The Yak - Big Cat Goes Full Skorpion in the Studio | The Yak 12-2-22

Episode Date: December 2, 2022

But the sub shop is charging 20 bucks a sandwich!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. That bothers me that it's off. Yeah, we haven't fixed it yet. You want me to twist it for you?

Yeah, can you twist it just a little? You're going to mess up the camera. Hey, everyone. Friday. It is Friday, ain't it? No, other way, other way. Went the wrong way. What do you mean? You can spin the camera spins, right? All right, now spin. No, other way, other way. Went the wrong way. What do you mean?

They can spin the camera though. The camera spins, right? All right, now spin. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Boom. Oh, it's all fucked up. Get on his ass.

I fixed it. Hey, guys. Way to go, Sash. You did fix it. I'd like to start today's show by just clearing the air real quick. Oh, no. Aaron Rappel did not get duped. What?

Who thinks he got duped? A lot of people, but he didn't. Very clearly did not get duped. We're on the record. And he'll be fucked up if you said he did. Yeah, right. Didn't get duped. Hear it now, hear it forever.

There was no dupage. But you can see where people would think he did get duped. Hear it now, hear it forever. There was no dupage. But you can see where people would think he did get duped. Well, naturally, if someone has to declare they did not get duped online, usually that means they got duped, but this is not that case. How much do you enjoy every now and then when you and Dave just play volleyball with somebody on Twitter? It's rare. It's rare. I mean, just him giving us the I did not get duped tweet that's a wint

he just threw it up he just threw it up and he was just like all right what do you want i had a meeting at like 11 30 and i was like i'm gonna be if 10 minutes late like we got him he just gave it to me i have to i have to stay on twitter for 10 more minutes oh it's the best. It is the best. A lot of people have been duped online. Not him, but a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of other people. I've been duped.

Oh, yeah. Happens to the best of us. I think Mincy was struck by lightning. He loves Drew Brees. What did he say? He was just like, oh, my God, no. Oh, my God, no. You guys, like, when I saw the video.

I didn't see the video. You want to play the video? I actually, I'm not bullshitting because, you know, this all started because Revell was, like, way to helicopter in two hours later. I saw the video at 9 a.m. or whenever it was posted. I didn't even think twice about it because I was like, this is so clearly fake. Yeah. Who posted the video?

It was, like, it was in a Spanish account posted it initially. And, like, he's filming a video this is the video of him getting hit by lightning and the lightning's so fake so fake it's also fake oh my god like how could you think that was real i thought it was real you did not. Yeah. You wouldn't get duped. No, I don't get duped. You're like Ravel.

Never get duped. I've gotten duped a few times on Twitter. I don't know. If his hair stood up, I would maybe. Yeah. You know who's a big dupe guy? Spider. He gets duped hard. Does he?

Remember on the bus? He said Jack McCarthy Fasoli got pulled over driving from. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah pulled over driving from Toledo to northern Illinois. And Jack McCarthy told him that he got pulled over because Fasoli was putting his leg out the window to show another car his Viva tattoo. Spider got duped. And then like an hour later, Spider showed me a video of one of those like pranks where the body falls out of the bottom of a casket

and like rolls down a hill. Oh yeah, what's it called? Tim Robinson. I was like, Spider, what are you doing? That's one of the funniest

sketches ever. Off and drop. Yeah. You need one guy who just gets duped all the time. Yeah. You know,

the worst people are the anti-dupe people, the people who don't believe anything even if it might be real. That's true. Trying to tell you, oh, you got fooled. Always comment staged or something. Oh, you got trolled.

Will Smith slap. People who are like, that was staged. That drove me insane. That's a form of duping. Yeah, that's true. You're getting duped by reality. Yeah, you're right. Because you think it's staged, but it's real, so you've been duped.

It all circles back to dupe. Ravel did not get duped, just so everyone's clear. Yeah, I was going to say it's been a quiet year for Ravel. I mean, I just don't even pay attention to him anymore. What was his last thing? He's got a lot of Danny Boy Kane. A couple days ago he bet on an Iran. He bet on Iran against U.S.

I got duped last night. Did he? Yeah, he was like, it was a good bet. I duped myself in a bet on Iran. Bank trading card. You bet on Iran against U.S. I got duped last night. Did he? Yeah. He was like, it was a good bet. Huh. I duped myself in a bet last night. Tweeted out. I was like, my parlay finally is going to hit.

And then I didn't realize it was the fourth quarter and the over was 14 points away from me. What did you think it was? I wasn't watching the game because I was- You were in video game mode. No, I was in New Brunswick. Oh. And I got off and digs and davis had both scored which never happens so i was like oh this is actually gonna hit and then it was like i got home and it didn't hit shit i tweeted out that it was gonna hit and then i tweeted out the picks and then everyone was like dude this is

not gonna hit have you been betting every day? No. Every week? I usually only bet on the Patriots, the Bills, and the Eagles. Just those three teams? Yeah. Those are my teams. My big three. Those are three good ones to read for.

They're all pretty close. Yeah. Did you guys hear Stephen Che last night on the stream? I really wish he was here today. We were talking about I've offered Jersey Jerry a 100-year contract at $120,000 a year, and he has to sign over all of his bloodlines. So if he dies, his kids have to work for Barstow. Yeah. Great contract.

That's a good deal. Yeah. Including inflation. And Steven was like, dude, $120,000, that's going to be like a million dollars in 10 years. And he's like, and I was like, what are you talking about, Steven? He's like, inflation's crazy, man. Like the sub shop around the corner from my house is charging $20 a sub now. That's a scam. What to a million?

$120,000 will be a million dollars In 10 years You realize the opposite is 120,000 dollar contract in 10 years would be Oh with inflation if I bumped it with inflation Oh I see okay You thought it was going to be 10x That would be crazy

But his basis for inflation is the sub shop Yes He really is the dumbest smart person I've ever met. That's a compliment. His smartness, I would say I don't mean this as an insult. What makes him smart? Oh, God.

What makes him smart? Sometimes the way he talks. Glasses? Glasses. He's Asian. He's Asian. Glasses. He reads the fine print. He studies up on things so he knows information about the film. Does film study. Glasses. He's Asian. He's Asian. Glasses. He reads the fine print. He studies up on things. So he knows information about the- Does film studies.

Organized. Film studies smart. Organized. Actually, that's what it is. That's what he's organized. Organized people can cosplay as smart. He's on time. He's-

If you ever met a really organized person, you're like, that person's got their shit together. Yeah. It might be dumb. They're just organized. And he can do organizational things. He can do Excel. He can do all that stuff. just organized. And he can do organizational things like he can do Excel, he can do all that stuff.

Holy shit. Sends Google Calendar links. That's your organization. That's the answer. That's the ticket. So if you're a dumb person and you want to seem smart, get glasses

and be organized. Become Asian. That too. That certainly helps, yeah. Fuck, organization. I'm so unorganized. Oh yeah. Yeah, me too. Something's been happening in my brain. I wouldn so unorganized. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too.

Something's been happening in my brain. I wouldn't even know where to start. My ginkgo root isn't working because it was supposed to. My memory is shot. What do you mean? I don't know what I'm doing next week. I don't know what I'm doing. People will ask me.

Well, this is also the time of year where it's a wash. Yeah. These weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas have just become a blur. Yeah. No, it's like nothing that happens in these four weeks matters. Right. It's a complete wash in your brain. Good.

Yeah, you're all right. Don't worry about it. I'm not good. You're good. Something is very wrong with you. I got up at, like, 6 a.m. this morning because I thought my friend and his wife were coming to visit, and it's just next week. Were you, like, standing at the door? What do what do you mean they're gonna be here any second you went did you go downstairs uh no no i was just waiting and i was like it's weird they haven't texted me at all and then you texted him

i called him what'd he say yeah he was like what are you talking about it's next week oh man but yeah gotta get on the alpha brain i gotta get on the AlphaBrain. I have Ginkgo. Ginkgo. That's probably what I need. Is Lion's Mane and AlphaBrain the same thing? Lion's Mane's mushrooms, so I don't know what your shit is, but I take... AlphaBrain is like what Joe Rogan always talks about, and I

found it in Whole Foods the other day, and I was like, it was $90. I was like, absolutely not. I might need it. 90? I'm fucked. I was like, absolutely not. I might need it. 90? I'm fucked. It is like 90 capsules. So just a pill you take?

Yeah. Once a day or? Alpha's your brand. I'll do it, Brandon. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. Yeah, no, I know that ask. For the audience.

That ask was like, oh, you could just become. What's the regimen? Awesome. Yeah, that thesis shit I was talking about, that doesn't work. I got $90.

I think I was just listening to a song I liked when I took it. Yeah. I've been taking it every day. Nothing. I'll make you feel great. Nothing, yeah. My apartment, I've had stinky water for like the past week.

Oh, yeah. I've been going up to shower at my dad's, brush my teeth with bottled water. How far away is your dad's? He's in Hell's Kitchen. It's very far. In Fidei. You go up to brush your teeth? No, I brush my teeth with bottled water. How far away is your dad's? He's in Hell's Kitchen. Very far. You go up to brush your teeth? No, I brush my teeth with bottled water

at my house. I'll shower after work at my dad's and go home. There was a sign. They were like, hey, we know our water stinks. It's because of like we got a new water tank for the building and it's lumber. So it's fine to shower in and it's fine to brush your teeth with, but it just stinks and tastes bad.

So I showered this morning and I just smell like hamster bedding. Wait, so that's it? It's just always going to stink? He said for the next four weeks. What? That's a weird explanation too. I smell like hamster bedding. You do? Yeah. Fresh. It's not a terrible smell.

Oh man, Nick. It's not bad right now. The water is real cloudy. It's strange. It's a bummer. That is a bummer. That's not... The shower, the point of the shower is to not stink. Yeah, the entire point of the shower.

Yeah. Really? I feel like the entire point of the shower is just to wake yourself up in the morning. Jesus Christ. Totally smell. What if you take a shower at the end of the day, though? No, it doesn't work for me. I have to shower. If I don't shower in the morning, I'll. Totally smell. What if you take a shower at the end of the day though? No, it doesn't work for me. I have to shower.

