The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E30 - Paul F (Part One)

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESPaul F. Tompkins joins Guy and Tim for a watch of Sex and The City 2. The comedy and podcasting great has seen both movies and every episode of the TV show so watch out for some in depth knowledge about everyone's favourite franchise! The trio cover ground including the Cookie Monster, the oppressive use of fashion and Canterbury prop great Col Barrell (four caps for the ABs but no international matches). ENJOY! Part two to come soon...Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the worst idea of all time pre-roll section. That's right. We did it, bitches. We figured out how to stitch two different audio files. seamlessly into one. It's only been 19 months

since we kicked this podcast off and we've figured out audio editing. You said it couldn't be done. You said they'll never figure it out. They're Kiwis. They're stupid. They're backwards. Their brains. They've misformed and malnourished. We'll check it out, bitches. We have the most nourished brains

in the car right now. It's just the two of us. We're in a car. We're on the corner of Santa Monica and Western Avenue in Los Angeles, California. And I believe I'm pronouncing that right. We've turned the air conditioning down to zero it's a it's road we're roasting in here this is positively melting into our seats that's right if you were to leave any form of human being in this car unattended for i don't know longer than 10 minutes they would be a puddle but we're not here to talk to you about the

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It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season two Ladies and gentlemen, welcome To the worst idea of all time Episode number 30, but watch number 31 Because of certain complicated contractual reasons

We can't release the episode we recorded yesterday for two weeks, which we did at L.A. Podfest. hashtag Dekwell Uniqua. Dequel. Yeah. Dequel. Changed your up. Like the former Cleveland Browns middle linebacker DeQuel Jackson. The man you can hear there is Guy Montgomery.

That's right. The man who you heard talking before is Tim Bat, and we have a very special guest this week. Please, welcome to the microphone. Paul F. Tompkins. Hello. It's me, Paul F. Tompkins. It is.

From America. And in America The credits are limitless And I won't bore everyone Was going through them We did get the highlights there though You'll probably know I'm most recently From BoJack Horseman

And his own podcast Or podcasts Of which there are several Spontagnanation being It's been whittled down To just the one now Anything else you want to play Right at the top

Before we get into this pool Just my love of cinema Yeah I love it Who doesn't Graciously accepted us Into your home To do this viewing

It's my pleasure I'm not even wearing shoes right now. You bought us dinner. What a guy. And then how do we reward you? We unleashed sex in the city too for not the first time for you, but certainly not the first time for us. Now, I knew what I was in for. And I'm a listener of the podcast and I'm all caught up.

And I had seen this movie close to the time when it first came out. It turns out I have seen all of Sex in the City, the series, and all of the movies. and I don't quite know how that happened but my wife is a huge fan and so a lot of times she would be watching the show and reruns and I would realize oh I've seen this one and then I realized I think it was that when that show was on

I'd never had cable before and so it was my first time having premium cable and I just watched every show that was on HBO even shows I did not like I watched them because it was HBO and I was paying for it and it was like the quality is better even if it's a show I don't enjoy

the quality of it is better. There could have been stuff that you missed, which is very much the mantra of this show as well. You know, you got to watch it a fair few times, get all those details in there and your brain. Did you guys discover new things? Always.

Yeah, constantly, with every watch, with every watch. Look, I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. You're not on trial here. Which sounds like, Paul. Paul, I'm just came to get your thoughts because we have literally just finished the movie now. What did you think of it? This movie is not so good.

Now, having seen all of this series and all of the movies, a curious thing happened where in the first movie that they did, they sold out all of their characters. They, like, everything that was decent about them, they completely, like Samantha had a boyfriend who nursed her through cancer. And then in the movie, she's like, I got to break up with this dude. And that's our friend Smith, the movie star.

Are you serious? Yes, yes, yes. And she, so, yeah, the Kansas storyline was in the TV show. That was in the TV show. And then in the movie, she's like, I don't, hey, you can't tie Samantha Jones now. I got to break up with you, dude. And he's like, I understand that. And then she fucks them.

