The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E31 - Paul F (Part Two)

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESPaul F Tompkins joins the lads for the second part of this special two part episode. Bigpipe.co.nz also joins the fray in the form of a great sponsor. In this edition: PFT takes the lads through a cultural maze including a Streetcar Named Desire and a horror film called Thinner. The Dickbot v Brady rumble gains exciting new perspectives and there's one hell of a three-way scat off as the trio delve into what that crazy coffee consumer is up to this week.Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time. Episode number 31. Point five. 30.5 if we're going to do that. It's 31. Point five Let's not get bogged down in the numbers

Alright It's never been a numbers game What it's always been about for me Is free love I was born in the 40s All right I grew up I sort of had my sexual realisation

In the swing in 60s I'm talking about San Francisco Talking about hallucinogens Yeah Talking about chronic jet lag Yeah we're coming to you from Melbourne Australia And Guy has flipped his lid

It's gone crazy He's eating hungry jacks, which is very irregular for him. Two helpings, I might add. Yeah, what I did is I got an egg McMuffin and a hash brown. I put the hash brown and the muffin. I just want to burrow down into our podcasting hole, away from all of the natural light and other human beings. You had one of those, and you thought it was so good.

He had a second one, and you just, you went a little overboard, didn't you, fella? Yeah. I had what is described by some as too much of a good thing. Anyway, we're not going to hold you long. That's neither hither nor thither. What we're here to tell you is this is the second part of our special two-part episode. With this woman, please, just cool down on the announcements. Featuring Paul F. Tompkins.

Wouldn't they just assume we're all across it? And if you're not on top of things, you deserve to miss the flight. Oh, I don't know. Stop spoon-feeding this flight information. Have you ever been called? Yes. It's not a good feeling, hey. Not a good feeling at all.

This episode is brought to you by Big Pipe, the greatest ISP in New Zealand. That's not one of their taglines. That's just my opinion. You might remember them from the last part of this episode when 90% of you went out and changed your internet provider on a whim, which I congratulate you for. Also, I mean, obviously in this case, you were right to do so, but you might not want to just follow our word like that.

And, you know, I mean, we could be... This is a specialty area, because let's not screw around. Guy, you know me, I'm a geek. I'm a big, fat nerd. And I know about these sorts of things. Big Pipe have the best deals in New Zealand for fibre. They're very fast. they're very reliable and all their support is through online so you have to wait for call-centred

all of their employees you could walk in there and demand any of their employees to throttle you by the neck or strangle you they won't do it they will they will not lay a finger on you they can't you could literally try and concoct a situation in which you're sort of are teasing their staff in a way which would lend itself to you being strangled not even because you've requested it but because you've sort of you've coaxed them into this circumstance even then The unique selling point that guy is delightfully dancing around with whimsy and humour is the fact that Big Pipe offer no throttling on their speeds, use as much internet as you please. Who ordered the helping of nerd information?

No contracts, great online support, and they've got one of their plans, for example, which is called the Fast Plan, it's only $79 a month. You don't have to sign up for any amount of time. The good news is that for the rest of this episode, I'm not joined by Professor Fink or Frank, or whatever nerd version of Timbat just climbed out of his mouth. The Simpsons. Sort of like that. Anyway, look, it's us too, and Paul F. Tompkins.

Oh, hey, shut up for a second, guy. There's more of this to go. Use the code, worst idea at bigpipe.com. When you sign up and you get your first month free and... And then they'll see that you're using it on account of hearing about it. Oh, yeah, it's good for us if you do that. It's a real good look for us. A real good look.

Because I've got to tell you, these sponsors are really going out and alone. That's right. The concept of two New Zealand comedians talking about a movie, that they keep watching weekly. Anyway, there's the... It's like a very thin... It's like a twig coming off of a tree. It's the worst idea of all time.

It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. This makes me want to squeeter. You know? Scuba. Scuba. Scuba. Scuba.

Wow. Oh. Oh. Bo-bo-do-do-do-do-do-bo-bo-bo-do-do-do-do-do-do-d-do-do-do-do-ch-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-wh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Where is he going? What is he laying like that? That is the hand. That is the question.

A wrist watch. There is a man in this film. His name is Coffee Guy. We love Coffee Guy. Coffee Guy comprises about a 100th of a percent of the film. And before we discover what exactly it is he is doing or where he might be going, because we obviously talk at length about him and his exploits. How did you find his performance? how do you find the edit he gets given it is truly insane

because I had not seen it and thank you for pointing out here he comes and then what I saw it's even better that I imagine in my head it's truly insane and it's like what's so funny to me is he seems as if he's like the actor it seems as if he's trying to be professional about it and say like

okay I have to remember to drink this at this time for continuity. It almost seems like he's trying to do the right thing and completely does the wrong thing. He's blown it. God love him. He's blown it. God love him.

