The Worst Idea Of All Time - Overlooked and Undercooked: 06 Cleaning House (w/ Alice Snedden)

Episode Date: August 26, 2019

Patricia orders Rob to get rid of all his old stuff in a garage sale. Rob invites a shaman into the house to get rid of 'bad energy'.Alice Snedden writes a column (apparently) but more importantly, writes tweets and hosts Boners of The Heart with Rose Matafeo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm offended. Montgomery. And you introduce the guest. This is how this works. I don't really introduce myself. No, you've come all this way, Alice. And joining us on this episode is... Make sure you add a bio. Fantastic Kiwi comedian, writer, columnist and podcaster extraordinaire Alice Sneddon. Hi, Alice. Would you like to introduce yourself? Or do you think Tim did a good enough job? I wasn't paying attention. I thought that we were thrown to guy and i was like i've really stitched him up here he'll have to do a great bio we're less than a meter away i was just i know i was so completely tuned out but i'm happy to be here thank you so much for having me and thank you for mentioning the column uh you're welcome yeah i mean the columns you obviously now this of course for your reference and those at home who might be tuning in for the first time, is a show that is self-funded, written, produced, directed by and starring the titular Rob.

This was episode six. It was called Cleaning House, purportedly about cleaning out a house. What was it about? Alice you look as low I've only spent a handful of time with you. I have a vague handle on your mood This appears to be sort of plumbing the depths

I don't even know how to put into words how much I hated what just happened on screen almost for every second of the time that it was on screen. First of all, I've never liked Rob Schneider. So, you know what? I'll be honest with you. He came in with

you know, with a handicap. Sure. Can you still say that? I'm talking about at the golfing tournament. Yeah. And I'll be honest, he blew my expectations out of the water in the negatives you came in expecting

something terrible and what you got was somehow something that's pushed me to the brink of a real irreversible depression so well 14 minutes into this 24 5 minute episode you said and I quote I honestly think this is putting me into a depression.

Thankfully, moments later, you were brought out of your funk by the line spoken by his wife, Patricia, I think you're confusing antique with piece of shit. And I just put a footnote saying, belly laugh from Sneddon. Lies, lies. That's true.

Do you remember laughing at that line? I you remember laughing at that line i do remember laughing at that line but but in an ironic way it's very difficult to discern it is god i just you know what i can't actually i'm not in a good space to articulate all of the things that i find wrong with the show for everyone who wants to alice is sort of on her haunches leaning on both her knees staring a thousand yards into the ground beneath her i'm so sorry i don't know if this is good content uh it's wonderful um well maybe we should start with actually i just i do want to try and capture your mood right now as much as best as you can articulate it okay based on what you've just seen look here's the best way i can articulate it sure when you work in a creative profession what you do is you

push it uphill for you know a number of years let's say decades in the hope that at one point in your life you will be given a shot to show people what you are capable of what I have just witnessed is a man who has been given shot after shot and is and he's used that shot in a literal sense to put a bullet through my head

Jesus could you please tell us the plot I can't as best as you can a normal structure of a sitcom is in I'm going to get so worked up about this a normal structure is that

it is in three acts what he had was a series of vignettes loosely related oh my god I've forgotten about the talking heads he had talking heads at one point so normally you'll see a sitcom and sometimes they'll have like seinfeld did like little interstitials where you'll see him do stand up

this had stand up and talking heads and then the longest establishing shots i've ever seen in any sitcom well you were you i'm furious that there are people starving in the world and he's used his money to create something that is making our lives actively worse. You were lucky in that you got to see the full arsenal of weapons in Rob Schneider's storytelling. Cut from one of the talking heads to a stand-up bit in this episode. The man is losing his fucking mind.

