The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E29: Prawn Salad

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:In this episode of the podcast, bare audio witness to the complete breaking down of Guy and Tim's mental function. This is the first epsiode of the podcast which had its hosts asking whether or not they should release it after it was recorded. Guy and Tim have decided they should release it as it would be against the spirit of the project to without an episode. So enjoy it, with our sleepy co-host Nick. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

special preamble edition you've got both the boys yeah it only feels appropriate uh after what i think i don't really know how to describe it would you call it a seminal piece of podcasting or a seminal piece of drug taking or yes and because i think when i was listening to this episode we're talking about prawn salad by the way which you've got to look forward to i was thinking about how difficult it can be for artists of all stripes to capture the experience of being on drugs yeah and i was listening to this and not to elevate us but i was thinking well one way to do it is this is to create whatever it is you're doing on drugs and you know it's incredible to me to think that we were, you know,

umming and ahhing about whether or not to squeeze the trigger and put this one out into the world. Really? Because I was flooded back with hearing it now. Because I haven't listened to it for a very long time. Hearing it now, I was back to, oh, maybe this shouldn't have gone out. Oh, no. I mean, I was actually surprised. I've never listened to it until now. And surprised at our ability to string several seemingly cohesive thoughts together at all.

I just thought it was like 30 minutes of giggling. Yeah. And I've got to say, hearing us laughing like that really made me want to, whoever brought those, I think it was Jane brought those weed brownies over one afternoon they were muffins it was yeah it's incredibly unassuming it was late night and i feel like maybe we'd had a party at my flat or something and she hearing it late from something else and was just like hey do you guys want these hash muffins they were like yes that was so perfectly weighted you know like honestly it represents to me a high that i'm chasing off and if i have an edible where i'm like is this going to make me laugh uncontrollably or is this going to give me anxiety yeah you know and so to hear it i was just like wow and

yeah i just we had nick there we're keeping like can you hear nick on the on the mic it's so funny yeah you can hear him and also to hear the way we start the episode where um both of us have sort of lost sight of how to talk or how we normally talk i had a flashback of some conversations that happened during the watch because i remember we were trying to sort of recapture some conversations which is just the stupidest thing to do when you're that high from what we were talking about during the record. And there was like,

we were having conversations about teleportation and all of this nonsense and trying to recap. I remember like, okay, so I'll try and bring that up again when we record. It's like, hey brother, lay down your tools you were today's not a work day you were killing me in the record and then listening to it again you were absolute at the very the run you got at the start i mean we shouldn't hype it too much because no i've listening sorry well people are about to listen to it but really um man big laughs on the day big laughs on reflection

not a perfect episode by any stretch but a genuine I think what I liked about it is it felt earned having traipsed through the 28 episodes preceding this it's true and I also love that we managed to get

the second Paddy Schwartz off yeah in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds your I mean it's an iconic line that we really do need to put on a tissue, but his face was dancing is probably a high point of the entire podcast series for me.

I can't believe I got that sentence. I think you were holding it together a lot more than me. It's the seeing the working on the map. It's seeing it on the page you know following along um you allowed getting to the place where it got to for this just a beautiful mind you're watching the equation get written down on the board it's exactly right but yeah yeah i mean it's been um it's been so much fun to to revisit the episodes and then to do this um we didn't listen together but to get to team up for you know what is a benchmark episode i suppose in twilight history yeah um yeah it's been great i mean i hope we

haven't overhyped it i hope we haven't you know it's not a great i mean you know i don't know enjoy it for what it is exactly exactly i think our our my perception is elevated because I've never listened to it before. So it's only been this sort of very hazy memory in my mind. I also love that we don't explain why we're so good. I mean, it's transparent. Yeah, we were playing coy, I think, for the first couple of years of the podcast. And we're like, yeah, we're high as shit. Because then I was thinking about plausible deniability.

