The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E45 5 Stars

Episode Date: October 11, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESThis tank is running low on gas folks. But luckily, the end is in sight for our two kiwi battlers. The Church of Noeth(spelling?), the ire of Nicky, the superior swimming skills of Guy - all are on show in this episode. A web-enabled rat super species are now a terrifying possibility and the wedding was probably expensive. ALSO - Guy and Tim are coming back to America for the finale episode.Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen, hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more, and no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for

ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com. Y-O-T-O-P-L-A-Y dot com. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season two Welcome Along to the worst idea of all time

Episode Noemro 45 My name is Tim Bat my name is guy montgomery and hey tim old buddy old pal first time talking to you even seeing you this year you look great you smell better it's good to be alive thank you so much guy we're about to you coming to us from i'm not next to you so the smell was a guess yes i am in christchurch new zealand the mainland jewel of the south pacific what new zealand or christ church christch christch christch specifically Truly not No, it isn't

It definitely isn't But it's a nice town It's fine I was born there You were born there I was born there I was born in Wellington actually Well we're all children of New Zealand

Guy and that's what matters Welcome to a podcast Where Guy and myself watch sex in the city Two every week for an entire calendar year And keep reviewing it We're up to week 45 That is It's a heck of a lot to him

I actually Because you just called it a review podcast And it occurred to me In between the movie finishing in this conversation beginning that we haven't really been abiding specifically whatever the rules or notions of a review are we find it very difficult to bunker down and nail into the movie you know as as a movie is traditionally reviewed which is you assess the plot the you know the acting sort of the whole feel of the thing the scope of it well gosh

darn it guys this is the difficult thing about the podcast how you How are you supposed to keep doing that 45 times in a row? It's impossible. And therein lies the challenge. You know, someone who's just about to finish an Iron Man wouldn't say, how am I meant to finish this? No, the analogy's broken. All I'm saying, Tim, is what are you talking to Iron Man the movie or Iron Man the Triathlon?

I'm talking about the triathlon, sort of Iron Man. Okay. Do you know how big that is? What do you mean? The Coast to Coast. Is the Coast to Coast a different thing? Yeah, the coast coast is a different thing A full Iron Man

I know this because my little sister's She's going to do a half iron man A full Iron Man, it's five kilometres of swimming 42 kilometres of running And 180 kilometres of cycling Not necessarily in that order Good God How far can you swim if you need to?

Me? Yeah I'm a born winner Tim I can probably swim 15 kilometres In choppy waters Are you serious? Absolutely I got a hard that just won't quit.

You're like the human fish. I would die instantly. Not a strong swimmer. Not if you were with me. I'd put you on my back and God damn it, I'd drag you for seven and a half kilometers. I'd freak. I'd be one of those guys in the water

who freaks out and drowns you accidentally. And I wouldn't even want to do it. It's just, it's a human instinct. I'd calm you down. I'd rub my knuckles down your spine and say, who's a good little catfish? And then you would actually, it's a hypnotist technique.

And you would then think that you were a catfish. and you'd say, well, you wouldn't say anything because you'd be a catfish and you'd just swim next to me. Right, I. How'd you find the movie this time, Guy? What was your experience like? It wasn't with you. Okay, well, as a reviewer, Tim, I'd like to say,

I think this movie fundamentally fails across the board. I don't think that the motivation for the... I'm just following tips from dailywriting tips.com forward slash seven dash tips dash four dash writing dash a dash film dash review forward slash uh the actors met my expectations yeah you know they they were good compared to the last time you watched it or are you trying to reset your brain no i think i think compared the last time i watched it and i think this is one of the virtues of the movie is the actors will always meet my expectations at this point uh because they're they're more or less set in

stone so that's a positive the acting it is it's hard to be disappointed when you've seen the movie 40 times before but i can say with supreme confidence and argue you know with my hand of my heart to say the acting met my expectations this week perfectly fantastic so the whole move five stars for acting five stars for acting in fact when i put it in that lens the whole movie met my expectations perfectly this is the tricky thing about doing a film review on the 45th watch isn't it it's a five-star movie you know i knew what to expect and they delivered fantastic what did you think um really struggled really really struggled didn't have a good time i um tried hard from the outset to just just get in there maximum put myself in there

into the screen and um be part of the fun and it was difficult my shining light actually, I'm just going to throw it in now at the five-minute mark, was quite early on in the wedding scene. When Liza Manali makes that crack about weddings, sorry, marriage being a serious business or so she's heard, which I think is a reference to having multiple marriages over her lifetime, Nikki, who's one of their brothers, Stanford's brother? No, yes, no, Anthony's brother. Anthony's brother, I beg your partner, he is too.

