The Worst Idea Of All Time - Overlooked and Undercooked: 04 VIPTreatment (w/ Rose Matafeo)

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Patricia thinks Rob is taking his VIP status for granted. Jamie forgets to feed Patricia's fish and needs to get a replacement. Rob takes a mime class.Rose Matafeo is a London-based kiwi comedian who enjoys tweeting and hosting her podcast Boners of The Heart, which is co-hosted by Alice Snedden. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the 34th episode of Overlooked and Undercooked, a critical analysis of Rob Schneider's attempt to, uh, how does he put it in the article, Guy? Upset? Shake up the television industry? Shake up the traditional show business model. My name is Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery. And I'd like to introduce our esteemed guest.

It is our absolute pleasure to have Rose Matafayo joining us. Hello. Hi, Rose. Wow. Can you... Why? This is the fourth episode in the show. This one is called VIP Treatment, an episode addressing the way in which society treats

our stars and our Rob Schneiders. Throughout, Tim insisted to you, Rose, I think by way of defensiveness, that this is the worst of all the episodes of this show we have seen so far. Yeah, it's the fourth and worst episode, and I can't fathom. But that's really weird because it's like, this is obviously the first introduction to this show I've seen. That's not that obvious to me, but I'm glad you've clarified.

I'm not a huge fan. I binged, I binged watched Real Rob at a really dark time in my life. But it's weird because it was so bad that I can't fathom something better in a way. You know what I mean? Like, that doesn't make sense logically. All you know is this. All I know is this, so I don't understand don't understand why would you expect anything more of any other part of it i expect yeah exactly this is my reality this fourth ep is my reality in real rob

universe and so i'm like i don't know i can't expect anything of a better quality or so i i mean i shouldn't have seen anything i shouldn't have seen anything i mean he's they've really shaken things up in the terms of not having a plot or um yeah no you're right i'd just like to quickly say because it does feel like a lifetime since we started watching the episode this episode started the cold open for this episode huge departure from what we usually see which is just light conversation in bed it started with rob mowing down a guy in his car. He literally hit someone in the car. And him and his wife Patricia playing it incredibly straight and incredibly serious. It was like Crash. It was like slow-mo.

He was coming out of the driver's seat, freaking out. And you know what I love about this is because what it was is that because obviously this is a passion project, it was an opportunity, a very, very small, small, minute opportunity to show his dramatic acting chops. Because this whole thing is a showreel. This whole thing is a thing that goes, look what I can do. Like, if it's self-funded,

God, this episode is a real showcase of his multiple attempts at talent. 100%. It's like, he went hard out on the drama of that. It was, oh my God. And kind of a, like it almost seemed like a fisheye lens and they slowed down some of the footage.

They really played it as big and for as little laughs as possible. It was the closest to stakes that we've had in this show so far. And as soon as you're like, oh wow, they're really doing something here, they immediately take it away from you. Cops arrive on the scene and are blown away by the presence of, these cops work in West hollywood i mean but how can seeing rob schneider have any impact on them the rob schneider i cannot believe it it's but so so we start strong and then immediately so the high the whole look it's called vip treatment

right the whole vibe i suppose of the the the show is supposed to be, the episode rather, is that he gets treated well because he's Rob Schneider. People go, recognize him and go, Rob Schneider, right? Which is, I understand, a departure from what we've previously experienced. Yeah, he gets dumped on occasionally. Occasionally he does get recognized. No one treats him with reverence, though, in the other episodes. This is the first time when it's true to be rock but he's tried to spit it on its head right and in terms of going you know the vip lifestyle people recognize

you and love you and adore you but they will ask you to tip well this is it so he tries to show the full breadth of yes you know the the cycle of. So initially what we see is special treatment. He walks into the Cheesecake Factory. He gets a table immediately. You know, he offers to pay the chef for the meal. The chef says, you can't do that. And we know it's the chef because he's wearing a large hat. And he offers to pay for the meal with a card at the table right after the food arrives. It's so panto, isn't it?

