The Yak - Assembling the Most Random Yak Crew of All-Time | The Yak 9-1-22

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Happy Tank ThursdayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act It's the act I love the yogi It's like a fucking It's like a fucking It's the act Oh, that's what his name was? Get out the bottom and try it.

Try it, yes. Is it chia? Oh, try it. Chia, it's chia. Chia seeds. Oh, it's not yogi it chia it's chia chia seeds oh it's not yogi it's like a chia seed yogurt it's like some kind of

chia seed yogurt is it good did you get the shit from the bottom not as it's not as bad as you let it out to be you gotta get the shit

from the bottom and plus I kinda set a baseline for what the texture was gonna be like tastes kinda coconutty yeah I hate coconut.

Why, Frank? Oh, if you're going to be in here, you have to eat the fucking yogurt. Give us the fucking content, Frank. All right. Get the shit from the bottom. Frank, you eat 12 hot dogs a day. Why is this a bridge too far? Oh.

Another bite. Frankie. I said a baseline. Is it Greek yogurt? No, it's not Greek. It's like chia seeds. Well, I don't know where the chia seeds origin is. It's a little bit like tapioca pudding. It's a little bit tapioca.

I can't do Greek yogurt. It's not Greek. I hate it when classmates yogurt. Odorous. It's not Greek. It's not Greek. Love me some Greek yogurt. I hate it when classmates would bust that out. Some protein-seeking classmates? No, special ed majors love Greek yogurt. In class.

It stinks up the whole room. Really? I was like fucking wet soft. Special ed majors or special eds? No, the majors. I feel like the students probably. The special eds like Apple Cider. Those boys eat a the students probably. The special Eds like apple cider vinegar. Those boys eat a lot of yogurt. They're extremely good.

They're go-get boys. Yeah, they do. Look how we get a shelf over here. The special Eds are yogurt to hand food for them. Broken bottle heads. All right, let's talk about the shelf. Give this over to Sass. This is good.

No, I think Sass. Come on, everyone tried it. Yeah, but I'm last. I'm sick. You should have been more of a volunteer. I did pass. Come on, everyone tried it. Yeah, but I'm last. I'm sick. You should have been more of a volunteer. I'm fucking... Owen also skipped it, if we're being honest. No, he didn't.

You had some? The texture is what's really gross about it. And if you're saying you're sick, well, you're the last person to try it, so you're at no risk to get anybody else sick. We are eating it until it goes away. Look at that texture. It's amazing. Oatmeal. It's amazing.

Oatmeal. It's amazing. It's next week. That's good. Next time I'm in here, because I'm going to be probably on the road next week. Next week, or the next time I'm in here, I'm going to get some super glue or crazy glue, and I'm going to try to fix those damn bobbleheads with the decapitated heads. Frank Fishes? Yeah, wow. I never even thought about those things. It's aheads with the decapitated heads. Frank Fischers.

Yeah, wow. Never even thought about those things. It's a good fix-me-up project. Why do you care about them, Frank? Does it bother you? Does it unsettle you to see them broken? Yes. I'm a bobblehead collector. I might have somewhere near 100 bobbleheads.

It's a slippery slope. If they genocide Brandon's, they might come for yours next. I don't know if you're a collector at 100. You definitely are. Oh, Brandon. 100? Don't gatekeep collectors. 100 is a fuck ton.

I don't think you're a collector. You're a hobbyist at that point. 100? What is a collector? You're only saying that because bobbleheads aren't that big. If bobbleheads were bigger. I'm just not sure. You're a collector at 100.

Brandon's probably got a bunch. You are definitely a collector at 100. If they were the same size as those pop things, if you had 100 of them, people would be like, wow, this is a guy. Frank's in a position of power. People just send Frank bobbleheads. I've never seen one.

You've never seen Frank. Never. I sit next to him. So, Frank, when in your mind. If he's a collector, you would. Let him have his case. Keeps it at home. In your mind, when did you go from being a hobbyist to a collector?

At how many? What was the threshold? What was the tipping point? I don't know what the threshold is, but I just— Let's think about it. I need more shelves now for all the new bobbleheads I've been getting. I got—my most recent bobblehead is a Max Scherzer strikeout counter. You just went to a game.

Yeah. Frank, do you think you have the skill? Are you adroit enough to make them all bobble at once at some point? I'd love to see it. Do you shake them all real fast so at one point they're all shaking their heads? I think that's impossible. With 100, I think that's impossible. I think I could.

That's impossible. I could. You could try. But you know what you can do is you could like... Room on a roller coaster? Video with them? Yeah. do is you could like uh video with them you could uh like see if you could find like a like a little uh thing that makes uh vibrations and vibrator vibrator yeah vibrator yeah

is that what you were thinking a little thing and uh like uh attach it to every shelf yeah you could use technology and engineering to make it happen i'm talking about a manual hand now if he had a hundred vibrators would be a would he be a collector or a hobbyist? I think vibrators, that would be a collector. Bobbleheads are different, I think. I think maybe if I enlisted the services of Barry Allen, he could help all the imbalances at the same time. Who the hell is that?

Barry Allen could help. Who the hell is Barry Allen? Barry Allen. Barry Allen? Yeah, Barry Allen. Who the hell is that? Barry Allen could help. Who the hell's Barry Allen? Barry Allen. Barry Allen? Yeah, Barry Allen. Who the hell is Barry Allen, Frank? Aurora Barry Allen. The vibrator. Barry Allen?

Barry Allen's the inventor of the vibrator. Oh, fuck. I didn't realize that, Frank. That's a good pull, Frank. He's really quick. He's really quick. You should watch him. He runs. Barry Allen. What are watch him. He runs. Barry Allen. What are you doing? Sitting here.

Okay. Fair enough. You think a man or a woman invented the vibrator? Man. Yeah? Got to be.

I mean it's an invention so it has to be a man. It has to be a man. Yeah. No. Women invented some things. Shopping.

Marie Curie. Cooking. Tupperware. Yeah. Peanut butter. Tupperware. That was Washington Carver. That was Washington Carver. Sucking dick. No, no, that was definitely some

wayward man. It had to have been. They were looking at each other's dicks like, what should we do? There's only one? Oh, okay. The electric vibrator was invented by Joseph Mortimer. The early 1880s. Joseph Mortimer? We didn't even have electricity, barely.

People must have died. We immediately invented vibrators? Tesla was just fucking harnessing energy in a big ball. All right, how many women got shocked in the 1880s and 90s by electric vibrators? That's like a thing, though. Isn't there vibrators that shock? Probably. You tell me, Seth.

You deviant. I remember there used to be one in the office. We need to get Barry Allen. Yeah, that's crazy. But these women were literally, there were probably women who died for the orgasm who were like, I need something better than my husband's penis so badly.

Or maybe they were for spinsters. Well, the husband was probably off at war. In the 1880s? Oh, I see. The Flash. Barry Allen. It would be very fast at doing. There's probably a dude named Allen Barry

who's probably just as interesting as Barry Allen. Could be. That could be true. It could be. That could actually happen. Do you want the rest of your yogi? I thought we were finishing it. Taking down the yogi?

I thought we were doing a little popcorn of the yogi. Me and KB had our fantasy draft last night. We did. KB's a fantasy guy? I do auto draft because I trust AI more than my own brain. They'll overthink it. They can't. Yeah.

They can't overthink it. And they'll fill in your roster. They'll give you kind of the best chance at a good grade on Yahoo's draft little thing. I went to the Mets comedy show Sunday night with Alonzo. Oh, yeah. That was good. I saw Alonzo. Jim Brewer headlined it at the end

So was Alonzo doing jokes himself? Yeah How were they? For an athlete For an athlete, they were pretty good Wasn't DeStefano there? Yes Dan Lamorte?

I don't remember Dan Lamorte The autistic guy? He might have been there, yeah He was, very funny Very funny Oh yeah, he has a lot of jokes about being autistic Interesting Let me see It's very funny. He has a lot of jokes about being autistic. Interesting.

Let me see. So he was telling a story about when he was playing in the Northwoods League. Did he have a good manager that was like, Oh, you guys, virgins. Yeah. He said Oh you guys virgins Yeah And then like Yeah And then like He's like looking around He goes

Well When you fuck Do you think So when you get up there Don't dink when you hit Because if you dink It's not gonna work You gotta

Without This was Alonzo Yeah this is P. Alonzo God It's like he's got heaters Damn I wonder who wrote that for him. Or you think he just came up with it himself?

You rip any others? That was his big story. Oh, no, he had this other one that Frank told me. He was like, what's a pirate's favorite letter? Someone else gave me that one. Who was that? You know what a pirate's favorite letter is, right? R.

R. Is that it? Is it R? Yes. Oh, there's a read. There's a read. Oh, right? R. R. Is that it? Is it R? Yes. Oh, there's a R. Oh, that's good. Frank, I told you. Switched up on us.

