The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E27 - Unsympathetic

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESGuy and Tim are back! Now separated by different seas and timezones, Tim is recording from a five-star resort in Thailand while Guy has just arrived into Sydney, Australia. With a renewed vigour and keen desire to add some Grown Ups 2 back to the mix, the lads are well and truly back after a significant absence. Loaded with more conspiratorial theories on Michael Patrick King, Mr Big (and his Big Book of Ideas) and a surprisingly long chat on Sony's beleaguered Minidisc technology - this truly is an unmissable chapter of the journey.Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? Fizz is 100% online. so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hello, listeners. Meet Lisa. Hey there. Lisa runs an online boutique specializing in sustainable fashion. With ACAST, she found a whole new way to reach eco-conscious shoppers.

Yep, I recorded a quick ad, targeted listeners interested in fashion and sustainability using ACAST's audience attributes targeting feature and set my budget. Before I knew it, people all over were hearing about my shop. Now, that's a smart way to grow your business. Hey Lisa, what's trending right now? Shopping sustainably, and my sales, of course. Start reaching your ideal audience through podcast ads with ACAST. Visit go.acast.com

slash advertise to get started. of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season two Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time Episode 27 My name is Tim Batt

My name is Guy Montgomery And we are now in the 27 club Yeah we are With such illustrious company as Mama Cass Jimmy Hendrix Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse Janice Joplin We've made it

Some of the greats I am ready to join that club I'm almost than one right now Because that was a very sad watch I am pretty much ready in my own life Tim Well I am inclined to agree with you Actually quickly

Well you know Obviously Tim and I are still in different parts of the world I'm currently in Sydney Australia I got here last night And I woke up, and of course my first point of order was to check in with my good friends, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. And Tim, if I'm not mistaken, it's the sound of tropical birds and waves in the background. Yeah, I'm coming to you via satellite from tropical Pouquet, Thailand, in like literally Paradise. I'm in a five-star resort. It is sick.

I don't know if it's, I don't know if it'll get picked up on the microphone, but there's waves that have just been crashing. um which has seeped slowly in around my headphones which has been giving me sex in the city too for the last two and a half hours so you watched the movie outdoors today yeah on our balcony um which faces the beach like i'll take a photo because it's fucking unbelievable to be honest 30 degree heat 87% humidity for our american brothers and sisters it's like 80 degrees Fahrenheit i'm in the lap of luxury and i couldn't be sadder about it. It's the same

percentage of humidity for those maths freaks who were confused there. Well, I can be, I'm in a pretty different situation

so I slept on a couch last night at my friend's house and they all were up and at him early on this morning

and now I just sort of woke up as they left and turned it on the movie. I kind of feel like I've done something bad or naughty

like they've let me in their house and I've just taken a shit in the lounge. I hear Yeah, yeah, I feel like I've really sullied this gorgeous, well-manacured ground that I'm on by just shitting on it with this film. It's just filled with sadness this week more than anything else. It's just such a depressing, sad watch.

Like, it honestly, it took a lot to bring me down from the fabulous hold I've been having in this great little resort. But it did it. Mission accomplished. Well, done, you bitches. You got me again. Didn't know you had it in you. well yeah i i felt pretty sad i was my body's very confused as to what the time is as well so it was a real energy journey as well as an emotional journey um i mean there's not a lot to enjoy there was a little bit

during the movie where it's sort of i was um i became quite zen i think i might as i can't remember if i was speaking about this before but where it's sort of like you're in such a, what I imagine it would feel like in the middle of a marathon or whatever when suddenly your brain clicks over from being like, oh, this is so iduous and exhausting to like, you're just sort of so stuck in the moment that your brain gets to wander down actual interesting or practical avenues of thought. But the trouble was, as soon as I realized that, I sort of broke the Zen like spell. Ah. So you've started meditating using Sex and the City too. Yeah. I mean, I think there is, there was definitely a sort of familiar tinge to the movie this week

in the same way that I remember the experience with grown-ups too and actually that might have been brought on very early on in the film the wedding invitation that they reveal for Stanford and Anthony's wedding tells us that the wedding is in Connecticut yes and she says that in the voiceover as well because it's one of the few places at the time when the film was made that had same-sex marriage legalized. Well, and I couldn't help but start getting really riled up

and excited at the prospect of Lenny and the boys gate crashing the wedding. Holy shit, I forgot. Oh my God. What witchcraft is this? Well, this is a thing, right? That's an amazing find. How have we not picked that up before? I really don't know.

