The Yak - An In-Depth Look Into the Delco Pooper with Mike Rainey | The Yak 5-5-25

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

Dahmer's dad taught Ohio's TateYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. It's the Yak sponsored by Roback fresh off their new release of the all active shorts and the tailwind q-zip. We always rave about their polos and whatnot but their new active products are killing it. The shorts are our new favorite. They're great to work out for, to run in, and the q-zip is actually so soft. But you know the deal, roeback.com use code yak for 20% off your first purchase that's 20% off roback.com and we're down four men I'm gonna be honest with you guys we got

Donnie we got Danny and Kate we got Tate here and we got really good comedian Mike Rainey who's also an author yeah show at the LinkedIn lodge how we do it Mike? Feeling good baby yeah Kate and I were just talking about the Delco pooping lady. Yeah. Okay. It happened 200 feet from my house. So I can't wait to talk more about her with that and with you guys. So we saw you paid your respects, you did a kneel. Yeah. But I didn't realize she was so close to you. I know you can feel them sometimes in your heart. You know your poopers are close. And I had a feeling she was around yeah There's surprisingly like she there's a couple things that are so remarkable about that is that once she was able to produce that kind of velocity

And to she didn't get any in the street No, she said in an interview. She didn't even have to wipe like it came out so strong It never even touched her butt cheeks, and she's somebody marked it Was this something that popped off in a local Facebook neighborhood watch group then eventually hit the big media? The story I got and this is from a pretty reliable source is that the car that got shat upon It had broken down at that spot. Okay, and this woman who's a real live wire like kind of lady I love but you know, bless her heart. She's a real live wire She didn't take kindly to that lady breaking down the street right there She thought she was just being an asshole by not moving her car, but her car was actually broke down

So the shitter drove around her exchanged words and the lady in the car was like look. I'm broke now What do you want from me? But at that point it had escalated to all right? We're already popping off right so it wasn't even the victims fault no Right. So it wasn't even the victim's fault? No. Oh my god. She just... The story I heard was that the car that got shit on was chasing her. And so when they stopped, like that's why she got out. She was like, I was being chased, blah blah blah.

And so like I almost kind of felt bad for the shitter. It sounds like she did it with such efficiency and grace that she was very prepared for this maneuver. Dude, it's nuts to have that on deck. Yes, yes. And here's the deal, I know where she lives, and that is not a route you take to drive if you have to unload that badly. So that's just sitting there, I can wait until I get back to my house to do this. Very impressive. She just had that in the chamber,. I just realized I never saw it

I never saw the shit emit from her anus. Did you see that the hood of that car? I don't think I saw any of like the remnants. It's an orange It was orange which was also shocking but yeah, you say you were like on a trip with your wife And she got the notification. She's like oh my god. That's like a block from our house. Yeah, it's like a famous spot Now this is like our version of where JFK got shot. I haven't seen our I have no idea We're talking see the orange on the hood of the car you you I don't know when was this? I'm here. Have you been I feel like it was like my top news story Wednesday, maybe very Philly. Yeah, I think it was Wednesday. Yeah, and

Yeah, there was a kid that just happened to be finished work. He was driving by he was perpendicular to the event and He took out his phone, and he was trying to be Demure about it and fortunately the part that he did get was the money shot where she unloads on the car So this was just a road rage incident and her response was to shit on someone's car He gets out runs out and it happens so quick.'re like explodes on it runs back to her car and whatever, but she ended up getting arrested the next day Oh, and I know here. She has like five different charges. What's on her? What's the charge? public defecation yeah public defecation Probably destruction of property I can see that being a crime. Maybe multiple.

And then did she run away after she did it? She calmly drove away. Did she wipe? No. No, she said she didn't need to. She said there was no poop on her body. And it was orange and hue. Yeah. What do you do if that happens to you as the driver? Do you wipe the shit off or do you drive home with the shit on your car?

Dude, I think that's the ultimate- Drive to a car wash. Yeah, that's really the only move because I don't think you really have recourse. I think this is a much healthier approach to road rage than pulling out a weapon. You don't break anything. You don't permanently ruin anything. Everybody goes home. The worst that happens is you got to get your car detailed.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's- But do you leave it on there the same way you don't clean up a crime scene? You need the evidence. You gotta leave it on! Wait till it rains. When we took Driver's Ed back in the day, they always told us the story of a road rage incident where a guy got out of the car with a crossbow and just shot the person point blank.

So this is a much better way to resolve the situation. Yeah, crossbow. Straight to the chest. That might be more random than shitting on the car. You don't see that too often as a means of violence. No, no, most people don't drive around with crossbows. So this is your neighbor. Dude, it's 200 feet from my house, and I feel like, things happen sometimes that I feel like,

you ever feel like the universe does things just for you? Like, I'm a disgusting individual, I'm a degenerate, so I feel like it's no coincidence this happened. And we're moving in two months to Texas and my wife and I would go for walks all the time. Now it's getting to the point where we're getting sentimental, like this is where this happened, this is where the kids played their face for a softball game. But now like seeing this it's like okay we're ready to go. The sentimentality is done. People are shitting in the streets in Prospect Park. What's the mood of the neighborhood? Are they proud?

Dude, it's a buzz, man. It's kind of like when Forrest Gump was running, how like hysteria just swept the nation. Everybody was wearing t-shirts and hats and running with them. Like I wouldn't be surprised if now where people are shitting in the streets in solidarity with this lady. So they're taking, are they siding with the shitter or are like that can't be happening in I think on the home turf Yeah, I think camps are divided and I think where she went right is she hasn't been apologetic She's like I did this this is why you're gonna hear my story one day. There's people defending her She even changed her profile picture on Facebook to the lady from the help who's shitting the pie She's leaning in she's shared her only fans on Philly mag this big like Philly publication. She's like hey

Here's my only fans its footstuff 799 which I know I know you're subscribed well like it It's now up to 30 bucks, and I am subscribed Two girls one truck Dude, it's kind of nuts cuz it's not something. I think is worth $30, but you got to strike while the errands hot but Yeah, if you're in the foot stuff. I think is worth $30, but you got to strike while the iron's hot, but yeah if you're into foot stuff I think she puts on a good presentation There's one picture which I think is the best which should be the biggest indicator that I should probably get off only fans All together is because it's a doggy style foot pick ever see one of those no

I have not dude. It's it it's a lot. There's a lot of moving parts to it Okay, is she riding or just in that doggy stuff? She's just in that position. Do you want to see it? From the back with the bottoms of the feet. I think it's a time photograph and it's like she's in underwear and she looks pretty good which is nuts considering what she's capable of. And in a lot of the other pictures

she's got her cat on the bed with her which is not my thing but to each his own. I mean some guys like poop stuff too so maybe she should lean into that I think so too man. I think she should definitely find your niche. Yeah, I saw Because I have a lot of friends who live in half like Havertown area Drexel Hill area Havertown and they're well Havertown would never first they would never but They are deep in the face, but and they're sending me any update they can get and apparently

They are deep in the face, but and they're sending me any update they can get and apparently About ten years ago There was a Ridley Park Fountain shitter that went in the high school that was shitting in the fountains of the high school and people are saying is this her? Like what's the timeline there could she have been the one so there's a lot of theories out there And there's a lot I mean this feels like Delco true detective for a lot of different reasons But part of it is to I think she's very active in the local swim community. And for somebody who has diarrhea like that,

you should not be anywhere near a pool. Yeah, it's a code brown every time. Yeah. In Tokyo, they have splatter palaces, I think that's what they're called. And you go in and then a girl sits on like a sheet of plastic and you go underneath the sheet and then she splatters poop on the plastic.

So she kinda like sits on it, maybe it's glass, and then shits and people get off to that. As an exhibit? As like it's in the red light district. So you know, you could either hire a prostitute or you could pay a girl to poop on a glass pane. What, does she do an enema and then just runs out and blows it?

Performance art. Maybe she can poop on command like this Delco pooper. Damn. Yeah, I guess I thought this was on everyone's radar. It's like shocking to hear. It's been like the top news story. I've been off the grid for a couple days. So yeah. Yeah, I think it was Wednesday. Okay. It gained some heat leading up to the weekend. And then once it was revealed what her name was, you know, it gained a second win. and then when she was just like yeah I'm not wrong, and you're gonna find out why I hope it starts a trend honestly that seems like I'm with like road rage in general like you hear like dude get shot after whatever

Yeah, I think that just settle it if you think you're right poop on their car. We're out. That's it That's all you have to do, and I don't know that everybody has the capability to just unload I would guess only like one to five percent of people could do that in the heat of a moment spontaneously without Prepare specifically preparing for that incident. Yeah, this feels you have that ability though I can fart but that's you know, it's but you pooped on command when we were filming the Pittsburgh potty episode of rediscovering America and I was trying to poop on camera I got stage fright. I had to like, bluff myself a little bit.

And then you were like, don't worry, I got this. You got in the toilet, pooped right there. Mm-hmm, I sure did. Yeah, it feels like I remember a major league where Willie Mays Hayes oversleeps for the tryouts and then he just wakes up in pajamas and takes off and they're just like, who is that? Like, I feel like that's what we're looking at with this

and there's no other person out there like this. But what I think can happen is maybe you could have a canister that you put in your glove compartment. That's just loaded with like, spring loaded with shit. So it's like you spray it on the hood of the car. It's like admitting that like this is over. Like in a mist form. And this is as far as I'm willing to take it. That would shut me down quick. Yeah.

That would work. Sign of dominance. Be effective. Yeah. Wow. So yeah, big shut me down quick. Yeah. That would work. Sign of dominance, yeah. Be effective. Yeah. So yeah, big weekend for Philly. Yeah, local newsroom. Recorded incidents. Yeah, you're right.

Oh yeah, Philly's hot on the radar. How do you think this would have been different if it was a motorcyclist that she had gotten in a road rage incident with? And shit on the motorcycle? Yeah, well, what would you do? I think that goes from a sign of dominance to insulting if you shit on yeah

Yeah, I Don't know makes you think Not going on in Philly going on going on speaking of bodily movements big cat had another Kidney stone how common is it to get one what two months after yeah, is it like a domino effect? The similarity is crazy is that him and PFT have both. Right, which makes you think- Like how often do podcasts part- something's going on. And they were born a day apart as well.

But no, I think it is concerning. I know very few 40-year-olds who have gotten kidney stones. Have you ever gotten a kidney stone? No, I got gout. It's about the unhealthiest thing that's happened to me, but kidney stones have been lucky, man. And it's- I remember the TV show Deadwood

Yeah, there was an episode where the main character elsewhere engine got kidney stones, and they had to jerk it out of them Oh, so that's when I saw big cat I just automatically assumed that like some CNA was just jerking them off in the hospital. This is like Is this like historically accurate to the Wild West? I think character names are the same, but as far as like... They had to jerk it out of him? Was he hard? There might have been some creative license

taken with that one. Cody definitely offered to jerk it out a bit. And I didn't even know that females can get kidney stones too, until Brianna Chickenfry was complaining about having them. Yeah, apparently. Would that just plop out or? I don't know who has the bigger peels. I feel like it's two. I feel like that would be easier on the woman. Yeah, I don't know. I just plop out or

That would be easier on the way yeah, I don't know girls have it so easy your kidney stones are so much easier Yeah, you could just unload it on the hood of somebody's car Yeah, I don't know I haven't I'm shocked I haven't had any yet I probably just has an avalanche one day what causes them I Don't know maybe like dehydration erosion be something with the diet Yeah, maybe PFT and pick out are ingesting the same thing they do eat a lot of like takeout food all the time drinking too much exercise Too much salt or sugar yeah, I mean there I could see I could see the boys yeah, they're exercising too much

Yeah, no one would be surprised if any of us in this room got a kidney stone Side note Cody looked amazing this weekend. He true to his promise. He met up with big cat. Should we call him our guy Cody? He's also a stand-up comedian, but he He does a derby drop your dirty don't insult Mike every year And this was his fit this year He chickened out on the hat like TJ said he would sure it looks great though, but sure it looks great Nordstrom Rack he said that is a cool shirt where he found big how cocky has he been Kyle? Is he on cloud nine cocky today?

