The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E50 - Captain Red Shorts

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESGuy and Tim are on a plane. They are nearing the end. Tim is reaching very deeply to find a shining light. Guy is crossing the seasonal streams by introducing Steve Buscemi to Mr Big. The pilot is mic'ed up and NZ superstar Kim Crossman is also on board. Not long to go now folks.Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen, hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more, and no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for

ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com. Y-O-T-O-P-L-A-Y dot com. Hello, and welcome to the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time. Episode number 50. That's right.

How's your father? How's your mother? How are you? How's your family? How are your friends? How are your toes? Now your fingers, we come to you. Ahoyee land lovers broadcasting live from the skies.

33,000 Fed Buff Sea Level on the way from Dallas to Los Angeles, California. Guys, it's been a hell of a day and we can't wait to tell you all about it. But first, I want to say a big thank you to Big Pipe, who is sponsoring the episode today, Big Pipe Broadband, if you need to get online and you're in New Zealand, which if you're a cool person, you're in New Zealand, and if you're alive, you definitely need the internet. So get onto it, NZ. If you aren't online somehow, if you're some sort of hermit

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how advertising will You're welcome. It's been, the stay fairs like it's been about 36 hours long. It has been. Tim, we were at the airport. We were there bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. Friday the 19th of February, 2016. NZT.

NZT. We were at the airport at 6 a.m. To discover our fly been delayed by 2 hours from 8.40 a.m. to 10.40 a.m. Which would be fine. We hung out in the airport. We got a lot of work done. We had some snacks.

We had it, yeah. We got some hash browns. It's when I allow myself a sneaky trip to McDonald's when I'm in the airport before 10.30. We did that. And then we eventually, eventually got to Sydney. We got given a, just for clarity also, we got given, because obviously we were on a connecting flight

from Sydney to L.A. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they had to rearrange that. So it was a flight that we were meant to board at 10.45 a.m. Australian time. And we said, did a check-out lady, Aquinas. We said, it's ambitious, and she said, it's fine. There are all sorts of flights going.

from Sydney to LA, don't worry about it. Oh, the captain's talking at the moment. I feel like we're being overridden by the captain. We're at 32,000 feet. The ride is forecast to be smooth. I'm turning off the fast seatbelt sign. We do a request so that while you're in your seats, please always keep your belts fast and about you

just in case we encounter unexpected rough fare. I'm half expecting him to say that you're not allowed to podcast while flying. I'm expecting a flight attendant to come and ask what the hell I'm doing. The TSA actually thought my recorder was a taser. So, anyway, look, so we're there. We're in Sydney, and long behold, we do miss the bloody flight, of course. Actually, before we get to Sydney... Sorry, to ruin your storytelling.

You go. An exciting development and a devastating development for fans of the podcast. Nice. Third co-host, a known anchor. The knife is gone. The knife got taken off me by bureaucracy. Or just by regular aviation security. There was no need to take it off.

me. But apparently there's some rule that says I'm not allowed a knife. To be fair, I'm going to take that one myself. I definitely shouldn't have had it with my carry-on. That's on me. And I just want to apologize to fans of the knife, and to the knife itself. I want to say

in tribute to the knife that the knife's always been a really hard work, a real joy to work with, real professional on set. And funnily enough, the knife was actually working on a project shortly before its demise, so this won't be the last you see of the knife. It's got a fourth coming web series which i'll um let you guys know when that's out a post humus webby or oscar be a great

way to cap off a fantastic career would it be fair to say that the knife has been to podcasting what heat ledger was to movies uh i wouldn't say that but i wouldn't correct you as how i would approach that statement you'd sort of you'd just ignore the comment yeah you'd let it go past yeah so they took my knife which i was like you know what that's on me but then in sydney they also took my hair product which was like brand new and it cost me about 50 bucks from the barbers and i was stamen about that i was not a happy lad so anyway we get there and then find out that um the bloody trip to l a is not going that flight's not going at all there's no flights from sydney to l a there is one to san francisco which we could then get a connecting flight to which we reply it very well

put us on that to which they reply just kidding there is no flight to san francisco because the plane is faulty. There is, however, a flight to Dallas. And we said, Sydney to Dallas, isn't that the longest flight you can do? And they said, yes, do you want it or not? Tim said, I want my hair product. I want my knife, and I want to go home again. So we did that.

We did that flight. And it was what it was. It was what it was. I watched Spector. It was so long. Yeah, it's a criminally long flight. You had a good sleep, though, way. Yeah, let me put it this way.

We haven't changed anything about our outfits, nor put ourselves under a body of water for over 36 hours. And I would just like to bring in a guest ever so briefly for this episode because we ran into the lovely Kim Crossman at the airport in Dallas, which is just like needle in the haystack situation. And just in light of the fact that we haven't changed an age of... Kim, firstly, hey. Hi, thanks for including me in this.