If I don't shower in the morning I'll feel disgusting. I take both. I do both. I do both too. Like I won't be able to wake up. I take sometimes three showers. Does that mean you go up to

you were going up to your dad's twice a day? Oh no, back when I had non-stinky water. Now I've been like showering every other day. Oh no. You should get a

cheap gym membership. Get like a Blink membership and then just go to the gym and shower. That's a good cheat right there. Are they private baths? Are they private showers? You should shower here. Yeah, what about here?

I guess I could shower here. No, we don't want to shower in that. I showered here. Do do what? We've all showered. Yeah. I've showered in KB's poop. That's going to be stinky.

Stinky, yeah. It might be stinkier than your place. Smelly water. Well, that's not a very good sentence. What is causing my water smelly did a two-year-old write this what does my water smelly like what's causing my water smelly oh shit um did you guys see liver king apologized no No. Started the apology. It was a very... Can we watch it?

It was like doing it for... Did he rape suicide? And he said, I have mental health issues and I got all this. That's smart. That's smart. He has mental health issues because he's taking $12,000 steroids. Yeah, that probably... Definitely not good for the...

I fucked up. Did he fart again? It sounded like that. It can be. You didn't fuck up. What? Holy shit. He has a YouTube video, TJ. He must have opted for the steroids.

His voice is just... You can't just say, I fucked up. You've done it every day for the last... Forever. I was reading the comments and literally all of them are like it's okay liver king you still have changed my life for the better like no one cares that's the treatment lance armstrong got when he did steroids it's no i'm making this video to apologize because i fucked up because I'm embarrassed and ashamed,

because I lied, and I misled a lot of people. I've stated that this is a complicated as fuck topic, at least to me it is, because before social media, I was rich and anonymous, and after social media, I'm still rich,

but no longer anonymous, and I never expected this kind of exposure. Wait, he's going to blame it on being. Yes, he does. The best part is I asked him, I was like, you're talking about PEDs when he came in. And I was like, yeah, all I do is wind stroll. And he's like, I don't even know what that is. That's nuts. He just went on every podcast being like, all natural, all natural, all natural.

I didn't know he was rich before this. There's so many clips of him being like, never touch this stuff, never would. Yeah. Ugh. But Kate's right. I don't think it matters. It doesn't matter. It's not going to matter at all.

It doesn't matter at all. It's in the bank. Yeah. What's going to happen to him? Yeah. Well, you will. How is he making money before? He's going to die soon. He's selling supplements. Supplement company. Yeah. What's going to happen to him? Yeah. Well, you will. How is he making money before? He's going to die soon.

Supplements. Supplement company. Supplement empire of some sort. And he's just the marketing tool for it. His wife released a video of them walking, holding hands. And it's like, loyalty is the main tenet of liver king life. Like, whatever. I think if they put out a t-shirt tomorrow, it would, like, sell out.

Like, I think that's, I think this, like, even helped them in tomorrow it would sell out. I think this even helped them in a weird way. Yeah, probably. You're probably right. It definitely is more people that have found out about them. Yeah. And they're fascinating. I still want to look at them. I still want to see what they're up to. It's like the weird twins I follow.

Curious. Do you think he maintains the steroid regimen now? Has to. Can you cold turkey? I don't think you can. He probably ups it. You can't. Curious. Do you think he maintains the steroid regimen now? Has to. Can you cold turkey? I don't think you can. He probably ups it. You can't. There's no reason. You go on board.

People never know. You've seen the program. Yeah. Okay. You go off it. Seat at the table. He said the amount he's doing is safe because he's going to a clinician. Oh, okay.

Why wouldn't we believe him? His kidney probably looks like a beach ball. He takes a bunch of shit for his kidneys and stuff. Okay, his liver then. And his liver. His spleen. I don't know about the spleen. You don't know.

His spleen might be in trouble. You would know that if you watched the full hour video. I would probably. Taking all sorts of supplements. There's a lot of organs in there that are probably fucked up. Yes, yes, definitely. Oh, he's going to die. He's going to die.

He's no different than a wrestler. No. He's going to die. He's going to die. He's no different than like a wrestler. No. He's going to die in like three years. Yeah. Oh, man. And it's going to be... Man. Liver King.

The legend. How old is he now? 26, right? Yeah, 26. We decided yesterday. Is there pictures of him like before? He looked good. Oh, yeah.

Before he was even famous, he was already fun. He looked good, yeah. He was like a normal Jack guy. Yeah. I don't even know if I would say normal. He was already big, yeah. Hey, is my girl good? Yes.

Okay, all right. Mm-hmm. Gotta go check on her every now and then. I'll say it. A delight. What? Big Cat did a cool thing this morning. Oh, yeah.

Brandon did an uncool thing. Big Cat did a cool thing this morning. Oh, yeah. Brandon did an uncool thing. Brandon tried to uncool thing my cool thing. So I brought my 14-year-old. She turned 14 this week. It's her birthday. And her birthday present was she got to miss school today and come to the city with me, and we're going to go out for a daddy-daughter day today.

So she's sitting over at my desk right now. Big Cat gave her $100 for her birthday. You were like, Big Cat, it's her birthday. Give her $100. I was trying to put him on the spot. I was like, no problem. Not a problem. And I did. And then Brandon was like, no, you can't do this. I was like, yeah, I can. You're making me look bad now. And then I heard the cutest, Daddy, is

this real? And then Brandon was just like, yeah, it's real. When you put me on the spot, I had to man up. I'm going to get her my bike. Can I go do it now? I'm trying to give the bike to everyone. No, no, no. She's not going to give it to her.

So you're stuck with the bike I gave you? My bike's still here. It's going to cause a fire. Yeah. It's such a great thing in theory. I know. In theory, that electric bike rules. I had some good times on it.

I just can't keep it up. You might be the biggest phase guy in the world. Oh, I am also a big phase guy. Oh, yeah, you're a big phase guy. One phase guy passing to another. I want to live the same life every day for the rest of my life. You're the worst combination. You're a phase guy with money.

Yeah, that's bad. I have a $5,000 rower in my house that I've never used. That's the best phase guy, I feel like. That's who I want to be. Kyle's phases start as a joke. You started the family guy joke yesterday.

No, opposite. You now, already. Other people perceive my phases as jokes, so I just get stuck in this loop where I have to run with it being a joke, even though it's not a joke. Look at that shirt.

Great shirt. I couldn't get a solo Peter. I had like triple X. Triple XL, I almost got a Peter. Where'd you get it? I had to search. Wait, did you go in person to a vintage shop

because those just yeah a nice shirt yeah I had to go did you go to the real expensive one you went to L.A. is that a $200 shirt

copy yeah it definitely is it definitely is no it's not yesterday today when did you get that today

on my way here wait so you went to Metropolis no yeah you definitely did those are like they're the only store that has a family guy section today on my way here. Wait, so you went to Metropolis? No. Yeah, you definitely did. Those are like... They're the only store that has a Family Guy section.

They have a whole section. I almost got you guys stuck. Metropolis. They were like, man, I would have wanted one. That place is outrageous. We went there, and they were like $30 a t-shirt. And then the day after, Pete Davidson went. A$AP Rocky.

A$AP Rocky went. Yeah. And then all the shirts were $400. The Family Guy, these were dirt cheap. Hell. Remember we saw the Kramer shirt and it was like $400? Wow. How?

I don't know. Good shirts there, though. Really good store. Is that just one place or is there a bunch of them? It's one place. I think there's two. I think there might be one in Brooklyn. Stop.

You're already going to start taking an awful brain. You don't need to look like a teenager, too. You got good T's there, Brandon. I do have good T's. He's right. He's right. I'm going to copy the man. Brandon's going to come in without going a mile a minute with Family Guy shirts on.

No, you're right. I was the T-shirt guy for a while. You were. You were. I still think of you as the T-shirt guy. I just haven't done it in about six months. It's winter. This is the all-time best thumbnail I've ever done. The house is the

house. House is the house. Oh, I didn't even realize. Holy shit. I didn't notice that either. The house is the house. Wait, can we put that t-shirt out? We should. I think it would be a cooler poster or print. Jack and the family guy fawn i

would want that of course you would i think they kind of nailed the characters too yeah poor ron he's just been on this island for so long oh yeah i forgot wrong yeah i think they did nail the characters who's steven uh the pirate that doesn't have any arms or legs. Seamus. Seamus, yeah. Okay. Fucking Steven. The guy's brain is just... $20 subs. $20 subs, $1 million. That is crazy, though.

$20 subs is outrageous. You can't spend $20 for a sub sandwich. Steven, though. He's just a special, special brain. Special person. Where's he at? Not smart. He is smart.

Organized. Organized and dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Two adjectives to describe him. I think organized is probably a category we need to start calling people. Instead of just smart or just dumb. It really is.

Remember back in school, the people who took the best notes and had the best folders? Were actually dumb. They were just good at studying. They studied well and they got good grades. You got to put covers

on their books. They were clueless and obligated. They checked all the boxes. They got the 4.0. Some people that had that, like the notebook and the agenda, like all that shit,

they were some of the dumbest people I've ever met. I don't know if you guys were this person, but I was every year starting fresh. I'm going to be that person.

Like a week. It would fall apart so fast. So many empty planners. This is this and this is this. I'm going to take my notes here. I'm going to put my other stuff here. I got the pencils and the pens. Boom. One week. That's how I am with my

room. Cleaning my apartment when I get to move into a new place. Oh yeah. I'm like this is a clean place now. I'm a clean guy. Oh always in my head. Yeah. Oh this is going to be different. I'm going to start doing stuff different. And then you get home late one night and you don't you don't put the clothes in the in the in the hamper. It's over. It's over. It's done.

And then you gets to the point where it's just you wait to move. Yeah. I move in like nine months. That's not too long. It really is. You just are or you aren't. Like I know some people,

I have friends who like fold all of their t-shirts and have them all like displayed. I'm jealous of them. It just stresses me out. I wish I was like that. No. You don't?

Folding and unfolding. Getting home and just taking your pants off and just leaving them on the floor is the best feeling. Yep. Yeah, just throwing them. Just throw them anywhere. You don't give a fuck where they go. You know what I have in my closet? I have a coat rack.

That's where I hang my pants. Oh, yeah. I keep everything on a hanger. Yeah. Just hang them up because they're right in front of you I don't have a dresser My dream is to have just a big room Just with one large

Waist level shelf Just have everything out That's cool Just strewn about Like your office A little more folded So you just see everything You don't have to fold anything.