Nicky doesn't like that Nicky doesn't like that joke Nicky looks visibly disappointed and he shakes his head not in a way like oh that old Liza Manali but in a way like that was in poor taste He's a conservative guy This is what we know about him

He believes in the sanctity of marriage And fucking people at weddings like a machine He has been a youth pastor At the Church of Knoweth For nigh on six years now What gospel is exactly Exactly is he following that he's leading children and just having rampant sex with 52-year-old women he meets at parties at weddings, no less. At his brother's wedding, no less.

What gospel? Yeah. The gospel according to Chris, chapter 9, beginning at verse 4. And yea, these shall defend the sanctity of marriage while exploring thine own sexuality with a 52-year-old woman at thine brother's wedding. or Kerry Preston, Queen of the underworld shall take thee.

Take thee testes through thine urethra. Jesus. I mean, it's all there, Tim. It's all in the text. It's ancient text. It's Aramaic, so the translation isn't a hundi,

but we get the gist of it. That according to Chris's show that Chris Rock did, he actually stole the title of the cartoon, the animated series that he did from the gospel. According to Chris, The church was around before Chris Rock's show.

Obviously, the church was around before Chris Rock's show. I mean, let's not get bogged down in Samandex. Tim, it's a fine shining light. And speaking of conservative, I'd like to stay on that note because I notice a potential alternative plot line or wrinkle that as yet has not occurred to me in the movie. As Dick Bot takes Samantha on their lovely date, and he teaches how to smoke shizure for the first time,

and things are getting pretty heated, pretty fast. I think it would be fair to say. I don't think anyone would, you know, call me a liar for attesting to that. And the conservative man gestures that he is upset. There's outrage. He throws his cutlery down, doesn't he? I put it to you, this man is not obsessed by the overt sexual innuendo occurring between Samantha and Dickpot, but that his fish, which he spent five minutes getting the details of from the waiter,

was not as promised said once on either side but in fact cooked clean through said on either side maybe but put in a warming tray overheated it's dry it's crumbly it's not a good bit of fish so what we've been led up to believe

until this point is that there's an Arab man that we see who's sitting with his wife who's in a full burker across from them and when Samantha is how did you say philating

the shisha pipe we've been only to believe that he's outraged by that action but actually it's just coincidence that's happening at the same time he's outraged by his meal it's just ambiguous ambiguous editing and then this is at this point was even hammered home further

by wherein Samantha and Dickbot agreed that they both need a walk on the beach on account of being lightheaded from the shisha presumably and they stand up and Dick Bot is at half-mast, he gestures angrily. Now, we never see specifically who the angry gesture is at. Now, I put it to you that he is not, in fact, gesturing towards Samantha and Dickbott,

but he is towards the chef or the kitchen, as if to say, well, you send them out here, and they can have a bite of it and tell me this fish isn't cooked clean through. So then who is the, do we just simply not see the person who lays the complaint? No, no, well, what it is, is the waiter is so hilariously incompetent. He, in fact, is there undercover as part of a method writing process because he's writing a sitcom about working as a waiter in a fancy hotel restaurant. And Abu Dhabi. That's right.

So he deliberately fumbles the complaint all the way to the top. And so he, these four women are just a subplot in the pilot episode of his sitcom. So he deliberately sabotages. Samantha and Dick Bot's walk on the beach and also sabotages the conservative man's request to talk to the chef about the fish. It's absolute chaos. And ironically, the name of that subsequent sitcom

is, according to Chris. Yeah. An original series set in Aby-Dabby. It took him so long to get it off the ground that obviously Chris Rock kind of... You surped that title. Well, no, because he was according to... That was according to Jim we're talking about here.

What did Chris Rock have? Yeah. Oh, everybody hates Chris. Oh, you're dead right. You're dead right. Let's not get a pop culture in a muddle. It's all just... It's too late for that, mate.

No, it's not a tit of myself. No, you haven't. Guy, what happened is... Fuck, I didn't enjoy watching it. And I kind of lay... Because I was here on the... by the couch, and so I lay down on the couch. And then I kind of shut my eyes,

and I think I may have drifted off briefly, but I can't be sure. Because I woke up, and, like, everything was still happening. because I've seen the movie so many times before. I can't tell if I remember hearing what was happening this time or if I was just drawing upon a last time. And I feel angry that I might have, as I call it, pulled a guy Montgomery and cheated by falling asleep through part of the movie.