I appreciate it. Babes, it's a pleasure. It's a distinct honour. I just want you to just like smell the air around you and just see if there's any indication of Timbo having a bloody hell of a day. No, you know what? You've mentioned this multiple times as if you're insecure about the way you smell. You smell great.

It's really sweet. You're real sweetheart. Real pro on set. Thank you, Kim. I am insecure about it, though. I feel stinky. I feel gross. Do you know, I can't remember if I told you this in the way of it,

but when they open the, like if you see the... On a long haul flight, if you watch the cabin staff opening the door, when they disown their door and open it, the cabin staff on the outside of the door will literally leap. Yeah, they'll get the hell out of dodge. They'll leap of the way because the smell. Yeah. It's just been, but we don't notice because we're stewing in it.

Oh, yeah, we're making it. Everyone's a fan of their own brew. When you're in a stew, you can't see the veggies for the meat. But when you're a flight at dinner on the outside of an airplane, you get the hell out of the way. Darn Toten, and see if it's such clarity. So anyway, there we were. after like 25 hours of flying or whatever the hell.

And then so we get to Dallas airport and we're like, oh, okay, let's slam a beer. So we have... People will be like, let's at least get out of it. Let's at least if we're in Dallas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll at least be able to go to Dallas and just like visit the city a little bit. What I'd like everyone at home to do is get out a map, a physical map,

and look at where Auckland is and look at where L.A. is. And get a ruler and just draw a lovely straight line between Auckland and L.A. And now... I've got to say... Sorry. With your red pen connect Auckland to Sydney on the ruler and then Sydney to Dallas. Look how far past Dallas is in LA and also look at how you just fly directly back over. The sole silver lining to this inextricably long journey was the welcome announcement from the Qantas pilot when we got on to go from Sydney to Dallas.

It was like I thought I was in a candid camera show. It was so perfect. the thickest Australian. Most beautiful Aussie accent I've ever heard this guy jumps up

and he's so passionate, happy, optimistic he's like oh good-day everybody, welcome to the flight today.

It's captain speaking. Look, we got a bit of volcanic activity in a bloody big storm up there so we're just going to try and go around the side of that. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that.

We'll handle that. We're going to be heading east over the ocean and just continue on. Got my co-pilot Russell Crow here. He literally, there was a member of the flight crew called Russell Crow. But he didn't represent it. I was losing my shit.

So that was a beautiful thing. I don't know who that guy was, but Flight QF 144 going from Sydney to Dallas. Yesterday, oh my God, whoever you are, you're a legend. Hey, seeing as we spent over sort of three hours in three different international airports, Auckland, Sydney and Dallas, which of the three would you recommend? If you wanted Tom Hanks in the terminal type situation. I would actually like hometown advantage, Auckland. Yeah?

Yeah. Oh wait, Sydney's good, but it's quite big, is the only thing. And the bit we were in was grubby ass. It's under Reno. We're on this gross bit. Do you know what we got for our 24-hour delay from Qantas? $20 of vouchers. Big ups to yourself.

Quantiff. Yeah, that was... Thanks for paying me $20 for a day of my life. They had me spewing because everything that's happened really has been their fault. Like we play by the rules except for the whole knife thing. At any rate. So there we are in Dallas after this inextricably long amount of flying and we're like, hey, you know what would be a real treat after we'd call down with a beverage?

Because we asked the information desk, can we go to the city to visit and come back? Like, you guys do not have enough time. And we're like, very well. So we had a beer... Sex in the city to... who it is. And decided to watch the bloody movie.

We've now watched Sex and the City 2 in another exciting locale. Fort Worth was happy to be there. I wasn't happy to watch it. In fact, this was like, this was a punisher

this watch. This was a real punch in the guts. I was like, it was for the emotional range to pick from, way more angry than sad this time. I hit you a couple of times just in the leg.

You were hitting me in the leg and I looked at you and started smiling and said, do it hard, and you're obliged. And there was this lovely, elderly Texan lady, one seat over to you to the left, who you couldn't see if it was just watching the whole thing transpired with absolute disgust in her eyes.

Because she didn't have the context. How do you explain to her? You don't. That's what I've learned about this podcast. People are like, what are you guys up to? You just go, you know what? Nothing. We don't have the time to explain what's happening here.

No, matter. So, yeah, I agree to him. It was a punishing watch. there were a few things I thought were enjoyable in this screening. Please hit me. Look, there's a guy, there's a new guy in town who I'm upset we haven't found earlier. Captain Red Shorts. Captain Red Shorts.

When the Australian rugby team show up for a swim up for their sweaty practice match, which, by the way, I'm still not co-signing. There's no way the Rugby World Cup qualifying tournament is happening in Abu Dhabi. Anyway, there's, I first spotted it as a continuity extra. Red shorts, white polo shirt, like Camel Panama hat, just walking through frame, left, right and center, willy-nilly. He's going left, we cut back, he's going right, but he's in the same position. That's not a continuity era.

