The Yak - Big Cat is Getting His Real Estate License | The Yak 10-4-22

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Pat the CatYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa! It's yakking! Nicky's got tea. Hey, Nick, you got to sit. You got to sit there. Brandon's out.

Kate. I don't know where Kate is. Where's Ron? Ron said he was going to be out today because he's going to Philly. We all are. If you haven't bought tickets, you can see us live in. How about this for a fucking mind blowing moment? You're watching us live right now.

You can see us live in Philly in like six hours. And if you catch any of us outside of the venue, your coins work. Yes. Six hours? All right, you can, like, if you're in as far, if you're in Buffalo, you can make it in time. Facts. If you're in Carlisle, easy money.

If you're in Hagerstown, you can do it. If you're in East Liverpool, Ohio, speed. Maybe you missed the first one. These Liverpoolians, dude. Yeah, get tickets. Buy tickets. Buy tickets. Get your tickets, guys.

What's up, boys? How's everyone doing? I'm feeling good good but nervous dude hey there's it's the risk outweighs the reward in trivia oh it's way easier to look terrible than good no way dude it's just like i didn't know the question i hate doing trivia you would think but that's the other people perceive it differently it's's not like an athletic feat where like it's. But it feels way worse. No, because the problem is what KB's talking about.

And I have this happen to me, too, where everyone has something that they're very strong at in trivia. Right. They know something about baseball or like history. So when you get that question, you get it wrong. You get someone being like, how could you not know that? Because I didn't know it. Right. You would think that would be the rationale, but no.

I would expect you to know that. And I get the psychology because when I know something very well and someone else doesn't. Come on in, Francis. Oh, I was just walking by. I didn't want you guys to invite me in. Francis, come on in. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in.

Very nice. Come on in, Francis. You got anything going on? No. All right. Come on in. You were just on this program? Sit on down.

Sit on down for the yak. Francis is here. I saw Francis yakking it up with Alex Bennett today. Oh, yeah. Lunch. He's in a pod over there. Talking about how poor people are. Yeah.

She's doing well financially. Yeah. She was eating an avocado. He was eating a pot over there. Talking about how poor people are. Yeah, she's doing well financially. Yeah. She was eating an avocado. He was eating a salad. Oh, yeah. She's beautiful. I brought food from home. There's Kate.

Should I move? No, no, you're good. Brandon's out. I can see you and your wife having a little thing with her and her husband. Oh, shit. You're making it sound like swinging. And it gets really gram-heavy with you. Oh, yeah. You would definitely get sound like swinging. And it gets really gram heavy with you. Oh yeah, you would definitely get gram heavy.

What do you mean? What do you mean a little thing? Are you talking about some kind of couple swapping? If it happened, no. If it was a conjoined. Menage a trois? Menage a quatre? Yeah, menage a quatre.

Fog and gram a little bit. I can see you and Alex sitting together and just looking around and being like, look at all these fucking scum. Why are you guys seeing all of this? I can see you keep saying. Oh, no, I've seen it. Why are your heads on it is the question.

Are you talking about how you, I'm late, but how you move seats? Yeah. To Alex? Yeah. Kate. I've been feeling it in my bones. I was like, oh, I guess he doesn't want to be over here with the riffraff. You know, there are times when I don't even believe that you were in the military.

Come back at all of us. That's fair. I feel a vibe. I know exactly what you guys are talking about. I don't have a seat. I went over there. I didn't know that's where she sat. And I'm going to have to move again when Grace comes back.

Oh, Grace, you won't like Grace. I like Grace. No, you won't. She didn't have enough money or education yeah what's wrong with grace i'm just kidding i love grace i actually was grace was an intern and i was like i was like oh so you're going with brie somewhere and she's like oh i'm an intern i was like what and so i actually told eric i was like she should be full-time grace is hilarious she's not she is now yeah This was before where we do stupid things where we just have people who should be full-time,

not full-time, and then someone has to point it out, and it's like, oh, whoops. Yeah. That should have happened. Yeah. Are you on a trivia team, Francis? I am. So we were talking trivia. You're not going to like trivia either.

I don't think I'm good at it. No one is. I think, unfortunately, think there's unfortunately that there's this uh misperception that i might be but i'm not the only person who says they're good at trivia is brandon walker and he loses every time you only know the things you know there's quite and then like the only thing that involves intelligence is like the bonus rounds because you have to critically think yeah but it's other things it's like binary you know it or you don't we've lost every bonus round we've ever done we suck yeah that's true it's like binary. You know it or you don't. We've lost every bonus round we've ever done.

We suck. Yeah, that's true. It's very frustrating to do. I love playing because it's fun. The world that Jeff D'Lo has built is awesome, but the actual act of answering questions is very frustrating because I don't know a lot, and I should know more. I'm on the honkers. That's right.

With who? With Mincy and I should know more. I'm on the honkers. That's right. With who? With Mincy and Bob Fox. Oh. I replaced Coley. Actually, you guys would be a good team. Yeah, but Coley was like the best player, apparently. He was very good. I'm taking his spot, and I can't fill his shoes.

What's your niche category going to be? Am I allowed? Would it hurt me to tell you? No. There's no way. I don't know how the format works. Yeah, they'll let you know. Well, I know what it is. to tell you No There's no way I don't know how the format works Yeah they'll let you know Well I know what it is

Let everyone know Oh Grammar Oh It was Roan's at one point Was it No his was like Words that start with blank

Well we just did that Because we just were like They're not gonna get it You know me and KB Had to memorize the elements of style In 8th, 7th, and 8th grade Don't even know what that means A book

It's the grammar rules for English. We had Miss Unge made us do it. Yeah. I feel like I know the basic grammar, which most people don't. But anything like... It could be way over my head. Am I going to get asked grammar questions?

Is that how your category works? Both teams get here. So we'll pick what your niche will be. We'll have three choices because you have three teammates, and that's worth double for you guys. Wow, okay. I don't even know where – what even is a grammar question? What's the difference between an M and an N dash, Francis?

Well, I know that an M dash is a long dash, which can set off a parenthetical or a clarifying statement. But I don't... An N-dash? I thought you were making an N-word joke. I believe so. That's how stupid I am. I was like, nice, Nick.

Oh, no. I thought I was going to say it. Is that a glorified hyphen or a glorified hyphen? I don't know. I was genuinely asking. I know an M-dash is the long one. I'd never even heard of an em dash.

Oh, Jesus Christ. What is it you're on? An em dash is a letter. It just ends in ing. It's in motion. That's it? Yeah, see, this is tricky. A gerund.

Swimming. Never heard of that. Bam, nailed it. Thanks, KB. You go, Francis. What do you call a sentence that gives instructions or commands? I think it's an imperative sentence. Far so good.

Damn, this guy's smug. That would have been the last one. Yeah, I was out on that one. Shit. No, I've been out. Yeah, all right. All right, this one's fine. Go ahead, Francis.

I'll let someone else. This is an easy one. No, I mean, just. Yeah, it's, Francis. I'll let someone else. This is an easy one. No, I mean just... Yeah, it's so easy, I'll let you do it. Any word that has the same letters but in a different order. So it's like it has to be... I mean, I'm guessing... Oh, yeah.