But I will never be able to tell. First of all, Tim, I appreciate you calling it pulling a Guy Montgomery, as I feel that is a fair and accurate title. I would like to challenge you as to suggesting that this is any way cheating. as you learned you are absorbing just as much if not more of the film in a semi-conscious or unconscious state

with the film happening around you than you possibly could as a conscious man engaging with it the movie's only point of entry into your body now is not through you as a conscious being it's when your defence slips your heart keeps going

your brain shifts a gear and it slips through your air and it's like a haze a fuzz that collects around your brain far out man so by osmosis really is how i'm absorbing the movie these days yeah and i'm pretty confident as to why that's that's why you look so fatigued because it is altogether more exhausting well i appreciate you noticing that i look very tired or tired and tanned uh that's that's the timbat way that's your two teas of a timbat summer yeah that's right tired and ten those are

a good a good two teas for summer yeah it's a good way to be you're and chuck a third one in there towel yeah I mean it makes a lot of sense nothing worse than drying yourself with a wet towel yeah hate that or something that isn't a towel so you clean all the yeah oh yeah that's bad what like what are you thinking I'm thinking underwear for some reason I was not enough the underwear is clean either I was thinking of an ice cream wrapper that you just found ice cream wrapper would not you would be it'd be like using a window wiper because it's plastic so it wouldn't absorb anything so you just have to use it to wipe all of the moisture off of you

you'd be moving the water around if anything what you want to do if you're in a beach scenario don't worry about the ice cream wrapper pick it up put it somewhere safe because don't litter your beaches but just roll around in the sand I was just thinking that would that work if you if you rolled in sand enough

wouldn't you completely dry out and the sand would dry out and then it would just fall off you yeah yeah I think in essence would that only work if you were in like salt like pure salt like if you if you were all wet and you need to dry out if you just chuck yourself into one of those salt mountains would that work and just rolled around for quite a while

yeah are you not imagining being in pain when you're doing that though no i think it'll be right i'd rather be hurting than wet that's the timbat motto wouldn't it be fast to draw yourself by throwing yourself in front of a bus and therefore the air moving around you would dry your body well as long as the bus didn't hit you you probably got a point no i'm imagining that you just do it to get dry because you'd rather be hurting than wet whatever you're saying is

you're fucking maniac Tim I've got some breaking news I'm a hydrophobe it's arrived today from Richie Rhine or at HIP underscore squared on Twitter it is a link to an article on the Guardian the title of which

Brain to Brain Interface lets rats share information via internet Oh, oh. Subheading, rats, thousands of miles apart, collaborate on simple tasks with their brains connected through the internet. What does this say to you? It suggests to me that maybe Brady has formed a temporary alliance with Dickbot because Brady controls the biological elements of his kin,

but the AI prowess of Dickbot is all about the tech. He's the one who's in charge of all the computerized stuff and the internet stuff, So if the rats are now communicating, it's not quite telepathy, but through the internet, like thousands of kilometres away or whatever, using the net. I mean, that's a forging of alliances, and it's terrifying. It's the worst thing. It's the worst possible thing that could have happened.

This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. So as a plebeian-level human being, as we both are currently ranked on the Brady Dickbott scale, what's your first reaction to this information and what's your first step towards safeguarding yourself and your loved ones well my first reaction is making a brass eye reference which i'm glad you got if i can tell by you giggle um did you no oh it's the pedophile episode yeah we're like a guy dressed up as a school and there's a bit where they send a pedophile into space as punishment but they accidentally leave an eight-year-old on board who's hiding out in there

and they get a comment from the guys who have coordinated it and they'd say this is the very worst thing that could have happened this is the one thing we didn't want to happen at any rate so after that initial reaction look my second reaction is abject fear and then some sort of acceptance because I've been thinking about the end times recently a lot and I just think

we've all got to admit that sometime it's got to come for us all and just got to make our peace with it a little bit and if it comes at the hand of an alliance between an artificial intelligence created by the Japanese and retribution to the Americans for Pearl Harbor and his new found friendship

with a boy who's controlling all of the rats in New York City I mean there's something beautiful about that of all the ways to go i think it's not the worst it's it's you know it's called being gracious and defeat and uh i think that's what you're exuding right now tim is sort of just uh a willingness to let fate wash over you i for one welcome our internet enabled vermin overlords well spoken kent brockman now what i think concerns me even more deeply is that the lead scientist on this uh miguel nicholasis uh so

So he pretty much, what happened is, as you said, the rats, they were connected through the internet, and if they helped, they could help each other perform tasks to get rewards. So at one point, a light went on for one of the rats, and they'd hit the light, and then that would travel to the internet, and it would trigger the other rat to think, okay, I'll hit the light, and they'd both get a drink of water. Right. So, I mean, it's preliminary days, but it's worrying and it's fearsome. What do you think of it all?

