The Worst Idea Of All Time - REPLAY: S02E52 - The End

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

THESE EPISODES WERE RECORDED 10 YEARS AGO, PLEASE FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSESLive from The Bell House in New York City, home to the Sex and The City gals, Guy and Tim are putting a bow on it in front of a live crowd. The knife is replaced, the Brady v Dickbot fight is ending. It's truly the end of an era. Listen with love in your hearts and hope for the lads as they briefly rest before setting out for one more final season.Support the boys on their modern-day adventures at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, friends. As we put the finishing touches on our next exciting adventure for you, we thought it was the perfect time to replay our second season of the podcast where we watch Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, hot off the back of the tragic news that and just like that will not be returning. Please enjoy. We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further to Dubai, a city that's a city that. everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers, and epic desert adventures, to museums that showcase the future, not just the past. Choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai. Book on emirates.ca. Today. Looking for your perfect place to call home, Lethbridgeland is

shaping the future of our city with incredible communities like crossings, riverstone, and watermark. Each neighborhood is designed with innovation, passion, and responsibility to enrich your life today and strengthen Lethbridge for tomorrow. From vibrant urban hubs to serene, coolly views, there's a community waiting for you. Discover the lifestyle you've been dreaming of in a Lethbridgeland community. Visit lethbridgeland.ca and take the first step towards your new home today. It's the worst idea. It's the worst idea. Yeah.

Season two is over. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm the bellhouse. We did it. We all did it. We did most of it. we literally just finished a lesser set of podcast hosts would do you the injustice of watching this at a convenient time like earlier in the morning

and then sort this out but we literally just had the end credits roll oh it feels good it was so so good my name is Tim Bat I'm Guy Montgomery you don't need to applaud that 90% of you already knew

and 10% of you are here because friends told you it's a weird one it feels like I don't know if you have those people in New York who walk around with weights on their wrists and ankles you know like they're exercising and they wear

like weights here and on their ankles have you seen these people you have these people it feels like we've just had the weights take it we're unshackled my sole reference point for that is Dragon Ball Z because I think doesn't Goku do that in the hyperbolic time chamber he waits up

and then he trains with King Kai? It's been a cool decade or so. But we are now unshackled and ready to go super sane on your asses, people. I'm looking around the crowd, and there's beautiful people. You guys are very pretty. We've got a Brady the Rat King right in the front. That's awesome.

Love that crown. Jacket is not as semeny as I would have anticipated. But you've done so, so well. So good on you for dressing up. And a guy maybe just dressed in a course. suit or maybe he is coffee guy it's amazing the tooth's got a coffee cup

I love that I also love the attention to detail that there is nothing in the cup just like coffee guy oh there's there's beer in the cup so even cooler what do you guys want to talk about

some people want to talk about some people want to talk about grown-ups too. You can mail that request to a fucking year ago. You idiot. So listen, we took notes on this watch, the final one, to make sure we didn't screw anything up.

You also, we should address this. Well, yeah, I didn't tell about our stuff that this was happening. I just came out brandishing a knife. So this is not the knife. The knife is gone, I'm so sorry to say. And for all of those who are like, about to wage war on the TSA, it was actually

Sydney where I lost it. It was the Australian security apparatus that took him. Also, don't wage war. It's super valid, the confiscation. He's fucking idiot. Walks into an airport with a full blade and his carry-on.

And they take it off him and you give him sympathy? I was genuinely surprised as well. In the cold light of day, it's like, yeah, that's what happens in the airport, but at the time I was like, this would be fine. This would be totally fine. But this knife looks very similar to the original knife. I tried to get one that would look

as similar as possible, and I think I've nailed it. But I got him at a market here in New York City. It's American made. This is like the spiritual successes of the knife, so I feel good about him. He's a good knife, and long may he rain.

Do you know how I would like to start the podcast this evening, Tim? I would like to acknowledge now that it's done, now that Sex and City Tour is done, we made about a year ago to the day a tremendous error. Honestly, one of the biggest and most regrettable mistakes of my young life. Go on. Tell the people how we came to choose it, guy.

It's a fun story. I love the story. Yeah, so when we were, when we were finished, finishing the first season of the podcast, we knew we wanted to do it again, which sounds odd, but, you know, we knew, we sort of, we thought it was, it was fun. It was fun that people liked it and we wanted to do it again. And we were trying to figure out the best possible way to, to reveal to the next people what we would do. And we were actually looking at our downloads. We've got a few listeners in Dubai. Shout out to those people. We never found out who those people were No, we didn't They're the genesis of this whole season They're the beginning of the problem

And And we were like, okay, well what's There's that movie I don't know what We were just like Oh, wasn't the second Sex and City 2 set there And we researched it And the first thing we saw

We saw two things We saw it Because you know When you Google something for a movie On the side by You get the IMDB or the Wikipedia And it's always got the movie poster In the runtime

And there was Carrie Bradshaw Next to 2 hours and 30 minutes and we were like... Yes, yes. Yes, yes. But also, that image is terrifying because it's Carrie Bradshaw in the desert, so she's very much outside of her natural environment

and photoshopped her with one inch of her existence. It's like a totally flat image. There's not a single crease or human feature on her face. It's real scary. And then, and we were like, oh, wouldn't it be so funny if you, like, had a retrospective video that would pop up? I haven't made one this year.

