The Yak - Big Cat Reveals His Inter-Office Dating Guidelines for Nicky Smokes | The Yak 3-11-25

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Big Cat really tried very hard to put a stop to yesterdays thumbnailYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Roback.com promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing a sweatshirt right now. The h. Welcome in. Roback.com promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing a sweatshirt right now. The huddle hoodie, Roback.

Love it. Roback.com promo code Yak. 20% off. Hey everyone, Julio's here. Yo, yo, yo. Thanks for having me. How's everyone doing? How we feeling?

It's Tuesday. I guess I have one question. Yeah. Do you know what the question's gonna be? Yeah, I tried to shut it down. It was inappropriate. Well, you didn I have one question. Yeah You know what the questions gonna be yeah, I tried to shut it down it was inappropriate Well, you didn't shut it down You didn't try to shut it down cuz if big cat says shut it down it always gets shut down I should have sure lying to me. You're lying. You're lying about shutting it down. Hold on. Hold on I didn't know that it was made until after it was made and then I said to myself

Not to anyone else. We should have shut this down Well, why didn't you say it to somebody else saying to yourself doesn't do anything? I think you I addressed it I think you want it. I think you wanted out there We're talking about the graphic yesterday for the show the thumbnail shut it down shut this down Shut this down That's too much. Why does that work? I said that to myself. I literally, when TJ texted me, I was at my house. And I saw it, and I just go, oh, shut that down. But he texted you the graphic, and you could have just

immediately responded, shut that down. You could have said it. In my head, I did. But no, in the text, you could have, OK, that's enough. We've seen it. We got it. It's hot. Because you can kind of see the curve.

Can you see? Can you pull? Do you see the bottom right of my shoulder? Yep, yeah, that's where the curve starts. That's all you need Yeah, you see that the mind can fill in the blank. That's it Maybe we should take it off you too, but then we should still have it framed in the office. Yeah Mural good now that I remember what when I got that text I was yeah I was I was jerking off into my toilet. I was like we got to shut this down

That's a hard maneuver When I got that text, I was jerking off into my toilet and I was like, we gotta shut this down. Yeah. That's a hard maneuver. Into the toilet. Into the toilet, directly into the toilet. We gotta shut this down. Were you hanging from the ceiling? Yeah. No, I had my foot up on the sink.

Really give myself. We gotta shut this down. First thing I said to Brandon today. Credit to you. Shut it down. You said it today, 12 hours after we put the thumbnail out. You could have just said it yesterday. Did my timing have been better?

Yeah. Yeah, he could have been. Guilty as charged. A little bit faster, yeah. Guilty as charged, timing could have been better. That thumbnail's been up and been seen by hundreds of thousands of people. Yeah.

He was just in awe for the first 11 hours. Mm-hmm. I was just muttering to myself, shut it down. Shut it down, baby. Shut it down. Shut it down harder. How's everyone feeling? Good?

Tuesday energy? Yeah. Yeah, we kind of lost that spring lust. You think so? A little cooler today. It was too cold. Windy. The windchill was too crazy.

I tried to eat outside. I ate lunch outside yesterday and it was great. I tried today and it was too cold. We'll chill is too crazy. I tried to eat outside eight lunch outside yesterday It was great. I tried today and it was too cold. We'll get it back. I believe that by the weekend. It looks good Yeah, I was walking around yesterday outside that felt good. So good. Yeah yesterday was amazing It's kind of depressing though. This is the this is the best we have. What do you mean this transition into spring? Well, I early in the transit. You don't agree? I don't agree. How would you not? Because I love the transition to fall. Oh, going from when you say that to fall. I love the fall the transition to fall. Oh, you got a legion of academics would

agree with me. You got a weird thing about the fall. I love the football. I mean, football, fine football. But take that take that aside. Oh that first day when it goes from like 80 degrees and then you get that first like 60 and you're so winter is a two out of 10. Yeah. Maybe one like a 60 degree sunshine. That's a eight out of 10 going from two to ten is quite the leap cows right any anybody who would argue fall Transition is better than what I have this I have a perfect fall day as like a 20 out of ten maybe in Houston Going from the worst summer like the humidity the heat to fall well, I see much better transition. I love fall What can I say?