I want this. I want remix to electron. Dude, I just can't. Remember it was, you think it's the R, but actually it's the C? You don't remember that? Frank, we had shared a moment. He didn't like it. He wanted to go with his own version.

I'm going to remix that one. I'm sorry, but it's gone. X marks the spot or some shit like that. Fuck. Damn. You're quick with it, bro. Thanks, bro. I read it on Twitter.

What are you puffing on over there? This is a jewel, bro. One of the last on Twitter. What are you puffing on over there? This is a jewel, bro. One of the last remaining jewels. Butterscotch flavored. Hell, he did. Jewels, are they officially dead? They said they were, but I've seen them. I don't think anyone pulled them from the stores.

Dreams last for so long, you know? Like the singer jewel. So long. Got my eggs. Got my pancakes. Congress for her. Got my maple syrup got my pancakes. Congress for her. Got my maple syrup. You know, every day there's a congressman that's thinking about how to fuck up people's lives today.

Yeah. I don't believe they're that inherently evil. They are that inherently evil. Or maybe they're just power hungry. Do you think that maybe that's the root of their personal gain? I think they want to see how powerful I can get. There was legislation that was passed and I forgot what the stock was, but

the stock has like plummeted in value. This is a Dante the Don retweet. I saw this. Nancy Pelosi had just bought... Sold the stock before they passed the legislation and made $600,000 on the devalue of the stock.

That's a few weeks of cameo for you, right? $600K is nothing for Pelosi, though. Yeah, that pitch is rolling in it. Yeah. But, you know, if anyone else did this, you know what they would call that? Insider trading. that? Good trading. Oh, insider trading. Yeah, yeah.

Which way do you lean politically, Frank? And what's funny is, it's the one thing that Republicans and Democrats can agree on. They don't want to have to ban the insider trading for senators and congressmen because they'd all go broke. They make all their fucking money. So that's why all these fucking scumbag who just want to make all rules on you, but they don't want the rules for themselves. The vibes are high. College WVU pit today.

Start of Labor Day weekend. I'm fired up. Do you remember the last time Pitt beat WVU Pitt today, start of Labor Day weekend. I'm fired up. Do you remember the last time Pitt beat WVU? I don't remember what happened the last time they played. I know the big time they beat them was 2007 when it was 39. That was the last time they beat them. Was it really? Was that a McAfee flub?

McAfee tweeted that today. He said he was like, you know, I did all this, I'm a Hall of Famer, and I'm only remembered for missing two kicks in this game. To like 10 people, maybe. Yeah, well, he's like Western. WVU doesn't treat him very well, right?

I don't know about still. I'm sure they love him. Native son made good. I'm disappointed that game is tonight. I would have wished that game would have been on Saturday. We need a good one tonight. We got two good ones tonight. Kick it off.

This is perfect. Who else? You think WVU has a chance? I think they have a chance, yeah. State, bro. Let's go. State? Yes, tonight.

And Satan produced tonight. It was tomorrow. KB, speaking of college football, you see you're in the promo material for the new sportsbook State that just launched 15 minutes ago? Which state? Kansas. Kansas just launched? This is the best state in the fucking world! Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Boy, KB, face of the Kansas sportsbook. Yeah. What was that for? The national championship? Yes. Well, you know. That was a blast. You and Nick have the juice when it comes to that kind of shit. I had to actually put Subo drunk.

Now, are people in New Jersey? I wasn't that wasted. In New Jersey, they can't bet on that. Yeah, I was. I forgot. Yeah, I was. I was on the roof. I never get on roofs.

You were. Yeah, shit. New Jersey, we're not allowed to bet on Rutgers football. Oh, man, Frank. Can Kansas people vote on Kansas? Yeah, only certain states have that rule. I think Illinois has that rule and Jersey has that rule. What fall foods are you guys looking forward to?

Meatballs, chili, stews, ragus. Cocktail weenies and a crock pot. Oh, dude, I've been having cocktail weenies all summer. In the crock pot? In the crock pot. Oh, you know, you make those. Walk me through the crock pot technique. You take a crock pot. You, dude, I've been having cocktail weenies all summer. In a crock pot? In a crock pot. Oh, you know, you make those. Walk me through the crock pot technique. You take a crock pot.

You take your cocktail weenies. You put them in. You put some barbecue sauce and grape jelly in there and let it stew for a while. Grape jelly? Oh, yeah. I have been saying this. Fruit jam with savory foods.

How about this one? Unbelievable. How about this? You get a couple cans of beans, and then you put the cocktail weenies in there. You chop up some bacon, add a little molasses, let it sit in the crock pot

for a couple hours and cook up real nice. Yeah. Now we're fucking talking. We got a show. Let me get one last summer food put on out of my system.

It's the Milk Bar cereal milk flavored ice cream. It's the best I've had in a while. Refreshing. Oh my God. Cereal milk. ice cream. It's the best I've had in a while. Refreshing. Oh, my God. Cereal milk? That is. It's probably like $80 a pint the way that Milk Bar hits you over the head.

It's probably worth it. It's good. It's good. I had some of the best ice cream I've had was a Big Gay ice cream. They have a Dorothy. I've never tried. It's unbelievable. It's like a banana flavored ice cream with graham cracker crust around the cone.

Yeah, the graham. It's un-fucking-believable. This is kind of what the milk cereal has. It's some a banana flavored ice cream with graham cracker crust around the cone. Yeah, the graham. It's un-fucking-believable. This is kind of what the milk cereal has. Some type of graham crust. Crusty. You need the crunch. I mean, the evolution. Crunch in anything that's not traditionally crunchy is fantastic.

Like sushi. You ever get a good one? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Crunch in a piece of sushi. Absolutely. Texture. Texture profile.

I was like 27 when I realized texture is better than taste. It equates. It changes taste. I think crunch is underrated in general. I think crunch is fantastic. You know, when I'm reviewing hot dogs, if there's no snap, there's almost no chance they're going to get a home run. You got to have a snap.

The snap really like. I think a triple is more impressive. Oh, because they legged it out. More rare. Triples, yeah, it's kind of rare. But then you wonder how. I think you can't judge triples and home runs together. Look at this.

I think you have to judge triples against inside the park home runs. Who is the best triple hitter of all time? Ty Cobb. Ozzie Smith. It might be Ty Cobb. It is Ty Cobb. I'm a sports guy here. It's Ty Cobb. Jimmy Rollins used to hit a lot. What about Modern?

Ichiro? Ichiro had a lot of triples. I'll tell you one player I think Gwen might have a sneaky lot of triples too. I'll tell you one player who had a lot of triples. And it's a guy you wouldn't think of off the top of your head. Lance Johnson. Lance Johnson for the White Sox? The bicyclist? Lance Johnson. That's a guy you wouldn't think of off the top of your head. Lance Johnson. Lance Johnson for the White Sox?

The bicyclist? Lance Johnson. That's a circumcision. He had a lot of... Yeah. Let's go. I remember. Yes. I needed that.

Yes. Fucking go. That was a banger. Bam, bam, bam. You better have a great point to follow that. That was great. I remember Lance Johnson. Catch him up.

Owen Knox him down. He played with the Mets for one season. Actually had like 20 triples. Yeah. Like a little double play battery right here. He had to have had 200 for that to top. All the triples leaders are going to be the old guys.

Yeah. They didn't have triples were more common. The outfield didn't have a fence back then. Who was the first modern guy? I don't see any.

Sam Rice. Sounds like a goddamn country singer. Sam Rice. He played at the Eton of the Century. Roberto Clemente. Sam Rice.

That's a circumcision, isn't it? That's... Goddamn. Yeah. Yeah. Woo! Yeah. Goddamn.

Woo! Happy birthday, Sassass And God bless America God it's fucking September boy September One of the best We're getting into the fucking fall Ebony dropped a video on her OnlyFans The fellas were saying I'm not going to subscribe

Unless you post a video She posted one there you go I don't know what it is I didn't see it Booty booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere someone someone find out and let me know yeah pass it or i mean ebony is right out there i feel like zah could be our secret agent ebony is always trying to put the moves on zah which which is why i want nothing to do with that gets caught in the tractor beam. I ain't trying to have none of that, but she's just throwing all of that at me.

What am I meant to do with all that? It will swallow me whole. I know. You fall into it like a fucking. Maybe one day she'll show you the Bronx. Yeah, I'm trying to see the Bronx. Oh, goodness gracious. You guys got any plans for the weekend?

Rome? Nashville. Doc's going to link up with Henry? Yeah, I'm going to go down with Henry. Oh, you're going with him? Well, not with him. He's flying out of a different airport than I. You're going to see Compton out there?

What is the purpose? Just fun? Yeah, just a little bit of fun. Content? Good, good. Yeah. You stay in New York for too many weekends, you wind up getting depressed. Brother, weren't you just in Italy twice?

That's what I'm saying, brother. For weeks at a time. He's on a one-weekend streak in New York City. And I felt it creeping in, dude. The blade was looking tasty. You got to link up with my boy Matt out there. Your boy Matt's in Nashville? Yeah, you met him. Of course. Horny Batman's out there. Your boy Matt's in Nashville? Yeah, you met him.

