The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E11: Wellington

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description: Guy and Tim are in Wellington facing technical issues and a comedy festival. But in spite of all these trials and tribulations the boys have pressed through with another viewing of comedic shit fest Grown Ups 2. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

episode number 11 is coming your way now i remember this so distinctly this was an episode you're about to hear we did a recording of it and then it was not recorded and it genuine i remember it was really fucking good not the one that came out the one that came out is fine but the one we recorded that was lost forever, really good. I actually listened to this episode a couple days ago, and I was waiting to hear back, spoiler alert, on a little update from Guy Montgomery about something that happens in this episode. And I'm just trying to find the answer that he gave me when he messaged me.

Because the true fans will know, and if it's your first go around here's the rub there was a red wine stain that appeared in this episode i remember it happening i remember i was trying to deal with it during the movie and then i after we left the house immediately tuned out um to what was happening so i was asking guy man we message each other so much i'm having to go through so many facebook messages between us just to get back like two days ago oh here we go okay i wanted an update on the stain a modern day update on what happened and guy said that apparently the stain would not lift, but the relationship holds strong. That is awesome.

That is the relationship of Fergus and Sophie, whose house we watched the movie at. Guy was staying there while we were doing the comedy festival 10 years ago. And yeah, Guy and his gusto and his big lanky movements accidentally tripped over a glass of Vino Rouge onto a white, crisp, I want to say pretty shaggy carpet. Like it was sort of the worst place to tip over a glass of red wine. And we gave it our level best, but the um the 10 years later update that stain

that stain is still there but i'm glad that that didn't break up the sophie and fergus relationship i've got no idea how guy's relationship is with either of them now it may be over because of that stain i'm not sure but either way I hope you enjoy this episode. I distinctly remember us walking around having a really good time recording it. So, enjoy. And we're off. Welcome along to the worst idea of all time, episode 11. Sorry it's late, but god damn we had some technical difficulties. My name's Guy Montgomery.

And I'm Tim Beck, coming to you live from the beautiful capital city of New Zealand, Wellington. We've just walked out of a cafe. This is going to be a roving podcast. So we're going to rove the streets. Hear that? Street noise. That's right. That's real atmos.

That was a big truck. So just a little bit of a, first of all, I guess the background on the podcast. It's the worst idea of all time. We watch Grown Ups 2 once a week and review it. This week we watched it two, not today, not yesterday, two days ago. Yes. And then we recorded what, in not today, not yesterday, two days ago. Yes. And then we recorded what in my opinion

was the best podcast, possibly not even of ours, of all time, ever. I actually agree with you. The only thing I take issue with is your word record because we believed we were recording the greatest podcast of all time. But it turns out we simply had the greatest conversation that could potentially have at one

point been a podcast. It was just two guys walking around Wellington talking into a microphone wrapped up in a beanie. We looked like a couple of fucking dropkicks. But it was gold, but it also wasn't recording. That's right, and I think that the fact, I think it makes it performance art. If it doesn't get distributed, it's not a podcast,

it's performance art. Well, how befitting that we're in Wellington doing performance art, just roaming the streets. But anyway, this is our second crack at it. A little bit of background as well on this watch of grown-ups too, numero 11-0-no, as they say in Espanol. As they say, nowhere, because that's not how you say things. We got a little distracted during this week's viewing,

and I'm tempted to say we actually probably need to watch the movie again, because we need to keep it kosher so that there's no question of us having seen the film 52 times at the end of this journey we're on. Well, we definitely watched the film. It was on. The film was on. We were in the room. But the night before, I was staying with my lovely friend Fergus

and his girlfriend Sophie, who's also lovely. Good on you, Fergansof. Quick shout-out. Yeah. Cheers for the free a-com uh and I I in in a moment of jubilation I spilt red wine on their beige carpet and didn't notice until the morning so so it had dried so I mean red wine's not a good thing on white carpet at the best of times it dried my god it was a real nightmare situation so we spent we spent a lot of the film sort of watching

grown-ups to sort of addressing the red wine stain i reckon let's aim for the waterfront we'll go down there okay cool so um a key part of that that you're missing is uh it was quite exciting because it was actually a race against time sophie one of the co-proprietors of said property was actually away uh coming from an overseas trip i believe but she was in auckland yeah oh well overseas if you pass one on the coast too far or something. So she was arriving back in, had no knowledge of the red wine stain, but your mate Fergus did, so we were struggling to put the house back in. Tim Bat really came into his own.

