The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E013: FitzHigham

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description: Guy and Tim are struggling to hold on so they've brought another special guest into the fold: This week, British Comedian, multiple world record holder and Commodore of the Royal Navy, Tim FitzHigham. Also, as part of the NZ International Comedy Festival, the boys have recorded the epsiode live in front of an audience in downtown Auckland at New Zealand's only full-time comedy club, The Classic. Enjoy. Somebody should. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ah yes, Tim Fitzhaim. What a lovely man. We've only had him on the podcast once and it was in this episode, which I guess was our first ever live episode. I'm trying to remember because in this episode we referenced the fact that James Acaster was on the one just before this, but I don't think that was a live show. I that was just us hanging out i think guys listening to that one i'm listening to this one this might be our first ever live show and what a freaking trip uh again beautiful references to patty schwartz who who would know what was to come that we'd have the the man's facial image tattooed on our bodies forevermore um also this is quite a personal little behind the scenes here but i'm pretty sure i can hear in the crowd in this live episode the laughter of two good friends chelsea and reese reese matthewson's been on the

podcast he's a fantastic new zealand comedian um and his now wife, Chelsea. I don't think they were together at the time the show was recorded. So that's so cool that we're both at this live episode of our podcast. It's just kind of nice. It's kind of a nice thing to think about. In terms of the YEP, great to hear us in a room with a few people. Just so good. We're gassed up. We're gassed up at the prospect. Great to have an international guest.

We're having fun during the comedy festival. We're footloose, fancy free, guys taking naps in the afternoon. It's a good time. Reminds me of the live show we did. I don't think it was this season, though maybe it was towards the end, but either way, you won't hear it on the app. I think we might have talked about this in a friend zone at some point. There was a couple who came and saw our live show of the podcast, and then they sort of excused themselves quite loudly midway through.

And we sort of noticed that we didn't know what was happening. We didn't really give a shit. But it turns out they went to the bathroom to have sex. While we were talking about one of the Sex and the City movies, I think. I think it was one of those seasons. On stage. That's what got them all heated up that's not what happened in this episode as far as I know anyway but um romance is still in the

air as I mentioned so shout outs to Reese and Chelsea and uh thanks again to Tim for time for joining us and thank you to you for listening I hope you enjoy it Enjoy it. Unbelievably, even the credits are sexist. How do you fucking make credits sexist? How have they achieved doing that? There's Liz. Don't even just... They're not saying who it is, doing that? There's less. They're not saying who it is, are they? They're not saying who's

doing what. Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time live record edition. Episode 13. We'll just flick it down a little bit. We're joined. My name is Tim Batt. My name's Guy Montgomery. And we're joined by Tim Fitz. Hi, ladies and gentlemen.

Good evening. All the way from England. Oh, yes. I'm so glad you brought me here for this. Ah, well, it was a great... Halfway across the world to see this film. Do you want to see the credits? Is this what you were waiting for?

Oh, I think we should name some of these people forever. Oh, Steve Austin. Really? Oh, wait, we know him. Should have... Have you seen Dennis Dugan? There's the gym teacher, Dan Patrick. We liked the gym? Oh wait, we know him. Should have... Have you looked? See Dennis Diggins?

There's the gym teacher, Dan Patrick. We liked the gym teacher, didn't we? So now, you thought, Tim Fitzhine, international comedian, that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son features in this film. He does Fred Boyce. He's there, look! Oh, there he is! Patrick Schwarzenegger.

Patrick Schwarzenegger. I was right. He's the one that doesn't get any lines. Right, okay. Are we down for the credits now? I think we're there. We just had to double check that I'm not... The movie's going on.