Like, she can't, she can't take it. She keeps, like, and my, forgive me, my recollections are hazy. And I'm sure someone remembers the movie better than I do. But she's, at some point, she's staying in some beach house or something. and there's a dude that is staying in the house next to her who is a super hot, you know, European, generic European guy who is showering naked on like the outdoor beach shower

and she can't take it anymore. And so she breaks up with her boyfriend, her new nurse to go to kiss her, yeah. That's horrible, right? Any kind of character arc where she's finally learned how to love and develop like a constant one-to-one human relationship, they just strip it away for the movie. Yeah.

to sell them tickets it's really weird it's really really weird and the idea that that carry would end up with big is kind of that was kind of against the like it's one of those things where he was an oning and off again guy and he was mysterious and charming and whatever but the idea that you would end up with him like they're meant to be together just always seemed to me like even as a guy who is not emotionally invested in the show well you say no that's the wrong call maybe i have maybe i am a lot of people have said that is not the first time I've heard that it's like at the very least she should have ended up

with Aiden because Aiden's kind of indisputably a good dude he's a bit of a goofball but that's what makes him human he's got some foibles yeah he's a good guy I forget what maybe it was Rose that you had on the show who was familiar with the series and said that she'd had like a number of boyfriends

who were like decent people she've ruined it every time and it's like she's kind of the villain of the show Carrie Bradshaw she's the anti-hero and that's the secret to it Tony Soprano of Sex of the City But when you have like those floors You can get on board with it as well

As long as they're trying I don't Well if the idea To do this in this movie Yeah if the ideas that you learn You grow and and And that doesn't seem to happen In this movie

What what really struck me was that And I don't think I picked up on another time Like she is just acting like an idiot She's just an idiot Through this whole movie She's like a weird Child And it's like

At first And these women are, like, grown women. They're older now than they were in the series when they were adult women that were having these, you know, life experiences and everything. And it's like her behavior is unacceptable. And no one is telling her that. No one is saying, like, what are you doing? You're not in high school? Why are you acting this way?

They just sort of put themselves in this bubble. They've painted themselves into a corner where four of them just hang out with each other. Yeah, yeah. No, there are no consequences for our actions. Yeah, we are, we do everything together. and we make all decisions together. Somebody has a crisis. Everyone has to be there at the same time.

We are 45 years old and willing to put every aspect of our lives on hold because one of our gals has a tiny rich person problem. And I can't speak to how they got along in the series, but it's very evident in this movie that they don't even like, like, as the characters, don't even like hanging out with each other anymore. And yet they insist on doing everything together, but they seem to regard each other like, you again? Why do I have to be here with you? It seems to me like the characters are at the point and it's painfully apparent on screen that they're wretched but no one else can stand them so they just gravitate to the people who will stand them,

which is each other. Like they're so shit, they're on another level. I feel like I'm heaping a lot of hate on and this is something that I was afraid of for coming in is that I don't want the fact that guy and I've seen the movie 30 times before to color your opinion of the film. Some people love this movie.

Sure. They're not in the majority. I think, but, you know. And I'll say this. I think it's possible to love a movie that you recognize is not a great movie. Yeah. Probably everybody has one of those where it's like if you have a movie I love the if you challenged me on it, I could say, no, you're absolutely right.

Yeah. It's garbage. But I still enjoy watching it very much. Have you got one off the top of your head? Not off the top of my head, but I know for a fact. I will tell you this. Like when I was a kid, I loved Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, right? it's really not that good a movie

but I would and I recognize that watching it later in life like this is not that good actually there's a lot of problems with it but it's still very enjoyable for me to watch it's like ice cream it can be enjoyable without being good

do you know what our friend the cookie monster said what's that now he this guy he loves cookies right he's he's a bit of a monster about them but even he had to admit eventually cookies are sometimes food and every time food and that's from a monster about cookies

who's still managed against all odds to curb his cookie-eating habits exactly he's like all right I got to lock this down at some point do you have a movie that you recognize as being awful but you love

no no I like any just I blindly like any movie Hugh Grandes in just on goodwill he's a very watchable dude Yeah. Not very watchable.

I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure a lot of those movies aren't that good, but, like, Hugh and he seems okay. Do you know what's kind of a mean movie that I didn't realize at the time is Love Actually? There's like a lot of weird fat jokes for no reason. Sure. But Love Actually is very hard to not like as well. It's very watchable, but man, oh man, that movie has some problems.

Really? I haven't revisited it for years. Well, the whole big romantic thing with Andrew. Lincoln, the Walking Dead dude, when he makes the sign to show to his friend, this woman that he's in love with. And she's just charmed by this. It's terrifying. It's so creepy.