Of course. Horny Batman's in Nashville. Horny Batman is in Nashville. Jelly Roll's in Nashville. Everybody's in Nashville. I might try and link up with Jelly Roll, my boy Luke. Play some Topgolf, do some axe throwing. You could do axe throwing in Bloomfield, New Jersey.

Yeah, I could go to Bloomfield, New Jersey. Leave that, yeah. I could do that tonight in Bloomfield, New Jersey. Yeah, I could go to Bloomfield, New Jersey. Leave that, yeah. I could do that tonight in Bloomfield, New Jersey. There's a place called Buried Hatchet. It's in Bloomfield, New Jersey, and they have axe throwing. That's a good name for a hatchet throwing place. Hatchet? Yeah, yeah, true.

A hatchet. Zod, what did you tweet this past weekend? Did you do something regrettable, or is it just a standard drunking or hungover anxiety? This weekend? Oh, he's accessing it. I can't even remember. I think you tweeted something about like, I gotta stop getting drunk and embarrassing myself.

Oh, yeah. No, I did get wasted. But it was just run of the mill. Nothing crazy. I mean, it didn't make it. The actual crime didn't make it online so i'm not going to reveal it but i did yeah there is oh no there's always like a literal crime there is always a crime bro i feel that i feel like i've been in violation of the law for

about not not the law humanity so i violate humanity's laws not uh yeah definitely you have to elaborate against the code yeah what code did you break not even in the law it's not technically illegal was it bro code was it

I didn't think they had to explain this one so my thing is I am a completely different human being when I'm drunk than when I'm sober

like I'm a completely different human I'm very aggressive very very chit chatty when I'm with my mouth when I'm drunk than when I'm sober. I'm a completely different human. I'm very aggressive, very chit-chatty with my mouth when I'm drunk. That was Sunday night. That wasn't Saturday.

How was that? That was great. Were you bearing gifts? Yeah, I brought him cigars. Because you were like, you didn't know what to bring them, right? People tweeted. Cigars is a good choice.

How much did you spend on them, can I ask? They were, which, yo, I didn't realize cigars were this expensive. I know. Per stick, the ones I got were like, I think like 15, 20 bucks a stick. Damn. Must have been good cigars. I mean, it's fucking large. The guy has everything on the planet. I got a cigar guy for you.

We'll never let you spend that much time. Oh, yeah, Brandon Brennan Walker Smoking Shop. There you go, smoking light. There's a cigar spot across the street where they just roll them up right in there. It's like a sweatshop over there. Yeah, there's a guy of my... Wait, are you talking about the lounge on, like, I think it's like on 35th or something? No, I'm talking about the one that's literally across the street right next to the healthy deli or whatever the fuck.

There's a lounge on 35th. Is it a spinner? Lounge on 35th. That's very nice. Apparently, top cigar place. Yeah, it's a wheel. I got to get out to them. I want to be more of a cigar guy, but I never really find the fucking time.

Spin the wheel earlier today. Let's spin it now. We're not waiting until like 2 o'clock and spinning it. Yeah, you got to get out of here. I don't have to get out of here i just have you felt like you've gotten a little bit more stanima ever since that first day when you were losing your voice yeah i've paced myself a little bit i i was able to sit out a couple shows and stuff and you were screaming on your show last night yeah i was i was laughing. Yeah. Screaming, though. Did someone rank fucking Field of Dreams

higher than fucking... It's football season now. Somebody had a bad LSU take. Somebody had a bad LSU take that said something stupid about LSU. I only bring out the loud laugh about once every month or so.

That was a cackle. It was funny. I was laughing. We don't have to watch it. Yes, yes. We watched KB's performance. I thought it was funny. It's loud.

It's going to blow your eardrums out. Hey, B-Walk. I just want to first off thank you for the unblock on Twitter, but wanted to wonder why you're so down on the LSU Fighting Tigers this year when over 91% of the money in Vegas is over their seven win total. The wide receiving group and defensive line group are probably the two best in the country.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. best in the country. I love you riling up college kids. Yeah, it's fun. It really works. You can tell he's not from Louisiana at all. You can tell that he's that was a Northeastern voice. He came down from White Plains to LSU. Their wide receiver group.

Who would you say the best wide receiver in D-line groups are? Wide receiver is Ohio State followed by USC and D-line is Clemson followed by Alabama. You like the boy Harrison Jr.? Oh, he's fantastic. He might be better than Jackson Smith and Jigba. Well, Smith and Jigba is the best receiver in the country. Jigba?

Oh. Yeah. I mean, people thought that about Olave before Garrett Wilson popped up. Well, Olave was still one of the top three receivers in the country. I'm saying Marvin Harrison Jr. could be pretty good. You think he's going to be better than Smith and Jigba? I think that he could be. He has that different profile.

He has that size profile. But Smith and Jigba. I mean, Smith and Jigba. I think that he could be. He has that different profile. He has that size profile. But Smith and Jigba. I mean, Smith and Jigba had a great bowl game, but are we captive to the recency bias? No, I don't think it's recency bias. I think the others on that team have said that Smith and Jigba is the guy. You know, I think Oregon is going to make a good banter. I just want to challenge my guy.

You know what I mean? Iron sharpens iron. I think Oregon is going to give Georgia a fight this weekend. I don't think so. I don't know. They're soft on the lines, and Georgia's one of the best on the lines teams in the country. Maybe Dame will do a deal breaker or some type of event at his Toyota dealership. Dame Lillard?

That would be awesome. I could see that game being one score game in the fourth quarter. How far is Portland from Eugene? That's a couple hours, isn't it? An hour and a half or so? 90 minutes? Or you just fly right into Eugene, I guess. Oh, no. Why?

Where's the line in Oregon? Oregon is that weird state that's super liberal and then super conservative. I think as soon as you get out of that Portland metro. And it's all – College towns. It's pretty –

It's even more like – Maybe not. I don't know. It's conservative like militia. It's stark. Yeah. It's far left and far right in the same state. It's not middle.

I mean, that's what New York's like. But it's more like just staying off my – No, nothing is like Oregon because... How long? Hour 45? I said hour 30. Oregon. Good call.

Portland, Oregon might be the most... It's the home of Antifa. And if any way... Basically, they'll burn down your... They'll flip your car if they find out that you're anywhere to the right of... I love the show Portlandia by Fred Armisen. Of Fidel Castro. He's hilarious.

Really good. Wasn't he on... He was the quarterback for Appalachian State. Okay, yeah. Have you ever been to Portland? No, and that's probably the last city I want to ever visit. Maybe. The last city you ever want to visit.

What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Oh, butt stuff. That actually might be a fun visit. Maybe. The last city you ever want to visit. What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Oh, that actually might be a fun visit. I bet. After hearing what Ina Lanzo said about fucking... It might be more fun in Portland. Turn your brain off and let them go to town. Frank,

have you ever considered that the news is kind of incentivized by the marketplace to give you negative news about things? And it might taint your perception because how ravenously we consume things that are, you know, doom and gloom. If it bleeds, it leads, you know? Oh, yeah. There's no doubt about that. No, it's almost like the news media is as crooked as the politicians.

Oh, no doubt. You can't believe everything you hear from the news media, then you've got to get to Portland yourself and make up your own mind. Eh, well, I would go to Eugene or... Also, you're kind of in the media, Frank, so who do you trust? Can you even trust yourself?

Can you trust what you say about the Mets, Frank? Or are you just doom and glooming your way into some good interaction? Well, it's always doom and gloom. Yeah? It's always doom and gloom. Yeah? It's always doom and gloom. I'd love to go out to Oregon. They have a great food truck scene out there, Frank.

Have you considered that? It might be because I'm a fucking lib. I was dating a girl in seven. I don't know who moved to Oregon with her family. I feel like most cities boast a good food truck scene now. Most do? They boast about New York. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah

we i don't see food food trucks in new york we trucks i mean not where we are what about the halal truck right across the street that's not a truck he can't drive that or the uh the fucking taco truck that's right at the block they can't drive those things those are stands those are stands dogs their parts count as trucks. A cart's not a truck. It's the same thing. Attached to a truck. That's fine. Attached to a truck. I've always wondered, does Portland actually even have hot dogs?

I've always wondered that too. I've always wondered that. And if they do... I've heard they've got dogs made out of beans and seeds. Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me. And guess what they'd use as dressing. Chia dogs. No, what they have is a good praying mantis dog.

I mean, it would strike me as the first city where you'll have vegan mandatory. Yeah, they had a vegan strip club. Now, Frank, what do you think about this? Free public transit. Free public transit? Well, I always say you get what you pay for. You pay for Jersey Transit and you hate it. Yeah, well, it sucks.

So you would like to pay more? As bad as it is, as bad as it is, you should pay me to fucking ride it. You should do a yak from Portland. So why don't you fly to work and pay a premium? I would love to go to Portland. I've never been out there. Portland's beautiful. I've never been there. Fuck. I don't know fly to work and pay a premium? I would love to go to Portland. I've never been out there. Portland's beautiful. I've never been there.