All right. Now, for those of you in the room who don't know the concept, if you came... Fuck, what are you doing here? If you came here, you must know. Tim and I are watching Grown Ups 2 once a week for 52 weeks, and we're reviewing it immediately afterwards. After last week, we got in James Acaster

He just looks shattered. He looked genuinely shattered. I was sleeping I was having a really good sleep this afternoon and I woke up and I was like oh, like I was late. I was late the reason this whole thing's running late is because I was sleeping and I tell you the worst reason to get out of bed

is to come into the city so you can watch grown ups too This is the 13th worst reason to get out of bed is to come into the city so you can watch Grown Ups 2. This is the 13th. 13th time, Tim Fitzheim. Was it lucky? Was it unlucky for you? Listen, I appreciate you coming in on our

podcast, but we'll be asking the questions back. I want to get your initial thoughts. What do you think of this film, this Hollywood film that we're watching 52 times? It's very well lit, isn't it? There's definitely been a lot of money spent on the lighting. I think that. Now, that sounds like an errant comment, maybe a slightly cheap comment,

but it has been noted in previous episodes that the thing with this movie, the thing that'll get you is that it has all the appearances of a good movie. It looks slick enough. It's shot well. As you say, it's lit well. The sound mixing, fine. The stunts are very slick. Relatively impressive.

Quite seamless. And yet, terrible film. I'd just like to gauge from the people in the room, who's seen Grown Ups 2? Anybody? Both of you two have? Nice. Why? There's three, there's three. Actually, this podcast

kind of inspired me to watch it. You watched it after we warned you not to watch the film. Because we say that every week. I know, but it enriches the listening experience to know what you guys are talking about. I can't hear him. The man said that it enriches the podcast experience by going through it.

I mean, it's already so rich, I don't know how you could handle any more. Hang on a minute, this is reverse marketing. Holy shit. What you've achieved. What the fuck is this? We've got an audience, baby. What you have achieved here is that you have become a successful marketing tool for grown-ups too. That man would never have watched this film.

He would never have had to spend, what is it, nearly two hours of his life. Let me ask you a question. Did you pay money to see it? No, no, no. Thank God. And how many episodes of the podcast did you listen to before you watched it?

I only discovered the podcast a few weeks ago, so maybe six or seven. And you're like, I just have to know. Well, yeah, yeah. It makes it a lot easier to get through the podcast and listen to the podcast. You could have just stopped listening to the podcast. You don't need to listen to the podcast.

It's a dud, mate. The whole thing's shit. No, listen, we're getting off track in record time. Let's keep this puppy on the track. Tim Fitz, I am our international comedian guest this week. By the way, if you're listening to the podcast, the man who created the podcast just said this podcast is a dud. Which is not, again, it's reverse marketing. It's genius.

I don't know if anything that's happening right now is genius, Tim. It's really quite bleak. So there's a little bit of admin do you want to get should we do the admin first or you want to do the admin later any questions for tim up front well i well i just what i noticed immediately in watching it with you tim is often like when we had james in last week um he was sort of i and i found it energizing to have someone else watching and experiencing them watching it for the first time you were really visibly your body language was very depressed

Yeah, it was painful. The whole movie you were like you were it was like you were one of us like you'd watched 12 times already like you weren't even like I want you know, I'm gonna enjoy how shit this is You were just like what's going on there? And I came in so positive as well. I was really when I got out of bed I was really positive about it. I thought this is gonna be a great film watching it with you guys This is we even have popcorn. Yeah, this was really positive about it. I thought, this is going to be a great film. Watching it with you guys. We even had popcorn. This was great. It all had the set-up of being exciting and great.

And then it started. Some bits were painful. What juts out at you? Just from memory off the top of your dome right now. At what moments were you just... Because you did. You were doing this. You did the head and the hands thing. I may have done that.

Was that five minutes in? Roughly. Yeah, I may have. Can you remember specifically any moments which warranted that sort of reaction? I may have hit that. I think it was in scene one when the deer, the moose, was in the bedroom. And I thought that was a great set up. I thought, that's brilliant. They're waking up. They're in love. This is fantastic. And there's, that was in the bedroom. And I thought that was a great setup. I thought, that's brilliant.

They're waking up, they're in love, this is fantastic. And there's a moose in the bedroom, that's really funny. Quite a big start. It's a big start, it is a big start. It's a big start. I thought this is obviously a good thing. This is going somewhere. It's got all the hallmarks.

They've clearly borrowed it from Hangover, whatever it is, with the tiger. You're right. It's that kind of a joke. And then the deer is just there to wee on everyone. Oh, yeah. And it's an early set-up for the film in that something will happen and you'll think, right, this must mean something.

Yeah, it's going somewhere. It's great. Nothing means anything in that film. And then they manage to scare the moose with dirty laundry. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that makes any sense. I mean,

but it's one of the first things that made me wonder if things were going to make sense. I also question whether Adair could go downstairs.