But, I mean, full credit to him, the actor still the potential in this bit part. That's right. Which, you know, we have taken the liberty of fleshing out. You know, he's a featured sex in the city movie player. He was also in the first film. That's right. Who was he in the first movie?

I think he's like the same kind of guy. He has a credit, something like that. But you know the story, the famous story of the street car named Desire? There was a fellow, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is advice to actors, that you should never, it's, it's along lines of no small parts, just small actors. Like, you should treat every job, every role that you get with the same level of, of professionalism. an actor is asked, he plays one of the guys at the very end of streetcar named Desire

who takes Blanche Dubois away into the loony bin, right? And so someone asks him, you know, he says, I'm in this new play and someone says, what's the play about? He says, well, it's about an ambulance driver who he takes a woman away

to the nut house. So I think this guy, he clearly built a story around this character that he's playing. Which we have tried to hone in on what he honed in on. Yeah. And I think you guys,

I think we're coming very close to cracking me. Did you, I mean, do you want to throw an interpretation of what you saw on the screen out this week? Okay. Are you familiar at all with this supernatural? Yeah. Okay. I'm aware of it. Do you know a movie called Thinner?

No. No. Thinner is about a big fat guy who's very, very rude and he insults a gypsy at one point who puts a curse on him to become thinner he says thinner and then the guy gets thinner and thinner at first he's happy about it but then he realizes uh oh i keep getting thinner this is turning into a problem i've seen the movie and don't recall how it is i think at the end he's just a skeleton i don't know so i think probably what happened what this guy was.

He offended some sort of witch shaman, gypsy said the wrong thing at the wrong time and this magical being said to him caffeinated

and so he keeps drinking caffeine but he's very sleepy. It doesn't have any. effect on him, but he keeps craving and he needs more and more caffeine. And so he's drinking it faster and faster even though it is, of course,

scalding the shit out of his mouth and throat. They just gave it done. Hot, fresh coffee. High, fresh, piping coffee. And he orders them. Like, you never see a waiter bring him the coffee. So clearly, he has ordered three coffees at once,

and he's got them lined up in a row, and he's doing them like deadwood shots, right? He's just going to go down. drink those coffees and then he's going to probably as soon as he walks out of the coffee shop fall asleep in the street because he's so tired his curse was it sounds a lot like chronic fatigue syndrome it's Epstein Park it turns out it was just a coincidence right that this was not a magic person at all it was just someone wearing a scar from their head it was a dress-up day at the hospital that's right the doctor gave the diagnosis in character as a shaman that's right I don't think

mine made any sense. No, it absolutely didn't. I mean, it absolutely didn't, but water and coffee. So he was in, there's such a great rush to get the coffee down, so he would not have to suffer the indignity and embarrassment of falling asleep. That's right. He's got so much caffeine in him and it doesn't make any difference. I'll be damned if I'm going to fall asleep in this hair cafe.

He keeps trying, keeps trying. Well, I, um, we've been talking for a little while. That's true. I don't want to outstay our welcome here. But I'm keen to get both of your guys' thoughts. on just exactly where we're stacked up on the Dickbot versus Brady the Rat King matchup that is impending

where are we sitting right now who's our money on how do we think this goes down well you are up to speed I can't remember who so sorry Dick Bot that's a very niche that question to throw it out into the Dickpot is

the Danish architect Dick Spurt is actually a presumably Japanese made artificial intelligence, born in a lab, escaped, who was hiding out in the desert to gain as much information as he can about humans while escaping the ire of the NSA who were trying to destroy him and also collecting enough solar energy to power himself. How many episodes did I miss? Because I thought I was all caught up.

Has he been talked about a lot? A couple of times, I think. Have you heard us on the, did you hear us talking about stuff on the plane? It's a recent dick Yeah, I heard the plane one. You've only missed yesterday's one. Which hasn't been released yet. Yeah, but I don't think even is that dickbot heavy.

Pretty much what we have here is... I don't recall the challenge between the two. So, Dick, well, actually, that might have happened off Mike. I feel better about that now. I feel better about that now. Pretty much, what we have discovered or read into it is that we have Dickbot here

who has made it to America. Yes. And he's now a good level of artificial intelligence, which is going to enable him to sort of essentially try and take America. Right. And so he's programmed to destroy all humans. Americans, yeah. And Brady's obviously been harnessing the power of the rats and the sewers of New York.

And the defenses of Dickbot against humans is very strong because he's been training, you know, he understands how they work and weaknesses. and whatnot, but he has poured no time or effort into learning how to defend himself against vermin or rats. Right. And so sex in the city three, in essence, is a battle royal for control of the earth between Brady and his hordes of rats. Right.

