The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E37: Shade

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:This epsiode the podcast has taken a turn. The boys decided to record during the last half hour of the film, while they watch the remainder of the party scene play out. Plus Guy has decided to fall asleep during the first hour of the film. Luckily, a plucky Tim is attempting to pull the pair back from the edge of dispair in spite of not just a tired co-host but also people on the internet trying to cease the project.An depth discussion on Paddy Swartz and Miley Cyrus' rumoured romantic union, a shout out to all builders and an intro prodived by amazing comedian and musician Reggie Watts awaits you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

an absolutely cheeky entry into the canon from guy montgomery on this episode a man who is barely able to say a word out loud uh he's so tired i have a vague memory actually of this night and of him falling asleep for the majority of the movie and honestly i just felt bad for the guy and that's what you hear in the episode you hear a friend worried about his friend uh willing to take the reins because normally hey you know me i'd be calling that shit out from monty i'd be calling him a big old bag of shit and i'd be poking in a prodden um but there is a delightful moment i want to say about five or six minutes into this episode where you just hear Monty absolutely surrender, surrender himself and surrender the reins of the episode over to me, and I knew I had a job to do on

behalf of both of us and for our audience, and I stepped in and I did it. I like this episode. Is it because it's 90% Timbo? Look, it's not for me to say. I'm not sure. But I think it's a good one. A lot of fun features. Not our regular features, though.

But by that, I mean things like shouting out Serial, which I hadn't heard at the time. Like, that was this. Talk about time capsule. Podcast talking on podcast. Guy Montgomery big upsing this brand new have you heard of it yet podcast series called cereal by npr spoiler alert anyway enjoy a um i'm gonna say heroic energized timbo and the sleepiest monty you're likely to find on the season. Hi, I'm Reggie Watts, and you're listening to The Worst Idea of L-Time. Because before you know it, your precious time slips away.

Live a moment. Hello and welcome to the podcast. That's not how we start the podcast, guy. Pick up the microphone, guy. Guy, stop rubbing your hair. Pick up the microphone. Introduce the podcast properly. You're talking to me we're actually recording

right now yes well what we're doing is we're trying something slightly different this week whereby we've

actually still got roughly 30 minutes of the movie to go we're at the party scene right now the party scene

has already been going on for quite a while is guy has just woken up as well in the last i'd say five or six minutes i've given him a peanut brownie to um help him get to uh farm back specifically how's that treating you yeah it's good man good i'm glad that i mean i'm so tired yeah i I'm glad that, I mean, I'm so tired. Yeah. I'm so glad that we've made this decision. Mm-hmm.

Well, this streamlines the whole process. In a lot of ways, we've cut a slight corner on this one. Especially considering you were asleep for the rest of it. And now you're just, you're watching it as you do the podcast you know it feels like a cut corner I think he's making a free throw yeah man

I'm I'm questioning the whole project I'm questioning the whole thing really really really really really really questioning it I thought we got a lot of good love

over the internet over the last week it's been a while between innings for us except today except today, can you explain what happened? we got I think the kids call it shade these days. We got shade thrown at us on our Facebook group. Some people were throwing shade.

We chucked up the poster of last week's episode, which we put a little quote on, a little pull quote from yourself, old Monty. And I spelled Taylor Lawton's last name wrong, so sorry about that. Very embarrassing. It was embarrassing. And some guy wrote under it.

Now, I can't remember the exact wording, and he subsequently deleted it, but he said, like, come on, guys, this only had 19 likes. Do something more constructive with your life, for fuck's sake. I like that we are creating a breaking point for someone else. Neither of us know who the person who wrote this message is,

but I like the fact that he is so impacted by what we're doing from that far away that he's melting down online. I can't imagine how Adam Sandler will feel when he finds out that we are watching it. I did send him a message. I replied to his comment, and I said to him, your feedback has been noted and quickly disregarded.

Thank you. Oh. And then he deleted. Suck it, bro. And then he deleted his message and he sent us a message. He sent us like a non-public message. Like not a post.