It's extremely inappropriate. And like what he writes is like, to me, you are perfect. I would never want anyone to say that to me. Like, I know I'm not perfect. You have a skewed idea of who I am as a human being. And this is this big recovery after she finds out. He's been filming her exclusively who's hired as the wedding videographer. Yeah.

That's insane. Even the cookie monster. Eat cookies sometimes. Those aren't the moves of like a with it dude who you want to spend your life with. Yeah. I wouldn't go so far as to say psychopathic, but unbalanced. I would go as far as to say psychopathic. You're single-minded.

I'd be terrified of that guy. Do you have one? Van Wilder. Oh, yeah, you love Van Wilder. Van Wilder Party liaison. And I can't explain it. I think it just came... Right top of mind.

Man Wilder. There's something about Ryan Reynolds, which is... He's a regular Hugh Grant. It's spite of everything that's thrown at him in that movie, which is not a superb cast, far from a good script, not really good to anything. He still finds a way to shine with that Canadian charisma. Can't wait for Deadpool.

Tim made his senior English class study that as like an academic text. Oh, yeah, in my MediaWorks. class. How did you arrange that? How did you make people do that? The teacher took a shine to me and he said, Tim, whatever movie you pick, we're going to study for the final exams. And I went, Van Wilde, Derek. And he said, okay, I've never seen it, but sounds good. And then we watched it. And then the school got a letter from the government department that grades everyone saying, hey, I've got a lot of essays about dog, semen-filled cream rolls this year. Maybe don't do that again. So, you know, that's want to happen when you put a student in charge of a media studies class. Yeah, that was a bold call on the part of that I think we can savely say that this movie doesn't sit in the same canon as any of those films that this is like, this is just, it's an affront from top to bottom, side to side. And, you know, having listened to the podcast, I could tell you guys, obviously you guys

were struggling with this in a way that you weren't with grown-ups to. And then I really felt it tonight. Like, I get it. I get it. Oh, this is very sweet. This is, well, if it makes you feel better at all. It's a understanding. It's less alone.

But it's, um, the, the running time of this movie is in no way justified. In no way. Like, there is an hour to be cut out of this movie. Easily. And they just keep doing the same. They keep resetting the same ideas again and again and again. It's like, we, we get it. You don't have to do it again.

Like, I get what she's upset about. I get what she's upset about. I get it all. Every level, there could be some pretty harsh cutting to the film. Because one bit that really stuck out to me this time is fairly early on where they're going to the premiere of Smith Garrett's movie and carries it home trying to convince Big to go even though he's had a big day at work because the market fell 100 points or whatever. And they show the sequence of her pouring the scotch for him. And you see everything in real time. Every single step.

Walk to the bar. Open the bottle. Pour the bottle into a glass. Put the lid, literally back on the decoche. back on the decanter and walk back with the glass like we don't need every go to film class motherfucker like we don't need to see every single bit of it yeah get it i tell you what you have control over this fake apartment that you've built move that drinks cart closer to where he is put it where he sits yeah put it right there

i wouldn't question it oh why wouldn't he want it there if that's where he says michael patrick king sort of the the execs told him we need two hours and thirty minutes a movie i don't get how much what you've got that's how long is going to be what other His explanation could there be? He runs along and dumps the problem on the setters. He's like, all the rooms, only everything is far away from everything else as possible. I want an extra 10 seconds in every goddamn scene of this movie.

Tell you what, though, Paul, there were some genuine, a couple of little chuckles from you, and I don't think for the right reasons, but scared along the film. Perhaps not. This film kicked the shit on me so bad. I'm trying to remember where the really early ones were at the front of the film. There was some weird, there was some weird,

visual takes that people had. There were some weird reactions that people had to lines that caught me off guard. That whole wedding at the beginning seems like a million years ago. It's like a world away. It really does, this movie really does

feel like you watched a double feature. Like you watched two completely separate movies. Yeah. That whole wedding sequence, even they have a hard time justifying things like, oh, these two guys are getting married. Oh, I thought they hated each other. Yeah, they did. Yeah. They totally did. And now we will disregard it and not return

to them at all. That's right. Off screen, between movies, they have completely fallen in love and they're getting married now. You think it's possible much like the Wachowski's approach to making the second two Matrix movies, this was intended to be sex in the city, two, and three. And then they just decided to release it at the

same time. Throwing it out there. I don't know. I haven't heard anything. But the Matrix movies, there were three of them, where they're supposed to be four of them? There was supposed to be two, as my understanding. Oh, I see.

