The Yak - Big Cat Live Updates The Barstool State Of The Union | The Yak 9-13-21

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Damn that son of a boy dad news is SHOCKINGYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So we got a little issue here on the Yak. There's an all-company meeting going on right this second. A mandatory meeting. I think you know what it's about. So we got a little issue here on the Yak. There's an all-company meeting going on right this second. A mandatory meeting. 50 feet away from here. I want to go to it.

A little disrespectful that they decided to do an all-company meeting during the Yak, essentially telling us how they feel about us. That's fine. I'm not going to take it personally. I think you guys probably should. Yeah, they don't want us at the meeting. Why? Are they going to talk about us?

No, more that they were like, oh, is everyone free at 1 o'clock? Okay, cool. Yeah. But I'm going to, what I'm going to do for the listeners, oh, here comes Sass. I'm going to try to sign into the meeting on my phone and then transcribe the meeting live to you guys in this room and the people watching the act. Yeah, I'm sure the fans will appreciate that. I mean, the fans would love it if we just went into the other room, wouldn't they?

Our bad sass show started a little early today. That's a big bite of food you guys are eating. You guys got to talk. We also have a Frank problem we have to address. Oh, yeah. I think we have multiple Frank problems multiple big problem. He's coming off a W. This is America Against the subway lady, I don't think it was a loss everybody was chanting his name And I think he's gonna be like oh that that was good content I need to get more altercations on the subway platform. Well, I studied the tape.

Did you? I know it's one weakness. It's the embrace of a human touch. You can't, Brandon. I did see one of the replies. Alright, Brandon, you go to the meeting, but you have to come back every five minutes and tell us what's happening. Fair? Alright, no, seriously though, five minutes. Seriously.

Every five minutes, you have to walk back in here and tell us what's happening. Hey, what's up? You have it on? Oh, you have it on nah we'll have brand yeah bring it over here i'll just follow without sound that will be even better because then i don't even know what's being said and it's just okay perfect all right so we have a frank problem i actually got into a standoff with frank this morning that almost frank deserves more credit than he gets i know people don't want to hear this especially the yak listeners i because they weirdly just hate frank now and i still love him frank did say to me because i was oh yeah this is very interesting look it's an all-company meeting and there's no sound on and it's just erica talking put your open up your uh webcam

do you think i've closed captions? Yeah, I think they do. Okay, I'll put those on. What I was going to say was Frank said, so I said to Frank, it was very clearly put into the small print that the Dolphins had to win convincingly. Not just win, they had to win convincingly.

And he goes, Big Cat, if you don't want me on the act, just say it. And I was like, no, I want you on the act. So yet again, I had a moment that I could have, we could have changed history, and I'm close to that.

We need to pull up video evidence. Like, Frank, Thursdays you're on the show, you are not the show. Right, right. So, you know, him dozing off when we have other people on on Thursdays

or calling it cringe. We're on track to hit. I shouldn't say these things. Oh, yeah. There's some goals. I want to know. There are some goals and we're. Oh.

Oh, wow. Son of a boy dad. That's huge. You didn't hear that part. He had no son of a boy dad's Being listed right now Last meeting we had Erica said she thought

I was going to hit A million subscribers On YouTube And I've gotten I think maybe 5,000 since then Oh shit Yeah

That chart will be up next A real steep decline Yeah We're the number one Sports, golf, and hockey Podcasts What about And son of boy dads Yeah Son of a boy dad Poker probably Poker probably Poker probably too They're the number one sports, golf, and hockey podcasts. What about?

And Son of Boy Dads. Yeah, Son of Boy Dads. Poker, probably. Poker, probably. Poker, probably, too. Probably not. All right, so what are we going to do for Frank? What are we going to do? A trial.

A trial. Yeah. A trial. He said he wants to call Roan to the stand. Yes, he does. He wants to make Roan. I hope Roan just pleads the fifth. And we do need a constructed an unbiased jury.

I think it's just Owen. Yeah, that's unbiased as fuck. Or do you think our security guard is up to snuff yet? Is he ready to be a superstar? Oh, big shout out to Son of the Boy Dad. State of the State, we're on track. Brandon's just texting me these things now. He needs to come in here and tell us.

Do they really give Son of the Boy Dad a shout out? No. God damn it. You used your head for more than a half. This is going to be sad. Sorry, I would like to know what's going on in the meeting. Sass is now checked out of today's show because you're going to only be thinking about this. I'm not, I promise you.

I just had what was debatably the best quest bar of my entire life. Oh, really? It made my morning. What's up with your stomach? Yeah, how's the tum-tum? Things are going well. Things are going well. Have you farted?

Yeah, I farted and I pooped a lot over this weekend. I didn't leave bed for almost the entire weekend. I think I was just really constipated. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, here's Brandon with an update. I didn't mention him. Okay, Brandon, don't give any details away.

No details, but good, bad, what's the vibe? Yeah. I don't want to hear about it unless it had to do with someone in the room. So it's very boilerplate so far. She's simply going over some numbers and saying we're on track to do what we want to do revenue-wise. That's good. Keep it vague. She said, big shout out to son of a boy dad.

Wow. Wow. Did she actually? She actually did. Great. She said we got a couple of new podcasts that are doing great bringing in new audiences. Said big shout out to Son of a Boy Dad and to Macro Dosing. Wow.

Those are the two that got new. Nice. And she said my name? She said your name? Did not. She said you're the brightest intern in the bunch. Except that time we found you in a box. That's pretty much it. Anything about the Brandon Walker College Football Show a box. That's pretty much it.

Anything about the Brandon Walker College Football Show? No. That's coming, though. All right, go back. I don't know that I need to go back. It seems like it's just a standard meeting. I thought somebody would be getting fired. You thought it was firing day.

I did. I do have it up right here. Are you listening to it? Well, I could start listening to it. Why don't you listen to it? Yeah. Because it's too crowded. There's too many people in Well, I could start listening to it. Why don't you listen to it? Let me just listen to it, yeah. Because it's too crowded.

There's too many people in this company. Ah, it's one of those situations where even, okay, I got it. Brandon doesn't want to be in there because he can't get credit for being in there because no one can actually see all the way back. No, no, no. If you could have sat in front, you would have. I did sit in the front. I squeezed through and I sat down in front of Erica. All right, I'm going to start listening.

You guys start talking about other stuff and I will then fill in everyone. Why don't we put it on the TV and guess what she's saying? That's probably not a good idea. Probably not a good idea. Because what if there is a firing slide? Yeah. You really don't like your internship. You really want to lose it.

I have a boy-die group chat. It's going crazy right now. These boys love this shit. Here we go. Connecting. So you went to this comedy show comedy show yeah it was insane it was really cool it was cool yeah i i read the blog and i kept looking for like a punch line or like no i thought it was like an irony no you just genuinely enjoyed the whole thing yeah and i read it and like usually when i read reviews it's like for a movie. And I'm like, oh, I'll go see that movie.

But what a big fuck you it was. It's the one thing that I was able to attend. I honestly wrote the blog. I wrote the blog because I want to talk about it on our podcast, and I needed a way to write down all my thoughts. Sure. No, that's smart. No, I read it too.

You also forgot the funniest guy. I know, but I didn't want to spoil it. Yeah. We can talk about it on this. I don't care. The funniest guy there was the DJ. I didn't want to spoil it. Yeah. We can talk about it on this. I don't care. The funniest guy there was the DJ. The DJ? The DJ would go. DJs are inherently funny.

