The Yak - A Mysterious Chicago Billionaire Is Feeding The City's Rats And No One Knows Why: Mon Oct 12, 2026
Episode Date: October 12, 2026You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyakYou can find every episode of ...this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music.
It's the yak. Welcome in. Cell Blue Coffee. Go right now. Amazon or Circle K or Target or 711 or
Stella Blue Coffee. Trying to save a thousand dogs this year. Go to Stellablu Coffee. Get your
great coffee today and save some dogs. Hello, everyone. What's up? How's everyone doing?
Pretty good.
the vibes. Good. Good. Really, really good. Really good. Tives wearing sports. Really good. It's beautiful
today. Beautiful day. Why are the vibes really good? What's up with the vibes? Why? Brandon had a lot of energy
this morning. I know. Brandon was doing a lot of, and he didn't give me a heads up and I was fine with it, but there was a lot
of like every college football game, but he was like, you motherfucker, like he was pointing at the camera,
like, you motherfucker said that this would happen and it didn't happen. And then you'd go on
to the next game and he just kept doing that. Yeah, I'm shot out of Canada.
Yeah.
What motherfuckers are saying what?
Oh, motherfuckers just be saying shit.
Or are you just found one guy who said something?
Dude, motherfuckers be saying shit.
You know motherfuckers be saying shit.
But does it just take one person to say shit?
Motherfuckers be saying shit.
Yeah, because I fall in that trap all the time where I'm like, everyone's saying this.
It's like, it was one fucking guy.
It was a tweet with no likes.
Yeah.
No, Brandon had it today.
Yeah.
It's good to see that you still got a fastball when you want to.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure who you're doing.
That's a lot of innings.
Yeah.
Did you watch all?
the ball? I watch all the ball. This is like
he was basically like Justin Verlander
throwing against the Savannah bananas coming soon
next year. Nice.
Good to see it out there.
Yeah. We're in back. Watch a lot of ball.
Watch a lot of balls. It's a good ball weekend. When you address these
motherfuckers who are saying shit, how much of it is on
Twitter versus other social media?
It can be all social media, but most
of it's on Twitter. Motherfuckers don't say too much shit on
Motherfuckers be saying shit. Nobody's saying shit on
Instagram, right? Oh, I get a lot of
Oh, yeah. They hate on. They hate every, they find any
They'll find everywhere to hate you.
Yeah.
They'll just...
I've been saying shit.
I've gotten some emails.
Yeah, I'll get hard...
I'll get hard...
I'll get hard mail.
Actually.
Hate...
No, actually, those are always nice.
Appreciate everyone who writes letters.
I'll get to them every now and then where it's like...
I would love a letter.
A letter that just said, fuck you.
We should write letters to each other.
I would.
Love a letter.
Well, you should have gotten one.
No?
Oh, I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
But...
Sometimes I'll have a letter and I'll just someone be like, I got one the other day.
It was just like, just want to say thanks for all the laughs.
I was like, fuck, man.
That was awesome.
Handwritten letter?
Yeah.
It like actually kind of made my day.
That's really nice.
That's so cool.
Like the world sucks and everyone's so negative.
You can go find negative shit about you all the time.
It's like one person just wrote them like, hey man, thanks for all the laughs.
Watch, watch everything.
Love what you guys are doing.
Damn.
That's, do you guys read Kyle spreads the mail out on the counter back there?
I always stop and read it.
And it is always.
So nice.
I know.
It's like lovely.
It's really nice.
That's really refreshing.
Yeah.
It's a good reminder that the majority of people who consume our content aren't online giving constant feedback.
Yeah.
I was online this week telling Kate she should leave the act.
And I was like, I wish somebody, I should just write this on a letter.
Yeah.
Mail it to me and then I'll see it.
I'm only accepting hate via postcard from now on.
Dude, if you got a hate postcard?
That actually means something.
With a beautiful image of a snowy mountain or something?
They'd take time.
They'd get a stamp.
They'd have delivered to the mailbox.
Hey, Danny, we're in Bora Bora.
You thought you'd know.
Even at my happiest thing.
I'd think about how much I fucking hate you.
I would take that seriously.
I just got done fucking my wife.
My brand new wife.
I had three my tides and I still...
Can't give my mind off.
Does anybody ever say fuck you for Borobor?
Fuck you.
Hey,
Big Catam in Hawaii on my honeymoon.
I just want to let you know.
you shoving Mincy down our throats, pissing me
to fuck off. I just went down
a speed slide on a remote
island. I just, it popped in my head
but Mincy's got to go. Yeah.
I just fucked my wife and then jumped
into the crystal clear ocean.
And God damn it, will you stop bringing him on the
hat? You ruined my
Monday to Friday from Banff.
Cheers.
Dude, hating Mincy from a lagoon.
Writing out that you hate Mincy
from a lagoon.
That's some good shit.
The postcard industry has to be fuck, bro.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's basically...
Collector's items now, right?
Yeah.
I was about to have something really stupid.
Yeah. Let's just go for it.
Yeah.
No, it was really dumb.
That was a really dumb one.
I see how hard I stopped?
It was a screeching halt.
I slammed on the break.
No breaks.
Records correct.
I slammed on the...
What?
I was going to say, do stamps still exist.
Oh.
Keep that shit to yourself.
Yeah.
Dumb fuck.
Literally, you could play it back, and the S came out, and I was like, stop.
You're about to say something really stupid.
Stamps still, but they're not dropping, like, good stamps anymore, right?
No, they do.
They mean something.
All right, question.
Yeah.
Who in here can tell me how much a stamp cost today?
I'm going to say.
Last time I kept track, it was 32.
That was probably two decades ago.
So you buy them by the book, right?
I'll say high 30s.
I remember when it went.
No, I remember when it went, I feel like it's 40.
49?
Isn't it?
No.
What is it?
Anybody know?
I was always buying stamps with my grandma.
Always.
Yeah, I used to buy the whole sleeve, the book, yeah.
Is a book or a roll bigger?
I don't know.
I think it's to send just a letter.
Just a standard letter.
Well, how many stamps go on a standard letter?
I'm saying 37 cents.
I remember, too, the big, like, it would be like on Good Morning America when they're like, we got a new stamp,
Muhammad Ali.
Yeah.
It was a big deal.
And it was like an honor to be on a stamp.
Yeah.
Right.
What a fucking waste?
Far ago.
What do we think it is?
Locked me in on 37.
I'm saying 37.
No, that's when I was
rubbing my grandpa's feet for stamps.
It was 37.
I'm going to say 62.
There's no way.
I think it's high 40s.
55.
I'll say 52 cents.
I don't really know how it goes up.
I don't understand it.
Everything goes up.
Yeah, but I don't understand stamps.
I don't either.
How much is it?
What if I told you?
You're all under.
Oh, it's, yeah.
I see?
I thought it's not over a dollar.
It's probably like 92 cents or something.
82.
Oh, my God.
Wait, can we?
see the year over year because I feel like
I remember it going to 50 a while
ago. That's first class. I can
put it at 32 in like 2004.
What's a regular stamp? He doesn't know what stamps
are. Yeah. Did you think you
think you've got to know what stamps were?
No, I think that's right. That's a regular stamp.
That's a regular. Standard size. Okay, give us,
do you have the, is there a chart of
over the years? I'd like to see it.
Stamps are the years?
They're all just American flags now, right? Are they doing
cool ones? No, they still do. Okay,
that's good. But they're extra, I think. But like,
Cat, if they were like, hey, we're putting you on a stamp, would you give a shit?
I'd say, no thanks.
I don't want to.
People use it to send you hate mail.
82 cents.
If they were like, hey, we're putting you on you on a stamp.
Can you come out to, uh, I don't even know where.
LHQ?
Yeah.
Where would it be like?
Washington.
No, not even Washington.
If they were like, hey, can you come to the Buckingham fountain?
We're going to put you on a stamp.
I'd be like, I don't think so, man.
Oh, you wouldn't go down the street.
No, I don't think so.
What if they're, like, want to come here, but it'll take 15 minutes.
I don't think so, man.
Not worth it.
At the big card collectors thing you guys went to,
was there a stamp section?
Do people still?
Because stamp collecting used to it.
I would imagine it's probably growing as a hobby
due to how much of a relic it is now.
All right, here we go.
All right, so where...
50 cents was 2017-ish.
Then it went down?
How do you do that?
You can't do that.
Well, 50 cents, yeah, he dipped in popularity.
All right, so...
Damn.
All right, I was wrong in that I thought,
I thought 50 cents was hit a long time ago.
I think I bought one book of Forever Stamps in 2005,
and I've just held on to those, and those are the...
That's good.
And any time I need to mail something, I've...
I still have those.
I had no idea that this is what stamps cost.
Also, can I just say dog shit graph?
Yeah, I didn't like it.
And what was the dog?
The years aren't the same.
No, no.
Oh.
They just haphazard.
Oh, yeah.
1981 to 1999 but also 2023 to 2025.
It goes 18 years and it goes eight years and it goes six years.
That's a terrible graph.
That's from the USPS too.
Dude, they don't know how to do a graph.
Bad graph.
Nothing makes me more mad than a bad graph.
Really?
No.
I am with you.
The maddest you gets a bad graph.
Yeah, because I'm not very smart.
So when you put it in a visualization, I should be able to understand it really quickly.
Oh, graphs are four people like you.
Correct.
And that one was a bad one.
These college football ones where it has the college football offense.
Yeah.
And I can't do all that.
That's too much on the graph.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was looking at one of like good cities to live in.
I saw that one.
I zoomed in.
I couldn't really decipher it.
It was like two graphs in one.
I didn't love it.
I think we're in it.
It was like basically.
Everywhere in America's bad value.
Yes.
It's kind of, it's almost like India propaganda.
Just like,
Oh yeah, I had like Vienna
is the number one place to live.
Yeah.
Is that the one?
Yeah.
Because I didn't fully understand that either.
There's a lot of these floating around.
Plus livable cities.
All right.
Also, what does premium and life mean?
Best value, bad value, budget living.
Look at New York.
New York and Los Angeles both suck according to this?
Well, you just.
It's way too expensive.
But like, I don't get that red line on the right.
It's your, your 86,000 runs out here.
Oh, so we're okay in Chicago.
Yeah.
We're bad value, right?
No, no, the other side.
That much a year?
Oh, that's budget living.
Other side is.
Where are the...
No, no, we're bad.
We're bad, but we're not the worst.
So the worst place would be New York.
Yes.
Like, what does...
Okay.
Too much going on.
What's the best place to live?
What's up in the top left?
Are they factory in, like, New York's also really fun, even if you're...
Yeah, North Novgorod.
Yeah, of course.
And plov-div.
I'm going to say.
say this graph doesn't make sense because I don't
I don't know anything about Islamabad but I'm
I don't want to go there I don't live there I don't live in Florianapolis
Florianapolis Liverpool
So Cal everybody shit on that
On Liverpool?
Yeah
Where's Antalya?
You want to be a top middle in this
Where's Bursa?
We're split
Splits Croatia, Portos
Those are good places
I would imagine
There's no Brisbane Melbourne
Yeah those
I mean, nowhere in the U.S. besides Seattle is a premium life.
Seattle's the only premium life in the United States.
That's what it seemed like.
Hmm.
Well, no, there's premium life.
Honolulu.
Oh, Honolulu's.
Expensive.
It's super expensive because it's all the way to the right.
Oh, Orlando.
Orlando.
Orlando is premium life.
Okay, who made this?
This must have been made before they got rid of the Chili's in the airport.
Has to be.
Okay, that was Graf Talk.
I want to give a shout out.
Yeah, please do.
This might be an old yak cut.
I don't even know if it was on YouTube.
Might have been serious.
Do you all remember my wrestler, friend?
Big trouble.
Yeah.
He was on the yack multiple times.
Probably five or six years ago.
Yeah.
He made his main national debut.
No kidding.
Wow.
Showed up in TNA.
He's as charismatic as he has gotten larger.
He's gotten larger to us.
Yeah.
So he looks like he is kind of finally breaking through to the mainstream.
Well deserved.
TNA, I mean, that's just, that's not wrestling.
No, no, no, it's a wrestling company.
I'm not talking about tits and ass.
Right, I know.
Like, you can't be like, we're TNA, the wrestling company.
It's like, no, no, that's tits and ass.
Yeah, it's a tough.
That's how it worked.
That's how it started.
Who owns TNA?
I don't know who owns it now.
Men.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was like a celebrity.
It's the number three company.
It's significantly behind WW and AWW, but it's a national.
It's a big time opportunity.
What's it to stand for?
Total nonstop action.
Yeah, that's tits and ass.
Yeah.
Which I think they told us it stands for total nonstop action while in the same time it also meant tits and ass.
It's pretty wild that there are three of them going.
Oh.
Like that's, yeah, good for them.
It's good for them.
Four or five.
Well.
What?
Are four and five going?
Four is.
What's four?
Who's four?
G.
Who's the guy?
Who's the guy?
The Smashing Pumpkins guy.
as a company right yeah yeah corgan
gcw uh they're they're
they're national they tour i don't know what is that
game changer for what was uh game changer
game changer wrestling yeah
but anyway uh big trouble bin bishop made his national
debut last night on paper view so good for him
billy corgan does nw i
what there's another one yeah sorry what
not the uh huh
what does that one stand for teach national wrestling
alliance billy corgan is in n w a
yeah to hear that out
You could probably say it.
Yeah.
Oh.
One time when I was still doing that show, he was offered to me as an interview, but I was
disqualified.
I was told you cannot ever, you can't mention smashing pumpkins.
You can't say anything.
You can't.
Don't bring it up.
He'll walk out.
And I was like, I can't trust myself to not mention.
But that's also, that's a PR person.
You just say, you just say yes to that?
and then you mention it.
And he probably doesn't give a fuck.
The dude himself doesn't give a fuck.
We had that once with DeAndre Jordan.
They're like, he's a vegetarian.
Don't bring it up.
And we're like, what?
And then we brought it up.
