The Yak - An Investigation Into The History Of 'Numbies' | The Yak 9-27-21

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

What did KB say about Pat Tillman??You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Suck in my stomach fat. That's a good looking shirt. Had it since 96. Really? Dead ass. This shit's probably older than KB.

Are we on? Are we on? Are we live? We are here. We are live. I had a little frog in my throat. Brandon Walker. How did frog get to be the animal I had a little frog in my throat. Brandon Walker. How did frog get to be the animal that we said was stuck in our throat?

That's a great question. It was probably like biblical. Why not cricket? Probably like a locust. Or like there was probably some type of plague situation that was going on with it. Because functionally, a bug can get in your throat. A frog really can't. A bug maybe can get in your...

Yeah, bugs can get anywhere. But a frog? How the fuck is that going to happen? How many people in history have had a frog in their throat? And it's also some fairy tale shit. It's some nursery rhyme shit. Are you sure you want to be over there? Yeah.

You can't figure out where to be? None of your mics work? Maybe it's you. And look who decides to show up. Must be nice. Like, what are they doing? Just come on in, boys. What else do y'all do?

Check, check. Owen's talking as he comes in. Check, check. All right, you're good. You hear me, though? Yeah, I hear you. Just pop off the headphones. Pop off the cans.

How's it going? How's it going? What's up? What's up, Sass? Your boy's looking fit. Owen looks like he's in a 1990s war movie with that new haircut. He does. Is that a compliment?

No. It's just observational. Looks like somebody that dies early. Huh? He looks like somebody that dies early in the movie. Facts. Like an unnamed Saving Private Ryan character or some shit. Like he gives them the one piece of information

they need to go on their mission and then he dies immediately. You're essential to the mission. Don't internalize it. You're like in 1917, his buddy who gets killed early on. Bro! That guy went out like a bitch. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. He got knocked over by a plane.

No, he didn't. He got killed by the pilot when he was trying to help him. He got killed by a Nazi, right? You can't go out like a bitch in war. One of the B-Walks, boys. No, yeah, you can. Yeah, I mean, I'm just... In what's it called?

The guy goes out like a bitch. Oh, in Saving Private Ryan? In Saving Private Ryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that guy. That guy goes out like a super bitch. Let's go, and then who else

went out like a bitch? Friendly fire victims? Stop, bro, leave. Don't, don't leave. No, yo, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, dude. Don. Leave. No, yo. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, dude. Don't disrespect our troops like that. Shut the fuck up.

I mean, Hitler was in a war and he went out like a bitch. I wanted to be Pat Tillman for Living Legends and my middle school said it was too controversial. Did he go out like a bitch, though? Chill, bro. Well, Living Legends. He killed himself and his entire family, right? Yeah, it was all dead people. That doesn't make sense. Takes some courage. Dead legends. He killed himself and his entire family, right? Yeah, it was all dead people. That doesn't make sense.

Take some courage. Dead legends. We don't have to be that zoomed in. I think we can. Is that TJ? I knew it was TJ. If someone's that zoomed in. TJ's on the ones and twos.

He doesn't even know how to zoom in. TJ fresh off the Rutgers cover this week. Congratulations, TJ. And a huge Yankees win. Rutgers covers every game. Undefeated at cover. Yo, that's fucking sick. Get your bets in.

Get your bets in. Get your fucking bets in. We can all say that except for Sass with his young ass. So the Bucs lose and Stephen Shea no-shows? Is that what we're doing? His data is a mess. His data. His data is a mess.

Brandon, how's your headache? How's your migraine that metastasized throughout your whole body? I'm struggling. You have a full body headache. I'm 36 hours removed from the headache or the start of it, and I'm still struggling. The last show I made fun of it said that it's just a headache and you shouldn't be down that bad. Well, you say you feel it everywhere. Everywhere, yes.

Have you gone to the doctor? That's not a headache. It doesn't sound like a headache. That's an ache. I have a full body cavity. It's a headache. That's a dentist diagnosis. You're sick.

The recovery goes throughout the body, not the headache. You got a Charlie horse in your brain. You know who loves when you have migraines is Stats. She always gets a picture off. Yeah. Does some numbers on the personal.. She always gets a picture off. Yeah. Does some numbers on the personal. I don't think a picture would do it justice, would it? No, Stats goes into overdrive when I go down.

When I have a headache, when I can't do anything, she goes into overdrive. Do you get migraines a lot? Yeah, all the time. I used to think they were heat-related, but now – and you guys have made fun of me on the Yak a lot for that. I did not. I did not. I never have made fun of me on the Yak a lot for that. I did not. I did not. I never have made fun of it.

You have for a lot. I never have. Check the tape of me ever making fun of you. I understand how serious my migraine is. I think it's UV rays. I think it's UV rays. I don't think it's the heat. I used to get crazy ocular migraines.

Is that just right behind the eye? It's just all in the eyes. And I'd be getting the flurries in the eyes. Why do we have to keep seeing this? Can you go back to the original tweet? I want to ask these boys about the original tweet. Yeah, that stinks. Okay, thank you to these three for picking me up on NSA Red Cross.

I couldn't be there. I was dead to the world. Yes, that's Jack Mack. And the Pick Central guys all said this is a wild thing to tweet, and I shouldn't have tweeted it. The people you gave credit to? Right. What's wrong?

No, the people on the show before this said this was wild. I shouldn't have tweeted it. Said I was looking for attention. But I was just thanking them publicly. Is that not okay to do? No, that's fine. I think this was nice. I co-sign.

Thank you. Thank you for that. And I hope you're well. I hope you're well, too. I don't like it. I hope you get the right medical treatment. So you're 29 days living the right way? Sober, yes.

You got that chip coming up. One month. I don't even need it at this point. No, let's make him one. We're loading you one. Let's make him one. What month was it that you started in? Is it a 31-day chip or a 30-day chip?

How do you want yours? You want it in ones, fives, tens? Let me get 50. A 50-day chip? Yeah. What kind of fucking Mayan calendar shit are you on, bro? What type of fucking Cantonese calendar are you on? Get the fuck out of here.