He microwaved a sponge to try and, what were you doing, steam? A steam mop would have been the ideal thing to have. We didn't have time to rent one or buy one, because then you can soften the material, like the dried wine, and kind of lift it out. We didn't have access to that, so I just grabbed some kitchen sponges and chucked them in the microwave, creating the same kind of steamy effect. They were too hot for him to touch with his hands,

so he was microwaving sponges on a plate and then dabbing them with tongs. It was a hell of a visual. It was an operation. But then, see, what you were doing is just pouring litre after litre of soda water on top of the situation. I reckon I put about five litres of soda water into that carpet. And then throwing additional baking soda on top, because you had read somewhere that soda is supposed to lift stains. There's a website called redwinestainremoval.com or something like that. Yeah.

And I just trusted it. That's what happened. I don't think you followed the directions because salt is the ticket to that. Well, if you look at the... You could have dumped a lot of salt on it. If you look at the carpet, you would say it was a failure. The operation, not a total failure but certainly not a roaring success either. I have made the promise to Fergus and Sarah that when

I leave the house so too will the stain. I do not know how I'm going to follow through on that promise. That might be a bit empty. Well I think you should invest in a rug doctor. Steaming mad at dirt, right? Steaming mad at dirt. Look at this. God, Wellington is absolutely alive today. It's a beautiful day in the capital. They say you can't beat Wellington on a good day. I'd have to agree. Now, we're currently balls deep in the middle of the New Zealand International Comedy Festival as well,

which is the reason Guy and I are in this fair city right now. And how's the show been going so far, Guy? And how does it relate to grown-ups too? Well, it's gone okay, man. I've had one night I was very happy with and two nights where I thought I was I labored some jokes a little bit. I see. But um it's my first time running an hour and largely it feels okay what about you how's Tim Batts saves planet earth? Oh look uh it's going it's going all right uh it's probably not exactly where I want it to

be right now but it's it's good you know you get to try new things every night tinker with the show get new audiences in. You're getting many punters through the door oh you're getting a few punters mate yeah shifting units shifting units shifting units as they say i got a boat full of units i gotta get rid of it yeah yeah mate you got too many units i've ordered too many units you're like big save furniture yeah i'm like'm like a Guy Williams joke that you are you're a walking talking Guy Williams joke anyway so we watched it on the

when did we what is it today today is Friday we watched the movie on the Wednesday right and I was quite hungover after celebrating the show

obviously hungover enough to be spilling red wine and not noticing it yeah I was really dreading the movie going in this week surprise surprise and in a late twist Montgomery didn't want to watch the film. How did you feel?

I was actually really looking forward to the movie because I had received an early review on my show, which was a very helpful review, but somewhat scathing in part. So I was feeling a little vulnerable. I was feeling a little delicate and obviously mortally hungover as well. And I was quite prepared for this familiar film that I've seen so many times before to of all is feeling a little uh delicate and obviously mortally hungover as well and i was quite prepared for this familiar film that i've seen so many times before to wrap me up inside its bosom like a blanket like a safety net that's quite interesting because i have comfort films like that as well and i i mean grown-ups 2 definitely doesn't fall into that category but i understand that sort of relationship with something like i would say i've watched taken

almost as much as i've watched grown-ups 2 there was a while whenever i was hungover i just watched take it and it was seen it what i've never seen take it's a really good time it's sort of it's it's that it's got that blanket effect it wraps you up you feel safe you know you're in safe hands i would argue though that is that because of liam neeson like you just trust him implicitly you've kind of confused the role of his character in the film and the role of the movie in your life if you see what i'm saying i i kind of gently understand what you're saying just for for clarity as well i am once again today mortally hungover my brain is not moving at full speed whoa that's a noisy car yeah all right uh yeah so just to give you an idea as well where we're broadcasting from right now we're on the uh corner of Taranaki and Wakefield Streets.

We're going to get this light, by the way. Are we going to? Yeah, yeah. Jesus, alright. We're walking past... No, don't run. We don't need to run. You're making us look dumb.

I don't want to get hit by a bloody car in Wellington. We're walking past the gas station, heading straight for the waterfront. I think it's going to be a nice walk. Yeah. So, yeah, during the during the movie you for some reason were looking forward to it and then how long do you think it took before you realized how fucking stupid that was and you were hating yourself again initial opening shot of the beautiful sweeping camera pan going over the trees of Minnesota Connecticut uh and and then

when as soon as that deer starts peeing I I'm out. I am pissed off again. That's right. I'm in a bad way. And we probably watched, like we watched it properly, I'd say, the first half hour. Oh, at least. Yeah, 45 minutes. Then the looming threat of an angry girlfriend in a red wine stain sort of distracted us. I mean, at one point we had a vacuum cleaner and a hairdryer on the stain,

and it was really, I mean, it was too noisy to hear any of the dialogue. I mean, look, I don't want to toot my own trumpet, but I feel like I really took charge of that situation and started running a complicated multi-pronged attack. I would describe it as complicated, yes. I do think you did take charge as well, actually. I think in a crisis situation, that's when old Timbo comes into his own. This red wine stain didn't know what fucking hit it.