But I thought, you know, maybe Lenny knows. Maybe Lenny was friends with Steve at university or whatever, he knows he's coming in to see Steve at the wedding. Steve's like, oh, yeah, you can come in and just don't make any ruckus. And all the guys just show up and go ballistic. And the thing is, I feel like, you know, they all share probably a similar sense of humor. Like, you know, all the ladies are making those great classic homophobic gags at the wedding and big. I feel like they could slide right in with that particular band of merry men.

I would love to see a movie where Lamansoff, Lenny, everyone else is desperately falling over themselves to try not to offend gay people while having no experience with people other than the redneck community they grew up in. It would be such a delightful comedy. Can you not imagine that big wedding moment? Marzell Tov, where Carrie gives us that classic voiceover,

like it or not tradition creeps in if Lamansoft just busted out a piping hot burp snart to celebrate the matrimony There is something uniquely disgusting about describing the burp stut as piping hot that is visceral and disgusting I don't know

I just made me gag because this isn't really important to you listen but Tim and I have suffered through a technical hitch when we planned to watch the movie yesterday but it didn't time out And accordingly, I spent about four hours of my flight from Kuala Lumpur to Sydney just thinking about all the different, like, just thinking about sex in the city too

and the whole, you know, what we're doing. And I was growing up stewers creeping in there. Take me through your notes because you wrote some stuff down, eh? Yeah, I wrote some stuff on the plane. So I started off trying to recount the plot, but I got bored. I had hi I'm Carrie, I live in New York City with all my friends and have done for quite a while now we used to be tolerable but isn't it how funny

how time changes things and then the next plot point I had was we're all at a wedding a gay wedding it is very important we emphasise it's gay why is that you ask well originally because we thought it might be a good opportunity to celebrate marriage equality and show up aggressive we are but the more we went on the more we discovered

it was a great opportunity to milk for laughs Yeah, it's like in Broad City What's the other girl's name? Who's not Lana? Abbey. Abbey. Abbey goes to Lana. Sometimes you're so unracist

that you're actually just racist. This movie's like that. It's like they're so desperate to try and prove that homosexuality's okay that they're definitely, definitely not okay with it. Yeah. So the thing is I wound up sort of trying to recreate all these through lines between sex and the city two and grown-ups two. Like, I was trying to figure out which grown-ups two character is which Sex and the City

two character. Oh, yeah. Have we played that game before? I'm not sure if we have. The strongest connection I made was Samantha and Higgins. Well, because, like, they're the most likable probably. All they're trying to do is get some, get some nooky or whatever they want, whatever colloquial term they want to call it.

They've got quite similar hair. Yeah, too. It's kind of like wispy and blonde. All this shit's happening around them, and all they want to do is, you know, bang the pizza boy or girl or whatever. You'd be forgiven for forgetting ladies and gents at home that Higgins is played by David Spade.

I don't know that you would be forgiven. If you've made it this far run. I'll forgive you, Guy, I will not. That's how it stands at the moment. And then it was like Carrie, I thought was Lenny, just because they're the protagonist. Yeah, and they're both kind of frustratingly presented as if you're supposed to care about them, but undeniably... It's hard, too.

What's the word for, like, you can't sympathize with someone? Because it's not unsympathetic, because that means they're not being sympathetic. But, like, it's impossible to sympathize with them. Horrible? I mean, horrible is a pretty good synonym for unsympathetic. Whatever it is. But I'm sorry. Keep going.

Lamansoff? Well, I mean, it was sort of a toss-up, but I thought Charlotte and Lamansov are probably the most similar, in that they're sort of, they're both just quite a menace to be around. Like, there's not, there's not a lot of positives to be gleaned from their company. And they're also destroying their relationships through, like, stunted development and inability to communicate. With Charlotte, it's in that she doesn't talk about any of her relationship. affairs with Runkle, she just sort of... You're going deep. I love it. And with Lavinsoff, it's that he keeps fucking sneaking off to watch days of his lives with his mum, sort of hanging out with his sweet-ass wife. Yeah. And, yeah, and then that sort of left just by virtue of being the only... So then that makes, by that reckoning, that makes Steve Sally, doesn't it?

Miranda and McKenzie. Steve, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Steve and Sally, yeah. I mean, Steve and Sally, now, there's a movie. If we could somehow get the rights to these characters. Mrs. Lemonsoff and Steve trick it out. I think they would be a dynamite couple. I'll be the first to say it.

