The Worst Idea Of All Time - REVIEW: Hard Ticket to Hawaii

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

This was originally a pay-walled episode available only to Patreon supporters. Please consider if you can #PayTheBoiz at patreon.com/join/TWIOAT.Hard Ticket is the pinnacle of 80s cinema. That is assessment of your frosty fellas. This movie stars four Playboy bunnies, one bazooka, a soap opera icon, and a snake infected by cancer-ridden rats. Truly, it has it all. The film doesn't make a whole lot of sense and it that's okay. The characters talk about 'doobies', it's got a badass 80s soundtrack and a man inextricably rides a skateboard while doing a hand stand. Why it missed an Oscar nod, we shall never understand. 10/10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hard ticket to Hawaii. It has it all. The awesome, pristine beauty of the land. The warm caress of perfect beaches. The tantalizing wetness of the blue Pacific. Hawaii. It's a great place to visit, but you wouldn't want to die there. Four of America's finest, ready and willing to pay the price for paradise. They're undercover, but not under-equipped. On this mission, there's hard flying hard fighting agents are everywhere have no mercy kill them all Attention Patreon pals. This is Tim Batt with a sincere vote of thanks to you for making us watch Hard Ticket to Hawaii. A movie that came out in 1987. Which is either an accurate depiction of what Hawaii was like in 1987. Or an accurate depiction of what a coked up film director thought Hawaii was like from 1987. Guys just watched the movie in Montreal.

I've just watched the movie in Auckland, New Zealand. Now we come together and feast. Yeah, it's nice when the things that bind us are 1987 action films that you're watching for the first time this was a romp this was

this was a real easy watch it didn't take itself seriously none of it made sense they captured all the action they needed to on camera uh it features some of the most enjoyable scenes i've seen in cinema you know not just from the year 1987 but even modern cinema would struggle to keep up with some of the stunts and that's a great way to put it some of the most enjoyable scenes in cinema yeah you're

right it's just the celebration of the form isn't it this movie i i can't i couldn't quite figure out the tone because for the first half an hour i sort of felt like i was watching uh a porno and i felt like when i felt like when Milhouse was watching Itchy and Scratchy with Poochie and they go to the fireworks factory and I'm like when are they going to get to the fireworks factory and then I think I sort of figured

out it's not a full blown porn but it's it just features skin film they don't make these anymore I don't think what is the skin film by definition i don't know a movie with uh titties in it and this was a movie with titties yeah truly and i also i think maybe because i was groggy and waking up i was struggling to keep up with one way of saying this could be which characters were which.

Another would be saying whose titties were whose. Yes. So if you were. Just to explain a little bit, Guy, in terms of the tone and how much titty we were saying, the four women who star in this film were all Playboy bunnies. This does not come as a huge surprise to me. this does not come as a huge surprise to me uh yeah so the the movie is about um two i think they're agents who they they live on a i don't know like it's it's set on a hawaiian island and it's sort of these two women were the leads, I thought.

And it seems to me that they're mixed up in some sort of hokey mafia plan. They've got two things to contend with. They stumble across some diamonds that belong to the mob, and they sort of get caught up in that. And then simultaneously, they also um have had to relocate a snake that they they wind up releasing uh and it's not just any snake it's also been infected with toxins from cancer infested rats and because it's been right yeah because it's been infected with these toxins it's it's not just deadly in the sense that it could eat the snake's meant to be a python but they keep saying that it will eat you whole

pythons are famous for being strangling snakes this snake has got a triple threat it could strangle you it could eat you whole and if you get close to it the the cancer the toxins from the cancer infested rats will kill you on impact uh no expense has been spared with uh showing you the snake as well it is a fantastic yeah i would like to know how close to cutting edge technology the depiction of the snake was for the year 1987 because it doesn't hold up entirely in 2019. Were there any... I suspected during some of them there were some real snakes

in some of those shots we saw. Do you think that's right or is that wrong? Just a couple of them. There were a few where it's like they just show you a little bit of the torso of the snake and you think oh that could be a real snake but by and large no I thought

the snake looked really gross and it looked thick like an erect penis I thought the way that the snake they'd animated the movement of the snake they'd they'd animated the movement of the snake it looked to me what a penis would look like if it was trying to move like a snake it was really rank yeah the dick snake was super rank and it was um it's quite funny because