What year is China in right now? What did they start from? China, we dial back the clock to two. What year did China start from? what they're like 5,000 right something like that yeah what was their inception event that made them start counting years I don't know did Kim Jong-un restart the calendar yes he's got a fresh one his birthday is zero right you guys ever seen Kim Jong-un's brother's like tumor in his head you brought this up multiple times it's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

It's like a basketball attached to the back of his head. On his head? The biggest tumor I've ever seen on someone. No, TJ. It's not gross. It is gross. It's a goiter.

I have a phobia of goiters. I don't like these things either. I love them. You of goiters. I don't like these things either. I love them. Okay, well, you boys can close your eyes. The listeners won't play TVVU back in the big East days. Where the goiter boys at? TJ, definitely pull that up. Let's get the goiter going.

Oh, that's not bad. That's not a basketball. That's not bad. That's a softball. That's not bad. That's not a basketball. It's a grapefruit. It's a pear.

It's huge. It's the sperm of a tree. That's so perfectly spherical that it doesn't gross me out yeah that's almost it's an orb right it almost looks like it fits too well did Oon have his

mother-in-law assassinated with a blow dart almost certainly you know they they assassinate people with with military with military grade weapons now

they like blow people up with fucking massive missiles that's badass. I don't agree with it, but it's just... Sass, you also had a big weekend. We found out this

morning that our landlord and super are working on some heist. What? Yeah, that's what I was talking about. They're wanted for burglary. Alright, can you expound on that a little bit? Wish I could. That's all we've got. Them two are amidst a heist. That's all the information we have so far. Wait, how do you know that? There's a note saying if the landlord

or management are on the property, call the police. They're wanted for burglary. What the fuck? Did you take a picture of the note oh yeah let's see it i don't have the picture owen said it to dj who took the picture evan yeah you have this we can't we can't post the note because there's his names on it why why can't we post it he's a burglar right we're trying this is a greater good person Says one person. True. Are you in cahoots with him? That is true.

That is true. Seems like you're in bed with a burglar. No, I was just going to maybe give it an hour before I brought it up on a live show. Well, it's been on my mind. It's been on my mind. It just happened? Well, because now I'm thinking, I told my mom about it, and she's like, what if they're the ones that stole your PlayStation?

Probably not. Very possible. I think it could have happened. What if they are? That's just a good question have they played dumb when i got my playstation stolen what i was like hey i got my playstation so and they were like yeah that's a shame drop a superstore it's not really playing dumb they said there was no cameras in there find that hard to believe what do they say got stolen? And who do you think posted the note? Whoever lives in 1A. 1C. So the landlord came into 1C and stole something,

and the person at 1C came and complained to you about it. I don't know. No, we didn't get a complaint about it. The note was on their door, right at the entrance of the apartment. But we also missed a note inviting us across the hall so was there a meeting it could be connected could be connected no they just wanted us to hang out shut up so maybe they were upset we didn't come and now they want to

scare us yeah was it some babes i don't know or russians it was either babes or some russian oh so russians speaking of babes. Could be Russians very easily. What? What? Oh, just a mental note. There are Russian babes. I'd like to point that out. Yeah, there was the Sass's show, but it was vastly babe. Babed?

Yes. Was it not, Owen? Heavily babed crowd. I remember I was dying laughing when I was up in there. An estrogen factor. So many comments. Yeah, you caught some falsies. No, but not even just you. How supportive Roan is. I'm not even getting just Roan anymore. I'm like, you caught some falsies. No, but not even just you. Look how supportive Roan is.

I'm not even getting just Roan anymore. I'm like, oh, fights. Casey. They're like, oh my God, Casey's laugh is just so noticeable in the crowd. I was dying. We don't need to watch it. You can see my silhouette in the front row like Mystery Science Theater. I was fucking cracking up, bro.

Casey fights and Roan and Caleb were not there. Why are you lying on my name? silhouette in the front row like Mystery Science Theater. I was fucking cracking up, bro. Casey Fights and Roan and Caleb were not there. Why are you lying on my name? Would have been awesome if they were. Yeah, it's frustrating for me and Kyle because we were there. It would have been great if they were there. Great-ass time on Friday. Good-ass dude. What was the best part of the show, Roan?

There was some Casey adjacents there, I would say. A lot of blonde girls. One of them had a Red Bull cooler backpack on. Did they actually? Yeah. That's awesome. One of them. Red Bull rep.

They ever have those at your guys' schools? Yeah. They'd go around and hand you a Red Bull and then try to get you to sign some papers. Now, were the Sass fans a little rowdy? They were. They were a rowdy. They kind of got a little out of hand after Sass' set. They kind of ruined the last set.

Yeah, they did. Big time. They all started leaving. Some girl was just slurring a word saying, Son of a boy died podcast. With no context. No context at all. During this girl's set and screaming like,

King of New York. This girl was so confused. She was like, what is Little Sasquatch? And it was a period of silence. You didn't answer her. Well, I didn't want to be yelling from the crowd. Yeah, it was funny. Probably not for her.

No. No, she was very frustrated. She was a little too, she cared too much. She let it get to her. Well, it was like as soon as she went up, everyone was just talking and people were leaving.

Well, that's their fault for not putting you on last. Yeah, I don't know. You should have been last. I was fine with where I went. You're right. Yeah, because you didn't have to have the crowd leave when you were talking. You said your nerves were fine.

I forgot. What? Your nerves were fine? I was very nervous. I was very nervous beforehand. I almost threw up before Why didn't you laugh loud? Why couldn't you laugh loud KB?

I'm a snicker dude I do light snickers No I laughed consistently I just don't have a distinct obnoxious laugh Most of the comics were pretty funny The comments about your The comics Yeah they were good

It was a pretty solid start to finish yeah it was a good show i'd love to do it again just go you'd love to just go and get some connections now we got connections at the stand now that's the stand that is where you were no but the kid that i know like knows people at the stand and he said they want to book a son of a boy dad shut up yeah to do a live podcast yeah or to do stand-up to do live podcast wow tell them no brandon you and i could do something there though we could couldn't we yeah yeah me and you that'd be fucking hilarious that'd be fucking the geek be nice for us to ride around again maybe we should transition the yak into just strictly a live show.