Yeah. I don't know how to get to it though because I don't understand all of these things. It's unimportant hey look can you please make sure you're in charge of the shape and general feel of this okay all right fair enough all right here we go episode 37 is what we're up to right now that means we've got um 15 more watches of the movie plus the remaining bit of the movie that's playing out right in front of our eyes this is a creepy bit at the moment where adam sandler's talking to his daughter in the bedroom the lighting's very

ominous while the party's going on downstairs in lenny fader's backyard um comprising of hundreds of people and various members of uh the old jay giles band um famous for their hit uh cinephile i think is the name of the song that's the no no that's the one and yeah there's just there's a lot happening there's a lot happening in the movies I'm sure you can appreciate we got sent a message from that guy I don't know his name

I was going to leave his name out anyway but you were going to say his name on the podcast the guy who was throwing shade at us because he sent us a message afterwards and he said hey listen I'm sorry i was so negative to you guys i had a fight with my girlfriend i don't want to bore you with the details but i got into a negative zone or words to that effect i mean i quite like that

we're part of his personal life uh like that like that we are a reasonable outlet for sort of frustrated or confused emotion from a real life argument someone's had with their spouse yeah it bled through man like i i love that you know we i mean and we deserve it we don't deserve it but we have created this thing we're in we're watching a movie for the 37th time like if you are gonna chuck some negative energy at someone it might as well be us yeah totally um here's another guy who isn't even the original guy this guy's name is cody scott and he just said um please just give up and i i put a post up i put a post up publicly saying um something it was in response to the haters today no love for the haters it says here it is well guys some of you are trying to slow or

stop us completely but we won't we're watching it again tonight you just watch us and then I put a link there to a YouTube video and if you click on that link you will find that it is to a Stan Bush song called Never Surrender and the lyrics to that song go never surrender, never say die you've got the heart of a hero

never surrender I think it was the theme song for a movie called Kickboxer, I think, with Jean-Claude Van Damme in the 80s. And it really just captures the spirit, I think, of what we're doing here. Timbette. The wiry, tenacious fighter, Timbette.

Of the project, you know. You're sleeping your way to the top. Slippery. Guy Montgomery. In a way where you're not having sex with someone. But you're literally asleep But you will still In fairness to me

I did the first 20 minutes I was so tired And I said I said to you I've never seen you so tired I'm not There's just no way I'm not gonna

I'm just gonna fall asleep Yeah And it was a really deep Ineffective sleep And like Almost to the point where it's contentious that this is my 38th watch. Seventh.

Yeah, and that. Like, I missed the bulk of... 20 minutes, blackout, wake up, suddenly we're at the party scene, Tim Batts thrust a microphone under my face. Well, here's the good news. I'm picking up the slack with our regular features today, and I want to kick it off with the Paddy Schwartz party time, because we've been inundated since our last podcast

with people posting up to our wall, and we really appreciate this. Everyone letting us know that Paddy Schwartz, it would seem, is now dating Miley Cyrus. That's right, romantically linked. Which is pretty fucking cool for Patty. Well, yeah, I mean, I look at this news and I sort of get excited. I think, I mean, if we know anything about Patty, we know that he's a man who's not afraid of partying, certainly likes to party, has been seen partying before.

And, I mean, you look at a girl like Miley, who's obviously, she's sort of diverging quite far from her family friendly uh christian child star image and also exploring the possibilities of a party yourself uh you know whether that be through smoking a drug like marijuana say or just drinking a high percentage ipa on a on a tuesday, you know, and getting snapped by the pap, a pap snap, doing that. And so, I mean, for the union to take place between Patty Schwartz, who, as I've said, knows how to party, and Miley, who's exploring a more of a party girl image, is exciting.

I think it's a real miracle that the big gossip wheel hasn't been churning faster and harder in American news on account of this revelation. Tim, I'd love to know what you think about the union. I'm so happy about it. I've got nothing but love for Patti Schwartz.