No, this was something like you've never seen. He would DJ in between sets, and he would lead off by saying, I'm very famous in New York. He said it like six times. I'm very famous in New York. And then the beat would drop. That's awesome. Yeah.

It was crazy. He was playing All I Do Is Win. I had the crowd bouncing. That's the class. Yeah, that one. Transitions to anything. Hands drop. That's awesome. Yeah, it was crazy. He was playing All I Do Is Win. I had the crowd bouncing. Yeah, that one. Transitions to anything. Hands up, up, up, up. I'm very famous in New York. And then the bass would drop

and no one would care because it was a comedy show. Yeah. No one's there to like, we're all sitting down. How did they address 9-11? A little bit. Just a little bit.

A little tribute. Dave chappelle said that he said that he got he did uh the smaller venue in uh madison square garden 20 years ago on september 12th and he said that he got booed off stage as he was making 9-11 jokes one day after yeah i mean there's still action yeah yeah yeah there's stuff it was crazy seeing dave the like when dave chappelle went on stage it literally felt like god walked into the room people were going nuts people were like people were pissed though it was a weird crowd why it just seemed like it might have been we were saying this when we were leaving like it seemed like a lot of people there maybe like were there because they saw a bunch of like a-list celebrities on the list i'm like oh i want to go

to this yeah and don't they were audibly pissed yeah there was an orthodox jewish family that left and left good um yeah the girls next to me every single time it's not always that easy the girls next to me every time something would happen They'd turn to each other And be like That's not okay Really Yeah And I'd be like Why are you guys here

Why are you here Yeah And someone What are they saying What meeting Spitting shit Or uh Ryan Whitney

Pink Whitney Pink Whitney Okay Anything else No it's really hard To sit in this room With you guys talking Not not be able to hear anything you're saying. Why don't you stop? But do you want me to?

Man to man. Take those earbuds out. But don't you want me to? No, I want you to be a present for the show. Okay, fine. You afraid you're going to get in trouble, big cat? Do your job, bro. This is a big slide.

It's got a lot of Son of the Boy Dad on there. Does it really? A lot of Son of the Boy Dad on there. Does it really? A lot of Son of the Boy Dad. Sorry, Rowan's listening. He's my ears. Son of the Boy Dad. Top five publisher on TikTok. Top number one millennial golf franchise.

Top number flavored vodka. Okay. All right, I'm done. I'm done. You happy? Is Portnoy getting any shout outs? Son of the Boy Dad is. You happy? Is Portnoy getting any shout-outs? Son of a boy, dad is suspended from TikTok. Is Portnoy getting any shout-outs?

Portnoy? Yeah, is he getting any shout-outs? Yeah, he actually just said number one up-and-coming star. Oh, awesome. Dave Portnoy. Yeah. He's got to grind a little harder, though. He's kind of stealing booze and burgers, shtick, with the pizza thing.

Fuck. How was everyone's weekend? Solid. Cool. I'm feeling good today. Are you? Yeah, I'm feeling very good. You needed a bounce back.

I know. I'm taking a lot of vitamins. People have been talking in the comments. Shit's feeling right. Then tomorrow you're going to think you had a vitamin D overdose. No, I'm feeling right. You're feeling right? Yeah.

I love that. Shit's flowing well in the digestive system. D overdose. No, I'm feeling right. You're feeling right? I love that. It's flowing well in the digestive system. Well, I did fuck it up. I went and I got a bunch of vitamins. I was feeling good. And then I ate an entire family-sized bag of those sugar-free Swedish fish. Oh, you're going to be shitting your brains

out, dude. That was like Friday night. That's how you get gummy tummy. Not much. Just going through, saying that we have the number one hockey podcast, number one sports podcast, number out yeah that was like friday night that's how you get gummy tummy i know not much just going through saying that we have the number one hockey podcast number one sports podcast number one son of a boy dad podcast correct yes so not not a whole lot i probably won't go back now okay i got i have the slide show up all right so i'll monitor it okay in case anything big happens um steven big takeaways from nfl sund one. Jameis Winston is the greatest quarterback of all time. You shouldn't have passed on him.

We picked him up in our fantasy team, right? We got him. Game manager script. Five touchdowns. The man himself, is he going to call in? Is he going to call in? Jameis 101. I would actually like to hear from him. How does a man throw for 148 yards and five touchdowns? How's that possible?

He's a genius. And then one of the touchdowns was 55 yards. Yeah. So that was in the fourth quarter. Evan Stats texted me. I think he was going to be the first time ever. Did he carry on the Stats mantle? Yeah, he's Stats. He's Evan Stats now?

He's Evan Stats. Well, I don't know if I'm the only one who calls him Evan Stats. Well, Katie Stats is still Ebo. No, Katie Stats dropped the Stats. She's just Katie, period, like Mike Studd. I call her Statz. You know we live with him? Yeah.

Okay. I love Evan. Great guy. Katie Statz was with us in Michigan. Yeah. He had the headphones. He looks like he's trying to land. He's working at a fucking...

By the way, she's tightly wound. You got to be careful with her. No, we're good. Okay. It was a great moment. Yeah. Yeah. I love Katie Statz.

There was a moment... She's the best. There was a do-to-do on the plane. We've cleared it up. She's tightly wound. That's all. She works hard. Tightly wound.

Dave and I, on a Saturday afternoon, especially when we're traveling, we have a lot of games that we're betting on. Can't be in front of a TV all the time. Really rely on accurate updates from apps and what is going on in games because thousands of dollars swing in the balance. She might have given a wrong update. How? Not really a wrong update.

Katie's actually fantastic. She's really good at her job. No, she did give a wrong update. The score is the most important stat of them all. That is the stat. Yeah. But we hash it out. did give a wrong update the score you guys were on the plane stat of them all i that is the stat i uh yeah so but we we hash it out she was on the plane yeah it was her first time being around dave and i like dave and i just scream like give us an update give us an update and then it's like

the game's over and it wasn't you guys rough her up did it change anything yeah we kicked her off the plane we actually we should have like opened the door. Yeah, we handed her a parachute. We held her head out a little bit. We handed her a parachute. But it could be somebody's lunch. No, she's actually, she hung with the big boys, so to speak. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

I could only imagine. Yeah. It was fucking sick, dude. It was an awesome time. Sounds like it. Yeah. But Ann Arbor was fun. And, yeah.

What else? Should we play some Family Feud? No. No. That's too many. Not a nat 5. What did we talk about? I feel like Friday we had a good show.

What did we talk about? Let's talk about that again. Yeah, let's just redo that. Can we just replay the show? Yeah. I'd like that. I would appreciate that. Oh, a fucking rerun. Let's get the that again. Yeah, let's just redo that. Can we just replay the show? Yeah. I'd like that. I would appreciate that. Oh, fucking rerun.

Let's get the yak in syndication. I want that Matthew Perry bag. We should start a new season soon. Yeah, we should. We should actually start a new season after the Frank trial. That should be the season finale. Well, it should be a cliffhanger, yeah. Yeah, right.