He's playing with the form. I was worried that this podcast might be punching down on Rob Schneider. You are the one who introduced us to this potential pitfall. Yes, and now having watched that, it's important that he gets punched in the face as many times as possible. Jesus. I'll just say that on behalf of Guy and myself, we would never advocate for violence against Rob Schneider,

but Alice Neden has. I'm happy to go out on a limb. That's a direct quote. Well, a few moments that jump out for your visceral reaction to them. One of them, I think, the entire room was on absolute tenderhooks. In one of the stand-up vignettes,

he starts talking about how even Stephen Hawking got divorced. And then he very slowly reaches into the inside pocket of his blazer and removes a pair of glasses and the whole room inhaled in anticipation for what will surely be a bone crunchingly good

Stephen Hawking impersonation You know what I actually respected his stand up more than any other part of the show especially the Stephen Hawking bit because I was like oh he went there It wasn't as bad as it was as offensive as I was expecting, but it was funnier than I was expecting.

The problem that got me about it is that it did not follow the logical structure of a joke, but it also didn't do something which has subvert the structure of a joke. It more misunderstood the structure of a joke. Can I ask you a question? Do you like jazz music?

No. So, okay, back to the plot. So take us through as best you can. What happened in the set? Okay, I'll give you the outline of the plot. Here we go. Rob Schneider. I don't know how it begins i can't remember spirits in their

house if you can cast your mind back the cold open was rob schneider in a laundromat oh fuck that's right uh just like just happened we just finished watching just being incredibly rude to a father and son in the laundromat about how these washing machines aren't for people, they're for dogs. They're for dog piss. They're for dog vomit. Why would he be there washing them when he has the much belaboured assistant do the other much far worse... Because the much belaboured assistant Jamie Lassaux, who co-writes the show, is not to be trusted with a scene that shows such burgeoning comic potential. But he will surely bungle his big opportunity

this really does show that you should never tell someone to give up on comedy because anything's possible anything is possible but isn't it more a lesson that you should tell some people to give up on comedy because it's like a killing baby Hitler thing you know

don't you think like some people if just they continue to be enabled and catch enough lucky breaks, they can produce this work, which we're watching, Real Rob. Which I really, I, this feels mean to say, but I agree with you that this being out there is making the world a worse place, which I don't enjoy saying

because it's someone's attempt at art. And I think that you need to be open to lots of people's different version of how to express themselves. But this is such fucking hot garbage that it hurts that it exists. You specifically said you think it's damaging the Netflix brand.

Yes, I do. I strongly stand by that. Netflix does a job of, I mean, honestly, as I was just about to launch into this rant, I realized they had Ricky Gervais' humanity up there, so it's not impenetrable. But they'd be better off displaying and keeping the work of sexual abusers than they would. Jesus Christ. Wait, you're crossing the streams. You mean Louis C.K., not Ricky Gervais.

Yeah, I mean Louis C.K. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I was like, I'd rather you just keep fucking... I'm blown away by the fact that... I'm not bringing a good energy. No, you're doing okay. You're reacting honestly to what we watched.

We've watched five episodes of this today. I'd like to say... I can't believe that. watched five episodes of this today. I'd like to say... I can't believe that. I genuinely can't believe that. I'd like to say for your reference, Alice, I think that the cold open we saw was probably the funniest and best executed of all the cold opens that we've had on the show so far.

It was one coherent joke or extended sort of riff or stanza that had a beginning and an end. Like, there has been evidence through the previous two episodes that rob schneider is learning as he goes yeah that's good you know what that brings me hope no that's progress but i don't agree i don't agree with that assessment as the only other person in the room who's watched the trajectory of the show i don't think that's true i don't think that's true at all for him to go from one of the talking head bits into

a stand-up bit instead of back to the show you've it's called don't be afraid to fail you know yeah that's but you should be actually coming around hard on this i'm making a full 90 degree right turn this show hasn't got any better it's gotten different and each episode fails in its own way but it has not i don't think it's improved from the pilot i have a question has his wife ever showed an interest in the performing arts before so there is a mention of in the episode because this is autobiographical i take the little tidbits of information they give us as real so there's a mention that she's 29 which blows my mind she's 29 well that's what they said in the show and i believe that that would be true because why would you not at least he thinks it's really funny the only the other the

other thing is that she said in one of the episodes that she came from mexico where she had a life as a tv producer yeah she's got a lot of producer credits here dating back to 2007. Her acting debut was in a short called Alkahest in 2006 as Patricia Snyder, so as herself. And since then, the only splash she has made in the entertainment industry