it feels like they used a bevy of techniques to do the snake. In some of them, it was obviously kind of like on a string. In others, it kind of looked like it was a puppet. And then still in other scenes where we saw the snake. And I will say, the snake doesn't feature as much as you might think in this film. Not as much as it should, I'll say that. We don't see it for the whole middle of the movie we see it at the start and we're reminded it exists in the middle by dialogue and then we see it in the end this is the beauty of of the snake tim is you you know it's it's a classic

suspense move you don't need to see the snake to be fearful of the snake to know the snake is out there but i do like that because in the middle you're like hey what about that fucking snake and they're like oh yeah and the snake still exists and you're like cool cool cool cool i didn't just imagine that there was a cancer rat infested snake on the island well i wondered whether or not the whoever developed the the plot for snakes on a plane actually lifted it or not lifted it from this movie, because you see them, these two women,

whose job I'm not entirely clear on, simultaneously. We should get into that. They're simultaneously transporting a honeymooning couple to a private beach and a snake. And we know that, we've seen the top of the container in which the snake is contained be loosened, so we know that that we've seen the top of the container which the snake is contained to be

loosened so we know that the snake is the possibility of breaking free and as soon as they packed it onto the plane with the honeymooning couple i was like well here's your you know here's your first action sequence this snake's gonna get out it's gonna be an absolute disaster but it's a real um it's an unused Chekhov's gun. They just arrive at the beach with the snake. And then they don't even release the snake where they flew it to. They just fly the same snake back to its original location without any consequence for it having been on the plane in the first place.

And I'm thinking if I was... Wait, what? Well, the snake doesn't get released on that island it just does no it doesn't get taken off the plane they come across like they come across the diet like they they land they drop off the couple they come across the diamonds that were dropped off by a drone they get into like a shootout with those two guys and then they go we got to get out of here and they get back on the plane and fly back and then they take the snake off back at the fucking hangar where they left from in the first place that's not wait but then how does the snake get the honeymooning couple because it does it doesn't get the honeymooning couple the first victim that the snake has is that like is some

random model who's introduced or was that the couple no the honeymooning couple get eaten by the snake oh that's why when they pull that picture out of yeah you're crazy man no i'm not crazy i'm there was only 20 different characters i assumed that i when i saw the honeymooning couple the second time i just thought that we'd been introduced to two new beautiful characters uh man that's possible that's totally possible and it's hard to tell with this they definitely flew the snake back tell me you don't remember what i'm describing to you i genuinely just watched it and i didn't follow that as part of the story no because they go they go back remember and they they put the snake they they lift off the box and they go wow it's heavy and they yeah and then it escapes and it fucking

breaks out because they talk to the guy and he's like you you ladies got to bring the snake back and they're like we don't got the snake no more charlie but where did that where do they take where do they observe that the box is heavy the snake box is heavy? I don't know. Is this taking place on multiple islands? I guess. Hawaii is a collection of islands. Fuck. Well, it's really not important.

It genuinely isn't which island these things happen on. But the honeymooning couple definitely do get eaten by the snake the guy is taking polaroid pictures and that's why there's that amazing photo that they pull out of the camera which develops in front of their eyes of the snake just in frame as the last thing that he saw before the snake got him the cancer rat infested python snake. Fuck this movie ruled. Here's what I liked about it. First lines of dialogue are overdubbed and quite obviously. And that, for me, just set the tone.

It was like, cool man, foot is off the gas. I can take my thinking hat off. I can knock my shoes off. I can just kick back, relax, see some titties, catch a crazy snake, see a gorgeous man who was in many years of The Bold and the Beautiful act his little heart out, and just follow a plot that involves many bazooka shots and a guy riding a fucking skateboard with his hands. Yeah.

I mean, there's a remote controlled helicopter in this like in the start it was just what's not to love i i totally agree with you in that um this is what i want in a movie i am thick i am the uh lowest common denominator and as soon as i start watching a movie if the movie's giving me really heavy signs and winking at me that i don't need to worry about keeping up like it's just pure vapid escapism uh and like this yeah there was so many great little moments that they really treat you that there's a uh a murder featuring a Frisbee. That was awesome. The entire scene surrounding it is crazy.

