The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E16: Knife

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:It's Winter, it's Queens Birthday Weekend. The stage is set. A roaring fire. A glass of red. An apple crumble (made from scratch by Tim). The lads have set in to discuss Grown Ups 2, a recent near death experience of Guy's, the radioactivity of bananas and Tim's brand new knife. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 16, you got Guy here just dropping by for a reflective preamble. Headlines, I would say, this episode is the birth of the knife, Tim's status as a knife guy. I was as shocked to hear it today as I was on the air, if that's what you call it today as I was on the air, if that's what you call what it is to record a podcast. I'm really taken by just how frequently we love John Lovett, so I don't know if on the odds we're slagging him off, but he's basically our North Star for this entire season so far. I've come back from a really nice little trip actually with some friends on this one, and it gave me a huge nostalgia kick I could remember the van everything that was described I can remember the I give quite

an impassioned plea not to text and drive um and we're we're hammering Facebook you know we're dating ourselves in a wide variety of ways we receive our first pledge, our first donation, and Tim's sort of wind and dine me. It's just a couple of guys at the office watching Grown Ups 2. Because before you know it, your precious time slips away Hello, welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time with myself, Guy Montgomery. And me, Tim Batt. I felt like you were going to say Lambourne for a second there. I forgot my own last name. Sometimes it's hard even for me to tell which one I am. We're joining you on a reasonably cool Monday evening,

the Monday of Queen's birthday. I hope you've had a fantastic long weekend. We have a small glass of red wine each. And a happy birthday to you, Lizzie. 88 in June. Well, 89 in June. She's 88 now. There was a fire for a little bit. Tim, you made some

crumbles. A controlled fire. It wasn't like just some fire that happened. It was in a fireplace. Some crumble. Yeah, you made some crumble. A controlled fire. A controlled fire, yeah. It wasn't like just some fire that happened. It was in a fireplace. Some crumble. Yeah, I made apple crumble. Did you like it? It went down well. I was worried.

I had one mouth but it was too hot and I couldn't get all the flavours in my mouth. I know. And then after that I was worried that you might have made a shit crumble and then I was going to have to awkwardly get through it and be like, oh, it's really great. You can tell me if it's a shit crumble. But then I kept eating it.

It was delicious. You did a really good job. But we've gone through so much together. You can tell me if it's a shit crumble. But then I kept eating it. It was delicious. You did a really good job. But we've gone through so much together. You can tell me if I make a terrible crumble, man. I know. Look, just right off the bat, something I would like to share. We got a lovely message today on the Facebook page from a man named... One moment, because you always have me up about this.

This is the Worst Idea of All Time podcast, a podcast in which myself and Guy Montgomery watch the movie Grown Ups 2 every week for a year. This is episode 16, which means we've been watching the movie for four months. Wow. Is that right? That is correct.

And it was a quick turnaround this week. Our schedules have been clashing, so we watched last week's one on a Thursday to Monday. There's not much time in between to replenish. No, sir. And your bloody TV, some guy's giving an old oscar speech it's flicked on to the next thing that's on the um this is let's not talk too much about the medium through which we're watching the film that was cool you did it on your phone

yeah it's good anyway but anyway so we got a comment today Rowan Strang Hello Rowan Yesterday I listened to every episode for the first time Now I'm madly in love with the podcast I've hated Grown Ups 2 since it bested Pacific Rim at the box office And derailed any chances of a sequel However now I'm starting to love the film I'm tempted to watch it But I think I might wait until I've heard the 52nd episode

Keep up the good work Rowan This is the sort of message that we increasingly need week to week yeah man especially this week this week more than most

that was really good from Raoul thank you Rowan thanks Rowan any other messages of support or opinions or discussion ideas obviously you can get them

through to us at the Facebook page because we need it we do and also actually a big shout out to Sophie Dawson who Dawson to sophie dawson who who dowson dawson sophie dowson who promised me five dollars if i gave her a shout out so this is the

first money making venture we've had in the podcast we've got a sponsor high five it's our first sponsor we're following the path we're like grown-ups too now that is correct we're doing it for a paycheck anyway now into the movie uh tim this is a no. Anyway, now, into the movie. Tim, this is a no-nonsense, no-frills approach to the watch. We just came in here, you know, both reasonably well-rested from the long weekend, just sat down, strapped ourselves in for a bit of Grown Ups 2. Oh, yeah. How did you find the movie today? Oh, yeah.