I'm a fall guy. Wait, but KB, are you saying there is no transition spring, like there is no spring, or that you like the transition the best? This is the best transition. Going from typical winter weather to what we got yesterday. Also if I may, can I share a little personal bias? It's also I like the transition of having to wear a t-shirt every day to then getting to wear a sweatshirt as a larger guy. That's so this transition is this transition

while I love it is also a little fear inducing because it's like, oh fuck. I got to start wearing a t-shirt again. I understand that. Yeah, because then you got to be this guy all summer. Yeah, right, right. And I just like, oh, I guess I missed the whole getting in shape for summer things Speak your piece for the 20th year in a row Friday 68 degrees. Oh, that's that's I'll be wearing a sweatshirt for Friday I'm not ready for a t-shirt yet. We're not there yet Yeah, don't jump the gun don't jump second fake spring or whatever just around the corner. Yeah, I think Chicago winters

I've lost their fastball officially. I disagree. This sucked, this one. It sucked. It's not enough. I think this will be the first ever Chicago win to say that Chicago winters aren't that bad. I think when people say Chicago winters are terrible,

it's not because of how cold it is, how much it snows, it's because of how long it lasts. Yeah. The disappointment that going into April, it's still 30 degrees. Like the disappointment that going into April. It's still like the March 30 degrees Yeah, right, but it also the lack of snow has made it a lot like it's just not as bad because lack of snow and also I It's like two weeks two weeks of just really I want to kill myself. Yeah, I'll give my thesis this year

Lois snowfall recorded in the past 88 years, year before warmest winter Chicago's ever had. And are you kind of bitter that the transplants aren't being hardened by what you had to experience? Not at all, as long as I can also experience this new wave of warm. All right. That's fine. I think that's a better question for Dante.

I'm happy. Dante. I'm happy just because. A native like Dante. I've said this before. I get nervous when the weather gets really bad in the winter Because I'm like waiting for everyone in this office to be like fuck this we're out. Mm-hmm Very like I get I like take I take the weather very like the weather and KB's mood are always

And they go hand in hand I wear out my Zillow app in January. Yeah It's like zooming in and why don't I just move to Maui? Yeah, why not this is the time to do what's what's keeping what's keeping me here? Yeah You're on but now the spring spring is uh yeah spring is nice. It's so nice Kyle chill that a little bit and tights have you had the thought that like not only that but like you're about to be a father Which I am underrated. Yeah, I'm gonna be a father so baby seems fun It seems like having the baby June makes a lot of sense. Yeah, probably it's bad for sports Um all my kids are May and June and I feel like they're behind in sports because like

May and June you got to hold them back Yeah, you can It can't be the youngest in their grade I know That that means all the world the yeah the the the September in October's they cut off September Her CEO you're at the end Butterfly effect of not holding them back will be the difference in a scholarship listen. I agree well no my kids are Anyway, I think the butterfly effect is their genes their genetics are gonna not get them a scholarship But yeah Titus the summer baby is fun except for that part where everyone's like

My son is like one of the shorter ones in his grade cuz everyone's sick now. It's like shit I fucked that up But what I was gonna say is has it dawn on you because you know you look at Zillow right once your kid you have you have about four years I know it's dawned on me you have about four years to move and then you don't really want to be the one who moves your kids around right right it's dawned on me yeah I mean I have I'm in a contract here my contracts coming up oh really we fucking get it dude you're in a contract you know handle that shit behind closed doors we're not to hear about that shit yeah your life's about

to change no that we have had those preliminary talks of yeah you also realize though when because I do love it here. We love it here I love we're gonna bar so I love them in Chicago all that sort of thing But you know my wife doesn't work at barstool She's not from Chicago and some part of hers like I wouldn't hate the idea of say in 20 years we well That's what we do it back to Los Angeles. Yeah I was like there we don't do it now now We might have to wait 20 years maybe one maybe 15 if you put them in boarding right We actually don't know the gender your baby. Yeah, your life's about to change. I had a moment last night

My streak is over sad great great run so much fun, but I was getting into bed and I just muttered under my breath I was like I have nothing to live for anymore like excuse me I was like fuck did I say that? It was just a very like natural reaction of losing the streaks like it's over what a ride It's fucking over. It was a ride crazy. It was just fun because everyone it felt like every night was like a playoff game Oh, I couldn't imagine that was the fun part and it turns out the kids did not that made me hate both. Yeah The worst basketball game ever what it started out fine

And it was yeah fine for for 25 minutes And then they and then UNCW did something I've never seen before they went on six minutes without scoring Not just not scoring not hitting the rim. They were just like they were throwing up airballs It is what is new streak starts today. Yeah, I'm on it. Yeah I'd like to talk about two items of clothing. Yes Kyle your sweater They said my pal is too predictable. I like it. I'm cycling brown white gray and green like the seasons Switched it up this one one you got everything pretty much.

