The Yak - Big Cat Addresses His Viral Taylor Swift Tweet | The Yak 10-3-23

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Cash onlyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, everyone. It's the Yak. Promo code Yak. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Q-Zips. Polos.

Joggers. Say it. Hoodies. What about? What about them? Jogger shorts. Q-Zips. Q-Zips.

Get the Q-Zips. Use promo code Yak. Roback.ips. Get the Q-Zips. Use promo code YAK. Roback.com. 20% off your first purchase. Hey, everyone. What up? Hey, Big Cat. Talking to a dead man.

I'm going to sit over here. I'm glad I'm standing in front of you. TJ, can you fix the camera so Mook and I aren't in Big Cat's shot, please? TJ, can you make me glowing because I'm so toxic? Thank you. Just like a yellow, like a green ninja turtle. What a lot of our coworkers aren't getting is that you weren't joking at all. I won't watch another NFL game until I see this.

Until you see a cream pie. Yeah. I love that. Whoa. I'm radioactive. Fasoli loves Barstool so much he tweeted he'd fight every woman. Yes. That was absurd.

Shout out Fasoli. Shout out Greer. Those guys were foxhole guys. Fasoli loves Barstool. Greer hates women. Fasoli really. He was Greer hates women Fasoli really he was like I'll fight anyone in Rough and Rowdy who's coming after Big Cat it's probably like

Fasoli texted me last night he was nervous he was like should I have not said that I didn't think it would imply that I was fighting women and I was like Fasoli don't worry man you're fine no listen Fasoli the Swifties don't take anything literal so you're fine I want him to could we have him fight three girls

three girls at once yeah oh all right so for the people who aren't on twitter yeah i've been canceled you're uh you posted a podcast clip i did i did and it was uh a pretty i actually was shocked that it it went as viral as it did uh i actually think i know where it started it was some it took a while right what set it off i saw initially it was some vikings fans dorks who were like like those like you know like weird blogger fans who were like like they probably just hate that i don't like kirk cousins which i actually kind of like kirk cousins now uh so like that's funny in itself that this whole thing started on like a football beef probably um maybe that's how you should apologize you should just be like for the record i do like kirk cousins yeah right sorry if everyone anything that would be sorry if everyone misunderstood me i do like kirk cousins

i now i don't i can't sit here and be dumb and be like, I can't believe this. I got this response because I have been, you know, poking the bear, kicking the hornet's nest because I like chaos. I like to see chaos online. But, yeah, I didn't think it was going to be this one. I did not think it was going to be this clip. This one shocked me. And it got quote tweeted, I think, how many times is it quote-treated? Ah!

Oh, my God. It's like 7,000 quote-treats or something. It's so good. Meanwhile, PFT was the one who demanded anal, and he's just been skating by. I was going to say, if this happened on the yak, I would have kept that going. Graphic deep. I'd like to read all of them. Publicly demanding sexual favors from Warner Brothers. The one above wanted you to die.

They wanted you to die. I've been getting threats on my life, on my family's life. Oh, yeah. No, that has been happening. It is what Taylor would have wanted. Yeah. So it's a combo of not just Swifties. It's crossed over yet.

Sex. Oh, people are going viral for quote tweeting you. Yeah, people who are just pissed that I would say this. Yeah, they're all, none of them. And you were demanding. Demanding. I was demanding. That would be funny.

First of all, ew. Wait a minute. Did that girl just ew Taylor Swift? I like pervy podcast blob, though. That a minute. Did that girl just ew Taylor Swift? I like pervy podcast blob, though. That's great. That's funny. Yeah, I wish I'll be honest. If I could take anything back, I wish that my diet was going better.

Yeah. It would have been nice to have this clip be, you know, of a better angle. So, yeah, it's been fun. I don't. Oh, my God. Funny to see who can say the dumbest shit oh oh yeah i mean it is it's it's pretty much everything that every like controversy we've ever gotten into is just when we cross over to a large group of people that take everything we say

as literal fact with no sense of sarcasm facetetious, whatever. And then we get this, which is very fun. Are they like an actual cult? Like, I don't know much about the Swifties. I mean, people are calling for me to die. Like I said, they're calling for the end of my career. So I think that's... These aren't the girls who go to the concerts. These are the online ones.

These are online. They're anemic. They have a service dog. They only eat mac and cheese. They have extreme dietary restrictions. They only eat mac and cheese. They have extreme dietary restrictions. They're basically bed bound. But they're great at Twitter, and they know the online landscape well. So there's no, like, fear of them mobilizing?

No, but they're very – they could probably hurt your feelings well. Yeah, no, they've been trying to hurt my feelings. A couple of them have landed uh but yeah i think in a weird twist like stephen shea was fearing for his life with philadelphia i think i'm in way more danger way more danger yeah way way more danger yeah so yeah and then my favorite one is the um the people were like everyone told me he was one of the good ones at barcelona you said that i You said that. I saw one was like, how did they not let these two guys off

when they did all the firing? How did they not get included? Are you going to be removed from the I hate Barstool, but I like PNT? Yeah, I think I've been removed from that. You're no longer on the list, Dan. Congratulations on your promotion, Clem. It took a long time, yeah. But I think I'm officially – yeah that, Dan. You're no longer on the list, Dan. Congratulations on your promotion, Clem. It took a long time, yeah. But I think I'm officially, yeah, the good ones always makes me laugh.

Yeah. You guys came up with that. Like, you, I never said I was a good one. In fact, I'm a bad one. Dan. A bad seed. Oh, man. What's the path forward?

I think just keep doing my job. I don't know. Are you going to double down? I was having a discussion with Hank about if Penn still owned us, would I have to release an apology? And it just made me laugh. What would I even say in an apology? I'm sorry for joking? What would that look like?

Do you want to work through one right now? I apologize for joking? I don't even think that's an apology. No, you've got to specifically apologize for what you said said i apologize for wanting to see a penis in a vagina yeah i apologize for sexualizing i apologize i apologize for sexualizing a woman in her 30s and that is the funniest part about this is i very clearly said i wanted to see travis kelsey's penis yeah where's the where hop? It's true. Where's the Kelsey hop?

I sexualized the fuck out of him. I think we all want to see his penis. It'd be so much funnier if Kelsey fans were pissed at you right now. Shout out, there's one guy who's been defending me in my mentions. He just keeps on saying to all these people, if you watch the whole clip, Big Cat said that he'd be fine with the over the pants handjob it's like if that's not class i don't know what is it's like he's not a terrorist he's he's he's very clearly willing to work with them um but yeah i heard hank talking

to you this morning he said you could always come out as gay yeah good call i do think i should maybe if it gets worse maybe i should just be like listen i've heard everyone and i'm gonna get a vasectomy so i can't procreate like that will be that like basically a neutering was it worse last night or today is it getting worse as we go it's i don't really know it's kind of just like a a brush fire just in my mentions. But, like, football was going on. I mean, 27 million views isn't a brush fire. No, no, no.

That's apocalyptic. Yeah, I guess so. I guess I just haven't really – no, I don't – I haven't really paid much attention to it. Like, I know it's there, but I'm not – like, last night when the football game was on, I was watching the football game. Do you need Mincy to say the word again? I mean, he will. All we got to do is put a camera on him. Yeah, just have him go live.

I might need Mincy to fuck Travis Kelsey. You've been trending longer than if you would have died. Yeah, probably. Probably. And now if I do die, I'll be trending for all the wrong reasons. Right. You're like, remember this guy? You just got to stay alive.

He said. I really do think I'd rather see Travis Kelsey's dick than any part of him. It's great. We're going to get even more. I'm ready to get in your hole. No comment. Yeah. I appreciate that.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even know when this resolves. I don't. I've just been kind of giggling to myself for the last 24 hours that's all you can do i can't believe this is happening has kelsey ever been on pmt yeah yeah it's a great guest so you could theoretically ask him for his dick right i could that could end all of this hey listen man i'm in a little bit i need your dick don't ask any questions i'm gonna need questions. I'm going to need to see your piece. Hard cock. Yeah. I love Mook's strategy of just saying Taylor Swift. I was

joking. I wouldn't want to see Taylor Swift. I'm not attracted to her at all. I'm just curious about Kelsey's. A lot of her looking is repulsive. Yeah, that's a good way to dig yourself out of that hole. Make sure I'm not in the shot. Yeah.

I do. I think it will probably kick back up when we go to New York next week for surviving Barstool and I'll have to have a talk with Kelly Keegs. Is she mad at you? No, she was explaining the situation to me last night. She was like, anything with sex and Taylor Swift is a no go because she has been slut

shamed in the past, which if you actually think about what I'm saying, I'm actually doing the reverse. I'm saying she might be a virgin. Yeah, right. Because like, unless I see it, it's like dinosaurs. Do dinosaurs exist? I never saw them.

