The Worst Idea Of All Time - Replay S01E48: Matinée

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

Please enjoy this victory lap of Season One episodes as we celebrate 10 years of The Worst Idea of All Time. New episodes posting on our Substack.Original Description:Just what comes of two men when you sit them in front of Grown Ups 2 for the forth dozen time inside a year? Apparently, it's sour relationships, lots of singing, lots more swearing, rumination about their self-imposed prison and chats about the mighty Haast Eagle.If you weren't worried about Guy and Tim before this episode, you swear as hell will be now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Oi, oi. Now we're into the fun stuff. This is a rich tapestry of an episode where you can hear both the excitement of the end of the project on the horizon and two of my voices,

and also the resentment and the sort of negatively geared chemistry of reaching the end of a large chunk of work. It's all done with love and humour. But I'm hearing two guys who are... Well, one of them's me. It's a very sing-songy sort of episode it's a bit of sort of um we speculate about what would happen if we if we fell out and even joke about the podcast becoming the sole threat of a friendship uh there's a reference to it's always sunny which

is i would say a testament to the longevity of that show. And also, huge shout-out to David Krauss. We described what sounds like a pretty gross and experimental piece of comedy he was doing at the time the episode was made. Otherwise, you know, we're on the home stretch. We're looking at, I guess, four more episodes until it's time to be cold guy. Cause before you know it Your precious time slips away

Oh Steve Austin You come from Boston But not really Cause you're a famous Texan Oh Steve Austin You come from Boston But not really Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Hello. Hi.

Hi, everybody. It's Tim and Guy here from the Worst Idea of All Time podcast, where we watch and review grown-ups two every week for a year. We've almost done it. We're nearly there, mate. Four to go. We just did number 48. That's right. 48, a very significant number for me, Tim. 48 is the age of Adam

Sandler at time of record. 48 also represents an average of half an hour per podcast. One full day. 24 hours of discussing grown-ups two. That's sad. You want another stat? I did the math on this. We've been watching the movie Full day, 24 hours of discussing Grown Ups 2. That said, you want another stat?

I did the math on this. We've been watching the movie for 3.4 days, like day and nights. Full days. Yeah. Actually, it's three and a half. Okay, whatever, man. How much does that suck? Not that much.

Doesn't it? Yeah, it does. But look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. It was a very long watch today. It was the longest, I think. It was very long. And I felt like a lot of the actors weren't trying. Yeah, I felt that as well.

I felt like, to use an analogy, I haven't watched a Broadway show 48 times in a row. But I feel like if you did watch it, no, because they do. So it felt like the 48th night for this show on broadway and all the actors maybe they had a big party last night it was maybe their favorite cast members birthday yeah i just showed up on the stage and we're just like well we might as well just get through this so we can go and sleep off this raging hangover i have from that dope party we had on a rooftop in soho last night yeah it was like watching a matinee today it was like a yeah the matinee after a birthday party it's a weird vibe

it was low energy and no one was really bringing the noise but then in turn tim i consider this notion while watching is you can flip down its head and say that that the actor's performance yes or the way we read it is a direct mirror of how how we're doing well that makes sense because obviously so the movie they're not performing for us inside the television no yeah so either the movie is or is becoming a mirror and i don't think the filmmakers created grown-ups too um i don't think it was intended as a barometer for how the audience is feeling. It's funny how it all works though, isn't it? So we've really pushed through a barrier there.

Did Marie Carey know when she was inventing microwaves and whatnot? Probably not. I don't know a lot about the origins of the microwave. Me neither. Pretty impressive though. People always say, when are we going to have robots do everything for us you know like betty on the jetsons you look at a microwave a dishwasher an oven a fridge yeah

we got him yeah i think what people are waiting for because of sci-fi and tv is it all to be rolled into one all-purpose robot you're right right about that. But then that's when the robots are becoming probably, we're leaning on them too much and we'll forget the basic skills which enable us to get through a day. And then if technology was to fold in on itself and collapse, none of us would have the basic life skills to survive. You ever see WALL-E, the Pixar movie?