And Dick Bot. I feel as if Dick Bot is a very formidable adversary, obviously. Like at the end of the movie, when he's fucking some. Samantha on the hood of the car. Since we don't see the point of penetration, he might be fucking the car. Do you know what I mean? It's possible.

We don't see it. And she's just into it. Your wife did walk into the lounge at the time when that was on screen. She said, no one fucks like that. She's got a point. Maybe that's how you fuck a car. That scene early on when they're, after the gay wedding, when they are.

Samantha's with that guy and they're taking turns. yelling yes that would turn me off so hard maybe the unsexiest thing i've never seen in that night it's quite quite it's like a fratty sorority kind of way like yeah yeah yeah we're getting some so so you acknowledge the fact that they're pretty evenly mad absolutely but man oh man there's so many rats there's so many rats especially in America, and if he's going in New York City, Brady's home turf? Yeah. Forget it.

Yeah, okay. Forget it. There's like 10 rats to a person in New York City. Guy you, same camp? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm a big Brady fan. Who isn't? I'm a big rat guy. Yeah.

A big rat guy. You know that. Come on. Come on. We've talked Ed knows him about my affinity for rats, Paul. Now I get your T-shirt. Yeah, well, it's made of rat first. That's right.

It's a picture of a rat, and then your face, rat guy. I get it now. It's pretty warm, which is why I'm sweating all over your couch. Also, the t-shirt is losing a lot of juice, a lot of fluid. It's a very juicy teacher. Yeah, we'll get this thing dry clean. Sure. Don't worry about it.

But, yeah, I mean, I'd like to think, because in essence, also another speculation we made is that Dick Bot is trying to take out all of the electricity in America, which is obviously all traces back to the Pentagon. That's where you make all of your power. Yeah, we understand. It all comes from the Pentagon. That's what it shaped that way. That's right.

And so the rats can just, any to any ploy that Digbot has, you know, by harboring or using all of this electricity, can easily be undone by the little nashers, little gnawing chompers on the rats. You're ignoring the solar power part, which is the whole reason he's in the Middle East to the government. Dickpot's developed right of power in the south, much like Superman with our yellow sun. He's got, he can't control all of America without controlling their power mains. And we never trust...

See, okay, do you know what? I mean, to me the solar power thing seems like he's not dependent on other people's power. He's self-sufficient. Well, yeah, so he can get the job done of destroying the grid while powering himself, disempowering others. What a metaphor. So if he takes everyone else's power away, he is the only one with power. Having said that...

Because he's stored up all the solar energy. Well, that's true. But also, to play devil's advocate to myself, inextricably, the rats have no use for power either. So they don't need it to win the war anyway. That's true. So I've kind of painted myself into a corner and I feel like I'm going to have to join Team Brady. Do you think rats enjoy the fact that there's electricity though? It makes it easier for them sometimes if there's street lights on.

It makes it easier for them to find stuff to eat. We cook food for them. We leave it in the gather for them. One day they will rise up and realize that our dependency on power is our single largest vulnerability. And they'll find a way to chew through those power courts. You know they're talking down there in the sewers. but I mean it benefits them just as much as it benefits us probably even more so because they are dependent upon foraging for food and it makes it easier if there's lights on

in an alley for them to find a dumpster and also if they've sort of you know posied up in a nice house in secret obviously not a lot of rats are living confidently that's right with their little rat lounges within a human lounge you've got lights you've got a lot of triggers a lot of warnings every time that you're aware that the actual owners of the house might be coming home you can scurry out of it yeah close the party down cops are here i guess i just i'm just imagining a little rat scurrying across the ludge picking up its own feces to try and hide the evidence that it's been hanging out i guess i just wonder do they appreciate it you know what i mean like are they saying this is great that this is we have this i suspect they are appreciative

of it in the moment and they will endure it until power turns against them so our our use of electricity, we start turning our attention in a very serious way to wiping out the rats, and that's when they will take us out. I think it's too late to do that. We should have been doing that a long time ago. Was us wiping out the rats or vice versa? Well, yeah, being ready to wipe out the rats

because I think it's too late. They got really close with the plague. They made a big play, and they did well. It's true. Although I heard recently that the rats were maybe not to blame for that. What were fleas? Fleas. There's fleas, but then there's also Oh, some other animal

It might have been there, fault A big animal or a little like I think a little animal Like a fairy animal, like a dog Or like a mosquito Maybe a mosquito I might have been an insect Might have been an insect

But the rats are the one They take the rat for the plague But it might not have been their fault Well, I'm sorry To the rats then Well, now I feel bad It's very big of you to do Before Brady was awarded the kingdom

He had to apologize on behalf of humanity or that blame laying. That's how he got them. Fact. I love that. He had to read out a script that they'd written in which he renounced the whole responsibility for the bubonic plague. Down the barrel. Fact.

