The Yak - A Mysterious Chicago Billionaire Is Feeding The City's Rats And No One Knows Why: Mon Oct 12, 2026

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyakYou can find every episode of ...this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. It's the yak. Welcome in. Cell Blue Coffee. Go right now. Amazon or Circle K or Target or 711 or Stella Blue Coffee. Trying to save a thousand dogs this year. Go to Stellablu Coffee. Get your great coffee today and save some dogs. Hello, everyone. What's up? How's everyone doing? Pretty good. the vibes. Good. Good. Really, really good. Really good. Tives wearing sports. Really good. It's beautiful today. Beautiful day. Why are the vibes really good? What's up with the vibes? Why? Brandon had a lot of energy
Starting point is 00:01:12 this morning. I know. Brandon was doing a lot of, and he didn't give me a heads up and I was fine with it, but there was a lot of like every college football game, but he was like, you motherfucker, like he was pointing at the camera, like, you motherfucker said that this would happen and it didn't happen. And then you'd go on to the next game and he just kept doing that. Yeah, I'm shot out of Canada. Yeah. What motherfuckers are saying what? Oh, motherfuckers just be saying shit. Or are you just found one guy who said something?
Starting point is 00:01:36 Dude, motherfuckers be saying shit. You know motherfuckers be saying shit. But does it just take one person to say shit? Motherfuckers be saying shit. Yeah, because I fall in that trap all the time where I'm like, everyone's saying this. It's like, it was one fucking guy. It was a tweet with no likes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:49 No, Brandon had it today. Yeah. It's good to see that you still got a fastball when you want to. Yeah. I wasn't sure who you're doing. That's a lot of innings. Yeah. Did you watch all?
Starting point is 00:01:58 the ball? I watch all the ball. This is like he was basically like Justin Verlander throwing against the Savannah bananas coming soon next year. Nice. Good to see it out there. Yeah. We're in back. Watch a lot of ball. Watch a lot of balls. It's a good ball weekend. When you address these motherfuckers who are saying shit, how much of it is on
Starting point is 00:02:14 Twitter versus other social media? It can be all social media, but most of it's on Twitter. Motherfuckers don't say too much shit on Motherfuckers be saying shit. Nobody's saying shit on Instagram, right? Oh, I get a lot of Oh, yeah. They hate on. They hate every, they find any They'll find everywhere to hate you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:32 They'll just... I've been saying shit. I've gotten some emails. Yeah, I'll get hard... I'll get hard... I'll get hard mail. Actually. Hate...
Starting point is 00:02:39 No, actually, those are always nice. Appreciate everyone who writes letters. I'll get to them every now and then where it's like... I would love a letter. A letter that just said, fuck you. We should write letters to each other. I would. Love a letter.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Well, you should have gotten one. No? Oh, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did. But... Sometimes I'll have a letter and I'll just someone be like, I got one the other day.
Starting point is 00:03:03 It was just like, just want to say thanks for all the laughs. I was like, fuck, man. That was awesome. Handwritten letter? Yeah. It like actually kind of made my day. That's really nice. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Like the world sucks and everyone's so negative. You can go find negative shit about you all the time. It's like one person just wrote them like, hey man, thanks for all the laughs. Watch, watch everything. Love what you guys are doing. Damn. That's, do you guys read Kyle spreads the mail out on the counter back there? I always stop and read it.
Starting point is 00:03:29 And it is always. So nice. I know. It's like lovely. It's really nice. That's really refreshing. Yeah. It's a good reminder that the majority of people who consume our content aren't online giving constant feedback.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yeah. I was online this week telling Kate she should leave the act. And I was like, I wish somebody, I should just write this on a letter. Yeah. Mail it to me and then I'll see it. I'm only accepting hate via postcard from now on. Dude, if you got a hate postcard? That actually means something.
Starting point is 00:03:59 With a beautiful image of a snowy mountain or something? They'd take time. They'd get a stamp. They'd have delivered to the mailbox. Hey, Danny, we're in Bora Bora. You thought you'd know. Even at my happiest thing. I'd think about how much I fucking hate you.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I would take that seriously. I just got done fucking my wife. My brand new wife. I had three my tides and I still... Can't give my mind off. Does anybody ever say fuck you for Borobor? Fuck you. Hey,
Starting point is 00:04:25 Big Catam in Hawaii on my honeymoon. I just want to let you know. you shoving Mincy down our throats, pissing me to fuck off. I just went down a speed slide on a remote island. I just, it popped in my head but Mincy's got to go. Yeah. I just fucked my wife and then jumped
Starting point is 00:04:43 into the crystal clear ocean. And God damn it, will you stop bringing him on the hat? You ruined my Monday to Friday from Banff. Cheers. Dude, hating Mincy from a lagoon. Writing out that you hate Mincy from a lagoon.
Starting point is 00:04:59 That's some good shit. The postcard industry has to be fuck, bro. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's basically... Collector's items now, right? Yeah. I was about to have something really stupid.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah. Let's just go for it. Yeah. No, it was really dumb. That was a really dumb one. I see how hard I stopped? It was a screeching halt. I slammed on the break. No breaks.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Records correct. I slammed on the... What? I was going to say, do stamps still exist. Oh. Keep that shit to yourself. Yeah. Dumb fuck.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Literally, you could play it back, and the S came out, and I was like, stop. You're about to say something really stupid. Stamps still, but they're not dropping, like, good stamps anymore, right? No, they do. They mean something. All right, question. Yeah. Who in here can tell me how much a stamp cost today?
Starting point is 00:05:44 I'm going to say. Last time I kept track, it was 32. That was probably two decades ago. So you buy them by the book, right? I'll say high 30s. I remember when it went. No, I remember when it went, I feel like it's 40. 49?
Starting point is 00:05:56 Isn't it? No. What is it? Anybody know? I was always buying stamps with my grandma. Always. Yeah, I used to buy the whole sleeve, the book, yeah. Is a book or a roll bigger?
Starting point is 00:06:06 I don't know. I think it's to send just a letter. Just a standard letter. Well, how many stamps go on a standard letter? I'm saying 37 cents. I remember, too, the big, like, it would be like on Good Morning America when they're like, we got a new stamp, Muhammad Ali. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:20 It was a big deal. And it was like an honor to be on a stamp. Yeah. Right. What a fucking waste? Far ago. What do we think it is? Locked me in on 37.
Starting point is 00:06:29 I'm saying 37. No, that's when I was rubbing my grandpa's feet for stamps. It was 37. I'm going to say 62. There's no way. I think it's high 40s. 55.
Starting point is 00:06:39 I'll say 52 cents. I don't really know how it goes up. I don't understand it. Everything goes up. Yeah, but I don't understand stamps. I don't either. How much is it? What if I told you?
Starting point is 00:06:49 You're all under. Oh, it's, yeah. I see? I thought it's not over a dollar. It's probably like 92 cents or something. 82. Oh, my God. Wait, can we?
Starting point is 00:06:58 see the year over year because I feel like I remember it going to 50 a while ago. That's first class. I can put it at 32 in like 2004. What's a regular stamp? He doesn't know what stamps are. Yeah. Did you think you think you've got to know what stamps were? No, I think that's right. That's a regular stamp.
Starting point is 00:07:13 That's a regular. Standard size. Okay, give us, do you have the, is there a chart of over the years? I'd like to see it. Stamps are the years? They're all just American flags now, right? Are they doing cool ones? No, they still do. Okay, that's good. But they're extra, I think. But like, Cat, if they were like, hey, we're putting you on a stamp, would you give a shit?
Starting point is 00:07:30 I'd say, no thanks. I don't want to. People use it to send you hate mail. 82 cents. If they were like, hey, we're putting you on you on a stamp. Can you come out to, uh, I don't even know where. LHQ? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Where would it be like? Washington. No, not even Washington. If they were like, hey, can you come to the Buckingham fountain? We're going to put you on a stamp. I'd be like, I don't think so, man. Oh, you wouldn't go down the street. No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:07:55 What if they're, like, want to come here, but it'll take 15 minutes. I don't think so, man. Not worth it. At the big card collectors thing you guys went to, was there a stamp section? Do people still? Because stamp collecting used to it. I would imagine it's probably growing as a hobby
Starting point is 00:08:08 due to how much of a relic it is now. All right, here we go. All right, so where... 50 cents was 2017-ish. Then it went down? How do you do that? You can't do that. Well, 50 cents, yeah, he dipped in popularity.
Starting point is 00:08:23 All right, so... Damn. All right, I was wrong in that I thought, I thought 50 cents was hit a long time ago. I think I bought one book of Forever Stamps in 2005, and I've just held on to those, and those are the... That's good. And any time I need to mail something, I've...
Starting point is 00:08:41 I still have those. I had no idea that this is what stamps cost. Also, can I just say dog shit graph? Yeah, I didn't like it. And what was the dog? The years aren't the same. No, no. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:54 They just haphazard. Oh, yeah. 1981 to 1999 but also 2023 to 2025. It goes 18 years and it goes eight years and it goes six years. That's a terrible graph. That's from the USPS too. Dude, they don't know how to do a graph. Bad graph.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Nothing makes me more mad than a bad graph. Really? No. I am with you. The maddest you gets a bad graph. Yeah, because I'm not very smart. So when you put it in a visualization, I should be able to understand it really quickly. Oh, graphs are four people like you.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Correct. And that one was a bad one. These college football ones where it has the college football offense. Yeah. And I can't do all that. That's too much on the graph. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Yeah. I was looking at one of like good cities to live in. I saw that one. I zoomed in. I couldn't really decipher it. It was like two graphs in one. I didn't love it. I think we're in it.
Starting point is 00:09:49 It was like basically. Everywhere in America's bad value. Yes. It's kind of, it's almost like India propaganda. Just like, Oh yeah, I had like Vienna is the number one place to live. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Is that the one? Yeah. Because I didn't fully understand that either. There's a lot of these floating around. Plus livable cities. All right. Also, what does premium and life mean? Best value, bad value, budget living.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Look at New York. New York and Los Angeles both suck according to this? Well, you just. It's way too expensive. But like, I don't get that red line on the right. It's your, your 86,000 runs out here. Oh, so we're okay in Chicago. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:25 We're bad value, right? No, no, the other side. That much a year? Oh, that's budget living. Other side is. Where are the... No, no, we're bad. We're bad, but we're not the worst.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So the worst place would be New York. Yes. Like, what does... Okay. Too much going on. What's the best place to live? What's up in the top left? Are they factory in, like, New York's also really fun, even if you're...
Starting point is 00:10:50 Yeah, North Novgorod. Yeah, of course. And plov-div. I'm going to say. say this graph doesn't make sense because I don't I don't know anything about Islamabad but I'm I don't want to go there I don't live there I don't live in Florianapolis Florianapolis Liverpool
Starting point is 00:11:06 So Cal everybody shit on that On Liverpool? Yeah Where's Antalya? You want to be a top middle in this Where's Bursa? We're split Splits Croatia, Portos
Starting point is 00:11:19 Those are good places I would imagine There's no Brisbane Melbourne Yeah those I mean, nowhere in the U.S. besides Seattle is a premium life. Seattle's the only premium life in the United States. That's what it seemed like. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Well, no, there's premium life. Honolulu. Oh, Honolulu's. Expensive. It's super expensive because it's all the way to the right. Oh, Orlando. Orlando. Orlando is premium life.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Okay, who made this? This must have been made before they got rid of the Chili's in the airport. Has to be. Okay, that was Graf Talk. I want to give a shout out. Yeah, please do. This might be an old yak cut. I don't even know if it was on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Might have been serious. Do you all remember my wrestler, friend? Big trouble. Yeah. He was on the yack multiple times. Probably five or six years ago. Yeah. He made his main national debut.
Starting point is 00:12:16 No kidding. Wow. Showed up in TNA. He's as charismatic as he has gotten larger. He's gotten larger to us. Yeah. So he looks like he is kind of finally breaking through to the mainstream. Well deserved.
Starting point is 00:12:28 TNA, I mean, that's just, that's not wrestling. No, no, no, it's a wrestling company. I'm not talking about tits and ass. Right, I know. Like, you can't be like, we're TNA, the wrestling company. It's like, no, no, that's tits and ass. Yeah, it's a tough. That's how it worked.
Starting point is 00:12:42 That's how it started. Who owns TNA? I don't know who owns it now. Men. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like a celebrity. It's the number three company.
Starting point is 00:12:53 It's significantly behind WW and AWW, but it's a national. It's a big time opportunity. What's it to stand for? Total nonstop action. Yeah, that's tits and ass. Yeah. Which I think they told us it stands for total nonstop action while in the same time it also meant tits and ass. It's pretty wild that there are three of them going.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Oh. Like that's, yeah, good for them. It's good for them. Four or five. Well. What? Are four and five going? Four is.
Starting point is 00:13:24 What's four? Who's four? G. Who's the guy? Who's the guy? The Smashing Pumpkins guy. as a company right yeah yeah corgan gcw uh they're they're
Starting point is 00:13:33 they're national they tour i don't know what is that game changer for what was uh game changer game changer wrestling yeah but anyway uh big trouble bin bishop made his national debut last night on paper view so good for him billy corgan does nw i what there's another one yeah sorry what not the uh huh
Starting point is 00:13:50 what does that one stand for teach national wrestling alliance billy corgan is in n w a yeah to hear that out You could probably say it. Yeah. Oh. One time when I was still doing that show, he was offered to me as an interview, but I was disqualified.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I was told you cannot ever, you can't mention smashing pumpkins. You can't say anything. You can't. Don't bring it up. He'll walk out. And I was like, I can't trust myself to not mention. But that's also, that's a PR person. You just say, you just say yes to that?
Starting point is 00:14:31 and then you mention it. And he probably doesn't give a fuck. The dude himself doesn't give a fuck. We had that once with DeAndre Jordan. They're like, he's a vegetarian. Don't bring it up. And we're like, what? And then we brought it up.
Starting point is 00:14:41 He's like, yeah, I can talk about it. Yeah. Why does PR people do that? Why? I don't know. It's weird. Every comment would be like, why the fuck didn't you bring up smashing pumpkin?