Hester Moffat. It has to be... Schoolmaster in Classroom. No, it's Schoolmaster in Classroom. Yeah, it has to be because... Fledgling Killer's First Flight. Hester Moffat. I think my niche will probably bemaster in classroom. Yeah, it has to be. Fledgling killer's first flight. Mr. Moffat. I think my niche will probably be grammar, too.

Yeah, I think I'd nail that. Or punctuation. Yeah. That'd be good. Yeah, that'd be a good one. Big Cat, what's yours? We just let Stephen Che because he's autistic. He just gets to decide stuff.

I think we do like, it's basically like first round picks in the NFL for like five years. It's a small window. Every time we get asked one, I'm like, I feel like that guy was and then he just gets it. His brain is just full of NFL facts. Yeah, I just memorize geographic things.

It's not intelligence in the slightest. It's memory. No, they asked me for a niche and I was like, I have none. It's hard to think of one. Yeah, no, there's nothing. Who's Jaws? Smitty picked Jaws. Smitty didn't get it right, right?

We were so floored. He had the movie. The movie? Yeah, Smitty's never been vocal about Jaws, ever. We searched his tweets to see if he's ever tweeted about Jaws. Never once. And he chose Jaws as his niche. What was the niche that the Idol...

Oh, it is like a perfect geometric shape. Yeah. The Idol contestant. Yeah, it is. Oh, literally Jaws. The Idol contestant, Lukey Lunchbox. Patrick Ewing. What was his?

His was a... It was a sitcom. It was a... It was a sitcom. Oh, it was a sitcom. It was a movie. It was like Rush Hour 2. Yeah, Rush Hour 2. But he got every single question right. That makes me laugh every time someone has one of those leashes.

Nadeau's being mob hits or something. Yeah, right. Got his really quick too. I feel like Hispanics loved Rush Hour too. Yeah. Still, yeah. Have you guys seen Bros yet? I swear, no, dude.

I saw the backlash. I mean, I get why it didn't perform well, like in the South and Midwest. I believe it's funny. He's funny. Billy Eichner's funny. Very funny. But I don't think it was marketed very well.

I've never seen a trailer for it. I didn't see a trailer. It did 4.8 million in the box office in a weekend. I don't think that's good. Not good. Less than 50% of what they sold. Clip that. Clip that ignorance.

On that. Of course I was going to pick box office sales as my niche. That's not a movie that should have had a theatrical release. Any rom-com should be straight to streaming. It's a perfect Friday night. I would watch

a gay rom-com in the comfort of my own home. What if I bumped into KB there? It would be so embarrassing. In your home? What are you doing here also you just sit down on your couch you start streaming kb just walks in he's got a key to your apartment oh we're watching bros okay what are you gonna say he's competing with dommer ah on the charts i'm gonna watch lgbt oh yeah that's true two titans of the industry going up in the back of the head he

was like i should have been a serial killer. In bros? Billy Eichner? Oh. Yeah, probably. The sales would have been stronger, yeah. Yeah. He came on PMT, so, I mean.

Wasn't that like last week? I guess that's partially our fault. Yeah, you guys should have promoted him harder. Yeah. He's kind of the de facto best man on the street person ever. In my opinion, the best ever. Why do people hate him so much? Because I was like, I didn't know any...

He's gotten very political. Because he tried to blame it on homophobia. Even in the marketing, he was like, this isn't for you, homophobes. And now he's... Yeah, that kind of backfired. He's like, why are no homophobes watching this? Maybe they think it's a...

I think the New York bubble like the urban bubble like they don't the rest of the world just no isn't about it yet it's not yeah it's also um there definitely is someone who has the real take that we joked with him about how every actor in the movie is gay whether straight in the movie or not like they're all uh gay in real life and so we were like well you just took jobs from straight white males. And there's definitely people who actually think that. Yeah. Like, this is bullshit.

Yeah. They're persecuting us. I think that. I hate it. What I wanted to say was I think that. You know James Corden has a wife? What? Really?

I thought he was gay. He's just gay fronting? Yeah, gay presenting. Gay presenting? We are baiting. I have a James Corden story.en story oh please tell i hate him when i was back when i used to work at barstool the first time um francis 1.0 i went like a steve jobs yeah 1.0 i went to a play that he was in called One Man, Two Governors, for which he won, I think, a bunch of Tony Awards or whatever. But it was like a half musical, half comedy.

And I went alone, which is a little gay. And I bought my front row seat. And there's a moment where he breaks the third wall a lot the fourth wall whatever um and there's a moment where he has to bring these big heavy trunks into the bed and breakfast that his like governor his like boss is staying in and it's too heavy for him to lift so he's like i need help and he comes to the front row and he pulls me and another guy that i'm sitting next to up on stage to help bring the trunks in. And before he does that, he starts interviewing us and roasting us for the audience. And he said something like, wow, Francis, you look like you lift weights.

You're the right choice. And I was like, oh, haha. He's like, but your right arm is a lot bigger than your left, if you know what I mean. Oh, nice one. First off, he just knew your name. I had told him. He was like, but your right arm's a lot bigger than your left, if you know what I mean. Oh, nice one. Wait, first off, he just knew your name? I had told him. Okay. He was like,

what's your name, what's your name, blah, blah, blah. And so he made a fucking jerking off joke. And then he got, he was like, all right, we're going to lift on,

you know, lift with the legs, not with the back. Lift with the legs, not with the back. And so the guy who was helping me was at the other side, the back of the trunk

and then i'm in the front facing away ready to like basically deadlift it and he was like on three one two and right when we were about to lift he jumped on the truck and so like we were like and everyone's like oh and he's like laughing or whatever and he's like come on why can't you lift it and i quietly i was like do you actually want do you actually want us to lift it he's like, come on, why can't you lift it? And I quietly, I was like, do you actually want us to lift it? And he was like, come on, what's the matter? And he's still standing on it. And then I was like, all right. And I just lifted it, and he fell off.

That's awesome. And then he, like, everyone was, like, laughing, and he was laughing, and he stood up, and he's like, we've done this show for 14 months on the West End, six months here on Broadway. That's the first time anyone's ever been able to lift the trunk with me on it. And then we like went in backstage, like carried it off. And then he like brought us back out for a curtain call and we sat back down. And then at intermission, all of these people kept coming up to me and they were like,

you're part of the show, right? Part of the show, right? Is he perched on it, like fully on it? Standing on it. Was the other guy strong? He's at least 240. He's very top heavy. Was the other guy strong? No, he didn't do anything. So I lifted it like that. I lifted my

end. The other guy couldn't lift anything. I lifted it like this. He fell off. He's a real hero. Other people have failed, tried and failed. Nobody else has been able to lift him because he's so overweight. He's like an excalibur. He challenged your masculinity. I had no problem lifting it. I lift weights all the time.

This is a basic deadlift. What are we talking about here? You should have said that your back got hurt. It's probably harder than deadlift. Oh, it's this. You have the handles, right? Big Cat, stand on that box. Yeah, but the uneven distribution of James Corden would be like,

it's harder to lift dumbbells than barbells. It's like bench pressing a person is difficult. But I've always thought that if I ever um to do a stand-up set on the james corden show that i would tell that story if he brought me over to the couch and then we submitted a tape i had for late night submissions and i got no's from everybody and not only did i get a no from the corden booker but they were like it's a no from us and by the way because i had a joke in it about um my my grandmother, which you might have seen. And he was like, we're not in the business of trying to make light of people's dead relatives.

