The Yak - Across the Kyle-Verse: We're Assembling KB Doppelgangers | The Yak 5-22-24

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Uncle DougYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. Roback. Roback. Roback.com. Do it. What's the address?

I forget. Roback.com. That's right. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Hoodies, crewnecks, joggers. These are the joggers right here. Shorts. It's summertime, right?

Shorts. All that stuff. All the most masculine. They got Q-Zips. Polos, Q-Zips, I believe, Kate. That's a good point. Roback.com. 20% off. Use code YAK.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Wednesday. Welcome to Wednesday. Hump Day. Big Cat tried to sell us that Wednesday is an elite day. Yeah, and then he didn't show up for the very next Wednesday. Very next Wednesday. Very next Wednesday he's out.

Well, he might be having an elite day right now. He's not here. Could be. Yeah, but is it an elite day if he's not sharing it with us? Yes. It might be a better day. Probably a better day. I'm taking the episode off today.

I'm just going to sit. Okay, cool. I think it's the best way to be successful yeah by all means you're just gonna sit there and do nothing yeah i think so okay probably a strong move um my uh my uncle doug just arrived i heard that i heard he looks just like an uncle doug i'm looking at him right now he is the most uncle doug looking you're looking at him right now. He is the most Uncle Doug looking. You're looking at him in person? Yeah, he's sitting in the- I'm seeing him on camera right now. He's sitting in the Mostly Sports studio.

Can you take a gander? I don't know if we want to do- Do we want to spoil? He'll be on the show tomorrow, but his look is- Is his look that profound? I'm out tomorrow. Due to moving, I need to see him now. When he got out of the cab, I was like,

I can't believe that's how you showed up. Well, you said yesterday, he asked you, should I get a haircut? And you said, no, just come as you are. Yeah. You regret saying come as you are? A little bit. I do. You want to do the review?

Is it more clothes or natural features? I think it is the entire thing. The whole aura. Is it like a general h thing. The whole aura. Like a general hick? The whole package. I wouldn't call him a hick because I know him, but if you saw him for the first time, you might say that. I'm from West Virginia.

Redneck? Hillbilly? He lives in Alabama now, which is more hillbilly than redneck. Mississippi's more redneck. Alabama's more hillbilly. Alabama is a cross-section between redneck and hillbilly, but North Alabama is certainly more hillbilly. Which has the worst connotation? I think hillbilly does.

I do too. I do too. Oh, absolutely. It implies stupid. I think Jeff Foxworthy kind of took a little bit of the smoke off redneck for a while, even though that was 30 years ago. Hillbillies never really had a good preparation put to it. Do you ever take offense to either of those words?

No. No. No. It's not like a slur. He's not a hillbilly. No. Even from where I'm from, I'm just not. Okay. Yeah. I do okay. And I don't have a deep southern accent either. True. Everybody says that's crazy, but trust me, I don't.

Comparatively, I don't.atively i don't but anyway he's he's the folks back home think you sound like a yankee um they do question me when i get home they think you're gay they definitely they think i'm michael donnie thinks i'm voting for biden and i'm driving and i'm trying to flip every state he he thinks when i come home i'm gonna drive a bike vote for biden sticker and stake in his yard you have a big city haircut yeah i have a big city guy now but uh yeah so i guess i can be on the show tomorrow if y'all want to do the reveal tj if you have just i want to watch him his action oh that lived up oh he's the man oh i love it yeah there he. I want to go sit on his lap. He's so perfect. Everything about that shot is perfect.

Chick-fil-A bag, Harley Davidson shirt, camo pants. Glasses on the head. The one arm up, he's casual already. Comfortable. He's in a new place and he's already been at his home. He's not. Brandon, that's you in 20 years. I know.

That looks just like you. I know. Well, he's a lot shorter than me, but yeah, there's not. Brandon, that's you in 20 years. I know. That looks just like you. I know. Well, he's a lot shorter than me, but he, yeah, that's it. There he is. Most north he's ever been. So what are you going to do? Well, we're just going to go to Wrigley tonight. I don't know.

I kind of want to ask him to change his clothes for me. No. No. That's a nice yellow. Yeah, so we're going to Wrigley tonight and tomorrow, and then we're going to go home and go fishing the rest of the time. I know exactly what he smells like. Yeah, you do.

You absolutely do. It's not bad. I don't want that. When the taxi got here. It just smells like man. I saw the taxi coming, so I went outside, and it took him probably 25 minutes to pay the guy. He's on the move. And not only he paid him, and then took him probably 25 minutes to pay the guy. He was on the move.

And not only he paid him, and then he got the cab driver's number because they had been talking the whole time. So I think he's already made a friend. Good. Yeah. And there he is. I don't know where he's going now. I think Caitlin was in there with him,

so she's in charge of Uncle Doug for right now. Damn, that's exciting. Yeah. When he pulled into the city, any reaction? Traffic. I knew he would. He said, I don't know how you live like this.

Are you nervous, Brandon? I am quite nervous. I can sense that. I can sense a little... Oh, he thinks you're a fairy. Are you nervous? He's saying a different word. He might be Ubering back to the area after seeing that. No, he thinks you're a fairy. He's saying a different word. He might be Ubering back to the area after seeing that. No, he couldn't Uber.

He had to get a taxi. I couldn't get him to download the Uber app. Are you more nervous that society will point and laugh at your uncle, or are you more nervous that your uncle will point and laugh at you for the life you live? I'm far more nervous my uncle will take tales of me back to Alabama and Mississippi than I am for... TJ, is there a mic in there?

Yeah, I wouldn't put that mic on. Can we send Kyle in and just be like, hey, they're doing vaccinations in the lobby if anybody wants to. Yeah, I'll do that. Oh, no. Oh, boy. That's going to Facebook. I'll do that. Oh, no. Oh, boy. What's he doing?

That's going to Facebook. That's going to my phone. Right back home. All green group chat. What is that painting? That's just TJ got it for Christmas for us. But you're a busty maiden. Me and Mark Titus on the.

Oh, you're queer. Oh, you and Mark Titus. You and Mark Titus. Oh, dude. He's going to. Jamie Lannister and Brianna Tarth. Yeah. All right.

Now I can't. What's he doing now? I can't. Yeah, I'm fine with just keeping it on him. Nah, because we got to talk about gay blonde Browns Kyle. Oh, that too. Yeah. Say again? There's gay blonde browns. Oh, whoa.

Shut the fuck up. That is gay blonde browns. Shut the fuck up. Somebody sent that into us. Shut the fuck up. That's all I could see when I closed my eyes. Look at gay blonde browns go. Yeah, I'm going to have.

Look at that. What? What the fuck? Yeah. Kyle, is there something you want to tell us? What the hell, man? Oh, he's confident. That's not you?

I thought that was me. That's insane. That might be you, dude. I haven't stopped there. That is just. He might not be gay. Oh, buddy. He's like a Keith Urban type of dude.

Where you went to college suggests you would have gone to a Browns game. Is that you, dude? That might be you. And you just don't remember. He's just like me. It is jarring wow somebody sent like and he's holding him like a man it's a manly way it's pouring right in the mouth no he just saw the camera one at a time he got real freaked out by it let's see if I can get him again. He saw the camera move. Oh, yeah. Am I about to get drone strapped?

Oh, hell yes. Oh. Is he going to be on Mostly tomorrow? I want him to punch it. I don't know. Oh, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like this. Oh, he doesn't like it. All right, TJ, settle down.

Settle down, TJ. He's getting excitable. Oh, no. TJ, settle down. TJ. You're going to hypnotize him. Oh, my God. So you can imagine my concentration level right now with that sitting in the other room.

And wait, back to gay blonde browns, Kyle. Yes, of course. Who sent this in and did they have any- Somebody sent it into the anus account. Did they have any info, any extra info with it? I don't think so, but they did block out the girls' faces so that maybe they know. Right. Uh-huh.

Gay blonde brown, Kyle. Is that- that's not real hair, is it? No, right? It didn't look campy. That's a wig. That's a wig. No man is that bold. The eyebrows and the facial hair.

That's Kyle. That is Kyle. That's Kyle. Completely Kyle. That's Kyle in a wig. You wouldn't wear a fit that bold, would you? Is it Photoshopped? He would for effect, right?

He's worn bold things before um wait tj can you do the face overlay thing i want to see if there's any difference is it you man i don't do the the chin like that what do you? He only does a little bit of chin. Oh, man. Dude. That almost. Oh, my God. Yeah.

You're not very good at this. No, this is hard. Well, the face is a little smaller than Kyle's face. It's getting there. Not much difference oh well damn yeah there it is that was my evening looking at that all right anybody got something that can stand up to gay blonde browns kyle no no between that and uncle doug i feel like we all have a gay blonde Browns version of us out there.

Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. For sure. If not Browns, at least an NFL team. I feel like mine's a Seahawks guy. Yeah, I do too. Gay blonde Seahawks, Brandon. It's really just finding your team where your gay guy is.

Yeah, everybody has a gay. Titus, yours is like dolphins, maybe bucks. No. Yours is just Stephen Jay. Kate, what was yours be? Just Trevor Lawrence? Yes. Larry Bird.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Trevor Lawrence, Larry Bird, and fights. Lawrence Larry Bird and fights and fights combined and yeah yeah and our buddy Aiden as well oh yeah Aiden said he gets gets it every once in a while a comic you really yeah it's what gets Kate he looks like Kate it looks exactly like well I gotta see Aiden I get tagged in a doppelganger every single day and it's never Nick does the most though I think it's a glass's beard and that's oh that's nick but che sent a message to our group that he uh the bracket group that he found a rudy doppelganger and che is really bad at doppelgangers it doesn't

look anything shocking the chase bad at doppelgangers yeah it doesn't look anything oh like on his vacation out in the wild yeah i think he was wasted i can see tj it was bad any follow-up about the pool situation from him he has not i'm assuming we haven't heard i don't think we've heard from him oh he's fine yeah he's he's still doing handstands in the pool sure just diarrhea handstands so i'll probably diarrhea handstand i'll secure that at later time to do good band name yeah yeah go ahead and message it to that crew. TJ, can you look up the definition of good to show Kate? How's that band?