So the studio said to the Wachowski's, it's a trilogy, and they said, nope, it's two movies. And they said, nope, it's a trilogy. And the Wachowski said, okay, watch this. And it was the worst sequels anyone's ever seen

to such a great initial film. Are you saying the Wachowski's made those movies terrible on purpose? Not necessarily. Every subsequent movie. They're still mad at that one studio? It was great.

How do you? But I feel like they kind of overreached a little bit. So this could have been a kill-bill situation Where it should have been split into two movies Yes What we're talking about it now Is warranting the film existing in the first place I get

I get the It's a property that people enjoy And I get that the first movie was very successful And I get that you want to visit with your pals again And all that But it would surprise me It surprised me anytime I hear People who were fans of the show

that enjoyed this movie Because the first one I get the excitement of It's the reunion Here's our pals again and everything Despite the way they treat the characters There's an extended There's an extended shit joke in the first one Where Charlotte

Is addicted to this yogurt She keeps eating this yogurt And then it gives her this horrible explosive diarrhea Like she ships her pants in front of her friends And they all laugh at her Oh really? Yes Charlotte York shits her pants in the first

Yes, she does. And there's like a big gag of the first film. It's a big, hilarious set piece of the film. I thought that was a bit much in Bridesmaids. Like, I love that movie. Right. But when she takes the dump in the middle of the street in the bridal dress, I was like, categorically, and arguably, that is hilarious.

A bit much for me. And frankly, the scene is in the city, the movie? Charlotte doing it in the first movie sounds funny to me also. But it's like they hate the character. It's weird. It's weird. Like, do we like her or not? Are we glad this is happening to her?

It's really strange because the other characters are treating it like, ha ha, you had this coming to you. Like, she just hates a fucking poker. But look, we're not here to talk about sex in the city. One. That's true. Well, let me relate it back. So the first movie seems like it was a lovely rap on the property.

It's like one more time, everyone. Yeah. We're going to wrap this thing up, put a bow on it. Because also my understanding of the ending of it is it's sort of like, and they lived happy. that's the and they lived happily ever after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you never write,

and now we're going to tell you how. That's why this second one, it seems so cynical, because you just see the money everyone's making at every point along the way, which surprised me why it's so long. Because you would think, you'd just be like, cool, 90 minutes,

let's bang it out, people, let's get it done. It really is, it really does feel like, I think it's always the trouble you face with a known, property and the trying to split the difference between doing it for the fans who know these people intimately and like well there's people that are going to be visiting this world for the first time or whatever and I feel like my feeling is you always should err on the side of let's remember there's going to be people that have no idea who these people are I don't

know with a second movie I guess you earn the right to just make it directly for the fans but knowing you have a built-in audience, but still, still, it was just like, do something with it as well. You can't just release a plane trip. Yeah. It's two and a half hours long. And the, and the writing in this, it's so crazily, I don't know that it's lazy. It seems poorly conceived more than anything.

I mean, you know the story of how it got written, though, right? Well, Michael Patrick King was thrown into a hole with, yeah, yeah, with, was it. Brandy and cigars. Old manner of whiskey and cigars. Yeah, you got it. So, a man under duress is liable. And accordingly, some of it's forgivable. And every once in a while, they just yell down the whole, more puns.

Yeah, yeah. Of which he wasn't great when he started, and they steadily decrease in quality as the film proceeds. Man, the puns in this movie, holy shit. Like, there's some, it's beyond just groaners, like, oh, whatever. You went a fan of interfrenching? That's the worst. That's the absolute worst. The midwife crisis.

The midwife crisis doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Because if there were a midwife character in the movie, I would grant you midwife crisis. Oh, whoa, you mean like midwifery? Yeah. They never get to me. That's the only way it would make sense because, okay, midlife crisis. I know what that is.