You can't confirm. Yeah, right. Has Taylor Swift ever had sex? I don't know. I haven't seen it with my own two eyes. So you need to see a dinosaur dick and a dinosaur pussy. Right. To actually be like, yep, those guys existed.

Yeah. So I'm actually more on the side of Taylor Swift than the Swifties even. Everybody else might be a pig to see them holding hands and assume they're fucking. Right. Facts. I would never assume that. Anyone who Taylor Swift's ever been linked to because I have not seen it actually happen, I will not assume anything.

Me and Brandon got lunch last Monday. Guess, are we fucking? Maybe. I don't know you might be yeah you'd have to see though we'll see you gotta see you gotta see i can see brandon being like i'm not gay he's just my really good friend and guys have neats yeah so we fuck every now and then sexual being not a big deal you You and me.

Is that why Brandon's been a little cranky? Hasn't gotten his fuck in a couple days? No, I've been fucking him, right? No, that's not it at all. Okay. Have you been cranky? I've not been cranky. Did you guys see Stephen Chase's seven-year anniversaries today? Nope.

I sure didn't. Same. I missed that. Trying to take away your... Wait, what's this one? It's not news in the media. It's particularly an unwarranted cruel deterioration of the way men feel entitled to speak about women. Their bodies and their sex lives need to be seriously evaluated.

Who's Rachel Ziegler? Give us... Aren't all of these people talking... By being protective of her, aren't they owning her sex life as well? They're gatekeeping her pussy. Yeah. is that not yeah i'm trying to keep up with the logic of all i just like perverted podcast blob and that's really all yeah i'm uh yeah people are yeah

it looks filipino yeah when was this picture it looks a different type of asian doesn't it the shirt under the collared shirt never works like that. The white shirt under a button-up. He looks like Asian. He looks Hispanic. Asian Ronaldo. Asian Ronaldo. A little lesbian.

Do we get a bingo board with Stephen Che in terms of... He's the Ariana Grande of the... What was he hired initially to do? Ads. Ad ops. He was, like, the most... He was basically hired initially to do ads ad ops he was um like the most he was basically the traffic flow of ads like you gotta do these ads basically someone needs that job to just be annoying yeah and i mean that in like an endearing way like that if that job is done well you should

be annoyed with that person because that means they're doing their job of being like, make sure you read this ad, make sure you do this. And then, yeah, he slowly morphed into Content J. He found out, so that, I don't know when that picture was taken, but so if he was hired seven years ago today, he found out about Barstool only three months before that. I was doing the hot dog eating competition for Fourth of july and i called into mike and mike they asked me to call in and steven shea was a religious mike and mike listener and he was like what is this thing that's other than espn yeah that makes so much goddamn sense other people talk about sport yeah his whole world was like oh my god he is absolutely a

mike and michael oh 100 stephen chay is is every every ad you see on like commercials during football games all the like football's family and all this stuff it was all built for stephen chay's brain can i point this out so we just got a text from him just a second ago now he's got us all in the fantasy football League, right? Yeah. If that's what you want to call it. If you play well, you win. If you play bad, you might have to drive to Vegas. Should be cut and dry, no problem.

He just texted, quick point of clarity on Fantasy. Bottom four teams will be competing in a loser's bracket in weeks 15 and 16. Seven will play 10, eight will play nine. The loser of that matchup will square off in week 16 with the loser of that game responsible for getting to Vegas. So while Kate is in the last now, me and KB's asses are in the jackpot too with only one win, whoever finishes seventh. That seems like a lot of explanation, doesn't it?

For a loser's bracket playoffs? Yeah. We shouldn't have let him be in charge of the league. The loser's bracket is the worst, though. I'm in one league. Just means you don't have a kicker in this league. Yeah. Got it. What is the point of a loser's bracket is the worst, though. I'm in one league. It just means you don't have a kicker in this league. Yeah. Got it.

What is the point of a loser's bracket? To determine. Yeah, I don't know why we wouldn't just have the last place finisher. I believe he explained it as so that there's, in case somebody is way out in last. He wants intrigue. There's a reason to pay attention. And Kate doesn't pull up the rankings again.

Kate has, like, the most points. She's fifth most points. Fifth most points. And she's she's owing for you that is why fantasy sucks yeah that's why we should have done the the rotisserie where it's just every week you just add points yeah instead of head to head who'd be in last then why do ron big cat and sass all have 10x by their name why don't we just have a vote and say whoever has the least points goes? Why don't we just vote Stephen Che out? Who has the least amount of points now? Yeah, why don't we just make Stephen Che walk to Vegas? I don't have the login for this.

Oh. I don't think any of us do. No, it doesn't matter. He just reports back to us every now and then. Kyle, did you hit first touchdown again? I did. When? Last night?

I made a pack of hot dogs. A whole pack? A pack of hot dogs. A whole pack? A pack of hot dogs. Six francs. Wait. Who scored first touchdown? DK. DK, yeah.

I was like, I've heard of him. I know he's athletic. Let me put money on him. What were the odds? Six. I bet. I made 600. I bet that was sunday night yesterday was a pack of hot dogs yeah it was pacheco there's a button up button down i don't know i'm not gonna get addicted to

it you should probably oh good i'm glad you just yeah i like football now i just love it even yesterday it was sloppy and i thought it was fun it was it was very sloppy and drew lock coming in he should have stayed in because he's like the true fun anything can happen yeah yeah i like this new kyle Football guy. It's great. Yeah. I think, yeah, it's probably the best sport. Yeah. Have you been to a game? I saw the Jets versus the Packers. It was probably, like, when Pennington was playing.

They needed the win to get to the playoffs, and they won by 40. Nice. 44-0, I think. And then that's after that you took your hiatus took my hiatus and what the sanchez playoff after that we're on yeah pennington's been a minute pennington's been a while ago nick did you game i bent did you end up tailgating for the bears game on no i didn, I didn't. I came in. Yeah. I was going to ask how that went. No, no. Going to NFL games kind of stinks. Well, the Bears, as long as it's nice out, they'll still be fun tailgates.

Yeah. When the losing and the cold weather happen, that's when it starts to get cool. I'm going to the Vikings at Bears. I'll tailgate that one. What is that? Is that a Monday night game? Next week.

No. Oh. That's Sunday? Yeah. Huh. I think. I'll tailgate that one. Was that a Monday night game? Next week. No. Oh. That's Sunday? Yeah. Huh. I think. I hope. Yeah, you're going to tailgate on Saturday in Mizzou.

That's right. That's right. I've been getting a lot of wrecks, too. Really? Yeah. That's an 11 a.m. game, though. It's harder to tailgate, though. It's going to be a lot harder, yeah.

Those 11 a.m. games. More fun to tailgate. You don't think? The post-game tailgate over one of those games is elite if you win it might it will be fun for them because they're not college students but when i was in college in the 11 a.m it was always a battle of like i'm you know when you're still drunk when you wake up yep and then you have to have in that first beer is like will i get more drunk or am i gonna get sick that's always a like i don't want to get past that hump it's amazing yeah that's true you just keep it rolling we'll see how it goes i'm excited to check it out i don't know much about mizzou you don't hear about them too often

they're five and oh yeah someone predicted that yeah yep no no no no no no no no fuck that months ago in may i'm the only person in amer America that said Mizzou was going to be 5-0. I said that. Roll the tape. That's what I mean. You didn't say that. But I'm saying roll, let's see you say it. Roll the tape.

Jack Mack, somebody get it. We don't have it? I don't guess we have it. I said it. Interesting. I said, I also said that. I said they'd be 5-0. I did. I said the Seahaw they'd be 5-0. I did.

I said the Seahawks would win 24-3. I knew you said that. You're on the LeBron shit. LeBron's got all the wins. What is he doing? He's picking every game now? He's picking every game. I think he went 14-2.

14-2. Pretty good. But he also did a classic LeBron where he said, I'm thinking about picking all the games. I think he said this on Saturday or maybeBron where he said, I'm thinking about picking all the – I think he said this on Saturday or maybe Sunday. He's like, I'm thinking about picking all the games. I did pick the Lions over the Packers. Yeah.

Okay. So that's one. So 1-0. And then I think he also might have said he went live at maybe like 1130 and he'd already picked the Jaguars. Okay. Did you see the clip of him talking about how much he loved the 49ers and his eyes are looking loved the 49ers and

he was just he was his eyes are looking at the depth chart and he's just listing names and he's just yeah he's just saying names out loud um he's just reading the roster he's uh yeah basketball media day is starting yeah so weird when basketball i love it i love i love when all the sports get going together. October. You a sports guy? You a sports guy? Big sports guy.

Oh, we should have said, speaking of baseball, Kyle, you can wear your Trevor Bauer jersey. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. It's huge, dude. I mean, it still has a giant Chief Wahoo on the shoulder. But you're back. The Bauer name is back. Saw the video.