Just walk down an aisle. I want that. I want that. Okay, cool. Are you going to have an office in Chicago? Office? Yeah. No.

No? No. I'm not. You should. No. Get a big old office. No. I'm not.

Why? Because you like being out with office? No. I'm not. Why? Because you like being out with everyone? Yeah. Yeah, makes sense. Where are you going to fire people? That will happen in the alley in the back. We actually have a firing alley.

Yeah, that's, yeah. It's a gun range. We could just have a room for firing. Yeah, no, I've thought about it. I do not want an office. I'm going to build one for Dave, though. Just being like, feel the dreams about it. I do not want an office. I'm going to build one for Dave, though. It's been like Field of Dreams. Yeah. It's ice ice.

He'll have the only office, and he'll just never come. Yeah. He'll have one. Yeah, a firing alley. That would be good. Just a long alley that you just have to walk down. You should have some sort of slide. Yeah, there's a hole in the bottom.

The firing slide. Yeah, because you're getting fired, but you've got to smile. Yeah, there's a hole in the bottom. The firing slide. Yeah, because you're getting fired, but you've got to smile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've got to get out of there quick. Have you ever been to a bar with a slide? No. Oh, yes, I have. I went to one in Austin, actually.

But the wall at the end of the slide was so close, people were slamming into it. I was just watching the whole time. After that baseball guy, that reporter went down the slide and fucked his whole body up. I think I'm out on slides for a while. We went to Clemson. It was actually perfect. Brandon's luck. We did a tour of the facility, and there's this huge slide in the middle of the facility.

I just went down it, and then Brandon tried to go down it, and everyone started screaming, like, stop, stop, stop. That slide's not for you. What? Remember the Clemson slide, Brandon? Yeah, I remember that. Wait, why? I just did it.

Like, I didn't ask. I did it. And then everyone looked and like, whoa, that's for recruits only. This guy caught me. And Brandon got it. And the most emasculating move ever, like, he had to get off the slide. No, but you told me, all right, this guy stops me and says, do not get on that slide. You can't get on the slide. And then Big Cat says, Brandon, it off the slide. No, but you told me, all right, this guy stops me and says, do not get on that slide.

You can't get on the slide. And then Big Cat says, Brandon, it's a slide. And I could just get away. Yeah, right. I was like, just slide down. You didn't do anything. I did. I ended up doing that.

Yeah, that's right. You did end up doing it. That's supposed to be like a cool thing that the recruits have to go down the sliding board? Yeah. I need to see the cool slide. It's very stupid. That's dumb.

He was very mad. Swings are 1 trillion percent better than slides. Oh, yeah. Look at this. Yeah, here comes the slide. It's very stupid. It's dumb. He was very mad. Swings are one trillion percent better than a slide. Oh, yeah. Look at this. Here comes the slide. There's the slide. No big deal. Yeah, I was like, Brandon, you literally can just get away from it right now by sliding

it up. He stopped me at the top of the slide right there. He stopped me. Oh, you can't make that noise. That is one of those things that they plan out in a building. They're like, and we'll have a slide. What the fuck speaking of we're gonna have anything like a slide chicago oh that's why i came up and slide ironman's pole one hole mini golf course whoa hey really good really good trampoline like that in a gym

we'll die on a trampoline i I know. I can't wait. I wouldn't mind. Why don't we have a Jim here? I don't know. We had that one. We had the whoop one for a minute. I know. Brandon almost died in it.

Yeah. I remember having to go do that, having to go film that. I didn't say that. I was just looking at you. You would like to bring that up. You would have been better off. Yeah, you're right. If I died?

What did you do? I tried to run a mile in under about.36. Okay. And then it was so bad that Nick came up to me after. He was legitimately worried. Nick has never been a bigger pussy in his life. He came up to me, and he was like, I don't think we can run that footage. I was like, why not?

I felt bad. That's how bad he looked. Yeah. Yeah, I'm all for bullying. That was back when I wasn't. I wasn't bullying. He said he could run it. I know, I know. I just knew the.

Also, y'all let me off when I said I had to get off. Yeah. You didn't force me to do it. Then Che came in as a hero. Don't worry, buddy. I'll finish it off when I said I had to get off. Yeah. You didn't force me to do it. Then Jay came in as a hero. Don't worry, buddy. I'll finish it off. Yeah. I got you.

Do this together. Like it was a paper route or something. Organized. It does actually feel good knowing that he's organized. He's not smart. Yeah. I just walked over there. Have y'all seen my daughter cleaning my desk?

She organized the shit out of it. But she's actually smart. She's actually smart. It's the cleanest thing. I clean it once or twice, once every month or so, and it's the most organized thing I've ever seen.

I can't sit there anymore. Where'd she learn that from? I have no idea. Do you want to clean mine? There's probably more money on it. For a hundred more dollars, I'll get her to clean yours right now. If you clean my desk,

I guarantee you'll find that. I would take her all afternoon. Cash is strewn about like an idiot. Should we play some? Oh, I forgot. Oregon Trail. Oregon Trail. I'm down.

Let's do that. I got to leave it, too. Oh, well, that. I'm taking her for her birthday. That's right. What are you buying? What do we have? Do we have the new one is in depth.

Should we just play the old one? The new one might be a 12-hour show activity. Okay. I think it's like a five-hour story if we win. We want to try to do the five-hour story? I think it's like between three and five. I would like to see what it's like. The let's plays I've looked at are between three and five hours.

We could just get a little taste. Do you want to do a taste of the new one? Does it have saves? I don't know. We can do it once a Friday. We can do it every Friday. That would be fun, to do a taste of the new one? Does it have saves? I don't know. We can do it once a Friday. We can do it every Friday. That would be fun, but we could either do the new one or we could do an old one and complete it. I'd rather do a new one if it has saves.

Yeah, it definitely does. No one has the time to run through hours at a time. All right. Roback. Use code YAK on roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week. See these right here? Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week. See these right here? Roback joggers, my favorite joggers. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

20% off all polos, Q-Zips, hoodies with code YAK. Roback joggers are here. It's time to hop on board. Go to Roback.com. Use code YAK. 20% off the best Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, everything, and the joggers. The joggers are the most comfortable thing. I put them on on Friday.

I've got a few different pairs. I wear them all weekend. Rowback joggers. They are the absolute best. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. 20% off all polos, Q-Zips, hoodies. Code YAK. Rowback joggers are here.

It's time to hop on board with Rowback. And I'm going to keep saying Rowback because now I do the ads for a whole minute. Roback.com, promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. The joggers, which I don't know if I've mentioned, I'm wearing right now. Yeah, yeah. Super comfortable. And I wear them all the time, all weekend long.

Roback.com, promo code YAK. Perfect timing. Roback. That code YAK. Perfect timing. Growback. That was great timing. Perfect timing. Growback. We should probably spin the wheel, too. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, let's spin the wheel. I brought that giant fly in here. It's under that hat. I brought the giant fly in? I know. That thing is huge. Yeah. You brought it and put it.

I don't know. I was sitting at my desk and this fly that is massive. Why'd you bring it in? I don't know why I did. It is so big. It was so big is why I brought it in here. It's like chunk. Ready?

Because I like shouted out to everyone. I was like, holy shit, look at this fly. And Big Cat was like, oh, you're talking about the giant fly? It's so slow. It's so big. Oh, God, is it gone? It's so slow. It's so big. Oh, God. Is it gone? It's not in there. Wait, sorry.

I'm sorry to anyone listening. Oh, it's gone. Oh, fuck. Uh-oh. Wait, what? It was huge. Where is it? I don't know.

Is it chilling somewhere? I had my eyes on. Are you serious? It was like the size of a pinto bean. It was in there? Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

He's in bad shape. Oh, Kate heard it. I didn't hear it. I suffocated him. I think he's like so big he's at the end of his... Now that he can't fly, what's he called? This is depressing that I... Scorpion! No! No!

God damn it! Come on! Come on! Fucking wingspeed! What the fuck? Oh. He's in his ass. What do you think about that, Kay? I think we had company.

What? What? What? Let's see if it's survived. No! Let's see if it's survived. It's going to be mashed up under there. Oh, what if it's still alive? Oh, it's survived. See if it's survived. It's going to be mashed up under there. What if it's still alive?

There's no stain on it. No, God damn it. That's probably for the best because if it was still alive. And it probably just had a family. See if it's still alive? It still might be. Hey, go look. Go look.

Kate, why'd you bring me in here? You ever got a lighter? Oh, my God. I was so close to just living out a full life. Well, look, Kate. Well, look. Oh, man. I was 37 years old.

I really didn't see that coming. You're dying? I didn't think it was going to go scorpion. What was the outcome you thought was going to happen? I didn't think Big Cat was going years old. I really didn't see that coming. You're dying? I didn't think it was going to go scorpion. I didn't think Big Cat was going to go. I thought it was going to fly around. I fucked that fly around. It was going to be our pet fly. Yeah, I thought it was going to be fun.

How long do you think you could keep a fly? How long do you think you could... What is the maximum... What's the maximum amount of time that a fly can live? It's like 36 hours. I'm not going to look. Not long at all. You should hold it up to the camera.

I don't know what's on the other side of the paper. It's definitely a dead fly. I squished him so bad. Oh, gosh. Oh, he's still moving. Are you serious? Yeah. That's me moving it.

Oh, oh. No, I'm moving the shape. Oh, he's moving. He's moving. God damn. He maintained his shape, though. He really did. I thought I was going to be splattered.

I thought he was going to explode. Do you want to say something? For the fly? I'm sorry that happened to you. I shouldn't have brought you in here. It's your fault. It is your fault. It is my fault.

You brought a fly in front of me. I was going to kill that thing. I like how we're acting like there was just one. There's definitely dozens of these flies. No, no. It was a fat ass fly. There's never just one fly. I saw it.

It was fat. It was the size of a bumblebee over there when it was alive. There's others. I haven't seen them. I'm going to be honest. That's a completely normal size fly. Regular size. No, no, no, no.

That's a big fly. You squished the juice out of it or something. I squished all of it. That's a big fly. You squished the juice out of it or something. I squished all of it. That's a big fly. It was the size of a bumblebee. I have bugs over at my desk. It made me exclaim. Holy shit, look at the size of this fly.