She's a wife and she's having a hard time. okay i get that those two things still that doesn't translate to a joke it doesn't make sense how right you are it is really it's the bare minimum of wordplay like these things kind of sound like each other throw it in there we're getting pretty down on the dumps here i want to ask you my sweet print my angel yeah and i tell you what you've given me a kiss this episode and i'm jones and give you a little kiss yeah oh i got to see it a person one across the room a kiss is always a gift. My shining light?

Yeah, I'd love to hear that. Shining light time. There was a... I made some notes. One of the extras in the karaoke bar, he looks a lot like former Canterbury rugby great Con Barrel who was a prop.

And I saw it, I saw it once and I thought, Who looks like this? Sorry. Which extra? Which is sitting? When the girls are walking up to sing, I am woman, hear me raw. There's a table of three guys. And they walk past them and I was thinking of this one guy. That looks kind of like Con Barrel. He's not like he's not a particularly well-known former rugby player.

Did he play at the national level? He might have got a few caps for the All-Blakes, but he was a stalwart of the Canterbury type five. And I thought, that looks a bit like Con Barrel. Maybe that'll be my showing. And then I thought, no, that's not enough. But then he's in frame when they walk away from the stage. I'm like, that really does look a lot like Con Barrel.

Did that lead credibility to the fact that maybe it was and that's why they needed to keep him on screen a lot longer? Well, I'd imagine he's probably at the hotel on some sort of coaching capacity for the Rugby World Cup Trail. Of course. Sure. That makes sense. Not a smart guy.

He's been ironically conned. I don't know. I don't know how he's mixed up in the whole thing. But, yeah, anyway, to see Con Barrel doing so well from South Post Rugby was a joy. That's one of the best shining lights I've heard from you in quite a while. It was a bleak watch, but that really good. That really did. Are you going to research it?

Are you going to find out if it was? It's absolutely not Con Barrel. But when it was enough, the thought that he would be doing so well. I want some correct. rare averages from that man die on the next episode. That'd be good. Paul, enlighten me with your shiningness. There were a few contenders.

Oh. I did like that at the wedding in the beginning when they had the microphones to do the vows, there was no feedback on the microphones because a pet peeve of mine is it seems impossible to see a microphone in a movie without there being even a second of feedback. It's like the sound guys are like, how are they going to know that they're talking through a microphone. I better put some feedback in there. Right.

So I was like, I don't know if I can just hit boards for one second. Yeah. Your first shining light, the first thing that was your favorite bit of the movie is something that was not in the movie. Yes, exactly.

The absence of something. Shades of you enjoying when there were no airplanes and growing up to do it. The little baby, Charlotte's youngest baby. Rosa. Rosa. She reminded me of, I thought she looked.

She kind of looked like Chris. And so that was, that was, that was, that was, that was a pleasant association for me. But I think, uh, con barrel there. I think, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. She's like a little miniature baby. Kristen Shaw.

But I think my absolute shining light was when they were on the plane and, um, somebody says something kind of risque. There's some little dirty joke when they're at the bar on the arm. This is, I've had four people in my bid. Yes. And the bartender does a physical take with a glass. like bangs a glass because she's kind of flustered but totally deadpan and it was very very well done

I was like good for you little lady that was a great take that's gotten laughs out of out of me and imagine Tim she does it perfect multiple times before she does it perfectly guys I tell you what week to week that lady's turning in one of the strongest performances in the film

but also what you've brought up in the past is the attention to sound design in that moment because there is a very beautiful crisp little chink of the glass is in a little almost like a I'll tell you what it's like. It's like when you're playing hearts on the computer, on your old Microsoft, and the first heart is played, and there's that breaking of glass sort of sound.

Indicating that the game is afoot. Someone's going to be shooting the moon. The card spans out there. You can take that one all the way to the bank. Tim, may I ask? I know I'm the guest here. And forgive me if this is rude. Not at all.

What is your shining light? this time. I love a man who takes charge, and Paul F. Tompkins, you are no exception. My shining light this week is, I was just trying to reference which I'm looking at my notes at the moment to make sure I've got the scene right. Oh, that's right. Okay, so it's when they're in, it doesn't matter anyway. It's when they're in Abu Dhabi and Samantha has just got off the phone with Bay Dune,

who is the head guy in charge of the, he's like the clerk. He's great, by the way. He's very good. That guy's really good. There's weird moments where there's some people that are actually. Acting in this movie in these small roles are like, that's great. That person seems like a real person. Very small.