Starting point is 00:14:54 Yeah. Right. Yeah. Correct. What show was that on? Um. morning sunshine Okay
Starting point is 00:15:02 Nice Can I bring up a local news story? Yes That's your guy's neck of the woods The Lincoln Park? Oh yeah the billionaire I cannot get enough This story
Starting point is 00:15:13 What's happening? Literally nuts Yep So people in the neighborhood In this Lincoln Park neighborhood They're walking around They're like man There's so many holes
Starting point is 00:15:21 Under the trees That's weird I think these are rat holes Why are there so many rat holes Here And then the early morning joggers start noticing that there's people walking around the neighborhood
Starting point is 00:15:30 with leather satchels sprinkling something on the ground. So finally, this one lady goes up to one of the sprinkers and is like, what are you doing? And the person goes, well, I'm definitely not sprinkling nuts for the rats. And the lady was like, what? And like the person kind of told on themselves, this, like, billionaire in the neighborhood
Starting point is 00:15:48 has been paying dozens of people to go out early in the morning with satchels of high-end European nuts. Yeah, to feed rats. And wrinkle them to feed their rats. Yeah. Why? To whatever. But why?
Starting point is 00:16:01 It directly affected me. I got one in my garage. Really? It bored a hole into my home. Really? Yeah. Apparently, there's so many rats there now that it's like the colony is so strong that it's like created a real. Like there's like a rat fight.
Starting point is 00:16:15 They had to like blow up Oz Park last year. Yeah. Build it because of the colony. What? I don't understand it. But why is he doing it? I don't understand why this guy's doing this. There was a few theories.
Starting point is 00:16:24 One was that he's trying to drive down housing values so he can buy up more stuff cheaply. Yeah, he's trying to drive people out. And then the other was that he's just trying to keep the rats away from his house. So that he's giving him, like, I don't know. So he's hiring people. He might just be crazy. Or he's just crazy. It's the move of a crazy man.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Yeah, that's a move of a guy who thinks he can talk to rats. But how do you get hired for us? It's like a Craigslistad? I guess so. That is. Easy job. I'm just fascinated by this story. Do you know who he is, like how he made his money? Kate, you should try to get hired. Should I?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yes. Let's get outside. Undercover. That would be awesome. Go up there, spread my own nuts around Lincoln Park. Is he like, yeah. But does feeding rats increase the rat population? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:10 It helps it. Yeah. Apparently it's like exploded there. And the alderman has done everything he can to find the guy. Like he looked at every rule in the book and all he can do is find this guy. But the guy's so rich, he's like, I don't care. And so now the alderman's like, help. What else do I do?
Starting point is 00:17:27 Because he's still doing it. They're like still out there feeding the rat. We need to get another billionaire who feeds the rats like poison nuts. Yeah. Or we need more cats. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We should get cats out there.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Bari. See. 94 years old. He's a crazy. He's a crazy guy at the last of life. Who's trying to just be like, I love rats. Electrical products. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:17:53 I don't know. But anyway, I'm just kind of fascinated by this story. Then if the cat problem. gets out of control we get dogs. Yeah. That's right to kill the cats. But I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know if you guys had seen.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Like, had you noticed. I haven't noticed. I saw the story. Procodiles. I mean, there's rats all over the place. Yeah. The alleys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Yeah, no, I haven't noticed. I got to keep an eye out. It's localized to Lincoln Park. He was doing it somewhere else first, and now he's doing it in Lincoln Park. I think this was a problem somewhere else. He's been doing it. It's kind of his thing. For a while, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:27 I would love me. thinks he can talk to rats. I would love if he did it for no reason. It was like, yeah, just kind of my thing. I just really get off on it. Maybe he's just trying to make, like, Ratatoui in real life. I need to talk to Dante about this. He was probably on this years ago.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Probably. He's got here. Wait, play that video real quick. A couple has been paying people to feed luxury nuts to the rats of Lincoln Park, and nobody knows why. Their neighbors kept finding piles of Brazil nuts and walnuts in and around parks by the Green City Farmers Market in Lincoln Park. That's already weird because those nuts are not cheap, but then they started seeing workers with match.
Starting point is 00:18:57 shoulder bags regularly dumping the nuts. WGN interviewed a neighbor who asked one of the workers what they were doing, and the workers' actual response was, we're not feeding the rats. He hadn't even mentioned rats. Alderman Timmy Knudson confirmed that the workers were being paid by a homeowner, and those homeowners were later identified as the billionaire couple, Barry and Barbara's side. So the city started issuing them multiple tickets, which they paid every time.
Starting point is 00:19:19 But here's the crazy part. The feeding actually increased after each ticket. Now it's actually getting out of hand. One person saw 42 rats in 15 minutes, in the park and now the alderman wants to sue the couple over all the damage the question we still don't have an answer to is why are they doing this wgn actually went to the house to try to find out and the woman who answered the door said this i really have no comment for you i'm sorry what the my personal theory here is that for some reason this couple hates the green city farmers markets so
Starting point is 00:19:46 much that they came up with one of the dumbest plans of all time to get it shut down this story's nuts let me know the comments imagine hating a farmer's market it's one of like the purest places on earth. But if you hate a place and you come up with a scheme to feed the rats nuts, so that place eventually gets shut down, you might be a genius? Yeah. But if you're a
Starting point is 00:20:10 billionaire, just buy farmers. Well, yeah. Buy the farmer's market, shut it down. Kelly Clarkson is going to be sprinkling. Whatever with her. Oh, Dan, it's incredible. She wants her singing bird. She wants a singing bird, and they treat her like Julia Robertson Pretty Woman.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Who side are you on? I think I'm on hers. I think I am too, but it seems like other people aren't. Really? I'm shocked to say this. I think Kelly's wrong. All right. Just drove all the way to Brooklyn and check out this store I thought looked really
Starting point is 00:20:37 rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn't afford it and was told he could find something comparable for me. Wow, dude, you're an idiot and just lost a huge sale, but you all should go check out. Art of Play in Brooklyn, if you enjoy being treated like Julia Roberts' character and Pretty Woman, for sure, check it out. All right. One message in. I think I'm on the store's side. Like I didn't like that.
Starting point is 00:20:57 I don't like her, you know, deifying herself and all, you know, all that. I don't like all that. But then the store responded, and she responded, and the store responded, I think I'm back on Kelly's side.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I read this. Also, I thought this was a clothing store at first or something. It's a toy store. Yesterday, Kelly Clarkson visited us in Brooklyn and inquired about buying Molly, a one-of-a-kind singing and dancing bird automaton who plays an important role in magic shows we host here. Molly is permanently attached to the wall and isn't for sale.
Starting point is 00:21:24 However, the negative experience Kelly described on Twitter would resonate with anyone who has ever felt judged in a shop. At Art of Play, whether someone comes in to make a purchase or simply look around for a while, they're equally welcome. We greet everyone who walks in the door with the invitation to pick things up and play. And they do. Many stay for hours enjoying our puzzles, games, and toys.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Imagine our surprise when our small, local business was suddenly attacked by 8 million people who have never visited our store. It's been a surreal experience to be the focus of such widespread outrage after just one mentioned by a celebrity. Thanks to all our friends for their support. And welcome to all the curious folks who have discovered. us amidst the drama. We're going to keep our heads down and hopefully we can clear things up with Kelly someday as a talented popular singer once said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Starting point is 00:22:05 That makes me on their side. I'm still on their side. Hell of response. She tried to buy something that was not. Nope, nope, nope. Now we're getting into it. Cool, cool, sure, it wasn't for sale. That's a narrative art of play is going to go with.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Thumbs up. So the whole conversation we have when I asked you if it was for sale while it's pointing to the price tag hanging on the wall with the title singing bird didn't happen as you elevator eyed me saying in a condescending tone, yes, it's for sale, but it costs $15,000. So if you'd like me to find something comparable for you, I can. That all never happened. And now it's not for sale. Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Starting point is 00:22:38 So you're not the only rude. You're not only rude. You're also a liar. Got it. And by the way, I obviously support small businesses because I was literally at a small business trying to purchase things. I love small businesses. I know they're important, and I always support them. But you don't get a free pass to treat people less than in your store just because you're a small business.
Starting point is 00:22:56 It's not that hard to be kind. I never blast people, but you, my friend, were an exception. Your store is really cool. Unfortunately, I'm even more on the store. You are. I'm back on her side now. Oh. Wait, did you have a picture of the price tag?
Starting point is 00:23:08 Other people are showing. Oh, a bird, $15,000. I got to see the bird in action. But then. Oh, you haven't seen the bird? Somebody also, it's very cool. Somebody also found a post from September where the store was highlighting things in the store that are cool, but that are not for sale.
Starting point is 00:23:22 And that was on there? Yes, the bird was the first thing on the list. Great question. Can you get another one like it? They told her, apparently in the store, the store says they told her, here's the person who made it. Why don't you see if he can make one for you? Hmm.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's very cool. Nick, wait till you see this bitch. That's really realistic. You can see why she's more there. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's okay. I think it's stupid.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Dude, yeah, you have to crank it every thing. To crank it to make a bird noise? 15,000. I think I'm on the side of this. Do we have to have a side? I don't have enough context. It can't have a price tag. I'm leaning store's side.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I'm leaning Kelly. Me too. The store lie or not. Part of being a person is having a shitty retail experience where the, you know, the staff is a little rude and condescending to you. Then you go, you eat it, you go home, and then you fantasize about doing this. No, but you do go home and complain to people. You go home and say, you're not going to believe how they treated me. She just happens to be a celebrity who can communicate with millions of people.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Which, yeah, makes it more insane, in my opinion. Okay. She's like... So we're 50-50 here. Like, why not just, like, call your friend and share your story instead of, like, ruining these people's lives because you can't buy a bird on a wall? Now I think I'm on the store's side the way you put that. Yeah. All right, hold on.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Team store. Like, how aggrieved was she really? You're like, you're not going to believe this. These people didn't think I was rich. And did they treat her like shit? I'm like, okay, so how are you victimized? You couldn't buy a bird on a wall because people didn't think you were as rich as you are? that's still treating somebody a certain way
Starting point is 00:25:13 that she didn't bank on being treated, right? Just because she's rich doesn't mean she can't be treated fairly and... Yeah, I don't have a problem with it all. Was she upset that they didn't know that she was Kelly Clarkson? That may be it. I don't know. It just didn't feel like that. Wild.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Well, either way, what real damage is going to be done to the store? Now it's just millions of people are going to know about it and people are going to go... Yeah, this is great for the store. A lock there. What's our last... update. A store response? A second store response? I did see. I don't know if it's AI or not, but there's people outside the store last night with
Starting point is 00:25:48 science being like, we support Kelly Clarkson. And like there's people like protesting the store. Okay, I don't know why a human being would care that much. I just, I just have a problem with it because Kelly Clarkson has enough fans that she could like basically end this store. That's right. Yeah. And that's kind of fucked up. But the counterbalance of that is she brought attention to this store and millions of people that wouldn't know about the store are now running to support them, right? I don't know. I feel like they'll probably get bad reviews
Starting point is 00:26:15 online. I don't think she would appreciate the bird like somebody else would. No. She would never use it. Hillary Clarkson would appreciate the bird. No, I want to buy it. She's never home. That's what I was making on. It's never about the bird, Nick. We should buy the bird.
Starting point is 00:26:31 There was a $2,000 version of the bird and smash it in front of Kelly Clarkson. Can I say, I think it's fine as default response to assume that most people can't afford a $15,000 bird on their wall. But why have it on the wall then if that's I don't know. I don't know. Because it's like... Yeah, I just, I don't
Starting point is 00:26:48 see it as if that happened to me, I would just, I would like to think I laugh it off and not go to Twitter to... I need the... If I'm interested in the store. Should I read this one? We explain that while Molly is permanently attached to the wall and serves as a de facto mascot for a shop, and nearly identical automation is owned
Starting point is 00:27:03 by the creator of the machines, a brilliant artist named Bliss Cobb, Never way. They'll just be willing to part with Molly's twin for $15,000. You've trained all this to Kelly. Oh, so yeah, the store is not wrong. They basically were like, it is $15,000, not this one, but the same one. We can help you get it.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Oh. But did Kelly say something different than she's saying that? They lied. Their language and their messaging and her language and her messaging makes her lose. Yes. I think they're handling. She just seems part of her response. Yeah, they're just kind of like.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Pot hurt, Kelly. She's. By the way, we do have a guest on right now. We have Buddy Mac. Valley. Whoa. What's up, man? Oh, you're muted.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Or is he? Oh, yeah, he's doing a good job. Buddy Matt, how's going? Good to see you. We brought you up on Friday. Do you have, can you do some ventriloquism for us? I might be able to do that for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Let me see if my buddy's ready here. Did you just start to pop off too? What happened? What's going on right now? Well, okay, so I've been, I mean, my band and I have been performing for just over a year, some of them on and off for the last five or six years, just in Bellingham. Excuse me. And then we've been going to Seattle and, you know, we did like Oregon once, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And so it's, I mean, we've been really building a following in Bellingham, but, you know, I posted Cowpoke and it went mega viral. And, you know, that's kind of the story. That song is almost 85 years old. and it's what happened with Coulter Wall. He posted that song and went mega viral. I mean, he was putting in a lot of work before that too, but that song has done a lot of good things
Starting point is 00:28:46 for country musicians over the 85 years that's been around. So, yeah, I owe a lot to it. Yeah, it's been awesome to watch. I feel like he just blew up in the last couple of weeks. So, yeah, we were, as great of a singer as you are in your band, the ventriloquism part was what we were fascinated with because you don't see ventriloquists anymore. Yeah, no, it's definitely not as popular as it was.
Starting point is 00:29:11 I just did an interview with Cascadia Daily, which is a local publication here in Bellingham, and they kind of, because I build and restore ventriloquist figures as well. I have a workshop in this public maker space. I have a 10 by 10. And so I build puppets, and then I restore old antique puppets. And so they came in and interviewed me and stuff. And I basically, you know, to rehash it, I said it used to be the most popular form of entertainment in the around, you know, the turn of the 20th century,
Starting point is 00:29:40 the queen was inviting ventriloquist regularly to come perform ventriloquism for her and her parties and things. It was huge. And now, you know, like, I watched your guys' coverage of me, and I thought it was awesome and hilarious. And you made a good point. You said that because of TV, there's not a whole lot of need for ventriloquists. And it's kind of true. It's like it's a different, it's an art form that really needs to be seen live. And when you see it on TV, it's still amazing for me.
Starting point is 00:30:05 I love ventriloquism in all forms. I'm kind of a nerd for it. But when you see it live, it's like, it's like this thing that, I don't know, it's captivating. Yeah. And I love it. And I'm all, I'm passionate about it. And I have a lot of friends. And, you know, all ventriloquists know each other.