Big Cat knew exactly which fly I was talking about because it's been hanging out over there. Those ones are the ones that get in your room when they are loud. He's been here all week. Should we spin to see who has to eat it? Yeah. Oh, no.

Jack Mac on the wheel? Not eat the bugs. I feel like a monster right now. I feel great. Don't fuck with me. You want to kill something else? You saw what I did? Are you stepping to me?

You saw what I did? I'll put you under a piece of paper and stomp you out. It was exhilarating. You saw what I did? Are you bloodthirsty? Are you stepping to me? You saw what I did? Go find things for Big Catch 2. Put you under a piece of paper and stomp you out. It was exhilarating. I do feel bad. A little out of breath. Yeah, you've been silent. Yeah, I'm working there.

What did you say? We had company. Are you sick? I'm just kind of out of it i'm sick i felt sick yesterday i think everyone's probably sick i i slept for eight hours on wednesday and i was like oh maybe i was sick six hours six to eight yeah whatever yeah my my kids are just won't stop throwing up in the middle of the night my son has been getting up last three nights at like three in the morning and just is up. That's it.

Yeah. And I'm like a zombie. Everyone's sick. And then you get sick because you're so tired. It's like there's no. I didn't fall asleep until four o'clock last night. Damn. Doing what?

I was on my. I was on my. I was on my second puke duty then. Damn. It actually is really funny. Like toddlers throwing up. They just because they obviously don't know that they have to, like, go to a toilet. So, like, my son downstairs today in the kitchen just started everywhere.

Like when Stewie got the. It was just like, there's nothing you can do about it. He's just going to throw up everywhere. Are they sick? Yeah. I think there's a, like, both my daughter and son have just been throwing up. Toddlers vomiting don't ruin their day like it ruins ours. No, no.

He just goes, I feel better. Throw up. Yeah. He was like. I would get COVID. I'd rather get COVID 15 times back to back than get stomach bug. He was like, I'm going to tell my teachers I threw up. And I was like, buddy, you're not going to school.

Yeah. He was like, yeah, I'm going to tell my teachers. No, you aren't. Fucking idiot. Yeah. You just threw up. Oh, man. All right, should we spin the wheel?

Is the wheel getting buffed out to fly? Yeah. Yes, I am. I keep checking to make sure it's not moving. Can we check the World Cup tracker real quick? Oh, yeah. A huge day for me yesterday with Japan and Costa Rica. He had four goals yesterday. Thank God. Oh, wow. Yep. Kyle, me yesterday with Japan and Costa Rica. He had four goals yesterday.

Thank God. Wow. Kyle, you're not out of the woods. Of course, you'd only have to go to Wales, I think. That'd be great. That would not be great. Where's Wales? The top of England?

Yeah. It's an appendage of England. Southwest. Southwest is in trouble. Oh, I guess. Yeah, Zaha might be fucked. Going to Wales would suck. It's like going to the UK.

It's not like going to Iran or Serbia. You can't. You can't. We should make that. I know this is post, but you can't go to other countries after. You would not rather go to Iran. Is that what you're about to say? Don't you agree?

Probably not rather, but. You can't go to Wales and then like go hop around Europe. What's the biggest city in Wales? Swansea. Swansea. That's the soccer team. They're big into heroin. Wait.

How are they? For that rule, can I go to Qatar and then go home? But I'm saying, like, you can't go to Wales for a day and then be like, now I'm going to England. You've got to stay in Qatar a couple days, man. You can't just connect. I am staying a day. Okay.

How long? A day. You've't just connect. I am staying a day. Okay. How long? A day. You got to get out of the airport. I do get out there. Okay. All right. 15 hours into a hotel. It's basically if Brazil scores three, Rona's good.

I rent. Rona's done. Is Rona out? Yeah. I think all of our teams are going to be done. They're gone. Oh, no. Cameroon's out. Except it was Cameroon. I think all of his teams are going to be done. Oh, no. Cameroon's out?

Except, is Cameroon up against them? No, I think they're all out. Cameroon's playing right now. It's 20 minutes. What's their game against? Cameroon Brazil is playing right now. Oh, jeez. So Cameroon has to somehow win.

Which they're not going to. Roan's going. Roan's fucked. Well, no. Zaha has to score the goals to go catch him. Yeah, because Zaha loses the tiebreaker. So Zaha has to get the nine goals. But then I'm through.

Brazil's through to the next round. Wait, no, no, no, no. He's, wait. They got to win when they get, they got to score when they get to the next round. Like, it's no guarantee they're going to score. That is true. He's fucked. Oh, Che passed up Sass?

But again, the top of the table doesn't matter. Oh, yeah, he's so fucked. My little team's just... God bless them. I also have no teams out yet. Damn. I didn't know you had a game like that, bro. What was the result we had that the second place and then second to last?

Switzerland will be out in a minute. They play today, but they'll be out, right? Did they make a punishment for second to last? Never made one. Oh, no, it wasn't. Scroll down to the notes. Did this guy? He knows better than us.

What was it? It was something. I can't remember. Switzerland plays Serbia at two. Is Serbia good? That's my team, and yeah, they're pretty good. Yeah. Oh, they're really good.

Is Switzerland going to beat them? Yeah, I think they're pretty good. Yeah, yes. Now? I think so. He's saying now. I don't think Switzerland's good, are they?

All right, good luck to Cameroon. Serbia's tall. Roan's fucked. Roan's fucked. I do not feel bad. The narrative is already out there that he just won't go to Iran Well I mean We can't let him grinder himself

We might need to give him a backup country He's got two other countries Cameroon and I'm going to push back on that first sentence What? I think we can let him grinder himself You know what? It would be good for the show.

If Roan got caught up in an international incident. Was just gone for years. He can't go. Oh, he can. He will. What are the surrounding countries? We already looked at it. It's like Iraq, Afghanistan.

Jordan over there? Maybe. He's in the best spot. Are you really not allowed to go what would we settle for i'd settle for kyrgyzstan well that's like the that's like the worst place you could go oh really very corrupt um i'm not allowed in public it's all made of marble what about the turkmen we just moved to his other teams like Cameroon? What about UAE? And then could he do a boat ride? Oh, UAE's too nice, right?

No, but like, okay, then maybe Riyadh. I don't know. Maybe. How do you say that, Kyle? What if he had to fly? What if he had to go to. What if he had to fly to Georgia and go from Georgia to Georgia? Oh, fuck him.

Let's send him to Iran. Oh, yeah. Georgia to Georgia. They got a direct flight. We to Iran. Oh, yeah. Georgia to Georgia. They got a direct flight? We are going against the wheel here. I mean, the wheel chose. Oh, I think he should have to go to Iran. Roan's a smart guy.

He can figure it out. He is a smart guy. He's very good with accents. He can have Iranian down. He'll figure this out. I have full faith in him figuring this out. He might just go be, like, part of their government. And who does he have left? He has Senegal? No, that's me.

Cameroon. So if Cameroon scores a couple goals, will he be in a better chance? He'd be in a better place, yeah. He would need... We'll back up. Let me look at it real quick. Zod's not safe here. Correct. Brazil needs to score a three for him to get safe. Kyle has one good thing

going for him. In the Netherlands, USA play each other, so somebody's... There will be a goal in there. Kate's not totally safe either. I feel pretty safe. If Serbia doesn't score today, Japan doesn't score in their next game. I don't think Cameroon's scoring more than two goals. Yeah, you need Cameroon to score. If Cameroon scores like four goals, he has a chance.

It's not over yet, by any means. For the bottom 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Wow. Now we gotta start focusing soon. Does he win the tiebreaker or no? Who could win it? Who? Roan. Yeah, he wins it

against pretty much everyone. He loses to Kate. He loses to Kate. Wow. Who's gonna win this tournament? Brazil? No, no, no. Pretend Brazil's not to Kate. He loses to Kate. Wow. Who's going to win this tournament? Brazil. No, no, no. Pretend Brazil's not your team and they don't exist. Who do you think could win this tournament? Brazil.

Okay. Other than Brazil, who could win this tournament? That'd be Brazil. England. France. I don't think so. I think Southgate will. France.

France might be in with a shot. Spain. Spain's looking pretty good. They're keeping the ball. I don't want to give the money to Argentina. Who's got France? Fuck. Argentina, too.

Yep, Argentina's woken up since their first game. Who's got France? I can't write it out. Big Cat. I have France. SAS has England. I have U.S. We can win.

You got Netherlands. They could win. Over the U.S.? Well, I hope not.S. We can win. You got Netherlands. They could win. Over the U.S.? Well, I hope not. Come on. Who the fuck are you rooting for, Brandon? You sound like Sam Elliott, Rand. Yeah.

Sam Elliott? That's what he sounded like when he deepened his voice right there. I'm going to throw the fly away. It's bothering me. You're the one that did it. I guess I'm a pussy. Kate did it. You can't face me.

Shouldn't have brought you here. Oh, God. I knew they wouldn't understand you. Be ashamed, Kate. You look at that fly, Kate. Is it on there? Yeah, it's right there. It's on your desk.

I'm just not going to look. Is it still there? Yeah, it's right there. It's on your desk. I'm just not going to look. Is it still there? Yeah, it's right there. Why won't you look at it? I'm not going to look at it. That's why I had a family. Probably. Probably had 10,000 kids.

I will remember. In fifth grade, I got to bring the class cocoons home for the weekend. You know, you get turns. People got to take them home. And I was so excited. And then on Sunday, it started to crack open a little. And I was really excited. And this little thing came down on like a goo string.

And I was like, that's not a butterfly. And it was a fly larva that had gotten in there, eaten the body of the cocoon thing. So then I had to come back into class with like a fly buzzing around in a half- the cocoon thing. And then it was just, so then I had to bring, come back into class with like a fly buzzing around in a half open Pepsi can thing. And then I was the kid who like killed the cocoon.

You did that in fifth grade? Yeah. What are you guys doing that in like first grade? Kindergarten. Yeah. The butterfly? Fifth grade Miss Scheller's class.

Jeez. I was the kid who. Scheller? Miss Scheller, yeah. Scheller's class. I was the kid who... Ms. Scheller? Ms. Scheller, yeah. What a delight. Coatesville? Yeah. Coatesville.