That's insane. Ins insane is are we sure we're clear we should wait a little bit i think we should wait i i don't know i just saw the video and then i saw the washington post headline which would make me even more mad because they were like the washington post wrote uh trevor bauer settles like like, suspended MLB, former MLB star who was suspended for two years, settles lawsuit with alleged victim or something like that. Did you watch the video? That's not what he was set up. It's crazy.

It's a crazy, crazy story. So can he, like, sue and get back salary or something? I don't know. I feel like. What money? Where is the money? Is it baseball suspended? Baseball suspended him. Who's giving him the money?

MLB. MLB? I guess. It's weird. None of the journos are reporting on it at all. It's very quiet. Oh, they're reporting on me. Yeah.

They just leapfrogged to the next thing. None of the baseball baseball journalists have said anything which is like I don't know well that tells me that there might be something more right is that what that tells you? or you just don't want to I think they just don't want to look

like they buried a guy for no reason a lot of deleted tweets in the middle of the night from when they were killing him and then they just hope it goes away. Yeah. It didn't help that nobody, he was a very. Well, no, that is.

Not a lot of people liked him before. Correct. That's a fair thing to say is that he was not well liked and maybe a dick to other people. That way, when shit hits the fan. Nobody was there to stand in the back. Apparently, I only have Greer and Fasoli who have my back. I was asleep.

I'd rather have Greer and Fasoli than 10,000 men. It is funny that Dave's doing a double troll on everyone. Yeah. Being like, this is disgusting. He's like, I... He loves the mo.

Yeah, he's like, men are disgusting and I am one. Yeah, no, he's in his bag right now with the burner. Once the burner comes out, so fucking funny. All right, well, what else do we have today? Do we have a book report today? Yeah, I was up pretty late, and I came in early this morning, finished the book. You read the whole thing?

I read the entire book. This hoe got roaches? This hoe has roaches in her crib. By the way, also we should say everyone go subscribe to Healthy Debate because Jetsy is getting a raise, which is pretty fucking cool. They just tased him on Barstool Radio. They did? They tased him? They did it off camera, though, for some reason.

Oh, because of YouTube, maybe? Would YouTube get mad about that? I would have done it on this channel. Really? Yeah, it'd be funny. Should we put Taze on the wheel? Yeah. No.

That's all. I'll go. I'll go. I can't handle mousetraps. I'd rather get punched in the face. Yeah. Being shocked is my least favorite sensation. Ever.

You could do pepper spray if you don't know what it is. That's probably worse. We could just do pepper spray. Why can't we just put nice things on the wheel? We don't have to kill each other. Just give each other a hug. Yeah, hugs on the wheel. We did compliment minute.

That counts. I'd rather do mousetrap than compliment. Actually, can you spin the wheel right now because I really want to do a mousetrap again? Yeah. Well, there's one laying over there set if you want to go touch it just let's spin the wheel right now let's just see because i just is one person getting snagged right now well no if it lands on mousetrap yeah let's just get the wheel out of the way yeah it's going to land on wheel reset and then it's going to land on mousetrap oh that would be special we should put like fight the swifties on the wheel yeah yeah just buzz them buzz the tower

yeah nick you told me is rachel oh my god oh oh keep going yes yes is that white everybody hates rachel ziegel star. Oh, that's who it is? She's the one who tweeted. Yeah. That's actually good to have her against you because then everybody knows that she's never said anything right. Right. Right. No, the original girl who came after you is the brain surgery survivor.

Emily Sears? She had brain surgery? That was in her bio. All right. Not going to be a big cat. Damn it. Wait, is this just- This is the same wheel from yesterday.

Is this just footage from yesterday's show? Damn it. Oh, my God. It is. No, it came down to me and him. Okay. It's not then. Oh, man. Got the close-up camera on you though

brandon you love that oh this is here you go brandon it's gonna oh no never mind oh i don't think leaving you off of the uh yak studio graphic was intentional i bet they just pulled one of the no that was definitely i don't that render was from months ago and was not done by anybody on this show. Wow. I've never not been on the logo. Yeah, you have. When we unveiled Kate on the logo, we got rid of you instead of Owen on it.

Oh, okay. Damn. This is enjoyable. Oh, no. Your biggest fears. Fuck. Here we go, Brandon. Here we go, Brandon.

Here we go. Here we go, Brandon. I don't... Every goddamn day, we're just gonna do this. This is impossible. This is impossible. You survived this. Oh, no.

No way. If you survived... Oh, no. No. I want nothing more. I just... I want nothing. This is impossible. No, no Tons of people come back from one nothing and a lot it over. 2-0. Let's go back at the end. No, no. It's 2-0. It's 2-0.

You got to respect the wheel. It's 2-0. It's 2-0. It's 2-0. There you go, Brandon. There you go, Brandon. Okay, Brandon, you want to end on a hot streak right here? You want to go 2-1, take a break? Yeah, let's take a break.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let me break my fucking finger. And that way we can... You're not going to break your finger. You want to end on a hot streak right here? You want to go 2-1, take a break? Yeah, let's take a break. I'm gonna break my fucking finger, and that way we can- You're not gonna break your finger! 3-1, break your finger. Stop it. Oh, here we go. It's not gonna break your finger, it's just gonna be really painful. For a split second. It's just a little scary.

You just gotta hit it at the right spot and it won't hurt at all. But it's not even over yet. See? There you go, Brandon. There you go. There you go. 3-2. 3-2, Brandon.

Come on, Brandon. See? You got this, Brandon. Oh, damn. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pride for the comeback. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Not wait.

Let me fucking do it. Then do it. You were allowed to do it. Do it. Let your fingers go. Oh, you got to walk the mouse. Walk the mouse. No, I don't want to.

You got to. No, let's watch it. Be a little mouse. Wait, wait, wait. Get the camera. Shut the fuck up. Okay. I don't want to do this.

All right, I'll do it. I'll do it for you. I'll do it. It happened to it for you. I'll do it. It happened to land on me. I'm going to do it. Stay back. Move it up on the table. I don't want to do it at all.

I'll do it for you. Shut up! Okay. Let's do it later. Let's up! Let's do it later. Let's do it later. Do it later. You got to do it. Here comes the mouse.

It doesn't hurt, Brandon. No. It doesn't hurt. No, it's a sting. It's a real quick sting. I did it. I snagged myself earlier. I'm talking to you.

Oh, no. Brandon's become a Swifty. Here comes the little mouse. Get the side, get the meat out of your hand. Take the cheese. Here comes the little mousey. You just got to avoid the center of the finger. Mousey mouse. Back up, back up, back up. It's not even set right. Here comes the mouse.

Trap expert Titus. I will do it for you. No, you won't, because then you're just going to put it on the wheel tomorrow, and it's not going to be funny tomorrow. We're just going to do it. So let me just get it over with Here comes the mouse Oh boy I've complained about anxiety issues For four days

And y'all can get your fucking ass This is gonna get you over the fear man Yeah that will Oh the mousey Push the cheese down push don't don't do knuckle what are you doing knuckle is irreversible get like the meatiest part of your hand hey wait wait brandon before we do it let's do this how about we get a thousand subscribers to mostly sports before we do it how about we get a thousand subscribers

before we do it brandon brand we get 1,000 subscribers before we do it? Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. Listen to him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't care about the subscribers? Hold on, Brandon, step away. Let's talk this out. Let's talk this out. I know we're going to talk this out. There's only one thing going on.

Deep breaths. You're overwhelmed. It's you versus you. It's the cheese. Here comes the little mouse. I can do the meat in my hand? Yeah, but you got to pretend you're a mouse. You got to walk with your fingers. Little mousey. Here comes the little mouse. I can do the meat in my hand? Yeah, but you gotta pretend you're a mouse. You gotta walk with your fingers.

Little mousey, here comes the little mousey. Oh! There you go. See? It was nothing. Was it bad? Little mouse. And is your fear gone?

Yeah, your fear's gone. No, take it off the wheel. It's not funny anymore. We can take your name off of it's not funny anymore we can take your name off of it i don't want to take my name i want to be hold on a conundrum oh good breathe drink some water plug hold your nose and drink some of that you don't like the taste nick blow his back out i'll fuck you hard i'm proud of you i will destroy you that's's the most attractive Brandon's ever looked. Okay. Acing his fears. Okay.

See, you did it, man. You good? So what else is going on? What else is going on? You guys have a wheel on mostly sports? We have a hat. We should. Yeah, TJ, we should just put mousetraps. We're not putting mousetraps in the hat.

It's the only way you're going to get over it. I don't need to get – why would I need to get over a just put mousetraps. We're not putting mousetraps in the hat. It's the only way you're going to get over it. I don't need to get – why would I need to get over a fear of mousetraps? You think this is a good way to go through life is that you see a mousetrap and you fucking break the microphone, throw it across the room, start screaming. You're turning Brandon into a mouse where he just comes in every day and he's like, where the fuck are the traps? It's exposure therapy, Brandon. This is good for you.