The whole thing. It's just... It's like a big, huge plate of pasta, I think. And the chef comes out with a huge... Cheesecake. No, what are they... I thought he was eating... No, it was pasta.

It's like a comical food. And cheesecake. It's like if you're writing a kid's cartoon and you go, a big plate of food, that's what arrives. And it is delivered by the most two-dimensional cartoon depiction of what someone assumes a chef is. It's literally the Starburns logo walked out of frame and into.

It's so good. Yeah. Yeah. I was more, I was like the chef from Ratatouille, but yes, I guess. No,

anyone can cook. Whatever his name is. So what was really So what I find interesting though Is like Those decisions There are so many stages At which people could have stopped this

You know what I mean No No no no I mean this had to be graded I know this is made I know this is made by Rob There are some things That he couldn't do

He couldn't edit this Right He couldn't grade this this had to go through and netflix released this it had to go through well that's what jutted out to you you said netflix needs to go down for this needs to go down for this because from what i've heard of netflix is that what do you have to do is you have to get this like captioned you have to send it to all of the locations in your in the in the in the world it goes approval. It gets re-edited and stuff, comes back, then gets released.

So many people, this would have gone through. This is not, because when I see this is released on Netflix, it's almost like Rob Schneider has made this. It's like having a baby and leaving it on the front doorstep of an orphanage. And you're like, have this for free.

I don't want this anymore. I think he, so the traditional deal is that you would do a deal with Netflix and they the traditional deal is that you would do a deal with netflix and they would pay for production or you'll do a co-pro or something where they pay a bit and you pay a bit and then you kind of split up proceeds or whatever actually you wouldn't do that with netflix i think what's happened here rob schneider has funded and made this himself that much we know i think he has paid netflix to put it on their network i i really i think so

at best he's sold it for 50 cents on the dollar so he's like i'm i'm five hundred thousand dollars down on making this but at least some people are gonna see it right it's but you also said while watching it and i quote this is teaching me so much about good directing well in the sense that i saw possibly the worst direction like in okay so we noticed this there was a point in the in the show where they physically they're cutting between two shots right which are it's it's utterly it doesn't make sense because they're cutting from like kind of a close-up to maybe a mid shot but they between the close of a mid shot they are changing body positions to the reverse yeah so

they're not this they're so not only just left and one and then he's on the right on the others and but it's the same conversation so they're literally in space moving from left to right yeah they're not just crossing the line they are literally changing positions to get around the problem of crossing the line but they're still doing both yeah and it like you watch it rose and i flipped out we were just like this is fucking madness shocking 15 year old media studies students would know better than that it's insane the amount of people who must be on that crew even as someone who work who works in them like like catering cost costume catering the craft services table would know to not do this. They all answer to Mr. Schneider.

The thing is as well. He's like, I say where the line is. The edit, like, I actually think whoever edited this did an okay job. Like, they would have been delivered something insane. Truly shocking, yeah. And so what this means is the editor has made the decision that it would be best to completely break this visual rule of television and filmmaking than to stay in one

of the takes because that would solve it if you just stayed in one of the takes and let it go that'd be all right but it obviously was so completely unusable the best option was to about five times flip you out as a viewer by changing the position as soon as rob schneider dictates that this is what we're doing on set immediately like in in your head you're like well net like it's one or the other there's no way we can use these we can cut between these two shots because they are entirely the opposite what they should have gone with is delete that entire scene and just replace it with some sort of silent film interstitial explaining what we needed to know plot wise which very little because plot wise this episode is fucking there

is no it's like they've filmed lots of different scenes in isolation and then put them together in no order that makes sense because what did it because i was what we were saying i don't know if you said this in previous episodes is the poor man's curb your enthusiasm we haven't actually drawn that straight line between the two yeah it's it's what's so clearly rob schneider going i'm just i'm kind of famous i have these interactions well why can't i make a show about this and what curb your enthusiasm succeeds in which is jokes and self-awareness and plot structure where it's like you can obviously see one situation is setting a punch line for the end of the show right rob schneider has missed that specific detail it's infuriating because everything every piece of action you see unfolding

you can't be like oh yeah this is because it's all worthless because you're like whatever whatever whatever it doesn't matter, whatever. But what I think he was trying to encapsulate in this episode, which is when I was saying he's trying to show the whole breadth of the celebrity experience, is initially he goes out and he goes, oh, Mr. Robert Schneider, please come straight to the front of the line of the hospital, or please go straight to the front of the line of the Cheesecake Factory.