That's your dead grandmother. Yeah. And I was like, okay, it's a nose fine. I didn't need the note on my set. Why was he white netting for your grandma? Yeah. Nose, man. That's why I hate James Corden because he did- He's not going to let you fuck.

We posted something a while ago where it was like, I think it was making fun of someone at the gym and everyone's like, oh, this is bullshit. He's just trying to better themselves. And he came over the top 24 hours later, quote, treating it being like, this is so wrong with society and basically doing the everyone's bashing barstool. Let me come in at the last minute to get the free win here. Fuck that guy. I'm happy he retired. Is he retired?

I don't know. I think he's leaving that show. I'm happy that show got cancelled. Yeah. She kind of looks like Celine Dion. This is Celine Dion and Caitlin Olsen.

He is very celebrity. This is Celine Dion and Caitlin Olsen. Yeah. He is very talented. And the other one is Meatloaf and the fat offensive lineman from Varsity Blues. Richie Incognito. Yeah. That's him. Oh, that's part of trivia. It's a trivia-heavy show today. He does face swaps

Hey can I do a segment on the Yak A new segment called Pat the Cat Yeah This is where I just tell Big Cat Something I really like about him Oh okay Pat the Cat Pat the Cat So I

I have to Oh wait can we play the song for Pat the Cat Yeah let's play Pat the Cat song Pat the Cat Maybe a little graphic Maybe just a purring sound Some sort of purring mew yeah mew baby the pussy sound yeah all right so pat the cat so um you know you'll have to

forgive me for not i i don't i i don't i haven't really listened to a full episode of pardon my it's okay even though i know it's this Colossus. Starting off nice. I watched... Where's the Pat? Pat the Captain? Is this the Meow Mix jingle? Yeah. Yeah. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Meow Mix comes in two varieties. Let's use the meow parts. Okay. Before the meow. I watched the fastest two minutes in football. That was fucking brilliant. Yeah, it takes us a while. Nick actually helps with it, although he just has not shown up the last two weeks.

I was there two weeks ago. Nope, nope, I was out of town. I was in New Orleans, and then this time I couldn't keep the poop in my butt. Yeah, I was just looking at the door all Sunday afternoon. Nick's going to walk through at any moment. The last two weeks have been your best. Yeah, no, that's not true. But yeah, it's very fun.

Do you do that every week? Yeah, we do that every week. We've been doing it for, like, seven years. It takes a while. We basically sit down and just shoot the shit for a couple hours. If you want to help Ghost write. It's so dense. There are so many jokes in such a short period of time.

Yeah. You'd have to watch it multiple times with, like, captions in order to really appreciate it. I appreciate that. Nick is also, yeah, he's been helping if he ever comes back. I'm gone for... You guys sent me off to Pittsburgh this weekend. For what? A gambling competition. Yeah.

So, Francis, there's an open spot if you want to help out. Nick doesn't do my best. I don't know that I have the wherewithal in sports. It's actually easier than you think when you do it with multiple people. Like we all sit in the room and just say lines to each other and then like refine it from there. So it's not – doing it just yourself would be very difficult. The way we do it, it just kind of – yeah, it's very collaborative.

It's also sort of the type of thing that sounds very difficult to prove in your year-end raise meeting. Oh, we could say that. Like, I had a conversation with Big Cat, and I helped on five jokes they wrote. Yeah, he did a pun. Cardinals. I'd be like, I don't think that's, I don't know. That's like my biggest selling point in my renegotiations. I'm so fucked.

And you haven't come the last two weeks. Yeah, and I haven't been there in two weeks. Oh, shit. weeks Damn Brutal Zah When is Fat Bear Week? Tomorrow So people have been tweeting at me They're getting ready for it

So they put out the camera footage They're weighing the bears and all that today But the official start is tomorrow through the 11th So what are we going to do? I love Fat Bear Week I mean, we're going to have the live streams of the ponds To see them feed and all that I'm going to run through all the info this afternoon

I'm going to know everything When can we fill out our bracket? We can do it tomorrow So should we do it like a little bit every day? Or should we just fucking have Fat Bear Day? Yeah, because So if I remember correctly from last year They do a matchup a day or should we just fucking have fat bear yeah because so if i remember correctly from last year they do a match-up a day or something like that a couple match-ups a day or something

like that so yeah love it if you don't know fat bear week is our favorite it's all the pictures of the bears in what alaska uh it's uh different national parks so it depends on it depends on what feed you uh you uh i think it's a what's so Is it Yosemite? Yosemite. Yosemite, yeah. The bears... They take pictures of the bears when they come out of hibernation and then at the end of the summer when they've gained like 300 pounds. It's crazy.

Can you show one of the pictures from last year? Just a refresh in everyone's mind. Oh, look at this. Tight in the tub. There's already a bracket. Yeah. They did like a seating meeting and like got it right.

I don't know. Did someone fill out this bracket already? What the fuck? I like panicked the other day because someone tweeted me. He's like, it's Fat Bear Week. I texted Zaha on the side and I was like, did we miss Fat Bear Week? He's like, nah. Don't worry.

I got it. I'm on top of it. We're out tomorrow. What? Me, Kyle, and Owen. Why? We're doing a live show in Boston. Oh, that's right. That's right. You guys are

fucking traveling. Yeah. Sounds like I might need to be here. Yep. There we go. Come to the live show. Joey and Pat? Theirs is today. So they're going to be special guests? I don't think.

Here's Chunk from last year. Bam! Wow. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, wow. Look at that. Razor.

Oh! Okay, big fella. They're wet. Fuck. This is illegal. So this is July. Fully wet. And September.

Oh, yeah. We really should have. Fully wet. And September. Oh, yeah. We really should have. That one wasn't that impressive. DJ, we really should have just put me into this machine for an after-sportball season. It would be all time. Oh, Francis, what do you got to say about that one? Nothing. I have nothing to say about that one.

Springs Cub. All right, so we'll start this last year. Oh, that one. Look at that one. Like a shirt. He looks ashamed. All right, so tomorrow we'll start Fat Bear Week. These are fucking incredible.

Owen, tweet out anus lives canceled. Holly. Oh, Holly got fat. Oh, this one's big. Otis. Oh, wow, look how skinny that one is. Yeah. He's soaking wet. No. Oh, he slept. You can't. Yeah, one's big. Otis. Oh, wow, look how skinny that one is. Yeah. He's soaking wet.

No. Oh, he slept. You can't. He's soaking wet there. No, he went from Florida to Montana. If I remember correctly, that's the champion from last year. Yeah, Otis. Can Otis go back to back?

He's soaking wet in both. Only time will tell. Look at these fat bears. Have you guys ever seen Grizzly Man? Yeah. And you know you can find the audio of them being killed i never tried to look for that's pretty haunted yeah i wish i had not heard it i really do was it i mean a lot of screaming it's really bad a lot of screams it's worse than i

would have thought it's haunting he was like a peter pan reenactor in real life right like that was his professional full-time job. He was like a Peter Pan actor at Medieval Times or something. He kind of looks like Peter Pan, so it's not surprising. I think that's where he met her or something like that. The woman that ended up becoming his girlfriend. Who also died? Yeah.

Yeah. It's amazing how long it worked for him. Yeah. Yes. Like, he wasn't a nature... That's what I'm saying, I guess. Like, he wasn't a nature expert at all. He was, like, an actor guy at, like, some weird fantasy land.