Really start pulling in money. Yeah, like daily on YouTube? No, daily at Caroline's. Every night. I think people get tired of it. And then when they do? I don't think people get tired of the yak. They go back to YouTube. As a live show every night, though.

So, SaaS takeaways? You want to scrap that material and start fresh yeah i'm gonna get when you're what are you what are you thinking the next one is next year maybe next year no i have no idea when i did stand-up that was how i did it i did i i learned the whole set like uh probably did like five to seven minutes and then never did it again. Just did it one time, never did it again. It was good to just check it off the list. Can I ask a stand-up question? This is not a joke at all.

It's just an actual stand-up question. When you write stand-up, right, and you did it, I didn't know that you actually did it. I did it twice. Are you going to say do you write it standing up or sitting down? Not what I was going to say at all. It's actually a functional question. Do you write your transitions?

Do you write how you go from joke to joke? Or do you write jokes and then trust yourself to get from joke to joke? I just did it. Trusted myself to get from joke to joke. I'd done all those jokes before, though. That makes sense as a question, right? I overprepared because of a fear of failure. And it read in the room.

It was weird because I went from doing open mics where no one laughs and then doing that show where people were overly laughing because they were all there to see me. So I would like to do a show where it's not just for people there to see me.

You need to find the middle. You need a crowd that doesn't know you. You need a hostile crowd, honestly. Yeah. Hi guys, I'm Little Sasquatch. Yeah, exactly. Anything I said, they were going to laugh. So you can't do a show in New York. hi guys a little Sasquatch yeah yeah exactly anything I said they were gonna laugh

so you can't do a show in New York sup guys I live in New York no I can yeah yeah people were loving it

but I mean that's like literally the dream yeah did it I mean it pretty much went what would you give it out of 10

like a 9-1 yeah I mean it went really well it went better than... What would you give it out of 10? Like a 9-1? Yeah, I mean, it went really well. It went better than I expected it to. Give it a score. I don't really do the scales. It's kind of El Prez's territory, and I would never step in his territory. Well, you could change the scale if you want.

Wish he could say the same. Yeah. Fuck. Numbies. When's that Numbies merch dropping? It sold out. Yeah, it already sold out it's great prez is counting money to all the way to the bank that's how he just put in his latest hundred thousand dollar parlay yeah all off the numbies all the numbies merch should we do the full

etymology of numbies when do you first remember saying numbies s had to have been like our first or second episode definitely Definitely. Yeah. And that was recorded on tape, right? It was. And when did Dave start saying Numbies? You were saying Numbies way before the podcast. Can I just... I think we were saying it on the yak before the podcast. Can I say that I heard a third person say Numbies

before I heard either you or Dave say Numbies? Oh, this could be bad. I don't want to give the guy credit, but Dana Beers was like a Numbies guy during the Zillion Beers movement. Yeah. He was Numbies, Numbies, Numbies. Okay.

I just Twitter searched Numbies and I followed pretty much everyone at Barstool. The earliest was Little Sasquatch in 2019. Was he working here yet? 19? He just said that shit did Numbies, bro. It wasn't a reply to anything. Wait. He didn't have anything attached.

TJ, I don't trust Kyle. Can you verify this through your own Twitter findings? Oh, Brandon Walker used it right after. Huge numbies. Damn. There you go. In response to his squirrel tweet. Yeah, and I didn't even see yours.

So I could have invented it. Dana Beers, 2021. Okay. Oh, wow. So I could have invented it. Dana Beers, 2021. Okay. Oh, wow. Late to the game. Yeah. Wow. No, I really don't give a fuck

about the Numbies thing. I would. Does it make you feel worse now that you know that I was an early adopter of the Numbies? Not at all. Okay.

Because I don't remember when I started saying it. I can tell you I'm done saying it now. I think it's a New England thing. I told you. You guys refer to Cumberland Farms as such. Dunkeys. Cumbies. Dunkeys?

People don't say dunkies. Yes, they do. I guess I have heard that. Mostly people say dunks. Dunks. Dunks? Yeah. You'll never catch me saying that. That sounded terrible. Starbies? Dunks.

People say Starbies too. People love ending in E's to the end of a word. Yeah, Gaz is always doing that shit. And he's tapped into the youth. Yeah, in many ways. Gaz probably heard me saying numbies and then just like slowly was planning out how to plant it into Dave's language. Would whisper it in Dave's ear. He would spell it out.

Dave, say numbies today. He was subliminally giving it to him in his alphabet soup in his SpaghettiOs. I've come up with a new word. I shall call it

numbies. Where the fuck is Nick, bro? Is he still at this wedding? Mental health break or what What kind of wedding was it A five day wedding Shit He was the best man

It's a big title It is It's a big title Kind of a lot Shouldn't the groom be the best man Yeah So hold Seinfeld You ever have a Seinfeld record Brandon

No No Would you have Steve Martin Robin Williams No Eddie Murphy You had Cosby You ever have a Seinfeld record, Brandon? No. Who'd you have? Steve Martin? Robin Williams? No. Eddie Murphy? You had Cosby.

Yeah, thank you. Right. I had Eddie Murphy, Delirious, Raw, and Bill Cosby himself. I had those. You're a big Cosby fan, aren't you? I was a huge Cosby fan. Yes. I love that man. What do you mean, was?

Did he die? So to speak. He did his time. He's fucking... He got out on a technicality. What do you mean was? Did he die? So to speak. He did his time. He's fucking... He got out on a technicality. What are you talking about? They don't just let people out who are guilty. He got out on a technicality.

Do I still have the DVDs? Yes. No, do you still have the impression? No, I never have the impression. Bullshit. I don't have the impression. If you listen to somebody's comedy albums, you have a little bit of an impression of them.

Here's the problem with Cosby impressions. Everybody has a Cosby impression, but it's just an impression of somebody else's Cosby impression. It's not really an impression of him, and that happens a lot. I'm trying to think of the most famous Cosby. Caliendo? Everybody's George Bush impression is actually an impression of Dana Carvey doing George Bush. Everybody's Harry Carey is— George Bush was a president of the United States

in the early 90s. 88 to 92. Yeah, I believe he was 41. People did the older Bush? Yeah, Dana Carvey did, yeah. Okay. And then Will Ferrell did younger Bush. But he didn't really do it.