He's talking in like rap parables. Yeah He came upstairs to he's not really an upstairs guy he was strutting around he was strutting around I'll see my selfies I'll see my pick doing yeah he's on one sitting a lot of a heater yeah some call lady toots that was me when I walked in it was revealed that he has a new doppelganger movie that wasi. That was good. I'm not a Lucas guy, but that was- Oh, that was Lucas. You gotta give him flowers.

Yeah, he looks a lot like Mubi. Should we call Cody in here? Cody! He's lurking. Defend yourself. He's probably waiting right outside the door. Wait, you were in LA? Me?

Yeah. Last week, yeah. Last week, okay. Hey, he looks like a pretty girl. That's movie Wait, what is this? Is this also the derby day party? See this is dumb Yeah, that's not synchro to mine. I don't think that's insulting to either party, but that that looks like movie Move nothing Cody's more space look certainly insulting to him Yeah, in a way, not to her.

Definitely not to her. Somebody gotta do it. And Nick Teraney just went on his first private plane a bolt on? He's on it. They may have landed by now. Okay, yeah. He survived? And that kind of pissed me off because he was dreading it, like didn't want to do it. Just was asking if he could fly commercial. But I mean, I have been like pleading to fly private

for the last five years. I've never gotten the invite. You've flown private, Kate's flown private, Danny's flown private. I got kicked off of private. What'd you do? Well, I got the invite and then I got the retraction. So you weren't on the?

No, I was kicked off the list of the problem. Okay, okay? He said yeah, it wasn't too shabby really tiny though It checks out the bathrooms are tough on a private jet. I can talk like an expert So I was on one once five years ago first world stuff in the tough going in those bathrooms You've been on all sorts of planes probably being in the military Helicopters. Yes. Cargo planes.

Yes. They're not as fun as you think. Bushwhackers. What's a bushwhacker? I should probably know. Those tiny ones that Alaskans travel by them, and they always crash. Oh, no.

I haven't been on one of those. Puddle jumpers. Loud net seating. All, Eddie. Eddie's here too. Eddie and Cody. Full house. Alright, Cody. Break down how the day went for you. The picture came out great. Some are saying, not me, but many are saying. You met Big Cat where? Uh went to his son's softball or tee ball game. Okay. Yeah. Just at a park, rolled up in a crazy fit. Went to his son's softball or t-ball game.

Okay. Yeah. Was at a park, rolled up in a crazy fit. Way too many people saw me look like an idiot, but we got the pick. I think it turned out well. He said he liked the outfit, so that was a W. What were your thoughts on not only tagging him in the caption, but also in the photo? It's the rare two tag.

Yeah, I couldn't pick on one so I just did both. Just in case you didn't see the first application, I like it, can never be too careful. What'd you guys think of the fit? I think we agree it's a pretty good shirt, a little large. I liked it, I thought you were gonna do... Yeah, you were talking like

it was gonna be the craziest thing we'd ever seen and this is very... I mean, you've never seen something like that. What does the bottom of the shirt say? don't know it's in a different language Oh, dear No, I love up top no hat though Cody kind of just pointed I I brought two hats one for me one for him left Them both in the car there. We go. Yeah, so you rolled up on him, and he's like hi Cody now I rolled up. He was excited to see me so the fit looked good we literally took the picture then I told him my joke and then

I left. Connor and I were together he came with me. What was your joke? It wasn't really much of a joke it was more of a sentence. I feel like this is year three of the Derby Fit. This is my third iteration of the Triple Crown. Must be great. Okay so not a joke. I missed it. Year three of the Derby fit is my third iteration Let's be great Didn't hear it I Just said this is the third the third iteration of the Derby fits. Let's go for the Triple Crown. Let's be great today

Oh, okay. No, it's more of a just a sentence that I enjoyed play on words word play. Yeah, three to triple. Yeah, right And then I know you catch any of the ballgame The ballgame no no no just went up and dipped yeah, that'd be kind of creepy No, he gave me like a little window and I got there right in time a little window from what I heard He said hurry up my kids up to bat next yeah Did you meet the kid? No? I just took the picture and left there's a shirt. Oh So does have a horse on what does that mean Kyle at the bottom? Coast

blue coast I Think so really yeah like Cote d'Azur yeah the like the ocean blue coast That's like the quintessential Instagram ad well you've been to the azures right the Azores Azores Cote d'Azur oh, that's what they call the French Riviera no Yeah, so wrong Olive oil fall out of my pocket. Oh shit. Let me get that for you white socks Dave. He's back from Italy That's a tough look to my olive oil fell out of my pocket. Oh shit, let me get that for you. It's from White Sox Dave, he's back from Italy. That's a tough look to have olive oil fall out of your pocket. I had to address it because I know something about olive oil.

You can't have that falling out of your pocket. Spilling out. Nips of olive oil. He always keeps that mofag on him. Look at that thing. That's a nice gesture by White Sox Dave. Dave is back from Italy? Yes.

What type of mood is he in? Pretty good. He brought a bunch of cheese, sausage, olive oil, bread, wine for us to eat on the podcast. So it's good. Did it change his life or his perspective on anything? He said his quote was that it was as nice as Istanbul, but the food was better. Food was even better. Which I think, yeah. Do you agree Donnie I praise yeah, I agree

Snow that I don't think that's a very controversial statement that Italy has better food than Turkey Now how does sausage hold up on a plane? Sausage I was Dave has also Taken a log a big log of pork roll yeah through the Philly airport to bring to Chicago unrefrigerated It is and then eating it just plopped it right alone on the conveyor belt and he Unrefrigerated however many hours brought it home ate the whole thing checked So he definitely was fine bringing sausage, but whatever whatever he did was I said the same thing He's like sausage doesn't need to be refrigerated you idiot swine or something like that

Yeah, if it's cured culture that I was right Like if it's been cured because that's the whole point of curing because I can just like I said it preserved doesn't go bad That's kind of like hot dogs right like you could eat a hot dog out of the bag because it's cooked Yeah, but it has to be frozen. Let's not compare hot dogs to cure. I'm just saying like there's meat that You cook because it tastes better, but you won't get sick. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's not raw.

I can agree with that. Happy Cinco de Mayo, Ed. Happy Cinco de you, Kyle. And the 600,000 Mexicans in Chicago. Yeah. Huge. I think it has a larger Mexican population than Los Angeles or at least it's like one and two Maybe la number one Chicago number two the LA has like million Chicago is a third a third a third

Hispanic black white Chicago has more Latinos than Miami has people. Whoa the city of Miami That's pretty crazy Chicago has eight hundred thousand Latinos Chicago has more Mexicans than Atlanta has people mmm Pay respects What's the big the big party ever it's not Cinco de Mayo, but every they have like a month every year The big party ever it's not Cinco de Mayo, but every they have like a month every year Oh, all the cars are plastered in the flag and it like the party just goes all month I think it's September. Yeah, it's Mexican Independence Day. I went to the celebration in La Vuelita

Which is the little Mexico here and a bunch of people thought I was an undercover cop because I was the only Yeah, you look undercover Mexican. I do. That's for them. This is for us. Cinco de Mayo. Yeah, true. Are you going to go out and get some chips and guac and marks?

Monday margaritas. Do we like margaritas? Yes. I don't like them. Spicy Mark. I think we love the idea of them. But they could be really bad I'm think and they can cause horrible heartburn too

But no, I think it's it's my favorite cocktail When it's good, it's good. It's good. It's good I got a flight of Mexico City on Wednesday heading down there to film a promo video for the NASCAR race in Mexico City June 15th does not even the risk you got to go back for the race Yeah, and then I'm going back for the race to trip double Mexico City June 15th. So you gotta go back for the race? Yeah, and then I'm going back for the race. Two trips. Double Mexico City trip, that's unbelievable. They got a direct flight though, it's not bad.

Yeah, that's good. Fer, you getting some marks today? Yeah, yeah, I'm getting a mark. Just one. Have you ever had like marks before? Cause TJ was saying you haven't tried like a lot of fairly basic foods. I'm cultured in the liquid department, but just the foods not quite

Scale of one to ten how bad is it that I didn't know how to open a bottle of wine And I don't drink wine like I've never I've never ordered wine besides like sangria at like did you understand how to use the wine Opener and just yeah, I put it on there, and I didn't take the wrapper off how to use the wine opener and just... Yeah, I put it on there and I didn't take the wrapper off. Ah. I can understand. At your age now, as a man, if you owned a Tesla, you should probably know.

I think that's bad. I'd say that's like... Yeah, I think flubbing it is one thing, but not knowing, like, because half the time that cork is going to fall in the wine bottle. You're just a man, you know? You can only do so much, but not, not unwrapping you ever get real Buck it up and like bad luck take scissors to it Like you don't give a fuck the door frame. Yeah, you're drinking glass

Yeah, you're like burn it like use a lighter to get the cork to rise out No, that work. Yeah, then that fix upon that seems like plan Z. Yeah, it's burning it. Who was giving you shit ad? Chief and Dave, which, or listen, I rightfully said I've never bought a bottle of wine before. I think it's tough when, respectfully, White Sox Dave can do something classy that you can't. Is a sign like, hey, I should probably get on this. Fair.

It's a wake up call. Did you penetrate the cork? He didn't even let me get that far. He ripped it out of my like I didn't have a chance to like troubleshoot troubleshoot. You know it was like it was very much I Think seeing that you're a proud Italian That that makes the whole thing worse Yeah, but I'm not I've always said like I'm very like

Fake Italian like I've never been like um you've never been like the no. I don't think so I presented myself as such no You'd be honest with me. I thought you were like check You can very easily be check Yes, I don't know Is Chay back from his colonoscopy so I don't I think he's at that gala. Oh, he's at the back gala Okay, not here. Yes, I've been wondering how that went for him, too Speaking of pooping like Che told the story about how he pooped on the street once or he had like a poop fall out of his pants Yeah, he had a dick sized poop fall out of his ass, and he didn't realize it

Dad made lobster roll. Yeah from expired lobster. Oh look at him He's recovering exploring I know look at him He's recovering exploring He had a treacherous Transaction at the boutique and that's a fine place for poop to fall out in the desert like that with those level shorts Oh, yeah, he could do this was at the basketball court this was and again. He didn't know that it fell out Until he saw it. He didn't feel it. How big is his asshole? He didn't feel it. How big is his asshole? That's serious

Kyle do you think that was a real tweet like uh was he I almost texted him. I don't talk to che very much, but That couldn't have been his actual take on no transaction. I would make sense for him I thought he was looking for a response what happened. I thought it was one of the more outrageous that tweet We pull up the okay all right chase says I just made a purchase at a boutique clothing store in person Total was a hundred and thirty nine dollars one cent I paid with two $100 bills the woman at the register gave me back three twenty dollar bills and ninety nine cents instead of just giving me back $61 I am furious insane lack of respect for my patronage like he's 100% wrong here ah Disagree given somebody 99 cents change is like giving them a baby

But it is in cash I Get it, but I think as a matter of just thank you for for patronizing the store Here's something you don't have to think about the rest of the day Thank you for patronizing the store. Here's something you don't have to think about the rest of the day. I'm fine with them giving him, like as a kind gesture, giving him straight cash back, but I feel like when the store is the one losing the penny, that's it. Che, either use a credit card or accept your correct change. Or give them the 99 cents.