Both of us are in that boat, I think. I actually quite dig Miley Cyrus. I think she's cool. And, I mean, you know, as a lot of people have said, she was famous for her song Party in the USA. Patty Schwartz is known for his partying. It's a Patty Schwartz party in the USA. This couldn't be going any better.

I hope they get married and have little party kids. There's a party in the USA. They will come out of Miley Cyrus' womb, twerking, right there in the operating theater. They will be by the age of three tearing rooms asunder. Most kids learn how to

walk. They will be learning how to overact into a scene and just outact anyone in the room. You know what I mean? It's going to be huge. And I couldn't be happier about it.

Hey. I want to go to their wedding. Do you know how great that wedding would be, bro? It would literally be the best party that's ever happened. It would literally be the best party that's ever happened. And you know that Billy Ray Cyrus is going to be there? That sounds awful. A hero of mine.

Are you kidding me? Have you heard the song, Achy Breaky Heart? Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think it'll understand. You have heard it. You have heard the song. So listen, onto a more serious note, with the Patty Schwartz Party Time today.

Now, I couldn't remember whether or not you've brought this up before, Guy, but when we first meet the lads at the quarry from the frat, he gets handed a beer, Paddy Schwartz does, by one of the other guys. I have brought this up. Oh, you have? Okay, damn it. Well, I'm going to do it anyway. It's like a double beer, multi-handed disaster. No. Oh, no, it's not that.

No, no, no. It's similar, no it's not that no no it's not it's it's similar but it's not that um so he gets handed a beer and i didn't check to see that it had a cap on the top of it but presumably it's a full beer you wouldn't hand someone an empty bottle and then patty schwartz starts swinging it around and you can tell there's no liquid in it and in between those two times about 10 seconds has passed so one of two things has happened either number one patty schwartz has bitched out in the same way that adam sandler's kid and chris rock's kid did and tipped it out somewhere or patty schwartz just slammed a beer in 10 seconds bro which i in my experience i've only i've only seen that done once before, and I'd like to share when that happened,

a little tale. Crump, I don't think, listens to the podcast. He's an old school chum of mine, a great man. He's a builder. Yeah, bloody good on you, Crump. Hey, shout out to all of our listeners who are builders. Yeah, and builders who aren't listeners. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, yeah, shout out to all builders. If you're in construction or in some way associated with housing, I'd like to do a shout out right now to anybody who's never listened or never will listen to the podcast. Basically just any carbon-based life form. Hey. Shout out to you. Shout out to anyone who thinks this is a stupid idea.

Yeah, we don't want to limit it. Not just to, you know. This is a shout out to the haters. No love for the haters. The haters. Met Ali. He told me I'm the greatest. I got the fever for the flavor of a crowd pleaser.

And from the west to the east to the north to the summertime. Makes it hot. Getting jiggy with it. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Getting jiggy with it. There we were. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. There we were. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. On a lovely summer's day.

I can't remember whose house we were at. We were at a house party, you see, Guy. And there were some boys from the South Island at the party. Yeah. They challenged Crump to a drink competition because apparently they weren't aware of Crump's legendary drinking. Lady Mainlanders? Crump actually, I believe if memory serves, got told by the doctor once that he

had to chill out or he would, how do you say, die. I believe this. And he did. He shifted into a lower gear and subsequently he's doing awesome. He's bought a house. He's doing great. Good job, Crump.

So the first guy goes and just gets the beer, opens the cap, boom, down the hatch, right? As fast as gravity can pour it. And he thinks that he's won the drink competition. Unbeknownst to him, Crump has drunk the beer faster than gravity can pour it by literally like tipping the beer perpendicular to his head and sucking in, sucking in 330 mils of water, yeast, sugar. I think there's barley in beer.

The whole contents of that body sucked the hops. Malt. Hops, there we go. Faster than gravity could pour it, mate. That is vocal. He schooled that South Islander. He really schooled him. He really embarrassed him at his own game.

