The Worst Idea Of All Time - VOTE FOR GUY

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Guy Montgomery has done the impossible and created a television show that not only has survived more than one season in New Zealand, it has taken over Australia and he has been nominated for the prestigious Graham Kennedy Award for Most Popular New Talent at the Logies (Aus' Emmys). Please help him win. It's dead simple, head on over to the Logies website and vote.On an unrelated note, here's a guide to VPNs: au.pcmag.com/vpn/138/the-best-vpn-services Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time. Hi everyone. Welcome to Family Time. I am in Auckland, New Zealand, Aotearoa, God's Own. Yeah, and you're Timbette and you've got your sunglasses on because... I'm feigning summer. I see you're feigning summer.

Lovely, lovely spelling word. Um, li-a-y-f-e-i-g-n-i-n-g. Yeah, brother. Feigning. One for the Timbo. I'm joined by my esteemed colleague, spell master, Guy Montgomery. I don't know who was in charge of putting the words together that day, Tim, but let's just say that heads would have been rolling. Um, that's right.

And I'm not in Auckland, New Zealand. I am in Adelaide, if you're curious room 1309 at the sofa tell on Curry street. Dude, I am going to put this out pretty soon. So I hope it's not a long visit. Uh, how soon is now? Now make sure you're on the plane. It's good.

Yeah, I leave, I leave tomorrow. So I feel pretty confident that I'm going to get away with it. Dude, everyone in Adelaide is famously chilled out. No one's getting, no one's going to. The vibes are good here. I always have a good time coming here. I'm on the last leg of my Australian stand-up tour for the year and I'm loving it. I've been out stretched the legs got out down along the the river. What are you running at the moment guy?

It's six kilometers. It's just like a steady It's six kilometers and half an hour. I know how long it takes I know how fit you know, like it's it's not It's like a bolted on means of fitting exercise into my day Five minute kilometers ain't nothing to sneeze at. That's a good pace I think in my in my dotage. I think i'm pretty happy with it You know, like when I was a younger man, I used to be pushing for dotage I think I'm pretty happy with it you know like when I was a younger man I used to be pushing for four minute K's and then you know through the early 20s I was or like then yeah then through mid 20s to mid 30s I was like 430 like

at least for shorter runs and now I can't even be asked trying to run quickly I'm like just run how fast your body wants to go. That's good but there's also in my book it's still pretty quick I've finally done my 10th run, which means I'm allowed to enroll myself into a half marathon at the end of the year, because of an arbitrary rule I made up for myself. Congratulations. Is that Auckland? I don't know. I haven't decided which one I'll do yet. But I said, Tim, you want to do a half marathon, you have a lot of

ideas. What you need to do is do 10 runs before you're allowed to sign up to one. And then I did two runs and then I caught COVID again. Oh, son of a gun. Well, welcome back to Run Club and I'm excited for that. If you do all, if the all club might, you get to run across the harbour bridge, which is pretty sick. That's pretty cool. Maybe I'll do that one.

That seems nice. And also then I can just go home afterwards. That's pretty cool. Maybe I'll do that one. That seems nice. And also then I can just go home afterwards. That's right. I was thinking, I was thinking about what it would be like to do just a tiny bit of acid on a half marathon. It would be interesting. I do think the people like the volume of people who have all agreed to go for a run at the same time would certainly be confusing and funny.

I would also suggest though, just in terms of physiology, perhaps there's some research you'd run on your body before race day. So maybe, maybe not. We'll see how it goes. At any rate, just a little thought I had in addition to the other thoughts. Hey, this is a little bit of a special communique because something important is happening right now that you can be a part of. And I don't think this show often takes the time that it should to celebrate the incredible

career of my colleague Guy Montgomery. And I am taking a rare moment to pause from the sarcasm and bullying I normally engage in to do some good old fashioned earnest plugging of my boy, Guy Mont. Guy, the last few years, you've been absolutely on fire. And that has sort of culminated in this incredible television show, which has taken over both New Zealand and Australia, Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spellingby. Not only have you shot your star into the stratosphere, but you have been one of the few television products that is helping the careers of other comedians and broadcasters in

Oceania. What a fucking thing. Thankfully, this has, and this isn't often the case, been noticed by the higher ups, the suits, the people in charge pulling the strings. And thus you have been nominated for a real special accolade as part of the Logies, which as I understand it are Australia's premier television awards. I'm going to hand the baton over to you now. That was borderline overwhelming. Thank you so much, Tim. I had no idea you've been paying attention.