What's a matter? Matter Baby. Matter Baby. Matter Baby. Yeah. They all killed themselves, right? They did. Yeah.

It wasn't good. Cancer. They killed themselves with cancer. Hitler Cancer is what that was how would you do it brandon kill myself yeah i say would or will i don't know i i doubt i will i'm all i'm almost certain i won't but i i don't know i'm going in a volcano that'd be sick the airplane guy who stole the airplane i feel like is the coolest one i've ever seen he disrupted very sad i don't want

to disrupt you want to go quietly not the german i think i remember that was that in september oh that was him the barrel roll was insane different different guys titus different guys there were there were a bunch of them i thought she meant db cooper like i don't think he killed himself we don't know what Titus. Different guy. There were a bunch of them. I thought she meant D.B. Cooper at first. I don't think he killed himself. We don't know what happened to him. He's definitely dead, right? I'm a believer.

That's a character flaw of mine. I believe D.B. Cooper. I also believe that everybody that escaped from Alcatraz survived as well and is still alive. Because every time a guy would get out of Alcatraz, they would just say, and he swam away in shark-infested waters, never to be seen again.

With the implication being that he was eaten by sharks. I heard it and I was like, he's on an island. No, that guy. He's thriving. Do you think anyone is actively stuck on an island right now? I would love to think. Doing like an SOS with the rocks? A warmth and comfort.

Like a castaway? You mean like in a good way? In a bad way, in a horrific way. Yeah, probably. Tom Hanks in castaway. Castaway? But he's been alive for a while. Yes.

Like five plus years? Shouldn't we just be able to do like a radar sweep of all the islands, the uninhabited islands, just to see if there's a person there? World's big, Lil Bro. I can't, yeah. I guess the Pacific Ocean is very large. They still have that tribe of people that are like...

Oh yeah. Every once in a while they'll munch on a missionary. Stop going there. Yeah, once every two or three years a missionary thinks they they got the magic sauce those guys are throwing rocks at drones it's like i gotta make those guys catholic why let them be yeah i can fix them yeah yeah i was reading there there's chas doppelganger of rudy what no awful not even close. Sorry, Rudy Clone. Clone. That's a very tastefully decorated restaurant.

Is that rocks? It definitely looks... Oh. I don't... Yeah, I don't... I don't see it. Shock. At all. It doesn't look like him at all.

Not in any way. Not from a distance. Handsome guy. Not even kind of like him. No. No. What if he's down there cheating on his wife and she finds out because she watches the Yak?

Stephen Chay? That guy Oh Oh there's Kyle Oh shit Kyle Who is he? Oh my god Hey where'd you find that one?

Will Sparks just sent me that Oh my god dude Will Sparks make that? I don't think so Damn Wait wasn't there a Barstool shirt with Joel Embiid on it that

looked like me? It was so poorly T.J., do you remember that? No. We had a Joel Embiid crew neck that just looked like darker you.

The funniest doppelganger from that. That was horrible. Every doppelganger that people send me of me is visibly autistic. Really? Yeah, it's always like, this is you. I would have just guessed red hair. Yeah, dude.

That's fine. Yeah, yeah. You got a lot of them out there. I just get Mark Davis all the time That's Yeah Yeah Mark Davis and then I get that

The Bruins hockey player And then Oh just guys with glasses and beards Yeah And hats Sure can't forget that I get a lot I get a ton of

Oh Big Cat I get called Big Cat a lot and Joey Kamaski gets Big Cat too yeah I'm getting better at it I think there's only so many faces or face types for sure

and they're all associated with a certain personality type as well so if you can you can see someone's face and tell what they're going to be like to an extent yeah you can you can see someone's face and tell what they're going to be like to an extent yeah you can judge somebody as soon as you see their face right you could think there are doppelgangers that have polar opposite personalities huh yes

tj i don't know if you could look it up. Did you ever see the project? This guy found these people look like identical twins. Yeah. Like freakishly so. But they're not related in any way. But like we're saying like, oh, it's a doppelganger. It kind of looks like you. These people, I just saw an article. There's like 15 of them where they look so crazy identical in every way that it's unbelievable

that they're not related at all. Yeah. Hold on. Why'd they make him pose like that? I don't know. It's weird. in every way that it's unbelievable that they're not related at all. Yeah, hold on. Why'd they make him pose like that? I don't know. It's weird. That one's okay, but... But there's like a goofy hat and... I hate both of them.

Okay. Come on! Those are pretty goddamn... Why are they all... I don't know why they're touching that way. Touching like... Well, they don't... That's not the same. Okay.

It's like accessories. Yeah, maybe. That's a lot. Oh, I was shocked by this. I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. What is it? Oh my God, those are two... Those are two very different people.

They have the same face, I think. Okay, well, maybe I was wrong. I saw that and I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. Okay. are two very different people i have the same face i think okay well maybe i was wrong i saw that and i was like no i think there's something okay what do you call a front tramp stamp yeah what was that yeah what was that never friend yeah and tramp stamps are back are they gen z is getting a lot of good news kate oh hell yeah do you still wear yours yes i do oh yeah i when you wear it out so sometimes when i first got it i thought that it was like the coolest thing and i remember sitting in class in college and that because low

rise jeans were the thing at the time and i would like hike my shirt up a little bit so people could see i had one i thought what is it a celtic knot it's a c Celtic shamrock. It's the stem points at my ass. Crack. Anyways. Yes, I'm glad they're back. I'm glad to hear that they're back. I was lying. I didn't think they were going to come back. Why would they?

Those are obsolete. What? They're going to die with you. Every once in a while. Who hates you? Damn it. Please. Ouch. That's what you get for Mothers Day.

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Kate, I didn't give you enough shit for that. I know. Those cheese puffs. Three was too much. It was too much. The whole thing was too much.

I gotta reiterate, that was the most pain I've ever felt. Which I'm a lucky boy if that's the case, but most physical pain I've ever felt. I was sprawled out on the stall. Sorry about that. What do you mean sprawled out on the floor? You know when you're in so much pain that you just have to lay down on the bathroom

floor and just wince? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. What are you going to do for Father's Day? Fat hers? Fat hers. Ladies, if you're over 300 pounds in the

Chicagoland area. Long list. Let me know. I don't know. I don't know. What? I don't see them too often. They're not active. We're talking about fathers or fat hers?

Fat hers. No, they're active. Yeah? Yeah, with you. I've been talking to a couple. Kick it on the right apps. Nope. They're there.

Which app? Grubhub? Jay you started this Verified on Grubhub Trending on Grubhub Trending on Grubhub She had the blue check Sending roses but you send chocolates

Oh my god Speaking of going viral You want to rip that band-aid off? blue check. Sending roses, but you send chocolates. Oh my god. Speaking of going viral, you want to rip that band-aid off? No. Well, that's why it's ripping a band-aid off. Can we set a time for 30 seconds? I'm not going to.

A million views is just people who maybe scroll past it. It just has to be on a million timeline. It was an algorithm thing. So if somebody with a million followers retweets it, then it's going to get it. But none of us have a million followers here. Yeah. Big Cat does.

He promised he wouldn't retweet. I retweeted it because Mincy texted me because I forgot to follow him. You definitely didn't. Forgot. For three years. Wait, he noticed that and texted you? I followed him back because I wanted to see how it was doing. And he texted me and said if I retweet it, we're cool.

What would be the drawback if you weren't cool? Shit. I do want to see where this goes. No, I'm fine. I want to see how it... Extort all of us. Yeah. I want to see how it... Yeah. Extort all of us. Yeah. Retweet.

What's he... Yeah. He's doing something during the act today. Or at least he texted you. All he's doing is... He texted me and Connor and Big Cat going to be at FanFest during the act. Do you want me to just send you the videos or post them?

What does that mean? Well, he has to go viral, so he has to post them. Tell him to post. Yeah, tell him just or post them. What does that mean? He has to go viral, so he has to post them. Tell him to post them if they're worth looking at. We will. He's going to keep doing it. I told y'all last night I think he's going to start a streak. I think this is going to go forever.

He's got people who want him to win. I think it's going to go forever. I think he's going to get to the point where he just tweets the words this is my viral tweet. Yeah. Million. And then everyone will do it. Million views.

Retweet it. I guess let me see Uncle Doug again. Yeah. Just make sure everything's all right. He's been wandering. I don't know if you can see him. Is he wandering? Yeah, I just saw him.

Oh, no. Oh, I didn't see him. He didn't like that camera. He was mosey. He got spooked. The first person he met when I walked him in was Jerry. Love that. Jerry's first question was, Trump?

And they shook hands. And that's where I left that relationship. I think that just means they're best friends for life now. Rednecks, it takes a while, but rednecks love Jersey dudes. But it takes a while. They have a lot in common ease in they don't do they don't naturally come across each other very often so there's a standoff so confused at first but then they get there's like a charm like a lovable mutual

relationship what what is a redneck in the south exists throughout the country you just might not call them rednecks oh go to the pine barrens of jersey and they're a plenty really rednecks oh boy yes big time four wheelers all over the barrens is actually like a residential area i mean they live in there they're in there but it's like is that like a region yeah it's okay midsection of jersey there's just this like yeah 10 000 acres of pine trees, and they just live in there amongst the trees. I think they have houses and stuff.

It's debatable. Every now and then, you're riding on the highway, and you look in, and you just see a dirt bike or a four-wheeler go by, and they're in there. You know what I'm talking about. And the kids are outside in nothing but underwear. Yep. The kids are always half naked. It's crazy.

I never thought of a Jersey. There's a fire going on. Anthony Bourdain, I think, went in there. Yeah? And was meddling around. Yep. The kids are always half naked. I never thought of a jersey. There's a fire going on. Anthony Bourdain, I think, went in there. Yeah? And was meddling around, yeah. It's a shame he's dead. Yeah. He's amazing.

He provided some great entertainment. Yeah, I liked him a lot. You know, Conan just ripped him off. He's got a travel series now. I don't think... He didn't rip him off. What does that mean? Everyone has a travel series.

I love the show. I just... It's blatant. It's the exact same thing. How is it the exact same thing? Is Anthony Bourdain in his? I'm not sure why y'all took such great offense. I like Conan. I love Conan.