What is it? Simply lacking a red. It's like fun camouflage. Yeah, I was going to say it's a Caribbean camouflage. Caribbean digital camo. Never again. If you have to go to war with someone who's drinking rum on a catamaran. They'll never.

That's what you're going to want to win. They'll never see you come. This was sucking its thumb in the back of my closet all winter I Bring it out before the summer Now I hate it to get the cobwebs off that like closet smell I didn't even do that It smells like spider what when the next time you can wear a sweater that sweater. I'll never wear this again, right? I'll throw it away cuz I don't want anyone else wearing it. Yeah, you could wear that like two months from now And someone else to be like man you wear that a lot. You can't wear this twice Yeah, you gift that to someone else in the office just so you can see you can see it every now. Just pass it around

Yeah, yeah, maybe visitation. Maybe I will What was the second item? Well, he's our guest so I didn't want to Slippers what are those fucking show no feet? Yours were slippers. What are these are like quarter-way slippers these are designed to be worn in the field to these are fucking Feel the butterflies those are rub-and-t. Are you a fucking farmer in the field? Why are you wearing those on your feet? Those are not field.

Those are hobbit shoes. Horse steps on you, you're done. Those are field shoes. These are sexy daddy vibe shoes, gentlemen. What? No. No. Yes, I'm telling you.

I dig them. They look comfortable. They look comfortable. These are like sexy daddy vibes? Creative director shoes. Marta, are you signing off on sexy daddy vibes. I would love to be a sexy knee, but no that's not the question What are you signing off on these? Yeah, I don't know about that Comfortable the shoes being what they are every answer you've given fucking bullshit

We had a field answer and the second push back on you can wear these in the field. Okay, hold on Wait for for what feel What do you think about this? All right now watch just watch Okay, we also casually just went from in the field to around the house. Yeah, it's a sexy daddy vibe What do you if we know how to stand? Yeah, you're standing. So what are you doing here? No, I didn't do anything your heels are sticking out. I didn't get it when I did that no my perspective's completely changed Dude, these are sick. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to break it to all you I mean I respect the fact that you have the confidence to wear the ridiculous shoes that everyone hates and be like they're sick

But other than that those are like the dude half my room has tie-dye on and no one is concerned Maybe half of the room is wearing tie-dye. No, they're not. Two people are wearing tie-dye. Look at your socks, sir. That's Stone Cold Steve Austin, you piece of shit. In tie-dye. That's not tie-dye. That's Stone Cold Steve Austin on that sock. Stone Cold Steve Austin in tie-dye heaven.

That's the sky behind him. The sky looks like. Look, you took a chance, but you have to understand, you've been on this show many many you might actually be our most frequent Guest outside the show like you did the numbers someone could do the numbers I have to understand with this show if you wear anything that is just even a little bit out of the ordinary We are going to make fun of it because we don't like self-improvement It's a it's a hard fast rule on this show. We haven't even mentioned the fact that you packed those. Yeah, you're damn, right?

Well, this is these are a great thing to pack man. You can do everything in them including the field You can do the field would body though what sport you playing? Single feel about mud I don't You playing in the field would fuck you would fuck a single field about mud. I don't know Even if you're talking about like a turfed field, right? You're still in trouble in those things battlefield field hockey field. No field is taking those shoes I was not talking about the literal field the field in a blowout The field in a blowout. No these slippers versus the field. Yeah, actually, you know what? I'll give you credit