They probably went to some like frat or sorority party together at university with Lenny, like, you know, and saw each other in passing, but nothing came of it. This is the train in the night situation that should have been. Yeah, I mean, ships. What is they saying? Whatever it is. ships and trains travel by night too but they usually since they're on one rail they don't sort of just glide past each other like ships imagine if they did though this it's sort of like something

happened at night what it would wind up like able to go through each other what would wind up being it's like a harry potter plot it would be like a this would be like a sliding doors butterfly effect sex in the city two grownups to mash up where we could unpack the backstories and sort of see how how it could have been well i would rather the opportunity to do so um but i don't think anyone's going to part with the rights to these rich franchises that are clearly gearing up for more sequels do you think we're going to see another grown-ups uh i wouldn't i wouldn't be right i mean i feel like adam sandler's just chucking whatever he wants at that netflix deal so it wouldn't yeah he's got a what has he got to

fill up there seven movies is it that he signed yeah i think he's done too i almost watched the cobbler on the plane i've heard such weird disparate things about the cobbler because a couple of people are really standing by it but most people just say it's a real wreck yeah well i watched i watched dead pod society instead which is actually quite good that's probably a better choice yeah oh my god i'm sticking to my chair this is so bad i haven't drank any water out here either so um i might sound a bit stupid it's just because i'm like um medically dehydrated right now but i feel good because the movie's over now Hey, did you notice?

Oh, you go. At the start, I think that the movie's trying to tell us to pay attention to coffee guy. Because in one of the first shots of the movie where Carrie's giving everyone's backstory and how they're connected to her because the world revolves around Ms. Bradshaw. And she says that Charlotte and her met when a homeless man dropped his pants. And a truck drives past Charlotte at that moment where the camera is directly on her. And what's in that truck? Coffee beans, Guy.

The movie is directing us to pay attention. it's putting a red flag there to say this is important pay attention to coffee and coffee related personas for a movie about coffee i'm still so confident that none of the coffee cups contain any caffeine whatsoever there's nothing in any of them and you will never convince me of otherwise they're so obviously empty and i think we can especially bigs we can also definitely yeah definitely big's not having any caffeine he's been miming just to maintain the illusion that he's got any money whatsoever. Hugely.

But, and more than that, maybe that Michael Patrick King has got everyone's sedated theory runs a little deeper and he's sort of banned coffee outright from the set. Huh. And all the gals are like,

you know, it would be easier for us to act in this scene if we actually had coffee in our cups and he's like, no! But they're so docile they can't actually like speak back in the same sort of energy realm. So they're just like,

why can't we have coffee? He goes, you'll never understand. I don't know Do you think as a placeholder Because the girls needed something He just started dumping all of his cigar Ash into cups But they were like

You do know what It'd probably just be easier If they were empty We'll imagine Yeah that's classic MKP He's a funny dude Hey no shit man Charlotte's Petrie

I've had bedroom smaller than that thing I really took a good look at the dimensions This week I was like you guys are taking the absolute Mackey with this thing. It's so ludicrously big. Well, yeah, I actually I don't know what it was about the situation.

I felt, I don't know if it was sympathy for Charlotte or myself, but the screaming children when she showed herself in the pantry really got to me. Oh yeah? Yeah, there's something about it. Yeah, I mean, I was surrounded by screaming babies yesterday on the plane, so maybe it was a hangover from that.

And I was sitting there, I was like confused and tired and kind of becoming irate, which is unreasonable. And I was like, what you know with my knees pretty much next to my ears being like what are these babies screaming about they're never going to be more comfortable on a plane is it was it while you were in the ear or while you were not in the ear it was both because if it's when you're in the air there's a lot of pressure yeah babies have shit ears well i thought it could also be because they've found out maybe they've just sort of developed the consciousness to understand that

they'll never be as comfortable on a flight again and so it's a scream for the future That's pretty bleak A pretty bleak assessment of why a child might be crying on a plane Hey I got a new continuity era this week Which I was pretty proud of You want to hear it? Yes In the slow motion shot with the Aussie rugby team

Who are there for the World Cup trials Once again, can't stress this enough Not a thing, couldn't even be a thing When they've got the slow motion shot of them diving into the pool them we hear about Samantha's diminished sex drive and how that is the end of the world. Miranda's actually in the back of shot tucking into some food with a knife and fork and I say bloody good on her because despite the fact that these girls are surrounded by food the entire film, they're never seen eaten except in that one shot.