He's one of my five favorites. Five favorites what? He just took the Bourdain model and is doing that again. We're asking you to describe the Bourdain model. What's the model? What's the model? You go to a place. You do about four or five skits.

You have dinner with somebody famous there, and you put it out on TV. That's the exact same. He's doing the exact same. That sounds like a travel show. No, isn't he visiting the gas station? Okay, let me start over. Okay. I'll fight you.

If he does the same exact. I'm fine with that, because I think it's personality. Bourdain did a travel show. Conan's doing one exactly like Bourdain. It's good. What's exactly. Did you watch it's doing one exactly like bourdain it's good what's exactly did you watch it i don't like why in the fuck is this a problem did you actually watch it yeah i watched the argentina false accusations at a guy who conan's great team to be creative a creative genius i love arguing that he is i love conan he has picked up the bourdain formula to great effect his new show show, which I don't even know what it's, I think I watched it on Max maybe. His new show is he's traveling to a different country every show.

And he's doing a show about that country. You're just saying that because you're on a brand new show of a bunch of dudes sitting around talking. And that's never been done before. So you feel an original. Yeah. Why are y'all mad? I'll stab you. Because you said Conan O'Brien, again, a man that we all

look up to as a creative genius, you said that he was ripping off Anthony Bourdain, and we took exception to that. We're pretty furious. It's a pretty straightforward reason why we're not. I think it's just a genre. Yeah. That's fine. Had you said Conan O'Brien's show is a nice homage to Anthony Bourdain, I think it's a little soft. I would have still been ticked.

Have you watched it? Yes. It's a travel show. He travels. He talks about the. Have you watched it? Yes. It's a travel show. He travels. He talks about the shit. Yeah, it feels similar, but it's in the same way. To Kate's point, this show probably feels similar to a lot of shit out there. The View. Name three.

Yeah, The View. We are ripping off The View. The View. Got that. The View. The Talk. The Talk. And Jackass.

Yeah. Yeah. A little bit of Jackass in there. A little bit. Yeah. A little bit. The talk. The talk. And Jackass. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit of Jackass in there. A little bit. Yeah. A little bit. The bad parts. Oh.

All right. So no more Conan. No. No. Back the fuck off. That's the one thing. Conan's great. I love Conan.

He's one of my favorites. What are your five favorites? Bobby Heenan, Johnny Carson, Conan O'Brien. Yeah. The Rock, and probably Mariah Carey. Wow. Yeah.

Does Boyz II Men count as a person? Yeah. Yes. Well, that's one person. Yeah. Then there you go. Do you know any

individual members of Boyz II Men's names? Wanya Morris, Nate Morris, Sean Stockman, and then Michael, who is no longer with the group oh no yes i can't remember what mike's name was the last name but he was the base but sean

one day and nate are still going strong they're in chicago in june if y'all'd like to go might be august one of the months of the summer at the mall once i spun the wheel the radio station was there to win something i won the boys to II Men CD, and then I went home, ran my boombox in the driveway, and I danced to them with my ribbon dancer. I listened to more All For One when it came to R&B groups with a number in the middle. Like what? First of all, All For One had that one big one hit,

and that guy's voice was so deep. They had two songs. What was their hit? I Swear. All For One? Was All For One I Swear? Yeah. I thought that was Boyz II Men.

No. All for One was I Swear and I Can Love You Like That. And then they had So Much in Love. That was their three hits. I think you were just saying that. No, there's one All for One song I really like. And the guy's got a real deep voice. I think you're right.

And I swear. Yeah. They just ripped off the John Michael Montgomery catalog. Down to the last drop. What? Probably means a drink. That's about cum. Oh, my God. I don't even have a drop left.

Sorry, that's my last drop. Boop. Making a sound effect another doppelganger I'll be damned he's back in there I don't know what he's doing with his phone I guess he's

he can text I know that he's got big meaty hands yeah look at the mitts on that guy oh yeah he's a he's a specimen what was his

what was his trade I don't think he ever settled on a career Oh, yeah, he's a specimen. What was his trade? I don't think he ever settled on a career. He would just do jobs. He was a brick salesman for a while. He sold brick. Everybody knows him. Sold brick.

Yeah, sold brick to home builders. He does that, yeah. You know, when they were building all these subdivisions and whatnot and new houses he would i think he did very well and i think now he just goes um he just he just lives in alabama and goes to uh goes to his nephew's football games we have a cousin that plays football uh and he just goes to this goes to that not to ask obviously for me is he single um no no he's not's not. Who's he married to? His wife. What's her name? Aunt whom?

Aunt Sherry. How'd they meet? How long have they been together? They got married about 20 years ago. Wow. Okay. Yeah, yeah. First wife?

Only wife, yeah. No kids. Really? Yeah. That's the life. Uncle Doug and Aunt Sherry. Just living. You regret having kids, Brandon?

Not at all, no. Good. No no no no not even a little bit sometimes i regret having so many of them okay they're not one in particular no no no but but sometimes it's overwhelming like if it would be that would fall in onto the fourth one no because the youngest is your favorite i thought no the third one's my favorite. Oh. And the girl. But sometimes when I just- Wait, is it just Tommy? If I just want to go to a movie, right? If I had one kid, the three of us go to a movie, we have a nice time. It's easy. When you have to take six people to a movie or six people to dinner, getting a dinner

for six and getting a dinner for three is way different. It's a field trip. Everything's a field trip. Does everything end in some sort of spat? Everything ends in a spat. We have certain permutations of kids that can't sit together. You know, Tommy and the eight-year-old can't sit together. Tommy and the girl can't sit together.

Tommy and the 11-year-old can't sit together. Tommy and the neighbor's kid can't sit together. Tommy and my wife can't sit together. That and the neighbor's kid can't sit together. Tommy and my wife can't sit together. That's like an IQ problem. Who can fit? Tommy just runs. Tommy lives life differently than the rest of us. Tell me if you do this because my family did it,

and I can see your family doing the same. Everything was a quiz show or a game. So my wife does that with him. My wife does it. I don't really really that's the person we all know yeah uh here's a just a grant here let's do trivia they'll do the alphabet game they'll do like while you're in the car like on yeah my wife's a huge i spy person oh yeah yeah huge i spy person and it drives me fucking crazy uh because i'm a sit and not talk to anybody for hours guy i i love that though what i spy no no no sitting and not talking for hours yeah no i that's especially when i'm driving i'm a sit and not talk for hours guy and they're all doing i spy and stuff like that they'll also

play games together like i don't really participate in the board games as much because i'm i'm working so much but they they play life a lot they They play Monopoly a lot. There was a Monopoly game that went on all Saturday. That's wonderful and healthy. They play Uno a lot. Uno will result in fucking fights. When it gets competitive, that's

the fun of it. I think there's been blows thrown over Uno in my house. Isn't Tommy playing Find the Mook right now? No. So Tommy found – I had Tommy help me out cleaning my Jeep a couple weeks ago, and he found the picture, the framed picture that you gave me.

My seduction. The seduction picture. Yeah. And he thinks it's hilarious. It is funny. It is. Target demo, right? And one night it was just down in the man cave, and I thought that's hilarious it is funny it is target demo right and one night it

was just down in the man cave and i thought that's where it was going to stay and then yesterday i'm going up the steps and i have a spiral staircase yeah and you can't really you can't see the top from when you start so so i turn the corner and you're just looking dead in my eyes and that picture's all face he put it's all. He put it at the top of the stairs. He just puts it in random places. I love that. He thinks it's hilarious. I'm happy to be in your home.

Yeah. Yeah. We can talk about that later. It sounds like you have a beautiful life going on. It does. I think my family does, yeah. You're not. I do what I can.

Yeah. There we go with Mook at the top of the stairs. That's going to jump scare someone one day. Me right now. I jump scared you twice yesterday in the stairwell. Yeah, I just opened the door. Yeah. Yeah.

Hell yeah. So there we go. That's what Tommy did. Do you ever worry that the lessons you're teaching your kids today will be obsolete by the time they can apply them to their everyday life? I am now. Wow. I am now. They know cursive?

Cursing. They know cursing. I'm sitting there last night. Tommy's talking on the internet to somebody. He just called him a son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. Tommy no cunt yet? Son of a bitch, yeah. Son of a bitch is a good curse word, though. Yeah. a bitch, yeah. Son of a bitch is a good cuss word, though.

Yeah. But he doesn't, I don't think he knows cunt. I learned that at like 18. Really? Yeah. Yeah, cunt. I was late to cunt, too. I was late to cunt.

Everything I do in my adult life didn't exist when I was 12. Liar. Podcasts. Yeah. YouTube live shows. Ubering to work. Yeah, this is what I ask the question. That's the entirety of my day.

All things that didn't exist when I was a kid and I was thinking about what I wanted to do. I wake up on a memory foam mattress. Everything's different. Yeah. You ever worry about that, Brandon? The things you're telling them, like, when you guys get to be adults, the world will be this way, so you need to learn how to do this. And then actually, in reality, by the time they become that age, they won't be prepared at all because the world has changed so much.

There are times when I worry he's, like, doing computer stuff too much and being too online and all that. And then I kind of realize it's probably going to help him. Unless it reverts. Unless it reverts, but it's not going to revert. Why not? Too much money in it, right? Yeah. But, like, it's not going to help him. Unless it reverts. Unless it reverts, but it's not going to revert. Why not? Too much money in it, right? Yeah.

But it's not going to be people doing it. Okay, yeah, we're just going to stop listening to Wake Up Mincy in the morning? We're just going to stop listening to the podcast? That's a good point. That's a damn good point, yeah. We're here now. We've arrived. We've got it.

Mine was treat others as you would like to be treated. That's the golden rule. It's the golden rule, but... That's yours specifically? It doesn't work. Oh, no. No. It doesn't work at all.

It could work. Theoretically, it works. I should have just been more of a dickhead. You know what I mean? I should have rebelled. How would that have improved your life? Would that have improved your life? It would have been a different path, for sure.