Is that a good school district? The haters will say no, but I thought it was all right. Better than Phoenixville. Yeah. You came out organized. Very organized. Look at me. Boys, boys, boys.

I know. You guys got going on this weekend? I got some shows in New Brunswick. Two. Two. How was it yesterday? Did people come? Yeah.

There were people there. A couple. It was fun. For what it was, for a Thursday show, it Yeah. A couple. It was fun. For what it was, for a Thursday show, it was actually really fun. It was a good crowd. Good. I got two more tonight, two more tomorrow. Where are you staying up there?

New Brunswick? Yeah. Are you staying up there? Yeah. How far away is it? It's not bad. It's like an hour. But I'm staying over tonight and tomorrow.

Yeah. I came back last night, though. Dedication. Please. Shh. This guy. Yeah. This guy. I came back last night though dedication please this guy yeah this guy but it was fun

it's a nice town did you get pizza it's the best place in the fucking world wait oh it's New Jersey I was thinking it's Connecticut yeah no I didn't get pizza

it's the best place in the world TJ that's where Rutgers is brother don't brother me brother damn brother I don't think I'm why are you still there I'm not gonna do anything I'm not looking I'm just not I'm sick Rutgers is, brother. Don't brother me, brother. Damn, brother. I don't think I'm going to do it. Why are you still there? I'm not going to do anything.

I'm not looking. I'm just not. I'm sick. Yeah, you guys seem sick. Something's up, yeah. I mean, everyone in this office has gotten sick. Yeah. I feel better that I have.

Just going around. Something's going around, guys. Yeah. Hollow brain. Yeah. No, you boys got hollow brain. Yeah. Something's going around, guys. Hollow brain. Yeah. You boys got a hollow brain. Yeah. It's bad.

Do you want to try to- Do you ever read the descriptions of people's experience with meth? No. I've done that. Why? It sounds heavenly. Really? Really?

I think it sounds terrible. That was one that I was like, that sounds- Yeah, no. You just itch the whole time? You go crazy. I don't know what you're reading. I haven't read it. You ever seen Breaking Bad, dude?

Yeah, like staying up for 25 hours and like jerking off until the skin's peeling off your dick. Yeah, but they have a blast doing it. Like they love, you have the time of your life cleaning. I remember I read a thing about a guy doing meth, and he did it, like, accidentally. Or he did it, like, at a music festival. And then he was like, what the fuck am I doing? And he, like, threw it away.

And then, like, an hour later, he was, like, running back to the concert venue to try and find the meth. Of course. I do that all the time with candy. The way we knew it. Throw, like, half a candy bar away I kind of wanted that

the way we knew is my dad would be up at 3.30 in the morning painting the ceiling or something one time we were driving back from Florida and he got caught by the cops because he spent three hours in the median picking wildflowers all the descriptions are like I cleaned

for 10 hours then jacked off for 10 hours. They're very productive. Remarkable. Does it make you horny? It makes you horny, and it makes it feel like... My dad did buy a pocket pussy when he was on it. Wait, really? Yeah.

How are you not fucked up? Oh, man. He is. I am. No, but you should be very fucked up. Yeah, probably, yeah, probably. A little fucked up. How do you know He is. I am. No, but you should be very fucked up. Yeah, probably. Yeah, probably. A little fucked up. How do you know your dad bought a pocket

pussy? He called me one day and said, hey, I bought a pocket pussy. Did he leave that to you? The dad gave away. All the signs were there. Is that part of his thing you had to go through? When I inherited the house, I just did not go through His things

Yeah I just Moved it all aside I bought a pocket I got the guns but What kind of guns you got Oh All of them

You tell All of them Yeah Rifles, shotguns Damn Pistols Dang You want to walk around

With a gun I know right I asked for a gun for Christmas Mom said no Damn I know In there Now In there too many times Did Christmas. Mom said no. Damn. I know. In there. Now?

In there too many times. Did she say you'll shoot your eye out? That's what she said. She said I make too many jokes about myself to have a gun. Also, you just can't

have one in New York City. No, that's illegal. Also, it's a very bad idea to have a gun. Just in general. Unless you're not like if you're a hunter, yes. But, like, if you have a gun, I've always thought.

I go to shoot targets with my dad when we're back in West Virginia. Right. But if you're like, I'm going to own a handgun, you're basically saying, like, I'm at one point going to probably have to kill someone. That's the thought. Yeah, right. Like, right? I think, like, that's.

I think you've convinced yourself there's going to be a time in my life I'm going to need to kill someone, even though you're never going to have to. On ZBT. But if you do have convinced yourself that you're going to. If it ever happens, I'm going to be ready, even though you'll never. We call it having a case of that. I wish a motherfucker woods. Yeah. And you get that, like, real big in your head.

And that's weirdo behavior. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's just walking around sizing people up. Being like, oh, yeah. I hope he's... Yeah, I sit with my back to... You guys sit there.

I'll sit with my back to the wall. I'm ready. I'm watching. When you're in a dog, no one even... No one acknowledges you. When what? Let alone tries to kill you.

Oh, yeah. No. I can't think of the last time someone even spoke to me. It's pretty much just road rage. It was a random person. Road rage is the only chance you get in a situation. In a car is a different story.

Yeah, you'd get in a situation where it's like, okay, this could be bad. I assume everybody but me has a gun, though. Walking around. Yeah, that's a good assumption. Who's that guy? I thought it was Big T. It looked like Little T. I think we would have a great time if we went skeet shooting.

Oh, yeah. If we were all in a row and just last in a way. Yeah, I want to go shooting again. Shooting skeet all over each other? Yeah. Skeet aside, I do think that that would be an enjoyable time. Chick-fil-A got here, Brandon. You already had.

Hours ago. Oh. I'm going to John's at Bleeker Street in a minute. Oh. That'll be fun. Hell yes. You going to go see the tree? Yeah, we'll go see the tree, too. You going to John's Bleeker Street in a minute. Oh. That'll be fun. Hell yes. You going to go see the tree? Yeah, we'll go see the tree, too.

You going to go escape? It just sounded like you were planning on going to see the tree. Did we not say we're going to see the tree? Well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I said the Macy's windows. Pipe down, bro.

Got to walk through the Macy's, take her on the oldest escalators in the city. Oh, yeah, there would. Love them. Very cool. I love that Macy's. So romantic. When did they light the tree? That was like this week, right? It was the first. What are you the oldest escalators in the city. Oh, yeah, there would. I love them. Very cool. I love that Macy's. So romantic. When did they light the tree? That was like this week, right?

It was the first. What are you going to buy? What did she buy yesterday? What are you going to buy her? Whatever she wants. Whatever she wants. I don't know. Whatever she wants, $100 or less.

Yeah. Well, no, I plan to pay for things, too. I'm going to give her a couple more hundreds. Don't do that. Oh, your dad only got you that? I just met you. She's getting to the age. She's 14 now.

Is she taller than me? Yes. Yeah. She is. Yeah, that's the right answer. What a question. I know. That's the age.

The age. She's taller than KB. She's borderline your height. I think she's the age. The age that's taller than KB. She's borderline your height. I think she's probably taller than you, though. She's getting to the age where now the kids in school know what Barstool is and know who we are, and she likes the attention. Oh, yeah. It's more her teachers and coaches love it. That's the age that I'm going to quit.

When your kids get to that age? Yeah. They're like, oh, yeah, I know what Barstool is. See ya. Right now, daycare teachers don't know who you are. No. And you don't want to send it to a daycare that does know who you are. No.

I've actually been debating giving like giving like coffee to them yeah christmas i'm like and first grade teachers won't know second grade it'll be but it's like seventh grade they'll they'll start to know yeah so it'll be your your 25 year old coaches and stuff like that yeah i don't know i think fourth grade you think think fourth? Yeah. Any teacher, like, I can't believe I was going to be a teacher. Wait, really? I wanted to do. I can see that. I didn't want to. You'd be a good teacher.

You'd be good. Oh, that would be, I would hate that. You would hate it, but you would. No, I wouldn't. I assume all teachers hate it.

I think you're a caring person. Not to get real. Okay, yeah, yeah. But I'm getting real. Major and child, early child. I think I would be a phenomenal getting real I think I would hate it yeah but you would be great at it I'm sure there are moments you hate this

I'm sure there are moments you hate this not really what percentage of teachers hate their job like a 90 I think it's very black and white so black teachers love their job? Yeah.

No, no. I think there are teachers that love their job and then teachers that hate. There's nobody that's. But I think the scale is. I also think most teachers probably hate their job and then summer comes and they're like, this is sweet. I have the best job. Yeah.

Like that part is crazy. Teachers complaining about their job to the students always was so weird to me. Yes. Our teachers always complained about their pay to us. That's what they would do. Well, it got shut off today. Teachers should get paid more. Yeah, definitely.

But it's also like, I'm six. I do get three months off. I follow this account called Teacher Misery. I don't even know why I follow. I have a lot of teacher friends, I guess. But it's literally just followed by hundreds of thousands of teachers who just submit they're like humble highly recommend following it but a big one the other day was this school administrator and who knows where posted on facebook under school's account we're getting word that some of the children are reporting that they

were watching movies before the thanksgiving break if you could they wanted the parents to like narc on the teachers who were showing movies and instead all the parents were like, fuck you. Give the teachers a fucking break. Yeah. The movie day is the best. I don't have the patience to be a teacher. I couldn't do it. I would never be able to do it. I didn't go to school when I was in school. What?

I didn't hardly go to school when I was in school. I would skip a lot of days. Would you really? You were a truant. Oh, a lot. What did you do all day? I would run into, like in high school school, it would be, like, February, and I'd realize you can miss, like, 20 days, and I'm at, like, 22. I'm going to have to talk my way out of it. You could miss 20 days? Oh, yeah.

You could miss, like, three. I think it was four, yeah. And then you started, like, losing credit. You could miss 10 a semester. Yeah, 10 a semester. That's crazy. I knew I would max out by, like, September 30th. I remember kids were, like, not going to I remember kids were like, September 30th?