He's like, yeah, I can talk about it.
Yeah.
Why does PR people do that?
Why?
I don't know.
It's weird.
Every comment would be like, why the fuck didn't you bring up
smashing pumpkin?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Correct.
What show was that on?
Um.
morning sunshine
Okay
Nice
Can I bring up a local news story?
Yes
That's your guy's neck of the woods
The Lincoln Park?
Oh yeah the billionaire
I cannot get enough
This story
What's happening?
Literally nuts
Yep
So people in the neighborhood
In this Lincoln Park neighborhood
They're walking around
They're like man
There's so many holes
Under the trees
That's weird
I think these are rat holes
Why are there so many rat holes
Here
And then the early morning
joggers start noticing
that there's people walking around the neighborhood
with leather satchels
sprinkling something on the ground.
So finally, this one lady goes up to one of the sprinkers
and is like, what are you doing?
And the person goes, well, I'm definitely not sprinkling nuts for the rats.
And the lady was like, what?
And like the person kind of told on themselves,
this, like, billionaire in the neighborhood
has been paying dozens of people
to go out early in the morning with satchels of high-end European nuts.
Yeah, to feed rats.
And wrinkle them to feed their rats.
Yeah.
Why?
To whatever.
But why?
It directly affected me.
I got one in my garage.
Really?
It bored a hole into my home.
Really?
Yeah.
Apparently, there's so many rats there now that it's like the colony is so strong that it's like created a real.
Like there's like a rat fight.
They had to like blow up Oz Park last year.
Yeah.
Build it because of the colony.
What?
I don't understand it.
But why is he doing it?
I don't understand why this guy's doing this.
There was a few theories.
One was that he's trying to drive down housing values so he can buy up more stuff
cheaply. Yeah, he's trying to drive people out.
And then the other was that he's just trying to keep the rats away
from his house. So that he's
giving him, like, I don't know.
So he's hiring
people. He might just be crazy.
Or he's just crazy. It's the move of a crazy man.
Yeah, that's a move of a guy who thinks he can talk
to rats. But how do you get hired
for us? It's like a Craigslistad?
I guess so. That is. Easy job.
I'm just fascinated by this story.
Do you know who he is, like how he made his money?
Kate, you should try to get hired.
Should I?
Yes.
Let's get outside.
Undercover.
That would be awesome.
Go up there, spread my own nuts around Lincoln Park.
Is he like, yeah.
But does feeding rats increase the rat population?
Oh, yeah.
It helps it.
Yeah.
Apparently it's like exploded there.
And the alderman has done everything he can to find the guy.
Like he looked at every rule in the book and all he can do is find this guy.
But the guy's so rich, he's like, I don't care.
And so now the alderman's like, help.
What else do I do?
Because he's still doing it.
They're like still out there feeding the rat.
We need to get another billionaire who feeds the rats like poison nuts.
Yeah.
Or we need more cats.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We should get cats out there.
Bari.
See.
94 years old.
He's a crazy.
He's a crazy guy at the last of life.
Who's trying to just be like, I love rats.
Electrical products.
Hmm.
I don't know.
But anyway, I'm just kind of fascinated by this story.
Then if the cat problem.
gets out of control we get dogs.
Yeah.
That's right to kill the cats.
But I didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know if you guys had seen.
Like, had you noticed.
I haven't noticed.
I saw the story.
Procodiles.
I mean, there's rats all over the place.
Yeah.
The alleys.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I haven't noticed.
I got to keep an eye out.
It's localized to Lincoln Park.
He was doing it somewhere else first, and now he's doing it in Lincoln Park.
I think this was a problem somewhere else.
He's been doing it.
It's kind of his thing.
For a while, yeah.
I would love me.
thinks he can talk to rats.
I would love if he did it for no reason.
It was like, yeah, just kind of my thing.
I just really get off on it.
Maybe he's just trying to make, like, Ratatoui in real life.
I need to talk to Dante about this.
He was probably on this years ago.
Probably.
He's got here. Wait, play that video real quick.
A couple has been paying people to feed luxury nuts to the rats of Lincoln Park,
and nobody knows why.
Their neighbors kept finding piles of Brazil nuts and walnuts in and around parks
by the Green City Farmers Market in Lincoln Park.
That's already weird because those nuts are not cheap,
but then they started seeing workers with match.
shoulder bags regularly dumping the nuts.
WGN interviewed a neighbor who asked one of the workers what they were doing,
and the workers' actual response was,
we're not feeding the rats.
He hadn't even mentioned rats.
Alderman Timmy Knudson confirmed that the workers were being paid by a homeowner,
and those homeowners were later identified as the billionaire couple, Barry and Barbara's side.
So the city started issuing them multiple tickets, which they paid every time.
But here's the crazy part.
The feeding actually increased after each ticket.
Now it's actually getting out of hand.
One person saw 42 rats in 15 minutes,
in the park and now the alderman wants to sue the couple over all the damage the question we still don't
have an answer to is why are they doing this wgn actually went to the house to try to find out and the
woman who answered the door said this i really have no comment for you i'm sorry what the
my personal theory here is that for some reason this couple hates the green city farmers markets so
much that they came up with one of the dumbest plans of all time to get it shut down this story's nuts
let me know the comments imagine hating a farmer's market it's one of like the purest places on
earth. But if you hate a place
and you come up with a scheme
to feed
the rats nuts, so that place eventually
gets shut down, you might be
a genius? Yeah. But if you're a
billionaire, just buy
farmers. Well, yeah.
Buy the farmer's market, shut it down. Kelly Clarkson
is going to be sprinkling.
Whatever with her. Oh, Dan, it's
incredible. She wants her singing bird.
She wants a singing bird, and they treat her like
Julia Robertson Pretty Woman.
Who side are you on?
I think I'm on hers.
I think I am too, but it seems like other people aren't.
Really?
I'm shocked to say this.
I think Kelly's wrong.
All right.
Just drove all the way to Brooklyn and check out this store I thought looked really
rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn't afford
it and was told he could find something comparable for me.
Wow, dude, you're an idiot and just lost a huge sale, but you all should go check out.
Art of Play in Brooklyn, if you enjoy being treated like Julia Roberts' character and Pretty Woman, for sure, check it out.
All right.
One message in.
I think I'm on the store's side.
Like I didn't like that.
I don't like her,
you know,
deifying herself and all, you know, all that.
I don't like all that.
But then the store responded,
and she responded,
and the store responded,
I think I'm back on Kelly's side.
I read this.
Also, I thought this was a clothing store at first or something.
It's a toy store.
Yesterday, Kelly Clarkson visited us in Brooklyn
and inquired about buying Molly,
a one-of-a-kind singing and dancing bird automaton
who plays an important role in magic shows we host here.
Molly is permanently attached to the wall and isn't for sale.
However,
the negative experience Kelly described on
Twitter would resonate with anyone who has ever felt judged in a shop.
At Art of Play, whether someone comes in to make a purchase or simply look around for a while,
they're equally welcome.
We greet everyone who walks in the door with the invitation to pick things up and play.
And they do.
Many stay for hours enjoying our puzzles, games, and toys.
Imagine our surprise when our small, local business was suddenly attacked by 8 million people
who have never visited our store.
It's been a surreal experience to be the focus of such widespread outrage after just one mentioned by a celebrity.
Thanks to all our friends for their support.
And welcome to all the curious folks who have discovered.
us amidst the drama.
We're going to keep our heads down and hopefully we can clear things up with Kelly
someday as a talented popular singer once said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
That makes me on their side.
I'm still on their side.
Hell of response.
She tried to buy something that was not.
Nope, nope, nope.
Now we're getting into it.
Cool, cool, sure, it wasn't for sale.
That's a narrative art of play is going to go with.
Thumbs up.
So the whole conversation we have when I asked you if it was for sale while it's pointing to
the price tag hanging on the wall with the title singing bird didn't happen as you
elevator eyed me saying in a condescending tone, yes, it's for sale, but it costs $15,000.
So if you'd like me to find something comparable for you, I can.
That all never happened.
And now it's not for sale.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
So you're not the only rude.
You're not only rude.
You're also a liar.
Got it.
And by the way, I obviously support small businesses because I was literally at a small business trying to purchase things.
I love small businesses.
I know they're important, and I always support them.
But you don't get a free pass to treat people less than in your store just because you're a small business.
It's not that hard to be kind.
I never blast people, but you, my friend, were an exception.
Your store is really cool.
Unfortunately, I'm even more on the store.
You are.
I'm back on her side now.
Oh.
Wait, did you have a picture of the price tag?
Other people are showing.
Oh, a bird, $15,000.
I got to see the bird in action.
But then.
Oh, you haven't seen the bird?
Somebody also, it's very cool.
Somebody also found a post from September where the store was highlighting things in the store
that are cool, but that are not for sale.
And that was on there?
Yes, the bird was the first thing on the list.
Great question.
Can you get another one like it?
They told her, apparently in the store, the store says they told her,
here's the person who made it.
Why don't you see if he can make one for you?
Hmm.
It's very cool.
Nick, wait till you see this bitch.
That's really realistic.
You can see why she's more there.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
It's okay.
I think it's stupid.
Dude, yeah, you have to crank it every thing.
To crank it to make a bird noise?
15,000.
I think I'm on the side of this.
Do we have to have a side?
I don't have enough context.
It can't have a price tag.
I'm leaning store's side.
I'm leaning Kelly.
Me too.
The store lie or not.
Part of being a person is having a shitty retail experience where the, you know, the staff is a little rude and condescending to you.
Then you go, you eat it, you go home, and then you fantasize about doing this.
No, but you do go home and complain to people.
You go home and say, you're not going to believe how they treated me.
She just happens to be a celebrity who can communicate with millions of people.
Which, yeah, makes it more insane, in my opinion.
Okay.
She's like...
So we're 50-50 here.
Like, why not just, like, call your friend and share your story instead of, like, ruining these people's lives because you can't buy a bird on a wall?
Now I think I'm on the store's side the way you put that.
Yeah.
All right, hold on.
Team store.
Like, how aggrieved was she really?
You're like, you're not going to believe this.
These people didn't think I was rich.
And did they treat her like shit?
I'm like, okay, so how are you victimized?
You couldn't buy a bird on a wall because people didn't think you were as rich as you are?
that's still treating somebody a certain way
that she didn't bank on being treated, right?
Just because she's rich doesn't mean she can't be treated fairly
and...
Yeah, I don't have a problem with it all.
Was she upset that they didn't know that she was Kelly Clarkson?
That may be it.
I don't know. It just didn't feel like that.
Wild.
Well, either way, what real damage is going to be done to the store?
Now it's just millions of people are going to know about it
and people are going to go...
Yeah, this is great for the store.
A lock there.
What's our last...
update. A store response? A second store response?
I did see. I don't know if it's AI or not, but there's people outside the store last night with
science being like, we support Kelly Clarkson. And like there's people like protesting the store.
Okay, I don't know why a human being would care that much. I just, I just have a problem with it because
Kelly Clarkson has enough fans that she could like basically end this store. That's right.
Yeah. And that's kind of fucked up. But the counterbalance of that is she brought attention to
this store and millions of people that wouldn't
know about the store are now running to support
them, right? I don't know.
I feel like they'll probably get bad reviews
online. I don't think she would
appreciate the bird like somebody else would.
No.
She would never use it.
Hillary Clarkson would appreciate
the bird. No, I want to buy it.
She's never home. That's what I was making
on. It's never about the bird, Nick. We should buy the bird.
There was a $2,000
version of the bird and smash it in front of Kelly Clarkson.
Can I say, I think it's fine as
default response to assume that most people
can't afford a $15,000 bird on
their wall. But why have it on the wall then if that's
I don't know. I don't know. Because it's
like... Yeah, I just, I don't
see it as if that happened to me, I would
just, I would like to think I laugh it off
and not go to Twitter to...
I need the...
If I'm interested in the store.
Should I read this one? We explain that while Molly is
permanently attached to the wall and serves as a de facto
mascot for a shop, and nearly identical automation is owned
by the creator of the machines, a brilliant
artist named Bliss Cobb,
Never way.
They'll just be willing to part with Molly's twin for $15,000.
You've trained all this to Kelly.
Oh, so yeah, the store is not wrong.
They basically were like, it is $15,000, not this one, but the same one.
We can help you get it.
Oh.
But did Kelly say something different than she's saying that?
They lied.
Their language and their messaging and her language and her messaging makes her lose.
Yes.
I think they're handling.
She just seems part of her response.
Yeah, they're just kind of like.
Pot hurt, Kelly.
She's.
By the way, we do have a guest on right now.
We have Buddy Mac.
Valley.
Whoa.
What's up, man?
Oh, you're muted.
Or is he?
Oh, yeah, he's doing a good job.
Buddy Matt, how's going?
Good to see you.
We brought you up on Friday.
Do you have, can you do some ventriloquism for us?
I might be able to do that for you.
Yeah.
Let me see if my buddy's ready here.
Did you just start to pop off too?
What happened?
What's going on right now?
Well, okay, so I've been, I mean, my band and I have been performing for just over a year,
some of them on and off for the last five or six years, just in Bellingham.
Excuse me.
And then we've been going to Seattle and, you know, we did like Oregon once, I think.
And so it's, I mean, we've been really building a following in Bellingham, but, you know,
I posted Cowpoke and it went mega viral.
And, you know, that's kind of the story.
That song is almost 85 years old.
and it's what happened with Coulter Wall.
He posted that song and went mega viral.
I mean, he was putting in a lot of work before that too,
but that song has done a lot of good things
for country musicians over the 85 years that's been around.
So, yeah, I owe a lot to it.
Yeah, it's been awesome to watch.
I feel like he just blew up in the last couple of weeks.
So, yeah, we were, as great of a singer as you are in your band,
the ventriloquism part was what we were fascinated with
because you don't see ventriloquists anymore.
Yeah, no, it's definitely not as popular as it was.
I just did an interview with Cascadia Daily, which is a local publication here in Bellingham,
and they kind of, because I build and restore ventriloquist figures as well.