Because it didn't work. But were you overly nice and generous i was always a mannered polite kid like were you like the type to befriend the outcasts yes oh yeah kate did you do it because you wanted to or did you do it too because you were afraid of god it was it was the god thing okay are there situations in your life where you wish that you replay in your mind, I wish I'd been more of a dickhead in that moment? Yes. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Instead of giving the benefit of the doubt, just being an asshole, being like, eh, I don't really care about this. I guess being an asshole does have its benefits. I think it works. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I don't think being an asshole, I think like being cold. Don't even have the chance to be an asshole does have its benefits. I think it works. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think being an asshole. I think like being cold. Don't even have the chance to be an asshole. Right. I think it's an asshole. No, I've been cold as of late and I love it. I'll rethink the small, like I'll have an interaction with a cashier and if I feel like I said something that was dumb, I'll like replay it in my head for a month.

Oh, yeah. I'll like go over there. I'm like, was that rude? The way I, way i whatever they don't understand maybe i should go back and go back and say sorry like lunatic stuff but you acknowledge that that is insane oh big time okay yeah yeah but i won't stop do you like try to tell yourself you don't feel anything that doesn't matter uh i've started trying to tell myself that my brain is not like your thoughts are not like real is that bad?

don't listen to that thing in your head Mincy texts Connor Griffin that he has a super banger coming super banger we can't just ignore super banger got one more super banger had two great ones and three okay so is he in his head thinks that the last night's was...

That was a super... Like it was also a great video. I have to say I didn't watch it. I like saw it. I saw people interacting, but I couldn't bring myself. It made me anxious looking at it. So I actually haven't seen that video. I even replied to a tweet about it, but I didn't watch it.

Yeah. Is it that he goes...'t, I didn't watch it. Uh, yeah. Is it that he goes, he's going to get a million. He's going to, he's going to be on the road as long as he wants to. Yeah. He pretended like he tried to pretend to be like a hard ask who was confronting this Vandy Whistler.

Okay. Immediately dissolved. Okay. It was like when the two kids at lunch in high school, like went up to each other and like kind of like sniffed each other and kind of sniffed each other and feeling each other out and they were like, oh, we're boys. Do you think they talked first about what they were going to do in the video and then they did it? You could tell he did it

you know, for the moment. Connor says he just he just followed up and said do you want decent ones too or just viral? Wait, does he have them? He's categorized. I'm going just post them all one big dump did he post them i get i can't tell which ones are the attempted virals i guess this one where he races a little kid oh no oh god all right what's up all right

i'm racing i have no idea what i'm doing. Check this thing out. I got to climb through obstacles. What's your name? Bennett? Bennett. We're going to race Bennett. It's not been a good state. Got Ole Miss last night, so I'm going to try to get some revenge for the Rebels. I think I'm a pretty big underdog here.

This is going to be something. Unless it's a very silly tumble. All right, you all ready? Three, two, one, go. At least he's not having fun. Oh, he's gonna get stuck. This ain't going well, boys. He's getting lapped.

Haha. Yeah that's two and a half more years. That's gonna do two and a half more years. That's a super banger. Brandon do you tell your kids hard work and effort pays off yeah i'm lying to him yep all right god damn it how's doug he's okay he was on the move he's back never mind i think he think he's procured free merch. Oh, nice. Yeah, I think he was

on the move to get some merch. That's not a man that buys clothes. No, that man hasn't bought clothes in a long time. I bet he relaxes on the front porch like a motherfucker. Oh, yeah. Do you have a frosted mug? He's got a hand for a frosted mug. He is an elite

relaxer. I bet. Yeah. Elite relaxer. He sets a mood. You're around him. There's a good, shockingly good golfer. Really? Really good at golf.

I don't think he plays anymore because he's got a little heart trouble. But he's a very good golfer. Good fisherman. Did you show him the simulator? I was going to. He said he wasn't up for it. You should get a fishing simulator. Those certainly exist probably, right?

That would be so cool. How good are they? Probably really good now. Yeah. Every time I go to a Bass Pro Shops, I want to just fish in that tank. Like I said, everybody does. You could jump in it nude. Put your little penis up against the glass.

Yeah, your little penis. Or you could bring your neighbor. Your ding dong. Small dick. It's a ting dong. Small dick what? Ting dong. Art. Small dick art.

His name is Art. And I don't have his name yet. A third friend may have hit the tower. Oh, wow. I have a new neighbor, him i helped him prune his bushes yesterday i helped him helped him move some what's his name yeah what is he helped prune his bush he pruned his bushes he was working he was working on uh he just bought the house and he's working on the bushes and taking some out and he was planting some more in and he bought a very

heavy tree and he couldn't do it himself so I had to come help lift his tree. But you went and helped him without asking for the name? He asked for my help. He said, hey man, I know you said you were willing to help. I got this one thing. It's not a one man job so I helped him and I don't know his name. You look like you'd

be a damn good man. You didn't get his name? I don't know his name yet. You're not telling us. I don't. Hmm. Well, I told you about Art. He became Small Dick Art. I told you about Don. He became Gay Don. Guess who I haven't talked to in a fucking month?

Don. So you're not getting this guy's name. What's his first name? I don't know it. I don't know it. Come on. Say that you won't call Art Small Dick Art. They cast not here.

He always initiates that. Patriot's there. Hmm? Come on. Who is it? What's his name? I don't know his name. If I knew his name, I would tell you his name.

What adjective are you going to put in front of his name? Is that fucking pedophile Alex that you got? Rude as bushes? When you go home, is there action all around the lake like people in their yards um yeah well especially as the deeper i think in the summer months it's really really really pronounced right now not not as much but there will be there's a lot of kayakers is it like a school dance where you maybe will start to merge slowly? I think so. I think so. It's fun. I know when I first got there, my first weekend of the house was July 4th last year, and it was just a party.

Oh, yeah. That would be awesome. Will you be yakking from your house? Oh, yeah. Yes, soon. I thought we were going to do it in May. We'll have to do it in June or July now, but hopefully I've got the spot. Let me ask you this.

Yes. Why did you tell me? Do you think that these friendships will grow weaker over the winter? No, because me and Art grew stronger over the winter. I think they actually grow stronger over the winter because everybody's out and active and doing their own thing in the summer, whereas the winter we're kind of compressed again. If you want to do something, you've got to make effort,

and that's when me and Art went to Mater's a lot, and we went to Milwaukee and stuff like that. Do you have any bad neighbors? People that are antisocial? I don't think so. I think they're all pretty nice and pretty good, pretty in step with each other. But is there an HOA, or is there unkempt lawns?

No, it's HOA. Little Tykes, Jaunty Jalopy, that hasn't little tykes jaunty jalopy fucking that's all it's all it's all good all taken care of all good nice how many jewish people live in texas and let's see how close you can get what's the total pop i'm gonna say texas is around between 15 and 20 million is that is that a crazy guess is would probably no george is 18 so new york is 20 cali is 40 i think texas is in the middle like 30 so if there are 30 million texans i'm gonna say 250 000 that's what i was gonna say i'm gonna go higher i'll say i'll say 320 I'm going to go higher. I'll say 320.

I'm going to go 100, okay. I'm going to say 1.2 million. $1. Yeah, one Jew. Let me look it up. I don't know. 120. Wow.

Hook. Were you going to revel in that win? No. Is there a city that they're Houston? I would have said Dallas. The Jewish Federation of Greater Houston. So I know that in the really rural southern states, Mississippi, Alabama, there's almost none.

Yeah. In Mississippi, there's probably, out of 3 million people, there's probably 500. Yeah. But I guess in Texas and other places with big cities, there are more. Are you seeing cicadas in your backyard? No, not yet. I can't wait.

I want to hear them. Are they in Mississippi? Yeah, I think they're on the wane down there. They're in the south coming north? Yeah, I think they're almost done in Mississippi. Doug brought some cicadas up with him. Oh, I should ask're on the wane down there. They're in the south coming north? Yeah, I think they're almost done in Mississippi. Doug brought some cicadas up with him. Oh, I should ask him about the cicadas. I don't like the sound, but they're big, man. They're gross.

I keep seeing people drinking them. I'm sorry? Oh, people are putting them in shots. Yeah. For what? But I think it's just the shells. No. It's the husk.

It's a full husk. And they said it adds, I know, the one one there's a brewery doing lobster lobster infused malort cicada infused malort and they say that there's a protein in cicadas that is the same protein that's in lobsters so people who are allergic if you're allergic to shellfish you cannot

eat cicadas but that it adds like a seafood-y like flavor to things the cicadas make it better then it adds like a lobster type flavor to things I Oh, the cicadas make it better? Then it adds like a lobster-type flavor to things. I don't want my drinks to taste like lobster ever. Oh, no, no. But dogs love eating them.

They're safe for dogs. Don't worry. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Your kids, are they going to have fun with them? I don't know. Does he have a fear of bugs or anything? No, my toddler's all about it.

He's like holding all the bugs in his hands and all this. He's always trying to hand them to me and I don't want to give him a fear of bugs so I usually suck it up. I'm like, yeah, wow, that's awesome. A lot of those beach ball bugs right now. Beach ball? Roly-poly? The roly-poly. I always called them beach ball bugs.

But yeah, a lot of roly-poly action happening by our mulch right now. Nice. Exciting. I like a good roly-poly. What's a lightning bug situation? Oh, it's going to be thick. Even in the city? Maybe not in the city, but up where I'm at. Am I misremembering, or are they not endangered,

but are their numbers going down? They might be going down, but I think they're still pretty good. But we're still good? I think so. I remember them as a kid, but not like college. I haven't lived in sticks in a while. I just remember last summer when we got here, one of our activities was just going out and finding him. It's good to know.

I was at a party where a guy was putting them on his teeth and his teeth were glowing. Yeah, yeah, you could squeeze them. I killed so many bugs as a kid. I feel really bad. So many. Lightning bugs, when you capture them and you put them in your hand and then you let them go they leave an odor yes they do like a very thick odor that's not pleasant he was putting them on his teeth a guy he was trying to impress the ladies i think did it work exactly what i would have done shocking yeah no but no it didn't work i don't think

that had to have been at uh kutztown it was in delco delco yeah i love the fourth of july party i love catching a good lightning bug. And then they get a little too high and you jump and you're just out of reach. I had a little mesh house that I would keep them in. A mesh house? I never had a mesh house. A little wooden circle door that would rotate around. Yep.