That is a strong character choice by Captain Red Shorts. He is discombobulated, what's disoriented? It's an offer. It is, it's a strong offer. And the DOP has said yes and each time. He's sending the shit out of him. And the thing is, it's like, none of the other extras are really playing ball. Like, if I was there at the pool, not even as an extra, just as a person,

if I was in this situation, at a pool, at a hotel pool, and a guy's just wandering around, short, stained in blood, crisp white shirt, made of Teflon. Yeah. I'd stop him, and I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. What's going on? Do you need a hand? All these people are...

So, if you were one of the cast members on the movie, one of these extras, would you actually jump in and start doing some scene work with him and try and play out his storyline, be a supportive character? Finding your light. Yeah. I love that. What would you do? I think the same thing.

I absolutely think the same thing. I like to think that when the time calls for it, I'm okay and support. I can support, you know? I want to be able to support people. And that guy's just made such a great offer, and I want to be able to support them. What's upsetting is the 49 weeks prior to this, he's been working just as hard. I know. But Captain Redshort salute you, like, with the highest order.

I can't throw my hand. off of my forehead hard and fast enough to show my gratitude to what you've been bringing thanklessly for the last 50 weeks brother you're a champion you're a trooper you're a real national treasure a real pleasure to work with a real joy real pride work he was actually a real proud of work with uh so i really enjoyed that also had a few thoughts like at the end so care she always comes what happens every week she always comes back from ubw right big's always gone except for that one week oh no wait she did that as well yeah yeah yep but one week all like i was thinking today what would be really good is she comes back she comes home the bed's ruffled the tv's missing she's like

something is a miss here she goes into the wardrobe big has plugged on the tv in the wardrobe and it's just jerking it to my big fat Greek wedding just so hard there'd be something i haven't seen before in there enter into the bedroom he's jacking it to my big fat Greek wedding because that's That's Aiden. Did you know that? Oh, yeah, it is too. That's right. So it's like a real meta-jerk off.

They're doing the sequel to that soon. Wow. Is that what's triggered that off in your head? Did you know that? Yeah. My girlfriend also watches my big fat Greek wedding pretty much once a week. Really? She has a podcast about it.

She just really likes the film. She's a big fan. God knows why. I haven't seen it. Yeah, I don't think I've seen it either. But it looked fun. Okay, well, that's definitely, yep, a good offer from Captain Red Shuitts and a great offer.

from Guy Montgomery. Just ideas. You know, I've got all these ideas to get out there. Did you have any ideas this week, Tim? Well, look, before we get into the ideas, I want to say my Shining Light, because I know if we get it otherwise. So my Shining Light is actually the typeface

that they've gone with on the invitation, which is at the wedding scene. And the most ham-fisted approach to storytelling anyone's ever seen in a big budget film like this, carry, it's like a fucking triple whammy. we know we're at a wedding everyone in the paid audience realizes what that entails

and what's coming next but we have to smash you over the fucking head with a bit of narration driving you through to the next bit and also literally showing you a card that has the order of events that you'll be witnessing some of on screen

always frustrating never a good thing to see on that and they haven't changed it I've told them every week I've shouted at that scream who do you I've screamed at the screen but at any rate the typeface that they've gone with is actually quite tasteful

and kind of like just the right weight and it's got I think that I don't know the technical term I'm no typographer but the curly bits cursive yeah I think there's a word for serif I think it's like just right you know that's all Stampton because Anthony didn't have anything to do with the wedding prayer yeah that Stanford would have

like Stanford like blew a bunch of money he just hired some designer it's not like he did it if you were doing a wedding you pour it and it's that level you pour over the typeface on you No, Stanford's just a money man. He's just a money man. He's just financing this thing. No way. He's got creative control. He didn't get told to wear all white.

No, no, no. But he just, he was like, listen, here's what I'm thinking. Snow Queen exploded. Now here is $2 million, make it happen. You've got to give some credit to him. I feel like he was hands on a real groomzilla. Yeah, but it's too granular. I don't think he would have got into that detail. He's better than that.

He's a project manager, you know. He's a very effective leader. Do you want to know my shining line? Always. So when the nanny, the Irish nanny, and actually we've got a point that we need to address. Yes, I know. Address after this. But when the nanny shows up and she's taking, she takes Lily off Charlotte's hands

when the four girls are having brunch the morning after the wedding, Charlotte says to her, do you have the sunscreen. And Aaron, the nanny, who's the actor's name I do not know, she just gives this beautiful sort of acknowledging and simultaneously acknowledging and dismissive looking of course I have the sunscreen I'm just doing my god damn joke I know exactly my and she even says yeah like it's sort of like don't condescending me in front of your friends

yeah I'm the best of the best that's why you hired me I don't get paid enough for you to diss me in front of these gals do you see over there that Samantha Jones of Samantha Jones publicity so if you could not I'd be great they're losing a lot of money right there They've just got this big crazy glass office that overseas, wait, what is it? Time Square. Time Square, yes. Big crazy glass office, no idea what's happening.