Is that the guy from The Bold and the Beautiful? The guy who has the razor blade Frisbee? Nah. He was hot. Oh, wait. It's the guys in the poster. I don't know if you're in front of it. Yeah, yeah. If you Google it, yeah, it's that dude.

He's the brunette guy who was doing the very, very borderline karate warm-ups with his mate. Oh, man. There's no line. No, you've got to... Here's the thing about this film. The line hadn't been invented yet. It was 1987. There was no line.

My favorite bit of this movie was, um, when, uh, what's his name? Jimmy Johnson. Yeah. Who's a fucking sportscaster for some reason. Who's,

he's on the Island and he just goes into bars and sits down at the table and starts hocking vitamins. And he like gives this incredible monologue about how he downs 10 grams of vitamin c every day and produces a urine stream that is like jealousy inducingly yellow when he's at the urinal fuck it's good um he does an interview in the middle of this movie with some ball players and uh one of them says the n-word on his like cross to. And it's real funny because he says it and then everyone reacts as you kind of expect. He's like, fuck man, your career's over. You're smoked. That guy should not have said the N-word.

Oh well, let's go get a drink. It's so like, there's so many little things. It's just like, well, that's fun. There's no reason for that to happen. I like that it just did. It's just a little vignette inside the film for lols. They're all played for lols. I just want to quickly circle back to this.

I got bogged down in the details. I want to just describe the Frisbee killing. Pretty much this hot stud sort of... I mean, it's really hard to... Pretty much there's two groups of people. There's the agency and then there's what I assume is a drug cartel. And the agency are trying to stop the drug cartel

and this handsome guy is jogging down the beach with this beautiful woman and she's got a Frisbee and they don't really know each other but they sort of run into each other. She runs back towards where one of the drug cartel members is standing with like a semi-automatic hanging off his shoulder

and he goes hey who's this and she goes he's just a thrower he goes oh yeah show me what you got and then he starts throwing the frisbee back and forth with this guy and every time the guy with the gun over his shoulder catches the frisbee he does this fucking childish like what you'd think would look cool if you were seven, where he loops it and throws it under his leg,

then catches it and throws it back. And he does that twice and then goes to dump his gun so he can play frisbee more seriously. And what he doesn't see is the handsome guy swaps out the frisbee for another one he'd prepared earlier in a satchel that has razor blades on either side like all the way around the the grip part of the frisbee on the inside and the outside and he throws it uh just as hard as possible to throw a frisbee about 20 meters and somehow it lacerates the guy's fingers and is

thrown with such force that as he catches it the frisbee keep continues the trajectory of it until it's forced into his neck and he starts bleeding out from his neck it was so it's so i'm sure that that's on youtube as a pullout it is so funny it's visceral it's real i i think those razor bladed frisbees are one of those weapons that we've all thought about at some point in our life. Usually as a child. You're like, man, that could exist. You know, that could be a thing. And this movie, it shows you what happens when you make it.

It was good. Fuck, it was good. It was so good. There's a guy who gets exploded with a bazooka. It was cool. He's the same guy who was... They love bazookas. At one point, someone's like, a bazooka it was cool he's the same guy who was they love bazookas at one point someone's like a bazooka and the other guy's like it's the only gun i can hit a moving target with but it said like it's cool but that's uh that would be a weakness in your

ability as a sharpshooter if you require something the size of a bazooka to hit any moving target spoiler alert the bazooka is the thing that eventually brings the snake down uh right in the dying minutes of the film um and it kind of uh you know seems petty to get hung up on it but when you see the bazooka in action on the guy on the skateboard, it makes a sort of explosive... Well, it makes an explosion so large that you're like, hey, that's a real bazooka. But then when he shoots the snake with it, it just kind of neatly blows up the snake's head and nothing else.

It's kind of like a precision bazooka at that point. Consistency, not a strong suit of this movie. Tim, I wrote down a couple of lines. Did you write down any? Like lines of dialogue? Yeah, just ones that I enjoyed. Yeah, nah, I didn't do that. You hit me with yours.

Well, I mean, the one that really got me was this sort of lecherous waiter who just tries to hit on everyone as they come in. And he's like the two women who work for the agency, but his job I don't know, come in. And he's like, oh, I got the best seat in the house for you. And one of them says, oh, yeah, where's that? And he goes, you can sit right here on my face.