Fuck. I don't know why I said it. There's other great cities in Oregon. Salem? Eugene? Corvallis? I mean, the whole Willamette Valley produces some of the best Pinot Noirs in the entire country. Ramona Quimby was from Oregon.

Damn. So I wouldn't write off the whole state, but... Vancouver? Or was she from Washington? Vancouver? Where was Ramona Quimby was from Oregon. So I wouldn't write off the whole state, but Vancouver. Where was she from? Washington. Vancouver. Where was Ramona Quimby from? Washington. I remember that bitch. I remember that bitch fucking like it was yesterday. Where was Beezus from? Where was Beezus and Ramona from? Beezus.

God damn. Ribsy? They got her on a technicality one time. She fucking said that they chopped a hole in her wall, and then she was telling the whole class, and they were like, you didn't get a hole chopped in your wall. No. And then her fucking friend.

Were they calling bullshit on her? They called bullshit, and she was like, tell them that they chopped a hole. And he was like, no, they didn't chop a hole. Henry! Henry did that shit! Henry fucking flipped on her. And then afterwards, she was like, why'd you flip on me? She was fucking crying.

And he was like, well, they didn't chop it. They cut the hole in her wall. Henry fucking Huggins. That piece of shit. That was supposed to be her woe-dy, dude. That was supposed to be her day one, dude. Ramona and fucking Beezus. Beezus and Barrow.

Blood gang. Brolickey, bro. Braxton Berrios is definitely one of the most thugged out receivers in the league. Braxton Cheerios. Frank, is the Nike factory in Oregon? I believe it is. I thought it was in China. Well, the factory's in China.

Nike headquarters are definitely in Oregon. They probably have multiple factories in China, don't you think? Yep. If you ever read Phil Knight's book, though, he says that they have some of the best working conditions in China. So they might not be up to U.S standards but the chinese standards they surpass yeah that's that's kind of like saying that uh that that that sweatshop is has uh a fan so it's not as sweaty as anyone else right right i gotta get you to hong kong for yes frank. Frank does Hong Kong. It's amazing. Would that be funny, Frank, or what?

They have guns out there. In Hong Kong? I think so. They got 3D printed guns. Right. Where was that? Was that Japan? Something like that.

They killed that guy? AB had a real thoughtful period about two minutes ago. I was really wondering what you were thinking about. You seemed like you were working something out. Yeah, I was just thinking of topics. For real? Just thinking of what I've been doing. Can I tell you all the truth?

He said they had 3D printed guns. I really don't know what a 3D printer actually is. It's just... No, I can't really... You can't conceptualize what a 3D printer is. No, absolutely not. It's a home factory. A regular printer prints ink onto paper. I understand. A 3D printer is. No, absolutely not. It's a home factory. A regular printer prints ink onto paper.

I understand. A 3D printer prints like plastic. So it takes like plastic. Pull up on a video. To me, it's just a machine. It's not a printer at all. It's a robot that makes... Why don't we call it a printer? Oh, it is a printer because you put what you want to print in the thing. You download like the file, put it in, and then

it like does this thing where it just goes back and forth and it comes out. It's a machine. Show him. It's a printer. Can we show him? Cultivator. There's videos of it. I think Jeff Dunham made a puppet out of a 3D printer. Out of the 3D printer? It's talk? Yeah, he made a puppet.

He probably capitalized as much on 9-11 as the Saudis did. Yeah. Well, ironically, he's a terrorist character. He fucking caked up. He's one of the most paid comedians in the world. 9-11 as the Saudis did. Yeah. Well, ironically, fortunately, yeah. He fucking caked up. He's like one of the most paid comedians in the world. Ironically,

I think the thing he made on the 3D printer was the terrorist character's son. Was it actually? Yeah. So this is how it works, Brandon. I know that, Ron. I see it.

Why do you mean you know it? I was just trying to contextualize for our podcast listeners. Something pops up on on the screen how we know this video isn't fake i mean because you can see them in real life damn oh yeah like that guy's shirt it's funny when handsome ass dudes do shit like this yeah i saw like a beautiful girl woman uh riding a skateboard on the street this morning. It made you feel. She was so bad. I was like, yeah, there is a balance to the universe.

You can't have both. She can't have everything. She probably likes being bad. She was struggling so hard. I was watching Rudy. He was relacing his shoes today, and it was like watching a monkey do algebra. It was embarrassing. You've got to be pretty good at skateboarding to bring it out on the street. Watching Rudy try to – he was relacing his shoes today, and it was like watching a monkey do algebra. It was embarrassing. You know –

You've got to be pretty good at skateboarding to bring it out on the street. Do it in public at all. You know, Jeff Dunham – That's why I don't want to buy that. You've got to be able to all in. You know, Jeff Dunham's new thing is that he has the old man character, Walter. That's not new at all. That's 20 years old.

But here's the thing. Walter looks strikingly like Joe Biden. So now he's transformed Walter into Joe Biden. I interviewed him one time and I couldn't remember if he was there with his wife. No, no. He was

there. Jeff Dunham was with his wife and I couldn't remember if her name was Audrey or Aubrey. It was fucking infuriating. When he wants her to talk, does he stick his hand up her butt? He wasn't. I couldn't see both of his hands, so he could might have been doing that the entire time. This is hilarious. Oh, I'm on, right.

Good afternoon, morning, evening. I don't know. How much money is a son of a bitch made? Joe, God damn much. This is bullshit. Joe, God damn much. This is bullshit. Joe, God damn much. I am. Because there's no one else that does, man. So goddamn much. This is bullshit. So goddamn much. This is bullshit. So goddamn much.

I am. Because there's no one else that does puppets. I knew that. Who's that guy supposed to be? Welcome to my news conference. Oh, my God. And welcome to our esteemed press corps. They're all here.

Wow. That was Bubba. Would you rather watch this for 24 hours or get bamboo sticks under your cuticles for 45 minutes? It would be this, but five weak nails. I know many of you Yeah, I cut my nails this morning, so it would be pretty bad.

I started watching Mindhunter last night. You guys ever watch that? No. Mindhunter? I've heard of it. Mindhunter? Show. Been around.

What type of show is it? CIA show or what? FBI. FBI? Pretty good. What's the premise? It takes place in the CIA show or what? FBI. FBI? Pretty good. What's the premise? It's like it takes place in the late 70s, I believe. And they're like, it's like when serial killers are first popping off and they're just doing a bunch of studies on them.

Yeah, they came out hard. Oh, yeah. They came out swinging. Really? Salad-based serial killer? I didn't even know that they didn't coin the term serial killer until like the late 70s or the early 80s Yeah, they called them son of Sam. Yeah that will son of Sam was like one of the first ones and they call Quints killers. Yeah, I wonder why I like killers better

There was a gentleman in Alaska who played like the most dangerous game with prostitutes. He would hunt them really what year was this? I forget say if you want to kill someone you got to kill it. You would hunt them. Really? What year was this? I forget. Say if you want to kill someone, you should kill a prostitute. Because their life has the least meaning? Because it'll take longer for people to look for them. It's true. If you're going to, you might as well.

Authorities. We don't condone it, but if you're going to... A lot of serial killers, the first people they kill is a prostitute to get a taste. A little warm-up. You might want to check out Little Sass' house. Have there been any disappearances lately in New York? Little Sass loves to pay for sex, yes.

And then murder after. Pays for the murder. The sex is free. A bunch of people hit me up and they're like, oh, you've got to watch Mindhunter. I heard it was good. I started watching it. If you heard that one person in this office had been a CIA operative for their entire time at Barstool, who would surprise you the least? Hmm. I could see Large being a good CIA.

Yeah. I think Nate would surprise me the least. Nate? Nate? Who would surprise you the least? The least. Maybe Fitzsimmons. I could see that

This was supposed to be his fake job But he just got really into it And loves the company He's getting in trouble back at the CIA I'll tell you who it is Who is it Frank? Donnie He's never here

He's in Iraq He's in Iraq yeah he's in China oh he's over there getting his orders it's not him I know him too well you think he's an arms dealer

I'm worried about he's rediscovering America yeah there you go there's your CIA operative what are you worried about not worried about I'm interested in

Jack Mack's trajectory in life it's I think he's I don't know where it's gonna be it's gonna be something crazy I think I was saying it earlier in a good way I think Jack Mack's trajectory in life. I don't know where it's going to be. It's going to be something crazy.

I was saying it earlier. In a good way. I think Jack Mack is one of the culture leaders of Barstool. He is. Jack Mack being the best TikToker in the company is a turn I didn't see. He's great at TikTok. He's got like 280,000 followers. Yeah, that's crazy. They're good videos. He just hit the formula. He knows how to 280,000 followers. Yeah, that's crazy. They're good videos.