Straight down the barrel. Would your gentleman like to add anything? To this conversation. You're touching my knee a lot now. I'd like to add a couple things. Yeah. The guy who plays the Miranda's asshole boss. Yeah.

Was a comedian Ron White. Ron White, that's who he is. One of the blue-collar comedy kings or whatever. I love him. I did not see that coming at all. I love his performance in the film. He was terrific. All this time you've been talking about him,

I have never been able to picture him, and I was astonished to find out that it was blue-collar comedy star, Ron White, of all people. We had a lot of people do this to us through grown-ups too as well. We were talking about people. We're in New Zealand. We only just got the internet. And people were like, oh, it's this guy.

Oh, it's this dude. Oh, it's this ESPN announcer who's doing a cameo. And we were like, I thought he was just the gym teacher. Right. You know? But there's just all these cameos. So I'm looking forward to the furthering of that journey, finding out who's in this movie. Another thing when Big and Carrier having dinner at home, the beautiful anniversary of dinner that he's made her.

Sausidrol. Sausidroll. And a good and sake of wine. And he says, oh, you. He says, oh, you have some Asabuco on your face. And then he licks it off. Like, doesn't lick it off of her. He eats it off of her.

I would never do that to my wife, whom I love more than anyone on earth. She had food on her face? There's no way I would just go. He doesn't, there's no evidence of tang. He just goes, he just gets it. I'm totally okay with it. He eats it off of her.

This was a big fork in the road between Guy and I, Because about 10 episodes ago, I was like, that is disgusting. I was like, I would do that. Here's why it's disgusting. Because he tries to make it sexy. Yeah. It's not cute. He tries to make it sexy.

I wouldn't, and it's gross. That is a fair point because, yeah, if it's goofy, if you do that goofy. Yeah. You're laughing. It's a way to play it up. You're throwing food at each other like married couples do. That kind of thing. I don't know why he's calling a sausage roll also, Bucco.

That's what's crazy to me. one final thing these two rich people in their rich fucking apartment in New York City this gigantic apartment that they have they're sleeping in a double bed

that's insane it's insane a double bed they're like crammed in there like it's Charles Dickens Times it's ridiculous you

funnily enough you also pointed out that when Carrier Miranda go to Abu Dhabi just sharing a room. There's not two beds in one bedroom in this lavish like beyond here. They're picked up at the airport in four

separate cars and then they're shown to this this mansion within a hotel like here's this gigantic property that is all yours over there is the shared boudoir and then they're like Ruby's why would you be why would that be happening and why would you be

excited about it's a private bar in there knock that thing out chuck a bed in there They wouldn't have to share. And there was no payoff to it, right? Oh, no. There was no payoff to it. No. There was nothing that justified them.

There was no gag that came out of it. Yeah. Because one of them's always asleep in the other ones of wake, and the only time Carrie wakes Miranda up is when she rushes in from out of the room, so she could have hit her own. You're totally right. There's some dynamite deleted scenes of just gas bagging at midnight, just shooting the breeze. What boys do you like?

Boy, that's probably true. That's probably true. We were saying just before we started. started rolling that it'll be with him and i haven't looked up the deleted scenes in sex and three two uh but we quickly arrived at the idea there they probably aren't any deleted they didn't trim any of the fat off this thing oh i bet they did i bet they did i bet they did i bet there's even more shit out there one thing i did suspect just ever so briefly is i i don't know how it got cut as well it must have been atrocious but carrie has to have given a best man speech there's

no power to her being the best man absolutely she's just standing there they make her the best man they talk about her being the best man multiple times and you're like okay she's a author so she's obviously very like articulate and yet I think on the wedding on the wedding bill it says she was going to do a reading and I think what it was is she was going to do the camera does pan down we do see the

because big is like this gay wedding how long it's it going to last and we get to see a sort of a visual cue for how long it's going to last while Carrie also narrates exactly what's happened a little time later they're spoon feeding it to their idiot audience which is us

and only us at this point Also, that, that, really quickly. No, don't, no, don't. Paul, don't you dear. Well, I am curtailing what I'm saying because I'm in your home. You get to dictate the length of this. I could go all night and I would be happy to. I don't want this to be a bummer for the listeners because you usually, this is a nice, compact, tight podcast.