You know what I like to do with my long weekend? Light a fire, get that ample crumble out of the oven, pour myself a glass of red and chuck on grown ups too and let me tell you something guy horrible decision I fucking hate this movie there's actually three of those four things

that are a formula for a lovely night in god damn it for a lovely girlfriend but instead you have your surrogate girlfriend you and the glue

in our relationship I mean did you take anything from it did you oh man from it did you oh man nah we both at the end of it

we were both worried we wouldn't have anything to talk about I'm just like sometimes I can kind of appreciate the absurdity of the project our project

not the project of the film that they made but not this week this week I was just pissed off again that we had to watch it what were you pissed off about

tell me all the times you felt pissed off. Well, it probably started with the deer. I'm okay with the terrific at the start, but that's just the production film insert. But pretty much everything after that point is downhill for me. Did you laugh? You had a few laugh points tonight, I think. Yeah, I liked my flatmate Nick was here, and he had a few genuine belly laughs. And I was like, oh, that's right, I remember a time

when some of this was good. John Lovitz, he'll never get old. The day that he gets old, that's when we've watched it too many times. Some would say that we've already watched it too many times, I would argue no. Not until John Lovitz stops being funny to me. He's become less consistently funny for me. There is real value

in having fresh eyes on the movie in the room. That's what I find that enlivens the viewing experience for me. I said it before, I'll say it again because then you get to consider the movie

through virgin eyes. Because you've got such a strong sense of empathy, guy, as a person. So you take on the energy. You're like Rogue

in X-Men which is a movie I did see the other day and shit, it was good especially when you compare it to this movie i have to see every way do you worry do you ever worry do you see x-men yet and i'm not going to real good it's not really my cup of tea it's it's but do you do you worry that your your ability to measure and judge other movies has been negatively impacted by like you've lost perspective that's a great question i'm glad you've brought that up

because i've always been a fan of reasonably shit films like some of my favorite movies i can completely admit that they're terrible give us examples van wilder party liaison yeah love it how many times have you watched it probably probably probably 20 that's a lot that's a lot Yeah Oh maybe 15 Somewhere between Somewhere between 10 and 20 And I reckon closer to 20

When's the last time you watched it? Fucking ages ago Way too long ago Like 3 years maybe There you go You've aged a lot since then Yeah I don't know

I don't know if it would have aged well Oh the film Oh yeah but it was bad to Thank you It was bad to begin with Like it's bad to begin with. Like, it's bad. It's very bad. It's a bad movie.

But Ryan Reynolds is so undeniably charming. But that's what this movie lacks. A main character that you can get on board with. You can get on board with Peter Dante, the co-policeman to Shaquille O'Neal. You can get on board with a lot of the periphery characters. Yeah, Peter Dante's great, man. Love Peter Dante. So do you think this is a fundamental flaw in the film?

I think this is one of the few angles we haven't explored yet, is that the split protagonist, the four, it is essentially four leads, isn't it? Four male leads, the four friends. We'll go through the problems with everyone. Adam Sandler, unlikable, and you know that he wrote the film, so you know that he's responsible for this hot mess, and it doesn't make any sense

so immediately you kind of project that onto the character a hot mess for me has positive connotations a hot mess is like like a hot mess for me is like something

which is it's rough around the edges but you can see there's a fire burning within it which is sort of like yeah I use it that way too but I just use it

indiscriminately so get on board okay Kevin James is his character Laminsoff deplorable

just outright deplorable that is the right word for him now we got Chris Rock who just decided not to act in this film he was just like

meh I'll take the paycheck I'll turn up but I'd rather not do the work if it's all the same and it turns out it is all the same

because you didn't act and you still got paid that's right we even spotted one thing we hadn't seen before oh god such specific details to a movie

which I'm pretty sure 90% of our listeners haven't seen I hear there's one scene where there's like really heavily dubbed laughter post production laughter

happening and you watch it's just Chris Rock's back and Chris Rock isn't even moving. He's like vibrating a little bit. Definitely not him laughing. He didn't even have to sell the laugh with his face,

just his body. Like, if you look at me now, Tim, I've got my back to you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you could be like, you're not laughing, but you look like you could be. Look at me, look at me right now.