He just hit the formula. He knows how to do the formula correctly. Every time they bring him up in a meeting, they're like, we can't believe it. He sucks. But he – It pisses him off so much. Give him the most backhanded compliments ever. They're like, oh, and he's just social.

I mean, he was hard for content. He's great at what he does. Yeah, the videos are good. Yeah. That's what they did to me when my YouTube started doing well. They were like, it doesn't make sense. They're like, we don't understand why. It doesn't make sense. They're like, you don't even have a header. Yeah, that's...

So what's your guys' nickname for a throat fuck? Yeah, yeah. None yet? That was when they said that if I added a header to my YouTube channel, I would get a million subscribers. Like that. Still waiting on 100. It's not all about the loopholes. Nah, there's too many social, I don't know, that's too close to home.

Who do you think are the other cultural leaders in the office other than Jack Mack? Tommy was asking this. Not Tommy, you. Tommy was desperate to be told that he was one of them. No. I told him. Tommy was pissed. Tommy was asking this. Not Tommy. You. Tommy was desperate to be told that he was one of them. No. I told him. Tommy was pissed.

He was. He made me keep listing people until I said him. He was like, all right, who else? Yeah. Who else?

People get really pissed at those meetings. About not being listed as things? They don't get a name drop. I know. People get fired up. Like 20 minutes afterwards

people are just pacing around fuming. Brandon, you? I was a major part of this meeting, so I'm satisfied now. Right, but in old meetings when they would like, they'd save it till the end because they knew you'd get pissed. They'd save bringing you up till the end. That's a thing that you and Dan started. I never reacted at all.

And every time they don't say my name, Dan looks at me until I react to him. No, there was a time when you were insecure about how much you got mentioned and it was before you were getting paid a ton and it was while you were doing a bunch of shows to prove your worth because you felt like you still needed to prove yourself. But now you don't feel like you need to prove yourself.

I'm doing more shows now than ever. Exactly. And you mention it less than ever because you've gotten to a point of validation where you just know that you're fucking lit. You're good to go. It's beautiful to watch. Well, that was enjoyable.

I enjoyed that conversation. You know what? I finally watched all the surviving Barstool, and I can't get enough of that shit. It's pretty good. I love that shit. I like things that make me feel emotions, even if they're negative. Stephen Chay was also born to be in a show like that. Yeah, he's perfect.

Or Grace not being able to lie on that one clip. Did you see that? That was funny. Grace just like... Yeah, that's perfect. Or Grace not being able to lie on that one clip. Did you see that? That was funny. Grace just like... Yeah, that was so funny. It was just preposterous. It was just... It made me feel something.

Exactly. You know what I mean? It elicited a genuine human response in me, which, you know, I crave. You can't always... Yeah, that's way better than boredom. Frank, did you switch seats? What the... What the?

What the fuck? Whoa! Hey, yo! Hey, yo! What? You don't look shocked at all. Look at this. Magic of digital editing.

Oh, come on. What do you guys call a deer that's blind? Okay, now we're talking. I've never referred it to it as anything. Oh, no idea? And I only answered that because of the way you fucking...

Oh, wait. ...eye-boshed my goddamn pirate joke. That doesn't make sense. Just because you're blind doesn't mean you don't have eyes. Yeah, it probably still has... ...eyes. They just don't work. That should be the thing.

Blind people should have to have their eyeballs removed. Blind people. That shit is gross. I thought you said black people their eyeballs removed. Blind people. That shit is gross. I said black people. I didn't hear that. I don't know what that is. Yeah, me shaking my boots was it. Yeah.

Oh, shit. That should definitely be a thing. Oh, hear him out. Hear him out. Maybe. I don't know. Still be better at some basketball. Hear him out. It has a good for maybe, I don't know, still be better at basketball. Equalizer.

Win Latifah? Queen. What else do we got? I'm looking forward to wearing Roback all weekend because it's the comfiest. I like your hat. Double hat. Thank you. But if you guys want to wear Roback, you can use the code YAK on Roback.com

for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. They got good hats. Damn straight they do. They got good ass lids. I was just packing for Asheville. Oh, Zal, what you're wearing is what I love, like the lightweight sweatshirt. Bro, they are the most comfortable sweatshirts ever.

I need like every color that they have. I got a great color. That thickness also works for, like, any weather. Look at it. It's amazing. Yeah, literally. It's light. You're warm.

You're good to go. You're looking good. It's great. You look great, Zaha. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You guys can, too, for.

No, now that it's September. 20% off at rowback.com. I'm feeling that crispness in the air. Through the end of the week. Well, it's humid right 20% off at rowback.com. Start feeling that crispness in the air. Through the end of the week. It's humid right now, but we're close. We're close. It's the fall. It's the fall.

We've got to get through Monday. I mean, it's the fall, though. It's the fall. Don't you think? It's the fall. When are you heading out? Probably tomorrow, midday. Something like that.

You trying to get on board? I might. Come on, bro. I Trying to get on board? I might. Come on, bro. I don't know. Why? Shit to do. You don't? I got places to be this weekend.

You literally don't have anything to do. Where you got to be? I got shows, bro. Just Friday. He's free the rest of the weekend. I got Friday and Saturday. Three-day weekend. I'll meet you out there.

What? Three-day weekend. Where are your shows at? Yeah. Yeah. Let's promote it. Come on. Come on. We at? Yeah Yeah Let's promote it Come on Come on We really got shows

Let's promote them Where are you lying? Well I have spots Mike we're on his ass The stand Don't let up Back up Back up

The stand Yeah Before we get a private club Yeah Yeah Yeah I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm It's called Mom's Basement What's the address? Harvey Fox at a private club? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Mom's Basement. What's the address? Harvey Fox? It's doing the Knights of Columbus in Valley Stream, Frank. Someone just hit me with a remix to the pirate joke.

Another one? Yeah, what's the pirate's least favorite letter? The pirate's least favorite letter? Yeah, it's T. T? Yeah, it's T T? Yeah, they always boo T Thank you Thank you, Slop to Miss Prime

Shout out Slop to Miss Prime Slop to Miss Prime's great That's funnier than the joke Slop to Miss Prime is a way better joke. That gives him way more fucking hunger of a leash to make more jokes. Anytime, Sloptimus. You got some shit. Get in the writer's room, brother.

We fucking got you, doggy. You can come up with Sloptimus Prime. You can come up with anything. Yeah, you're a fucking savant. There's no limits to your jokes. Spin the wheel. I like how we said we're gonna do it early and then 45 minutes

still did it a little earlier exact same piece for me same piece same piece about to go get some fucking donuts while I'm in Nashville I've been fucking

craving them all week the ones that Compton got for us were the best I've ever had where are they from? What's the name of the place? I can forget everything about it. Yeah, I don't know.

There's a place called, like, Five Daughters or something like that? Yeah, I think that's it. Is that what it was? I think that's it. Oh, no, it's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek.

It's Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek. Do-do-do-do-na, do-do-do-do-do-do-na, do-do-do-do-do-do-na. Have we had him do Rico sighting yet? The two of them together? Look at that fade. Ooh-wee. He's got a much better haircut than he had when he came in for the...

He doesn't have a haircut. It's just... No, it's a buzz. No, it's a much better haircut. It's a good fade, yeah. Uh-oh. His ass is that. You know who it is, dumbass.

God damn. Recognize that ass from a mile away. Gravitational pull. Knows what he's doing. Ass like an onion. Antoinette spoke to the sun. You can't eat that. Let who eat cake, bro?

Isn't that from Breaking Bad? I think that's one of the funniest lines of any show. What did they say? He goes, ass like an onion, make you cry. Feel that collection of human beings right there. Yeah, that is. That's a good squad. That's my Mount Rushmore right there.

Just like that. That's a painting. Reverse engineer that Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore of what? Yeah, we got to start reverse engineering. Mount Rushmore. Less than a millimeter of hair. About Mount Rushmore of guys who will tell you they know how to change a tire but actually can't.

All right, break. That's good. Damn, that was good. All right, break. Oh, okay. Tico, Tico, Texas. Tico, Tico, Texas. Mine's well. Tico, Tico, Texas. Tico, Tico, Texas. Mine's well. Texas. Tico,

Tico, Texas. Tico, come on in. What's up, Rome? The time is near. The time is now. What's cracking, y'all? What's up? Great blog today. Thank you so much. You read it? Oh, yeah. I was reading it. I like how you bold, underline, and italicize.

Yeah. I only have one. Thank you so much. Black slant. You use brackets too, right? I used what? You have brackets? Yeah, definitely.

Or stars. You know what I mean? Why? I don't like just having a little bit of seasoning. If I'm having a taco, I want maybe three types of salsa on top of it. You know what I mean? I don't need just the bold. You know what I mean? I don't need just the bold. You know what I mean?

I want the bold, the italics, maybe the squiggly lines, fucking slants. That's my slant on it. Shit. Shit. And I heard how y'all was talking that shit, letting that white hoe say that she would beat my ass. Yeah, we let her say that. Oh, that's soft. What are we going to do?