We were coming at it from all angles. It's a bit of baking soda. It's a bit of soda water. It's a bit of vacuum. It's a hairdryer. It's salt. It's regular water. It's a sponge.

Turns out it didn't lift the stain, though. It is still there. I think if you think we just embedded the stain deeper in the carpet. Well, what you did do, interestingly, with the soda water and the baking soda powder on it, is you managed to fuse the fibre of the carpet together, so it was in a far worse condition than when we started. All right, easy now. Yeah. But getting back to grown-ups...

I hope Sophie and Fergus don't listen to this. Getting back to grown-ups too for a second, mate. So, look, 45 minutes. Did anything jut out to you this watch, not numero 11-0, that hasn't been caught? Nothing in particular really that I hadn't noticed before. I am watching more the background of shots now. Like there was one thing I did notice,

one moment when I could see Chris Rock's insides dying a little bit, was there's a scene where David Spade teaches Colin Quinn, who works in an ice cream shop, how to fix his ice cream machine. And the gag is, it's a sight gag. It looks like Colin... Oh, look at that crocodile bike, by the way, mate. Yeah, that is. Look here.

Oh, my God. Oh. Is that a... Uh-oh. Trouble in family paradise. That crocodile bike is not the unifying experience we'd hoped for. Hey, bro. Do you know I've been inside that boat?

I didn't know that. Um, did that little girl just stop the crocodile bike because she screamed fuck really loud? I'm not sure. I think that's what, I think she said Jesus fuck and then the dad hit the brakes on that thing. I think that's what we just walked past. I think she looked scared. Yeah, because she knew what she said after she said it.

Look at them, they're spread across. This is really weird. Oh, Jesus, we're in the middle of something. Sorry, you were saying? Chris Rock? Oh, yeah, Chris Rock. So, David Spade, yeah, it's a joke. It looks like someone's doing a big poo out of an ice cream machine, right? Yeah.

And in the background, like, so you get the shot of that, and then you get the shot of the people watching on and laughing, like, ha, ha, ha, this is so funny, we're having a good time. And Chris Rock is being located at the back of this shot. Yeah. And he's just, I mean, he's really superfluous, all right? You can barely even see him. Doesn't have a line.

But when you do see him, doesn't have a line, nothing. When you do see him, you can see in his eyes. He's just like, oh, I don't need to be on set today. I really shouldn't, I'm Chris fucking Rock. I'm one of the best stand-up comedians of all time. Yeah. I don't need this. Yeah.

And that's one thing that did jut out to me. What about you? Well, there was a moment that I saw in this viewing where Adam Sandler is trying to explain to his wife, Selma Hayek, that the reason he doesn't want to do a lot of stuff today, go out and see Becky, Donna, Becky, Becky's ballet recital, et cetera, is because this is the first time he's managed to relax in his life,

that he's not working since high school. He says, this is the first time I haven't had a job. And she just steamrolls it. And I felt sorry for Adam Sandler in that moment because it's right at the start of the film before you find out that he's a fucking dick. If you're familiar with any of our previous podcasts, you'll know that for Tim Batt to be feeling sympathy for Adam Sandler

in this movie is really something, because you are. Big deal, big deal. But it's only brief, it's only briefly lived. But I just think that, you know, they're in a marriage, they've got kids together, they've been together obviously for at least sort of 14, 15 years, judging by the age of the kids. And it upsets me that Salma Hayek's character just steamrolls over one genuine moment of vulnerability that Adam Sandler has in the film. It's sort of like a little,

it's a red flag for the way the characters treat each other throughout the whole movie. This is not a nice town. No. These people, it sort of dictates how everyone communicates

with each other. And the way they communicate with each other is poorly. It's through insults. It's not like in New Zealand, though, where you sort of, there's an undercurrent of love to everything. You know, you tear your friends down but it's understood at the end of the day we all get along and we're

very firm friends. These are just people being mean to each other and since it's such a small town, they have no choice but to keep hanging out with the same miserable people. I hear you. You did right. And it makes an interesting viewing of the film and by interesting i mean horrible because you can't gravitate towards any character because they're all as terrible as each other no except do you know what except david spade david spade higgins may be the star of this movie this may be a new thing we haven't clicked on i think we've touched on david spade before we have a little bit but maybe not in the depth that he deserves because if you think about it he's the one character where there's a bit of an emotional core to his story arc.