And then he lived with them for, what, years, right? Like, a few years. It was, like, 10 summers or something like that. Yeah. Fuck. And then they ate him. Oh, yeah. One was like 10 summers or something like that. Yeah. Fuck. And then they ate them? Oh, yeah. One did.

One at the end did. He predicted who it was going to be, right? He said that? He said, oh, yeah. He's been looking at me? There was one that was starving. It hadn't been able to catch fish and feed itself heading into hibernation. So it was starving, and that's why it ate them.

Why didn't he just catch some fish for her? Hindsight. Don't like being interrupted. I feel like if you're like, that bear looks hungry, he's gonna eat me. I'd be like, here dude. Uber eats a filet of fish. Yeah, right.

There is one scene where he's standing at one of the lakes or rivers or whatever and the bear gets mad because the bear doesn't want him to be in the same area as where he's hunting. They're introverted extroverts. Yeah. Yes.

Kind of cool like that. They could go kill a bunch of salmon or do nothing. Embarrassing. In a cave, yeah. If a bear can't catch a salmon. When we were up in Alaska, they were laying eggs, and you could just walk into the water and just grab one. Seriously?

Yeah. Damn it, I didn't need you to say that to me because we have a longstanding bet that Hank couldn't catch a fish with his hands. Very, very easy. All right, so we've got to make sure he never goes to Alaska. Can't go to Alaska when they're going up and eating. They're just sitting there?

Birds are just sitting on their backs, pecking out their eyes as they're alive. Fuck. That's how much the salmon are just sitting there? Birds are just sitting on their backs, pecking out their eyes as they're alive. Fuck. That's how much the salmon are just sitting there? Alive is a stretch. They're living, but they go upstream to die. Because they fucking die. So we were at the top of the stream, and you couldn't even see the water.

There were that many fucking salmon, and you could just go grab. But if you held it up, would it flop around did you do that donnie did of course with one that it's like whole brain was exposed oh can i ask you when when you see those pictures of them jumping up the falls do they actually make it it doesn't seem like they do we didn't see any jumping they were very lethargic. They just get tired? Is that why they die? I think that's just how they work. The people there, it smelled like fucking shit.

They were just like, yeah, they're rotting right now. They were still alive. Do you ever see those tubes they put them in? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They put the salmon. And I know everybody's first thought. Fuck the fish tube.

The gust of gloop? We see a fish tube. Can you find one, TJ? I want to watch the fish tube we see a fish tube can you find one TJ I want to watch the fish tube what a great job in life to be the fish tube guy to be able to put those fish into the tube that's my favorite thing to do when I drive through the bank

that was the best that's fucking futuristic tech that's been going on since the 80s. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

It's like Futurama. Yeah. Look at that. Holy shit. Just a cool water slide for that. It's a great little flog. Whoa. Fish tube. They've got to put a GoPro on one, right?

Yep. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Oh, yeah. That's what birth looks like. Whoa. Hey, now. So today was awesome. I would like to be in a fish tube.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a tough one, yeah. Yeah, good luck. I also have fish ladders that go over dams and like all kinds of like levels so they can like jump up it's like a little escalator for fish too you should get a tube from your desk

down to Shoegasm Den oh yeah and the Chicago office have a tube? yeah just a huge tube that you just spin around like a hydron collider happens when me and kb hit makes one of us save money um all right roback roback.com promo code yak new q-zips polos hoodies and also the brand new joggers roback.com promo code yak r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com that's 20 off all

polos q-zipsodies, and joggers. I wore the new joggers on Sunday. They were awesome. Very comfortable. Row back. Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. Should we call Steven for this Giselle Brady shit? Or just wait?

So they're getting divorced officially, I think. Well, they got lawyers. They both officially got divorced lawyers. Oh, so they might not even be getting divorced. Aren't they in separate homes? I think so. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Does this make Tom Brady the greatest football guy of all time?

He literally was like, I'd rather play football than be with my family. My richer supermodel wife. Yeah. I agree with that take. Yeah. Pat the cat. He's got to win the Super Bowl now this year. Otherwise, it's like, imagine if he doesn't make the playoffs.

Yeah, but think of all the pussy he'll get if he's like, yeah, I was heartbroken. I played bad. Yeah, that's true. I think Che should risk a divorce for the Super Bowl. I agree. He should put his marriage on the line. He has to get officially divorced.

Sympathy divorce. I'll bring that up to his wife tonight. They could get remarried. We could even use the slush fund for his wedding to his ex-wife. A sympathy divorce. I'll bring that up to his wife tonight. They could get remarried. We could even use the slush fund for his wedding to his ex-wife. A little better, bigger. Do you think that if they do get divorced, that almost adds more years to how long he'll play? Because he's got nothing else to do.

I think at that point it's like, well, that's just a guarantee. He'll keep playing until 50. Yeah. Want to keep playing so that you can – because otherwise if he retires, he can't keep the Twitter and Instagram avatar of him in pads, so people wouldn't know he's a football player.

Yeah. Think about that. Is he on record having any other talents than football? He's good at chugging beers. Really? Yeah, which I think that's overrated. Like, his talent of chugging beers, I've heard that story. I've seen him chug a beer.

I think everyone's like, oh, we don't know anything about Tom Brady, the private life. So he chugs a beer and everyone's like, holy shit, he chugged it so fast. I'd fucking kill him in a beer chugging contest. Facts. Truth. Do you have that ability to open your throat? Big time. Pour it down like one of those salmon?

All of it. Wow. Get me a beer. I'll fucking chug it. I killed Dana. He's the beer guy. Yeah, I'd fucking. I would like to formally challenge Tom Brady to a beer chug,

and we'll put up each other's Super Bowl rings. Yeah. That will be what we'll do it for. You have a Super Bowl ring? I have no super bowl rings that would be the joke damn really pumping me up today i like it i like it a lot francis is going to get wet today yeah we should probably because we have to this show's not going to be that long today because

we have to go to philly should we should we spin and see if francis oh man can i leave before the no no no nope nope no we did is there like it's only one person gets is there like shave your hair nope not anymore that one you wouldn't have to be part of anyway because that's all well now you gotta you gotta actually you would have to be a part of the acrylic nails, yeah. What's booger cleaner? That one I... I don't know what he's doing with that. Someone keeps putting their boogers on the urinals in the men's bathroom. They've been doing it for years.

You just got to go clean it. You got to clean them up. Yeah, I can live with that. Disgusting. I mean, if this hits, if any of these hits, there's a secondary wheel, so you still have great chances. Why is somebody putting their boogers on a urinal? Wait, so when they tweeted it, so many other people from different workplaces

across the country were like, we have a guy that does that here too. It's a thing. Now, if the booger cleaner, if that hits, can I choose not to clean the boogers, but to just beat up the person who does it if I can find them? I mean, we could put together an investigation. Yeah, like, what if I punch them in the nose and break their nose? No the boogers, but to just beat up the person who does it if I can find them. I mean, we could put together an investigation. Yeah, like what if I punch them in the nose and break their nose?

No more boogers. Yeah. Or bigger boogers. We could do a DNA thing, right? What do we think it is? Oh. I think it's multiple people. No way.

Two shooters? There's more boogers. Yeah. There's multiple. Were you guys never in middle school and high school when people would rub their boogers? Is it the stall or is it the urinal stall? The urinal side.