is, as a performer, is beginning with Real Rob. You will be excited to hear she will be featuring in Fight or Flight in 2016, which I don't think has been released,

but it has been completed. And Planeta 5000. There's so much good footage, it's taking them two years to get to that. She is simultaneously making her writing and performing debut in this show. And I've got to say, up against Rob Schneider,

she's acting her pants off. I think she's all right. I will say that whatever bar has been set by this show, she is well clearing it. But Jamie isn't somehow. No, I... Although he doesn't feature heavily in this episode because he's sick.

What is his background? Is he... He's some sort of stand-up comedian. Right. That doesn't mean he's good or has charisma. No, but you'd imagine that it would mean those things. When I think stand-up comedian who has a TV show, I would say those are two of the fundamental prerequisites.

Yeah. Well, speaking of, we did have another cameo in this episode. It's always a treat for us here at... Who was the cameo? Undercooked and Overlooked. George Lopez. Oh, yeah, I forgot. That's right. I forgot Lopez that's right

I forgot about that as well Well it's hard to remember all this stuff because it doesn't appear to happen consecutively or in any meaningful

way they just sort of keep throwing stuff up in the air and it lands when and where it lands That's right he had the guy come in to do the spirit

cleaning and then the guy was like I need marijuana so then we followed this whole thing about medical marijuana for a good five minutes before returning back to the house.

The house. Where the spirit cleaner had just remained. Presumably been hanging out. Watching TV or something. We are then treated to definitely in the top three continuity eras in the series so far where there's a back and forth. And the spirit cleaner is wearing a, what do you call them, like a cap thing. It's a skull cap sort of. That's right. Yeah. No, it's a stocking. Yeah, it's a back and forth, and the spirit cleaner is wearing a, what do you call them, like a cap thing? It's a skull cap, sort of. That's right, yeah.

No, it's a stocking. Yeah, it's a stocking. It's a head thing. A little thing for the head. It's called a skull cap. I thought a skull cap was another... It's very long at the back, though. It's like a do-rag, then.

Much longer than a normal skull rag. It was more like a scarf that was tied around his head. Let's call it a head scarf. And in one of the back and forths, it just disappears. And then you cut back to Rob's angle, and then it's back there. And then you go back again, and then it's gone. And then you go back to Rob, and it's there again. In five seconds.

It's crazy. They get it wrong three or four times. Which I think was the moment where I thought, well, maybe Rob Schneider is actually actively trolling the audience. Oh, okay. Do you reckon? I mean, it's unlikely that he has the ambition or wherewithal to execute such a vision,

but that's not a difficult scene to reshoot. No, and do you know what? Here's the thing that I noticed as well. In that sequence, the bit where it's going back and forth doing the cutting is because he just repeats a sentence like incredulously. I can't remember what the wording is. He's like, is it?

It is. Is it? It is. So it's like you could just edit that repetition out and you would actually be fine. So the editor has either by their own volition or been instructed from on high from Rob to fucking keep it in. I see it. We all see it. Alice gasped when it happened.

I did. Yeah, it was quite shocking though because the only other continuity error i've ever noticed that bad before is in love actually you heard of this film it's an ensemble comedy and do you like it i love it but i know it's problematic but i enjoyed it at the time that i enjoyed friends as well which is like you know when i was less aware we don't need to get into okay all right let's not but in love actually the the laura linney's like crush is sitting on the end of the bed and he's got pants on and then we see her and then we cut back to him and he's not wearing any pants now it's not a continuity error i would ever complain about it's quite honestly a great surprise I like to think in those ones

there's one in We Are Your Friends as well where Zac Efron's on the ground and then it cuts back and then less than a second he's standing up again I like to imagine just the mad scrambles yeah what's happened this guy just frantically

trying to get his pants off she's talking about how her brother's ill and he's like oof oh my god i gotta get it do you know what i think i was too hard on rob i want to i want to pull it back a little bit okay cool well here's your opportunity and speak to the positives of the show which are that um yes really get that microphone in there so we can hear It's amazing to see somebody Really put Their money where their mouth is

That takes a lot of Bravery And you know For that I have Respect for him that he has The confidence to back up his Ideas with his hard Earned and and often, if we're honest, easily-earned cash.

