The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E21: Stye

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Guy continues his march through Europe. Tim is moving house. Nobody is happy. But the boys have been brought together by that gem of a comedy flick Grown Ups 2 one more time (and will again 31 more times). On the agenda today: eye styes, beethoven symphonies and the huge fight scene from Adam Sandler's induspitable worst film. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

oh man i did not remember this episode whatsoever guys in barcelona for this one are you kidding me i didn't remember that that's that's crazy and i i forgot all about this episode and i know that there is an episode coming up very soon which i believe was recorded on my birthday was it my 23rd 24th birthday and what i'd forgotten about is guy's glee at my depression of the forthcoming episode is what was held in my mind i forgot about the glee at which i took to guy in this episode at him having to take some time out of his incredibly limited schedule in beautiful barcelona to watch this movie so i'm gonna lay down my victim complex and say i brought that on myself that's on me i deserved it but ultimately hey this is this is two unhappy boys you're gonna hear some two uh you're gonna hear from two guys who just don't want to be here, don't want to be watching the movie.

And it's kind of a delight. We're not quite at the top of the hill yet, I guess you would say, but we're approaching the 50% mark. And this is the beginning of a very, what I remember to be, arduous period of Guy being overseas. And there was a lot of technical difficulties that I don't think made it onto the pod um but man man oh man two unhappy guys hey also what a fascinating thing hearing skype getting a

look in on this ep my god cannot believe that company couldn't capitalize on the pandemic um but here we are isn't it, the little relics we've forgotten about that were market leaders back in the day. Anyway, enjoy this episode of us being depressed. It is a, I would say, quintessential Worst Idea episode. Enjoy. Enjoy. Feel the moment, love every day Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away

Feel the moment Hello, welcome along to the worst idea of all time. My name's Guy Montgomery. And my name is Tim Batt. And we just watched Grown Ups 2 for the 21st time. And the second time this week we did a little catch-up because uh too much time passed since we saw the movie and actually we didn't mention this last podcast but i you said boy it's been a long time since i've seen this film

quite a funny quip from you guy how are you where are you i'm, thank you. I am currently in sunny Barcelona. If I look out my window, I can see some beautiful Spanish people going about their morning business. And I've got to tell you, it really hammers home the dire straits that we find ourselves in week after week, Tim. I hate this.

I like that I'm dragging part of your holiday down is all I wanted to say, because it sounds delightful. So I want to make it as least delightful as possible. I hate everything about what we're doing. I don't even, I don't even, there's nothing, there's no joy in that viewing. There's no joy in talking to you right now. Yeah.

I'm really like, I'm an unhappy person. Yeah. I'm on holiday and this is what, like this, I think really like, I'm an unhappy person. Yeah. I'm on holiday and this is what, like this, I think this is, if I was in New Zealand the whole year, I think being away is, is really what's starting,

what might be the end of me essentially in this, in this, in the context of this podcast. It's like to not be able to just get up and go march around Barcelona of my own volition whenever I want, because I have to fucking do this stupid fucking thing with you. Once a week, jackass. Why don't you call it for a second? You're on holiday. I'm only in Barcelona for a week, you know?

It's very difficult to get here from New Zealand. Every hour. You've got to live every moment. I know. You love every day. And I'm not loving every day.'ve got to live every moment. You know, you love every day. And I'm not loving every day. I'm not living every moment. Guy.

Anyway, how are you going, pal? You can afford to take 101 minutes out of your fantastic life at the moment. It's not. It's the time around the podcast, alright? It's waking up at 8.30 in the morning when I needed an extra half an hour of sleep. That throws out the whole rest of my day it's the 40 minutes of getting getting ready and then having the conversation with you afterwards do you know what i'm supposed to be

doing right now i'm supposed to be fucking moving house mate this is not ideal at all this is good this is a nice way to escape moving house moving house is a difficult thing to do yeah but it doesn't, like, stop it from happening. It just puts off when it will get done and makes it later, which makes it way shitter. All right. Well, look, I think we can agree that neither of us are happy with the situation. I was fucking furious when we were, like, getting kicked off.

I was like, this goddamn thing again. I brought a lot of anger to the viewing today yeah when i woke up when i woke up and i called you on skype i hope and it didn't work like twice and i just hoped beyond all hope that it just wouldn't work for whatever reason what like i was really that's where i was that's where i was at last week because i think I was trying to get in touch with you and you weren't on Skype and I was like

dear god may he not have an internet connection so we can just not do it this week but you were fucking there and it connected

and then we watched it and we did it and here we are again it's only been how many days since the last watch like four or five I think

not many oh no wait no no no because I put it out way later didn't I? That was the issue. I can't fucking remember. Anyway, look, it's unimportant.