I'm so sorry, guys. just couldn't be bothered. I'd like the whole season and then that would pop up and we experimented with a couple different movie posters and that one came but that was real early on eh it was sort of like being really hung over

and going out for breakfast and looking at the menu and being like that that's the meal and then the meal arrives and you're like this is not even beyond that it would be like being hung over and walking around the city and being like oh yeah we could go to that cafe

or that cafe Denny's classic let's fucking go there and then you do and you order like the waffles and daquery which is its own meal because it's a denies

and then it arrives and you throw up on it it's like that's what season two has been but you told a bunch of people you were going to eat it and they're all watching and so you

that's been season two you eat the vomit and the dacery and the waffles but then you finish because you have to so that's what you do because if you say

you're going to eat a meal you fucking eat the meal. This is America. Meals don't go unfinished here. I'm going to talk to this half of the room, guys, so I'm not going to look at you anymore. I just realize there's a lot more people than I originally thought, so that's good.

We've got nights. Do you want to dive in? I've got a cocktail napkin. Because I'm a good planner. That's how all the great started. J.K. Rowling. I legit can't read this, actually. Oh, should I kick off with the shining light?

it seems it seems early you might want to save that I like no I like to start on a positive you know oh okay yeah this is real chicken scratch it's the it's quite early on in the film guy

who I'm not looking at this is like this is how you record a podcast this is quite nice I've been hanging out with this guy too much this is good I feel like I'm just talking to you guys. Everyone on this side of the room, I'm talking to you. This is for you.

Say the Shining Light. The Shining Light is when Carrie comes back to the apartment at the start of the movie and she's like, I want you to come to this movie premiere for Heart of the Desert. I've heard it's going to be the greatest film ever made. It's just like real Oscar Bate material. And Bigg's like, I'm not going. And then she's like, you should come. And then he's like, I'm not coming.

And she goes, fine. I'll go with Stanford instead. and Big just goes, okay, it's so good because she's trying to like pull this passive-aggressive maneuver where she's like, oh, okay, you're going to be like that? Well, I'm going to make you real jealous by taking one of my male friends who we've just attended the gay wedding of. And Big without missing a half a beat, it's just like, yep, sweet-ass.

It's all good in the hood. You do that, you have a good time. It does. I fucking love it. It stands out. It just defuses here as well, because for a lot of the rest of the dialogue in the film, there's like a line then a beat while everyone recovers from how terrible

the scripted line was and then a beat and you could tell that Chris Knoweth God bless his pastoring soul Yeah Is he dead God can bless people who are alive Tim

It's not often a turn of phrase I hear for people who are still among us You know if you say like God God bless his soul actually Continue Off you go He obviously believed in the line because it was like

okay well fine I won't go to the movie and then he was so excited to deliver the line to Carrie Carrie Bradshaw who by the way this week of all weeks Carrie when you could have been remotely sympathetic or lovely was just insufferable she is she's the worst big shout out of SJP if you're in the building

make yourself none we didn't invite us I don't know why expected to show up But he just, he jumps on that line like, whoopang! Yeah, big does. Never. I'm not going. Fuck you.

Yeah. So good. I love that. Do you want to do your shining light or do you want to bleed it out later on? No, I might as well. No, no, no, no, no, no. Do you remember what it was? Let's remove all hope for these people.

It's okay. There's a particular one. So the Irish nanny, who we have discussed previously. Uh-huh. Very beautiful, very brawless. Uh-huh. Very lazy sort of story arc for Charlotte. She gets a theme song.

Oh, yeah. I never thought of it like that before, but she does. Yeah. Because they don't believe in the actor's ability to do an Irish accent, they're like, and we'll underlay this. I'll just do the little... I'll do the theme song for her, okay? Okay.

That's it Just quietly I fucking nailed that That's exactly the tune You did Tim Save for one detail Which is my shining light For this

The 50 second and final week We had to watch the film With headphones this week Which always makes for very immersive Very enjoyable Oral experience There's someone Playing what sounds like

And like I haven't noticed this book before The World's Finest woodblock Oh really So you do the You do the theme song That's funny

That's funny That's funny I've never noticed it And now I will never notice it Because it's You'll never That's right And I could have

Every time Something happened This movie I was like Fuck I'm glad I'm watching this Because it's gone now This is over We're never going to this performance again

Like this play will keep going for infinity Do you know he's going to be very embarrassed When they show up to perform this performance next week The actors The actors, namely all of the performers Who are on the phone reporting to their evil overlord That we're watching the movie again They're like, well I don't know what to tell you

They didn't show up This is genuinely what it feels like I was like laughing at them Like they're still, they're going to keep going week after week They're all there like doing their job and we won't be there anymore. So it's like, who's one now? Mattress Pikelet?

You or me? I bet you, man. It would be a weird feeling for them as well because it wouldn't be, like, it wouldn't be total disappointment. They'd be like, well, frankly, they bought really negative energy sometimes, so I'm glad that they're not here.

Yeah. But on the other hand, it was, you know, there was a vague familiarity between us. That's, um, yeah, that's deep, man. Because that's like, well, that's the relationship with, I, you know, I never got this with grown-ups. I never got to the point where I pushed through how terrible it was to the point

where it acted as like a safety security blanket movie. But with Sex and City 2, that has been a tiny aspect of that since around the mid-40s, where it's like, the movie's bad, the movie's horrible but there's been little moments of like niceness, I don't know.