Tell them to keep the 99 cents. Yeah, I pay cash a lot and I'm like, when it's like four cents and lower. I'm a little like they're gonna Let me go like it'll be sick if you did first I'm Kyle though like then you eat the the 99 cents if you don't want to change You know how they have to like give a penny take a penny for these kind of circumstances How many pennies is too many to take like if you're if you're like six short Can you be taking six pennies from there from the penny bin I think if it's there you're entitled to it yeah however many it is yeah you just completely can wipe

just estimate it and it's the next guy's issue pennies nothing cost a whatever ever the penny going like extinct I thought that was gonna be a thing Sally the pony at the Meyer stores keeps it alive, huh? You can ride one for that's the only thing left that cost that's one penny But yeah, they should go extinct that horse in bad shape I think it's gonna be put down at some point Yeah, it's gotta be it's damn near done. Is it every Meyer I? Think so yeah, I haven't been to everyone I

Mean Jay also said that he was too afraid to use the tap to pay with his credit card and like finally did it for the first time You had the skill set that was like that was the first chasin to make me like Legitimately mad is that why shit's falling out of his ass because he's terrified of having his card? Yeah. Special boy. He's the best. Mike, you, what you got? I was going to say, Mike, since the last time I saw you, you have another book out.

Yeah, I'm cranking them out. You have a whole series of, and now this one is a sex advice book. Yeah. What's it called? I've been a little lucky. This one's called Terrible Advice for Lovers. It's the third book of my Terrible Advice series. And the reason why I'm so excited about this book is because I've been a little lucky. This one's called Terrible Advice for Lovers. It's the third book of my Terrible Advice series.

And the reason why I started writing these Terrible Advice books is because I read a shit ton of awful self-help books, trained rec for a long time, and I realized that 99% of these books are absolute bullshit. So I figured fuck it, if they can do it, so can I. Hell yeah.

And it's, I feel like I get pussy often enough. I can validate giving advice and... You are one of it's, I feel like I get pussy often enough. I can validate giving advice and... You are one of those guys, I'm like scrolling the timeline at night or whatever before bed, and I see every time you get pussy. I sound like, oh, he tweeted that, yeah, yeah, yeah. And here's the, I announce it every time

because there were some dark eras. And I was talking to Mooc a little while ago about going to Washie Washie, and that was some of the lighter eras, but I mean, there were times between washy washy visits because that was expensive I think at the time when I was hitting washy washy was like 160 a pop What is this hand job still washy washy I think I can assume what yeah Well, they would take you into a massage parlor room lay you down on the table and like elephant style just bathe you okay

I thought they only had that in China. No brother. They got it in in Chinatown, Philly So you go in there you get that now There's when I would go it would be a long waiting period because I would go after Eagles game So like the place would just be packed with dudes and McNabb jerseys Yeah, and it's like you don't get your pick because you're just it's first come first serve they take you back they they'd slop you down and then they bring you to a room and they would suck you off and then'd slop you down, and then they'd bring you to a room, and they would suck you off, and then let you pick a position.

And there would be an undetermined amount of time, like sometimes they'd tell you you take too long, which I take as a compliment. And by and large, you're in there maybe 15 minutes in and out. Okay. Good to go. For 160. For 160. What, they bathe you and suck you?

Yeah, they got like one of those gigantic toothbrushes which first You have to get bathed you'll walk into like it's a Kind of like like a high school wrestling style shower where it's like a I'm aware yeah And they'll lay you down on the table, and they'll have this huge trash can full of soapy water that everybody's and they'll have this huge trash can full of soapy water that everybody's Asshole waters going back into and they'll scrub you with that brush and yeah, if you're paying for the experience you're gonna sit back you're gonna enjoy it and Yeah, they really do a good job there. It's a great deal. I'm pretty sure young man It's paid like seven thousand dollars for his first that's

Yeah, no, I was I think it was a blowjob. He was funded. Yeah, I higher power It was like a blowjob with a condom. Yeah. Yeah, blackjack Fletcher. I think paid for most of that blackjack fletcher Yeah, I think so. Oh shit your boy. He is my boy Absolutely, I don't know how much it costs in the end off to look back through my bills But similar experience when I got my c-section I have to look back through my bills, but similar experience when I got my c-section Like eight dudes at the bottom of the table And they're scrubbing you with something and the lights are just like this really and yeah, it was pretty hot I got one of those in Turkey, but it's from a guy oh

And you big yeah, but you didn't get sucked off no no suck no sir clarify But yeah, you're like on a table and like I'm flipping around like, tell him, it was fucking crazy. Are you fully naked? Uh, no, I had like a skirt on. What? No, he had a jar of olive oil on his hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Damn.

I had a skirt on. So you, horny guy. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, I'm gonna write the next thing that I'm an expert on. Fuck it, I'll figure it out along the way. Yeah.

Now you have an active spouse? Yeah, we've been together for 25 years now my lovely wife, Jamie It's got her name tattooed on my wrist at a horror convention this weekend I'm still madly in love And yeah, we've been through the ringer together man And it's mostly my doing like I had a lot of like drinking and drug problems right like she was very very she you know she righted the ship, and I'm just grateful for her and Fortunate that now 25 years in like we're stronger than ever and like things really really going strong man, but yeah I was convinced for a long time. I'm 46 when you're younger

You're convinced by like your dad and your uncle's that like you're just gonna stop getting pussy at a certain point But my wife God bless her still has crazy sex drive. I think I can thank her absentee father for that. So she's still cooking. I don't think that's gonna slow down anytime soon. Yeah, well good for you. But you still have other ventures that you pursue. That you still like OnlyFans and. Yeah, I think that's the concession.

I think, you know, she knew she was buying a wild stallion when she bought into this. And it's like, my deal is I don't message these ladies The only time that I've broken that rule is to message the shitting lady. Oh, so you did message her Yeah, but I let my wife know hey just a heads up I got a message this lady and my message was like look I'll give you 50 bucks if you tell me what you ate that day And I sent this guy to know I know they even asked you like when she was bringing purple walked out of there

And she didn't respond so I was hoping like maybe, you know, I could get a little cash to get her talking. So I started with 50 bucks, she hasn't responded yet. She's busy, yeah. Yeah. Are OnlyFans girls like pretty active in the DMs like that? They usually are, from what I understand. Now I say usually are from my experience

because they're constantly hitting you with messages, which are probably spam. But I think if you're willing to tip, that increases the likelihood of your message getting responded to. All about the money. So this girl had an OnlyFans before she shit on the car? She did, and I think, Kate mentioned the number,

I think it was like seven bucks. 7.99. Which is still a little bit steep for just feet. Just feet. Have we ruled out, like, this is a publicity stunt to grow? To grow the OnlyFans? She's the real deal man. Yeah Okay, so what is she do?

Hey, how much time you got there was a price sick of me talking about the Delco pooper the woman who shit on the car Oh, I saw her getting pulled in it happened right outside his house Oh, it was your house dude. It was right around the corner 200 feet from my house And yeah, she had a rotor-age incident with a lady shit on her car and then a couple days later They arrested her is there like bouquets of roses and flowers by there now where it happened There's a crosshair somebody painted in the street with with chalk She already was I think from what I heard she was already kind of notorious in the neighborhood She's like one of the neighborhood characters, you know, every neighborhood has like its people

She's like a fella in that neighborhood kind of and not in a terrible way You know, it's like a little little mischief kind of like, you know having like Beetlejuice around. Yeah She's showing I don't know man, I'm a big you know, it takes a lot to impress me, but it's mostly feet. There is one picture of her doggy style foot posing. You're speaking about the... Pretty good. And some cats involved. Nothing sexual, it's just sometimes cats just won't get off the bed when you're trying to

do your thing. Right. Are you a creature of curiosity or do you have like specific fetishes that you know what you want? Yeah, I like ladies that are close to 200 pounds Just really picking it up man. It's more realistic. Yeah So I mean kind of in my wheelhouse and like I like a lady that's seen the access there. She's above the law So it's uh, and the funny thing is like my wife went to school with her and kind of had a beef with her

So this is really your wife knows, wait. Your wife knows her. Yeah. So she knew of her. My wife was a senior when she was a freshman in school. And she's like, oh, I can't stand that bitch. I was like, why? She's like, I don't know. We just didn't dive.

And I was like, what would she do? She's like, she would always get in trouble for eating chips in class. Yeah. I think it's normally the precursor to this kind of behavior. It's a gateway. She was wearing the Cookie Monster pajama pants.

No doubt, yeah. Wait, boy, she's shitting on the only fans too no That's an excellent question because she's not doing that but if you peruse her Facebook profile You'll see that are there are a lot of like references to shit really can't make business a pleasure Yeah, she enjoys poop humor. I love that giant X. They have on the street That's the same thing they have if you go to Dallas and you see where JFK was shot Thankfully, we got this a pooper film out of this one You you said horror convention? Yeah, so you're just a big fan. I like it and it just happened I was staying about a mile away and I was looking for something to do on Saturday

And there just happened to be a hard convention Eddie Munster was there Um which who do you think is it like Michael Myers Jason like who gets the best shot to get? To get laid there like who's the there's a lot of Michael Myers walking around so I would actually go with I would go with a Freddy Krueger and I think maybe a Chucky where like you make it clear you're a man under that under that Costume and you get a bang the chick from the exorcist. I think that would work. Yeah, just get head backwards So you're a guy are you a guy that does things like I'm just gonna go do this

I like doing shit by myself and I like traveling by by myself. And I got my OnlyFans to keep me company. So I'm never truly alone. But yeah, I like getting out and about. I don't like making plans when I show up. That's when I find shit to do. And yeah, that Hark! adventure was right up my alley. I got there, I walked around, I bought some cool things. I got to meet Freddy Krueger before,

so that was kind of like a pinnacle. Like the actual guy? Yeah, Robert Englund. Oh shit. Which had a little incident with him because they usher you in. There's so many people waiting to meet him that when you get in line it's like,

come on, come on, come on, let's get in, get out. But I think considering the amount of money that you had to pay, which I think was close to Washie Washie prices, I think it was like 180 or 150. Oh shit. Yeah, it was Robert Englund. Yeah, so they bring you in there and I brought my wife with me and

He's pulling me by my hoodie string and my wife is in front of him And he's saying back it up back it up back it up It's like back what up dude, and he's put and eventually like he pulls my wife into him Oh, then he's actively touching both of us at the same time pictures taken, and then we're both dismissed Where it's like my wife couldn't care less who Robert Englund is and it's like look, I've been a fan since I was seven years old when I shouldn't have seen the fucking movie. It's like if anybody should be told to back it up,

it should be me. What are the ladies dressing up as at the horror convention? It's slutty everything, man. Like Samara. Yeah, there's a lot of cosplay where it's like weird characters that I don't recognize. I recognize a lot of the 80s and 90s Horror stuff anything past that is kind of out of my pay grade. Yeah, but

Yeah, there's a there's a room that I didn't go into which really intrigued me It was like I don't know like horror after dark or something where it was partitioned off You had to get a bracelet to go in there and I did see some like ladies and tank tops walking around that look like They were you can pay them for what you wanted yet Who do you like if you like one of the horror guys like who do you find the most attractive? Whoever that Texas chainsaw massacre guy Leather face. Yeah leather face cry a leather face. My baby dad manages the brand like Texas chainsaw massacre oddly enough. What about that?