I have a workshop in this public maker space.
I have a 10 by 10.
And so I build puppets, and then I restore old antique puppets.
And so they came in and interviewed me and stuff.
And I basically, you know, to rehash it, I said it used to be the most popular form of entertainment in the
around, you know, the turn of the 20th century,
the queen was inviting ventriloquist regularly to come perform ventriloquism for her and her parties and things.
It was huge.
And now, you know, like, I watched your guys' coverage of me, and I thought it was awesome and hilarious.
And you made a good point.
You said that because of TV, there's not a whole lot of need for ventriloquists.
And it's kind of true.
It's like it's a different, it's an art form that really needs to be seen live.
And when you see it on TV, it's still amazing for me.
I love ventriloquism in all forms.
I'm kind of a nerd for it.
But when you see it live, it's like, it's like this thing that, I don't know, it's captivating.
Yeah.
And I love it.
And I'm all, I'm passionate about it.
And I have a lot of friends.
And, you know, all ventriloquists know each other.
So it's, we all talk and we have a convention every year in Kentucky, believe it or not.
Really?
No way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The ventriloquist convention in Kentucky happens every July, for the most part.
We just celebrated our 50th anniversary this last year.
and so that's a beautiful place. Al Gettler is an amazing ventriloquist and he's the executive director of that and he did a great job this last year. So yeah, we're all pretty close and we keep in contact with each other because I mean who else are we going to talk to about this? You know, it's really insane. Wait, so at the ventriloquist convention, do you guys speak to each other like humans or you speak through your puppets? I feel like you have to. For the most part, the puppets stay like we sometimes we'll be like, oh man, you know, this is going to sound.
how weird. It's like, oh, man, let me see your puppet, man. And then we're like, show each other
our puppets and stuff. And it's cool. But for the most part, these, these, the pros and everything,
you know, the puppet's a tool. It stays in the box until it's time to perform. And then we're
just talking, you know, a lot of people chat about what it's like on the road, what it's like
book and gigs and stuff. There's workshops. There's people just grabbing dinner together.
You know, it's like, it's such a niche art form that being able to talk with people or
decompress with people who also are living their lives or making their money, doing it.
it's such a special place
but there are also people who sell puppets there
it's like a regular convention you know you have like
dealers rooms and
and things like that so it's a
it's an amazing it's the vent haven ventrilo because there it is
wow oh how about that
and this year Jeff Dunham was there
and he did a performance for the
50th yeah it was really cool
damn what a
what sparked this interest in you
well um so
when I was a kid
I read goosebumps.
Oh, nice.
I was so big.
And then obviously, like I saw the TV show.
And I just was like, wow, you know, I think most people's reaction to that was to be freaked out.
But I was like intrigued.
I was like, man, that puppet is so cool.
Like, how does it work?
I want to figure that out.
And, you know, they're really expensive because there's no factory that's just making them.
You have to like talk to a maker like myself now who makes them by hand.
And so my dream was to own a professional ventriloquist figure.
and I just, it just wasn't, it wasn't in the cards.
My parents gifted me a, like a toy ventriloquist figure
when I was nine years old at my birthday party,
which is, I was at a bowling alley with all of my friends
and, you know, crying over a doll that I got for Christmas,
which was really, yeah, not one of my proudest moments.
But, yeah, so I had that toy for the longest time,
and then, you know, I kind of gave it up in middle school and high school.
I kind of was like, yeah, this isn't for me.
I want to kind of redefine.
myself and you know uh i went through kind of a hard time around that time and my mental health was
suffering and during covid especially i was like kind of lost and uh ended up you know uh just kind of
praying saying saying god i need i need some direction in my life and if you're real i need you to show
it to show yourself to me and um that's when i got a scholarship to go to the ventriloquist convention
for the first time this is about four years ago and it was at that convention where i met um amazing
people that shared the gospel with me and I gave my life to Jesus and decided that I should
probably do this puppet thing because I really enjoy it. The puppets themselves, like, the interest
still was mainly in, like, the building as much as, not as much as, like, the performing.
I really like performing. I just don't have the same sort of drive to write material in things.
Like a lot of my colleagues, they're just really, you know, really good. I just, I like building
them and I do like walk around ventriloquism at places like I'll walk around with with one of the
puppets and talk to people interact with people improv kind of thing and that's a lot more fun for me than
doing a full show like I only have a five minute routine but yeah I really just enjoy it and
I loved to you know god brought me back to or puppets brought me back to God and I really enjoy
just the community it's a really special community with a really great people that are really
supportive and I went on a tangent there you asked me a question
I love the passion that was great what's like a good
intro sentence if we wanted to try to say a sentence
with our mouths closed what's it the easiest thing to say
well they so yeah the let's start with what you can't say
well we know consonants
it wasn't me it wasn't me that said that
No, you can't say a Pelosive consonants.
Yeah, it'll get you into trouble here.
So the Pelosive consonants are the consonants where your lips touch.
So that's M, P, B, V, kind of, your teeth and your lip touch.
And so what you have to do is you have to substitute those sounds for something.
else. And so you'll probably notice the ventriloquists, when they make their puppets talk,
the puppets have like a little bit of a, like a speech impediment almost. It sounds like, you know,
it's because you have to kind of like fudge it in a way, you know, and like change the letters.
And so like basketball, if you want to say basketball without moving your lips, it's really hard.
You can't because you need your lips. And so instead of the B, you swap it for D. And so instead
of saying, you know, basketball, you say, basketball.
So you say you use the D, but then you roll your tongue on the top of the roof of your mouth.
So that way it sounds more like, instead of basket doll, it sounds like basketball.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know.
That was cool.
Thank you.
If you use the higher pitched voice, it also helps to kind of mask the fact that it does.
Like if I were to say it in my normal voice, basketball.
You can, you're like, oh, it sounds a little, there's something going on there.
but if you alter the voice or add an accent or something like that, it just helps the illusion.
So if you want to say, let's see, yeah, also my mother told me, that's a good one that I practice with or warm up with because it's like, well, actually I'll ask you, what do you think is the replacement constant for that?
So for M?
Well, that obviously, you're being.
N?
N?
No, N.
N.
That is 10.
That's really good.
Go for it.
Nine.
Nine.
Nine.
That's really good.
Do you have a puppet with you right now?
Yeah.
So this is Cosmo.
Cosmo is a replica of, I'll just give you the back story real quick.
He's a replica of a ventriloquist figure built by Georgian Glenn McElroy in the 1930s.
I'm very blessed to have received a replica.
of his head and I did all of the mechanical work
inside. He's very complicated. He's
kind of a pain in the butt to operate, but
I thought you guys would want to see him so I'll
okay. Yes. Cool. Yes, please.
If you forget, remember Danny had a ventriloquist
doll and did light ventriloquy.
Oh, yeah.
He does have.
Oh, Danny.
Wow. Oh, man.
What's up?
The eye round.
How's it going, guys?
Cosmo, could you give us an NBA preview?
I don't know what that means.
We're on Dan Katz show right now.
Oh, Dan Katz.
You know who that is?
No.
It's good.
This guy's good.
Cosmo.
Now, thank you so much.
It's an honor to be here.
And, yeah, we're having a good time.
Why are you doing that?
What's that?
What are you doing that?
Doing what?
What does your mouth do that when I talk?
Do what?
You go like this.
So, Cosmo is, I'll just show you what he does here.
He's pretty fascinating.
He's kind of, like I said, he's a pain in the butt to operate because there's a lot going on.
Most ventriloquist figures are just a trigger with a mouth that moves.
Cosmo has about, I think, 11 movements in his head.
And so these were originally done in the 1930s.
So they would have used all steel and stuff.
I used brass inside the mechanics.
It's all direct linkage.
So let's see
So he can talk obviously
Like that
He can open his mouth
He can smile
He can smile
Oh
He can wiggle his ears
Like that
What?
Yeah
And then if he wants to smell something
He can smell
And then he can stick his tongue out
Like that
He can also go cross
I like that
Oh wow
And if he gets scared
Oh my gosh
But these are all different
mechanisms you have to control?
Yes, it's like a saxophone.
And oh, he's getting a little...
Where's your hand right now?
I can't answer that.
What do you find are the most important parts of like being good at this?
Is it the being able to talk without moving your mouth,
the actual puppeteering?
Because like I imagine there are people that are really, really good at throwing their
voice or making the sounds without moving their mouth.
But they can't do all...
I've yet to meet them.
Yeah, hasn't been that one yet.
They can't do all this.
They can't do.
you know, they try to make their puppet smile
and instead he, his hair sticks up and stuff.
Right. Or is it like writing material
and just putting together a good act that's funny and flows together?
Well, good question. So,
the best ventriloquist
are my favorite ventriloquist, but I think a lot of people in my community
would agree that the best ventriloquist
in, um, in history was Edgar Bergen.
Edgar Bergen was, um,
really popular in the 50s, um, through the, like,
70s and then I think he died in like the 80s or something. I don't know, but he had a character
Charlie McCarthy and he was on the radio. Rudy Valley put him on the radio early on in his career.
So he did like 20 years of ventriloquism on the radio.
How does that work on that? Well, it doesn't, you see. And so when you're on the radio as a
ventriloquist, you kind of lose your technique over time. And so his lips moved all the time when he
performed later on in life, but people didn't care because Charlie was such an alive character.
He was so believable. He was just like, when he spoke, people were like captivated by him.
He was just such a, such a believable, like Edgar Berger was such a good actor. It didn't matter
how much his lips were moving. I mean, sometimes they were like, he wasn't even trying. He was just
like talking with the voice. And it didn't matter because Charlie was such a believable character.
And so he's my favorite because when you watch him, it's like, you know, his humor is very,
of that era.
It's very, you know, elegant and nuanced.
And it's just like, it's like, it's classy, you know?
And so what's more important than not moving your lips, I mean, that's a good portion of it.
You know, that's like you should definitely at least try as a ventriloquist to keep the illusion going without moving your lips.
But what's more important than that is being a good actor and being, um, having a good character,
having a character that's believable, that's enjoyable to talk to.
but yeah like what made it easy for Edgar too
I mean he was amazing nothing really made it easy for him
but what's easier to do is
Charlie just had a moving mouth
he didn't have moving eyes no eyebrows or whatever
it was just a wooden head with a moving mouth carved into it
and it's a lot easier to make something come to life
when it's simpler you know like Cosmo is
a mechanical marvel
I mean he's just got a lot going on
and it's hard to make something like that come to life
you know, for the most part, he's
he's just like an automaton in a way.
Cosmo.
Cosmo, do you like how Buddy Mac is talking about you right now?
He's treating you like shit.
Yeah, I know. I don't care.
It's whatever, you know.
I just want to go back in that box.
Oh, you like the box.
Osmo, are you?
Do you need to be saved?
Is Buddy Mac kidnapped you?
I can't say anything, you know.
I'm off the record now.
That's right.
Oh, man.
If you need help.
Well, that's awesome.
Oh, I had one last question, buddy.
You said you have a workshop with all these puppets that you're working on.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
They're talking at night, right?
Oh, of course.
Yeah, like, you, that's a haunted workshop.
Like, those guys are conspiring against you.
Yes, they are.
Okay.
I just want to be clear.
Like, I wanted you to, like, I was like, hey, I need to check.
Yeah, shut up, man.
I need to check see if Buddy Mac realizes what's going on.
You do know what's going on.
You do know what's going.
You've signed off on the dolls being your downfall.
Yeah. That's why I left this one here, buddy.
Oh, look.
I guess we have a line around.
Yeah.
What do you? Wait, I don't see it.
Oh, hey, that's Mortimer Snurred.
Mortimer Snurr!
They're calling him Copernicus this whole time.
It's Mortimer Snurred.
You are so lame.
Wait, wait, how did you know Mortimer Snurred?
Is that a famous doll?
So, Edgar Bergen that I mentioned earlier,
had a few characters.
Mortimer Snurt is one of his characters as well.
Oh, my God.
It is.
Mortimer Snurred.
Yeah.
Dan.
You got Mortimer Snard there the whole time, Danny?
Yeah, I left in here.
The whole time you had a celebrity.
I believe it's taxed.
Well, buddy, this has been awesome.
If you ever find yourself in Chicago, we'd love to have you at the office.
Oh, that would be awesome.
Yeah, this is really cool.
Congrats on all your success.
Yes.
And we're fans.
Well deserved.
Yeah.
I appreciate that so much.
Thank you for having me.
and for asking me questions.
I love yapping about it.
So, you know, anytime.
All right.
Thank you, buddy.
See you, Cosmo.
Bye, Cosmo.
See you later.
Get me out of here.
See you, man.
God bless.
Wow.
What a like with a follow out.
Yeah, that guy is rock.
Brandon could not be less interested.
He left, yeah.
He exhausted it all mostly.
Yeah.
Mortimer snur?
Oh, shit.
Mortimer snur.
There's something about it.
I think buddy Mac would agree
there's something about
nerds who are just all in
I just fucking passion
I love
and an ability
which I don't have right now
the ability to articulate your passion
yeah she was awesome
and also like having a
be like I like asking him
you know they're talking to each other
like being able to joke about it too
I was I was a little bit of a hater
I was a big time
shed light on how
how many different skills you need
yeah trilliquism
I can't walk and chew gum
improv
charisma
Pretty much playing an instrument inside of it.
Yeah.
And he made that.
Acting.
And he made that.
He's brilliant.
The technical skills to create those things behind that.
Like, look at the bird was $15,000.
I wonder how much a high-end, like, multi-part, 12 moving pieces.
Ventriloquy, I don't even want to say dummy at this point.
I wonder how much those go for.
We should have tried to buy it off of them.
Yeah.
If he wouldn't let us, we should have ruined his life.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get yak fans of protest outside.
his house. No, he's awesome.
What a guy. Yeah, that's really cool.
Really likable guy.