But speaking of the nanny, because we've been revisiting grown-ups too recently. And here's why. Yeah. We have had to, so, hey guys, you remember that time when we wrote this script for grown-ups to from memory? And we did a table read in our hometown of Auckland to raise funds for our first. LA trip and we got our mates to put it on and table read with us and so what we've done is

two awesome dudes who are now friends with in LA, Benz Acker and Blacker from the... Throwing Adventure Hour. No, what's the company called again? The players of it are called the Work Juice Players. But the podcast is called The Throwing Adventure Hour. Yes, go check it out.

Shout out to those guys. The Ben's were like... Hold on, I'm going to order a beer. Okay, go for... Can you order me one too? I was talking to both mics. Oh, do you have to pay for it on this one? Why were we not paying before? I guess because it was international.

That makes sense. You keep going. Do you do drinks? Oh, okay, thank you. Thanks. Two carts. Hey? Big operation.

Two different carts. One food, one beverage. It's not, yeah, it's a big plane. There's two aisles and three. Hey, anyway, guys, so look, that script exists. Ben Ack was like, boys, do you want to put that on in L.A.? And we're like, of course. And he's like, okay, send us the script.

We're like, hold fire, good buddy. because when we put it on in Auckland, the actual production was a fucking nightmare. He actually said, do you want to send us the script? And I said, absolutely. He's like, do you want to do an edit on it? And I was like, no, as is, whereas. And he was like, I always like to do an edit on it.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, we're not really those guys. And he's like, how long is it? Three hours. When we did the table read in Auckland, you had a fucking meltdown. I don't even know if you'll remember this because it's like PTSD, but you flipped out, dude. You just started screaming.

people because we were in there for so long in this packed barely air-conditioned room with it was like 150 people in attendance community center and we got we got to about the two and half hour mark and you were like look enough is enough you try because there was kind of no shortcuts we just had to get through the script but you were just screaming at pace all of the stage direction oh it was a sight to behold real real joy to work with guy you're a real pro on set we want a bottled down version of that a whittled down so we're trying to pare it down and anyway, that's a very long way of saying that we've been revisiting that script and what

struck me is that they both suffer from the same lazy storytelling motif or trope if you will. A lead character of just wrapping a storyline by making someone gay. Like that's it. They've got, both of them have a character either Adam Sandler

You are so focused on getting a beer you are like... Or is either Adam Sandler or Charlotte, but both of them have insecurities about their relationship with, you know, unknown entities that someone's going to come into their marriage and fuck their bay. And then the fix of it both times is like, oh, and then everything worked out because, get this.

The attractive person we're all terrified of was gay. And they do it right at the end of the movie, and it's so lazy and, like, it's fine if they want to conclude the storyline like that. But there's a way to do that. They don't right at the end, they just slap it out there like, hey, don't worry everyone. Oh, yeah, and by the way, they're gay. That's fine. Oh, very, very bad storytelling.

at any right yeah that's a little parallel and there's also like one of the final lines delivered by big in this whole movie is i'm a grown-up carry or is because i'm a grown-up and it just it's last few weeks man has really stood out to me it's like has something happened and the fact that mildly cyrus is the cameo in this one and patty schwartz was the cameo in the grown-ups too it's like there's a lot of things maybe we're just getting nostalgic in our old age i don't think so man i think the universe The universe brought us to sex in the city too. And do you want to know something after 50 weeks? I think it's time we'd recognise that and appreciated that. Well, we're certainly acknowledging it.

The universe brought us to this movie. There's a reason we're doing what we're doing, man. And it's only just occurred to me now. I feel like Joan of Arc must have felt when God talks around and said, you can do it, bro. You can do it. Take him down. God called Joan of Arc, bro.

Yeah, hard out. He's very gender unspecific with his platitudes and his, Of everyone, actually, God, he believes the most that sexuality is fluid. Yeah. And gender is a spectrum. Absolutely. It's up to you. It's written in the Bible.

Gender is like fashion. It's fun. You just pick something. Pick something for the day. You want to be a girl? You're a girl. Guess what? Who cares?

It's your call. So at any rate. The card is getting dangerously close. Look, I had another idea. You're so focused on it. I kind of want to, like, throw a spanner in the works and just keep you focused while it goes past to see you flip out. No, you're looking at it. This is going off the rails fast.

I've got an idea. We're thirsty boys. Replace the word sparkle in the movie Sex and City 2 with mayonnaise. So whenever they say Sparkle in the script. I thought of it in the last thing. When Mr. Big goes to carry it because he can do the ring as like a mere culver. He goes, how's that for a little sparkle? And she goes, there's a lot of sparkle.

It's a lot of mayonnaise. How's that for a little mayonnaise? Hey, do you think you could get Biggin' night tickets for the event tonight? I just feel like we need a little mayonnaise in our relationship. ship. It's like, I get takeout and TV guy. Bank of Madrid Lady, she gets mayonnaise guy. Oh my God. Do you reckon big's a fingering?