Massive franchise. Does he really? Yeah, yeah. That's a big deal. Shut up. Completely opposite of that. He's like his best buddies with the guy who wrote it, Son. And so they work together all the time, like keeping the brand alive and all this merch.

We have like a million Hawaiian shirts with chainsaws on them and all this crazy shit. Yeah. We always have like a Husqvarna in the garage whatever that chainsaw brand is and you were a big Emily Rose guy, right? Nah, no the exorcism of yeah. No Emily Rose. She does too scary for me. I don't like the devil What's what's like your speed? I mean, I love horror But like, I like more like shit that could happen. Like I love the strangers. That still scares me. Like a home invasion, KB, that could happen. Oh yeah, no, I prefer the ones that are realistic.

That could, yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's the shit that gets me. But if it's like, alright, you know, there's a devil, whatever. It could happen to Ed. Yeah, maybe, I suppose. Yeah, I'm with you. Strangers is the last horror movie I saw in the theater

that scared me while I was watching it, to the point where I was just checking behind me just to make sure everybody was still cool. Same. Because it was an afternoon show and there was maybe only three other weirdos in there with me. Dude, same exact experience.

You might have been behind me. Probably. Norwich Theater, like 08? Oh no, this was probably Grand Ronde Theatre in Philly shit Hereditary scared the shit out of me that was spooky very good especially when the faces emerged from the darkness toward the yeah Very good movie and then Blair Witch project. That's just because I thought that was a true story when I saw it Yeah, kid like I had to sleep on the floor in my parents room that night I was a little too young for that, but the night my dad watched it

Our neighbor stabbed his wife 19 times She's really the cops came to our door asking for a camcorder like your direct mate like what did you have like neighbors like right? next to you or they're like Yeah, they're right ass videos Yeah, we got a real yeah, they're right ass videos Two houses down, but like you know I could throw a pair of pants to his yard Yeah stab his wife Close to two dozen times and the cops needed proof they needed to film it They didn't have a camcorder of their own they didn't have the cops didn't have a we did

They didn't have a camcorder of their own they didn't have a cost and have a we did yeah We're taking over your community. I don't know what happened there, but um I just go to the bowers. They got one Did they tell you what happened when they asked for it? I wasn't there I was six I just have my dad's word, but yeah, I think they told him like we're gonna need Yeah, did you did they ever say what it was over? have my dad's word, but yeah, I think they told him. Like we're gonna need. Holy shit, man. Fuck. Did they ever say what it was over? The reason, I think the dude had suspicions. He's free now, so. What?

If he wants to hop on. And she's alive, by the way. Oh, she is. Oh, tough lady. All right, let me hear that. Butter knife? That is a good one. once you get to 19 yeah Human are resilient humans are resilient

It's got to be nuts like your wife's calling you a pussy after like the 17th 8th and 19th stab I still like killing her the worst case They say those are like rage killings right like like a certain one of stabs. I would say so like what way what? I'm a passion. Yeah, what stabbed do you think you're like fuck like this got the best of me? To stab that hits an artery yeah, this one got on my hand. I would much rather get shot than stabbed Yeah, but he called the cops. Oh Someone stabbed her 19 times There was a one of the Manson murders, I think was Susan Akin she said that

From stabbing Sharon Tate so many times at one point when it stabs it hit bone And she sprained her wrist and it sounded as though she was kind of looking for sympathy that she had a sprained wrist from the stabbing That happens a lot. It's tough work. From what I hear. Someone brought this up to me yesterday actually when Eddie had John Wayne Gacy's lawyer on his show one time it was riveting. He happened to grow up like around where we're from John Wayne Gacy.

What were some of the things that you tell about a confession was like just like rolled into his office It was like late at night and the guy was still there is like yeah, I gotta come by and he's just like All right, come by John. He had no idea that the guy was guy sits down He's like I just I have 33 boys in my basement my crawlspace or whatever. Wait, that's how it ended He admitted it. He like went to a lawyer and admitted it he admitted that to the lawyer yes, and then Like obviously the lawyer defended him and whatever but like I think they were closing in on him. They were closing in on him Yes, I don't know just hearing that come out of a man's mouth. Yeah would have to be Traumatic as hell yeah any number you saying you got any number of boys is like right chill. We had how many boys

I think he killed 33 30 and he had them in it. Oh, it's crawl space offense defense and reserve Too many as a lawyer as his lawyer do you think like? You're after the trials done when he's in Hawaii off that money does he feel a little bad like did he have guilt for I don't I mean, he's still going he's still practicing Yeah, he's like had some other like decently high-profile cases. I think But I think it was now I'm remembering it was in the paper that they were already looking for him He's like the boys missing he's in I just threw him in like the Desplains River He's in my basement or something like so that's kind of how he and the guys are whoa whoa whoa

He's like let me get you a of booze and let's talk this out. Yeah. And I think that's- Do lawyers typically, like, defense attorneys want to hear the details or they just rather stay like on the outside, be like- I'm curious about that. I mean, what you need to know. Yeah, do you-

Right. Like- I don't, I feel like, you know, they probably have to just go, if they're going to do it, they got to go balls to the wall. Like they got to know everything. Yeah. So they could defend against for their conscience. I would, yeah, I would assume not wanting to know to feel better about your ex. He just needed to tell someone. Yeah. Got to have a couple lawyers out there. Crime lawyers. Let us know Sure, they see the clown guy who would yeah But they were like like they were already following him like the FBI they were tailing him for like weeks before this

So he was gonna get caught like they were closing in on him He's a he's had some works of art that sold for some pretty pricey numbers And I think towards the end like he was just like he would put on outfits just to say they were worn by John Wayne Gacy just so they could sell them. Yeah, so he was cashing in and I think that was before they made the I Think it's the son of Sam law which prohibits them from directly profiting from their crimes Yeah, that would be weird But yeah, he's got some his shit's really scary. There's one in particular. I think this is like The the one that fetches the the highest price. But there's a

painting of his house, which is no longer there, the property still there, but like they demolish the house. But his house when he lived there, and he paid in himself as the clown peeking around the corner towards the street. Is he still alive? No, no, you got executed. Oh, yeah, I'm out of touch. I'm out of touch on my serial killers. His last words are kiss my ass. Oh, I didn't know. I was talking far too much about John Wayne.

Yeah. Are you really into that? Yeah, kind of. But like he's so local, too. Like we like it was like when we were kids, we were like, oh, let's like ride our bikes to the guy's house. Like just like a spooky thing. You know, what did you think? Did it give you any weird vibes? Yeah, like we were we were out there. We're just like we were dickheads just like Johnny home like just whatever and then like the neighbors came out to get out of here like so they were yeah

They probably deal with it all the time. Yeah, but yeah, it is kind of like eerie over there. Yeah When I went there it was creepy like it creeped me out Like there's so many different styles of architecture of the houses on that street Which I feel like you go through most neighborhoods. There's a consistent style. Yeah, that's one thing that stood out and I don't know I'm not a big, you know juju guy, but like it did feel a little bit strange And also there's a school close by that was kind of weird. Yeah, it's really so you're such a horror fan that one time You were in Chicago and you're like, I got to see this guy's house. No, I like, I like true crime too. And yeah, I guess he's like the most prominent like Chicago area true crime guy.

And I don't know, I think just going to these places just adds context that you can't normally get from reading a book or watching a video. And yeah, there's some places that I feel like they kind of get stained by what happens there. That no matter like, you know, what they do to try to rectify it or make it different, like the Gacy residence does seem like one of those places where it's like, I don't want to spend a lot of time here. This is way too weird. It's also a residential area and like you don't want to people know what you're

there for. For sure. I once did a day trip around New York city that you can do a car tour of all the major mafia hits. And I don't know, I was really into the mafia at the time for some reason. I was like reading all these books. We talked about the crossbow. I think Richard Kuklinski or something. He like, he was like a hit man for the mob, but he got so into killing, he just started

doing it for fun. And he went around with a crossbow and like, would just get somebody out to get their mail with a fucking crossbow. Like went crazy. Anyway, I don't know why I got so into it But I spent the whole day going from like the Bronx the Queens to whatever like I would just park and be like oh Okay, here's where like Big Don whatever was killed Let me get some McDonald's and then go over to where like whatever it's very that was a weird thing to do probably

No, dark tourism is like a big thing. Yeah, it was odd You didn't feel as bad because they were mafia guys like yeah, they knew the game anyway They weren't like exactly don't spook me out as much yeah more inspiring No, like it's fuck I gotta see that as their fate eventually like they kind of have to assume that the odds getting whacked Especially back then yeah for sure. I had an era. Do you know that the JCS like? True crime videos on YouTube. Yes, yeah. Breaks down, they show the full interrogation. And that's the most spooked I've ever been.

Just watching kids who just killed their families like stoically just say, yeah, I just. We're going scorpion mode today. We're going scorpion mode today. Yeah, sorry. Mark, Cody, you're awfully quiet over there. Oh shit, yeah. That shit's freaking me out.

I don't really know. I don't know much about this stuff John would have loved you No, he's well, yeah, I think no yeah, he'd be the only person ever returned Never mind he was just paying for a day's work My people still go to like Columbine. They have a cult following which is strange Yeah, let's go to like Columbine. They have a cult following which is strange. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go to Red Rocks or something else.

Probably better. My, we had a teacher at our school, like the building substitute was Jeffrey Dahmer's dad. Whoa. Oh, Dahmer's from Akron area. Yep, yep. So then I lived in a suburb of Akron. It was really weird. Like his dad, it was kind of sad honestly because like high school and middle school kids are

assholes so they would just try and get under his skin like if he was like stop talking in class He's like we'll tell your son to stop eating people This was at Wadsworth this was 2007 to 2011 he was the building so his dad was there in your era Yeah, he was ours. He was the like if he was the building sub So like if so-and-so need a science sub he was there and I would say I've genuinely felt bad Because there are kids that mean assholes his Yeah, kids are gonna harass the substitute teacher

Regardless and then when it's also a serial killers dad and I like twice as bad. He's not I don't know I I think you can't go by mr. Dahmer Yeah, yeah, was he mr. Dahmer? Mr. Dahmer who has Jeffrey's blood at your school teaching kids go by like mr. Smith or something You're telling us now, and he was a me mr. D It's got to be nuts like in the teachers lounge like watching him unzip his igloo seeing what he's gonna take out of it How's the family what's for lunch mr. Dahmer Yeah, Mr.. Dahmer you had mr. Dahmer at your school teacher. Yeah, he was your teacher

If you yes, he was the building sub at Wadsworth High School for however many years, and it was, I genuinely feel bad with how mean kids were. And it was confirmed as dad? Yes, he's from five minutes away. You sat in a classroom and you were instructed and led by Mr. Dahmer. Yeah, he was.

And probably in silence for a bit. Yeah. He disciplined you? I don't know. I was a good one. Would he go by Mr. D? Mr. Dahmer. Yeah, he was. Probably in silence for a bit. Yeah. He disciplined you? I don't know. I was a good one. Would he go by Mr. D? Mr. Dahmer. That's insane.

Did the school have to disclose anything to you guys? Or your parents? I just remember one incident where I saw him cry because you are, I don't know, the one thing I'll say is the Dahmer documentaries and videos, was there a show or something? Wait, sorry, what was Dahmer's thing again? He would eat people.