I do feel bad for him, though. I wish he was
100 years, he was born 100 years
earlier, you know? He'd be performing for the
queen. He'd be the most important in the
country. We would know Buddy Mac.
It'd be like Charlie Chaplin and Buddy Mac.
He is a century off of being a
household name. That's right. Which is a damn shit.
I was just really good at
going to the dentist.
Oh my God. Full conversations during a
cleaning.
Mortimer Snur.
I meant to ask him about his hat.
He wears that great big hat.
Oh, yeah, the 10-gallon hat.
It's a good hat.
I hope his band brings him to Chicago sometime.
That would be awesome.
That would be amazing.
Petriloquism is like his second
best thing he does.
The yodeling was.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got about that.
Always.
I didn't ask him about Yoteling.
Oh, thanks.
You weren't a fan of Buddy Mac,
Brandon?
No, I just had to pee and get it.
I put that back behind the night.
I don't know how to fucking
Mortimer Snard.
Mortimer Snurred.
Were you here for Mortimer Snurred?
You missed Mortimer.
Where were you?
It was great.
Yeah.
Had to be there.
Oh, man.
That was cool.
Do you want to...
Do you want a Chicago guy?
I don't know how we does...
I can only scream while doing it.
That's it.
It's pretty good.
I'd be impressed with it didn't just talk to that guy.
Who's the guy?
that he kept mentioning, TJ, wasn't it?
Edgar Bergen.
I would love to watch some of his old.
I would love to watch ventriloical.
Why, I can't talk today.
Old school.
Were the guys moving his mouth?
He was describing it as, like, in his later years,
he would just move his mouth as he was doing.
I love to watch, like, a clip of a guy.
Did he try?
He was just, like, kind of giving up on the whole
keep your mouth still thing.
Yeah, fuck it.
Fuck it.
You're here to see the puppet.
I know it, you know it.
Yeah, just watch him.
Let's just get to the puppet.
Do they all have to look horrifying and possessed?
Can it just be like...
Yeah, no, Coswell is scary.
Yeah, is there like a sexy one?
Is there like a bad couch?
I know.
Who's the famous guy?
Dunham? Is that right?
He's got some normal-looking ones, right?
I don't know.
He's got...
The dead terrorist.
He's got the terrorists.
The jalapeno.
Walter.
But Walter's a pissed-off grumpy guy, right?
Yeah.
He was a fucking super-duper star.
for a little bit.
He really was.
Imagine getting bumped off the radio's time slot for a ventriloquist.
The radio is kind of confusing.
Right?
They have a sign language show after that.
Like, I don't, that doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
You got to think the first time, the first couple of times he did it, he was doing the full, he was doing it right.
Yeah, how soon was he like, fuck this.
And then somebody else was like, what are you doing, dude?
Just talk.
Oh, man.
that guy rock can we see that guy edgar in action yeah let me do a rowback read while you search for him
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Yep.
Yep.
Are you having a good time?
Well, whatever you say, you know, it's up to you.
You got your hands.
hand up my back.
Yeah, you can see his...
Well, I would say that you're having
a pretty good time.
It's very good, Bergen.
Thank you.
Well, I'm certainly welcome, I guess.
What do you think
of the Smothers Brothers?
Do you think they're funny?
Well, I...
I think one of them is pretty funny.
Yeah, one of them.
Which one is that?
The funny one.
The funny.
You mean Tommy?
I imagine so.
You know, the dummy.
No.
Now, that's not a very nice thing to say.
Well, then why did you make me say it?
Oh, that's not going to that.
Charlie Tommy is not a dummy.
He's a human being.
Yeah, but Dick does the talking floor.
No, no, no.
He does everything himself.
You?
He's a legend.
You never want to see your legends go out with that.
Damn.
That was Hakeem.
A lot of one on the rap.
Brutal.
That's brutal.
See him like that.
Better in the radio era.
Those puppets are conspiring, man.
Do they have to make them so haunting?
I don't, I think so.
Yeah.
Is it like the makeup blush on them, the red, is that something with the mouth that it makes you focus?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
Draws your eyes to them a little bit to get away from the other guy's mouth?
Probably it could be it.
It has to be something, a visual cue, right?
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I want to try.
Are they more or less?
Give it a try.
High end one cost more.
A little bird.
That'd be cool as fuck if he became a pop.
Mr. Secrets.
All he is, he just does, pst.
He whispers.
That's an easy one to say with your mouth closed, too.
That's what.
Yeah.
Here comes Kyle and Mr. Secrets.
Oh, Mr. Secrets.
Kyle, you can come, but please don't bring Mr. Secrets.
How was medieval times, by the way?
You guys.
You looked incredible.
I got to say,
Quigs rocked. Quigs looked so
perfect. He was King Richard? He wants
to return the costume. I said he can't.
No. He was so good. He looked so
good. He was the star
of the show. Oh, he was so funny.
He showed up as King Richard.
Yeah, that helped.
Verbly. So funny.
Oh, he was, yeah.
Did he tie one on because he didn't reply
to my text on Sunday morning? Yes.
So you are what?
There's a football player. Yes.
Football player. That was Donnie's extras.
Pilot?
I laughed. Quig said
draft king's working for anyone else.
That's Chef Donnie.
Nick.
Feeling great.
I mean, you look like you just wear that.
Thank you.
Every Saturday.
Thank you.
That's a comment.
Look at that.
Oh, man.
He looks incredible.
It was
everybody was so hammered.
How do the people at medieval times react when you all come?
Hank is George Washington?
He was George Washington.
He genuinely, he, I don't think you knew what medieval meant.
I genuinely thought that was fine.
Rudy just looks cool.
Yeah, Rudy looks awesome.
Is that your first time there?
No, no.
Max looked perfect.
Those ug boots?
It was, uh, yeah, we all just were pretty hammered.
We were in the blue night section.
Okay.
Uh, we got scolded for booing the other nights.
Okay.
Everybody else was in costume
Like everybody there
Everybody yeah
I was gonna ask you that
Yeah everyone had the same idea
Nobody just shows up wearing
A hoodie
Yeah interesting
Huh
That's pretty cool I guess
Did you eat like turkey legs
Got a half chicken
No silverware
It's uh tomato soup
Okay
I got mead for everybody
Oh meat for everybody
Well meat for the my row
Is there anything within the walls
Of that place
That takes you out
Like when you go to the bathroom
Do you, like, slip into, like, a modern bathroom?
Everybody's wearing, like, pop star microphones.
Okay.
That takes you out pretty much immediately.
Yeah.
Was Alabama Georgia on?
It was on on the TV.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I'm picturing is, like, a mix of...
Yeah.
Did Donnie get knighted?
He did afterwards, yes.
He got knighted.
He was, like, really happy.
After what?
Good.
Yeah.
Well, you went back?
No, we, like, stayed after, and the king was like...
I'll catch up with you guys.
And then the king knighted him.
The king yelled at Donnie because he tried to go to one knee as he was knighting.
And the king yelled at him, school, to him, said, sit back down.
It was a...
Why?
Is that a no-no?
I don't know.
I don't know.
All in all, yeah, I don't know.
Do you guys go out to the bars after in your costumes?
I think that's all I was.
I went right home.
Max is very allergic to horses.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
He was sneezing the whole time, sneezing and coughing.
That's a crazy hour.
Wow, yeah.
So, like, we're front row, Queen's box, and we're just hearing Max, and then just sneezing.
Just doing his horse impression.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I wish there was something largely embarrassing that happened, but there really wasn't.
Really?
Like, you didn't spend that much money or anything?
Oh, yeah, this is, yeah, this will take you out on a party bus.
Yeah.
Ooh, whoop.
What, a peasant can't have fun?
And then Donnie taught me his cork technique where he lit a cork on fire and
sprayed the, rub the ashes on my face.
What a birthday.
Good for Donnie.
We talked about it a bit on anus, but Kyle ruined the vibe.
Oh, in what way?
Yeah, we just talked about it.
But I got a gifting faux paugh for Donnie's birthday.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
You get him too much stuff?
Yeah.
Damn.
Either you didn't bring something at all
or you brought him a bottle of wine.
Oh.
Yeah.
And Kyle overgifted.
What did you bring him?
You got him a CB radio, right?
Yeah, I did.
Kyle overgifted that.
I did.
Did you give him a whole oven?
A Canon XR7 or whatever it's called, R7X?
Is it a camera?
Yeah.
Oh.
It's the camera.
It shows somebody you care about them.
You can't even find it.
DJ, go ahead and pull it up.
Oh, my God.
Is it Brandon's camera?
No.
How much was your camera?
Four.
100?
No.
Thousand.
Yeah.
Really?
Damn.
Good God.
For birds?
All for the iPhone?
Birds.
Yeah.
iPhone camera's the same thing.
Yeah, but I have one of the...
Whatever.
It's ain't about me.
He's the Kyle over here.
Chef, like, the guests were coming in and chef was just tinkering with the camera, formatting the
the SD car.
He's just.
Stoped hosting as soon as Kyle gave him the gift.
Chef didn't want to go to medieval time.
It was too good of the gift.
It was too good.
It ruined everything.
And then it made you nervous.
You were just pacing around.
Yeah.
It was so embarrassed.
He takes pictures like that, chef?
I didn't know that.
I didn't know he's a photography guy.
You said he does, you sold it beautifully.
You do some of the most amazing things and I love watching it.
So I got you this.
There's a story.
I didn't pay for this gift.
I had it and I had to get it in a weird way.
I saw it.
somebody breastfeeding to get it.
Happens to the best of us.
It was a breastfeater in my...
A lactator in my apartment that I had to walk in on
and try to find the camera
that I had been stowing for a year now.
I was going, I'll just give this to Donnie at the last second.
Give him a $1,500.
I got it for free.
I didn't realize how nice of a gift it was.
What was the lactator part?
We just told us.
That's why we had Kate on.
We got to stop spoiling everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right. You're right.
You're right.
Tune in for the lactator.
I mean, yeah, you get it.
No.
No, I don't.
I actually will be doing it.
This is going to drive up numbers.
I will be tuning in.
I do not get it at all.
There's not much more to it.
There was a lactator in my apartment that I walked in on to retrieve a camera.
But it's sure.
I don't want to spoil too much, but surely it was somebody you knew.
She was a sweetheart.
I didn't know her.
I met her then.
Kind of.
She was lactating.
I said hi.
Danny, did you go to Texas with that crew?
I sure did.
Yeah, it was a fun weekend.
Stay fair with something else.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Fried P.
And J.
I don't know why it was so good, but it was.
Oh, yeah.
That's a fine.
Danny, that makes a hell of a lot of stuff.
Peanut butter and it was good.
Yeah, it's fried bread.
Yeah, Danny.
You can fry anything and make it good.
But you're, I feel like there's almost an age limit.
Like, we were all dead after eating two fried items.
And there's no way you're getting beers down after that.
But yeah, it was a great time.
Game was awesome.
How long did you stay?
Well, listen.
All T. Bob told me is he was the only one that stayed the whole time.
He was.
I think Dana, too, to his credit.
I didn't care if we stayed or left.
I was kind of freaking out.
I was there doing social.
Couldn't get a single text, couldn't get anything up.
So I was like, fuck, am I going to pull Mincy and just post everything after?
But then some of them wanted to leave anyway, so I was like, all right.
But yeah.
Yeah, the stadium is bad.
It was real bad.
Well, but it's once a year.
The concessions were out of this world.
We should have done a couple episodes of doing lines there.
Long lines.
Insanely long.
I'll never complain about Soldier again, I don't think.
Yeah.
What stadiums this?
Cotton ball.
Pop and ball.
They literally only have one football game a year.
They don't even have the Cotton Bowl there anymore.
Yeah, it's true.
Cotton Bull is in Jerry's world.
No.
It's in Jerry's world.
Were you a big state, fair guy, Brandon, in Mississippi?
Is it a bigger thing down south or kind of just there?
No, I think it's big in the Midwest.
It's big in rural.
Like, I've been to the Minnesota and the Wisconsin.
Minnesota is a massive.
Iowa's big one, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas.
Yeah, no, we didn't really have it like that.
The Minnesota one was crazy.
crazy you went to it yeah we did alaska stay fair how and i and donnie yeah why are they still
doing the tickets like that just cut out the middle man why can you just it's such a pain in the ass
but it serves no purpose i feel like that was the event when i first started at barstool in like
2018 or 2019 that was like one of my first big work trips and i went to this bar in dallas
that had you it was like you who but frozen and had liquor in it oh and i was
like this is the best thing I've ever had so I had like 15 of them and the next morning I was in the
back of this one of those big white vans and they put the t-shirt box on my lap and I was like oh god
oh god oh god I threw up into t-shirt box I tried to hold like hold a couple like a bowl and then
I was like I'm going to get fired and then they put me to sleep in the back of the barstool bus
and they were giving like tours like letting people on and they're like and there's kate like sleeping
on the, and I was like, I think I'm going to lose my, I think I'm going to lose my job.
15 tequila yuhus will do. Spikedyuhus.
Yeah, I know. And it was the Texas State Fair or whatever, and I could, the only thing I could
get down was like two sips of soda. I didn't have a single thing to eat. I didn't, like,
I didn't do anything. And I love that shit. How wasted were you? Like, it was Pat from the
New York office whenever we hang out. Is he ever got anybody else? Yeah. Bad influence. Yeah. Bad influence.
And, um. Yeah, he used to spike my drinks all the time.
Yeah.
So, but it was one of the worst hangovers I've ever had my whole life.
And I threw up in the t-shirt box.
So if you were there and you didn't get a t-shirt, that's why.
No, we still gave them out.
Yeah, people still.
But that would have been better than throwing up on my coworkers, I guess.
Or incurring a large van fee.
No.
No.
It's probably the worst thing.
On the coworker.
Like, I don't know who would have been around 2018.