Where people are like, you were high when you recorded this. And we're going Yeah we're high as High as shit Well because then I was thinking About plausible deniability Where people are like You were high when you recorded this And we're going No Imagine Imagine trying to convince someone I don't know why we're denying it But like

No no no no no no no Point to where we said it No no Unmistakably So so high So enjoy that Yeah Because we did

Absolutely So enjoy that, because we did. Absolutely. Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time, a podcast with myself, Tim Batt. And me, Guy Montgomery. Which is now in its 29th episode ever. And it's a podcast where me and Monty watch Grown Ups 2 every week for a year, once a week. And then do a podcast about it. Yeah. And here it is. Here it is.

And I couldn't be happier to be here, Tim. Very excited. Very excited to talk about the movie. Obviously, the movie, and to which I'm referring is Grown Ups 2, which we've just watched for the 29th time. And I've got to say, I enjoyed myself this evening.

Look, it was a movie two halves, Monty, if I'm being honest. And while being a little bit shy on literal thinking while out on the field you get what my brute force

of just throwing a gag at you once every 15 seconds that you can't tell where the fuck you are GPM gags per minute definitely

by the end of the match you're so disoriented with the sheer volume of comedy it is it is it's been thrown at you in such a

small concentrated amount of time you're fucking head spinning and they're counting on

that that's what they're going for brute force attack onto your sense of

humour they're just as sophisticated about the plan whatsoever you just keep cramming

gags into them until one of them fucking lamps. And then you got them. Oh then you fucking got them. Thinking about the merchandise. Thinking about the fucking DVD when it comes out.

They'll upgrade to Blu-ray when they get themselves a Playstation 3. They are buying every single movie in the franchise off the basis of one joke that one of you 10,000 monkeys were able to write this script. That went a lot longer than I thought it would. Fuck. Okay. Oh yeah, by the way, I'd like to introduce our third broadcast host today

and that's Nick Anderson-G who's currently just asleep on the couch and he doesn't sound like much now but trust us, that snore could get up to a hell of a gallop on the turn of a dime like you'll think that maybe he's even woken up it gets so quiet for a bit and then it's like a

fucking train's coming through a tunnel at you it's a deep snarling sort of yawn it's quite regal it's sort of aristocratic sort of it's majestic sort of a 1920s britain sort of snore like from a brass not just from one source but like a band

like a quartet a brass quartet a roaring sort of brass quartet sort of snore so we can look forward

to that so in closing to my aside you might hear someone snoring that's all that was that's all I needed to say oh jesus alright

okay so what to say about the movie what to say about the movie? What to say about the movie we have just seen? Here's the first thing. I noticed a guy at the party in a blue shirt that's kind of unbuttoned at the top, and he's in the background.

He's a background actor. That's a thing. An extra, I think they're called. A background actor the movie's full of them I can't make that for a movie if we call them extras the union insists we pay them union rights

they're background actors okay and that goes for all of our tax returns as well because the government gives us a fucking break for that we're on a lower tax rate if their background

it's a different category they're not unionised fuck it and that goes for all of the franchise all the other movies we've gone on all the merchandise so that guy exists

my point to that he's doing some really good background acting you only see him in like probably four or five shots in that thing

but it just he's reacting to something I can't remember exactly the lines I've been seeing similarly Brayden Higgins David's both son he was doing some

really good acting in there his face was telling a thousand stories. It was like a body. His face was like the body of a dancer that was telling a story through dance. His face was dancing. Oh my shit.

If you thought that was a little bit humorous to hear, you should have been seeing Guy's face with the conviction of their delivery right up until his face is dancing. Fucking, like, lyrical visual journey you took me on, forcibly. Oh, yeah. Good God. It's just that Bradenden Higgins goddamn dancing face gets me every time.

Yeah. Who couldn't be swayed by Brayden Higgins dancing face? Nick got off so lightly

by going to sleep man. Can you imagine what's going through his head right now. He is in a realm where the normal parameters don't bring you back down to ground. It's like, well, for Nick right now, gravity doesn't need to be an issue. Yeah. Because in his dream, there's no gravity. That's right.

