The Worst Idea Of All Time - Pop Pop’s Porn-laden iPad

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

They say the fourth time is the charm, and that has never been truer than today’s episode of And Just Like That, Apples To Apples. MPK (or whoever’s writing these darn things) seems to have finally gotten their rhythm and discovered the secret to good storytelling; Sideline Carrie Bradshaw. The complex family Aiden situation takes centerstage, as does Bob, a character who undoubtedly should’ve been played by Will Forte. Miranda and Joy continue their charged romantic relationship laid atop a confusing work relationship that Tim still cannot get his head around. Lisa Todd Wexley, in a highly relatable turn, has accidentally hired a hot male editor but REFUSES to have a sex dream about him, much to the disappointment of your podcast hosts. Then there’s Seema - the genius who impressed professional writer Carrie with the name of her new real estate company, The Patel Group. Long live Harry, Long live Brady the Rat King - long live the boiz.Join us at twioat.substack.com to support the show and to cop a load of Guy's headwear Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everybody and welcome to episode number four of season three of In Just Like That. Apples to apples, dust to dust. Is that what it's called? It's just called Apples to Apples. Oh, okay. Oh, because that's the game they're playing. Your name is Timbatt. My name is Guy Montgomery. We are keeping company with five of New York City's finest,

plus all of the accoutrements that come with the rich tapestry of a life shared with others. Associated players. Associated players today. Guy, we both commented on this towards the end of a rollicking episode that was just on the trot the entire time, flew by. What an experience. It's like we're watching the show in real time figure out how to write a TV show. The trajectory is upward and it is, can I say this to camera one? Appreciate it. Yeah, it's upward and it's onward. I thought that was a cracking episode. I think they certainly what they do and they do love to do this is they love to

pick up all Michael Patrick King. He loves to pick up all of his dollies. Yeah. And he likes to have a look at what's happening for them and underneath them. Okay. We know when we go to playtime with Michael Patrick, that that's going to be part of the playtime. What I didn't realise he was going to do with his dollies this week is actually successfully put some of them down and just fucking lock in on some of them.

There was character development. There was, I mean, you know, at the end of the episode, without wanting to give away too much up top, there was what I would describe as probably the most exceptional instance in my experience of Carrie Bradshaw showing empathy, understanding, personal growth and ability to listen and ability to put the needs of others before her own.

Carrie Bradshaw personal growth are not four words that we've seen together in this entire galaxy of sex in the city so far. It was incredible. I mean, he made the very sensible decision of placing or whoever wrote it. I'm sorry, I keep crediting Mattress Pike, but I know he was, I know he was up top, but this could have been anyone.

They did the very clever thing of placing Carrie and Aidan, hypothetically, the drivers of the season. Hey, now check this out. You know how Carrie is the lead? And you know how the show is about relationships? And so you would think that her relationship of the lead character would be the front and center thing that we're following. It took until episode four for us to have her and her mate in the same fucking room.

It was so well and they weren't even in a room. They were basically outside in Virginia the whole time. But it was so satisfying. It was not working. Painting anguish, which was basically built on the built on the bedrock of poor communication. Carrie got boots on the ground, hands-on experience on why Ada needs to be in Virginia and I'll tell you this, we all did. I don't want to handle this show with kitty gloves too much so before we get too fucking slobbery on the day of in just like that, season three

episode four I want to ask you a question. The feeling of elation that we're currently experiencing. Is it like we've put ourselves in jail for an amount of time and now we've moved into a one-star hotel room. Look, I think the show does this very clever thing of mapping the relationship of the audience onto the sort of tumultuous relationships that we are watching. So I think that we experienced the same sort of toxic undulating highs and lows that we witnessed the characters having in their relationships

because they can't function with basic adult communication. So I think, you know, undeniably, it feels great this week because I think they strung together a successful episode. Right. And yes, part of why the elation feels so pure is because we are measuring it against, you know, previous less successful instances of that.

But I think that- You think this is a real show? I think this is a baby giraffe. I think it's come out of the womb and it's got to run away from lions. We're seeing a little foal? I don't know what a baby giraffe is called. I don't even know where that analogy came from.

On its spinly little legs taking its first steps into the world. Do you know what I think the secret ingredient was of this episode? Get Carrie fucking out of there. It's kind of like... Get her out of New York. No, no, no, no, no. Get her out of the show. It's kind of like... Get her out of New York. It's the... No, no, no, no, no. Get her out of the show. It's like... So you got to treat Carrie Bradshaw in the show like the sun.

Everything orbits around the sun. And we are fascinated by Neptune and Saturn and Earth and Mars and all the many moons that surround those planets. Don't look at the sun. You'll ruin your eyes. If we spend too much time paying attention to Carrie Bradshaw the show doesn't fucking work she's awful but in this episode she's barely in it except right at the end to reflect

on the fact that she's been shit in the last three episodes and it's fantastic I don't know that she's barely she's not not a big feature. All these people are orbiting around her. Yeah, yeah. She's not like... She's present, but she's not centred or centering herself as much as we are used to. Which is insane, because if there is one character trait you can attribute to... See, right now she's the sun, but previously, right up until this point, a black hole. Like everything has to come into her and be absolutely destroyed once it gets into her orbit

but finally she's found a way to sustain herself not as anti-matter but as matter that things can circle around which basically involves considering others I can't tell you how proud I am of this metaphor I've made up. Yeah it's quite beautiful I think it's the reverse of a collapsing star. We're too deep in space. I had I had antimatter just I look I just think it was a it was a great it was a great episode let's go through across the board well who first of all there was something you put a bookmark on that you said, I want to tell you this. And you said, I'll say, get Carrie out of there.