So for that, I say kudos to you, Rob. Do you think maybe an extra set of eyes on the script or the direction or any element of the production might have been of use? Yeah, here's what I think happened. I think all three of them wrote their lines independently and then they arrived at set on the day of shooting and they were like okay i know what i'm doing in this scene and all individually and then they go rob goes action he runs in front of the camera there's no cameraman he's behind the camera he

sets up the shot he yells action he runs in front of the camera and then they all say their lines that they'd individually planned with no with no adjustment for what the other person has just said and then he goes cut when there's been a silence of about a minute because he wants he doesn't know what everyone's got planned and then he goes we've got it in the can. He goes, actually, we'll shoot it again from a degree that is 15 degrees different just so that we've got coverage, something that we can cut to. Does everyone remember what they were doing?

No? Perfect. Yeah, yeah. I like the thing of him having seen Curb Your Enthusiasm and heard about the process being like, guys, we're going to do the same thing Curb Your Enthusiasm and heard about the process, being like, guys, we're going to do the same thing Curb Your Enthusiasm do. We're all going to write our own lines and just show up and perform them. He definitely had it.

Here's my second theory. This is my B theory. He had a coffee with Larry David. He had a coffee sitting at a table adjacent to Larry David and listened to half a phone call while he explained the concept. And he thought Larry David was on the phone discussing how he made Curb Your Enthusiasm. But in fact, he was on the phone discussing

probably like a mixture of things. I'd say he was planning a funeral, talking his way through a divorce and also recalling a recipe to somebody and you think rob was furiously writing various bits of those conversations and was like i understand how he made the show and then my third and final theory is that he said to himself you know what i've got 50 minutes of stand-up that goes okay and i have how many episodes is this eight eight in the season two seasons are there two seasons of this believe it alice

well yeah after the first season did so well who funded the second season the schneider estate did he make back his money on the first season? We have no idea because all the Netflix. Tim thinks that he paid Netflix to take it. I think he sold it to Netflix for less than it cost him to make. You are like welling up. Talk it out. No, no, no.

Hold on. Talk it out. What is this? I just can't believe That he funded it That This is how Trump got elected Rob Schneider He's a Trump supporter isn't he?

No surely not I think he's flirted with the idea His fucking daughter's a pop star He'll be a Ron Paul supporter Rob Schneider's idea. His fucking daughter's a pop star. He'll be a Ron Paul supporter. Rob Schneider's daughter. His even older daughter's a pop star. Yeah. Oh, incredible.

She did that song, that huge song. She's successful. Yeah, she's successful. She had one big song. Crazy. I didn't know that. Does she have the Schneider name or does she have a performance stage name? Ellie King?

Yeah. What's the big song she had? It was Studio How old is she Because in this show I almost just cried then Legitimately X's and O's

Yes But you'd recognise it Okay How old is she How old is Ellie Like 21 22 She was born in

90 90 89 She's 29 20 Yeah fuck me 28 21, 22? She was born in... 90? 90? 89. She's 29. She's 20. Yeah, fuck me. 28.

Because this show is about him raising a one-year-old as well. I saw that right at the very end. I had not been introduced to this child yet once before, but right at the very end, I think he was attempting to... What's going on? Oh, you're playing it. No, we don't have the rights to music. Let's go to the chorus. She's got a good voice by the sounds of that.

She sounds like Duffy. Yes, she does. Yeah, she absolutely does. Oh, she's got a great voice. That's awesome. That's so cool. She's so here. Yeah, cool.

People aren't going to hear a whole lot of that on these mics. We know. We know. You should look up that song. It's good. Where were we? You were just sort of in a K-hole. There was actually one of his stand-up jokes got me.

I laughed genuinely at it. He was discussing The Beatles. Yep, that was a good bit. And he's talking about Paul McCartney in a concert, and he's saying... He's 72. You're 72. He's talking about Paul McCartney playing new music.