No. It's real. I've got a real ink like i'll tell you what i could watch the shit out of that movie right now wally is so fucking good it's such a good movie there's been any dialogue in the first half i don't think pixar's taken a bad step yet cars too yeah that is the main blight i haven't't seen Cars 2. I liked Cars though. I love that Owen Wilson. In WALL-E. He's so happy-go-lucky.

In WALL-E. That's very much how the humans are because it's set in the future and the humans are terrible. They're all just like soft, slothingly pieces of shit floating around on these little hovercraft things and they're unable to do anything for themselves.

It's quite awesome, but also super bleak. So stop leaning on the people who design kitchens to design an all-purpose kitchen robot exactly betty's not going to exist and if she does then that's a sign we've gone too far people we're in the golden age of robots so just enjoy it you don't want what you don't want is sentient robots this is like you know how when the global financial crisis hit and everyone said, oh, the economy shat itself. We had so many years of good growth. Everyone was like, I don't remember it being that good.

We're in the good times. And you don't realize it because you're always looking ahead. Why does it always seem to go that you don't know what you got to? It's gone. And pay your paradise and put up a parking lot. Who sings the original? I can only remember the Counting Crows version. Surely it's gone. And pay a paradise and put up a parking lot. Ooh. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Who sings the original? I can only remember the Counting Crows version of Vanessa Carlton.

Not Tracy Chapman. Yeah. No, it's not. Oh. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure it's not. So, Grown Ups 2. Yeah, bro.

How about that? How about that movie that we saw again? You know what? I opened up my notebook today to take some notes because we don't have any beers. Hey, good on you. And I thought something better happened today. And I actually turned into the page where it's got the notes from the first watch,

just coincidentally. Do you want me to revisit that? Just anything that you deem interesting. I've just obviously jotted down what happens in the movie. It's like a chronology. And the first thing is, Adam Sandler, comma, Amoose, comma, Selma Hayek, space, Kevin James and his stupid kids,

Chris Rock, comma, poopy dance, David Spade and Mystery Son, soft toy dismemberment, three-point system, smile, compliment, date, quote marks, say it's true even if it isn't. That's amazing that I picked up that John Lovitz quote even on the first watch. That was something great. It's not that amazing, bro. Because you're just, what you're doing, this is like anyone who goes to a movie and writes down what happens and tells other people is if it's interesting.

It's not amazing that you remembered a quote the first time you watched the movie anything else not really I've got I've got a heading here that says to address an epitome

I don't think we ever addressed those what was the movie Guy saw that he hated and wrote a review of online that was I remember this

that you walked out of no I didn't walk out of it I saw the whole thing I hate you I love you Beth Cooper oh you do remember I don't think we ever addressed that wow we're really tightening up all the loosies as we get to the finish line yeah with hayden panettiere and uh some other guy who's gone on to be a reasonable like sketch actor or comedy actor that was off the back of her hero's fame eh i remember as the cheerleader i remember the movie

was based on a book by one of the simpsons writers and it was it was i thought it was poorly executed at the time although i tell you what i mean i've said it before my perspective on films is all the skew now so i would fucking happily sit down to a helping of i love you beth cooper right now i got so pissed off because i watched super bad the other night and i fucking love that movie it's funny but even like something's changed about watching that now as a result of the repeated grown-ups too watching what's changed i don't know i'm kind of like i'm looking for all the shit in the background and stuff it started to bleed over into other movies that's not good nah man it's really not it's like ruining shit that i actually really love now which is uncool

to be expected though surely do you know what i noticed this watch though did you notice that there are 71 13 inch sinks 71 13 inch seats on a standard school bus i didn't notice that how does 71 work oh i guess the bench at the back is like five how does that go three three i don't know 71 seems like a lot that seems like a shitload how many people do you get on each one of those yellow school buses though what i i when i was in toronto i took a lot of photos of their school buses because they're the yellow school buses that you see when you watch tv and movies as a child in new zealand over here we've got like red buses and blue buses but they're all just a boring regular bus shape. There's no panache.