And then the other woman says says why is your nose bigger than your dick and it's just like such a quippy little exchange between them and it's so nice to see uh the the woman best this you know like he's a he's sort of a downtrodden loserish character because i i realized then that they were talking earlier about how they had sex with one of them and they had a four inch penis. And then they were making fun of the idea of that. And I guess that was him. But everyone gets a chance to get theirs in this film.

So while the line had not yet been drawn, in many ways, it is, you know, it's a bastion of hope for equality. Yeah, it's an interesting one that day because obviously um look through the lens of 2019 this movie is problematic for a myriad reasons but sort of taken within its context of being a b movie from 1987 uh written and directed by a fucking madman and starring playboy bunnies with a rule on set that you're not allowed bras there is that kind of interestingly progressive idea of the women are all kind of smart and super capable and the dudes are kind of shitheads which unfortunately is broken by the dude from um bold and the beautiful there's a bit better

movie if he wasn't in it i would say hello i'll give him this he's pretty good actor and i don't know if it's one of those things if you're just like comparing it against everyone else who's in the film but i reckon he's pretty good but i But I would love this movie if he just wasn't there, and it was just a whole lot of women fighting each other with the occasional villainous man who also gets in the fracas. Yeah, I hear you, but he did bring a certain...

I didn't know that he was an actor. First of all, he's sensationally handsome, which is a treat to watch on screen. Beautiful. If he takes up so much space on the post, you've got to assume he was part of the big sell, the big pitch. Yeah.

This hot guy. Do you reckon that was a fun shooting experience for everyone on set? Man, probably not everyone. Seems like there'd be winners and losers in this kind of set i reckon yeah i uh i feel i mean yeah i don't know what the budget was but you muck it around on hawaii i mean just because the way it plays on the screen it feels like they didn't take it too, too seriously, which suggests it could be funny. Everyone's having a loose time around the camera. I hope that's true.

I hope that's how it went down. It could have been. Yeah. Let's run with that. I hope it was real fun. No one tell us otherwise. Um, what else did I love?

I love that. Uh, I love that. The guy in the pantyhose at the end looked like shyla both there was a little thing i noticed manny looked like him and true story when they pulled out that bright yellow sony camcorder um i started googling around for it and i found it on eBay for about $100, and I am this close to buying it because it is awesome. Yeah, it's really cool. Why wouldn't you?

It's a great investment on... Even if it doesn't work, it's just a fun bit of thing to have around, isn't it? Fuck yeah. It looks so cool. If you want to see a picture of this thing i think you just google um sony sports camcorder and it's the big honking yellow one from the 80s man it's cool they've got some cool shit in this film and they say some cool stuff like the word radical

they say they drive two of them drive past a guy who's, by way of being some sort of distraction, I guess, they drive past someone who's doing a handstand on a skateboard, just skating down a country road. And one of them goes, Wow, that guy must be smoking some heavy doobies. Love that. That's a cool line that I'm probably going to co-opt

and start using in my day-to-day. Wow. Yeah, man. When you see someone who looks pretty out of it, you think, wow, that guy must be smoking some heavy doobies. Not just doobies anymore, and that's a problem, I think. No one does say doobies. What does everyone say? Joints.

Smoking weed. Smoking the gun gross gross smoking weed no we need to do this is what we need to say from here on in here in uh montreal as in i think all of canada now it's all um government regulated so you go down to the store, and it's like going to a liquor store, you know, because all the liquor stores in Quebec are also regulated by the region or whatever. It's called SAC, S-A-Q, and that's where you buy your booze. And then they've got some weed equivalent. And it's crazy. I went and bought some weed here at like 5 30 on a thursday afternoon

and it was literally every cross every every member of society was waiting in line to go into the store like it was literally like a photo from a universe from the cover of a university curriculum in terms of diversity you had what's um you know sorry go on oh you just had like uh you know you had a businessman and a who's clearly just come from work in a suit and you've got these really cool young teenagers you've got uh like young you got young mums you just had like every different it was it was just it was awesome like it was just like yeah yeah, everyone in the world uses this stuff. It's not just wasters. Yeah, it seems crazy that it's illegal, right?

Yeah. And still, like, a lot of places. It's just like, hey, guess what? When you make it legal, it turns out fucking everyone smokes this stuff. We're good here. Shit. This guy apparently a bit of a famous director guy. I looked him up.