That's the funniest person to throw up on.
but that was brutal
Dave
that's a great question
yeah it's the fun
who in 2018 would have been
the funniest person
to throw up
yeah
how's uh Connor Griffin
he's
he's marching on man
I was going to check in on him
but I didn't
uh want to
let me tell you what he's not
here's the thing
he loses every game
yeah he's two and 16
in the last month
but he still
he still doesn't take a whole lot of damage
in the sense that he came in this morning
and he saw Dave talked about him
and he didn't think
Dave was mocking him.
Yeah, you did say that.
Dave's not mocking me.
Yeah.
It's not fun for me.
I'll say that, Nick.
Like, it's like not been...
I enjoyed last year.
This year's just not fun.
It's just not...
Right.
Because, like, these lows, it's like...
He's losing too much.
He's losing way too much.
He doesn't even have a fall.
There's no fall.
You're already at rock bottom.
You can't go any further.
And are you feeling sympathy for him?
I'm feeling sympathy for me.
Yeah.
I feel bad for me.
That's what I'm saying.
I can't even enjoy that.
I'm watching every team.
much on all of his teams to lose it. I can't enjoy it at all. I need them to start winning so I can
enjoy him losing. Well, the wins are what make the loss is funnier. That's right. You've got to have
some wins along the way. I think he's one McDonald's costume away from his luck change.
Turning it around. Yeah. Just needs one more costume to go to McDonald's in.
Who'd they lose to?
Oh, haven't they lost? Penn State is. Penn State lost to USC and then the Eagles, of course,
lost to the Jags.
Flyers are 0 and 7.
You know the video of him with the sunglasses on?
He's got the white suit on.
He's like,
Penn State.
I believe at the time,
Penn State was undefeated in rank second in the country.
And since he made that video,
they're seven and nine.
But to say, you know what time it is.
They have lost seemingly every single game.
It's so funny.
And up to that point,
they were, yeah.
Right, Brandon?
Weren't they like second?
They were, yeah.
Yeah, that was before the Oregon game,
which they lost last year and started their downfall.
They lost an overtime.
Yeah, and I missed that.
That's what I mean.
Like, when that happened, I've never felt more alive.
That when he made that video and they lost,
I was like, this is the greatest day of my life.
And now I'm watching the Eagles, you know,
losing the last seconds on a bomb of a field goal.
And I'm just like, yeah, this is, yeah,
it's throwing on the pile, you know?
So I need them to start winning.
so I can laugh at it.
The Phillies blew everyone.
The Phillies got eliminated.
Yeah.
He needs a winner.
Like if the Sixers has already started him, like three and oh, that would help.
Sixers actually would help.
Yeah.
Because he's very excited about the Sixers season.
And LeBron James is not a young man.
No.
No.
I don't know if Connor has realized that.
Yeah, LeBron is not a young man.
No, this isn't 2006.
He's very, very old.
You know what time it is
Oh my God
There's seven and nine
Mortal combat character
They were number two in the country
They've got seven and nine since then
That gives me a full body reaction every time
Was that the entirety of the video he posted?
No, he goes on to a little bit more
But four and nine versus power 40s
Wow.
Shout out Sto Analytics.
Yeah, that guy's good.
I wouldn't mind.
Stool Analytics daily board meetings with himself,
when he comes up with what he's going to post.
I believe he had a post today of every Barstall employee's estimated handicap in golf.
Whoa.
How does he come up with what he's going to do today?
Has he triggered you yet, Brandon?
No, he's generally been good to me.
You're fine with it?
Yeah.
And even when this-
You're fine with this coverage of 20,
handicap? I think he's exactly, I think he's exactly right.
I doubt Dan's a worst golfer in the company, but.
No, but I think these are the guys that golf. That is my handicap.
Yeah. That's about right for me too, probably.
24. Your speed golf.
I shot him in 23-9. Your speed golf was awesome. I think I watched it twice.
I played a great... That was incredible. That was impressive.
I'm trying to get better. It's hard. It's hard sport.
What speed golf? You got to watch this clip.
Oh.
We did a video with Foreplay.
and I just sprint.
It fucked me up for like two days.
Do you have to sprint just one hole?
Yeah, you have to hit the ball and sprint.
It's just it doesn't matter.
Shots are irrelevant.
It's just how long it takes you go from T-box.
It's a ball and hole.
How many more holes did you do that on?
There's three of them.
So it's like it was head-to-head for.
I only do one.
We all do one.
I'm interested in this.
Yeah, that's the sport.
It sucks.
Do they have competitions?
I don't know.
There probably are.
There's some sort of subsect somewhere that does it.
I luckily played like a perfect hole in like the, you have to hit it straight down the middle.
Otherwise you screw yourself because then you're running all over the place.
Yeah.
So yeah, I think TJ might be, I don't know where it was played.
I think for play.
Yes.
Great start.
Let's go, Dan.
Come on now.
Where to go?
Miserable.
It sucks.
My body was like, yeah.
You're strong.
You're strong.
You're strong.
Oh, yeah.
Good form.
Yeah.
Yeah, you look strong.
Pretty hole.
I just kept on telling myself, lift your knees up, lift your knees up.
Dig, dig, dig.
You look great.
How beautiful.
It was like you drove it down the middle.
I did.
It was like, again, I played the perfect hole.
What a beautiful hole.
What a curse of this is you at your best golfing.
You just got to do this every time?
Yeah, right?
So you're 35 seconds coming up?
You're slowing down.
Oh, yeah.
Stupid gimmick.
All right
What's that long way to run?
180
It was like
Yeah 400 yards
You're doing great
You need a club
He's got his driver
Right down the middle
Damn
Clearing out some leaves
I don't know why I did that
Is a par five
Par four
Go straight
Yeah
So good
Get out of that
Great
That was a really good
Yeah
What a damn second
Because you just don't want to be
In sand
You don't want to like
Go all the way to the right
Dude
I think you punt
Don't be afraid to put it
Can't remember
I'm running away with you too
Yeah I think that was shame
He's doing great
Yeah
Very supportive from the boys
Very supportive
Getting a little bit of a wheeze at the end of the bed
Oh my God
I would be puning
Yeah I couldn't do this
No
My body was
I just don't sprint anymore
Bup and Run
I don't know when I would
When I would sprint
Yeah really good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah.
On the green.
We're putting for par.
It's so bad.
Oh, man.
It's embarrassing.
I think PFT did the par three, which that's, you got to get one of those.
Keep it going.
You're on a great pace.
Trent was very nice.
Yep.
Get in.
Take your time.
Take your time.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's great.
good.
I don't think I could have played that better.
Yeah, and then the rest of the day was shot.
Yeah.
That was just like, I had the, yeah,
I had the, you know when you get like the smokers cough with deep lungs?
Yeah.
Not fun.
Did that burn in there?
Why did that come up to golf or golf handicaps?
We were talking about stool analytics,
and I was wondering how he comes up with his inspiration for every day,
because it'll be, you know, golf handicaps.
caps tomorrow to be a percentage of gray beard hair.
You know, it'll be whatever.
We were originally talking about Connor Griffin,
um,
his fall off since he made that.
Dude,
he's a loser.
He's a loser.
I actually,
I had to go up to Cody today.
That was really,
that was what originally started.
Yeah,
I had to go up to Cody.
I was like,
don't hang out with Connor anymore because like,
Cody,
you're a cool guy.
Yeah.
And Connor's a loser.
Yeah.
At everything.
Every.
He said everything.
Anything you could think of he loses that.
It's unbelievable.
And he's just like,
and Dave just knows him as a loser.
Yeah.
That video back-to-back days.
Almost to the point where I don't think he can...
Yeah, another day, another dollar ground dog day.
I don't think it's smart for him to win again.
If we show these to Connor mixed up,
could he tell you what loss they were for?
If we took the hat off?
Knowing him.
Yeah, yeah.
Knowing him, he definitely could.
Dave was very mean to you.
I'm like a parcel.
To me?
Yeah.
No, I wasn't.
I wasn't about the beginning of the video?
No, talking about how every team just jumps over you.
Oh, yeah, well, you know,
in every mean thing, there's a little bit of truth.
Yeah.
It is true.
UCLA, it's kind of bullshit.
We're halfway through the season.
We'll see what happens with UCLA.
I mean, they don't have an easy one Saturday.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be something?
What if the badgers were the team?
Wouldn't that be something?
Wouldn't that be something?
What did Mr. Seby's LSU?
Wouldn't that be something?
I don't know if I like cocky Blutman.
Oh, is he cocky?
A little bit.
He's dressing like an assistant coach now.
Yeah, but he's a little like, he's like, we're going to be, we're going to be in the playoffs.
He's been adding a little UCLA to his outfit every day.
Yeah.
Now they're six.
What is this?
He's cocky.
He's cocky.
He goes to the state fair one fucking time.
No doubt he's doing an accent.
That's perfect.
No, Blubman's a little cocky.
It's, I don't, I'm happy for him.
Obviously, Wisconsin plays UCLA this weekend, so I'm not going to be happy for him this weekend.
But he's a little cocky.
I got to just get used to it.
This is awesome, though.
I mean, what a weekend.
I'm happy for him.
Fuck you not be.
Very jealous.
UCLA could become the next Alabama and I could never turn on Blutman.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah, it's not turn on.
It's just I got to get used to him because he doesn't, he is a ball watcher in that he doesn't,
I don't even think he has an NFL team, he doesn't have an NBA team, he has the Knights,
and UCLA.
So.
And the Aces.
I see him as like almost removed from it, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Where he just watches the ball, gives you unbiased tape.
now that he now that his team is you know and he always was rooting for UCLA so it's not like he's
bandwagon but now that he's like in it like man I got to figure out this cocky Blutman well what I love
about it got to figure it out the last last two weekends he's gone to games and it does take him away
from his natural environment of ball watching and so even though he's winning and even though he's
still a little sad he's missing some ball he's lost his identity is that not correct Blutman
you're just a little, a 10% of you is a little sad to miss some ball?
Yeah, higher.
I think it's mostly that I'm just, I have to, I need Wisconsin to beat UCLA.
So I'm getting up for.
Where's the game?
In the Rose Bowl.
That's in the Rose Bowl.
Did T. Bob talk about his plane ride to Dallas on Wobb?
No, he did not.
What, uh, what, what is this?
So T.
So Teabot was sitting in front of me on the plane.
And I had my, it, we just took off.
I had my eyes.
for like five minutes and I look up and he's not there.
And so about a half hour passes and he's not back.
And I'm like, oh, he must have just like switched seats.
Like there's no way he's going to the bathroom.
He claims his bladder is so bad and he was he was window seat sitting next to two older people
who were dozing off.
So he felt bad for making them get up.
This guy sat in the bathroom for maybe 35 minutes reading a book and went through three
piss cycles.
He just waited in there.
You just wait it for the next?
What about the other people that had to pee?
Three times.
There was two bathrooms.
Okay.
I think that's fucked up on T. Bob's part for not getting an aisle.
Did the staff not knock on the door being like, hey, man.
I think there was one of those where there's another bathroom right across from the bathroom.
So like people were just waiting in that line.
But what a move.
Three times.
Cycled through three peas.
40 minutes.
On her off the leash.
Now there's times before bed where I'll pee and I'm like, I can't go to sleep yet because I know in other
one's coming so I wait I waited out but I've never done that on a plane yeah I mean you can
only do it if there's another bathroom that's like right across which there were doing bathrooms
I believe so yeah I didn't even go we were in line to get into medieval times and chef donnie goes
oh he looks at his phone he like starts laughing he's like my parents are sending me embarrassing
photos for my birthday and I forgot I took violin lessons and I was like oh I got to see this
picture of you holding the violin and he shows it to me and he's just an adult
adult.
Wait a second.
When did you take violin lessons?
He was like, when I moved here.
What?
He moved to Chicago and started taking violin lessons.
Oh, man.
He bought a very nice...
And he said his teacher made him take that.
He made him take it.
That's two years ago.
What the hell?
But he said it like it was...
Yeah, he was so embarrassed.
So he doesn't have his violin anymore,
but he said he remember.
some songs. I would love to, because he wanted to be like a country, like, fiddle player.
I think this is when he got into Billy Strings. Oh, yeah. Violin is top, top three worst
instruments to have a novice learning around you. Oh, it has to sound so bad. What would be the other two?
Drums for sure. Drums, maybe a horn. Even if you're good at drums, I don't want to just hear that solo.
Yeah, what would be the other one? I went from viola to drums as a kid. My parents
probably wanted to kill me.
That was my two.
It needs to be something like screeches.
In the neighborhood growing up, well, not really a neighborhood,
but in the neighborhood growing up, there was a person a couple of doors down.
Their kid was in the band that would practice at home.
There was a trumpet or something or whatever it was.
They weren't good.
And in the afternoon you was hear it.
It fucking sucked.
Tuba would be not bad.
I think tubas are the funniest.
That's a fun sound.
They're the funniest.
They're hilarious.
In New York, I lived above a guy who had gone to, I think it's Holy Cross the one in Yonkers or whatever.
What's that university?
They get into the March Madness sometimes.
Holy Cross is not New Yorkers, but it's.
I don't know if anyone's in Yonnas.
Ciona?
Iona.
Iona.
And he was there on a bagpipe scholarship, so he was always playing a bagpipes scholarship.
Oh, Bagpipe scholarship?
Yeah.
Oh, Nico's out for the rest of the season.
Blutman, come in here.
What does it mean?
He wasn't playing well.
No.
Niko.
Is their backup better?
Probably just as good for what they're doing.
Shit.
It's weird that that came out right after.
Right as, yeah.
Wait, so, Kate, what instrument do you play?
Bagpipes.
Bagpipes are cool.
He was really good.
But you also, when you're listening to bagpipes, you're like, I should just be at a funeral or an Irish bar.
Yeah.
There's really only two places bagpipes exist.
ACDC.
ACDC, good call.
Yes, good call.
Weird to hear it outside of March.
You are very UCLA.
out. Of course I am. I have been all year. They've, they've reignited the fire and not just me,
but so many others that love this program. Okay. I was talking like a coach. Is Nico being out big?