So suck on that, mate. Okay, we're at the sort of climactic fight scene of the film right now. This is when all the extras come out to shine. We're dancing on the ceiling. And like Charlotte, Chris Rock rock's daughter is sort of singing can you see adam sandler there in the hat yeah do you reckon he turned up this day because you don't see his face in most of this shit i reckon he just got a stunt double to come in for him he's a pretty general build like there'd be a lot of people who could be adam sandler

yeah he's in the most amazing costume but like why would he why would Adam Sandler just take this day off because fucking he's done the other 39 days off he took all the writing days off like we really should meet up to write the script Adam and Adam's like

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah I'm going to Hawaii this movie is a triumph in terms of showing that you can't, you know, dreams are big, dreams are free. You can ad-lib a one hour and 41 minute movie and it can still have an emotional core,

it can make a cohesive sense. I mean, you can meet really meaty, sort of three-dimensional characters who pop off the screen. In a lot of ways, this movie is representative of the American dream in that if you choose that you don't want to work but you throw enough money at a situation, you'll be able to get even more money out of it

by cheating people out of their money vis-à-vis theatre-goers. Yeah. So, in a lot of ways, Adam Sandler's really superseded Arnie's dream, but he's used Arnie's son in the vehicle to do it. There's a beautiful poetry. What we're watching now is Kate Hudson's brother, Paul Hudson,

who's dressed as Indiana Jones. He's in a fight scene, which, honestly, it looks like he got hired for the job and on his acting cv he'd written uh stage combat and they were like okay whatever paul and then paul was like no it'd be really cool if i could use it if i could use the stage combat that'd be really great because i'm actually really good at stage combat and they hired him uh and then he wound up doing this sort of fucking elaborate, ludicrous dance.

I don't know. It's like Capoeira, what he's doing. I don't have any point. It's like he's gone to three Capoeira classes and claimed that he did stage combat and he's just busted that out. It's so... Fuck, TVs are distracting, eh, when they're on. Like, the movies, it's all there, you know

Greg's getting hit in the balls Whenever there's a screen around me My natural inclination is to just look at it That's how they're designed, man We're conditioned I read a book about that once By a professor who had done all this research Into the effects of television

And it turns out All of them are bad. Ah, yeah. Bullshit. They're all bad effects. Like, TV's brainwash you because of... Well, actually, his research was all based off old CRT TV, so it's probably different now.

But how the flicker rate, the refresh rate, the hertz at which they go at, they fuck with your brain, man. They really mess with you. They make you vulnerable. Susceptible to advertising. Tim, I feel like I'm really not doing a good job on the podcast this week, and I just want to say sorry to you for that. You're doing great.

How dare you? And I would like to pick up the slack. I mean, time is, we are moving along at a rapid rate. Oh, yeah. So pick up the slack and take over the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour. The Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour is coming to take you away. Coming to take you away. Take you away.

This may or may not have been influenced tonight's theory on how Steve Buscemi sustained his injuries, which he refers to once in the film. We haven't seen the first grown-up, so we have to guess each week as to the origin story of them. And this may or may not have been influenced by a particular brand new Christopher Nolan film that's come out, which I've seen twice in a week. a week yeah however i now believe uh that steve buscemi's character time traveled back in time and kicked his own ass why that sounds like looper yeah or back to the future joseph gordon levitt movie oh it does sound way more like looper yeah yeah you're right you i mean this is elaborate you think steve buscemi's character in Grown Ups is a time traveller? Here's the interesting reason.