He was a bad one. He was consuming children. He would bring guys back to his apartment. There were some, there was one that got away and the police actually brought them back. That was an underage kid. But by and large it was like black male prostitutes. He would bring them back to his apartment, actually kind of nice if you ask me, but he would feed them Budwads or make them watch Exorcist 3. Oh god. So we had a whole thing. So very bad guy

Yeah, very sexy. Okay. Yes. It's hard to keep these guys straight sometimes. It is Yeah, okay, Lionel Domino. Yeah, Lionel Domine. He died in Medina, Ohio. I'm from Medina County December 5th 2023 he it says he was agonized about raising a serial killer which The show some shows portray that like the way he treated his son led him to Being a serial killer and then kids would call him out on that and I don't know I just know the guy when he was a teacher Oh my god, I was super old So his dad was quoted saying at one point while he's talking to his son

I had weird thoughts too in my childhood. You're just like me Jeff Amazingly all the times I should have been caught I never was Yeah, why wait that was a real thing. He said yeah, that was a quote that he said while talking to his son I'm not gonna lie Tate this makes the bar still after dark like keek stuff more fun No, no the guy who raised Jeffrey Dahmer mentors children for a living at your high school Right. I'm a hundred percent pot. Yeah, he was Lionel Dahmer was a math teacher and yeah, yeah Checks out yeah Adam and class and you run the nighttime show torturing people

I kept quiet for most of all you guys are talking about but I finally had to chime in I know one You've never said this on air. No, I think Jeffrey Dahmer went to Ohio State, too. I think yeah, there's a good Da a movie about his life like his early life called my friend Dahmer is he probably in it Is he's like cuz I only know him cuz he like grew up ten minutes away and all that he's a main one, right? Yeah, I'd put him in what he's the top Yeah, like Gacy Dahmer Bundy. Yeah. Yeah, it was the big three Mount Rushmore. Did you guys do like icebreakers? My dad likes the Cleveland Indians He wasn't the real teacher he was a sub and I would assume that he probably struggled to get work as

Lion I mean I guess you have to feel bad for him to a hundred percent pretty good extent I did And if you're a teacher working at that school you got to feel bad when you get sick like all right Sorry kids they're calling the dollars dad. It's like white lean on me Poor poor guy man. That's almost masochistic to like Somebody in that community had to have known and be like look we'll put you on the books for fucking 15 bucks an hour man just come and file some papers, but to subject them to that is Gotta be the reason profession you can it's like it's constant criticism And what is the extent of how you're able to deal with kids doing this?

It's like they're not gonna to kick kids out of school. They're probably not going to give them detention. But at some point, it's on you like change your name, move the boat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, and my job working at a house. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. Is there like a pride? Not even like a pride thing, but like, yeah, I would change my. I'd be the first to change my name from Dahmer.

Yeah, that's a wild. But like, why why didn't he you can't subject yourself to a hundred kids every single day and being like I'm mr. Dahmer and then everyone knows I don't know did he profit off Jeffrey's possession he wrote a book so mr. Dahmer yeah and what was like is the main I guess I think just explaining his story and just saying how like look he did the best he could and Dahmer did come from a broken home it but yeah, who knows man. I mean Jeff was killing like animals Yeah But they're all like some of these serial killers have had families and kids like do you think it'd be worse to be a serial killers?

Child or a serial killers dad? Oh great question, man Dad yeah, that's your baby boy reflects. Yeah, yeah, it reflects a lot more Yeah, that's gonna be like one of the worst fates yeah, but for like like I mean I know too much, but the BTK killer his daughter his daughter's like it's tough his daughter's well. She's struggling Yeah, I mean, I think she's like she like speaks about it now and stuff But like I can imagine be really hard for a while I saw a stand-up comedian that was worked at animal control with the BTK killer and said he was like such a dork

They all like roasted him all the time and then when they found out he was like a murderer they're like whoops That they all like roasted him all the time and then when they found out he was like a murderer they're like whoops You know how he got caught his is crazy This is um Kansas yes, you know this story for big cat to tune in How did he get caught? We've hijacked with murder we get Kyle. I'm sorry Danny. I'm into the Savior stars from inside go on He they told him that Something about sending it to the witch talk is that or something like that

He's like yeah, can I send this floppy disk like is it traceable they're like no it's not traceable. It was fucking traceable oh, yeah, that's it was a floppy disk right from his computer at his church and You how would you lie to me? Yeah? I know yeah, you would have got away with it. What are you doing exactly? Nobody had any idea He had some us. I mean aside from the murders that are obviously fucked up But like his pictures were some of the funniest things. When he would tie himself up dressed like a lady,

it's like, who are you doing this for, man? He's a sex-loving. This is a BTK guy? Yeah. Dennis Rader, I think. I always wonder what their wives, he's out again. What are you thinking?

I can't eat McDonald's without my wife knowing. I don't know how you could be a lady in your spare time and kill people. Would your wife approve of you getting a wishy washy now? Like would she see that as cheating or would she be like, oh, it's just a transaction? I would view it as a transaction, but out of respect, I think she would view it as cheating. Okay, that's fair.

But I don't know, man. To me, it's also nostalgic, so I would make that argument. Yeah. Put the McNabb jersey back on at downtown. Take it out of mothballs. Yeah, it's weird. In China, they don't really consider just going out to get a quick hand job as cheating.

It's kind of just like- Really? It's health. Yeah, I'm getting a massage, I'm releasing some stress, relieving stress. And like I think, at least I knew one Chinese person, he would do it as like a father-son activity with his dad. You know, yeah. Yeah, they would just go out and get a casual hand job

on the weekend together. In different parlor rooms? Yes, not in the same room. And these were, he wasn't a young kid, you know, he was probably like a 22 year old kid and his dad. Yeah. Some of that's... I think it's probably like a 22 year old kid and his dad yeah It's weird to go to the strip club with her dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't do it Why do you think of good?

Have you done So inadvertently I went on a soprano's tour and they bring it to the bottom thing yeah There's a little awkward, but like it's part of the tour like it wasn't like we shot it out. Hey, come on. Let's go to the Admiral See those tits on yeah, it was definitely awkward Yeah, oh yeah game time NHL playoffs are here and the only place to buy hard-to-get playoff tickets is game time the official ticketing partner of Barstool to buy hard to get playoff tickets is Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Bar Stool Sports with clear last minute deals all in prices, views from your seat and their lowest price guarantee. Game Time takes the guesswork out of buying NHL playoff tickets.

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What time is it everyone? Game time? Game time. No, two o'clock, one o'clock. Shit. All right. All right, back to serial killers. Golden Say Killer was a bad one too.

Yeah. Eddie's got the almanac. He's never been caught, right? No, they finally got him. Oh, they did. serial killers Golden say killer was a bad one, too He's got the almanac he's never been caught right now. They finally got all they did yeah, they got others in the day Yeah, but he was one that seemed like it was gonna get he was gonna get away with it Just cuz they didn't go anywhere there was um that great book I'll be going in the dark that Pat Oswald sex wife wrote Michelle McNamara. Yeah, and dude did you read that a yeah? wife wrote, Michelle McNamara. And dude, did you read that? Yeah. Probably twice. Yeah, okay.

I bought it. Front to back. I'm bad at reading. Well, there was a- I had the attention. I'm with you though. But there was a part in the beginning of the book that's still like, it gives me goosebumps now

even talking about it, where a victim was like recounting, encountering the gold state killer in their home in the middle of the night. And this kid said they woke up and they were just gonna go to the bathroom. And they were exiting their room, they looked down the other end of the hallway, and Golden State Killer's standing there

wearing a hood and a belt with nothing else on, and he's got like a machete attached to the belt. And then they're standing there looking at each other and then the Beat or the the Golden State killer says do you want to come see me play tricks with your parents? Oh Yeah, dude, what years were there? No, thanks. This was sometime in the 70s. I think Harder now, right? Oh, yeah, you can't Mean there are there might be one in New England right now. Oh. Yeah.

Might be one here. Are they up to? There might be one here in Chicago. Oh, yeah, because all the guys that fall into the lake and stuff. That's everywhere. Great lakes adjacent. Yeah.

Smiley face. The smiley face shit. Yeah. Eddie's probably out in the streets looking for him. I had the detective on, but I don't know if I buy that one. So the weather's starting to break. It's going to be pretty nice over the next course of the week. That's Cody with the weather.

We need May. Come on, what is this city? This is what it is, man. It is a little depressing at this point. You've got to give us May. But I think people, like I remember, Hank was taunting the the weather guys I'm like dude don't do that because it's like oh Chicago winters. I've said before I went on a long tangent

It's just misinterpreted people think we hate the weather because it's like so much colder than everywhere else No, it's just just lags on you don't have a spring like when it's supposed you get you get teased too much You get an 80 degree day the next month. You're seeing nothing before he's in 50s Yeah, it's the false. Hope yeah No, I mean it looks like Thursday on it's gonna be beautiful. Let's go gonna finally break. Yeah, it's breaking Heard that one before Don don't fall for it man. I'm trying a new fashion this season boys get ready We try not what's in your bag Mexico trip I was wearing bikinis. I never do that. And I was just like flop.

I'm like that. You got to be able to pop it out. What? Just Fupa crush off. I said, I don't care. Tram stamp out. I think I'm. Yeah, you said you're going to do bikinis.

I'm not bikini, but I think I'm going to like, stems out. Stems out. That's the way to go. You might see a midriff. OK. OK? Eyes closed. I'm like all about the let it all hang out movement. like stems out. Stems out? That's the way to go. You might see a midriff. Okay. Okay? Eyes closed.

I'm like all about the let it all hang out movement. Stop acting like you have floppables. I got floppables right now. Nothing flops. I'm like, my abs split in half after the last break. These are my organs. Nothing spills though. It's pretty hot.

Just own it. Yeah, I'm owning it. It's like owning it summer. I'm trying new stuff. Market girls owning it summer. I feel like I'm gonna, I wore a skirt on here once last year and everybody was like. You mentioned one thing we did say they were. It was like an ankle length skirt

and you guys were like okay, sly. Well, you weren't wearing underwear. That's true, that's true. But I think you can make this lucrative. Like you mentioned FUPA. Would you consider getting like, Robeck to sponsor your fupa? Yes, I'll get a tattooed right across.

Yeah. That's what they want. A reverse quarter zip that unzips this way, so it doesn't hang out on the back. But you don't have a fupa. You just have an upper pussy area. It isn't fat. You're right, it's, well, well no I have like some fly like a

seas classic c-section scar I could see in a strip club speaking of tattoos across their sponsor did you guys hear Stefan just got a tattoo of a Chinese restaurant on his body and I was planning on doing that and then oh no It was a known thing. It was a known thing if you got their tattoo And I think they're the logo of the restaurant. It just is friendship in Chinese characters, okay, so not the worst tattoo you get free crab ragoons for life It is it's like a 17 minute drive from my place So I was like I don't think like I'll get the tattoo and then never go

But I was very close to getting it and then Nick Teraney was gonna get it too just because he likes tattoos but he's gluten free so he wasn't gonna be eating the Rangoon. He has he has the tattoo I asked him, I was like did you have to get it in any specific location? He said you could choose anywhere on your body to get this tattoo and I think he got it like visible on his arm which I would consider to be crazy did it have to be a certain size could be no he's like I don't know he was all yeah it was called friendship Chinese restaurant nice and you just had to get the friendship tatted or yeah so if you click friendship restaurant you'll see their logo there so yeah I think it was

just that red thing against everything I know about Stefan. Yeah, he must really like Oh here he is show it off. Oh, yeah, take your shirt off dude here come here I would love to see it because I'm very pissed. I didn't get it myself Show us the tattoo disembark from your clothes. You don't have a shirt. I don't have a shirt underneath your sweatshirt What the fuck and it's a way to take your arm out of your sweat insane It was the weirdest way you could have showed a way turn more towards the shown the other tattoo. That's perfectly Stefan So what does it do Stefan? Stefan come here

Now have you tried their crab ragoons before because that was also a thing I'd never tried theirs so yes I ate there once take out like a year ago. It was good. I will say though. It's not eating there once It was free tattoo. I don't care so basically it was You can only get you know You get you get one free appetizer when you go it can be any appetizer their crab and goons are very good It's more of a fancier Chinese place, more like sit down. It's still American, very Americanized Chinese, but like good quality.