I don't like to let you know. You've got enough people letting you know. No, yeah. Look, the Logies are like, it's hard to quantify. I suppose, what's the television one in America? Is it the Emmys? The Emmys? Yeah.

It's the Emmys, but with a populist bent. So the Emmys, I think, are all, you have to be sort of verified to get involved in the voting process. It's true for a lot of the Logie Awards, but some of them are pure popular votes. So they are purely put out to the people of Australia specifically. You have to have an Australian IP address. That's what I'll say. You don't have to be in Australia, but you do have to have an Australian IP address to vote. And so the one I'm nominated for, which is called the Graham Kennedy, uh, most popular newcomer award, which is one of their press, like that's one of the

prestige ones is, um, I'm nominated. I'm recognized as a newcomer in this, the year of our Lord, 2025, which is. Potentially true as perceived by the Australian public. Certainly I would have liked to think I'd have a little more hair on my head by the time this moment rolled around, but, um, you can, yeah, like you can vote. And the more people that vote for me, the more likely it is I will win. And I got to say, I would love that. I would actually love to win an Australian television award

Um, some things running against me in this I am the only New Zealand New Zealander nominated for the award also the only man so my Backwards sort of New Zealand ass is in the way of a huge sweep of, you know, a movement here in Australia, celebrating Australian woman. And I say, not yet. Would you prefer for me to rally my community of the men's rights activists crew

to sort of jump on board the campaign, or do you feel that would be detrimental to the wider voting public? I don't think we need to specifically publicise which votes we're courting. I would just say that if you are listening, if you're listening to a family time and you're sort of eight or so minutes into the podcast, please, if you've got the means and the time, head along to the Logies website and put together a vote for me. I believe they encourage you to vote in all categories.

I'm not sure if that's strictly necessary. You might be able to skip over the ones where you don't know what you're talking about, but it's just like your high school exam guys, CC, AB, ABC, Guy Montgomery. Exactly. I'm the answer to question 21. Um, and yeah, it's look, the other thing I'll say is that Chelsea, my beloved actually won this award in 2011 when it was judged on merit, not popularity. She won this for being an

outstanding actor and recognized as such. She was given the award by Australian television royalty Rove. She was given the award by Australian television royalty, Rove. She often tells me that when she got the award from Rove, she'd say, thanks, Rove. This was well before, obviously, I knew she was even in the world. We've done a house rejig recently, and we've both been lucky enough to win some things, big and small, for different professional achievements, some of which you are incredibly proud, others of which obviously it's a delight to win, but maybe you don't hold us in highest value.

All of these awards have been taken out of the actual house. So except for when my nomination rolled in, the logy has been put back in the house. So the except for when my nomination rolled in, the logie has been put back in the house. So that there is like an asshole specter of a guy. That's right. And it hangs it hangs over me, like the sword of Damocles. This is a one hitter. You get one chance to be the best newcomer. And so I turn to you, our solo listener, hat in hand, saying, please take the time out of your day to get involved in the Vote

Montgomery 2025 campaign. You're a libertarian. You understand the crypto markets. I think you've probably got a good head for how, you know, to establish an Australian IP address would work for voting purposes. know what I mean yeah you know what I say there's very probably no way anyone could vote outside of Australia oh yeah yeah I actually got the acronym wrong in my head for a second what is he talking about no there's very I mean I say VPN there's very probably no way that you could get involved.

But if you are so inspired, please. You got to do it soon as well. You got to do it like, you honestly have to do it now. Yeah, do it. It's the award, voting closes and the awards are held on the 3rd of August. Assuming you're in America, that means you have to vote by the 2nd of August because time is different down here. Well, you're obviously not in America if you're to vote by the second of August because time is different down here. Well, you're obviously not in America if you're voting. You're in Australia. Your IP address is in Australia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If your computer's in America, but your heart is in Australia. This is the interesting thing about the internet, you know. We are now sort of existing as a superorganism with distributed organs around the world.

