The Worst Idea Of All Time - Podcast in a Tree 2: 06

Episode Date: June 23, 2024

Throw on your loudest shirt and hoof it down to Pukekawa; it’s the last episode of PIAT Season 2 and the boys are clocking in for a BIG finale. We’re talking BIG trees. BIG interior decorating. BIG plans for 2024. Tim and Guy, along with Guest on the Ground (Guest on the Roots?) Abby Howells, cover all their bases for the new year with a combination of western medicine, magic crystals and a whopping dose of fresh air. An installment of the weekly segment Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant in a Tree takes an unexpected turn. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to another episode of Podcasting a Tree. Oh wow, we're starting like that. We're in it. This is episode 6 of season 2, our final episode. We're in definitely the best tree in the park by measure of size and respect. There is a certain mana to this tree, which I have dressed against. This is a tree that makes a person feel small. Yeah. And the other trees we were in, we were always small next to the tree. But in this instance, we are tiny.

Yeah. We are little absurd ants playing in this mighty and again if only we had the names of these trees to be able to call upon yeah there'll be people um certainly not listening they won't be able to guess no because we're not even describing okay broad bottle green leaves no i don't know if i'm gonna be able to pull this off people watching will be able to say what it is. Maybe. It's, it's, I honestly don't think it's important.

It's a great tree. It's a mighty tree. How are you feeling about being here? I love it. It's the biggest one we've been in. It's got the most complex overground root system I've seen. Yeah. Which does make it probably the most precarious for a fall that's true because instead of just landing on soft ground or even level ground um there's

opportunity for body parts limbs to be bent you know on the scale of you think about that kind of thing I do I do and I do not want to think about that kind of thing i'll rationalize with it for a while because it's not concrete you know like it is hard and it's got some interesting angles i reckon they probably modeled concrete on wood do you think i reckon they saw wood and they were like we need something like that we need to go we need to build it fast but we need to make it ourselves concrete isrete is a bizarre thing. Was concrete before bricks? What a great question.

I don't think so, no. Well, I don't know. A brick could have been made from clay. Yeah. And clay's got to be before concrete. Because clay's just there. Whereas concrete's got to be all the, you've got to make that substance. And now I'm thinking about it, they probably modelled concrete clay than concrete on bricks. Yeah on wood sorry on wood. What bricks are modelled on wood? Where are we? Let me backtrack I was saying concrete was modelled on wood and now as we

educate ourselves by talking further I realise it's probably more modelled on clay not wood. Nice. Not wood. I reckon you're you're right yeah but wood I think is the originator because you know you need to do anything for that clay you got to bake it in the Sun concrete you gotta figure out which rocks to grind up how finely and mix them together but wood just exists well this tree assuming no one chops it down will this tree be alive forever? Dunno, I don't think trees are like that are they? They're old trees. Yeah but they're not, oh yeah are they? Do they just go?

They must be trees that are thousands... What are they going to have a heart attack? No. Are they going to have a stroke? No. Are they going to get malnourished? Well the soil is so dynamic, though. You could keep it juiced up. What's the oldest tree, do you think? There's trees...

I think there's trees in the Middle East that are really old. Pre-biblical. That still exists. Do you know that? Does anyone know that? I know we don't usually do this but I'm interested, what's the oldest tree in the world? No one knows. Do you know? The oldest tree in the world? If you had to guess. Yeah. Which would be... 700?

And in New Zealand, thank you. And in New Zealand context, we've just been told that Cody would be the oldest, but I don't quite hear how many hundreds of years she's... I'm thinking of individual trees as opposed to a genus as well. Oh, right, yeah. There's Tane Mahuta, which I've visited. It's pretty old. Maybe this is just big.

This is like 400 or 500 years. Yeah. We're talking trees a lot, I guess. It's appropriate. Yeah, it is. We haven't been giving the trees maybe their dues during this season of Podcasting the Tree. Should we get a guest on?

It's been fun, though. Well, can we talk about my shirt first? What am I, chopped leather? Yeah, yeah. I really put myself out there with this thing. Yeah, it's nice. I put it on a while ago, so it hasn't had the big flashy reveal for Guy

that it will for people tuning in, but it's bold. It's a nice... Describe it in your own terms for those listening and not watching. Sort of psychedelic. It's not quite tie-dye because it's more controlled. Psychedelic, multicoloured pattern.

If I saw someone at a music festival wearing that, I would... Ask to buy? No, I would sort of be like, I could have a really good conversation with this person or I could have the worst conversation of my day with this person. That's how I'd feel. Definitely.

And that is this episode. Yeah. Dealing with me. Yeah. In this. I feel good about it, man. I just think as long as you're wearing what you're comfortable in, I'm happy. This was sent from a Worcester Air fan.