You couldn't be laughing. You're just still. Yeah. That's Chris Rock. And then David Spade, who we all agreed tonight, is just a likeable guy. Oh, yeah.

We love Higgins. But I guess we like Higgins. But he's definitely not the main character. Yeah, well, to return to my original question, I was a bit of a banana. Get that on you, boy. I mean, do you think that this movie If they picked out

I want to tell you a fact though about bananas Do you know they're the most radioactive fruit No I didn't know that It's true Sorry what were you going to say I'm really stumbling into some great stuff here And you're bloody throwing banana chanel Bananas are so radioactive that when they're taking

Banana trucks across the border From Mexico to America, they trip up the radiation alarms when they have a whole truck of them in together. No. Do you eat bananas? Yep. I'm into them, bro. You told me you think I eat too many bananas. I said they give you cancer.

It was a scare tactic, wasn't it? Yeah, totally. But that is true that they're the most radioactive. The question I was trying to posit, Tim, is do you think this movie could work if they picked one of those four lead characters and chose to make them a genuine focal point in the movie? So we followed their day

and the others were more on the periphery. Or do you think this movie is just so inherently bad? Wouldn't you agree that they did? Like they tried that with Adam Sandler and it was just a swing and a miss? No no because we're not sitting here saying he's definitely the protagonist he got the most screen time but he's not a protagonist yeah i i think i think i'm just theorizing here again it's all shit so you think it's too much of a split well there's a lot of things wrong with the film i think we can all even those of you listening who have never seen

the movie we can all agree there's a lot wrong with it. But your main gripe is that there's no central thread. No, it's not even a main gripe. I was just trying to, I was just trying to sort of stoke the conversational fire. I do think that Adam Sandler

is the main protagonist in this film. We start with him, we end with him, we explore his family the most, we go through the struggles of his relationship with his wife. We start with him, we end with him, we explore his family the most, we go through the struggles of his relationship with his wife.

There was a very, there's a, when Adam Sandler, he's, they're having a dinner, I think I've stuck up for him in this one speech before. They're about to have dinner.

Mm. It's him and his, it's just after he's broken his son's leg and they're all sitting around the table and he does, he says one mean thing

to Salma Hayek but otherwise it's quite a heartfelt and reasonably pleasant little sort of... Do you know what it is? Let's be grateful for each other in this meal. He's saying grace, but he's doing it in a way that won't offend atheists so that the movie can be sold to everyone. Because Christians watching this film will go,

oh, he's saying grace before they eat their meal. But he never actually mentions God, so it's like a pseudo-religious they tuck in it's rubbish no it's not because in america they're all about they love their god especially the midwest where this movie would have been like targeted to that beltway you know you reckon this movie was targeted at the midwest yeah specifically well just like you know that type of it's middle america and middle american family yeah well let's go to the cineplex and watch the latest adam sandler movie that that does sound Just like, you know, that type of suburban, middle American family. Nothing to do. Yeah. Let's go to the Cineplex and watch the latest Adam Sandler movie.

That does sound like a real situation. Publicity machine is shoving down our throat. That sounds like a real thing. And so, like, they will say, and also that mention of the troops that's ham-fistedly thrown in at the end. It's all these little checkpoints that people go, oh, yeah, that relates to my cultural values. It's an American movie. Yeah. A few American flags in there.

Yeah. But what I like. Basketball hero. What I like is that I reckon they've suggested that the teacher, the English teacher? Do we know what subject he teaches? Nah. The hippie one. I reckon he sounds like he was a real draft dodger back in the day. Like he's old enough that he could have gone to NAMM, but he fucked off.