We'll split it up. Two-part it. Two-part it. Why not? Thus conclude, but no, this is definitely. If we did split it up, the heart one. We're already in part two. Well, to get the whole line of, How's My Tie and the big reveal of, you know,

Carrie and the tucks and everything. Sorry, just briefly explain what that line is. Big is looking in the mirror. He's getting dressed for the gay wedding. It's a gay wedding. So there's gay wedding they're going to. He's getting dressed for it. And so he's in his form of wear.

And he's adjusting his tie in the mirror. And he says, how's my tie? And then we swish pan over to carry in a tuxedo saying, How's my tie? I don't think if you're a sighted person and you're looking at your tie in the mirror, you need to ask someone, how is my tie? He's looking at it. What more feedback does he need?

He's colorblind for a start. So he's just making sure that. It's black and white though. This is his default. He's here to double check every day of his life Before walking out of the house That's a bloody good point Because that's a very legitimate line

If there isn't a reflective surface around You go like, you know, how's my tie? Do I look okay? Yeah. He is delivering the line into a fucking mirror. He's looking at it as he says it. Nice get pulled. I miss that one.

I was also, I'd also just like to announce While we're very loosely still on the thread that why the reading or the best man speech got cut from the wedding is because it was a reading from Carrie's forthcoming book, I do, do I? And you saw how hot that crowd was at the wedding

and this thing bombed hard. It was brutal. Do you think the reviewer from the New Yorker was at the wedding? And that's why the book got panned? Yeah. I bet you the reviewer didn't even touch the book when it came out.

I was like, oh, there's no way that thing came out. Okay. She couldn't be more of a fucking baby about that review too. The review wasn't that bad. Because we paused it and read it Because they do flash the page up on stream briefs She's called like she's called the Woody Allen of

Yeah She's compared to one of the greatest filmmakers of you know American times or cinema times Or all times if you think about it And they also even by her own admission In the review the section she reads She is described as the talented Carrie Bradshaw And it has some

You know Firm but fair critique About her book And what does she do Fucking whips out They put that tape over her mouth though New York will put that tape over It's fucking santa time, man.

Look it up. That's what a caricature is built on, Carrie. And she's still, that didn't pay off either because with all the preaching they do about like, it's like they don't want the women to have a voice. I think I get the point of the burqa. I feel like there's a direct parallel between it covering their mouths and the men not wanting them to talk. But then that's not paid off in any way when she's complaining about they want to take my voice away.

There's no, there's no sense of. checking privilege of like, oh, I thought I was being silenced because someone drew a cartoon of me. It's so true. But these people really do live in a place. We're shown the whole way through that Carrie is no, there's no empathy for, like, no, you know. Like when she speaks to, um, not Badun, who's her, who's the butler that. Garan.

Garan. Uh, yeah. And he explains his, uh, marriage arrangement. And then the next morning, she's like, uh, said, like, and just makes it about her. immediately, once again. He tells a heart-wrenching story about how he is to save up money and can only see his wife. Every three months.

She still lives in India. They can only see each other once every three months. And Kerry takes that anecdote and doesn't say, you know what, I don't have it so bad. Instead, she says, my life is the same as you're alive. Yeah. She takes what he says completely at face value. Like she doesn't parse it in any way of like,

oh, for him in this situation, this is the best that it can be, as opposed to oh but that's still terrible like she makes it a romantic thing like hey they're away for three months at a time but it's always she just completely parrots what he says twice in the movie this is our this is our hero this is like the person that we're supposed to admire

and twice in the movie she's like I'll just gonna repeat what this man says that's the Roe's role as the advisor he's there he's Rafiki he's here to give some wisdom that repetition once again so I know quite a lot of us about this group running process that was again when michael after the first draft after he'd submitted his pictures

right he submitted what he had was the bones of a script and then a lot of it was just repeated lines we had written in the margins to himself insert another line of dialogue here do you think it was like a cut and paste job yeah and a lot of the lot of that stuff still snuck through find and replace yeah stuck through every step of the way i also liked the uh the the thing that i thought was so absurd was the the central conflict for Carrie is this choice between it's either you do everything together all the time or you have these enforced periods of solitude that lasts a full 48 hours and it's like what what a weird false choice yeah that's how about just balance things out yeah people find a way to do it yeah but she was

Walks into the apartment and Bigger's got his feet up on the couch and it pans to her looking at the couch. He's got his minding his own business reading the paper in his own goddamn house and she's got nothing to do. She grabs a pillow. She throws the pillow across the room. She sighs. She says, ah, great couch, huh? He says, yeah, we waited a year and a half for this couch. You know, giving her a little something and then returns to his paper and then she goes, hey, your shoes are on that couch.