And I am devastated that I don't even know what to search to bring back the email correspondence we had that I'm pretty sure he negotiated sending this over to me, which is so good. But from memory, part of it is modelled on the fact that it fucks up face scan camera things. It messes with them. Because it's got these buzzy patterns that can trick AI into thinking it's kind of a face but it isn't you're trying to trick AI with your clothes yeah man we gotta stay on top of that we simply must

I'm just wearing simple clothes I found two screws in this pocket black running shorts I've worn these shorts for four years and I found I would have put them in here because I would have been like I won't lose them in here because the pocket has a zip irony two screws they never went home the clue

flathead yeah flathead brass anyway you know we've all got stuff going on we certainly do no one more so than our guests for this episode podcast in a a tree, guest on the ground. It's our pleasure to welcome to quite this quite complex root system Abbey Howells Hi Abbey Hi, wonderful to be here in the tree. It's so great to see you here. It's honestly so nice to see you. Lovely to see you too. How's your day going? It's good. God I'm not in the tree though. Are you? You kind of are. I'm really good at climbing. Are you actually?

It's important that the guest is on the ground. It's a big part of the segment. And for what it's worth, as far as guests go, you are the most in the tree of anyone we've ever had. This is almost into philosophical if a tree falls in the wood territory of if you're in the tree,

on the tree, in the wood territory of if you're in the tree yeah on the tree yeah with the tree yeah how would you what do you feel do you think you're in the tree yeah i feel like i'm on the tree yeah yeah but uh when i was a little kid my um my mom's friends said i i don't want to take her to the park anymore because she climbs too much and too high and freaks me out. I've had it. I've had it with it. That's amazing. Yeah, she's like she's too stressful for me. How old were you when you got too good at climbing trees?

I reckon like seven, eight. Hell yeah. Do you remember getting up a tree you couldn't get down? Um, I mean I guess you can get down any tree. If you fall yeah didn't injure myself that bad though but you didn't even get yourself stuck you remember the feeling of being up there

being like oh no well I never experienced it that's how good I am at climbing you could always get down yeah the answer could easily be no like you're just a stone cold tree climbing legend I'm a ledge it never comes up hell yeah well i this is yeah can i ask you a follow-up question

yeah you can do you have a fear of heights at all no no true and never have neither what about yourselves a little bit yeah and i don't think i did always but then i went on a scary theme park ride in australia and i actually think it gave me a little fear of fire. Was it drone drop? It wasn't, it was like an octopus thing, it like picks you, it straps you in like you're on a roller coaster so it just takes your, so your legs are dangling. Yeah. And it's like two people to an arm, octopus arm, and then it just like fires you at the ground and puts you up at the last second so you think you're gonna hit the it was that the Royal Easter show as well so it's all kind of run by pretty questionable ride operators. Yeah those carny rides they hit different and because me and my mate were both like 20 at the time so we're like fully

grown adults and he's a reasonably big dude he's tall he's like he fully thought his legs were gonna get cut off in the middle of the ride. I went on one at the Adelaide Fringe, I went on a ride, it's like, you know the one that you go up and you go upside down and it holds you there for a while and you go, oh, and you go, whoa, like that. I thought it looked so good, and I went on it, and it was quite late, and actually, do you know, before I went on it it there were two women on it who were quite drunk and i saw one of them while they were suspended at the door and then the other one started screaming oh my god and even then i was like i want to go on it so i waited for them to clean it up oh my god and i got on it and of course it was like a a super unsafe carnival version and like the there wasn't much padding on the shoulders and there was a lot of give between like the shoulder and the padding but like and it went for ages you get to the top

and then your shoulders go and go crunch into this like it would hurt yeah it hurt real bad it was a terrible experience i went on one, it was at DisneySea, and it was like one of those ones that goes... I love that feeling. Oh, what is that, like a flume? Yeah, oh, it's like a... A Tower of Terror type thing. Like a Tower of Terror type thing.

And I was like, oh, I'm a bit scared to go on this, I don't know. But then I saw a very, very small boy lining up in front of me and i thought well be brave like the boy you know and were you brave like the boy the boy was brave yeah i was brave like the boy yeah never saw the boy again so we might have died oh my god unconfirmed whether the boy survived you might have uh invented the boy to to steal yourself to do this thing like a spirit that appears, a very small buoy. Mountaineers have that.

When they're climbing solo and they have this sense that someone's with them. You had that but for the Tower of Terror. Yeah, so a little buoy going. Yeah, come on Abbey. I like heights a lot. You love them. I like the feeling of being up high. So the spectrum is me, Abbey in the middle, normal response to heights and you actually thirst them.

