The Yak - Big Cat Got KB a LOVELY Birthday Present | The Yak 1-27-25

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

We found Kate's doppelgangerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Yeah, that's row back calm foundational pieces foundational pieces Welcome in We got a lot of shit to do today lot to do but first happy birthday to Kyle Bauer Wow happy birthday How about our yesterday Jones is yesterday? Yeah. Yeah but still. I got two days. It's it's it's No. Please let it be over. My I was tracking Amazon my gift should be here by one o'clock. Today. Today. Oh we're doing the awkward gift giveaway today? Oh yeah. And this one actually hurt you financially. This one is a big one. Oh my god. I'm excited for you to see the gift. Every time it's my birthday I'm like what I feel like I get way more than most. You do? for you to see the gift. Every time it's my birthday, I'm like, what?

I feel like I get way more than most. You do. Yeah, you do. More love. Yeah, no, I appreciate it. It's deserved. Well, you don't know what the gift is yet. It might be cumbersome.

Well, I mean, I told you I was thinking about getting you a car, and you're like, no. That would kind of ruin my life. How? Because I'd have to, like like find a place for it. I'd have to learn how to drive. I didn't know he didn't know how to drive. Barely.

Oh, no. I could do the interstate. When he was alive? That's the hardest drive. No, interstate's so easy. That's when you just block out. When was the last time you drove in a car? You drove a car.

I drive a car. You can drive a car? I just hate it. I like it. It's kind of cool. It's one of my favorite things to do. It just like increases my anger in life by like 700% mmm that's a lot of percent it's a shitload of especially in like busy like urban settings yeah but uh um we have a former co-worker here today Kate yeah I just

came to say goodbye yeah it was it's been real did that dog fucking die the dog died and I yeah What happened? I got it was the ice you got to see a cape breakdown in real time on Twitter What it was so sick wait what happened? It was you could have guessed every next move She has you were a sick overthinking classic freaking out I I went to a cousin's weekend this weekend whole bunch of us like 15 of us gathered on Lake Michigan in the boondoggles and I got my boondocks okay whatever. I've been up since like 5 a.m. my train got delayed whatever get there no kids I was having a little bit of fun a couple day

drinks and then later in the evening I hop in the hot tub and I have a couple edibles. Maybe, maybe a little mushroom action, I don't know. Okay. Anyway, I've been in the hot tub for probably longer than I should have been. When I got out, I picked up my phone, I was scrolling. I wasn't on my phone all day. I saw this, I was like, I'm gonna tweet Elon Musk

that I don't like him. Okay. Yeah. I did that and then I hate him That's a lot Even on your side because I know they hate to see you come I thought that part was gonna destroy him is wild I miss this yeah, then you got canceled. Oh, I don't know what was the scroll up What was the response? There's a dental Institute

Okay, that that's a nonprofit that like cares for people who are vulnerable takes care of their teeth and They just let people know like hey no matter. What's going on. We're gonna look out for you our People and so then this guy's like woke by virus virus whatever and I was like what are we doing here I was I enough to be like I got it so what happened I got a response to this time was this like I'm gonna fuck I'm a tweet at Elon let me see what his last tweet was and just reply yeah this like it was all my attention because I happen to know somebody the the nonprofit who like cares for people's teeth then got doxed and all these people and like all this awful shit happened to them then.

I happened to know somebody who was really affected by it and so I was like high enough to be like, you know what, you know what? I'm gonna take a stand. I'm gonna make a difference. So then what happened after that? So I tweeted it and then I was like, man, I have Barstool in my hand.

My name's like Kate Barstool. And I was like, I was like, I don't, one, my kids need health insurance. And two, like I got, so I was like. You convinced yourself you were going to get fired. Oh, so you were high on shrooms and weed, hot tub high, and you're like, I'm about to get fired. I was like, well here, my thing.

Oh my God, I want a meltdown. I was like. Holy shit. Crossfaded in the tub. Meanwhile, my cousins are like playing charades by the fire, they had no idea. I was like, right behind them in the shadows, like, Holy shit. Crossfaded in the tub. Meanwhile, my cousins are like playing charades by the fire. They had no idea. I was like, right behind them in the shadows, like, oh my God. I was like,

I also don't want to make it seem like I'm speaking for Barstool. Cause like, when all you shoot is Barstool, it's a weird move to like, do something like that. I would have taken Kate out of my body. And then I started- Love Barstool. Well then I thought, because then I thought I got- Did you change your handle? Well, I thought something had happened because people started texting me, Kate out of my body

Handle well, I thought something happened because people started texting me. Did you get like whatever so then I changed I was like shit. I should probably change my handle so that at least it doesn't seem I was like I can relax for the rest of the night. There's the permanent bar Yeah, if you were following you could like see in real time as I was like, let me cover the bases here Let me yeah, but Kate to get fired I would have had to fire you and yeah, I think like two weeks ago We had a like heart to heart where I was like, you're the best you're doing a great job Like you have a job as long as I'm here But I think I also you thought maybe like all I said you maybe I like had left out the part

But if you ever tween Elon Musk right fucking don't he wants a trigger It was so funny to watch this break down in real. Oh, I was trying to be like respectful of the company. I guess Your identity, but then I was like, you know what then after I did that I like felt really I was like whatever. I don't know why I was. But then I was like you know what, then after I did that I like felt really, I was like alright. Did you delete it? You'll never be able to find out who I am. No. And then I just like kept on. Oh my god what a meltdown. CJ what's that logo, what's that thing next to the blue check on her name?

Oh wow. You had the badge. It goes right there. Oh my god. But there's like another you had the badge. It goes right there. You had the badge. Oh my God. But there's like, another example of my, like I wanted to text you happy birthday yesterday, but then I saw our Yak account put out stuff that it was your birthday.

I was like, I can't message him now because he'll think that I'm only messaging him because I saw that it was his birthday. Because like that's what you're wearing. I wouldn't last five minutes in here. No, it was. That's. What is wrong with you?

It's tremendous. But then I muted the conversation and then I just had a great night. I like forgot about it and had a great night. You do like some, I would say like some bold moves every once in a while. You could say dumb. But you have a bold side.

And then you immediately crumble. Right. You're bold for a second and then the entire facade just comes down, and you play defense the rest of the day. I could beat you in any argument by being like, that was mean. And then you break, and you weep. Well, then I was like, I don't want to alienate, like,

barstow followers who would I like? Because I'm like, I want everyone to have a good time. But I just also hate that guy. You know, like, the Sour Patch commercials were like, first they're sour, and then they're sweet. Yeah, that's you yeah Yeah, I don't know What I loved watching it real time yeah, cuz I could just picture your every next move was so predictable Yeah, but then I had a great night. I went on to have a great night. I like forgot about it, so

But now can you not get barstool back in I don't think so I'm Katie money grabs now Which is we all that was it was weird, which is weird. That was weird. That was weird behavior. That was weird behavior. Super weird. Very weird. How'd you settle on Moneygrabs? It's my OnlyFans name.

Ah. Ah. Katie Moneygrabs. I knew it sounded familiar. So I was like, maybe some people hate follow that. I won't make Barstool bad, but I'll make Horsey bad. You had been Kate Barstool for seven years? Since the beginning, yeah.

But I was just like, I don't wanna make the, I was like, I don't wanna, with like sales and all that shit, I was like, I'm gonna fuck up whatever. Well, I guess the good news is that if you, to get your account back, you just have to talk to whoever owns Twitter. Yeah, yeah, I'll just ask Elon.

Oh no. I'm just a son of a bitch. Oh no. Fuck. Damn it! What if he just changes and handled a fat bitch? Jump cunt! He could!

He could! Fuck! Oh! You really put yourself in a box here! I did! Elon, please sir! This Katie Money Gump makes no sense. Give me it back!

I have to like start gambling now, I guess. Yeah! Something. To make it make sense. Oh. Yeah, no, it was weird. The whole thing was weird It's so you oh my god. Did this affect your SpaceX deal? Yeah, we're fucked Perfect I'm an idiot by the way your gift has arrived. It's arrived

Does she need help is it one gift pretty big. It's not a kayak, is it? It's a river. I for the I know I'll love it. Okay. It's like a kayak case. Something to keep it safe. I'll be cool. You're gonna love it. You're gonna be mad at me. Oh wrestling mat. Yeah, Yeah, I will. I will. All the kayaks so you can kayak to work. Oh. Make your kayak a car. Oh my god. It's coming in. Here we go. Gonna bring it in. Let's see. Get some suspense music. Totally normal company. I'm just watching John Gruden over there doing cameoso King is coming Frank's crown. I think it's untouchable like it's an unbreakable record. Mm-hmm The weight what could it be agonizing what could it be?

I don't know if it's coming Do you see it? It's getting here. No I don't know if it's coming. Do you see it? Is Caitlyn here? No. It's losing its steam. Well, no. How long till it loses?

No, it's just built. It's building? It's building? Are we building correctly? It's building anticipation. Like, I'm just hitting that, I'm watching that corner and nothing's happening. That was a gift.

Wow. Wait, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Let the box come around the corner. Sure, the message got through to Caitlyn. Should I go get her? No it is This is the music that was playing in my head when I tweeted that to me. I was like this is it Kyle I got you a gift you but stuck in Georgia what?

I have showed up in Atlanta. Yeah, okay No, we were all getting copy. Well, it's his birthday. I got him one. It's called out how deep. Well, here it is really building. Here we go. Really building. Oh, man. Is it that head? Any minute now comes and now any, any active four three two Ten activity Thank you fuck you fuck you to pieces This is a great gift shows how much you love him Kyle Spears. Oh he's back. Oh he's back. Oh god he's freaking out man. Oh man. He's starting to choke me. They are one of the three snakes. Oh. Kyle's very afraid of snakes. Oh my god. Wow what a gift. Yeah don't worry you said you were gonna love it. You said you were gonna love it. Do you love it? Oh?

All the man you crying brand did you love so much? Here sit up here. Oh, my god. Oh, here, sit up here. You're going to get hit by the mic. Yeah, Ollie, sit by the mic. You promised you were going to love it. I, yeah.

You didn't want a car. Crash! Ollie, it's getting tight. You're going to kick him for the show. Get him off, get him off. It's like really tight. There's about nothing I could do when he's like this. Ollie, get him off!

It's his birthday Okay, put him back in the box happy birthday Were you up was it getting tight it was getting really tight and you just never know Ollie sit down for second.. That's right, that's right. Oh my god. Where'd Brandon go? That got tight, huh? It got really tight and it was getting progressively tighter.