That's not our fight. What do you want us to do? We're trying to help you out. I'm trying to get up in there, but it's just crazy how she calls me out on your show. She did. When I talk to her, she's completely scared to fight you. What did she say? She won't do it.

Oh, wow. I'm trying to set it up for the Ruff and Rowdy fight. Oh, Tico and Ruff and Rowdy. Come on. That would set the building on fire. You know what I'm saying? And I'm like, Caroline, let's do this. She runs away. She's scared.

I don't know what I gotta do. She's talking all that crap, but then when it cuts down to the realness, she's just yakking. She's not here for the scrapping. What about Nichols? Can y'all help me with that? Maybe convincing her?

Don't you have like three new enemies? Which ones? Jackie, Caroline, and Rose. Che. Well, Che should be in there. He should be the main one. Let him up. Because you guys were supposed to stick together.

He's a little taller than me. So I don't know. I think you've got to. Caroline's the same height as me. Same build. It's a good matchup, yeah. It'll be a good matchup. The problem is that if she came in here here she would say that she'd do it but then in the outside when you had a real conversation

i think that it would be more of that she's not interested in doing i won't poke your eyes out he's scared i think she's scared to lose but it's like all players lose sometimes you know what i'm saying real yeah yo l like a g that's do. Okay. Caroline, I'm trying to fight you rough and rowdy 100%. Like, I'm with it. Jackie, too. Shit, Che. I'll do that shit, too. At the same time.

Me and Ebony. Me and Ebony versus Jackie and Caroline. That's actually crazy. That's actually incredible. Four rounds. Damn. You go one. She goes one.

You go one. She goes one. That's crazy. That'd be's crazy Hell yeah Team boxing sounds incredible You go, she goes You go, she goes I think we should try to set that up

What? We're geniuses If it's Tico against Che I don't think we see a second round She would whip his ass. I agree. He fucked me in Survivor, man. A lot of people are saying

they got fucked. I don't understand because it's a game where only one person can win. I don't understand that aspect where people are like, you had an alliance. But it's still the game. If your alliances are fucking you early... Like, okay, later in the game, of course, all alliances have to...

Don't you wish you fucked them right off the rip? How they fucked you? You should have fucked them, Tico. You should have fucked them. Yeah, you're right. I don't think you have to have any loyalty to any of those people because only one person can win. You can just be loyal to the soil, dude.

That's the only thing you can be loyal to. You know how Tauruses are. That's why, like, Tommy... When Tommy's always like I bring my alliance to the end That doesn't do anyone anything good I mean it's good It puts the lie in alliances

There's no point There's no benefit to I guess camera time But getting out Coming in third versus coming in last You still didn't win Second place, first loser I read something that I think the majority getting out, coming in third versus coming in last. Like, you still didn't win. That's true. Second place, first loser.

That's what I told the girls on the reunion. I read something that I think the majority of baseball fans, or the largest percentage are, are Latin Americans. Really? Yeah, if you want to. I think they make up some. Latin America? Baseball is crazy in Puerto Rico.

Like golf fans. The whole Latin America. Haiti, you know. Venezuela. Dominican baseball players. I'm with Owen. I think he should change to golf fans. Really?

What about Tiger Woods? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit. We don't have no more Babe Ruth. He's a golfer. He's not a golfer. Hurling fans. I think every league's been Robinsons, though.

I don't think he, like. There's definitely some sports. Serena Williams yesterday. Yeah. She knocked off the number two In the world And the Reporter goes Are you surprised with your play And she just looked at her like

I'm Serena Williams They always try to play her I don't know why She's one of the greatest Yeah that was effed up that they tried to play her. So let's think about how we can make this Caroline fight a reality. How can we instigate

this? How can we make it more real? Because we've seen people like Dana B and Gay Pat act like they were going to fight at a rough and rowdy, but it didn't materialize because there wasn't enough wind beneath their wings. How do we get some gusts going?

I think maybe I, like, charge her up in the office. I don't think you should do that. I mean, what does that entail? Like, charge her like an electric bike. With a plug in her? You know what? Y'all know what charge up means? Kind of like run down.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Is there physical contact? Maybe, like, down. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Is there physical contact? Maybe like a little embarrassment, like everyone's thinking you're scary will kind of intimidate you into being like, I'm not scary, you know? Because you can't kind of throw your hand and then hide it, right?

I didn't call her out. Did I call her out first, or did she call me out first? She did call you out first, and now she wants to act like it's a freaking big joke? What? A good fight like that would I think that would

both of you, I mean it'd be numbers. Who's gonna win, Saint? I'd have to go with Tico on that. Well, how can we promote this fight? How can we make this a reality? Frank, you know the fight game like the back of your hand. We gotta bring Caroline in here. We got to have...

Is she here? Can you do that? She's here. I saw her flirting. I saw her flirting by your desk earlier. Who is she flirting? She's flirting with KB and Nick. I don't know.

It's always in their faces. It's okay in here. Every time I turn around, she's in KB and Nick's face. I'm like, damn. Is that a violation or something? She's trying to climb her way up to the top. She's trying to get in. Anything you want to tell us, KB and Nick's face I'm like damn Is that a violation or something She's trying to climb her way up to the top She's trying to get in Anything you want to tell us KB

Damn dude Were you not talking to her today Anything you want to fucking tell us I got in rape at 158 or 1258 You want to grab Caroline No No Why

Why not Why not Grab it Grab Caroline Can you grab her if you see her? If she's in the bathroom. If she's in the bathroom. How do you know?

No, no. Sass is trying to avoid the confrontation. It makes him uncomfortable when things come to a head. He would have to pause the movie. Let's just find out right now. Exactly. You already confronted her. Bottom of it.

Well, I didn't really confront her. I was just like, hey, what's up with Ruff and Rowdy? Because it's like we can get paid to fight, or we can do it for free, or we can get paid. So she's just kind of like, uh, uh, uh. She doesn't like content. I mean, you get that fight set now. That's going to be all November. You're going to be hyping that. You're going to be training. You're going to be doing that. I mean, you get that fight set now, that's going to be all November. You're going to be hyping that.

You're going to be training. You're going to be doing that. I mean. When's the next one? December, right? December. Say that fight doesn't materialize. What's next for Tico Texas?

Man, you know, the Big Sean interview was this month. He's coming to HQ. It was or it will be? It will be. It's September 1st because he's coming here for Rolling Loud at the end of the month. Today's September 1st. You know, he lives in Sting the end of the month. Wait, today's September 1st. You know he lives in Sting's old house. Wait, Big Sean's coming in today?

No, no, no. At the end of the month. Sting from the police? In LA. Still has his same strip club set up in the basement. Yeah, I know. I read that. I read that.

Yeah, where he used to bring all his props. Hey, what's that dollar doing? That's rather conspicuous. You think someone's trying to poop dollar us right now? They wouldn't. Doesn't that look like a poop dollar dollar? Like, what is that dollar doing? That's rather conspicuous. You think someone's trying to poop dollar us right now? They wouldn't. Doesn't that look like a poop dollar dollar? Like, what is that dollar doing there? That does look like a poop dollar dollar.

Tash, go pick up that dollar. Is there a poop dollar somewhere? I don't know. It does look like poop dollar. Why would a loose dollar be doing? Like, what is its motive? How about my buddy wrote a little pilot, a short story one time about this credit card that got lost at a bar and it had to make its way home. I like stuff like that.

Was it for kids or for adults? For adults. But it was like an animated thing. But for adults. But it never got made. I wrote a short story in third grade about a half-sour patch kid, half-pop tart.

Oh, wow. Grew up in the woods. In the woods? Young mind. Wow. Man, that shit is way more creative than anything we're coming up with today. Yeah.

You feel like y'all would write a book one day? No. That's a good question, though. No, but I think so. I think you two should. Yeah, yeah. If'll write a book one day No That's a good question though No but I think so I think you two should Yeah yeah If I wrote a book It would be a collection of

One of those books A collection of smaller Tucker Max It'd be a Tucker Max type of thing We were talking to the dude Matt On Son of a Boy Dad

The guy Matt McCusker From Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast About writing books. He says he's trying to write a book that takes him 10 years to write. He hopes to spend 10 years writing one book. Yeah, he said he's working on one now, and he said after he finishes this one, he wants to write one that takes 10 years.

That's ambitious. Did y'all watch the Kanye documentary on Netflix? No, what'd they say about him? That took like 20 years. That's true. You didn't watch it? I watched the beginning. I didn't finish it.

Boyhood took like 22 years and was mid. Which movie? The movie Boyhood. Boyhood. That movie sucked. That movie sucked. I like that movie, but the concept was mind-blowing at first. I know, yeah.

If you pick two different child actors to play him as a 7 year old and as a 14 15 year old nobody would have given a fuck about that movie

but no you filmed it over 10 years so Poop Dollar thinks it's the greatest thing ever it sucked

Poop Dollar Brandon I like that movie that was a Poop Dollar Earl his sister though is like a brutal actor when she grows when they get older they're like Brandon. I like that movie. That was a poop doll. Earl, his sister though, is like a brutal actor when they get older.