And halfway through the episode, in a device that he abandoned for the previous episode, Rob does one of his talking heads, sort of documentary style, looking at the camera. And he says, you know, like what a lot of people don't realize. I think I wrote it down. He said, oh, every time something goes wrong with the house, I always, this is a quote, after he's shown all of the upside of being famous, now to try and be like, but also, you know, the Lord give us, but the Lord take us away. It's not all good, though, guys. This is a quote after he's shown all of the upside of being famous. Now to try and be like, but also, you know, the Lord give us, but the Lord take us away. It's not all good, though, guys. This is a quote.

Every time something goes wrong at the house, I always get raped on price. It sucks being famous. That's like he literally reinserted a device he had abandoned into the show to communicate this feeling to us. Yeah. And using literally the most problematic language you could use to describe the scenario. If I've learnt one thing about Rob Schneider from watching the fourth episode of Real Rob,

he does not shy away from the edgy topics. He's an edgy guy. Or observations or characterizations. In fact, could you give us a blow-by-blow of the scene where he is a mine? Yeah, so there's a number of offensive things in the show. Obviously saying raped by house prices. There's also some dodgy-ass shit about Mexican workers.

Yes. But he's got carte blanche on Mexicans because he's married to a Mexican. Of course. Which is like his in to just absolutely denigrate. It is such a naked entitlement you see on his smug writing face that he puts his wife in those scenes. Makes fun of an overweight family in it.

The Cheesecake Factory. By literally the joke in that one is just cutting to them. Yeah. Or rather large. You know what? I'm going to look at myself. I'm not going to say overweight. A larger family.

Okay. I've been poisoned by Rob Schneider. Describes them as pre-diabetic and says that they're probably doing them a favor. Yeah. By depriving them of a table, which he cut and crossed the line. And also, okay. So this, okay. I need to go through this really quickly because I wrote down some plot.

Okay. So first of all, they hit. Take your time, Rose down some plot. Okay. So first of all, take your time, Rose, enjoy yourself. Okay. So they hit, they hit a person in a car.

Okay. Then they go to the doctors because that he, that Rob might be hurt. Right. He is the whole, Oh, you're Rob Schneider thing. People keep recognizing him.

Then, um, something to do with the assistant killing, uh, his wife's fish, uh, which comes out of nowhere you got to get a new fish to assist can i can i just quickly put in one detail which was also introduced and never never reintroduced yeah at the start of the episode he's like oh i won forty thousand dollars

at the casino oh that's another one it never came back oh my god okay sorry so she needs money for her male review. Yes. That is a second scene, isn't it? Oh my God. I forgot. He's won $40,000 at the casino. He's counting stacks of cash on his table.

He cuts his finger. Then he gets worried because again, he makes an awful joke about- Casino whores handling money. His goods. Yeah. Casino whores handling money. Yeah. Casino whores handling money. Then there is possibly one of the worst examples of ADR, like bad ADR that we've seen.

Eat that mic up, Rose. ADR, sorry. I'm vibing on the bad audio quality, the behaviors of Rob Schneider. The worst ADR that we've ever seen, but it's ADR for a line of him saying casino whores Tim you made the great observation that they had a second

chance on that they landed and they landed on again like imagine being Rob Schneider in a voice booth watching that footage and trying to time the phrase casino whores to his lip sync.

Okay, what is Rob Schneider's relationship to Real Rob by the time they're in post-production? Hey, we've railroaded Rose's plot. No, I do like... In true Real Rob fashion, I feel like we should divert our attention to something completely different. What do you mean?