Starting point is 00:30:20 So it's, we all talk and we have a convention every year in Kentucky, believe it or not. Really? No way. Yeah. Yeah. The ventriloquist convention in Kentucky happens every July, for the most part. We just celebrated our 50th anniversary this last year. and so that's a beautiful place. Al Gettler is an amazing ventriloquist and he's the executive director of that and he did a great job this last year. So yeah, we're all pretty close and we keep in contact with each other because I mean who else are we going to talk to about this? You know, it's really insane. Wait, so at the ventriloquist convention, do you guys speak to each other like humans or you speak through your puppets? I feel like you have to. For the most part, the puppets stay like we sometimes we'll be like, oh man, you know, this is going to sound.
Starting point is 00:31:04 how weird. It's like, oh, man, let me see your puppet, man. And then we're like, show each other our puppets and stuff. And it's cool. But for the most part, these, these, the pros and everything, you know, the puppet's a tool. It stays in the box until it's time to perform. And then we're just talking, you know, a lot of people chat about what it's like on the road, what it's like book and gigs and stuff. There's workshops. There's people just grabbing dinner together. You know, it's like, it's such a niche art form that being able to talk with people or decompress with people who also are living their lives or making their money, doing it. it's such a special place
Starting point is 00:31:36 but there are also people who sell puppets there it's like a regular convention you know you have like dealers rooms and and things like that so it's a it's an amazing it's the vent haven ventrilo because there it is wow oh how about that and this year Jeff Dunham was there and he did a performance for the
Starting point is 00:31:52 50th yeah it was really cool damn what a what sparked this interest in you well um so when I was a kid I read goosebumps. Oh, nice. I was so big.
Starting point is 00:32:08 And then obviously, like I saw the TV show. And I just was like, wow, you know, I think most people's reaction to that was to be freaked out. But I was like intrigued. I was like, man, that puppet is so cool. Like, how does it work? I want to figure that out. And, you know, they're really expensive because there's no factory that's just making them. You have to like talk to a maker like myself now who makes them by hand.
Starting point is 00:32:30 And so my dream was to own a professional ventriloquist figure. and I just, it just wasn't, it wasn't in the cards. My parents gifted me a, like a toy ventriloquist figure when I was nine years old at my birthday party, which is, I was at a bowling alley with all of my friends and, you know, crying over a doll that I got for Christmas, which was really, yeah, not one of my proudest moments. But, yeah, so I had that toy for the longest time,
Starting point is 00:32:57 and then, you know, I kind of gave it up in middle school and high school. I kind of was like, yeah, this isn't for me. I want to kind of redefine. myself and you know uh i went through kind of a hard time around that time and my mental health was suffering and during covid especially i was like kind of lost and uh ended up you know uh just kind of praying saying saying god i need i need some direction in my life and if you're real i need you to show it to show yourself to me and um that's when i got a scholarship to go to the ventriloquist convention for the first time this is about four years ago and it was at that convention where i met um amazing
Starting point is 00:33:32 people that shared the gospel with me and I gave my life to Jesus and decided that I should probably do this puppet thing because I really enjoy it. The puppets themselves, like, the interest still was mainly in, like, the building as much as, not as much as, like, the performing. I really like performing. I just don't have the same sort of drive to write material in things. Like a lot of my colleagues, they're just really, you know, really good. I just, I like building them and I do like walk around ventriloquism at places like I'll walk around with with one of the puppets and talk to people interact with people improv kind of thing and that's a lot more fun for me than doing a full show like I only have a five minute routine but yeah I really just enjoy it and
Starting point is 00:34:20 I loved to you know god brought me back to or puppets brought me back to God and I really enjoy just the community it's a really special community with a really great people that are really supportive and I went on a tangent there you asked me a question I love the passion that was great what's like a good intro sentence if we wanted to try to say a sentence with our mouths closed what's it the easiest thing to say well they so yeah the let's start with what you can't say well we know consonants
Starting point is 00:34:52 it wasn't me it wasn't me that said that No, you can't say a Pelosive consonants. Yeah, it'll get you into trouble here. So the Pelosive consonants are the consonants where your lips touch. So that's M, P, B, V, kind of, your teeth and your lip touch. And so what you have to do is you have to substitute those sounds for something. else. And so you'll probably notice the ventriloquists, when they make their puppets talk, the puppets have like a little bit of a, like a speech impediment almost. It sounds like, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:37 it's because you have to kind of like fudge it in a way, you know, and like change the letters. And so like basketball, if you want to say basketball without moving your lips, it's really hard. You can't because you need your lips. And so instead of the B, you swap it for D. And so instead of saying, you know, basketball, you say, basketball. So you say you use the D, but then you roll your tongue on the top of the roof of your mouth. So that way it sounds more like, instead of basket doll, it sounds like basketball. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:11 You know. That was cool. Thank you. If you use the higher pitched voice, it also helps to kind of mask the fact that it does. Like if I were to say it in my normal voice, basketball. You can, you're like, oh, it sounds a little, there's something going on there. but if you alter the voice or add an accent or something like that, it just helps the illusion. So if you want to say, let's see, yeah, also my mother told me, that's a good one that I practice with or warm up with because it's like, well, actually I'll ask you, what do you think is the replacement constant for that?
Starting point is 00:36:49 So for M? Well, that obviously, you're being. N? N? No, N. N. That is 10. That's really good.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Go for it. Nine. Nine. Nine. That's really good. Do you have a puppet with you right now? Yeah. So this is Cosmo.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Cosmo is a replica of, I'll just give you the back story real quick. He's a replica of a ventriloquist figure built by Georgian Glenn McElroy in the 1930s. I'm very blessed to have received a replica. of his head and I did all of the mechanical work inside. He's very complicated. He's kind of a pain in the butt to operate, but I thought you guys would want to see him so I'll okay. Yes. Cool. Yes, please.
Starting point is 00:37:35 If you forget, remember Danny had a ventriloquist doll and did light ventriloquy. Oh, yeah. He does have. Oh, Danny. Wow. Oh, man. What's up? The eye round.
Starting point is 00:37:50 How's it going, guys? Cosmo, could you give us an NBA preview? I don't know what that means. We're on Dan Katz show right now. Oh, Dan Katz. You know who that is? No. It's good.
Starting point is 00:38:09 This guy's good. Cosmo. Now, thank you so much. It's an honor to be here. And, yeah, we're having a good time. Why are you doing that? What's that? What are you doing that?
Starting point is 00:38:20 Doing what? What does your mouth do that when I talk? Do what? You go like this. So, Cosmo is, I'll just show you what he does here. He's pretty fascinating. He's kind of, like I said, he's a pain in the butt to operate because there's a lot going on. Most ventriloquist figures are just a trigger with a mouth that moves.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Cosmo has about, I think, 11 movements in his head. And so these were originally done in the 1930s. So they would have used all steel and stuff. I used brass inside the mechanics. It's all direct linkage. So let's see So he can talk obviously Like that
Starting point is 00:39:00 He can open his mouth He can smile He can smile Oh He can wiggle his ears Like that What? Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:09 And then if he wants to smell something He can smell And then he can stick his tongue out Like that He can also go cross I like that Oh wow And if he gets scared
Starting point is 00:39:21 Oh my gosh But these are all different mechanisms you have to control? Yes, it's like a saxophone. And oh, he's getting a little... Where's your hand right now? I can't answer that. What do you find are the most important parts of like being good at this?
Starting point is 00:39:39 Is it the being able to talk without moving your mouth, the actual puppeteering? Because like I imagine there are people that are really, really good at throwing their voice or making the sounds without moving their mouth. But they can't do all... I've yet to meet them. Yeah, hasn't been that one yet. They can't do all this.
Starting point is 00:39:54 They can't do. you know, they try to make their puppet smile and instead he, his hair sticks up and stuff. Right. Or is it like writing material and just putting together a good act that's funny and flows together? Well, good question. So, the best ventriloquist are my favorite ventriloquist, but I think a lot of people in my community
Starting point is 00:40:12 would agree that the best ventriloquist in, um, in history was Edgar Bergen. Edgar Bergen was, um, really popular in the 50s, um, through the, like, 70s and then I think he died in like the 80s or something. I don't know, but he had a character Charlie McCarthy and he was on the radio. Rudy Valley put him on the radio early on in his career. So he did like 20 years of ventriloquism on the radio. How does that work on that? Well, it doesn't, you see. And so when you're on the radio as a
Starting point is 00:40:45 ventriloquist, you kind of lose your technique over time. And so his lips moved all the time when he performed later on in life, but people didn't care because Charlie was such an alive character. He was so believable. He was just like, when he spoke, people were like captivated by him. He was just such a, such a believable, like Edgar Berger was such a good actor. It didn't matter how much his lips were moving. I mean, sometimes they were like, he wasn't even trying. He was just like talking with the voice. And it didn't matter because Charlie was such a believable character. And so he's my favorite because when you watch him, it's like, you know, his humor is very, of that era.
Starting point is 00:41:23 It's very, you know, elegant and nuanced. And it's just like, it's like, it's classy, you know? And so what's more important than not moving your lips, I mean, that's a good portion of it. You know, that's like you should definitely at least try as a ventriloquist to keep the illusion going without moving your lips. But what's more important than that is being a good actor and being, um, having a good character, having a character that's believable, that's enjoyable to talk to. but yeah like what made it easy for Edgar too I mean he was amazing nothing really made it easy for him
Starting point is 00:41:57 but what's easier to do is Charlie just had a moving mouth he didn't have moving eyes no eyebrows or whatever it was just a wooden head with a moving mouth carved into it and it's a lot easier to make something come to life when it's simpler you know like Cosmo is a mechanical marvel I mean he's just got a lot going on
Starting point is 00:42:17 and it's hard to make something like that come to life you know, for the most part, he's he's just like an automaton in a way. Cosmo. Cosmo, do you like how Buddy Mac is talking about you right now? He's treating you like shit. Yeah, I know. I don't care. It's whatever, you know.
Starting point is 00:42:34 I just want to go back in that box. Oh, you like the box. Osmo, are you? Do you need to be saved? Is Buddy Mac kidnapped you? I can't say anything, you know. I'm off the record now. That's right.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Oh, man. If you need help. Well, that's awesome. Oh, I had one last question, buddy. You said you have a workshop with all these puppets that you're working on. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. They're talking at night, right?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Oh, of course. Yeah, like, you, that's a haunted workshop. Like, those guys are conspiring against you. Yes, they are. Okay. I just want to be clear. Like, I wanted you to, like, I was like, hey, I need to check. Yeah, shut up, man.
Starting point is 00:43:15 I need to check see if Buddy Mac realizes what's going on. You do know what's going on. You do know what's going. You've signed off on the dolls being your downfall. Yeah. That's why I left this one here, buddy. Oh, look. I guess we have a line around. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:28 What do you? Wait, I don't see it. Oh, hey, that's Mortimer Snurred. Mortimer Snurr! They're calling him Copernicus this whole time. It's Mortimer Snurred. You are so lame. Wait, wait, how did you know Mortimer Snurred? Is that a famous doll?
Starting point is 00:43:46 So, Edgar Bergen that I mentioned earlier, had a few characters. Mortimer Snurt is one of his characters as well. Oh, my God. It is. Mortimer Snurred. Yeah. Dan.
Starting point is 00:43:59 You got Mortimer Snard there the whole time, Danny? Yeah, I left in here. The whole time you had a celebrity. I believe it's taxed. Well, buddy, this has been awesome. If you ever find yourself in Chicago, we'd love to have you at the office. Oh, that would be awesome. Yeah, this is really cool.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Congrats on all your success. Yes. And we're fans. Well deserved. Yeah. I appreciate that so much. Thank you for having me. and for asking me questions.
Starting point is 00:44:21 I love yapping about it. So, you know, anytime. All right. Thank you, buddy. See you, Cosmo. Bye, Cosmo. See you later. Get me out of here.
Starting point is 00:44:32 See you, man. God bless. Wow. What a like with a follow out. Yeah, that guy is rock. Brandon could not be less interested. He left, yeah. He exhausted it all mostly.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Yeah. Mortimer snur? Oh, shit. Mortimer snur. There's something about it. I think buddy Mac would agree there's something about nerds who are just all in
Starting point is 00:44:54 I just fucking passion I love and an ability which I don't have right now the ability to articulate your passion yeah she was awesome and also like having a be like I like asking him
Starting point is 00:45:05 you know they're talking to each other like being able to joke about it too I was I was a little bit of a hater I was a big time shed light on how how many different skills you need yeah trilliquism I can't walk and chew gum
Starting point is 00:45:18 improv charisma Pretty much playing an instrument inside of it. Yeah. And he made that. Acting. And he made that. He's brilliant.
Starting point is 00:45:26 The technical skills to create those things behind that. Like, look at the bird was $15,000. I wonder how much a high-end, like, multi-part, 12 moving pieces. Ventriloquy, I don't even want to say dummy at this point. I wonder how much those go for. We should have tried to buy it off of them. Yeah. If he wouldn't let us, we should have ruined his life.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah. Yeah, I get yak fans of protest outside. his house. No, he's awesome. What a guy. Yeah, that's really cool. Really likable guy. I do feel bad for him, though. I wish he was 100 years, he was born 100 years earlier, you know? He'd be performing for the
Starting point is 00:46:02 queen. He'd be the most important in the country. We would know Buddy Mac. It'd be like Charlie Chaplin and Buddy Mac. He is a century off of being a household name. That's right. Which is a damn shit. I was just really good at going to the dentist. Oh my God. Full conversations during a
Starting point is 00:46:19 cleaning. Mortimer Snur. I meant to ask him about his hat. He wears that great big hat. Oh, yeah, the 10-gallon hat. It's a good hat. I hope his band brings him to Chicago sometime. That would be awesome.
Starting point is 00:46:31 That would be amazing. Petriloquism is like his second best thing he does. The yodeling was. Yeah. Yeah, you got about that. Always. I didn't ask him about Yoteling.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Oh, thanks. You weren't a fan of Buddy Mac, Brandon? No, I just had to pee and get it. I put that back behind the night. I don't know how to fucking Mortimer Snard. Mortimer Snurred.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Were you here for Mortimer Snurred? You missed Mortimer. Where were you? It was great. Yeah. Had to be there. Oh, man. That was cool.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Do you want to... Do you want a Chicago guy? I don't know how we does... I can only scream while doing it. That's it. It's pretty good. I'd be impressed with it didn't just talk to that guy. Who's the guy?