Do they do that? I just don't want to be a stat. This is the third largest species of constrictor snake. They have over 200 teeth. They do bite, not to chew. It's really a grabbing force. So when they bite and wrap it's one fluid motion. Does that guy bite? Occasionally. Occasionally. Does he pick you? No. I'm like fine with a snake bite. I don't do anything that would expose me to being bit. You know that's just it. I saved the funny games for you

guys. That was pure fear in your face. Yeah. yeah you got red there I'm not even afraid of like a snake bite it's the strangulation like it sure that's just it first you piss yourself and then and then you just goes from there you piss yourself that's the first thing right yeah you medic the most fucking nonchalant dude who just has death animals you'll piss yourself first okay don't

worry you didn't piss yourself oh should we put that on the wheel piss yourself first. Okay. Don't worry, you didn't piss yourself. Oh, should we put that on the wheel? Piss yourself? Yeah, instead of a sw- when you get swept, you have to get pissed. Python until you piss yourself. Yeah. Python. And we got bigger ones. Wait, what? That's a python? Yeah, it's a Burmese python. So they're the ones that are invasive. Oh, I'm really into that area. Right. Where were you before this, Ollie? Oh man, I did a school assembly. School assemblies all day, three back to back school assemblies. Holy shit. So, stay super busy.

Got a truck full of animals right now. Ollie, you're part of the Yak Lord now. You are. I hope you understand you're on call. Well hey, if you need a bug guy, a reptile guy, want to do some fear factor stuff going on, I got scarier stuff. What do you go? What?

Oh man, what would you say is you like? What do you think is the scariest if you had to oh man? I got animals that like you probably could not even imagine I mean animals you probably never heard of that are so freaky that'll try to go in your ears and stuff What was that big lizard you had this morning? I saw that that's a tegu lizard So that's got a goo her name is Godzilla very original But I we got big lizards big snakes that kind of thing if your tarantulas in your car right now I do have a no tarantulas. I have one birthday wish I brought an array of bugs so I would do 15 snakes before one

Tarantula, what do you think about? I think my biggest fear is is a bug going in my ear in my ear canal Yeah, that's pretty big you gotta gotta get used to that. You guys wanna do that to me. You're the man, Ollie. We were saying it on Friday, but like, you're perfect for your job. Yep, you're perfect. You fit in.

Yeah. Thanks, Kevin. Ollie, how did you get into this? Like, how did that? I've always had animals growing up. I'd catch a frog and garter snakes and bugs, things like that, and my parents were like, get all the animals you want when you get your own place.

So, as soon as I moved out of my parents got a 10 foot python Everything kind of followed from there so so you how many animals do you have in your home over a hundred? Holy over a hundred animals between how many different types of animals probably over 50 species have you had anything ever get out of the enclosure? um Yeah, I am renting so I don't know if I'm... Oh my god, if you were my neighbor. It is what it is. My cat is really good at like finding everything though, I must say. Oh, that's good.

I've had her smack a couple scorpions into the center of the living room that I didn't know were missing. And uh... My, my, the biggest thing is my capture rate is pretty good. It's about probably 50%. Oh, that's pretty good. 50%. Is that good? That is pretty good. Oli, I don't think that's good.

It's an F-minus. It's 50% because you either find it or you don't. Yeah, right, right. That's good. It's a pass fail system. Yes. Were you responsible for that? Yeah, fall Oli.

Fall Oli. Reptile then. No comment. Yes. Were you responsible for the outfitting? Yeah, fall all in. Yeah, fall all in. Yeah, the reptile then. No comment. Yes. So what do you do, like, recreationally with your pets at home if you're, like, bored? I just cuddle in bed with them and, no, honestly, half of my job is cleaning, so I'm usually scraping up reptile poop all day, so it's not all glamorous as it looks, but... Do you give a warning to people if they come over to your place for the first time?

Oh, well, I mean, I mean I have like no furniture at my place Go home and stand well, you know I'd like a desk chair You might be just a living embodiment of dudes rock yeah, yeah hundred fucking species in his house no furniture dudes rock yeah yeah hundred fucking species in his house no furniture yeah sometimes he finds him sometimes he does well you know I've dedicated my life to all these animals that I work with you know it's something that's so important to me so you know I could go without a couch and yeah kind of thing you know it is what is I got a bed I got my desk chair I could pull up YouTube you're living in Noah's Ark yeah there, there you go right? Yeah, Ollie Ollie's are you go?

Yeah, Kyle. Do you want it back around you what I mean? I would if I knew it there was a 100% chance it couldn't have some brain lapse and really strangled me What would you say 50% chance would you save the snake or Kyle? situation you have to snap it that was your answer oh no we don't have to but you do Brandon Brandon did you want to see the snake Burmese pie this is sunburst by the way sunburst very original name oh that's cool pretty color I guess right you just shed that's when they're right at right so the colors Jersey license play very cool. Wow.

Do you ever just stumble upon something like, oh, there's a African cockroach in my pillowcase? Sometimes. It's just like, I got air holes in all of my cockroach containers and sometimes when they give birth, the babies are smaller than the air holes. And then usually if I find,

if I'm in the bathroom and I find a cricket or something, pick it up, put them in my pocket, and when if I'm in the bathroom, and I find a cricket or something pick it up Put them in my pocket when I'm done in the bathroom. It just goes in one of the Your pocket, I'm starting to think you don't have an apartment you Is there like a Chicago reptile community like yeah, we all get together at like whatever it's Ali's house. It's pretty dead I don't want to start any drama, but like the community is pretty pretty dead wait was there drama Maybe there was All seen like Tiger King and stuff oh yeah

It's like it's like a pretty like watered-down Tiger King around here, so yeah Is there beefs yeah there there's beefs occasionally, but everyone's getting along right now anyway, so there's like rivalries and stuff between the reptile guys Oh, oh, yeah, my snakes better than yours. I know it's hard being Chicago lands greatest exotic animal You are someone's gotta be the number one. We just let that fucking go do its thing somewhere. Oh boy Like somewhere else here. She is the snake like what the fuck's happening right now? We like the building a nice time being out. I think it's gonna hang out. I might have to unbarst the logo. Oh my god Point it. Oh look at that Wow, how big is it that it's far? She's a baby. She's two years old. She's probably only she's probably like five foot

I reckon how much bigger will it get? Drupal quadruple watch this I mean This is my small we have every species a giant python in the world and this is definitely my smallest Example that I've got so how many years she hates you how many years till it grows to full size This is a female they grow much larger than the male so just within a couple of years. She'll be 10 foot You know right there 80 pounds 90 pounds. Oh, yeah. She's locked eyes. Seeking affection. Oh, go to Kyle. It's a birthday boy. It's a really sweet birthday.

In the bottle. Yeah. Said you'd love it. You loved it. I'm getting I'm warming up to it. All right. Well, Ollie, you're the man. This isn't the last we'll see you. I actually think if we can just already pre book you Mincy and Clemmer Day, we'll see you. I actually think if we can just already pre-book you, Mincy and Clemmer Day, we're gonna have to use you for that. Let's do it.

But yeah, you're on call now. Thanks guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the best. So we appreciate you coming back. Friday was so much fun. Hopefully you had fun. Of course. Yeah, and we'll see you soon.

I guarantee it. Very soon. Oh no, not in a couple days. There we go. Tomorrow. Yeah guarantee very soon. Oh, no, not in a couple days. There we go tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow. Bye Danny Conrad's fault. Yeah, this is the slipperiest of slope. Well, I texted Danny yesterday I was like, hey, can you text Ali Ali? This isn't a slope. This is a free fall It's a free snow and it wears it wears it end. It's not a slope at all Brandon in two weeks time. I'm gonna have to put a cockroach on my dick

He's gone yes, he is oh he is right there. Oh my god, but he's not coming back in Gruden in a snake Gruden and a snake That was a fun birthday gift I know I you were panicked I was we see a panicking way I know I would have panicked a simulation of like the worst way to ever. Yeah, I think in your head You made it feel tighter than it was Perhaps but it was getting tighter Like it was a snake wrap doesn't like if he was just like her there's no chance you're good No, he's not he does the opposite. He's the complete opposite. I think he plays into it. He does but it's it's not

Comforting yeah, it's like on Friday when we're like do they bite and they're like yeah They got hollow-tipped fangs and they could bite you like that wasn't the answer we wanted No bedside manner. Yeah, does he have to like legally say it's there's a chance Maybe Holly. I'm Does he have to like legally say there's a chance? Maybe. Holly, he is the best. Just the part, like, it's great watching someone who's like, he's just in his dream job.

This is what he was born to do. Every square inch of his body is a reptile. A reptile. I love the no furniture. It's perfect. 50% chance of getting back. It's perfect 50% chance That's really bad. Yeah, really bad half of his creatures are loose Happy birthday. Thank you. Yeah, no worries

Hey, hey Brandon coach, why are you so rude to Ali you just want to say hi I Saw him. I shook his hand. Are there any like hardcore football guys who are like shamelessly a pussy about something? Yes, 100%. I think there's a lot of a lot of football heights guy, right? Probably there's a lot of football players wouldn't fuck with snakes. I think magic tricks. I mean like a coach. I don't think coaches can be pussies.

They just can't. He's just he's just talking football. He's not even worried about his like, I shoulders are tense. shoulders are tenses. Yeah, he's a little tense. He's not in relaxed. Where does this end? Right with Ali? Right? Right. This is a can. Oh, he's on retainer. Two straight shows. Yeah, he's on retainer. I'm trying to think. I think a cockroach, a big one would be worse. Yeah. A snake. A mace. A tarantula. Listen, he's not that expensive to have him come here and it's worth it.

Every time he comes. He's our friend now. Yeah, he's Ollie is a core member of the Yak. He's he's gonna be on the logo tomorrow. TJ, go through his Twitter and find bad tweeter. Just in case. We tweeted Elon. He's got a handle now. He's Barstool. How we snake almost choke out. Did it. Yeah. that's a great birthday present though Kyle had to tap Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you to pieces! Oh, he's back! It's his birthday boy! Oh my birthday guy! Happy birthday, bro! Big guy, this is a great gift! It's a great gift!

It shows how much you love him! What does the guy do? That's it all! Kyle, you are... I've been around you with rediscovering and snakes and you hate... It's like a genuine fear. Yeah, you went right for it. You wore it like an Ivy League that was that was crazy that was crazy didn't love that tuck the snake in it gets yeah here's fine there it started to get tighter so anytime it moves it's gonna start through the dog in the burning house I could see your face too, it's getting redder. Yeah, don't worry, you said you were gonna love it. You said you were gonna love it.

Do you love it? Oh my God. It actually does look like it's getting a little bit more snug around your neck. Still good. People are, let's see him tapping. I would have tapped too, Kyle. Here, sit up here.

Olly, here, sit up here. By the mic. Olly confirmed that you would save the snake's life over Kyle's. It's a good omen. You didn't want a car. Ollie, it's getting tight. Get him off, get him off. It doesn't look that bad. It felt worse.