He just, like, stood there. He did Anchorman as well. Yeah. Did many things. I used to have that soundtrack. That was a good CD. Did the other guys as well. Yeah. Did many times. I used to have that soundtrack. That was a good CD. Did the other guys as well. Afternoon Delight.

What else was on the soundtrack? There was a lot. That's the only one I remember. I remember him eating waffles and talking about knitting sweaters in Vermont. What was the movie where the dude, somebody jerks off on a pancake or some shit like that? It's like Horatio Sands jerks off on some French toast.

Do you know what I'm talking about? You got me. None of you know what I'm talking about. I don't know many Horatio Sands jokes. I'm picturing Ben Stiller coming on his forehead and... Something about Mary. That was his ear. Was it his ear?

I think it was his... Such a thick load they used. Yeah, whoever directed that fucking has never seen a load before. Have you ever seen The Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller? No. It's a very funny movie. I don't like Ben Stiller movies. This movie I just stumbled across. Seeker Life of

Walter Mitty? Yeah, Walter Mitty's an all-time movie. Come on. I'm not even gonna watch it. You've never seen it. Great soundtrack. I don't wanna see it. Oh, that's a classic feel-good movie. Yeah. Why? It makes you feel really good. You're like, I want to go out and climb a mountain. Why?

What's the premise of it? Climb a mountain? You've definitely seen it. White people be climbing mountains. Right? Ebony! This is going to be one of those things where... He wants to climb a mountain!

Yeah, like, Ron's seen it. I'm calling it, Ron's seen it. Walter Mitty? Yeah. No, I would watch all his Meet the Parents shit and they would make me

feel terrible when I watched it and I just those movies are hilarious I never wanted movies where everything goes wrong do nothing for me

it's a funny movie no it's easy to write it's just like Meet the Parents is crisis crisis crisis finish it's just like oh you're just like cringing the whole time

it's like oh he made it super uncomfortable. That shit doesn't make me laugh. That shit just makes me like... That sounds unenjoyable. Crawl into my own skin. I don't think we should watch movies together.

Why? What movies do you like? You like shit when everything goes wrong? I think it's a great movie. The writing in this... You fucking tripped. The writing in this

is so amateur. The girl broke her nose. It's a great movie. That part is funny. It is funny. When they're playing volleyball and he just spikes it right in her face. Why is it funny? No. They stole that from Brady Bunch when Marsha got hit by the football. It deformed her entire face. I thought it was Jan. Was it Marsha?

It was Marsha. It was Marsha. It was the pretty hot one. Yeah. It's the one that Jan was jealous of. Yeah. Jan had george glass they lost the cat the dad's mean to him fuck that shit bro you want to work through this brother good low iq laugh that's good um everything going all right ron yeah fucking de niro de niro is awesome in that movie de Niro is fucking one with the liberal media. I'm connecting the dots pretty clearly right now.

Why you love him so much, Sass. Unbelievable. So Kyrie, huh? De Niro impression is a cheap impression. Everyone does the De Niro impression. What is the De Niro impression? It's that. Rowan's doing it right now.

And then everyone was like, oh my god. He oozes talent. It's genius. Can you do Owen Wilson and Gollum at a bar? I don't have Owen Wilson. But shout out to Francis. Francis got engaged over the weekend. I was supposed to be there.

Well, he invited me to his party. 70s themed. Then he broke the news. I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. I want you to be there. That's a lot of pressure. What made you think I wanted to witness that? Also, he lied.

He didn't do it at a 70s party. No, he didn't. When you propose to someone like that, do it at a 70s party. No, he didn't. Just did it on like a... So when you propose someone like that, do you tell a camera guy to meet you there? No, it's just random that a super high quality camera guy is just there at the exact same spot. No, no, I know, but isn't that...

Is that a normal thing? No, yeah. No, it's just random. Normal is an odd word for it, but it's definitely a planned thing. But is that a common thing that people do no yeah yeah i think it is 100 common that's what anytime you see a picture of somebody getting engaged it's because someone was hired to be there true i for some reason i always thought those were just like reenactments i think a lot of people do that

yeah they do probably restage it yeah on like a side of a lot are Some people do that Yeah They do probably restage it Yeah On like a side of a mountain Or some shit like that Wouldn't it be weird Like proposing And then there's just like A camera dude right there

Yeah But they're usually Pretty discreet They're like They've got like a Ghillie suit on Yeah Ghillie suit

Hanging from a tree They're just dressed up In a flat brim hat And some Babe what's with the drone Ten feet above us Fucking government Yeah it from a tree. They're just dressed up in a flat brim hat. Babe, what's with the drone? Ten feet above us. Fucking government.

Fucking Amazon. Don't pay attention to that. Bezos, you know how he is. You know those things. They're flying around everywhere these days. Anyway, come closer to this bluff. You had a picture

right after your engagement, right? Or that was, actually that wasn't a higher photographer, but there were other people there who were just like, you know, relatively close. Okay.

But it was in a public place. It wouldn't be crazy for human beings to be there. Sure. Where was it? Is that a skating rink? Nice. Yeah. We didn't know each other when you got engaged, so.

How's the wife thing going? You didn't approve? Still about it? Yeah. Yeah, I'm about it. It's a... Fuck yeah. engaged so how's the wife thing going still about it yeah yeah i'm bad about it it's uh fuck yeah it's uh i don't know brandon uh what where what do you remember being two months into your marriage um that was a okay i don't know what what was that? Wasn't a loaded question. Something bad happened two months after Brandon's marriage. The first year.

July 2001. The first year has got a lot of moments, man. A lot of moments where you're like, oh, okay, this is how it is now. How does it change after dating for so many years? Well, I think. How long did you guys date? We dated for two years. So we didn't date like so many

years but i don't know it's just you know so you just knew that's beautiful yeah you go 20 you go 28 years living together living by yourself and then you're living with another person and you know oh that's what it sounds like when they pee okay they don't close the door you know shit like okay but most couples move in previously yeah i don't think most do. Do you think most do? Yeah. Well, it seems like it's a trend now. Okay. I think it's regional. We certainly didn't.