Nothing's a problem when you're sleeping. Or it could go way worse. Like it goes either way. Yeah. Because it's like the level of stability we get. But you can't just make it up in its own. There's rules here. The stability that it affords is,

you don't have the crushing, terrifying loads of like, oh, you know how you grow up and thinking everything was normal. And then all of a sudden the ground turned into a dragon's mouth you're talking about some concepts i do not understand you know like you know like everything's normal and then the ground

turns into a dragon's mouth. What I'm saying is wouldn't that be so much more terrifying than shit that happens for us because we're in the real world and not in Nick's dream.

Oh I see. So it could go way worse for you is my point. That's also true. Thank you for go way worse for you. This is my point. That's also true. Thank you for conceding the point. I appreciate it. So back to the movie. Very well, aren't you?

Back to the movie. What did... Did you enjoy this film? Grown Ups 2 guy? I enjoyed your company, Tim. It's been a really good night. Oh, that's good. That's nice.

I thought it was... Downright hilarious and fanciest. Yeah. Do you know what Adam Sandler's going to do? Because he'll release, release like tons more movies and as soon as this podcast comes out it's hilarious Guy Montgomery

will be on all the Blu-ray copies of Grown Ups 2 but he's quoting you now on the podcast describing the movie I floated that out as bait to Adam Sandler as sort of olive brunch no Trojan horse bro

he'll take it he hears the quote from his agent right so he's going Montgomery he won the fucking Billy T in New Zealand that's a big thing in Hollywood huge award, huge honour so um yeah I don't know no I've heard of that huge award huge honour so um

yeah I don't know where I was going with that one and they sneak it in there and they put it on the posters and they come and go

haha I didn't like the movie and now I'm on your poster in your face I'm saying like I got you

good you motherfucker ah shit oh damn it you know what they didn't do I got you good, you motherfucker. Ah, shit. Oh, damn it. You know what I didn't do? What didn't you do? Never mind.

Oh, yeah, there it is. I forgot to put the pop shield on the mic. That's okay. It's such a technical thing, but it makes it sound heaps better. Well, now, we'll do a test. The second half of the podcast will now be brought to you by the pop shield on the mic how long has this been going whoa

okay how long has it been going only nine minutes oh that's good because we've got lots to talk about we've been on a real journey in those nine minutes

that felt like that was a really long time we were talking I'm terrified at the prospect of 25 alright you've got plenty plenty in the tank long time we were talking. I'm terrified of the prospect of 25. Oh mate. You've got plenty in the tank.

Heaps more gas in the tank. Yeah. There was a line in the movie which caught our attention tonight which was

Chris Rock when Kevin James was about to do Suicide 35 off the top rock 35 feet above water my mum did that jump when she was pregnant with me. Yeah, we don't have an issue with anyone

jumping up into waterfalls when you're pregnant. That's fine. That's none of our business, quite frankly. Yeah, we're not qualified to comment on that. Because, yeah, guess what? We're white middle class males. We understand where we're at and we're not going to comment on shit

that we're not supposed to. So, you know, just chill out, broads. But. But. on shit that we're not supposed to so you know just chill out broads but um good point however well it's just i was going a different direction i know i know but you like weren't mean about it you're just like yes yes and also and also and then drag it back in your point it's like a teacher will they ask a question to their class and you put your hand over and you say something and they're like yes and also

I love what you've said it's fucking ridiculous but they just don't want to break your confidence don't destroy his confidence Nick's picking up a little bit of noise I don't know if you're getting that on the microphone it's signs of life life fires away I don't know if you're getting that on the microphone. It's the signs of life.

Yeah. Life finds a way. That's my best Jeff Goldblum. Life finds a way. I don't know. Yeah, because I edited like a Brooklyn exit. It's not from Brooklyn, is it? I don't know. I actually don't remember. It's more like a... It to it for Brooklyn I don't know I actually don't remember

it's more like it's like a it's not like Brooklyn it's like neutral crazy American so it's like neutral American you know how they have like not too much of anything it's not too southern it's not too west coast it's not too anything neutral American that just and then just the absurdity turned up

on it life finds a way. That was the best one, yeah. I think that was pretty good. I don't, honestly, I can't in my mind conjure the idiosyncrasies of Jeff Goldblum's speech patterns enough to be confident enough to try. Not on the fly?