Maybe I was imagining things. It was pretty tight. It's getting tighter oh man oh look at this everyone's loving the snake happy last day Titus wasn't fun yeah yeah that would have So makes this show fun you never know when a guy's gonna run around the corner of the snake and wrap around your neck The next couple days just don't know Maybe today will only could literally be around the corner at any moment now could play that's

Really? That's a good. That's a thrilling thing. Oh that by the way, that's our new co-worker. We should probably get him in. Who's that guy? Mike! He was the center at Indiana. Yeah. All right. Before Mike gets here, Game Time, we love getting out to live events whether it's a concert or football game or a comedy show. We always use Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You know what's real love game time now with their brand new game time picks feature. They're making it even easier to get to a game. Game time picks, filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats. So you have, uh, so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. I was looking at the nuggets bowls with Joker in town.

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my game day ritual. Mountain Dew Baja Blast is as exciting as a 98 yard pick six or putting a snake around your neck. Tropical lime flavor Mountain Dew Baja Blast is refreshing as winning a playoff game. So ride the Baja wave on game day and grab Mountain Dew Baja Blast for you and your crew wherever refreshing beverages are sold. Alright, so we got a new employee, Mike Caddick. Mike, what's up? What's going on? Talking to Mike. Mike is a Caddick or Kadek. Kadek. Fuck,

I fucked him. You asked him. I know. 30 minutes ago. I fucked it up. Brandon, I'm sorry. Okay, it's alright. So Mike is just graduated from the University of Indiana Was center for their football team played for the last six years. Yeah. Well, uh Could have could have been in the NFL draft this upcoming year Decided Barstool Sports is a better option true and Dave text me He's like I think I got a guy for you and he just sent me He just put me on an email

With Mike and then next thing I know I was just like alright come on in and we don't even know what he's gonna Do but he's here. Yep. I am here. I'm so blessed to be here. Yeah great decision Yeah, I was doing the combine thing today, and I was like You know if this job didn't come up. I would be actually training for the actual combine Yeah, so uh no, I'm really excited to be here and yeah. Yeah Yeah, thank you. Yeah great season two new employees one day you and ollie. Yep. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I was just handling that snakes pretty cool. So what what what do we what do we think first? I mean you got here at 9 a.m. Today. You're moving so his first official day is gonna be March 1st

here at 9 a.m. today you're moving so his first official day is gonna be March 1st overall what are your thoughts about this setup and what you what you want to do I saw Jerry was Jerry's already trying to put his teeth in you being like let's play video games together yeah I don't really play video games but um no my head's kind of spinning a little bit there's so many new people to meet and and all this cool stuff, but yeah, I'm pumped. This is what I think I was born to do. Love it. And football's great, but I think this is my thing.

So I'm super excited to move in here and start officially March 1st. I think I'm going to take Jake's apartment. Love that. So yeah, I got a setup and I got a lot of friends out here from IU and white boy Rick, who's the most passionate Hoosier I've met so far. So yeah. Yeah, he's probably gonna try to date you. I move in with you.

Yeah, Pittsburgh guy. So snow snow. Oh, right on. There we go. Oh, white boy Rick. White boy Rick's really amped up. Yeah. I hope there's room in his mom's basement.

He was tweeting about me a bunch during the season and so happy. I don't put two and two together but yeah he was good on Twitter to me. Yeah. How did Dave find you? So Anthony Liel who's on the men's basketball team. So Dave went to Hoosier Osteria which is like the basketball kind of pep rally and

Anthony reached out to Dave on my behalf and Dave told him to email email him I sent him three clips of me in the media and he's like yeah, you're hired Yeah Awesome. It's a very Dave thing. He was like not only you're hired, but here Dan you take them Yeah, and figure it out and we'll figure it out. Oh, yeah, we'll figure it out. Are you from Indiana? No, I'm from Pittsburgh Oh, oh, yeah, I will figure it out. Are you from Indiana? No, I'm from Pittsburgh. Oh Yeah, yeah Good guy pine richland. Do you want to ask him if he?

Gibsonia yeah Didn't wrestle I did wrestle. Oh Not in high school though. Yeah, everyone wrestles in the way. Yeah, I was pretty good one year and then I Kind of couldn't make the weight. Where do you know if not high school? Wait preschool. Oh like like I kind of couldn't make the weight. Where do you...if not high school? What? Preschool. Oh like middle school? Middle school? Yeah. Even younger than that maybe.

But yeah, then I got put on weight. My dad was like, yeah you should probably stick to football and lose wrestling. So yeah, here I am. You're wrestling that young? Yeah. It is crazy to me, we were talking earlier, so you... Three years old. I know she did. There's a four and under. What? Category at the West Virginia Tournament. You were cutting weight. I was, yeah. I was cutting to 45. So you would have, you would

have potentially been drafted in, you were saying like fourth, fifth, sixth round. Yeah. Like, basketball sports. Yeah. That's pretty. That's pretty cool. It's my passion. Media. I went to Big Ten media days and Lucas oil. And after that people coming up to me like, dude, you should be in front of a camera. Like you look natural up there. I was like, you know what, and then I did a bunch of interviews and podcasts throughout the year. And I was like, you know, this is what I truly love to do. And I just want to explore year. And I was like, you know what, this is what I truly love to do and I just wanna explore it.

And Barstool was like a dream job of mine. And it just happened so fast. And love it. So you like clowning at the media days or what? Yeah, well, yeah. It's already out there, but I'll say this again. The one woman that was interviewing us up on the Stay of the Live show was like,

so how'd you get into football? And I was like well my sister did you know ballet figure skating and gymnastics? And I would always go with my mom to all these practices And I was like can you sign me up for these and then my dad was like dude? Like I'm signing up for football. I can't keep going to these recitals and figure skating and your mom's making me videotape this shit. And I'm like, dude. I was like, all right, dad, I'll do it.

And then I kind of found the love for football and was good at it. And so I left all that. Have you met Stephen Che yet? Yeah. When were you first? Well, we briefly met in the cave. So we didn't really break it down.

Yeah, he's going to bother you. It's all right. Do you ever get in the mud so we didn't really yeah he's gonna bother you do you ever get in the mud with college football media people they like talk shit on Indiana not really I don't really give a shit about it like yeah not really I just kind of focus on the season and things like that it's great season yeah how about that try try what to get in the mud with people that talk yeah absolutely yeah yeah what would you say to people that are like, you guys are frauds and... Yeah, well there's been a lot of that.

I was talking to Tate, he said we should have forfeited the Ohio State game. And I was like, no, dude, that just wouldn't have been good. Yeah, but what about like number one college football media people being like, Indiana's bullshit, they played nobody, they suck, they're frauds. Cute story, but bad team. Like Mr. Walker like Indiana's bullshit. They played nobody they suck their frauds cute story, but that's your walk. Yeah. Yeah. Oh It wasn't you talked to you talk some shit out there. Hello Mike Welcome to Barstool. Yeah, thank you. It was the real snake good to have you here. Yeah Wow, talk us through that punt Ohio State no in Notre Dame when when you punted in the down 17 point down 17 yeah I'm not a talker

talk us through a word go through your head there you're like this is this is a good play that will help us win I don't know if I want to comment on that. You don't play for him anymore. I know, but I still love the guy. I still thank him for bringing me back for six years. But yeah, I don't know. He only lost by 10. And you know, I'm on the field. I'm on the field. I hear punt. I run off. I sit down. I drink water and I kind of let the head coach make his decisions. By the way, did you guys see his first interaction with Gruden? I, down, I drink water, and I kind of let the head coach make his decisions. Mm-hm. By the way, did you guys see his first interaction with Gruden? I likened it to when two dogs see each other at the dog park and sniff each other's butts.

But for football guys, this is the first time they've met. John Gruden, why ain't good as soon as you get in that stance. Oh, immediately. I grew to this point. Why ain't good to see you? Let's get in that stance here. You're gonna get me. Oh, immediately. Right now. Really fucking funny. Hey, let's get in that stance. Just instantaneously get in that stance.

All right, let's get in that stance. Get in that stance here. I got that formality out of the way, that gay shit. Oh, so perfect. Get in that stance. Oh, man, I was in that stance for too long. Let's see what you got. That's so awesome.

I'm pumped to work with him and yeah down film. Yes. Oh, just talk ball man. Yeah, that's what he does. Um, all right. Well, Mike, welcome. Uh, and yeah, we're excited for you. Yeah. You got like social media handles. What do you got? Yeah. Instagrams at Mike dot KDIC, um, Twitter at KDIC Michael. Oh no, that's the wrong one. Yeah, I had one that I got locked out of. Uh oh, Mike. Why did you get locked out of? I don't know, I think I got hacked, there it is.

Did you make a dishead Elon? No. No, oh there we go, I gained like 500 followers today. Oh, today's gonna be a big day for your follower. I'm pumped There is so everyone go for the Notre Dame game and the header and where are what do you let me see that picture? It's the captain's anything and like if we go the if we get caught in a situation where we're down 17 You've better puns. Okay, we better fucking Because my nickname growing up was Big Cat.

I know, so you might just, I might just hold you as, so I can just fuck off. Yeah. I said that out loud and Nicky Smokes came into my office and was like, are you retiring? Dude, he came into the Anis studio and he was like, hey, should I be worried? Yeah.

And he also came up to me a minute ago and he's like, I got this awesome idea. We should have a flag football team with John Gruden. I was like yeah that's a great idea that we talked about a month ago. Anytime he comes up to you say oh you have to take that up with Mike now. Yeah yeah. It didn't help that I destroyed him in the bench press competition. Oh hell yes. He was saying yeah you know I bet 375 in my prime and I was like oh I'm expecting some good numbers. Sorry smokes.

I don't want to catch a stray here. Alright Mike, well thank you man. Yeah, appreciate it. Welcome aboard. Thank you very much. You want to get hazed or something? You want to guess the boys average dick size? You want to fart?

No, I was actually thinking about farting in the cave. You want to rock down your dick size was actually thinking about farting in the cave See if it drops or Crazy I mean average at best okay. That's what I yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna be average here. You know yeah Oh, I strive for greatness. Well. Yeah, I mean if you're over six point two six sixty six is that the average Yeah, we're big Zod's got a foot. I might be a guy to your left. That's just ruining the average. Okay. It's me Yeah, oh no Yeah

So naturally second nature walk to the urinal All right, well, thanks Mike yeah, thank you man. Thank you guys Seen the tunnel. Oh, yeah, you want to see a tunnel what tunnel? Okay, you show them the tunnel show them the tunnel come on Call TG call TG. Oh god, Kate. Every time. Eight. Yeah. Show the tunnel Monday morning. A lot of heater this week. How many

sorrys? She's gonna open it right back up. Luke. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You better. Well, no, Luke will just shove her. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Okay, he's going to the time. There's let's see what he thinks. Oh, can I say something controversial? Yeah, I'm glad I'm witnessing history to see a potential three people might get a camera rooting for the chiefs. But then the thing we do is run. Yep. I'm rooting for the Chiefs. But then the thing we make people do is...

Run. Yep. I have to run down the whole thing? In ten seconds. Ten seconds? They're back? Yes. What?

Okay, ready? Wait, wait, wait. I just touched that reel? Yes. It's my account. That'd be nice. Ultra's still there. On your mark, get set, go. He's pretty quick. He is pretty quick.