The reason this episode's working is because we've got way less Carrie. Cause they also were picking, you know, they have successfully deployed story threads that they've then picked back up, which you don't always trust them to do. even though these are the best artisans, we don't always trust them to do. They also dropped a lot too. Yes, of course. As I mentioned at the end, the fuck's going on with Lisa Todd Wexley? Guess what?

We still have count them eight episodes for them to address these matters. What's happening with Harry's Pistain photo, as we predicted, that did not conclude in this episode. Okay, yep, you can say that. Instead of picking that thread up and going, hey, you know that thing that we tantalizingly teased in the last episode? Instead BAM new character Harry's dad's here. So forget everything you thought we were doing with Harry. They have gone hashtag Harry heavy.

They have heard what the people are saying and they have given us what we want, which is, well, maybe us personally, this might not be everyone's opinion, but they've given us more Harry. So I look at the kitchen Island and the golden blitz house as sort of banter city. I know as soon as I see a wide shot of the family congregated around the kitchen Island, which they seem to do every morning, which is a beautiful sort of, you know, family moment. I know that there's going to be zingers flying left and right. Oh yeah.

And we have introduced some pretty fun details. Rock is rock in the iPad. The entire building has this sort of, it's, I don't even think it's on face. I think it's like a community page. Building link? Is that what it was called? Building link where they can express their needs. There is a woman called Marilyn who is singing out for a spare banana.

She's in 10F. That's all she wants is a woman called Marilyn who is singing out for a spare banana. She's in 10F. That's all she wants is a spare banana. And Harry picks up what looks to me like a perfectly edible sort of banana and he goes this banana is like he keeps thinking about this banana's turned. It's got it's too brown. But that is almost an exclusively yellow banana. Did you feel this way? I thought I was going crazy.

I honestly think I missed the stuff. I think I was adjusting the camera as well. Harry's banana player. He honestly think I missed the stuff. I think I was adjusting the camera as well. Harry's banana play was it. He's looking at a yellow banana. But this makes sense to me because it was just the other day that I was fondly remembering, I think season one of you deep throating a banana. And so it makes sense to me that you would connect

with that material on screen. Banana watch. So there's a banana and there's this woman in Maryland saying she needs a banana. And they go, well, what one you give her that banana? He's going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There are many places to buy bananas yeah we're not giving him he's living about the concept of her getting

this banana that's right and in this instance I sided with the family I thought Harry's being a bit of a hard ass on the banana he's walking around carrying this banana like it's an artifact saying maybe I'll make banana bread and everyone's going well I'd love to see that dad can't wait to see that scenario and then at the end he does throw a pretty nice little, um, how do you make banana? You know, just a classic button for the scene. Okay. The next time we're in the kitchen, it's the next day. The same woman is on the same app saying, I still need a spare banana.

This is when I become team Harry. I think it is unacceptable behavior to one day. Say, Hey, look, if I understand if it's in the morning, you're on the fly You need a spare banana. I got it. You cannot let 24 hours pass Let's show up in the same place asking for a banana again. God bless you guy You're in there you you were you were playing by the rules there and just like that is set. I'm unwilling to engage I'm unwilling to take the bait that they're putting out here of like hey Here's a fun little bit of relatable humor that you could chew over. I don't want to, I don't want to face, I don't want to interface with it on its terms. What do you want to do?

I don't want to talk about if Harry's right or wrong about the banana thing. I want to talk about what's happening with Lisa Todd Wexley. I want to happen. I want to talk about what's happening with the piss photo. What? The piss photo and the banana are connected. I don't want to talk about what the show's doing. I want to talk about what's happening with Lisa Todd Wexley. I want to have it. I want to talk about what's happening with the piss photo. What the piss photo in the banana? I don't want to talk about what the show is doing. I want to talk about what the show is not doing. OK, OK. Fill your boots. Tell me what the show is not doing.

How can you set up so beautifully a great comedy beat of someone taking a photo of Harry after he's pissed his pants because he poured himself into some millennial jeans that he couldn't unbutton in time and then not add a button of the photo coming out. Can I? In the next episode. Can I? I look, I'm with you. And I remember last week I was banging the piss photo drum. Harry was talking about trying to blow up on social media.

He wants a bank of pics to upload. Look, they ramped us right into it. I don't disagree. There is something that they are doing here, which is interesting, I think, in the weekly release, because if we were to binge, if we were to watch these back to back to back to back to back, that would be a deeper source and more common source of frustration, not just amongst you and I, but amongst the broader viewing public. They trust the week long memory labs.

They think that they can use a week of our lives and everything that's happening in our personal lives and in the broader world and think these guys aren't going to remember the piss photo and look, most people won't. They got their 50 50 because here you are still banging on the piss drum. Here I am. My hands are dry. I'm trying to handle a banana. I didn't even remember. This is almost what I'm worried about. And,rum, here I am, my hands are dry. I'm trying to handle a banana. I didn't even remember. This is almost what I'm worried about.

And once again, I say like good on you for getting into the battlefield and like you're there with Carrie and Charlotte and Miranda and Seema and Harry and Lisa Todd Wexley and everybody and Rog and Lily and Lily's boyfriend who's polyamorous, whose name I can't remember I got his name Harry's dad and Aidan and Wyatt and Homer. Yeah go Fucking there was a little bit of mist as well tight tight tighter tighter tighter

How can I forget tight? I've just listed I think 12 people don't forget Did you get they've all got stuff in this did you say Bob? No, don't forget to you get they've all got stuff in this and you say Bob No, don't forget Bob. We've got to figure out some structure here and I've Fuck to tell you see this what happens though. If you don't if you don't grab something and let your right Grateful for these Okay, let's I'm gonna attempt a little bit of chronology. We open on Carrie. She's in the country and the storyline that's playing out here is that Aiden is trying to juggle a lot of family balls. Look, the real story in Aiden's house is Wyatt. Wyatt has been, he's been, Wyatt

is the, Wyatt I believe has been diagnosed with ADHD. He has been prescribed medication. Cathy, Kathy his mum very pro and Then they ran out of meds and then Carrie had to mule some from the big smoke down to Virginia Following a seeded and abandoned storyline about Charlotte potentially getting addicted to Adderall That would have been so good. That would have been a lot of fun. What Carrie didn't know is that Aiden is not team Med my son. Yeah. How old do we think Wyatt is? Well, I'd say 16, 17.