So I say, yes, we Australia, you know, we're all Australia. To make it easy, I don't do the back end, but we're going to have the link to the Logies website and the show notes. Surely we're going to have the link to the Logies website. I might even unsponsored, add some instructions for just if anyone's curious about how to add a VPN to your computer. You know, it's not it's not complicated. It's not rocket science, the stuff, but it would be tremendously helpful for a very deserving winner, Guy Montgomery, who must vanquish these women nominees. I've been imagining, it's funny thing you know, they're very rarely do you get nominated for anything and you have to imagine what you would say. I've got, we

now got nominated for the Fred Award, which is like a stand-up comedy award in New Zealand. I had this dream of Award, which is like a standup comedy award in New Zealand. I had this dream of using, like it's a weird judgment process for the Fred Award in the New Zealand Comedy Festival. Basically, you get nominated for your show, your hour long show, and then part of the judging process

is that you all perform 10 minute sets, all the nominees, and then you also judge on that. This is at the close of the festival. In the last night of the festival. And I became consumed by the idea of using my 10-minute set to read out a thank-you speech as I had misunderstood what was happening and I had one I Obviously, you know that it's a different circumstance, but I have this vision of like having written a speech and

going if I was to win getting to go on stage and taking like, and you know, taking the speech out of the pocket of my jacket and opening it up and saying, this is such a surprise. I haven't thought to prepare anything, but very clearly reading that exact sentence. That's pretty good. I like that. You know, it would be cool

that I've never seen anyone do before. Everyone goes into the breast pocket to pull out their, you know, speech if they've got prepared notes. Do that, but pull out a dove. And then followed up by saying, you know what, I thought I'd just wing this one. You reach into your pocket to pull out your smartphone and take a selfie with everyone. I mean, I guess you do now, don't you? I'm a real old man about that kind of stuff. But anyway, the point is you got to get voting.

I would recommend get your friends and family voting too, because it costs you nothing. It does cost you nothing. The logies, I will say, they will have your email address, but they're not going to use it. It would be, you gotta trust them. And who doesn't have your fucking email address with this? Hard out. You know, this would be a tremendous moment in history that you'll be a part of if we manage to get guy across the line. that you'll be a part of if we manage to get Guy across the line.

It's, it is, it is honestly so awesome that you're nominated. Whatever happens, it is, I think it is such a win that you are that you nominated, my man. Thanks, brother. Spectacular. And we'll do everything that we can to try and get you to take it out. But come what may, you'll always be a winner in my eyes, Guy. I will love you. I'll tell you a little, now while we're here, I will tell you, just because that made me think of the medley from Moulin Rouge, a movie I've not seen, but I've heard this soundtrack many times because mum simply adored it.

Anyhow. You really should watch it. It's very good. While making the spelling bee for the ABC, the like the the EPs and the legal team have been incredibly supportive. We've gotten away with being able to say all sorts of different sentences. Someone claimed that Queen Elizabeth II is currently in hell on your show, which is a staggering claim to my, I do receive occasional DMS from outraged audience members, but that's fine. That's part of being alive today. Fuck. I will

tell you this. Sorry. This is a bloody an open tab in an open tab. But so I was, I was talking to someone, it might have been Dan Rath. I was talking to someone that was talking about like how people reach out to you on the day of a show to ask for information and sometimes you can give it and sometimes you can't and both of those are fine. If you want to give it, that's great. If you don't, I also think that's totally fine. He's like, like I might be misattributing the joke, but they're like, yeah, you know, um, Mick Jagger never had anyone asking him about parking. It is funny, isn't it?

Well, that's by the by just because I was singing the mega mix from Moulin Rouge. May remember the one joke that we've been told in two seasons of making spelling be in Australia. We weren't allowed to use was a joke. I can't remember the particulars. I think it was about, if not about Moulin Rouge, certainly about a strict of Baz Luhrmann. An Australian? Yeah. And the sentence was along the lines of a great, it was about the movie Australia, maybe it was like, ah, Australia, an allegedly great film made by, no, yeah, or maybe it

was Moulin Rouge, it was like an allegedly great film made by a lead. No, yeah. Or maybe it was Moulin Rouge was like an allegedly great film made by allegedly straight filmmaker, Baz Luhrmann. And the use of allegedly inside of describing Baz Luhrmann was, um, we were told was out of line. Uh, Guy, I will tell you, I am shocked to is, is Baz Luhrmann straight? Yeah. Okay. Huge news for Timbo.

I mean, we're seeing almost all of his movies. That was the same response I had in the writers room when they all told me, you know, and far be it from me to care or speculate about anyone's lifestyle or preferences. Absolutely. Live your life. But also objectively, it's a surprise. It's just genuinely surprising. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. Good on you, Bear. Is he married? Yes, he's married. There was also, then Thomas telling me, there was like a TikTok of some just person on the street. Yes, I've seen that.