I think the most pure adrenaline kick I've felt was in, I think it's called Angel's Landing at Zion National Park in Utah. So with my friend Ken, we'd been driving across America. We got to, andanes is sort of it's a it's a hike anyone can do in the day but it's like especially by American standards where there's usually so you know anything that poses any risk and would someone would have to assume responsibility for is so closed off but it was like open faces is just like a chain drilled in you know from here to here against a rock face that you're holding on to while you're going up and you get to the top and it's like but you're walking on you know there's narrow passages with just fall on either side they're like this narrow holy shit and it was just

listening guys indicated with the sands i'm thinking half a meter it's uh it was and i've just felt so exhilarated and my friend ken said do you know, I've been best friends with for a long time He said you know, that's the most excited I've ever seen you And we got to the very top and a condor Huge bird. Yeah flew it was circling us Like we were prey Wow, I got a question. What about the opposite in the ground underneath the ground Oh subterranean. Yeah

Feel a lot safer. You prefer it to up high? I don't like it. I don't love either. Yeah I don't think I like it down there. You know where I like it Ebby? Yeah. It's a ground level. Right here on the earth quite. Yeah exactly. The mental. I don't think I like it Under there. It's not good under there. I don't like it under there. What about like a bunker that's nicely furnished? I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't trust it. I don't trust being in the ground.

What do you think is going to happen when you're underground? I mean, it's like collapse, right? Like, my granddad was a coal miner. And he went down the mines at 14. That's young. Yeah, that's young. And this isn't great, great, great. No, 14. That's young. Yeah, that's young. And this is your grand... This isn't great, great, great.

No, this is my granddad. Yeah. And sometimes I think about my own life and I'm like, look at me. What am I doing? He was in the mines. For 20 years at this point.

Yeah, the only time he was out of the mines was to fight in World War II. And then he was straight back in the mines again. Abby, you've had a lot of success, and rightly so, but I am now remembering some of the onstage antics you've performed, and it is funny to contrast that against what your forebears were up to at your age. That's what he was fighting for. Yeah, exactly.

Your right to read a teenage journal. That's what he was fighting for. Yeah, exactly. Your right to read a teenage journal. My right to talk about my period on stage. He didn't know he was fighting for that, but he was. No, he knew he was. Yeah, he was a little guy, 5'2", but big hands. Was he a minor in New Zealand?

In Wales. In Wales. Oh, that's right, I forgot. I did know that you were Welsh. Yeah. How do you know I had big hands? Because everybody said so. Family law. Yeah, yeah. Big hands.

Little guy, big hands. Um, walked in the mines. But yeah, I don't like it. I think I heard about all these horrific like accidents of cave-ins and... Yeah, yeah. It's not good in there. You got no control. I feel like you got control in the sky.

You do have control. I think we never have control anywhere. Even on the ground. But nothing's gonna fall onto you in the sky. It's kind of like what they say about a plane crash. You know, like the plane falling, there's nothing to worry about. It's when it hits the ground that you're in trouble. When you're in the sky, nothing's going to fall onto you in the sky. Yeah. But underground, everything, everything could fall on top of you. Yeah, everything could fall on you. Not if you're underground with a roof. Depends on the roof though, doesn the sky. Yeah. But underground, everything, everything could fall on top of you. Yeah, everything could fall on you. Not if you're underground with a roof.

Depends on the roof though, doesn't it? Yeah. What else do you know about your family, AB? Um... Like your, you know, your forebears. Well, mostly Welsh, a lot of miners, a lot of farmers, not that... Rural miners at some point. Rural miners at some point, yeah. Yeah, until we're like, what?

16? Yeah. Yeah, my granddad, my other granddad was a math teacher. Hey. In World War II, he um, worked on missiles. So like, the... Pretty cool! Question mark. The mess of the missiles. They made a movie about him recently.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's nominated for an Oscar. Yeah, that. I think it's nominated for an Oscar. Yeah, that was a cool guy. Love him. I don't know, did you meet your grandparents? I didn't meet them, oh I met mine when I was a little baby. I met the other three. Did you meet yours? I don't remember meeting my granddads, but I met both my grannies. And they were cool. They were good to go.

Yeah. Then they're all gone cool. Yeah? They were good to go. Yeah? Yeah. Cool. Then they're all gone now. Yeah, I was. Yeah. And we too will go. At some point. Yes. And maybe this tree, but maybe not. We don't know. What do you know about trees? I gotta say, not a huge a lot.

Trees is not a particular interest of mine. My knowledge is either I know everything about it or nothing to the extent you wonder, did I even attend school? Did I have what? What are some of your specialist knowledge topics? Oh my gosh, the other day. I can name a couple.

Yeah, the Titanic. The RMS Titanic. The Titanic, probably the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber from 1980 to 1985. Probably the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber from 1980 to 1985. I have to say, as an insert on that, in this complex web of roots, when we recorded a season of My Week with Cats, when Tim and I went to the movies to watch Cats every day for a week, we recorded one of the episodes in this very,

I think we were in the roots over on that side of this very tree. No way. Just in the other bit of it, but this was the tree. I listened to that. I listened to that. You would have heard us in the tree. Wow, and I was just a gleam in your eye. You didn't even know me. Exactly. No, we hadn't even met. We hadn't even met yet.