He looks younger. Tate is 21. Home is older. I'd say home is like 18, 19. Yeah, you're right. That's probably the spread. That's roughly, let's call him 15. You just subtracted one. Oh, did you? I thought you said 15, 16, 17 roughly let's call him 15. Well, you just subtracted one.

Oh, did you? I thought you said 15, 16, 17. Okay. So call him 16. He's got braces on it. You some up and he's got a fresh face. He's got beautiful, quite, um, there's a real pinkish hue to his lips. He's got lovely. I thought he was wearing lipstick at the start.

I thought that was going to be part of it, but it wasn't. That's just the hue of his lips. Get a load of this kid's lips. And you know what? Just, yeah, but be to be part of it, but it wasn't. That's just the hue of his lips. Get a load of this kid's lips. And you know what? Just, yeah, but be, be sensible about it. Be cool about it, but take a look at this boy's lips. Don't be weird about it. Don't stare.

But they're pretty nice. He's got, he's got, this guy's got a lot of acting to do. Wyatt. Yeah. Yeah, he does. Cause he's acting up. He's acting up. He is. He... The boy, not the actor. Although the actor, by virtue of circumstance, also has to act up because guess what? The character is acting up. He's got a trope on his back that he's having to embody, which is that of,

I have a step mum that I hate. Carrie and Aidan aren't married. It's not legal. It's so much bigger than just a step mum that I hate. Yeah, Carrie and Aidan aren't married. It's not legal. But it's so much bigger than just a stepmom that he hates. This is a character. This is a boy who was unsettled in himself. Yeah. But I think that's like a classic, I think here's the embodiment of a classic trope. It's just now the DSM five rocks in here with it's that kid's got ADHD. They had ADHD the whole time for the last 200 years. We just didn't have the diagnosis for it. So that has, that admittedly, the new thing is the added complication of the disagreement around the meds. But we saw, no, no, no, because the, in the entire episode, we saw his

frustrations that don't lie just with Carrie, that unravel at every single person in his family. This is just so he feels totally misunderstood. Yeah, that's true. There's a guy who blows up both of his brothers. He blows up at his daddy but they're playing apples to apples this card based guessing game where you say mysterious and then everyone's got these cards and you have to choose which one best suits mysterious and then

Whoever's turn it is they say I think it's this one and then if that's your card I actually thought that was beautifully written So he had Jennifer Lawrence in his his hand and used that because she played Mystique in the X-Men movies and then he goes fucking hog wild that his one wasn't picked as the most straight line between us two. Everyone has the same pop cultural references. That's true. But he ends up smashing a fucking window in the family house. Spoiler alert, that's how we can't end the episode. I thought in the room it played as both for us, like funny, but also it was hefty.

It was amazing. Yeah, it was good. You could feel the tension in the room it was hefty it was good you could feel the tension in the room it was it was good but so I don't think this is purely carry based the way that this boy is behaving I think this is like he's just he's carrying on by the way just while we're talking about carry and puns how about little house on the carry you really enjoy it you write that down you enjoyed that I wanted to say it because I mean, you know, it's a classic.

Carrie throws out a lot of puns. Carrie didn't know she was going to stay in Virginia for so long. She thought she was coming to have dinner with her boyfriend, but instead she's had a multi-night stay. She didn't pack any clothes, so she's had to go to what she calls a sister wife dress shop. That's pretty fucking mean. She's just in a rural part of the country You don't have to throw in see strokes around no

She's in the store when she sees it on the phone to Miranda, but she does very rude She covers the mouth. Yeah, but she gives she she knows that she's being a bit cheeky with God's listening You know what I mean? She's in God's country. I see you Which way did Virginia vote? The right way. That's by the by. Actually, it was a, it was a running three. Cause Kathy-

That's either a capital R or a lowercase R. When, um, you decide. Uh, when Kathy arrives to and sees Kerry wearing one of the dresses from the shop, she knows that she goes there's Daisy's by Gator. So this is obviously, this is a local hotspot. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, she- Maybe it's because I've moved out to the suburbs now.

I'm a city slicker guy. I've lived in the sort of inner suburbs at least of, you know, the major cities of what we all understand, the greatest, most international country on earth, New Zealand, Absolutely. My entire life. We are not, we are not unique. We are the same.

And now that I'm living out in the burbs surrounded by pylons, I feel a difference, an affinity, a need to defend my Virginians. Do you think, you think where you live is Virginia? I was saying it's closer. I, I, it's closer to Virginia than I was before. You've got your backup. I'm not in Graylin anymore, Toto. You've got your backup about Carrie passing judgment on a floral dress shop.

She's in the shop when she sees it. Because you live in the suburbs. So disrespectful. So crazy. I didn't last week walk into, fuck I wish I remember the name of the store, the fantastic secondhand clothing store that's in the industrial zone out here in West Auckland and talk shit about where I am. I went, what a great place for me to buy a dress. But you live here.

Yeah, actually that's true. Carrie's a tourist. That's true. And it's novel to her. I mean, they should be even nicer though, if you're a guest. Look, I mean, I thought, you know, Carrie found some outfits that work for her. Is she picking them out? I apologise.