Do you reckon he fingers the mayonnaise? Big time. I reckon he, with Steve B. Simey, they get together and they just fingered the mayonnaise all night. Why don't we just blow some dust off the book and that big old book of that fabled, big old leatherbound book full of ramblings and ideas.

Bring it off the shelf. Give it a wipe. Crack it open because guess what? We've landed on the mayonnaise chapter. It's not just a page, folks. There is an entire chapter in this book dedicated to mayonnaise. Most of it is just, like, transparent pages, caked in mayonnaise. One of them is just a page of him and Steve Busemi, and it's done in like a comic book-style thing where there's 12 panels split up,

and it's them just having a day with mayonnaise together. They're doing all sorts of stuff. In the first panel, they're raising it like a child. Like, they're cradling a jar of mayonnaise like it's an infant. And the second one, they're in a tree house, and they're just hanging out with mayonnaise, like playing cards with it, and they're kind of kits. And another one, they're sort of looking despondent and exhausted in the kitchen.

Hey there. Keep going. They're looking exhausted. Okay. The drink scouts coming back, don't worry. They look exhausted in the kitchen, and the mayonnaise is, like, sort of yelling at them. And it's the trials and tribulations of parenting. Here we go.

Oh, guys. Get two Budwisers. Hi there. Yeah. Two Budwisers. Thank you. Thank you. Are we getting bud?

I like that they're not, they're not acting like we're recording. Yeah. It's very laid back. It's just we're in America, baby. Everyone's making something here. Where you run into Kim Crossman at the airport and that's just norms, you know? Things happen here.

Dreams are made. So beyond being an exciting comic book panel. Yeah. There's also other ideas. Like pretty much Steve and Mr. Big have been taking a lot of exciting meetings in his big windowed office with no keyboards about, how to bring fingering mayonnaise into the mainstream, be it through a TV channel, a zine,

maybe some sort of competitive sport, but pretty much what they're saying is, what have we got in common? We love to finger mayonnaise. Absolutely. What do the mainstream not enjoy fingering mayonnaise? How do we find the market equilibrium between these two disparate points?

You give them what they want through mayonnaise. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. It's my friend here. So the way that you do that is, as well do you want me to pop your trade out tell you what I've had really bad like with my flying experiences recently

in terms of the person in front of me taking the lean back feature for all it's worth I think you're talking slightly louder than you think you are fair enough like the feature's there but yeah I've got big legs it's always uncomfortable I'm sorry that it's happened but there's nothing for it

mate um hey so this minus thing the way that thank you very much oh yeah do pay wave cool Thank you. That's a big result. The way that you combine the power of mayonnaise with consumer demand is through automobiles

because whilst there's been a lot of talk about us moving to electric and in fact there was a doggot called Who Killed the electric car that came up many years ago. Not a lot of people know this, but Steve Busemi in addition to being a firefighter back in the day, came up with a schematic for an engine that would be powered on mayonnaise. Thank you very much. Mr. Bigg with his business now, so it's just the man to pick up this, dusty old plan of the mayonnaise-powered vehicle and get it into the mainstream, get it into mass production.

I know that you are purely a vessel through which this idea is currently traveling, Tim, but I put it to you that while obviously there are problems vis-a-vis sustainability and electric vehicles, those being to, you know, assemble the vehicle expends as much power as you wind up saving. Yeah. Surely the production of mayonnaise and, you know, it's egg-heavy base. Oh, do it's. You've got a lot of moving parts, a lot of.

overheads, I don't understand quite the economics of how this is going to work. It's because you don't appreciate how efficient the mayonnaise car is. So, like, you know, a jar of best foods? What's that running? About 500 grams? Yeah. That'll power a car for 1,000 kilometres or about 700 miles or so. That's good, man.

That's good mileage. That's really good mileage. This sells itself. Are the government, the American government, afraid of this as a product? Absolutely. I mean, there's the established energy pedagogy, if I'm using that word correctly, you know, it would be thrown on its head. The paradigm would change.

The whole game would change. And so I missed a big... This would destabilise the Middle East because suddenly oil is not as important. America's economy would be turned on its head. It'd be madness. But if you control the mayonnaise, this becomes the new, you know, the new oil. So anyone is looking at investing. Best Foods is probably a pretty good buy right now.

It is my hot tip of the week on the stock market. I've brought you by Mr. Big and Steve Busimi. Speaking of Steve, I want to check in on our Steve. Our boy, Steve. I would Steve spell mayonnaise? That's what I want to know. Mayonase. Can I have language of origin?