Were you a Cats fan? Huge. Huge. The musical and then the movie? Not the movie. I was like so excited for the movie because I was like, finally, everyone rags on Cats all the time and says that it's lame and it's not no and then finally people see the cat is hot sexy sensual musical theater play yeah oh no and then they released that and you were like oh no not again it's cool you've made it worse you've made it worse you've made it harder yeah everyone dunked on it anyway now they're dunking on it even more could have shown that it was cool to mcguire on You've made it worse! You've made it worse! You've made it harder!

Everyone dunked on it anyway, now they're dunking on it even more! Could've shown that it was cool! Tim and Guy are on the air! God damn! Have you rewatched it? The movie? I've only seen it once and I wasn't... I wanna watch it again. It is a mess.

It's so fascinating. And it burrows so into our brain. It's a fascinating mess. Part of it is the fact that you probably wouldn't have the same experience because you knew the musical so well. I didn't know the cats, the music from Cats very well. The classics, memories. Of course. That's the end of the list.

Yeah, that's not what everybody knows. What's your favourite Cats song? I had never heard Skimbleshanks before and it lit me on fire. That's an electric song, electric moment in the musical. And it's just like, I think it's just theatre is more exciting than movie too. Because in the theatre they all get like a little wheel and they create a train through the magic of theatre. That's fun!

That's electric fun! That was actually one of the parts of the movie when they were struggling with perspective the most. They got real little when they were on the train tracks. They were real big inside the train station. Yeah, yeah. And then you started to scale up to what size the cats must have been. It was like, oh sorry, the rats.

It was like everything is very... Everything is moving. It felt like your shirt. Yeah, I think Tom Hooper didn't get what cats is which is it's stupid. Oh he kind of got it. He was like I've got to take this seriously it's going to be realistic. No it's stupid. Yeah. It's stupid it's hot people dancing as cats. Yeah. And they do real good dancing that us normies could never do in our lives. That's right. We want to see it They've got unattainable

Figures like professional dancers doing unbelievable moves. They can do stuff with their legs It's like I didn't even know you could do that and all of them can do it This is very sexually confusing why you head to toe dressed as a cat. I think Brinley said that she heard a sexual awakening to cats Yeah, and we had it for the exact same character. Who? Monksu Strip. Oh. Yeah. Oh she likes Skimble maybe but we both, I like Monksu Strip. He was like

the second in command which I always find attractive as a character. Two aces a little bit of me, thank you very much. Yeah. Is that all true as an adult? Yes I watched Master and Commander for the first time the other night. Because I hate to see, but I also love to see stories about it. And I'd never seen it. And then the second in command to the captain, to Russell Crowe, I was like, what a compelling

figure he is. He's not into it that much, but I was like, he's my favourite. You were drawn to him. I was drawn to him, yeah. Second, like the sort of second leads in films are always a bit easy too, because you can project more onto them when they've got their screen time. They pop up, they crush it, they disappear, you're like, I'll bet they're doing the coolest version in my head when you're off screen. And there's either two versions, there's like the really helpful one that, and at the end

they say, you're the captain now, you know now you know yeah wow or they're the one that's like here's my most trusted advisor and it's like oh yes sire as there was evil looking person if you're like they said i've got your best interest sir i've listened to you feels very dickens yeah yeah yeah very nefar was Master and Commander? I've heard that's like one of the great movies. Honestly, I loved it. Strong recommend from me Master Commander Does our mutual friend Finn, is he the one who watches it heaps? It's his favorite movie. Yeah, I've talked to him about it Is that why you watched it? I wanted to watch it because I'm compelled by the sea but yeah The sea calls to you, eh?

It does. Because you almost drowned when you were a kid. It almost claimed me. Yeah. And now it's always wanted you back. It had a taste. And it's always wanted you back. Me watching the movies as I was keeping my eye on it.

Seeing what it's up to. Well, we've got a segment now. Yeah, yeah. A segment in this podcast. What do you want to do? There's options. We've got drugs in a tree. Drugs in a tree. You want to do drugs? It's time for drugs in a tree. Today's drugs

a paracetamol. Oh Beautiful. I know yeah. Lovely for what ails you. And actually yeah, does anything ail either of you guys right now? I wouldn't mind a paracetamol. You want one or two? Two please. Do you want to try a paracetamol? Yeah, I'll go on. I'll have a paracetamol you want one or two two please you want to try paracetamol yeah this would be like no this would be the nastiest things to try and swallow dry do you i don't know like i suppose i feel this way with coffee as well where i think i don't actually know if this is um doing anything to me that's why I feel like painkillers yeah yeah are they actually doing anything no no paracetamol I think it's up for grabs thank you just one just a hoon on one and would you like a sip from the shared bottle I'm sorry it's not the most

hygienic podcast you go first Debbie thank you I think paracetamol you know it's pretty it must do something because everyone's buying it and using it I think maybeacetamol, you know, it's pretty... It must do something because everyone's buying it and using it. I think maybe if you are in a lot of pain, you know, it would take the edge off. I'm never in that much pain. I am infrequently in very much pain. What's the most pain you've ever been in physically? Great question.