You're Stuart Little or whatever. It probably would help if we put an actual piece of cheese on the trap yeah a little bologna oh what's this bologna you're giggling you knew it didn't hurt yeah i was fine yeah yeah i'm proud of you i wouldn't make you do something that would hurt yes you would no i wouldn't what have I ever done that made you hurt? Emotionally or psychologically or what? Physically. I don't know. Yeah.

We were slapping each other pretty hard. Oh, yeah, we were. Remember that phase? Yeah, we hit each other really hard. Kyle slapped the fucking shit out of me. Yeah, he did. I took some palms. Dana, like, was it Dana who ended? No.

I ended Dana. You ended, you hit Dana really no no dana ended me i think i hit roan and then dana oh yeah that's right you hit my like the whole side of my ear and shit you did you did a beethoven's dad on me so what all right you can't read yeah no use for you to go to that how are everyone's erotic short stories coming pretty good bad it's hard but i have new inspiration which is nice oh yeah there might be a famous person we're all gonna get canceled our names are gonna be on the book oh no yeah what if i just wrote the most grotesque thing ever and brought

you guys all down to my level oh my god yeah nick why don't you do the ad we'll reset yeah yeah we'll reset it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because high noon game day pack is back mook what's your favorite oversized lawn game? The bags. I forget what they're called. It was a regular size, man. Oh, oversized. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

As long as you've got a High Noon in your hand. Includes limited edition fan faves, pear, cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit. Made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate pack. Before your next tailgate and find a pack near you. High Noon.

Highnoonspirits.com. Ah. Delicious. Delicious High Noon. Do you want to do your book report because you actually worked on it? I mean, I just did bullet points. I don't want to do any spoilers. Okay.

How problematic is this book report? So I went, no, it's not problematic. Or the book. The book is, if it, I was going into it thinking this would be a racist comedy. Okay. Turns out it's a racist tragedy. Oh, damn it. It's one of the saddest books I've ever read in my life

Oh, no things I learned Oh, I had to google a lot of things can a white person say this I most slipped up twice in this book report This hoe has roaches in her crib by Kwan Mills, okay I just have bullet points as I read the prison system's over floating flowing court system's slow if you're in for a non-violent crime chances are you'll stay in cook county baby uh real trap shit that was a word you could say yeah yeah there's yeah uh there's a shocking amount of child abuse in this book oh my god uh two kids die and a 12 year old gets his babysitter pregnant

what the fuck uh low-key dope boys don't mind fucking the same girl um at the same time or and they don't care if the pussies stink as long as they get a taste uh old men love eating the groceries the groceries means asshole. Yeah. I just like groceries. Now it's time for some trivia. I will ask you guys a question. Okay. Say it's from this hoe has roaches in her crib or if it's from Lord of the Rings. Okay.

The main characters ride or die besties are Tykesha and Antoinette. That's just Hogot Roaches. That's that Hogot Roaches. Okay. All right. One of these books has the item Hadfahang, the Sword of Arwen. That's Lord of the Rings. That's Lord of the Rings.

All right. Which book has Elrond? And here's a hint. He's half.. Which book has Elrond? And here's a hint. He's half. He's half. Elrond? Elrond. That might be Kwan.

That might be Q. Is that Lord of the Rings? I'm going Lord. That's Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. He's half elf. Yeah. Your mind is Kwan.

All right. Kwamani and his brother Zanir. That's Kwan. I think I stand with the people who tried to cancel. Yeah. There's a big fight over jewelry. That's both. That's both.

That's both. We have the humans versus Sauron's army, and then we have Quantasia versus Tatiana. Yeah, but for anybody who wants to read it uh first of all don't and then uh now i'm about to give a spoiler uh it's about this this trifling ass mom and she's awful she likes her two sons she doesn't like maya her daughter this whole time maya's dad is in prison. He's about to get out.

She goes to the father-daughter dance at prison. You're like, okay, he's going to save her from this disgusting home. Yeah. And he's about to get out in a day, and before he gets to see his daughter, the daughter collapses collapses and she gets bacterial meningitis and dies oh my god and then he finds out he was never the daddy oh oh shit but then he gets 10 million dollars oh from what um so the trifling ass hoe she sues the doctor who couldn't who did this experimental surgery on the daughter and then they're celebrating in the court the whole family cuz they didn't really care about the daughter and he's breaking down crying and then

the social worker comes and like it was like he was not the biological dad but he loved her and he gets 10 mil and then he went and killed the hell do these like killed the hoe yeah killed now and the like... Killed the hoe? Yeah, he killed the hoe. And the roaches? No, no, no. Yeah, where are the roaches? The roaches are what... A roach bite killed the girl. Oh. It came from bacterial meningitis.

Oh, my God. Does he just, like, abruptly get into these plot points, or does it flow smoothly? It is... Like, it twists work. No. Okay. No.

It's just abrupt. But it keeps on adding characters and then like um yeah now let me ask you this let me ask you this nick was the book woke would you say um there were no white characters so yeah yeah yeah it's pretty woke oh man what a book good job Nick Thank you Followed through Kyle you're up What you doing Kyle I didn't read it

You didn't even get it I didn't get it It didn't come in the mail yet Okay so to be continued Are you looking around Wait do you I'm looking what she's Oh my god

Sandy Her home office is crazy She's wealthy Well yeah She's wealthy. Well, yeah. She's a best-selling book author. She's probably cashing in. I'll read it. Brandon, have you calmed down from the mousetrap?

I have calmed down. I'm very calm. Very calm right now. Why? What's up? I'm just thinking that maybe we've got to get some fake snakes in here. I don't like the trend of this show. Maybe Nicky Smoke should prank you.

Oh, is that? Yeah, that'd be squared away. Oh, can we watch his video? What'd he do? He forgot to turn on the mic for his man on the street. It's silent. Oh, my God. That's right.

Oh, yeah. That's right. Yes. Oh, no. And I told him, he texted me, and he was like, man, I fucked up. And I was like, no, you didn't. Oh my god! That's right. Oh yeah. That's right. Yes. Oh no. And I told him, he texted me and he was like, man I fucked up. And I was like, no you didn't.

This should be your thing. Yeah. Is silent man on the streets. You can't hear anything? Not a word. So I think he put music over it, but the one he sent me, dead quiet. Not even, not a sound. Oh yeah, not a sound.

Oh yeah, this is hilarious. That's a definitely best case scenario. I'm really starting to love Nicky Smoke. Oh wait, can we watch his 9-11 wing review? Where he was like, never in my life will I ever pull my phone out and review some fucking food at a place. He's like, I know I have to make content, but I don't give a fucking shit. I haven't seen it, no. 9-11 Tavern. Had me in tears.

That's the name of it? Yeah. Or is it 9-1-1? No, it's the 9-11 Tavern. My microphone's dead, so I really don't give a fuck. All right, we're outside of 9-11 fucking Tavern. My microphone's dead, so I really don't... Alright, we're outside of 9-11 fucking tavern. My microphone's dead, so I really don't give a fuck. Maybe his mic should be off.

I already ate the fucking wings. I know I'm supposed to do content and shit, but never in my life would I ever be belly up at a fucking bar and pull out my camera to do a fucking food review. I'm not a fucking square. But the wings were fucking fire. Not bar bill, but they were very good i'm gonna give them an 8.7 the fries though the fries though them things are busting 10 out of 10 fries best fries

i've ever had in my entire life so 9-11 paverin wings 8.7 fries 10 out of 10 don't ever be a fucking square if you make content for a living, great. Do your fucking thing. The bar is for the fucking boys. Don't pull out yourself on a fucking weasel rat. Who's he talking to? What? Why is he so aggressive?

I really don't want to ever do this. If you do content for a living, that's fine. But he does. Yeah. He just shit on his own job and the thing that Dave is best known for. Is he talking about Dave? I don't know. Yeah, but he doesn't give a fucking shit at all.

No, he doesn't give a fucking shit. He doesn't give a fuck about content. It's the best. He's the man. So that, yeah. So I think food reviews where you don't see the food or the restaurant. Never see the food. And silent man on the street.

I want this. I want this series sold. He's got anti-comedy down so perfectly. It's so good. But he's not doing it on purpose. He's actually feeling this. You're a fucking loser if you do a food review. So aggressive. I'm at the 9 fucking 11 time.

Your job is to make content. It's so good where is he he's not here today uh he booked the wrong flight home apparently he's at the airport in buffalo yeah right now it's tuesday i just 48 hours ago sunday you want to give him a call yeah well I don't know if I should put him on live, Mike. No, just let him know. Call him. He might answer the phone with something. Yeah, he might answer something problematic.

What's good, you sexy beast? Nikki, it's Big Cat. You're live on the app. Oh, shit. You're still sexy, too. Well, we're not friends Big Cat. You're live on the act. Oh, shit. You're so sexy, too. Well, we're not friends right now. You ended our friendship.

Question about the food review that you did where we didn't get to see any of the food. Oh, that was only one of them. You have another one? Yeah, I did like three of them. But do we get to see the food? Yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, your belly up at the bar.