I do wonder that too. I wonder that. You can't, what you've got to, because when you're watching it, this is, because I have this

problem with Tim each week when you nitpick and you go, this is ridiculous, how can this be in the movie? But if you've got to do, because when you're watching it, this is, because I have this problem with Tim each week when you nitpick and you go, this is ridiculous, how can this be in the movie? But if you extrapolate across the, like you can say that

about everything. We want to make an edit where we take out all the superfluous bits and you probably get like a trailer. Yeah. I'm going to break it to you, Tim.

I'm not sure that was a real deer. Are you questioning the veracity of that mighty beast? I think elements of that deer were CGI. Well, I think you're lying. Someone spent money CGI-ing a deer. It's the incredible thing, Tim.

For that gag. Like, and this is why I... How much money does it cost to CGI a deer? It seems like someone... Like, someone here must work at Weta. We're in New Zealand. So someone must know how much money you'd have to spend to get

that deer on its can deer can't go on the hind legs can dig on the hind leg i don't know hind legs clearly a very good gag but the point is okay not for everyone uh but my point is that it doesn't look plausible and the deers no no but this is what i'm talking about how much we is there in a deer oh and how does it stop and start the weeing so much? Enough to piss on a family I mean this is the thing though You get so obsessed with Speculating over this detail

You can do that to every single moment Right the way through We've now been talking for five minutes about the deer The deer is the first 30 second gag of the film Of an hour 40 minute film But then as it turns out, a vitally important character. It bookends the whole thing, doesn't it? The whole thing.

Listen. You go. If I may. Tim, we introduced a new segment with James Acaster, which I would love to get you to do. And that is, look, you're an international performer. You're a fabulous comedian. You can improvise. Here's the bit.

Yeah. Guy Montgomery and myself are studio executives. Yeah. And you've got to pitch this movie to us to get it made. And preface it with your preface that you do. Guess what, mate? Tough times. Tough times.

The global financial crisis has hit us hard. Piracy is on the rise we're struggling to really find a profitable gold film that's gonna just put us head and shoulders above the rest we need critical acclaim we need fantastic box-office performance what's your idea Tim Fitzsimons okay so firstly thank you for seeing me at such short notice I know how busy you must be with your studios. You know how... You know how Heineken...

You know how Heineken doesn't really taste like anything? And it's kind of quite a bland lager. It's my favourite beer. I'm glad you brought it up. With no real ups and downs and highs. It's my favourite beer. I'm glad you brought it up. With no real ups and downs and highs. It's just Heineken. And you can literally sell it anywhere in the world. And people will buy it. Oh, yeah.

I've got an idea. That if you could take Heineken and make it into a movie, that's what I'm pitching to you. That's what I'm saying. Heineken and make it into a movie, that's what I'm pitching to you. That's what I'm saying. Heineken, the movie. The bones of your proposal are really exciting to us here, Tim. But, I mean, what I'm wondering is how... Oh, and it includes a weeing deer.

Well, look, I'm on board. Hey, hey, hey. I'll sign the check right now. I'm not going to lie, that's a sweetener. You've got your gun hoe with the pen there. See, this is guy. It's got coffee and cock. I'm on gonna lie, that's a sweetener. You got your gun hoe with the pen there. See, this is Guy, it's got coffee and pop. I'm on board with it.

What I'm wondering is how are you gonna transfer those qualities of Heineken, the beer, and all of the great market value that's obviously built up over the years. How are you gonna do that in a new movie? Well, just like Heineken, I'm gonna take all the right ingredients and somehow mess it up.

That's what I'm going to do with that. I'm going to take all the great cast members that they appear to have somehow, and I think it's got to be blackmail in some cases, have got into this... So you're telling me you're going to blackmail celebrities into making the Heineken equivalent of movies? Yes, that's what I'm saying.

I'm on board. Okay, and that's how this gets made. I know, right? Amazing. I'm on board. Okay. And that's how this gets made. I know, right? Amazing. I don't... Wow. I mean, can we go into some plot points that you think will be a selling point for this film?

I think definitely a drugged bus driver for a children's bus. I think that's a winner. I think... I think if you could take... It's like they've taken comedy and thought it wasn't good enough. And so had to put something else on top of comedy. Do you mean the gag they've thought of or comedy as a concept?