Yeah. Like he's, yeah, what's the word I'm looking for? Natural. Like, the chic at the beginning who convinces her to come over to, like, that guy is great. He's good. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, no, he's made some good choices. Compared to what everybody else is doing.

Yeah, but compared to Baydun. Oh, Baydun. Baydun's in a league of his own. Of course he is. Like, get that man to the globe. He's the Baydune standard. He is. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. So Baydun is phoning down the room charge Because they've just been cancelled All of their free accommodation And in that scene Samantha is wearing a belt buckle Which looks to me A lot like it has been wrapped in Jerusalem

Which is something you put over the top of your books And I don't know what the brand name is in America But in New Zealand it's juror seal That you put to protect your exercise books When you go to primary school Which is We would do A lot of times we would do

they would sell book covers that you just fold and put on there and they would have like all the presidents on them or something like that. Or we would just cut up a brown paper bag. What's the rap though that you put over like the plastic adhesive? I know what you mean but I think that came along look I'm a good deal older than you guys

and maybe that was an innovation after my time. You come from the brown paper bag over a book that's right. That did make it sound like I was alive during the Depression. Why don't just put the book in the bag and carry them around like that? It's what the bag is for. What we used to do is 22 miles in the snow uphill, barefoot, both ways.

And we'd spit on our books to protect them. Mr. and Mrs. Tompkins are coming in. You're covering all your books and pictures. That's right, Paul. You're doing great. I remember for lunch we used to put a rock in a pot of boiling water. Soapen it up. The belt buckle has shades of that specifically reflective juror-sealed material.

And it took me back to my childhood for a brief moment. I wasn't watching the movie anymore, and I relish the escapism. All of our shining lights involved us not being involved with the movie. Funny that. Now, Paul, every time that we get a special guest on, we like to do a little segment where you pitch the movie to Guy myself, who are movie financiers. We are very wealthy movie makers.

Absolutely. But we're also tasteful. Certainly. We're not just to throw our money. money around willy-nilly certainly so um you'll you'll uh you'll uh you'll appreciate that our time is precious no of course welcome thank you very much for seeing me and uh i'm not going to take up a lot of your time gentlemen appreciate that uh and i don't think i need to because i think what i have is a surefire money making box office smash i'm all the is are you familiar with the tv

show sex in the city yes my girlfriend made me watch it a lot right that's That's what girlfriends do. They love it. You're telling us. Now, are you familiar with the movie, Sex and the City? Now, that I know is out there I have not seen. It's based on the television show, and it's very similar to it in a lot of ways. What if I told you?

Their stories are not finished. I would call you a filthy fucking liar, and I would order you out of my office immediately. And you'd be right to do so. Except I have the proof right here. Remember those two gay guys on the show? Oh, sure. Anthony and the other one. Stanford.

Yeah, and Stanford. Remember how they hated each other? Well, yeah. They really didn't care for each other of those guys. I cannot imagine anything, and I remember to bury the hatchet. I mean, those guys were at each other's necks. Yeah, they couldn't stand each other. Yeah.

we open on their wedding what yeah we're turning the sex in the city world on its ear everything is different now now uh i appreciate your excitement your eyes are as wide as sauces yeah they're as wide as saucers are yeah the the thing is we've got a lot of fans of the show and the and the movie and it doesn't for us i think make a lot of sense

to just tear the entire, you know, to tear up all the goodwill we've built. So you're shaking your head. Can I say this? And I say this with all due respect. Audiences, they're dumb. You got to stay a couple steps ahead of them and tell them what it is they want to see. When people were watching sex in the city, they weren't thinking, oh, I want to see them go to the desert and preach about oppressive regimes.

Well, guess what? Yeah, I definitely know the audience when asked. they were not asking for that they don't know it's like for for christmas you get a present uh maybe you're asking for one thing i want the same thing i like uh year after year i want like yeah i want spaghetti for christmas then one year you get pajamas you weren't expecting that it's not christmas but it's what you need and what we need is to see these women go over try to impose their views and morals on a foreign culture.

All right, I'm going to need it. So far, I've got bizarro sex in the city one. Give me more. They're in the desert. They're wearing pajamas, presumably, for a lot of the film. There's spaghetti involved. I feel as if, I probably shouldn't have mentioned pajamas in the Christmas analogy, because I feel as if you're maybe taking it literally.