Will Frank be in the new season? Have we talked about this yet? Because I've been in the meeting, obviously. Yeah, we did. So the trial has moved back now? No, the trial is going to be Thursday. new season? Have we talked about this yet? Because I've been in the meeting, obviously. Yeah, we did. So the trial has moved back now? No, the trial is going to be Thursday. This Thursday? Yep.

Wow, that's a quick legal proceeding. It is. It's going to be a very quick legal proceeding. We've got to figure out exactly how we're going to do it. Is Owen still the judge? I would like to actually. I'm going to watch To Kill a Mockingbird one night this week. KB, are you trying him?

No, no, no, he can't try him. I actually showed some resilience. No. I'm the only one who... I would like to pull up video clips and ask him to explain the behavior. Okay. I think we need to get a

PowerPoint and video. That's my question. We've got to get a PowerPoint together. I think it's probably going to fall on you, Nick. Just going to speak out loud here. I figured. A PowerPoint of the trial versus Frank and the trial of Frank Fleming,

trial of the century. Are we wearing blazers? The people versus Frank the Tank. Yeah, the people versus Frank the Tank, listing all of his transgressions, what he's being tried for, evidence, all that stuff. I will also participate with you nick you serious yes fuck yeah i mean i don't know how to work powerpoint neither do i

yeah you do i don't yes you do i swear i don't you're a smart guy powerpoint is extremely speaking of powerpoint oh shit son of a boy dad has grown a lot recently they're showing it right now. Look at that. Wow. That's impressive. He goes with the flow a lot better. I would just like to know if that's true. I don't know. I don't know the numbers. The flow is good.

Inner sass is a mess right now. I don't know the numbers. If they're showing off the numbers to the whole company, I would like to know them. Those are your numbers right there. Here. There's a lot of color on those charts. It'll be a meeting.

It's gone from red to green, though. That's good for you. It was never. Brother, it was never in the red. No, it's gone from red to deep red. It was maroon. No. Impossible.

Well, of course it was when you were just a seed in your dad's sack as a son of a boy dad. No. You had no listeners. No subscribers. My parents were my first subscribers. After you were born. That's right. They subscribed to you.

Unfortunately, can't unsubscribe. Subscribe. Yeah, oh wow, this chart is podcast performance. Okay, all right, this is good. This is good news. Read them off. Okay, this is good. This is good.

Good numbers. Oh, now they're doing content highlights. All positive stuff. You going to run out there? No, just, you know. I have yet to see Brandon Walker on the slideshow. Ridiculous. Wait until they get to the net negatives to the company slide.

People dragging us down the firing day. Is there ever like a meeting where they're like, things are going really bad? Well, things haven't been going bad in a while. No, no. We did have a meeting after personal van talk that was like, we're going to be okay. Seriously, it was. We did have a meeting after Barstool Van Talk that was like, we're going to be okay. Seriously, it was. We did have that. That was like when there was only like 30 of us.

I remember being in the cubes thinking like it's over for Barstool after you guys got canceled. No, I was in my cube. I was like, thank God I'm here. Dude, there could be so – I could go through the list. It's like four times a year. You could be like, oh, that's it. That's the end of barstool the last decade plus oh they got into it again they're fucked nah we should keep getting off

the mat all right content steve how's your data was your uh what are you doing were you worried about the tie i was very incredible i went the tie. The tie would have been incredible. I went back and clipped that just in case. Yes. Goddamn. It would have been incredible. I'd like to stand up for you real quick, Stephen. You never said Devontae Smith would not be good.

You said he wouldn't go in the top ten. Now, you were wrong, but you're not wrong. You never said he wouldn't be a good player. I thought he would be an awesome pro, which some people that have microphones in front of them right now didn't pick up on. How is your data? What is your win percentage? You're talking about Dan? Oh, what, me? You thought Devontae Smith was a bust. No, not true.

But if you think he's going to be an awesome pro, can't you go against just the raw physical? Yeah, my take was based on historical draft results, and nobody that size had gone that far. So I was surprised to see it go that way. When did Tavon go?

Tavon went nine, and he was the only other exception. Oh. Oh. Greatest highlight tape ever. Yep. Kidding. Reggie Bush High School. Against Oakley Hall.

Noel Devine High School is the greatest high school. Oh, yeah. What was the guy, Sam McGuff? Oh, McGuffey? Yeah, McGuffey. He was fucking crushing people in high school. Imagine having just a sick, like that. Just a sick highlight tape.

Yeah, you got to pop that in. Yeah. You definitely would have to pop that in if you never went pro. I mean, that's 10 years. Whenever someone's just sitting around being like. That's 10 or 12 years ago for McGuffey, so he's a 30-year-old man who just has a sick highlight tape. He brings that up. I would hope so.

We have Mello on Wednesday's PMT and he said that he will oftentimes watch the I'm Coming Home video. Really? I was like, how often do you watch it? He's like, oh yeah, I still watch it. I would imagine it's fucking awesome. That bar that Marty always goes to,

they just play Pat Light striking out Mike Trout on a loop. That's amazing. Yeah, on every TV. I fucking love it. That's hilarious. And it's like 18-2 in the game. Live event highlights. We're still classic. You didn't tell me Mello was going to be there.

Continues to be a huge success. Big cut. Oh, shout out to... Rough and Rowdy continues to draw major audiences except when Nick and KB are involved. Fair. Fair.

Well, they weren't allowing an audience. This slide says, Sass just keeps following Roan around. We don't know why. What were you going to say? Oh, wait.

Actually, wait. We are here. Wait. Oh, fuck. The Yak Live show in Brooklyn is in live event highlight. Jesus.

What? All right. Okay, yeah. Good job, boys. I mean, we did try. Can you confirm, Kyle? Look, see it? Yeah, fuck.

Damn. Uh-huh. We got there when the entire Ski Ball League broke down 17 times. Yeah. Remember that one dude that was just staring at i was convinced we were dying that night i was convinced i was gonna have big cat's blood on me my glasses were gonna look like what you what are you what are you talking about the crazy guy which guy there was this one dude who was just staring at big cat that's like a good 45 he was just like

like that and i was looking at him and I was like, and he just would not stop looking at Big Cat. Yeah. He wanted to kill me. He looked like he was like holding back the urge to stab Big Cat.

Jeez. Speaking of which, yesterday I walked by this dude and he was like, I have a knife with me. And then he was like, I'm going to poke you to death. What?

He would do that? Yeah. And did he? No, but it was just funny that he said, I'm going to poke you to death. And then that was do that? Yeah. And did he? No, but it was just funny that he said I'm going to poke you to death. And then that was the last thing he said to you? How many pokes?

He said suck my dick. A poke is a stab. Yeah, right. How many pokes would it take to kill you? A poke, I imagine he just lightly places the tip in. The tip of the knife just breaks the skin barely. Yeah, it's like almost a poke is what you get when you're when they're drawing like a little bit of blood.

Yeah, so it would have to be a lot of that. Oh, a poke is deeper than a prick. No, I think hardly though. I think a poke might be more shallow than a than a prick. Actually, I'm going to stop you there. If I use my finger. No, because like a poke doesn't

a poke doesn't always break the skin. If I use my finger, you're thinking of a finger. New talent because a poke doesn't always break the skin. If I used my finger. Oh, new talent. New talent. David Ortiz. What has he ever done? Old talent. If I took my finger and I poked you, how long until you died?