Conversely, I imagine if an American came over here, they might take photographs of our school buses because they're like, whoa, look at these funny little buses. Gosh, this country's backwards. They'd think we're so quaint. What did you notice in the movie this week, Tim? Stone Cold Steve Austin's performance because he doesn't blink almost ever in the movie.

And the first scene that he's in the entire time he blinks precisely once as far as i could tell one time that's commitment bro and it reminded me of i was reading something recently that hayley joel osmond uh went to steven spielberg when he was in ai and he said steven do you know what i reckon about robots? I reckon they don't blink. And apparently, you do not see Haley Joel Osment blink once in that movie. And he was like a tiny child when he did that. And he came to the director with that offer. Was that a reveal? What do you mean?

Is it known that Haley Joel Osment is a robot in that whole film? Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's like the whole... I haven't seen AI, which is crazy because I love robots. But I hope not. This is a robot heavy episode. Yeah, man. Robots.

One of my old flatmates, a guy called Matt Frost, looks like Hayley Joel Osment all grown up. I thought you were going to say looks like a robot. No, and we used to go to, we'd go to sort of bars with him and stuff and we'd get him to walk up to the front of the line and one of us would go up with him and say,

hey, I'm here with Hayley Joel Osmond. He's just visiting the country on a film shoot. And we'd get into bars. That's so funny because Hayley Joel Osmond growing up looks like, and this is rough because he's super funny and talented, but like a big baby. Like a really, like one of those adult grown up babies.

This guy, Matt Frost, he's got a bit of a baby face. Have you seen him in Always Sunny where he like plays mac no fuck it's funny good god it's good stuff um oh yeah i wanted to principal tardio has a he's writing a letter on his screen um during the last day of school and i really want to know what it is and i don't think the resolution is high enough for me to like zoom in in the background and figure it out. But you can definitely tell by the way

that the text is laid out, that it's a letter. And I wondered if it's this letter of resignation to the superintendent of the district. Do you think that's something that they thought of in grownups too? Because I do feel like the people who, we've said it before,

the set dressers in the props department really put a lot of effort into it. So I feel like maybe they were sneaking in because it's not like Arrested Development is a good example of all of the newspaper articles

and stuff that you see in passing and everything that is like just loaded Mitch Hurwitz Hurwitz

just packed that thing full of gags it would be nice if they had I mean I guess we would know by now yeah there's the blue footprints bro Just packed that thing full of eggs. It would be nice if they had... I mean, I guess we would know by now. Yeah, there's the blue footprints, bro.

Yeah. Principal Tardio's blue footprints from walking out of his car, which is filled with blue paint. Actually, you know, Tim, what really gives me a kick is when you lay into some expert level grown-ups who do shit like that,

and you're like, yeah, bro, we got our Easter eggs, the blue footprints. And then, do you know what we do for free out of respect for you the listener is we share these hidden gems so when you're at a cocktail party you can pass yourself off as a preeminent grown-ups to expert which while not a particularly lucrative industry right now surely there's going to be a market for it at some point in the future yeah hey rich Hey, Richard. What a delicious Tom Collins. By the way, did you realize that when Bean is reading the menu to the ice cream parlor,

he's holding it upside down? Bet you didn't. You only cracked that on like the fifth watch. We had a fan reach out to us about that like it was an Easter egg. It's not an Easter egg. It's not an Easter egg. It's just a big gag. Yeah, like good on you for getting in touch, but it's very signposted.

It's there. Also, in exciting news, We've had a wonderful designer has somehow found the drinking rules, written them into this beautiful piece of text. I'm just going to source her name for you. It's one of those really cool typography posters where it all looks dope. She's based out of Brooklyn, New York City

where they paint murals of Biggie. I don't understand how she got the... I don't understand how anyone got the rules out of that episode, though. I don't remember the episode, and I'm not sure I've listened to it since we recorded it. Pauline Vassiliadis. Pauline Vassiliadis. We'll share it on the Facebook page.