So she's tucking into a plate of a hope steak. It was probably a defiant play by Cynthia Nixon against the very direct-ins-react. from Michael Patrick King not to consume any caffeine or actually eat any form of food whatsoever, less their energy weight them from their comatose and have them realize what's happening. Do you think, oh, okay, let me check out what the continuity areas. When you go back to normal speed, so it's not in slow motion anymore, she's drinking a tall cocktail. So they're like two very different things that she's doing. But you only notice that if you keep your eye on, old Professor Oaken see what he's up to in the back of shot.

But do you think Michael Patrick King, like, he just kind of, he's very confused about world cultures, and he heard something about Ramadan. So he's like, this movie is eventually shooting in the Middle East somewhere. So we can't have any coffee or food consumed anywhere on set. And he's just kind of got all these weird, disparate cultural norms and kind of fuck them up and throwing them in the pot. I feel like, yeah, he, I think he doesn't have, he's got a very loose concept on, like, grasp of time as well. Because on the wedding invitation, it said July 24th, and we've talked about how the timeline jumps all over the place. But July 24th, which would mean, you know,

because it is July 4 when they're banging at the end of the movie, and it's August at some point. I mean, it's just... August 3rd. No, that actually makes sense. If the wedding took place on July 24th, when Carrie wakes up in the middle of the night from memory, it's the 3rd of August.

So that's pretty... No, it's fine. Because Carrie said it's a few... She says it's a few weeks of Sweet. marriage with Mr. Big like in between there's so many weeks apart I mean it's really

oh true I also I don't know I've picked out some fun stuff this week to try and make it okay like I thought I thought that maybe maybe one of the problems

with the relationship and this is probably just from repeated doings that's making me think about this but every anniversary Carrie gets big a really awesome gift and every anniversary

big just buys the later's TV. So he's just constantly trying to sneak a base and thinks that he could get away with it. He just keeps, and she's like, you know it's going to be redundant in a year. Why do you keep doing this? No, no. This one's got 3D technology. This is going to be the next big thing.

You know how I got that full HD one last year? Forget about it. Burn it. Throw it away. You already did. Because you got real mad at me and I slept on the couch for a month. This one's got 3D though, baby. Now put these glasses on.

and be transported to a world you've never seen before, a Jurassic World. And he bought a Jurassic World. Yeah, and it also had a built-in minisc player, and Kerry's just like... God bless you for bringing up that beleaguered, too oft-forgotten technology. Well, the thing that... Sony tried to cram down our throats for so long. This was Mr. Big's big idea, from his big idea... Mr. Big's big idea of books, as he started...

Mr. Big... Hold on, you will get us that correctly. Mr. Big's big book of ideas. Yeah, so he's been buying up all the TVs in New York with whatever remains of their money. And himself, he's been hand-fitting them with mini-disclayers. Oh, that's good. That's bloody good. So that you can soundtrack your own episodes of Deadliest Catch, or it happened one-nine, or whatever black-and-white film you might happen to be watching.

Do you know, so I used to, I had several mini-disp players, and they were fine, except that the software that you had to use that Sony put out, so it was like their early version of iTunes, it literally broke three family computers that we had, just kept installing it, and it would destroy the machine. It's so bad. So I don't know what kind of,

I don't know what big would be playing at trying to get these TVs out into NYC, but I feel like it would be worse than, you know, when everyone thought the computers would shut down in Y2K, it'd be like he'd create his own, mini-disc ushered in tech apocalypse. Well the thing is because there were other scientists, there's another

sign this week I found which that big doesn't even have a basic understanding of finance or anything. It's that the TV show is watching when he throws the remote away. It's a CNN show. I don't know if it's real or not, but it's called money summary.

The show, as I understand it, is pretty much just an explanation from a man with white hair and a suit of how like what money is and how an economy actually works? The concept of money. And he keeps trying to watch this TV show

every week, but Carrie never lets him? So is he trying, like he's somehow stumbled his way through his good looks and deep voice and confidence. He's swaggered his way into a job that he's grossly unqualified for and control of billions of dollars and now he's trying to start up from economics 101

to figure out what exactly he's doing when he goes to the office day. after day. So not only is he trying to get this bloody money disc and the TV business off the ground, but at the same time he's just trying to understand what money is. Good on him. He's been winging it for too long. Too many bosses in that situation or middle management would just continue to wing it.