It's really just like an $11 coupon every time you go. But you live kinda close to it? Yeah, so I'm a couple neighborhoods away from Logan Square, but I'm moving closer to Logan Square, so it's a couple neighborhoods away from Logan Square, but I'm moving closer Logan Square So it's gonna work out perfectly. Is it are you able to do carry out I Would assume so cuz like as long as you pay for other shit They don't care and you how do you present so you present your tattoo to them? Yeah, like I went right after and it was still very bloody. That's so did they like

No, he's so the owner the owner was very excited. So you went right after the... Oh yeah, because the tattoo parlor is right next door. You're probably hungry. I'm sure that was part of the appeal. So I go there and then we went right after and he hasn't made full plans yet but he wants to, everyone who got got the tattoo to do like a big Christmas party Everybody comes in in a drag who drinks fuck. Yeah, yearly Christmas party celebrate whoever got his tattoo. So How long have you had the tattoo? About two weeks now how many times have you went for free Rangoon's just once but I'm planning on when I move a little closer To go several. Yeah, sorry. What's the you only get like five at a time or something? It's only one free. So like I said, it's really just like an $11 coupon every time.

But I mean, in your lifetime, that could save you forever. Thousands of dollars. Yeah. The Pantheon of favorite foods, like where is crab ring? Crab ring is right up there. My guy.

Oh yeah. How often are you shirtless under your hoodies to be honest most of the time smell crazy under there no I just don't like the extra shirt if I don't need it do you do it because you think it's normal or you do it because because no one's gonna ever question it today was a congrats imagine being the the first guy like it's your first day at the restaurant and the guys like I'd like to redeem my coupon It's still bleeding Every time you go you just get your free appetizer leave zero tip and leave

Never get anything else. Yeah a new tattoo for the tip That's the start of his arm sleeve. He's gonna work it out. Just all the food established. Yeah. He's gonna be looking like a NASCAR for restaurants. I guess that's a good deal, right? I don't think so.

I don't think so. I think for access to the Christmas party, I love that. A special party just for the people with those tattoos. I did expect it to be amongst other tattoos that being the only yeah Yeah, like that was ice breakthrough tattoo I know that you guys probably couldn't see but it was literally a not a smiley face, but it's just a face going Like it was a step. Yeah that face. Yeah that face like the straight across Yeah, you got at least have like a dead grandmother. Yeah, yeah, I think it's cool

I think it's a cool when you have friends come visit in town And you take me to this place and you're like watch this and you flash your tat and get free goons Fun talking point, but like if you're not a tattoo guy and you you get that you have to you're living there in that city For quite a while in order to get your money's worth Even living close to the restaurant it's more convenient it sounded like it was crab raccoons yeah yeah i think as a whole i think white people they just shut down like two years from now but it's good for life like as long as that restaurant's open you can get free crab but it's yeah it's you still have to order something

is my only like i would do a i don't tattoos. I would do a tattoo for something like lucrative for food a hundred percent We know I would but that's not value Yeah, that's value. He could walk in and just get free ragoons He could walk in with zero dollars and just with that tattoo walk out with food Did the tattoo just say friendship or did it say friendship restaurant? Because it matters. matters yeah play it off I got a friendship tattoo. It's also like a restaurant, and it's also Appetizer of your choice. Oh, okay changes everything I do think as a whole white people getting Chinese tattoos is kind of trashy

Yeah, I was able to get out of jury duty once Because I just really didn't it. I didn't have time to do jury duty at that point. And so the judge was like, if anyone feels like they're biased in this case, please raise your hand. I raised my hand, walked up and he's like, what's the deal? And I'm like, well, one of the guys involved has a Chinese neck tattoo. And in my experience, those guys are usually scumbags. And he was like, are you being usually scumbags. He was like

Yeah, I just I've known some white dudes and they're not good people and he like he looked annoyed he was like, alright I guess I can't let you sit on this case No really shame took I I I didn't end up doing it. I got on in a buzzer beater actually I was still in school So I told they like say what's your case like if you can't do this whatever it's like well I am in school full-time blah blah blah, and then I was the last name He called I got summoned and I was like hey wait like finals is coming up and everything He's like alright, and one guy who got out last second like sir Gregory or whatever you're gonna stay but there was one guy was like a

Negligence case for the hospital and he was just like ah yeah I think I'm gonna be biased my parents are doctors And he was just like really you can't even make your own decisions and like have a fair trial here So yeah, I gotta really be ready if you're saying you can't do it. It'll shame you to death Jerry Do two kind of rules you get like a four-hour lunch every day I had it in the Bronx, and I would like get a giant pastrami sandwich I'd walk down to Yankee Stadium and hang out in the park. I like really loved it. You have a cat's deli tattoo right here Yeah, yeah, we have free appetizer free free. So you just like hanging on the Bronx. Yeah

Like minimum work you didn't have to really think you still getting paid for work you, you got super long breaks. As opposed to going to Barstool sports? No, no, this is when I had it different, this was like way before Barstool. But yeah, it's not too bad. I had a interesting one, I was so close I guess to being on a kind of a really gross trial I guess I was told, they prepped us for like three hours They told us this is gonna be really really hard to hear

It was something with like a child and whatever and the guy really wanted to go to trial Like he's like I I want to speak on this. I'm representing myself And then finally he showed up right before the trial fool burger king uniform visor everything he looked in saw the all the jurors and was like I didn't know I was gonna have to speak in front of people the guy who did the guy who did it was gonna he thought he was like talking to like the judge whatever he's like I don't want people to hear this and he pled guilty right away so like have it your way but he was in a fool oh he's

throwing the towel yeah he literally looked in he was able to like gotten nervous news, and it was my only time ever doing it It was like they were like this is gonna be bad. This is one of our worst ones It's like nine year old whatever adult and then he showed up fool burger king of Tyre and said no I'm not he looked in saw you was like is that Domers protege? For murder no it was it was definitely something gross with a child. I was gonna say, Jesus. Oh man. But it would have been my first time in the courtroom. I was fired up.

Did they take his crown? White Sox Dave won a punt pass and kick contest in Northwestern. And he could have either gotten a loaded visa for like 500 bucks, or free Buffalo Wild Wings for a year. Oh, whoa, wait. Yeah. He did that? And he chose free Buffalo Wild Wings.

Hell yeah, you do. Yeah. But it was only a coupon for six wings once a month. Oh. Like, at like select locations. He got railroaded. Yeah, it was a bad, it was a bad. He chose that over $500. Yeah, bad? Bad he chose that over $500

Exactly you would choose that over 500 tape six wings Well, he didn't know that at the time but even if like get the money and go buy by wildings if you want it I won the ESPN Cleveland pulled pork chow down when I was like, yeah you did. Yeah, I did and You want to? I was skinny too But I was I was a little competitive eater and I won three free Dickie's barbecue for a year I went to that place all the fucking time like no strings attached It was it was once a week and I used it 52 times

How many food competitions have you been in outside of our Ben? I have pictures I did a wing but at the Cleveland Wing Bowl pulled pork chow down ESPN Cleveland I was like the three-time defending st. Joe's festival blueberry pie eating champion. So you're a competitive eater I was it was but it was when I was skinny Still now, I don't know. Yeah, I can eat what inspired you It I'll tell you what it was is I went to the st. Joe's fest and they were looking for a blueberry pie eating contestants And so I was like all right I'll do it i was like 19 and i smoked everyone i'll be and they, were like wait you might actually be pretty good at this

Damned you, oh so are you good at eating i mean i was i've won a couple yeah yeah you have titles It's got a showcase Dave won a punt pass and kick yeah as like a man competing against children or no I think child itself. I think it's just you're facing yourself So you make the field at the end yeah So like you start at the 20 you punt it you pass it and then you got to kick a field goal for however But the distance was that's left. I'm surprised. He doesn't flaunt that more. Oh he will yeah, yeah, could you guys do that? Starting at the 20. Yeah, so you got to punt it and then you know how no no shot hunt or kick

To make the kick you really got to get to like the five Yeah, I Won the Applebee's all you can tweet riblets contest back in the day right like right before barstool And they give you like a $500 gift card to Applebee's and me and my friend were like, let's go blow it in one meal. Let's see if we can spend all 500. So we got like, we have like martini,

all stuff you wouldn't normally order there. Like they're like, bring us all your highest end drinks, all your food, blah, blah, blah. And by the time, it was like, the bill was at like $112. We were like, fuck, we're never gonna make it it so we gave it to the table next we're like here you guys I should have saved it but it's really hard to spend that much it Applebee's there's that challenge I haven't seen anyone do it but they say

could you eat a thousand dollars of McDonald's in 24 hours and then you get like a certain amount of money if you know no way No, right. No, no way Just now No, like you hosted an event at the Shady Maple smorgasbord. Yeah, he's the real PA I mean that's how to like hold that up. What was the event? So we have a dad meat breakfastmeat is one of my podcasts. We have it every day after the Super Bowl and we started the day after the, I forget what number Super Bowl it was, where the Eagles lost against the Chiefs. So it was a

friggin nightmare that day. But for three years running we've done it this year much better circumstances. The birds won the night before so it's a chance for us to bond with our listeners and everybody's invited to show up and we give out awards to everybody Not to everybody but certain people that are that are deserving. We are a plumber heavy listener group so we have plumber of the year is one of the awards electrician of the year The we gave out the Casey Anthony OJ Simpson Renaissance man award nice, so yeah, there's something Yeah, we gave out a retarded the year award. Yeah, yeah, and the nominees all showed up, dude We had so many contenders for retarded the year, man. It was really difficult

It really felt like I don't know I felt like Steve Harvey like when he flubbed up the the Miss Universe pageant Mm-hmm. It's like man I just don't know how it's gonna go but the guy that won this year's retarded the year God bless his heart Chris trainer plumber by the way Chris trainer. Yeah, yeah Yeah, oh he was but he was he up for plumber of the year um I don't think he was nominated We had some pretty heavy-duty good yeah, but clarifying question. Yeah When you give out that award are you giving it? Are you giving it to people with Down syndrome or never okay that's crazy no no no it's all it's all guys like me who are titted up middle-aged men who just really live and eat like every day is

their last and like they have dead parents and and we had a good run man tough February yeah my parents died like two weeks after the Super Bowl but they got to see Cooper de Jean run back a pick six. So all things considered, you know, sorry Yeah, thank you brother. They had a good run though But I am back to the retard Lot of competition and we give out a golden helmet every year So the the winner gets the golden helmet and Chris trainer really got it this year his brother Mike won previous years two years in a row Yeah, he had a he had a chance of the three Pete this year, but it wasn't in the cards man the crazy

It's at this giant like Mennonite buffet the size of a Walmart. It's shady maples kind of like this Legendary area and then to see like it's like a lot of families very wholesome tons of old people get busted and like people Like there's buses parked out front towards blah blah blah. And it was like they're a podcast banner which is two dudes sucking each other off. And it's like the Dad Meet Awards in the back of this buffet. It's very funny.

Yeah, my friend Tim Butterly, the funniest guy on the planet, he might be the only person on the planet that'll give into, we share a lot of similar ideas and he's somebody who I love dearly who would be into something like this with me. And it's three years running and it really is just a nice time, a nice time for people to come hang out, to just have fun.