It's really lovely. It's cool. So, for those of you who have been hanging out to play the drinking game, it's going to happen soon. Oh, you should do it. And you should, like, maybe, I don't know if this is cool with you. What's your name again? Pauline.

Pauline. Pauline. Print it out. Put it on your wall. Pauline. Pauline. Pauline. I'm begging you, please don't take my man.

Miley Cyrus does a really good like before she have you seen that? with Jolene she does she has a really good cover of Jolene it's probably the best thing she's ever recorded

that I've heard and I've heard it all right up there with Party in the USA yeah man Patty do you reckon when Patty and Miley

are having coitus Patty goes right now yeah well namely do you reckon they're doing it right now and secondly do you reckon he're doing it right now and secondly do you reckon he goes

petty in the USA and she's got like a USA tattoo on her I'd be terrified to have sex with Miley Cyrus you're gonna say

Patrick Schwartz well kind of either but I just think it'd be a really scary proposition it'd be yeah I'd be intimidated

I'd be very intimidated because if yeah her public persona now is so out there so sexually charged yeah i feel like she'd i actually really respect she'd rip your genitals out i respect what miley's done with her fuck man we are really dancing around grown-ups too this week um there's a tim you said a very you said a very poignant thing what in the movie when i was talking about and how the movie's a reflection of us which was

we're looking in the abyss and the abyss is looking back into us yeah yeah dude I just don't give a flying

fucking cunt of a shit anymore aye if it was up to me I tell you what I wouldn't have watched it this many times and do you wanna see

the puddle of goo that my brain has turned into while watching this movie is one of the observations i wrote down in my notebook yeah is americans are good at basketball that was the entire thought jesus mate and like obviously they're the home of the nba they're the olympic and world champs like obviously they're the home of the NBA they're the Olympic and world champs it's one of the national sports mate

it's right up there it's baseball I love it how one thing that's always sort of that doesn't ever irks me but I've found curious about Americans is like

you win the Super Bowl yeah and you're the world champs yeah and like I'm not saying that those football teams aren't the best football teams in the world

but it's like it's fucking horse shit for you guys to call it the world champs when it's only competed for in america it's the same with baseball they call it they call it the world series they're the only country that fucking head out of your asshole and like call it the american champs i don't know look i'm sorry i don't mean it we've brought this i've brought this up in a previous episode but there's also the whole rugby thing how they're the world champs of rugby because they competed in one olympics games and won it when rugby was in the olympic games and

like the 20s are they the defending olympic champions yeah yeah that's pretty cool but like full credit them there are other countries there yeah anyway i noticed that they're good at basketball uh like there's not a lot because there's a few um in the background of shot there's quite a few people like in the gym they're're shooting some hoops down the ice cream parlor. There's a little game of half court going on in the background. Not a lot of missed baskets. Yeah, but it is a movie. Yeah, but like think about it.

They don't care whether or not the shot in the background of shot. They don't care about whether or not the basket is made or not. So they're just going to use the footage in which the actors gave the best performance don't take this the wrong way but i don't fucking care about what you're talking about right now i'll finish the point okay which is just that so statistically speaking like for i guess maybe they missed all the other shots and all the other takes but i think that's's really unlikely. I think you got to give it up for the extras who are playing basketball on this movie. All right, good on you.

Well done. Hey, cool, bro. Hey, yeah, it's really fun doing this podcast with you, bro. Hey, I'm having a really fucking good time spending like literally, not even just to record the podcast now, but trying to organize this trip. I had a really good time

spending like three hours of every fucking day of my life with you, all built around grownups too, bro. Live it up, bro. There's a lot of people who wish they could spend three hours a day with me every day. I honestly couldn't name one. Yeah. Look, I'm sorry.