We're spending far too much time on this because we haven't even discussed what's going on with Miranda. And it is scintillating. Let's not forget that we've got this great banana debate that we simply must resolve before the episode. The fucking banana peel of our episode that we're just waiting to step on.

So Miranda, remember last time she had, there was genuine, like there was genuine chemistry and genuine arousal. It was hot! Last episode with Joy. Hottest moments of this whole show. Heart on the chest and stuff. And this episode, Joy's given it, she's thrown her a professional bone. She's doing a live link for the BBC as a, I guess, as a human rights lawyer. And she's taken the coaching she got given before the-

Well, I hope so, sorry. Because I did kind of want to get, because what we're about to get into is what the show wants us to talk about. But what I want to talk about before that is Miranda. Is there any commonality between what the show wants us to talk about and what we want to talk about? I'm so obstinate. It's just me. It's just a me issue. I'm Wyatt. So I'm so obstinate, it's just me, it's just a me issue. I'm Wyatt. So, I'm Wyatt differently. So, what I kept thinking about was like, what is Miranda's role?

Cause we got into this last time as well. We were like trying to remember back what her role was because she bunny hopped career progression wise, a whole bunch of people at the NGO that she's operating at, the sort of charity, the big international charity that's helping like end global conflict, I think. But I don't see Miranda doing a lick of work. I see her do a lot of thirsting over her colleague.

I don't even know what Joy's role is. Joy works for the BBC. Why are they so closely? What's the like professional connection between somebody who works at a charity and somebody who works for the BBC? They're always talking. She's immediate. She's like the she's a human rights lawyer inside of the NGO and also the mouthpiece

that communicates what's happening to the broader public. Yeah, she's like that. So the big yeah, it's not like without. But her and Joy are constantly in communication. Yeah, she's like that. And so the big yeah, it's not like without her enjoy a constantly in communication. Yeah, this is this is the this is why no one trusts the fucking media anymore, man, because the BBC is just in the pocket of these peaceniks and Brooklyn, who don't know the reality of what's going on out there anyway. Sorry. We'll know what the show wants us to talk about. There is an incredible moment happening here where I think there is a divergence in the way that we talk about the show

I just want to talk about this. It's important. You celebrate difference. I See why I totally agree look basically I just think that look they know what's interesting to us Which is you know will they won they Miranda's found her sexuality broken up with Shay uh back out in the open world fucked a nun uh and is basically just you know ready to give herself over to joy she wants some joy in her life and let the audio listeners know guy just did a wink to camera. There's this flotation. So she gets thrown a bone. I mean, I do think that the whole thing about like if their focus is on,

you know, reducing global conflict, it's an interesting creative choice where Miranda's doing the studio link and it's like Human Rights Watch and you're watching this at home and you're thinking what place are you going to send to this fictitious news story in the World Avengers like that? Because it's like, you know, which element on the stove would you like to touch? Which, which, you know, country or continent that you threw a dart at when you're spinning the globe, did it land on that everyone agreed we could touch this one because it's not so, you know, politically charged. North Africa. Yeah. The politically charged. North Africa. Yeah.

The famous country of North Africa. Yeah. So there's movement and so that's so Miranda's doing a studio link and she's doing, she's talking about something that's happening in North human rights. What you got there on North Africa. And she says in the historic country side and stumbles on a word and the big story of this episode becomes Miranda's storyline becomes She gets maimed. She gets maimed to the point that the show

reintroduce One of our fan favorites like an oasis in the fucking desert Yeah, Brady reappears in front of us like it's so so beautiful. His first sighting on this season. That's right. The great, can I say, Niall Cunningham. Oh is that the actor's name? That's the actor playing him. Fantastic. And doesn't he fucking crush it? I think in between.

Doesn't he just absolutely juice to the best of its ability every second that he's on screen? Yeah. He was unbelievable. He was like, I really feel like between whenever we last saw him on screen and now he's been working because I thought it was a fleeting moment on screen, but I really thought he delivered. He sent a text to his mum, which was the meme. It was kind of like a gif, but it had sound.

Yeah, saying cunt. This is by the way, Wild Cunt. Wild Cunt. Wild Cunt, Wild Cunt. This has got to be the most swear heavy episode just like that I've ever seen. Do you know what this read to me as? Mattress Pikelet King. Finally, America has in the last couple of years, I think, owing to their position in the world fading slightly and Britain sort of just holding Steer where it is. Now Americans are allowed to say cunt a little bit more. Oh, and actually, do you know what it is really?

It's drag culture bringing the word cunt into the mainstream over the last few years. It's giving cunt, it's serving cunt. And so what MattressPicletKing did is he went, I'm gonna get some dolls from Britain to be able to allow me to write the word cunt 12 times in the episode. As Kiwis, not a big deal for us but hearing it with an American

accent, oh jarring. It was spine-chilling stuff. So yeah. But the Brits come in and they're throwing it around and it feels like war off a duck's mane. Miranda gets memed to high heaven, becomes convinced that this has blown her romantic opportunity with Joy, who she's sort of lined up to come. Joy's having dinner with friends at Gramercy Tavern, Miranda's house sitting for Carrie. She said, hey, look, I can't, Joy says, I can't do dinner, but I'm having it at Gramercy Tavern.