Oh no. This is hard to watch. Why, I'm an idiot! He didn't even try the door he just knows He knows He knows I'm so fat Is this thing live? Holy shit Fuck Fuck. What can I do in here?

Alright. Yeah, so he's just in the tunnel now. Let him out of five. First day, good first day. Oh man. Kate, you're making enemies day one. Yeah, I'm out of five. I'm out of five first day good first day

Man Kate you're making enemies day one. Yeah, he's gonna eat you that was extra evil making them run like yeah No, I never would've made a run. He was loitering by the door. I know you guys wanted me to do All right, oh Trapped maybe go get him oh that would be that would be funny very funny oh please don't oh yeah go get him but walk slow walk real slow oh no is he gonna leave gonna leave? Oh, no one's ever done this yet. Oh, no Oh, that's faster. Oh, no. No go get a battery. Go get him. He's got the battery Go get him and run Great he's out in the cold get him get him Brandon hurry. Oh my god Luke He's gonna lock himself in the... Luke push Brandon! Oh. Hi. What are you doing? Go Luke. Luke! I saw him for Oh Luke he had a moment

But it's so fun, oh man You were saying you wanted to suck Patch Wilhelm's dick? Yeah. I think at this point, yeah, that's the coolest outcome. It's root for history. So watch. My whole thing is like, if you want to be a hater, just be a hater. It doesn't matter.

Chiefs fan shouldn't care if people are hating. That's the difference between them and the Patriots. The Patriots embraced the evil. They're not there yet. Yeah They're but like what does it matter if like also people should be able to root however they want they want to hate them Yeah, they're witness great. Hey, but is there is there their gameplay hateable? That was Kate Kate did that Kate did that. No their gameplay isn't hateable. I think their issue is they want to be likeable. Shouldn't lean into it.

I think this Taylor Swift part makes it a little cum. I hate her. She's wearing Eagles gear. Just kidding. I don't hate her. Shouting out the Eagles and then she wants to go over there. You just hate her fans? No, I don't hate her okay. I was joking I Don't want that smoking you love her. What should Jason Kelsey wear to the game? Or nothing other He's gonna wear Eagle stuff. He might not maybe split yours

I'll be crazy something low-key that doesn't make him stand out. Yeah, and I bet you'll be quiet like a podcast Yeah and low key that doesn't make him stand out. Yeah, and I bet you'll be quiet. Like a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. So you're rooting for the Chiefs? Big time. I'm also rooting for the Chiefs. Oh. I don't like the idea of having to root for somebody to win three in a row,

and I would like to root against a team that's already won two, but I can't root for the Eagles. Nick, do you think you'll root for the Chiefs next year? The fans just suck. Yes. Are you just a Chiefs fan now, or you're just like, I wanna see Patrick Mahomes How sick would that be to be a Chiefs fan?? The fans are just sucked. Yes. Are you just a Chiefs fan now, or you're just like, I want to see Patrick Mahomes? How sick would that be to be a Chiefs fan?

10 straight Super Bowls. It'd be the sickest. Yeah. Every game, it's like, oh, it's OK. Patrick Mahomes will figure it out. People shouldn't be mad. They should start just being fans as the Chiefs. Yeah.

I just really wanted John to get to the Super Bowl. I did too. Really bad. Titus, be a Chiefs fan. Yeah. Congrats. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Congrats. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Congrats. It's that easy. That does seem way more fun. So you're not going to not be a Chiefs fan. So your hatred for Philadelphia outshines? I think it does. Well, I don't have any hatred for the Chiefs. I should be able to manufacture it

because they've been so good for a couple of years. But if that's bullet point one, you realize that's like a character flaw within yourself. Probably. You're like, I hate these people because they're good it's like it's kind of a reflection on you right if it's not yeah if there's no other reason to hate them I have a future on the Eagles that's why I'm really good I probably wouldn't care as much what are the bills do what do they

just hope something happens to my home like literally have, it feels like they've tried everything they could possibly try. And they're just not ever going to beat the Chiefs. No. How many times has he lost now to Patrick Mulder? Three in the playoffs? Four. I think it's four.

It's three. I think it's three. It's three. The fourth time was to, he lost to the Bengals last year. Yeah. No, two years ago. Or, no. Yeah. He lost to the Bengals last year. Yeah. No, two years ago. Or no. Yeah, it was the Chiefs last year.

OK, two years ago. Divisional round. When did the Bengals walk in and? That was two years ago. Can they become an NFC team? What's the problem? I feel like that might be easier. Josh Allen had already been to two Super Bowls.

File the paperwork to switch contenders somehow. Yeah. They should be independent. Yeah, I got the paperwork to swallow brewers. Yeah, they should be independent Yeah, the Notre Dame route one of the people Buffalo to your own schedule come down to the New Orleans and just Buffalo Philly fans at one place. Oh, that's the dream Would have been incredible. I Think it's also just because it's a rematch people are yeah, it's our second year in a row for a rematch Just because it's a rematch people are yeah, it's our second year in a row for a rematch What are they if you had to place the odds like out of a hundred percent bills have this much chance of winning the bills

Like what is over the next five years? No, no like this next game the bills have a zero percent chance of winning zero zero They're not in it. They're a law. It was last night It was last night. Yeah, they're out Bills are out they lost how many mushrooms super? Do you not have any chance of winning the Super Bowl this week? I guess maybe there's a 0.001 percent chance if your team is the one to watch the Eagles game And then it was bath time. Yeah, you're right Yeah I had a whole other game and then I know but I was doing bath time and putting the kids to bed And there was somebody was saying how many baths you call doesn't stop for bedtime You're like the world stops at bath and bedtime for like four hours

hmm, so fuck Okay, the chiefs won huh yeah, yeah, so that explains a lot of the tweets. I've seen this morning Girl was like it's me. I'm the good luck charm sweets this morning. Thanks a lot, Sets. Like, congratulations. KansasCityPotatoGirl was like, it's me. I'm the good luck charm. The tweets of Patrick, my home, sold the trophy. OK. Now I get it.

All right. Oh my god. Who's KansasCityPotatoGirl? I've been a fan of hers now. I can't be free. She goes, she brings hot, she brings potatoes in her pockets, hot ones to keep herself warm, and then she eats them by the end.

Oh. I had a thing for you. They won Super Bowl every time. She started doing it two years ago. I had a thing for you Kate. I saw something on the internet that reminded me of you recently TJ can you pull up Chevy chases tick-tock? Oh, no There she is I used to be a fan I can't root for her anymore right now Just pull up Chevy ch's tick-tock I mean it might be right there. Oh, no Chevy Chase looks just like you

What is it? It's just like when you get past 70, you just become a lesbian Kate? What is that? Why did Chevy Chase become you, Kate? I've also been getting tagged in the mom from the Sopranos. Tony's mom. Oh, Olivia?

Oh, no, Kate. That one was painfully accurate. We have a Chevy Chase at home I mean He's famous. Yes. Yeah, he's cool. Yeah, I Like Chevy Kate better Chevy Kate pull it up again. That is I mean, that's Kate TJ. Can you do the overlay? Oh, man? Cuz I just need to find one difference. There's not.

No. Oh. Tall, he's taller? We have the same hair. That's Kate. We have the same hair. Fuck. If that person walked in today being like,

I tweeted at Elon yesterday, we'd have been like, oh okay. It's the same picture. I mean, there's gotta be something different. Oh my god. Is he wearing two of the same shoes He's doing what the fuck is he doing? Yeah? He's doing a cat says vacation expert under his name fair Shout out Calahari Resorts if you guys want to send me and my family to your resort since I look like you're

Your guy We're gonna find out Resorts if you guys want to send me and my family to your resort since I look like you're your guy We're gonna find out oh My god Yeah, that's tough. That's you from the future My god you still look like when you cry No, it's not bad. It's not It's more him than you yeah, yeah, okay? Looking like me

You look like this much younger woman Okay, tough Monday for. Yeah. Whole money grabs. Hey, I'm in a spiral. Oh my god. I'm sweating. Lot of questions. Yeah. Anxiety. It'll be okay. Um Brandy, why don't you Steven Singer and Draft Kings pick six? We have something else big today. Oh. T. did you send me that link? I saw it. I saw it around the office. Ready for the best gift for Valentine's Day. Everyone knows a Steven Singer Jewelers Gold Dip Rose is a real rose dipped in real 24 karat gold that lasts a lifetime. But you don't want to miss out on this brand new Valentine's Day rose. It's magnificent.

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Whoa, that's how you know, it's bad Let me call. Are you guys nervous for tomorrow? Yes. Hey Trish. Yeah, we should talk about that. Let me see if this person can join I was like trying to drink a bunch on Saturday to like see where I practice. Get your tolerance. It didn't go great. But I think that's for the best for this. Yeah. The rules, TJ, do we have the rules set? The rules we talked about, yeah. They're making... So it's going to be the first 15 minutes, how many?

Or is it 20 minutes? What did we decide? Let me pull it up. So it's Battle Royale is the theming. And like in a Battle Royale game, there is a number that you have to be in front of in order to have your team stay alive. So we said 15 minutes will start 10 beers per team. So each team has to have 10 beers. You can

go past that, but you have to be above the number which the first 15 minutes will be 10. After 10 minutes we'll spin for the next 10 minutes number or the next 20 minutes number. Yeah. So at the the 10 minute mark will spin a wheel to see how many beers you have to be above in the next 20 minutes to stay alive. Yeah, and we'll keep and we'll just keep going bigger and bigger. I'm fine with that and the wheel will be like so so 15 minutes. Everyone's gotta get the baseline of 10 beers done and then you keep drinking and it's it's 20 minute

intervals. So halfway through the 20 minute interval will spin and it will be numbers 11 through 19. And whichever it hits, your team has to be at that. Oh, cool. And then we do it again after that, 21 through 29. And it just keeps going up and up and up. And you hope that it's like 21 and not 29. And then we also will have a Deutsch,

every team will have one usage of Deutsch. It's a, if you don't use it, you lose it time out. Oh. So you can't take Deutsch with you. Okay. Can't take them home with you. Could it carry over to the next case race? I don't think so.

No, you have no carry over. Okay. You lose it. You lose your Deutsch. I like this. So yeah, you can hit the Deutsch button and then Deutsch will come in and chug beers for your team for a minute. A limited amount of Deutsch? Each team gets one Deutsch, so there will be four Deutsch's used.

We've never done anything more than one Deutsch. Is there anything you could do to win a Deutsch? We could. Extra Deutsch's. An extra Deutsch competition. You gotta kiss Ollie. Okay. See, I'm paranoid that ollie is gonna like pop in it does seem Okay, let me just go in that save you the trouble he's look at his face of course ollie's popping in tomorrow

Kate it does it does although things are headed that And we kind of see a comment it's not gonna know I don't think it's gonna hit at all any and I did have a conversation yesterday when we were planning Ollie and we were like should we, should come Monday for Kyle's birthday or should we come Tuesday for the case race? And I was like, case race would be funny but also drunk people with like bugs that we could kill, probably not a good idea. I feel like someone smushed a tarantula. We called the Grinch instead.