I'm not going to graduate because they were late to school too many times. Your days were basically Dave with his tax? I just would not, yes. Taxes being like, I got a lot of days. I just would not go. Wakes up one day like, whoops. Teachers get summers off, yeah,

but they all have second jobs over the summer. Do they? I guess camp counselors. A lot of times. A ton of them do. One time I went to JCPenney after school. My mom told me

clothes shopping and my English teacher was working there and it fucked me up. Oh yeah. That's in Mean Girls. They see their math teacher.

She's like a bartender at like Shenanigans or something and they're like oh my god. It like flips their world on its head. That's what I'm saying. You should pay teachers

more. When he gets the telemarketing job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Strange. Kyle would be a great teacher. Want to do the other ad?

I interned at an all-black preschool in Akron. You did? Yeah, Wonder World. I wonder how they're doing. You taught there? Are you- Interned. Oh, interned.

Okay. Dave was a student teacher at Michigan. Really? Well, that. Huh. Huh. That's a wild Okay. Dave was a student teacher at Michigan. Really? Well, that. Huh. Huh. That's a wild thought. Dave hates kids.

That is me. It's never too early to play holiday music, and it's never too early to start thinking about gifts. Do your little drummer boy a favor and use the Lawn Mower 4.0 to avoid another silent night in the bedroom. Santa cares about his sack, and so should you. Look nice when you get naughty and get free shipping and 20% off by going to manscaped.com slash yak.

The Manscaped Platinum Package 4.0 is the one-stop shop for the man who deserves it all. It has everything you needed to help you deck the halls from face to balls just in time for mistletoe season. The Platinum Package includes the Lawn Mower 4.0 waterproof electric trimmer the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer the two-in-one shampoo and conditioner which is infused with sea kelp the body wash aloe infused hydration the deodorant which is aluminum free the crop preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant the crop reviver ball spray and the magic mat disposable shaving mats and for the perfect stocking stuffer, add in the brand new body buffer, an incredible body scrubber that makes exfoliating easy

and a lot cleaner than that old loofah. Get 20% off and free shipping at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com. Manscaped, get your jingle balls ready for the holidays. Yay, Brandon. Yay, Brandon. Hey, Brandon. Why is Deloitte trending right now? Some girl's TikTok about her day?

Yeah, that needs to stop. That needs to stop. I want to watch it. Oh, Ravel got duped as trending now. Oh, man. That's fucked up because he didn't get duped is trending now. Oh, man, that's fucked up because he didn't get duped. And it's very clear he did not.

Just saying someone I did not get duped. It's just such a fucking hilarious thing to tweet out. I did not get duped. There was never a duping. Say I got duped would be wrong. Damn.

When is. I want to see this. With me as a big four management consultant. I woke up at 630. Showered. Had some Greek yogurt. Topped with honey and almonds. For breakfast.

Finished getting ready. And then ordered an Uber to the office. Work pays for our Ubers. Which is so clutch. Because otherwise. It would get so pricey. I got to the office. Met up with my team. And then we went to the in-house Starbucks. I got to the office, met up with my team, and then

we went to the in-house Starbucks. I got tea for myself and picked up a matcha latte and croissant for my manager. We were hungry, so we also got breakfast sandwiches from the cafe. Then we had back-to-back sessions for a few hours. We had some very cool brainstorming sessions. My teammates are such talented, thoughtful people. I felt so excited about my product marketing work after all of these sessions. Afterwards, my co-worker Ellie and I picked up sweet green for everyone for lunch i got the fish taco bowl which was so yummy then i went to it to switch out my pc for a mac learning the new shortcuts will be a lot of work but macs are so smooth i had to make the switch we had more back to back meetings until the end of the day. Afterwards, we Ubered to a restaurant for drinks and dinner.

From 5.30 to 9, we were at this restaurant just eating, laughing, drinking wine. My team gets along so well, so it was the best time. We were having so much fun and didn't want the night to end, so we Ubered to the Lincoln Memorial. This is like a plant. Then we went to Green Zone and Admo. Yeah, this is the night sponsor by Deloitte, right? Yeah, this is a plant.

Sponsor by Deloitte. No, this is what this every day in the life is just. They're the same. Yeah, they're all the same. That's a plant. That was horrific. I got the fish taco. It was so yummy.

It's always like me and my friend Ellie got this. I want the real, yeah, I want the real. We're going to this bar, this cute bar after work. We should all have to do one. Let's all do one. I just would love to see the other side of that. Mine would be so depressing. I woke up, I felt like shit, I had to go to work.

That's even half true that I'm so sad that they enjoy their life that much. I'm banned from Uber because I puked in it last week. My company doesn't pay for it. I woke up and took the stinkiest fucking shower yet. This bitch at our team meeting is eating fish tacos for lunch. She's the fucking worst. I think if people observed the first two hours of my day, they would be shocked.

It's mostly just me stomping around my apartment just being like, Jesus fucking Christ. Just about nothing. There's nothing happening but i'm just i wake up furious every day yeah and then about about after like two hours it goes away i think the first thing i say every single morning for the past five years has been fuck yeah every single day i did a realistic like morning in the life getting my son ready for day care video um and it went like viral it got like a million something views and all the comments were like you're a terrible mom i was like oh no because like i every morning you'd think like i'd

get ready the night before every morning yeah it's like oh fuck i oh i'm never ready i never know what the we're always like it's always just a fucking the other day i was i was responsible for packing my son's lunch i just gave gave him one string cheese and four crackers. I was like, I don't have anything else, bro. Yeah. I was like, you're going to figure it out. That's all he needs. I was like, I had nothing.

There was nothing in the fridge to give him. He was like, I want pasta. I was like, we're not doing pasta. Yeah. I remember when my dad used to, when he would have to pack lunch, he would be like, once a year. Yeah. It would always be like the worst fucking thing ever.

Yeah, no. It's not usually my responsibility but there was a change in schedule. He was like, hey, can you pack lunch? I was like, uh, yeah. Like four goldfish. Dads didn't even know what lunch was. The only thing my dad knew how to make was eggs.

Eggs and pasta. My dad's was Denny Moore stew. Without the can. That was pancakes. I can make macaroni and cheese. That was pancakes. Yeah. I can make macaroni and cheese. I made it last night. I got that in my repertoire.

Yeah, we need to make those day in the life. Yeah, well. Yeah. So next week, is next week eggnog? We have to figure that out. So we have to do it in the next two weeks. I think we should do a Wednesday, maybe. We could start it. We don't have to do it late night. We can destroy the rest of your week.

Alright, so you want to do it? Yeah, you're right. No, that's a good point. Should we do it maybe a Thursday? Yeah. But we'll have to do a Friday. So let's do it like Thursday like a 4 o'clock. Go to like 4 just until

we get tired of doing it. Let's do Thursday. Let's do Thursday. Should we do the 15th? Because I don't want to do it on the 8th because we have Rough and Rowdy the next day. Oh, God. All right, let's make sure nothing. We'll not do Rough and Rowdy with just a belly full of eggnog.

So the 15th. What do you put in eggnog? Rum. And then we'll run it for everyone listening at home. Our last live show of the year will be the 22nd. And the 23rd will be the Christmas. Are we doing a gift swap? Yeah.

Christmas sweaters? Is it $500 or a live animal? $500 or heartbeat. Yeah. All right. When are we going to draw for gift partners? We do it when we're drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we got to have a mind when we come here. No, no. Why do we even have draw for gift partners? We do it when we're drunk. Yeah.

Oh, we got to have in mind when we come. No, no. Why do we even have to have a partner? You just pick out the gift you want. Yeah, then we wrap. The wheel has to be involved somehow. It's a really confusing swap. Yankee swap.

Wait, wait. What if it's like candy grams in high school where some people just don't get anything and some people get a lot of things? You know what I mean? Like a cruel. We all just get a gift of things. You know what I mean? Like a cruel... We all just get a gift for our favorite person, and then in the end, someone's feeling... Can you pick someone who you want to get a gift for?

Yeah. I'm definitely getting a gift for myself. 500 bucks? That's a safe move. Yeah, that's a safe move. That's a lot of money. We should spend for the price. Whose idea was 500?

We should spend for the price. Spend for the price of gifts. I'm pretty sure it was yours. I think it was. We're sure. I don't have... Oh, the price of gifts. I'm pretty sure it was yours. I think it was. I don't have. Should we do it on a Thursday?

Should we do it on a Friday afternoon? Should we do like a one hour yak and then do it on a Friday afternoon? You don't want to do it live though.

No, I know. Okay. I'm saying that way we don't have to. We can do that. And we don't also have to do a show the next day.

We'll do an hour yak stop and then. The 20 or whatever the 17th. We'll do an hour yak, stop, and then... The 20th or whatever, the... 17th. 16th? 16th. So do an hour yak on that Friday, and then we'll stop. We'll reset, and then we'll do it from like 2.30 to

5.30. When's 12-hour stream? I like that too. 12-hour stream, we have to plan. We have to do that. Let's just do it right now. I think we'll do it in January because there's nothing going on in January. We're already an hour in today. We've only got 11 more hours. I don't think it'll be that hard.

I don't think it will be either. Well, let's get a date. We'll give a date for the people. Guaranteed date, 12-hour stream. Didn't we say January 16th we were going to do something? That's goatee week, which we could do a 12-hour stream during goatee week, which would be badass. We could come in bearded and then shaved goatees.

Yeah, part of the stream. Yeah. It would be badass. Yeah. What do I do for that? Because January, my schedule basically changes to I won't miss anymore. What would it look like? We'll just draw it in.

Draw it in. We don't college football show, pro football show, advisors all. Once football season ends, I'm back. We can do fun stuff again. My body's back. Body's a wonderland. Look at Julio and his fat ass. It is juicy.

Julio's for juicy. I've got to take my girl to her daddy-daughter date. Have fun. You've you gotta buy something nice yeah you gotta buy her something whatever she wants really nice or an apple watch

and a pair of ons those are hip those are hip don't get her any Balenciaga no what's ons just like nice running shoes nice active wear

alright I think she wants some Jordans oh that's good yeah wearing Jordans today now Brandon I'm doing this because I love you. Go out that way.

I know. I was going to block it. Yeah, yeah. I got you. Go out the other way. Got me, TJ? All right, I'll just take care of it. Have I ever failed you before, Brandon?

Yeah, many times. All right, Brandon, have a great time. All right. Enjoy it. Good dad. Good dad. Great dad. Not as good an uncle as I am. Her.