You're 72. You might not make it through the show. End on a hit. It's funny. Is it? Funny enough. Do you know what? His Paul McCartney impression

Was easily the best acting He'd done throughout The entire episode He was a core cast member In the Bad Boys Like 1990 to 1994 I forget that about him

I reckon Rob Schneider Is not a bad comic actor I think he's a terrible writer He's not an impressionist I think What? No Have you seen any of his

Shit where he's just like Not at broad strokes of entire you know uh cultures i thought steven hawking was pretty good really he showcased a pretty decent it's like the easiest it's like an arnold schwarzenegger impersonation you do the robot impersonation what he didn't do in arnold you you you said it was easy so go on hit us with your flawless impression Timbett non-impressionist Timbett with Arnold Schwarzenegger let me tell you about oh fuck I can't even start it I need to key in hold on hold on you're off key no no key in to the to the tonie voice. Give me your... It's not a tumor. I need your jacket, your boots, and your motorcycle.

It's sort of... That's hot garbage, actually. Rainier Wolf Castle. Well, that's based on Arnie, so... I'll tell you what I liked about it was that you didn't go for the easy quote. Which is? I'll be back.

Was that it then? My honest impression is, I'll be back. Don't you stay here, I'll be back. Was that it then? My honest impression is I'll be back. Don't you stay here. I'll be back. Quite a different movie. Quite a different tone. I'll stay moving. One second, please.

I'll be back in my own time. It was originally scripted. One second, please. There was also a funny bit because Rob, his personality is kind of a composite of all these things that he's skim read i think online and he's sort of uh at one point he's like a russian bot yeah he's trying to explain to his uh mexican american wife what america is and how they do things in america and he says in america we have these things called myth busting

and random shootings, which is meant to be a gag, I think. But knowing who he is, and this is semi-autobiographical, all I wanted to say afterwards, we've got these things called myth-busting and random shootings and vaccinations. And if you give them to your children, it leads to autism. That's great. Yeah, so can we actually Google that?

Because we keep, I don't think we've said this in the podcast, but we keep referencing that we think Schneider is an anti-vaxxer. Does that ring any bells, Alice? You go online? Yeah, I do go online. Thank you. I can't say that I've spent an inordinate amount of time going online specifically looking up for information pertaining to Rob Schneider.

What I have here is a four-minute, minute 28 second video with the title rob schneider speaks out against vaccines and well that's brave you know it's from like a pro it's like or not pro but it's from a uh channel called truth tube one one one one hey can i tell you something educate before you vaccinate oh fuck guess who else is an anti-vaxxer? Jim Carrey? No. I think he flirted with it when he was... Robert De Niro.

No. Really? But Robert De Niro is senile. He's off the boil in a big way. Do you reckon he's senile? Yeah. No, is he? Yeah, Robert De Niro's old.

Yeah, we didn't make you senile. That's ageist, mate. Ruth Bader Ginsburg is in her 80s and still a Supreme Court justice. Yeah, but she's not a fucking anti-vaxxer, mate. He's 74. My mum's only 72, so I think actually you're on to something. Don't bring the great Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg into this. Hey, as a special audio treat, do you want to play some of that?

Because I think we can do this. I'm going to sacrifice my mic so that we can hear a little bit of schneider so guy is this him talking about um i haven't watched this before but we're just gonna at random play some hold on it's not plugged in i gotta unplug me hold on my wife is five months pregnant and i'm for parental rights not government coercion telling us what we can do, what we can't do with our kids. There is no other mandated procedure. First of all, it's illegal. You can't make people do procedures that they don't want. The parents have to be the ones who make decisions for what's best for our kids. It can't be the government saying that. It's against the Nuremberg laws. I mean, it's ridiculous. And it's against the state constitution, and it's against their own bylaws here.