That's a great question. How many pokes would it take to kill someone? I think that'd be 6,000 pokes. Thousands. I don't think it'd be an infinite amount. I think you'd be... It'd be like 6,000 pokes. Thousands, yeah. It'd be more than 6,000. I think it'd be an infinite amount. I think you'd end up

dying of starvation. Just like living your life with somebody poking you. My arm is irritated right now. If I poked the same exact spot... I meant with a blade. No, if I poked the same exact spot,

eventually it would go through your skin, right? Yeah, you'd have to grow a nail. It would take years. I think the nail wouldn't grow. It would be filed down. Let me see your face.

Poke him. Poke him. If I just went like this. No. Yeah, I think the forehead you could. That's a pushing with your finger. That's not a poke. But if I did that for a week straight, you don't think that it would eventually start hurting?

No, a week of getting poked? No, it would just get more and more psychologically damaged. You get and then you guys be like chinese water do you want to have any interns anymore are they all full-time because we could have somebody come in here and just poke kyle the chef oh don't poke me oh no no we would poke owen to death we put we are poking in let's get a chicken i don't think that i don't think that's murder no not poking right it's hot it's like well you could have just been tougher than the poke. Oh, yeah, just stand up. Walk away.

Right. He just sat there getting poked. Okay, well, how long will it take to poke someone to death? What were you going to say, Steven? You're mad at me for what? I was kind of cheesed off you didn't tell me Mel was going to be here. Cheesed off. Cheesed off.

I'm sorry. I actually forget can I just say I forget sometimes that you have other interests outside of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers I was unemployed when Mello got traded and I had season tickets

it was my first year of season tickets and I refused to sell my ticket which would have given me a ton of supplemental income at the time and I went by myself just to see him get introduced. It was one of the greatest games I've ever been to atmosphere-wise. I'm sorry. That's okay. Yeah, the video was incredible.

I'm coming home. Yeah, with the Carmelo Anthony with the NY and the different color. It was incredible. Can we play that or are we not allowed to? The song. Treat. Steven, how did your day to do? Yes, good question, KB.

I've asked it five times. Yeah, but it was a good day. I'll total it up right now. A lot of underdogs won this week. I actually had a parlay that I put out that I just bet the data picks of the 1 o'clock games and at halftime, I was winning all of them except one. It was like a one-touchdown game. I'll tally that up right now

and let you know. All but one on the parlay. Not bad. What's going on in the meeting? Q1 through 3 advertising highlights. Oh, no. That's the worst part. Ad sale revenue.

Good. Except for the time that Anus ruined our deal with Roman. Yeah, we did. And we lost our presenting sponsor. We tried to ruin it. And we also tried Roman. Yeah, we did. We lost our presenting sponsor. We tried to ruin it. We did that. And we also tried to, yeah. And we have a series that is just anti-marketing.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. We should be fired. What did you guys do with Roman? They fucked it to death. I fucked it. Because the swipes are that good. I did a thing where, like, KB did a fuck a fan sponsored by Roman, and he said like, you

know, when I come, it's over. Yeah, actually, speaking of which, didn't you do that read? Is there a Roman read? No, it was Coors Light. No, what's the second one? Sport Clips. Oh, okay, let me do the Coors Light, then Brandon, because he's got great hair, can do the Sport Clips.

When you need to slow down, just open a Coors Light. It's a mountain cold refreshment made to chill. Tastes great from Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. Slow down and celebrate responsibly. Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com. What if someone poked you to death with their penis because they Roman Swipe so much? It would take much longer.

If you used a Roman swipe on like your finger, forget about it. I could finger bang a pussy forever. What would happen first if you got poked in the forehead

with a penis? Would you die or would they come first? They'd come. They'd come. It depends on the forehead. It depends on the forehead. You could sync it up.

To die and the death and the come at the exact same time? That'd be incredible. That's romantic. Yeah, that is. That's how I want to die. Are you ready? Penis ejaculating on my face. No, wait.

I'm close. The data was 10 and 5 yesterday. 10 and 5. That's a good data. Well, it's not data anymore, but it's a good record. That is good for the data. Steven, I'm sorry that I cheesed you off with the Mel thing. That's my fault.

That's okay. I was so surprised. I was like, Carmelo, Anthony was here. Are you kidding? Yeah, I don't know. I should have. That's okay. Yeah, you're right.

I'm not super outwardly Knicks, but yeah, I had season tickets. Yeah, I know you're a big Knicks fan. I just forget. When we get to football season, I'm like, how does Steven find time to breathe? I saw him in the hallway, and I didn't know what to say, so I physically bumped into him. Nice. And won? No.

And then the people around him were like, well, he's actually very upset about people without masks. Yeah. That wasn't cool. I remember when he was coming downstairs, everybody was like, masks. he's actually very upset about people without masks. Yeah, that wasn't cool. I remember when he was coming downstairs, everybody was like, masks! We all had to mask up. Really? Yeah.

Oh, that's probably why too, Steven, because you don't wear a mask. You are anti-mask. I know that was the joke. No. You are so anti-mask. Okay. I see Zaz got...

God damn it. Oh, dear. What's he got? He's got... He's got feud up. Oh, no, no, no. We don't have a nat 5. We don't have a nat 5.

A nat 5. We don't. All right, now we're talking about engineering product and data highlights. Oh, that's the worst. Maybe Brandon could go back to the company meeting for a couple minutes. Yeah. Then that would be an unnatural five. You're forcing it.

It is. He's forcing it. Maybe they're going to talk about the sling deal. KB, what's up with you? How was your weekend? Did you remember? Did you never forget? Stayed sober.

Day 15. Fuck yeah. 15? Voice cracking. Why is your voice good well you're doing well i'm reverse aging so are you so you're syncing up what is it september 13th today so that wasn't you started a little early yeah it's not like a month thing it's not like a theme it's a health thing but you got to make a theme that's how it becomes it'll become yeah that's how you get on instagram and it's a. He said he didn't want any chips. But... How good would a 15 day

chip feel right now? 15 day chip? I kinda want something. A nice big Tostitos scoop? It's gonna be my biggest challenge today because I have MGK tickets. Tonight? What is this, day 12 you said?

15. God damn it, why'd you do that? What? We're trying to be positive. I know, I know. Yeah, what? Why don't you take something from the shelf? Anything you want.

Yeah, do it. No, no, no, no, guys. Don't mess with the shelf. Katie will freak out. We can't mess with the shelf. No, she's good now. What about Kyle'sbriety? Not about this.

Yeah, what about Kyle Sobriety? What if he gets fucked up at MGK? I guess there's already a bunch of teen girls, and I love MGK shirts, waiting outside Central Park. Really? So I'm going to be surrounded by teen girls, sober. I'm going to feel very uncomfortable. When's the concert? Like 5. And you're going? Yes'm going to feel very uncomfortable. When's the concert? Like 5.

And you're going? Yes. I love that about you. Monday concert. Where are you going to watch? Are you going to climb a tree? I might. That would actually be sick.

That wouldn't make anything more creepy than me just being there sober. Don't worry, I'm sober. Twitching. In a tree. Pacing. The, uh... Whoa, we have. In a tree. Pacing. We have 300 people who work here? Yeah.