So, Tim. Yeah. Seen the movie. Have you seen this new... Hey, Tim, have you seen this new Adam Sandler movie, Grown Ups 2? It's really great. Look, is that based on that first one

that's got all the famous comedians in it? Yeah, yeah, it's a sequel. It's sort of a light-hearted family romp through a small, middle-class American town. And I've got to tell you, the hijinks that these guys get up to make me question whether or not they're really grown-ups at all. Do you think that's where they got the name from, Guy Montgomery?

Well, I tell you what, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's no coincidence the movie's called Grown Ups 2, and the grown-ups, often they're behaving like children. And the children, well, they're behaving like children too. It's chaos, it's anarchy. So, if you had to sell me on a couple moments in this film, because there's a lot of great comedy films out there, Guy, and I'm just deciding, should I go and see Grown Ups 2 or not?

You know, I might go and see Ghostbusters for the 20th time. I might get that out again. Or I might get Ferris Bueller. Why should I get this video out? Ferris Bueller, it's old news, mate. It's old news. You want something new? You want something fresh?

You want to see a comedy that will feel like you've never seen before? And I'm talking specifically to you right now, Tim, Matt. You want to lay fresh eyes on some fresh, modern comedy which isn't remotely bigoted towards anyone. You want to watch this movie. It's interesting that you just unsolicited came up with the word unbigoted to describe this movie. That's not how most movies get described.

Yeah. I've run out of steam for this bizarre role play. You have not committed to the bit guy you bailed out early there was there was still legs in there i'm trying so hard um so like juice here you were awake for this whole watch which was something what was what was your emotional arc for the 101 minutes i was in a bad mood at the start and it got better as the movie went on. And actually, I found new joy in watching the fight scene just to see who does a bad job.

Like there was a real... Sorry, you go. There was some really bad fighting happening. You know the scene we talked about last week where the jock guy rips off tim meadows hair and he's like he gets really excited about he's bald yeah i've never watched the background of that before because i've been so absorbed in the comedy of that moment but there's um there's like a there's a lady there's a lady sort of beating up a guy and they're pretty much counting out the steps

like it's there's i looked at a lot of bad fighting that was probably the worst for mine yeah there's um there's there's fight scenes that I haven't noticed until this watch because I'm watching it on a laptop that's so close to my face. So when you're watching it on a TV, it's still the same resolution. It's still 1080p, but it's still glorious. I don't want anyone thinking we're watching

a glitchy version of Grown Ups 2. We're not watching standard def. Although, look look if there was a 4k version out there i would love to see it for no reason at all but point being um terrible fighting and we've brought that up before but like yeah you do you notice you notice new stuff when you're that close to the screen like real shatters yeah it's an interesting sort of what's going on with your eyes because i can see you we're on video skype right now it looks like you've you're on drugs or something man or is this just how you wake up i'm just waking up i know i've just watched grumps too i think i've got like a sty or something in my right eye yes it's looking a little bit red

but i probably it's because i it's because i keep rubbing it yeah it doesn't yeah do me a favor though come close to the camera put that eye close to the camera and then look to your left I think I know look the other way no no like tilt your whole head yeah that's that sort of thing yeah yeah like that okay no yeah no it's looking okay it's a little kind of red but yeah it'll be it'll be okay it'll be sweet hey man this this city is beautiful yeah by the way tell me about bar barcelona do they say barcelona or barcelona they say barcelona um just you get like beers just beers everywhere beer in the street for a euro or less, just walking around. Yesterday we went to the beach.

We just swam in the water, swam in the Mediterranean. Then we'd get up, we'd go and eat some tapas, drink some beer, we'd go for a walk, then we'd land back at the beach, fall asleep, wake up, go for a swim, get up, go eat some tapas, drink a beer, go for a walk. For a while. Wind up back at the beach. It's like watching grown-ups too, over and over. I'll have you know that yesterday I did a full day of work and then hosted a pub quiz and then walked home in the largest storm Auckland's had for the last 10 years

with a large backpack on my back and stopped midway at a McDonald's where at midnight a bunch of tourists started singing happy birthday to one of their party and it's the saddest i think i've ever felt that is so that is so you it's so uniquely you that you would the tragedy of that yeah just the large backpack in particular it's the detail it's that you got caught in a rainstorm not just in your clothes with a rain jacket on but carrying a large backpack presumably with some sort of electronic equipment in it you're the kind of guy who just needlessly rolls around town with

your electronic equipment and a large backpack in case you ever need it how's the quiz going by the way um it's fine it's fine you better hope the hope whoever books it doesn't listen to this podcast. He knows full well how I feel about it. No, no, it's good fun. It was pretty quiet last night because of the storm, but still had a solid eight or so teams. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Do you wisecrack? Yeah, I'm a pretty straight-laced quiz master, to be honest. I think that's important. I. I think that's important. I don't think that's important. You can make jokes, but you've got to make sure that you're delivering the quiz. Do you even write your own questions? Nah.