I guess the field like if you lose those slippers in the field to be very hard To find them, but these are designed to be worn That's in the computer home part in what is in the field? What the outside of your house of your home? That's not to say fabric goes right to the ground No, there's a soul a little bit. I think Why that's a throw me off in the wild could work but in the field felt but aren't slippers traditionally for around the house. Yeah, but this is not a traditional slipper Yeah, it is hard rubber sole. How do you how do you put it on? How do you put it on? You just slip explain what you slip your foot in there slipping it slipping it on it's designed to slipper

the guys this is a What versatile shoe that shoe was sold by someone who never intended it for you to wear it today Never intended for you to wear it in the field It was intended to be worn from your kitchen to your bathroom and back and that's it I don't know dude. Hey, give me this give me the zoom. Give me the zoom link I want to I want to take a little field trip with with Julio here. Okay, I Want to see what I want to see what these in the field would look like okay? Yeah, what brand they is these are ASOS? I believe oh

Affordable boy use like those off quickly affordable style and fashion They do look cozy. I'll give you that Yeah, cuz they're not Well, dude, I'll take this all day over having my fucking ankles stone cold sunnered. There's so many ankles. Damn it. Make fun of it here and you chose, you chose the one that's. Oh, that was good. He fucking got you there. Stone Cold Steve Olsen sucks. He got

you there. I have the best ankles in the business right now. You barely have ankles you're getting stunned so much. Those aren't even your ankles no more. You come after the Stone Cold Steve Austin. Look around and you come after Stone Cold Steve Austin. Those are children's socks. Those are the Texas Rattlesnakes fucking ankles now. Those would go great with some slippers. These are the mule slippers did so they are design. Oh, oh that looks cool. See This motherfucker look at that all right follow me Yeah, you're gonna go to the field Where are you going? Where are you going? And there they go. Oh, if he's going out that back door, they're fucked.

A lot of busted glass back there. Oh no. And it's flipped. Slippers might get ruined. There's a kayak over there. I know that. A kayak? I always think, could I run from a crime or something in my shoes and you can't do that in those

Are you committing the crime? either way We have a beautiful back to what is that a pile of apples? Yeah, it's almost The wild horses it's from the mincy. It's terrible. We just threw them in the back All the Minty Klemmer remnants. For the wild horses. It's from the Minty Klemmer. It looks terrible. We just threw them in the back.

We just threw our bobbing apples in the back to rocks. We have trash cans. The rats don't even want the apples. Yeah, I can't believe the rats didn't get that. How does he look? Kind of cool. Arkes is kind of cool though. It's the triple trick.

Oh shit. All right, backfire, come on. Train tracks make anybody look cool. That's true Our time was the tarp back there what the what do we not that was under the slide I Wanted to know what garden back there something. Oh is that drying out? Yeah, cuz it's covered in lube Yeah, I think if you leave it out there multiple on and it goes through multiple rains it'll dry out quicker Thank you, Jay Gotta get bro some hey dudes that'll really be looking cool

You know I'm saying yeah, you're damn right about that Crazy I'm pretty sure that's like rat central. We just threw apples back there Yeah, that was I think that was debris from in seek to our theory Yeah, I appreciate it great. Thank you. I look good in the field I look good in the field look better than I thought it would look at their still slippers God damn it and I take I would have made fun of your socks if you didn't make fun I didn't make fun of your shoes. I simply said why the fuck are you wearing those stupid? They are. Oh my god. God damn it.

And the bombas. Oh my god. What size are you? He's figured. Ten and a half. Try it with somebody. Ten and a half. Too big. Who wants to try it on? Kate? I'm size twelve. You can about it. Oh man. I couldn't squeeze in a ten and a half. I wish. Now Kate's got shoes for the field right those are fields Hey, Scott Kate's got lobster fish She's got field and ocean meant for Yes, they are how was that doing that light oh? I didn't see her on that Danny. What are you working with over there?