As an entire concept. So in there, there are moments where you go, please stop now. That's a great gag. Don't do anything. Don't, no, don't do that. Yeah, you're right. Because there's some accidentally hilarious moments in the film. Yeah. And there's bound to be. You've got some of the best performers in the world in a film. Well, some of the best performers

in the world in a film. There's bound to be some bits of gold in there. Because those people are funny people. They slip through the net. It does seem like they have. This quite naturally leads into the top three, which is another new feature where we sort of pick out

a list of top three moments in the film. So last week, it was the top three physical gags, was it? Stunts. Stunts. Now this week,

what we wanted from you, Tim, are your top three belly laughs because I saw a few creeped out of your bloody gullet there, mate. Yeah. No, that's definitely true. I don't... I really...

In descending order. Wow. I haven't really ordered them. Make it up. It doesn't matter. I haven't really thought them through in that linear way. I liked the PE teacher. It just made me laugh when he went,

anyone want to see me climb a rope? Who wants to watch me climb a rope? There you go. I don't know if you guys have seen the movie. That's dead on. That's exactly how he sounds. I like that. But then they had to mess it up with a wacky camera angle.

Yeah. So it's like, ugh. So that was half a bellied off. I've got to knock half off for the wacky camera angle. Onwards! And then, who's the guy with the son who is... Bubdy. Special... Oh, Kevin James.

Kevin James. Kevin James, when he said, when his son's eating ice cream, and he just doesn't even look at him and goes, that's butter, son. Yeah. That's a funny laugh. That's a funny line. And we can say this because we know the script off by heart. Now, Bean says, this is the best vanilla pudding I've ever tasted. Vanilla pudding, okay.

And Kevin James says, that's not pudding, that's butter, son. Yeah. Did you not, because I've watched that. A lot? Yeah, a's butter, son. Did you not, because I've watched that. A lot? Yeah, a couple of times. Did you not think that was irresponsible parenting by Kevin James? Do you not think you shouldn't have your five-year-old boy just hoeing into a tub of butter?

I'll be honest, a lot of this film is not sending out very good messages. I mean, the fact they force feed alcohol to a dog. I'm glad you noticed that. Isn't it great? You know, there's a lot of bad messages there. You can easily skip over that shot, and I think I did on my first couple of watches, but yeah.

Because your mind can't believe what it's seeing. Yeah, it's cognitive dissonance. It's actually a callback, that, because the lady who's doing the bear bong to the dog, because they just needlessly introduce people and bring them back to try and lend some sense of... Callbacks. I don't know.

But she was the mum at Kmart yelling at her kids on the way into Kmart. Oh, right. When we were four kids. I didn't get that. There you go. No, I mean... And you wouldn't have. I mean, honestly, it was about six or seven in when I...

I'm like fucking viewing it on a different plane, bro. You are, yeah. No, you really are now. It's really true. Yeah, so we've got one and a half belly laughs. And then the third one came almost immediately after that scene where they said that the

costume party would be 1980s themed costume party and the genius son kind of goes, wow, the 80s, that's 70 years ago. And then Kevin James just drops his fork. And that's funny. No, fuck it.

Guy, you look incredulous, but I'm with you on that. That made me laugh. Actually, so what made me laugh most in this movie was silence. That's what I'm saying. I appreciate the end point there, but that's not funny, man. Here's a fun fact about...

It's the way the kid's going, hey, and then he's going, bang. There's something about dropping cutlery that's funny. Kevin James' son in this film is actually played by two boys who are twins, identical twins. Oh, wow. They're the Olsen twins. Oh, yeah, because that means they can do it cheaper. Yeah, exactly. And they can kind of skirt around labour laws because they're kids.

Oh, wow. Allegedly. Do you around labour laws. Oh wow. Allegedly. But, I floated to Guy recently that we should try and get to a point where we can distinguish which kid is which. Oh, that's good. And try and pick out the twins. Well actually, I think they have got slightly different, now you say it, I did notice they do have slightly different teeth. Oh! So I think you really could nail that. Are you fucking with us?