I've invented backstories for everyone at this point I got bored yeah you gotta do it yep do you have a shining light this week bro shining light

I was kind of struggling shining light I was struggling the shining light is the bit of the film that we experienced on this watch which we liked

summer is here man probably summer is here man look i don't have one i'm just throwing something out there same teach we were just talking about the tim's draft dodger uh big physical gag i did actually it resonated with me the most that it has so far because you kept calling that big david spade spinning through the town on a wheel gag simpsons-esque and i thought it was vaguely simpsons-esque but it wasn't until you actually went to trouble of highlight because i'm always just sort of brain dead through the whole experience yeah you highlighted that it's because it checks off every character much like the opening Simpson

like the couch gigs no don't skip over it because these people haven't heard what we were talking about I have these people listen to all the podcasts no no but I mean like they didn't hear us in the room an hour ago when well and whose. Well, and whose fault is that, Tim? What I was saying is, there's a scene where Higgins gets in a tyre when they're supposed to be at work in the garage, in Lamansoft's garage, and he's supposed to be caught by Adam Sandler, but Adam Sandler takes a phone call,

and so he rides through the whole town inside a tyre. And it was probably my favourite bit of the film this week. It's my shining light. And it's Simpsons-esque because, as you say, every character's there and it's just got such a pace to it and there's so many little physical gags.

Do you think if you could pull out any segment of the movie and you had to show it to someone to try and say, please watch this movie, so you just get that you pull out one bit from the movie, one cohesive bit as a whole, and you say i know i got a bad rap and i know i've said some bad things about it before but you might like it what bit would you pull out and show someone the ballet scene what i'd be trying to warn them in disguise to not see it i see so you'd be doing like someone's got a gun to my head. I want you to be honourable. Okay.

You want me to honestly trick someone? I want you to trick someone. Okay. Because for me... Yes. It would just be the gym teacher saying, who wants to watch me climb a rope? That is like three seconds. Well, I know.

We don't have a lot to work with here, Tim. But if you showed that to anyone, that is a standalone, funny... Oh, God. That's just good comedy. And now all you can think about is how right I am and how no other part of the movie. Well, I was trying to think of the ice cream scene,

but cut it off before he starts looking like he's crapping into the ice cream sundae machine. So what, just delete him when Adam suddenly yells at his kid? Yeah, I know. See, there's problems with everything. Oh, maybe the car wash scene because it's got Andy Samberg in it, who I like. I see. to lead in when Adam suddenly yells at his kid yeah I know see there's problems with everything um oh maybe the car wash thing because it's got

Andy Samberg in it who I like I see maybe that you could take a little bit of that just all of the characters and be like

show it to someone and they'd be like oh I wonder I wonder how I wonder I wonder if this will be good how's your week been

anyway guy yeah good mate I had a lovely long weekend in Rotota Weeti. How is Rota Eeti? I don't know if I've ever been there. It's really cool. It's smell, the sulphur is really strong.

But you sort of acclimatise very quickly and so it's no longer a smell that you notice. I had a really cool time. We went out for a kayak, found some sort of natural hot pools. Cool. You dig into the rocks and it gets hotter the further down you go wow yeah that's awesome that sounds real cool it was great uh what a juxtaposition for this film mate you were in god's moments ago half i drove back in a van today yeah we almost got killed in the van Oh tell me that story The guy driving it

Was just mindlessly checking We were already sort of Touch and go Energy wise we'll say I was going to say In terms of legality Because there's no seats In the back of the van

There's just sort of a big bed And there were five of us back there Five men Big bulky men You've seen me with my shirt off. And then in the front seat there was Charlotte, the lovely Charlotte, whose van it is, and Johnny, who was driving the van because Charlotte was tired.

And Johnny looked at his phone, and then we were all just sort of looking around, talking to each other, having a whale of a time back there. And suddenly we're in like a 30-meter skid. We just hear Charlotte go, Johnny! And then we're in a 30-meter skid. Whoa. And then we look up and 30 metre skid whoa and then like we look up

and it's just the reeks of burnt rubber and there's this huge like backlog of traffic and we're like we're outside of so here's this lane there's two lanes

yeah and we're on the outside like in between the fucking lane and the grass okay it was like it was full on

adrenaline rush man wait so what had happened had Johnny turned out? He just looked at his phone Like a fuckwit Oh listen If you take one thing away From the podcast

Don't text and drive For the love of god And then anyway So I sat in this van For five hours Just tangled up in men And there was only A half hour turnaround

Between arriving in Auckland And coming around to your place And watching the film But you were lovely tonight You did the crumble The wine The fire You really picked me up Oh that's good man I'm glad I could be here for you I haven't been coming around to your place and watching the film, but you were lovely tonight. You did the crumble, the wine, the fire. You really picked me up.