Average age, 30.75. Oh, gross. Average tenure, 2.3. Employees added in 2021, 81. Jeez. We need to pump the brakes. That's insane. Isn't that like a um malcolm gladwell thing that once you get over 100 it's no longer a small company like you don't know everyone

you have to get vaccinated actually that's true by the law yeah oh actually i think the next slide is going to be our vax percentage shout out to brandon walker who is fully vaxed also i should i mean i powered through on saturday yeah brandon Walker, maybe the dumbest decision of all time. He got his second vax on Friday. Then we had to go to Ann Arbor and he was dead. Great dad move to get into... I had to take her to SmackDown at MSG.

Oh, you took your daughter and surprised her with quarter seats. Ringside seats. Ringside. And then you sent an awesome video of... Yeah. It was a rough start i had something happen that i whatever but uh but you can say it because we should actually

well i don't know no i won't say it's a dick i think you can say it so your daughter is a big wrestling huge wrestling fan she loves it yeah i've always tried to get my son's exhilarated when she found out you got her ticket yes is she a bigger fan of wrestling or her dad being a big fucking deal uh she's a bigger fan of wrestling or her dad being a big fucking deal? She's a bigger fan of wrestling. Yeah. All right. Because that's kind of a twofer.

You kind of lied to her and said you were in those. I said we were. I made up fake tickets. We were in 218. Good dad. Are you going to be on Jimmy Kimmel? No. Oh, when the parents prank their kids?

No. We got in there. I did the whole thing like, oh, this isn't the tickets I thought. And this is in section A. And then we had to walk down. And we were perfect seats. My dad used to always say, like, you brought the tickets, right? Yeah.

And then I just get really upset. So I'm sitting there. Before the event starts, we got there, like, right as doors open so she could soak in all the atmosphere. And there were a couple of stoolies there. Hey, Brandon Walker. And I even got a Brandon Walker, one of them, from a couple guys. What was her reaction there? She loved it.

So that sounds like she might be a fan of you being a big fucking deal. So we're sitting there in the front row, and then I hear about 15 minutes before showtime. Can I stop you real quick? Yeah. There is a slide that says Barstool Perks, and it says bagels every Monday and Friday. It's fantastic.

Okay, keep going. Did they add in the worst egg sandwiches ever created? How dare you? Stop it. All right, keep going. I'm sitting in the front row with my daughter, my 12-year-old daughter, and this guy yells out, Brandon Walker, loud. Everybody in the arena can hear it.

And he goes, you fucking suck. Fuck you, you fucking redneck. And I just turned. I just turned and said, I got my kid here. I got my fucking kid. And I hire him. I got my kid here. I got my fucking kid and I started yelling, I got my kid and then he said,

and he goes, I don't care, fuck you and I'm like, that's dope. It's not dope though. Fuck that guy. Did you start yelling back

like, fuck you? No, security guards saw it and said, what do you want to do? You want to throw him out of here? Oh,

hell yes. And I said, no, just wait and we ended up didn't throw him out but the guy like, I had i had my we msg we didn't first of all barstool fans are great right yes but that guy just because he doesn't like what i do he yells fuck you in front of my kid like that sounds like a good barstool i had a moment where i was like one of

the better i don't know if I want to do this anymore. If that's what's going to happen in front of my kid. You know what it is? I think that 99.9% of the people that I encounter, I think you guys all would agree, are awesome. There's always like 0.1% that I think they want. They think it would be cool to make like a memorable moment of like coming up and being like, I fucking hate you. I think you gave that guy exactly what he wanted. like coming up to like do anything though or they're trying to emulate us because 90 of our interactions with you on this show is just telling you to

fuck off yeah yeah or like someone will come up and be like hey can you take a picture and then they're like of us and hand me the camera being like and then pose like and then they're like oh i'm a big fan's like, let's just have a normal interaction. Right. Because I actually like talking to people. I think that's what he was going for. And he did, it was memorable.

So he did accomplish that. Like, fuck you. Talking about him. In front of your kid. Did you scream back at him? I started to. Because that's a little, like.

Like I started to, but I now realized, oh, I have my kid here. That's self-fulfilling prophecy on the redneck part. Yeah. Oh, I wanted to go. You're just screaming at him with your daughter next to you.

You fucking piece of shit. I wanted to go after him. I'll fucking whip you. I wanted to go after him. Oh, yeah, but I just. I'll whoop your ass. I have my kid. Come meet me by the creek.

And I had some other DMs from other Barstool fans, and they were like, we saw that guy section over. We disavow this. Okay, good. So he's not a stoolie. So that guy, come to the office. Hand over your moon man Sherpa. Come to the office.

Say you have an interview. Well, now, wait. He was probably a big guy. Well, we have security now. Oh, yeah, we do. Come to the office. Say you have an interview. All right, let's prepare the security guy.

We're going to point you to death. We're going to poke you to death. We will poke you to death. But real talk. No, I agree with you. It was bullshit. It is. That is.

Especially with your kid. Yeah. If he's yelling that when we're walking down the street in Ann Arbor, it's annoying, but it's like, who cares? Yeah. When you're with your kid, that's bullshit. Yeah. Anyway.

So was your daughter impressed with that guy though she didn't he's kind of a bad no she was like what she said let's focus on this let's focus she was like you know she's more emotionally mature than you so we had we had a seat so they have a ramp you know we were ringside and we sat in the corner by where the ramp meets the ring so they had to walk by us and then turn. We got them every which way. So you got two angles of them. Yeah, and then she was able to shake hands with all of them. John Cena. She got to, oh.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. That's never a good sign. A child meeting John Cena is never good. But yeah, it was fantastic. Perfect night. It was the best night I've ever had as far as professional wrestling and my kids.

Really? Yeah, it was the best night I've ever had. You have some mature children. Yeah, I do. The best one is the Tommy Walker thing when you ripped the iPad out of his hands and he was like,

did that make anything better? Did that solve any problems? Dad, is it okay if I call you dad? What did that solve? Yeah, that is bullshit though. Disavow that guy. What did that solve? Yeah, that is bullshit, though. Disavow that guy. Try to just be a normal human being.

We're normal human beings. And what else happened on that? We should get him kicked out retroactively. We should get him banned from the garden. Hugh Fee. No, he's not allowed to be a stoolie anymore. I'm a little twisted myself. I've already... Oh, you think?

I found the guy. Oh. Yeah, you are twisted. Okay. I found the guy. I'm trying to think of how. What did you do? You blocked his ass?

I found the guy. I went through... I found the guy. Oh, my God. What did you go through? Twitter notifications? I just found the guy. It's all right.

God damn. It doesn't matter. They gave you... You're like borderline... I'm Rico. Borderline a... Did MSG give you a seat number? No, no.

I have handleable Rico tendencies. This is borderline sass. What's that show you watch? Tim Robinson? Is that his name? Yeah. I think you should leave. Brandon showing up to this guy's office.

Yeah. He's like, you're a fucking asshole. No, he's going to wait for one of his kids' birthdays. Brandon's just going to be on the other side of the Pizza Hut buffet.

And the kids are just going to be like, I don't care. Yeah. Did you watch that show? I did. I liked it. So fucking funny. Very uncomfortable,

but very good. Meeting? Meeting show? Wednesday, 9-20 Oh, no. Execute key sponsorships. Uh-oh. Yeah, we've been executing sponsorships.

Oh, that's not... That says college football show. Yeah, it does. Not Brandon Walker college football show. Well, why does it say Brandon Walker? It's not just a college football show. Alright, settle down. it say the Brandon Walker? It's not just a college football show. All right. Settle down. Settle down.