No, I think you could nail that. Are you just going to make us look at this kid's teeth for the next 40 weeks? We've got to pay attention to something. I reckon the teeth could be the thing that might give it away. Okay, well, I mean, that's technically... It's two and a half barely lasts, but we'll round it up. Swedish rounding and whatnot. I mean, you also...

During the movie, you had some sort of epiphany where it occurred to you that this follows some sort of traditional British filmmaking framework. Well, no, yeah, I think it's, there was a thing in Britain called the carry-on films, and they were brilliant to start with. They are amazing films. Like, some of the first carry-on films are some of the best films ever made. What is a carry-on film? They were all called carry-on something, something, something. So it's likediog. Beth oedd y ffilm carry-on? Roeddent i'n ei enwi'n carry-on... rhywbeth, rhywbeth, rhywbeth. Felly, carry-on ar y kyber, carry-on ar y busiau.

Ac fel yn carry-on, fel yn carry-on iawn. Fel mewn sefyllfa hygyrchus sy'n mynd allan o'r control... Iawn, ie. ...a'i ddod yn ffilm o ffyniad cyffredinol. Ffyniad? Nid yn ffyniad yn llawn, ond roedd yn ffyniad yn ffyniad. Ffyniad hynod o hymdrech. And it's not quite a farce, but it was very postcard, kind of cartoony-style humour. And it had, like, the cast list was stellar. Like, I mean, everybody that we knew and loved

from the kind of immediately post-war comedy period was in those films. People like, you know, Kenneth Williams. I think Sergeant Bilko was in one. Phil Silvers was in one. I know all these people. Kenneth Connick. Exactly. But it was a huge cast list. Yeah. Sergeant Bilko was in one, Phil Silvers was in one. I know all these people. Kenneth Connick, exactly.

But it was a huge cast list. Yeah. And yet, some of the later films were not great. Grown-ups Tuzian. They were, they were. And I think that that's the thing. They've clearly got here... I mean, you have to say Adam... What's his name?

Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler, yeah. Sandler is is is a bit of a G He's a genius because what he's what he's worked out is essentially a way of spending time with what are clearly his mates Yeah And being paid an enormous amount of money correct to basically just sit around and it's almost like he's come up with a Saturday Night Live pension scheme That's what it is. That's amazing.

What is incredible is that James Acaster last week had exactly the same takeaway. He's like, because we're going, this is terrible. I mean, do you think they're having fun on set? And he's going, fucking A, they're having fun on set. They're making a shit product they don't care about. They're just hanging out with their mates, getting paid heaps of cash.

Absolutely. And I think also you can tell that because some of the lines, they don't even say them properly. So you can't actually even, I'm straining and going, what was that line? What did he actually say? And the guy's going, I don't know. And the director, Dennis Dugan, who we know as the doctor in the hospital scene is going, we need to take that again. And Chris Rock's going, fuck that. I am not here to do retakes. I'm here to get paid and leave. And actually the doctor's actually quite a good actor.

I thought he was... He's pretty good. He's actually playing it, you know, straight. Now, Tim Batt, I'd just like to check in with you. You know, obviously, it's a different vibe this week. We watched it on a computer. Yeah. In a room.

And there's an audience for the podcast. I mean, where are you at? What's your mental state? How are you feeling about the whole shebang? Horrible. Really bad. I thought that this, and it's been how many days since we did the last one?

Eight or nine. Yeah, it's been a few. Did you miss it? Well, generally speaking, Tim, what happens is that if we do it outside of the seven day regular rotate, I have a new zest for the film. That did not come through today at all. And I wasn't reinvigorated by a guest or the live audience,

which thank you very much, all of you, for coming. But you've done me no good. I feel depressed. I feel nervous again. I feel very worried about the rest of the watches. We've got 40 to go. Do you think you're going to have to just keep upping the stakes? Are you essentially going to have to watch the film by the end

just to get through it? Are you going to have to do that ascent from the Sky Tower while you're watching the film just to kind of spice it up a bit and get some kind of... Well, some ideas have been postulated around certain chemical enhancements of the watches of the films, which I don't think we'll ever, maybe some of the fun of the podcast will be we'll never explicitly say what we're on, but it's up to you to guess what we've done before we've watched it this week.