So this movie turns out to be quite famous as being like one of the greatest B-movies ever made according to a lot of people. That is not a huge surprise to me considering it's yeah that feels right because when i was watching it i was having such an easy breezy time and i was like it doesn't always feel like this when you watch a bad you know like it exists in

that rare rarefied air of uh perfectly shit or like i don't think shit's the right word but so this is this this features on top list of b movies like it's alongside the room is that what i'm to believe the room's a little different i think like less self-aware yeah the room's been recontextualized after it got put out um old uh tommy Wiseau is just a fucking madman. The absolute mad lad. I could be wrong here, but this movie might be, or this director rather, might be where we get the term B-movie from.

Because it says here, his name's Andy Sedaris. Sedaris was best known for his Bullets, Bombs, and Babes or Bullets, Bombs and Boobs, I don't need to go through these names. I think I don't know traditionally what a B movie is, but I feel like a B movie, it's sort of, I think they existed before the 80s. It's sort of like a show being off-Broadway,

where its categorization is just that it's literally off-Broadway. A B movie is a movie that's not like shooting for the stars as an a movie true um true that hey also i just like i just love the simplicity of this in 1990 he made a movie simply titled guns and its stars are eric estrada from chips and danny trejo how fucking cool is that that sounds like fun it's just called guns why why have any pretense about it it's called guns if you if you're andy sadaris making these movies and you find out that no one yet has

thought to make a movie called guns you're not going to miss that opportunity you're going to jump all over it absolutely god damn it's god bless you this this movie comes highly recommended i would say get a group of friends together uh and make a real afternoon or a night of it like really lean into it because you're going to have a lot of fun. You're going to have a lot of laughs. It is – I mean, I got up at 6 a.m. to watch this movie and still somehow enjoyed it the whole way through. And it's right now midnight for me. And I don't know if you can tell by the constant coughing that I'm doing, but I'm not in the best of health. Still had a fine time.

Had my lovely hot Milo. Watching some titties at 11 p.m by myself in the studio it's a triumph yeah those the the lovemaking scenes did have a real uh there's nothing gratuitous there's nothing unto there's nothing untoward i suppose you could say it's sort of um they had a real sky one at midnight kind of vibe where it's like you get a few. Now, we need to explain this for our international listeners. So in New Zealand, our equivalent of cable was Sky. That was the paid subscription television.

And there was a channel on there called Sky One. And for a generation of people, I think this existed for maybe eight years or so, and Guy and i were just in the pocket of when this was happening uh sky one at midnight would flip on a skin film and uh there was a a really long-running series of them what were they called emmanuel talked about this yeah emmanuel that's right and they were all like soft core porn because they had titties but that was it i don't think you ever saw a penis in it ever no you might see a you might see uh the

suggestion of an ass that like it's and it's exactly it was all the lovemaking scenes in uh hard ticket to hawaii are exactly the same where it's like they'll show gratuitous amounts of breasts and then you'll just see the suggestion of a hand job you'll see uh like a hand job's the perfect sex act you'll see like film you'll see this hands approaching the belt line from from anyone who's involved and then it was sort of you know the director will freak out that they're crossing a line so they'll cut to just another another slow pan this time back up a torso towards the two of them kissing there's a dude who is the partner of the really gorgeous guy who gets shot very obviously in the heart and just kind of shakes it off they're in this cool beat-up jeep and he gets shot in the heart by the guy on the skateboard

who's riding it with his hands. Been smoking some heavy doobies, yeah. The heavy doobies guy who they explode with a bazooka. And he goes into the hospital to get patched up. I mean, he's dead. Like, he got shot in the fucking heart. You can see where the bullet wound is because of all the blood. It's in his heart. But he's like, ah, you know, I've been heart. You can see where the bullet wound is because of all the blood. It's in his heart.

