The Yak - Behind The Scenes Of The Rasslin Theme Song, Is Wiping Your Butt Actually Bad, And The 1 lb. Booger

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

For real though, do you guys wipe your butt???You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's very similar to the Yak, except for more of it with fewer of us. It's kind of like Anus, but with me and Stephen Che here. It's me, Stephen Che, KB, Nick, and Owen's in here, but he doesn't have a mic. But you might hear some of his banter at some point. Silently. Yeah.

KB, why are you so pissed off today? Should I have an answer ready? I mean, is it impatience? You just feeling impatient today? No, we've been sitting here for 45 minutes. Exactly. Stevens prioritizing mansplaining Mia Khalifa. Mansplaining to Mia Khalifa.

Oh, I thought that he was explaining the concept of Mia Khalifa. Unless you would like to try. Well, you see, she got fucked on camera for money. It's a porn star. Porn is like a film, but you come while watching it. Yeah, I guess that's the only difference yeah well i mean

we were just talking about we're on twitter and john wall just got traded with a first run pick for russell westbrook um and then she was crying about it i get i assume she's a wizards fan and um yeah i mean i just quote tweeted and said uh i guess you don't imagine not knowing how the nba salary cap works which which is, I mean, John Wall is an albatross contract. You have to give up an asset to get an asset. Yeah, there has to,

she has to balance the books. She obviously has never balanced the books. Didn't she say she got paid like fucking $10,000 for her entire porn career? Yeah. Is that true? Vastly undervalued. That's like Robert Covington's contract. Coco.

Yeah, they got in early, but that's, that's what it Covington's contract. Coco. Yeah, they got in early. But that's what's been getting under KB's skin. Just he knows what porn is and he hates to hear it explained to other people. Yeah. That's what you were trying to do. Not in the porn sense. I mean, the NBA salary cap, I'd be happy to discuss.

They made them wear the hijabs. What? That wasn't like a choice yeah you have to wear it for this I don't even know what a hijab is what that's so insensitive you don't know what a hijab is I feel like I'm supposed to know

a handjob and a hijab it's a Middle Eastern headdress oh a head covering does she wear those in the job in a hijab. It's a Middle Eastern headdress. Yeah. Oh. A head covering. Does she wear those in the films? Oh, really? I'm not very familiar with her catalog. Well, how do you know

her then? You just know her as a... She's like kind of a pop culture person. Right? Is she? I think she's just porn for me. Yeah, porn for me. Only a porn star. I don't think you would know her. She hasn't even entered the pop culture realm. You would only know her if you've seen her porn.

If you searched. She makes comments that are somewhat controversial sometimes. Well, she's getting fucked. I don't follow her, but you guys brought it up. Well, she has a dick in her mouth. I can't comment. Not with a hijab. Yeah, I guess that isn't controversial.

It's right down the pipe. It's just regular old standard standard porno shit so she still does not or she doesn't in whatever this is december 2020 does not i'm not an active porn roster star right now yeah she's not she doesn't do porn right now i think she's a manager there's a hedge fund right yeah i think she does a hedge she still remains a startup oh she's on the top charts. She's still the top most viewed. She's like the Fleetwood Mac.

She retired, but she's still putting up numbers. But she has no way to get paid off of it. The queen of porn. Shorter career. It would have to be a shorter career. Than Fleetwood Mac? The queen of porn? The queen of porn. Because queen is still on the charts

They're done The Crazy Town of Porn The Crazy Town of Porn The William Henry Harrison Died of pneumonia Giving a speech He died giving a speech I don't know

Isn't he the shortest tenured president The shortest tenured president It would be ten years then He was in there for I don't know. Isn't he the shortest tenured president? The shortest tenured president? Yeah. It would be ten years then. He was in there for like two weeks. Damn. Embarrassing.

Stupid ass. But some of the other presidents. So lucky Twitter wasn't around. I would have flamed his ass. Boy. He's more memorable than other presidents because of the fact that he died so soon, though. So it was like he punched his ticket into posterity. That's really what most people who become president, that's all they give a fuck about is just being remembered. They don't want to govern.

They don't have the chance to be a bad president. Yeah. That's sick. He was probably going to be the worst. Also, usually on this show is Big Cat and Brandon Walker. And Brandon Walker has started his own podcast, though. So he refuses to do this podcast. He just said, I ain't doing it anymore.

All my attention is going to Rasslin. And folks, that's R-A-S-S L-I-N. That's Rasslin. That is. L-I-N comma. They forgot. They didn't know. Floating comma.

Just a real high up comma-N comma. And they forgot. They didn't know the apostrophe. Oh, yeah. Just a real high up comma. High comma. Yeah. Yeah. And so. Brandon was very secretive about his brand. And he didn't want us to say anything.

And so we didn't. We gave hints. And one of the hints was a tune. Yeah, a song just kind of popped on and it turned into a transformative moment. And I think that it's going to be a pillar of his podcast. People will probably just tune in

for the song, not the podcast. And this is that clip. Well, I'm getting really into wrestling. His quits coming up here anytime soon? There was a little bit of a Randy Newman, very literal element of like, he was literally just saying what he saw on Monday Night Raw. I like to get drunk and then beat my wife. I'll do it once and then I'll do it twice.