I've got a mate in Wellington, shout out to Nicky Boy if he's listening, who's been doing the Southern Cross quiz for the last five years and he writes them himself. He's fucking good at it. So I pay him a little bit of money, or the Bardads rather, and we buy his one and I deliver it. I do the music round though.

How do you expect to enjoy doing the pub quiz if you aren't even invested enough to write your own questions? Because I was invested enough to find a good writer of the pub quiz. You don't even care about the trivia you're spouting. Bullshit care a lot that's why i entrust it to nicky boy he's a smarter man than i keep you can't keep swatting through life half-assing everything too i can as long as i

pay people slightly more than i make along the way it's called clipping the ticket and i'll have you know it got me to where i am today oh man what are we doing i don't know man like that was a big question mark hanging over my head this watch um there's a lot of sadness a lot of sadness a lot of anger associated with this viewing it's i think i because i just wonder when it's going to turn like when it it yeah like when it's because it we're still climbing the mountain right yeah yeah yeah yeah and i wonder if at 26 when we're halfway through it will it will feel like a descent like the numbering could go up to 26 and then to keep our spirits high it could it could go back down so it goes 26 26 25 24 it's like we're taking steps back to

sanity until we can once again be released into society well something i was talking to my mate about um just before was um the specter of grown-ups 3 getting made and uh us watching it for two years when it gets released because we did promise that on this podcast. No, we didn't. We didn't. And we're not doing it. It's a stupid threat. That is a stupid, hollow threat you made. Look. Look at the lengths we're going to already to do this 52 times. 104 times to watch a sequel to a sequel that shouldn't have been made. Not going to happen. tell you what I did watch I can't remember if I said this in the last podcast, I watched a movie called

Down by Law I was trying to do that salesman technique where when you stop talking and the other person sweats it out until they agree with you but you did not come around, you just moved on and changed subjects but please tell me about this other movie I see straight through you too Matt

it was just really good it was really good what's it called again? Down by Law it's like three guys who sort of get wrongly imprisoned in New Orleans prison and it's all black and white Tom Waits is one of the guys

and then there's two other guys who are both very good at covering their names, and they break out of prison and run through the wilderness. Awesome. I pretty much told you the whole plot, but it's fucking good. That's right. I'm a Tom Waits fan,

big Tom Waits fan, so that'd be cool to watch him. But if you think about how quickly I summarised the plot of that film and how clear and succinct what was a very watchable and enjoyable film is versus how much garbage

they've stuffed into the fucking sack that has grown ups too. It tells you you don't need a lot. You don't need a dare, a CGI dare pissing on a teenage boy in a shower to make a good movie. Sometimes less is more, and sometimes a deer pissing is more. But this isn't one of those times.

It's true. Both have their merits. Even The Matrix, I think, would have a shorter logline. Is that what they're called? Like a little descriptor for the studio to get it financed than this piece of shit. We keep going back to this, but what is the movie about? what is Grown Ups 2 about? nothing really when you get down to it

it's about nothing some people argue it's about friendship but it's not because they're all cunts to each other pardon my French is it about is it about I mean is it about growing up? no it's not about friendship. Is it about... Is it about...

I mean, is it about growing up? No, it's not really, is it? Because there's no lessons learned. And no one changes. That's like a fundamental thing that's missing from this movie. There's no character development or a character arc.

No one improves. It's true. Even Taylor Lautner and his gang of fraternity boys who are supposedly the villains, they don't actually learn a lesson from the beatdown they get at that party. They all just run away

and probably, presumably, continue living their lives as they have been. Yeah, and also they don't even learn the lesson that don't take on old people because they're stronger than you think because the thing that scares them away at the end is the deer, not the old people's fighting abilities.