Starting point is 00:47:19 that he kept mentioning, TJ, wasn't it? Edgar Bergen. I would love to watch some of his old. I would love to watch ventriloical. Why, I can't talk today. Old school. Were the guys moving his mouth? He was describing it as, like, in his later years,
Starting point is 00:47:33 he would just move his mouth as he was doing. I love to watch, like, a clip of a guy. Did he try? He was just, like, kind of giving up on the whole keep your mouth still thing. Yeah, fuck it. Fuck it. You're here to see the puppet.
Starting point is 00:47:46 I know it, you know it. Yeah, just watch him. Let's just get to the puppet. Do they all have to look horrifying and possessed? Can it just be like... Yeah, no, Coswell is scary. Yeah, is there like a sexy one? Is there like a bad couch?
Starting point is 00:47:59 I know. Who's the famous guy? Dunham? Is that right? He's got some normal-looking ones, right? I don't know. He's got... The dead terrorist. He's got the terrorists.
Starting point is 00:48:09 The jalapeno. Walter. But Walter's a pissed-off grumpy guy, right? Yeah. He was a fucking super-duper star. for a little bit. He really was. Imagine getting bumped off the radio's time slot for a ventriloquist.
Starting point is 00:48:27 The radio is kind of confusing. Right? They have a sign language show after that. Like, I don't, that doesn't make sense. Yeah. You got to think the first time, the first couple of times he did it, he was doing the full, he was doing it right. Yeah, how soon was he like, fuck this. And then somebody else was like, what are you doing, dude?
Starting point is 00:48:44 Just talk. Oh, man. that guy rock can we see that guy edgar in action yeah let me do a rowback read while you search for him uh college football season is here which means roback's game day collection is fresh with new designs products and schools almost 80 schools total with new designs and products the best part is everything is custom designed for your school print polos with school logos campus landmarks longstanding traditions team colors you name it hoodies and cuyps and school colors with custom trims this isn't just slapping a logo on.
Starting point is 00:49:18 This is custom designed for your school. As James Winston put it on Saturday, we wear rowback. So before your team loses and your season's over by week four, take a look because it's going quick. Head to rowback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use code yak for 20% off your first order. Best fit, best feel, rowback. Yep.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yep. Are you having a good time? Well, whatever you say, you know, it's up to you. You got your hands. hand up my back. Yeah, you can see his... Well, I would say that you're having a pretty good time.
Starting point is 00:49:52 It's very good, Bergen. Thank you. Well, I'm certainly welcome, I guess. What do you think of the Smothers Brothers? Do you think they're funny? Well, I... I think one of them is pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Yeah, one of them. Which one is that? The funny one. The funny. You mean Tommy? I imagine so. You know, the dummy. No.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Now, that's not a very nice thing to say. Well, then why did you make me say it? Oh, that's not going to that. Charlie Tommy is not a dummy. He's a human being. Yeah, but Dick does the talking floor. No, no, no. He does everything himself.
Starting point is 00:50:32 You? He's a legend. You never want to see your legends go out with that. Damn. That was Hakeem. A lot of one on the rap. Brutal. That's brutal.
Starting point is 00:50:43 See him like that. Better in the radio era. Those puppets are conspiring, man. Do they have to make them so haunting? I don't, I think so. Yeah. Is it like the makeup blush on them, the red, is that something with the mouth that it makes you focus? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:01 I don't think so. Draws your eyes to them a little bit to get away from the other guy's mouth? Probably it could be it. It has to be something, a visual cue, right? Yeah. But I don't know. I want to try. Are they more or less?
Starting point is 00:51:15 Give it a try. High end one cost more. A little bird. That'd be cool as fuck if he became a pop. Mr. Secrets. All he is, he just does, pst. He whispers. That's an easy one to say with your mouth closed, too.
Starting point is 00:51:30 That's what. Yeah. Here comes Kyle and Mr. Secrets. Oh, Mr. Secrets. Kyle, you can come, but please don't bring Mr. Secrets. How was medieval times, by the way? You guys. You looked incredible.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I got to say, Quigs rocked. Quigs looked so perfect. He was King Richard? He wants to return the costume. I said he can't. No. He was so good. He looked so good. He was the star of the show. Oh, he was so funny. He showed up as King Richard.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Yeah, that helped. Verbly. So funny. Oh, he was, yeah. Did he tie one on because he didn't reply to my text on Sunday morning? Yes. So you are what? There's a football player. Yes. Football player. That was Donnie's extras.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Pilot? I laughed. Quig said draft king's working for anyone else. That's Chef Donnie. Nick. Feeling great. I mean, you look like you just wear that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Every Saturday. Thank you. That's a comment. Look at that. Oh, man. He looks incredible. It was everybody was so hammered.
Starting point is 00:52:40 How do the people at medieval times react when you all come? Hank is George Washington? He was George Washington. He genuinely, he, I don't think you knew what medieval meant. I genuinely thought that was fine. Rudy just looks cool. Yeah, Rudy looks awesome. Is that your first time there?
Starting point is 00:52:57 No, no. Max looked perfect. Those ug boots? It was, uh, yeah, we all just were pretty hammered. We were in the blue night section. Okay. Uh, we got scolded for booing the other nights. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Everybody else was in costume Like everybody there Everybody yeah I was gonna ask you that Yeah everyone had the same idea Nobody just shows up wearing A hoodie Yeah interesting
Starting point is 00:53:24 Huh That's pretty cool I guess Did you eat like turkey legs Got a half chicken No silverware It's uh tomato soup Okay I got mead for everybody
Starting point is 00:53:36 Oh meat for everybody Well meat for the my row Is there anything within the walls Of that place That takes you out Like when you go to the bathroom Do you, like, slip into, like, a modern bathroom? Everybody's wearing, like, pop star microphones.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Okay. That takes you out pretty much immediately. Yeah. Was Alabama Georgia on? It was on on the TV. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm picturing is, like, a mix of...
Starting point is 00:54:01 Yeah. Did Donnie get knighted? He did afterwards, yes. He got knighted. He was, like, really happy. After what? Good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Well, you went back? No, we, like, stayed after, and the king was like... I'll catch up with you guys. And then the king knighted him. The king yelled at Donnie because he tried to go to one knee as he was knighting. And the king yelled at him, school, to him, said, sit back down. It was a... Why?
Starting point is 00:54:27 Is that a no-no? I don't know. I don't know. All in all, yeah, I don't know. Do you guys go out to the bars after in your costumes? I think that's all I was. I went right home. Max is very allergic to horses.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Yeah, I didn't know that. He was sneezing the whole time, sneezing and coughing. That's a crazy hour. Wow, yeah. So, like, we're front row, Queen's box, and we're just hearing Max, and then just sneezing. Just doing his horse impression. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I wish there was something largely embarrassing that happened, but there really wasn't.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Really? Like, you didn't spend that much money or anything? Oh, yeah, this is, yeah, this will take you out on a party bus. Yeah. Ooh, whoop. What, a peasant can't have fun? And then Donnie taught me his cork technique where he lit a cork on fire and sprayed the, rub the ashes on my face.
Starting point is 00:55:23 What a birthday. Good for Donnie. We talked about it a bit on anus, but Kyle ruined the vibe. Oh, in what way? Yeah, we just talked about it. But I got a gifting faux paugh for Donnie's birthday. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Yeah. You get him too much stuff? Yeah. Damn. Either you didn't bring something at all or you brought him a bottle of wine. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:54 And Kyle overgifted. What did you bring him? You got him a CB radio, right? Yeah, I did. Kyle overgifted that. I did. Did you give him a whole oven? A Canon XR7 or whatever it's called, R7X?
Starting point is 00:56:10 Is it a camera? Yeah. Oh. It's the camera. It shows somebody you care about them. You can't even find it. DJ, go ahead and pull it up. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Is it Brandon's camera? No. How much was your camera? Four. 100? No. Thousand. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Really? Damn. Good God. For birds? All for the iPhone? Birds. Yeah. iPhone camera's the same thing.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah, but I have one of the... Whatever. It's ain't about me. He's the Kyle over here. Chef, like, the guests were coming in and chef was just tinkering with the camera, formatting the the SD car. He's just. Stoped hosting as soon as Kyle gave him the gift.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Chef didn't want to go to medieval time. It was too good of the gift. It was too good. It ruined everything. And then it made you nervous. You were just pacing around. Yeah. It was so embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:56:55 He takes pictures like that, chef? I didn't know that. I didn't know he's a photography guy. You said he does, you sold it beautifully. You do some of the most amazing things and I love watching it. So I got you this. There's a story. I didn't pay for this gift.
Starting point is 00:57:10 I had it and I had to get it in a weird way. I saw it. somebody breastfeeding to get it. Happens to the best of us. It was a breastfeater in my... A lactator in my apartment that I had to walk in on and try to find the camera that I had been stowing for a year now.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I was going, I'll just give this to Donnie at the last second. Give him a $1,500. I got it for free. I didn't realize how nice of a gift it was. What was the lactator part? We just told us. That's why we had Kate on. We got to stop spoiling everything.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. Tune in for the lactator. I mean, yeah, you get it. No. No, I don't. I actually will be doing it.
Starting point is 00:57:58 This is going to drive up numbers. I will be tuning in. I do not get it at all. There's not much more to it. There was a lactator in my apartment that I walked in on to retrieve a camera. But it's sure. I don't want to spoil too much, but surely it was somebody you knew. She was a sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:58:13 I didn't know her. I met her then. Kind of. She was lactating. I said hi. Danny, did you go to Texas with that crew? I sure did. Yeah, it was a fun weekend.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Stay fair with something else. It's crazy. Yeah. Fried P. And J. I don't know why it was so good, but it was. Oh, yeah. That's a fine.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Danny, that makes a hell of a lot of stuff. Peanut butter and it was good. Yeah, it's fried bread. Yeah, Danny. You can fry anything and make it good. But you're, I feel like there's almost an age limit. Like, we were all dead after eating two fried items. And there's no way you're getting beers down after that.
Starting point is 00:58:54 But yeah, it was a great time. Game was awesome. How long did you stay? Well, listen. All T. Bob told me is he was the only one that stayed the whole time. He was. I think Dana, too, to his credit. I didn't care if we stayed or left.
Starting point is 00:59:10 I was kind of freaking out. I was there doing social. Couldn't get a single text, couldn't get anything up. So I was like, fuck, am I going to pull Mincy and just post everything after? But then some of them wanted to leave anyway, so I was like, all right. But yeah. Yeah, the stadium is bad. It was real bad.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Well, but it's once a year. The concessions were out of this world. We should have done a couple episodes of doing lines there. Long lines. Insanely long. I'll never complain about Soldier again, I don't think. Yeah. What stadiums this?
Starting point is 00:59:41 Cotton ball. Pop and ball. They literally only have one football game a year. They don't even have the Cotton Bowl there anymore. Yeah, it's true. Cotton Bull is in Jerry's world. No. It's in Jerry's world.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Were you a big state, fair guy, Brandon, in Mississippi? Is it a bigger thing down south or kind of just there? No, I think it's big in the Midwest. It's big in rural. Like, I've been to the Minnesota and the Wisconsin. Minnesota is a massive. Iowa's big one, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas. Yeah, no, we didn't really have it like that.
Starting point is 01:00:11 The Minnesota one was crazy. crazy you went to it yeah we did alaska stay fair how and i and donnie yeah why are they still doing the tickets like that just cut out the middle man why can you just it's such a pain in the ass but it serves no purpose i feel like that was the event when i first started at barstool in like 2018 or 2019 that was like one of my first big work trips and i went to this bar in dallas that had you it was like you who but frozen and had liquor in it oh and i was like this is the best thing I've ever had so I had like 15 of them and the next morning I was in the back of this one of those big white vans and they put the t-shirt box on my lap and I was like oh god
Starting point is 01:00:53 oh god oh god I threw up into t-shirt box I tried to hold like hold a couple like a bowl and then I was like I'm going to get fired and then they put me to sleep in the back of the barstool bus and they were giving like tours like letting people on and they're like and there's kate like sleeping on the, and I was like, I think I'm going to lose my, I think I'm going to lose my job. 15 tequila yuhus will do. Spikedyuhus. Yeah, I know. And it was the Texas State Fair or whatever, and I could, the only thing I could get down was like two sips of soda. I didn't have a single thing to eat. I didn't, like, I didn't do anything. And I love that shit. How wasted were you? Like, it was Pat from the
Starting point is 01:01:30 New York office whenever we hang out. Is he ever got anybody else? Yeah. Bad influence. Yeah. Bad influence. And, um. Yeah, he used to spike my drinks all the time. Yeah. So, but it was one of the worst hangovers I've ever had my whole life. And I threw up in the t-shirt box. So if you were there and you didn't get a t-shirt, that's why. No, we still gave them out. Yeah, people still.
Starting point is 01:01:54 But that would have been better than throwing up on my coworkers, I guess. Or incurring a large van fee. No. No. It's probably the worst thing. On the coworker. Like, I don't know who would have been around 2018. That's the funniest person to throw up on.
Starting point is 01:02:09 but that was brutal Dave that's a great question yeah it's the fun who in 2018 would have been the funniest person to throw up yeah
Starting point is 01:02:17 how's uh Connor Griffin he's he's marching on man I was going to check in on him but I didn't uh want to let me tell you what he's not here's the thing
Starting point is 01:02:27 he loses every game yeah he's two and 16 in the last month but he still he still doesn't take a whole lot of damage in the sense that he came in this morning and he saw Dave talked about him and he didn't think
Starting point is 01:02:39 Dave was mocking him. Yeah, you did say that. Dave's not mocking me. Yeah. It's not fun for me. I'll say that, Nick. Like, it's like not been... I enjoyed last year.
Starting point is 01:02:49 This year's just not fun. It's just not... Right. Because, like, these lows, it's like... He's losing too much. He's losing way too much. He doesn't even have a fall. There's no fall.
Starting point is 01:02:59 You're already at rock bottom. You can't go any further. And are you feeling sympathy for him? I'm feeling sympathy for me. Yeah. I feel bad for me. That's what I'm saying. I can't even enjoy that.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I'm watching every team. much on all of his teams to lose it. I can't enjoy it at all. I need them to start winning so I can enjoy him losing. Well, the wins are what make the loss is funnier. That's right. You've got to have some wins along the way. I think he's one McDonald's costume away from his luck change. Turning it around. Yeah. Just needs one more costume to go to McDonald's in. Who'd they lose to? Oh, haven't they lost? Penn State is. Penn State lost to USC and then the Eagles, of course, lost to the Jags.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Flyers are 0 and 7. You know the video of him with the sunglasses on? He's got the white suit on. He's like, Penn State. I believe at the time, Penn State was undefeated in rank second in the country. And since he made that video,
Starting point is 01:03:52 they're seven and nine. But to say, you know what time it is. They have lost seemingly every single game. It's so funny. And up to that point, they were, yeah. Right, Brandon? Weren't they like second?