Yeah These are 11 and a half Nikes Nike Air Max nice go to All right, it's good tightest you're really throwing one today. I got these as a gift at the Super Bowl Those are nice I wore them the day I got them at the Super Bowl and then I have not worn them since the pillowy tongue and I regretted It the moment I put them on but the decision was already made and I thought I'm just gonna leave the house I don't really get them. They could be cool. They could be not I have no idea. They're a lot. They are a lot. I

Like I have no idea. I don't understand it But says Wizard of Oz on there. I was tying this is Wizard of Oz for some reason the book of the movie. Oh There we go yeah the hundred thirty four dollars there's a bow yeah I'm gonna grind or those in wicked I just kidding did cha like wicked he didn't know is a musical yeah he was the funniest movie he's ever seen was very surprised why are you shocked yeah what's going on today's like his heard why Are you wearing both iterations of the bucks key NFL free agency you just pumped up? No, I'm going swimming later, so

Why you Showered last night so Doesn't make sense not getting there. Yeah, man. I wear bucks stuff all the time. I get that but usually wear red and Pewter with red and pewter and not orange with red It also feels like do like there's some signing coming that we don't know about right wanted to know I mean we sign The guys got him came back our left guard that Brayden's back God ask are you wearing your bathing suit right now? I'm not you're going swimming later. I remember you wore his cup. I did Your bathing suit right now. I'm not sure on swimming later. I remember you wore his cup. I did

Up and down so two points your father's cup all day Your his cup in anticipation Oh because of his his Wait, what was it? Whoa there was like a challenge that night. Yes, oh yeah Turning puns he had a cup on so we all day He put his cup on in the morning, drove with it, wore it all day, leading up to the night event. I mean, that's like when he wore his football pads into the New York office.

Yeah. On the subway. Yeah. All time picture. Bathing suits where we draw the line, I guess. Za. We gave you a little props yesterday. I don't know if you saw.

I missed it. You looked awesome. Oh, thank you, thank you. And that suit, it stopped me in my tracks on Instagram all weekend. Oh, stop it, really? Yeah, I seriously screenshotted it. Thank you, yeah, that was my boy from, we've known each other since we were like 10, man.

Oh, wow. Who's the guy behind you? That's my other boy that we've known each other since, us three went to high school together. Is he seven feet tall like he he is six foot six Wow Tall fellow like a snack a fun-sized snack. Yeah, no, it's good time. Did you think maybe not sitting in front of him I? Yeah You did look awesome though that suit was was sick. No, no, thank you I missed a big day though Friday huge day. Oh wow. You didn't come to my funeral

Yeah, I don't know what to think all right, that's all that's kind of fucked up also, I've been I Don't really want to give him any more Air time, but Nikki smokes doing his press conference being like big cat said I couldn't fuck in the office Is the most douchiest thing of all time because that's not what I said I said after he started dating Annika I said that's fine But if you guys break up or when you guys break up because I knew they'd break up You can't we don't want to have a situation right start dating everyone in the office so it wasn't like you can't fuck I wasn't like hey Nikki I

know you just you're so horny and people want you so bad no fucking in the office bro it was literally you're dating someone in the office totally fine understand it happens but after that we can't we can't keep you said it like we got to keep him in a straight right or else he's just gonna fuck everyone he made it seem like I was like actively cock locking him like dog, dude We don't lock him up. Yeah, should we put a chair? I'm gonna get put a chesty bill on me. Yeah, you know the big boss man said I couldn't fuck Yeah, oh yeah And it was so clear that the

Oh yeah, I was gonna cock block that. That does suck. And it was so clear that the thing that I told him was when they started dating, because he was like, you know, me and Annika are dating now. I was like, great, awesome, happy for you guys. When you guys break up, because it's not gonna last, you can't start dating someone else in the office,

because that's a bad scene. Yeah, it's marriage robust around here. Yeah, it is. So yeah, I just wanted to clear that up Do we fear it's kind of Nikki might have like a little bit of a mincy effect It's been described before as the blob where like all his Wrong doings kind of just make him stronger and more relevant. Well that it is a it is a Sophie's Choice

Perhaps Sophie's Choice catch-22 the only the only content that he has done that's worthwhile is fucking girls in the office Yeah, that's the problem Fucking up. Yeah, everything you say makes logical sense The problem is the the aftermath of all these incidents would suggest that it's actually a good thing Yeah, right. I guess now that I'm thinking that becomes confusing. It would be like if Dave was like, hey you Dan You can't talk in no microphone anymore. Mm-hmm. I'm kind of taking away his job You gotta say tell them to commit to it. Yeah commit to fuck just fuck everyone. Yeah, buddy also Too thin guys in he needs to share him to fuck everybody. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say you won't yeah