When they're like graduating high school, the girl pisses me off. Yeah. Like I said, that movie sucks. She's hiding. Did you watch it? Yes. I didn't even wind up watching it.

I liked that movie a good bit. Really? Different tastes. But you're also a serial killer in training. Right, Frank? Boyhood. What about Boys in the Hood? I like that one too. What about Boys in the Hood?

Boys in the Hood's a classic. Boys in the Hood? That Timmy Trumpet shit was lit, Tico. On Singleton. You were quiet about that. What was that? In the trumpets, there you go. Everybody check out the surviving Barstool finale tonight, 7 p.m.

I will. No spoilers. Barstool Sports YouTube. It's going to be crazy. I'm dying to see the finale. Winner gets announced. Also check out the- Winner gets announced?

I have a big part. I have a big part. I have a big part in who wins. A big part? A big part. Did you make any... No, no spoilers. Is there any pizzazz out of Tico, Texas?

I convinced the girls to vote for me. Wait, wait, don't say it. I didn't say it. No, no, to vote who I wanted, not the person. I'm just saying. I convinced them. It's not a spoiler that the girls will be voting. Yeah, it's not no spoiler.

There's four girls on the... Oh! There's four girls on the council, and everyone knows that. That's already out there. Can you let everyone know that there's a new anus and a new son of a boy dad out today? Yes, indeed. There's a new anus, a new untold story, and a new son of a boy dad. You're always very nice with the retweets, and I appreciate it. Liberal with the retweets.

You are a liberal with the retweets. Laura, liberal with the retweets. Yeah, I love that. Why not? I support that. Which one do you like better, Anus or Son of a Boy Dad? Don't worry about it. It's not a question. It's just me and you talking.

I think that Anus tells some very interesting tales. Oh, wow. Some of those stories are told, though, if we're being honest. Thank you. Besides which? Are you looking forward to teaming up again in Philly? Yes, wow. Some of those stories are told, though, for being honest. Thank you. And besides which? Are you looking forward to teaming up again in Philly? Got to go with the Frankettes. Yeah.

God damn it, Frank. Let Vibs shoot your soda reviews. I forgot he... That was a fun game, Brandon. Thinking of which, I think it's time to do a nice auto review. I think, yeah, yeah, Vibs is probably right out there. Brandon, we should call up your kids and see which parent they like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would be fun. You absolute bastard. No, that would be a 4-0 sweep in my favor. Yeah, right. Actually, you owe us a cummed-in wife. You do. Okay. All right. I, you owe us a cummed-in wife. You do. Okay. All right.

I'm working on it. You're working on it? I have until the end of the year. It's binary. I have until the end of the year. Oh, you're stacking late fees. I have until the end of the year to make a baby. He said he's about to plant the seed.

Time's ticking. A fifth seed, inch by inch, row by row. A fifth seed. It still works. I'm going to have Bert Butler. Yeah, exactly. Watch out for that 12 seed. Get that fifth seed upset.

Did you move into your new house, Brandon? Tomorrow. Oh, for real? It gets there at 8, yeah. Which bedroom are you going to take? It has five bedrooms, so we've all got a bedroom except for one. Which one are you going to take? You going to take the best one?

Whichever one my wife doesn't take. That's some good fucking husband humor. You guys probably wouldn't get that. That is good. The furthest one away from my wife. We've been happily married for 10 years. Tomorrow's our 20th anniversary. It's so easy, dude.

It always plays. It always plays. It really is just a signifier of your attitude. And it's just like, I'm here to have a good time. Yeah, and it just, it covers up the fact

that I fucking hate her. And you're able to... It also kind of lays bare the fact you hate her. Way too far. Oh, there's Caroline. Oh, there's Caroline. Oh, there she goes.

There she go. You go out there, and we can probably lean from the context. Can you guys have the conversation? Yeah, I want to just see the body language, and we'll be able to fill in the blanks. Yeah, we'll kind of guess what you're saying. Go. I want her to go. She said it on the mic.

She already got to say her piece. Make sure it's behind the glass. Now we got a freaking situation. Is that the situation? Oh my goodness. Is she at the front? Yeah, she's right at the front. Where? I didn't see.

Just summon her right behind that glass. We're going to have her come in. Uh oh. She's swimming in her fucking... We do need more people on the show Let's try and get a couple more extras I might leave I want to leave I gotta get ready to do a podcast too

I have a final statement I'd like to read Alright you guys both have A minute Okay here's my final statement And I'm getting back to work I'm putting back to work. I'm putting the headphones on. Final statement on Chico, Texas.

You got to read it. Chico. Wait, let me finish. I don't really want the statement, are you going to fight in rough and rowdy or not? Let me finish my statement. Why did you come on here? I didn't. You came and grabbed me.

No. Two days ago, you came on here and said that you would fight me. Right? I'll wait until you're done, and then I read my statement did you did you say you would fight me my final statement on tego texas you will fight me tego i would like the statement yeah now 30 seconds not afraid of tego honestly people are saying i could take her i can okay i'm not I'm not hey let's do I'm not responding to this because I'm too busy doing my job something you could be doing right now rough and rowdy is part no no I'm hired to make content yeah rough and rowdy is content I know but I want to do comedy from someone that you said that you're not really I'm too busy doing my job

there was a little busy hustling had the guts to go up there and get in the box. Nico, you are obsessed with me. You don't have to be scared. And I don't care enough to spend any more time. You said my name first and now you're scared. That's the thing. That's kind of scary. Why are you so scared of me? Why are you so scared of me? Damn.

I would finish this off behind though. Yeah, I would. Frank, were you just making a chicken move? Chicken, chicken. Chicken, chicken. Don't throw your hand in there. Don't throw the rock in there. Hide your hand.

That's as much as we can get. I think we're going to wrap it up. Yeah, let's shut things down. It is content. Ruff and Roddy is content. Yeah. It could be comedy. I mean.

That's what I'm saying. She's talking about her job. What are you talking about? This is our job. It could be comedy. That's what I'm saying. What are you talking about? This is our job. It is our job. It is our job, literally. And it's great. What's wrong with it? I'm disappointed.

Are we getting a do in here? I'm disappointed. Might as well. At this point. Getting a do, Jerry, Rico, Marty, Nate. Getting a do. Getting a do. Kelly Martin. Nate. In here. Kelly Martin.

Kelly Martin in here. Ebony. Disappointed as well. Let's pack this bitch out. Bailey action. All right. She doesn't want to fight. Let's let them run the show.

We should all leave. What can we do? I'm actually game for that. We need your advice, bro. I am happy to see you. Where'd Kelly Martin go? She doesn't want to come on? Yeah, let's get Kelly Martin.

Hey, dude. Did you use a pseudonym for Ebony's OnlyFans or no? You don't have to subscribe if she's going to. I didn't subscribe. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? You know what I mean? Is Mincy here? I haven't said I subscribe yet.

Ebony! Ebony! You guys want to ask Jeff to get closer to the mic? I want to use a shooter in him anyway. I want people to know. Ebony, come sit over here, Ebony. Ebony. Alright, bro.

Love you, brother. Tell me how you feel about this. Who else is coming in? Why did he call me in here? How do you feel about this? Frank says is coming in? Why did he call me in here? How do you feel about this? Frank says he's disappointed. I'm sorry. Look at that. I can't even put this damn shit on.

Why am I in here? Well, I mean, we did have an idea of a two-on-two rough-and-routy of Tico against Caroline and you against Jackie, and she fights the first round, and then you fight the second round, and then they go back for the third round, and you fight for the fourth round.

That sounds stupid. Okay. That's it? Yeah, that was the answer. First of all, I'm not fighting Jackie. Because that's your friend. Yeah, first of all, I wouldn't fight Jackie, first of all. If I fight someone, I'm going to fight someone.

You're just bringing in Random people You just bringing in everybody Big T Look Everybody's leaving Oh We love this No no they're just rotating out

Please We love this Please grab a seat Dude can you give me some advice Yeah what do you got What's going on Got uh Jake Bass

Ben Mint Caroline said On the show That she would fight me I wasn't in office When she said this She said she would fight me Right and Liam coming in. I'm going to get Kelly Martin and Rico. I wasn't in office when she said this. She said she would fight me, right? So I get in office. I'm like, let's fight for money for Ruff and Rowdy.

That's what you should do. So when she's like, I'm too busy doing my job. I can't fight. Right, right. But Ruff and Rowdy, your content, that is your job. You can train and become a fighter. So what are your thoughts? I think it would be a great matchup.

They're both similar body types. I think it would be a great matchup. They're both similar body types. I think it'd be a great fight. Isn't it kind of weird for her to call me out and then act so scary? Yeah, yeah. You gotta step up to the plate. I wasn't ready to fight,

but I fought anyway. Exactly. You gotta do what you gotta do. She's acting so scared. She's got plenty of time, too. Exactly. To get ready. I think it'd be a great fight.