Fuck off. And that point out of that, you're like, get a goddamn hobby. I actually didn't mind the shoes on the couch thing because it's like, yeah, don't, don't. That should go for anybody. You were ragging on the couch at the end of the end of the couch. That couch is terrible. But still, don't put your shoes on the couch. But the thing that was so crazy to me was that he doesn't want to go to that premiere and she makes him do it.

He doesn't want. I would never do that to my wife. That's insane. Yeah, it's a gross thing to do. That's not a thing that adults do. Yes, exactly. It's so weird. Like, no, you know what?

We're not going to do separate things. You're going to go to this thing you don't want to go to with me. Especially because she has been doing sweet fuck all all day. She's finished this book, so she's on holiday at this point. She plies him with alcohol and says, hey, you're being a pussy, put a shirt on. Yeah. It's better work, man. Why don't you just make a deep?

And he's colorblind. His job is very difficult when you don't know which direction the market is. He's also got vertigo, so the guy's literally guessing the whole time. I feel bad for him. He's all day, he's just staring at those four screens in his office. He doesn't know what the fuck they do. He can't read them. trying to cook up some sort of money-making scheme

oh my goodness well look also his office looked shitty like he's supposed to be this big shot and even when they do the dramatic shot of him being sad in the window even when they pull out it's like that office looks like a closet

you reckon yeah I liked his office oh I thought it looked kind of small it's like a half of a boardroom it was weird maybe they didn't have enough money for sets and that's why they had to be a shared bedroom in the palace they were reflecting that

uh big's on in hard financial times he used to have a bigger office yeah that's right now he has taken an office roommate yeah there's another guy that we don't see on the other side just just off camera hey would you keep your personal phone calls down I'm trying to do stocks business I'm at work carry I'm really sorry about that but it's not a bad office it's a it's a poor good office it's poor it being a good um well as long as we're talking about big

and is in the fish in the fish bowl and the think tank yeah if you will we might as well dip into Mr Bigg's Bigg's big book of ideas So upon a 51st time joining the worst idea of all time What a strange place to jump on the train But welcome Guy and I have watched Sex in the City too 31 times now

Paul Leap Tompkins joins us in this episode This is your second viewing Mr Big is in this film And he works in an office And he's very sad and colourblind And suffering from vertigo And in his office is not a computer at his desk But there is a big leatherbound book

which he's scribes Full of his genius ideas Who would like to grab the reins? Well I just like this is not This is not Probably the big idea But I did find out I think I'm onto something here

And that is Every year he uses the book To draw up his anniversary present For Carrie Oh no And what he's drawn So Carrie says After they've finished their sausage rolls

She says she gives him the Rolex and he's happy or whatever and then he says your gift is in the bedroom and she says it better be something I've not seen before and he's figured that out exactly what to get her this is presumably the year after whatever but he goes into the room and he opens up where that where eventually the flip screen battle television is

and there's also on the back of that uncomfortable conversation about parenting that they had at the wedding with that Mormon couple the one good moment in the film there was the one decent moment in the film of tension conflict yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so the movie was saying something sure so she says well it'll be to be something i've not seen before and they go into the room and he opens up the cupboard and he's just gone out into the street and picked up a bait a newborn baby

that's now in the room goes we got a i got us a bait we got a baby right i got us a baby which you haven't seen before yeah yeah yeah he's in a baby but not this particular baby Which is... And I hit it in the desk. Yeah. And yes, it wasn't the aircon that was making that noise. It was a crying baby, a crying baby, that we've gotten our desk.

And I think this is one of his ideas, one anniversary is he went out there and took a baby and put it... I don't know. It tickled me pink. Absolutely. Well, as we all know, if there's one thing that will fix a failing marriage, it's inserting a child into it. It works every time. Every time. You know what this marriage needs.

Another person involves. who's relying on us to be very on the level and energetic and balanced and dedicated to it. Because the other time, whenever she says there'd be something in that room I haven't seen before, I always think it's a dismembered moose cock. For whatever reason, I always think. It is like, I've been trying every year.

You've seen a lot of stuff, but there's surely. Mr. Biggs' big book of ideas, a lot of those pages are populated by money-making schemes. colored by the fact that he's, you know, he seems to be in Water Street somewhere. He's a, yeah, he's a man of the business world. Yeah, I mean, what did you see on those? You watched the movie this time.

What did you see fly at you from those pages? You know what I was surprised to see, and it makes sense because of an earlier scene, a design for couch shoes. These are shoes that you can wear on the couch. You mean like slippers? But they're shoes. They're shoes designed to look like slippers

So the idea is I mean the one Here's the one drawback The one drawback is when you're out of the world People think you're wearing slippers Right But But you're wearing shoes

You're wearing hard shoes That you wear to work You're going to explain it to it For you. Here's the thing It's not There's it's still in beta But the idea is that

But, you know, of course, when you're out and about just in the world, people are you wearing your slippers out? We've got the pitch meeting. Yeah. Like, you can't wear slippers. It's very important. It's like, I know they look like slippers, but they're couch shoes. Oh, now people are intrigued. Right.