Yeah, except the 9-11 one. It's because I. Wait, your belly up at the bar. Yeah. The 9-11 one. It's because I was like the only person there at the bar belly up. And it was just me and this old bartender. And they only took cash. So I felt like if I took my video out, they'd kick me out. Why would they have kicked you out? I don't know. They only take cash.

Like, I don't. What? So you give them cash. No, i gave them cash but like if they're only taking cash in 2023 like they probably don't fuck with like people that have cell phones and shit yeah your brain is fascinating dude you got a fascinating crazy i mean yeah dude i grew up in miami like it, it's been fucked, like, since I was 14, so. What happened when you were 14? Oh, no, I know. Well, if you read the blog I wrote about you today, I was basically just telling everyone that I jumped off the porch at 14.

So when kids were playing two-hand touch flag football on the street, like, I was at the club fucking doing drugs and drinking and trying to get bitches. Wait, what does that have to do with jumping off the porch? Who's trying to get bitches? Wait, but this is all about. do with jumping off the porch who's trying to this is wait but this is all oh jumping off the porch metaphorically i thought you actually jumped off the porch and like your brain got fucked up and hurt no but i thought it was yeah all right i have had a concussion wait so why is that why why is that have to do with

you ending our friendship no this has to do with you ending our friendship? No. This has to do with why I didn't review the wings in the bar. I thought we were good. I thought I just have to please Jerry now. No, no, I'm with Jerry. I stand with Jerry. You got to do more than that. You call this rat weasels.

It's weasel rats, big cat. Okay, weasel rats. So either way, Jerry is the one. I go with whatever Jerry decides. You have to do whatever Jerry wants to get back our friendship. Would a silent man on the street in the airport help things? Yeah. What about doing this?

I texted you guys. I said, look, this is the perfect hazing opportunity. You guys could come up with any haze idea. I don't want to haze you. Do you want to be hazed? I mean, I'm not opposed to it. I feel like it'd be easier than whatever else you guys would ask me to do. I don't know.

I don't have a creative bone in my body. Well, no, you did the review where we didn't get to see the food. That was creative. I've never seen one like that. That was creative. I think you got to do exactly what I do. Remember when we sat down and talked your first month, and I was like, just do you? Nikki Smokes, just without trying to do anything too hard, is comedy.

You did a food review without the food. You did a man on the street without a mic working. That's fucking funny. Those are funny things. Where is he now? Where are you right now? I'm waiting for my $85 Uber to pick me up to go to the airport what it's tuesday i i know i booked the wrong fucking date nine just you yeah nine fucking lemon all right well what do you say smokes what's the worst

offense betting against the dolphins or taking a picture of your food at a bar? I didn't hear it. I heard bet against the Dolphins or what? Or taking a picture of your food at a bar. What's worse? What's worse? Betting on them or betting against them? Betting against them.

I mean, betting against them just makes you a scum fuck in my eyes. Yeah, but always taking a picture of your food at a bar. You don't have to bet the Dolphins every time. I just thought me, you, and Jerry, we had something special but i was correct yeah and that that's fine i just i wanted like a courtesy text like hey smokes i know you're going to the game i know how much this means to you like i'm slamming the bills i would have been like all right fine thanks for letting me know okay turn on advisors and like i'm getting dragged and jerry's like yeah fuck that kid like the dolphins fucking suck, that hurt me.

It wasn't personal. I wasn't thinking of you. Well, you brought me up when you dropped the pick, so I took it personally. When did I bring you up when I dropped the pick? On Barstool Sports. Oh, okay, maybe I did, yeah. Frankie Smokes and Frank the Tank, they're buying your ticket to Vegas. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you guys did talk about that in front of me. You said, Frank, let's buy our tickets right now. That's what Dolphin fans do in September. We talk about Super Bowls. Did you hear Nick helps us with boomers on Sundays. Did you hear the great line in a PMT? No, I didn't. All right, I'll read it.

Hold on. Nick, do you remember it? The Dolphins waste... The Bills wasted the Dolphins. Speaking of wasted bills. Yeah. Smokes. Yeah, here it is.

Yeah. We start in Western New York where the Bills wasted the Dolphins. Speaking of wasted bills, my former friend, Nicky Smokes, makes $100,000 a year. Oh. Damn. That's pretty good, right? That was fucking great. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Listen, even though we're not friends, I'm buying Nicky Smokes stock right now. I have it all. I have it all. Yeah. You are an unintentionally hilarious dude. I'll take that.

You hear that, Mookie? He's buying my stock. So I'm buying a fucking table this Saturday, and you better be there. Well, no, the stock doesn't. It's not actual money. It's not actual money, Nicky. No, I know, but it could lead to more money.

I'm going to celebrate. Oh, so we're celebrating. Okay, all right, celebrating the fact that I've put a buy order on Nicky Smokes. Yeah. Yes. That's definitely cause for at least two bottles. Two bottles. Two bottles.

Nicky Smokes is the type of dude, like, if he started a startup and you're like, we're investing $10 million, he'd just take the $10 million. Yeah. It's wild, too. Like, now what? Yeah. Okay. All right.

Well, maybe another man on the street in the airport. No Mike. No Mike. I mean, Nick came up with the greatest idea ever, and I think I'm just going to say the most outlandish shit to people with the mic off and just get their reaction. You just see the reaction. I like that, but that definitely also sounds like

you're going to accidentally put your mic on. Because if you tried to put your mic on and you didn't, if you try not to put your mic on, the Nicky Smokes corollary here, you would put it on, and then you'd say fucked up shit. Yeah, and then I'd get canceled. Right. Okay. All right.

Well, safe flight, man. We'll see you, you know, it's like the Oregon Trail getting back. See you on Thursday. Oh, okay, tomorrow. Okay, sounds good. All right. Later, Beast. It's Nicky Smokes. Phenomenal. See you on Thursday Oh okay tomorrow Okay sounds good Alright guys Alright Later Beast It's Nicky Smokes I'm

Phenomenal phone call Yes What a hit rate I know I fell off the porch I'm surprised you're not Beefing with him over wing nuts I

I said it when I saw it Like Nicky Smokes reviewing food If he says something's bad That that you know it's good. He is just a—he's the opposite man. Yeah. Whatever— I love how, like, you're like, hey, man, why didn't you film in the bar?

And he was like, since I was 14 in Miami, I've been going to clubs. Yeah, I've been to houses. All right. They take cash. The cash thing. That logical reroute was... I'm so in. Oh, my God.

I'm so in. He's got the perfect amount of unintentional. He and Mincy are going to have a battle royale for unintentional. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, I haven't... Yeah, I know. What is he up to? He's coming soon.

Is he? Is he moving? He's doing one. Is he? Is he moving? He's doing one more tour. When does Mincy get rehired here? Because I heard we were going to rehire him. Oh, yeah. When does he start with his first day? Yeah, he did.

He has another tour coming up? That's what he told me. I did love that he did an emergency press conference to tell people he wasn't going to a widespread panic show. Yeah. Four states away yeah um yeah so he's got some games i mean he went to old miss lsu he was in chicago for two days he came to the office for one yeah yeah and then the other day he had to look at an apartment hogs for the cause is on the horizon yeah when is that that's it's only six months away seven months away yeah yeah hogs for the cause was i mean i just remember mincy just getting like he was just sitting at hogs for the cause

like i can't believe i got big cat and dave to come to hogs for the cause i was like mincy the final four is here we were we were four minutes away um Did he have a breakup with Brickwatch? I think in his last few posts, no watch. Oh, no. Oh, no. Are you snitching on daddy? Yeah. It's fair. Oh, no.

I hope he didn't. I just want to get to the bottom of it. Yeah. He probably sold the watch right off his own wrist. Oh. Oh. What is this review he's doing? Does it matter?

Sports fans, Nirvana Center. In the last 24 years, everything in my entire life came full circle this weekend, and I just want to thank Lane Kiffin, Jackson Dart, the Ole Miss offensive line for playing the game of their life after all the heat they were under. Go ahead, Brandon. Jordan Watkins, Quinson on Junkins. Does he think they won that game for him? Yeah, for sure.

You don't? Certainly. Me storming the field last night. Oh, that's the video of New York. Yeah, I can't wait to see. Oh, my God. That Jackson Darb video got me fired up, though. Which one was that?

They were doing the sexy red postgame. No. Who is Jackson Dart? Quarterback for Ole Miss. Oh. Yeah. Great quarterback name. Yeah.

Yeah, it's perfect. Incredible. He was at USC before. I'm excited for Mincy to get in here. I mean, you should temper that excitement. It could be months. It could be months. It could be a while.

Depends on what Widespread Panic's tour is looking like. Live studio audience for Wake Up Mincy? Yes, yes, that will happen, and that will be incredible. What is he doing here? He has a watch here. Oh, he definitely flung it off. Did he lose his watch? Shot off.