I did not mean to suggest that. You really got me here on this pajama hook. Okay, I will say this. There are scenes while they're wearing pajamas, for sure. Okay. That will happen. a very heavy compromise. Now, spaghetti?

Where are we? How do you feel about Asian noodles? Very similar to spaghetti in the same neighborhood, but unexpected. Well, good. Good news. I can guarantee Sobu noodles will be a sponsor that is ridiculed in the film. So we have it both ways. First, we have a beauty shot where we get a close-up of the bag,

but then also our main character says, I don't want to eat that let's go out and eat You know I really like that In the industry we call that Having our noodles and eating them too There we go You guys understand me I think we're on the same way

I think yeah I mean What are you for seeing as a I mean a duration And I know it's a little earlier to start Spitballing about these sorts of things But how long do you anticipate a movie like this taking Maybe 90 minutes is the average For something like this Now an average episode of the TV show sex in the city

Was 22 minutes the running time of the first film probably in the neighborhood of 90 minutes do you see how it keeps getting longer each time yeah once I mean a movie and a television show two completely different and yeah I mean

and one movie and another movie are also completely different things so and this is another movie it's not the first movie so it stands to reason this one should be longer than the first one

like 95 minutes 96 minutes For starters It's an entree Why don't you throw another 60 minutes on top of that Oh Excuse me I'm gonna

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave on that That is outrageous I mean what could possibly justify You've come in here That kind of a length No plot You've said we're changing No plot, sir

I've heard a bit of plot I've heard a little bit you have to excuse my comrade Did you forget about the pajamas? no one's forgetting about the pajamas I mean well I would like to see them in their pajamas and you will you know they're going to be doing so what do we have here is woman in pajamas eating noodles

and with new personalities here's what they're doing they're being fabulous about gay weddings in the beginning like you know how Carrie married Mr. Big and then he starts the movie by saying the phrase gay wedding over and over and over over again to the point where you think he's a despicable bigot and why is our hero married to him

this seems uncomfortable and i don't like it ah it's all worth it for the smallest of jokes that is to follow almost immediately after at like once you're at the point where you're you're disliking big for um constantly pointing out that they're gay gay gay then we have a joke where carry agrees yes they are indeed gay this is all pretty gay well it sounds like we're going to be trotting a fine line here and uh i like it live on the edge look i wasn't sold on the two and a half hour runtime earlier but you've you've really got got this across the line okay i've got one of you on board now i feel like you're still on the fence i am charlotte remember charlotte oh yeah she she she wanted to do was be a wife and a mother in this movie

she hates both those things she is easily swayed by one of her good friends into thinking that her husband, when we barely see, don't worry about it. He's going to cheat on her at any moment with their gorgeous non-braw-wearing nanny. We've got a lot of elements. We've got a lot of moving parts now. I'm interested. Exactly. Exactly.

Hey, how about Miranda? Right? Great character. She had a great arc on the show and a lot to do in the first movie. In this movie, she's basically good to just rest. I think she read. in a travel book You know we're both huge

Pokemon fans So this sits very well Did you say your Pokemon fans? Well, I'm getting shades of Professor Oak If I'm being honest Oh, can I tell you something? I'm basing her entire Character plot line

How many millions do you want Because at this point You've got me over a barrel And let me just sign the check with my books My only concern is that two and a half hours Isn't long enough to explore all of these exciting avenues of entertainment you are laying down. Here's what I can

promise you and I give you my word as a filmmaker because I take very seriously this business and the money that you're entrusting to me to make what I would say passes for art. This movie will be

two and a half hours long but it will feel ten times long done. Shake my hand young man. We've got ourselves a deal. This is a This is a proud day. This is a proud day. We're going to write out a blank check here.

You just put in there, whatever you feel is appropriate to get this across the line. It's all yours. And thus concludes the pet. Yeah. Very well sold. I hope that's how it went as well. Oh, my God. Well, I wonder what the vetting process was for this film, if any, you know?