I don't think that you've done a very good job of purveying that to an audience member throughout the podcast at all. Would anyone in this room say that Tim's really been bringing some positivity in light I think you're just getting nostalgic

in your old age. I don't think you've been like kind to the movie? No, no it's not about what I'm being to the movie, it's about what the movie's being to me. But the problem is the ending is always the same and the ending is the thing that fucking kills me. The start is fine, the middle is terrible then it gets briefly

fun again. When? You tell me when? Okay. foreigner yeah there when yeah okay like

so like for as long as the song from foreigner is playing yeah for that minute and a half when they're doing the karaoke that's fun and then we're back to shit what I'm trying to say

is I really like them doing that foreigner song I guess that's it yeah that's fair it's I mean like I said we did we made a hear

huge mistake and we did it and we stuck with it but there's no way I do it you know it's just and it feels so it feels so good it feels I can't tell you that people is enough did anyone watch the movie today

out of curiosity two people about four or five I think four or five people that's awesome I thought that question was going to be who's watched the movie period make some noise if you've watched the movie at all don't applaud

you're all garbage people we were doing it for something you're not garbage people thanks for coming thanks for thanks for paying to be here I respect you respect the hell out of you hey one thing I noticed this go around which I've

never noticed before is Herman Kane is in the movie which is fucking weird former US presidential candidate and I think the founder of Papa John's pizza he's at the fucking scene where Brady wins the blue ribbon oh yeah

Yeah, yeah. It's absolutely, undeniably Herman Kane. This isn't... For everyone who is authentically saying, what? Yeah, it's definitely him. It's totally the guy. He is.

He's standing just standing next to... He's just standing next in frame to... I feel like I know the cogs that are going around in your head and you're conceiving of a way to call me a bigot in front of a room full of people. Because you're going... No, no, no, no, no. Timson and the black guy in the back,

and he thinks it's Herman Kane. No. there's what's up I can tell by your timing totally wrong I was explained to everyone is definitely Herman Kane it's definitely in the movie

the reason why Herman Kane could be in the movie now I've forgotten exactly in the timeline when the movie's set 2010 2010 so when was he running for president anyone?

2012 So this makes perfect sense what Herman Kane's doing How much more superdelegate can you get than the future leader of the world? Well, I think the timing of his placement in the movie is also, you know, supports your theory because he does show up as we see

the beginning of the rise of Brady. Yeah. He is in the classroom as Brady is being given the blue ribbon. Actually, fuck that, I'm bored of that already. I know that I've already seen my shining light. It's a real good way to open up a thing. Fred and then just drop your trousers and shit on it.

But I've got to say, Brady gave the performance of his small life tonight. Like, the performance that I saw him give this week was better than any other that I've seen throughout the last year. And I want to congratulate him for that. So, it was, like, he's got a better voice than I thought

he did. He's probably got a really good singing voice, I reckon. There's a clarity and authority that is not usually bestowed onto a child his age, but he just says, his lines with such conviction that I'm like there is an intelligent young man who knows what's up and potentially

to our detriment but time will tell he's like a jiggly puff if you will if he is to sing with his dulcet rat-lined ginger throat that's true what he does is he skins the rats

and he dies the flesh or not the flesh what's on a The pelt? The pelt. Yeah, so he skins the rat and he dies the pelt orange and he lines his,

and this is why he speaks with such clarity for a young buck and he's got sort of that deep Barry tone sort of resonance. And he does, he books hotels under the name Barry tone as well. Like, what is he

covering with the pelt, his throat? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, so he skins them, he dyes the pelt orange and he lines his esophagus with them. What the fuck is the point in dying something of color if it's in your esophagus?

What's the point in watching Sex and City 2? 52 times. It's just something to do, man. Okay, fair enough. You're walking in on like an eight-year-old kid skinning and dying, like, rat pouts, and you're like, hey man, I get the skinning, and I get that you're lining your esophagus with them. But there's one thing. Let me stop you on the dying of the pout.

No one's going to see them, Brady. You could cut out the middle, man. You're wasting time in everything. energy on the dying. I genuinely do understand it though if it gives you a like a baritone tombrer if it gives you some depth to your voice

and you can go a little couple octaves lower just by chucking some pouts in there. I would totally do that. I just don't see the justification with dying than people. It's valid. Do you know who would do that? Prince. That's who would do that. That's who would kill a bunch of rats,

skin them, dye them and then absorb their coats into his esophagus. Prince and Brady He's in good company Yeah He sure is But yeah So he's done this

And he's willing to use The power of His newfound Barry Tone As a young inn Along obviously with the army of rats He's assembled In New York sewers Haven't seen a single rat

Since we've been here by the way Not one! Not one rat Presumably Well Those are rats? You shouldn't wear that could.

You know what the Brady walking around? I'd be furious. I haven't seen any. I haven't seen a single goddamn one and I'm so disappointed. Do you know where I see rats in Auckland? What the fuck New York City? But we're here in winter. So I reckon that's got something to do with it.

All you, New York has you always go, oh, we got so many rats. It's all rats out. Put them on the internet. The rats are growing intelligent. Not one rat! I cannot read the rest of my notes at all. I've written my notes with supreme clarity. I did discover today, I laughed at it hardly,

and I can confidently say this is a world-leading expert in the field of Sex and the City 2. The funniest line, the funniest scripted line in the entire movie and one that will never lose its value. Yes. It's delivered by Runkle. Yeah. when the Irish nanny is bathing his child

with Charlotte and I've spoken about this before but I just I wrote it down because I had to say it tonight I want to be on the record with this the funniest line in sex in the city too is when their child the younger one

Rose picks up the detachable shower handle from the bath and like it's as as the child is picking it up and we know that the nanny is brawis and she's wearing a white top and you can all see where this is going The mic was like two steps ahead of you

Mike just pointed to your chest Love that For all the people listening to this after the fact The microphone pointed at where my breasts would be Should be As a sidebar As a funny thing Tim said to me when we were watching the movie

He said well we got tattoos after grown-ups too So to up the stakes the logical endpoint for this Would be if we went and got boob jobs It's just very sex and the city I thought as well we're not doing it just heads up this just in

guineeringly shouting out the word no we're not actually going to get breasts put in but yeah so anyway so Rosa's in the bath she's being bathed by Runkle and Nanny does the nanny get named Erin oh man

that's embarrassing the plebeians who have probably seen it twice know the name there's just one die hard sex in the city too fan who accidentally came to wrong event. Well, this isn't what I expected. I thought it would be a celebration.