Yeah, he got excited. Can we call Mincy and figure out what happened to the watch? What is he singing? The stupid nursery rhyme they do. I like the end, though. What is he singing? The stupid nursery rhyme they do. I like the end, though. Oh, yes, I do. Cut it. Cut it.

That was kind of swaggy. All right, that's enough. That's enough. He was getting ready to cut it like five seconds before that, though. The video was too long. Oh, my God. Cut it. He's the best. He's the best.

He is the best. But now we have another toy. Another contender? We have another little toy in the chest. They couldn't be more opposite. No. We're just going to collect

all these toys and just play with them every day. I couldn't be more excited. We also, I'm waiting to get in the new office because I feel like that's going to be White Sox Dave's time to shine, too. Him doing random challenges.

He needs that. Yeah. Yeah. I want, like, a live journal of your trip with him this weekend, Nick. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's going to start with a five-and-a-half-hour car ride. Who's driving?

Yeah Chief I think is What type of car? I don't know That's very important Yeah White Sox Dave scares me Because I feel like if I look him in the eyes

Like his wires will get crossed And he'll just like freak out Are you gonna ride shotgun? Or you know that Dave No no I'm not gonna take shotgun I'm a guest on this trip These guys do these.

I'm going to sit in the very back. You're like a foot taller than Dave. What are they doing right now? I think they're doing mid-show, prepping for mid-show. Oh, yeah. They're talking online. We haven't had him on in a while. Conrad or Chief or Dave?

Dave. Yeah, what do you want? Is he in there? Is Dave in there? I think they're all in there. I want to talk to him. Hmm. yeah what do you want is he in there is Dave in there I want to talk to him hmm no I'm excited though

yeah I think I want to buy a unicycle and a pogo stick for the new office and then just put him in the and then just put him

like in the middle of the gym and just see what happens I like that idea just lay him in the middle of the gym and just step back and see Nicky Smokes picks it gym and just step back and see.

Nicky Smokes picks it up. I do think we should do some roller derby. Yeah. Full contact. I'm in. Yeah. It's finding that nice balance of we're not going to be dude perfect. I want to be, like, jackass with, like, a bad dude perfect.

What up, Dave? We miss everything. Dave, your trip this weekend. Also, are you a Nicky Smokes fan? Within the borders of this office, yes. Okay. Outside it, absolutely not. Okay.

What does that mean? That's actually a fair answer. No, I never, ever want to be with a kid on a social level at all. I do like him. And not too dissimilar to Brandon and I's relationship. Yeah, yeah. No, that's actually a completely fair answer because I'm the same. I'm not going to go out and get bottles with.

You have that answer about pretty much everybody here, though. No, I'd go out with you. Oh, well. We go out. All right. Is that it? No, no, no. All right, so the trip.

Sorry, Dave. Are you busy? No, no. Who's driving? Probably Chief. What kind of car? I would imagine a big-ass SUV. Oh, he's renting.

Yeah, we're renting. Oh, okay. All right, so that's good. So you got that. I didn't invite myself on this did i i think no it's kind of like an open invite we just invited megan too okay what kind of content we make in go and fucking do things yeah no i i understand like you said that yesterday and it blew my mind as like the three of us just go and do things like we don't necessarily you know script what we're about to do yeah well i mean we have like you know mental bullet points and have you tried that

like or do you know that'll start like that'll that. Yeah. Have you had a thought today? On this trip, no. Okay. Not really. I like that. That'll start when we get to Columbia. Yeah. I'll start thinking of things. Are you guys going to party?

I think we have to. We didn't really last when we went to. Why wouldn't you? Colorado? Colorado, yeah. Why wouldn't we party? I mean, we did a little bit because we were at Private 12, but. Yeah, maybe a little party yeah we're gonna

we're gonna party okay all right it's 11 a.m kickoff i know what i'm born bred in the east lot ryan field no i listen i was saying that the 11 a.m shouldn't be a problem if you college students it's a problem i understand that yeah because i'll be i'll be up at 7 a.m. Ready to go. Fuck yeah, Nick. I want you awake whenever White Sox stays awake. Are you all driving back after the game? Sunday morning. No, Monday morning, I think.

What are you doing there Sunday? I'm not positive. I'm pretty sure we're driving back Monday, though. Ed's got... Nick is just going to stay in Columbia, Missouri. I could be incorrect there. Why would we have a rental car? Why would we stay in it?

I was of the impression we were coming back Monday. I could be incorrect there. What are you going to do in Columbia, Missouri on a Sunday? Ed had this idea. He said, let's go to Columbia for Mizzou LSU. We'll get a bunch of stuff down there. And I'm like, you know what they'll probably do on Sunday? Is things.

Yeah, we're going to do some things. Just going to go and do some things. Remind everyone... I reached out. We're going to try to get into the rec center. It's a rec center that has a lazy river. Oh, okay. So if anybody else, the Deuce Pub, Picklemans,

and then... The wrestling facility? the wrestling facility. The wrestling facility. Will you remind everyone that we're streaming Thursday night here? We're streaming Thursday night. No, no, all Eddie and Chief. Yeah. For the Bears.

I will remind people that, yes. He's going to the game, but we'll stream here. You guys should bring Nicky Smokes this weekend. Absolutely not. Eight hours. the will stream here you guys should bring nikki smokes this weekend absolutely not eight hours and i'd rather like if you gave me the choice between taking a shot in the face like getting shot in the face with a gun gun or riding in a car with nikki smokes for eight hours i'm opting for death a thousand times out of a thousand he won't he won't be back by the time they leave anyway oh yeah that's true but wait when does he get? I saw you record a video without audio.

That was good. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. It was all been there. Damn good. All right. Why don't we just go right now, man? I got nothing going on.

Let's hit the road. The road. How many miles away is it? It's like six hours. Columbia is good at this. I'm going to say 515 from Chicago. I think it seems a little much. Culturally, the south, midwest, or the Rust Belt?

I'm sorry? What is it culturally? Is that the south or the midwest? I would consider it like the Ozarks-ish, but I don't know. Columbia, Missouri is six hours in the car. How many miles? 391. 391.

That's not bad at all. No, that was horrible for me. He nails it. That was fucking terrible for me. Yeah, give him another one. Random one. How about from here to Flagstaff, Arizona? Oh, man, that's tough.

He lived in Arizona. I did, no. Hmm. 1 lived in Arizona. I did, no. Hmm. 1,600 miles. That one's pretty easy, actually. I don't think that's very easy. About 1,800 of Phoenix from here. 1,657.

Wow, Dave. Good. What the fuck? I was in logistics. How did you do that? Yeah, that was crazy. I was in logistics, knowing A to B was my entire life. All right, last Wow, Dave. Good. What the fuck? I was in logistics. How did you do that? Yeah, that was crazy. I was in logistics knowing A to B was my entire life. All right, last one, Atlanta.

From here? No. Yes. 600 miles? 650? 716. Pretty good. That was actually a bad one, too.

I should have been closer on that one. It's okay. What about here to Minneapolis? 300 on the dot. 300 on the dot? Not on the dot, but it'll be. What did you say? KB, are you getting mad right now?

It's 150 to Madison. It's like another 150 to Minneapolis, I thought. Look how close Madison is. You got that. Oh, no. No, it's not. Damn. Look how close Madison is. Oh, 150. You got that? You're back. You're back.

That's what I was doing. I was just doubling it. Miami to Austin. That's a tough one. Down Route 10, I believe, through Jacksonville, you would take Miami. I don't. To Austin, Texas, you said? Mm-hmm.

About 1,700. I don't think To Austin, Texas, you said? Mm-hmm. About 1,700. I don't think that's enough. That feels like too much. 1,400. Overs all day today. Did you guys ever see the map where they, and this is really dumb to not even realize this, but that all the highways are numbered sequentially up?

10, 20, 30, 40, yeah. That made me feel really bad. And east to west as east to west as well yeah that made me feel really stupid when i saw that i was like oh yeah that does make sense yeah oh shit fuck um okay thank you dave thanks dave excited yeah look there look at this map see what the fuck 5 15 25 35, 25, 35, 45, 55. Well, 45. I did not know that. And then, yeah, and then it goes 10 to 90 up top. Isn't that crazy?

Wow. That's a really dumb thing that made me feel really dumb. Yeah, I mean, we would have, yeah, we needed a system to number these things. Right, but I just, I never even, never even dawned on that. I always thought they were so random. Yeah, right. Whatever number wasn't taken. You just smacked a number on it.

And then the auxiliary highways, the one that are three digits, just means that the last two are the interstate it comes off of. You lost me. Spreading that on a map. I explained it poorly. Yeah. So you know the three-digit highways? Yeah.

That is an auxiliary highway that connects the same interstate, and the last two digits of that three-digit interstate number are the interstate that it connects. So you're driving on 90, and then you get to O'Hare. It's like, was it 190 or 290? 290. 290 is the circle around. You're going 290. Yeah, around 190.