100 bucks. Big deal. Brandon's going to steal that money from her. I know it. Motherfucker. That's a piece of shit. A lot of Chick-fil-A. You're going to probably bet it on a parlay.

What's his name? What is his name? Peter Griffin. Man. That Family Guy clip is hilarious. Are we allowed to watch Family Guy clips, DJ? The one where he goes into the casino. We should start watching Family Guy.

We should just start watching Family Guy. Can we? Yeah, can we? I would just chill and watch an episode. I would watch one episode of Family Guy? Can we? Yeah, can we? I would just chill and watch an episode. I would watch one episode of Family Guy right now. The Uber clip is so,

when he applies to be an Uber driver. Have you guys seen that one? No, I haven't. So fucking funny. Let's, uh, TJ, figure it out. I don't,

just put it real small in the corner. Didn't we watch Robocop once? Um, yeah, but I think we weren't supposed to. No, because it showed Titty. Yep.

Can we? Yeah, I'm figuring it out. I've got to find an episode. Hell yeah. Why is this episode just audio? Let's do a no laugh challenge. Nope. Nope. Pass.

I've sent my Uber Eats to the old Barstool office two days in a row now. You just did it again? I did it today. What old office? The one that you never worked at? I've never been there. What? I type in Barstool Sports HQ and it sends it there.

What was it? It was a cutlet sandwich. there. I type in Barstool Sports HQ and it sends it there. What was it? It was a cutlet sandwich. I know. I was treating myself today. My sick ass. I beat Pokemon this morning. Congratulations. What does that mean?

What does that mean? I beat the last boss. What does that mean? Is it like a fighter game? How long did it take you? Pokemon Snap? 17 hours probably. What does that mean? Is it like a fighter game? How long did it take you? Pokemon Snap? 17 hours, probably. What game is it?

A Violet. It's a new one. Did that before you even came in today? Yeah. God damn it, you're an accomplished man. You're organized as fuck. Isn't that the best when you beat a video game and you're like, yeah. And if you say it out loud to anyone, they're like, what?

Okay. No, because it dawns on me it's a kid's game. Yeah, no, but it's just a very, like, it's one of those things you absolutely feel proud. Yeah. But if you tell anyone else, another adult, they're like, okay, dude. All right, man, I don't care. What the fuck? Beating things isn't a good feeling.

Oh, I think it's a great feeling. Oh, it's a good feeling. I don't think I've ever done it. Because then you're done. Yeah, no, there's a sadness that comes in after. Going toward the goal. Kyle, the journey has just begun. Yeah, there is a sadness.

Beating games is fun. But beating the game in the moment. The act of beating, once it's beaten, you're like, oh, now what? No one cares. I can't have fun anymore. Sadness comes in like an hour later. I'm going to start shiny hunting, dude. Well, the thing is, yeah, the games that I always play,

I beat the campaigns for Call of Duty, but then you just switch over to the multiplayer. I remember the old Mario, you couldn't save it. And all the neighborhood kids would be in the living room like a marathon, and it was so exciting, and we still never beat it, but got close. Old games were way more fun. Yeah, those were the days. Yeah, I beat Mario Odyssey.

That was the hardest game ever. Yeah. Well, those games were designed not to be beat because they wanted you to pay more quarters. Yeah. I think if someone paid me like a million dollars, I don't think I could beat, what's it called? What's that new game?

The new role-play game. What was the handheld Sega? Like the Dark Souls one? Dark Souls, yeah. Game Gear? That was my favorite. Yeah, that's cool. That thing ruled.

I just bought... The fact that it, like, to go from Game Boy to Game Gear and be in color was like, whoa. Yeah. I just bought, like, a little Chinese Game Boy that has all those built in. I'm going to buy a Game Gear. Wait, what's the thing you bought? I bought, it's called a TJ. It was, it got pretty good reviews.

It is called a... Steam Deck? No, no, no. It's it's like cheaper than that it's a I got that it was like the Super Nintendo kit that has all the games built into it and it sucked it's like slow big delay between the controllers and the I think I might I think I might bring my PlayStation to New Bruns do. That was really demeaning of me. Oh, is that what you're going to do? I was reading.

Oh, is that what you're going to do? Remember the kids that would bring their PS2 to wrestling tournaments? Yes. You do? That was my role in baseball tournaments. Bring the PS2, bring MLB games. That was the coolest kid. Phil!

Somebody! These drunk redneck truckers are trying to have their way with me! Wait, are we watching this? Yeah, it's in the corner flipped backwards. Wait, TJ, I mean, I don't think we can talk about your incident, but I want to so bad, TJ. Oh, I know. I got major beef. Holy shit. We gotta get him back.

So that was a targeted attack? I don't know. Do these people have it saved For some context Without saying too much There are Barstool Idol Former Barstool Idol No you're saying too much You're saying too much

You're saying too much You're saying too much I got beef with former Idol contestants TJ you're saying too much You might as well just say it now No TJ You've all been down that I've been down that road

It's not bad A former Idol Yeah just say it Say it. Say it. No, it's funny. I'm just saying my personal information. Yeah.

You said too much already. You've already said too much. It's their own game. No. You said idols. It was too much. That is a, well, that made me laugh. Did you reach out to them? I just said, hey, please don't do this, and they didn't respond.

Okay. Oh, man. What a weirdo move. Yeah, that's such a weird move. Not by you. We are giving way too much away, TJ. Just do it. My phone number is in a video that one of the Idol contestants used for a sketch.

Oh, TJ, what are you doing to yourself? It's fun. Welcome to the club, TJ. Is there bad blood? I don't know. I barely talked to those people. Who would have bad blood with TJ, right? I gave them very subjective instructions.

It was like, do this, do this. I barely talked to them outside of that. That was not my role. So I don't understand this at all. Well, the reason why they did it is because they want us to talk about it. We just did. Yeah. So we got caught.

How many calls did you get? So I never pick up phone calls from numbers I don't know. I just did this time, and they were like, hey, this is a thing. But you only got like one? I've probably gotten ten phone calls from random numbers in the last week. By the way, for the Christmas special, should we do the Stinky Cloud during the Christmas special? Yes. While Steven is drunk?

Yes. Off of is drunk? Yes. Off of eggnog. Oh, no. Let's see what we convince him. It came. The cloud thing came. Oh, did it? Yeah.

Where is it? It's at Steven's desk. Oh, Nick, you should bring your water in. It's just a big... He won't be able to handle it. All right, so we'll do that at the end of the Christmas special. Oh, God. Just put him in it.

Yeah. Everyone bring one thing. Yep. Oh, my God. What them in it. Yeah. Everyone bring one thing. Yep. Oh, my God. What are you bringing? For the stinky? I think we should all just bring our turds. Yeah, I'm down to bring a turd.

Maybe I'll bring some of Stella's poop. You're yours. I can bring my cat's cat poop. Yeah. My kids throw up. Yeah. Yeah. This shit smells so bad.

I want to convince Steven that he's invisible. Oh, yeah, like the magician. Yeah. Yeah. Shit smells so bad. I want to convince Steven that he's invisible. Oh yeah like the magician. Yeah. I think Oz is coming in next week. I'm saying we wouldn't even need a magician. We could just tell him

like oh shit. You're invisible right now. Ah we should do that. We should just ignore him for an entire day. He's probably watching this right now but he could probably forget.

We could convince him like all right Steve like I'm thinking of a number say something and he'd say it and we'd say yeah we could convince him he's psychic i'm trying to think what we so easily yeah he's so excitedly said like did you see oz was on the on with the box i was like. He's coming in next week. Dude. Yeah, no, I just said that. Oh, he's a mentalist. I just said that. I didn't hear you. I was looking up the Switzerland score. Was it Che that got him to come back? Yeah.

I think so, yeah. What else is he going to do? I know. I don't think there's much. He could do more of that same stuff for a while. No, I'm excited. That's still impressive. Full hour.

Is anyone else doing that? Anyone else doing mentalist shit? At his level? At that level? At that level? I don't know. No one's at that guy's level. At that level?

Not a shot. Not a shot. Remember when Criss Angel was like a mind freak? The hot shit. Oh, it was the best. It was like a big deal. What about Criss Angel clip?

I want to see what was the craziest thing he did. He levitated over Shaq's house. He levitated Shaq over his house. I think he laid on his. Is that right? How did he do that? He levitated Shaq over his house?

That's one of my favorite videos ever. I mean, how did he do that? Shaq floated above his house? Shaq flew across the sky, yeah. Why did we just let that go? It's crazy. I've seen it before. Hold on. Wait, are you doing the reverse thing on this too?'s crazy. I've seen it before. Hold on.

Wait, are you doing the reverse thing on this too? This is what I have on my wheel. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Look at this. This is what I have on my Kate wheel. I don't understand this. Yeah. Except for this.

What? Look at Shaq. Over his house. You are lying. You are not lying. There you go. Look at Shaq. There you go, Shaq.

Holy shit. This is so funny. He's attached to it. This is like a... There he goes. How do they do this? Is there just a drone? It has to be editing.

Look at the way he's wobbling, though. He's attached to something. He's on something. Yeah. What's he on? This is so fucking funny. Like, who's watching that and believing it? I never saw that before.

What are the things that he has done that aren't? I saw him, he laid on like a picket fence and it impaled him. Oh, let's see that. That was cool. Shaq. Who was the one that went into like underwater for? That was David Blaine That was Blaine

Blaine did that in Times Square right He froze himself in Times Square Where he was in an ice cube Well yeah Poor Blaine I want to see what That was just a hollowed out ice cube No Blaine was underwater

In a like Yeah He did both His skin like started to melt He did breath holding What was the breath holding It was like That was just real.

He held his breath for like 17 minutes. How? He just started like training himself. Yeah, he started doing like body tricks. He's less magician, more just awesome. Yeah. Yeah, more badass. He does the human aquarium now.

What's that? He'll just like have a frog in his stomach and throw it up on command and be like, here's a frog. What? That sucks. That's disgusting. Yeah. It's human aquarium. He's just doing like body freak show shit now. Huh.

Well, he got canceled. He did for what? He got me too'd. Damn. Classic. Never meet your heroes. Damn. David Blaine.