Yeah, so there's no Ollie. I'm cool with that. I wanted the Grinch. I wanted the Grinch instead. Yeah, there's no Olly I want back Dana beers is already here. Well, he was in the background. Yeah, he showed up a day early get ready I love that. Yeah, it's the best. He's like got to get used to the altitude or something Get a good night's sleep He's just so is it like an hour and a half of drinking or a full two hours? No, it's whenever your team doesn't meet the... Why would a boy wreck a sleep?

Yeah, right, but it starts right off the top guy. Yeah, Brandon will be the ref, so he'll start us, but the storm keeps coming in, so eventually we're gonna get to a number where teams will just be dropping out. And then last team wins. Everything he does does I love. Yeah. I can't help myself. Explain to someone that I'm currently fine in Chicago but I myself at work should drink a bunch of beers

in a costume with my coworkers who are also drinking a bunch of beers in costumes. They looked at me like I had 17 heads, not totally sure why. Why do you have by myself? The only thing different from what he usually does is wearing a costume. Yeah.

Yeah, he's an adult flying by himself. That's not that weird. Right, he's an adult flying by himself By myself I imagine Dana sitting on the plane like looking next to me like you believe they didn't even put a guardian with me Yeah, I'm doing this Do this by myself the flight attendants not even gonna walk me to my parents 32 years old flying by'm flying by myself. Who would have ever thought it? Nobody else. Look at me.

I want him to get drunk enough. I want him and Will to do a small off. TJ, let me know when the person is joined and then we'll do the other person too. So we have Two more people? Yeah. Multiple persons. Oh wow. Multiple persons. Also note about Deutsch, last time,

he was already drunk when he got here. Oh yeah. This time he's gonna be fresh. Yeah, he's done the nine. What? Do we know that? I don't know about that. That is the wildest of us all.

Never mind, never mind. We've been here all day. Fresh. All right. Yeah, I mean tomorrow's a huge day because I think JOC's gonna be here in the morning So he'll come on the yak. Holy shit. Which will be here Like I think everyone who's gonna be on the case race will be here during the day

So we'll have them all stop by the yak tomorrow. Do we know what Deutsch is gonna be dressed as the Hitler is he? But I should probably tell him don't dress as Hitler. Pat Summitt dressed as Hitler. Oh, that's fine. Was Pat Summitt his doing? Yeah, 100%. Okay, I think just give him the ball and let him do whatever he wants. But what if it's Hitler? Oh, we could turn that into Charlie Chaplin real quick.

Give us the armband. I wanna get ahead to, we have a volunteer day at PAWS on Wednesday morning. Yeah, really bad planning by me. We're gonna go help out homeless pets at 8 a.m. on Wednesday morning. Yeah, really bad planning by me. We're going to go help out homeless pets at 8 AM on Wednesday. Yeah. I'm going to be treating them. It's going to be horrendous.

You're going to be cleaning up after me. Yeah. Really bad planning. Also, hibachi day on Thursday. Oh. Oh. Yeah. When do we put it?

Really? Yeah. Wow. Week's going to rock. This week is going to rock. We've got a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah Yeah, well he's gonna rock This week is gonna rock. We got a lot of stuff So we have two I know the one that's gonna be on this program soon. Yeah, there's a second. Yeah, they have a lot It's about um chase text about the yeah. Oh, oh, you know side that though. So che what is that text you got? So it's two people that met online, Jimmy and Rachel. And they are having their,

they're both big Yak fans watch every day and their first date is tomorrow in Orlando and asked if we'd be open to setting a rough itinerary. Who reached out, Jimmy or Rachel? Jimmy. I think they have to start off immediately and fuck. Wait. Fuck first.

Wait, so they're Yak fans that met through the yak no they I Don't know what app they met on but they met online and one of things they talked about was the yak How quickly can we get theuck coin. Down to Orlando. Mmm. Oh. Send it to her. Right. She can fuck his ass. Yeah. So Assfuck, then dinner.

Alright, so where should they go to dinner? Are they from Orlando? They both live there. That's what I mean. Let's go to Rainforest Cafe. You think? I don't know. I just said a thing. Orlando.

Couldn't tell you anything about Orlando other than the parks. Yeah, the two hour wait for Denny's. Sausage Castle. What about Dave and Buster's? Yeah, Dave and Buster's. Hell. Ooh, that wouldn't be bad. That would actually be, that really is good.

Let's see him at Dave and Buster's. If you, if Jimmy and Rachel end up getting married, we'll all go to the wedding okay, no pressure on them That'd be sick. It's fine. We could all be ring bears. What if they get divorced? We'll go to all go that We'll go to this proceedings. We'll help them split up their shit. I have to go are they open to us planning the whole date Think that's what they want. Yeah, oh maybe all right. What is there to do in Orlando other than? He says I thought it'd be a great idea for the act to choose our first date first date

She watches every day as well, and we'll do whatever the act decides could put ideas on we'll anything is on the table Go on look up worst review hot pot Maybe make them do parkour Should we spin a wet wheel for them? Oh? Yeah, they have to go get wet one of them has paintball But they not in a paintball place. Yeah in like an alley playing paintball. Yeah in a parking lot This place a paintball. There's an ice bar There's a nice garden. They could walk through. I don't want to be nice. Yeah, you're Change your expectations here. Oh have them go go see that, the Boner movie.

Oh, the Stephen Chase Boner movie. Baby Girl? Yeah. They probably already seen it. Not a bad idea. You rocked up. Or go see, what was the movie you saw with no words? It was a kids movie?

Hundreds of Beavers. Okay, they can't leave until he gets a boner. They should go flow? Oh, flow, sorry. It's a PG animated movie, there's no human sound. You pervert. What about the Pirates Adventure Indoor Dinner Show? That sounds good. That's a 300,000 ton gallon lagoon.

That sounds great. Where they eat dinner. Where you eat dinner at. That sounds really cool. Do they dress as pirates? They dress as baseball players. Great where they eat dinner where you eat dinner at it that sounds really cool. Wow, okay? They dress as baseball players. Yeah, it's Bergpike all skeins. They have to go live you done in Paul skeins He dresses as Libby done. She dresses as Paul skeins Giles one has to hold a grenade Yeah I wanted to donate bone marrow before they go Well have fun with this yeah

Pirates dinner adventure. I've never seen a Brian Giles with a grenade um Should they have to dress as their favorite yak members who one dress oh even Che the other one dresses is So this is like this is they gotta go to yeah, it's amazing It's not until it doesn't start till tomorrow night. Okay, don't do tomorrow night tomorrow night is the date. Oh, yeah Oh perfect. There's tickets available for seven. There we go. Yes. There we go. All right, that's just five seconds off of every Game thing is a little scary. Yeah, that was crazy. That's crazy. Do the Bills have a chance? I...

It's not zero. Not only one. I thought it was a Monday night game. I guess technically if the Chiefs plane crash, they'd have to send the Bills. Is that what happens? I don't know. Well, we don't know.

We've never been there. Sean Harkley will tell us. Yeah, unpalpably. I have the power to send the Bills to the Super Bowl. That was they just those dropped a new rule on us dropped two of them really the blended clock Yeah, the one in the Chiefs game unpalpably I saw that and I I got a little woke on PMT But it isn't it a little interesting that they dropped a new rule on us Right before the Chiefs play in a Super Bowl and there might so now when they do unpalpably unfair acts in award the Chiefs of touchdown everyone's

like well we know that rule. Yeah. Wow. We learned about it last week. To make sure you know it wasn't unpalpably it was just palpably. Yeah. Palpably unfair acts. It's Chekhov's palpably.

Ism. Yeah. Oh yes. So once you introduce it you now have to use it. You have to use it. You have to use it. Correct. It's like the Deutsch time out. Well Chek introduce it in the ball have to use it you have to use have to use I like the do each time. I'll check off with the dogs That's like when the Chick-fil-a guy comes here every day wait, who's the guy that had a cat? Huh Schrodinger Schrodinger?

I will not eat box your box green box Case race rule question yeah right now. I have Only one team can do each per cycle yes Because I figured we one don't want to double do it and to don't get double do it We tried it we tried it does need at least a second to reset his shore So we'll have to figure out how who who gets dibs on the Deutsch first place came team can't do it. Yeah Well that I like that or yeah There was some sort of like challenge to earn your Deutsch or like if two teams chat two teams battle for their door rock He doesn't shoot for the Deutsch or like a high- high pressure free throw two for three on free throws

Yeah When one one-on-one knockout or they all chug off Could you hug off we do a golden beer situation like a golden ticket? But how I don't know you know some way for each team to activate their Deutsch or if like two teams want to do it So and only one can yeah, it can't be the first and second It has to be the third and fourth place yeah, or whatever You know if the fourth place team uses their Deutsch it would be the first and second. It has to be the third and fourth place. Yeah. Or whatever. If the fourth place team uses their Deutsch, it'll be the second and third place team the next round.

But you're right. I mean, we could just wheel it. Yeah. Because everyone's going to use their Deutsch. And then that's the Deutsch. As the key comes out, and there's a wheel of times. Yeah, so what was the? I think I said it'd be like there

would be a wheel of times for Deutsch 30 seconds one minute two minutes I like that see how much there's some strategy of when to use your Deutsch Use them early when you're not drunk, but he'll be maybe not as good as drinking later on. It's tricky I'm excited to see mangle mangle. Yeah, so much just text to me. He's at the airport You guys got a team text going on. Oh, yeah, Danny. I guess not just me and mangled Pass it on today. It was just a couple texts gonna harness it use it tomorrow You're gonna wish I was in that group chat. Can I don't have a group? Can I see something that's probably embarrassing but I dreamed about the case ratio ass like that's not embarrassing

These are things I look forward to. Well, you didn't even let me finish. It was embarrassing for you, Nick, because we had to pause the Case Race because we couldn't find gluten-free beer. That's realistic. Oh, I got sick Friday. From the antique?

Oh, you did? From the antiquey? Yeah, yeah. No shit. I was up pretty late. No shit. People were asking. What happened? H hives puking

I just uh just like one little puke But then it was just like my insides felt like I instead of eating flour ate a bunch of like knives and tacks then uh How did that get into your body right? It was fun, I'm glad I did it it was uh a... No you're not. Yeah I am. Okay. Sometimes I like getting sick. On the weekend. Kind of a recent? On a Friday night. The first post sick meal was pretty good. Yeah. I feel like cleaned out truly. You're welcome. And we had to do it.

Had to. Well you were the flower guy. You were the spider guy. On behalf of the show you're welcome mm-hmm it was a tarantula as well that's they are spiders all right I do they are super seed spiders there are no if you want it would you you would be just as afraid of a spider as a tarantula no it would be the most afraid to know I'll just say a black green spider in next time yeah yeah I've never say a black widow. Spider in next time. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a black widow. I've seen one. I saw one when I was nine.