How many people show up? I think this year we had like 80. Oh my God. So it's gone from like 30 to like 50 to like 80. So next year, we're hoping to break 100. We're gonna have more awards to give out and next year I'm gonna give it a golden piece of drywall So if any drywallers are out there listening, please I promise you will lock the doors

So ice will have no chance of getting in there Just come you're welcome and everybody just come out and have a good time and shady maple is so friggin good, man Yeah, I've had cheese there Really? Yeah What kind of cheese we various che? Various cheeses there. Various cheeses there? That's good. My favorite food. Everything you want. Whoopie pies. Yeah. Oh baby. Danny, what you got? Steven Singer. Yeah. Oh yeah. Do you call your mom every day or just on special occasions or once in a blue moon? Ed, Steven Singer Jewelers wants to help you tell the moms in your life every single day how

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How often you guys wear a life vest chase dying to know I mean if I was che it would be daily Oh, yeah, I'm gonna swims a life jacket. Oh Okay, che makes this oh, oh, yeah, every time he swims a lifejacket. Oh Okay, Che makes this oh Oh, yeah He also asked what's your favorite body of water? Ocean Lake Bay or other I Mean I'm an ocean guy. I think it's hilarious that white Sox Dave claims. He hates large bodies of water Meanwhile he just flew to Italy to go to a lake

hates large bodies of water. Meanwhile, he just flew to Italy to go to a lake. Yeah, he said it was overrated, too. Oh, he did? Well, not overrated. He just said he didn't care for it. I have a question. Which animal dominates the market more generally? So we're talking mascots, brands, logos, et cetera.

Tiger or bear? When you say dominate, you mean just by volume of numbers or like how the quality of these brands? Numbers. So what's more prevalent? Bears or tigers? Bears have Coca-Cola

Klondike Smokey the bear? Fires. Chicago bear. Chicago bear's let's get into tigers now craft Austin Bruins or bears The tiger you also got woods Detroit Tigers LSU Tigers. Oh the Tigers dominate the mascots There's the tiger mascots, but if we're talking about non sport we're talking about high schools included Brandon We're talking about high schools included. Brandon. But what about bears not even adjacent, like grizzlies? A grizzly would count as a bear.

Kraft peanut butter. What are you saying? They have some chewing tobacco. Yeah, you're right, grizzly. Grizzly winter grizzly. You think a tiger tobacco would sell? Panda bear all kind of. Tiger's big in dick pills, I think oh yeah like rhino and tiger like tiger blast

Yeah, the more threatening animal better the dick. Yeah. Yeah, where else yeah, where else are tigers showing up in the food game though? Tiger bomb, but that's not food bears probably have a lot of steak houses Yeah, you said Tony right Tony bears have more movies Yeah, you said Tony right Tony bears have more movies Do they the country bears? That's actually a really good live action Tigers get life a pie Yeah, there's a tiger in there too though for what it's worth Shit grizzly man grizzly man is tiger can't bear grills the revenant bad news bears

true bear arms I The Revenant, Bad News Bears. True. Bear Arms. I feel like people hang out with bears more. Yeah, fucking bear arms. Two way. Russian people are like driving in their cars with bears. Yeah, some people just manage to make friends out of bears. They've been vodka over there. Oh, we got it. They hit them and correct them.

Tiger King really did blow my mind. When that came out. Tiger King popped off. to make friends out of theirs. They've been vodka over there. Oh, we got it. They hit them and correct them. Tiger King really did blow my mind. When that came out. Tiger King popped off. I've been trapped in my apartment for so long, that I thought that was the best thing I'd ever seen. Wait, does that say 2010 is when Tigers popped off? That was Mr. Woods. Oh.

Oh. Maybe. But yeah, it seems like overall, That's pretty similar. Bears have the edge. Fat Bear week. Gay community. Bears.

There's no tiger in the gay community? I don't know. Seems like a niche. Yeah, there's gotta be. Free and royal. There has to be. They've got a market for everything. There's gotta be.

What is the ideal miles per hour to drive in a suburb? Jay wrote that All right if you had okay you have to create a Starting five NBA roster, but you can only use players that all have the same first name LeBron's out Kevin it's gonna be Mike so I feel like Michael would be favorited who would Michael got Mike Conley, baby Michael obviously Jordan. Oh Michael. Maybe throw Jordan in there. I was gonna say, is it Michael still, even if you exclude Michael Jordan?

Kevin Durant, Kevin Garnett, Kevin Love. Ooh, Kevin. Yeah, Kevin's good. Kevin. McAllister. McHale. I do really love him. McAllister.

McHale's good. You think Kevin could beat Mike? I would like to see a five on five. Best Kev Kevin's on best Mike's that's a good argument for Kevin who else we got For Mike like Conley you can even have like I mean there's a lot of junior like you have great role players I think if you go straight white guys you could probably get a lot of Scots Yeah Who's Scott got so we got Scott Brooks? Scott Pollard

Scotty Pippen Scott Skyles also Skyles did play Scott Skyles I Think if you're going by letter J might be the best in NBA There's a lot of good J's out there. Oh just the first L has doctor I go jailing There's a lot of good J's out there. Oh just the first L has doctor I go Jalen I'm gonna look up most how many times you're you guys wearing a lifejacket Does it make you feel like a bitch or do you know you feel better because you're safe? Well, is anyone ever wearing a lifejacket unless you're forced? You don't that's not like an optional thing. Yeah life jackets are like condoms. It's like I

Went to a bachelorette party in the middle of nowhere, Indiana on some lake where we're pontooning And you put them on upside down like a diaper and you bob around like a bobber in the water And it's delightful highly recommend frozen grapes with whiskey have people throwing them to you like you're a little Okay in the water Upside down life jacket we are sleeping on that is the way to go Kids like they basically have life jackets now is there instead of the floaties instead of learning how to oh yeah Like we just had the floaties, and you could just fall on your face They were super dangerous. Yeah, they got these like chest protectors that are like bulletproof the Chicago pools. It's got to be there's like

Like us Coast Guard approved life jackets for kids and like they won't unless it's like that kind They won't let your kid in the pool. Oh like random kinds They have to be like a specific kind that doesn't flip them forward Yeah, it's drowned too much My son always fights more so like and There's a lot of grown adults like who drown just because they never learned how to swim which is a think a serious problem I think that's like the first skill you should learn as a kid Yes, or did they drown in like oceans or they just like happen to fall off a boat or something and Never learned how to swim

It's also really tiring if you're out of shape like yeah You just gotta learn how to float you don't necessarily have to swim And if you just breathe back and forth you'll just float naturally. I think people panic like I different yeah That's exactly what happened high school He never learned how to swim which is crazy And he was in a canoe with another buddy and I started going down and the look on his face was like this is the end Yeah, you know it's like now. You're like you're not in a big body of water. You'll be fine I feel like it's almost instinctual like to keep yourself afloat for at least enough time to

Get back to the boat you would think but they say drownings very silent But they say drownings very silent. Yeah Because Like they in the movies portray it like you're oh Yeah, lapping around because once you swallow the water you're not saying anything You think if you were to drown you don't like fight you like stop fighting. That's what I say I've been told the movie interpretation is not correct I saw a video from some like tourist spot in Italy and a teen was like clearly but after he wasn't making a fuss and it was because he was like too embarrassed. He they say they

ended up saving him but you can see him and he's like playing it cool and he's not like making a scene but like he's definitely and but thankfully like people were smart enough to jump in but afterwards it was like he like all these everybody was like embarrassed to like I'm going down fighting. Yeah, I'm throwing hands everywhere Kickin I could I could heavily relate to that though you ever been choking and you're like alright It's a lot of people are we getting to the point where I need someone to help me or I think I'd rather I'm just gonna die in real. Yeah, or ask for help Yeah, you got to put your hands around your neck when you need help. That's when you break out the Heimlich

It is like it. I was dying in a car It took me like 20 minutes to finally ask Jeff Lowe to take me to a hospital because that's the most embarrassing thing what was going on I was I was dying Yeah, and I got a brownie. Yeah, I had a bad weed brownie and we've all been there. I was dying. Yeah, and I got saved. A weed brownie? Yeah, I had a bad weed brownie. We've all been there. I needed. Yeah, I mean that is kind of embarrassing though.

So like, I can see your face. We're on the inner, on the jersey. Walk me through this, like how did it progress to the point where you knew you needed to like go to the hospital? I was freaking out silently for like 20 minutes and it's like, my head. I'm like Am I really gonna ask Jeff to take me to the hospital left like with no signs of distress

abruptly And I was a rehearsing it in my head, and I was like that. That's so whack. Let's check out this hospital Like your heart pounding or you your brain I was like you're gonna the first request was like too nice So you like oh, you're good, man, and then I had to then plead Yeah It's crazy cuz like it probably is having you before but there's no convincing your brain in that moment that you're fine, right? You know you as self-aware as you could be on an audible. Yeah, you got to be like I could be having a stroke Have you smoked since I?

Was doing it every day after that you once you get to that point like fear loses its function Yeah, I even accepted my fate. I was thinking about like what's my Facebook wall gonna look like I? Don't I don't use it anymore. What if it's only like two RIPs? They'll sometimes now, if you die instead of a Facebook, they'll put like remembering for your name. Oh wow. That'd be nice. Once you got to the hospital, did you just have to tell them like, hey, I took an edible

and I'm like high out of my mind, I'm freaking out? Or like, what did you tell them? As soon as they kind of like looked at me like? What is this? Yeah, I didn't rush me to the hospital room. I I was like oh, I'm good panic gone They give you like a knife here Break out the Narcan skies on heroin Has anyone ever died from that? Like like weed like people do have the panic attack, and then they go to the hospital. But it's never a thing. I think if you're like two years old and you

find your parents weed gummies, you could potentially die from that. But no, I think it's very rare. Just a panic attack. Yeah. Or you go into like a deep, deep sleep, like almost coma for a day or two. Nice. That's a good high. Yeah. When you were hashtag on perks, did you go to the hospital at any time? Or like, no, you're pretty good.

There was one night, this was the only night where I had any kind of serious health implications. I had been taking children's painkillers, because I was out of mine, and I knew that, I took a shot in the dark that my sister might have had some, she's like, no, but I have my nieces left over from a surgery she had, I was like, yeah, I'll take them.

So I was taking children's painkillers with toluamide all day, and I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't breathe, and I just asked my wife to call an ambulance, and she's just like, what the fuck, man? And they took me, and I was taking them because I had a toothache And when I got to the hospital the guys like why are you taking so many painkillers?

I was like I got a toothache. He's like okay, and he ended up giving me a prescription for more painkillers From that yeah So I got ten big boy painkillers in addition to all the kid ones. I had left over. Yeah, it was a good profit Yeah, that worked out well But were you actually unable to breathe or was it a panic attack? I don't know like when I when I got to the hospital they just they kind of humored me They put the little oxygen on which I think it's kind of like when a kid hands you like a cookie They made in their kitchen. You're like, I'm

So like yeah, I wasn't like, you know, I don't know. Maybe my my heart rate might have been slowed But I think that's natural when you take painkillers Cody you seem like a guy who would freak out on weed. Do you have any stories like that? I've never taken a pill in my life. Okay, what about weed? Wait, so never like a Tylenol? Take chewable aspirin.