What do you make of it? I think what gets me is that And Anders Saundberg, who studies the ethics of neurotechnologies at the Future of Humanity Institute at Oxford University. So this is one of our premier scientists who's obviously crossed over to the dark side. His quote, I don't think there's any risk of super smart rats from this. There's a big difference between sharing sensory information and being able to plan, I'm not worried about an imminent invasion of rat multiborgs. Is that not just a bold-faced lie? Um, I just, I think he knows not what he does.

Did Dr. Frankenstein realized what he was creating when he flipped the switch and lightning strike? I think not. It's not Dr. Frankenstein. It's Frankenstein's monsters, Dr. Frankenstein. Ugh. Jesus Christ, guy. Your desire to correct me superseded any need for you to do so. You were just waiting for the word Frankenstein to pop up so you could correct someone and I nailed it.

I couldn't have made that up any more than I did. I was deliberately being an asshole In the hopes that you'd get on board with me But it sounded too I'm too tired I'm too tired man I just that movie really tucked me out I wrote some notes down

I'll see if any of them are worth sharing Let me check real quick I've just I wrote the words Oh boy down a lot Oh boy That was when the movie was starting Like for the first 10 minutes That's just what I was thinking

Over and over in my head I was just like oh boy Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy Oh boy oh boy oh boy boy oh boy yeah absolutely like here i am again oh boy watching it again oh boy oh boy not like this it takes it's yeah it's uh yeah one thing i did write down as well guy if i may uh take you off track of you're just mindlessly agreeing with me is the financials of the wedding mind blowing absolutely mind blowing uh yeah staggering obviously i mean

addressed in the film and maybe one of the only ever so briefly but also the closest the movie ever comes to referencing just the display of wealth that is out for all to see they never really acknowledge

the absurdity of their oh I guess fleetingly with passing jokes but they never really probably acknowledge just how insane the whole experience of the trippers and this is the only time where it's actually like oh so you paid money for this

and they're like yeah yeah we had to pay money for this we paid all the money for this well fuck the trip briefly the wedding let's focus in on this thing we're in a destination in new hampshire in new ha no Connecticut isn't it yeah it's Connecticut Connecticut and it looks pretty flashy so you know you're dealing with the usual obscene amounts of venue rental for somewhere that can suit a wedding so we're talking like you know probably early five digits right right there up front you've got a full choir kind of two by the looks of it that you've hired of like full two male choirs of good looking young men so I don't know if the specificity of that drives the price up or if it's a happy coincidence but either way they're not there for free no you've hired Liza Minnelli as you're officiator and you've gotten a performance out of here now I don't know exactly how bright her star is shining these days but I can't imagine Liza picking up the phone on that kind of a gig

for any less than six figures. Okay, good point, well raised. Yes. Catering, always one of the most expensive parts of a wedding. And it doesn't matter if it's a cheaper wedding to put on, a more expensive wedding, it always scales with the wedding, right? So no matter how much it paid for everything else, the food is going to be proportionate to that.

So I reckon whatever they laid down for Liza They probably laid down again in catering Well you look at it So the night of the wedding That's a free-for-all on champagne I mean there are half-finished glasses all over the party It is a A caterer is sort of a young caterer worker

A young caterer worker's wet dream Because they can just go around scooping up All those half-finished glasses of champas They'd be getting absolutely trollied out of the back Then walking around Acknors fancy You ever worked a wedding guy? I've not worked

no I've not worked a wedding as a caterer I knew I've worked in the reason I'm so keen on these half finish things is when I worked at a I worked at an Asian fusion restaurant and a lot of tables would order the buffet and if they'd order the buffet there'd always be more food than they could possibly finish but for some reason

the restaurant was like you can't take the buffet food home in a dog box doggy box whatever otherwise it doesn't make any financial sense for us so I would just look around for the untouched big bowls of curry and I'd just be fucking you know it's slip around the back wall and just be putting it hand to mouth feeding just straight in absolutely and

if you got caught doing that you were in big trouble sometimes i just fill up take away boxes of curry and hide them around the restaurant then during the cleanup i just pick them up and take him home feed the flatmates i remember um when they established that rule at mickey d's i was in mcdonalds and we just bloody absolutely cane it on a run of like quarter pounders just make far too many of the things so if someone was going on a break you'd just siphon off about half a dozen of them upstairs. Yes. For the tea room and then they

changed the whole method of how it works so that I'm pretty sure this is the reason why McDonald started doing build to order in New Zealand because the staff were just making ludicrous amounts of burgers and eating them all and although they made it this whole campaign like they were competing

with Subway where it was like oh we're going to make your burger fresh for you in front of you do-da-da-da-fuck that. If no one's going to McDonald's to get a fresh burger. That has never been the case. That will never be the case. What they're doing is they're trying to save money by only making burgers as the customers order them

so the staff can't eat them all. You've blown the lid on this whole goddamn operation, Tim Bat. I have. I'm one for it, guy. I've got the brain that just, I see through the code. I can read the Matrix. You absolutely can. So back to the wedding.