He's got a son he's just found out about. He's genuinely trying to make a crack out of it. He knows that as a father there's certain responsibilities that he's now... Yeah, but you think... What's the first thing he does when he finds out he's got a son? He lies. He tells his son that he's doing something so that he doesn't have to look after him for the day. It's dad talk. Dad's lie. It's dad talk.

I guess there's an element of truth in this. We are now... Where are we? We're crossing... I don't know what this bridge is called, but... There's a whole lot of funky wood stuff. It's the bridge that you go over that takes you from the waterfront to the Civic Square. We're currently looking at Wellington Central City Library to our north, to our east. It's actually quite a nice spot we've found here. Yeah, that's the art gallery over there.

That's the art gallery, that's the library. Shall we go pop a squat on the stairs down there? That's a quite essentially Wellington thing to be looking at. The fern ball there, the metal fern ball in the middle. I'm absolutely positively keen for an authentic Wellington experience. I hope we get commission from the council for that plug. You know what? When we originally

tried to do the record for this week, God, it was a stonker. I can't stress that enough. But also, we did like a Hekoi-style journey through Wellington toward Parliament. Should we do it now? I don't know if I've got the time. I've got lunch plans, mate. Oh, fuck. I mean, what we wanted to do, and what we did do, but obviously I don't know if I've got the time. I've got lunch plans, mate. Oh, fuck.

I've got lunch plans. Well, I mean, what we wanted to do and what we did do, but obviously we don't have the evidence for you, is we took this conversation, and it is an important conversation, and we are having it weekly, we took it to the beating heart of New Zealand. We took it to the beehive where all of the busy bees, they flit around and they swarm the hive.

See, I think you've been you've been taken in by the name the beehive man it's just it's like it's it's just in reference to what the building looks like no i understand that what they they function essentially as a as a community of of bees and obviously john key's the queen bee and all the bees they come in every day and they they make honey for john. They feed him honey. Johnkey's just sitting on a big 10-litre tub of honey in there. No, see, I think you've been thrown off because it's called the Beehive because architecturally it's kind of interesting. But it's not how it functions on the inside.

I mean, we could sit here and speculate about New Zealand politics all day. What was your shining light in the film this week, Tim? So something that was interesting is that it had been 8 days since we last saw the film and it really felt like fresh eyes that we were bringing to the viewing this week. All it takes is a day out of sync and suddenly it's a whole new movie. I know. And actually

I think I may be stealing a comment that you made in our original attempt at this podcast this week but John Lovitz like a return to form John Lovitz like a return to form John Lovitz he hasn't changed I've changed

I acknowledge that but just seeing him come through again you're like yeah he is John Lovitz I was in hysterics at John Lovitz in the movie this week

talented sharp knife cutting through the terribleness of the film I believe you speculated that you think all of his lines that made the final cut were ad-libbed lines

oh yeah 100% there's no way that Sandler came up with that shit it's gold it's too good he is because i was thinking i was enjoying it but he's he is of all of them probably one of the most deplorable characters he is an absolute sexual pervert and a creep yeah but they're not trying to present him as anything but like that's the thing with the other characters it's like the movie's trying to go oh look at these lovable larrikins but it accidentally reveals that all of them are cunts. Whereas John Lovitz is like, check out this cunt, and I'm like, that guy is a cunt.

That's beautiful. No, actually, that was... Sorry for the C-bombs, by the way. That was a lot of C-bombs. No, that was actually very succinctly and accurately put. That was bang on the nose. Well, look, after 11 watches, I'm getting pretty good at reviewing this film

and taking it apart. Nuts and bolts. I did an interview with someone where I was shamelessly plugging the podcast and somehow I did something similar where I didn't know I could do it but it just came out of me like a perfect little two-sentence nugget

of a summation of what the movie is and why I don't like it. Yeah, what did you say? Do you remember? No. Or were you in the zone at the time? I was in the zone at the time. I'm here with Guy Montgomery,

Billy T nominee for 2014. Guy, what do you do when you're not doing stand-up? I actually have a podcast with my friend Tim Batt. He's also nominated for the Billy T this year. It's called The Worst Idea of All Time. Just briefly, just really briefly, can you tell me what the podcast is exactly? Yeah, well, we watch Grown Ups 2 every week and review it. So it's the same movie every week.