Yeah, that's where, when I was in high school, there'd be boogers all over the place. Sometimes that dividing wall as well. That is a guy thing. We had a kid in middle school who caused the teachers to bring together all the boys in a meeting, and the teacher said, unfortunately, we found that somebody's been defecating in the urinal and we all looked at each other and said what is

defecating mean and then they said pooped and we all started laughing it is funny it's a funny gag yeah Larry it's a funny guy one of the funniest things you can do poop is hilarious because it's stinky sticky sticky. It just happened to me. It comes from a butt. It comes out of your butt hole. You just pooped the other day? Maybe. What do I got? What do I got?

Don't I have? Let me see what I got. Let me show you. Oh, shit. That's the phone. Right here. There's Julio. Right here.

It's just yesterday. Oh! So it was the Washington Square Park bathroom. Oh, those are very nice. No, they are not. You have to inspect that. I want to open up a subscription Park bathroom. Oh, those are very nice. No, they are not. I want to open up a subscription public bathroom. There's nice bathrooms around the city with attendance,

and you could pay like $25 a month, and then you have a nice clean bathroom everywhere you go in the city. I think it's brilliant. It's hard as fuck to go to the bathroom here. Oh, yeah. I originally started a map. I live in Fidei. Everything's a memorial.

I know where the most of them are. Here is Bean and Bean. Bean and Bean? This vicinity. Did you just show a picture of your shit? That wasn't mine. Oh, it was just one you saw. That's if you want to shit close to here,

I'm going to Bean and Bean. Unlocked bathroom, public. Why'd you give that away? Right. Yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing, dude? I think he doesn't shit at Bean and Bean. He does not shit at Bean and Bean.

I'll shit here. But if you don't... You're faking him out. You don't shit at Bean and Bean. There's no way. It's probably something next door to Bean and Bean. You have a camera at Bean and Bean? Is that what's going on? Shit there this morning. You shit at Bean and Bean this morning? Yes. Why is it Bean and Bean? Well, if you miss the first Bean

Xanax? Francis, we're still spinning the wheel He's trying to get out of this He's trying his best His team's here Also, Alex and Graham and Francis' wife are definitely fucking It just makes sense It does, it just all links up

It'd be perfect. It'd be funny too if they... No, that's too far. Francis is very pro Armie Hammer as well. Oh. He was very, very...

Right. Pro. Pro? Just eating people? He just... I don't know if he saw the issue. Is Armie Hammer

ever going to be able to act again or is that over? I don't think so he solved the issue. Is Armie Hammer ever going to be able to act again or is that over? I don't think so. Isn't he selling real estate in the Bahamas? Probably. That's a tough one to come back from. That has to be the easiest job in the world. Oh, Jesus.

I'm just seeing some of the people who do. I would say, okay, let me easiest job in the world. Not to succeed at, okay, let me, easiest job in the world. Not to succeed at, but I'll say the easiest job in the world. All right, I'll start. So you're saying that? No, easiest job in the world. Stay-at-home mother.

There's many. How about non-starting college football scholarship athlete? That's not a job, though. But, like, maybe the 90th guy on the roster who's got a scholarship thoughts on that i did the math um there's like a what is it like 250 ish division one schools yeah 80 plus each that's like 25 000 full rides pretty job. I would say construction probably. Or anyone that works. Is that not your big argument that whole week?

I always take my arguments. I say if they don't deserve. I never said they don't. Everyone's like you should. They should. Never mind. They shouldn't have their scholarships taken away. Oh, that was it.

It should be more proportionate throughout. Yes. All sports. Yeah. Jesus. I saw a TikTok today. Do sports. Yes, all sports. Jesus. I saw a TikTok today. Does Julio have a fat ass? Yeah.

He's got a thick body. No kidding. I'm going to be staying here for a long time. Julio. Look at that guy. Construction workers, easy job. Wait, what? That was what Seth said. seth said kidding laying brick yeah

that's anything with your hand laying brick is the welding i saw a tiktok underwater welding you know he's got a fat ass should we ask him oh ask him what we know yeah that's true that realtors are like the club promoters of the real estate world like straight guys who are realtors are like immediate red flags for women and that they're kind of the club promoters of the real estate world. Like straight guys who are realtors are like immediate red flags for women. And that they're kind of like club promoters of real estate. Like there's something about them. Specifically straight guys who do real estate that's kind of like. Somebody came up to my boy Cleveland and they were like you should be a real estate agent. And he said why.

And she said because you have a nice smile. That all it takes. Yeah. Well I assume that any attractive real estate agents, they fuck in the houses. They fuck in the houses. That's what they're selling. Jay could be a good real estate agent

because he's so good at eating pussy. Yeah, that's true. And he knows how many doors. I'm going to get you in this house right now. You're going to have to eat my box. So be it. All right, sign right here. Sign right here.

This is your house now. He eats his way to the top. Yeah, that's how you do it in real estate if there's anybody out there selling their house let big cat try to sell it tours i'll do it this is random but the hot yoga place i've been going to just brought in this guy named dr john and i don't know if he's a real doctor but his first workshop is on hip opening. It's all women. And it's all these photos now that he took over the Instagram for the hot yoga place. It's all photos of him smiling into the camera as he's adjusting women. And he's doing workshops on how to better yourself and blah, blah, blah.

But hip opening is his first work. I feel like that's a good racket if you're a guy. We've watched those videos. The videos that like- With Lu Dong? Yeah. The accounts that just have Like chiropractors

Snapping the backs of like Big breasted women Yeah And then they all moan in unison Did you see one of those videos? That's a good job to have Whatever Dr. John does I forget what that video looked like

If we can find it Just for I just forget What do you got? What do you guys got? That's my doctor. Oh, shit. Doctor?

Cancer? Uh-oh. Let's see the reaction. Not to him. Not to him. It does not look good. Oh, no. It doesn't look good.

Oh, my God. Cass has a doctor? No way. That was the first surprise. Do you guys have doctors? No. I haven't been to the doctors. I haven't been to the doctors

since I started working here. I went to the dentist yesterday. Only two cavities. Not bad. I just got one this morning. I've been to the doctors since I started working here. I went to the dentist yesterday. Only two cavities. Not bad. I just got one this morning. Got it filled. Half my face is numb. What is it, ass? What is it? No. Prescription. For what?

Yeah, what? I have to take a lot of prescriptions. For what? For your fucked up brain. Is it for your fucked up brain or your back? For your fucked up body. Is it for your fucked up brain or your back? Or is it for your fucked up body? Body or brain? Body. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Do you have one of those old grandmother pill things with the days? No, but I should. Yeah. Do you have enough to fill that thing? I have to take... No. How many pills a day? Two right now.

What are they? It's like what your mental health is. Anti-psychotic? No. Are you taking any for fun? I take Zoloft. I take... Oh, that's normal.

Yeah. I used to take Welbutrin, and one time... You're supposed to take it with a ton of water. I didn't know that. And I got it stuck in my throat. Oh. And what I didn't know is that... Has anyone else ever gotten one of those stuck in their throat i've gotten a zoloft stuck in my throat it burns it burns so bad i thought i was dying i called the hospital

i was like i can't get it out it was and they're like yeah i was literally on the floor like it'll stop in about like six hours it just burned it was like more water i tried she's like why don't you try it did nothing fixed it and i was, this is causing me more anxiety than I had before I took this anti-anxiety pill. Holy shit. It was like fucking terrible. So take it with lots of water. I don't take Zoloft or Welbutrin. Is that the one that hits you horny?