But I say good on him for either having the fear that he's going to be found out and doing something about it or the passion of self-improvement to try and learn what the fuck he's doing every day while he's bashing keyboards. Good on him. Oh, man. I'm just drained. I feel like this movie sucked all of the muscles out of my body, and I'm just a bag of flesh and bones.

Oh, I'd like to extend gratitude, because I was definitely in the pits of despair last week, and I think we really captured that on the microphone and got that out onto the internet. No, I don't want to go back there. You stood up some real concern amongst the fans. hey you stood up some real concern amongst the listeners i that's what i wanted to say i wanted to say thank you very much for everyone who extended um some concern and uh support and just told me to stick

in there it's much it's hugely appreciated it's much appreciated it's a good thing um i want to announce now and i'll do it at the end as well so you remember but i want to remind all y'all that guy and i are actually gearing up to go back to los angeles to do the podcast festival which is in just a couple of weeks I think just a couple of short weeks it's on the 19th and 20th unless I'm mistaken of September

and if you're not able to go which you know if you think about it statistically it's quite likely is you then you can buy a streaming ticket for $25

but if you use the code worst they only charge you 20 of their US dollars and you get to watch the whole thing play out online plus get access to the video for three weeks to go back and watch at a time of your leisure and it's like there are some big dogs at this festival the biggest dogs of all and i saw this morning that uh andy daly's going to be the guest on spontaneous nation for the pod fest weekend which is a joy to hear hey if you haven't got into pauliffe tompkins spontaneous nation yet

do yourself a bloody favor i don't even know who i'd be talking to because i assume if you're listening to our one you know about podcast, so you'd know about that one, but you've got to get in on it. It's too good. We've got a whole, we've got a pocket of die-hard Sex and the City 2 fans who don't know anything about podcasts. Oh man, that would bring me great joy.

I'd like to think we're opening up a new medium. We're inspiring fan fictions by proper Sex and the City 2 fans. I want to see some Tim and Guy fictions. That's what I would love. You're greedy. You're greedy. You're a greedy, mate. You're a greedy guy.

I know. I know, I know. But it would just like, I'd really feel like, imagine someone who wrote a fan fiction for you Tim penned by Guy Montgomery okay the year is 2016 the month February

Guy and Tim stop watching sex in the city too then what fuck I don't know I thought that was a pretty good fan fiction as it was I get well it's more of yeah okay we'll go with that Everyone cancelled your literary works A guy has nailed storytelling Yeah

Don't bother writing anything ever again Because nothing will be as good as what Brevity is the soul of wit Said Michael Patrick King I've got a shining light for you Tim Oh yeah I forgot we did that Hit me with it So

When Samantha and Nicky start having loud sex At the big gay wedding Of a big gay Humans who all want to fuck Mr Big Because he's got no idea It's like the music festival We have in New Zealand Big Day Out, big gay wedding

You've got to say it like that every time So they're having sex really loudly And during the sort of Establishing shot of the house So that it's understood how loud it is And we see sort of people milling around the entrance to the house There are two guys and there's like a bunch of guys in suits But I was sort of on the bottom right of frame

There's two guys in suits And one of them has his hand around the neck and the head of the other guy. A taller guy has his hand around the sort of the head and neck of a shorter guy. And he's making, like, I wouldn't say aggressive advances, but what are undeniably advances? And the shorter guy's just not into it at all. Oh, my.

It's not good. There's like two, there's kind of two movements where the taller guy's like, oh, yeah, come on, but give us a smooch. And the little guy's like, I ain't smooching you, I'm happy. and then the little guy actually defers to the loud sex noises to sort of weasel out of it and before you know it the the shot's gone but it's sort of I mean it's

I love that what you've just described takes place in probably two thirds of one second I know and it's so rich with story in detail like so many there's stuff happening there huh there's so many loose threads in this film which go untugged you know how you tug on a loose thread

yeah i've got you man i'm on board uh slow down the metaphor wagon i need to really understand what you're talking about what is a thread like you know if you've got a if you got a jersey and it's got a loose thread and you tug on it i'm there and i'm gonna give you a rebels i'm gonna give you my shining light now are you ready for it okay um i like the fair and this is not dissimilar from yours that it just shows a bit of depth in what's happening with these characters but magda uh who is the housekeeper for step maranda i'm not in love with her i just think it's hilarious how blatantly she eyeballs the camera at science she looks directly down the barrel like she's like what's it's like she's never seen a camera lens before and she's checking it out

she's looking directly at you it's freaky but that's not my shining light because that already has been my shining light i think my shining light is the fact that i'd never um understood why she looked really uncomfortable when Steve says to Miranda that she should quit her job, stay home and help out around the house. She looks really weird. She gives this weird look and I never got it until now when I figured out that would mean Magda would probably be fired. And I love that.