Yeah, it's not really so much in the south. The hedonistic northeast. I know a couple who are engaged, and they just signed separate leases. That's dope. They're going to call that off. You think? Yeah. What is this? Oh, that's Rome.

Oh, wow. Nice. Beautiful. 22 cats. There's the half pipes. You really cut? Oh, that's Rome. Oh, wow. Nice. Beautiful. 22 cats. You really cut a pose on that knee. Just a knee. No. You got the hood laying right where it should lay.

It's a good-looking photo. Actually, I got flamed for that picture. Why? Everyone online is like, you could tell that he's not a man. Look at his shoes. He's wearing Vans. Also, is the knee hovering above the ground or is it on the ground? I can't scuff these jeans.

I can't scuff these G-Stars. Bobby Schmert, same jeans Bobby Schmert wore. Kind of like a swastika shape to you. I'm seeing it. Yeah, I see it. If I just hit the arms with the... Oh, heck yes. Yeah, there it is.

You gotta blink really fast and then look. KB, how's your love life? What's going on with your love life, bro? I gave up booze. Huh? I gave up alcohol. And what does that mean? It goes hand in hand with pussy.

Yeah? That's hand in hand with pussy. Yeah? That's a prerequisite. Girls won't fuck with you anymore? No, it's the other way around. You just have been masturbating furiously that you can't get it up, like, to go out on a Friday night because you've already jerked off three times a day. It's an anxiety thing. You're anxious. Yeah.

I think that you need to hit that fucking Headspace app, bro. I sleep well. I think Headspace could be for any time of the day. Got some Ethiopian food last night. Shut up. Endura? And it tripped up my, what is it, trypophobia? Tips?

I don't fuck with Endura. What about beef tips? Is that the spongy bread? Yeah. I couldn't enjoy my meal because it was grossing me out. Really? Zah, you know what I'm talking about? I know what you're talking about.

I mean... You said that like a late night DJ. The food was good, but the injera, I couldn't look at it. That seems like a phobia you would make fun of intensely. Yeah. It's a very common phobia. Yeah, I know. It's pussy shit, but...

It's a very... It has to be one of the most common phobias, if I had to guess. I feel like every other person I meet, they're like, ooh, holes scare me. Wait, that's what bothers you? It doesn't scare me. I would say maybe heights. I would say heights. Snakes, spiders. No, you know holes is connected to spiders because the holes and clusters,

that's your like primal brain being afraid of spiders' eyes. I still think heights is the number one phobia. Yeah. I guess I just didn't think of that as like a phobia. It's just like a very common fear.

But it probably is a phobia. I just feel like that's one that like is so weird to me, but I always hear people having it. Homo. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to call it names. Homophobia is big.

Homophobia is... It's still around. As much as they'll make you believe it's not. It persists. What do you got? These were the Pick Central ads that I was about to read. Stephen Chay? What's Stephen Chay?

COVID again? I don't know. Just didn't show up. He's in a meeting. Oh, okay. One o'clock meeting. I'm about to leave early today, too. He's in the son of a boy dad meeting.

I have a report on numbies, by the way. Where none of the hosts are present. Oh, we have a report on numbies. Yeah, so this... Wait. This is the first use of numbies on Twitter. Ever? Yep.

April 2009. And then this is the first. No interactions. Not one person interacted with that. This is the first verified. And wait, that guy's name was Hedgy Funmand. Right. So he's an IE guy anyway.

And then this is the first verified use of Numbies Okay so this is 2009 Also no interactions So these are just Two cool times for Numbie fans This is just a tree falling Oh he's referring to Numbie fans as Numbies That's a difference

The cool times for Numbie fans Jump way forward Dax Shepard has used Numbies a few times Two cool times for Numbie fans. Jump way forward. Dax Shepard has used Numbies a few times. Two cool times for Numbie fans. They were trying to make a list, but there was only two cool times. Been alive 23 million minutes. Okay.

That ends the report. I don't think he... Okay. A fantastic report, TJ. Thank you. You're the fucking goat. I'm about to ride a fucking helicopter with Dave and Big Cat today. Y'all are riding a helicopter?

Today? Are you going to Vesper? No, we're going to... The VIP event? Steaks, yeah. You're riding a helicopter to go to a steakhouse to watch a football game. Yeah, that's some fucking Jerry Jones shit. Are you scared at all right now?

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I don't know if you ever heard, but Kobe? Yeah, I did hear Kobe, and I almost feel like hopefully he's kind of... Watching over you? Yeah, that's a good way to... That's not what I was going to say.

I think I'd want somebody who didn't die in a helicopter crash to be watching over me. Kobe got us there. Well, the thing is, wasn't it super foggy when Kobe was in his crash? That was like the whole cause. There's also a bunch of hills. There's not any hills between here and Philadelphia. Well, that was like

the whole thing, wasn't it? Yeah, they tried to rise too quickly above the clouds. Yeah. And they... Sonny, there's no clouds in the sky today. I just checked the weather.

You're good. Thank you, Sass. Just looking out for you. Where will it land? Sass cares about mental health. About people's mental health. I don't. Yeah, you do, bro. Yeah,ass cares about mental health, about people's mental health. I don't. Yeah, you do, bro.

Yeah, I do. You do care about people's mental health. We take mental health breaks on this show. Well, Brandon does quite often. Brandon does, and we support it. Taking time off because of a headache is a mental health break. Usually when Brandon has an interview, he comes in like 10 minutes before, and he's like, I'm just not really feeling like myself today.

I actually had the interview. The interview came into the show the other day. By the way, the CM Punk one, doing really good for me. There we go. Doing good. Numbies? Yeah, doing good Numbies. 120K.

Oh, wow. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. That's almost as good as Sass is set. Now it's much better. Twice as good. Yeah, twice as good. Well, but the days per day.

Yeah. Per diem. Yeah, you'll catch me. You'll catch me. Per diem punk. I got two days on you. Wait, what does this say? One gal?