No, I just don't really have it embedded in my memory, so I can't really comment. You are. But it's sort of, of you know life finds a way the incredible ah fuck it no I'm abandoning Shiva no it doesn't um so but Chris Rock anyway Kevin James is about to do this big jump into the water and Chris Rock is like oh yeah fuck sorry okay yes this is where this starts yeah you're the rope of the tree

triple flip hold on first of all you wrote it down specifically in your phone so that this wouldn't happen we just made it up because this is real people

this shit is real so to set it up better the guys are walking up to the cliff to jump off Suicide 35 and they're all kind of cajoling

Kevin James about jumping in and and and Kevin James I think is making out he's like oh what is he

he's like I'm scared he's making out that he's scared though and Chris Rock's comment is I lost the the oh shit

is it in drafts no it's not even in drafts okay well Chris Rock I knew Chris Rock to boost them up says, fuck, okay, I hope I remember. You're the hang off the rope?

No, you're the rope off the tree. You're the rope off the tree, triple flip. Oh, no, triple bird? Triple flip bird dump, no. No, it's back flip. Back flip is in there. We've fucking mingled in there triple we've fucking we've mingled this

so badly we've really bossed this one up guys we're going to revisit that little bit of the movie next week when we've got

the correct the corresponding we've got to have our notes the corresponding notes it's going to move it's going to move on okay

that's cool that's cool that's cool I'm going to have a little sip of the water there. Alright, let me dig here. Let me dig. Oh yeah, speak, speak. Speak.

Okay, so we had a lot of ideas with where we could go with the podcast. One of them was that Guy and I script a dramatic two-hander where we get all of the starting points of the scenes from the starting points of grown-up to scenes.

And so we get the starting point, we get that script, we act that out, and then we see where Guy and I, as writers, can take where that would lead. I think we don't even provide the context of the setup I'd like to just do it so it's cold so you don't even have a ramp into it you don't need a ramp

it's just the scenes without context and then just broken up by little snippets of audio taken from the movie while the stage blacks out and we change costumes

or assume our new positions or I shouldn't share all the industry secrets. We're taking you pretty behind baseball with this one, inside baseball with this one, folks. Like being backstage at the puppet show. You know, blackouts.

And the secret is with the blackout is that the actors, they can move around freely and assume new positions. Undetected by the audience. It's a trick of the light. And you as an audience member have no idea what's happening. Because what one does not see one cannot know. And it's the beauty of us

killing the light source of the world. So often the actors will assume one position and say something dramatic and they will freeze and they'll be blackout and you won't be able to see anything and then the actors

they could go and change their costume the lady could put on a different dress or the man could put on some funny shoes and then the lights come back up and they're standing in completely different positions and you'll have no idea how they got there

or why their clothes have changed because of the magic of the blackout there's a little industry secret for you there where are you sourcing this character from dude I feel like it's a Simpsons character but I've never fucking

heard of him that was a very specific dude you just slipped into it there dude I think you gotta speak about your commitment to characters brother oh shit we didn't explain that on mine just quickly that was I was channeling

mostly then Patrick Stewart a combination of Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen in extras when they're talking to Andy Millman Patrick Stewart and who Ian McKellen and extras when they're talking to Andy Millman Patrick Stewart and who? Ian McKellen oh yeah yeah they're on different

episodes of extras right and they speak and that's sort of how they speak that's what was happening in my mind I shouldn't have

explained it I shouldn't give away all the industry secrets seriously I don't know if you can hear now, but it's off the channel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in a deep and lustrous sleep.

How I envy him. It's going to be uncomfortable when he wakes up, though, as Nick will be fucked. Let's honour our podcast commitments, namely, Barry Schwartz, party time Petty Schwartz Party Time! Petty Schwartz Party Time! Party Time!

So this is the second Petty Schwartz Party Time, in which we pay homage to... The son of the Terminator. You might know him as the Governator, because he was once the Governor of the third largest economy in the United States of America. Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome to the stage a good friend of mine, the father of...

Patrick Schwartz. Ennegar. Ennegar. Patrick Schwartz Ennegar. You can say Patrick Schwartz Ennegar or Paddy Schwartz. You can't mix them up. Sorry. I got confused.