She probably wasn't given any direction for that, but she was like, okay, my character is a housekeeper. So naturally, if Miranda's here, she's doing the cleaning up, there's nothing left for me to do. I'm out. and she gives a good, old-fashioned wince at her impending unemployment. Hey, that's a great shining light, Tim. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.C. Thanks, man. positive you're a positive dude well i'm a jobs creator guy well that is to say i like people creating jobs i'm a fan of jobs creators you don't create jobs yourself also i've got another i've got

a little bit of a conspiracy theory that you might be able to help me unpack quickly tim well you know i'm always keen on them so you know after garron is opening uh carrying uh carry's mail and samantha's mail for what for whatever reason uh and then carry has a big freak out at Charlotte for calling her on her shit which still shits me to this day that like Carrie's freaking out about this bad review and then she's like I can't write books as a married woman and Big ones two days off from the marriage

and then Charlotte's like I thought you both wanted that and then Carrie's like Charlotte now is not the time to call me on the shit I was trying to sell you on the plane anyway she goes barnstorming out of the fucking apartment or whatever and Geron is like fully he's up to something on the phone in the background of shot before he's like, where are you going? Yes.

And he quite sort of tries to subtly hang it up, but 27 times in Montgomery spotted it. I know exactly the bit you were talking about. I've seen him do that. He does the whole thing where you put your hand over the receiver bit and gently try and get the phone away from you. What's going on there? What is going on there, guy? Garron is one slippery fish.

He comes across as being this lovely guy, spins a yarn, his wife he lives in India that he barely gets to see purely for the purpose of tugging at the heartstrings of our hero, Carrie Bradshaw. Why is he trying to infiltrate her? I know why. He represents a rival publishing house that has many, I don't want to say chicklet, but I would say strong woman writers in their stable. Lots of little chicklets. Yeah. So they've got all of these baby chickens writing feminist literature. at this rival publishing house and they're always in contention

in that particular section of the New York bestseller list with Carrie Bradshaw who just keeps pumping out these insufferable volumes about nothing just bloody having sex we've all done it mate

guess what it's nothing new we've all done it it was when she started since the beginning of time we've all fucked revolutionary that you're writing it down in the book some would say

not me though I'm not in board I want more chicken delivered feminist writing and I won't apologize for that and that's why I think Garan is on the side of good and carry on the side of evil You're a harsh critic Tim but a fair critic

I think so too Well it's almost Scream a bit of ho Oh geez it's hot over here It's almost Squeeter Bobo Squelch Squelch goes the chair Tim sits on

Squillers. Squabity who. Squatibbara. Squibreble to bea. Scoot. I'm hemorrhoom. Scribita, ha, babe, ha, babe. I'm losing a lot of fluid. Squibbidi-bba. Scribby-boo. Scribby-bby-bush. Scroby-da-bba. What's he doing? Where's he going? Why is it so hot today? That's right. coffee guy. Three syllables, two words, one man, three seconds of film, a lifetime of enjoyment. What is he up to this week, Guy? Well, coffee guy has actually recently moved to New York from a little known city called Stanton, Connecticut.

Oh, oh, I think I see where this is going. It was a sort of a sleepy Connecticut suburb where he was the owner of probably the most successful department store, certainly the most successful Kmart franchise in the state and he's sort of been having a bit of there's been some hooligans, not even young hooligans agent hooligans who've started coming in spending

hour upon hour in his store mucking around with the hoses, mucking around with the exercise equipment mucking around with the knives and the pretzels and he's had it. I mean the entire local police department is in Lenny Fader's pocket so he He can't really do much to get rid of them. So he's sold up.

He's moved to New York City. All right? And he figured this is a city that is so populated with other people that surely I'll find either a niche of company to enjoy or, you know, peace and quiet maybe, piece and quiet probably through the company of people he likes. And to meet these people, he's a big, he's a coffee fan, he's a foodie, if you will.