They blew all this money on the shampas and canopays on the night of the wedding. The next morning, how much would it cost to have a full, sit down catered four meal for all of your guests roughly 200 where they order off the menu with waiters so do you think that um anthony and stanford picked up the tab on that as well uh i feel like it was all i feel like they fronted everything yeah although no it's getting pretty wacky but like you know they all stayed in the same building where the reception was well yeah but let's

assume everyone paid for their own acom in that place because that's generally how how things go down at a wedding. It's like we're having it here. I don't get asked too many weddings. They usually, guy, when you've got friends, mature friends who get married and enter into harmonious and committed relationships, they go, we're getting married at this venue and if you want to stay here, we've got a discount, but it'll cost you $2.50 a night. And then you say, no, I've brought a tent. And then you... They say, that's not really going to fit with the aesthetic of the wedding, Tim. It's kind of a quite nice place and the only lawn available is for crokey. You turn up and you look positively bushyly for the aftermatch the morning after.

It's terrible. Here are all a mess. Next thing you know, Tim Bad's waking up at 9am the morning of the day after the wedding with a croquet ball in his head. You know, two angry groupsmen holding malice at the end of your tent saying, what are you doing on here? Of course, this would never be my style, but I know there is a particular brand of lad out there who would just book no accommodation and attempt to bed whatever bridesmaid or a friend thereof

they could get their hands on that they know it's got accommodation. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Well, except that you're using someone. Yeah, but if they like you enough, it'll be fine. Learning a lot about Guy Montgomery this episode, we're peeling. I wasn't talking about myself. I was speaking hypothetically.

And I can't. You're still talking about your value system, Guy. Do you know what I tried to do during the wedding scene? Alan, who's the annoying bitch who has carried. and big up against a wall because they decide not to have children she's outraged, she's shocked, she's mortified by the fact

She's probably just terrified by her overbearing husband as well At every turn That's true I was trying to see it from her side though This time I was really like Okay I want to enter into Allen's side of things I try and see things from her perspective And I struggled

I just couldn't do it I couldn't get into this mode of like Judging other people for not having children and being shocked What kind of a Shalted upbringing of you experienced that someone deciding to not have kids has shook you to your core like that?

I guess a Mormon. Yeah. Also, I think what I don't know if I mentioned in earlier episodes formerly a member of the Church of Knoweth who then left to become a woman. So still holding on to some of those near and dear family value morals

that are instilled in Nicky as well. And in fact, you'll see in several scenes in the background, you'll see Nikki and Alan making awkward eye contact and then avoiding them. They had a sort of a trist during their time in the Church of Noeth. But I mean, that's by the by. So you can't really describe the Church of Noeth as conservative, per se,

because of this desire, want, rule, parameter, flavour of having rampant sex with people at weddings. But nor is it liberal? Well, it's sort of, you know, for members like Nicky and Alan, it's sort of a build your own belief system. I like that. A pick and mix approach to spirituality. So in the higher echelons of the church,

I mean, that sort of hanky-panky is outright forbidden. But for younger members who are sort of decaling their knee quabs, so to speak, I mean, it's commonplace. as it is, I'm sure, in any religion these days. One final thing I wanted to share about the wedding, and then my notes ended abruptly because I think I fell asleep at that point for a bit, was, I'll tell you what,

I have developed a big old man crush on that gorgeous black guy who's hanging out with pink jacket, who talks to Samantha. Norm Lewis. He's an opera star. Oh, man. I got a big old boy crush on him. Yeah, he is dapper, he is charming.

And that voice. Yeah. Isn't he a Broadway performer? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, man, he's so cool. He is a bit of all right. He's a handsome man. And he's got just the right amount of, in his delivery, like, what's the word?

Kind of a smiley, cheeky delivery without it being too over the top. It's just enough to, you really warm to him. I'm right there with you, Tim. And he's also got him, and he's bouncing off one of the heaviest actors in the film. I'm not talking physically. I'm talking about in terms of. effort visible on screen during a performance reminiscent of P. Schwarzenegger

grown-ups 2, circa 2013. I thought you were talking about Kim, bring the noise, Catrelle, but you were talking about pink shower the pain jacket. I'm talking exactly about pink shower the pain jacket. Now, Tim, I'm just keeping an eye on time here and I'm aware that we're all running,

already running late, as you might say. I've just got a note, sort of, if you will, an edit point, no a correction you know in the newspaper they get a fact wrong someone writes in and says you got that fact wrong the newspaper then prints the thing saying oh we got that fact wrong

yeah dog Suzanne Summers never hosted figure it out on the Nickelodeon network it was in fact Summers did you suggest that at one point yeah I did I got I mean it's the Sybilance isn't it's the S sound I got Suzanne Summers and Summer Sanders