There are rules. Rules help control the fun. Iron helps us play. Wait, did we actually... Oh, God. So did you say what it was? What was the Patrick Schwartz party time? Did you hear Nick snore? Oh shit I just mixed them up

I banished my like Fucked phone roll What Is Nick talking in the sleep? No no He just did a big snore Oh okay We didn't actually get to the Patrick Schwartz party time Which for me Or what? Is Nick talking and just like... No, no, he just did a big snort. Oh, okay.

We didn't actually get to the Patty Schwartz party time, which for me... I'm concerned by the fact that the clock's now up to 18 minutes 30 seconds because I feel like

it was at nine minutes about a minute ago. I don't think we've covered a whole lot of ground here, dude. It doesn't feel like this has been a very distant journey but a hard one.

Like we're struggling up a mountain. The fucking gradient is like we never expected. Oh, it is steep, my dude. You're not going to get too far because it is steep. Oh. What? to get too far because it is steep oh what Nick has taken the piss with

this I don't know how he remains as like awesomely funny asleep as he is when he's awake

but it's a great burn he's like oh are you guys recording up there check this out fucking brilliant fucking brilliant

and he'll deny all knowledge when he wakes up but he knows what he's doing he's on fire he's burning the place up one motherfucker in the house

ready to party yeah um my petty Schwartz party time sorry yes sir please if you would as I was my Paddy Schwartz party time moment sorry yes sir please if you would as I was

step right up it was it was his background work when Taylor Lautner is challenging challenging the the grown ups on the cliff face on top of the

they're like wolves it's like the young adolescents snipping at the heels of the established alpha males lots of great face work from Paddy lots of great body movement and lots

good head movement from side to side he got total coverage he was and he was very he agreed a lot with Taylor his face I don't want to say it was dancing.

It certainly wasn't Braden Higgins. It certainly wasn't Braden Higgins at the showdown, I'll tell you that. It was pretty sure it was having a party. It was pretty much what it was. It was good acting. But in the context of the film, as I saw it tonight. Oh my God. You tried to worm your way

back up to some sort of like just you're riding the justification train to acceptance

we got it on to the segment you committed there bro you committed big time yeah I didn't

I didn't really I wasn't really feeling that god I felt like I didn't step in just then I felt like

you probably kept going yeah further and further um alright it's it's getting late it's such a

such a rich tapestry uh I gotta say this is certainly gonna be one of the more interesting episodes of the podcast

yep yep More interesting episodes of the podcast. Yep. Yep. It's... This could make all the breakups. I have an interesting theory. This could be our demise. Not just as podcasters. Human beings.

Members of society who are able to be given the choice to pay tax and participate no no we're going straight to jail no collect guy no collect $200

we're going to jail as a result of how bad this episode of the podcast is I don't think I don't think it's a criminal offence

I think it means that's because no one's ever sucked this bad I I I I think there have been some sort of, it was an undulating episode,

some soaring highs and some dizzying lows. Dizzying, usually an adjective reserved for high fashion. But you have flipped that off to touted, cliché-mocked head and made poetry. I didn't deliberately do that. I have an adjective reserved for high fashion but you have flipped that off to touted cliche in my head and made poetry I didn't deliberately do that that was an accident no I know, we all know bro

that was a joke I was struggling for another adjective I could only think of one adjective so I just repeated it you didn't notice but you did notice. Do you have a shining light separate to everything else you've said tonight? Yep.

Officer Dante and Shaquille O'Neal, when Officer Dante goes to hold Shaq's hand after the tyre scene, I remember turning to you when that happened tonight and I just said, that's a really nice touch. at the after the tyre the big tyre scene yeah I remember turning to you when it happened tonight and I just said that's a really nice touch like that little

character detail because that's not at the front of the scene that's background action that's obviously a character choice that Peter Dante has made

he's invested in the character and he commits to it and Shaquille O'Neal reacts organically and that's it's just a really it's just a nice little bit sorry to paint you a picture folks and it is

as Monty mentioned at the back of frame it's in shot but it's not where your eye is drawn but the shot goes to the two cops and Peter Dante is trying to hold the hand of Shaq Shaq slaps it away it's just an interesting dynamic to add to their relationship.