I don't even think it's the deer. I think it's the, I mean, what you don't really know until you see the deer take down Taylor Lawton is how much they have invested in Taylor as a leader. He is the be-all and end-all of their confidence en masse as a group. So he's like Ralph in Lord of the Flies. Is that the main guy's name? Yeah, there's Ralph, and there's Pig of the flies is that the main guy's name yeah there's ralph

no and there's piggy piggy isn't one other guy jack jack jack he's the leadership battles between jack and ralph yeah you're right so that's a good book so who yeah boy is it have you did you see the the play stage adaption of it in auckland i not it was on recently. I have seen it as a play. It's bloody good, man. It's a good production. Good production. Remember that time we went to the NZSO? Oh, that was nice.

Did we ever talk? We talked about that, eh? I don't think we did. Just before Guy left, we went to the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra performing some of Beethoven's symphonies, and the funniest thing that happened is we were a little little bit worse for where we'd had a couple of beers before going in but we were just you know excited about the performance but we were fine

um but going in after halftime just before the orchestra kicked up a guy who was on the opposite side of the room to us we were up on the balcony bit, just goes, yeah! Just before they started. And I could not stop laughing. It was like the funniest thing that you could say before an orchestra is about to perform Beethoven. Watching the symphony orchestra was a full-on experience.

Like, the whole atmosphere, it's very, it's not tense, but it's very, it's sort of, it's very it's not tense but it's very it's sort of it's prim it's um i find it contemplative yeah i mean the thing is when the when the music's going it's just you're just there because in a play or in a movie or something not this movie necessarily but you're you're absorbed in a story you're following you know something else but when the music's playing all you're in a concert you can still turn to someone or dance if you're absorbed in a story, you're following something else. But when the music's playing, and in a concert you can still turn to someone or dance, but if you're just sitting in a chair listening to classical music, to Beethoven no less, you're sort of an odyssey of thought.

You're just in your own brain. It's quite intense. People get real fucked off when you do start exploring external stimuli, like talking to your mates who are busting out a cell phone. We were whispered some funny things to each other during the performance yeah that woman didn't like me though that's okay that very eccentric composer too composers they are they are like bizarre you took issue with that man i think that's what all conductors are like but you seem to think that that guy was especially egotistical. I call him a composer.

God, I'm an idiot. Oh, yeah, conductor. Conductor, yeah. Conductor. It's just like all of the musicians... That Beethoven was so fucking full of himself. Yeah, that Beethoven had a real ego. No, but that conductor, he's like...

All of the musicians are just looking at their sheet music the whole time. They occasionally say once a minute, glance up at him to see what he's doing. He's just dancing up there for himself. And then, like, he took three encore bows at halftime for intermission. He's held me to that. There was rapturous applause. He'd walk off the stage. And then he'd come back out and bow again.

The applause continued. Walk off the stage. Come out and bow again. The applause continued. Walk off. It's like, it's halftime, mate. You've only done half your fucking job i look i think he's more important than you're giving him credit for it because i didn't i used to play a bit of trumpet and i didn't take it to like a very serious level but i remember the conductor playing a part in that when you play

with the band yeah orchestra but that's it was important it was a new shitty little school orchestra these are all professional musicians. They don't need this guy. They don't need a leader. He's the Taylor Lautner of their group. Maybe they do. God. Well, okay, so in like a rock band,

the percussionist keeps time, right? Like the drummer would keep time. But in an orchestra, you don't always have percussion going. So you need another guy to keep the rhythm. They had a guy on the timpani. Yeah, yeah, this time they did but i'm saying like you can't just just have a role which is conductor when there's no drums in a piece you know you gotta have a safety role just put someone in on triangle

where are we going with this you know this isn't related to the film we are we are like stretching our brains silly to avoid talking about the movie um hey shining light shining light i said it out loud to you because i was afraid i wouldn't remember it and i don't i said it do you remember that i said it yeah i know that's that's my shining light when it happened tits um i can't remember bro okay well then i had a backup which was when the head headmaster's doing his announcement, there's some funny signage in the background of some of the classrooms. One of them was like, history is great, was one of the whole posters,

and how much history do you know? And I was like, I hope these aren't real educational posters from America, and this is just an instance of how lazy the props department got at some point by just writing sentences and putting them on card and putting them on the wall in the background. I suspect it might be because Stanton High, which is the name of the high school where it is, home of the Puritans, go Puritans,

a lot of that looked undressed. So I'd be tempted to say that that's a real sign. Interesting. Do you think they used a real high school or do you think they are I reckon Stanton High is real in fact should I google it now because what I keep forgetting what state is the movie best in I think Connecticut we've been using it for a long time now it It was based on something, though. Did you ever watch Freaks and Geeks? Yeah, a long time ago.