Miranda says, hey, well, maybe you could come around afterwards for, you know, a drink and tea and, and it's sort of mutually acknowledged that the and is like, oh, and you know, and it's, it's sort of mutually acknowledged that the and is like, Oh, and you know, and it's, it's out there. Uh, plans change. Joy's running late. The dinner's running late. So Miranda's improvising under the advice of Carrie says, well, why don't you just ask everyone back for a drink? I think this is an insane move. Crazy stuff. Yeah. Tell me more. Can't believe it worked. So from Miranda's perspective, we've got Joy,

a colleague, who she's got the hots for, who she's been trying to spark something off with for a little while now. At least an episode. She's put the offer out there to like, let's meet up. Joy said, I'm busy. And then instead of giving her some space

to just like be with her friends or whatever, she's gone, just invite all your friends, you should all come around. Yeah. Do you know what cool off cuz at a minimum you are you're coming off too thirsty even if joy is keen and this isn't like a polite way of her letting you down that she doesn't want to have a drink with you at a minimum you coming off stinking of desperation I mean I have it a day I'm

trying to visualize you're probably cool man the way the communication I mean, give it a day. I'm trying to visualize. You're playing cool, man. The way the communication, I mean, you are talking with the authority of someone who's not been, you know, off the market. I've been hitting on lesbians my entire life. Okay. Great answer to you. Tim is an absolute menace at the gay bars. But I think, I don't know, I sort of thought it was, I thought it was, I don't think it was as- Oh, look, it was a thought swing I am wrong. Yeah, but the world of the show. But yeah, so I school the free I think you're like, I think it's like if it's convenient, and you genuinely want them to come over and you like someone and

the vibes are good. I think she is asking out of a place of insecurity, which makes it feel thirsty. But the way it could read to joy is like, Oh, wow, she's cool. She wants my friends to come over. Yeah. Because what we're on that we're behind the curtain. So we're watching the performers panicking going, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. You know, whereas if you're just seeing what's on the front of the curtain, which is the text showing up being like, Hey, bring the friends over. I don't mind. Yeah, that's, that's quite cool and confident and kind of sexy. Yeah, the friends roll around. This has to be like this is this was a

Oh, I do one. New York City. This has got to be New York City Improv watch from the mic. Also, I think, like borderline, fucking shots fired at British put this felt like this felt like a hate crime committed from mattress Pikeland towards the kingdom of the United Kingdom of like it was absolutely mental, the derogatory and sort of stereotypical way in which these but they were all so insufferable. It was crazy. None more so than the one man who shows up, who's like that, you know, they show up,

they roll into the house, They're all of it personal Oh my gosh, it was such a nice house. Oh my gosh, and they're rolling in and you just want to shut the door on them You do not want to let these people into your fucking house Yeah Around with them irritating thing. It's so funny and it's so dry. They're so fucking stupid They come in and immediately like it's going Oh, what a nice house while by them one of them cooks goes. Oh my god Your wild cunt. This is wild cunt and they're going oh, yeah, and then the lad goes like oh my god

What did he say says nice to meet you wild cunt. I'm more of a tamed cunt myself and Then no, why is this the bit where you're off the train and you wrote down how good a line little house on the carry was I'm grading carry against what I know she's capable of. I'm grading carry against episodes and episodes of like how many attempted quips there are if one even glances me as a connection credit where it's due. It goes in the journal. Okay.

Mr. fucking wild can't more of a time can't and then don't you mean context? Yeah. Now you're seeing me out of context because I don't even context. Okay. That one's a straight. I'll give you this. We can find a big street. Yeah.

And then as though no one has to read in comprehension to understand the pun he's made, he turns to a friend and says, taken out of cunt text, he reiterates that I wanted this guy out of my house. I wanted him out of my eye. And it's you know, I wanted all of them out of my house. Yeah, I really did. At the same time, I don't think you're wrong. I think that they shut off a lot of opportunities for New York City's improvisers. And I think they either found some expats or potentially know I don't think a single I don't think a single person who's actually, and I heard in that had set foot on

Queensland. Yeah, I don't think they've been there. I, well, look, what I think some dialect coaches for a couple of weeks and rolled in and I'll credit them because I will say that the response you got out of both of us from Tim, a desire to spend more time of curiosity, a fascination for me, a frustration, a revulsion. Yeah. Both of those are desirable and appropriate outcomes for those archetypes of characters. So congratulations, Mattress Pikelet King, you win this round. And to the improviser of New York City. Now to Seema. Seema Patel's journey continues apace. She has interfaced with Ryan Seacrest in this episode. She's been ousted from the company. Well, she took herself out. Patel and Proust. Well, ousted from the leadership role that she understood was promised. That's true. Also, can you tell me about what you didn't say last episode that was...

Well, what I... it just... man, this was crazy to me last episode, but I forgot to bring it up on the app. Carrie congratulates Seema on the speed at which she comes up with the name for her company, which she's about to form, which is the Patel Group. Come on. And you know, she's a writer. If I think about this in the context of who Carrie was in the last episode, it's just a way of resting back control of talking about what she wants.

If she brainstormed and noted it, all of a sudden they're fixed. They're focused on something which doesn't care. She's just read how to win friends and influence people. She's remembering page 173. She's like, okay, hold on. I'll check her little compliments so I can grab that spotlight. That's exactly what's happening. Yeah.

All right. So Seema, uh, Ryan Seacrest rocks into her office. So she's still got her like kind of old office as semi co-head. But she's got, she's got, no, I think, I think she's cause she's left, right? There was episode three, she's going to leave. She's in the process of leaving. And we understand she's got 30 days. What's happening right now, she seems to be forming her own company out of her old

office which is still on the floor surrounded by the old company so this is you know it's all very fresh it's it's happening quite quickly Ryan Seacrest comes in he says I'll bet you were expecting me to be sitting at your desk with my feet up no the same as I thought you'd be doing that oh and he's sort of different you he goes well there'll be a real dick move and last time I did that my leg slipped off and I lost the chair or something that. Oh, and he's sort of differential. He goes, well, there'll be a real dick move. And last time I did that, my leg slipped off and I lost the chair or something. And kind of funny and also playing against type against assumed type. He's wearing a very crisp suit.