Shit, you don't forget. Was at my friend's house, Jamie. He moved away shortly thereafter. I don't think it was related to the black widow. He's a nice guy. Sucked at baseball, though. I don't know anybody that's ever been hurt or killed by an animal.

I knew a guy that got his, that lost these two fingers to a rattlesnake that'll do it he's like a Texas fan now but he he lost both Sam name was Sam yeah is he what's he doing now oh he's dead now he was old he might be dead I don't know my grandfather's dead and it was hit my grandfather's friend so I assume they're both dead wait a minute what You made a new friend this weekend. Wait, pause that because we have our guest. I want to hear the new friend though. We're not going to do the new friend. Oh, come on. All right. You know what? Bring on the Zoom and then bring in the person. Hey, Will. What's up, boys? Brandon, Who's the friend? I worry about the friend in a

minute. We got something else. I bring in the person. Hey, well, well, when do you land tomorrow? When do you land tomorrow? I think I landed like four. Okay. Um, my God, well Will Compton Please meet Will Compton New one we've got a new Will Compton Will he see? In your linebackers Stan will Compton put you put on your headphones put the mic in front of you So we've replaced you with another Will Compton What do you think about this one? I love it. He looks

great. He looks great. Will, he's like you, but he's really funny and nice. And loyal. Tall. And loyal. Really tall. Very loyal. A skull full of realty. Yeah. He'd stick with us. He'd never leave us. There he is. Will Compton. I love him, man. Yeah, so will our Wilcompton When did you first realize you were Wilcompton? Very young age. I was when I was first born my parents gave me that name. I'm actually named after my dad He was the first Wilcompton Compton trifecta going here. Yeah Yeah, it's a great name. I've loved it ever since and and you have you have brought Yeah, it's a great name. I've loved it ever since and and you have you have brought

Memorabilia to put into the Wilcompton Museum. I have I'm told it's it's up and ready ready to be viewed Oh from what I've been told we got to see it. So yeah other Wilcompton Wilcompton who left We're gonna just add new Wilcompton to the Wilcompton Museum. If well, I guess you don't really have a say in this Yeah, we're just kind of telling no Listen, hey, we're happy to have you. No matter what, the love in that museum, the Willow Compton Museum is forever. Whether it gets taken down, added to, we all know how it started.

I tell you what, I've never met a bad Willow Compton, so I'm pretty sure the museum should live on forever. Yeah. I'm just glad to be a part of it. Stephen, can you go take some pictures? Willie C. What's your middle name? Eugene. We both have an E. Oh! Really really really see what is what's your middle name Eugene? We both have a e

E Compton will e wow wait. What are you will other? That's like Fleming Fleming's an Earl he is Frank Earl Fleming did you got did you breastfeed? Did I yeah, oh you're tall and strong. Yeah, so hey that's formula fed right there. I know you know actually I'm not sure I think I think I'm breastfed. Yeah, yeah Okay, I left my phone in there, but strong man Are you are you getting drunk with us tomorrow will I am not sadly have to fly back tomorrow night? Yeah, he lives in Texas fly back tonight. Excuse me. We only need one will come to the time Yeah, yeah, you're too would get confusing too would get true using true But so we're gonna find all the will Comptons just so you know will

Do I need to teach him the will Compton ways? I'd love that. I'd love to learn how you live life What are the ways you're living a pretty cool life so it'd be cool as he has the hugs Brandon Walker yet I don't think he will Compton you have never hugged Brandon Walker I hug you every time I see you do not you lying piece of lion shit We do Brandon b-walk we do a deaf and hug every time we DAP we don't hug I Call you be nasty. You call me comp nasty Making you sound really yeah, let's try it out Brandon. Well, I got yeah, he's never even hugged the first one come no But just say hey, what's up? Yeah, he's gonna hug the first one. Oh, but just say hey, what's up?

Come now. I'm as be safe. Come on. Are we going you again, bro? Are we going? Okay? Well, do I go DAP hug or just straight to hug? Dap hug like we do and then calm Just like you do you do all right? Here we go I've seen this scene before. Brandon's hard. Oh nice. I was gonna say the same thing to you. You're a way taller person. Yeah, I know. Well, computer small. Uh well, what else is? Oh, there it is. Look, there's there's the other Wilcoxon's jersey. Oh, look at that. Yeah, that's huge. Yep, that was my high school jersey. Uh I wore that

when I blew out my kidney funny enough Name the story is oh Look if you zoom in yeah, we added pictures to the will Get all the will Comptons. Yeah, look, you remember that Will, that your first, one of your interceptions, and then there you are at the TCU game. Wow, that is awesome. Oh, me and Gary, that's fun. That's great. Is that a photo inside the frame? I think so. Yeah, that's a photo inside the frame. So it's a photo inside the frame immortalized. Yeah. We're just collecting

all the will confidence. Look, we have, we gotta see it. We gotta see a pun set. Yeah. What? Let's see a punch. Oh, all right. So, well, what else is our new will have to learn a punt set? Okay. But other, other things about being Will Compton, uh, what else I do? The pose, uh, you'd gotta, you gotta let, you gotta go on anus with a Nick and KB. Yeah, he does that. You gotta allow them to talk circles and will the biggest coaching point there is just make sure you laugh every Time even though you don't know what's being said. Yeah, just laugh perfect that I can do you're a great guest Do you want to give him the number one key to being well Compton farting? No?

Yeah, it would be farting. We might have to go Right now I guess farting, but I was also gonna say like become best friends with us for five years, and then leave us That's I'd love to be best friends. Okay. Yeah And you gotta leave but new will you have to be like the best friend ever like anytime I need you you answer quickly yeah, and then one day Then you just pull it all yeah, then you oh, actually it's always just been about the boys. Well, I'll be your best friend if you want it. You can call me anytime.

I'm ready to get hurt again. Yeah, sure, I'm up. I'm ready. Yeah, why not? And throughout the show, Will, William, Eugene, you gotta just try and have side conversations with Mark. Sometimes you gotta just-

That is true, that is true. Off of my nose. Wait till the whole room's talking about something and then just turn to me. Have a side combo. We can, we can do that. I'd be all about it. I'd be all about it. Oh yeah. Um, original will compter. Are you excited for the case race? I am. I've started to accept it. I've gotten into the, uh, the good vibes. I've gotten into the good vibes mentally. I want tears at the end. I'm gonna say some shit about how much I love you. Like we're gonna get real emotional.

As long as me, you and Nick, we can all cry together and uh. Yeah, I'll cry. We're gonna get fucking, I'm gonna get emotional. There's gonna be a lot of I fucking love you so much man. Shit like that. You know that's coming. And us three, I went to an apothecary and I found us If I got us a like a blend that we won't get as fucked up. Oh, we're gonna win. Oh, yeah I got a blend from an apothecary. Yes Yeah, the five Nick Nick Nick. Did you bring the uh, did you bring the Addis? That's what I meant Adderall Man alright well I got us all Adderall. Oh man. All right. Well, uh, oh gee, Will, we'll see you tomorrow.

Do you have any last words for our new Will? No, man. Go be great, bro. One install at a time. Go watch tape. Just one install at a time. You'll get there. I will do my best. I'll try to do good by you, my friend. I love you.

I love you more. Wow. You're all too good to start. I appreciate it. I do my best. I'll try to do do good by you my friend. I love you. I love you more Wow I appreciate I do my best. Yeah, take it easy. All right. See you will see you tomorrow So is this our new will Compton or we just this is our first of many first of many world will be accruing them Yeah, I want I want the will Compton to museum to just be all the will Comptons Are you aware of any others besides your dad? Well, I was talking to Shay apparently they have a lot of fakers that we're trying to yeah We don't want I was the only legitimate one right? Yeah, but you want a will big twan Some guys that were named will some guys that that would be willing to change their name legally.

I don't want to push it. I want like every six months for there to just be like, and we got a new Will Compton today, and we just add his shit to the museum. It's the hunt, that's fun. Yeah, right. Any Wills from Compton? There has to be. I don't know if Fron, but but like was planning on going to Raise in a place and also planning on maybe one day visiting or yeah

Now I'm will going to Compton for Christmas. I want more will Compton Compton con you've never oh man You've never been another will Compton other than my dad. I've met a bill Compton, but his that was his legal name It wasn't William which is kind of I don't know how you feel about so cool. I feel so betrayed But yeah, I haven't really met that many the only will Compton ever met and actually haven't even met him was You have a micro penis like he does I can tell probably not What's he working with be? The way just looked at that yeah, it is crazy It's crazy how many times in my life it's happened two or three times that I've been cussed out on Twitter

and of course people that are commenting on sports never talk about actual play on the field talk about you being being a terrible person and how you're never gonna make it in this business and I would just see that on my Twitter on a Saturday afternoon and I beg I don't think this is for me but I can't say for sure that's not. Turns out wrong will come to him. It would be funny if it was for you though. Yeah. I didn't even know from from Washington or Tennessee like wow you know you better hope I don't see you and all this stuff It's like I get the heart going I want a little bit. Yeah, I'm a little concerned I was like is this what who is did I say something wrong to the wrong person? Yeah, dad? I think this is after you yeah, we do have to get your dad up here. Yeah, sadly sadly my dad passed away

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, up the mood, I brought you guys a gift. Oh, right. OK, all right. Now, I will say. Scorpion. It's Ollie in a box. Although, the guys in the back really wanted to meet the snake. I think Ollie's gone. But they were talking about wanting to go run around out there. But Zod just has to take down his pants. Yeah.

Well, anyway. Zod does not want to see the snake. So I wrote Shay a little write-up about my life. And something that I forgot to mention is I've actually been coached in my Life by two first ballot NFL Hall of Famers. Whoa The first one was Emmett Smith when I was in sixth grade Okay, and the second one is I I know there's not a whole lot of Bears fans here

I know big cat your your fan of the Bears, but it was Mike Singletary. Okay, so after Shay And I got this all figured out I was gonna be here. I called it I'm like, hey, I know can can probably only use this card once in my life, can you please sign a football for me? So I got a Mike Singletary to the Yak signed by Mike Singletary. Put it right up next to Zaz Underwear. Yes! There you go, like that.

This is awesome. Thank you, that's cool. Thank goodness, he's never in town. I was just glad to catch him when he was in town for like one day. Oh, that's incredible. Thank you, Wilcompton. You're welcome, glad to do it.