Sanders confused Suzanne Summers and Summer Sanders Sanders that's a good tongue twister You're doing well with it I completely miss that I mean I don't think I'd correct you because I don't know the show well enough either but the only thing I know Suzanne Somers from

is step by step which is some more S is in the mix Suzanne Summers and step by step in Somers Sanders this summer and the summer blockbuster Suzanne Sammers from step by step in summer Sanders and this summer's blockbuster that's too much You are an agile tongue's young man You didn't trip once on that

That's right Good on you guy I was doing tongue weights in the off season Hey, Tim. Yeah, dog. I think that's a squabit-a-bub... Sorry. Well, as chance says that...

Scoop... Scoop-to-bo-bo-pooh. Scribid-bap-ba. Skibbibibiboo. Bada-Boo-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Dub-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Dub-B-B-Dub-B-B-B-B- What's he doing? What's he doing? What's he doing? Skat to Frank Sinatra.

Is the question? Can I... There's a man in this film guy. I want to just let our new listeners in and let them know. I feel like some people might have jumped off. on board with the five-hour episode recently, which tip of the hat to you, if that was your entry point. A lot of people have been getting touch about that episode, because I think there's been a lot of trips over the Christmas New Year period that people have been taken on

planes and trains and automobiles. And thanks for listening, I guess, is all I have to say. I don't know what's on that episode, because I haven't listened to it, and I can't remember what we said. First of all, we got two guests in for the first half, Michael and Patrick King, and then I'm pretty sure that it's just us too, just having the worst possible. full time. But that's no other hand or there. You're explaining what exactly he is wearing and how to tie a bowtie. Oh, really? Yeah. I wasn't aware. Those were the questions we're answering. Answering. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total

lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen, hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more, and no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com, y-o-t-o-p-l-a-y-com. The guide to which we refer as a man in the back of shot when the film's quadrant of ladies, quartet rather, of ladies, are sitting in a cafe, having a bit of brunch, And over... No, Miranda's shoulder

is a guy who, through the magic of editing in the film, appears to consume an entire cup of coffee in six seconds in three gulps. He's just constantly downing that hot java that he loves so much. And we've postulated over the weeks and months and seasons as they've gone by as to exactly what the fuck that guy is doing with that amount of caffeine in the system. and the truth of the matter is guy we've cracked it this week haven't we haven't we just i couldn't agree more the guy the guy had a conversation with his partner his life partner his wife

if you will if you abide the church of north that very morning who was uh sort of samantha's best friend uh in the high school years her name is kimmy uh and they saw They lost touch across university, and then through the years they've kept in touch via emails or initially faxes and then emails. And Kimi has always maintained that Samantha and her are the firmest of friends. In fact, Kimmy categorizes Samantha as her best friend. And it's sort of the only real bone of contention, what is otherwise a very harmonious marriage. Because coffee guy just, he will not stand with this. He never sees her.

I mean, if that's her best friend, he's got no idea, you know? the claim rings hollow on his end and he's pretty much gotten down to work so what he's done is he because of course I mean they were best friends and I have seen Kimby and Samantha were best friends

right through high school fade a little bit in university they both worked they interned together in New York City initially after university but then of course Samantha kind of got picked up by three other friends a la Donnie in the wild thornberries you know it's Charlotte I met Charlotte here

I met Miranda here, and Samantha, she found us. And what it is, is he's gone out there, he's done some research, you know, it's exactly where they load up on food and conversation. You'll notice a newspaper to the bottom right corner of his table, relative to his body, okay, folded over in half. Much like gangsters of yore used to carry a gun to guard and diners, he has placed a small dictaphone in which he is recording to. conversation between Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda.

Now, as soon as Samantha says, you didn't think I'd go to Abu Dhabo without my three best gal pals, boom, job done. Lock it off, wrap it up, walk out the cafe, go home, win that argument, take a holiday in Antigua, I don't know what they do with their time together. But that's it. As far as he's concerned, that's a nail in the coffin of that argument, which has been a specter over their marriage for nigh on 20 years. Holy shit He'd go to all that trouble to prove his wife wrong That she's not actually friends with

With someone she's claiming to be best friends with since high school He's a petty man God Samantha Jones has turned into this porn In a horrible marriage as war I think this is what What's happening now is just There are so many interesting subplots And side stories developing

All around The action of sex in the city too and I feel like we're finally approaching a point in our analysis where we can fully magnify and investigate all of these alternative storylines well thank God someone had the wherewithal time and commitment to do it and thank God it's us two gentlemen equipped

with the mental faculties to dig through the malaise and fog of what the movie immediately throws at you and to get in there peel back the layers of the onion and find out that inside there is a bulb and that bulb is shiny and not what you would expect.