He's got his hair just so the assumption is we're going to be dealing with an archetypal television series or movie sort of villain. Someone who galvanizes the audience very easy easy to root against, immediately plays against this. I like Ryan and Seema's relationship. Okay. Tell me more. This feels like a game, recognised game, couple of professionals. Cause what I would expect to see in a TV show like this is kind of what you're

describing where you've got a big dumb idiot boss who's very overly aggressive. Fucking Tom from the law firm that Miranda used to work at a buffoon a misogynist pig yeah right I actually you know I probably don't like Tom I do miss him I know wouldn't it be nice to see Tom in this so good so um what did she say to him? She didn't say fuck off. No, she says he's like, look, um, he's talking about a piece of real estate. He says, I need your help. No, no, sorry. Now I'm thinking about Tom. Oh, what does Miranda say to Tom and Sex and the City too?

She just stands up and says, I will not be talking like she says she says she calls him something. Anyway, you'd think after 52 times of a movie it would be in there and yet Can I tell you something sidebar? I? Have been going through everything I have in my house We'd sort of you know Tetris in our house everything's got pulled out looked at either thrown out or put away. I found a notebook with my annotated notes from our 50 second screening. Oh wow. Oh no way. What? Have you deleted it?

No, I took a photo. Oh no. Oh my god. I thought it was of Sex and the City 2. It's just the first Sex and the City. It's okay. I know. Do you think Tom might have been on the page? I thought Tom might have been on the page, yeah. That's alright. It's still, it's still in the world.

It was interesting. It is. Um, Ryan and Seema instead have a relationship where these are two pragmatic professions. Is there anything you want to share from the notes? Before we move on? Can I see it? There's just a note I've written on it. How Ted Kaczynski style is the pros.

So this was our last screening. And there's a note I wrote, which is, it's going to be embarrassing for the performers when they start doing the show and realize we're not there. So it was clearly. This is the beautiful mind we're dealing with by the end. In a pretty good place. Not bad handwriting. Yeah, thank you.

It's not amazing, but I've got terrible handwriting. So I'm kind of comparing it to my own. I was the first in class to get my pen license. Congratulations on that, dude. And look at you now. When other people were working on their writing, I got to play with Technics or like, you know, like connective, like whatever the school version of a toy was.

And we've lost him, folks. He's deep in the primary school. He's back there with Mr. Smith. Oh, Mrs. Thompson. Nice handwriting. What did I want to say? License. Oh, the other, this is not as relevant. But you said I look at you now. That made me think the other thing I was going through every single piece of university, like every university paper I submitted was in, was in part of what I was looking through. And it was like the criticism I was taking on from tutors on like, you know,

I was about, I did film. So a lot of it was talking about how I analyze film. And then some of it was about how I perform. And it was all pretty critical when fair enough, I was not trying or showing up, but I was like, critical when fair enough, I was not trying or showing up, but I was like, you were writing that back to them or you were annotating the notes or something. No, right now, right. Like suck it.

Not fucking did it. Hey, congrats, man. Thank you so much. Ryan C. Krest and Seema have a relationship which I think is more satisfying and reflective of the real world which is if you get to the top of the real estate pyramid it's because you've actually got some fucking skills and a good head on your shoulders they're not running into each other like a couple of fucking F-150s at full speed head to head they're dancing, they're two professionals, you know, and their conversation

about... because what Ryan Seacrest has gone in there to do is kick her out of her own office, way quicker than she thought. But he does it with a little bit of fucking riz. Yeah, he does a little bit of panache. He says, you're a piece of real estate, I really need it, you're the only one who can give it to me. And she goes, you're talking about me. And he goes, that's why I need you because you're quicker than me but not too quick like threatening anybody says is you need to work for me which could be a real fucking flashpoint for I'm gonna work for you this is my company but instead Seema she's playing it cool cuz she

knows that burning bridges isn't gonna serve her in her professional life so instead she goes no no she doesn't even call get the fuck out of my office in seven days she said I thought I had 30. He goes, well, I guess I am the dickhead you thought I was. Yeah. But it's all good. She doesn't even seem that pissed off to me.

It's because she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Well, this is good. For me, I'm like, I like this. It's not a rational- Because you have, Seema is not like an, an obviously. She's a spare bit. Oh, she's a fucking spare part to this whole show.

And this show to return to the space metaphor is an absolute galaxy of celestial bodies playing with each other and each other's orbit flying around, smacking into each other. You know? Yeah. Seema is, is like operating on the fifth dimension where she's sort of like around, smacking into each other. You know, yeah. Seema is like operating on the fifth dimension where she's sort of like traveling through but no one is affected by it. Seema's treatment of this episode is like she gets kicked out of her office.

She comes back tries to recruit someone to be like you should come work for me. I'm gonna tell Ryan I've got the movers coming by the way when I was young. I was an assistant. Someone saw something in me. They said I know when I work for them and look at me now, I see something in you. And the receptionist says, my rent is $3,000 a month.

And Sima says, got it. Yeah. That was my dream at one moment. Anyway, but that's basically all Sima gets. Do you know who she reminded me of? Who? Louise. Is that her name? St. Louise.

Yes, because it's like theoretically. And you brought me Louise Vuitton. Yes, Seema didn't connect with a single other like cast member outside of her little nest of characters. There wasn't a fucking phone call, there wasn't a text message, there wasn't a meetup with anyone. What?

Cause I forgot that the theory on St. Louise is that. She's not real. She's a figment of Carrie's imagination. You think Seema is doing the same thing. I'm not saying it's the same thing because clearly, like, obviously. They've hung out in this. But she's getting that treatment. Yeah, it's interesting.