Well, I do think we generally occasionally are approaching a level of delirium where it will be very difficult to tell if we are on drugs. I mean, it's a weird little three-hour mental bubble that we do go into each week where you're not really engaging with the real world or society at large. And, I mean, it's really nice to have people like you come in, Tim, and dip your toe in the grown-ups' two pools, so to speak. Yeah.

The painless, painful monotony. Yeah. I mean, the material is essential. It's fat children. That seems to be a big, like, inspiration for a the material is essential. It's fat children. That seems to be a big, like, inspiration for a lot of the gags. Well, part of the jokes, I think, would be a more fear. Well, yeah. Push-up bras.

Push-up bras appear to be a big theme. A motif. And people with bald heads. So it's just like, those are the three go-to. It's like, hang on a minute, have we done a joke about one of these three, or vomit or wee, as a side thing in the last five, no, we've got to get one in.

That's the bottom line. Have we not done enough of those? It's kind of a weird, it's a weird go-to thing, isn't it? Well, it's a weird, the tone of the movie is weird because it's not pitched at adults. It's not pitched at, like, I mean, who are they making this movie for? I think this movie, and I was thinking about this as I was watching it, I think this movie is actually intended to be a family movie.

I think this is a movie that is intended for parents to be able to take their kids to and for both of them to laugh. So I think that's the intention. Or they missed.

That's the only way that I can... They missed her. They've missed on both targets. Yeah. They have attempted to shoot down the middle

and you two guys would be the middle and not even you're laughing. You're right. They've missed two targets not even hit the thing in the middle. If you're aiming for the bullseye,

Monty's on one side, I'm on the other of the peripheral of the bullseye target, and the arrow has gone sideways. Yeah. I wonder, actually, if the whole success of this movie is that there are a lot more of these podcasts out there, and basically a whole, like, 52 million people are making a podcast about Grown Ups 2

and that's how it's getting the viewing figures. I mean, as a concept for a podcast, where do you see this going for us? Because when you're watching it with us, you can see our body language, you can see how we're acting. Oh, I see it going into meds. I see it, you know, hardcore doctors being involved in this by the end. I can see we're only on, I say only, you're on 13 and you've got to get to 52.

39 to go. Exactly. Not that anyone's counting. As a joke in the film would be, that's only 70 to go. He's got the format, he's quick. That's the kind of, you know, I mean, I just see it going, by the end, it's going to be a real, it's going to a real tearjerker. Monty, let me ask you directly. How's your mental

well-being and fitness at this juncture? I mean, I'm usually pretty upbeat. It's like, it's just quite a mean-spirited laugh. It's just, look, they can't see your eyes on the podcast. I'm just going to describe the dishevelled man sitting next to me going,

I'm usually quite upbeat. And I want you all to imagine a man who, if he was slumped, like, lying down next to a bottle shop, would not look out of place. That's how upbeat and... How upbeat are those guys, though? They're fucking getting it done. Look. would not look out of place. That's how upbeat and, you know. How upbeat are those guys, though?

They're fucking getting it done. Look. Upbeat, lying down. I just, I just, it's, well, I said sort of, at the start I said with 39 to go, there's 39 more to go. And that was sort of to be like, only 39 to go. But that number's so much bigger than the number of times we've watched it. You've done a Tim. I've done a Tim bat.

Because I was like, you know, you've got these benchmarks. You get through 10 or 11 and you go, well, we're a fifth of the way there. And that's how I was looking at it. I was like, a fifth of the way there? That's so far along. But that means that we've got four-fifths of it to go. Correct, yeah. That is a much bigger number, Tim.

It is. Four times, in fact, if you do the math. And, I mean... Also, how many hours of your life are you going to spend on that? Oh, this is an interesting statistic, Well, it's what,

three times 52, pretty much, is the situation. Why? Oh, because... It's three hours, it's an hour 40, plus the podcast,

and then you have to, I mean, I need to just walk out after we record. Tim has to go home and, like... Slap it up on an internet. Like, do all this stuff with a computer that I don't I need to just walk out after we record. Tim has to go home and like, slap it up on an internet somewhere. Nice. I think there's one, it was difficult,

where's the heart of this film? You guys have seen it loads. Oh, I can tell you. Okay. Because I know what you mean by that, which is kind of the spiritual heart of it, but there's a specific moment in the film where there is a... Oh, maybe there's two. When Chris Rock is talking to his son

saying, don't go and kill yourself because you're precious cargo, before he takes his driver's license. If you kill yourself, I'll have to kill you. There was a joke in the movie I had for the first time today. Which is unbelievable at this stage. Fuck, what is the other one? I don't even know why that is the part of the heart of the movie.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Oh, I know what it is. It's Higgins. It's where Higgins is talking to his son and trying to rekindle some sort of relationship. And it's a genuine moment of heart. That's nice. But then the third one, I'd argue, is... Monty's taking the shit.