Or around 90, I mean. Damn, the more you learn. That shit is good. All right, well, thank you dave good luck remind them about the stream i think i told everyone uh by the way november 8th barstool invitational you get ready for a college basketball experience like no other barstool sports invitational is back again on wednesday november 8th this time at wind trust arena in chicago check us out we have brand Brandon Walker versus Bobby Hurley.

Arizona State, Mississippi State is the second game. The first game is Loyola Chicago versus FAU. It's going to be awesome. What a matchup of mid-majors that is. Everyone's going to be there. We're going to do yak basketball, I assume. Yeah, we have to. Can't think of something.

What'd they say? They said in the planning phase that they want us to do something but maybe not yak basketball. Brandon off the trampoline? What could we do? Mousetraps. I think mousetraps. I think we could do mousetraps.

With mousetraps. I think they were looking for something less complicated. Oh, okay. Like a knockout. What if we all did a dunk contest off the trampoline? What if you played backboard dodgeball? What's that? It's like dodgeball where –

Backboards? Well, yeah. You just play dodgeball. Yeah, you play dodgeball. We could just play dodgeball. Dodgeball could be fun. And then once you're out, you stand on the sideline. To get someone back in, you have to hit the backboard with the dodgeball,

and then the guy that's out on your team gets back in. What if we played the egg game? It seems like it would be dangerous for people sitting in the first two or three rows. My dad gets hit square in between the eggs. Well, that would be great. Okay, so we need something less complicated. I think there were, like, nobody in the arena. Understood it?

Many people were very confused. It was just basketball. They were so bad. Every time I play it, I'm confused. It was hard to shoot on camera. It was hard to sell, whatever. Who are these people? Where are these comments?

Can I thumb through them? No, this was a directive from sales. Oh. What could be simple, easy to follow? Knockout with people from the audience or something. I think the dunk contest off the trampoline. What if Kate Warren would be incredible? What if we had two teams relay race?

Because those are pretty easy to follow. Like layups? Yeah, where it's like you have to go in and out of cones and stuff. Or you have to do like a layup, a throw a three-pointer and a yeah yeah that would be pretty easy to follow we'll do something we'll be there okay i'm excited mark and brandon are doing something before and potentially during we are hosting the pre-game and the mid-game and all that what are we doing pre-game pre-game. Pre-game stuff? I think Nick and KB should try and record

an episode of Anus during the game. Yeah, we talked to... Mark pitched that to us. It would be funny if we recorded just an episode, no guests,

just us talking, but with the sounds of the game, and then the only audio would... The only video would be, like, from whenever we're caught in the background of the game. Or I can go up

to, like, the nosebleed. Oh, yeah, that'd oh yeah that'll be awesome catch that angle yeah yeah let's do that yeah my man so if you see us there recording don't fuck with us we're working come on what else we got going on? Hmm. I guess I'll be in Columbia forever. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Are you sharing a hotel room? Dude, probably. Yeah.

Sharing a bed. Yeah. That's what I heard. What is Steven doing on his off days? What is the best flavor filling in cake? What? Just cake. Chocolate?

What fruit skin is the best and worst to eat? What fruit skin? Skin. What fruit skin? What skin do you even eat? Apple. Peach. Mango.

You don't eat mango. You don't eat mango. Banana. Pineapple. What is he doing? Fruit skin. Is he dying? Peach, plum, pear.

Pear. What? Pear, yeah, you're right. Because it's so compact, it doesn't bother you. Pear might be right. What about cherry? Oh, if that counts, then cherry. Yeah.

Why wouldn't it? Is cherry even half skin? It does. Yeah, is that skin? I don't even know. I don't be knowing you guys halloween guys i'm not i am with kids it you're back to mix it wasn't for a long time yeah my son has brought up halloween every day for the last like three weeks i like consuming it yeah like i like the

idea i like watching people dress up seeing the pictures yeah but not participating i had to explain to him the concept of the fact that like we're gonna have candy and we're gonna give it out and then he can go and get candy from other places like i don't want to give our candy away he's like why don't it's like dad no no but you're gonna get more candy dad why don't you just buy the candy and we just don't participate we have this and we have it why are we getting away why don't we just stay at home and just it really is a great point yeah no he kind of had me i'm gonna buy this hundred dollars worth of candy put it in these bowls

and then we're gonna go try to find some candy yeah you're anti-halloween though i'm not anti halloween i just don't i don't i don't get into it really sounds it's a religious thing right you don't like i just never got into it are you a fun size bar house or a king size i think i'm gonna have to be you have to be you have to be a king-sized? I think I'm going to have to be. You have to be. What is a step above king-sized? Giving out money, I think. Well, I think what I'm going to do is...

The kids want the sugar. I'm going to do king-sized, and also I'm going to go to the casino and get a bunch of futures. Like $5 futures? Yeah. Oh, that's so awesome. That would be so sick, right? Some long shots. Oh, fuck.

I got the, you know. A six-year-old in a Buzz Lightyear costume. Yeah. Went to get the whole neighborhood addicted to gambling. Amazingly fun. Yeah. So I think that's what I'm going to do. I think I'm going to hand out futures.

Just get every NFL team. Dude, I got bills. For like $20 each. Plus $1,200. Yeah, and just hand them out. You're going to have like old men trick-or-treating at your house. Yeah, true. You'd also be like, skip that house.

You gave me Utah Jazz last year. I love handing out futures. Yeah, I'm going to do that. I used to do that for Thanksgiving. I used to get just like $200 of scratch tickets. Oh, yeah. I would give that out to everyone. Yeah, that's good. That's good.

That's fun. That's going to be like the next epidemic. Instead of like razors and the candy, it's going to be like, yeah, this guy got my son addicted to betting. Yeah, that's the only part. I have to probably not give it to the kids. Yeah. What are the bars that have like the pool tab things? What are those?

Pool tabs? I don't know what those are. Yeah, they're basically like little lottery tickets. Minnesota, Wisconsin has them. They're so much fun. I waste so much time. What is it? They're seeing pull tabs?

Yeah, it's mostly Wisconsin, Minnesota. It's like you can find a picture of them. It's basically like a slot. It looks like a slot machine, and then you pull it, and you can win. So you can buy them. They're like two bucks, and the bar has hundreds and hundreds of them. So it's just a lottery ticket. Yeah, but if you sit there and you just pull them,

and then if you win, you get the cash right away. I'm just confused as to how is this different than just buying scratchers. You don't have to scratch them, Titus. Oh, you pull them. I got it. You're sitting at the bar. That's fine. You seem to think they're buying scratchers at a gas station. You don't have to scratch them, Titus. Oh, you pull them. I got it. I got it. You're sitting at the bar. That's fine.

You seem to think they're like scratchers. Scratchers. You're not scratching anything. No, no, no. Because with a scratcher, you buy it, you scratch it. If you want money, you just hand it over and get the money. But this one, you don't scratch. This one, you don't.

Imagine you ask for a back scratch, and then I start pulling your back. Oh, wait. That's not the same. They're very fun. The bar we did the live show in Minnesota, Cowboy Jack's for the Super Bowl, I think I lost like a couple thousand dollars that week because I was just buying them.

It's also, Titus, it's a very like addicting, like you just rip them, put them in a bucket. You're almost like not even, you're not even looking at whether you want. Oh shit. I got a $10. And then you put it in the barrel. Just do it for four hours. Who, who's giving the money away?

Like who's sponsoring? The bar. Like the bar buys a bunch of pull tabs and I'm so stupid. I was like, if I buy all the pull tabs, I'll eventually be a winner. Right? So do you have to wait a second the bar has to make money in the bar yeah i don't want to narc on these bars but do you have to have like a gambling license to do this like because what i remember like my galaxy

brain idea when i was in junior high when i would go to like the high school football games and they do the 50 50 and i was like why don't i just do a 50-50 at school where I just sell tickets to kids in my class and then keep half of it and then give the other half to someone who wins? And then I was like, yeah, why don't people do that? Just like, why isn't there a Yak 50-50? But I'm sure there's like a gambling license, right? Yak 50-50? What are you stopping you from doing that on your own?

Well, I think people would find out and they'd be like, wait, are you giving this? Don't you have to have some sort of license to probably yeah and if you don't then why why do we as a company not do that feels like a very easy way to make a lot of money is just like i think it has to be right to an event and just do your own yeah it has to be because it's a charity thing yeah right it's 50 but they heavily regulate that like they don't you can't just start selling 50 50 tickets yes that's what i'm saying like Like, do these bars have to, like, jump through hoops, or is it just like – I think it's a state law thing. It's just like, fuck it, let's sell some tabs and hope we don't get caught.

Yeah, I had a friend who used to work for the Cubs, and he ran the 50-50, and I was like, huh? He was like, no, dude. He's like, you can't, no. Have you ever won a 50-50? No. What? Any type of sweepstakes? Dude, I won – No, dude, that can't, no. Have you ever won a 50-50? No. What? Any type of sweep?