Settle down. How was the live show? It was great. Yeah? It was awesome. They've gotten to a point. I was reminiscing on the bus with someone beforehand. They've gotten to a point where it really feels very professional.

Yeah, it looks really professional. Very legit. Very legit. I was remembering that, like, I don't know if you saw the clip, but Dave and I at Florida State Notre Dame Like seven years ago In the tuxedos We used to just show up

Have a foldable table And like frat guys would just Pelt us with like full beer cans And that was like the show Yeah Yeah But now it's legit Were the

Was the camera people Was it all Barstool No I think we hired those people. I don't know if I can say this one out loud. Oh, jeez. Say it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all a family here.

That's a new thing. Bites? Oh, yeah. Interesting. Speaking of live shows, us boys are trying to get more into the live show. We got to do another one. We got to do another one. We're actually doing one without you and Brandon.

We are. Okay, where? We're combining the pod and we're doing a live show. You ever heard of The Beacon? You probably haven't. Sick, dude. What are you guys doing, for real? Well, I don't think anything's official yet, is it?

Wait, are you boxing us out of the yak? Pretty much, yeah. So Son of a Boy Dad and Anus are combining. Yeah, it's not even close to the yak. Their own writer boxing out the yak, and now you're boxing out. It's a double box. It's a double box. You guys want to come?

Special appearance? I would love to. Oh, I don't know. That's interesting. What is it? That's interesting. Son of the boy dad. Oh, no.

What are you guys doing? Are you seriously doing a live show about this? I don't know Yeah we are That would break my sobriety Where? For sure I could not get through that sober We're doing it at a rehabilitation center

I like the idea of KB's new brand Just being a dude who talks about his sobriety Yeah well that's how you have to do it Even though he's only 17 days sober And also wasn't an alcoholic. Yeah, you were just being sweaty. I know, I'm just being lame. But am I sweaty now?

Am I damp? Yes. Before I got sober, I would have gotten... But you've been funnier. I am glad we're congratulating him on 15 days. Owen? Oh, yeah. Owen, you're like two years are you really two years I don't count college

sobriety what that's that college sobriety should count like quadruple I was never sober at college sling programming nope it's actually the font is way too small to see. I'm not kidding.

There's just so much Sling programming. It's so fucking small you can't see Brandon. Oh, no. Anything about the Barstool Shopping Network? That comes out at Fridays at 10 p.m. Yeah. Or Saturdays. All right. Concurrent with sports advisors.m. Yeah. Or Saturdays. Or any holiday.

Uh-huh. All right. Vaccinations. Concurrent with sports advisors. Vaccine. We've got more. We have gotten to the vaccine portion. And it's. Is this where they announce vaccines are mandatory?

I would imagine we're close to 100%. Yeah. I don't know. I think it is mandatory now, right? I got my second one this weekend as well. If I got the vaccine. How'd you feel? What was the time difference of first and second?

Because typically it's a long week. I'll tell you right now. Owen did. Also, it got his booster shot for chicken pox. One of the things that got me, 19 years. Mad heads used to get chicken pox every day. Do kids still get it? No.

Some parents extinct. There were chicken pox parties.. Do kids still get it? No. Some parents extinct. There were chicken pox parties. Yeah, they would let their kids be with other parties. No, there's a vaccine. I had it. There's a vaccine for it now. Yeah, I had the vaccine. So I got the first vaccine on 4-29, and then I went back and grabbed the second shot on 9-10.

That was a two-week gap. What did they say when they saw your card? Well, I lied, and I said I hadn't gotten it yet because I thought I had to restart and get the first one again. So they were like, first shot or second? I was like, first. And then they took my driver's license information, and then she's like, you've had one before.

Did you say you forgot? And I was like, oh, well, they said I had to restart, and she was like, who? And I was like, I don't know they said it's a restart. And she was like, who? And I was like, I don't know. Them. In my head. Yeah.

And then I just got the second. Now I'm done. Until you have to get a booster. Weekly boosters. When are the boosters? I think after six months, eight months. I want a booster. I want a booster, too.

Fuck it. It'll be approved after eight months. I kind of just want to complain about another vaccine. Yeah. Steven, are you a booster at any of your alma maters? My single alma mater? No. Where'd you go again?

Where'd you go to high school? I went to Westfield High School. 4-4-40. That was at Hofstra, yeah. Yeah, I know. Do you win any superlatives? 4-4-40. Awards? Letters?

Don't believe so. Yeah, we hear that. Oh, that was coming from there. 4-4-40. Look at our security guard just walking around with his ball. I know, you can tell he's holding a ball already. He's bouncing a ball today. Next, he'll have his own pod. He'll have his own pod next week.

Barstool security. He'll be on the yak soon enough. He'll have his own pod next week. Barstool Security. He'll be on the Yak soon enough. He'll be on the Yak soon enough. And then what's his podcast name going to be? It's got to be a sexual innuendo if it's a Barstool pod. So it's got to be. Come here. Come here.

He's getting a little closer and he's smiling. He's as good as ours. Definitely not. The comment's got to be going crazy. I can as good as ours. Definitely not. The comment's got to be going crazy. I can already tell that security guard's electric. He is electric. He's electric. And he also...

Security guard needs full time now. He's got like... Big time... Dave, you're watching. Hire him. Big time grown man strength vibe. Yes. You know what I mean?

He could fold any of us in half. He's not like ripped, but he could break your hand with a hand shake. He's pretty ripped, too. He's pretty ripped. He made me realize I don't view you or Brandon as adults. You don't see what I see, right? This man looks ripped. Tell him to take his shirt off, please.

Yeah. Wait. He can't do it. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. KB. KB.

I was not expecting that. Hi, KB. I think he's calling him right now. Oh, shit. Jesus. All right, do that second ad. He's just trying to impress Ebony. Yeah, I think he is.

Got a cowlick, patchy beard, finally wanted to grow out that mullet, or maybe you just need a style that works every day. Whatever you need, go to Sports Clip Haircuts. This isn't your grandma's hair place. Sports Clip stylists are experts in men's hair. Cutting men's hair can be harder than women's hair, and Sports Clip stylists are specifically trained to cut men's hair. Cutting men's hair can be harder than women's hair. And sports clips stylists are specifically trained to cut men's hair. They know the tips and tricks for making sure guys get the best

cut to suit their facial shape, hair texture and lifestyle. Remember, you can go to grandma's for the holidays, but not where she cuts her hair. Sport clips, the pros in men's hair. Wait. What? That's what it said. I know. What does that mean, though?

That means they're professionals in men's hair? The one before that. I don't know. That didn't make sense because she doesn't cut her own hair. So why does it say you can go to grandma's for the holidays but not where she cuts her hair? It should say where she gets her hair cut. I don't know if my grandma's ever gotten a haircut. She has. She has real long hair.

Just falls out naturally. That's a cool thing about it. Self-trim. Fun fact about my grandma. Falls out halfway down. She's never gotten a haircut. What did he just say? Was he mad?

He is strong. He has the hand strength of an Azerbaijani man. I was shocked you did that. I couldn't even move him. That was incredible by you. I'm impressed by you. He whispered something in my ear. We're friendly.