Rosa picks up the shower head, not this time, microphone, and grabs it, and as she grabs it, wrinkled, pre-empting what's going to happen, goes, whoa! He does. Yeah. Whoa!

What's that going to do? Q the shower head, point. pointing at and spraying the ample bosom of Erin the Irish Nanny, and he goes, whoop? It's a good moment. And then nipples, baby. That's what Sex and the City's all about, man.

We went on the Sex and the City tour while we were here in New York City, and first of all, it's awesome. On locations.com, ask for Elise. she's fantastic. At least, yeah, indeed. You've done the tour? Oh, do you really? For people, everyone who's not in the room,

which is most people listening right now, someone in the audience knows at least, so that's television, hello. Or she could listen to this. Where the fuck was I going with that? You liked the tour. I had a point and it's gone. It's okay. Don't worry about it.

I think you're beautiful just the way you are. Thanks, man. Holes in your memory and all. You're a real sweetheart? You've got beautiful lips and a funny little goatee. Yeah. You know, the rationale behind that was, the beard's not as plump around the sides.

So I was like, I'll get rid of the fuzzy bit. And then I did, and I was like, uh-oh. I look terrible. You could either be a guy with an uneven beard or a guy with a goatee, and you were like... Yeah, yeah, I'll take the latter. Thank you very much. Those two exceptional options.

Yeah. which is a false dichotomy really because I should just get rid of everything and I will just haven't been bothered yet it's too busy buying knives

you know could shave with a knife it's possible you can show that's how people used to shave some people do shave like that little known fact a fun game Tim and I did

in the last two watches to make it more fun for ourselves we spoke about it briefly on the podcast is we got big every time that big or Carrie said the word sparkle we thought to replace it with mayonnaise and then tonight

we were pretty much just watching the movie looking for opportunities to insert the word mayonnaise fuck it is fun I highly recommend that game so unfortunately the game relies on you watching the movie once so that you kind of know what happens and roughly what's said and then watching the movie again with that mayonnaise game in mind

but it's a lot of fun if you're Timbo and Guy Guy guy I don't know if it had worked for anyone else maybe though only one way to find out almost definitely not if yeah if you're watching the movie do it with a tub of mayonnaise is our hot tip and at one point as Mr Big

was you know saying some fucking just garbage as it's his want as a character in the movie we created something new which is a fusion he's made this isn't even a he didn't even write this idea idea down he just made it up on the spot

between marmalade and mayonnaise and he's called it mayonnaise and it's going to be available that is not like a compound

word that I would expect you to nail on the first go around that's really impressive that you're able to pull that off I couldn't even

complete the thought I had earlier marmonade mayonnaise marmanase fuck I can't even that's crazy it's like

apricop preserve you got a good mouth on you boy and whipped eggs a pretty little mouth you got a very pretty little mal boy I wouldn't mind climbing in

living between your teeth and your gums but a little house start hanging out with teeth Cindy and teeth I hate it here on earth real fucked up in a room full of people that's just for us guy that's just for us

there's a moment that we've talked about a couple of times on the podcast before where Charlotte and Miranda are getting drunk in the Abu Dhabi bar where they're in the hotel. And it's got... There's a lot of offensive lines in the film,

but it's probably the single most offensive one where Charlotte's talking about how hard her life is, is a mother of two while she's, you know, 8,000 miles away from them with a professional nanny and husband who seemingly doesn't have a job either.

Rangel doesn't work enough. What does he do? Lawyer. Lawyer. Yeah, well guess what? Not in this movie. I don't know what version of sex in the city

you're talking about based on the clues that are in the movie he could be a professional golfer maybe or somehow just like he looks after nannies he's Mr Sheffield

he takes a class in teaching people how to furrow their brow ah yes which is trademarked obviously A crinkle pro yeah the runcle crinkle So

Charlotte says How did the woman without help do it And Miranda says I have no fucking idea And it's just the word fuck To really like make you sit up and listen As an audience member It's like oh my goodness They're talking to me

And then they chairs the camera And almost like barrel barrel right down the middle And go here's to them And it's just the Oh boy What I imagine the kryptonite of someone with that

I know they're a fictional character I realize that but the gall of someone with that much wealth and detachment from reality who's been existing in this like existential cloud like life for so long thinking that she even can relate

to poor people or just normal people is like stomach churningly what's the word I'm looking for like bad the hubris the hubris of it it's offensive and I don't like it that's not what I'm here to talk about

I would have imagined in the cinema as that happened you know all of the parents who had gone and they'd hired a babysitter for the night yeah you know and they'd spend their money on the tickets and they're really excited to catch up with their four firm friends and they drove their like 1994

Honda Civic there you know like just a good family car with good economy and Charlotte and Miranda swilling cosmopolitans in a 22 $2,000 a night hotel barreling the camera going you know who we're doing this for

it's you it's you fucking plebeian and they put down their cocktail and they break character and they walk towards the camera just pulling the fingers just flipping you the bird as a human who exists in the real world and everyone in the cinema just removes because they actually put these in

and the cinemas where Sex and the City 2 was originally screened after the first week of screenings they put in gasoline gasoline under the seats and they just take out the bottles of gasoline and they pour it all over the place and they burn the motherfucker to the ground. They burn the whole goddamn building

to the fucking ground. We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further? To Dubai, a city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers,

and epic desert adventures to museums that showcase the future not just the past choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai book on emirates.ca today so that one has been talked about a little bit

but the line that really got me this week was Charlotte says to Carrie when Carrie is in this 35 minute period of making every situation about herself because she's just kissed Aiden. It's like the fact that her friend gets fucking arrested in the Middle

East. Like that shit goes down in the Middle East for Westerners. Sometimes they don't come back and stuff, you know? Yeah. Like things happen there. So Carrie gets this call. Samantha's going Carrie, it's awful, I've been arrested. That's probably her one call that she gets.