But he's like, ah, you know, I've been better. And he rocks into the hospital and then lets you know that he got a blowjob from one of the nurses while he was in there getting stitched up. Yeah. Pretty cool. Good news and bad news. The bad news is, I can't remember what he says. It's like, I'm going to be out of action for a while it's not something like that i'll be slow good news is there was a very cute nurse um uh i think what i think i can't remember if i remember any other lines off the top of my head

the sound mix rules the soundtrack i struggled to understand many lines of dialogue particularly in the first half of the movie I was like wait what what was that but there's the beauty of it it doesn't really matter the fucking credit sequence for this in the intro and outro is they've slapped printed out sheets of

A4 on crates that are being moved around inside a warehouse like you're watching a goddamn 48 hours movie. That's all you need. We just need the names. All that stuff really works. It all, it's,

it's, yeah, it's crazy to see a movie that knows its own identity so well. Like all of the stuff that you might take issue with in a different movie or if the parts of other parts of the movie were done differently. Like it all just, it all works it's just so fucking fun it's like watching uh this is a bad comparison because it's very niche but it's like going to a you know a comedy show where the show is not perfect but whoever's presenting it knows that and it's just having so much fun inside of this you know the stupid ideas

they're presenting and it's got exactly it's got exactly the same light energy where it's like hey this is what's happening if you like it you're gonna love it and if you don't it's entirely on you because i don't care there it is wholly unapologetic here's a movie what what a movie's bit of escapism we're gonna be on an island uh there's lots of beautiful women walking around topless or a bare minimum braless we've got some hot hunky dudes with great hair we've got some badass lines of dialogue and guess what everyone there's a cancer rat infested fucking snake on the prowl so if you ever get bored just remember that fucking snake might just pop up and brighten up your day there's a really good scene where i was sort of

getting a handle on just how much uh nudity that that they wanted to get in this film where the two the two people from the agency after they found the diamonds they returned back to their house or whatever where they live and like we're gonna go to the jacuzzi we do our best thing in the diamonds they return back to their house or whatever where they live and like we're going to go to the jacuzzi we do our best thing in the jacuzzi and the next scene you see them in the jacuzzi and like it's literally just an opportunity for them to strip down to their underpants and sit in the jacuzzi because as soon as they touch the water or maybe this just representation of how good their thinking is in the jacuzzi they solve the problem like they both spend cumulatively less than 10 seconds in the jacuzzi it solved the problem like they both spent cumulatively less than 10 seconds in the jacuzzi it's like that is not the function of you know no one's ever enjoyed a 10 second

trip to a jacuzzi especially not in fucking hawaii and what looks like summer why are they so jazzed about going to the hot tub man it's hot out who knows place you want to be that's literally though i will say this the only issue with that film is how confusingly excited they are to get in hot water there's something so fucking cool about a remote controlled helicopter it's in the start of the movie it's transporting the diamonds even the guys on the boat who were driving it they're like man there's got to be a fucking better way for us to transport these diamonds yeah and they're like nah man nah this is the way we've always done it we've got this very cool remote controlled helicopter which is like perfectly to scale it's so cool i think it's run on some sort of like gas engine as well because it looked like

it was pumping out a bit of exhaust man they just they don't have stuff like that anymore because everything's done with batteries you know that's a real bit of 1987 right there a remote controlled helicopter that i think might have a tiny little engine like a petrol engine in it that felt like a very futuristic piece of technology to appear in the film yeah futuristic for 1987 but you know we're still using i mean not not the same technology but we're using drones the same way that that guy was using you know totally that's what yeah this was i was like this was this was a drone in 1987, doing the exact same thing. In fact, drones can't carry shit, so this was better than a drone.

What did you make of that final tussle with the snake there, Guy, when it pops up out? I knew that was going to happen too. They were getting so fucking long on that toilet. I was like, I'll bet the snake's in there. I am someone who, I don't know if i've spoken about this with you before tim when i was a boy i used to there was a like a next to my room there was just a you know like a toilet and i'd go and i before i go to bed or whatever i'd do a wee or a

poo and then when i'd flush the toilet i was convinced i had to run into my room and get on top of my bed before i could hear the toilet stop flushing because otherwise i thought a snake was going to come up out of the toilet and attack me like eat my penis off or something i don't know where this fanciful idea came from and so to see someone playing on that exact sort of uh notion or fear i found it really satisfying and quite unnerving um i loved it i mean and yeah i do i love the obviousness with which it's like we're really hanging out at the toilet here you can't help but feel like something's coming out of that toilet yeah and i know there's

a snake out there so although they did say that the snake would be dead within 36 hours due to its own condition which i was like man i don't under what are they doing with this this what's going on with it so okay let's they don't justify the existence of the snake beyond just saying what it is the guy who's on com so i'm calling charlie because they've got a very charlie's angel's relationship with him his Charlie Because they've got a very Charlie's Angel Relationship with him His name's not Charlie though But he's like You guys