Because I'm a straight man. No, you can't get off. I don't do it because I just take out all my anger and anxiety on weaker human beings. I've been bottling it up my entire life, and my future wife is in serious danger. Yeah, right. When I was at Bro's last night, they were just... Uh-oh. Just a big bucket of pills.

Right at the door. And psychotics. Right at the door. And psychotics. Right at the door. This dude eating beans. No, I have to take medicine for my pitoriasis. Yeah, I was going to say for your rash. That shit looks good. I feel like it's going well.

It's getting better. You're mangled inside and out. No, it's getting a lot better. But I have to take this prescription Claritin just every day. What's Claritin for? Allergies? It's like itchiness. It helps with the itchies.

The itchies. That's the medical term. Just don't itch. Yeah. It's actually gotten a lot better. I think it might have been a stress thing, honestly. Are you taking so many pills you can't get a boner? No, none of those affect my...

You've been throbbing, right? Yeah, consistently. Are you taking so many pills you can't get a boner? No, none of those affect my... Oh, you've been throbbing, right? Yeah, consistently. Hard cock? Yeah, and I have a cold sore on my lip now, which is also from stress. Just kissing too many people at your shows? No. Quarantine was right. Ready for the pussy. I've been getting cold sores my entire

life, so... So you started young Yeah My dude The stress of herpes Pretty much Hell yeah Let's spin the wheel

Francis isn't coming back is he But he will be on the wheel And I will bully him If I have to. Oh, people are going to be so mad! Yay! Oh, that... It makes people so mad. So mad. What are you going to do?

So mad. Nothing you can do, bitches. What are you going to do? Ain't nothing you can do. The wheel is just. Oh, my God. People that get mad are the same people that get mad when we disobey the wheel. Yeah. Right. They just.

Oh, so many L's in the chat. Love it. Tough titty. I feel like they haven't been punished in a while. Yeah. I do have to go to labor. That seems happy. Yeah.

Let's punish him. I feel like I'm miserable. I do want someone to get acrylic nails again. I would just like that. I feel like I'm miserable. I do want someone to get acrylic nails again. I would just like that to happen all the time. I'm going to go comically long. Just the curls. Yeah, I'm going to look like everybody's auntie.

That one, I think going comically long would be better than going the length that Roan went. It's like, Roan, you would forget it's there, and then you'd just catch it out of the corner of your eye, and you'd be like, what the fuck? Remember the ones from the 2008 Guinness Book of World Records? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was thinking in my head the entire time. That shit was so gross. Somebody on Jackass did a beer luge down it. Oh!

That's right. That's so gross. We don't owe another Zaz Wild, do we? No. I don't think so. We owe a 12-hour. Yeah, we do owe that. We will do that. We owe another Zoswild, do we? No. I don't think so. We owe a 12-hour. Yeah, we do owe that. We will do that.

We owe another Zoswild? No. We ended on it, but I think we had agreed to just get rid of it. You can't do it while another one's pending. Wasn't that when we took it off to do a spin? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what happened.

We'll bring back Zoswild in a few months. When's 12-hour happening? We've got to do it. I said if we pick a friday i'm down where it's uh we start like 3 a.m yeah and then we just do it friday so that way we don't have to do another show the next day but yeah i think i'm about this friday and the next friday and the next friday it's got to be a friday where you're not traveling for college football, too. Right. Okay, I'll make sure it happens before Thanksgiving.

Okay. Okay? We need to spin again. Okay. Why don't we do it on Thanksgiving so I don't have to go home? That'd be awesome. Oh, no. Oh, my. Oh, no.

Oh! Finally hit it. Oh, no. Finally hit it. So this has been like, what, four months since we came up with this idea? Yeah, it's been a while. Has it been that long? Someone here has to. So this is kind of morally controversial.

Is it? We might take a job away from somebody that needs it. We have to figure out the right way to do it. Well, it's no... We said that you can't apply for a job, like a minimum wage job. So use... That's what I think would be the best.

Oh, I think it's better if you have to apply for a fucking... Okay, yeah, like an office job. Can you ever stop when you get a first interview? How does it stop? What ends the job search? Get a job. You have to get the job? You have to get the job.

So we'll have to do some planning because this is one of those ones where if we do it correctly, I think it will create great content. I would actually be curious to see if I could still get a job in early intervention special ed. Right. Yeah. I wonder if I could get a part-time design job. Okay. Let's do it. Are we spinning for who has to do it?

Yes. Yes. Or, okay, we spinning for who has to do it? Yes. Should we spin who has to do it, or should everyone just have to go interview? You should have to do it with what you're qualified for. What your degree is in, what your background is in. We'll figure out. TJ will work. You have no degree nor background. TJ will work.

There's like a PNG. He has no background. The way this should work, if it works well, is TJ will work there's like a PNG he has no background the way this should work if it works well is TJ will work with the person we'll plan it out maybe even talk to the job

and get cameras set I don't know how we'll do the cameras thing but we want to obviously I want it to be a very good video that we can watch but like you could do

like the chive like a different... Like another Barstool. Pro Bible. And what if you love it and quit Barstool? That would backfire. If it was Big Hat, they'd be like,

you're going to run the company? You can have it. Yours should be to buy big dogs. Yeah. CEO. I want to see you. What's your background? Nothing. Real estate.

Yeah, there you go. I guess I could do that, yeah. That would be, if it lands on you, you have to get a billboard. Okay. You could like shadow a real estate agent. Yeah, I mean, I'll do it. I'll take the test. You'd look great in a bench hat.

Oh, fuck. This would suck. It would be very good. Alright, so everyone's on it. Are we doing elimination? I've noticed the ass. Francis needs to be on here. Wait, did Julio just walk back out?

Yeah, Francis has to be on here. He jokes about guys out in front of him. We've got to get him in here and ask about his fat ass he has a girl ass yeah uh that's all man leave it to the men to have yeah perfect ass like if blatman and cory had a child who are you guys rooting for uh for kb or chay chay having to like because chay would get a job but it also would just be funny i guess maybe not uh i went wrong okay do you have to enlist oh yeah oh yeah i should go back and see if i i should try and join the military yes that could be tricky because if i do go far enough i can't go back yeah that could be slippery you just lose kate forever off the fucking wheel

oh man okay spin it it's elimination ah brandy okay oh That's good Hey, Julio Yo, quick question, bro I've been gawking all day Yeah, are you caked up? My word Yeah, you want to talk about that? Talk about this mic Talk about this mic real quick

There's always so much Hey Yeah Bro, are you Are you fucking You guys have not discovered something new Yeah, I know, but It's not Congrats Yeah, dude Is there something worth congratulating? Bro, are you fucking... You guys have not discovered something new. Yeah, I know, but congrats.

Yeah, dude. Is it something worth congratulating? Dude, you have a librarian ass. Dude, you have a fucking huge ass. I want to latch on to it. Yeah. Why wouldn't you be proud of that? It's embarrassing, dude.

No, dude. No, dude. No. Because I'm not at your level, but it was my thing growing up, and it's not. There's no benefits. Oh, yeah, there is. You just get made fun of. I get made fun of for having no ass. I have no ass as well.

Right. There's definitely a healthy medium. No, but there should be, like, you should do better with women. No, I think big asses are in. Girls love big asses on the phone. Big asses are. Really, I've found that it depends on who you're dealing with. I've been shamed by partners in the past.