Let's not turn on each other. It's going to be a long four weeks if we do it at this point. What happens if we have a falling out nothing good eh nothing good at all and like the one thing that's keeping us together as grown-ups too it's like a terrible marriage and grown-ups we're doing it we're doing it for the kid but that's yeah i mean because that because then we've crossed over into something completely different wherein the podcast, the movie has gone from like sort of a thing that we dislike, I guess you could say, together

or to the one thing, the one thread of friendship that still unites us and then maybe from there we can build through the falling out. I think what we need to do is put this little baby to rest. Or get couples counselling. It'd be pretty funny if we went to couples counselling. So how long have you been together?

48 weeks. What seems to be the problem? Tim hardly looks at me during. So you had a point before. What I was going to say, Guy, is that I couldn't help but notice in the film this week, just to bring us back on track a little bit as to why we're here,

that Kevin James' car is the smokiest car I've ever seen in a movie. His wife's car. He drives a truck, but when he's on the way to the car wash, you mean? Yeah. It's just like, and it's not a cold day. It's definitely not steam.

On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at one peloton.ca slash running whatever it's fucking smoke the dude's a fucking auto mechanic like the fuck man there's something wrong with the car

have a look at it big time it's your wife's car yeah your kids are around it they're breathing in the fumes the fucking exhaust coming out of the environment and what he doesn't appreciate over there in standing connecticut it's all these greenhouse gases he's pumping into the atmosphere that's just widening the hole in the ozone layer over little old new zealand when i go outside i have to slap on spf 50 fucking eight o'clock in the morning you piece of shit that's what people don't realize man that hole in the ozone layer is directly above new Zealand. Whoops. I told some Canadians about it. And they, like, when I was at some sushi restaurant in Montreal, I don't know how I was eating with these people.

They were, I think they were rich. And I go, I was telling them about the hole in the ozone layer. And they were like, how many people live in New Zealand? I was like, about 4 million. They go, 4 million? We can just put you all in Alberta. I don't want to move to Alberta. I want to stay here.

You guys are a real problem solver. We've got like cool shellfish, like mussels. I bet you don't have that in Alberta. It's too cold for them. I don't think you're ever further than like four hours from the beach in New Zealand. That's what I love about this country you always buy our beach you know something comforting about that i love i think it's in um stepbrothers when will ferrell's wearing a t-shirt which says life's a beach that's classic is there a second bit to that it's not like in joe dirt where he says like life's a garden dig it no it's just it's just

life's a beach and maybe there's a picture of a beach on the t-shirt I feel like it's like a reddish pinkish kind of t-shirt and it's maybe yellow the print is in yellow that's how if I was yeah if I was to wear it those that's the color scheme I think I'd go for okay all right mate I don't even look that good in red uh another thing I noticed about the movie. Oh, we've got to do like a shining light at some point. I agree with nothing for that. Worse than that, bro. I've got a shining light,

aka the only remaining note in my book. Well, I'm going to transform. Got to go on a tour. We've got to throw a party. I feel like we've bitten off more than we can chew as hosts. I of steam i'm out of energy i'm out of gas what were you gonna say go on okay my shining light i've reappropriated it is the fact that uh chris rock so kevin james is obviously just chucking pollution into the atmosphere doesn't give a shit. Chris Rock's on board. That dude at dinnertime in his own family house

is drinking out of a plastic disposable cup. How fucking lazy are you, bro, that you're not washing glasses? That is pretty bad. He's probably got a dishwasher. Like, fuck. Yeah. It's intense. Come on.

It's weird for that to be the shining light and that it doesn't feel like a moment that you enjoyed. I enjoyed it this week because I hadn't, I think I noticed it, but hadn't consciously spent any time thinking about it. Okay. Here's a funny thing that you were saying also while watching the movie

is that if you were to notice a boom and shot yeah at this point in the project that your world would come crumbling down absolutely can you extrapolate on that for us well i've been looking for so long now for um either to see a lighting guy or a boom to just be hanging from the top of shot but it's not there man i've looked it's nowhere to be seen there are like a few little glitches with the film we've talked about a lot of them over the course of the podcast little continuity errors and things but there's no um big you don't see any crew in shot you don't see any like lighting rig

and you don't see a boom but if I saw it this watch of it it would just fucking blow my mind because it would be like it just got put in for me this week which doesn't make any sense sort of undo

your previous 47 watches. I legitimately feel like I've gone insane, and not in a fun way, but in a depressing way. I feel like I've gone bonkers. I don't know anything anymore. And four more watches just seems brutal. Four? Four.