You got the wrong snake But what does that even mean? That means there's a right snake That they were supposed to transport onto the island I don't I don't get what their job is They were maybe meant to transport a healthy snake And this other snake's been quarantined

For whatever reason uh i also don't understand what their job is that they keep talking about working at the agency and i can't tell if the agency is like federal approved or if it's just this sort of bootleg well at the this here's the weird thing at the end of the movie they're all on the boat and one of the two who are the leading ladies in this film is like hey guess what i'm the only one who knows where the diamonds are and technically i'm not a federal agent but you guys are and as federal agents you have to tell the government where the goods are if we find them but i am under no such obligation so i'm going to find

the diamonds for us and then you're going to share in the wealth of it and that's the end of the movie so like i guess i don't think the movie knows is what i'm saying because those which is fine for me i don't mind those two women are totally in cahoots the whole movie and And then in the last scene, they're like, and we didn't actually formally work together. One of us was just joyriding. Yeah. Which is suggested nowhere else in the movie that they're on unequal footing. But fucking why not? That's fine.

Whatever. Do whatever you want. You've earned it. Yeah. You know? And yeah, literally do whatever you want. And they it yeah you know and yeah literally do whatever you want and they do a tidy little

90 minute run time more 90 minutes is so tasty when we hit on them yeah man very grateful

for a 90 minute film more like more stunts and hokey effects than you can shake a stick at like just yeah you've got to see

the snake emerging from the toilet they've gone ham on the face of the hazer they've got lights coming up behind it for some reason it explodes out of that porcelain i've and i've just i've just i mean i'm just so excited i'm gonna watch it again after this i've just googled the frisbee scene on youtube yeah and uh it's got the whole scene set up to conclusion it's at 1 minute 52 hard ticket to hawaii for us to be seen on youtube 2.3 million views wow way what a film yeah i think the internet knows knows about this to a degree but uh if if you don't i mean you voted for us to watch it but if you don't get into it get into it we didn't know about this i'd never heard of this film but people

keep putting it on the the patreon list i'm so glad that it had its day in court and we're standing in court um and look the jury has come to a unanimous decision we find this movie guilty of having the most fun yeah yeah absolutely the rare movie that I would grade 10 out of 10

10 out of 10 far out we'll go with that what a do 10 out of 10. Far out. That's what it is. What I do. Yep. We have spoken. So thank you to everyone who voted. Yeah.

Thank you a lot. Keep voting. A real delight for us. Keep throwing us the cool, crazy, quirky pictures that you love to see us watch. And if you're in or you're near london town a reminder that we will be visiting with a very special live show on the uh seven the sixth of september as part of the london podcast festival at king's place you can get tickets now they are on sale um there's an event on the worst

idea facebook page if you want to look there and that's got all the details and the ticket links and whatnot um that that show is going to be very cool and yeah quite special we're still putting the um the works together on all of that but it's going to be great you got anything to plug monty you got shows coming up? I actually do. The Edinburgh Fringe Festival. For anyone in the United Kingdom or the surrounding areas of Scotland, I will be there starting from, I'm about to fly there right now, starting from July 31st to August 25th.

I'm doing my show every single night except the 14th at 8.55 at the Assembly George Square Studios. I would love to see anyone there or for you to send anyone you might know along. I am so excited and only slightly apprehensive. It's going to be great. You're going to have a great season. You are going to have a great season. you are gonna have a great season.

If you're in Auckland, even if you're just visiting, I've started a new show on Wednesday nights called Hump Comedy, because it's on a Wednesday, you see. And they're fucking delightful. They're in this tiny little concrete beer bunker. It's a good time, so come to that. They're only 10 bucks.

Cheap as. Okay, that does it on the plugs. Thank you so much for supporting us on Patreon. You beautiful assholes keep us alive, thriving, creating this thing. And you're part of us, and we're part of you forevermore. God bless Andy Sedaris. Rest in peace. And God bless Hard T ticket to Hawaii.

It's not paradise all the time. It's a hard ticket to Hawaii.