Oh, that's good, man. I'm glad I could be here for you. How was your long weekend? It was really lovely, man. I started off Friday with a hiss and a roar. I got drunker than I've been in quite some time. And people tried to, I think people were getting a bit worried about me

because I was dancing. And people were like, Tim's out of control. Not a natural movement. Also, it's been a rollercoaster of a couple of days this long weekend because I bought a knife and then I lost it really quickly. But then I was talking about it on the radio show that I do on a Saturday morning and someone texted me going, no, no, it's here, mate. It's at home.

You left it at home. I was like, oh, sweet. So I was real stoked. Why did you buy a knife? Oh, a dairy shut down on Queen Street that's been there for 24 years. And I like to support local business, so I bought a knife from them. It's a cool knife, though. Have you seen it?

It's weird, bro. I don't like the idea of you being a knife guy. That's the knife. What are you going to do with that? I don't know, man. Just carry it around. I'm going to be a knife guy now. That's not how good things happen

It's good eh? They don't start by just buying a cut A cut price knife Real careful though Don't do that Do that Just run your thumb across it You'll see how sharp it is

This is not a visual podcast mate This is no good to us Or the listener It's not a switchblade We agreed to do a top three this week Tim Yeah man Top three Top three knives

Top three pieces of product placement In the film Do you want to start? Do you want to take Three in one or two? Well I think we all have to agree That number one is Kmart Oh yeah

There's no way around it Oh yeah And then I actually quite liked Tropicana's product placement Oh nice Supermarket scenes Good scene The whole row of juice

Just sitting down in the bottom left of shot There's some good lines in there It made me thirsty for juice I mean that's what the product placement is there to do it's there to advertise the product as a big tick geek guy big nerd I like the fact that Sony via is so prominent in the film because that's a brand that doesn't exist anymore it was the label that Sony put on their computer line they called them Vio but they stopped making them last year not a good product

RIP no they're a fine product just Sony decided to not market them as Vio anymore so now they're just called Sony computers, Sony laptops or maybe they stopped making computers, can't remember but at any rate Vio the brand is gone but it's in the film so it's like captured in time

so that's number two for me so boring it's in there such a weird thing to know it's in there listen to you you're ranting about former computer put your knife away i'm gonna go back to the knife oh man i don't know we must be close to 20 i reckon let's hit it and quit it nah bro there's more there's more juice in this uh grape what do you got you have to provide it because I'm saying let's get out of here. The thing about the film is you shouldn't watch it. And I know we say this every week, but some people, they want to defy us.

And it was on Sky Movies. I think Sky Movies works in cycles. I think there's going to be a lot of opportunities to watch it. If it works with our schedules, you had a great idea, Tim. Twitter party. Twitter party, yeah. If it works with our schedules, you had a great idea, Tim. Twitter party. Twitter party, yeah. If we can figure out an appropriate time, we'll advertise it on the Facebook that it's playing on the Sky movies.

It would be quite good to do a week's screening and see if anyone else is free, and we could get everyone on Twitter. Yeah, I'd be into that. I'd be big into that. Because the thing is, I'm really unhappy about the film and the fact that we have to watch it so many times. So we need a little fuel from you guys. I need to borrow from your energy.

We love it when you... Please, if you do listen to the podcast, jump on that Facebook. And if you haven't liked it, go and like it. And if you haven't commented, leave a little comment or something. You sound too desperate. I know I do, but I need some. Come on, we're meant to be coy. We're the cool guys sitting in your lounge.

I'm not cool. Real close together on a couch. There's nothing cool about it. Three pillows and a blanket muffling our microphone. The only cool thing about it is this knife. Okay. I'm going to call it. I'm going to say that's enough for this week.

Hey, thanks so much for listening. I've going to say that's enough for this week. Hey, thank you so much for listening. I've been Guy Montgomery. I've been Tim Batt. And we'll see you next week for number 17. This is the knife saying bye. That really worked. Feel that moment Love every day

Cause before you know it Your precious time slips away Thank you.