Dude, I won. No, dude, that's the whole thing. I won one at a. I'm literally, if I win a 50-50, I might, depending on how big it is, I may be even for my life. I won one. I won one time at a high school football game in Ohio. Which high schools?

Hilliard-Darby. Do you know their mascot? Howard. He know their math oh yes i just i just came hilliard has two till you're on yeah um davidson darby was it yeah yeah uh and correct um and i i win and it was pointed out to me that one of my neighbors had a kid on the team. So like I was there to watch the kid, whatever. I'm just trying to be a part of the community. And as I win, they, they inform me that is customary at the school to like, just give them,

they're like, just give them money because all the money goes to like the athletic department or something. They're like, we don't actually keep the money. It's like all to, you know, it goes back to the kids. And I was like, I don't, yeah, if I would have known this, would have i would have bought the fucking ticket um so i gave half which i felt like what i feel like i gave half of the half yeah that's crazy but i also felt like i felt like i don't know i felt like larry i felt like larry david situation where like everyone's looking at me like do the right thing and i'm

like the right i won i won the fucking pot yeah i would have taken all of it i know it was it's difficult the same thing happened to will in the first Prince of Bel-Air. Oh, did it? Yeah. At the Toledo Bowling Green game this past year that we went to, I did the math and I owned 15% of the pot. That's a college Division I game. Yeah, I didn't win.

I had so many tickets. It was crazy. But if you think about how much money you spent. Yeah, you spent an absurd amount of money, right, on the pot? Yeah, yeah. You only bought a 15% chance to win. Right. Wow.

That's not great. Brandon, you should be like the Zach Hample of 50-50s where you just go to all these high school football games and you try to win at every high school football game. I'll do that. Because I'll win. Find the smallest pot of 50-50. Go to junior high volleyball matches.

15 bucks? Yeah, try to win 15 bucks. What happened to Will? He was at the country club and he had a friend, a little 10-year-old friend that was hanging out with him that wanted basketball shoes but couldn't afford them. Will was going to keep the money and Phil got mad. All he got mad is couldn't afford them so will was going to keep the money and phil got mad all he got mad as hell he was embarrassed that his

nephew was going to keep the money and turns out will was buying the kid basketball shoes so he could be the future of basketball yeah will was a decent kid but sometimes he would be misguided yeah but he figured it out i'm winning 50 50 one one time. I had one time there was like a bunch of dudes sitting behind me in the bleachers at a Cubs game, and they bought their tickets right after me, and they won. Right in my face. Is it still reading out a bunch of numbers? What do you mean? It's like sequential.

So they bought the winning ticket right after I bought my ticket. I don't like how you can tell immediately that you lost. Oh, instantly. Do they still do that? Yeah. They read the numbers out out and you have to match your... Yeah, they put it up on the Jumbotron in the seventh inning and, uh, yeah. I'll instantly be out. Like,

because it'll be like, nine, four, and I'll be like, I have $400 of tickets and I don't have a single nine. That's a brutal one. That one sucks. Someday. It's gonna be a great day. That one sucks. Someday. It's going to be a great day. Probably not, though.

No. Maybe. I mean, you sound like a quitter. I'm not a quitter. Sound like a quitter. I spent $200 on one just so I could tweet out that I did one like you, and I felt like an asshole when I lost. Yeah, it's very demoralizing.

Yeah. Because every time I'm like, this is the day. This is the day it's going to happen. I hate when the person who wins isn't happy enough. Yeah. Those crowded Wrigley games, what do they get up to? They're in, like, the 30s. The full pot or the half pot?

Yeah, the full pot. Maybe even 40s sometimes. The hockey game. Yep. The Canadian hockey games, like playoff, like Edmonton Oilers, those get up to like 300,000. Oh, my God. Those are insane.

We've got to go to a Canadian hockey game. I know. Yeah. I know. I want to go to hockey this year a lot. I have season tickets. I know. What?

The Blackhawks are going to be good. I know they got Bedard. They got the dude, yeah. But is it like the team's going to actually be good or is he just going to be putting up insane stats? It doesn't matter. He's our team of the future. Team of the future.

Have any of you been to a Canadian NHL game? No. I haven't been to Canada. Is it that much better? Is it a little better? Same? The Garden was pretty good in New York. I can't imagine being too much better.

Who has the craziest games? Like Toronto? On TV, Calgary's got crazy ones, right? Is it Calgary? No. Calgary's stadium looks so sick. They got the Saddle Dome, right? Yeah.

Edmonton. Yeah, I mean, they all go pretty crazy. Every hockey stadium north of St. Louis gets crazy in the playoffs. When you watch – if Phoenix were in the playoffs, it wouldn't look crazy. I guess Vegas looked crazy, though. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yo, that Spears has been looking crazy.

Oh, that is amazing. Oh, yeah. Wait, is there one in New York now? There's a Spear in New York? I don't think so. I think that's just Bloodwater. I thought there was a U2 concert. Where was that?

That was in Vegas. Oh, it's the MSG sphere. That's right. They're duplicating it and putting one in London. Yeah, I think it was, what, $400,000 to advertise for a week? I think it was like $50,000. I hit the 50-50. Are all the images that we see of the sphere online real?

Like, I saw one. Yeah, it seems fake fake i saw one today where the sphere was like a happy face like a yellow happy face i don't think it's all real yeah but it could be it would be easier for somebody to just like video like photoshop it to where it shows something that they're not really showing that i mean that is insane right the from the U2 concert did look insane. Yeah, that was high, and that's why I quit weed. KB, you having Molly flashbacks right now?

I would take Molly to just watch the video on YouTube. It's not a bad call. Yeah, this looks awesome. Imagine it. Imagine cold. This is just, it's a building what it's a sphere dude no before i mean the first couple of shots were just it's a building here's a concession stands the one where they're just somewhere out yeah yeah this was the one that would freak me the hell out. That'd be... I'm all in on that. Are there scheduled concerts for this?

Yeah, you do. Do they have any others? Who's next? They have this dude doing a life... Yak Live show? Yak Live. Oh, we should talk to them about it. In this... It's a giant mousetrap that snatches all of us. Is it interactive?

Like if we went wet on the wheel, would the whole place rain down, would the sphere rain down water? Because I would like that. It would be awesome. It's so wet. Joel Osteen needs to do something. Fill that thing up. Joel Osteen?

Yeah. Oh, the guy who didn't let anyone into his church? Mega church, man. Well, he just got Well, I mean, it was raining.

Yeah, it was raining. It was raining. Yeah, he bought the old Rockets. Compact Center, yeah. Which is such a fucking baller move to buy an NBA,

old NBA arena. Mm-hmm. How much fun that would be. But he bought that to do church in? Yeah. Yeah. For the Lord. Yeah, and that would be. But he bought that to do church in. Yeah. For the Lord. Yeah.

And that was the big thing because Houston was underwater and he. Was it Irene? Was it Irene? No, it was Harvey. Harvey. Harvey. Harvey. And yeah.

He actually barred up, like chained up his door. Yeah. He's like, no. Dude, people coming in there getting. Fucking arena. Stepping on a carpet and shit. We're a church, not a charity. There were fucking sharks on the interstate.

There were sharks on the interstate. That's a fact. Okay. We good? I think we're going to- I think we might take a break from student tomorrow. All right. And bring him back.

Just kind of ease, you know. Stu's like a pitcher that you don't want to overuse. Yeah, because he throws as hard as he can every pitch. Every pitch. Every pitch is 99%. What happens when Stu and Mincy talk to each other? Because those are the two people uniquely at this company that I think you could just say hello to and then just sit back and they just fucking create

Stu and Mincy. Mincy, I had a 30 minute conversation with Mincy when he was in Chicago. Didn't say a word to him. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. We were trying to discover like the least you could do. Yeah. I feel like Stu's that way too. Where you're just like, oh, what's up Stu? And then he just is like.

I want to put him and Mincy Just the two of them. Yeah. And see what happens. Oh, yeah. See what happens. Yeah. What would happen?

I don't know if that would work. Actually, we'll do that when we get to the new office. Chemically. We'll do a yak where we can sit there, but we can't speak. Yeah. Yeah. Just watch. I would like that.

Bring them both in, and then the audience would all know what's going on, which is like none of us are – no one's going to say a word. And then see how long you can go without anybody. One by one lead. I just – I got to go to this. It might end in fists, like a fight. No, it would end in Mintz just telling Stu his life story.

But I don't think Stu would take it. Oh, I bet he would. You think? Yeah. Mintz would win that. Yeah. Oh, I bet he would. You think? Yeah. The Mints would win that. Yeah. Okay. We'll see everyone tomorrow.

Yak. Hopefully I survive the night. For real. Good luck, brother. Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee Swap

It's the act It's the act See you tomorrow. Bye.