Four. Is that right? It's a small number. Four. What's a small number four what's a bigger number tim if i put these two numbers on scales if i put 48 on one scale and four on the other which scale and and it was so it's 48 helpings of grown-ups two or four helpings of grown-ups two which scale would you choose but i've already i've already eaten the 48 so i'm like at vomiting i'm like i'm sick with grown-ups too it's infected my veins it's i've got like diabetes type grown-ups too and and now you're saying i know you've had a lot i know you've had four dozen helpings but bro all you need is a third

dozen more help yeah i i guess the the the the tragic thing about the situation you find yourself in is that the antidote for all of this grown-ups too you've consumed is ironically just a little bit more grown-ups too. Nothing works like that. That's like homeopathy logic. That works like this podcast. This podcast works like that. If a snake bites you, the cure is not more venom.

You know? I'm up to the fucking eyeballs in grown-ups too. And I can't take it anymore. And I just want to squeeze a little bit more into you. The other thing is that the joy in this project now is not, obviously it never was in watching the movie, but it's in watching you be miserable cheers bro well it's i'm like as uncomfortable with that thought as you are but like the only thing which i really get out of the project at this point is

is watching you invisible discomfort you are the definition of schadenfreude what's schadenfreude mean it It's like German for sour grapes, taking pleasure in other people's misery. But yeah, but it's quite a specific kind of schadenfreude. Like, I didn't know I had this. You've discovered a darkness in you, you didn't know that you possessed. My shining light.

It's kind of like in Lord of the Rings, the one ring. One ring to rule them all. Like you're wielding a lot of power and you're discovering little evil parts of yourself do you think this project is derailing me as a person i think it's making you a worse person do you think specifically within the world of the podcast or do you think in my general life oh no you as a person you as a complete person the whole package yeah not just guy montgomery from the worst of all time but guy montgomery from charlotte alexander halifax montgomery born in christchurch in 1987 born in wellington in 1988 do you even know me bro can't nah you've lost credibility took a few stab stabs. Didn't pay out. My shining light is in the supermarket

and the background is shot. There is a milk carton with the word chug on it, which means that there's a brand of milk either in the standard Connecticut or in all of America called chug. That is a fucking dope name for a milk company. It's also kind of paradoxical because chug is one of the last things I think of when I think of milk. We saw a dude chugging milk last night.

It wasn't pleasant. We saw the aftermath of it. Went to a comedy gig. It was iced tea. Oh, was it? He chugged a lot of iced tea oh was it he chugged a lot of iced tea i thought it was we should have chugged we went to a comedy gig and the guy's act was um basically he laid down a lot of newspaper in a bowl in the center and uh prior to the show starting he had drunk like two liters of what i thought was milk evidently iced tea and was just gonna vomit

in a bucket no but he did a few one-liners first and then he said sorry i'm not feeling very well i ate some pink chicken today and i just drank two liters of iced tea green tea and he started trying to um vomit yeah and then he couldn't and then he said this will make it better and put on come on eileen by dexys midnight runners and proceeded to spend about a minute with his hand down his mouth. Yeah. And he vomited a little bit into the bowl. And then he drank it again. But.

And when he drank it. Shout out to David. When he drank it. Shout out to David Kourios. When he drank it, he put on Happy by Pharrell. He thought he was going to vomit a lot more than he did. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. That was my Sh light is chug

i'm not going to sing the song today guy i don't have it in me which song either either can you Patty Schwartz, party time. Patty Schwartz ate Valium. And now he doesn't want to party so hard. No, I'm just trying to qualify the low energy. I think where we're at is more of a lithium kind of a vibe. What does lithium do? You have it when you're like really in a very bad way with depression. And I think it kind of just numbs you.