We're a team. We're all about the team. Come on. Give me the real. I mean, yeah, it's big. We're going to miss
them in the run game, but it's not like he was throwing the ball very well. Okay. I think Ty Defenbach
could come. He threw a great ball at the end of the first half. Brian Rowe dropped. I should have caught it.
I don't know. We'll see.
So how good?
Did you fly with the team?
No.
Oh.
I flew from Chicago.
They flew from LA.
No, I didn't know if you flew back with him or something.
Oh, no, no.
Some of them thought I was, but they don't understand a lot of people don't understand
that I, like, got a legit job I got to do here.
Yeah.
And they want me at every game and stuff.
I'm sorry, man.
Yeah.
This is, this is, they need me.
They need you.
You want me to go?
Yeah.
Are you going to help with?
They said,
They let you do the Brandon Walker show live from the Rose Bowl.
There was talk of it.
Live from the field.
Do it.
That'd be cool.
Does it make you happy?
Of course.
And I want you to do it.
I'll do social if you want me to for you.
Okay.
Where's the game?
LA.
Oh, yeah.
I'll work social for you.
I'll be willing to help out.
I'm a team player.
I've always been a team player.
You have been.
Are you going to help them with the transfer portal?
Can't get too far ahead of.
ourselves. No, but I'm saying like, right now.
No, but after the season, like you're trying again in our head.
No, I'm not. I'm just asking like, you guys, you know about all these players.
Are they going to ask you for advice?
I don't know. We'll see.
I think you. I think you're, I think here's the issue.
Cinema spreadsheet. Yeah, I love that.
Here's the issue. I think the two best targets in the parole list here.
I hate to say it, but you know who they are.
Oh.
Yeah.
Legree and Braden Atkinson.
It's not all about you.
But your guy, your guy's.
fine Brandon.
Yeah, it's not all about.
We're talking to Oregon State.
Talking about Oregon State.
Talking about our favorite team of the country.
And they should stay at Oregon State for the remainder of their careers, but unfortunately,
that's not how it goes in this day and age.
Those guys are awesome.
And someone's going to pay on a bunch of my money.
I have bet Oregon State like four weeks in a row, and I don't, I just open up the
app and they're just up 35 nothing every single time.
You just look, they, they sports.
Oregon State.
That's a team that's not going to ever.
Kyle.
K.B.
.
They're nasty.
Kyle.
Every single game, you just open it up and it's like, oh, six minutes into the game, they're up 21 nothing, cool.
Oh, Brian Atkinson, 16 of 16 for 300 yards.
And Jesse Legree has nine catches for 150 and two every week.
Dude, they're nice like that.
You want to talk about Jeremiah Smith being dominant week and week out?
Jesse Legree is doing the same thing.
He's a true freshman.
He's got more yards.
He didn't start playing wider Cere until he was a senior in high school.
He has 12 touchdowns, Kyle.
Problem child.
He put on his eye black.
Problem child.
I think it was probably.
talking about Oregon.
Problem kid.
Problem kid.
Not as cool, but still.
Still.
Problem child.
They're like legitimately must see.
They're must see TV.
They're must see TV, bro.
What are you saying about Oregon State definitive?
Why don't you take a step back?
What are they ranked?
They're not ranked.
They lost the first two games.
They're not fucking.
They played Houston and Texas second.
They held their own.
They fucking played them hard.
And they put them on the map for Big Cat and I, and we love them.
Why are you all about this?
Because, dude, if you ain't,
Watch it.
You made me watch them.
If you had a team that you, it's like they're my banana stand.
There's money always in Oregon State.
I could lose every bet, but Oregon State's coming up.
They got a tilt against Fresno.
They're going to win by 100.
You're talking about in the world of gambling.
Well, yeah, and also they're very fun to watch.
They're just fun to watch.
I mean, they scored 66.
They're so good defense.
Kyle, they're so good.
Last week, the Colorado State defensive coordinator got fired at halftime.
Yep.
He left the field.
He can't figure it out.
And then the first.
He left the field, Kyle.
He got fired at halftime.
Tyson Summer.
In the middle of a game.
They're like, get out of here, dude.
You suck.
And then the new DC called plays for a first time ever,
and the first possession got a strip sack on them.
Yeah.
And Oregon State, they like that.
And they just trounced them.
Yeah.
But, dude, think about that.
They literally like, dude, you suck at this job.
You're getting killed by Oregon State.
You're out.
Middle of the game.
You got to look into them.
And this is Colorado State, though.
Yeah.
That's the sad part of this story.
Well, let's not do that.
It's not judge.
The conference realignment left out, Oregon, stay, and Washington, Stan.
You look this year, Washington State stinks.
I don't think they may a good hire.
Oregon State may have phenomenal hire.
And you look at all across the country at teams that are making great hires, not Penn State, not Arkansas,
but teams that are and they could flip it in an offseason.
Oregon State did that with no resources.
No resources.
So I'd love to get behind Oregon State
You gotta
It's like what is their ceiling
It feels like in this day of football
It's like what can they do
They can make the playoff
Okay
They could be the best group of sixth rap
If they win out win the Pac-12
That would
That would have two wins against Boise State
Yeah
Yeah
Get on them
Most likely scenario Kyle though
Is they come a little short of the playoff
Get you excited about next year
And then all their players leave
Let me see what the
Yeah
Yeah
And then
Yeah
probably somewhere.
Is that demoralizing, like, as their coach?
Oh, yeah.
Like, well, their coach is going to leave.
Their coach is.
Oh, yeah.
The coach is gone.
It's really, the only losers in this are the fans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a bummer.
Or could be like down, so, they're down so bad.
I know.
They see all their West Coast friends level up and.
And they don't even play Oregon this year, which they could have beaten them.
Yeah, that's, it's bullshit.
Pitiful.
Stinks.
All right.
That was a ball talk.
Thank you, Blumman.
Thanks, guys.
I guess.
maybe Brown Walker show Saturday night Rose Bowl we'll see but we have to beat you
yeah good luck buddy okay good luck good luck good luck you're ready to learn me symposa okay get
ready to learn nope not gonna learn it okay oh wow fuck yeah oh okay all right I like that
sorry for coming at you Kyle but we really had to organ they lost to Houston yeah I know
Houston's good they lost the first two games of season all right it happens
We're just having fun then
No, look at their scores
After that
Like silly fandom
What is that?
What are you talking about?
Look at their scores
They beat U-Tep
By
20 something
Yeah
Belt to ass
Montana
Belta ass
Colorado
Colorado
We ran 105 plays last this Saturday.
11 completed passes.
Yeah.
The only other schools to do that are all service academy.
I saw that, yeah, 300 yards rushing, ran 105 plays, lost by 30.
Oh.
What are you saying they were going to be good?
They would start off 3 and 0, you know, ranked Virginia.
And then they're averaging, they're letting up about 11 and a half yards of play.
Okay.
You know, their defensive coordinator said we're the worst defense in college football.
He's making a million and a half.
came out and said that. He's like, yeah, we are the worst.
Oh, maybe historically the worst.
Yeah. He's like, we got to reteach everyone.
Oh, no, that was Georgia Tech. George Tech's coach was like, we got to reteach them how to play football.
That's a bad spot.
I don't get how performance fluctuates so crazy in college football.
What do you mean?
Like, how can a team that, like, starts off good beats top teams, then go?
Well, Virginia is not a tough. Virginia was a top team? Not a top team.
They beat Coastal Carolina by a possession.
It's not great.
It basically happens in September when all the preseason rankings are still fresh.
It's like Kentucky went.
Kentucky's won other big game since,
but Kentucky went and beat Texas A&M.
And everyone's like, holy fuck, how did they do this?
Texan Am was top 10.
Texas A.m is garbage.
Yeah.
Like really bad.
So then you find out.
This is why I can only do NFL.
Yeah.
At the college scene, it's fun.
It's exciting.
It's too much, though.
You're an NFL guy, yeah, I get it.
You're Jets.
An offense guy.
You Jets.
I haven't looked at the defense yet.
Aaron Glenn with the challenge flag was so fucking funny.
I saw the short video.
The GIF?
Yeah.
That's what it was.
The Giff?
Che, by the way, coward, not here today,
even though we had a tie,
which he didn't have in the data.
No, data's ruined.
Data has been ruined like $7,000.
First game of the year, right?
Yeah, first game of the year.
First game of the year.
Data ruined.
But this might be his worst data yet.
He'll somehow be like, well, I had the winner.
I actually went four for 32.
Yeah.
Not bad.
Oh, I said the Seahawks were going to be good.
I had them in the playoffs.
A lot of people didn't.
Did he have the Niners not making the playoffs?
Niners, awesome.
Did he have the Niners?
I don't know.
I mean, he had the Chiefs at 6 and 11.
and they've, they're, oh.
And he had the bucks in 11 and 6.
That's right.
One and four.
Do you have the Niners?
Where do you have the Niners?
Titus, you have to eat 10 and 7.
There we go.
Okay.
His dolphins, right?
Oh, yeah.
Brandon is.
We're really putting them through the ringer.
They're not.
Nikki smokes, to his credit, said a smart thing.
It needed a lot of clarification.
He's like, we're the best winless team.
He said this before the Texans won, and we're like, he's like, we're the best winless team.
We're like, well, what about the Texans?
He's like, yeah, but they're not supposed to be 0 and 4.
And we're like, what about the Chargers?
They're not supposed to be 0.5.
So you're just better than the Titans.
He's like, yeah.
I'm like, all right, I agree.
The teams that are supposed to.
I agree.
That's pretty sound logic.
Yeah.
For the teams that we're supposed to suck, we're not the worst.
He's right.
your Herbert take though Kyle
Oof
Yeah
Max
I'll miss comprehending the take
I fear he stinks out loud
Max has
Max put a nickname on him
That is stuck
What he said
He called him a big stupid pick guy
Last year
And he just throws big stupid picks
Every time
It's bad
It big stupid pick guy
I never said he was the top
NFL quarterback
You just said he was
Where he was though
I'm saying he was a top human
Because
He was
He was.
The Harbaugh promised Hall of Fame.
Was what?
Yeah.
He probably,
he promised.
I actually think he caught him the greatest of all time.
I'm actually worried about Harbaugh.
He's never lost eight in a row.
Oh, really?
Never lost eight in a row.
Wow.
Oh.
You think he'll go back to college when he gets fired?
He might.
You got to admit, he might have spent the last two or three years at Michigan on an easy mode.
And then when he got back to the pros, it was a little bit different.
My idea I threw out on mostly sports is he should fake COVID and Dodge competition like he did at Michigan.
That's what turned Michigan around.
when they didn't play the game
when they didn't play Ohio State
and he just faked
he should start doing that
turn the Chargers season around
not a bad idea
I predict Justin Hervers
be known as the best ever
to play the position of quarterback
yikes
this is like a parent
being like my kid is so smart
that was on the White House with Michael Irvin
Jesus
but it's still early right
when you go on the White House
you say crazy you say crazy
you can't be held responsible
you got to bring your craziest take
It's like NBA players with Taylor Rooks.
They just be saying it.
Yeah.
I don't know what I'm going to say.
They just be saying anything.
You guys are aware of that.
They sit down to do interviews with Taylor Rooks.
They're like, yeah, I'm going to win MVP like five times probably.
Dante.
Just be saying the wildest shit.
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The Don.
Hey guys.
What's up?
I got some good news.
Let's go.
Got a new project.
All right.
The backyard's kind of complete.
The tables are coming later this week.
The plants are coming.
Hopefully Friday.
Donnie's hanging the lights later this week.
So that'll be done.
So next thing on the agenda, we're launching Barstool Presents.
All right, let's go.
Tell me more, please.
There we go, thank you.
I was waiting.
Oh, okay.
Waiting for somebody to ask about it.
Hey, Dante, what's Barstall Presents?
Oh, no, we get it.
We know what it is.
So remember the All-American Reject Show?
Yeah.
That went so well, and there was such a follow-up from a lot of, like, music labels, bands, artists,
wanting to come here and perform,
we just didn't have anything really to offer
or do around that.
So we're going to really try to make
something that we can showcase,
not just music either.
I mean, you guys have so many big name
and up-and-coming comedians come through.
We're going to do comedy.
There might be some magic involved.
Yes, please.
Ventriloquism?
True acquit.
We know a guy.
Elyquist.
Yep.
Pretty much anybody that has talent, we're going to showcase.
So staging, lighting, sound, we're bringing, it's going to be big.
It's going to be awesome.
First one we're going to do, we're shooting like a sizzle reel next Thursday, the 22nd.
Can you say you have?
Comedy showcase.
Bader's helping out.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah, he's very well connected and very talented himself.
Bader's going to help host the comedy portion.
The music, we're still lining up.
Jordan, you know, fields tons of.
request for that.
Yeah, so next Thursday,
22nd afternoon, make sure you all
stick around. Absolutely.
I love that. Yeah. Cool.
While we have you here, Dante,
this is going to be exciting. I'm very excited for this.
I have a question for you.
The billionaire feeding
the rats.
Do you guys know about this?
Yeah. We talked about it, but we said Dante
feels like he probably is on this for a while.
I was going to
blog it, but I don't know an angle to
blog it from. You don't know an angle
about a billionaire feeding rats.
I'm like so confused by the whole thing.
You?
Yeah.
What?
That's never stopped you before.
I mean, do you think he's sick?
Yeah, he's 94.
What do you mean by sick?
Like, he's not all there, right?
Like he thinks they're like puppies or.
But why were puppies he feed him himself?
Right.
Why wouldn't he feed him by his house, too?
But why is he feeding them upscale European nuts that are like hard to, like.
It's all by the farmers market?
He's got it like that, Kate.
Yeah.
Is it all by that farmer's market?
That's just like that general area.
That particular area is like the hardest hit.
I read that this weekend and obviously it came up because the alderman is like has no other options.
Like he's like, I have to put this out in the media because this guy is just not getting the point.
Yeah.
And I was just, I was like, this is so.
bizarre.
I find this remarkably disappointing, Dante.
I would have thought you would link this to the CIA
or to aliens or something.