And Carrie's like, oh my God, how do I make this about me while running around? And they go to the thing and they talk to Samantha and they leave her with Miranda because she's the lawyer. And then Carrie and Charlotte is sitting on the stoop of the hotel

and Charlotte says to her, no, you know what, Carrie, you were right all along. I've been away for a couple of days. I've got some sleep and I finally am starting to feel like myself again. And what they're attempting to do in that moment in the movie is communicate to the audience that sometimes you need a couple days off from your kids.

Sometimes you need to get away. Sometimes you need a little break. Sometimes you need to take your three friends who you're constantly taking days off with to just get fucking wasted and leave your kids with your nanny to fly halfway around the world to enjoy a free stay in one of the most expensive hotels on the fucking planet surrounded by manservants who are probably being paid pennies on the dollar as if it's like, hey, you know what audience? You should try it sometime. I reckon it to do your world

of good. And then before you're even allowed as an audience member to enjoy the absurdity and just misguided nature of that line. Carrie wades in in her fucking galoshes, which say, Carrie Bradshaw. One says Carrie, the other says Bradshaw, diamonds up to the fucking knees, and says, oh, I've really fucked up my relationship. Could we please just break from your huge problems at home

and talk about me, which we've failed to do since we were in a room where our friend was possibly going to be killed for having sex on a beach. We can't even sit in this misguided attempt to educate the audience and why they shouldn't be going to $22,000 a night hotels to get away

so they can like recover a bit of their spirit, you know? Real sisterhood of the traveling pants style. We can't even sit in that moment for a brief New York minute because Carrie Bradshaw has got to bring that spotlight back to her. Fuck it is a poorly written film.

She does it before that. She does it. So when they are in the room with Samantha and Samantha's got lipstick all over the place like the makeup people have made it very clear that this was a lady who was they were doing they were doing fun stuff on the beach like her and Dick Bot God knows what I have a theory from

this week's watch that This is disgusting I can't believe you're going to share it on stage As a joke So the Japanese technicians who built Dickbot and did so with supreme confidence and skill

and programmed him and put him in the Middle Eastern Desert to ensure that he would always be solar powered, he would never run out of battery. Never, ever would he run out of battery. However, if he was to run out a battery. Exceedingly unlikely, they put in, just for them, a little jape, a little joke.

They said, what will do is we'll make it that his dick is a battery pack, and the way he recharges is by putting it in a human orifice. It doesn't matter whose, it doesn't matter what. and somehow that's intersected with sex in the city too but that's neither here nor there so you're glad you brought it up now it's not relevant to the point I'm making

which is in the room Samantha has been busted for having sex on the beach the most illegal thing you could pretty much do in Abu Dhabi and she says we were only kissing and everyone's like this is a pretty high stakes moment this is as high as they bother to make the stakes for the film and Carrie Bradshaw says

just completely undercutting any moment of tension or like, well, I sure hope my friend doesn't get stoned to death in this foreign place. See, kissing is something, it's illegal. That's what she says. In reference to a conversation she'd had about her five minutes beforehand. That's the best time I've been able to fit in, that's what she said, into a natural conversation ever. But that is what she said.

It was so natural I didn't even notice. See, kissing is something, it's illegal. carey like take a second take a moment more than that when Carrie tells the girls that she kissed big and they were like oh should we should you tell big I don't know let's talk about it she eventually decides to call big and she calls up big and she's on the phone to big and Big's as our friends Joseph Moore and Nick Samson said in a previous podcast is very busy in a big building being sad said in a big building she said she says she sort of starts pleading with him like and you know so yeah so really fucked up i went out for a meal with my ex-boyfriend and we

made out but worse than that my friends were like oh don't tell your husband but i was like get out of it ladies these ladies are villains i'm a hero i'm absolutely gonna tell my don't fucking throw your mates under the bus for your mistake it's a crazy phone called a big he like first of all he's real stoked because he's figured out the time zone which we've explored earlier. He's like, he's excited, he's jived, he's hyped up, he's like, boom, Carrie's on the phone, I know exactly what time it is. You know what time it is? Time for me

to be good at math on the spot. And he nails it. And then Carrie's like, hey guess what? Kissed Aiden real quick, but don't worry about it because I'm telling you, but my friends told me not to. Therefore, I'm a fucking hero. Fuck you. Do you know what you would benefit from, Carrie Bradshaw? Some goddamn

kids. Ironically, the one thing you are running 100 miles in the opposite direction of, because that would bring you into a zone where you have to think of someone fucking ours. Holy shit, we crack the movie. It only took 52 times. This isn't a movie about female

empowerment. It sets it up like it's trying to be but it misses somehow but that's not what the film's really about. The message of the movie is have kids or you will turn out like Carrie Bradshaw and that's the worst thing that could happen to you.