One girl. You don't like gal? I don't like gal. Why? I don't know. Because you're sober now? I was going to say gal on a 40-second note. One girl flew from Utah to see you?

Is that true? No. Yes. Oh. Oh, that was real? Yeah. Real? Yeah.

It's the beehive state. The one somebody sent a picture of you two with, they were talking to me, they flew from Utah. What? Yeah. No wonder they laughed hard. I'm getting my fucking laughs in if I fly five hours. Why would you?

I mean, I don't know. Because you're funny. I've never been to New York. I was like, what are you guys doing? They were just like this. Oh, they're probably just like, let's go to New York and we'll go to this too. It's a reason to go. Yeah.

It's fucking sick. I don't know if I would fly anywhere for any comedy show. Everything all right, bro? I would. Swarth, you got to travel. It's just like a reason to go to some place. Are the tickets on sale? Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night? Yeah. Tomorrow night, son of a boy, I had ex-anus, ex-big cat, live show. Ex-Brandon. Well, Brandon's not coming. No, Brandon's exed out. Yeah, Brandon got exed. We exed him.

So, tomorrow night, there's a live show with... No. No, it's not. This is not for, there's a live show with... No. No, it's not. This is not for like a month. It's like... No. Tomorrow night, tickets are on sale for a live show that includes you, Kyle... Everyone in this room.

...Rone, him, Nick, and Big Cat. Yeah. Not Big Cat. Not Big Cat, actually. Is Big Cat not coming? He's not part of the show. I didn't know that was an option. Yeah.

He seems like he wants to go. I would welcome that greatly. I put it on the table to make it just a yak. Could I also go? Yes. Yeah, you can. I think that would make sense. So that's why.

No, you can come. The thing is, if we were going to do a yak live show, we should have just done like Caroline's. Do you? Oh, okay. Am I wrong? A new untold story in Son of a Boy dad well i'm out no you're not well you're clearly on the graphic oh you are you're on the graphic but i'm out that's my wife's birthday oh okay oh bring her for let's we'll get that's a guaranteed pussy day and that is not something

to take lightly yeah when you're married for 15 years. Wait, she get, on her birthday? Every birthday. Both birthdays, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, both birthdays. Yeah. You eat it? No, no. Wait, no?

Ron, you look incredible there. The sun. The sun was fucking shining. It was the fucking golden hour. I like, I looked like a crispy cookie, which is my phrase that I made up.

Unilaterally. Do you guys get that the red curtains is sort of symbolizing that it's a live performance? I thought that you were on your period. Is that sick? I feel you, though. What's with the Ben and Jerry's next to you? Explain that. I had two people in the bottom left corner, and it looked weird that I was alone.

So you just threw a Ben and Jerry's? Yeah, there we go. Fuck. That's so funny. Were you eating Ben and Jerry's while you did this? Yeah. That's hilarious. We'll probably give away a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

We should at the end of the show. Best audience ever. We'll throw it out. Loudest laugher. We'll throw it out in scoops, though. Just throwing out. Aoki. Just to the face.

Brandon, maybe you could tell us what we should do for the live show, seeing that you've done multiple live shows, for example, for the college football show in your life. The college football show looked like a smashing, rousing success, and I'd like to know how to control a crowd like that. So serious talk real quick. So we were at – college game day was across the street, and our crowd was double the size

of their crowd. I was nervous going in because at CSPN's college game day, their crowd was quiet. Our crowd came over there. They were loud. They were chanting the whole time. It was a gigantic crowd. It was incredible. It was the best crowd we've ever had. Changing of the guard. I guess so. Fox also had theirs. I didn't see theirs. That's what I watched. They were like way

around the corner. Was it good? Tucker. Oh my god. When I did walk past them they were doing rock, paper, scissors on stage. And they had Rocket Ismael there. Really? Rocket Ismael with and Brady Quinn. I mean two Notre Dame guys. Rocket Ismael. Oh my god. I fucking

love Rocket Ismael. Not his winner from 30 years ago. Quadre Ismael too. Quad I fucking love Rocket Ismael Not his winner From 30 years ago Quadre Ismael too Quadre Was he a Ravens Yeah But he didn't go to Notre Dame He went to Quadre

Where'd he go Nebraska Syracuse Syracuse Fuck I mean the Barstool one Seems like infinitely better Yeah

Chef Donny cooking up In the crowd Yeah It's awesome Looks like a good time I heard he made burgers Yeah I love And then he gassed his forehead open Yeah how did that happen Just he ran like a good time. I heard he made burgers. Yeah. I love burgers.

And then he gashed his forehead open. Yeah. How did that happen? Just he ran into a door or somebody opened a door in front of him? Just he went bullfighting and fucking went away unscathed and then just lost to a door. Yo, I went to fucking, on Friday, I went by Epstein's place. Yeah. I saw that.

Fucking beautiful. Is it? Oh my God. Is that Upper East? It's, yeah. It is. Upper East? It's, uh... Yeah. It is. Upper East, that's the suburbs to me.

Yeah, same. I felt like I was going to Connecticut. It's literally a different city. I thought it was in Norwalk. But it was valued at, like, $93 million or something like that, or $111 million. And then since Epstein lived there there the price was slashed dramatically to 55 million oh you get a bargain and they just sold so somebody just moved into epstein's house like within the last couple months the first people to live there since uh he notoriously

had a massive uh sex ring sounds good big cat afford that? That would be tight. We'd have to move some money around. Dave could if he sold the Montauk property. Yeah. That's crazy that it's even for sale. And it's sold. Well, I don't think that... It's not like...

What? What's like the qualms with living there? Right. There's a lot of places to sell it. It's not like it's Castro's house. That have had some bad things happen in there. The ghosts. The ghosts?