Tim Bat could kiss you on the mouth if we're in the same room but I cannot. There's a bit of audio that I wanted to start using from the movie but I'm not sure

of what the copyright implications would be so I'm just going to say it because it would be so perfect for one of our regular visitations on this podcast Mr Big walks in on Carrie who was packing

to take your overseas trip and he's got this tiny empty cup of coffee which is obvious. obviously empty. He takes an imaginary sip from it and he said, I had an idea I wanted to talk to you about. And I wish we could use that bit of audio, but like I said, I'm not sure if we could get the clearance from the studios to chuck that on. I have an idea I want to talk to you about. I had an idea I want to talk to you about. What we'll do is we'll harness and refine

Mr. Bigger's impersonations to the point that us delivering the line will be virtually indistinguishable from Chris Noeth. who's much busy with other ventures than acting in movies now for those of you who are curious Anyway The book is called Mr Big's Big Big Book of Ideas

And the man who has He's seen some highs He's seen some lows He's always scheming Always plotting Always planning Always drawing up something Oh yeah

A lot of stuff going on in that book Inventions, patents Ideas for Inventing Patents Bottom to top Loaded with ideas What's going on there? He's come up with a board game guy. He's come up with

his very own version of what's the old Milton Bradley game called? Rat rat? No, what is it? Rat trap? Mouse trap. Mouse trap. Thank you. He's got a variant

on it. So in a similar way to how often academics and professors and researchers who work in psychology will come up with games to test their subjects, right? They come up with fun little games that you can play and then they derive some findings out of that

and they figure it all out. So what Mr Big is trying to release out into the market for mass distribution this holiday season is a brand new game that is going to equip the world, make them ready to take on Brady's Rat Army. So he's developed a form of mouse maze where you're given a particular set of parameters similar to Cluto where there's like a set amount of resources

you can use as weaponry and some set battlefields that you can choose from and then you have to get incredibly tactical at taking on the vermin that are in the board game his ultimate goal with this isn't to make money it's not to gain prestige among the board game crowd you know which are a lovely crowd to have the love of we all know this lovely fan base to grab he's not after that he hasn't even put in his name on this board game He's just there to prepare the masses, the general populace, for the coming rat oculips, courtesy of one Brady. He's not sounding the alarm. He's not, he's not...

Because he knows that will panic the people, right. That's the beauty of big. He knows how people work, and he knows a little bit about how rats work, too. And he's trying to use his knowledge of human behavior, which he's used so aptly and adeptly to figure out the stock market and make a lot of money in spite of his colorblindness. and vertigo and his big, big building that he lives in

is now turning his hand to a more philanthropic philanthropic. Philanthropic philanthropic end which is saving humanity against the rats.

I hope that the first draft doesn't give too much away so to speak. I hope he keeps some of that information under his hat. Maybe not use specific

Brady or Dickbop friendly terms but rather and not rats specifically because I feel like that's only going to... I mean, people are smart. You know, they see bullshit a mile off and they're going to draw lines between things. But I mean, I'm very interested, you know,

as a plebeian-level human being because we both are currently graded... Here's how he does it because the way that you thread the needle to release a board game to educate the masses on how to prepare for the red oculips without tipping your hand to either Brady the Rat King or Dickbox.

the AI, is you use the thing that humans excel at, which is pattern recognition. You see, robots are very good at calculating things, taking things literally and figuring them out, and what rats are very good at is biological weaponry. They'll bite you, they'll scratch you, they'll fuck you up, they've got the numbers, you know, they'll take you down, they're dirty beasts, they carry a lot of diseases. So what you're going to do is this is why humanity succeeded over the animals so far. We pass on our information orally through story and myth and legend. We transmit it.

We don't go literal. This is why people who interpret the Bible as being literal text, you're an idiot. You're a fool. The earth wasn't literally created in seven, excuse me, seven rotations on its axis. It's madness.

No, no. It's a metaphor, people. You've got to learn. Because if you start taking that shit literally, we're going to reveal ourselves to our enemies. And you know what? Mr. Big knows that. He's a smart man.

A very smart man. And a force to be reckoned with in this forthcoming and ongoing Battle of the Titans. Big time. Hey Guy. Hey Tim. Did you have a shining light for this watch of this film? Tim, it wouldn't be a watch of Sex in the City too

if Guy Montgomery didn't come packed with a shining light. My shining light was, well, it started as a shining light and then became deeply infuriating. But the shining light in itself was the very realistic retelling of the opening bars of a karaoke song with your friend. So you've got the four gals that have just gone up. They're going to sing Iron Woman, Hear Me Raw. And there's confusion as a round of the count that leads them in.