If you could see this face, ladies and gentlemen, if you could see the dancing face of Guy Montgomery, it really does fucking paint a picture. And so that was my shining light. Did you have one? Oh, so many. So many to choose from. Can I say my favourite bit? Not in the movie,

but of us talking about the movie and shit during when it was on. It's kind of negative, but I'm appreciating the negativity of it. Is when they're at the party and they're setting the scene of the party for ages. This is what i was giving you cutting to you i was like okay sweet so in any other movie you kind of need to you

would do an establishing shot right yeah like it could be less than a second just a sweeping panning shot of what okay so what's the setup here i'm in a house there's tons of people it's a party sweet as and then you get into the drama but in grown ups too they don't do that that what should be like seven tenths of a second is about three minutes yeah

there's no furthering of the story there's no like drama or tension with anyone it's just people enjoying a party that we know exists

for ages and the payoff's great what is it for that the fight yeah I guess I guess you're right I was being facetious

ah I see oh yeah yeah sarcastic yeah yeah what you're looking at Nick very suspiciously

no I was just noticing I have a dry mouth oh it's quite a revelation it was slowly registering in my mind behind dead eyes okay well we should probably

probably put a bow on this one it was honest this is like a raw episode of the podcast yeah you're saying you're saying into the look past the flesh and see your enemy folks This is like a raw episode of the podcast. Yeah, you're saying into the... Look past the flesh and see your enemy, folks. This is the raw truth of the Matrix.

If you could read code, you would understand where we're at. Matrix code. Not normal human code. That cascading display shit Alright That's about enough of us Thank you so much for listening Like us on Facebook

We'll be back next week Before we go I have to mention Luke and Sam were two people Who came up to me in a bar And said Hey are you Tim Bad Which I was like yep and I figured because I've got

such a terrible memory they were like someone who I'd met an old friend or something that I momentarily had lapsed in recalling like from the worst day of all time I was like what no they were on a date they were a couple like huge fans of your podcast

like what the fuck are you talking about they're like yeah yeah it's like the funniest thing and the guy was like yeah it's my favourite like day of the week when I go to work

and there's a new episode I put it on while I'm working that's freaky man oh my god we're fucking brightening up someone's day man hey that's touching

oh that's my shining light folks it wasn't in the movie but it came as a result of the movie. That was very sweet. Yeah. Oh, it made me feel good. So to Luke and Sam.

Sam's the girl. Luke's the boy. Luke and Sam. Guess which one's which. I'll give you a clue. Luke's the boy. And Sam's the girl. All right.

That's it from us. Please do try the prawn salad delicious delicious you'll absolutely love the prawn salad we're dressing every day

we're driving the chef likes to experiment honestly everyone's been raving about the prawn salad between you and I free free prawn salad

for everyone for every prawn salad we can give you another one for free we've got so much prawn salad we can't possibly

get rid of it all come down and try a trough of prawn salad the funny bit about this is I don't even know if prawn salad exists

like chicken salad I'm familiar with you get like teriyaki beef salad exists prawn salad I'm not with you get like teriyaki beef salad exists prawn salad I'm not sure I don't know

I think it's like seafood salad I don't know anyhow let's get the fuck out of here this is

this is Hindenburgian badly at least some people got out of Hindenburg did you know that there's people in Hindenburg

I didn't know that dude people walked away the Hindenburg. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Dude, people walked away from the Hindenburg. That's amazing. There's hope for us. I was reading about a dude who lived to a really old age.

I don't know if he died recently or whatever. He was the youngest surviving member of the Hindenburg. I was like what it was like yeah he came out like pretty much unscathed even when it happened he just rode it to the ground and emerged like that dude's bruce willis from fucking untouchable man are you joking me? Your skills are unparalleled. Your ability to survive is second to none. You're a fucking hero to all of us.

Holy shit. Okay. You're doing the Academy brand, son. On that soaring high, we're out of here. Thanks for listening. Bye. I'm beautiful. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access Membership Separate.

Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.