He said something about being armed. He said he can't reveal something on the yak. We won't ask about his gun that he has. The CIA. He has a very tough job because he doesn't know all of us, and we don't have the photo IDs yet, so he stared at me so hard today when I was going up the stairs. Profile.

Do you think that's because you're a physically dominating person? That could be. That certainly could be. He's like, this guy is a threat. I can't take him in a fight. I haven't got my picture taken for the badge yet. Were we supposed to? Neither.

Enrique's going to be pissed at you. Who is? Enrique. I have not either. Oh, fuck. I also supposed to? Neither. Enrique's going to be pissed at you. Who is? Enrique. I have not either. Oh, fuck. I also realized I know him. You know who? The security guard. How? You know that guy? Yeah, he worked all the Borelli streams. Oh.

It makes me uncomfortable that he doesn't sit down. He's not allowed to. But that sucks. Sitting down is the most vulnerable position. I don't think that guy needs to sit down. We're all lying. I also really wish that we had someone actually, like, That's an assange.

Let's cross applesauce. I would say sitting down is not vulnerable at all, and no one ever gets, like, raped. Jesus. No one ever gets, like, be something. No one ever is chilling. Time out. No one is ever chilling in a seat and gets victimized.

Well. So I've heard the reason he doesn't sit down is so if he does, he can't see the fire escape. The fire escape? Or the fire exit. The door. And you don't want to know what's going on in there. Why don't we set up a mirror system? Or maybe have cameras.

This is literally a Seinfeld episode of buying the security guard a chair. Really? The thing that sucks for him is no one's going to do anything. We need someone to come and... No, we're due. We are probably. What if that big Russian guy came back?

That would be awesome. I think once winter hits, there's a little bit more tourism, I think, than fall. We'll get some people. People come in the winter. Look at them. See the rockets? Jesus. Thanks, bro.

Keeping us safe. What's he got out there? He's a sturdy man. He's very sturdy. Is he leaving? We're just done? He's got very long arms, too. That would be so funny if he left.

It's like Tony Delk. A bunch of people walked in. A bunch of Taliban. ISIS-K. When did ISIS-K become a thing? Yeah, what is that? Recent, very recent. It's like K-pop, I believe.

Yeah, it's the variant. It's the variant. It's more extreme, isn't it? They keep on getting more and more extreme. They actually think that women should be doctors. Yeah. That's how extreme they are. I watched like a long ass

9-11 documentary oh on 9-11 oh and uh it just is the one on netflix yeah it was good it was pretty good it it it's really i mean i get it kind of makes sense it's not really about 9-11 as much it is like the after effects yeah the whole like year war. Yeah. But it's good. What did you come away thinking? That's weird to me too because you were, I mean, you won? No, you were born. I was born in April, so I don't know how many months that is. So it's not even close to a memory. No, no, not at all.

That's great, bro. What year were you born? What time did you watch that? 2001. But no, what month? I'm sorry. Throughout the entire day? September.

Were you born in September 2001? In September 2001. No, I was born in April. The world decided there wasn't enough room for the three of you. I was born in April. Mohammed Atassas? Yeah. He texted me at like three in the morning.

He was like, I want to have voted to re-elect Bush. Whoa. Did you say that? You could have swung the election in 2000. I know. Could have used you. Could have used you in Florida. It just,

it was like, it basically, it was like they talked about 9-11 and then it was like a bunch of people saying that Bush is a war criminal. Oh, but he does drawings. It was crazy.

It was crazy. It was kind of funny. It was like kind of funny in a way because it was just like, everyone was like, we don't need to invade Iraq. We don't need to invade Iraq. And then Bush was like. It was kind of funny. It was kind of funny in a way because it was just like everyone was like, we don't need to invade Iraq. We don't need to invade Iraq. And then Bush was like, we're invading Iraq. It was all worth it for that awesome person.

Let's go get him. And then they were like, he was like, it seemed like he might have been a little insane. I'm pretty sure we invaded Iraq during March Madness. I remember being pissed about that because they cut out of a game to show it. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. Is that right timeline? I want to say I was watching Purdue play

and I was like, what the fuck? I'm trying to watch March Madness. I think it would line up, right? Because it took us about six months to get our bearings. If I got this right, then this is a sick memory by me. I think Antonio Gates was playing in the Elite Eight for Kent State. Yeah!

Huh. March 20th, 2003. That's definitely right. Yeah. Oh, so we actually waited a year? March 20th. Well, they invaded Afghanistan like a month after 9-11. Did any of you guys go down to Ground Zero? No.

Also, I was not aware that there was two memorials, one for each building. Yeah. At all. I've only seen the... I've only seen... Well, maybe I've seen both. Damn, look at this. Look at this memory by me.

I bought a bootleg shirt. Really? Yeah, and it's like, never forget September 11th, and it has a picture of the Statue of Liberty. Oh, jeez. It's a good shirt, though. Also, what was up with that other building that collapsed? I never even knew about that.

Building 7? World Trade Center 6 or 7? Yeah. Just from the controlled bombs? Yeah, probably. That's got to be it. Is that when we invaded? No, that's the March Madness. But yeah, it was a pretty good day.

Bam found it. Purdue versus LSU So that was Carmelo's year That was Carmelo's year March 20th St. Bonaventure covered minus 13 During the storming of the capital this year Wow, that's huge Yeah, I just remember very

That vivid memory of being like Dude, I don't, like, come on We're going into Iraq. Let's watch fucking March Madness. I was watching a wrestling show the night Bin Laden got killed. Oh, Cena came out and announced it. That's how I remember that. Yeah, Cena did.

I remember my dad came in. He was like, I just visited Osama. Really? Same. Yeah, he was there. He couldn't see me. He was like, we got two hours to live. I swear, same exact experience.

Should we go join the meeting? No. What are they talking about now? The meeting's supposed to end at 2. Is it? The top dogs don we go join the meeting? No. What are they talking about now? The meeting's supposed to end at 2. Is it? The top dogs don't go to the meetings. Westy's talking right now. When Westy stops talking, we'll stop the yak.

Okay. Oh, dear. That could be ours. Poor Westy, dude. He just gets it from me and Dave. Yeah, that's what he was. Was he saying that? Yeah.

He's on a text message thread with just me and Dave, and we just, he's our punching bag. Yeah. It's very, very bad. So Dave stood up at the beginning of the meeting. He says, I really have nothing to add except that yesterday the app sucked, and I don't want any of you to blame that guy sitting over there, but if you have anybody to talk about, it's that guy over there. Wesley should be paid a lot more for what he has to do. Someone

replied to one of my tweets yesterday and they were like, the app is down in Colorado. Please fix this now. And did you? No, but I told him I was like, I'll get on that. If it got fixed, then you could be credit for that. Come on, Sass. Imagine if you had alerted someone. It could have all been different. I assumed everyone

knew. Say something. Say something. There's nine states, so I think we should all be in charge of a state. He's in charge of Colorado. He can't deal with the altitude, though. He's going to think his lung collapsed. I can't deal with the altitude. Are you a hypochondriac? Yeah. But the appendix thing

was not in my head. But was it your appendix? No. I had all the symptoms. That appendix thing I i had all the symptoms that appendix thing i talked about all last week was not in my head you guys have no idea how much like i had to lay down in the green room because it hurts so bad right i was in so much pain you didn't go to like we were already in the green room and you just laid down you needed to be burped we didn't go there for you to lay down i was looking for somewhere to lay down. Even like that. Yeah, I found it.