There's no you gotta fuck a guy I'd say you won't yeah, there's no you gotta fuck a guy It's the only way this is gonna work is view if you fuck everyone if you fuck one person you gotta fuck everyone You better have brought enough fuck for all of them I Don't even saying that out loud. He's gonna listen and be like alright alright. I got it boss said fuck everyone I'm the lock on it Kate. What are you up to tonight? That's you're gonna get that text Well if son of a boy dad's right if I want to keep my contract. I guess I'll have to We become useless if once he's done with us. Yeah, there's no

See sass was going after Hank today Was it what do you find the clip? It was very sass. I saw Hank tweet out just son of a boy dad I didn't know what it was in reference to. Well because here if you see the clip. Sass had a good one about Nicky's this Nicky smoke situation too. Yeah that's Sass. He's quite funny. Here, I'll do an ad while you find it. You mean it was on VivaTV? Yeah, 773. That was Hank's idea, right?

Club 773. I'll be honest, that name fucking sucks. I don't like that name at all. I like Hank a lot. I think he's a smart guy. I think he fucked up with that name. VivaTV is just... Imagine like chilling with your boys and being like y'all gonna pop on some Viva TV Why do they just call it stool scenes cuz we should hug is out here stool scenes, Chicago

Stool scenes is a great name. So Hank started tweeting I mean it is funny for sass to do that Hank just tweeted son of a boy dead and little sasquatch It's tough to Also, I'll give you one guess as to whose idea Viva TV was yeah, we know My job oh My job It also sass is really good at this he could say that about anything in the way the Tony says it Yeah, I'm just chillin my boys were just gonna whatever I was like. Yeah, let's just watch some football I'm like, yeah, wait is football lame

He's got that ability or you can just yeah anything I love when he speaks in absolutes. He had a funny line after that. He's like, yeah, let's watch Viva TV. Viva TV, yippee. Yeah. Yeah, he has a way of doing that. Just makes whatever you like seem like the famous thing ever. It's awesome, yeah.

Really hurts my feelings every time. That's why I love him. All right, so Roe, the act is sponsored by Roe. Ro by row row sparks are a two-in-one prescription treatment for stronger harder erections They hit the bloodstream faster because they dissolve under the tongue and getting hard faster means having more sex after they dissolve They work in 15 minutes on average rose sparks can give us thick guys thicker longer erections than you usually have Because they get fuller rose sparks gives you the boost to last longer, so it's erections than you usually have because they get fuller. Rose Sparks gives you the boost to last longer so it's more fun for you both. Rose stays active in your system up to 36 hours

so you can go back to back to back, round after round be ready the morning after, be ready for play with Rose Sparks. With Rose Sparks you can get the erection you've wanted. Rose connects guys with the medical provider 100% online so there's no awkward conversation with in-person providers. If approved approved treatment ships directly to their door if prescribed new sexual health patients get $15 off sparks on a recurring plan connect with the provider at row co

Slash yak to find out if prescription rose sparks are right for you. That's ro.co Slash yak for 15% off your first order. Maybe that's a content idea. Row reviews from Nicky Smokes. He's fucked for 36 hours. Big cat's gonna be so mad. What a job he's got, you know?

What a. He's getting close to, I think, isn't it? to his contract up again. Oh, yeah, that's right It's just he's doing a playoffs. You didn't want to hear right yeah Hmm I'll be interesting huh yeah, May 10th, okay May 10th Maybe we should maybe we should make them earn it fuck Yeah, great idea we should make them do some kind of challenge Don't we should we should watch him fuck I

Wouldn't mind yeah, I'm curious I've seen it all make them do an only fans. I would like to hear the pillow talk. I'll say that yeah, oh So awesome For him yeah, yeah, cuz they're running out of smokes happy the well is dry Yeah, throw some stakes to the line. Yeah, you're right. You're not wrong And he's not gonna be a vegetarian anytime soon people's contracts might end Right look like well you already fucked smoke It was laugh out loud funny yesterday when Sydney Wells happened to be in yeah as soon as you saw her stay away from

She's like why is everyone telling me not to talk to you? Did you talk to Sydney Wells at all Brandon? No there's a idea cooking that you'll be very excited about good I hope it's you're fucking Nicky in the woods No, I think we're gonna. I think we're gonna try to work out a way to do a full office Fishing competition good Wow Break it up into like four or five teams going on a boat on Lake Michigan. You gotta do that. That would be so fun. That

would be so fun. Lot of fun. You be a team captain. Lake Michigan. What what kind of fishing we doing out there? You can get salmon. Really? Yeah. Salmon. Yeah, you can get salmon in Lake Michigan. Huh. I didn't know that. Well, good fisherman can at least. Well, I I've never salmon fished so I. I didn't know that. Well, good fishermen can, at least. Well, I've never salmon fished, so I wouldn't even know how to do it. Who else in this office fishes like that?