Doing that, and they were like, what's your marital status or something? I feel like it was in the States, maybe. Yeah, whatever it was. Yeah whatever it was. It was like I'm gonna ask a stranger what they do for a living and it was Bear's Lorman. I wouldn't know if I was talking to Bear's Lorman. I wouldn't be able to put him in a line out. Absolutely not. Anyhow also Tim and family time style I've got some correspondence to share with you. That would go. Yeah, I'd love to hear this one comes from Stephen

McDonald Yeah, son my son. I doing this podcast. It's very silly It's a law school and get a degree Hey boys I recently visited a California beach town called Santa Cruz and stumbled across a mutual acquaintance Thought you might appreciate the closure knowing that he did eventually find his true calling and wouldn't you know it it is a picture of a storefront for an Italian restaurant called Zaccoli's. Z-O-C-C-O-L-I-S Spelled Z O C C O L I S

It's the Italian delicatessen A family-owned business and it is real Speaking of Ziccoli Old mate had a movie that came out not too long ago about a wrestling Family dynasty the iron, the iron giant? Or no, was that? So something like that. That was maybe- It wasn't the iron giant.

That was a Disney movie, but it was something like that. I- Iron Claw! Iron Claw, yeah, I really wanted to see it. And then I just, it was just another one of those things I didn't see. Chris Parker was really moved by that film. Really? Oh, that's right, yeah, I heard him talking about that because I think he's talking about a

Male gaze perhaps and it's quite affecting. I watched um The traders US season 3 recently and Ziccoli's brother his real-life brother Dylan was like one of the contestants on the show And he seemed like a legend. I Think they might all be legends perhaps. Yeah. I hope. I hope I'm right. Okay. Anyhow. More correspondence from our lovely fans. Thank you. I'm glad that Zicoles exists as a restaurant with similar spelling to the way that we did it. For seeing it and thinking of it. Subject line, how Guy Montgomery nearly ruined my son's birth. If I read this already, because I've read that this I know this one.

Does this ring a bell? Well, it's news to me. I reckon I've definitely read it. Interesting. Anyway. Yeah. OK, I'm going to read this. I think this should ring a bell for you dear Tim crisis and Guy father 3 Nothing so far. I nearly missed the birth of my son because of guy nothing Was they in Melbourne? Nope. Let me rewind

I'm a Brit who's been eagerly waiting for either of you to return to the UK ever since you were legendary UK podfest Appearance all those years ago. So imagine my shock and joy when Guy finally announced a gig in London on the 16th of August. Naturally I bought tickets immediately. This is last year I'm assuming. Yeah. Not this year. Guy's not coming on the 16th of August this year. Unfortunately, well at least not to London. Hey y'all. Unfortunately that gig happened to be the day before my wife's due date. You can imagine how well that idea went down when I mentioned a trip to London to see Guy, which I assured here wouldn't be more than four hours.

Five tops. Spoiler, it did not go down well, and rightly so. Because of course, our son was born right on his due date. Parentheses, only 4% of babies are born on their due date. Parentheses only 4% of babies are born on their due date. Had I gone to the show I would have missed at least half the labor and possibly the birth. Thankfully I saw a sense and my mate went in my place and assured me it was a brilliant show. Good enough to miss the birth of my child? I guess I'll never know. It's fair to say that naming our son Guy or Tim was firmly off the table after that.

My wife was, let's say, not your biggest fan that day. Say my name, even if it isn't Will. P.S. real talk, you've both genuinely helped me feel more confident as a new dad. Watching you evolve from the frosty fellas to the frosty dads and hearing you talk about parenthood with joy, calmness and just the right amount of chaos has made the whole thing feel less terrifying and a lot more fun. What a beautiful message and I'm so respectfully guy, so glad that Will did not go to your show.

Yeah, and I don't I don't remember hearing that so I look we make our decisions and we live with them Will and I'm not gonna take it personally, you know at different stages in life, we have different priorities. I will tell you this. August 14, 2025, I uploaded the show to YouTube. So why not boot it up for the first birthday? Get the family around. Nice. That's great.

A great coda. I'm really glad you didn't miss the birthday of your child, though, Will. Yeah, that feels like a biggie. Is that a biggie? Yeah, man, it's a biggie parent. It is fun. Everyone everyone moans about it. It's awesome It is crazy. If you want to have some kids some kids To I've got one Go on hi Timbo and guy guy. You know what the problem is? Not everyone's got my wife.