I believe it's French. French. F-R-E-W-W. French You fucking got me on that one Well played Steve You're a dicey Dicey man

Thank you Now if you could please Take me seriously I would like to announce I'm running for office Oh what office President of the United States of America Holy shit

Current cycle or 2020 Current cycle Yes The right Yes He's a stable candidate Oh my God Yes a thousand times

Someone with the people can get behind Donald Trump is running on personality, not platform. Yep. I've got a lot of exciting policy ideas. How do you feel about Hillary, though? I'm not afraid of Hillary. You reckon you'll be better than Hillary?

I think I'll be different from Hillary. What about Bernie? Bernie. I got a lot of respect for Bernie. We all do. I ran into him on spelling, on the spelling scene in the 80s and the late 70s. And I had a lot of interesting ways of spelling words like tsunami and Richter. but I think Bernie comes from your stomping ground as well

He's from Brooklyn Yeah Yeah he is He's made good for himself The whole neighbourhood is very proud He's done great Can I ask you what do you think about Jeb Bush

As a candidate Is a mess Well spoken Steve Thank you for joining us It's been a pleasure Real joy working with you My pleasure Real pro on set that's Steve

Real What else from the film for you this week, Tim? It was, as you say, it was a punisher. I do wonder when the last time you watched it. I thought you were sort of putting a pin in the thought like that. Oh, yeah, I guess that is all. Oh, okay, before I forget, though, here's something important. Oh, wait, yeah, no, I was just going to say that actually I feel closer to Samantha with this watch

because she gets her ointments taken off here, her hormones. And that happened to me at the airport today as well. So I'm like, hey, I feel you, girl. I feel you. I didn't, all those other weeks, but now I feel you. That's all. I wasn't really empathizing with anyone. But I was in real life, and I'm your friend.

You went empathizing with me? Or do you mean in the film? In the film, I do empathize with you. In this hellish bed that we've made to lie in together. Once a week, we climb into bed together. The sleep's almost up, though. That's what I'm excited about. It was almost breakfast time.

Fuck, it was a bad one this week, though, eh? I know we say that every week, but it is true every week. Full disclosure, though, we did, so we ran into Kim when there was about 10 minutes left on the film, and the likelihood of running into a friend in Dallas-Fort Worth Airport is solo, or Fort Worth, Dallas. What is it? Fort Worth. Dallas-Fort Worth. It's so low that we paused the film.

We had a big catch-up. We were leaving it very fine, so we sort of boarded the plane, waited for a take-off, got the screen out, watched the last 10 minutes, and it rolled straight into it from there. And those last 10 minutes, I suddenly gave the film, I was giving the film a lot more credit, a lot more leeway. I felt like maybe the film was being self-referential.

Like the way, for instance, the movie poster, that terrible movie poster, he flies all the way up to Abu Dhabi to shoot. Hard of the desert. And when they should do a big lingering shot on it at the end, I was like, I feel like they're doing that as a gag

because they know it's a bad movie poster and they know how ridiculous it is to fly someone all the way over to make the movie poster. And then, oh, there's another one. So you think the film is gained. sentience. I just thought maybe when I was watching the last 10 minutes and I think I had this with grown-ups too as well sometimes where I was thinking you're like, is the joke on me? Yes. Has it been on me the whole time?

Oh, what is it? It was so, oh it was when Miranda says if we don't get there in time we bump from first class. I was like that is like that's referential. That's like... Like it's so on the nose that you think that it can't possibly be surface level. Yeah, I don't think that it's the... rude and like galsh joke that I've read it as for the previous. It's garish isn't it? Especially

considering this movie came out in 2010 people were struggling. I think it's like so such a ludicrously small problem and them addressing it like it's a big problem. Therein lies the comedy and they did that on purpose. It is very, if you view it through that lens it's very funny but the problem is that the movie has set it up so you're supposed

to be on the side of these women like they're your friends and they can't possibly be on your side because honestly the movie sets up as the big trouble at the end you know this is the heightened stakes this is the big problem this is the all has lost moment as there is

there is the potential that these gals are flying home and coach God for fucking bid which is hilarious you know we're measured against we've just done a 30 hour day and coach it's fine it's actually really great

it's all good you hang out with your buddy cheers mate here's to flying coach here's to flying coach Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed.

Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen, hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com. Y-O-T-O-P-L-A-Y dot com. The guy, I don't know if it's a... It's a real cold beer, right?

I don't know if it's a rumor or not, but the guy who made IKEA apparently insists on flying in coach. Good on him. I'll bet Bernie flies in coach. No way. I think he actually does. Presidential...

Nah, you can't. Oh, not anymore. Not anymore, but like back in the... Previously, yeah. Previously on Bernie Sanders, the senator. I'm flying coach I'm flying I am I am sick of being part of the

1% that are in the front I don't want to fly the front 1% I would like to be with the 99% in the rest of the plane That is classic burns Certainly as Burr-Bap-Bub-Burney Bap-Bah-Bah

B'Bah B'bba-B-B-Bah Skipa-Skip-A-skip-A-skip-A-Skip-A-Sand-Sand-Sand-S Sandus Sandus Sanders. First thing I noticed this week. Fitty weeks. There is a silhouette, a powerful silhouette cast on the window behind him, which says coffee shop. Not notice it before, might not notice it again.