That's wrestling. One of the lines is literally just under the giant. Damn, he's tall. Yeah. Yeah. So Friday, I'll announce the name of it. Of what? My new podcast.

Oh, dude, we've moved on from that. We've talked about that 15 minutes ago. Sorry. That song makes me want to shoot the shit. Uh-huh. Shoot the leg. On a podcast. On a Friday.

Yeah. What did you say? Wrestling. That's wrestling. Rone could rewrite this song. He said I'll beat my I'll do it once and I'll do it twice. No, he won't do it three times. But that old bitch won't get three hits out of me. I got something more important to see.

That's wrestling. I don't got time to hit her three times. I got wrestling. I neglect my wife. I neglect my kids. And that's probably why they die to stiz. That's wrestling. Oh, Jesus Christ. We might have to have you remake this song. and that's probably why they died of stiz. That's right.

We might have to have you remake this song. Freestyle the whole thing. We could put it as like the intro to a podcast. Not a single wrestling reference. It's all just about his wife. How sad his life is. Just the hell that his wife's going through on a daily basis.

Do you remember I was saying that before you came in when Steven asked, because the act is actually going to be three years old soon. Shut up. Yeah. It can drink legally. Yeah. Legally drink.

If you're a wrestler. In wrestling years, it can drink. It can. I gave my old woman the mandible claw then did my kids up like Chris Benoit. That's wrestling. I see everything wrong. No. Shit.

I think you've got to remake that. Your mind fascinates me. The best part is that is wrestling. That is fucking genius. That really is. That is wrestling. That is wrestling. me the best part is that is genius that really that is that is that is right literally that was the worst line but it was also the most wrassling line there was everything else perfectly

dude my guy monday pulled the biggest fucking booger out of my head with that thing the biggest booger i've ever seen in my life and he's like he's like honestly like i'm i'm a medical professional and i shouldn't say anything but i'm not kidding this is the biggest booger i've ever seen and and i was like well so like are we good he's like i have to test you again i didn't get any skin i just got all booger jesus christ i was like yeah i've been working on that he's like you've been working on getting it out i was like no like making it and it like i think i lost like a pound i was i was legitimately embarrassed though i'd never get embarrassed in front of doctors

like that was just and it wasn't even like you could see the booger he just it was way up there oh he got the it was but it felt so good was it long or it was everything it was everything it was it was just the exact size it was a mold of the inside of my nostril like the thing was like the test you know it's like it was like bending like the weight of the booger like reeling in a big fish yeah it was exactly like really oh my thighs are so sore why oh i've been squatting and working out and things of the sort are you serious? Yeah. So what are you going to do? Just sit in your discomfort? I think I have to.

There's really no other solution, is there? Well, there is one I can think of. The stress of daily life weighs on us all. And sometimes it soars up our thighs. It gives us thigh sores. And the only way to beat that is with a Theragun. Oh, that's a site for sore thighs. It sure is, friend. Blast your thighs away. And that's why I use Theragun,

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199 are you kidding me that's like a quarter of owen's pairs of shoes that he likes to wear maybe even less than a quarter less yeah that's you could if you got eight thera guns together and uh took that money you could buy one pair of shoes. How incredible is that, Owen? Really incredible stuff, huh? He's giving a thumbs up because he's excited. And there's an easy-ass way that you can get into this. You can go to theragun.com slash yak right now and get your Gen 4 Theragun today. That's theragun.com slash y-a-k-t-h-e-r-a-g-u-n dot com slash yak theragun dot com slash yak get one you know just just have a theragun around it's going to make everything way better for you and and everyone around you they're gone your loved ones ron uh can you shut up i'm buying a theragun right now and i need to focus yeah kb uh you've yet to buy a theragun in now, and I need to focus. Yeah, KB, you've yet to buy Theragun in the 30 seconds since I

finished the ad read. See me, www. Theragun.com slash yak. Theragun.com slash yak. They're actually doing it. Oh, and what's your excuse? You've waived

your discretionary spending on shoes. shoes i actually purchased a theragun last night that's fucking unbelievable what are the chances of that another thing that you did recently was uh there was a thanksgiving text oh and wasn't there a thanksgiving text that that really uh really brought wonder into the world. Yeah. You guys gave me a bit of a hard time, but I was on a long drive by myself on Thanksgiving night. Got my feels a little bit. Texting and driving. I pulled over to send the text.

Okay. Yeah. It's just been a whirlwind of a couple months, and I just wanted to show my appreciation for you guys and everything you've done. Why didn't you send me a text what's up why don't you send me a text i did send you a text we sent everybody a text yeah but i didn't get like my own text uh well nobody got a personal one yes doesn't seem that appreciative i feel like uh kind of reaching out to everyone individually would have been a little bit nicer of a gesture. But who am I to say?

I wasn't here for this Monday show, so I can't wait to hear this clip that we're about to play this second. Thursday, Thanksgiving, 624 p.m. We got a text in the group chain. Thankful for you guys. Yeah. From Owen. Owen. Lame. Yeah. From Owen. Owen. Lame!

Uh, yeah. Fucking lame! Yeah. Owen texted the whole group. Duh! We made your life. We literally have made your life. Owen texted us a heartfelt thankful for you guys to the Yak

group chain on Thanksgiving night. And we just roasted. What did he expect from irony boys? Boys like us? I think I actually said, I hope you die. You did say that. You trapped me on the island. Two of you did, yeah.