He sort of goes to these. these local restaurant and cafe haunts but everywhere he dines everywhere he goes for a cup of coffee he runs into sort of a similar problem he faced in Standing Connecticut at his Kmart

which is these fucking harpies seem to be just with an airshot every single goddamn time so hold on sorry has he so he's okay so he's in standing Connecticut managing the Kmart

um being run rough shot couldn't get any help from the local authorities the boys in blue paid him no credence and so he moved to new york is he sorry did you say he's a cop now no he's not a cop he's just he's just in new york trying to try to find himself and some trying to make his way and this is this the first so like whenever he's in new york he keeps running into these women is that what's happening well yeah just wherever he's at essentially and so he's sitting there and he's come up during that as he next the coffee he's come up with a brilliant

what he thinks is a brilliant business idea I mean he's pretty detached from reality at this point yeah so he's left the cafe with this great idea that he's going to have his ears surgically filled up with like semi-permanent

air buds wow so it's and who should he approach for the business idea but he's he's read and adding the local page calling for business ideas from someone called Mr. Big. Wow. He's got a bit of excess money on account of the success of Mr. Big's jiscusis.

Well, as we all know, that made one man very wealthy. That's right. And so Mr. Big keeps getting sent all of these sort of unverified semen samples. Not something he'd hoped for, obviously, but surely there's a business opportunity in there. and him and coffee guy wound up teaming up and refining it with flour and water to make a very viscous sort of paste which is essentially the first prototype for this new exciting semi-permanent airbud Jesus so once they're in your ears is they're not getting them off

is that they're there to stay not for a week it's similar to strikes me as a similar thing to like a cochlear implant but the opposite where it decreases you're hearing. Yeah. Well, quite a concept, guy. Quite an adventure that coffee guy's on. I wish them all the best. I cannot imagine this business ending well.

Personally or professionally. Hard to see how it wouldn't create long-term medical problems for the wearer, but I wish them all the best. Hey, that might have to do it for us right now. but we'll be back and I think we're probably we're a little bit laid off the mark on this one so we might have to

catch a plane back to NYC sooner than either of us, whatever do you like? Yeah, well we'll sort that out. While we're here, I might just selfishly take the opportunity in my ongoing quest to perform

comedy to every person in the world I am currently in Sydney with quite a boatload of tickets if you will A lot of ticket runoff, an overflow, if you will, available to see me do a show called Guymore and Comedy at the Sydney Comedy Fringe. So if you want the details, you can look it up.

I've got a tweet pinned on the top of my tweets where you can click on the link and buy a ticket. If you are so interested, please tell anyone who might like to hear me talk for an hour. There's pretty much no semen-based content. That is at Guy underscore Mont. if you want to get on that handle and do yourself a favour follow that man follow that man i'd follow you i'd follow you i'd follow you over a clip how much is you show what are you charging people

for this one it's 15 australian dollars but i will be distributing hugs afterwards to anyone who comes and i'm pretty sure that that's not an insurmountable task on account of ticket sales as it stands. Ah, festivals. Don't we love them? Very cool, man. I love that. Well, once again, to blast our own trumpet,

Google the LA Podfest, please buy a streaming ticket and use the code worst. Save yourself five bucks. It helps our show as well. And we're going to be in LA, which means you'll have, because we're going to do a gig there as well at Reese Starby's gig. Our mate Reese at Largo on, I think, the 22nd of September.

21st. So you will have performed. No, 21st. Is it Tuesday night, is it? No, it's Tuesday, 22nd, sorry, you're right. 20 second. You'll have performed comedy in three continents in like the last few weeks, which is pretty crazy. It is crazy.

It's certainly not as profitable as the, you know, as one might think. Yeah, it also means that we, this is, Antarctica is probably too hard to get to. It'd be nice to try and watch Sex and the City 2 in each continent. I would have to get my ass to Europe at some point though And you would have to come to Asia And we'd both have to get to Africa Oh, that would be excellent though We'll just take that plane ride that doesn't exist

That Carrie went on You know that famous route That takes you from New York City to Abi Dhabi Over Africa We'll just take that one Joy of joys Hey Tim I tell you what Well I didn't enjoy watching the movie this week

It has been fun speaking with you yeah you too bud uh for everyone else out there we never talk except through these so it's good to catch up um i'm gonna go eat a breakfast buffet and have a quick dip in the pool oh fuck you all right i've earned this motherfucker after last week i've certainly earned this see you later bye it's the worst idea of all time it's the worst idea of all time it's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

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