It was definitely there this week. Why? We had the screen very close to us this time, a lot closer than normal. Normally we look at it on like a computer monitor or a tally. We're a couple meters back, but today we were looking on a tablet and it was right up in our groves. Right up in our face. And coffee guy, he's looking down for a lot of the time, right? His neck and coffee is looking down.

Yeah. Previously we were speculated. Maybe he's reading the culture section of the newspaper. Maybe he's making a journal entry. He's working on his stencils. All right? He's got a new tag. His tag is coffee shop.

He's tagged the cafe. Yes. And he's like, it reeks. He's got the cheapest spray paint. It absolutely honks. All right. Brady's got a whiff of it. His fangs are coming out.

The guy's like, I'm getting out of here before shit goes down. This might be the last of the lead base paint. They found somewhere to put it. and spray cans to give it to teenagers because teenagers who are graffiti stuff don't complain. It's a government conspiracy. They're trying to kill off anyone

who, like, yeah, they're trying to get rid of a small crime by putting lead paint and spray paint. Anyway, so coffee guy pretty much has been working on his stencils night and day, day and night. And he's finally got his first one down. Coffee shop. I do think that it's a little bit obvious. There's not a lot of hidden identity to it.

I mean, this guy's not all around town. Now, I love it, though. Because it's like, it's so brash and bold and brave. In other words, they've begun with a B. He's out there and he's going, this is who. They really caught me off guard. He's going, this is who I am. This is me.

I'm out here. I'm a coffee man. But my identity is. Have we done that one before? Coffee shop, what? Coffee man. Drinking all the coffee. Oh, didn't someone make that for us?

Oh, yeah, they did. God, we've got to hunt that down. Hey, whoever made that for us. Whenever I hear Rocket Man, the line where it's like, because I'm a coffee man, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, something alone. I always hear, da-da-da-da-da-ta-ton. Who's the host of America's place, Tom Videos.

It's going to be a sad day when he passes away, Tom Bedron. He's one of those ones where you never think about it. And, God, I hope this doesn't happen because last time I said this, it was about David Bowie on the podcast, and like a couple days later he passed away. Yeah, you have the kiss of death. It was weird. But Tom Bergeron, is that he says his last name?

That dude's a hero, man. It's like all these people who, we've seen in our lives since we were little kids and grown up with, but haven't kind of paid enough attention to them in their careers? You feel like that about the host of America's phone film videos? AFV is an institution and he has been captaining

that ship for many, many years now and I just think we all need to like tip our hats to him. Before he dies, because that's the thing. The tragedy is these people die and then there's a great groundswell of love and outpouring of goodwill towards them. Tanya West has a good

lyric about that from his first album. him. The lyric is, people never get the roses when they can still smell him. That's a different version of Kanye West, back in 2002, I believe. I'm worried about Kanye these days. The dude legit needs some help, I think, at the moment. He is 50% more influential

than anyone has ever been dead or alive. According to Kanye West. Oh boy. Oh, boy. Steve could teach him a thing or two. You know what? Sometimes I just wish that you could kind of... This is going to sound a little mean and a little mean spirited, but I kind of want to chuck Kanye in the ring with Dickbot and Brady just to

just to humble him a little bit. That would be very humbling. Do you know what I'd like to see? Tommy Kavanaugh in the ring. Tommy Kavanaugh Lennie Fader's bully from grown-ups too. They're going to have Baxets on Baxets. He was a Royd Freak. Steve Austin.

Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yeah, that'd be a hell of a fight. I mean, look, firstly, Tommy Kavanaugh or, okay, here's how the fight matchups go. Tommy Cavana versus Stone Cold Steve Austin Stone Cold is going to win Yes Versus Tommy Cavanet

But Stone Cold will lose To either Dick Bot or Brady Like they will win handily Against Stone Cold The ultimate question Of course it is Of course it is Who's going to win between Brady and Dickbott

I don't have the answer for that I suspect in hand-to-hand combat I suspect that Dickbott Definitely has an advantage there Because he's non-biological But the thing is it was never about hand-to-hand that's never been what this is about

hand-to-hand because it would never come to that well in hand-to-hand presumably Brady isn't flanked by his oh no he would maybe he'd be wearing a cloak and it would just look like a regular cloak and then they would sort of come to life and scurry up

I feel like hand-to-hand Brady's strategy would be to whimper and cry like you know he'd play the young kid angle draw Dickbot in he's a robot but he's got emotions Brady used, kid cry. Yeah. It's super effective.

But Dickbot is a robot, so does he have those same human foibles? You've got to wonder about Dickbot's emotional maturity. It's just a, what's it called? Like, a... Do you think having emotions is a foible? No. I don't. I think it's what makes us human, and that's what we're all fighting for.