I hate, like,
he's mentally ill. I don't like, like,
joke around about mental illness.
What are we doing here? I mean, he's, he's fucking shot.
He's 94,
not all there. Like I said, he probably thinks
he's feeding, like,
but he's not feeling anything. He's deputizing
people to feed him. And he's got, like,
a younger looking wife. And, like,
a younger lady opened that door. Like,
got people around him and he's not giving anyone an explanation and he's feeding rats nuts what
do you think it's like a batman villain thing like he's trying to be well there's theories that like
he's trying to get the farmers market closed down or something so he's trying to infest oh i didn't read that
yeah yeah i did he's out there i don't think he's as innocent as you why are you being so restrained
are you in his pockets yeah are they nuts like something's going on oh i fucking hate rats they
scare the shit out of me.
Like, you scream when you see them?
No, but like the really big ones that like dart across the screen.
You wouldn't scream.
You'd make you jump.
I would scream.
Shanta, you're, you're the screamer up there.
Sometimes I bring trash out late, late, late, and they're in the bins.
Have that ever happened to you?
Yeah.
Oh, how do they get up there?
You scream?
Yeah.
Billionaire.
Yeah, when they're like eye level with you, I scream.
He makes ladders for them.
Yeah.
How do they get up there?
I feel like you would know the answer to this.
They climb.
They can crawl through anything.
They climb up trees.
Sharp little clouds.
Can we ask about the farm animals?
Oh, yeah.
What happened?
Dante wants to get a goat for the backyard.
Yes.
Done.
It would only stay in the backyard.
I could take care of it.
Yes, done.
We saw these really cool.
Why are you so high on it?
I just think it would be awesome to have a goat in the backyard.
It would be awesome.
Almost certainly can't do it in the city, but whatever.
It would be awesome.
I'm sure we'd have to get 38 permits.
So we went to the state fair on this weekend, and Danny did
exploring and he came and grabbed us and was like you got to come in here and you walked us into the
what was that even called the south african bull goats no no but what was that area called i don't know
i think it's like a arm yeah kind of but they were like showing these goats off like the one guy was
like vacuuming it yeah they were pristine it was like a dog show but for goats what yeah it was a
four h it was bizarre yeah i think it was something like that but these they were beautiful you don't
like the goats pig cat goat see
I just feel like the goats going to die and then I'm going to play.
They take care of themselves.
We wouldn't have to mow the lawn anymore.
They eat the grass.
People got mad when we couldn't keep a goldfish alive.
We can.
Oh, yeah.
We can use its milk.
No.
You're right.
No, Dante, we're not going to be using the goat's milk.
Great cheese.
Best cheese.
Go cheese?
Goat cheese?
Yeah, it is.
Not some of the least cheese is in this world.
There's the, TJ.
Pull it up.
No, no, no.
I'm sending goats straight to S.
Toward the bottom.
What?
I'm not going to go to S.
Two,
no.
Hold up.
Oh, eat the fuck up.
You did it every day.
Two creak.
You eat go to eat cheese every day.
No way.
My salad.
Goat is a lot.
It's the best.
No.
It is.
It's fine.
Sharp cheddar.
Oh, it's a sharp cheddar.
Gouda.
And.
Smoke Guda.
Smoke Guda.
Smoke Guda.
Lady animals aren't just.
No, you get a lot.
Get it out of there.
Go his ass.
Go to Zess.
Uh-uh.
No.
Absolutely, yes.
Spreadable, which is huge.
All right.
You put it on it.
Everybody just relax for a second.
You lock in.
And chill out.
Obviously Humboldt fog.
Um,
I mean,
Casso Blanco is.
I mean,
cream cheese should be ass.
We use it for everything.
Monterey Jack on a hot soup.
Forget it.
So good.
Pepper Jack?
This is going to tear this family apart.
Oh, my God.
Kobe Jack.
Bree is,
There's so many good ones.
I mean, just classic cheddar's got to be ass, right?
Bree is S.
I would say Brie is S as well.
Parmesan has been climbing.
But I can't, you think about Bree and goat beside each other.
I just did.
Get goat out of S and let's have a real conversation here.
I don't think you've had goat cheese.
I've had goat cheese.
I don't think you've ever had goat cheese.
You're not ass.
It's not S.
It has a weird taste.
It's a B.
Go cheese is a league.
Can I ask you guys a question about a cheese that's on here that I think is just like it's the most.
Whiz?
Blah.
I don't get the appeal of American cheese.
Whoa.
I'm with you.
I'm sorry.
That's the only grilled cheese with yellow cheese sucks.
It has to be white American.
No, cheddar.
No way, dude.
Cheddar.
That's the thing with American cheese.
Everyone's like, oh, to wait for grilled cheese or burgers?
Cheddar's better on both.
Disagree.
Solid disagree.
Now, a nice Cooper.
Here's my input.
Dan is right and wrong.
It's better tasting.
American belts.
American melts the best.
Yes.
Cheddar does not melt the best.
It tastes better.
Cheddar does not melt great on burrs.
Americans like plastic.
No.
You guys ain't the wrong in America.
Dante, fuck you.
No, I'm torn.
That cheese list I could never rank.
They're all so good.
Americans like kid cheese.
Yeah.
There shouldn't be a tier under B.
American is kid cheese.
Right.
Be A and S.
American is cheddar cheese that they made to melt better.
Let's just.
Yeah, but it doesn't taste like cheddar.
Cheese is a anonymous.
It's made out of cheddar.
Cheese is the best.
food. Let's shout out cheese.
But there are three that just put me into shackles.
Such ass.
And they're not even my favorite.
Blue cheese.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Makes me prehistoric.
Yeah.
Great.
We're with you.
Makes me explode.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, something about when it hits my lips.
Yeah.
Not even my tongue.
Just changes your body composition?
Blue cheese. I don't know what.
It's the sharpness.
Mm-hmm.
Parmesan.
Of course.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah, like the Parmesan of cheeses.
And I will always opt for Pepper Jack.
Yeah.
Pepper Jack is way better on burgers than American.
Yes, I agree with all of that.
Smoke Gouda, too.
Oh, like smoked Gouda, yeah.
Oh, my God, is it so good.
And this motherfucker put a goat at the top.
Mark is a spreadable guy, which I respect.
Yeah.
You are a spreadable.
Bree, goat.
Yeah.
Dude, you get in charcuttery.
If it doesn't have Bree, I send it back.
Got to have some Bree on that.
there. I like a good hard cheese too,
but you got to have Brie on there.
I was peeing. Is feta half goat? Is it
half goat, half cow? Don't
shoot me. I always thought it was just goat.
We weren't going to shoot you. That's a silly
thing to shoot you over. I was
dumb motherfucker. I'm sitting here
preaching about goat cheese and I
always thought feta like fell under
sheep.
A mixture of sheep and goat. Interesting.
Fed is
you can't eat feta with like crack.
Fed is good. Yeah.
Fed is.
Yeah.
Are you a big Greek salad guy?
Not necessarily.
I love it.
That's part why I like.
Athenian room,
Feta.
Oh,
come on.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Great call.
Yes.
Oh, my fucking God.
Talk to me.
Sweet, Danny.
Oh, my God.
Keep going, Danny.
Go ahead.
Keep going.
Athenian room.
Skirt steak.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You don't get the chicken Kalamata dinner?
Never.
I've never gotten anything besides the skirt thing.
You're a kid.
You told me to get that.
never gotten anything else chicken calamada dinner is the greatest chicken that's ever been created
chicken man no no no he's right no he's right no chicken's chicken bad you know a good chicken's
not beaten skirt steak especially in skirt sake that's great i Danny get the chicken calamata dinner
and then tell me the chicken's chicken okay but i'm also getting i'm getting a skirt steak
i don't give a fuck you will not tell me chicken's chicken again you're getting a side steak
It's the juiciest best chicken ever.
I've been going there since I was a kid.
I forgot anything.
And you've been missing out on the best thing on the menu.
Now I'm going to get foam.
You want to go to this week?
I'll go with you.
Let's go Thursday.
You know who else has a great Greek chicken?
Carson's.
Okay.
Fantastic.
They're Greek, so it's not like, but they.
It's just hard.
Athenia room and Carson's one, two for me.
Dude, I cannot believe you've never gotten the chicken Kalamata there.
That's actually shocking.
It's that good.
I'm scared now.
It's so good.
Oh, that looks so good.
Have you got the skirts sake?
Yes.
Okay, okay.
What's Calamata?
Is that olives?
This, this.
Google that.
Is Athenian Room the one that's connected to the pub?
Yes.
Glass guys.
Yeah, that place seems awesome.
Brandon, I sent you a...
The best.
Fired. Danny's right, too.
Their fries are.
They...
Yeah, wet.
You got to get them wet.
You got to get them wet.
The lemon juice.
Oh, they're fire.
It was a T.
The Faye's favorite spot.
She...
Oh, that does look really good.
She filmed that.
David Letterman Netflix.
It's so fucking good.
Chicken's chicken.
Chicken is not chicken.
That was assing.
You haven't had the medieval.
I'm so mad at you never having chicken Kalamata.
That's.
Let's go right now.
Oh, that'd be so good.
It's the best.
All right.
Thank you, Dante.
Thanks, guys.
Varsal Presents.
Varsal Presents next Thursday.
Everybody better be there.
Yes.
Please.
Yep.
Thank you.
Sorry about the goat.
Yeah.
Brandon, are you about to be out $1,200 bucks?
Why?
I sent him a Pete Rose coffee table.
Oh, wow.
Used or themed?
It's maybe both.
Oh, God.
He's sliding?
He's sliding and the glass is on top.
Isn't that not?
Doesn't look enough like that?
Shouldn't you be sliding head first?
He should be, but.
Listen, man.
He's trapped by the table.
Maybe that's why it's...
Doing a lot.
Is that Pete Rose?
It's not even close to Pete.
This Twitter account, Insane, Facebook,
marketplace items? That is so sick.
That's a follow. Brandon and I are in
the middle of a gift off right now. Yeah, and I'm up.
But you are so
fucked with what I have coming in.
No, you don't. I spent three hours
Googling what to buy you last night. Brandon.
I ignore my kids to buy you a gift. I'm telling you how
I, you are so
fucked. All right, bring it, bitch.
Did
your house like the
Pokemon art that I bought you? One of us did.
I won't say which.
But one of us really appreciated it.
Which Pokemon?
He got me, like, giant versions of the Game Boy games.
Yeah.
Like this big, but not just one, every single Game Boy game.
So I have a lot of oversized Game Boy cartridges.
From Mint?
Yeah, right?
That's exactly what I got you.
From Mint, yes.
I've seen it.
Yeah, shout out, Matt.
That's from Mintz.
Me too.
Hmm.
His. Nope.
Not going to, nope.
No.
Say it.
Say it.
Boy, that ankle heals up real fast when he's not here, doesn't it?
He was, yeah, he was never heard of them thinking.
VIP passes made me mad.
That's all I'll say.
When he only got one for him.
He didn't grab her bag out of the trunk.
He took the last room.
He took VIP.
She had to piss in a porta potty.
I don't think that the five VIP passes were ever real.
That might have just been a sweetened the deal kind of thing.
We could bring him down and talk to him.
No.
I swear on the record that was not me?
He's not here.
Okay, good.
Why would he be here on a Monday?
Yeah, that's,
It's true.
Yeah.
Come on, dude.
It's Monday.
He's like Garfield.
He hates Mondays.
Loves lasagna.
Well, he's got to get.
He's sleeping in that Garfield bed.
He's got to get back for his shot.
That's true.
Well, that's not until 11 o'clock tonight.
That's third quarter of Monday night football.
When you're watching Monday Football tonight, just remember.
Yeah.
Just having a strange man show up at his house and shoot him in his side with a drug, off-market
drug.
He has a man penetrate him every Monday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
By the way, do you guys, why don't paper towels and napkins get more guff for being essentially the same product?
Oh my God.
They're not the same.
I'm not the same.
Why are we talking shit about the stuff?
Obsessed with napkins.
I'm very thankful for napkins.
I would never talk shit.
You don't use napkins?
That sentence, he actually wrote that sentence.
No, no.
Why don't paper towels and napkins get more guff?
Why aren't we giving them more guff?
Like, tonight I'm going to take out a paper towel roll and I'm going to start giving it some guff.
Dude, you're just a napkin.
Who do we allocate the guff toward?
But also, would it, the guff would be towards,
I think it would be towards napkins being like, grow up, become a paper towel.
Right?
No, because they're a bit abrasive on the mouth.
But the paper towel is a better version of a napkin.
More absorbent, without doubt.
And it's also easier to rip and pull.
You don't have to rip.
You don't have to rip an app.
I use paper towel.
No, no, but I'm saying like to just,
I think they both have a place.
Among our products, paper towel is way up there.
That's a terrific little product.
We're a paper towel house.
We don't do napkins.
At dinner, yes.
Yeah, right.
So napkins should be getting the guff.
You've been replaced.
You don't say pass me a napkin.
You throw them to paper towel.
Right.
You don't have a pile of like the napkins you get from a like door dashing.
That's the thing.
You're never getting the right amount of napkins either.
It's either way too many.
Yeah, not enough.
Who's complaining about too many napkins?
But you always have paper towels.
Fuck.
So the napkins get the guff.
Then you should have read a little bit longer.
That's not the best one.
Oh, no.
Are you four or against spiral staircases?
Mm.
I think I'm a.
Who is either for or against Spiral Strait?
No, I'm against them.
I used to be insanely four until I had them in my first apartment.
They're brutal.
They suck.
But they look good.
No, I don't even think they look good.
They look good.
They look great.
Viral staircase looks good.
You're against them aesthetically too?
Yeah, they're just dangerous and they...
I have one on the outside going from my deck.
I always feel like I'm...
Do you stub your toe?
I almost fall every time.
Yeah, they're tricky.
I'm going to get stuck on it.
And my old house, it was kind of narrow.
We had an extra floor, basement, first floor, second floor, third floor.