This is where it pays off. But then, when you're nagging, wife is telling you you can't wear your shoes on the couch, which it's what we all want to do. You know, when I come in. after a hard day at work and, you know, some people are like, take off your shoes. And I'm like, they're my shoes and I'll leave them on when I want to. And to me, I love having shoes on and I love laying on the couch. I wish I could do them both together, but it's frowned upon. Now with couch shoes, I have shoes that no one will ever know aren't slippers and I can wear them on any couch I want.

So you are putting up with Like a whole lot of inconvenience and questions Out on the street For the creature comfort Of secretly knowing you're wearing shoes On a couch at home Look, it's the most decadent thing there is To wear your shoes on the couch

I love it It's like ancient Rome, it's great 100% so Yeah I'll give you $50,000 for 10% of the company My name is Fio Perfetus And I will give you $25,000 For 5% of the company

Dutton It's the British version It's called Dragon's Den Yeah Or as they call it Dragon's den Stupid British people Dragonstons

Throwing the insult Far and wife this week Oh he's in the Dragonstden day Oh oh it's going to get hot in the fire pit In the Dragon's Den He's going to be a pile of bones With that helmet on That male armour your way is going to get

My heart if you go too close to that, Dragons you'll go burn some skin off Find out if he survived Next week on British Dragon's Dead Literal Dragon's Dead I feel like we're probably heading towards A natural conclusion of the episode

I feel like we're just kidding So then I guess At this point I would like to reiterate Paul Liff Tompkins. You're an absolute legend for letting us into your house. It's my pleasure. I feel like some sort of tiny wooden horse that I've had an inside of, left myself at the gate. A tiny wooden horse?

Not a great big wooden horse. Nope, little one. It's a new twist on an old thing. And thank you very much. Thank you guys. It was a pleasure to have you. This was very fun for me. This was good, right?

I mean, apart from watching the film, of course. Yeah. Even that. And so the listeners know, my challenge to me, myself was to not speak during the movie. I was going to watch it like a movie. I wanted to see how far I could get. I couldn't get very far.

You got really far. A third of the way through maybe? That didn't usually going on bloody gas bagging through this old thing at this point. And what was, yeah, that changed the context of watching it for us also because it's not bad for you guys. Because it was good. Yeah, it was interesting because we were forced, it was like, you know, the energy in the room lent it to us actually investing in the movie. and not distracting ourselves with with a waffle. But once I saw how little time had passed,

I was like, we just got to talk. Fuck? Yeah, this is really hard. Yeah. And you could, yeah, there's a lot of, I was getting a lot of pent up sort of edgy energy. I was doing some tap and whatnot. I noticed that.

Taffin and whatnot. It was so weird. That was really weird to be watching it with you guys because you both had moments like that where there was like heavy sighing and there was, like, you were, I think, cradling your head at one point while you were watching it, Tim. I was hoping you didn't notice that.

Yeah, it was very, my heart really went out for you. And I realized, wow, these guys really have watched this that many times. Well, yeah, we did. And I can't imagine. And Amiga, 21 more. We recorded an episode of Spontagnation, which is your podcast, which I always feel like I'm pronouncing incorrectly. Am I adding a syllable?

No, you're saying it right. You'll almost definitely be spelling it wrong. And the episode will be coming out. that later in the year in about December. December 14. But you were very sweet on there and you see you, you know, all jokes aside, we did our nice story and it was a beautiful thing and I felt like we had some really good stuff in there and it was, it was fabulous.

It was a lot of fun. It's very silly. But then you're at the end, you were kind of like, listen, guys, really. Pull us, you pulled us aside. All jokes aside, I'm worried about you. You need to kind of. I like to joke and kid around as much as the next guy. I told, I told the fellas, you must have do this again.

Do you know what it felt like? It felt like being Werner Herzog at the end of Grizzly Man when that woman has the recording of Timothy Treadwell's final moments as he's being torn apart by a bear and he's saying, you must never listen to this. Me, he's saying to you guys, life is very short and you cannot spend another year watching a terrible movie together. If you don't understand that reference,

because that is visceral and hilarious. Good God. Well, once again, um what are the let's do what you do where can we find you online we usually if you're listening to this you probably have found him that's true you never know you never know the main diagram of people who know about us and not you would i'd say you're not huge i'll go for that slice i want to bring that slice it's all yours uh p f tomkins on twitter uh t o m k k i ns uh and uh paul f tompkins on tumbler and you can find live dates there and stuff like that and i have a

podcast called Spontane Nation on Earwolf. It comes out every Monday. You've got a bunch because it's got Super Ego. Super Ego, yes, which comes out sporadically. It's very good, though. I love Super Ego, yeah. And you can get all the back episodes of Paul's stuff as well on Howl, which is this fantastic new, app-y, platformy product-y podcast.