The other Wilcompton never gave us a gift. No, we need to put a shelf right over above Zaz's underwear. You wanna put it in the underwear? Would it fit in the underwear? Yeah. This is a great gift. Wilcompton, you're the best. Hey, I'm trying to live up to the original guy dude. That's why you're immortalized well

I appreciate it. Yeah, and sorry again about your dad. It's really it's really okay But yeah, yeah between that and the kidney stuff. It's been a pretty interesting run Yeah, so what happened with the kid? How did your kidney explode? So so I was senior in high school playing football and Thursday night I went to a Baylor football recruiting visit, which was where I wanted to go to play football. Anyway, the day after, it was my second to last high school football game, I played receiver,

I caught a pass, and I dove for a first down, and I got tackled, someone put their knee right in my side, I broke two ribs, I broke my back, my liver split in half, and my kidney exploded, and I had to have emergency life-saving surgery what? shit, and After that I was like you know I think I want to be just a normal kid And I went to TCU both my grandparents with TCU my granddad played football on the first tell about cotton ball there Both my parents was TCU met there, and I was like yeah

I'm gonna play football at Baylor I didn't go over very well at the time, but I went to TCU and so glad I did but yeah We met our guy Dawson who okay so TCU He was hanging out with the Chancellor. Yeah, he's like yes so dinner. I got the Chancellor I'm actually not I feel like we've crossed paths with a lot of mutual friends But I'm not sure if we've actually met Dawson if we have and I'm forgetting I'm sorry But that he was always good to me when he ran the the Barstool account We he was always he was always cool to me. So Dawson's good guy. He's great guy. Great hire

Alright. Well, thank you. Well, you're the man Anytime you're in Chicago come by I'd love to spend more time. Yeah. Yeah, so we you're immortalized now Yeah, and anytime you do anything big like what do you do for a living? I'm in sales right now so anytime you do a big sales you sale you want to like immortalize it send it on up I put it in a cool Certificate no, but they don't but that would be good. Maybe I'll ask next time. Yeah, I don't know Maybe yeah, maybe I can do sales for barstool. Maybe it'll be immortalized here anyway I'm not sure who's I'm not sure who to send that channel to but a Will Compton. It's on the internet now

Yeah, yeah, I love that there we go. It was a pleasure meeting you guys. Yeah, great meeting you Thank you. Well, you will Compton Great, dude. Oh, of course very cool cool. Will Compton. Will Compton. It's filled a void in my heart. Yeah. Yeah, I feel full again. Yeah, yeah. I ate way too much lunch.

The first Will Compton hasn't even left yet. Yeah, but he has. He has his foot out the door. He has his foot out the door. It's the day we hired him. Yeah. I'm going to get emotional tomorrow. I envy him a lot.

3925. Yep. Finding another Brandon Walker will be easy. Are there a lot of you? Seems like there's probably more Brandon Walker. Yeah. That one we'll be able to accomplish. Yeah. I think I've I've played minor league baseball. I played college football. I was in days of our lives. Oh. Yeah. There was a character called Brandon Walker. Oh, they killed him off Who's your new friend? I? Don't have any friend

Nick kind of over texting me and bragging about overstepped a little bit of a handsome new friend Oh, no, and he has a cool ass name that I won't say I'm not saying his name No, cuz I haven't locked in the friendship yet. Okay, all I did, I had dinner at the club the other night. Oh! Is that why you dressed that way? Here we go! What? Here we go! Look at how he's dressed.

Mark, there may be some changes in the near future. As I stop, when I leave here, I might stop the club every day. I don't know. Anyway, I was having dinner at the club with my wife, and went to the bathroom. And a guy was like, hey, did you just join? And I said, yeah, this is my first time. And he said, hey, my name is blank.

And I said, cool, my name is Brandon Walker. And he said, I know who you are. And I said, cool. And he said, we should play golf. I said, okay, here's my number. And so I made a friend of his. And tell him what he looks like. Handsome as fuck.

Ah! Handsome as all get out. Can't we be blank? So I met a friend and tell him what he looks like handsome as fuck Handsome is all get out can we can't my first handsome friend that I've had in a while really what's your name? Can't tell you yet. I haven't locked in the friendship. Let me lock in the friendship, then I'll tell you Nick Do you know his name? Maybe he knows his name. He knows his full name. How young is he? I would say he's in his I would say he's between 29 and 35 does he have any defining traits handsomeness how short is anything else I would say I would say he was six two okay oh the men's bathrooms open now by the way why you are you the women's bathroom oh you did yeah chiseled jawline can't tell you yet Let me lock in the friendship. What's his build? What's it like? He's a oh

No, I would say he's built like a like a young Mark Sanchez. Oh wow Wow Wow yeah And we have something else really defining about him no Wait is he you he looks like Mark Sanchez a young one. Yeah, are you talking about ass fuck AJ? He's talking about ass fuck AJ How do you know how do you know about ass fuck? Walks around and fucks asses. That's all he does. Be ready. Everybody knows. I haven't even locked in the question. There goes Brandon Walker and ass fuck AJ.

I told you. I told you. I told you in confidence that I had a new friend. I was on the press with him. Brandon, I've met ass fuck AJ. I think we all have. Yeah, we all know him. He's a great dude. Hey, I'm AJ, I'm gonna fuck your ass.

Get ready for your ass. That's a collar card. That was fuck AJ. Why can't I make one friend outside of this building? Jealousy. If he's a stoolie, he's going to be like, this rocks. I don't know if he's a stoolie or not. He knew who you were.

The other people other than stoolies know who I am. Who? He might just be a college football aficionado. From working at Coke, he knows you. Well, then he'll never find out that he's Ass Fuck AJ. There's zero bad that can come from this. Yeah. Either he's a fucker.

Yeah. All right. Let's just go through the roster. OK. My friend Art. Tiny Dick. Tiny Dick Art. My the roster. Okay, my friend art tiny dick tiny dick art my friend Don What was dawn you called him gay dawn? Okay? Yeah, I probably just was up late. Okay

Now I met a guy well know your personal trainer trainer. Oh, yeah, my trainer is a dick and a pussy like And now the latest I met a guy. Yeah, you have a bunch of weird friends. His name is AJ. Ass fuck AJ. And I'm going to play golf with him. And then he's going to introduce me to other friends. He's going to get a hole in one already.

He's going to introduce me to other friends. He's my gateway to other friends. But now it's probably ruined. No, it's no no Absolutely not You're stuck here dude the only person I told what are you talking about? There's he could have guessed I know ass fuck AJ You said he looks like Mark Sanchez. I know exactly the guy you're talking. Yes He's fucked my ass multiple times. That's what he does.

He's here to chew gum and fuck asses. He's all out of gum. Assfuck AJ is not a liar, I'll say that. Handsome though, you are right. Handsome, so handsome. I wish I could see his face. You know, when he's fucking my ass. So you called the club.

Yeah, I called the club. How's, have you brought the family? Oh yeah, we had dinner there. Went through orientation and we had dinner for six there. all of us. What'd you eat? I had a filet. Nice. My wife had had a grouper. Nice. My daughter had the chicken piccata. Wow. And all the boys had chicken tenders and fries. Love that. What a beautiful, did you sit by the fire? Sat by the window overlooking the 18th green. Ooh.

It was dark so they- Did they call you Mr. Walker? They did. Wow. Damn. When are you gonna bring us? Not going to. Why?

Never, because I hate every single fucking one of you. What did we do? Seems really rude. Yeah. Because I'd walk you around and say, hey, this is my friend Dan, all right, this is my friend Billy. And then you'd come back, tell Nick, and then he'd say, oh, that's butt fuck Billy.

No, I wouldn't. That's AJ. That's AJ. That's AJ. That's Billy. What are you talking about? You already got AJ. Whatever.

You're not good at this game. That's herpes Harry. You know, you'd make up something about all of them. That's good. That's pretty fucking good. That's fucking better. Herpes That's herpes Harry. You know you'd make up something about all that. That's good. That's pretty fucking good. Better. Herpes Harry. Brandon you just hang out with the garbage pail kids. Ass fuck AJ rocks. He's a cool guy. But I haven't even I haven't even played golf with him yet. I literally have shit just texting him my name and my number and then I'm gonna text him

Later this summer and I'm gonna say hey you wanna play golf and he's gonna be like no no Oh, so you didn't schedule it yet? No, cuz the club doesn't open till the club course doesn't open till April. What's your handicap? I don't know. It's getting better. I'm doing the simulator Bunch of friends that ruin every relationship he has. Yeah, that's got to suck. Do you have one of those things on your putter, like the suction cup, so you can just get the ball like that so you don't have to bend over? Oh yeah.

You should get one of those. That's probably a sound investment right now. I don't have one, no. Brandon, you should be touched that we love you so much we refuse to let you have any other friends That's but I'd like to I'd like to be able to do things outside of this office you can with us Yeah, but y'all don't come up to Wisconsin invite us to the club No, does AJ use those ball cleaners. No what?

What ball cleaners? What ball cleaners? Isn't that a golf course? Yeah, that was actually a real question. Good question. I'm sure he does when his balls are... Boopy. What was it the clientele at the club? Oh, it was great.

Demographic? Yeah, I was pleased. There were a lot of people dressed in flannel shirts and vests. You texted me hardly any minorities. You were excited about that, was that it? Yeah. hardly any minorities is that you're excited about that was it was a wonderful place I'm very excited about it my wife is very excited about it very I think you're gonna get good at golf I think I am too yeah yeah you have the

drive I do so mm-hmm everybody else following the place the ball long fucking way. By the way, I wanna just say, I'm gonna throw a flag on us ruining your relationship with AJ. Ass fuckers, like, that's a fucking compliment. Ass fuck AJ's the coolest dude. Yeah, like, you can't get cooler than fucking ass.

Please don't let this be. Oh no. Oh no, did you just get a text? Yeah. Oh no! It wasn't him. It wasn't who Easy yak fan. He's gonna be pumped. I don't think yeah, I would like lean into yeah

So I didn't get any indication. He was a yak fan. It was just he happened to know who I was Again, he could be a college football Nut are you excited to golf with them? I'm excited to golf with everybody yes He didn't he didn't explain how he knew who you were. No, he just said, I know who you are. I love your lists. Maybe he's a wrestling fan. Could be a wrestling fan.

Well then he definitely would understand what we're doing. You need a nickname in wrestling. I don't think you go, I've never once. And now coming to the ring, Assfuck Allen. No, it's AJ. Okay, whatever. They don't put Assfuck Allen. No, it's AJ. Okay, whatever. They don't put Assfuck in their names.

That, he would get a pop, he'd be so over. Holy shit. His finisher is, he fucks your ass. Yeah, that's Assfuck AJ's music. Oh my god. Cena's looking up at the Jumbotron nervous because he knows what's about to happen. Fully clenched.

I can't fucking wait to leave you motherfuckers. 2925. Oh, 40 days. About to happen fully clenched. I can't fucking wait to leave you motherfuckers 3 9 25 Though 40 days 40 days that's nothing biblical. Yeah, Rizzo clock Friesler was at the Rutgers wrestling duel. Yeah, that's a big cat clock. What was that for? Oh Yeah, what was he doing? I Mean their home crowds are insane. Yeah They show out bo bass was there. Yeah, penn state. They were just rizzling rizzling it up. Mm-hmm. Brooker's wrestling good They're good, but like they're they have the crowd atmosphere of like a number one team

Yeah Jersey, they love wrestling Yeah, I saw Rizler, he's looking good. Just doing this. Look at, yeah. Doing this. He just can't grow, I don't want him to get taller. I don't even care if he gets skinnier.