On the periodic table? Yeah, it's an element. Yep. Buzzy. Lithium. It's also a... No, that's glycerine. Oh, yeah, it is too. It's the thing in the Bush song.

Yeah, but there is a song by... Don't let the days go by. Did you hear Homer Simpson's cover of that song? Glycerine. Margarine? That's so good. But what I was thinking of was the Nirvana song. But again, that's neither here nor there.

What is here or there is Padish... Padish Wars! Party time! It's Padish Wars party time! It's party time with Padish Wars! He's riding around the house on his favorite little cat. Now it's a kitten.

His name is Michael. Patrick, get off the kitten. It's not strong enough for a human being. I didn't even enjoy that. I didn't know you had it in you though. I'm proud of you. Do you have one? If you're listening patty fucking shout us a slice of blaze pizza bro patty what would be great when we come to la

and i want to um take this moment to say okay holy fuck my ass thank you so much if you have given us any money in the even if you haven't thank you it you so much if you have given us any money in the Indiegogo. Even if you haven't, thank you. But especially if you have. Especially if you have. But it has been probably one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life to see us launch a silly little Indiegogo. And just the outreach of... The enthusiasm.

The enthusiasm and the consumption of it i don't know how i'm even talking it's just been insane people have approached it with a lot of gusto they've just been throwing money at us hand over first and it's it's just lovely it's really lovely it's thanks it's fucking awesome we're gonna um we'll make a little thank you something video of us just saying thanks barreling the camera having said that

I don't know if it can be today cause so you can feel it so you can feel the things I feel I feel blue that's okay I feel blue bro

that's okay be happy people have now officially paid I mean by proxy I guess they've paid for you to feel blue

I can take no joy in that right now my Paddy Schwartz party time from the movie actually is in one of the bits he's the party scene

with all the frat boys he's standing next to Jared Sandler nephew of Adam and and they both don't look 100% confident

in their choices as actors and I thought hashtag nepotism, how are you? What? What do you mean? I was like, well, you know. They both can't act and they're both in the movie as a result of who they're related to?

Is that what you're getting at? Yeah. Okay, cool. All right. It's an interesting one for party time. It's a little bleak. But then again, I had a pretty fucked up one from A Shining Light. It's old school, bro. Yeah. it's a little bleak but then again i had a pretty fucked up one from a shining light it's old school bro yeah it's a throwback if jfk was president now he would not be like revered like he was what's your point sir jfk key jfk was just he was like, he played the president card pretty hard with his life, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was getting out there, shaking hands. Certainly was. Kissing babies. Kissing babies. Kissing babes. Kissing babes. That's what I'm saying.

And what I'm saying is that it's old school. In the same way, you know, just getting Patty and Jared in the film, it's old school in the same way you know just getting your getting patty and jared in the film it's old school it's just like look you know i know this isn't going to be completely popular but we're doing it old school right i i really feel like we're fucking meandering down a track to nowhere then let us jump on a bus that'll take us far away to our resting place. You can front foot this one. We don't have to watch the movie for another week. You're being a lazy lover this week too. Bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum. Bum. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. Ooh, ah, ee. Ah, ooh, ah, ooh. Roll up. It's an inspiration. Roll up for the mystery tour and...

Roll up. Roll up for the mystery tour and... The Steve Bootsy Me Mystery tour Is coming to take me away Coming to take me away Take me to day That was a weird one. Steve Buscemi's in the fucking movie He's pretty fucking injured his arms are

like in the touchdown yeah you've heard this what happened to him is this what happened to him is this tell me are you familiar with the harsh show me show me show me how you do that trick the one that makes me scream she said the one that makes me laugh she said throw her arms around my head show me how you do it and i promise you i promise that i'll run away with you would you like the cure uh no i don't actually no did you like it then yeah i did then i like your version of it i do know what the Haas seagull is it's probably the greatest bird of all time