And it's just, it's, it's, I can't do it. I can't generate this. Sorry, mate. Nice the same movie every week. And it's just, it's, I can't do it. I can't generate this. Sorry, mate. Nice little role play, though. You're not as good an actor as Kevin James, clearly. Kevin James is still my least, I think he's my least favorite character.

Higgins is my fave. Whatever Kevin James' character's name. I haven't even bothered to remember. Lamansoff. Lamansoff. He runs the, damn near the best auto body parts shop in town or some garbage.

It is what he tells Taylor Lautner, isn't it? Who's in the movie. If I might move away from the movie just briefly, Tim, how are you enjoying your time down here in Wellington? Just gorgeous. I mean, has this weather not really turned it up for the fest? It's an absolute treat. It's great to be here.

Some people will know this. Grew up in Wellington. Did all's an absolute treat. It's great to be here. Some people will know this. Grew up in Wellington. Did all my high schooling here. It's great to be back. Seeing some people I haven't seen in many, many years. And yeah, you're dead right about the weather, mate. Couldn't be better. And that's what people want to hear when they tune into a podcast.

What's the weather doing in a place I don't live, probably? Yeah, well, I think it's a real triumph. Because you would have thought we got very lucky on the Wednesday to do an outdoor roving podcast. You wouldn't get two days in warrington where that was an option but i mean we could have quite we could have feasibly done this on any day of the week it's been so good i want to ask you a question guy um do you do you think that we will need to watch the movie again this week because to clarify the reason i don't want to get to the end of the year and say

I've seen the movie when the Guinness Book of World Records comes along and they're verifying our record and they listen to episode 11

and they say you know technically technicality mate well Tim so I think we need to just make absolutely sure that we have watched it

because we are it's an important part of this podcast that we're very disciplined about watching some people ask and we often get these questions, do you actually watch every week? I can assure you, hand on heart, we are watching this film every single fucking week.

That's correct, actually. I think, well, in that vein, Tim, I think we do have to watch it again. I mean, it's going to be weird, though, because we're not going to do a podcast afterwards. It's just going to, that's probably going to make it. Well, it'll feed going to make it the podcast sort of at least lends purpose to watching the movie, if we just watch the movie and don't it's just like

cinematic self-flagellation we're just having a shit time together no it's awful, there's no doubt about it but I think it's got to be done and then we will have watched it 52 and a half times and um at the end of the year, obviously, not yet. And what was the other thing I was going to say is,

that's going to make for a real shit, yeah, that's going to make for a real dugger next week. Because, what is it, Friday? What, say we return to form and record the next one on Monday? Yeah, we should be doing that. So that means that we're going to watch the movie twice in the span of three or four days. I don't think that's good for your mental health. Imagine that.

Danger, danger. Good God. Oh, what a what a crippling realize that hey you know it would be funny though if we booked out a four-hour slot and which watched it twice back to back oh good lord i think that's the concept i think that's oh my god are we that's week 12 down we're gonna double down on week 12 so here you go so this is fun to back. Front to back. We're going to watch Grown Ups 2 back to back, all right? This is the tease for episode 12 next week. Holy shit. What have I done? In a courageous return to form, Tim and Guy sit down and watch Grown Ups 2 back to back.

Grown Ups 2 times 2. That's coming up in week 12. In the meantime, Tim, do you want to plug anything? No. All right. Do you? time tim do you want to plug anything uh uh no all right i want to say if i don't make it back to the podcast next week because i'm fucking doing this stupid double billing that i love my family i love all of my friends and um and thanks to anyone who's bought a ticket to either of our comedy shows that's very nice of you i'll be really astraying from the movie in these podcasts now you know no we covered them we got fuck if you listen back to this this is loaded with nuggets

there's a level of insight going into grown-ups too on this podcast which it doesn't deserve or warrant and i'm pretty sure they didn't want but that's what happens here on the worst audio of all time i'm going montgomery and wellington i'm tim bat signing off for another week don't watch the movie for the love of god and like the Facebook page certainly don't double bill it don't double bill it oh my god unless well maybe this is like

the drinking game maybe if you if you want to have an experience and say I it's like people who inflict stigmata on themselves

because they want to be closer to Christ if you want to be closer to me and Guy double bill it I fucking dare you don't do it no I can't go through with it

you can't do that Don't watch the movie. Stop recording. This is going off the rails. Alright, take care. Lots of love. I'm gonna push the button right. I'm gonna push it.