I guess. Westy's still talking. Turn him on. Classic Westy. He's really just trying to do it. He's trying to make up for it. We went to a comedy show with Westy. Yeah.

And what happened at the end? It was Jim Florentine was there. He did a set. And after Westy was like, let's go say hi to Jeff. Jerry. Jerry. And me and Owen were like, oh, no. We thought Westy was like obliterated or something.

We thought we were going to have to like carry him out of there. And then it turned out he was just fucking with us. But he was like, for some reason, as soon as he said, let's go say hi to Jerry, my heart just dropped. I was like, this is about to be bad. What does that mean?

He thought it was Jerry Thornton. Yeah. The joke was that it was Jerry Thornton. Yeah. That's funny. Good guy, though. I bet you Jerry Thornton does good stand-up.

You know who does good stand-up was Michael Che and Colin Jost. Oh, comedians. Yeah. Yeah, but like that... He's a pretty good stand-up. No, but they were like surprisingly funny. Am I wrong?

Everyone was good. I thought they were really fucking funny. Schumer was good. Where'd you guys go? Yeah. How was Sykes? Master of Garden. Good.

Sykes was good. Fallon was good. Was it an open mic or something? Yeah. Fallon did like a it an open mic or something? Yeah Fallon did like a two minute set And he sang a song Ugh Ugh

Fallon did not like me When I interviewed him I heard Did not like me It was you and A-Rod Yeah We all booed him Why didn't he like you

As a person I think it was because I said like something like He seems detached from reality Well he's He's I think he's one of those guys that he will never say a bad word about anyone no matter what. Yeah. And I said something like, hey, so how big of a dick was Chevy Chase?

And he got upset about that. Okay. But he's a notorious dick. Yeah. Chevy Chase is well... I think even Chevy Chase... Funny. He's an asshole.

Very funny Did you call him a pussy Yeah then I said pussy Say something bad about him Pussy The show was five hours What No phones

Locked away What In Madison Square Garden How do you lock your phones away They give us these like pouches And they like They like Click and you can't open them

Unless you have like The special magnet You deserve some chips for that I was just gonna say that I was like geeking out no i was like watching him without the phone my phone's vibrating and i'm just going to worst case scenarios in my head like someone got in a car accident what about an apple watch no you have to take those yeah shut up yeah and someone got kicked out during dave Chappelle's set. Why?

Because they had a phone, and Dave Chappelle was like, get that man right there. He was like, he's got a phone. I kind of love that. That's how comedy, like, there shouldn't be phones. No. People just make clips and then put it out there. Yeah, and it was like, I honestly think it was more so that, like, he said it was more so that they could say whatever they wanted, not have to worry about like journalists like recording the whole thing right and then you ran home and

blogged about it yeah but i didn't give away any jokes or anything i know i went out of my way not to do that should have gone because apparently roan told me i'm not supposed to do that what every time i go to a comedy show i'm like oh yeah blah blah i had this really funny joke and then i say the entire joke and Rome was like, yeah, you shouldn't do that. Yeah, no, you definitely shouldn't. Yeah. It's hard not to, though.

Yeah, whatever. If you hear a funny joke, you want to tell people the funny joke. Everybody's loose. Let's grab the first person and give us the entire rundown. Okay. Let's get Erica in here.

Justin. Enrique. Enrique. Enrique. Enrique Iglesias. He's hitting on the male No not loud Sean We gotta pick someone

Peak the levels I don't know who that person is Where P at So many people work upstairs it's crazy What about Erica She stopped early I don't want to hear that accent Kyle No I don't want to hear that accent. Not Blackman, no. Kyle.

No. I don't think that girl can talk. No. She's meek. She's meek, but she can talk. Grinnell. Grinnell? Yeah.

MB. Grinnell. Come here. No, you. You. You. You. Sit.

Sit. You're in trouble. No, just tell us what happened in the meeting. Just a quick rundown. You. Sit. Sit. You're in trouble. No, just tell us what happened in the meeting. Just a quick rundown. Yeah. No numbers, please. No details. That's their bad son of a boy dad.

He is vague as possible while also telling us everything. Chicklets is killing it. Nice. Great year for Chicklets. Did they mention son of a boy dad? They did. They did. A specific shout out to son of a boy dad that it was killing it and was

bringing in a whole new audience white guy sounds like it's time for a raise oh there's frank let's go hug him all of us i rode the train all right that's it grinoa thank you

thank you you can send frank in here we'll we'll discuss with him real quick. This thing's not working right. What isn't? You're supposed to do two fingers. I know, but I'm finding it very easy to slip out. You have thin fingers.

No, I think I've just been using it too much. Yeah, that one's damn near broken. Francis? Hey. Hello? Hey. Hello? So we're in Yak overtime. Sit down, please. It's the after show.

This should be making jokes. Yeah, this is not a joking matter. Please. You know why you're here. So, Frank, this Thursday, maybe I reserve the right to change the date just because I might have to do something. But as of right now, this Thursday, the trial of the people versus Francis J. Fleming. That would be Francis E. Fleming. Middle name's E?

Eduardo? No, Earl. Earl. Also, I think you're sick and you're not telling us that you're sick. You keep saying it's allergies, but you sound sick. It's allergies. Okay. That's perfect.

All right. So you will be ready. We are going to present a PowerPoint of your transgressions. You will have a defense of yourself. You will be able to call anyone you want to the stand. And then we will have Owen. Do you remember Owen? Yes.

Be the sole judge. Huh. Huh. You shouldn't laugh at the judge. Owen, he's going to run mental laps around you. Who's the jury? I don't think there's a jury. Chat.

Chat is the jury. Chat will be very unbiased. Frank, what was the catalyst of your argument in the subway? What started that off? We should save this. That's part of his demeanor. Yeah, his overall attitude recently. Yeah, that is definitely going to be used.

That's evidence. I don't want to give away the state's case. Frank, you and I should talk equity in your... Fuck, what's that app? Cameo. Oh, Cameo. I make 75% from Cameo. Is there any evidence that should be submitted that both sides can cross-examine?

Yeah, we will absolutely have evidence. So, Discovery will end by Wednesday afternoon. So get all your evidence in before then. Well, I need my key witness, Roan. Yep, he'll be here. Now, I beat him. I beat KB in Family Feud. Yeah, that's a good...

That is good. So that's why your trial is happening. And then did I miss that other Thursday? Because basically... No, no, no, no. Don't do... No, we're doing it right now. You're about to do the trial.

I was here. And how much... We will see everyone Thursday for the trial. Oh, I drove in. We'll see everyone Thursday for the trial. You're about to give away your entire... What's our attire? Suits.

Suits? I need to get one. Business, casual. Casual. Cat? No, I think business. What about just a collared shirt? I'd like to see you in a suit, Frank.

Collared shirt and tie. Connecticut casual. I gave up the suit last November. Collared shirt and tie. Connecticut casual. I gave up the suit last November. That's a good point. Man got out of the courts. He got out of the courts. We're going to tie, maybe? Ties choke me.

Alright, okay. Alright, so then we'll see the act tomorrow, but we'll see the trial on Thursday. Alright. Good luck, Frank. Yeah, we'll see the act tomorrow, but we'll see the trial on Thursday. All right. Good luck, Frank. Thank you. It's the act. It's the act.