I know this won't be the last we've seen of her. To return to the space metaphor. She is Voyager and that she has left our solar system. For this episode at least. Look, we're gonna run out of time and there are some other really enjoyable moments I want to touch on. Okay, namely Harry's dad's on the scene. It's a lot of fun. It's a great storyline. Morris Goldenblatt. Yeah, he walks in. Did somebody say banana? This guy's got a great energy and a fantastic performance. He's just an old bird. He's walking around the apartment. He's horny. They seed and they open and close a storyline, a subplot containing one episode at the start of

the episode. Harry or Charlotte gives rock the iPad says this pop pops iPad. This one guy. And I told him I both look. Yeah, we both look at it and say it's porn. Basically, later on in the episode, guess what? It's porn. Turns out he's horny. This guy is rooting the annoying neighbor at some point, okay? That's what we're dealing with there. It's a lovely, it's lovely stuff. What I really want to talk about is Bob.

Yeah, yeah, great. The show introduces and drops spare parts and characters at a rate of knots, but this is a guy who's got to be discussed. This is good because what you just mentioned happened three times in this episode. Guy and I are now operating with such synchronicity that we are thinking the exact same thoughts at the same time responding to the stuff that's going on on screen. So one was we saw a mile away in the exact same split second as soon as it's seated where we're going with pop pop's iPad. We also looked at each other and said at exactly the same moment when Lisa Todd Wexley is having trouble sleeping because she can't get a replacement

for her editor on her documentary season. Do you mind if I? No, please. She is auditioning for a new. I know that's not the right word. She's she's interviewing for editors. There is a guy called Marion. So you was an editor called Marion. Yeah. But he walks in. There is a guy called Marion. So you would think it's a woman. It was an editor called Marion.

That he walks in and he's a guy and he's fucking hot. God damn, is he hot? He's the hottest guy that's been on the season so far. And he's just like silky smooth. I hope this guy stays for my own, for my pleasure. And Lisa Todd Wexley is then sort of having to roll her tongue back into her mouth and say, let me sleep on it and I'll figure this out. Yeah. She has to push both of her eyes that have turned into love hearts back into her sockets.

Again. And she's got to roll her tongue back up. This is a documentary series, the entire point of which, which she's been working on for the better part of a decade, is about celebrating undersung black woman. So a male editor obviously is a little bit of a fox in the hen house for that. So she goes to sleep and she's having a very disturbed sleep and she keeps sleep talking and Guy and I went sex dream. But they didn't do it. She didn't have an out

loud sex dream. Instead, the subplot is that Herb, who's running for city comptroller, strangely topical, is not sleeping. And he just takes himself while she's sleep talking, goes and sleeps in the spare room. Totally reasonable, totally sensible. You reckon herb will get arrested by ICE? Never say never. I don't think so. Anyway, and then he tells her the next morning, he says, I slept fantastically darling. I

went and took myself to the spare room and Lisa's talking, he's like, what? No, no, sleep divorce. That's not us. That ain that and us and I do respect these guys relationship I think they've got a healthy and heavy relationship. I do think that Given the situation, I think it's normal behavior. He's got a lot on he needs to sleep. It's fair enough, you know Yeah, it's fine. And then the next night she's like, okay, you're gonna sleep in the beer with me He goes, okay, but if you talk I'm out and then she's in bed flicking water on herself It's like wouldn't it have been, cause I know that that's not gonna get addressed

in the next episode. Can you just give us- Who plan is to not sleep? Yeah, can't you just give us a sec? Can you just give us the sex dream that you teased? Yeah. Can you just give us whatever that little detail is? Can you show us the photo of Harry pissing his pants?

Yeah. Can you upload that on Instagram? Can you land a plane? mattress pikelet? It's difficult when you got so many planes in the air. Other details that were brushed up against but not really to completion. Diego Lily's new boyfriend ballet dancer is Polly. Surprise, surprise. Yeah, yeah. There's a polyamorous character in the golden black house. All good. Great.

Undoubtedly all good. Happy's here. But that's not the last we're gonna hear of that. That's gonna be a recurring motif. They throw a lot of the sort of progressive lightning rod style storylines at the Golden Blatt's. The Golden Blatt's are constantly like- They are, they're kind of like the cultural weathervane in some ways of the show.

Carrie's storyline exists, it's trapped in Amber. It exists across decades. And that's probably why she's running this fucking ludicrous. Romantic book is going to be so, I got to say every time it cuts to, it cuts to her, like narrating what the book is back by the way, right. A column for the love of God. Go back to blogging. I would say, right. A column like this, this is garbage. What you're constructing. And just like that. I'm fishing. She says the name of the show. Yeah. Very satisfying. Other details. That cat. You know, the kitten that we keep seeing. Yeah. You talk about Chekhov and Michelle Obama. Chekhov's cat. That cat is either going to kill

or be killed. That cat is getting too much screen time for something massive not to happen. Where the fuck was the hot gardener? I got a message from someone. Okay, and this really satisfied me because I was like... And I love that all of this was a divergence because you desperately wanted to talk about Bob and we'll get to him. Which is our three for three moment of synchronicity when Guy and I... I paused it to say something to Guy and before I could say it Guy said, that should be Wil Forte. Yes. And I said I was supposed to get to tell you that exactly so the Gardner Adam not a couple on this show we're not we are not bad we got pretty

good communication they could learn some from us I he shows up I said that looks like a sort of you know knockoff Tom Hardy you're loving him he's attractive people like him yeah and he looks so familiar to me beyond just knockoff Tom Hardy. There's a listener called Jane, if I'm in correspondence with, who's like, I also know. Okay. And who gave me basically, I have to credit them because they observed it. The actor who plays Adam the Gardener, Logan Marshall Green played, and I know that I always used to talk about this show, it might be annoying for you, Trey Atwood on the OC. Oh, the OC. Ryan's brother. Ah, who shot Mar- like

big, big character. That moment. Yes. Was this a season finale? It was a big moment. There was a famous SNL skit off the back of it. Trey Atwood, not a good guy. Assault Marissa then gets shot by her. Right. Okay, here's the theory floated by Jane. Then he fucking moves to New York. Love this. Starts to call himself Adam to shake off the sexual assault drama.