Did you have to go grow caterpillars in school and then release them? Yes. Yes. I had the worst thing happen to mine. Sorry if I'm story repeating, but everybody got to take the cocoon home for like a night and you document blah blah blah i got the weekend and i was like this is the weekend it's gonna bust out i was like super excited the class was really excited it was fifth grade i get home and it starts something's happening something's like coming out of the cocoon and this like long like mucus string and i was like that's not a butterfly like what the hell

i guess a fly had injected a larva into the thing and it eaten the cook it had eaten the caterpillar and then so i had to go back to class with a fly in the a fly yeah that can happen and then i was associated with the death of the they can take over butterflies. They can take over butterflies. I can picture animals

are fucked up. Yeah. You see Jeff Goldblum's dick in cocoon in cocoon. Or was he in the fly in a cocoon in the fly.

He was in cocoon. That was that was like Wilbur Brimley in them. Right. You back here. I don't think that was it's a it's a what's that movie about just pubic hair. I didn't think that was a cocoon. What's that movie about?

Cocoon? Yeah. I don't know. Youth? I confused it with The Fly. Growing old or something with youth? Jeff Goldblum shows dick in a movie? I don't know.

He was in The Fly, but I don't know if he shows dick. I've been sending that Goldblum dick pic to everyone. Very few actors show dick in movies. Viggo Mortensen. Shows dick. Jason Segel, right? In a fight scene in the bathhouse. Yeah, he saw his dick.

Jason Biggs. Did we see his dick? Yeah, puts it behind a clear pot lid. Michael Fassbender. Incredible piece. Really? Yeah, it's got an elbow. Is that Ken Jeong's real dick in Hangover? Oh, I don't know.

There's plenty. In HBO shows, we'll just get 30 extras to all show their dicks. HBO shows are like 23% penis. Game of Thrones, all cock. You can't pause a scene without a dick. Being an extra in Righteous Gemstones who just showed your small dick.

That's your portfolio. There's dick in Small Gemstones? Oh, not Small Gemstones. Righteous Gemstones? Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. Oh, yeah. There's a lot, a lot.

Oh, yeah. It's so good. You would love it. How much Rachel? What? HBO just shoehorned dick. It's not Game of Thrones level. Game of Thrones is on another level.

I didn't realize Game of Thrones had dick either. Game of Thrones had a lot of titty, and that's how they got you in. They pull you in with the titty, and then once you're in. It's the lib agenda. They pull the dick out. So they switch you to dick. Yeah, see? Remember that arousal feeling?

Now feel it with this. Yeah. I'm going toal feeling? Now feel it with this. Yeah. I'm going to be voting twice this election. Alright, fuck. Do you want me to bring Uncle Doug in? Yeah, I would like that. Yes, very much so. We'll put him on a time clock and Big Cat can talk to him tomorrow too. Yeah.

I mean, I just feel like he's sitting there. What would he do if I like rubbed his belly? Probably beat the fuck out of you. I would love that. Luke, rub his belly. Yeah, you should rub his belly. Rub his belly.

I'll do it. Should I bring him in here too? Okay, Uncle Doug has already pitched his own show at Barstool to Caitlin. No way. Luke, do the vaccination line. Yeah. We'll just see his reaction. He's talking Caitlin's ear off right now

So for reference This is my mom's brother Okay Mama Oh she texted me last night and I forgot to respond Mama if you're watching I'm sorry I haven't talked to my mom in weeks I've been busy

Alright here's Did he try to dap him? Why are you sitting? I see him No he said it Did he try to dap him? Why are you sitting? Is this what the viewers have to see? I'm sorry, guys. He said the vaccination. Oh, he did the belly! Oh, he didn't like that.

Oh, he's mad. I want to kind of see him beat the shit out of Mook a little bit. Does he carry a gun everywhere in Mississippi? Oh, almost certainly. Yeah. And he lives in Alabama. But, yeah, almost certainly. I don't know that about him, but, yeah, I would think so.

He's always ready to hunt. It wouldn't be like a small... What's he drive? A big truck. Big? Yeah. Wait, mooks? He's crushing it.

I've never seen him do that to somebody. Make him laugh? You've seen him at stand-up comedy shows. Why does he keep touching him? Can we touch my belly again? Stop touching it. It's greedy. Oh, shit.

Uh-oh. Here we go. All right, boys. Uncle Doug. Buckle up. Uncle Doug. I've got to tell him it's a live show. Uncle Doug.

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dot com to find it near you. I haven't tried anyits.com to find it near you. I haven't tried any yet. They're going too fast in the office. What do we think his voice is going to say? Real high-pitched. Hello. Hello, everybody.

Hi. Hey. Nice to meet you. Keep asleep. No, hi. How are you? Hello. Nice to meet you guys.

I'm Kate. You're Kate? Yes. He smells amazing. Yes, sir. I'm Mark. You're Kate? Yes. He smells amazing. Yes, sir. I'm Mark. Yep. KB.

Nice. KB. Nice to meet you. Uncle Doug. Uncle Doug. Have a seat. Have a seat. Welcome.

Oh, boy. I appreciate y'all letting me come in here. Of course. Thanks for coming on the show. Put those headphones on. I need the headphones. Just do the mic. Get it right up next to your face.

There we go. Have you ever been on a podcast? No, I have not. Welcome. Never. Never seen one. Never even seen one? No.

Never seen one. Yeah? Never watched any videos of him? No, I'm not tech savvy. I've seen you with a phone. What is the perception of what Brandon does for a living? Not much. That's my perception.

Do you think it's good, honest work? I can't believe that the money flows doing what y'all do. But we were just talking about it. Thank you. It doesn't for some of us. Oh, it's just okay. Limited people. Well, it would be good to be that person then.

So this is the first time you've ever been to Chicago, right? It is. First time north of where? Lexington, Kentucky. Wow. So first time north of where uh lexington kentucky wow so first time out of the south yeah first impressions lots of traffic lots of traffic that's the only thing i've seen so much it's borderline i don't know how far away from the airport uh we're i don't know we're probably 20 miles but it probably took you what an? Hour. Yeah. We might just be like 15 miles. I don't know.

But that's a particularly tough ride from the airport to here. It was lots of traffic. It's not that bad all the time. It's just in the daytime and nighttime. Well, that's all the time. Well, not really. There's nights. There's midnights.

Okay. What are you wanting to do while you're here? I'm just going to chill out with him. All right. Do what he says to do. Go to Wrigley Field. That's kind of a bucket list. You got to do that.

Absolutely. And that's really it. That's it. We're going to do a little fishing. Yeah. What's your ideal night? If you're taking a load off after work, what do you get into? I'll sit at home and watch watch tv are you a porch guy inside

on the living room a little both i might kill a little time out in the yard not gonna hurt myself and then i'm gonna go in and have some supper and hit the bottle at all or no we'll have maybe a cold beer every now and then a couple beers yeah what was brandon like as a kid? Did you spend a lot of time around him? Was he obnoxious? Was he fun? Flamboyant. He was born into a family, and I was too. Yeah. Not really coordinated.

Oh. Got it. Oh, no. Knocked me, fallen all over the place. I mean, I was the same way. So not athletic, but he was a – Well, now, he could shoot the eyes out of basketball from the time he was, I mean, could. He could do that.

But like when he played Little League baseball, he would hit it, and he looked like he was trying to run so hard, and he was just barely moving. Yeah. He was climbing his arms. Running in a dream. Yeah. And that's, I mean, I'm not making fun of you.

Was he a good student? Slow as can be. He was naturally smart. I don't think he applied himself a whole lot in the academics. Did we ever worry about him in one way or another? Was there ever a moment where we were like, I'm worried about Brandon for X, Y, Z? No.

We knew he was on the straight and narrow. He wrecked about 16 cars. Yeah. Were you speeding? Yeah. Were you racing? Yeah. Were you drunk?

No. I don't think he ever was a drinker much. If he did, he hit it. No, I don't. I was skipping school one time. I told him about the car. Was it your car? It was Mama's it. No, I don't. I was skipping school one time. I told him about a car. Was it your car? It was Mama's car.

Oh, no. Yeah, me and John Hamlin and Corey Billups and Che Anderson. Wait, you did more than that one? Yeah, but I was just using that one in high school. You get hurt? No. We flipped it like six times, and we just got out and went back to school. What?

Wait, what? What did out and went back to school. What? Wait, what? What did Mama do? Had a baby. Wait, she was having a baby at the time? She was pregnant with my sister, and this was February 9th, 1995. I was a sophomore. We skipped school. I had a wreck.

We were back in school at 10 o'clock, and then she found out. I didn't go back to school because my car was totaled. The rest of them did, and we called her, and it stressed found out. I didn't go back to school because my car was totaled. The rest of them did and we called her and it stressed her out. She went into labor and had my sister the next day. That's amazing. So there's that story that wasn't going to come out. But I, hold on.

You totaled cars in the dozens. That's fine. Not in the dozens. Half dozens. I was a good baseball player. cars in the dozens that's fine not not in the dozens he's he's but half those half yeah i was a good baseball player he said you were good at hitting no he i was a pretty good baseball what was wrong with i was pretty good baseball could run is all he said really just couldn't run i could run i couldn't run i could run right so it's so you're right you can't if i showed you my eight-year-old i know what he's talking about now because i i watched my eight-year-old hit the

ball and then it's he's exactly right every body I watched my eight-year-old hit the ball, and then he's exactly right. Every body part's going as hard as it can go, and he ain't going nowhere. Like Fred Flintstone trying to start a car. Yeah, it's just not happening. And it's like you think he's out of control at times, and he'll put it together, and he'll end up arriving at his destination. But I was a decent ball player.

He used to, for hours, and I mean this was literally for hours, we would get a football, throw it in the yard. Yeah. And I would be, his favorite was Dan Marino. And me, I would be Dan Marino. He would be the receiver. Who were you, Brandon? Mark Clayton. And I would grade him.

If he dropped two or three, okay, I'm going to be, I don't even remember who they all were, but somebody less than Dan Marino. Yeah. When he peaked, he wanted to be Dan Marino. Ah. And he would do it, I'm talking about for hours and hours and hours. Be sweating, and I'm just in there just throwing it. Yeah, you guys, you would work that boy.