That's a good one. That school looked very real, but that was a set. That show was set in Detroit, I think, but they shot in Los Angeles. And there's one goof where you can see a palm tree in the background of the shot. And if anyone knows anything about Detroit, you don't see palm trees in Detroit. Shattered the illusion of the world. What a bunch of fuckwits. Fuck. But they made a really good show. Whereas conversely, Grown Ups 2 is kind of the opposite where everything is almost visually flawless but there's no movie or plot behind it so

it's just like an empty facade an empty shell how many how many different ways can we come up to say that same thought i guess another hopefully another like 20 30 30 no what is that 21 31 i can't see a stanton high in connecticut there's one in Texas though. I'll just see if it's home of the Puritans. They don't need to have shot the film in Connecticut for it to be set there. Stanton High is home of the Buffaloes.

Go Buffaloes. They're all about school spirit in America. Hey Tim, what was your shining light? Let's get this thing over with. Funnily enough it was at the school as well because I noticed this time and it's probably on screen for about one and a half seconds if

that but as Keithy's leg is being broken by his dad Adam Sandler there's a shot of a beautiful brick cottage style building which might be the groundskeeper's house just kind of over the shoulder of adam sandler as he's flying through the air and it's a it's a it's a beautiful old beautiful old building and you

don't see that kind of brickwork in um in the movie anywhere else so that was my shining light today that is a good shining light um what's what's on the cards for you the rest of the week mate you said you were busy you wanted to get this record done i'm moving house yeah it's good um uh i don't know i've got to check my calendar i'm just playing it day by day at the moment got some work to do tomorrow got the old radio stuff ticking over the old radio the old, yeah, on Friday, I'm doing a comedy gig in someone's lounge, which will be interesting. What, is it a bit of fun, or is it a proper gig? It's to promote TV3.

I think that comedy special is going to air soon, that they taped during the festival. Our one, For the... Oh, is it... From the last laughs. And it's like, win a stand-up comedy show. Yeah. How did you get out of that?

Because I would have thought that you'd be contractually obligated to attend as being the Billy T winner. I flew to Barcelona. That's a good way to get out of that contract. Well done, you. Yeah, mate.

But it should be fun. Yeah, that will be fun. I guess. Well, we've run out of... Where are you off to next? Just give me two locations that you're off to next and we'll round it off, eh?

I'm flying to Berlin on Saturday. Beautiful. I'm going to be... Oh, this is exciting. I don't know if you watched the semifinal. I watched going to be, oh, this is exciting. I don't know if you watched the semi-final.

I watched the semi-final last night in a sort of reasonably crowded bar, although it was a weird place, but anyway, crazy stuff

watching the Germans just completely destroy Brazil. I'm going to be in Berlin on Sunday, the 13th of July, which just happens to be when the world cup final

will be played oh shit so i that could be one of the great greatest nights of my life if they would dude that's a fuck yes oh my god that country will be on fire even if they don't win i think they're still going to be pretty joyous like that was a 7-1 was the end score wasn't it that was an absolute thrashing it was a pantsing it was relentless and then after berlin i don't really know i might go to iceland or amsterdam hey go to iceland man everyone goes to amsterdam you know yeah it doesn't get dark this time of year we'll go there there. That's cool. That's science-y, and it's exciting, and it's a little bit sexy. So by the end of this trip, because then I'll be in Edinburgh for all of August, I think I will have wound up watching, including New Zealand, watching Grown Ups 2 in like six different countries,

which has got to be some sort of world record. That is fucking cool, man. That's not cool. I like that a lot. That's great. Hey, let me ask you this before fucking cool, man. That's not cool. I like that a lot. That's great. Hey, let me ask you this before we go, and then we will go. Tanya got back in touch, as I told you a couple of weeks ago, and said, hey, tuned into the podcast.

I think it's funny. So do you want to get her on over Skype soonish while you're away, or do you want to wait for you to come back and we'll do it when you're here? If you think about the technical difficulties we're already facing Oh yeah true yeah yeah yeah that's a good point. Introducing a third person into the mix is just gonna end in disaster Yeah right okay fair call well look if you meet any interesting people in Europe feel free to bring them along for a watch on your MacBook Yeah, I could do, I've got my friend Ryan Heron, who I'm doing a bit of travelling with

he's a very good cameraman and director Hey, well that could be an interesting perspective I'm meeting him in Berlin, so yeah, that could be a good bit of perspective couldn't it? Cool, sounds good mate Alright, well look, stay safe, enjoy Berlin, and great to hear from you, and fuck this film, fuck it right in the ass

and the podcast concept fuck that too, yeah we're silly men very silly alright mate, have a good day everyone, take care, live every moment every day. Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away. Feel that moment.