No, you go. You, you. No, I just wonder, is it the kicker? When the little kid... So all three parent-child relationships. I don't count that one. Well, it's not... Well, it's right... Because the one moment you get behind the kid being the kicker, he squashes him.

There's no, there's no heart, that's not a heart of the film Tim, that's just where they try as an attempt at emotional resonance. That's not the heart. But I think they almost pull it off. No. It's more like three attempts at cynical emotional blackmail. Yes. That is a completely correct way of describing it. No, it's more like three attempts at cynical emotional blackmail. Yes There's no there's no purpose there's nothing there's nothing redeeming It's just like it's just a series of failed jokes and when one joke fails for long enough They just do a hard cut to another set up for another failed joke and it goes on and on and occasionally

They'll reference one of the failed jokes from before and just keeps going until an hour and 41 minutes of your life's gone away Okay, and I'm Santa does a burp 41 minutes of your life's gone away. Okay. And Adam Sandler does a burp snart before he's going to fuck his pregnant wife. Let me stop you there, Monty. Let me, let's pull this aeroplane up. Let's grab the wheel. Let's grab the old sticks and pull it up because it's time.

It's time for the patented worst idea of all time, shining light. Just in fairness, they don't always hard cut on the jokes. There's that one that doesn't go. They cross go... There's definitely one that goes nowhere at all and they're just cross dissolving. In a desperate bid to like go... That's just the editor going... The maniacal laughter of Steve Buscemi. Cross dissolves into another scene because they're like, well there's nothing here. That is one of the fun ways to watch the film is imagining the editor and the The frost dissolves into another scene because they're like, well there's nothing here. Hey, hey, hey.

That is one of the fun ways to watch the film is imagining the editor in the booth going, what? I mean, come on guys. Is this, have I got all the reels? I thought, is this the dailies? I thought, is this the whole film? Are these all the alternate takes? The editing, again, the editing is brilliant. Just like the lighting.

Brilliant. Yeah. Brilliant. And there's that one, there's that one moment where the girls meant, the little daughters meant to cry. Well hold that thought, hold that thought for one lighting. Brilliant. Brilliant. There's that one moment where the little daughter's meant to cry. Hold that thought for one moment, because I want to preface this with the shining light. So this is the part of the podcast where we say a genuine moment of the film where we enjoy it. I should have said that. A part of the movie which we genuinely enjoy.

I'm sure I will try. I'm sure I will try. I'm sure I'll try. There's a... There's the moment... The reason I think the editing is so good, I don't know if you noticed, but when the girl is meant to cry because she's lost her...

Mr Gigglesworth? The monkey. Yes. To the deer. This doesn't make sense, even when I'm saying it. When she's meant to cry, she clearly can't cry

as an actress. Hey. And there's a quick cut. Hands off Becky Fader, mate. Have you noticed that? She is a torture force in this film. And then they cut

immediately. They literally go, it clearly doesn't pan out for her in the crying stage. I can't believe you because I think she's probably the finest actor in the film.

Exactly. That's my point. There we go. You've hit it on the head. Okay, so now the shining light. The shining light. The shining light. Who wants to go first? I wrote it down but I've sweated it off and now I can't remember what it was. The shining light. Shit, what does it say? Um...

I wrote it on my hand. I shouldn't have done that. It's um... My shining light, it wasn't really to do with the movie, it just changed the viewing, What does it say? I wrote it on my hand. I shouldn't have done that. My shining light, it wasn't really to do with the movie, it just changed the viewing, was finding out that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son plays one of the frat boys. Yeah. And is one of the worst actors in the world. I mean, it would be interesting to research and see,

did he go to a frat, whatever that is, and if so, is he essentially just being asked to play himself and is clearly unable to do that that would be what I'd like to I'd like to know that

of Schwarzenegger with the with Shiver is that no no it's not the maid it's the actual wife oh I think

we think Schwarzenegger would give his love child his very distinguishable surname yes A and B it's like Higgins, though. It's like he's trying to make it up to him. Publicise him in a film.