Starting point is 01:04:09 They were, yeah. Yeah, that was before the Oregon game, which they lost last year and started their downfall. They lost an overtime. Yeah, and I missed that. That's what I mean. Like, when that happened, I've never felt more alive. That when he made that video and they lost,
Starting point is 01:04:23 I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. And now I'm watching the Eagles, you know, losing the last seconds on a bomb of a field goal. And I'm just like, yeah, this is, yeah, it's throwing on the pile, you know? So I need them to start winning. so I can laugh at it. The Phillies blew everyone.
Starting point is 01:04:40 The Phillies got eliminated. Yeah. He needs a winner. Like if the Sixers has already started him, like three and oh, that would help. Sixers actually would help. Yeah. Because he's very excited about the Sixers season. And LeBron James is not a young man.
Starting point is 01:04:55 No. No. I don't know if Connor has realized that. Yeah, LeBron is not a young man. No, this isn't 2006. He's very, very old. You know what time it is Oh my God
Starting point is 01:05:12 There's seven and nine Mortal combat character They were number two in the country They've got seven and nine since then That gives me a full body reaction every time Was that the entirety of the video he posted? No, he goes on to a little bit more But four and nine versus power 40s
Starting point is 01:05:35 Wow. Shout out Sto Analytics. Yeah, that guy's good. I wouldn't mind. Stool Analytics daily board meetings with himself, when he comes up with what he's going to post. I believe he had a post today of every Barstall employee's estimated handicap in golf. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:05:58 How does he come up with what he's going to do today? Has he triggered you yet, Brandon? No, he's generally been good to me. You're fine with it? Yeah. And even when this- You're fine with this coverage of 20, handicap? I think he's exactly, I think he's exactly right.
Starting point is 01:06:14 I doubt Dan's a worst golfer in the company, but. No, but I think these are the guys that golf. That is my handicap. Yeah. That's about right for me too, probably. 24. Your speed golf. I shot him in 23-9. Your speed golf was awesome. I think I watched it twice. I played a great... That was incredible. That was impressive. I'm trying to get better. It's hard. It's hard sport. What speed golf? You got to watch this clip.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Oh. We did a video with Foreplay. and I just sprint. It fucked me up for like two days. Do you have to sprint just one hole? Yeah, you have to hit the ball and sprint. It's just it doesn't matter. Shots are irrelevant.
Starting point is 01:06:50 It's just how long it takes you go from T-box. It's a ball and hole. How many more holes did you do that on? There's three of them. So it's like it was head-to-head for. I only do one. We all do one. I'm interested in this.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yeah, that's the sport. It sucks. Do they have competitions? I don't know. There probably are. There's some sort of subsect somewhere that does it. I luckily played like a perfect hole in like the, you have to hit it straight down the middle. Otherwise you screw yourself because then you're running all over the place.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Yeah. So yeah, I think TJ might be, I don't know where it was played. I think for play. Yes. Great start. Let's go, Dan. Come on now. Where to go?
Starting point is 01:07:30 Miserable. It sucks. My body was like, yeah. You're strong. You're strong. You're strong. Oh, yeah. Good form.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Yeah. Yeah, you look strong. Pretty hole. I just kept on telling myself, lift your knees up, lift your knees up. Dig, dig, dig. You look great. How beautiful. It was like you drove it down the middle.
Starting point is 01:07:49 I did. It was like, again, I played the perfect hole. What a beautiful hole. What a curse of this is you at your best golfing. You just got to do this every time? Yeah, right? So you're 35 seconds coming up? You're slowing down.
Starting point is 01:08:02 Oh, yeah. Stupid gimmick. All right What's that long way to run? 180 It was like Yeah 400 yards You're doing great
Starting point is 01:08:15 You need a club He's got his driver Right down the middle Damn Clearing out some leaves I don't know why I did that Is a par five Par four
Starting point is 01:08:24 Go straight Yeah So good Get out of that Great That was a really good Yeah What a damn second
Starting point is 01:08:33 Because you just don't want to be In sand You don't want to like Go all the way to the right Dude I think you punt Don't be afraid to put it Can't remember
Starting point is 01:08:43 I'm running away with you too Yeah I think that was shame He's doing great Yeah Very supportive from the boys Very supportive Getting a little bit of a wheeze at the end of the bed Oh my God
Starting point is 01:08:55 I would be puning Yeah I couldn't do this No My body was I just don't sprint anymore Bup and Run I don't know when I would When I would sprint
Starting point is 01:09:05 Yeah really good Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah. On the green. We're putting for par. It's so bad. Oh, man. It's embarrassing.
Starting point is 01:09:17 I think PFT did the par three, which that's, you got to get one of those. Keep it going. You're on a great pace. Trent was very nice. Yep. Get in. Take your time. Take your time.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Yeah. Wow. That's great. good. I don't think I could have played that better. Yeah, and then the rest of the day was shot. Yeah. That was just like, I had the, yeah,
Starting point is 01:09:49 I had the, you know when you get like the smokers cough with deep lungs? Yeah. Not fun. Did that burn in there? Why did that come up to golf or golf handicaps? We were talking about stool analytics, and I was wondering how he comes up with his inspiration for every day, because it'll be, you know, golf handicaps.
Starting point is 01:10:08 caps tomorrow to be a percentage of gray beard hair. You know, it'll be whatever. We were originally talking about Connor Griffin, um, his fall off since he made that. Dude, he's a loser. He's a loser.
Starting point is 01:10:18 I actually, I had to go up to Cody today. That was really, that was what originally started. Yeah, I had to go up to Cody. I was like, don't hang out with Connor anymore because like,
Starting point is 01:10:25 Cody, you're a cool guy. Yeah. And Connor's a loser. Yeah. At everything. Every. He said everything.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Anything you could think of he loses that. It's unbelievable. And he's just like, and Dave just knows him as a loser. Yeah. That video back-to-back days. Almost to the point where I don't think he can... Yeah, another day, another dollar ground dog day.
Starting point is 01:10:45 I don't think it's smart for him to win again. If we show these to Connor mixed up, could he tell you what loss they were for? If we took the hat off? Knowing him. Yeah, yeah. Knowing him, he definitely could. Dave was very mean to you.
Starting point is 01:10:57 I'm like a parcel. To me? Yeah. No, I wasn't. I wasn't about the beginning of the video? No, talking about how every team just jumps over you. Oh, yeah, well, you know, in every mean thing, there's a little bit of truth.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Yeah. It is true. UCLA, it's kind of bullshit. We're halfway through the season. We'll see what happens with UCLA. I mean, they don't have an easy one Saturday. Let's go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:21 Let's go. Yeah. Wouldn't that be something? What if the badgers were the team? Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that be something? What did Mr. Seby's LSU? Wouldn't that be something?
Starting point is 01:11:29 I don't know if I like cocky Blutman. Oh, is he cocky? A little bit. He's dressing like an assistant coach now. Yeah, but he's a little like, he's like, we're going to be, we're going to be in the playoffs. He's been adding a little UCLA to his outfit every day. Yeah. Now they're six.
Starting point is 01:11:41 What is this? He's cocky. He's cocky. He goes to the state fair one fucking time. No doubt he's doing an accent. That's perfect. No, Blubman's a little cocky. It's, I don't, I'm happy for him.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Obviously, Wisconsin plays UCLA this weekend, so I'm not going to be happy for him this weekend. But he's a little cocky. I got to just get used to it. This is awesome, though. I mean, what a weekend. I'm happy for him. Fuck you not be. Very jealous.
Starting point is 01:12:10 UCLA could become the next Alabama and I could never turn on Blutman. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, it's not turn on. It's just I got to get used to him because he doesn't, he is a ball watcher in that he doesn't, I don't even think he has an NFL team, he doesn't have an NBA team, he has the Knights, and UCLA. So. And the Aces.
Starting point is 01:12:30 I see him as like almost removed from it, you know what I mean? Yeah. Where he just watches the ball, gives you unbiased tape. now that he now that his team is you know and he always was rooting for UCLA so it's not like he's bandwagon but now that he's like in it like man I got to figure out this cocky Blutman well what I love about it got to figure it out the last last two weekends he's gone to games and it does take him away from his natural environment of ball watching and so even though he's winning and even though he's still a little sad he's missing some ball he's lost his identity is that not correct Blutman
Starting point is 01:13:04 you're just a little, a 10% of you is a little sad to miss some ball? Yeah, higher. I think it's mostly that I'm just, I have to, I need Wisconsin to beat UCLA. So I'm getting up for. Where's the game? In the Rose Bowl. That's in the Rose Bowl. Did T. Bob talk about his plane ride to Dallas on Wobb?
Starting point is 01:13:23 No, he did not. What, uh, what, what is this? So T. So Teabot was sitting in front of me on the plane. And I had my, it, we just took off. I had my eyes. for like five minutes and I look up and he's not there. And so about a half hour passes and he's not back.
Starting point is 01:13:41 And I'm like, oh, he must have just like switched seats. Like there's no way he's going to the bathroom. He claims his bladder is so bad and he was he was window seat sitting next to two older people who were dozing off. So he felt bad for making them get up. This guy sat in the bathroom for maybe 35 minutes reading a book and went through three piss cycles. He just waited in there.
Starting point is 01:14:03 You just wait it for the next? What about the other people that had to pee? Three times. There was two bathrooms. Okay. I think that's fucked up on T. Bob's part for not getting an aisle. Did the staff not knock on the door being like, hey, man. I think there was one of those where there's another bathroom right across from the bathroom.
Starting point is 01:14:19 So like people were just waiting in that line. But what a move. Three times. Cycled through three peas. 40 minutes. On her off the leash. Now there's times before bed where I'll pee and I'm like, I can't go to sleep yet because I know in other one's coming so I wait I waited out but I've never done that on a plane yeah I mean you can
Starting point is 01:14:38 only do it if there's another bathroom that's like right across which there were doing bathrooms I believe so yeah I didn't even go we were in line to get into medieval times and chef donnie goes oh he looks at his phone he like starts laughing he's like my parents are sending me embarrassing photos for my birthday and I forgot I took violin lessons and I was like oh I got to see this picture of you holding the violin and he shows it to me and he's just an adult adult. Wait a second. When did you take violin lessons?
Starting point is 01:15:08 He was like, when I moved here. What? He moved to Chicago and started taking violin lessons. Oh, man. He bought a very nice... And he said his teacher made him take that. He made him take it. That's two years ago.
Starting point is 01:15:23 What the hell? But he said it like it was... Yeah, he was so embarrassed. So he doesn't have his violin anymore, but he said he remember. some songs. I would love to, because he wanted to be like a country, like, fiddle player. I think this is when he got into Billy Strings. Oh, yeah. Violin is top, top three worst instruments to have a novice learning around you. Oh, it has to sound so bad. What would be the other two?
Starting point is 01:15:53 Drums for sure. Drums, maybe a horn. Even if you're good at drums, I don't want to just hear that solo. Yeah, what would be the other one? I went from viola to drums as a kid. My parents probably wanted to kill me. That was my two. It needs to be something like screeches. In the neighborhood growing up, well, not really a neighborhood, but in the neighborhood growing up, there was a person a couple of doors down. Their kid was in the band that would practice at home.
Starting point is 01:16:18 There was a trumpet or something or whatever it was. They weren't good. And in the afternoon you was hear it. It fucking sucked. Tuba would be not bad. I think tubas are the funniest. That's a fun sound. They're the funniest.
Starting point is 01:16:32 They're hilarious. In New York, I lived above a guy who had gone to, I think it's Holy Cross the one in Yonkers or whatever. What's that university? They get into the March Madness sometimes. Holy Cross is not New Yorkers, but it's. I don't know if anyone's in Yonnas. Ciona? Iona.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Iona. And he was there on a bagpipe scholarship, so he was always playing a bagpipes scholarship. Oh, Bagpipe scholarship? Yeah. Oh, Nico's out for the rest of the season. Blutman, come in here. What does it mean? He wasn't playing well.
Starting point is 01:17:02 No. Niko. Is their backup better? Probably just as good for what they're doing. Shit. It's weird that that came out right after. Right as, yeah. Wait, so, Kate, what instrument do you play?
Starting point is 01:17:19 Bagpipes. Bagpipes are cool. He was really good. But you also, when you're listening to bagpipes, you're like, I should just be at a funeral or an Irish bar. Yeah. There's really only two places bagpipes exist. ACDC. ACDC, good call.
Starting point is 01:17:32 Yes, good call. Weird to hear it outside of March. You are very UCLA. out. Of course I am. I have been all year. They've, they've reignited the fire and not just me, but so many others that love this program. Okay. I was talking like a coach. Is Nico being out big? We're a team. We're all about the team. Come on. Give me the real. I mean, yeah, it's big. We're going to miss them in the run game, but it's not like he was throwing the ball very well. Okay. I think Ty Defenbach could come. He threw a great ball at the end of the first half. Brian Rowe dropped. I should have caught it.
Starting point is 01:18:05 I don't know. We'll see. So how good? Did you fly with the team? No. Oh. I flew from Chicago. They flew from LA. No, I didn't know if you flew back with him or something.
Starting point is 01:18:15 Oh, no, no. Some of them thought I was, but they don't understand a lot of people don't understand that I, like, got a legit job I got to do here. Yeah. And they want me at every game and stuff. I'm sorry, man. Yeah. This is, this is, they need me.
Starting point is 01:18:32 They need you. You want me to go? Yeah. Are you going to help with? They said, They let you do the Brandon Walker show live from the Rose Bowl. There was talk of it. Live from the field.
Starting point is 01:18:41 Do it. That'd be cool. Does it make you happy? Of course. And I want you to do it. I'll do social if you want me to for you. Okay. Where's the game?
Starting point is 01:18:49 LA. Oh, yeah. I'll work social for you. I'll be willing to help out. I'm a team player. I've always been a team player. You have been. Are you going to help them with the transfer portal?
Starting point is 01:19:04 Can't get too far ahead of. ourselves. No, but I'm saying like, right now. No, but after the season, like you're trying again in our head. No, I'm not. I'm just asking like, you guys, you know about all these players. Are they going to ask you for advice? I don't know. We'll see. I think you. I think you're, I think here's the issue. Cinema spreadsheet. Yeah, I love that.