And then was like, yeah, I also hope you die. That's fucked up, Brandon. I don't regret it. It was something I'd been feeling and I... Here it goes again. Fucking lame, dude. Don't bring that weak shit sensitive feelings

up here. I almost left the group because that was feminine energy. It was. It was a femme guy. Micro dick energy? No. Feminine energy. Did you tuck your dick between your legs when you sent that text? Vulva energy. I think he hit the send button with his tucked penis from his back.

I'm just thankful for my guys. It's the only way to send text like that. Dan, your quote was, fucking die, dude. Yeah. Stand by it. Stand by it. And you sent that whilst operating a motor vehicle. Yeah, that's why I said fucking die.

That was the only masculine thing about that. Yeah. Well, what was the car? It was a Subaru Legacy. Was it a Jetta? It was a Jetta. It was a Tiguan. It was a Subaru hatchback with Vermont plates.

Some sort of GMC. Oh. All right. Little fucking tough asshole. Driver compensate much? We came to the conclusion that wiping your ass is, having a clean ass is the least masculine thing you can have because it's pretty much an open sign for fuckage. So having a dirtier ass prevents you from you getting your ass fucked it's like the spikes outside of a rental car place yeah it keeps the homeless

from sleeping on your asshole and you can't yeah someone can't just drive in fucking unexpected there's fucking spikes right there or you can't drive out unexpected you can't pull your cock out of an ass if there's a bunch of poop around it yeah like i don't want to see yeah it's uh it's preventative measures. It makes mathematical sense because when you're getting ready to get fucked in the ass, you or eaten. Eaten. You clean it as what you clean as thoroughly as possible. You wipe and you soap.

Some folks even enema. You enema. And then. OK. What about a colonic? Some folks even colonic to get it clean from the inside clean it from the inside out clean enough to eat off of and that's their goal uh guy like me no the more you clean the more you're going to get fucked in the ass well the less you clean the less you will what if it accidentally washes off in the shower or

something like that or like uh you you dunk your butt into the toilet and it kind of bidets off yeah that that's when you always have to have like a back backup shit that you've kept in case of emergency you break the little glass or like put more shit in your ass diabetics will carry around a snickers bar you just have like a ziploc bag of your own turst yes smear on your ass if you're in a pinch yes a loaf to pinch when you're in one yeah and you guys talked about that on the radio we did well this is that yeah it is that is the most demeaning thing that can happen to you is getting pissed on while you're in the

supine position yes because it's not shitting because the other person still has to wipe and that's gross for them yeah right pissinging. Wait, you think wiping's gross? Well, they have to do work. They have to do manual labor. I never wipe. That's fucking lame, dude. What's up with lame shit? Owen wipes.

Having a clean ass is feminine. Right, because you're basically saying do anal to me. Yeah, it's so clean. I put more shit in my ass. You're inviting anal when you wipe your ass. You're asking for it. You can fuck me, but it's going to be gross.

Universal signal for fuck me in the ass. He's wiping your ass. The second you wipe, you're basically saying world anal me. No, you can fuck me, but you're not going to like it. Dad, I didn't wipe. Jesus Christ. All right, hot start.

I got us something. You got us something. Oh, how about our mission? So congrats to, I want to hear what you got, but first, congrats to Brandon Walker on the release of his new podcast, Wrestling. Thank you very much. We have something very big planned for episode two.

That's right. Everyone will like it. You'll have to listen to episode two for the world premiere, which will also have an accompanying video. I'll clip it and tweet it. Yes, we'll clip it and tweet it, but I gave you a job, Owen. I forgot over Thanksgiving break.

I wanted you to get in touch with Mrs. Jenny Jizz. Oh, yeah and i want to have a giveaway for people who everyone's doing like you know the bench mob boys are doing the hey if you subscribe we'll give away something we i would like for 10 subscribers of rassling the podcast to get a free blow job from mrs jizz to completion yes And while she's wearing a Brandon Walker mask. Uh-huh. So you can't tell if it's Brandon or Jenny Jizz. In fact, she's also

6'5". I didn't realize that. She is tall. Yes. Very tall. She was on the volleyball team. The. Yeah. When I say the, I'm talking about the United States. The women's team. She served. so did you get in touch with her you forgot

no I dm'd her and still no response and then I said I told you guys I tried to find a email can you read the dm yeah sure maybe you maybe open your mouth let me take a picture open your mouth

we'll play a little hardball be like hey, hey, if you don't want to, we got someone else who's going to take your job. I really don't want to suck that many dicks. That's too many dicks. Someone doesn't want their podcast to pop. Who do you think has better dicks? The average veteran or the average rasslin?