A self-loathing time traveller. Here's the interesting reason why. Steve Buscemi is such an emotional animal in Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2 that what he did is he discovered a time machine by accident. He went back in time and he saw his previous self fooling around with his girlfriend, which is completely kosher because it's still him. But in the moment, in the heat of the moment,

he didn't rationalize that it was him. He just went, that's not me. Someone else is fooling around with my girlfriend and started kicking his own past version's ass. Why did he take it out on Chris Rock? Because Chris Rock saw the whole thing play out and he knows, and Chris Rock can't tell too many people

and Steve Buscemi knows that because it will alter the course of future, the future. And so it's just a little inside joke. There's rules around time travel you've got to obey. It's very confusing. Hey, can we just, I know it's not necessarily related inside joke. There's all these rules around time travel you've got to obey. It's very confusing. Hey, can we just... I know it's not necessarily related to grown-ups too,

but I got addicted to a podcast this week and I'd like to discuss it. Okay. Have you listened to Serial? No, I haven't. It's from the makers of This American Life. Oh, okay. It's like a non-fiction story told bit by bit,

like a serial, like the clues in the name yeah uh and it is honestly phenomenal now i was in wellington for work this week i had a bit of time on my hands during the daytime i literally spent an entire day yeah walking around wellington and some weird figure eight listening to the podcast serial fuck all right man so more ish christ it was so good i can't believe how unrelated this is i mean that's a great recommendation i assume i will definitely check it out it's a hearty recommendation and npr they make a fabulous podcast there's no doubt about it but jesus mate you are off track, Monty. What do you expect? I want to read a message.

Adam Sandler is mercifully finally going to bed after what is the longest, biggest, most ludicrous size day. He's going to make love to his pregnant wife in the way that he really gets her in the mood is by farting, burping, sneezing in her face. I did it. I burped started. I diding in the face. I did it. I burped started. I did it for the baby.

I did it for the baby. So we had some fans in Sheffield get in touch with us, and I said basically, thanks for getting in touch. And I can't remember what they said, actually, or what I said, but they sent a subsequent message, which is this. I'm going to read it for you now, Guy. Okay, please. Cheers for getting back to us.

That's so cool. Sorry to message you again so soon, but I thought I should share. Got my housemate into the podcast too. That's what we in New Zealand call flatmates, or in America you'd call a roommate, I guess. Yeah. A dorm mate. Yeah, mate. What have you.

It sounds like you've swallowed the mic. Got my housemate into the podcast too so tonight when i said shall we watch a film he was all he he yeah let's watch grown-ups too and i'm like do hey yeah why not fuck i actually need to go back and listen to old worst idea episodes of some kind of therapy for the mind rape that just happened you guys are hardcore i mean like you're onto some check yourself into guantanamo bay for fun shit right there i'm stunned even after all the warnings what some crazy alchemy going on for that bollocks to turn into a hilarious podcast i might kidnap adam

sandra and force him to listen to it uh for the rest of eternity so that i didn't realize it had such um heavy platitudes at the end i probably wouldn't have read it if i knew that but that's lovely it's very sweet i don't want to blow our own trumpet but it's just it's nice that we've got people in sheffield watching uh listening rather and um i like that they venture they dip their toes in the water with a watch of the film, and then they quickly jumped out of the water and they went, this water's too shitty. It's confusing, isn't it?

I mean, whether or not we want people to watch the movie. Like, say you've listened to every episode of the podcast so far, and if you are listening and this is you, God bless your soul, and you have never watched it um do do not watch the movie but i mean if you know you find yourself with two hours on your hands and you're curious and you're thinking because i can only imagine what bizarre picture we've painted of what is essentially just a regular sort of high budget sort of family friendly or what is it meant to be a family friendly comedy film like we is in passing we reference the most obscure moments of a film and so i can understand the curiosity and it builds

and it builds and it peaks and you want to watch it uh and do you okay here's what I want to do with our remaining time on the podcast if I may Guy let's try and attempt to do what Peter Dante was unable to do

in his press junket let's try to describe what this film is in a concise yet poignant and alluring manner