I mean, I was reading the... I've been reading some legislation that was passed years ago about they used to do state sterilizations, and they thought that that was a good thing, you know? So you can't let the state make the decisions. The people have to decide, and parents have to decide, and that's why I'm here. You know, the idea that the state is going to tell me what I can do with my kids first of all the doctors are not going to tell you both sides of the issue they're not because they are they are they're told by the pharmaceutical industry which makes billions of dollars completely safe and let me tell you we've gone from when you and

i were kids you had like eight shots i do you know he raised a lot of good points it's it's yeah it's not the most um ridiculous version of it but a lot of good points. Yeah, it's not the most ridiculous version of it, but a lot of what he says is incorrect. And there's so few states that are legally mandating. I don't think, well, I don't know about any states that are legally mandating you to get it. This is something that, because my wife is a GP, she gets riled up about.

She's like, literally, vaccines are literally the greatest thing we've ever invented. Like they've saved that in clean water are the things that have saved more lives through science than any other thing we've done. Can I talk about Jenny McCarthy's kid autism? Well, that's an indisputable fact. Because she fixed it. Speaking of, you know, cure-alls for health, you know, the hospital of Patch Adams. I think comedy is a fine cure for anything that ails you.

And speaking of a real high point in terms of comedy while watching episode six of Real Rob, Cleaning House, how about those fart FX? Oh, yes! The shit gags. How is Robbie... So Rob makes a chicken soup for Jamie, but it's like on purpose

It's got Camelobacter or something Yeah it's got Camelobacter in it Because he won't let his wife try it Wait how do you say it? Thank you for not I don't know But thank you for not making fun of me Camelobacter on the 45

Because his wife Goes to get a spoonful of it and he's like, that's not for us. I'm cooking this for Jamie. It's safe for Jamie. It's not safe for us. And then,

you know, predictably, he gets the shit. He actively poisons his assistant. But why? And then chastises him when his assistant

can't come in because he's sick. Those are the actions of a madman. It's that disorder, you know, when parents poison their kids. Munch houses. Yeah, it's that., you know, when parents poison their kids. Munchausen.

Yeah, it's that. That'll be me one day. But worse, because that's got a logic to it, where the parent is trying to be doting and mothering, so it's like trying to put your child in a vulnerable state so you can parent them. Rob's just like, I'm going to poison you. I don't understand why you're sick.

It doesn't make any fucking sense. Ellis, if you could say anything to Rob Schneider, what would you say to him right now? I'd like to audition for a part. In your series Real Rob. Well, there's every chance

he's listening along what would your ideal role be in season 3 oh that's such a good question I reckon I'm gonna come in as his lefty like neighbour like his really hard left feminist neighbour

you'll be a lesbian by the way on this show on this show absolutely I'll be a lesbian I'll have to shave my hair yes correct um and go topless like i think every scene i'll be in will be my breasts will be pixelated and and i'll constantly be washing my clothes under the hose yes it would be a perfect piece a pitch perfect piece of casting for your appearance in Real Rob. And I'll probably not live in my house. I'll be on a tent on the front lawn. Perfect.

And I'll be against some sort of normal recycling. Well, the great news is you don't even need to submit. You can just show up on set on the day with this character and lines ready to go and get ready to tuck into some lovely work i reckon that's how they get all the extras on this is that um rob schneider because this is filmed in his house without question is that which is why it's so staggering they couldn't reshoot the witch doctor scene you've got access to the set 24 hours a day i don don't know if you noticed, but all of the lighting is just overhead. And so he's on the star tour, and that's how they get all their extras.

They only shoot this show between the hours of like 11.45am and 12pm, which is when the star bus rolls around the front of their house. And he goes, great, we've got a garage sales scene. Can you guys just pop out and just be the attendees here that's probably why they look so demoralized when they're performing as well they really do i think that's us alice have you got anything you'd like to plug we don't know

when this is going to be released your podcast maybe alice oh yeah i produce the heart yeah boners of the heart it was called boner No, that's a wicked rumor that's going around that I will squash. Well, consider it squashed. Bonus of the heart. Fantastic, Alison. Check her out on Boner Patrol. I'd like to end this episode with a quote from Rob Schneider and one that I imagine he was saying both in character

and as the director and sort of showrunner to all of the crew and cast on set which is don't do it for me do it to keep your job okay