Rasslin, for sure. Those are going to be bad dicks average rasslin rasslin for sure those are gonna be bad dicks rasslin i would bet they're untouched out of the 10 dicks you suck seven of them will have some sort of unchecked cancerous growth yeah yeah so it's better they don't like the doctor would you want rasslin fans hate doc if we can get jenny jizz to do it would you do the giveaway i don't think so but i like the i like the idea anus will do it yeah this will we'll take it yeah that's because you guys are cutthroat you're like gordon gecko there's always a moment in the day when i arrive home and my wife says what'd you do today and i tell her and sometimes i'm i'm proud of what i've accomplished sometimes i'm not

i pushed a guy and yeah i just don't know if getting home on the day i gave away 10 dick suckers you didn't jenny just did i know but it's in my name and my face is you watched yeah you're the executive producer uh-huh where'd you use a bidet because like i don't think i've ever come across one even i own one you do there's like they're very very easy to install you just get a splitter for your water line it's a a new toilet seat heats dries we sold them splitter we used to you it's just a little fork that you you turn your water off and then you fork the metal tube no it's very intuitive you're not going to do it you don't know how to do any of that stuff. It's very easy.

No, no. Listen to the subtext. He's saying that he wants his butthole to stay dirty. Yeah. You're the most hetero out of the bunch. You have a full turd in your ass. Just koozied between your cheeks. Looks like a reverse.

It just looks like a hot dog people put a fake deer on their lawn to like scare away other deer he just has a dick-shaped turd in his butt yeah yeah just sitting there that is yeah like that's the thing like they call you a fucking east coast you're a fairy boy if you don't if you have a skin a skin-colored asshole surrounding. Yeah. They keep it turd on there, like a gun holster. Yeah, they keep a turd holstered. Like an owl that's like a scarecrow, pretty much.

Yeah. Scare turd. I keep that thing on me. Yeah, you did. In. Well, on. On. Yeah.

But for real, you guys have hair on your buttholes or no you answer you answer first dude yeah yeah you guys don't no i do i do okay yeah i do standard anatomy i thought you were gonna say you didn't. No. How do you know you do? Because I wipe my butt and there's hair all the time there. What do you wipe it with? Your bare hands? Your asshole was balding. Yeah. Yeah. You're taking

finasteride and minoxidil. This is so embarrassing. You're wearing a little Rogaine on your toilet paper. But he has like a misconception of it. He thinks it's more bald than he is. So it's just like over Rogaine. It's not balding.

It's just maturing. It's maturing. He's got Rapunzel. He has a body dysmorphia. He's thinning guys. No, dude. Gaz's asshole just has a hat on oh yeah gaz keeps a hat on his asshole what are you hiding there gaz nothing it just looks better with the hat that's a clean

well guys we're going to a wedding you're gonna have to take the hat out of your asshole this is actually like a really nice restaurant they're not gonna let you in with a hat on your anus. That's racist. This is One Oak. The bartender will not let you. This is Rebar. They will not let you wear that.

I've been in a noble with a hat on my asshole before. They let me in before. Speaking of assholes,on was watching every single every single wrestling match yeah uh i don't remember this clip what is this i think owen kind of busted him up because he was saying how he watches every single wrestling clip and then owen was like well what happens if the mac is on or what about college football on saturday night i think i think brandon got a little flustered yeah it's just he seems to have a lot on his plate and he takes pride in it but i'd hate to see uh one take away from the other because he's got a college football podcast as well

but i'm excited to listen to wrestling i listened to it i listened to it last night and it was uh i think it was like maybe 80 minutes long but it turned into about three hours because i got down this monster youtube rabbit hole i was watching uh i watched a documentary on papa shango and then i uh found out that he was late in his wrestlemania 8 breakup um he was breaking up uh sid vicious and hulk hogan and then he was talking about how the ultimate war he was late in his WrestleMania 8 breakup. He was breaking up Sid Vicious and Hulk Hogan. And then he was talking about how the ultimate warrior, he was late because the entranceway was so long. They didn't account for it properly. And so he was talking about how the ultimate warrior was almost late, but he was booking it.

And that's the famous gift that everyone always responds with when they're responding to something. And yeah, so I got down that huge rabbit hole. And three hours later, I was watching interviews with Sid Vicious, talking about how he broke his leg doing a big boot up the second round. Well, from one Randy Savage to another, here is that clip from Brandon Walker. Are you going to have to watch every single wrestling match now? I already do. Next?

NXT? NXT. NXT. I already watched it. NXT. I watch it every Wednesday night and Saturday night what about the MAC

which you watch good question like MAC football what about it what's that got to do with wrestling matches it's on Wednesday night not anymore it was for a little bit

what about them nights what are you going to do on them nights what did you do those nights which will suffer I will watch the wrestling and I've got multiple TVs Saturday night though isn't NXT it's NXT and no it's Wednesday nights

there's no Saturday night wrestling sometimes AEW has a pay per view on Saturday night do you watch it college football I think the next one won't be until February wrestling? Sometimes AEW has a pay-per-view on Saturday night. Do you watch it? Yes, every time. College football. I think the next one won't be until February. College basketball. Yeah.

I don't know. Sounds like you got a lot on your plate. Might have to cancel another show. B90X. Did you put those in the store? Yeah. Good. Everyone go buy it. B90X shirts. What is it? Push yourself and those around you. push yourself and those around you

push yourself and others around you what's next on the chopping block though if you have to get rid of another show I'd rather not you already trimmed let's walk this plank let's not walk any anything

let's not walk I just don't want to fight that battle today. That's all. It's not a battle I want to fight. Episode 1 is out. We're having a great day. Episode 2 is going to be electric. Are you going to have all of us on? Well, I'll have

whoever wants to be on. We'll do the world premiere and then we'll break down. I do enjoy wrestling. I've been to a wrestling event. What are you talking about? Well, we do the world premiere and then we'll break down. You enjoy wrestling. I do enjoy wrestling. But I don't think, like, I don't know. I've been to a wrestling event. What are you talking about? Okay.