Catholic Church man, be fruitful and multiple I reckon the Pope funded this thing Yeah, it's true If you watch the movie the whole way through Before it starts playing again at the end of the credits Special Banks too Yeah, funded by the Catholic Church

Pope Francis And he's just there doing a... No, it would have been Benny, I think Old Ex Benny It's a goodie Sponsored by Francis Benedict Arnold You really know your religious figure, guy I'm smart gay

You're right. I got a big old squeebit-a-b-b-bob juicy brain. Yes, you do. You got a bo-bah. I got a big bumb-bo-baw-b-bub-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bba-b-b-b-b-bbbbb-b-bbbbbb-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbblond that voi-dddddddddd dom-d-dum-dd-d-dum-dh-d-ddddddum-dddum-ddENCE ad-dddd Where's he going? Where's it going? Where's the Catholic church and bowl? That is the question that we ask every week. And we're delighted to tell you that some new information has come to hand, ladies gentlemen.

not only is that the question we ask every week this week we did something special this is the question we specifically asked a little known New York based actor called Tom Stratford the first question we asked him was hey Tom this is going to sound weird but we've kind of watched

the movie you were in for half a second 52 times and would love if you could come and talk to us about it yeah and guy like there was pretty much all the context guy gave in this message and he said if you come you'll get the hottest crowd in the world they will scream for you you won't quite know why

but that's okay just like you'll be lavished with praise and applause and he said no yeah no no don't boo him no no no he's a working act now he said he was I mean it sounded flimsy to me but he said he's on he said he's on a night shoot this week

he's shooting a feature isn't he yeah but I don't think I mean I've been on his IMDB page I don't think he is the feature of the feature Oh shot's fired Guy Montgomery I like Tom Stratford Some of my best friends are Tom Stratford

What did he say And the message back After he said he couldn't make it I messaged Tom and I said No problem Thanks for getting back to me if it is possible at all today, I send this at 12.33 p.m. today. Could you maybe give us a brief description of your motivation for this scene?

Did you build a character for coffee guy? Where do you think he was going to after refueling with coffee? Our fans would genuinely love to hear this from you. you do have the time to write it? Thanks for playing along guys. And so he said and this is all he said so cryptic

I'm pretty sure he was spying on Carrie to get information on Samantha's next move involving travel and then report back to central casting for his next assignment that's like Tom That's not enough.

Why would central casting want to know what Samantha was up to? And Tom rode back. She is planning to film a documentary on that country's wealthiest people in power, and Samantha has plans on getting married to one. She also has connections to all the film festival's main men, since Samantha has slept with most of them and really wants an Oscar. She will feature the girls under a SAG contract

and Coffee Guy wants a part or he will let Central know that she does not have the legal papers to have participants work out of the country. Only Coffee Guy can get the papers in order by the time they leave. We were so far off. I love that so much. God, that's good. We're actually

fast running out of time. What I feel like is important at this juncture is to grab one of those little wooden step ladders and get up on the shelf and pull out a little dusty old leatherbound book. Yeah. Open it up, flick through some pages

and see what's going on in that book, that big old book, that big old big big book of ideas. Big old book. Every second page, stuck together with mayonnaise, every fourth with giz. He's a grubby guy. Well, this is, I guess this is,

is this, is this is magnanimous? Is this the biggest idea he's ever had? Of course it is, yes. Of course we would save the best to last. Let's just thumb on through some pages and just make sure we've got the right one. He's sticky tape napkins inside the book this week.

It's weird. It's interesting. some of you're probably disappointed there's not an actual book don't you understand the book is in your mind so like I'm seeing on this particular page

it's a sea world rival called Space World where Big takes everyone to the moon in a crudely constructed rocket and then just like points at crevices and says that they're animals,

but they're obviously not because nothing's alive on there. That's not the big one, though. That's just on some page that I've flipped on to. That's just Big got home from Blackfish and wrote this down. Yeah. It's a weird idea.

There's a weird one. It's a hell of a book. There's all sorts of crudely drawn sketches. This one is him on rollerblades with a baby Bjorn and a full-grown human on the front of it. And it's called Biggs Taxis. It doesn't look.

It doesn't look legal. It doesn't look like a... Written above it, he's got the words Uber and Lyft with just a cross through them. Like, that solves the problem. So, yeah, there are some competitors to being a cab these days. Don't worry, I've put a line through them.

So that business's taken up. That's not the big one, though, of course. Here it is. The final page. Yeah, it sure is. And what is prominently featured on there is it's a blade. It's a knife.

What else? What else could it be? It's a tub of mayonnaise with a knife suspended within it, you see. So it's pretty much... Knife anase. What it actually is, and we said this wasn't his, but it turns out it is. It's the launch of mayonnaise marmonez. Yes.

And for the first 5,000 puddles sold, he has fastened a very sharp blade inside the tub. Yeah. This is not mentioned on the label. The other thing that's not mentioned on the label is the muminase is that it's got the exact right amount of like grease and fat content and citric acid from both the mayonnaise component and the orange component that it sharpens the blade and then like it never dulls it so it kind of protects it from erosion like rust, right? It doesn't get oxidized but it just sharpens it up. So to have a blade in this mammanais... Yeah, you're saying it as it's spelt and I'm saying it as it's pronounced.

So that's... I'm not good if it's not phonetic. I have trouble with the word. Yeah, I know. So the mammanais... Maminase is like the ultimate suspension product for a knife. And basically that's who he's selling to. He's selling to your crocodile Dundee wannabes.

He's pretty much launched a condiment preserve, knife sharpening. That's why they call it a preserve. Because it preserves your knife. No one has known why it's being called to preserve this whole time until now. Because it preserves your knife. Well, I tell you what, it looks illegal. You've got to at least say on the jar there's a knife. here.

But fucking all-powered, all-powered to him. I mean, the guy is bona fide insane. It's powerful product. Well, well, that's probably us. Is that it? Yep. Is this truly it? Yeah. This is a good... No, no, don't just, don't yell, no.

Oh, you want a spelling bee? Guess what? We don't normally do this in front of an audience, and I respect the suggestion, I respect your fandom, and I I will take one word. Warrinson's doing it, or Steve? Yeah, guy. I mean, Steve, you should spell marminate mayonnaise or whatever the fuck.

It is spelled. Wait, and you should do a letter of peace between Steve and Warrinson that can be done and will be done. I believe in you as a performer and a talent. You have given me the least possible task. And here we go. The word again?

Language of origin. Latin. Could I hear it in a sentence? I can hear you're going to do that. The Mamenaise Marmalade was the best thing for me to put my knife in. Maminase. N. W.