So he's doing ADR. Yeah. Does he care at this point? I think he still has to be patient. Okay. You have to care. It's entirely him. I think him and his wife

are enabling each other in the sense they're like, it's funny. But it's funny because... No, no, no, no. No, it's because it's the... It's what we go through. Yeah.

It's what we go through every day. Also, Jamie Lassaux, the assistant who's in on this, he's also a co-writer for your reference. Those are the three writers. Wow. Rob, his wife, and... What a depressing writer's room. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, I know. You've got to think they get someone in to punch up. So, continuing with the plot, we made it to the hospital. So, then the assistant kills the wife's fish. She's like, go find another fish. Then he goes and visits his wife at an exercise class where they're also doing street performing classes in the same studio.

She says, why did you do street performing classes? He says, no, I won't do that. He says, I'm too famous. I'm too famous for that. A lot of other shit happens where he gets recognized for stuff. Patricia has got all of her male review show men buddies around his house he's upset with the amount of cock in his house apparently which is also uh articulated in one of the weird green screen piece to cams which is oh we didn't even talk about the bit where he addresses the camera broke the fourth wall yeah it's the first

time they've used the ferris bueller device of just giving you the audience a line honestly no it's it's like funny games you know michael you know that you know funny games the film where okay well it's a spoiler but michael hanniket hanniket i don't know how to say his name it's a it's a it's a horror film where where where um people know like where all of the stuff happens basically it's like this family who gets like you know like fucked up this is a summer house all this stuff happens but they like get away and then the main protagonist of like the the the bad guy turns the camera and is like nah that's not happening and then rewinds basically what happens. And then all this little bad shit happens. Oh, that's quite a fun device. Which is amazing.

They rewind the film. Cool. But that's almost what I thought was going to happen here. Oh, and then you became scared that we were going to have to live through Rob's. I was so frightened. They were like, oh my God, has he seen Funny Games? And then, oh. But anyway, it's the most frightening thing.

It's like, it's a nightmare. Yeah. Having Rob Scheider. It's crazy. Because it's a nightmare. Yeah. Having Rob Scheider. It's crazy. Because he looks at you. Yeah. At us. And it's crazy because it's like,

it's right around him using the other device where he looks like, pick one and stick to it. The other thing he did in this episode, and you will be devastated to hear that you missed out on this, but like, it's interesting you drew a comparison between this and Kirby Enthusiasm

because in previous episodes, he's been going for Seinfeld, where he does where he inserts his stand up which is meant to be it's so painful where it's like loosely

it's meant to be loosely thematically connected so in the last episode no talking heads stand up interstitials in this episode

no stand up interstitials all talking heads and a brand new device this is the fourth episode we should have the language of the show pretty down by now, Mr. Schneider. I also think, I mean, because, yeah, Rose is probably more than me,

but we're both kind of interested in sort of the more technical elements as well of film and television making. And you've got bloody three quarters of a degree. I've got three quarters of a degree in film and TV, yeah. But there was so many examples of like, I think not only have they not cracked the visual language, I think they changed director of photography

this episode, or at least camera ops, because there was so much weird shit going on. There is no DOP on this. You just yell out in the middle of a scene, you're like, what is this Dutch angle? There's a Dutch tilt.

There was a point where the cameraman, all camera person, could have been a woman I really hope it wasn't I really truly hope it wasn't a woman doing the camera open they literally

stand up they were sitting down they dropped the camera so Rob is on a couch talking to Patricia Patricia I think it's spelled Patricia but I believe it's spelt um patricia but i believe it's patricia yeah um and the cat so the camera person is obviously for some reason they're they're holding the camera and they have felt the best decision would be to sit in the same

position rob is in and when he gets out of the couch they will stand up but you like feel the whole movement and it's all out of alignment. It's good. It's fucking weird. It's dirty. It's autobiographical. It's like you're on the set. It's like you're on the set with them. We figured this out like a hundred years ago,