I want to watch old school Raw's with you. I'm close personal friends with CM Punk. I'm setting up a YouTube, so I'm going to be doing watch-alongs and all that stuff like that. I want to do one a month where I can, just have me on for 10 minutes. Okay. I was allowed to watch SmackDown, but not Raw. What? Yeah. Why?

Wasn't Raw the one with all, the half naked chick well back in the day but not any time in your life maybe just because it was a weeknight i don't know yeah no no half naked titties on the on the weeknight friday night titties far too horny fnts oh yeah friday night titties stabled. Owen would get far too horny. FNTs? Oh, yeah. Friday night titties, stabled on there, fucking no bounce. People are sexualizing taking off masks. Explain that. I predicted about a month and a half ago that over time with this quarantine with masks being a law, that guys are going to start getting ultra horny for just the mouth of a woman um they're going to sexualize the mouth the um nostrils i'll never remember the

philtrum yeah all of that the chin oh jawline the mandible the more verboten we make something the more taboo or the more uh covered or veiled it is the more we want to fucking see it the more we want to fuck it the more we want to think about fucking it and likewise breasts are becoming uh you know breasts are just willy-nilly breasts are yeah the opposite with breasts so mouths are i think in 300 years we could see a bikini that covers the vagina and the mouth and the boobs are just out that That's going to be the new bikini. The top of the bikini is going to rise.

Or you could wear a one-piece that covers from your mouth all the way down. If you're feeling a little bit self-conscious. It's how it should be. The mouth is erotic. The teeth are sensual. Or a cleft scar. A cleft stomach.

A cleft stomach scar all those things will be covered up by the one piece bathing suit from 200 years from now which will be on sale in the barstool store please buy it one bite everybody in those knows the rules one piece is up to the to the top of the bridge of the nose uh tight around snug snug around the bridge of the nose and people will start uh fetishizing the bridge just the way they fetishize the butt crack and guys i can't overstate enough how fucking comfortable these are i've tried them on i've bought them for my friends oh yeah everyone has them you're gonna love them yeah they're so comfortable they look good and the price you

really cannot beat it actually i can promo code yak 20 off 20 off 20 35 get yours then then listen to the clip oh this is a good one for kb sam in wisconsin go ahead i worked at a convenience store and i had a customer come in yesterday and tell one of my female co-workers that her mask was sexy, that she looked sexy in her mask. It's happening. It's happening now. No, no, no. I know it's happening.

You see it. It's happening to me. You've gotten it? What? He's talking about me being very horny about the female face, the mouth, the... The upper lip, the nose. I keep forgetting that part of the... The trachea.

The philtrum. The trachea. Yeah. You date girls exclusively with no philtrum. No. You date... No, I date... No, no, no, no, no.

What's the ball in the back of your throat? Because I dated a girl with a... The uvula. a deepest philtrum. No. Yeah, that was that was a yeah. OK, fine. How about you? That was a what?

What? That was a what? It doesn't matter. Just move on. I'm into philtrums. Or lack thereof. No. No such thing. No such thing. Yes, there is. Fetal alcohol syndrome. You don't have a philtrums. Or lack thereof. No. No such thing.

No such thing. Yes, there is. Fetal alcohol syndrome. You don't have a filtrum. What about a cleft lip? That's a different, it's still a divot. Yeah, they still got the divot. An off-center filtrum.

You think cleft lips are sexy? Cleft lip scars? Joaquin Phoenix made it sexy. And that mother. It's true. Is Jason on The Bachelorette, did he have. Cleft lip scars. Joaquin Phoenix made it sexy. It's true. Is Jason on The Bachelorette? Did he have a cleft lip? Owen? I can't see you being on The Bachelorette if you have a cleft lip.

Why not? What's up? Jesus Christ. We got him, boys. I think it was something different. Cancel. I didn't know you could cancel for, okay. For what?

Calling somebody ugly? For their cleft lip? Bless you. I would love it if cleft Twitter came at you. Yeah, that would be funny. It's not their fault. En masse. Cross-country mortgage, America's crazy good mortgage company, combines a people-first

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Tudor style, yes. I like Stucco Oh wow What about a split level you ever have a split level Uh yeah Uh yeah Rowan I have a split level Oh god My home is a split level home

Uh oh It's less stairs Fewer stairs Then like a colonial? Catch me in my fucking ranch. Yeah, no stairs in that. That's true. Oh, shit.

KB used to grow up in a home, too. Yeah, yeah, he did. Common misconception. Yeah, people would think that. Yeah, fucking did. Common misconception. Yeah, people would think that you were an outdoors man, but you grew up in a home. Yeah.