Y. Why? Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y.

X. X. Miam, yum, yum, yum That's it, I've just fucking spelled it. I'm afraid that's incorrect. You have lost to spelling P. That's all right. I have a very powerful son.

You've made a very powerful enemy. Look, that's it. That's as far as we can say. That's the end of talking about sex in the city too. That's the end. That's the end. Thank you. I know. Thank God.

And thank you. Thank Brady, thank Steve, thank Miranda, thank Carrie, thank Dickbott, thank Charlotte, thank Runkle, thank Mattress, Pikelet King. Thank every, thank coffee guy. Yeah. Thank Tom. What we would like, you definitely thank us, big time. Big time. to do is if any of you have come

armed with any questions or conspiracy theories you would like late to bed before we close the book we have a microphone I mean how we can do I look like we just got one over there yeah there's one microphone if you don't feel like getting up though

you can just yell it and we'll repeat it so we can all hear it does anyone have any questions or theories that I'd like to share with us and explore here in the front what's your name sir hey Nathan how you doing Good. I'm good. I got any of your knife, son. I'm all good.

Do you have a knife? Who wins Brady or Dickbite? You went big real early. All power to you. Nathan doesn't fuck around. Yeah, who wins the knife. I mean, the thing is, and Tim and I've talked about this in all. seriousness. We talked about putting it to rest this evening and really

figuring out and nailing down exactly who. I mean, you know, when you get biology against robotics, this question's bigger than us. It's bigger than what we know. It's Brady. And more Brady wins. More importantly. No. It is. No, no, no. It's definitely Brady. What you said, though, was

I'm not ready to put it to bed because I want someone to create a comic book on the back of it. You can create a comic book out of something that's got a conclusion. Just look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Oh, that might have been a comic book first, actually. The point is Brady wins. The point is that no matter how clever the machines get,

there's one thing that they can't do, and that's improvised. And do you know who can fucking improvise? Rats. They're really good. Did you see that clip of that rat carrying a bit of pizza down to the subway? That's a good question. Is there a dickbot in the room? Is there a dickbot fan in the room?

Anyone reckon? Okay, actually, well, this means nothing because this is not how the apocalypse has decided. But just make some noise right now if you think Dickbott would win. I rest my case. Brady wins. Brady wins.

Brady is the winner. Our Lord Xavier Brady is the record. The singular Dickbop fan was the most compelling argument I have heard for the triumph of Brady. All hail King Brady Long live the King Any other questions from the room?

Hello over there Can we talk about the Sex and the City Tour? We talked about it in the Friends Zone a little bit because we've decided to name our mini episodes It was good I got real sleepy on the bus Is that the kind of detail you're after? It was

I'm sorry? I believe I was on the window I honestly can't remember or thought to take note because I didn't think this would come up it was fine you go through like the East Village you get to sit on the stoop of Carrie Bradshaw's Brownstone which is a word that I didn't know existed until I came

on this trip to America people outside of even New York I don't think that exists just a heads out it was fine it was quite like it was a nice way to see a lot of the city we otherwise wouldn't have it was also watching so they pair up clips of the show to where you are in New York City.

I feel like we're now doing a paid-for spot for on-location tours. The fucking New Blaze Pizza. But no, like, if you like the show, I could probably recommend it as a phenomenon. It's 45 bucks, though. 47, even.

Oh, shit. And then you've got to tip your tour guide because you guys love tipping. You love tipping, and you love hiding tax on things you're selling. You're like, This is how much it costs, but actually that's not how much it costs. It costs more than that.

Any other weirdly specific questions about the tour from DoDu asked about that? No. Next question. You had your hand up earlier, coffee guy. They're my favourite kind. It was a speculative question, by the way. I want you to imagine an Oscar for the man servant

I want you to imagine an Oscar pathway for the man servant named Paula Ebbler Okay so we're imagining a way for him to get an Oscar Got it That's the question

Okay What's it expecting That's where the full stop lies That's not a question That's a request Hold on There's a race between Does anyone have any questions

And we are performing monkeys Do you have any request? I'm wearing the banana shirt That doesn't make him a monkey It makes him a guy Who likes bananas on t-shirts Where's the last time you saw a monkey Waring a t-shirt with a banana on it

That makes no sense, coffee guy I'm not going to do The Middle Eastern accent that he has Because I feel like that is just asking for trouble Yes, let's keep the racism in the movie Good call, coffee guy You got it I reckon this might be the real top

because we don't really know very well what he looks like and he's actually them. You look younger off screen and you weren't making a feature you're lying son of a bitch. There's a difference between the question do the acceptance speech and imagine the pathway here's the pathway so much bloodshed

like it's like getting to be king when you are 600th in line like so many actors have died for you to be the Oscar winner that year A big a pun Game of Oscars, exactly. Yes, yes, Rat King.

We've got time for a few more questions, anyone? Yes. Yeah, of course you can. Come right up. We'll take another question while you do it. At the back, yes. Are you going to watch the first movie? Oh, we really should have thought of that before right now.

No, I don't think we... Do you want to watch it? No, I have no desire. Like, I think I've pieced together it's not like with the Steve we've seen me mystery tour where there's like a big nugget of something I want to find out there's like I'm pretty sure I could guess the movie and lots of people have told us the big moments like Charlotte Ships her pants and

Big and Carrie Big fan of Charlotte shooting her pants up here in the front of Carrie and Big aim to get married and then like they don't because actually the fucking tour blew it for that because they show a clip of Big apologising for running out on Carrie and Carrie beats him with a bouquet I don't give a shit they get back together and there's a second movie I've seen the movie already

So respectfully I would say probably not Yes What's your name please? Kayleen Kayleen Hi A character that you really haven't focused on

I'm begging you don't ask us about this character A character you really haven't focused on Is Miranda's boss Tom It is Tom He is portrayed by Ron White Yes he is Who had a very short presidential

I did not realize that And what cycle This one Oh my god, are you serious? He was running for president Wow And he was totally running for president Okay

This is a lot of what's coming from the room It's incredulous crowd What I love about America Is anyone can just Yeah You guys realize your front runner right now Is Donald Trump right? Like you can see

Stop with the what. It's very cute, but we're over it. Finish the question, please, Kaleen. Now you realize why I want to go on microphone. Yeah. So he was trying to focus on meth addiction. Okay. I'm like trying to get rid of that because...