Come on. Actually? Yeah. Take a Motrin? Can we like go over the list of things you haven't done before? So I know you had never tried seafood before moving here Right still haven't still haven't categorically right seafood. No no never had it have never swallowed a pill

You've only chewed yeah, correct What's why? Don't know just never needed them. What's uh what's another type of common food you've never tried I? What's uh what's another type of common food you've never tried I? Had Chinese food for the first time last year have you ever had smoked salmon nope oh yeah, that's easy Have you I feel like it's not that crazy. I think there's stuff all of us in this room have not had That's like a very broad category general is insanely broad. I mean I I get it you grew up in Buffalo, New York, but shrimp cocktail has had to have crossed your desk before yeah

What the hell is this You gotta go. How about you go get that tattoo so you can load up on some crab right? Yeah, I mean I would try it It's just not it's not that I've don't like it. I've never tried You've never been even presented it. Let's cross my desk, but I'm like I'm already doing something else Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yeah inhaled sweet Yeah, that's a little fun fact about me. Hmm You seem stumped. I I'm trying to think of something else that you haven't tried. Cocaine. Nope. Good for you. Thank you. Are you willing to take a lie detector test? We're proud of you. Yeah man. Not even a fish stick? I've been trying different things. Not even a fish stick?

No. I had steak the first time. Steak for the first time? a couple years ago. What do you usually? Pizza chicken chicken tenders and fries now. I eat like a good palette of things just not expansive You a dino nugget man to used to be yeah, yeah Yeah, have you ever tried Thai food? No, I never Have you ever more casual? Get this guy culture Donnie. Oh damn. I like that. We got to go on a culture tour. Yeah, I mean, let's do it I'll try whatever all right sweet. What were you like not try? What are you like? I don't the thing is I don't know like if I could try like if I won't like it I've never tried it mm-hmm. I have no formed opinion on it

So yeah, but like he's he's getting scared scared of calamari like he's turning that down right away Maybe yeah, I was at a restaurant with him last week And we had oyster roasted oysters on the table and a grilled octopus, and he looked good He declined both. Why did you decline if it looked good? Ah? How's you know my other shit? But you had to get to a point where I should try this or you're too afraid I think I've just passed the like the point of like being able to try it's like what I just keep going without not Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I don't eat. I had like fish sticks. Maybe twice as a kid and then

When I was trying to trick Pat into thinking I was cool. I tried as cargo. I was like yeah I'm cool like this I try this stuff. I was lying But other than that I've had like I tried escargot. And I was like, yeah, I'm cool with this. I tried this stuff, I was lying. But other than that, I've had fish less than five times in my life. And even if it looks good, I can't. I have such a wall in my head now, I can't do it. Like we never, my entire life growing up, we never got delivery once.

The only kind of different food we have is pizza. I never tried Chinese food till I was in college. I remember getting beef on a stick and being like, holy fuck, what is this? This rules. Yeah, we ain't that different. Yeah. I didn't.

But yeah, I didn't try Indian food or Thai food until probably in the last five or six years. Wow, geez, you two would have a cutthroat game of have I ever. I grew up in a hamburger helper house, is all I can explain it. We ate so much dinty more stew from the can. It's still my favorite never play you two play never have I right now five fingers up

You guys name stuff and we'll play okay Yeah, you guys never done start off with what we talked about yeah might as well get seafood out of the way That's a huge. Yeah seafood nut I've never touched a shrimp or crab or a. Alright so you start to say never have I ever. Never have I ever eaten lobster. Neither has he. Yeah I can't do it, it freaks me out.

Never have I ever had papaya. Oh, I don't think I have had papaya. I've had papaya dog in New York City. That's not a papaya. Don't never have I ever had a Come quad. I don't know what that is Riveting never have I ever had sex I Was gonna say you know who shocker for me put a finger down Yeah, this is bad. We're gonna be here all day

I get it. Yeah, I told you have you ever had brie cheese No, I don't know what that is okay cheese even mushrooms like I like I'm trying to get into it and I Normal mushrooms that I can't I never had an onion That's why I'm forcing my kids to try. You've never had an onion? Or tomato? No. This is, I mean I think Glennie Balls was bad

when he said he had never had a raspberry or beef jerky, but I think a tomato or an onion is. So you have to be actively avoiding that. You have to have picked out the onions and tomatoes then. Yeah. Sandwiches, salad, you pick them out. Like if I get a burger, I'll just get a burger with cheese and like sauce.

No onion. Lettuce. Dude cries enough already. But you like pizza? Love pizza, yeah. That's tomato. Well not like a tomato slice that you'd have, yeah. Wow, okay.

Have you had an avocado? No way. Yes. Oh wow, that's probably the most exotic have was driving kind of the best that's 250 for you yeah but uh yeah so I'm learning I'm getting better pork belly nope Tate have we talked about the stream since you last came on and started it how long did it end up taking 17 hours is that the longest one yet um Dana's the Dana The Dana Beers. So the Dana Beers one was 16 consecutive hours. Uh that one this was seven and then 10. So the Dana

Beers one took a lot out of me. Uh yeah. He runs a stream once a week where they have to do like really difficult challenge and sometimes it takes how many hours 17? Yeah we thought it was going to be easy and it was not. It's funny you bring this up because I was just asked a mook an hour and a half ago like what's the longest stream he did and he was talking about doing a 12 hour stream. Like at what point did like psychosis start to set in for you? So this previous one that we just had you know like at the half time or end of a quarter of a basketball game a fan might go out there and you have to make a layup, a free throw,

a three pointer half court shot. We did that with golf though. That's nuts. But ultimately what I was doing was I was just putting 4,500 times. So it sucked but it was not even close to the worst thing that we've, like Kyle and I did one that might have been the worst one. We had to lose 30 pounds as a group three of us we weren't allowed to leave until we stepped on the scale and had lost 30 pounds how long did that take what do you think it took how's a wrestle like to Mike were you I wrestled for like a month and I got destroyed like in like five consecutive matches and I was like

right I'm out And you're in a hotbed. Do you have cauliflower here? Yeah from jujitsu. Oh nice. Yeah It's like what seven out? Yeah, like six out six hours. Yeah, we put on sweatsuits and took laxatives and It was tough. What did it more for you guys the the sweating or the pooping? I Took two laxatives and didn't poop so the sweatings. Yeah Yeah, the sweating is the way you got to just sweat He was like sprinting on the treadmill like draining water and I was just like trying to puke and poop Can you tease the next one?

Yeah Excited about Wednesday Wednesday. So we have a producer that is a I don't know I won't say too much, but he loves torturing us every week. This is a rolls reverse stream So now we everyone in the office is coming up with different ways to get back at him So that's Wednesday night rolls reverse stream. I know we got a lot of people from the yak involved as well Special guest mr. Dahmer Mr. Dahmer Fucked you once not hold on literally yeah, maybe oh no cold fry guy That was fucked up

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The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY467369. Yours. jurisdiction void in Ontario new customers only bonus best expire 168 hours after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources see dkng.co slash audio bet gala tonight fat gal tonight tune in tweet about it make some bets bet gal right Kyle yeah predictions on the outfits boys anyone got a red carpet event how many people from Bartlett? A lot. Mincy, Megan, Jersey Jerry, PFT. Half of the show. Titus. You know, Titus.

Half the company is in Arizona at this Bet Gallup and the New York and the office is here and somebody always fucks it up. We had the infamous Duncan Awards where people didn't dress up and Dave Portnoy went like scorched earth on everybody. I think that kind of scared everyone. That has to tonight's gonna be all out No one can mess if you fuck this up like you traveled there and like he sent that email a couple weeks ago Like you're it's on you. I think my understanding though from that email If I'm interprenced correctly is Dave is looking for a little more Creativity out of this to more which I'm sure people just dress up

Creativity out of this to more which I'm sure people just dress up But yeah, like the theme is gambling so I think we're gonna see some creative outfits more than just black tie Yeah, I think yeah, hopefully because it's themed after the Met Gala, and that's what it's all about Titus always has a chance of winning best dressed. He'd be my always yeah always You think my fit would have stunned at the back Gala? Mm-mm, you would have been scorched by Dave. Ah. Gambling theme, sort of though? Yeah. Well actually no, it was French Riviera themed.

Right. Same play? Yeah, I think that works. Do you guys know where the Derry Riviera is? I do tell. The Derry Riviera? Maine. Westmoreland County? Iowa. Pennsylvania? Well if it'serry Riviera. Maine. Westmoreland County. Iowa.

Pennsylvania. Well, if it's a Riviera, I think that means it has to be on the water. Ireland. So, nope. Where is Westmoreland County? Outside of Pittsburgh. No. So, think of a state known for dairy.

Wisconsin. Wisconsin. It's the Wisconsin coast. Oh. Yeah. Where's the Irish coast. Damn. Oh. Wow. Yeah. Where's the Irish River area?

That would be a fun road trip. The Irish River area is where I'm from, and Hank, it's the South Shore, Massachusetts. I was gonna say Breezy Point, Queens, but similar vibe. It could also be Breezy Point, Queens probably. Yeah, Wildwood probably. Yeah.

It counts for that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Situate, Hingham. Shout out to the 4th of July episode. Hall. Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A situate hang them. Chouts of the Fourth of July episode. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fourth of July episode coming soon.

Yeah, we had Hank and Dana on our podcast to talk about South Shore, Massachusetts, and the entire episode was just like us talking about where we would underage drink in high school. And Chaps was like, I think this might be a little too inside baseball for some listeners but now we've decided to hype it up and release it as the 4th of July. Oh yeah. So yeah I think, yeah we're only eight weeks away. But you think this can appeal to anyone out even if we've grown up somewhere else? I think so I learned some fun facts. Did you guys know what a Wabo was? W-A-B-O?

A Wabo is just a water bottle filled with vodka. Oh, they did. Oh, okay. So Hank used to drink a lot of Wabos in high school. That was a party staple. Yeah, I used to put a Wabo on my pants and go to the school dance. Yeah.

Is that a Wabo or are you just happy to see me? Yup. Yup. What do you plan on doing? I know in Delco, there's like, kids drink at the cemeteries, there was like cemetery hot spots in Upper Darby. Upper Darby, that's Delco, Delco.

Yeah, yeah. But that's, cemetery drinking was like a big, big thing. We had some cemetery drinking, cemetery, woods, there's not many options for the youth. Think of how many creepy bonfires I went to. Those were fun. With way older dudes that. Talk about ghost stories.

Yeah. May or may not have fingered you. Thank you Don. Perhaps, perhaps. Well you are beautiful. Oh. Shit. Alright we can wrap it up.

Murder, stabbing, crowning. What are your podcasts called? Shout out everything. Dad Me, Get in Some head, little stinkers, and check out all my books at onperks.com. I'm a real degenerate, so if you like real degenerate shit, please check out my podcast and or my books.

Thank you guys for having me on. This is so much fun, man. I thought you could buy an advice bundle. He's got a sex advice book, like a this advice book and that advice book. Terrible advice, regular ass terrible advice advice terrible advice for parents now terrible advice for lovers We're gonna get terrible advice for parents. Yeah, I'll send it. I'll send it to you guys

Yeah, okay, and all my kids are still alive, so I think I know what I'm talking about But thank you guys all right guys coming in Mike all right boys. We got the full crew back tomorrow or No, they get back tonight. Oh, then yeah Yeah, should be good. They're Lisa PJ if Nick makes it yeah, all right. It's what wheel oh the wheel All right. Reset. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry.

We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry.

We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry.

We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're dry. We're I would know by now. Oh, shoot. Oh my god. We're good. We're good.

We're good. All right. All right. God bless. Thanks. Have a good time. Have a good time. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Woo! Woo! It's the act, it's the act Get your straws, yeah, style a date for a while It's the act, it's the act swap is the act Is the act