I don't know. Why would you want to live there? If you get a dramatic discount, then yeah. He also got the place for free. Someone just gave Epstein the place. I wonder why. How is that apartment,

is it that big? In the picture you took, it didn't look that big. It's not an apartment. It's a five story house And it's supposed to be Like the most Like the best piece

Of real estate in New York At one point Was considered that So it's like That's absurd A hundred million dollars For a five story house What were you wearing

Walking around there I biked over there And I just stood out there Like I was just standing there just being like old ladies would walk by be like you know this is epstein's place right no epstein used to be in here it's wild to even just like getting a sense of it like parking the car in front of there like imagine parking your car in front of fucking epstein spot yeah people are just smoking cigarettes so there's packages outside see a bunch of famous people

there yeah chris tucker was just stumbling out the back You see a bunch of famous people there? Yeah, Chris Tucker was just stumbling out the back door with a bottle of champagne in his hand. What were the paintings that he had in his apartment or his house?

Bill Clinton naked, right? Yeah. Or in a dress. In a dress, I think. Really? Or was he naked? I don't know. But yeah.

There was a bunch of weird ones, I think. I wonder why. I fucking wonder why. Makes you wonder if he was up to no good. I also went by, I biked by my grandmom's, where my grandmom used to live

on like 102nd and Columbus. Does she recognize you? No, she's dead now and I would give anything to have her back living in the same city just so I could say hi to her one more time passing. It would be truly the greatest joy in my life. Imagine the joy you'd have walking down the street and seeing her.

If I just saw my grandmom, I'd lose my shit. I'd be brought to tears. It would just be so cool to me. I got so many DMs after that. They were like, don't let the Yak boys make you feel weird about that. That's not that uncommon. I also ignore my grandma. I'd like to point out that's very uncommon.

Shockingly uncommon. It isn't, though. Yeah. When you need to slow down, open a Coors Light. It's a mountain cold refreshment made to chill. Tastes great. Slow down and celebrate responsibly. Drizzle your Instacart.

Go to CoorsLight.com slash take. You need to go, brother? I'm going to go in about eight minutes. I got scolded. I'm recording with Coach Prime, and I was told not to be late this time. How late were you last time? I was 35 seconds late last time. Oh, wow.

Yeah, so it's going to cut into the act time. It's a bummer. It's going to be an interesting show. So they're scheduled to do their show at 1.50, 12.50 local time? No, I just have to be there. It's football coach shit, so it's like if you're early or late, if you're late or on time, if you're on time, go fuck yourself or something like that. You know how the fuck it is.

I don't like how Coach is treating you. And I'm going to talk to him about it. Players only meeting. We got to have a players only. What were you just trying to say about Kyrie Irving? Kyrie is, so he's all up in the news today because apparently he's not going to be able to play Nets games because he is unvaxxed and he's very anti-vaxxed apparently. And he no-showed the Nets media day today.

And Dave Letterman was there asking questions, cracking jokes. It's just a weird circus around him. What do they say about him? He's like a naysayer without a cause or something like that? Who, Kyrie? Yeah. Yeah, it's like he's a contrarian on everything. A contrarian without a cause.

That's what they said. He's a contrarian without a cause, which is pretty brilliant. But he's notorious. I guess he's anti-vax and he hasn't gotten it. And, I mean, you can't go to their games without being vaxed. So he might not be able to play in their home games, apparently. I don't know what they'll do. I saw that the Nets are about to sign him, Harden, and Durant

all to contracts for $200 million, and they're going to be like 36 at the end of those contracts. There's no way that doesn't go badly. I feel like Kyrie is trying to play the role. The Nets are a basketball team. Brooklyn, the Barclays Center. More than most. Name 15 players on their team then.

That's all their team. Yeah. Name their head coach their team then. That's all their team. Yeah. Name their head coach. Yeah. Steven Nash. Who used it? Name the bar he used to own. The Gem Saloon.

Wow. Shout out to Gem Saloon. Did he really own it? I think so. Viva. Viva. Viva. What's Greer up to?

I was at his place. Yeah? On Friday. Still don't know. That was Saturday. Can't get a read on it. Oh, instead of Francis's engagement, you went to Greer's. Wow.

Greer lives in like the worst area, maybe top five in the world. But he has a really nice apartment yeah except we almost hurt ourselves kyle would you like hurt or hurt hurt hurt hurt oh he had like an indoor campfire which was very excited on the box do not light indoors that's just fire indoors for upwards of an hour. You did what? Indoor fire? Was it tiny? It was like the size of the mound on Kim Jong-un's brother's back.

You'd feel real dumb if you lit a fire inside a building. But you would give some, you know, firefighters some nice war stories to tell. It's nice to have a non-lethal fire that firefighters can really get in there and get their, you know, get a save in. Just put out a fire.

Pad their stats. Yeah. Honestly, like, firefighters like to pad stats, too. Yeah, we all do. Who doesn't? Like, that's fine. That's very allowed. How'd you almost get hurt then i wasn't

even close nor did i worry were you jumping over it singing kumbaya in a circle around it it's cool to look at yeah boys just dudes just like can just look at fire yeah and be content it's fun to look at fires well women like to like square off when they talk to each other shop yeah women like to shop while also having their shoulders square and being in complete eye contact with another woman the entire time. They will make a show of turning and squaring their shoulders, won't they? It's a great, like, that's just how women come. That's good.

That's just how women are. They'll just square it. Like, their whole fucking hips will fucking square off. Brandon, stop. You're going to Pavlov me to getting horny. Yeah. You can't control it

after the last 29 days. But it's just something they're built to do. Men are just built to not square up to anybody they're talking to. That's why guys can like talk in the car

for a long ass time and women always get because they can't square their fucking shoulders. Can't square because they can't square their fucking shoulders women love to square up oh bitches are fucking always squaring up people who get car sick easily are annoying as fuck yeah they're a liability huge liability when we drove to chicago your buddy like we just threw we just pulled over and he just like casually threw up and then we just kept going yeah that was a bit much he was just like hey can we pull over and then he just casually threw up and then we just kept going. Yeah, that was a bit much.

He was just like, hey, can we pull over? And then he just slowly got out of the car, threw up, and then just got back in. Oh, he didn't tell us until we got there, too. He said he passed out while he was throwing up. How does that happen? He bent over and puked on the side of the highway and then when he put his head back up, he just fell back. On to the... Damn, were you guys in Indiana? You had to have been.