No, your parents still are and were poor, so it wasn't a nice home. It was more a house than a home. Yeah, it was, yeah. We make this home a house. Yeah, it was on the doorm that you a very shitty doormat uh that was probably gifted to you maybe stolen the well the welcome i just said this is it

so like yeah because people needed to know where it was and this that was it um but but uh as you know as cheap as that house may have been what was inside of it was still precious to your parents. And that was you that was inside of it. So your parents still decided to entrust someone to look after you to make sure that nothing happened to you. You had bunk beds. Your parents were on the bottom bunk. You were on the top. You only had one bedroom.

So how did it work when this babysitter that you had came in like did your parents would kind of leave and she just would man the bottom bunk and kind of keep you the same way that any babysitter works was she in your class though no no no that's a misconception that she was a she was of legal age to babysit and i wasn't yet you were close she was six months older than me four and she was going she skipped it she skipped kindergarten she was young for her grade but yeah she was a grade ahead and she was post-pubescent and you were pre-pubescent very very to both and she would bring her boyfriend over um who who was younger than me no he was 24 but he looked younger than you.

No, yeah. But yeah, she was 13, I was 12, and you know. Standard shit. Standard babysitter shit. And you know what? Let's listen to that again, but on... Yeah, that's what I just said. Yeah, let's listen to that one.

Let's run it back. I think I had a world record for the smallest disparity between babysitter and babysit t explain like my babysitter was like she was a grade above me but like she was born like late in the year like in the summer and i was in january so five months she was mature for her age. Your parents paid her to watch you. She was a foot taller than me. She was tall. That's definitely what it was.

She was in my grade? Yeah. Who was it? No, she was from Martins Ferry, Ohio. I was in sixth. She commuted? I was in sixth. She was in seventh.

I was four foot five. I still remember the dimensions. I wrestled. What did I wrestle in sixth grade? 70 pounds. She was full. She was well into puberty. Was she up to now? She was probably 5'9".

Did she peak at 5'9"? Did she keep on getting taller? That was it for her. It was a wrap for her. Yeah, she actually shrunk. Why did you still need supervision at 12 from a 13-year-old? What was going on? That's the law. No, at 12 from a 12-year-old? What was going on? That's the law.

Like 13-year-olds. No, at 12 from a 12-year-old. She was five months older. No, she was 13. Okay. I was 12. 13-year-olds are allowed to babysit legally. But 12-year-olds aren't.

And 12-year-olds need babysitting. Yeah. 12-year-olds have to be super. You were under a supervision program. So how different was that clip from what we just said? It's probably indistinguishable to the people because this clip from what we just said it's probably indistinguishable to the people because this is just an audio medium and uh it all probably blends together yeah yeah yeah a lot different yeah exactly i mean we could tell another story that

you told or we could just kind of jump into the fact that you had uh another yeah another story told let's yeah let's preface it by just telling just repeating it okay yeah so you were a wicker wicker nick yeah wicker was huge in our um in our river town for a while my indoor furniture was the easiest resource serious i used to nap on a wicker couch really that's a different type of tinder that you were growing up that is right yeah you were just fucking throwing it all together it looked like yeah I was napping on a wicker couch. I looked like a Viking on a funeral pyre. Yeah.

Very trusting of you because it's easy to set on fire. Very. If you just think about fire, a wicker couch will go up in flames. Yes. That's known. What do you call the part you light of a candle? Yeah. Oh, it's like a wicker something.

And KB grew up with a lot of my dad had restless leg syndrome and it would start a fire in our town wicker was just the most available resource. You could gather it like a hunter-gatherer. It was available for free. But at the same time, it was huge in the decor world. Christopher Lowell was pitching it on HGTV. Wicker was in. And so, you know, I thought nothing of it. And, yeah, when you just grow up around something, you don't know that it's like a delicacy or a specialty or you don't know that it's rare. You think that everywhere in the country that like Justin Bieber is fucking on Wicker and riding a Wicker Sibian.

Ah, there it is. Sitting on the Wicker Sibian. Sitting on a Wicker Sibian. Taking a first bend. Yeah, just riding the Wicker Sibian. We would ride the Wicker rocking horse but sit on the wicker sibian yes yes yes yes of course because uh wicker folk need to come too yeah but it was did you say that it was it was uh like it was it was pedal run though you had

to like kind of pump the pedal of it like a sewing machine? Or was it electronic? Because I thought that you said something about it being electronic. It was very manual. So you had to kind of churn it along. You had to break a sweat if you wanted to come. As it should be. As it should be. Burn it. What are you guys' thoughts on wicker furniture?

Steve feels like it's okay at a beach house or a setting where you don't live or visit super often but he thinks it'd be tough as a constant in your home i had a wicker mattress as a boy growing up and it's you did it sucks so bad was it encased in anything was it i had a sheet on it so like uh how a beaver lives Much like Almost exactly You had a dam What was the sheet made out of? Just It was regular sheet material

You can do a lot of A lot of stuff with a regular sheet Like what? I can only think of Fitting a bed with it Be a ghost Ghost Ghost

Ghost My granddad had so many sheets in this house what a standard issue he always wore a party hat under them dunce cap under your sheet what a fool he was I had a wicker

like decor phase Christopher Lowell inspired it how many places have you owned that you've had phases of decor this was when I was a child so it wasn't your phase I peer pressured my mom

you spent the majority of your allowance on decor what else was I going to do? You loved ambiance. I did. Still do. I think of wicker like a wicker lawn set, something that has a cushion on it. More on the porch, like a wicker

chair. Yeah. Maybe a wicker table with some glass at the top of it. Those are nice. Yeah. What was your guys' favorite cooking show? Dream Catcherer a wicker sibian was it uh just one wick was the that you rode or was it like a knot it was a knot in the wicker a knot that you uh kind of bunched up like nerve. And it was like, whenever I'd had parties in high school, it's like,

we're all just chilling. I'm like, there's, you can sit on the floor of the Wickershibian floor, the Ottoman or that Wickershibian over there, the sticky ass floor or the Wickershibian sticky. You could sleep on the floor. I'll give you a blanket.