Starting point is 01:19:22 Here's the issue. I think the two best targets in the parole list here. I hate to say it, but you know who they are. Oh. Yeah. Legree and Braden Atkinson. It's not all about you. But your guy, your guy's. fine Brandon.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Yeah, it's not all about. We're talking to Oregon State. Talking about Oregon State. Talking about our favorite team of the country. And they should stay at Oregon State for the remainder of their careers, but unfortunately, that's not how it goes in this day and age. Those guys are awesome. And someone's going to pay on a bunch of my money.
Starting point is 01:19:50 I have bet Oregon State like four weeks in a row, and I don't, I just open up the app and they're just up 35 nothing every single time. You just look, they, they sports. Oregon State. That's a team that's not going to ever. Kyle. K.B. .
Starting point is 01:20:03 They're nasty. Kyle. Every single game, you just open it up and it's like, oh, six minutes into the game, they're up 21 nothing, cool. Oh, Brian Atkinson, 16 of 16 for 300 yards. And Jesse Legree has nine catches for 150 and two every week. Dude, they're nice like that. You want to talk about Jeremiah Smith being dominant week and week out? Jesse Legree is doing the same thing.
Starting point is 01:20:23 He's a true freshman. He's got more yards. He didn't start playing wider Cere until he was a senior in high school. He has 12 touchdowns, Kyle. Problem child. He put on his eye black. Problem child. I think it was probably.
Starting point is 01:20:34 talking about Oregon. Problem kid. Problem kid. Not as cool, but still. Still. Problem child. They're like legitimately must see. They're must see TV.
Starting point is 01:20:44 They're must see TV, bro. What are you saying about Oregon State definitive? Why don't you take a step back? What are they ranked? They're not ranked. They lost the first two games. They're not fucking. They played Houston and Texas second.
Starting point is 01:20:56 They held their own. They fucking played them hard. And they put them on the map for Big Cat and I, and we love them. Why are you all about this? Because, dude, if you ain't, Watch it. You made me watch them. If you had a team that you, it's like they're my banana stand.
Starting point is 01:21:11 There's money always in Oregon State. I could lose every bet, but Oregon State's coming up. They got a tilt against Fresno. They're going to win by 100. You're talking about in the world of gambling. Well, yeah, and also they're very fun to watch. They're just fun to watch. I mean, they scored 66.
Starting point is 01:21:24 They're so good defense. Kyle, they're so good. Last week, the Colorado State defensive coordinator got fired at halftime. Yep. He left the field. He can't figure it out. And then the first. He left the field, Kyle.
Starting point is 01:21:39 He got fired at halftime. Tyson Summer. In the middle of a game. They're like, get out of here, dude. You suck. And then the new DC called plays for a first time ever, and the first possession got a strip sack on them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:54 And Oregon State, they like that. And they just trounced them. Yeah. But, dude, think about that. They literally like, dude, you suck at this job. You're getting killed by Oregon State. You're out. Middle of the game.
Starting point is 01:22:03 You got to look into them. And this is Colorado State, though. Yeah. That's the sad part of this story. Well, let's not do that. It's not judge. The conference realignment left out, Oregon, stay, and Washington, Stan. You look this year, Washington State stinks.
Starting point is 01:22:18 I don't think they may a good hire. Oregon State may have phenomenal hire. And you look at all across the country at teams that are making great hires, not Penn State, not Arkansas, but teams that are and they could flip it in an offseason. Oregon State did that with no resources. No resources. So I'd love to get behind Oregon State You gotta
Starting point is 01:22:35 It's like what is their ceiling It feels like in this day of football It's like what can they do They can make the playoff Okay They could be the best group of sixth rap If they win out win the Pac-12 That would
Starting point is 01:22:45 That would have two wins against Boise State Yeah Yeah Get on them Most likely scenario Kyle though Is they come a little short of the playoff Get you excited about next year And then all their players leave
Starting point is 01:22:59 Let me see what the Yeah Yeah And then Yeah probably somewhere. Is that demoralizing, like, as their coach? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:05 Like, well, their coach is going to leave. Their coach is. Oh, yeah. The coach is gone. It's really, the only losers in this are the fans. Yeah. Yeah. That's a bummer.
Starting point is 01:23:15 Or could be like down, so, they're down so bad. I know. They see all their West Coast friends level up and. And they don't even play Oregon this year, which they could have beaten them. Yeah, that's, it's bullshit. Pitiful. Stinks. All right.
Starting point is 01:23:29 That was a ball talk. Thank you, Blumman. Thanks, guys. I guess. maybe Brown Walker show Saturday night Rose Bowl we'll see but we have to beat you yeah good luck buddy okay good luck good luck good luck you're ready to learn me symposa okay get ready to learn nope not gonna learn it okay oh wow fuck yeah oh okay all right I like that sorry for coming at you Kyle but we really had to organ they lost to Houston yeah I know
Starting point is 01:23:58 Houston's good they lost the first two games of season all right it happens We're just having fun then No, look at their scores After that Like silly fandom What is that? What are you talking about? Look at their scores
Starting point is 01:24:12 They beat U-Tep By 20 something Yeah Belt to ass Montana Belta ass Colorado
Starting point is 01:24:23 Colorado We ran 105 plays last this Saturday. 11 completed passes. Yeah. The only other schools to do that are all service academy. I saw that, yeah, 300 yards rushing, ran 105 plays, lost by 30. Oh. What are you saying they were going to be good?
Starting point is 01:24:50 They would start off 3 and 0, you know, ranked Virginia. And then they're averaging, they're letting up about 11 and a half yards of play. Okay. You know, their defensive coordinator said we're the worst defense in college football. He's making a million and a half. came out and said that. He's like, yeah, we are the worst. Oh, maybe historically the worst. Yeah. He's like, we got to reteach everyone.
Starting point is 01:25:09 Oh, no, that was Georgia Tech. George Tech's coach was like, we got to reteach them how to play football. That's a bad spot. I don't get how performance fluctuates so crazy in college football. What do you mean? Like, how can a team that, like, starts off good beats top teams, then go? Well, Virginia is not a tough. Virginia was a top team? Not a top team. They beat Coastal Carolina by a possession. It's not great.
Starting point is 01:25:34 It basically happens in September when all the preseason rankings are still fresh. It's like Kentucky went. Kentucky's won other big game since, but Kentucky went and beat Texas A&M. And everyone's like, holy fuck, how did they do this? Texan Am was top 10. Texas A.m is garbage. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:52 Like really bad. So then you find out. This is why I can only do NFL. Yeah. At the college scene, it's fun. It's exciting. It's too much, though. You're an NFL guy, yeah, I get it.
Starting point is 01:26:05 You're Jets. An offense guy. You Jets. I haven't looked at the defense yet. Aaron Glenn with the challenge flag was so fucking funny. I saw the short video. The GIF? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:19 That's what it was. The Giff? Che, by the way, coward, not here today, even though we had a tie, which he didn't have in the data. No, data's ruined. Data has been ruined like $7,000. First game of the year, right?
Starting point is 01:26:36 Yeah, first game of the year. First game of the year. Data ruined. But this might be his worst data yet. He'll somehow be like, well, I had the winner. I actually went four for 32. Yeah. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:26:49 Oh, I said the Seahawks were going to be good. I had them in the playoffs. A lot of people didn't. Did he have the Niners not making the playoffs? Niners, awesome. Did he have the Niners? I don't know. I mean, he had the Chiefs at 6 and 11.
Starting point is 01:27:01 and they've, they're, oh. And he had the bucks in 11 and 6. That's right. One and four. Do you have the Niners? Where do you have the Niners? Titus, you have to eat 10 and 7. There we go.
Starting point is 01:27:19 Okay. His dolphins, right? Oh, yeah. Brandon is. We're really putting them through the ringer. They're not. Nikki smokes, to his credit, said a smart thing. It needed a lot of clarification.
Starting point is 01:27:32 He's like, we're the best winless team. He said this before the Texans won, and we're like, he's like, we're the best winless team. We're like, well, what about the Texans? He's like, yeah, but they're not supposed to be 0 and 4. And we're like, what about the Chargers? They're not supposed to be 0.5. So you're just better than the Titans. He's like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:49 I'm like, all right, I agree. The teams that are supposed to. I agree. That's pretty sound logic. Yeah. For the teams that we're supposed to suck, we're not the worst. He's right. your Herbert take though Kyle
Starting point is 01:28:03 Oof Yeah Max I'll miss comprehending the take I fear he stinks out loud Max has Max put a nickname on him That is stuck
Starting point is 01:28:13 What he said He called him a big stupid pick guy Last year And he just throws big stupid picks Every time It's bad It big stupid pick guy I never said he was the top
Starting point is 01:28:25 NFL quarterback You just said he was Where he was though I'm saying he was a top human Because He was He was. The Harbaugh promised Hall of Fame.
Starting point is 01:28:33 Was what? Yeah. He probably, he promised. I actually think he caught him the greatest of all time. I'm actually worried about Harbaugh. He's never lost eight in a row. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:28:40 Never lost eight in a row. Wow. Oh. You think he'll go back to college when he gets fired? He might. You got to admit, he might have spent the last two or three years at Michigan on an easy mode. And then when he got back to the pros, it was a little bit different. My idea I threw out on mostly sports is he should fake COVID and Dodge competition like he did at Michigan.
Starting point is 01:29:00 That's what turned Michigan around. when they didn't play the game when they didn't play Ohio State and he just faked he should start doing that turn the Chargers season around not a bad idea I predict Justin Hervers
Starting point is 01:29:14 be known as the best ever to play the position of quarterback yikes this is like a parent being like my kid is so smart that was on the White House with Michael Irvin Jesus but it's still early right
Starting point is 01:29:28 when you go on the White House you say crazy you say crazy you can't be held responsible you got to bring your craziest take It's like NBA players with Taylor Rooks. They just be saying it. Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to say.
Starting point is 01:29:39 They just be saying anything. You guys are aware of that. They sit down to do interviews with Taylor Rooks. They're like, yeah, I'm going to win MVP like five times probably. Dante. Just be saying the wildest shit. By the way, football has a way of turning one game into a full week of conversation. And Draft Kings keeps you close to all of it.
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Starting point is 01:30:48 bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. $50 and rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.com slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state. The Don. Hey guys. What's up? I got some good news.
Starting point is 01:31:10 Let's go. Got a new project. All right. The backyard's kind of complete. The tables are coming later this week. The plants are coming. Hopefully Friday. Donnie's hanging the lights later this week.
Starting point is 01:31:25 So that'll be done. So next thing on the agenda, we're launching Barstool Presents. All right, let's go. Tell me more, please. There we go, thank you. I was waiting. Oh, okay. Waiting for somebody to ask about it.
Starting point is 01:31:40 Hey, Dante, what's Barstall Presents? Oh, no, we get it. We know what it is. So remember the All-American Reject Show? Yeah. That went so well, and there was such a follow-up from a lot of, like, music labels, bands, artists, wanting to come here and perform, we just didn't have anything really to offer
Starting point is 01:32:04 or do around that. So we're going to really try to make something that we can showcase, not just music either. I mean, you guys have so many big name and up-and-coming comedians come through. We're going to do comedy. There might be some magic involved.
Starting point is 01:32:24 Yes, please. Ventriloquism? True acquit. We know a guy. Elyquist. Yep. Pretty much anybody that has talent, we're going to showcase. So staging, lighting, sound, we're bringing, it's going to be big.
Starting point is 01:32:37 It's going to be awesome. First one we're going to do, we're shooting like a sizzle reel next Thursday, the 22nd. Can you say you have? Comedy showcase. Bader's helping out. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, he's very well connected and very talented himself. Bader's going to help host the comedy portion.
Starting point is 01:32:54 The music, we're still lining up. Jordan, you know, fields tons of. request for that. Yeah, so next Thursday, 22nd afternoon, make sure you all stick around. Absolutely. I love that. Yeah. Cool. While we have you here, Dante,
Starting point is 01:33:08 this is going to be exciting. I'm very excited for this. I have a question for you. The billionaire feeding the rats. Do you guys know about this? Yeah. We talked about it, but we said Dante feels like he probably is on this for a while. I was going to
Starting point is 01:33:24 blog it, but I don't know an angle to blog it from. You don't know an angle about a billionaire feeding rats. I'm like so confused by the whole thing. You? Yeah. What? That's never stopped you before.
Starting point is 01:33:43 I mean, do you think he's sick? Yeah, he's 94. What do you mean by sick? Like, he's not all there, right? Like he thinks they're like puppies or. But why were puppies he feed him himself? Right. Why wouldn't he feed him by his house, too?
Starting point is 01:34:00 But why is he feeding them upscale European nuts that are like hard to, like. It's all by the farmers market? He's got it like that, Kate. Yeah. Is it all by that farmer's market? That's just like that general area. That particular area is like the hardest hit. I read that this weekend and obviously it came up because the alderman is like has no other options.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Like he's like, I have to put this out in the media because this guy is just not getting the point. Yeah. And I was just, I was like, this is so. bizarre. I find this remarkably disappointing, Dante. I would have thought you would link this to the CIA or to aliens or something. I hate, like,
Starting point is 01:34:37 he's mentally ill. I don't like, like, joke around about mental illness. What are we doing here? I mean, he's, he's fucking shot. He's 94, not all there. Like I said, he probably thinks he's feeding, like, but he's not feeling anything. He's deputizing people to feed him. And he's got, like,
Starting point is 01:34:53 a younger looking wife. And, like, a younger lady opened that door. Like, got people around him and he's not giving anyone an explanation and he's feeding rats nuts what do you think it's like a batman villain thing like he's trying to be well there's theories that like he's trying to get the farmers market closed down or something so he's trying to infest oh i didn't read that yeah yeah i did he's out there i don't think he's as innocent as you why are you being so restrained are you in his pockets yeah are they nuts like something's going on oh i fucking hate rats they scare the shit out of me.
Starting point is 01:35:27 Like, you scream when you see them? No, but like the really big ones that like dart across the screen. You wouldn't scream. You'd make you jump. I would scream. Shanta, you're, you're the screamer up there. Sometimes I bring trash out late, late, late, and they're in the bins. Have that ever happened to you?