Do you know, I haven't broken a bone before. Oh, I chopped off this finger when I was five. Which one? Middle. Can you see it's got a toe finger. Yeah, I got a finger a bit like that too. Yeah, you know, it's a long time ago now, 30 years even, but I'm gonna say that's probably still to this day. The body keeps the score.

Yeah, the most pain I've been in. True, that sucks that it happened when you were five. The most painful thing happened when you were a vulnerable little kid. And I remember at school assembly, I had a big mitt on, because they sewed it back on and they put a big mitt on it, and at school assembly I had to stand at the front. Like, you know, they're kind of trying to do it to look after you, but also they're obviously calling attention to it.

And they're like, there's an imaginary circle around Guy that no one can cross and I remember being so feeling I'm ostracized on the move I remember feeling sort of um grateful and also kind of shamed yeah no no no you're a very generous guest no one else is concerned with uh little bags of things yeah what's the most pain you think you've ever been in, Abby? I'm not sure. I feel like there's an obvious one I'm missing, but just because of today. Recently, I've been attacked by mosquitoes a lot.

We can inform the life. Attacked? Yeah. I don't like them. Why were they attacking you? I have, apparently, they think you have sweet blood if you eat a lot of sugar, which I do And so I'm one of those people that always gets mosquito bites

Once when we were traveling I was like 11, I think I got so many on my legs It looked like stun burn. It was like oh my god entirely all the way up my all the way up my legs Yeah, and no one got any. That is nasty. It was, yeah. Do you think maybe you were like the sacrificial lamb and no one got any? Because you were just, if any was in proximity, they were like, hold the door.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was you. Attack me, friends. I have the sweet blood you crave. You're a mosquito tank. Yeah, yeah. I want you in my party if I'm going through, like, on a hike or something. Yeah, that wasn't maybe, like, the most pain, but it was definitely was definitely the most like just the worst feeling. Irritable. Yeah. Yeah

I hate mosquito bites. I hate itchy. Hate it. Why do they gotta itch? I know. Take my blood if you must. Leave the mug. Yeah, exactly. It's the stuff that's numbing you so you can't feel it when they penetrate your skin. That's the thing that itches. They got me on my hands and on my face and I was like that's just I can see you got a nasty one on your finger there on your pointer yeah that looks like a big wealthy one ungentlemanly you know that's not the rules of engagement not the hands in the face yeah yeah what about you Tim I like the thing that came to mind I've still got a little scar from it I reckon it happened when I was about nine. It wasn't necessarily super painful but it was quite shocking. I like, we were in tennis practice, you know like as a school, and I went to get my racket, it was leaning against the chain link fence and there was just a bit of wire that was sticking out.

Oh no. And I went full force in and like literally embedded my finger into it. No. Like I couldn't get my, as a grown up had to like go, bleurgh. I did the same thing with this, you can see the scar on that finger there Oh I ripped it open on a pointy bit of wire I was getting a soccer ball off the top of a hockey net and like pulled myself up like that And then was hanging off and let go and it got caught and then I remember it was at lunchtime

It was flapping. I remember the flapping is what I remember. Oh, wait. And I went to the, I don't know if we had a nurse, I went to the office or whatever and the woman was like, and she was like, nope. Man, working in a school would suck for that. Kids are just constantly, not constantly, but every now and then just presenting with a real full-on injury and you've got nothing you've got nothing for it there's no one on hand I gotta say that we've been pretty fortunate in our lives these are all very minor injuries in the scale of how badly I've been concussed yeah I got concussed but that was when did you get concussed during a stage

fighting workshop at high school it is embarrassing very embarrassing. It is embarrassing and also frustrating because it would suggest that you were bad at the thing you were doing. I got kicked in the head and then I was like, I'm fine. And then I went to my next class and I tried to ask a question like, where's the test going to be? And it came out like, shmash, shmash. And then the teacher was like, what are you saying? And I was like, I'm sick.

And then it just came out as gibberish. And he's like, this is not right. And he's doing another one of her wacky characters. This is not right. This is not right. And then I think I just, then it just like, I feel bad. And then I go, something's going on here, I think. And you were, you were massively concussed.

I was concussed, yeah. Was that stage workshop with the famous, was his name Tony Wolfe? No, it was just with our drama teacher who I think on reflection was not officially trained. Not sanctioned. Technically meant to be giving out these lessons. Yeah, I think she was kind of like just go off into a corner and kind of have a wee. Have a shadow box, kids. It'll be sweet.

When did you get concussed? I got concussed playing rugby on the day of a school, like a semi-formal or whatever. I remember drinking beers that night and feeling invincible. Yeah I'll bet. But not being invincible. No. Yeah, concussion, that will, the unique confluence of booze and a concussion will bring you to the point of feeling the opposite of how vulnerable you are. Yeah, yeah.