No. No, no, no, no. I was the homie that would blanket my homies. And you'd sleep cold? When we would sleep over, whether it was my house or somebody else's, middle of the night, someone's unblanketed. They're raw. Sleep. I would cover them up. I remember I was sitting on a wicker Sibian and I was on it for hours and hours.

My grundle was just covered in splinter. And I was just like, why am I not busting a nut of this? I have before. I realized I accidentally used a Roman swipe. Oh, geez. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer. Thinking about Stephen Chay's hairy asshole doesn't always work. Yeah. The folks at Roman, an online men's health company, are changing the game with Roman swipes.

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mine to be screed though though. I want everyone to know. No, no, no. That's a misconception. What is? It's not a turn-off. It's not a turn-off because girls like them just as much as guys like to use them. And it shows that you care about it.

It shows that you want to better your sexual performance. They'd be mad at you if you didn't use it because it's so easy to use. You just take the swipes out of the packet, swipe it on your little, tiny, hard penis, let it dry, and you're good to go. That's it. You're fucking away right after that. Yeah.

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And guess, lo and behold, I walk through the doors. Guess who's there? Who? Dr. fucking Drew. What? Drew. The Dr. Drew? I love him.

I am fucking. He's universally, unanimously beloved. And that's one thing about Dr. Drew. Nobody even just likes him. No, no, no, no. Everybody loves Dr. Drew. No one is indifferent about Dr. Drew. Nobody even just likes him. No, no, no, no. Everybody loves Dr. Drew. No one is indifferent about Dr. Drew, and it's all love. He was the first guy at the Macy's Day Parade to have a float and a balloon for him.

Yes. He's so celebrated. I heard that in some countries that they have a holiday for Dr. Drew. Yes. Like a festival. It's the third Wednesday of November. Right. They kind of traipse around a maypole and fucking sing the praises.

And as big as he is here in America, the Scandinavians, he may as well be the one true God. He's the flip side of sex doctors. He is the flip side of sex doctors. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're exactly right. And as much as we love him, though, you think that Steve was Scandinavian because he loves him even more.

Isn't that right yeah i mean i i i think this was an oversight by me i thought he was much more popular than i guess he is he is really just said how popular he is what do you right but uh in the show i guess people were surprised that i had this take i thought everybody really liked dr drew but um yeah i guess that's me not reading the room very well yeah the room being the like the world and how the world works in fairness nobody had my comment was i feel like nobody dislikes him and you got nobody had uh negative feelings towards him before i said anything indifference is worse than disliking though steve the world is your room and you're illiterate. Here's the clip.

Wait a minute. Where do we start? Where do we begin? Hold on, hold on. Let's just find a beginning. Celebrity rehab. What was your first introduction to Dr. Drew? Nobody's ever had this strong of a feeling about him. Dr. Drew's white is awesome.

What's his last name? Steven? Drew. I've never heard that. He's strong of a feeling about him. Dr. Drew's white, especially positive. Yeah. Dr. Drew. What's his last name? Steven? Drew. Drew. It's Drew Drew. Yeah.

And doctor is short for Drew. Drew. Drew. Drew. Drew. What do you like about him? Yeah. What?

Tell us everything. Yeah. What? So one of, I mean, you guys are some housewives fans in the house he doesn't do that show but i watch a similar great start you know this one show that has nothing to do with dr drew well well i watch a similar show with my wife uh and he does that show teen mom too on mtv teen mom too great show yeah watched for like 10 years wait oh my god teen mom was a series yeah why would they go to two is it her second child it's like a teen grandma second cast the baby's now old enough to have a baby oh 24 year old grandmothers

it's a bunch of uh teen moms and then the the first season is a separate cast and then there's a second season which is better And it's been on for I don't know 10 11 years And he always does the reunions and it's awesome I look forward to his episodes Every season This is yeah Fast forward to the reunion

Even kill guy level headed Solid advice these people that are In chaos What differentiates him from any other doctor I guess I thought he was way more famous than he is you guys don't know who he is we of course we know who he is no one has ever had a strong opinion about Dr.

Drew right so you don't dislike him no actually now I the way you like him I hate his guts I want him to die your love of him has made a mortal enemy in Dr. Drew with me. What a weird... I didn't expect that.

Steve, you know I'm always in your corner, but that caught me off guard. You like him better than other doctors? Dr. Sanjay Gupta? Dr. Phil? Do you like him? Is he your best? Dr. Dre? I don't think I'm aware of... I know who Dr. Phil is, but I don't think...