It's what we're fighting to protect against Dickbot and his army of electricity. He's still cogs and knobs when you boil it down, you know? He makes a good argument, but it's all based on ones and zeros. That's the thing. He's an artificial intelligence. Also, the theory this week that, because the teacher, while Brady, he controls the rats, the teacher calls it a mouse maze when he was. And she makes a real, she so's a button and that word.

A mouse maze. She's definitely in Brady's pocket. Brady's definitely told her to call it a mouse maze to throw everyone off the scent. Right, right, right, right. That makes sense to me. Yeah. That what you just said wouldn't make sense to all people living in the world, but it makes sense to me. We are speaking at this point a pretty stupid and limited language, or not limited, but in terms of people who understand...

It's like twin speak, isn't it? It's like to be a twin. Are you familiar with that? Twin speak? No. It's like this thing that some twins make up a babbly language to themselves, and apparently they can understand each other. I believe that. There was this weird case, and it's like, I don't know why it popped up recently,

but I remember hearing about it ages ago, and I've read some stuff online about it. These two twins, where they had that, like, they were super insulated, like, the tight-ass, and they had, like, a twin language, and I don't think they talked to anyone else, and then they both decided that one of them needed to die, and so one of them just died, and then the other one just went on and lived, like, a super normal life, but there's been, like, quite a lot written about them, and... Understandably, that's... super weird

yeah it is yeah definitely I always thought a twin would bring out the best in me I think I'm operating why 80% capacity oh to like challenge you

yeah quite competitive by nature a twin would have just I've got a weird feeling this isn't the first time we've talked about this but it's I don't think we've done on the podcast

it's tricky to remember in this haze of the project it's right we actually we discussed this recently in an interview where in people like When people reference sort of the backhand log of like Brady v. Stigbaw, or when they're trying to mention a specific idea from Big's Big Book of Ideas or anything.

Or a coffee guy adventure. Or a coffee guy adventure. The information, if you think of it like writing an essay or cramming for an essay wherein you're working so hard on the essay in the moment that you sort of, you download. You're sort of just an intermediary between the internet where you're getting all the information and the word document where you are writing all the information. And you are the vessel through which the information passes. You had a good analogy and you've ruined it

Because we're not copying from something It's just like Processing it as well It's just It's just it's more like a fire Baby we're a firework Right We go we we

We rise up into the sky And then we explode And then we're gone But someone's taking a video of it Which is what the podcast is We don't watch the videos So we're not really familiar with what's happening We're just the firework that goes up

That is a good one Mine was like when you hand in the essay you've been cramming Yeah you are handing over all the information that you had all the information's on the bit of paper and once you hand it over it's gone and the same way once we get to the end

of a coffee guy adventure we've offloaded the information there was actually a phenomenal I didn't read the whole thing but blog post on medium dot com about this last week of a guy who did a PhD in mathematics five years ago and decided to reread it to see if he could understand it

he could not make heads or tails of what he'd written and he was just basically saying like, why are we doing this? Like, is there any point in me doing a doctorate of I, myself who wrote it, cannot understand what the fuck I was talking about five years later? Bloody good stuff.

Food for thought. Nourishing food for thought. Absolutely. And I feel like there's, you know, that's us. That's us. Will we understand what the fuck we were on about five years from now? Probably not. But that's okay. It's going to be a hard one to explain.

I'm okay with it. Yeah, like it's got a, It's got a place in our lives. Much like the PhD in mathematics, it's about furthering the human race. And I feel like in our own small way, we're making a contribution. I don't know about that,

but we're certainly doing it anyway. Look, that's all we have time for this week. It's been a real joy broadcasting to you on American Airlines flight 2949 or something, Dallas to LAX. We've got an expected landing time of 8.15 p.m. And we are doing a live event in conjunction with the Work Juice players at the Cinnah family.

It's almost sold out. on Tuesday, February 23rd. You've got to come to that, guys. You've got to get tickets to that. If you want to find the link, just go to Worcary World Time Facebook page. All the information is there. And then we're also doing our finale.

Still, some tickets available at the Bell House in New York on March. You've got to come to that event, guys. It's going to be a hell of a time. Tell your kids, tell your wife we're performing those shows. Bring your dog. I don't know what the Bell House's regulations on that is, but if you're in New York City and you're a fan of the podcast,

buy a ticket. bring your dog that's right what's one more little bitch with an attitude right that's from the movie folks hopefully you don't know that

never true word spoken also yeah as an idea I'm actually I'll tell you next week oh you tease you little tease you thanks again to BigPipe we'll catch you guys online

oh and we'll do a mini episode sometimes soon as well because holy shit there's some gold you guys are chatting some real gold out on the facie and the twitters and the reddits and the whatnot So, anyway, this is Timbett signing off and Guy Montgomery saying,

Go fuck yourself. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. Season two. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver.

My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com. Y-O-T-O-P-L-A-Y.com.