So good, though. I cracked my head open a bunch when I was a kid. Keep doing it. Oh, yeah? You were one of those kids? Yeah. One of those kids. Yeah.

Do you want to glue my scalp back to you there? Anyway, it's time for another segment. Yeah. Abby, this segment is called A Little Something For You. Oh, lovely. We've got a gift for all of our guests. Beautiful. One per episode. This looks fragile. I don't even know what this a gift for all of our guests. Beautiful. One per episode.

This looks fragile. I don't even know what this is. Yeah I can catch. Wow lovely. And you can throw brother. I am most most most grateful. Oh crap I might have left the tag on the bottom. You can ignore that. Tell us how much it cost. I can see. Yeah. It was $24.95. Not nothing. Not nothing actually. Oh, beautiful crystal. It's amethyst. Amethyst. I don't know a lot about crystals. Do you guys? I can't remember what amethyst is about.

Can't remember either, but I love it. It's all like, you know, good fortune and health and whatnot. I love it. Thank you. I actually have some crystals. Do you? I don't believe in them, but I think they're beautiful, shiny, you know? Right. Some people think they're just believe in them but I think they're beautiful, shiny. Some people think they're just beautiful and then some people think they have power. Yeah, yeah. Is that right? Yeah, that this would like bring you clarity or... But I'm in the middle where I'm like, it brings you power if you think it does. And it being beautiful really helps with that belief. Yeah, I love it. I love this. I've got

a little mini bookcase that I put interesting trinkets in. Oh, neat. So I think this will fit lovely. That is not a surprise to me. Yeah, yeah. What else is on that trinket shelf? Some more crystals. Sorry?

Some more crystals. Oh, yes. Do you know what you have? I got a quartz and another one that's white. And I got a little, when I was in Japan I got a tiny tiny saucepan oh that's satisfying I love this tiny shit Amy Sedaris is like house to her or her and she's got stuff from Japan where she's just like, and this is this? Yeah! And then puts it back down.

Yeah. A little bit like that. A little bit, yeah. I like little bits and pieces. Yeah. Yeah. Is there, I was trying to pitch to my wife that this was like a legit sort of, you know, art style you could have on the house.

And I just don't know anything about interior design so I don't know how to explain it. I'm excited to hear this. But you know how there's like minimalism, so everything's, you know, clean lines. You want maximalism. Exactly. That's how I was describing it. I was like, it's like maximal, maximalist. Is that it? I guess, yeah.

Just like, there's a way to do it tastefully, but like a bunch of shit in an area. You know how people have those walls that have photo frames of all different sizes, but it basically creates a whole mesh of the wall. I like a wall like that. I like that. I've been in both of your houses and I've got to say, both of them, beautiful. I wasn't there when you were there for most of it. Yeah, it's kind of weird.

Abby housed that. Yeah. Co-housed that for me, which I deeply appreciate. You looked after my beautiful dog. Yeah. And I would both describe both of your houses as beautiful and tastefully decorated. Wow. How much of that's coming from you folks?

None from me. I like to think some. I certainly don't think about it as much. Yeah. But I have input, but it's mostly Chelsea. Yeah, yeah. Nah, it's all Zoe at mine. And hasn't she done an amazing job? Oh, she's so incredible. I feel like a real benefactor living in that house.

I'm like this is magnificent. I just need to wake up, swan around. I think when I came in and picked you up there yesterday, I was sat in a chair while you were doing a job and I thought this is good. She's got great taste. Yeah, yeah. Really good taste.

And I just grumble when she brings something new in because something's changed. And then the next day I'm like, that looks awesome. It's a good system. Long may it run. And along those gender lines too, I think it's important. I think it is important. Yeah. Yeah.

How gender typical do you think your relationship is, Abby? With your beau? Um, they're not the most gender typical, I think. I don't cook and he cooks. Do you not cook at all? I do cook. I just have huge anxiety about it I can eat. I'm actually quite a good cook but the prospect of cooking for someone fills me with like such anxiety and it feels so vulnerable to me to cook for someone

It's funny. It's similar to what Courtney was saying in a different tree on a different day what Courtney was saying in a different tree on a different day. It has to be all like sectioned off and not you know not a pleasurable part of the experience. Yeah yeah I feel nervous about it. I'm fine he does majority of the cooking I'm more like organized as well. I drive he can't drive there's like a few things. Yeah yeah. But in the terms of the, I think that's gonna be me. Yeah? Yeah. You've got quite distinctive, like you've got a real honed style.

Yeah, I like the way, you know, I like my little bits and pieces. Yeah. Yeah. You've got great style. Thank you. Every time I, yeah, whenever you're on something it's like, you pop. Thank you. And it's a great look.

Thank you. It's really good. It's a great hat you're wearing right now. Thank you. And I know you pay attention to stuff too because you've got you've to I don't know if I'm blowing up your spot but like you've got friends who have basically help you you know find outfits around the country and stuff eh? That's true yeah I've got a good friend in Dunedin called Crew Love shout out Crew and he helps me come up with outfits for my big performances.