I had someone say to me, I don't need thick thighs in between my thick thighs. That's her problem. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her.

It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. It's on her. You could solve this on your own. I guess, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

Are we a baker the way you got that cake? The cake. I did. I don't know what to tell you. You got what you got. Yeah. I don't know how to ask that, dude. That's such an awkward.

Hey, so you also have an ass? We've got a few asses around here, so you're good. We've talked about ass the two times. Of man ass both times I've done this show. Oh, okay. So, yeah. You've got an few asses around here, so you're good. We've talked about ass the two times, of man ass both times I've done this show. Oh, okay, so yeah. You've got an athletic jogger on. Has anybody ever looked at your ass and mistook it for a female ass at first? No, because it lies beneath a masculine back.

I could do that. Is he getting a wooga? Oh, he's getting a wooga. He's activated a wooga? Oh, he's getting a wooga. Always activated a wooga mode. And you are technically an employee of Barstool Sports, so we can sexually harass you. Yeah, I think. Is that?

Yeah, that's the law. Section C of Article 2. We're allowed to do this. No, it is. It's our right action. Well, I look forward to the peach emoji just being on all my shit. Yeah. We just want to say congrats, dude. I appreciate you guys. I am green with envy.

Oh, Nick has been just licking his lips every time you walk by. You walk by with the, you know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm happy to brighten your day, dude. Don't trip over my tongue on the way out, dude. Appreciate you guys. Thanks, Jimmy.

We'll hear it later. All right. Hey, we'll see you, buddy. You want us to cut the cameras as you stand up? No, it's okay. You guys can watch me walk out if it really gets fun. Whoa. Whoa.

Hey. That's fun. That's just good fun, sexual harassment. We should do that to a chick Yeah Just be like Whoa equal opportunity Come in here Treat everyone the same

Get in here Alright back to the wheel So you've got a fat ass Don't you honey Have you always And the boys at home Can fill in the blanks Who that hypothetical's about

I don't have anybody In particular And the boys at home can fill in the blanks who that hypothetical's about. I don't have anybody in particular. It sounds like you do the way you finish that sentence. No, but I'm thinking. Oh, go to me, go to me, go to me. Get there, get there, get there, get there. Get there, get there, get there, get there. We're so fucked now. So fucked now. Oh, and your flashlight's on. Okay. Get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, get there, I didn't want to have to make a resume. Cover letters are the worst.

Oh, wow. Oh, Nick. Okay, so it's jinxing everything. Che. I would like to see Che. I like to see Che the most. Owen, you're safe. Thank God. About to find a new job?

Owen, what would you have gone for? Yeah, what would you have done? I don't know what I would do other than this. I actually would love to watch Francis do this. Yeah. Me too. I feel like Francis could land. I think we have to do a wheel of potential jobs, too.

Yeah. I think we all submit one that they could apply to. Zah, you're safe, Zah. Francis would be great. So at this point right now, I think everything's funny. TJ, I don't want to have – that would suck for TJ. Because he'd have to show that he went to Rutgers. Yeah.

I mean, he would be hunting for a job forever. Forever. A guy like me went to Pepperdine. The Wave, right? Wait, can you lie on the resume too? Yeah, can we lie? Yes. Oh, absolutely.

We'll build the person's resume. Yes. Yes. We'll create like a fake LinkedIn. I'll buy the LinkedIn profile We'll put a fake LinkedIn And you get Maybe that's how we do it

Is you get job hunted Yes you get head hunted Yes Holy shit And then we just put ourselves As the references So then we just Just confirm all the lies

Yeah Let's see if we can get someone Like a really high paying job Yeah Yeah Francis could sit down At like an eight-hour super day with a hedge fund. Yeah.

Right. Nice foresty palette. I like that. Oh. Kate's going to war. No. Should I join the National Guard? Who?

Yeah. I'm personally rooting for KB. I mean, you already fought for the U.S. Why don't you try another country? Okay, what have you done, like, career-wise aside from battle? I worked stadium concessions. Nice. Where?

Where the Barstool Classic is going to be, Wells Fargo Center. That was what I did right before this they're always a little jovial I like arena concession workers yeah that was me hairnet and all I'm trying to think what else did I do I've had a million different jobs

the military I worked facilities for a building so like if the toilets were clogged or there was a problem in the building I would go fix it like a maintenance lady almost. So yeah, I don't know what I would,

I don't know what I would do. Figure it out. Yeah. I mean, it's not her yet. Yeah, that's true. All three of these outcomes are fantastic.

Oh God. Dast, you're safe. I'm already, the thought of interviewing makes me so uncomfortable. This is the best, these are the two most awkward meetings. I have some horror stories. Holy shit. Interview horror stories on my end. Yeah, yep. That's a seven.

The worst was the ramp company. The ramp company? I tried to work as a ramp saleswoman selling handicap ramps. Oh, I was going to say, there's like parking ramps. How do you sell? You want to be able to go up. Yeah, and that was the interview. Use stairs for these cars.

Use a ramp. God. They made me take a math test, which I failed, and then they still were so desperate for a ramp sales lady. And then they told me i had to wear like covered they're like super religious from my ankles to my neck to my wrists and i accepted the job and then i went to cole's trying to find a full body cover outfit and then i cried and i had to call and be like i'm sorry i don't accept this job oh awful yeah all right that's the job i'm gonna dominate ramp company ramp sales yeah okay uh Dominate. Ramp company. Ramp sales. Yeah. Okay.

Best of seven? Best of seven. KB, what would you do? So whoever gets it four times is safe. With my degree, I could work in a preschool. Does that ever go away? Early intervention. Does it what? No, I still have the degree.

No, I didn't know if there was certifications you needed. I have an early intervention certificate so i could work with birth to three kids in developmental this like okay those interviews and if kyle doesn't get a job if it is kyle can we use a room to set up like an independent studio so can kyle like babysit here or that is a thing like therapy you're supposed to do it in their home but i could bring them in okay yeah So can Kyle babysit here? That is a thing. Speech therapy. You're supposed to do it in their home, but I could bring them in. Okay. Everyone brings their kids in for a day, puts them in here with KB.

Well, we could get you a job anywhere because we're going to lie on the resume. Yeah, I would like to try something else. I would like to maybe see if we can get you a big accounting firm. I want you to be a pilot, dude. That would be so sick. We could have Quigs fake that you pass the CFA. I mean, I think it

would be fun if you could have to do a polygraph. We might end up going to jail. Well, not us. KB. KB will. If it's KB, can we pick out your interview outfit? I would love to do... Yeah. We'll do all that if it's KB and if it's you, war.

You go to war. You just go right right to war There's always one going on Something's always popping off somewhere Maybe you gotta fight for Russia We'll have you volunteer as one of those in Ukraine You can be a volunteer They don't have to pass anything, they just ship you right out It'd be great for CBT

They're pumping out content over there Have you seen it? You don't have to pass anything. They just ship you right out. It would be great for CBT. We're trying to get Billy to do that. Great for CBT. And they're pumping out content over there. Oh, have you seen it? It's nothing but videos. Straight up videos of the war. If you want a good TikTok, that's where you have to go. Yeah. Okay.

You reading ads mid-battle? It's RPGs for part two by Robat. Maybe he's got one one nothing Kyle he has one whoever gets to four is safe wait wait no I thought if you get four you're the one who has to do it.