I think so, too. You think so, too, Jake? Let's force her into this. I think it'd be a fantastic fight. Me, too. How. You think so, too, Jake? Let's force her into this. It'd be a fantastic fight. Me, too. How do we force her into doing this? How do we, like... I don't think...

Money talks, Tika. I don't think she wanna fight, but I'm just saying anybody in Barstow wanna fight me. Anybody in Barstow... No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You gotta get the powers that be.

Money talks. Exactly. That's how it is. Coming from Jeff... Coming from the duo. Money talks. What do you mean? It does.

In this case, it does. I mean, he made a lot of money on his fight. To get beat the fuck up, but yeah. First of all, Harry hit me twice, I think. Second of all, money's money. You do what you got to do. Money's money. Ben Mintz, would you fight if you were paid the right amount?

I would have always said no chance in hell until recently, and I've seen it also not just you get money, but it also gives you a big bump and prestige. I'm not much of a fighter though, but I went from saying no chance in hell to at least consider it. It's three one-minute rounds.

It's not a one-minute round. And it goes by so quick, man. Exactly. Well, you know when it's over. Man, I don't know. Can Chris Kelly sit on your lap? Yeah. Come sit on my lap. Come sit on.

Maybe. Who would you want to fight? Oh, wait, wait. Anybody? So you'd rather choose to sit next. Anybody can get it. He'd want to sit with Tico. I don't particularly want to, but there's nobody that likes.

You would say no to. Liam, I need a screen grab of this. You and Kamas to be a good fight. This is just weird today. There's a lot going on. This all stemmed from the Barstool Survivor. Was there a fight

that I didn't watch yet? Tico called out Caroline, but Caroline wouldn't fight, so then we had Jeff Nayadu come in to kind of talk about his experience, but Ebony was brought up into the mix kind of as like

maybe there's a two-on-two with her against Jackie and Tico against Caroline. So we wanted to bring in Ben Mintz and Jake to see, kind of get their perspective. And if Big T would have fought, he kind of could have found out like a

two-on-two scenario. And that's why we need Jake in here to kind of have eyes on that situation with Clemmer. Joey, Joey, Joey, you have to understand, she called me out two days ago on the yak. Saying she wanted to fight you. That she could beat my yak. You gotta fucking fight.

You can't call someone out and then not fight. And then not fight. Now she's kind of backing out. What type of baseball fan ass is this? Look at this plan. In your room. Come on over. In your room, Billy.

That's fucking funny. Yeah, he's got, Joey's got two legs. Owen, get your ass over here. What do you think, Joey? Do you think she should fight or do you think she was entitled to kind of talk the bullshit and just... I think, if I'm speaking honestly,

I think that she kind of got in the mix. The lines were blurred of the competitiveness about the reality show that you guys did and they kind of didn't know what was real and what was not. I think that Chico's very real about this and she will kick her ass and fight. Tico's just trying to make a coin.

I think that Caroline was just doing it to pump up the game and the competition of the game. Why don't we just get her in here? In here two days ago she would beat my ass unprovoked. You have to understand that. I didn't say I would beat her ass on Twitter or anywhere. She said it. But to be fair. But he said she would

eat my ass. Yeah she did. I said I would eat your ass. She said she'd beat your ass then eat your ass. She said it. But to be fair, she said she would eat my ass. Yeah, she did say that. Yeah, I probably would eat your ass. She said she'd beat your ass then eat your ass. You can't say that and then not fucking fuck. You can't do that. That's scary as fuck.

Come on, man. Well, I say a lot of people in Barstool do that a lot. So she's not the only one that does that. A lot of people do that. She was doing it for the clout. Billy, what you think?

What do you think, Billy? I'm kind of, what are we talking about? Billy's like, I'm just eating ass, Billy. Saying fighting words and then taking them back. Can you swallow a fight threat? Oh, yeah. No, that's Rico Bosco's M.O.

Caroline Bosco is her new name. All right. In other words, Jake, what do you think? Jake, come on. Come on, Jake. Jake, are you think Jake come on Jake are you Team Tico or not Don't just say that Because she's here And then say you're not Team Tico

When she's not here For the record I'm Team Tico Love that Everyone here is Team Tico Clemmer hasn't pronounced Because he was in the cast with her, and they have the same bone structure in some way. They're both thin.

They're both thin. He kind of looks like thin. He's being ventriloquized right now. Yeah, it does look like a little Jeff Dunham situation. I'm sorry, Tika. I like Caroline a lot. Caroline's great. You know, I would say after the first episode, though, you did threaten to beat up Caroline,

didn't you? Or you were angry with her after that first episode, though, you did threaten to beat up Caroline, didn't you? Or you were angry with her after that first episode? I was angry because of her power play. Angry because of the vote, but then me and her had a conversation right after, and we were good. It's life. And we've been good, honestly, you know?

And then she sent, like, a weird message on IG, and then I posted that on Twitter, and then the next day I hear about her calling me out when the yak posted it. And I was like, OK, cool. So I came into the office thinking like, oh, we about to get this bag together. We're going to be able to fight. And she was just completely like off of it.

But you had so much energy on the yak saying that you could take me and you could fight me. And other people in the office are saying that you can take me. So why don't you take me then, bitch? You know why? You know why I don't think she want to take you? Because she kind of like she tagged me and she was like, Ebony, if I pay you a certain amount of money, would you fight Tico? Wow. That's just like a baseball fan.

They want the black people to do their dirty work. Wow. Exactly what it is. She call you like a pit bull. Wait, so what did you think my answer was? Bitch, I didn't call out Tico. You did. I don't think you'd do it. I don't think you'd do it.

I don't think you'd do it. What was your answer? You think I would fight you for money, Tico? I think you definitely would fight me. Damn right! What are you talking about? I think if me and her could get in the same weight class, I would fight her for money too. It's not really win or loss. That's more ego. It's content. Yeah, but you don't want to get knocked out.

No one's going to get knocked out. It's a one-minute round. I want to hear the breakdown. If it was Caroline against Tico, what do you think kind of tail of the tape would be? What do you see as their kind of strength? Look at this fat mother. Y'all need to zoom back in to fucking this fat, greedy motherfucker over there. So this is why he pulled me in there so he could eat Chick-fil-A, you fat fuck?

Yeah, he is. Oh, the milk shop. I'm sorry. He's greedy as hell. What did you say you don't want to do? I, he is. Oh, the milk shop. I'm sorry. He's greedy as hell. What'd you say it ought to do? I said I think she would knock you out, personally. Who? Her.

Ebony? Yeah. Why? Because she's a little bit bigger than me? Yeah. So I'm saying, like, that's what it's supposed to be. I said on the record, I'd have to gain weight. I think she could hang with, like, fighter fighters.

At least for a round, I think. I mean, street fighting and train fighting is not the same thing. Yeah, and that's the thing. That's the thing, because I'm not going to lie. I'm a street fighter. If I know in the boxing ring, I would need to have some experience in training. You have plenty of time. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm down to fight Ebony. I'm down to fight Caroline. I'm down to fight Jackie. I'm down to fight you, too. I don't take that shit back. I'm down to fight Clancy. I'm down to fight Steven. I'm down to fight Joey. I'm down to fight Alex Bennett. I'm down to fight you too. I don't take that shit back. I'm down to fight Clancy. I'm down to fight Steven. I'm down to fight Joey.

I'm down to fight Alex Bennett. I would kind of like to see this matchup, the two of you guys, maybe some KY jelly and a blow up pool. We'll be doing a fight halfway there right now.

The reason he didn't get up yet is because FCC regulations will fine us after this. We're going to have to end the show before he stands up. But I think that this has really been illuminating. I think that if the fight ever happens, I think that we're going to need this entire crew to be ringside.

I would love that. No matter which one it is. It's the most random crew of all time. All y'all will be ringside? All y'all will be ringside? Totally. Totally. You really want to fight her, keep calling her out.

Yeah, okay. Let's hope to bear, keep calling her out. Yeah, okay. Poke the bear, you know? Okay, cool. It's not like bullying because she threw the first punch, you know? Exactly. Money talks, as I said. Caroline, we're going to get in a meeting with Dev and try to see what we can do because I need this to happen.

Seriously. Dude, well, for Jake, Joey, Chris, Tico, Ebony, Jeff, Connor, Ben, and Liam, and also Zah and TJ, I'm wrong. This has been the act. And also for Jake, who was here earlier, and Frank the Tank, who was here earlier, and Brandon Walker, who was here earlier. KB was here earlier.

Owen was here earlier. Billy Football was here earlier. Lil' Sass. Lil' Sass. Lil' Sass. Finally Lil was here earlier. Billy Football was here earlier. Little sass. Little sass. Finally, little sass. Signing off for the whole crew. I'm Roan, and we'll see you next week. Thanks so much.

Routy 19, baby! Subscribe to my OnlyFans. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act. It's the act.