tragically extinct because when the the Maldi ate all of the Moa which was a big land mammal a land based bird here in New Zealand

it wasn't a mammal it was a bird can a bird be a mammal do you know that we're all ungulates anyway so the Haas seagull was made extinct

because humans ate all of its food and the mower was the only thing big enough to sustain it as a food source because the harst eagle was so fucking massive a mower for reference is like i don't know if it's twice the size of an ostrich they grew to something like three meters tall when they were adults mower's a big bird big old bird couldn't fly har hast eagle ate that ate that that's how big this bird is um so apparently the hast eagle if it was around today would be a genuine threat to humans it would pick up kids right that's how intense that bird is and it was it's endemic or it was endemic to new zealand you can only get it here as far as we know anywho um my point being

in the first movie there's a harsh eagle okay steve buscemi um has twins in the first movie twin babies twin baby boys and they're newborns and he's so delighted when they're first born that he runs outside of the delivery room with them, like Rafiki in Lion King, and holds them up in the air, one in each arm, just delighted, ready to show the world his beautiful new baby boys. With Sherry Terry. Correct. No, his first wife.

Different wife. Yeah, different wife. And a harsh eagle comes, and in each talon, clutches one of the babies, grabs them out of Steve Buscemi's arms, flies away, never to be seen again. Steve Buscemi is so psychologically scarred by this event that he can't move his arms out of that position.

So whilst a lot of people think it was a physical injury that put him in that locked position, it's actually psychological torment of seeing his first and only newborn children taken away from him by a harsh eagle. And it caused such a horrific, sort of a post-traumatic stress... It would affect your muscle tissue,

presumably holding your arms up like that as well. It actually affected his nervous system which meant he only had 40% feeling in his body for a long time. Wow dude that was a good one Thank you. Now it's time for us to leave Guy. Back into the world sons, grown ups too

for 7 days Oh man I feel like we're getting off a boat that we've been on forever yeah um look shit bro what how good is it gonna feel when you say that and it's like and never again yeah in one month um if you're in la or can get to la we'd so love to see you we've got two events the first one is at cinna, and that's on the 17th of Feb, which will be our one-year anniversary. You can buy tickets on that.

The second one is at UCB Sunset. It's the new UCB venue. I think it's in West Hollywood, and that's going to be at 8 p.m.? Yeah, it's on the 18th. It's on the 18th. It's the night afterwards, and that's going to be – should we announce it now, a very special one-off event? Yes, absolutely.

Let us. We are going to be having we're going to watch Grown Ups. We haven't actually we're not doing it at the venue. The first one we're talking about. We're going to watch Grown Ups 1. Finally.

I'm so fucking excited about it. What we could do is try and organise maybe somewhere a public space or somewhere we can all watch it together. Like a bar, a sports bar or something. A bar or even a house. If someone had a house they wanted to share with us and fans. We're going to watch that.

Then we're going to go to UCB Sunset and we're going to record a special edition of the podcast. It's probably going to be really upbeat. Yeah. So that's on the 18th at UCB Sunset. And once again, thank you so much for all of your ludicrously generous donations to the two people

who gave 400 US dollars thank you you will get your handwritten copy of Grown Ups 2 from memory as written by myself and Tim

yeah thank you and also fuck you both of those if you want to donate head along to Indiegogo worst city of all time

yeah I'll chuck it up on the Facebook I'll put it to the top you'll see it just fucking get out there get on the Google if you want to donate head along to Indiegogo worst city of all time yeah I'll chuck it up on the Facebook I'll put it to the top you'll see it just fucking get out there get on the Google you know how it works

and fucking just go about your lives people you know like just go and love every moment yeah I would what I like to do you know on the occasion

is I go out there and I just love every day because my dad said one time to me he said what did he say?

He said, before you know it, Tim, your precious time slips away. My dad used to say exactly the same thing to me. Good on you, Dad. And all dads. See you guys. day cause before you know it your precious time slips away