I believe Samantha jumps the gun early. And she's credited by Carrie saying, no, no, no. No, it's Charlotte. No, no, we come in now. I think Charlotte, tuttuts, Carrie explicitly says when they come in. No, but Charlotte is the one he goes early. Oh, well, it's Charlotte, there you go. Anyway, whoever it is, I mean,

You would think you would know by this point Why I was so absorbed in the The accuracy of the storytelling I mean it's exactly like four friends singing karaoke But they then go on to sing an off pitch And off taste No I'm not going to say off taste But just not very good

Version of Iron Woman Hemmy Raw Not two minutes ago A guy belted out What was more than a possible version Of foreigners It feels like the first time He was barely getting the interest of the crowd And you meant to tell me that everyone

And the crowd were like they were captive They just weren't engaging with it The way they do with Iron Woman, Hemmy Raw I know it's film You know, I know you've got to cheat it a little bit But their vision is worse Than his version It feels like the first time

The only thing they do to engage the crowd Is Carrie throws it everybody Which is, I mean, maybe that's the cover-up But I suspect as well That they're doing karaoke with a version Where the lyrics have been slightly Adapted as well

Because poor left Tompkins and we had them on notice this as well. I'm not sure if we brought this up in the episode. Embryo. Embryo. Just an embryo with a long, long way to go. Is that in the song? That's in the song.

I heard it on... I've never heard it before. I heard it on the sound. The soundtrack to our lives on New Zealand radio recently. Good God. Anyway, that was my shining light, Tim. Hey, thank you. So hold on, hold on.

Let me drill down into this. The shining light is the kind of friendship moment of doing karaoke together? Or is it the fact that they get a lot of love in the building? which they deserve or what? It's the acting and storytelling at the beginning of their song when they get it wrong, they're all laughing and they're all nervous, and one of them sort of takes charge

and says, no, no, we're coming now. So it's that moment between them walking on the stage to sing karaoke and them starting to sing karaoke. As soon as they start singing karaoke, the moment's gone. You know? Okay. I haven't said anything for a while

because you Skype cut out a little bit there in the middle I was very articulate Now let's put a I'll assume the best Let's put a pin in this thing Tim Because it's time to go But before we do that

We have a very exciting Non-Rat-based announcement Two in fact The first one is I'd just like to say Thanks again to Josh Peters We've started using his banjo intro now For the podcast Because I think we've entered into it

increasingly sad um period i'm just like i think there's more capturing of the mood of where we're at now um so we'll go out on his one as well josh peters thanks again um for producing that for us completely we didn't ask for that no apropov nothing he's a good guy he is and sorry as you were with um the second big announcement which is i would say cooler yeah uh well uh we are very excited to announce that we will be ending discussions vis-a-vis sex in the city too live from the city from which the franchise and television show was born in New York City baby oh my god I almost fudged it because I made it sound like we were going to go to Abu Dhabi but we are absolutely not going to Abu Dhabi but we did toy with the idea briefly but we decided

not to yeah because we're idiots but it's it just wouldn't the gag of doing it wouldn't quite be enough to serve going all the way to the Middle East. That's quite right. So all we know of, we don't know the venue yet, but all we know is that there will be a live final episode of season two, the worst area of all time in New York City on March the 3rd. So other than that, we can't give you any information because we are not particularly well-organized, gentle folks,

and we have no more information to give. We're also looking at doing a split-bill stand-up show. just because I don't know I don't know what you think Tim I reckon that would be fun that's just I'm sort of talking to you off

well obviously I'm on mic but this is you know you're just looking at me absent mindedly the Skype's coming in and out so I'm just saying if it's going to catch up but yeah no everything you said

I'm going to assume was all good we're heading to the East Coast for the first time of a live show it's going to be great so check off March 3rd in your calendar and your ICAL tick that whole evening off

because you're going to be hanging out with your old mates Timbo and Guy Guy. And it's going to be cool. And we're also toying with the idea of mayhaps doing a little stand-up show while we're there as well, doing half an hour each. So I don't know. If you care enough to want to go and see that and pay small amounts of dollars for it, let us know. I guess.

Yeah, that's a grand idea, Tim. I had no idea we're playing on doing that. I think it's a choice as idea. We should do it. Yeah. More details to come as they come. Otherwise, for fuck sake, could we just... turn this thing off?

Yeah, mate. You go and enjoy the rest of your holiday. And God bless you. God bless your little concepts. DeKal your neckwai. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time.

Season two. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at Yotoplay.com. O-T-O-P-L-A-Y dot com.