He did, yeah. I just didn't through it. And then I'd say, okay, that's a pretty good catch right there. Now we're going to go up to the Dolphins. I'll be Dan Marino. And he'd just run his heart out. Are you a Mississippi State fan? Oh, yeah.

I'm a Kentucky fan now because I have another nephew that's playing football at Kentucky. Oh, wow. Congrats. Yeah. So, yeah, I was raised right there. I'm an Alabama fan, State fan, and Kentucky fan. There's too manyats. Yeah. So, yeah, I was raised right there. I'm an Alabama fan, state fan, and Kentucky fan. There's too many fans.

Yeah. Uh-oh, Brian. There's too many fans. But you've spent time living in Alabama. I never have. So, all right. Anything else we got to do? If you had a podcast, what would it be about?

What would you want to talk about? It'd probably be about hunting and fishing. Yeah. Hell yeah. What would you want to talk about? It'd probably be about hunting and fishing. Yeah. What do you hunt down in Alabama? We hunt deer, squirrels, rabbits, turkeys. Oh, shit. What's your favorite? Probably turkey.

Turkey hunting? Do you like the taste of it, or it's too gamey for you? I like the taste of it, but I love the sport of it more than actually eating it. Does Brandon ever go with you no he never was i used to have to tell him deer hunting stories when he was a baby in the bed but he never he never really cared that anything was the family like what's up with this guy he's not no he that would put him to sleep he'd tell me we used to tell him a story about the big buck down in the bottom i don't even know if you remember that. I was a baby.

I'm only little, but he didn't want to hear it over and over. No, I didn't even know that. I just never liked hunting. You know what? I can't kill an animal. Why? I don't know. That's a damn good question.

Remember when you took me out and I killed that snake? No. Well, you took me out and I killed a snake and I didn't like it. I didn't like the feeling of killing that snake. No, we were in Yuna. Nothing wrong with that. We were in Yuna. We were on that dirt road and it had that drainage ditch that goes by the side of the road.

Okay. And we were driving and you said, oh, look at that snake swimming. Get out. And you had a.22 and you said, shoot it. And I shot and I missed and I shot and I missed and I shot and I missed and then I hit it. And the snake started squirming and screaming and all that stuff. And I didn't like it. Not screaming because snakes can't scream. So I just never shot another animal.

But I did pretend to want to hunt after that. I would go down to Donnie's and he'd take me and his son hunting and they'd say, Brandon, shoot that bird. And I'd be like, oh, my gun jammed. Couldn't quite do it. They knew. So I faked it for a while. They knew.

I'd go deer hunting with no intention of it. You'd kill a fish? No. That's right. You don't like fish. I catch and release. That's right. You don't like fish.

I catch and release. Damn. What happened? I don't know about that. Are you the type to get up in a tree stand all day and just wait? No. You used to be. Yeah.

Yeah. No. I learned back in the 80s it was a whole lot more fun to actually hunt them. Do you have any hunting horror stories? Other than getting lost. Other than that, that would be the worst one. Never stumble upon a bear or anything? Are there bears down there?

No. No bears. What was your favorite job you had throughout your life? Side job, gig. Hustle. Well, probably for a couple years I was a golf course superintendent down in Boca Raton, Florida. Oh, hell yeah.

Chill as hell, yeah. That was it. Yeah. Probably it. Wish I'd have stayed, but I didn't. You ever give Mall Santa a try? One time. Yeah.

You did one time. I went to the Alabama-abama auburn game the iron bowl yeah yeah and uh they had me dressed up as santa claus this was three years ago who's that who is that my brother-in-law and his family bigger beard and i had a longer beard and uh my brother-in-law had a santa outfit he's man you need to wear this to the stadium. I said, no, I'm not going to do that. Yeah, well, he talked me into it. And we was at his best friend's RV, which was about 600 yards from the stadium. And when we left that RV, it took us about six hours to get to the stadium for all the little kids wanting to talk Santa Claus.

That's the only time I've been Santa Claus. And I enjoyed it. Oh, yeah. I enjoyed it. Did you lug around a big sack? No. I didn't know it was going to happen. I just thought we'd walk on in the stadium and every little kid,

Santa Claus, Santa Claus. And you just had to stop and get your picture made with them. That's awesome. You could make a fortune doing that. Yeah, my wife tells me that, too. I tell her I got all I need. Her. Oh, my wife tells me that too. I tell her I got all I need. Her. That's ridiculous.

That's for you, Sherry. What a ridiculous thing to say. Alright, well. Does that run the gauntlet? No, no, no. No gauntlet. Alright, well, you can go back in there.

We're going to Wrigley tonight. Remember the mask mandate they enforced. Oh yeah, did you bring one? All right, well, you can go back in there. Wrigley Field. We're going to Wrigley tonight, yeah. Remember the mask mandate they enforced, yeah. Oh, yeah, did you bring one? No. We have to wear a mask to go to Wrigley Field. What kind of mask? COVID mask.

Really? Yeah. When do they start that again? Did you not bring one? No. All right. Never mind. He took it well. He took it well.

He seemed fine. He seemed fine. All right. Big Cat will be back tomorrow. He came up here with one edict. Is this from my mom? Said you had to get a picture with Big Cat? No, that's from my niece and her future husband.

Really? They're real big fans of Big Cat for some reason. He's good. He's a talented guy. I don't know him. Yeah. Well, you get a picture with him tomorrow. He's a talented guy. I don't know him. Yeah. Well, you get a picture of him tomorrow.

He'll be back tomorrow. I got to have proof I've met him, I guess. Yeah. We'll get you that. I think being on this show is probably pretty good proof. Yeah, maybe.

But whatever. All right. I'll come get you in a minute and we'll go to the hotel. All right. Thank you. All right, Doug. Pleasure.

Nice to meet you. I'll be back tomorrow. All right. All right. You all right? These chairs are the worst chairs of all time. Okay. All right.

You're not wearing that to the game, are you? Okay. All right. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. All right. All right. Why wouldn't he?

I don't know. Those pants are actually in. Oh. No. No. It can't be me. Oh, God. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

Run, run. Doug, Doug, Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. He went left. He went left. There he is. You're good. You're good.

He's knocking ahead. Yeah, he's taking off the field. He's drunk. He told me easy now. That's perfect. Easy. He's everything I wanted him to be. And more. Great appearance. He was surprisingly docile when I rubbed his belly. Yeah.

That was bold. It certainly wasn't surprising He was surprisingly docile when I rubbed his belly. Yeah. That was bold. It certainly wasn't surprising that he was docile, but I think that went well. Yeah. Very well. Perfect. He was like a natural. He was just easy. You're right.

Just fully relaxed wherever he is. Yeah. Good for you. All right. I was terrified during that entire thing. Really? What could he have said? I don't know. I just terrified during that entire thing. Really? What could he have said? I don't know.

I just, I don't know. It's just, you know, I know him. I hope he gets hounded at Wrigley Field. Oh, yeah. I hope he just wants to come up and meet Uncle Doug. I want him to see you have to kiss a man. Oh, yeah. That's a likely scenario.

That's a very likely scenario. Anybody in Chicago that was not planning on going to the game tonight that has a kiss going. Please. Please change your plans. Do whatever it takes. We need to see. I got to kiss him.

Sorry, Doug. Hold on right now. I got to kiss this guy. Yeah. That'll go well. Have you warned him about that? I haven't told him about anything. I haven't told him about anything that might happen or might. I didn't tell him about the show. haven't told him about anything. I haven't told him about anything that might happen.

I didn't tell him about the show. He didn't know about the show. It's all going to be first experience for him. Tell him the kissing is just a northern thing. It's not even about the... Say, listen, we're going to a public place in Chicago. Men are going to be kissing. Kissing is a thing here.

I could probably pull that off. He'd leave immediately legend oh man that's what that's what men should be what happened to us floral terrycloth shorts yeah you guys said you like these angular jaw and brandon you have so much anxiety He doesn't have a care in the world. He's the happiest guy. He's like the anti-Brandon. Yeah, but he's on vacation.

What's he care? When you started telling that snake story, I feel like you were having a flashback. I was. I remember exactly. I remember everything about it. I can't believe he doesn't remember. Do you relax on vacation? Again, up to Kyle's question earlier, having four kids is way harder to relax on vacation again up to kyle's question earlier having four kids is way

harder to relax on vacation than it is if what if it's just you and the wife that hasn't happened uh super bowl week is you think oh yeah yeah i can relax then when i'm not working yeah i can relax then when when we're done i've seen you stoned to the bone yeah yeah super bowl week is probably my most relaxed week of the year. I mean, obviously we had to wake up at 7 this year, which kind of sucked, but once we were done with the Yak, we were done. You had a steak every day? I had a steak every single day. I had multiple steaks one day.

I probably had seven steaks in Vegas. We were there for five days. That was the best eating I've ever done. That was great eating. Where's Super Bowl next? New Orleans. That would be great eating. That would be even better.

That would be great eating. Oh, yes. That'll be great eating. That'll be even better. That'll be great eating. Oh, yes. That'll be fun. Man. All right. Anybody else bring their uncle? My Uncle Doug is dead, so no. You have a dead Uncle Doug?

I have a dead Uncle Doug. Yeah. But I do have an Uncle Doug, yeah. I have an Uncle Kenny who lives in a retirement home with my grandma. They're roommates. He was over-medicated. Now he acts different. I buy him weapons for every Christmas.

Bigger weapon every year. What size weapon are you up to now? So I started with brass knuckles. It's a perfect gift. You know the sword that gladiators get when they're freed? Mm-hmm. No. No? You know the sword that gladiators get when they're freed? Mm-hmm. No.

But not wood. It is metal. Do we have any more? Have we done Perfect Gene yet? No, good for it. Guys, this is an urgent public service announcement. I think you've mastered the look in sweatpants and joggers. You're one step away from pajamas in public.

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they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the Yak and tell them we sent you. Fuck your khakis and get the perfect jean. Mincy's made two more attempts. Let's see what Mincy's up to. Alright, taking out some frustration throwing axes.

Take out some pain and anguish. What is that? We'll see how we do. He's just having a blast. He's at a carnival. He's at a carnival. Fuck it. Let's boost.