That was his platform. The Q&A is taking a turn. Uh-huh. So do you think that Miranda would have been involved in his cabinet if he was like... I thought I thought Kate's she's still going

Okay Great question Give it up Kaley I thought that question I thought that question was heading in the direction of like

Do you think the ACA is doing enough of meth addicts And what would you change about Obamacare to ensure that people get help We were going to have to hilariously

improvise a serious solution to meth addiction Look, I think My experience of that person is simply the character of Tom And I think he would make a more wonderful president Than Trump Who's the current Republican frontrunner

And I think that he would win And I think that Miranda would be in his cabinet And I think that she would be The Great Secretary of State Follow-up to Who the fuck is it at the moment? John Kerry, yeah It seems interesting because in the movie

they did not have a good working relationship at all. He is a big old juicy sexist pig who says Miranda, frankly, your breasts are getting in their way of your opinion. Get out of my office. So to sort of counterpoint Tim's opinion, I don't think he would, I don't think that that would, I don't think Miranda would work in his cabinet

because A, she would never ever want to work for that guy and B, he wouldn't hire her. I don't even feel like we need to answer the question. What you've done is he've couched a really fun fact any question. So let's just leave it there. So thank you so much Kaylee. There was awesome. Didn't know who's running for president. That's great. Step forward. How you doing? I'm good. You said Tim Guy like with one I like that. I'm going to use that.

Nice to meet you, David. Nice to meet you, David. My question is more of a kind of back pool. Let's say you woke up tomorrow with two years with a venezia. You've forgotten all about sex and two, grownups too, and you stumble into a double feature of both films. Which do you imagine you would be? Good question. Very easy answer.

There's no doubt in my mind that it is sex in the city too. We said at the start of this podcast, it's too fucking, it's so long, it's so long, it's so long, it's long, it's long, the movie. How long is it? It's too long. What is the defining feature of the movie, Tim? It's fucking long!

I was going to say Eliza Manala. the only the only reason why sex in the city two if you listen to like the first episode of this season was so palatable is because we've watched grown-ups two 52 times but if it was a one-to-one

and like we hadn't got the history of what we've become we weren't the monsters we are today I would definitely yeah absolutely sex and city two is a worse if you think about them say as not that snakes fight often but two snakes who were wrestling

sex in the city two would strangle and kill grown-ups too. And accordingly, is therefore the greater of two evils and the worst film in a very roundabout, not really functioning analogous analogy? I know what the word is. I'm running out of words. Does anyone else have a question?

We've probably got time for one more. The final question. Make it a belt us, sir. It's the final question. I got to do, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm trying to curtail this. You want to do the whole thing? So, we actually follow each other on Twitter.

I'm the guy that works on Fight the Concordes. Hey! I don't know your name. So I actually have a question from Jermaine Clement. Apparently your name's not important. Go on. It's not. It's Stephen.

It's pretty common. Hey, your name's important, man. Okay, my name's Stephen. Steve, ladies and gentlemen. So, you know, I had a conversation with you made about you guys. You're crouching, so I feel like I have to as well. I just noticed I'm mirroring your body language and a show of empathy. Now it's a real power play.

It's a level's thing. You're up and I'm down. Go, Steve, go. I'm going to maintain eye contact. So this question is more from Jermaine than me. Sure. You're a very, very good vessel for it though. I know.

I know. I'm ready. I'm doing the Hobbit size now. Yeah. He would like to know whether you two would be up for a rap battle with fight of the congards. Fuck, no. What are you doing? I see you pitched up on that chair.

Yes, obviously. Okay, I'll wait you now. Just drop a bomb like that, Steve. That's a fool's errand, man. You just ran into that. He legitimately really good. Like, Brett has Grammys, doesn't he? We're not going to rap battle like that he's got Grammys?

Well, he's got... What, an Oscar and a Grammy? You're going to hurt yourself, do. Get off that chair. I'm not going to hurt myself. You're bad at this. Get off the chair. I'm good at this. I've been standing here longer than you've been eating hot meals. Okay, everybody, what's going to happen? We're going to take a quick intermission.

It's going to be 10 minutes. You can do wheeze. You can do poos. You can buy a drink. You can smoke a cigarette. You can buy posters, limited edition posters that we've printed for this event specifically. from the merch table the people selling the posters are our lovely girlfriends because we're bad at organizing things

because we're bad at organizing stuff so please be lovely to them they are beautiful and helpful and I love you baby and I'm coming home soon we can put all this behind us season three what me hanging out with my girlfriend

season three when you guys entertain yourselves we're going to go take a break yeah that's what's up the posters of $12 there's no hidden tax I've never sold out harder than I am right now so look what I'd like to say to everyone in the room right now

is you're beautiful no matter what they say guys' lack of words can't bring you down thank you so much for coming if you feel like leaving do if you feel like sticking around and seeing Guy and I do some stand-up comedy because we've got two festivals coming up

and we need to sharpen tools we would invite you to stay that'd be super lovely but please give yourselves a round of applause for being part of history and we will see you guys there will be a season three It's the worst idea of all time

It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season two We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further? To Dubai, a city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers,

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