In terms of people involved or the writer? Yeah, because, you know, to make a movie, to make any kind of thing, where money is at stake in show business it goes through so many people so many people have to sign off on this that and the other thing that how many people what was the original script like if this you know what I mean

we're gonna punch that up a little oh my god like how massive must that screenplay have been the first script that Michael Patrick King submitted was just drawings crayon they take up a lot of page yeah I feel like with something that has the strength of sex and the

and the weight of Sarah Jessica Parker as the executive producer on that script no one's reading that until it comes to shooting and then you can tell that's why everyone's kind of a little reserved with their acting except for Baduio and everyone's like

whoa Jesus I didn't read this this is in trouble here well not everyone is reserved with their acting there are scenes in this movie where Sarah Jessica Parker it is like you know those you know those toys where you push the base in

and then the thing flops around and then you release in a spring like she the shit that she's doing with her body it's insane like hey calm down just say the words but she's got money she's got skin in the game

of course she's got point that's what it feels like it feels like I got to really sell this shit out of this carrying this oh my god excuse the pun her and uh and Kim Cottrell are like going insane there's the the scene where Kim Cottrell is is being held

um after she kisses Dick Spurt on the beach and then she's sitting there and she's getting so upset she becomes like a silent movie actress where it's so crazily over the top and her gesture's like she's might as well be holding the back of her hand

to her forehead and clutching a handkerchief except that's all just in subtitles well on the bottom. May I say as an American your first American guest on this season? I believe possibly ever. Yeah.

When Ricard Spurke says to Samantha after she finds out his name is Richard and she instantly says so your name is Dick Spurt and he says could you be any more American

I take that personally I'm personally insulted because it's like hey that's not every American would have said that you know what I mean if this guy had said my name is Ricard Spurt I wouldn't have said oh Dick Spurt

okay so let me counter that just briefly sure they've spent almost an entire film lampooning and belittling the middle east yes i think you've got to chuck a few other cultures under the grinder just to kind of even the score a little bit i guess that makes some sense it's kind of if you offend everyone it kind of takes the heat off of it a little bit takes the sting equal opportunity offender i get you see the vibe of mine i my this brings me to my favorite this is the one scene that i remembered from the movie the first time i saw it when the gals are escaping the conservative Arab men who are going to have them their heads chopped off or whatever for waving condoms around

and they're saved by the women in the burqas who then reveal that they're wearing like the fall fashion line under their burqas which that's there's been so much talk about how hot it is there that they're wearing Essentially two sets of clothes Yeah

But they They take this shit off They take the burkas off And they realize And they reveal they have these Ridiculous outfits on underneath And it's there's no sense of irony About a different kind of cultural enslavement

Yes No one How in this movie is there no There's like completely tone deaf of like How is this better? That's not better And this It's ridiculous

This is a movie that came out in 2010. So, like, this is post-Iraq in Afghanistan and Haitian. Stuff's happening in the world. When this movie is released, it's not released into a vacuum. Things have not gone well. There is contact and things, as you rightly say, have not gone well. Yes. And just the fuck you of what it has occurred in the film.

The metaphor of, oh, thank God, you're not really Muslim. It turns out you are the consumer's pig-dog Americans that we are as well underneath it all. Consumers, but also. So you're just as much of a victim of a different kind of exploitation of women and this thing. And it's like, look, I like clothes and clothes are fun and fashion is ridiculous and everything like that. But there is, it struck me as very weird that it's like, I'm going to put myself in uncomfortable clothes. Yeah, for no gain as well because they didn't anticipate running into these women and getting their kid off halfway three days. So they're just walking around like that.

Exactly. They're walking around like that wearing two sets of clothes. Sweeting their asses. Yeah, exactly. They keep it together very well, though. They really did. They look cool as a bunch of cucumbers. Great stuff there from us and Paul Liftings as well.

I thought we were doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Yeah, that's a good. Paul, if you can hear this, why don't you do some push-ups or something? It's work on those arms, those tries, those buys, all of the muscles. By the way, we're back in the car now, and we're just headed one. you that that was the first of the two-parter, the PFT, and in all seriousness, good God, what a gentleman, what a guy. What an absolute delight to be hanging out with.

Shout out to BigPipe again. Remember the offer, bigpipe.co.nz, when you sign up, you can get a month free with the code. Worst idea. No contract, no throttling of your speed, $79 a month. Or your neck. Can't emphasize that enough. Yeah. Broadband not available everywhere.

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We'll be back. The second part of this episode will be up very soon, and you're going to love it. So catch you soon, ding-dongs. There's a lot of D-words in there. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time.

See, Zichin.