That seems a bit tactless to his wife. I mean, no longer, maybe, I don't know. Who can say? This thing's going off the rails. Shining light for you, Tim. Shining, shining light. Struggling. Shining light.

He's struggling. Oh, I know. I've got it. It was that moment where the policeman does a, like a Starsky and Hutch jump across the bonnet of the car and caves the bonnet of the car. Oh, yeah. I really like that.

That's got to be one of your belly laughs. You were losing it. I really like that. That was funny. That's funny. That made me laugh. Shaq genuinely destroying the bonnet of the car. But the thing with that,

the problem they've got with that policeman character, who is, I think he's got some of the best moments, is that all of the jokes that he does have been done in Police Academy by Hightower. It's the same jokes. You're right. It's exactly the same jokes. But at the end of that, Shaq...

Big tall policeman, same thing. Tim, you're shining light, please. Oh, God. I've been trying to think of one Come on, figure out what's on your hand Oh I can't, that's illegible I can't read out that at all Um...

Awkward? Yeah, is that what that says? Does it say awkward? Well that word's just Just? This is a good listening experience this part Yeah I'm gonna go with

I quite like the bit where they break and the bus driver smashes into the back of the bus. They killed Nick. It's like... You've killed a man. That's quite funny. No, they haven't killed him. They have definitely killed him.

What I'm noticing... He's heavily medicated. In all of your moments, it's a physical moment that doesn't involve dialogue, almost exclusively. No, as I said to you, the silence is the best bit in this film. You know, I'm going to stand by that.

My shining light today is part of that monstrous scene that takes place inside of a Kmart. There's a lot of Kmart, by the way. Oh, my goodness, is there what? We have delved into this in previous episodes. They definitely paid for a bit of the movie. You actually initially brought up a couple of episodes ago, Monty, where Adam Sandler comes up to Higgins and says,

Hey, crocodile dumby, how'd it go with the kid? That's the line. That is the fucking line. You know it. And it's a fine and brief and rare moment of talented acting by Adam Sandler in this film. That's a gem buried amongst the other stuff. Because there's an entire bit where he goes, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart. They get paid by the mention. It's like, yeah, I think,

I don't know if we said this in a previous podcast, but it's like how Shortland Street has to use a certain amount of te reo Māori to get funding from New Zealand media. Is that correct? Or is that you being... I think that's right. And I think that grown-ups too had to mention K-Mart

a certain amount of times. Same sort of thing. How are we going for time? It's done. We're done. The only thing I could think of, the only thing I wanted to finish my set, or not finish but one thing I did want to say, is that at the end, where there's that massive fight scene going on and

the band just carry on playing the jaguars band they carry on playing chris rock's daughter singing the only thing i could think of was this is like being on the titanic this is how they must have felt as they saw the iceberg hoving into view yes and like the people were playing and i felt like the three of us were on the deck of the Titanic, hurtling towards the end of something terrible. That was my only feeling about that. What a journey.

What a fitting metaphor to wrap up the episode. Tim, thank you so much. Tim, for time, ladies and gentlemen. Bloody brilliant. So much more. Don't clap into the mic, because it's fucking going to peak it out. Time for time ladies and gentlemen. Bloody brilliant. So much more. Don't clap into the mic, because it's going to peak it out. Yeah, look at it, you can see the sound waves there, I really fucked that up.

Guys, thank you very much for listening. As always, unless you're off your bloody chops, don't watch the film. Don't watch the movie. Follow us on Facebook at The Worst Idea of All Time. We'll be back next week for our 14th viewing. The end. us on Facebook at the worst idea of all time we'll be back next week for our 14th viewing the end that's us Tim you want to say anything while

you're here yeah I quite like the bit where the please where the hormonal woman threw the beer keg in the guy's head

that's quite funny very good and on that note thank you for listening. Catch you next week. This has been a live record of the worst idea of all time.

Thank you, good night. Thank you.