I don't want him to get taller. Yeah, I saw Mudang's gotten bigger. It really sucks. Oh. I think he's getting bigger. Boom. That's a good hoodie. TJ, you have to buy that, right?

Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna need that for my merch guy at Rutgers. He's gotta be exhausted. That's a T-shirt over the hood. Taking these calls. By the way Rocket Money the start of a new year is the perfect time to get organized set goals and prioritize what matters most for me. A top priority is my financial wellness which feels more important than ever. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all of your subscriptions in one place and know exactly

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We also brought to you by our friends at Cain's raisin Cain's Cain's Cravable chicken finger meals rally every fan together with their cook-to-order Chicken fingers crispy crinkle cut fries butteryast, and their signature Cane Sauce. And don't forget the true MVP of it all, the Raising Cane's Tailgate. Cane's Chicken Finger Tailgate's the perfect option to feed the whole team and bring home a true victory meal, especially when you add a jug of freshly squeezed lemonade

or freshly brewed iced tea. Go to RaisingCanes.com to game plan your game day meal and follow along on Raising Cane's social channels for all the football fun. So we have case race tomorrow. I'm doing a Doug stream at 3 o'clock today. And then tonight, Tate and Jerry are starting their hole in one stream.

There have been a lot of hole ones in this office. A lot. Yeah. Hank hit one in five shots. Hank? What happened? Didn't they change the machine to eat it? I I don't know is that a thing it is being alleged that Lucas changed it to easy when he hit his take it is on normal

Okay, well so was Jerry's on hard or normal. I don't know Hank's just good at golf, but Hank has hit multiple ones, right? I don't know. This is the second. Oh, he hit another one. Oh I think okay, so they're doing their hole-in-one stream So tomorrow when we do the case race if they're still going they're gonna use that as a time to sleep We'll keep the the camera will still be on them But they're gonna sleep while we do the case race cool And we have to make sure that no one goes on the hole-in-one stream after the case race because that's a disaster waiting to happen So will the live cameras be able to pick up? Oh, they'll turn off the sound. Okay. Yeah

That's good. Yeah Yeah for guys like us for guys like us and gals you get you get in the mud you get in the mix I'm so excited for the case race. Are you going to tweet during the case race? Somebody take my phone away. Lock it up. Brandon, do you want to ref? The what?

The case race. I am refing the case race. OK. Yeah. I didn't know if you wanted to do a cocktail and be cool guy. No, he's refing. I'm refing. Got the ref shirt.

I'm ready. Are you got anything you're going to do different this time? No, I just don't want to get hit or Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop, but he's not Macho Man Randy Savage this time, so that should help. You want to call a clean game? I'm going to call a clean game. No one's allowed to punch me, slap me, kick me, pinch me, or kiss me. Kiss?

Che was close last time. You never said assfuck. Yeah, I didn't say assfuck. What, TJ, how are we going to set it up? Is there going to be a chair behind each one of these? Yeah, so there's 12. So that's what we do for werewolf. So we'll have mics for everybody.

Oh, we should play drunk werewolf. Oh, my god. Yes, that'll go good. Oh, my god. Drunk go on. Oh, my god. Drunk werewolf would rock. Yeah. It would. Yeah.

We'll do whenever your team's eliminated, you leave so that we get the final. It's going to get aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. I think this setup seems to, like, I think it will lead to us being the drunkest. Well, mathematically, so 15 minutes will be 10,

then 35 minutes will be in the 55, 20s. So after 75 minutes, we'll be in the 40s on teams of three. That's, I think that, whew. Titus, what's your psyche? What, have you already reached the pinnacle and you're fine? Yeah, I'm not repeating that performance. I want I want like 12 beers mmm, what I Want 12 beers I'm like that's the that's what I got in me. I don't have 21 and a half 21 is an absurd number

It's not sustainable. I think what I'm gonna do do, and this is going to shock people, I think I'm going to chug 10 beers as fast as I can and then puke my guts out. That's sustainable. As is tradition. I want to puke this time, because that's what screws me the next day. I'm just donezo.

I need to get it all out and then eat something so I can go help dogs. Yeah, really bad planning, really bad planning. We're gonna get the dogs drunk just from our breath. Brandon, what's the matter? Nothing. I love you, big guy. Why are you so cold?

I don't know. And I'm worried. What if the people from the club are watching and I just now embarrass somebody and they're gonna kick me out? They're not gonna kick you out of the club. All right. Why is your hand so cold?

Are you a woman? I don't know. They're not gonna kick you out. You were just singing the club's praises. Love the club. The club sounds incredible. Love the club. It's my most favorite place.

On earth? That I've joined in the last year. Can you smoke a cigar there? Almost certainly I don't know. I'm warming up my hands. Thank you. Um yeah I can't wait to play golf. What about swim? Can't wait for the family to swim there. Hell yes. What's the pool look like? They got anything fun? Kid friendly. Just the pool. More kid friendly. It's not a big, it's not like an Olympic sized pool or anything but real fun. Real fun. It's about an hour from my house so that's not that bad. That makes it a special little trip. Right outside Chicago. That is a fun trip. Yeah.

It's in Mundelein. Mundelein? You shouldn't say that. Mundelein. Whoops. Yep, that might have been a mistake. Oh, well. All right. This is going well. I love you, big guy. Well, you're going to love me at the ringer. I will.

I'll subscribe. I'm not going to listen, but I'll subscribe. You said you wouldn't even talk to me afterwards. Oh Subscribing doesn't that's not talking. Yeah open an old friend up. Yeah, let's make sure for old friends guys numbers up Yeah, thank you. We have two real contents It's incredible and counting and counting what time should I tell do it should come here tomorrow? You just DM me saying what time where does he live? I don't know. I don't want to have a time Mountains of Vermont is sticking out my I don't know if he has an ecosystem said what time do you want me on campus big guy?

Yeah, I Think let him do whatever he wants show up whenever he wants wear what he wants. Yeah, what he would do Which probably drink before the case or is? Right yeah, He's probably going to do that. He doesn't have to speak. No. Speak to him. I'm just so excited for the Deutsche. What were his quotes from last time? Did he speak?

I don't think so. I don't think he said a word. He came in a jug. He did have a handgun. Great physical humor. He only talked to me when he was in, we sent him back in that room, and I went in there, and you know, he'd done the nine for nine, or whatever that thing is at Wrigley. But he started late. Then y'all made him drink and everything,

and I walked back in to get him for the last time, and he just said, I can't do it, I don't think I can. When he first ran in, he drank four beers in 30 seconds. Yeah, it was insane. He did the 999 challenge before, the case rate. But he started it late in the game, didn't he? He had just done it. He did it to you like completed But I thought he went to the he got to the baseball game late. Yeah, you completed it in less than nine innings. Yeah And then he drank all those beers and then just was like 90% from three on the court

Wet from three for like 40 minutes He's the fucking best what a beast do it do it All right, we got to end a little early cuz we got to do this we're doing a combine video with Gruden Probably we'll go a little later. We'll have everyone in the house. So should I tell do it? Do it come on the act does it ruin the mystique to hear what any I don't actually yeah can you get on a live program he should be wandering I'd love to see a do it you mingle roaming yeah don't don't Mike him up just let him water around the office yeah okay so it's gonna come 8 a.m. walk around. See what happens. It's a Deutsch cam. I do want to wheel them in for the case race in a cage.

Yeah. Hannibal Lecter. Hannibal Lecter. Batter like a series of drummer boys bringing him in. Wait, so how are we going to do the Deutschman? You call it and then? So I think there needs to be some sort of button or signal to activate. Each team will have a Deutsch.

I got like these mystery or these treasure chests. What? Like to try and visually signal that you're activating your Deutsch. I'll be abusing that. Cause if you just scream Deutsch, that's- I'll be doing that. What about a Deutsch whistle?

That would be bad for the audio listeners. Yeah, that is. Audio listeners would be crazy. Oh, that was a Deutsch horn. I mean, I'm gonna have to just grab me and tell me. Are you comfortable going to get Deutsch? Yeah some sort of visual way to activate your Deutsch. What about like a trumpet?

Should we have Ollie here to handle Deutsch? He comes out in the crib. Have Deutsch come out of that tub. All balled up. Covered in bug. Deutsch dressed as a snake. all about covered in All right, yeah, we'll figure it out, but it's gonna be great. Oh, yeah, and tomorrow. We'll have Dana come on

Mangold will be here Other will Compton What a day it's gonna be great all right? Let's spin the wheel happy birthday Kyle. Thank you so much. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Set the line, Nick Mangold, beers drink. 30.5. 26.5 was what I was doing. Danny, how many beers are you going to drink? I don't know. Danny's a wild card.

Yeah, I think he's going to surprise us. Because I have it handicapped that I think Titus's team is the favorite. Because they have three guys that all can drink. It's Titus, it's who's the other? Max and Che. That's a good team. But if Danny can drink, Mangold is going to drink probably

two other men can drink. But I said this, Danny can drink. I've gone out with Danny multiple times. But after six, seven beers, he has to fuck. So it's like after seven, he'll probably have to go do something. I just don't know. Yeah. And then PFT, Dana Beers and Kate is the other team.

That's good too. Yeah. That could be really good. Kate, you're good for low double digits, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's why you need it. Nobody's going to get Nick.

You're a wild card for us. They can do like 10 to 12. I can do 10 to 12 probably. So we'll be in this. Yeah. We'll be in this thing. We'll have to figure out the timing TJ because we Probably wanted to end after like an hour and a half and then we'll yak

Yeah, those time constraints can also be like played with like the the royal rumble entrances We're not at the same frequency every true good point good point good point. I just Know I just did it whenever I felt like it was time. Oh we could do Tj, we'll talk after this we could do we could do we could be a time wheel instead of a beer drink wheel and The beer drink could be sent times. I like oh, that's interest that would be interesting Although I like them. I like that Whatever you call it yeah Exactly that thing I like that there's like if you get a low time you might just be hopeless be like we're fucking out Yeah, yeah, it should be it should stay as a beer drink all right. Let's spin the wheel though

Can't be wet today. Oh it is No, they got to address the this this white socks Dave dinner. Oh, yeah. Those guys got to get in. Two and a half weeks away now. White Sox Dave's hair is disgusting. He's also filthy head to toe today. It's so gross. Why? Have you guys seen his hair?

Yeah, I said before, he looks like the Spider Baby from Toy Story 1. Yeah. Oh, my god. Man, it's a sad creation. All right, we'll see you tomorrow It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak!

It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Alright motherfuckers, let's have a good week.

Lots to watch. Doug's stream, Hole in One stream, Quick Picks of course, Moocant Sleep of course. Moot can't sleep of course. And then tomorrow, Case Race comes out on Friday. Let's have a great week. How about those birds, how about my birds this weekend? Am I right Connor? For sure. Alright, love you, see you tomorrow, bye.