I want that. I want that. No, no, no. I want that. Don't you dare. I want that to I want that. No, no, no. I want that to be like. Don't you dare. I want that to pass up the Ellen DeGeneres selfie. Let's break their record.

Wait, let's have that be the biggest tweet ever. Who was that? He hasn't gotten the right yak yet. Not Barstool yak. Oh, my God. Wait, I want that to be the most liked tweet ever. Can I see this? Thank you, TJ.

Doing your part. What's he? All right, what's up? Let's take out some pain and anguish in this axe throw, and we'll see how we do. Rate my axe. Pain and anguish from what? From losing last night.

They were the worst team in the league. All right, so there's that. Super banger. Yeah. Okay. That is a super banger. And there were two. You said there were two?

What's this one? Oh, that's us. Yeah. A slide. He's just having the best time of his life. Nothing else to it. He's putting on so much. No, man. There's all children.

And it's not like 15-year-olds. It's just kids' kids. Yeah, would you move your kids away from him? I would be annoyed. What the hell? What the hell's happening? Yeah, at the baseball tournament, that thing is there just so parents can get their kids out of the sun. Yeah.

Calm them down. You know, give them a little bit of experience and message us gotta go viral you kids want a rice in here riling them up again oh man all right so that's all right we've had three attempts during the act so i think he's screwed today no no that yeah that's one is gonna go if i'm cameraman, I'm just filming him without his knowledge. Yeah. You're bound to get it. I'd like to film the planning sessions. Those would go viral.

Yeah. I'm going to say there's not any. He just posted another one five seconds ago. Well, keep them coming, I guess. Running the show. Ken Griffey wishes he had my swing. That's a bunt. Look at the size of the kids watching.

This one's kind of good. Yeah. Mook, there you go. Mook, buddy. What? He just got hit by a fucking... Look at the... That's a nice cage.

What's somebody say hey for? There we go. I might quit. I mean... Moneyball. I might quit. I mean. Moneyball. I might quit. Moneyball. There she blows.

All right. For Mintz defending that he's not doing just all fun and games, he's only posting those two things. Fun. Yeah, we'll do a round two. Part two. All right. We got a part two. I can't do a round two. Part two. All right. We got a part two.

I can't wait for part two. I got to see part two now. God love him. God love him. Hey, man. What else you got playing tonight with Doug other than the game? Dinner anywhere? We're just going to eat at the barbecue place right by Wrigley.

Okay. And we'll go get a steak probably tomorrow night. But we're doing Wrigley night game tonight, Wrigley day game tomorrow. Nice. And then we'll get maybe a steak in Chicago, and then we'll retire to catch some fish. Nice. Might go to Milwaukee.

I don't know. If we're knocking out one city, let's maybe knock out another one. Milwaukee's very pleasant. Yeah, Milwaukee's wonderful. Milwaukee is a great fucking city. That public market there is very cool. Yeah. Never been?

You should. You see the rapper who does the free concerts? No. In Milwaukee? Oh, yeah. What's he doing? What's his cat doing? It's one of those things, if you don't know, then I'm not going to elaborate.

All right. Appreciate you. Yeah, that is helpful. Yeah. No, it is. Yeah, just speed things. That's all you need. There's no reason to.

Let's see what's on the other. If you had to golf your way home, how long would it take you? What? What? Is this Che doing this still? I assume. Did he write this to Che? Che's working on vacation.

I didn't. If you had to golf your way home, how long would it take you? Che's still doing this. Yeah. I believe it would take me maybe a month. I would say seven. It's not a bad question. It's kind of interesting.

So what does this imply? Just you hit a ball wherever it lands, you hit it again, and you just have to cover the distance from here to your house? Yeah. I think you have to hit it. Like Irish bowling. Yeah. Right.

Okay. But there's nothing but streets in between you and the, so you're just going to be hitting in the street? I think it's, I like this thought exercise. I don't mind the thought exercise. I just want to get some parameters and knock down here. I would hop in the bike lane and putt. I'd be there in about three hours.

That's a good idea. Best option. Yeah, I think three hours. If you're in the bike lane, though, you putt, you could knock that thing a while. I think you'd be home in about three hours. That's a good idea. That's the best option. Yeah, I think three hours. If you're in the bike lane, though, you could knock that thing a while. I think you'd be home quicker in three hours. Actually, you're right. I do it in an hour. I think I'm like an hour 20 walk right now.

Maybe an hour 10. I mean, if I got in my car and drove, it would take me an hour and 20 to get home. So walking and golfing, I feel like, would be a full day. Would it take you? I live 60 miles away. Could I walk that in a day? Yes. 16 miles?

60. Oh, 60. Could you walk that in a day? Right. Could I walk that in a day? No. No, absolutely not. Yes, you could.

60. Brandon could. Physically capable of, but you couldn't. If he had food and drink, I think you could. Brandon could physically capable of but you couldn't. If he had food and drink I think you could. You could. 60. Yeah. 0% chance you could walk 60. What's that like? How will we ever solve this?

Stop saying me. If I were an average human being as far as in shape if I were just average yeah could i walk 60 miles in a day yeah that's a lot yes wait um yeah if you kept a 15 minute per mile pace yeah that would take 15 hours and a 20 minute pace takes 20 so no the answer is no definitely yes you could keep up a 20 minute pace for 20 hours for 20 straight hours yeah 15 minute paces yeah i don't know

night flashlights and then you get three one hour food breaks now you're talking that's a full day right a day could you do it no sleep well it wouldn't if you had to yes i wouldn't want to do it here i guess i'll do it in idaho when we're out there yeah yeah i'll have to do it in a day? No sleep. Well, I wouldn't. If you had to, yes. I wouldn't want to do it here. I guess I'll do it in Idaho when we're out there. Yeah, yeah. I'll have to do it out in Idaho. Brandon's 60-mile walk. It'll probably be easier to do in Idaho, too.

I feel like people walk 60 miles in Idaho. It's quite mountainous, is it not? I think it's a valley, isn't it? Is it more valley than mountains? Mountainous. I guess the whole state can't be a valley. You're right. So it is mountainous. Very much.

Can you have valleys without peaks? When I first started here, I did a thing where I walked from Auburn University to the Gulf Coast. That's a pretty good piece. It took three days. Like three and a half days. What's that, 200 miles? It's a long time. Is that for charity?

It was sort of. It was for like a memorial hike. And it was hot. You didn't have to do one of those with like a military backpack on, did you? We had like hiking packs on. Okay. Because we were like sleeping on the side of the road. But yeah.

Was it fun? It was really fun. Like oddly enough. Like it kind of stunk, but then like. How many of you were there? There was, it's Aububurn university rotc does it every year really uh yeah the only bummer was all of us a lot of us went out the night before we left and we went to waffle house as the sun was coming up like right before we like mustard to

leave and i got the everything the everything plate yeah so that was remarkably hot suns yep not a fun combo but it ended up up being really fun in the middle of the night when you're all delirious. You hit that tired level where everybody's like, I don't know. Laughing. Yeah, that's a good feeling. Cussing. I missed that.

Yeah, a lot of cussing. A lot of scuffing of the feet, standing around, joking. No, it ended up being really cool. I love cussing with the boys. Yeah. We're just saying fuck. Yeah. There's nothing better than cussing with the boys.

Oh, yeah. Calling someone a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of ball busting In the wee hours Just telling people to shut the fuck up in a nice tone Shut the fuck up That's the best That's fun

That's good talking right there Fuck you And shut the fuck up It means something in every different tone i think it can because they're shocked anger question do it sad flirty shut the fuck up oh yeah if you just got terrible news yeah yeah um like like shut the fuck up kate do it flirty shut the fuck up yeah that would work yeah good. That would work. The hand toss. Yeah, you're mine.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what we know. That's a wrap. Yeah, that's it. That's mine. Okay. All right. Don't have to try.

Spending no more money. Folks, that one's done. No worries. Call the fight all right effort done calling the uber now compliment quota reach wow wow all right we got angry we got fl. We got flirty.

We got sad. There's horny. Please. Kyle, what are you doing? What's up? Kyle. I'm talking to you about horny shit. Shut the fuck up.

I'm picturing the Maroon 5 guy in the DMs being like, oh. I think, like, Kyle, you're laying on bed and you're, like, tracing your navel. Rip it. I don't think I can. It'd probably be a little aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck off. Yeah, that works.

Oh, it's a good exercise. Yeah. It's a good acting exercise. It's a flirty one, though. Man. Okay. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

What's your favorite fad you got into? Fad, F-A-D. Man, a lot of good ones. Examples, Pogs, Pokemon, et cetera. Pogs, crazy. Pokemon's not a fad. Pokemon's to the point it's not a fad pokemon's to the point it's not a fad pokemon go was that's a staple right uh it's user base is still very strong spending a lot of money um but it's not as big as it was not as big as it was yeah yeah that could be counted as a fad we had crazy bones that took over that was so fun what's crazy bones so did mints yeah yeah

these little plastic monsters that you would flick. You would flick these plastic monsters. Everybody wanted Z-Rex. Only Franklin had Z-Rex. I got into DJing in high school.

That, Jesus. That's a tough fad. That was brutal, dude. I was like DJing bar mitzvahs and Swing and Swing. Oh, okay. That's not a fad.

That's a hobby. That's a job. It was a job, but it was also a fad at the time because everyone was starting to DJ. They were rival DJ companies. Did you have turntables? Yeah. Did you mix?

No, I couldn't do it. So you just played songs. Yeah, just played songs. Stop, start. We had, in fifth grade, we had slap bracelets. Oh, yeah. Slap bracelets. Those date back to you in fifth grade?

Yeah, fifth grade we had slap bracelets. They were real sharp if they ever lost their coat. They were like razors. And then we had koosh balls. Oh, koosh is great. Because Rosie O'Donnell. Koosh ball. What did she have to do with koosh?

Remember the Rosie O'Donnell show? She was always flinging them from her desk. And everybody was like, oh. Does she have koosh or balls? Both. Yeah. I was obsessed with Rosie O'Donnell as a kid obsessed yes and i would draw and you could um she would have kids design her desk and i would send in submissions over and

over i was obsessed i had a hermit crab named rosie o'donnell i was obsessed with rosie o'donnell why her i thought she was fun i as a kid i I did too. And when I would be mad at my mom, I would wish that she was my mom. Rosie O'Donnell? Yeah. She was in all the Nickelodeon stuff. She was like always the fun mom. She was, yeah. Who was all that girl who reminded me of her? Probably Lori Beth.