Yeah. Honestly, probably near Gary. But the big ass, the service areas in Indiana are fucking incredible, though. Way better than Ohio's. The highway ones? He said he didn't want to scare us, so he didn't tell us. Ohio doesn't even have them. Yeah, Ohio barely has them.

He was nodding off in the car. Yeah. So you guys aren't pro-mental health, then. This guy's just passing out, and you take it as a chance to crack jokes. I didn't know that until now. That's not really mental health, though. That's physical health. Yeah.

Okay, cool. That's funny, then. Well, mental and physical go hand in hand. Eh. Spiritual. I got some spam on the line. It's okay to not be okay. Has anyone spam been through the roof recently's okay it might be okay has anyone spam

been through the roof recently yes yes it has did they just like pass a law or some bullshit I don't know

some bull junk I'm getting all these texts from like Venmo being like you were selected yes same I tell them suck my dick

every time I just blocked and it comes up the caller ID as spam yeah do the people calling know that

cause that would probably be discouraging yeah they work at spam well because they probably used to be like they probably just called like home lines like home phones where they don't have like a high tech what's a homophone for someone that works in a car at a call center what's a homophone? That's a great question. You got to go. I mean, yeah. Homophone sounds the same as something else, right?

Spells. Spells are different. Spells are different. So you did know the answer to that. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you're not going to fucking pull a fucking fast one on me, bro. How'd your fantasy football teams do this weekend, Owen? I don't have any.

Yikes. As a matter of fact. Used to be Barstool Sports, and I guess things have changed a little bit since then. Well, you did. You ditched the fantasy football podcast. Bro, I'm in like five fantasy leagues, and I'm in first place in fucking every one of them.

I think I might be a fucking fantasy genius. And I've gone 6-2 fucking over the last fucking three Sundays, betting every single fucking time six and two six and two little tight end in the second round multiple fucking multiple money line dogs like put me on pick central come on please i'll pretend to be dumb hey eagles tonight what do you think? Oh, bro. Picks.

What are your picks, bro? I mean, this should be an – I was trying to get minus three and a half Devontae Smith to score, Dallas Goddard to score, plus 1776, but I don't know if we can get the odds locked in right. I took Hurts to score and Eagles to win. I think the Cowboys are going to beat the piss out of them. Why am I wrong? I took 375. The and Eagles to win. I think the Cowboys are going to beat the piss out of them. Why am I wrong? The Cowboys are really good. Can you do a sport clip ad before you go?

I cannot. Take it easy, boy. Brandon. I don't have it. Tell Coach we say hi. Tell him I passed my – I like you getting ready for the Dion podcast by saying bull junk. This is what he said.

Which one is it? A haircut shouldn't feel that feel that relaxing oh they rewrote the copy a haircut shouldn't feel that relaxing but it does at sport clip haircuts that's because stylists just don't wash your hair they use a seven pressure point massaging shampoo technique that is so relaxing you melt in your seat and the hot steam towel owen the hot steam towel damn good oh yeah it's infused with tea tree oil and it's perfectly steamed leaving you feeling like you just left a swedish sauna and to top it off you get a pinpoint cut stop by sport clips today and ask for the mvp haircut experience it's ridiculously relaxing sport clips the pros in men's hair all right little uh we're gonna clean up the sheet here. Who would be the most surprising

Barstool employee to try stand-up? Just outside of the obvious. Obvious? Do we have a crippled person? A deaf man? No, I don't think we have. I just think we have... Well, I think we actually have a lot of people

who wouldn't be able to stand that long. No wheelchair bound. No plegics? No plegics. Wait, so who's your obvious? Who's obvious? Oh, just all the fat guys that wouldn't be able to stand for seven, eight minutes at a time. Maybe myself included.

Who's the most unintentionally funny person at Barstool? That's actually a better question. Because White Sox Dave seems like he's the leader in the clubhouse. I think he's a legitimately funny man, too. He knows what he's doing. Unintentionally funny is just someone who you laugh at. Anybody want to say a name there? We're good?

I think we all agreed. White Talks Dave. Is gardening lame or cool to be self-sustainable? So Stephen Chay definitely planted a garden recently. Yeah, yeah. And what is the best fruit juice that's fresh squeezed? I think gardening is cool. And I like grapefruit juice the best.

Never had grapefruit juice. These are riveting questions. Is gardening cool? If you had to eat one vegetable for the rest of your life with every meal, what would it be? It's obviously potato. Potato. It's obviously potato. We can rank the vegetables.

Potato's number one. Brussels sprouts, cauliflower. Sprouts are good. Spinach is good. Asparagus is good. Spinach. asparagus. Come on. Brandon, what are you doing up there?

You can't be giving... I go potatoes, corn. You ever forget you have asparagus, though? Then your piss scares you? I always know when I have asparagus because I don't ever have asparagus. Brussels sprouts and cauliflower are going to be my top two. Brussels sprouts are not bad. Not top two.

Cauliflower is bad. It's bland. It has no taste. Broccoli is better than cauliflower. I like cauliflower way more. It has no taste. Cauliflower and Brussels sprouts are not bad. Cauliflower is bad. It's bland. I like cauliflower way more. Cauliflower and Brussels sprouts together. Great mix. And potatoes sometimes together too. I'd love for you to cook for me.

My mom does that. I would put beans number two. Serious. I would do corn too. But you don't get all the beans. Which bean? There's obviously some beans that are like this and then the long beans like green maybe i wouldn't baked that's a big yawn i'm tired as fuck from what i took too much melatonin yesterday it fucked me up

sorry about that brother was just glued to my sheets this morning. Tough to get up, huh? Yeah. Alarm went off for two hours straight. What time did you set your alarm for in the morning? Today I was set for 9. Woke up at 12. Okay. All right. Can we end it?

Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. My chicken sandwich is over there. I got to go eat my chicken sandwich. It was already a glorified ending a little bit ago. Roland just kind of took the show with him. Does it have to go to 57 for sling? TJ, can we end it?

Oh, there goes one. Yeah, sure. Okay. Oh. It's your straws, yeah Style the tape for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk

Shop and do a Yankees Thank you.