We've flip-flopped so many times. It's one-one. Let's decide right now. You want to be the first to four. Yes. Okay. The other person has to do it. You don't.

Okay. Okay. So zero-zero first to three. It doesn't have to do it. I don't know what I do. I don't know numbers or finance or any of that stuff. It has two. He gets two more.

KB has to. Oh, this is good. Okay, good. He has to apply for a job until he gets one. What about it? It has three. KB, what if you're a gym trainer or something? Yeah, I was just thinking that.

Oh, Chaz Gr thinking that. Oh. Chaz Grisham? Chaz Grisham. Yeah. We don't know yet. I think we know. You just fucked yourself. I don't think so.

Yes. He is trying to get a new so. Yes! He is trying to get a new job. Yes. All right. This is going to be a great video series. Yes. Should we all nominate a job position that he has? Actually, Stephen, I know Stephen's listening to this right now.

Talk to your fucking old friends at sales. Let's get this sold by LinkedIn or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's get this sold by like LinkedIn or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's get this video series sold. Well, yeah, we're going to show how easy it is to fake a job. That part maybe not. That part maybe not.

Yeah, you could literally just type anything. I like this though. I'm going to be like the new talent acquisition guy here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I kind of want to work for a college football team. Oh. Okay. I could get you an interview. I got you. What kind of want to work for a college football team. Oh, okay.

I could get you an interview. I got you. What do you want to do? You got me, TJ. Oh, Rutgers he's talking about. You want to work for a winner. No, I want you to go to a small school.

Something realistic? Yeah. West Point. Bucknell. Ooh. Okay. What do you want? Strength and conditioning coach?

Something I can have to get. Like Wagner, maybe. Baruch. Does New York City have college football teams? Columbia. Oh, Columbia. LIU. Wagner.

Are they the Dolphins? Sharks. Sharks. Is Wagner in New York or is that in Connecticut? Staten Island. I think there's another Wagner. Bryant is in... Bryant's Rhode Island. Oh, Manhattan College. I don't know I think there's another Wagner. Bryant is in... Bryant's Rhode Island.

Oh, Manhattan College. I don't know if they have a football team, but... Fordham's got a team. Oh, yeah. Yes, they do. Oh, yeah. Oh, you should do Fordham. We'll think of something great.

I mean, we'll send out the applications. Right, yeah, we'll try. Tough mid-football season, I'm sure. Yeah. Basketball? Basketball. That would be funny. Women's not sure. Basketball? Basketball. That would be funny. Women's?

Well. Women's volleyball? I think any collegiate sport besides wrestling. I feel like you wouldn't adopt a kid, would you? Is that a job? Dad? No, I wouldn't do that kid, would you? Is that a job? Dad?

No, I wouldn't do that. Something, yeah. Okay, to be continued. Yeah, I figured it out. You're out Friday? I'm on Friday. We're out tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll save some fat bear content.

Should we do resume building Thursday? Yeah, maybe that will be. We'll start to build your resume. About Thursday, Friday. Okay. Start building your resume. I can plug in my computer. We could design this thing.

Oh, love it. You can choose typefaces, colors. Oh, love it. Then we'll just get it out there. Boys, roll yourself. I'm feeling Garamond. I love it. There's no one better to have had this happen to.

Yeah, this is perfect. You are. You are the one. Okay, yeah. Kyle, you're the perfect mix of awkward, but you also, I think when you're serious, you would get hired. I think you'd get hired.

Like you're actually like very- Yeah, right. When you turn it on, it's like this guy is an accomplished guy. He should get hired. Well, yeah. You have your PhD. It says it on your resume. Yeah.

You went to the moon on your resume. Yeah. Yeah. How many cancers has he cured? No, he's had. Yeah. Yeah. He's a three-time survivor. He cured them all by himself. Yeah.

Molecular biologist. Can we have you do a grand gesture, like how Arya put his resume in pizza boxes that he sent here? Oh. A grand gesture to get your foot in the door kind of thing. We stuff them in live parrots. Yeah. You have to kill the parrot yeah we give we give every uh person who's doing the interview a knife you want the resume i'd

imagine a lot of like interview processes like are zoom based like virtual oh yeah that would be actually ideal i don't know what the legality of recording those are. I think we can... So, what's Steven's email? Let's get Steven... I want Steven to help with this. Am I using an alias? No, no, no. I'm saying I think we could also use some of the Yak people. I got to be a tough Google.

If you're a Yak listener, if you're a Yak listener and you have a job in New York City, if you work at a place in New York City that you could possibly do an interview where we could film it. Obviously, we don't want the yak listener doing the interview, but if they could figure out a way to like, hey- Yeah, we need one mole. You work somewhere. We need one mole who can help us get a foot in the door and be like, hey, we're going to film this.

And that person knows, oh, it also won't go terribly wrong. Can we do a quick background check on Kyle Bauer before we end the show? No, don't do this. This is going to be bad. What if we just Google Kyle Bauer? Way down. Just the name? I think it would be good.

I don't think it would have any Barstool stuff. Probably not. Probably the wrestling. Oh, there you go. Wrestling. Yeah. We could also do Chaz Gresham. Can you Google Chaz Gresham, please?

Wait, can you Google Kyle Bauer and then see the first word? Like, have the thing. What's the first word that pops up? I want to know what people want to know about. See if Chaz Gresham. How do you spell it? S-H-A-Z. What?

What? Say S? Oh, no, no, my bad. Obviously C, yes. Chaz? G-R-E-S-H-A-M. Oh, he's another wrestler? Yeah, I think he's a biracial boyfriend.

Oh. That's great. Your alter ego is... That's perfect. Say you wrestled Chaz Gresham I didn't know Chaz Gresham Was a real person

That makes it even funnier Alter ego Just a guy you know I don't even know him He's probably very creeped out I just remember his name From brackets Chaz Gresham

Oh man Alright Oh man Well we gotta get down to Philly. Everyone buy a ticket. If you haven't bought a ticket, you can see us in a few hours. We're going to go down to Philly right now. And yeah, well, Thursday will be resume building day.

I don't even know how many pages. You should maybe do like six pages stapled. Really set them off. Yeah, that's like a no-no. Yeah, no. Billy actually brought, when he applied, he brought like five pages and it wasn't stapled mm-hmm they set him off which is yeah that's oh yeah oh no you know Billy actually brought when he applied he brought like five pages and it wasn't stapled because he ran out of a stapler so he he did the thing where he folded it in the corner let's show this innovation yeah maybe the worst when I

intern interviewed I brought like my Twitter analytics page we should probably make an entire Twitter of your alias too. Yeah. Oh yeah because they're going to look at social media and

a bunch of 10x stuff. Yeah and like math formulas. Oh you know Grant? You're hired.

Maybe we get an interview with 10x incorporated. That would be oh my god. I like that. They would be Oh my god. I like that. They would probably be cool with us recording. Oh yeah, definitely. They record everything. This is a dream

for me. Yeah. There's a lot of plans for us. We're not good with plans, but I'm excited. Alright. This is going to backfire. Alright. The job. We'll do it. Okay, we'll see everyone tomorrow. We had to cut a show. We're going to Philly. See everyone tomorrow. Subscribe. cut a show we're going to Philly see everyone tomorrow

subscribe thumbs up the video thank you We'll see you next time. Thank you.