I know who Dr. Phil is. I've never watched Dr. Phil at all. I probably aware of him. I mean, I know who Dr. Dre is, but I don't think... I know who Dr. Phil is. I've never watched Dr. Phil at all. I probably would like him. You'd love Gupta. I don't know who that is. Gupta would be your... You'd be a number one Gupta. Goop head is what they call him.

Yeah, it is. I don't... The Goops. What does that doctor... Sanjay Gupta. Goop heads. Practice on... How do you guys know them?

Celebrity medicine. Oh. He's like a celebrity doctor. Oh, I mean, I probably would like if they... Like or love? Like. I mean, Dr. Drew. What about Dr. Ruth?

The old sex talk lady? Yeah, she literally was the founder of Dr. Drew's whole legacy, right? Didn't they work together? I mean, I don't know. It's history. I think she, I used to steer on like Sally, Jesse, Raphael, or like those weird.

I Twitter searched Dr. Drew and from the people I follow just to see not many. Dave called him unsufferable. The you, but Steven Chey in 2011, you're not lying. You're consistent. You tweet it. Dr. Drew is in beast mode right now. You're consistent. You tweet it. Dr. Drew is in beast mode right now. He spelled right.

R I T E. Um, so yeah, you've been a fan, but I wonder what it sounds about, right? What was Drew's beast mode in 11? What does Dr.

Drew look like when he's in April 5th, 2011? I mean, you got to see his team on two reunions. He's just dishing it out. Every single other tweet is negative or like mocking him okay well I think I think someone

called him hot he's like ageless too I feel like he's looked the same for forever he used to be on other stuff I don't remember exactly what did Oprah discover him I never have dug into Drew's shit. I don't know anything about him besides that he's on Teen Mom 2.

Are you thinking of Uncle Drew? Oh, he's 62. Dr. Drew is also Kyrie Irving in disguise. He's an uncle. He's a doctor. It's like a Tyler Perry movie. Love Line was his big break. What a bizarre...

You are such an interesting man. I guess I thought that was a more common opinion. What's his personality? What's his vibe? Just like very resourceful, smart, calculated. A little bit smug?

No, I don't think so. I think he's a very personable and um do you see yourself in it uh no i mean i i don't do that type of work but i'm looking at him now he does look good for his age yeah he does gives up like jeff goldblum he looks like an older eminem does he have gray hair he does he does what about what about what about him downplaying covid did he yeah

ah shit I didn't know that damn never meet your heroes really I didn't technically downplay it he just no he just

denounced it yeah what do you mean he like rebuked it yeah he disavowed it I feel like as a doctor he didn't do that I think you guys

just pull him a chain no I'm reading his Wikipedia right now. Oh, shit. Is it on controversies? Dr. Drew. Are you attracted to him? No. Are you drawn to Drew?

No, wait, hold on. Why'd you answer like that? I'm not attracted to men. I'm as cishet as they fucking come right and i can i can identify a handsome man do you think he's handsome i mean he's a good looking guy for his age but i'm not like okay all right let's paint a picture all right steven chay you're driving it's a hot summer day it's uh 2002 thank you amigo So you're like 19 years old? 16.

So let's say 2004. Yes, sir. Car breaks down. It's hot, really hot. Dr. Drew pulls up behind you in a beautiful BMW. Certified pre-owned. He got a great-ass deal on it. Yeah, exactly.

Not sweating, but like a nice glow to him. You're sweating a lot. And he says, hey, big sweating, but like a nice glow to him. You're sweating a lot. And he says, hey, big boy, looks like you need some help. You sucking him? How is that the immediate currency? No, I would probably...

What if Dr. Drew says, hey, big boy, you need some help sucking me? I would pass and that ends another happy episode of the best of the yak make sure that you're rating this episode rating this podcast

subscribing to this podcast downloading a multitude of episodes undownloading the other shows that you have except for Anus, Wrestling, PMT, The Core, and Going Deep. The Core. Other than all those things. Other than all those. And for those listeners, why don't you start a chain letter? And you're going to send that off to 10 people or else you'll die.

Bad luck. Yeah. Bad luck will befall you. And death will not be the escape of the bad luck. to ten people or else you'll die. Bad luck, yeah. Bad luck will befall you and death will not be the escape of the bad luck. It will follow around the people that you love the most. It will haunt them. Yeah, it will.

Not a doubt in my mind. There's not any doubt in my mind. And also, why don't you start up a Flat Stanley letter and pass it around to find another Yak listeners address and add to the Flat stanley let's get that let's get the flat stanley going from uh from place to place yeah that's a thing i definitely know what that is i love that uh i was gonna say yeah like that is what yeah that would be the

perfect thing they could do it's that's definitely one of my favorite stanley's yeah flat so you're still listening oh so you stayed for after the exit song. So we're done. We're going to... Someone doesn't know how to turn off their radio show. You should know when to leave. That was the outro. So what were your plans for the night?

What were you doing? Are you meeting up with... I'm probably going to hit the hay early. No, I'm just so tired. No, hit the hay early um no i'm just i'm so tired yeah no but no feel free to stay as long as you want um oh no i'm so sorry no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no please i was just about to um no i wasn't gonna go to i mean i was let's make some popcorn but no i got i just yeah i just got my second wind. I'm ready to...

Yeah, let's do this thing. I'm just going to go in the other room for a second. Stay here, though. Yeah, yeah, please.