And they said for like fire code or whatever, we had to have an out, like a spiral staircase that would go from the very top to the bottom, 100 spiral staircase just in its own room.
Since then.
That's incredible.
That's, it never ends.
No, yeah.
The apartment you stayed at had that tall one and it took forever.
That's right.
And dogs can't go up it.
You get scared.
No, no.
I stood on, there was like a weird, weird space that you could just well.
A ceilingless room.
Yeah.
What makes a spark?
Like, what about the half turn, you know?
Is that spiral?
Yeah, that's a spiral, I think.
I think that's a nice little round.
Does that have to complete the rotation to be a spiral?
You could never get a piece of furniture up it.
No.
Oh, yeah.
That's good luck out with an outcouch.
You're fucked.
And dogs.
You've got to think about dogs.
Thinking about them.
They do not like spiral staircases.
A little timid.
Yeah.
Rightfully so.
Dogs always know.
Are a spiral at the end and at the top a little.
bit in our eyes. We're in like a skinny townhouse and I cannot tell you how many times
and they're carpeted that if you stay too close to the skinny edge how many times we've busted
all of us and bust our asses. Dangerous. Taking the laundry down. Dangerous. Yeah.
Visually appealing though. Yes, yes. Yeah, he's on one to do they say. If you've got a throat
issue, would you use one of those throat voice things like cane or would you rather learn sign language?
What? I think I'd rather learn sign language. I learned something this week and that blew my mind and I'm
I'm curious if the room knew about this.
Are you aware of the...
So this is the 155th anniversary of the Great Chicago Fire,
which was October 8 through 10th.
This Thursday through Saturday marked the anniversary
that the fire raged on.
We're all familiar with that, right?
Yes.
Bessie.
Kind of defined the city.
That's the second city.
That's right.
Right, the Great Chicago Fire.
Are you aware that in Pistigo, Wisconsin,
there was a fire that was the deadliest wildfire
in the history.
history of recorded mankind.
No?
No.
That nowhere on planet Earth has there been a fire that has killed more people than this fire in Dore
County in northern Wisconsin that happened.
How many people?
They don't know.
It killed so many people.
They don't even have like a, they believe it was like over 2,000.
They didn't even count it up.
I don't know if they like people were burned to a crisp.
I don't know if people disappeared.
They, they could.
It's around 2,000 people were killed in this fire.
That fire in Pistigo, Wisconsin started on October 8th, 1871, the exact same day of the
Chicago fire.
They got fire cucked.
How did they get fire cucked?
They did.
Their fire was better, though.
No, I'm asking how could they have possibly gotten fire cucked out a whole city?
They killed.
1.2 million acres.
Oh, my God.
Wait, so this blew my mind.
So a rural Wisconsin fire killed more people than the great Chicago fire on the exact same
day.
I was reading about the great Chicago fire.
I got distracted.
by some links, and then I ended up on the Pashiko fire,
and I was like, how was nobody ever on the exact same day?
Do you know I wasn't Miss Hillary's cow either?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Several cities in Michigan, including Holland and Manistee across Lake Michigan,
also had major fires on the same day.
What the fuck happened?
Is this like the windiest day ever?
This was an attack on America.
Isn't that nuts?
Now I'm going to get real into sequential tragedies.
There must be more.
A shipwreck the same day as the Titanic?
I don't know if I ever knew its name.
That big time.
It was fire there.
Yeah, but it was exonerated and everything.
Miss O'Leary had nothing to do with it.
Neither did her cow.
But the cow was still delicious.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good, good, good, good note.
It's the biggest fire of all time.
Yeah.
And it's the second most famous upper Midwest fire on that day.
Yeah.
And it was the deadliest fire ever.
I was reading about deadly floods.
Why?
And there was a river in China that killed two million.
Shit.
That's so many.
What?
That's so many people.
And I don't think of...
Yeah, two million people.
Two million?
That's too many.
In my opinion.
All at once in one foul swoop?
I don't know.
That's like the...
That's so many people.
That's so many people.
That's so many people, Bray.
That's wipes out of Mississippi.
There's a flood that killed all of Mississippi.
How many stars do you think would be on the Chicago flag if they made it today?
How many more notable events?
Is that what they're for?
Yeah.
Yeah, one's for the fire.
Jordan would have Jordan,
Jordan, getting drafted.
One is Jordan, one's, Dicca, one's fire.
Yeah.
The round Sandberg game.
One is alligator and Humboldt Park Lagoon.
Mallory Swanson coming back from her pregnancy.
Biggap.
Biggap.
Badard playing tomorrow.
I know.
Blackhawks suck.
Yeah, Badard's back, though.
Really bad.
Yeah.
Watch the game.
It wasn't fun.
Yeah, they're bad.
But Badard's going to save it.
That's what I say.
Yeah.
Why not?
Why not?
Why not?
Also, this is actually a good question.
If booths are available at a restaurant, do you ever opt for a table?
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever.
Booth is so much.
But why don't we give tables more guff for not being booths?
Why shouldn't the restaurant should be all booths?
I've been doing bar seating.
I like bar seating too.
I'm not cool enough to do that.
I'm not either, but it's just really good service.
And I like sitting right next to my gal.
You feel like a regular.
Yes.
You can go to a Michelin Star Restaurant.
Oh, we'll sit at the bar.
Hop up the bar.
Yeah, no, you feel like a regular.
You get fed in five minutes.
When they walk you to a table and you don't like the table, will you say, can I please sit somewhere else?
No.
I used to be a hostess.
I'll do it.
And you people were the bane of my.
Everybody wanted a booth.
People go crazy waiting for a booth or get real mad over the booth or if they get stuck at a regular table and then the people that would ask to be moved.
After they'd already been seated and got their drinks, they're like looking around and they're like, actually.
Yeah.
I won't sit down.
I'll be like, uh, I'll be like, uh,
We'll just wait.
Yeah, I'd just rather wait than sit here.
I think people forget, like, we're trying to seat in a pattern for the waiters and waitresses.
Yeah, for sure.
But then.
And then the waiters pissed at you.
But what would be honest with you?
Well, I don't like, okay, so, like, if it's a table on the outer ring of the restaurant, I'm fine.
I don't like being in the middle.
I get really weird about being in the middle with surrounding the table.
I don't like being in my bathroom.
Not really.
I don't like being in the middle.
the whole crowd of the Brandon Walker
College football show. Starring who?
Brandon Walker. I think it's starring Liam Bluffin
this year. Maybe this year.
This season. I don't think I'm the star
anymore. What's
the least deadly natural disaster? Like, do
Tune Rados get too much praise?
Well, so I feel like there's something, like, I think you mudslides
get a lot of damage. I feel like hurricanes don't
cause a lot of damage, but
they don't necessarily kill them. They let you know
they're coming. Right.
Earth wave?
Yeah, safe waves, of course.
Oh, here we go.
We're going on with this.
Now that we all know what that is.
Here we fucking know.
I'm happy to talk about it.
Yeah, avalanches because there's so many happen without people there.
Yeah, true.
Man, dying in an avalanche would be pretty bad.
I would imagine.
Pretty bad.
You'd be so cold.
Well, you just wouldn't be panicking.
Yeah, it'd be cold and scared.
Yeah, really scary.
as you're tumbling down the hill.
It's really shitty luck.
Yeah.
Your body's getting...
Tough way.
On the entire Earth, like most of the Earth is sitting still,
except for the Earth that you chose,
and now it's falling on top of you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That would suck bad, man.
Oh, can you do the last read, Brandon?
Porkrines.
Oh, pork rinds.
I love porkrines.
Porkrines.com.
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Sign me up for that.
Air-fried pizza and pimento cheese.
Oh, my God. Pimento cheese, pork rinds.
Maybe I'm the only one, but that sounds amazing.
We're talking about snacks, so crunchy.
It puts those pretentious chips and pretzels to shame.
Let's face it, chips and pretzels.
You have been bench.
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dash foundation dot org kate i know i'm just sitting here looking at it right now what now
yes or no question did beve get forcibly removed from best by with our son yes what was it's fine
beef
what
where's
fuck town the best
five bucks on
I probably have to go
we're trying to return to TV
we're trying to return to TV
I just read his full explanation
let me explain yesterday
beautiful day NFL Sunday
didn't have a TV to watch the games outside
all the kids were playing outside
I said you know what let me go to goodwill
went to goodwill no TVs
I had no idea
I knew this. Check Salvation Army
online. Price of a TV at Salvation
Army, roughly the cost of a TV
from Best Buy, you know, the cheapest one.
So I'm like, you know, I got the kids with me,
I can't go to Best Buy, F it,
let me door dash your TV. I'll be the hero
of my little call to sign. I had no idea
he's doing that. Gets here, it's broken. Bam,
doesn't turn on. Screens cracked. Okay.
Bummer, whatever.
Commanders lose.
They tie. They tie. The kids are home from
school, Indigenous People's Day.
So I'm like, all, let me run over,
and return this TV.
So I get on DoorDash first.
And I say, what do I do?
They say, go return the TV to Best Buy.
Cool.
I go over to Best Buy.
Wait in line.
Hey, TV showed up broken from DoorDash.
What's the situation?
The woman at customer service radio is their manager says,
hey, TV showed up, broken up DoorDash.
Guy says, oh, that's a DoorDash issue.
I said, really?
They said, yeah, absolutely.
I said, I understand, okay, let me talk to DoorDash first
because I don't want to leave.
I already came all the way out here to Best Buy.
I don't want to leave without figuring out what the situation is.
I think you guys are going to take the return, but you're telling me you're not right now, so hold on.
So I start chatting with DoorDash.
I step aside of the line.
My two-year-old is with me.
He's hitting me.
He's angry.
It's nap time.
He wants a treat.
He keeps punching me in the legs and the testicles.
Anyway, I can handle it.
I'm a dad.
No big deal.
But I'm chat with DoorDash.
DoorDash says, hey, can you send me a photograph to prove that you attempted to make this return?
Like, sure.
So I take three photographs.
One of the TV in front of the return employee, one of me.
here are the photographs.
I'm sitting there chatting.
I'm stepped out of line.
Let's figure this out.
What's the situation?
Security comes up to me.
Blue Star Security, X-Cop.
Sir, you need to leave immediately.
What?
I need to leave immediately.
I mean, what are you talking about?
You took a picture of our employees, sir.
You need to leave immediately.
I said, I turned my phone around and said, look, man,
I'm talking to DoorDash right now.
Look, talking to DoorDash.
They're asking me for photographs.
That's the photograph I sent.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Sir, you need to leave.
Where does it say that I can't take a picture of your employee?
It doesn't say it anywhere.
Sir, you need to leave.
I've done this rig and roll with cops before.
There's no talking to this guy.
I said the cop told me, I'm sorry, the security guard who's an ex-cop,
told me that the manager wanted me out.
Power trip, man.
No one wanted to listen to me.
It's BS.
Kick me out.
I'm standing in front of the Best Buy with a broken TV and a crying two-year-old.
And I got no solution.
What do I do here?
This guy's on a Power Trip.
The manager of Best Buy Bucktown and the Blue Star Security Guard.
You're going to have a power.
Are you going to solve it?
Let's deal with it.
Let's see what the Internet thinks.
Now, the problem is once he hones in on something like this
I'm trying to make a return in your store.
This is going to be his whole life.
This will become his whole life.
To take down Best Buy.
This is like when somebody reclined in their airline seat and cracked his laptop
and it like took him over for a year.
This full like...
You lost you for a year?
It just consumed these little things.
Not this is a little thing.
Also, he was out in the driveway.
He has a crappy garage TV that they, I don't know what happened.
You want to order a TV for the cul-de-sac?
We have a jambi.
Giant shared driveway with like 15 other families,
and all the dad sit in their beach chairs,
normally watching games on our shitty TV
while the kids ride around,
and I guess it put the shitty TV broke.
I didn't know we door dashed the TV yesterday.
He said he went out to the grocery store with the kids yesterday.
I guess he was at Pest Buy.
I don't know.
It's a mystery.
Okay.
The be.
He's going to be on one.
I had Twitter open when he was doing the ad,
and I just saw your face just, I knew up.
Exactly what you were watching.
Son of a.
I'm firmly on his side.
I'm on his side as well.
I feel bad for him.
That's frustrating.
Best five better watch out.
I just told my skull fuck.
Thanks, Big Cat.
I got it.
Phew.
I better get involved.
Okay.
Good show everyone.
Oh, I got a text from Dave.
Shout out.
Let me get this right.
Dina.
She's watching the act right now with her husband.
She's fighting cancer.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out Dina.
Dina.
You got it, Dina.
Keep fighting.
Thank you so much for watching.
Hope you enjoyed us fighting over cheese.
And what, oh, and the ventriloquist, what a show.
What a show.
Dina, you think you have problems, our Best Buy TV.
Yeah.
It's cracked.
You come for the stamp discourse.
You stay for the ventriloquist.
That's what we always say with the act.
But yes, shout out Dina.
Thank you for watching and keep fighting.
Yes.
And we'll see everyone tomorrow.
No wheel, which is really sad.
Yeah, Brandon Walker killed the wheel.
Oh, it completely.
I can't say spin it anymore.
Oh, I thought we were just taking off wet and add, oh, wow.
We could.
I would like to, but Brandon do other stuff other than what.
I agree.
Brandon's going to make a fucking hissy fit.
Yeah, you're right.
Damn.
We can discuss it tomorrow.
What's another body sensation other than wet that we can have on a sliver?
Everyone sent, send ideas to Che and we'll discuss tomorrow and come up with a new wheel.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, what happens if you hit wheel reset, TJ?
And we got to find something new to put on?
No, but what happens?
Can you just hit?
Is it just a real reset?
No, just the same thing.
Does the wet come back?
Does the wet come back?
Might.
Oh, I hope not.
All right, we'll figure it out tomorrow.
Send it to Che and he'll compile the best ones.
Love you guys.
Shout out cheese.
See tomorrow.
Thank you.