Sets up a t-shirt business and when that goes bust, he starts a landscaping business and becomes Carrie Bradshaw's gardener. This is a theory floated to me that I just, I love the intertextuality of it. I just listen. Cannon. Yeah. Ordained by Tim and Guy. Thank you. Floated by Jane, rubber stamped by us.

That is now. I know, I know you'll be listening, Jane. So shout out to you for that. I love that the OC drifts into it. And just like that. You want to talk about Bob? Oh I did want to talk about Bob. So Bob is, do you know what I like?

If it was Will Forte, I'd write him off. I'd be like, you're going to get a few lines. Because that's what they do with their most famous play things. They show them to the camera. That's right, Rosie O their most famous play things. They show them to the camera. That's right. Rosie O'Donnell. And they throw them off the camera. Okay, Kristen Schaal. This is not Will Forte, because that would be too...

That would take you out of the world. This is a lookalikey. And he's giving a very Will Forte-esque, very funny performance. There's a lot of discussion about co-parenting the balance of the splendid family dynamic, because look, you know, Cathy and Aidan and Homer, Tate and Wyatt, they are, or Tate, sorry, Tate, Wyatt and no Tate, Homer and Wyatt. Do you want to explain roughly who these people are? Cause we're throwing a lot of names at everyone today.

Homer, Tate and Wyatt are characters who were introduced in Sex and the City 2 from Aidan's Wallet. Pictures of all three, Cathy, the mother, I think also in the photo. They've all grown up. In many ways. They're three dimensional now, who hasn't? And basically, for Tate's 21st birthday, there's a big family event. Tate's come back from college, he's 21, he's carrying a six pack of Lagunitas IPAs, very punchy beers. We would sack them quite a lot. And Cathy's there, her partner, Bob is there. And he's talking about the challenges of trying to blend in with this family.

It's quite an intense family, you know? And so, and he's got a, he's got a wicked glint in his eye. He looks like he's a bit of fun. He's showed up. He's brought his own bottle of whiskey, which is not addressed, but he's brought his own bottle of whiskey. And then when he's sitting, he's just drinking from his own bottle. I totally get that.

That's, that's, that's a person being inserted into a situation they know has a 70% chance of going absolutely terrible and just like insulating themselves for that fact. So Bob is talking to Carrie like, you know, uh. What do you think about all this fucking ADHD? He's just talking like he's talking as outsider to outsider. He's like, Hey, look, I get it. I'm here too. It's intense. You know, what do you think about this? What do you think about that?

Carrie's like, I don't know. Bob's like, you know, you just gotta, you know, you just gotta accept it. Whatever. So later on when they play, he, he's the one who tells Carrie that Aiden's against the meds. Cathy's pro the meds. Carrie walks in and she's like, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were against him. I wouldn't have brought them.

He's like, not tonight, Carrie. Okay. Whatever. They go back to the table. They're playing apples to apples and Bob who knows his place knows his speed knows his role is just not engaging Everyone's playing he's over Perfect and they go you're right over there Bob I'm alright and then later on why it's blowing up is going Bob, Bob doesn't,

you know, Bob is a family thing. We're going to play with on screens. He goes, Bob doesn't play. And then they go, Bob never plays. And Bob just looks at me and goes, true. And both of those deliveries took me out at the knees. I loved them. I love whoever you are who played Bob. You are my hero for this episode. I'll shout you out. Do you want to make that your shining light? Yeah, I'm going to make the appearance of Brady. It was genuinely fucking thrilling to see him there. He's a kitchen hand at the moment. He was chopping up some vegetables and he took a little bit of time out from his busy

schedule to send his mum a meme. Of her? Of her saying cunt. Other details that must be addressed. Number one, Shelton and Harry's bed is too small. It is too small. I don't understand why they're in such a small bed. They have one of the biggest apartments I've seen in my life. Their bed is a double maximum. Yeah.

The other thing, it is unacceptable to ask for a spare banana two days on the truck. Still talking about the banana. That's all I wanna say. If you've got access to bananas, I understand, one morning, fine. The bananas for everyone. The second morning, if you haven't got yourself a banana,

that's your problem. MattressPikeler, if you're listening, I know that everyone is putting the show together in real time just for us. Please, let's continue this trajectory of getting Carrie the fuck out of there. This is working well it really feels like things are happening things are moving forward. I appreciate the efforts and I'm not gonna lie to you I had a good time this watch

maybe for the first time this season. This I enjoyed. Delicious. Let's get Miss Bradshaw the hell out of Dodge. Hold on. Go on. This cannot be. Go on. So I was looking up Niall Cunningham's Instagram. Yes. Just to see what we're dealing with here, how accessible he is. Yeah.

He's accessible. This is definitely the guy. He's got 10.6 thousand followers. His pinned post. This is not cutting in the actor. His blower is relaxed. Hollywood Reporter. The Worcester Group. Symphony of Rats. What's, what's going on here? What's going on here? He's taking part in a play or performance piece. What the fuck?

Called Symphony of Rats. We've missed it. It was in 2024. But it's interesting. He's right there on the poster. And he's holding some sort of magic crystal. Guy and I need to go away and process all of this. Thank you so much for joining us.

We will be back next week to consume another episode, hopefully with our Lord and Saviour, Brady the Rat King. Well, hell, Brady. This is crazy. Bye, everybody. Thanks for being here. Are you okay? Yeah.