I loved her. You loved her? She was hilarious. She just was bringing the news. She sucked. Maybe she did. I don't just was bringing the news she sucked maybe she did yeah i don't want to hear the news what other fact who was that old woman that was on nickelodeon that lori l oh linda ellen linda ellen that was such a down that was awesome kill what about uh power balance bracelets or fighting necklaces is that the the round thing that didn't meet in the middle it had the two?

The copper ones. Sort of, yeah. It would push you over at the mall kiosk and be like, see, you didn't fall. Exactly, yeah. You're bound, yeah. I never, you had that. Oh, I had a ton. And I had the fighting necklaces as well.

You guys have minor league baseball hats? Oh, yeah. Yep. I was obsessed with them. Yep. Remember the Adidas sandals with all the little spikes? Those hurt. The first week just killed.

I don't think they ever got that. Everybody had those, too. It just didn't feel good. That was the worst thing you'd want for the bottom of the shoe. Yeah, it was terrible. It was terrible. The lanyards were real big in high school, wearing a lanyard around your neck with a basketball card in it.

Oh, yeah. Really? I never had that one. I had a Jägermeister one. We'd do the lanyard, the keys in the pocket and the lanyard. Dangling out of the pocket. When I was in 7th grade, overalls had a moment. What?

Overalls with one strap down. Oh, yeah, that's cool. I think Kel did that in Kenan and Kel. You could do one strap down. Maybe you could do two straps down. If what? How? If they were tight enough, they just did two straps down. I survived the Ed Hardy,

Abercrombie, and Hollister fad. Oh, the big three. I never had it. Everyone fell victim to Abercrombie and Hollister, right? Yeah, Affliction. And the Marines. Affliction was another one. I don't think I ever had any. Yeah, I was too self-conscious. Tap out, yeah.

I never got it, no. Yeah. yeah I tap out in a self-conscious tap out yeah I never got it no yeah these are all good fans hyper color do y'all ever have that that would change color when you touched it poker yeah

poker was a fan like 04 to like 09 yeah yeah poker on TV yeah Norman Chad

all the boys would get together and play poker yeah we would always play I played so much fucking poker In high school Five dollar buy in Yeah

Mom Can I borrow Somebody I went through a country music phase As well Gave myself a That's my life Spitting tobacco addiction

Yeah For a while in high school Yeah Were you like Wearing boots and shit were boots had one camo sweatshirt oh my god you're trying to be like a country boy at school i was just going through ups and down there was a lot of who you were no idea you you were in a rap video one year and you were in a country phase the next year yep then i was djing um trying to

mix music getting into housework it was a it a time. What did you settle on? Nothing. Comedy. Still have no idea. TJ, you seem like a big fad. Oh, yeah. Not anymore. A big fad. The one that came to mind was Rubik's Cube. That's pretty much all I did with my free time, 6th and 7th grade. While everyone else was learning how to talk to girls,

I was trying to get my Rubik's Cube time under 60 seconds. Was that a fad? Right. That was a fad. There was like a club that I was trying to get my Rubik's Cube time under 60 seconds. Was that a fad? It doesn't show. Right. That was a fad. There was like a club that I was in. You're around Sass's age, aren't you? I'm 27. Oh, shit.

Sass can do a Rubik's Cube too. Yeah. I missed that. Sass and Francis are fishing right now. Yeah. They're like out in the ocean, I think. Yeah. I thought they were just going like a freshwater, but it looks like they're real.

In the ocean? Yeah, because Francis tweeted that he's taking four things of Dramamine. It's not the lake? That'll be ocean. It looked like ocean. I couldn't see land in the picture. You ever been out with people who got seasick?

Me. Do you not get seasick? no but I've twice been on fishing trips in the ocean where everyone else got violently ill and I remember people just vomiting over the side and fish coming up and eating the Froot Loops that my friend thought of we on Rediscovering America

I was seasick puke and we had to like shovel chum chum smells like shit that was the worst smell I've ever experienced whatever that was. Chum. Where were y'all when you did that? Lake Superior? Cape Cod. Oh no, yeah. We were lobster

fishing. Oof. Did y'all catch a bunch of lobster? We pulled up traps and had a couple. So many. Hard work. Hard work. Yeah, that's hard ass work. Kudos to those guys. That's another hot job lobster fisherman yeah i think you have an odor i'm to you yeah something about it there's there's a healthy

segment of lobster fisherman on tiktok i know and that one guy that barely got out he escaped it i think yeah he escaped what getting getting cancelled for what? oh I know who you're talking about killing a blue he pulled up a female lobster we got it he said oh we have an egger

one with a lot of eggs one with a lot of eggs is that slang or official terminology it's probably slang but he said it quickly he said it too fast but I think he came out of it he came out of it he's alright he's probably just running around inflatables now

he's at lobster fest right now great time is he still posting tj are we in part two i gotta see the yeah part two as well connor texted me and said round two is better than round one he's posting it at 1 30 he told me but he has not posted it yet but he's withholding content i don't know what the strategy is around one was round one was. Yeah, round one was bad. I might call him and tell him to sit on it until tomorrow because he has today's with the axe throw. Yeah, he's fine today.

That's a lock. You got today locked up. Already on trajectory, TJ? Axe throwing is 50K. Yeah. He also is like doing victory laps, though. Liam said, this is the one. And then Mincy said, saving the best for last.

He got the first part right. Does he consider the sliding board thing the best for last? Wait. I'm going to guess it's going to be hammed up physical humor. Yeah. That's what he's been doing with a goofy face holy shit that's his calling card what if he does grease himself up and streak at this that's well that's i mean that would work that is earned i mean that's we but i feel like a chance you might do it one day if there's like a panic show the next day and he needs that extra day also now think about

this omis is out so he doesn't have to stay to watch his team he could theoretically just be done with it and just leave at any point so why not just do the streaking across the field naked yeah and but then he saves that video for a trip come back here oh stockpile he won't be able to save that video what somebody else will get that video. Right? A naked man streaking across the SEC tournament? Again, that's why I ask, does he have to be the poster of his own viral content? I don't think so. Not this one.

Not this one. Not a streak. Yeah, like if, although ESPN wouldn't do it, but if the SEC said, look at this guy. Or if he gets stuck in an inflatable and a news tweets it out and it goes viral, I'll give that to him. Okay. Man saved from floating. If he's in there, he's been stuck for like 48 hours.

He's all pruned up. I can picture that vividly. A fireman. And it's like real easy for anybody else to get out. Kids are coming around. I can picture that vividly. And it's like real easy for anybody else to get out. Kids are coming around. It's just a balance house. He's in the middle. He's got like a pouty face.

Can't get up. We'll see. Is this it? Hoover, we have a problem. What? That's where the SEC tournament is, Hoover, Alabama. Did he hit the phone maybe? Is he going to hit a kid?

Well, it's starting a lot like the first. Is this the first one? No, the first one he was bunting, remember? Oh, that's right. How does that happen? No. Sorry. I need the whole thing to come down.

Come down. That wasn't bad. Oh, no. Wait, did he? But is that a batting cage or is somebody throwing it to him? It's a batting cage. It has to be thrown. It's a batting cage. It must hit your face.

Yeah, how does the throw keep being so wild? Did he tell him to do it? It has to be thrown. Because he's standing really close to that wall. And they're not consistent throws. Did he fall? Yeah, he told him to do it. And then hear the oh no at the end.

Did he break that for the rest of the kids? Yeah, he just. Oh, no. Did he shut the rest of the kids? Yeah. Oh, no. Did he shut this down for the kids? I feel like that was premeditated. We're getting to the point where he's just going to destruct and vandalize. That's good. That will go full circle for me.

Did the pitcher say, should I hit him? Win. Yeah, he told him premeditated stage. Oh, boy. And then he says, that's content. Who says that? The pitcher? Oh, God. Get then he says, that's content. Who says that? The pitcher? Oh, God. Get this motherfucker out of here. Block it.

That's content. So I hit him in the face. We might have broken Mincy, man. After that, he's probably like, my work here is done. And he's done for the day. Fuck. Well, that's sad. My work here is done, and he's done for the day. Fuck. Okay. Well, that's sad.

I think the die is cast with the axe throwing thing. The axe has to care. It's already going viral. There's nothing we can do now. It's already on its way, unfortunately. Hopefully, there's a... Looks like he's going to get another day. He'll get it today, but hopefully, there's a carnival going on somewhere tomorrow. If he's just the carnival guy.

He travels with the carnival. A wholesome carnival vlogger. Tries all the... Yeah, I'm watching this grown man have a lot of fun. I do keep going back to... I keep going back to Kate's idea of viral across America. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Throwing Mincy in L.A. And you can only... Every time you go viral, you get to travel another 250 miles. I love it. to kate's idea of viral across america oh yes yeah yeah taking throwing mince in la and you can only every time you go viral you get to travel another 250 miles i love it then you have to go viral in the next city that'll be an awesome reality show yeah can you get his way back home what if it's like multiple teams it's the race to get you have to viral back oh yeah viral your way back to chicago i don't know if i could i'm genuinely trying all the time and i can't so it's fine um tj you want to spin the wheel yeah yeah oh boy i'm excited for you and doug wet doug wet doug would he mousetrap himself? I don't think he would.

He would find that quite stupid. Same. I feel like he would do it and just go, oh, hell. Yeah, he would. Oh, hell, put my finger in my mouth? There's a chance he's already done it today. He'd just show it and be like, that's it. He had one in his pocket.

He used mine. He uses a money clip. Our mousetraps are his bear traps. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. All right. Big Cat will be back tomorrow. And Uncle Doug.

I'm out tomorrow. Uncle Doug will be in tomorrow. Are you out the rest of the week? No, I'm back Friday. I'm out Friday. I'm also probably out Friday, but I'm 50-50 Friday. I'll be here Friday. Otherwise, yeah, that's the act.

Yep. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. See you tomorrow. Bye.