I'll be the describer you be the interviewer Guy Montgomery thank you so much for coming in. It's a real pleasure and an honour to meet you. I guess my first question is,

can you briefly tell us what is Grown Ups 2 and why should we go and see it? It's a very exciting movie. I'm not actually involved in it, sort of really whatsoever, but I mean, I was lucky enough to catch a preview. In the movie adam sandler um he's he's he's moved back to a city uh and his grown-up friends are there

it's all these dudes and pretty much it's just they they're sort of like uh really bored and i think i when i watched the movie i sort of read it as like a sort of a cry for help uh you know for from from the characters and that within the world of the film are sort of it's them saying hey look we're really not doing very well right now none of us like our jobs our families uh and it's actually it's sort of quite a bleak commentary on uh where we're going as a society in the in the in the 21st century and if we don't sort of look around and and pay attention uh to our family and friends and the fact that you know what we're doing has real life ramifications um you know your precious time will slip away. What do you say to critics who have suggested

that Adam Sandler didn't even write a script for this film? It's difficult to argue with, isn't it? I mean... Gliding all over the subtext that you've... Well, the subtext that you've read into this piece can't possibly have existed on the fly surely you've tried to dissect a complete turd and you've

found something in there that doesn't exist couldn't have existed on the fly is true couldn't have existed on the page would also be another way of putting it it couldn't have existed on the page because there were no pages this is a very sustainable operation we're running on the film here so what we thought is rather than writing and printing a script there were no pages. This is a very sustainable operation we're running on the film here.

So what we thought is, rather than writing and printing a script, we'll just circumvent that whole, that whole part of the movie making process and we'll just vibe it, really. We'll just show up on the day and just fucking vibe it. This role play has gone to a really odd place. But what I'd like to do to close off the podcast

is I've found the message. Merciful, merciful. I've found the message from the guy. I'm going to read it verbatim. Now, should we name him? Probably not, eh? Just give him his initials. J.R.

J.R., baby. Hey, guys. Really sorry about the hate. I was in a dark place when I commented before. Brackets, I was in a heated fight with my GF. Won't bore you with the details. Close bracket. And have realized now that it wasn't fair to take it out on you guys.

You don't have to do what you do. But do it anyway for your fans and I respect that. Anyway, I've since deleted my comment. I hope we can let bygones be bygones. JR, we absolutely can. We're not here to hold grudges. We're not in the business of, you know, taking things too sensitively and too much.

No way, Jose. I appreciate you getting in contact with us, even if it is to say, what the fuck are you guys doing with your lives? I still, that's one more message than I would have got normally. I had a great Sunday today, and it was really undone by this. And look, like to apologize to you tim and to the listeners uh i feel like i've been barely hanging on by a thread in this episode and i mean i guess that is of

interest uh with regards to the podcast the whole operation this has been a real struggle for me it's been a real push tim uh and that's not a real push, Tim. And that's not good enough. So I'm going to be coming in next week. I'm going to have a notepad. I'm going to be, you know, really watching the movie. Really watching the movie, you know. Justin Bieber posters presented courtesy of Bravo Entertainment. I just got told by the credits.

Really? They're Justin Bieber posters. Probably at the high school in one of the kids rooms I think it said that it wanted to thank the Commonwealth of Massachusetts the great thing about the way we've done it this week

is that the credits are literally finishing right now the last thing on the screen it says this is a work of fiction the characters incidents and locations portrayed

and the names herein are fictitious any similarity to identification with the location character of any person is purely coincidental and not intentional.

Also, a note that no animals were harmed in the making of this film, including the CGI moves. And then just a big fat bit of marketing for Sony. Make believe. Make believe. Now, Columbia, TriStar Pictures. Did they merge? I thought they merged. I don't know, man.

So, Sony Pictures owns Columbia Columbia owns TriStar nobody cares who owns who owns us though fucking no one

thanks so much for listening we'll be back better stronger next week we didn't do our shining lights

my shining light doesn't exist my shining light was oh wait a minute I had a different Patty Schwartz as well which I'm now going to transfer exist My shining light was Oh wait a minute I had a different Paddy Schwartz as well Which I'm now gonna transfer

Into my shining light No No it's not my shining light Do it so fast Do it so quick Go now Oh he makes an O With his mouth

Yep Good shining light Hey I've been Guy Montgomery I've been Tim Baird