So when I was on Spelling Bee, for example, he came up with that outfit. Yeah, great fit on Spelling Bee. That's cool. Wow. So what do you make of my current stays? I like it. I'm a big fan of anyone. I think people look best in clothes that they love and they really like, you know? Yeah.

And I'm never going to knock anyone that has a style. And I like it. The most... Diplomatic. The most... Dane-ed place. I like it. I like it, Tim, because it's a really loud shirt. It's a really loud shirt. But you were like, you know what? It's not even a compliment. No. Not let it finish. I like it. I like it, because Tim said, I like this and I want to wear this today.

It's a nice compliment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take that. Do you like dressing yourself? Yeah I do. Yeah and part of the reason I'm wearing this today is that like when, what occasion am I going to have to, we've got a lot of hubbub happening around us. We've, I mean it's and for good reason I guess. This is a very attractive very well placed tree it's next to quite a um sort of vehicular thoroughfare our ambiance guy has just created a real yeah scene for you guys a real audio skate shout out to brian eno but there is literally outside of doing a podcast in a tree when else am i going to wear this shirt in my life to a party where everyone is taking drugs at a

guess. I guess that is pretty much it. I dress the same all the time and the only time I dress different is when I do spelling bee I think. I think you both are having good style though. Oh thank you. You're very thoughtful. No it's true. No I like I reckon. I would like to step my game up which I've been threatening for years I want to just like hard from fast and furious. Yeah If I was to dress like it was a party. It's like come dressed as Tim Yeah, I would wear it. Yep. I would wear sneakers. Sure. I would wear Jeans that are like slim cut and a darker wash. I would wear a t-shirt with a shirt over the

top yeah maybe a necklace yeah I do I very rarely take this off yeah you would be dressed as Tim and that's Tim that's me if I was to dress as Guy I would wear I would wear pants that are maybe like if I was like this is distinctively guy I wear pants that are like a sort of burnt orange pants. I'd wear a shirt that was like a beige. What teach through the pants? This is performance guy. Okay. Well I know guys has cords yeah but maybe like a sort of a nice fabric. Yeah nice fabric yeah. So not cords. Why not? Nothing wrong with a nice fabric you know and then i would wear like maybe sort of a a nice sort of beige um beige shirt and i'd wear a blue

sort of loose top yeah over the top and i'd wear a hat that said something like um i came here to fuck fish yeah the wife's at home but I'm outdoors or something like that it's like yeah where did he even get that? My other gun is the house you gave me we were part of Snort the improv group which finished after 10 years

at our Christmas party Secret Santa everyone puts in and there was one t-shirt in the middle that said, of course I'm good at sex, I do improv. And then on the back, across the shoulders, it had a hashtag that said, yes and. And I saw it and I thought, I must have this t-shirt.

And who do you think designed and put the t-shirt into the Secret sander? And Guy was my muse. Yeah, and Guy defended me as well because I really what there's a 1500 piece puzzle in there and everyone kept taking it and then whenever I got it Guy said do not take the puzzle from the autistic person. And I think that really meant that no one took the puzzle. We look out for each other. What a beautiful friendship.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's time for another one of our incredible segments. Wow. What do you think's in here, Tim? Here's the history of how this has gone previously, Abi. At this point in the show, episode one, I'm a croissant. Episode two, I'm a croissant. Episode three, I'm a croissant.

Episode four, I'm a croissant. Episode five, what do you think's going to happen? Armour Croissant, episode 2 Armour Croissant, episode 3 Armour Croissant, episode 4 Armour Croissant, episode 5 What do you think's gonna happen? I reckon he's gonna mix it up Yeah, this is sixth. Last episode he pulled out a fucking donut croissant, a cronut thing It was awesome. I was shocked. Yeah. Now I think he's getting back in the pool. Yeah, I think he's back in almond croissant. That's an almond croissant guys. I fucking knew it. You're welcome. Yeah. I've never met someone so ungrateful to be fed quite a lot of almond croissants. From a variety of Auckland's best patisseries.

Have you ever known a person to be fed so much almond croissant? Do you want some almond croissant, Abby? I'll go on then, thank you. Is that called the horn of the croissant? Because if it's not, it should be. I have no idea how long this episode is. Do you? Oh, we've been talking a while.

Okay. This is something to keep track of. Mainly for our gorgeous crew, which is Ian. I keep wanting to obfuscate the fact that like we've got some multi you know person crew it's Ian, Ian's just awesome lovely croissant is there anything to this segment or is it we can discuss the croissant nah I don't want to I just like it that works too yeah my review is lovely I think it's a fantastic I give this 4 out of 5. Yeah.