how to shoot someone from a sitting to a standing position. If someone's sitting, the camera's got to be sitting with them. Someone's standing, you've got to be standing with them. It is method camera work. You know those cameras you can put on the collar of a cat to see where they're going in the daytimes yeah that is better camera work than the real rob or whatever real rob sorry no the no real real rob rob was taken and you know what i'm so so i really quickly want to finish what happened so basically well it's imperative it's imperative you know that the people at home are on tenderhooks

wondering how all of these plot threads have resolved themselves. So, basically, he decides to do the street performing class and says, oh, to Patricia, that he's going to be a mime at the circus. He's like, I'm going to take you to the circus. I'm going to be a mime before the circus show. go to the circus show this is a very poorly attended circus show it's all it's the most uh it's it's um you know when you see a scene and even if you don't like obviously we've worked in film and you know tv i'm lucky enough to have worked in tv um and you

know when something's so sparsely um cast with supporting actors and really bad chairs and stuff. This is not a real show. We know this. Anyone would know this. So he's doing mime and he's making fun of people walking in. First of all, he makes fun of a guy looking for a seat. Ha ha ha. Everyone laughs. Then another woman comes in who might be a little bit larger.

A beautiful woman wearing a beautiful bright lime green boob tube dress. That's right. Comes in, obviously makes fun of her, perhaps because of her weight. What do you think? Everyone still laughs. What do you think was on the casting sheet for that woman's character?

Probably, okay, the roughest description you could possibly. Rob Schneider does not hold any punches, all right? Because they gave her the same makeup they've been giving characters in Happy Madison movies for years to denote that they are a joy kill i think it's not even a description of what like obviously the joke relies on her perhaps physical description i think they write they literally wrote just bad woman just bad a bad woman they're a good woman and they're a bad woman and then what happens right and then

and then okay and then so a man uh walks in who has obviously got a little bit difficulty walking right uh and he and everyone's like don't do it this is like his extras moment so it's almost like um yeah extras like the cerebral palsy uh yeah right yeah um which is so obviously like kind of lifted from that in a sense i mean and also don't live from kind of most offensive worst part of extras like ricky gervais barely got away with it barely got away i watched that episode again i watched that episode again recently and it's just like didn't get away with it wow you would not get but clearly people still are because this was when was this put out on netflix real this is 2015 this wow okay um nothing don't you dare use anything in here as a moral barometer of what's okay no but i'm judging

netflix for even distributing this in a sense right yeah exactly which is why they gotta go down but anyway okay so we get i don't want to say that because i want a netflix deal we could we get introduced to the guy who has got some sort of a disability who's walking in and everyone's like don't do it the scene slows that is like time slows down and so we get people's reactions in the in the order he's he's written it so the audience know. Everyone knows he shouldn't be. Comedy is about timing and it's subverting your expectation of a situation. What he basically does is shows us a set up, then shows obviously the obvious reaction,

does not subvert it in any way, follows through on it, and then what we expected to happen happens. So basically he's deconstructed a joke to the point where it's not a joke at all it's just a situation obviously he gets punched by a big burly man who's with this person he's making fun of i think he did the best work in the show well there's some consequence to him being a fucking asshole to a disabled man absolutely the way they treat plot it's sort of the narrative equivalent of just someone at a party who opens a fresh beer, has a sip, puts it down, forgets they've opened a beer, opens another beer, has a sip, puts it down, forgets. And then the next one, there's like five 90% full beers. Who wasted these five beers? And the lack of storytelling skills is to a point where it's offensive.

But what is offensive is the actual offensive stuff. Like he's literally just making fun of a disabled person in this sequence and it is wild to me yeah that like you say it got through there's not a lot of tears to the production here because he is self-funding producing directing writing and starring in this thing judge jury and execution there are fucking other people in the room at some point and someone needs to sit his ass down and be like, my dude, and he's like, no, no, no, that's why it's funny,

because I'm going to get punched at the end. It's like, I know, but this is still fucking terrible. This is why Hollywood is poison. How much funnier that joke would have to be to qualify existing. However, it does neatly lend us to a closing scene, ostensibly where the episode comes full circle.