Starting point is 01:35:45 Yeah. Oh, how do they get up there? You scream? Yeah. Billionaire. Yeah, when they're like eye level with you, I scream. He makes ladders for them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:53 How do they get up there? I feel like you would know the answer to this. They climb. They can crawl through anything. They climb up trees. Sharp little clouds. Can we ask about the farm animals? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:02 What happened? Dante wants to get a goat for the backyard. Yes. Done. It would only stay in the backyard. I could take care of it. Yes, done. We saw these really cool.
Starting point is 01:36:11 Why are you so high on it? I just think it would be awesome to have a goat in the backyard. It would be awesome. Almost certainly can't do it in the city, but whatever. It would be awesome. I'm sure we'd have to get 38 permits. So we went to the state fair on this weekend, and Danny did exploring and he came and grabbed us and was like you got to come in here and you walked us into the
Starting point is 01:36:29 what was that even called the south african bull goats no no but what was that area called i don't know i think it's like a arm yeah kind of but they were like showing these goats off like the one guy was like vacuuming it yeah they were pristine it was like a dog show but for goats what yeah it was a four h it was bizarre yeah i think it was something like that but these they were beautiful you don't like the goats pig cat goat see I just feel like the goats going to die and then I'm going to play. They take care of themselves. We wouldn't have to mow the lawn anymore.
Starting point is 01:37:03 They eat the grass. People got mad when we couldn't keep a goldfish alive. We can. Oh, yeah. We can use its milk. No. You're right. No, Dante, we're not going to be using the goat's milk.
Starting point is 01:37:15 Great cheese. Best cheese. Go cheese? Goat cheese? Yeah, it is. Not some of the least cheese is in this world. There's the, TJ. Pull it up.
Starting point is 01:37:27 No, no, no. I'm sending goats straight to S. Toward the bottom. What? I'm not going to go to S. Two, no. Hold up.
Starting point is 01:37:37 Oh, eat the fuck up. You did it every day. Two creak. You eat go to eat cheese every day. No way. My salad. Goat is a lot. It's the best.
Starting point is 01:37:45 No. It is. It's fine. Sharp cheddar. Oh, it's a sharp cheddar. Gouda. And. Smoke Guda.
Starting point is 01:37:53 Smoke Guda. Smoke Guda. Lady animals aren't just. No, you get a lot. Get it out of there. Go his ass. Go to Zess. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 01:38:01 No. Absolutely, yes. Spreadable, which is huge. All right. You put it on it. Everybody just relax for a second. You lock in. And chill out.
Starting point is 01:38:10 Obviously Humboldt fog. Um, I mean, Casso Blanco is. I mean, cream cheese should be ass. We use it for everything. Monterey Jack on a hot soup.
Starting point is 01:38:21 Forget it. So good. Pepper Jack? This is going to tear this family apart. Oh, my God. Kobe Jack. Bree is, There's so many good ones.
Starting point is 01:38:28 I mean, just classic cheddar's got to be ass, right? Bree is S. I would say Brie is S as well. Parmesan has been climbing. But I can't, you think about Bree and goat beside each other. I just did. Get goat out of S and let's have a real conversation here. I don't think you've had goat cheese.
Starting point is 01:38:42 I've had goat cheese. I don't think you've ever had goat cheese. You're not ass. It's not S. It has a weird taste. It's a B. Go cheese is a league. Can I ask you guys a question about a cheese that's on here that I think is just like it's the most.
Starting point is 01:38:54 Whiz? Blah. I don't get the appeal of American cheese. Whoa. I'm with you. I'm sorry. That's the only grilled cheese with yellow cheese sucks. It has to be white American.
Starting point is 01:39:06 No, cheddar. No way, dude. Cheddar. That's the thing with American cheese. Everyone's like, oh, to wait for grilled cheese or burgers? Cheddar's better on both. Disagree. Solid disagree.
Starting point is 01:39:16 Now, a nice Cooper. Here's my input. Dan is right and wrong. It's better tasting. American belts. American melts the best. Yes. Cheddar does not melt the best.
Starting point is 01:39:29 It tastes better. Cheddar does not melt great on burrs. Americans like plastic. No. You guys ain't the wrong in America. Dante, fuck you. No, I'm torn. That cheese list I could never rank.
Starting point is 01:39:41 They're all so good. Americans like kid cheese. Yeah. There shouldn't be a tier under B. American is kid cheese. Right. Be A and S. American is cheddar cheese that they made to melt better.
Starting point is 01:39:53 Let's just. Yeah, but it doesn't taste like cheddar. Cheese is a anonymous. It's made out of cheddar. Cheese is the best. food. Let's shout out cheese. But there are three that just put me into shackles. Such ass.
Starting point is 01:40:03 And they're not even my favorite. Blue cheese. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Makes me prehistoric. Yeah. Great.
Starting point is 01:40:12 We're with you. Makes me explode. Yeah. Okay. Like, something about when it hits my lips. Yeah. Not even my tongue. Just changes your body composition?
Starting point is 01:40:21 Blue cheese. I don't know what. It's the sharpness. Mm-hmm. Parmesan. Of course. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, like the Parmesan of cheeses.
Starting point is 01:40:29 And I will always opt for Pepper Jack. Yeah. Pepper Jack is way better on burgers than American. Yes, I agree with all of that. Smoke Gouda, too. Oh, like smoked Gouda, yeah. Oh, my God, is it so good. And this motherfucker put a goat at the top.
Starting point is 01:40:45 Mark is a spreadable guy, which I respect. Yeah. You are a spreadable. Bree, goat. Yeah. Dude, you get in charcuttery. If it doesn't have Bree, I send it back. Got to have some Bree on that.
Starting point is 01:40:56 there. I like a good hard cheese too, but you got to have Brie on there. I was peeing. Is feta half goat? Is it half goat, half cow? Don't shoot me. I always thought it was just goat. We weren't going to shoot you. That's a silly thing to shoot you over. I was dumb motherfucker. I'm sitting here
Starting point is 01:41:14 preaching about goat cheese and I always thought feta like fell under sheep. A mixture of sheep and goat. Interesting. Fed is you can't eat feta with like crack. Fed is good. Yeah. Fed is.
Starting point is 01:41:28 Yeah. Are you a big Greek salad guy? Not necessarily. I love it. That's part why I like. Athenian room, Feta. Oh,
Starting point is 01:41:37 come on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Great call. Yes. Oh, my fucking God. Talk to me. Sweet, Danny.
Starting point is 01:41:43 Oh, my God. Keep going, Danny. Go ahead. Keep going. Athenian room. Skirt steak. Whoa. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:41:50 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You don't get the chicken Kalamata dinner? Never. I've never gotten anything besides the skirt thing. You're a kid. You told me to get that.
Starting point is 01:41:58 never gotten anything else chicken calamada dinner is the greatest chicken that's ever been created chicken man no no no he's right no he's right no chicken's chicken bad you know a good chicken's not beaten skirt steak especially in skirt sake that's great i Danny get the chicken calamata dinner and then tell me the chicken's chicken okay but i'm also getting i'm getting a skirt steak i don't give a fuck you will not tell me chicken's chicken again you're getting a side steak It's the juiciest best chicken ever. I've been going there since I was a kid. I forgot anything.
Starting point is 01:42:31 And you've been missing out on the best thing on the menu. Now I'm going to get foam. You want to go to this week? I'll go with you. Let's go Thursday. You know who else has a great Greek chicken? Carson's. Okay.
Starting point is 01:42:42 Fantastic. They're Greek, so it's not like, but they. It's just hard. Athenia room and Carson's one, two for me. Dude, I cannot believe you've never gotten the chicken Kalamata there. That's actually shocking. It's that good. I'm scared now.
Starting point is 01:42:54 It's so good. Oh, that looks so good. Have you got the skirts sake? Yes. Okay, okay. What's Calamata? Is that olives? This, this.
Starting point is 01:43:04 Google that. Is Athenian Room the one that's connected to the pub? Yes. Glass guys. Yeah, that place seems awesome. Brandon, I sent you a... The best. Fired. Danny's right, too.
Starting point is 01:43:12 Their fries are. They... Yeah, wet. You got to get them wet. You got to get them wet. The lemon juice. Oh, they're fire. It was a T.
Starting point is 01:43:20 The Faye's favorite spot. She... Oh, that does look really good. She filmed that. David Letterman Netflix. It's so fucking good. Chicken's chicken. Chicken is not chicken.
Starting point is 01:43:28 That was assing. You haven't had the medieval. I'm so mad at you never having chicken Kalamata. That's. Let's go right now. Oh, that'd be so good. It's the best. All right.
Starting point is 01:43:40 Thank you, Dante. Thanks, guys. Varsal Presents. Varsal Presents next Thursday. Everybody better be there. Yes. Please. Yep.
Starting point is 01:43:48 Thank you. Sorry about the goat. Yeah. Brandon, are you about to be out $1,200 bucks? Why? I sent him a Pete Rose coffee table. Oh, wow. Used or themed?
Starting point is 01:44:07 It's maybe both. Oh, God. He's sliding? He's sliding and the glass is on top. Isn't that not? Doesn't look enough like that? Shouldn't you be sliding head first? He should be, but.
Starting point is 01:44:16 Listen, man. He's trapped by the table. Maybe that's why it's... Doing a lot. Is that Pete Rose? It's not even close to Pete. This Twitter account, Insane, Facebook, marketplace items? That is so sick.
Starting point is 01:44:29 That's a follow. Brandon and I are in the middle of a gift off right now. Yeah, and I'm up. But you are so fucked with what I have coming in. No, you don't. I spent three hours Googling what to buy you last night. Brandon. I ignore my kids to buy you a gift. I'm telling you how I, you are so
Starting point is 01:44:49 fucked. All right, bring it, bitch. Did your house like the Pokemon art that I bought you? One of us did. I won't say which. But one of us really appreciated it. Which Pokemon? He got me, like, giant versions of the Game Boy games.
Starting point is 01:45:08 Yeah. Like this big, but not just one, every single Game Boy game. So I have a lot of oversized Game Boy cartridges. From Mint? Yeah, right? That's exactly what I got you. From Mint, yes. I've seen it.
Starting point is 01:45:20 Yeah, shout out, Matt. That's from Mintz. Me too. Hmm. His. Nope. Not going to, nope. No. Say it.
Starting point is 01:45:27 Say it. Boy, that ankle heals up real fast when he's not here, doesn't it? He was, yeah, he was never heard of them thinking. VIP passes made me mad. That's all I'll say. When he only got one for him. He didn't grab her bag out of the trunk. He took the last room.
Starting point is 01:45:41 He took VIP. She had to piss in a porta potty. I don't think that the five VIP passes were ever real. That might have just been a sweetened the deal kind of thing. We could bring him down and talk to him. No. I swear on the record that was not me? He's not here.
Starting point is 01:45:56 Okay, good. Why would he be here on a Monday? Yeah, that's, It's true. Yeah. Come on, dude. It's Monday. He's like Garfield.
Starting point is 01:46:05 He hates Mondays. Loves lasagna. Well, he's got to get. He's sleeping in that Garfield bed. He's got to get back for his shot. That's true. Well, that's not until 11 o'clock tonight. That's third quarter of Monday night football.
Starting point is 01:46:17 When you're watching Monday Football tonight, just remember. Yeah. Just having a strange man show up at his house and shoot him in his side with a drug, off-market drug. He has a man penetrate him every Monday. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, do you guys, why don't paper towels and napkins get more guff for being essentially the same product?
Starting point is 01:46:39 Oh my God. They're not the same. I'm not the same. Why are we talking shit about the stuff? Obsessed with napkins. I'm very thankful for napkins. I would never talk shit. You don't use napkins?
Starting point is 01:46:49 That sentence, he actually wrote that sentence. No, no. Why don't paper towels and napkins get more guff? Why aren't we giving them more guff? Like, tonight I'm going to take out a paper towel roll and I'm going to start giving it some guff. Dude, you're just a napkin. Who do we allocate the guff toward? But also, would it, the guff would be towards,
Starting point is 01:47:07 I think it would be towards napkins being like, grow up, become a paper towel. Right? No, because they're a bit abrasive on the mouth. But the paper towel is a better version of a napkin. More absorbent, without doubt. And it's also easier to rip and pull. You don't have to rip. You don't have to rip an app.
Starting point is 01:47:22 I use paper towel. No, no, but I'm saying like to just, I think they both have a place. Among our products, paper towel is way up there. That's a terrific little product. We're a paper towel house. We don't do napkins. At dinner, yes.
Starting point is 01:47:33 Yeah, right. So napkins should be getting the guff. You've been replaced. You don't say pass me a napkin. You throw them to paper towel. Right. You don't have a pile of like the napkins you get from a like door dashing. That's the thing.
Starting point is 01:47:44 You're never getting the right amount of napkins either. It's either way too many. Yeah, not enough. Who's complaining about too many napkins? But you always have paper towels. Fuck. So the napkins get the guff. Then you should have read a little bit longer.
Starting point is 01:47:54 That's not the best one. Oh, no. Are you four or against spiral staircases? Mm. I think I'm a. Who is either for or against Spiral Strait? No, I'm against them. I used to be insanely four until I had them in my first apartment.
Starting point is 01:48:07 They're brutal. They suck. But they look good. No, I don't even think they look good. They look good. They look great. Viral staircase looks good. You're against them aesthetically too?
Starting point is 01:48:18 Yeah, they're just dangerous and they... I have one on the outside going from my deck. I always feel like I'm... Do you stub your toe? I almost fall every time. Yeah, they're tricky. I'm going to get stuck on it. And my old house, it was kind of narrow.
Starting point is 01:48:30 We had an extra floor, basement, first floor, second floor, third floor. And they said for like fire code or whatever, we had to have an out, like a spiral staircase that would go from the very top to the bottom, 100 spiral staircase just in its own room. Since then. That's incredible. That's, it never ends. No, yeah. The apartment you stayed at had that tall one and it took forever. That's right.
Starting point is 01:48:52 And dogs can't go up it. You get scared. No, no. I stood on, there was like a weird, weird space that you could just well. A ceilingless room. Yeah. What makes a spark? Like, what about the half turn, you know?
Starting point is 01:49:04 Is that spiral? Yeah, that's a spiral, I think. I think that's a nice little round. Does that have to complete the rotation to be a spiral? You could never get a piece of furniture up it. No. Oh, yeah. That's good luck out with an outcouch.
Starting point is 01:49:16 You're fucked. And dogs. You've got to think about dogs. Thinking about them. They do not like spiral staircases. A little timid. Yeah. Rightfully so.