Yeah, it's sort of like an almost like a Netflix-y kind of thing for podcast, but there's all the old comedy bang-bangs from longer ago than six months ago or on there. I mean, that's a vast catalog. It's worth, I think it's like five bucks. You have access to all that stuff. That's like kind of nothing. And there's an original Super Ego series on there. You can only get there called Forgotten Classics.

Oh, cool. Where me and the guys at Super Ego take a classic work of literature that none of us have ever read and we improvise what we think it is about. Yeah, I think. Anyway, it's not important. I think I heard Matt maybe was telling us about that idea. I bet he was. Did you read the first sentence and the last sentence?

We get the first sentence, the last sentence, and the list of characters. yeah and then um and there's also on how you you we find out and like there's bonus episodes where we actually read what the synopsis of the plot and find out how close we are yeah it's awesome uh guy montgomery yeah throws some things out and bear in mind that this will probably be on after we do our gig it logo oh okay can i just say you did an awesome job on stage man you're so good you know what i'm a classic dude uh if you are listening to this then please come along i'm doing a double feature in Wellington with Joseph Moore at VKs

if you're in Wellington, New Zealand we're doing it I don't have the dates but it's in October it's all online It's going to be It's going to be It's going to be a lot of laughter

A lot of kissing A lot of handshakes A lot of love So yeah Get on that Otherwise Guy will tweet it out Just keep doing exactly what you're doing

Right now Don't stop Get in the loop Guy underscore Mont Yeah Guy underscore Mont And I am Tim underscore bat with two T's. You're more than that.

You're more than an online profile. Thank you so much. You're a well-rounded human being. Sweet of you to say. With thoughts and experiences. Well, that's us for another viewing of sex in the city too. And we will catch you next time, which will be the one before the LA Podfest one, which happened yesterday. Figure that out.

Until then. What? Hashtag decal, decal, your niquah. Dequale your niquah. And if you want to look up to Quill Jackson as well, I don't know what he's doing for a living anymore. Probably working in an extras sort of acting studio with Con Barrel. That's not the handle there.

Stop listening. For the love of God, would you turn your goddamn electronic device off and go talk to someone? Say goodbye, Paul. Bye, Paul. Good one, Dad. The worst. And thus concludes our fabulous two-parter with Paul Lev Tompkins.

We would now like to retire from show business on top. That's right. undefeated. I wish that episode would never end. Another shout out to Paul E. Tompkins. You should listen and subscribe to his podcast Spontanionation. Try and spell it. I dare you. All work through his back

catalogue of the Pot-F Tomcast. Just follow him. Follow him around. Whatever he does, sniff it out. Find him and follow him. In real life. Thanks again to our sponsor for this episode. Big Pipe. They are an internet service provider in New Zealand. If you're not in New Zealand, suffer in your dach. Stop listening now. If you're not

in New Zealand, shut up. Because we've got to talk about private New Zealand stuff. All right, guys, what are we going to do about the rugby world? We need to win this thing, all right? We need to come up with a plan ASAP. I mean, I know that we can pretty much trust our guys to bring it home, but I don't want to take any risks. Sorry to interrupt your rugby chat guy, but let me just mention that BigPipe have no

contracts, no throttling, great online support, and if you sign up with the code worst idea at bigpipe.com.n.z, they'll give you a month free to test the waters. bring your own modem and broadband not available everywhere i think those are the things i carry a modem at all times i do you know i do that's how they keep it so cheap i'm going to round up a team of lacrosse players to to um to learn how to play lacrosse we're still in an airport by the way okay guys going to get some sleep now and uh i think the next episode might be the la podfest one or it might not if yeah i'm not sure we might chuck one in between then um we had to wait a while before we released it.

So we're just grabbing the file for that now. We'll get it up. If you want to see the video stream for that, Google LAPodfest. I think it's LAPodcastFestival.com. Is that right, guy? Yes. And then go to the video section

and you can buy the ticket with the code worst, and it'll get you five bucks off. So I think it's $20. And then you can not only watch us, you know, talking with a visual accompaniment, but also my brother,

my brother and me. And Paul L. Tompkins falling off a stage during the intro of Spontagnation Featuring Reviews, Andy Galey You'll get Mark Maren, you'll get Probably science Yeah, he was all over the place

Look, it's going to be a lot of fun Just stop listening To for fuck sake It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 2