He is waiting in the hospital once more but rendered unrecognisable due to his swollen and painted face and who should

wander down the corridor for a tasty little cameo David Spade that's exactly right I used to have a crush on him when he was in

Just Shoot Me now I no longer have a crush on him obviously understandably so his facial hair makes him look like the V for Vendetta

mask I'll be honest but blonde yeah and then that's how it ends yeah well and david spade doesn't even get anything of value given to do he just comes in he's david spade he doesn't recognize rob schneider and that so concludes the episode i got a question for you, Rose. Yes. Are we punching up? Are we punching up? Okay, so it actually brings us to an interesting thing that was brought up in the episode of the... What was it? Like he was tipping. It was like pay disparity.

Yeah, yeah. Kind of, you know. So I think we are punching up. Yes, because this is a man who has made a lot of money on things that aren't very good it's hard because i think we can't well you can't necessarily transfer like talent to money there is work that goes into it opportunity that you need to be needs to be like you know given to you so in no way are we punching up because he has the money to make

this passion project so you mean to know we're punching down we are punching up oh sorry we're no we're punching up oh 100 he is an adult man he is an adult man with children a child no he's got two kids with another you know he's got three kids i think he's got all the kids because in this they showcase the very gorgeous baby that he's got but he's got two kids. He's got a kid with another... No, he's got three kids, I think. He's got older kids, eh? Because in this, they showcase the very gorgeous baby that he's got, but he's got older children. I didn't see that baby, but yeah. This is the first episode in which he's not obsessed with the functionality of his dick, by the way.

Is it? Yeah. Well, really, I'm going to catch up on the first three. But no. You should watch them. You've already seen them. We all know. We're obviously punching up.

Like, what? Okay, I don't... Yeah, no, I mean... Yeah, it's upsetting. Okay. I don't want to talk about it because it makes me upset that he... It's like... There's been one woman

who's won Best Director at the Academy Awards, you know what I mean? Like, this is the Hollywood we're living in. We're Rob Schneider. This television show and the Academy Awards

do not exist in the same conversation. They exist in the same world. Like, in the same vicinity as each other well they've definitely been to the oscars they were very far back in the room with cameras rose what would you say to rob schneider fuck you man stop what you're doing there are so many people i want to tell to stop what they're doing and i know everyone should be able to express themselves creatively, but I don't think anyone should be able to inflict harm upon other people and be this disrespectful to many groups of people in their show

and also take up space on the server that is Netflix. And I think Netflix does need to start deleting things, and this needs to be the first thing. Well, if you want to see a softer side of Rob, I may encourage you to check out his special Soy Sauce and the Holocaust. That is honestly the title. That's honestly the title. So concludes the episode.

Rose, do you have anything? We have no idea when these episodes will be released. Like your podcast. Oh yeah, I do another podcast called Boners of the Heart with Alice Neddon. We talk about strange crushes on certain celebrities. Rob Schneider, never been one. Isn't he? I feel like he's featured in an ep. Rob Schneider, never been one. Isn't he?

I feel like he's one hundred percent. He's never been a... No, he's never been a... Not as a heartthrob, but I thought he had come up as a target of discussion at some point. He's on the... No, he's on the shit list. We're going to get Alistair on episode two.

He might make an appearance on the back of your shared disdain. Can I just ask you a question as well, Rose? Because you've kind of got a little bit of a love for bad things as well. Do you have a desire to consume the rest of the series? 100% not. I think life is too short. Yeah. And I've got so many other things to do.

Like what? Name three. Lie motionless on my bed and watch my ceiling fan and recuperate from what I've just experienced that's three thank you so much I would like to end this episode

with a quote from Rob that he says during the show written as a joke I presume this is after

he accidentally kills the fish with his assistant he says I guess we go how do we sort it out I guess we go back in time and feed the fish with his assistant. He says, I guess we go, how do we sort it out? I guess we go back in time and feed the fish.

Wait, we don't have a time machine. I don't know what we do now. That's the whole saying. Bye everybody. Thank you so much, Rose.