Starting point is 01:49:26 Dogs always know. Are a spiral at the end and at the top a little. bit in our eyes. We're in like a skinny townhouse and I cannot tell you how many times and they're carpeted that if you stay too close to the skinny edge how many times we've busted all of us and bust our asses. Dangerous. Taking the laundry down. Dangerous. Yeah. Visually appealing though. Yes, yes. Yeah, he's on one to do they say. If you've got a throat issue, would you use one of those throat voice things like cane or would you rather learn sign language? What? I think I'd rather learn sign language. I learned something this week and that blew my mind and I'm
Starting point is 01:49:59 I'm curious if the room knew about this. Are you aware of the... So this is the 155th anniversary of the Great Chicago Fire, which was October 8 through 10th. This Thursday through Saturday marked the anniversary that the fire raged on. We're all familiar with that, right? Yes.
Starting point is 01:50:14 Bessie. Kind of defined the city. That's the second city. That's right. Right, the Great Chicago Fire. Are you aware that in Pistigo, Wisconsin, there was a fire that was the deadliest wildfire in the history.
Starting point is 01:50:29 history of recorded mankind. No? No. That nowhere on planet Earth has there been a fire that has killed more people than this fire in Dore County in northern Wisconsin that happened. How many people? They don't know. It killed so many people.
Starting point is 01:50:46 They don't even have like a, they believe it was like over 2,000. They didn't even count it up. I don't know if they like people were burned to a crisp. I don't know if people disappeared. They, they could. It's around 2,000 people were killed in this fire. That fire in Pistigo, Wisconsin started on October 8th, 1871, the exact same day of the Chicago fire.
Starting point is 01:51:06 They got fire cucked. How did they get fire cucked? They did. Their fire was better, though. No, I'm asking how could they have possibly gotten fire cucked out a whole city? They killed. 1.2 million acres. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Wait, so this blew my mind. So a rural Wisconsin fire killed more people than the great Chicago fire on the exact same day. I was reading about the great Chicago fire. I got distracted. by some links, and then I ended up on the Pashiko fire, and I was like, how was nobody ever on the exact same day? Do you know I wasn't Miss Hillary's cow either?
Starting point is 01:51:39 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Several cities in Michigan, including Holland and Manistee across Lake Michigan, also had major fires on the same day. What the fuck happened? Is this like the windiest day ever? This was an attack on America. Isn't that nuts? Now I'm going to get real into sequential tragedies.
Starting point is 01:51:55 There must be more. A shipwreck the same day as the Titanic? I don't know if I ever knew its name. That big time. It was fire there. Yeah, but it was exonerated and everything. Miss O'Leary had nothing to do with it. Neither did her cow.
Starting point is 01:52:07 But the cow was still delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good, good note. It's the biggest fire of all time. Yeah. And it's the second most famous upper Midwest fire on that day. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:20 And it was the deadliest fire ever. I was reading about deadly floods. Why? And there was a river in China that killed two million. Shit. That's so many. What? That's so many people.
Starting point is 01:52:31 And I don't think of... Yeah, two million people. Two million? That's too many. In my opinion. All at once in one foul swoop? I don't know. That's like the...
Starting point is 01:52:42 That's so many people. That's so many people. That's so many people, Bray. That's wipes out of Mississippi. There's a flood that killed all of Mississippi. How many stars do you think would be on the Chicago flag if they made it today? How many more notable events? Is that what they're for?
Starting point is 01:52:58 Yeah. Yeah, one's for the fire. Jordan would have Jordan, Jordan, getting drafted. One is Jordan, one's, Dicca, one's fire. Yeah. The round Sandberg game. One is alligator and Humboldt Park Lagoon.
Starting point is 01:53:10 Mallory Swanson coming back from her pregnancy. Biggap. Biggap. Badard playing tomorrow. I know. Blackhawks suck. Yeah, Badard's back, though. Really bad.
Starting point is 01:53:20 Yeah. Watch the game. It wasn't fun. Yeah, they're bad. But Badard's going to save it. That's what I say. Yeah. Why not?
Starting point is 01:53:27 Why not? Why not? Also, this is actually a good question. If booths are available at a restaurant, do you ever opt for a table? Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. Booth is so much. But why don't we give tables more guff for not being booths? Why shouldn't the restaurant should be all booths?
Starting point is 01:53:42 I've been doing bar seating. I like bar seating too. I'm not cool enough to do that. I'm not either, but it's just really good service. And I like sitting right next to my gal. You feel like a regular. Yes. You can go to a Michelin Star Restaurant.
Starting point is 01:53:57 Oh, we'll sit at the bar. Hop up the bar. Yeah, no, you feel like a regular. You get fed in five minutes. When they walk you to a table and you don't like the table, will you say, can I please sit somewhere else? No. I used to be a hostess. I'll do it.
Starting point is 01:54:08 And you people were the bane of my. Everybody wanted a booth. People go crazy waiting for a booth or get real mad over the booth or if they get stuck at a regular table and then the people that would ask to be moved. After they'd already been seated and got their drinks, they're like looking around and they're like, actually. Yeah. I won't sit down. I'll be like, uh, I'll be like, uh, We'll just wait.
Starting point is 01:54:29 Yeah, I'd just rather wait than sit here. I think people forget, like, we're trying to seat in a pattern for the waiters and waitresses. Yeah, for sure. But then. And then the waiters pissed at you. But what would be honest with you? Well, I don't like, okay, so, like, if it's a table on the outer ring of the restaurant, I'm fine. I don't like being in the middle.
Starting point is 01:54:50 I get really weird about being in the middle with surrounding the table. I don't like being in my bathroom. Not really. I don't like being in the middle. the whole crowd of the Brandon Walker College football show. Starring who? Brandon Walker. I think it's starring Liam Bluffin this year. Maybe this year.
Starting point is 01:55:05 This season. I don't think I'm the star anymore. What's the least deadly natural disaster? Like, do Tune Rados get too much praise? Well, so I feel like there's something, like, I think you mudslides get a lot of damage. I feel like hurricanes don't cause a lot of damage, but they don't necessarily kill them. They let you know
Starting point is 01:55:24 they're coming. Right. Earth wave? Yeah, safe waves, of course. Oh, here we go. We're going on with this. Now that we all know what that is. Here we fucking know. I'm happy to talk about it.
Starting point is 01:55:41 Yeah, avalanches because there's so many happen without people there. Yeah, true. Man, dying in an avalanche would be pretty bad. I would imagine. Pretty bad. You'd be so cold. Well, you just wouldn't be panicking. Yeah, it'd be cold and scared.
Starting point is 01:55:59 Yeah, really scary. as you're tumbling down the hill. It's really shitty luck. Yeah. Your body's getting... Tough way. On the entire Earth, like most of the Earth is sitting still, except for the Earth that you chose,
Starting point is 01:56:12 and now it's falling on top of you. Yeah. Yeah. That would suck bad, man. Oh, can you do the last read, Brandon? Porkrines. Oh, pork rinds. I love porkrines.
Starting point is 01:56:26 Porkrines.com. Football season's here, and so is your crunch time hero of snacks. The Almighty Porkrine. Porkrines.com has three new flavors. Perfect. for football season, air-fried buffalo wing. Sign me up for that. Air-fried pizza and pimento cheese.
Starting point is 01:56:39 Oh, my God. Pimento cheese, pork rinds. Maybe I'm the only one, but that sounds amazing. We're talking about snacks, so crunchy. It puts those pretentious chips and pretzels to shame. Let's face it, chips and pretzels. You have been bench. Porkrines.com, the nation's premier hub for pork rind lovers everywhere. It's once again celebrating crunch time heroes on and off the field
Starting point is 01:56:58 with its crunch time hero of the week. each week during the 14-week regular season in college football, one player with a standout player, key tackle will be named the Crunchtime Hero of the week. These players will post on Instagram weekly in each share of their post equals a $3 donation to the Archer Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to helping families
Starting point is 01:57:14 who are dealing with DIPG-D-MG pediatric brain cancer. Find your rind at PorkRines.com. Be a Crunchtime Hero by visiting Eat PorkRinds on Instagram and sharing the weekly CrunchTime Hero post. Remember, each share equals a $3 donation to pediatric brain. cancer and a vote for crunch time hero of the year support our charity partner at archer dash foundation dot org kate i know i'm just sitting here looking at it right now what now
Starting point is 01:57:44 yes or no question did beve get forcibly removed from best by with our son yes what was it's fine beef what where's fuck town the best five bucks on I probably have to go we're trying to return to TV
Starting point is 01:58:07 we're trying to return to TV I just read his full explanation let me explain yesterday beautiful day NFL Sunday didn't have a TV to watch the games outside all the kids were playing outside I said you know what let me go to goodwill went to goodwill no TVs
Starting point is 01:58:22 I had no idea I knew this. Check Salvation Army online. Price of a TV at Salvation Army, roughly the cost of a TV from Best Buy, you know, the cheapest one. So I'm like, you know, I got the kids with me, I can't go to Best Buy, F it, let me door dash your TV. I'll be the hero
Starting point is 01:58:35 of my little call to sign. I had no idea he's doing that. Gets here, it's broken. Bam, doesn't turn on. Screens cracked. Okay. Bummer, whatever. Commanders lose. They tie. They tie. The kids are home from school, Indigenous People's Day. So I'm like, all, let me run over,
Starting point is 01:58:51 and return this TV. So I get on DoorDash first. And I say, what do I do? They say, go return the TV to Best Buy. Cool. I go over to Best Buy. Wait in line. Hey, TV showed up broken from DoorDash.
Starting point is 01:59:05 What's the situation? The woman at customer service radio is their manager says, hey, TV showed up, broken up DoorDash. Guy says, oh, that's a DoorDash issue. I said, really? They said, yeah, absolutely. I said, I understand, okay, let me talk to DoorDash first because I don't want to leave.
Starting point is 01:59:19 I already came all the way out here to Best Buy. I don't want to leave without figuring out what the situation is. I think you guys are going to take the return, but you're telling me you're not right now, so hold on. So I start chatting with DoorDash. I step aside of the line. My two-year-old is with me. He's hitting me. He's angry.
Starting point is 01:59:30 It's nap time. He wants a treat. He keeps punching me in the legs and the testicles. Anyway, I can handle it. I'm a dad. No big deal. But I'm chat with DoorDash. DoorDash says, hey, can you send me a photograph to prove that you attempted to make this return?
Starting point is 01:59:45 Like, sure. So I take three photographs. One of the TV in front of the return employee, one of me. here are the photographs. I'm sitting there chatting. I'm stepped out of line. Let's figure this out. What's the situation?
Starting point is 01:59:56 Security comes up to me. Blue Star Security, X-Cop. Sir, you need to leave immediately. What? I need to leave immediately. I mean, what are you talking about? You took a picture of our employees, sir. You need to leave immediately.
Starting point is 02:00:06 I said, I turned my phone around and said, look, man, I'm talking to DoorDash right now. Look, talking to DoorDash. They're asking me for photographs. That's the photograph I sent. I'm sorry, I didn't know. Sir, you need to leave. Where does it say that I can't take a picture of your employee?
Starting point is 02:00:17 It doesn't say it anywhere. Sir, you need to leave. I've done this rig and roll with cops before. There's no talking to this guy. I said the cop told me, I'm sorry, the security guard who's an ex-cop, told me that the manager wanted me out. Power trip, man. No one wanted to listen to me.
Starting point is 02:00:30 It's BS. Kick me out. I'm standing in front of the Best Buy with a broken TV and a crying two-year-old. And I got no solution. What do I do here? This guy's on a Power Trip. The manager of Best Buy Bucktown and the Blue Star Security Guard. You're going to have a power.
Starting point is 02:00:43 Are you going to solve it? Let's deal with it. Let's see what the Internet thinks. Now, the problem is once he hones in on something like this I'm trying to make a return in your store. This is going to be his whole life. This will become his whole life. To take down Best Buy.
Starting point is 02:00:56 This is like when somebody reclined in their airline seat and cracked his laptop and it like took him over for a year. This full like... You lost you for a year? It just consumed these little things. Not this is a little thing. Also, he was out in the driveway. He has a crappy garage TV that they, I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 02:01:14 You want to order a TV for the cul-de-sac? We have a jambi. Giant shared driveway with like 15 other families, and all the dad sit in their beach chairs, normally watching games on our shitty TV while the kids ride around, and I guess it put the shitty TV broke. I didn't know we door dashed the TV yesterday.
Starting point is 02:01:32 He said he went out to the grocery store with the kids yesterday. I guess he was at Pest Buy. I don't know. It's a mystery. Okay. The be. He's going to be on one. I had Twitter open when he was doing the ad,
Starting point is 02:01:45 and I just saw your face just, I knew up. Exactly what you were watching. Son of a. I'm firmly on his side. I'm on his side as well. I feel bad for him. That's frustrating. Best five better watch out.
Starting point is 02:01:57 I just told my skull fuck. Thanks, Big Cat. I got it. Phew. I better get involved. Okay. Good show everyone. Oh, I got a text from Dave.
Starting point is 02:02:09 Shout out. Let me get this right. Dina. She's watching the act right now with her husband. She's fighting cancer. Oh, yeah. Shout out Dina. Dina.
Starting point is 02:02:20 You got it, Dina. Keep fighting. Thank you so much for watching. Hope you enjoyed us fighting over cheese. And what, oh, and the ventriloquist, what a show. What a show. Dina, you think you have problems, our Best Buy TV. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:35 It's cracked. You come for the stamp discourse. You stay for the ventriloquist. That's what we always say with the act. But yes, shout out Dina. Thank you for watching and keep fighting. Yes. And we'll see everyone tomorrow.
Starting point is 02:02:46 No wheel, which is really sad. Yeah, Brandon Walker killed the wheel. Oh, it completely. I can't say spin it anymore. Oh, I thought we were just taking off wet and add, oh, wow. We could. I would like to, but Brandon do other stuff other than what. I agree.
Starting point is 02:03:01 Brandon's going to make a fucking hissy fit. Yeah, you're right. Damn. We can discuss it tomorrow. What's another body sensation other than wet that we can have on a sliver? Everyone sent, send ideas to Che and we'll discuss tomorrow and come up with a new wheel. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 02:03:17 Well, what happens if you hit wheel reset, TJ? And we got to find something new to put on? No, but what happens? Can you just hit? Is it just a real reset? No, just the same thing. Does the wet come back? Does the wet come back?
Starting point is 02:03:35 Might. Oh, I hope not. All right, we'll figure it out tomorrow. Send it to Che and he'll compile the best ones. Love you guys. Shout out cheese. See tomorrow. Thank you.

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