So I guess it's less good for them. You just got to get yourself a Zoe. Blow her out man. This is again, I'm all over the show today, but there was a, I was rewatching it. You know, sometimes YouTube just gives you something that you know, but you love and you click it again. Norm MacDonald doing a battle act. My wife is a real battle axe jokes on Conan O'Brien and one of them is goes before I met my wife I was incomplete now. I'm finished Wow, that's good

It is fantastic Anyway middle of readings up night. Yeah. Hi Timbo and guy guy I was introduced to the pod by my friend listen to all of season two and I'm now about halfway through You're in the middle of readings up, mate. Yeah. Hi Timbo and Guy Guy. I was introduced to the pod by my friend that listened to all of season two and I'm now about halfway through season three. Damn, getting a lot of we are your friends style correspondence here. So I am aware that I may be approximately a decade too late on this, but ah well. And friends owned approximately 23.

You discussed cardboard cutouts of Zac Efron. I happen to have one such cutout in my possession Which maybe aptly I own because of my work as a DJ It's a high school musical era Zac not we are your friends are Coley But I'm coming to see guy to stand up in Newcastle New South Wales this Thursday far out. This was last week I missed the window And would be honored to present this to you as a gift no idea how you'll get it back to NZ with you But that's really none of my business Please reply to this message if you'd like me to do this is if you read it on the podcast

I will not get to the episode for another three and a half years. It'll be a nice little surprise for future me But not great logistically as I don't have access to a time machine many kisses for a kiss always a gift But not great logistically as I don't have access to a time machine. Many kisses for a kiss is always a gift. Rachel Cox. So close. You can read my name out. That's crazy how close we got. That is Real Ships in the Night territory.

What now? Put yourself back as you 10 days ago. You get that message. What happens? It is so inconvenient and I am driving from Newcastle to Wollongong. What kind of car did you hire? It was a Kia Carnival.

We could have made it work. Dude, you could have because a cardboard cutout is big in two dimensions, but very small and the dimension is Z. It's the flight home, which is the challenge and look truth be told Tim, the place I would want to see it would be in the studio and I would gladly house it in here depending on the height I know exactly where it would go I'm actually looking at it right now to go right up against the cupboard how good would the studio look with the Zac Efron cardboard cutout in there it'd look fantastic I tell you what it couldn't

hurt could have actually got it's quite funny deciding what should stay in here and what should go. Cause I've got to like start getting, you know, clients in here to pay this thing back. Cause it costs quite a lot of money. And I borrowed that from the bank to build this thing. And I've got two incredibly high ranking former members of the government coming in here to do a test podcast next week.

And it would just be so good to have a few things around like a giant Zack Efron just greeting people at the door. Let them know they're at your house, you know Yeah, exactly. It is hard to know where you know on the on the spectrum of things to make it a white label space for people to come in to make it their own and For me to throw my weight around and go, you're in my fucking castle now. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I understand the podcast is about politics, but Zac Efron has to stay.

It would be good as what I would like about that. If I put it where I want it to, if you were in here recording, you couldn't help but see him looking at you the entire time, but the cameras wouldn't pick it up. So you just have this, the eyes of Zac Efron on you, sort of measuring every comment and opinion that you put out there. It would make everyone like play up, be a bit more fun because you know, you'd want to impress them. I think so. That's my belief anyway.

Yeah, I think that's right. Um, I think we should probably close it off on that. The important thing to remember is to hypothetically get yourself a VPN. I'm not going to dress it up too much. I don't have to. I'm not Guy. And vote in the Logies to make sure that Guy wins best newcomer, which is a vote bestowed by poor, calculated by popular vote solely.

So the power is ours. I'm going to be there on the night. I wonder if they'll do the thing where when they do the nominees, you'll get the, I wonder if I'll like get to lose on camera. Yeah, that'd be so sick too. You should still do the dove thing. But if you look, yeah, if I lose, I lose but with the thing is if I lose they um do a magic trick they put in the box they put they push into the winner

you know which is fair enough it's their moment but wouldn't it be funny if the money is the video switching technology like they do in the Emmys where they've got all the losers in a box you know simultaneously on screen so you can see all of them but that would be a great opportunity to do that. I'd love to like, yeah, release a dove or take out my speech and start ripping it up into little pieces. Just eat it. Just get a bit of a for just put it in your mouth, start chewing on it.

So look, you can't lose guy. You really can't. Yeah. Um, well, Tim, it's been an absolute pleasure. It's an honor. Thank you to everyone who's been in touch with the new, with the babies, with the cardboard, with the Italian family owned businesses, it's always a pleasure. And let's not close the door to the Zac Efron cutout joining us in the studio.

I feel like maybe there's some other ways to get him over here. In three and a half years, when our listener, Rachel in Newcastle hears this, reach out. Yeah. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea. It's the worst idea of all time.