David Blaine did have a cool video where he went to like really poor communities yeah that's the changing one dollar bills to hundred dollar bills I think yeah that was a good video

that's good you've seen my show haven't you what did you see what did you see I saw the bed of nails okay so if you see me laying on a bed of nails

with a hummer this is a piece of cake for me I promise you you're not responsible, OK? Just make sure it's OK with him. Excuse me. Is there a for you to fence? If I break it, I'll buy it.

All right, cool. No chance that car would be broken. Yeah? This scared the shit out of me. What the fuck is this? Yeah, use my pets, bro. These people are plants, right? Yeah.

Oh, I don't want to see this. So he gets impaled, right? It's complete balance. This whole thing's all about balance. I don't want to... It's all about balance. All right, you see? All right. Whoa! That wouldn't be the extent of your reaction.

Oh, no. You wouldn't just scream and stand. And the guy's still just watering his lawn. Just all watching. Oh, no. No one's helping him at all. Zero blood. But it never shows.

That does rule. That is cool. But I believed every single one. I believe that. You still do? Yeah. Okay. I don't understand how is that fake?

Yeah, you're right. It's got to be real. I don't want to get duped. Ah, shit. Go full circle. Did want to get duped. Ah, shit. Nobody wants to get duped. Go full circle. Did I just get duped? Yep.

I obviously know it's not real, but I want to see how. How does he make it look so cool? Is it editing? Yeah, I don't know. It's only on video, so. I want to go to one of his live shows. We had him on PMT. What?

You had Chris Angel? Yeah. When? I was like, it was during COVID. God damn. He was narcissistic. Yeah. Slightly.

Yeah. Also, like, anyone who's like, I think I remember him being, like, pretty nice guy, but also being like, yeah, like, I'm doing a lot of stuff to, like, help children and stuff. Yeah. I like that he still dresses like Bam Margera. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, all right, enough about the charity.

Just fucking, you know, impale yourself. Is this his live show? Oh, he has a few. I would go to a magic show for sure. Yes. go to a magic show for sure yes i went to one in um time square like a broadway show but it was a magic show like chris angel type with like four different dude magicians with like like heavy metal going the whole time and like i don't remember a single trick uh that was a dumb story so a concert it was like just heavy metal music playing while they did little tricks on stage in a Broadway theater.

People had come from all over. It had a residency there, these guys. If you're a magician, you either... Unless you're Criss Angel, if you're a family at Thanksgiving, it's like, oh, KB's a magician. Everyone's like, oh. Yeah, right. Okay. It's a tough profession.

Yeah. I see the David Blaine underwater. I feel like he almost died. A lot of his shit's underwhelming, and he always gets carried out of every scene. Yeah, where he's like, I'm almost dead. Not to hold the breath. He lived underwater for a week. He lived in the bubble. He did.

Maybe you're laughing, but skin like started to melt off can you like say i was in body temperature water that was safe and i was just submersed in it would your skin just start to fall off yes yeah you could only live in water for so long like yes did you see the tiktok of a guy that kept his hand in lotion for like 24 hours? No. Oh, TJ, pull it up when you're done. ...of a hologram were so pervasive that even his friends began to wonder if it was fake. It was real. One year later, Blaine was encased in a giant water every quarter.

Is that what he had? I was just thinking that. Look at his hands. Oh, I thought he was wearing gloves. ...by his medical team to end the stunt. On the last day, while handcuffed, Blaine attempted a world record breath hold. Seven minutes in, he began blacking out,

and divers jumped in to save his life. You all right? You all right? Determined to succeed, he trained relentlessly for the next two years. On April 30th, 2008, pushing through excruciating pain and ischemia to the heart, he shattered the world record by holding his breath underwater for 17 minutes and 4 seconds, live on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Over the next few years, Blaine shot five in his mouth twice, Jesus.

What? Wait, what? What? No way. What? I like the shows he does this on. Swallowing a deadly amount of water and kerosene and spouting them out at will He also shoved an ice pick through his hands and biceps sewed his mouth shut and stored the same three frogs in his stomach thousands of times eating over 30 pounds of glass I don't think those are the same three frogs

30 pounds of glass averaging 10 minutes each and gained and lost the weight of six grizzly bears. No one even remembers this. Wait, that bear ate its brother a few weeks later? I was like zoning out. The bear ate his

owner's brother a few weeks later. What? That just makes it like David, he's like bragging. Yeah, like this bear killed a person. Huh. What a fucking crazy... I didn't know about the... What was the one

that we all were shocked at? Fuck. He was electricity. Oh, the electricity. What was it? 30 days or some shit? Yeah. Over a million volts

consistently for a seven day. It was the second part that really threw me off. Yeah, shot in the mouth. Shot in the mouth twice. You could have done it once 20 pounds of glass could have done one pound of glass I would be like what the fuck I love how he does them on

like Oprah like yeah die yeah that's what those are the ones the ones I don't fuck with other as like eating the glass and like the needles through his arm and shit oh man David Blaine you crazy for for that bro all right let's see the lotion guy in the morning this guy wasn't even a magician he was just a guy bored he was like i bet i can keep my hand in this 24 hour that rules he pulled his hand out and it was one of the most shocking things i've ever

added to the wheel 24 hours in lotion and And then he did an AMA afterwards, and they were like, why'd you do it? And he was like, I just wanted to see what would happen. I'm bored. There was no research online. Still 0-0. The Brazil game. Yeah, Cameron Brazil.

What's Serbia doing? 1-0 to Switzerland. Wow. 1-0 to Switzerland? Yeah. Let's fucking go. 24 hours. Oh, it's Nick. Yeah. Rise. What? This is my hand.

It's like the pruniest thing to ever exist. Wait, it gets worse, I think. Oh! Oh! Ugh! I put my hand in lotion. Nick, that's you! It is a surprise. Yeah, wait, there I put my hand in lotion. Nick, that's you.

It is a surprise. Anyway, there's a better picture of it. Someone should have to do this. I don't know what happened to him. I like the disclaimer. Participating in this activity could result in you or others getting hurt. Or others. Hmm. I mean, you have to try to jerk off after, right?

Yeah. I saw a TikTok of... ...in lotion for 24 hours, and then it looked like that. Here is an update. Okay. Okay, number one question was why I have goopy goblin internet brain syndrome. I don't know. I don't have a good...

The same thing. Yeah, no, very different. Someone should have to do this for the 12-hour live stream. of goopy goblin internet brain syndrome. I don't know. I don't have a good idea. Yeah, no, very different. Someone should have to do this for the 12-hour live stream. Keep their hand in motion. That would be very funny. It would be funny. What if the skin falls off? Oh, 12 hours, nothing.

All right. Yeah. You just peel it off like a glove. Oh, your bones. A skeleton hand. We should David Blaine the 12 hours. We all should have to David Blaine the 12 hours. Everyone has to have one trick.

And it has to keep a hot dog in his mouth the entire time. I think we need to buy the keg of goo. Oh, yeah. What's that? Lube barrel. Lube barrel. Slush fund. What is it? There was that barrel. Lube barrel. Slush fund. Barrel of lube.

What is it? There was that barrel of lube on Instagram. Nice. That we were going to buy with the slush fund. It was an entire barrel. I feel like... Sit in the barrel. Somebody was going to have to get gloopy.

I like that. Sit in the lube barrel. I'll buy it. Up. Like $1,000 or something. Outrageous. There it is. I love that picture.

$1,000. Look how hot she is. Why is she in there? She's about to get fucked. Your agent hits you up for a modeling gig. You're like, oh, finally. What's it for? A 55-gallon drum. Let me go grab my lube.

Just come back with a handful. You need a crowbar to open it. I would love it if there's just one little pump top at the top. Or just like a teaspoon. Yeah. Just one. Oh, man. Spilling that would be a nightmare.

Oh, man. Right in the middle of the office. You wouldn't be able to clean it up. No. No. Ever. Ever. able to clean it up. No. No. Ever. Ever. It would be so funny.

Like, there's literally, like, because, like, water would just make it worse. Where do you even begin? You've got to scoop it up. Yeah. Yeah. I've said this on here before, but when I lived in the rugby house at IUP, the guys team went in one night when we were all at the bar, and they dumped a whole thing of, like, canola oil on our, it was, like, that black and white linoleum floor. And when we all came

home, we were like, like cracking our heads up on the floor. But like, it was impossible. Yeah, you can't clean it. You can't clean it up. What would you even do? The floor is just slippery. Just put sand on it? I just put a layer of sand. And then scoop up the sand. It would be a nightmare.

It was. Oh my god. It would total the house. Jimmy was saying, you can buy an island. What? Jimmy was saying it's not even that hard to buy an island. Who's Jimmy? Mr. Beast. It's less than a mil. He buys islands for less than a million dollars, and he renovates them with a bunch of fakes.

How do you renovate an island? Because the cheap ones are really shitty. They're basically impossible to live on. And get to? Yeah, that's what he does. He's done it multiple times? Several times. He flips islands?

Essentially flips, but he gives them in his challenges. He gives them to people. Islands. That's such a shitty gift. I know. In this entire island. Yeah, that's such a shit. You're going to have to pay for the property taxes.

It's going to cost you $20,000 to get here. Yeah. You have to rent like a helicopter. Yeah. Yep. I don't right now. Can I call you back? All right.

I'll call you right back. All right. So who was that? This is my car in the shop. Oh, yeah. He's going to tell me I can't get it done by the end of the weekend. I'm like, bro. It's been in there for three days?

No, just today. Oh, okay. It might have been Brandon's. I gave it to him, and he was like, it might take a long time. I was like, then don't fix it. I was like, I'm coming back at 4 o'clock, and I want it. And if it's was like, it might take a long time. I was like, then don't fix it. Yeah. I was like, I'm coming back at 4 o'clock, and I want it. And if it's not fixed, I don't care.

Yeah. What's the matter with it? Nothing. It was just service. But he's like, oh, it takes a while. I don't know. Do half of it. I don't care. Tell him to turn the light off.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why a guy like me doesn't have a car. Yeah. I would have a sweet one, but... Yeah. You'd probably soup it up, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just don't really feel like dealing with the service. All right. Yeah. Should we call it? Yeah, I guess I should have just taken that call. Yeah. All right, we'll see everyone on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Happy weekend. Yes. Yeah. Woo. Happy birthday Dylan A.K.A Phenom