I'd buy it again. Actually giving all the other ones a run for their money, maybe the best one. I agree. You've ended on a real high. When it comes to almond croissants in a tree. Um, are you excited for the year, Abi? Yeah. Got a new attitude. Do you? 2024. What's your attitude. Do you? 2024.

What's your attitude this year? What was the old attitude? The old attitude was like, oh I'm sorry for being alive. You had a bad attitude last year man. And now? It's like yeah, I'm in the world, get used to it. It's like you're welcome. You're welcome.

Yeah, trying to be more confident. Trying to be more confident. Yeah, that's my 2024. It's like, I live my life in my own way. Hell yeah. That's beautiful. I think you were doing that already. Thank you.

Yeah. But apologetically. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I live my life in my own way if that's okay with everybody. Yeah, if that's okay with you, it's not bothering anyone. I think both you and Robbie, if you get normal performers confidence, you're gonna be absolutely unstoppable. Scary levels of what the two of you can achieve. Of being sufferable. Individually and together, I would say. It's terrifying. That's why I

have to every now and then get you to come over to my house and just just monitor see where things are at. Check in on it. Yeah Wow. How do you reckon looking for you folks? It's gonna be a good year. I think. Yeah Tremendous. Personally. Personally, yeah. Globally. Globally dog shit. Not even looking at it to be honest you shouldn't try and avoid that think locally, think so locally that you're not even aware of anything

outside of the neighbourhood for a little while yeah I'm doing okay, I saw a little tooey out my window this morning more of that and also world, you're welcome yeah and also world you're welcome for me saying it yeah um yeah you're welcome those are the attitudes we want to bring to 2024

yeah should we reflect upon our tree before we say goodbye what do you guys think climability through the roof yeah five. Five out of five. Uh-huh. Natural beauty. Got to be five. Five out of five. It also has a lot of X factor. It's a perfect tree from me. Five out of five across the board. Co-signed by Guy Montgomery.

No notes. What do you think? I love it. It has what I like in a tree, which is the quality that it could have a face on it that comes out You know, it has a mythic type quality to it Do you like it in Lord of the Rings when the trees could all walk and talk? That's my favorite bit! Yeah, I love it when the trees come out. Yeah, that's wonderful to see

You could really feel this tree going on some beaches, eh? Yeah This is what it feels like if you are riding the tree Yeah Yeah Striding along What what it feels like if you are riding the tree. Yeah. Yeah. Striding along. What if it was like, Hey boys, I heard you like theme park.

But Abby, we must boil down your assessment of this tree to some numerical values. Oh yes. You can choose the criteria. I think mythic ability. It's giving a 5 out of 5 for me. Do I want to look at this tree out of a window? Absolutely, 5 out of 5. Wow. And do I want to climb to the top and could I climb to the top? Easy, 5 out of 5. Wow. I think it's the only time I've heard a tree being reviewed on the scale of loveliness.

Quite nice. Yeah, and I really like it. Yeah, you'd want to look out, but if you had a little house and you're looking at this tree out the window, you'd... I want you to really point to the tree you would least want to see out your window that's in, like, eye line of us. Not this one.

Not these ones. You don't like them? I don't care for them. Low mythic ability. Yeah, not a lot going on. No mana. No shade, no disrespect. All good, all good.

This is the personal taste of them. Abby Howells, thank you so much for joining us for this final episode of Podcasting a Tree. I hope you enjoy your amethyst. I will, I genuinely will. Thank you. Is that, this will probably come out in... Special guest of the bus joining us. In what, a while? Oh yeah, thank you. Is that, this will probably come out in um... Special guest of the bus joining us.

In what, a while? Oh yeah, this year. This year. It'll be out before Comedy Fest. Yes, I'm going to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with my show La Soup Co. I'm there the whole month so please come along and see me. The show won the director's award. What?

It won the Billy T. Oh it won the Billy T, sorry. Even better. In New Zealand, yeah. Yeah, so you know it's good. Because awards mean everything. Well it's the only way to gauge whether or not something's any good. Yeah, yeah. Imagine how trashed that brilliant show would have been if you hadn't won an award.

I know, it would be dog shit, yeah. All that trashed that brilliant show would have been if you hadn't won an award. I know. It would be dog shit. Yeah. All that time I put into it. It would be worthless. Worthless. So yeah, that would be my thing to plug. Hell yeah. I'm going to be there.

Yeah, you're going to be there. I think it's an amazing show. Thank you, Guy. I'm excited to see your show and maybe hang out as well. As friends. As friends, yeah. Anything's possible that's a hard maybe he's giving you an opportunity to bring 2024 energy to the situation yeah that's

true you gotta meet guy i would be so lucky i would yeah yeah all right all right well everybody get out there and i encourage you to climb some trees if you can. Yeah. Maybe that's what everyone should try and do in 2024. Just like climb one tree. Yeah I'm sure this is what we said at the end of the last season. It might have been but it was good advice then and it's better advice now. Yeah. Climb one tree this year.

Yeah I'm trying to think of something but I don't have anything.