Anybody? I mean, I've fished. I think Chaps will fish. I've fished a decent amount. I'm not a fisherman. Like, if we were doing captains, like you said, of the teams. Yeah. Who would?

Bontan Don fishes, right? Probably. But I feel like he fish. He does the metal fishing for guns and shit Yeah, we do have a magnet fisherman. Don't we be even PFT do yeah a ton of magnets. Yes in your house Yeah, the rest of us are catching real fish Pretty funny. I would imagine team yeah the rest of us are catching real fish are the magnets ever problem I mean he grew or just he goes magnet fishing from time to time he's on Google Maps like looking for bridges and

You that should be part of the competition you have to catch a fish and and a gun a piece of a knife or a piece of trash or a bicycle Bring your best gun and your best fish off any fish. I've got 37 guns, but no fish Did you see Dave's with the foodie boys today? Yes I don't know but they're in like a bus together. I think That's so funny Doing pizza reviews. They're making their rounds.

They were on Tim Dillon's show too. Oh, they were? Mm-hmm. What's their most recent debate been, TJ? They don't really debate. They just leave it. They had one the other day that was like, what's everyone's favorite condiment?

And they were like ketchup or no condiments. Oh, nice. Their opinions on everything are just like, I don't like anything yeah, they're they're blowing up Yeah, big time is this do we think they're self-aware now You think they're leaning into it when they do the condiments you would say ketchup would be the funniest They play it or no. It seems just too natural. I think they're not they're just really good There's conspiracies that their ringleader kind of sways their opinions. Oh Classic who's the ringleader that guy?

Ace of the program yeah I play give me a taste Justin Timberlake. What about the ketchup one that looks good. It's not Yeah, I don't what's your like favorite condiment. I Don't really I don't really have one. I just catch up Feel like I use it for most things I feel like barbecue salt or honey mustard they look like there we go They always like extremely overanalyze and break down Loving coming in with a terrible take as always. I would love if they just had a three page prep sheet every day.

Oh mozzarella? Oh they got cheeses? I don't know about cheeses. I'm a big fan of pizza crunchers. I think they're creative. They're creative. It's not like pizza but it's not. It's just a mozzarella stick. It's just a mozzarella stick with salsa. Yeah, yeah. Well, the mozzarella stick, yeah.

Definitely. It's like the same thing pretty much. Yeah. I like the mo- like, for a long time, they were my favorite thing from school, the mozzarella stick. I like the grilled cheese now, though. They don't have it a lot. The grilled cheese.

I don't know if our school even has. We don't. And I've never tried it, though. I'm a big fan. That was great, too too because he's like his evolution of his palate evolution was Crunchers to mozzarella sticks to grilled cheese those are all just the same thing Then I've never tried that yeah, I've never tried that oh shit like pizza, but it's not Remember when we watched the the podcast that broke down that the hawk to a podcast talking

Talking talk to a because there's no more talk to a podcast now breaks down the MD foodie Oh, and they'll put out like an hour and a half long breakdown of the MD foodie boys podcast They're all obviously virgins right I think they're like 12 They're all obviously virgins, right? Uh, I think they're like 12. They're like 11. Go on. You want them to do a pussy review? They're obviously virgins, but they could have been.

Yes. They've probably never come before. They're like a giant ass. Yes, I would say they're all... They're... The only reason they're doing this podcast is because they haven't probably hit puberty and been like girls, right? They have high. Yeah Mix in it's over. They gotta have Nikki smokes on yeah Like you know, yeah, like they're not gonna be talking about mozzarella sticks anymore. Yeah

Pure That was a wild question also what would we how would we be like nah dude actually mclovin I know for a fact is fuck how would we answer that like if they're 14 it's a reasonable question I 14 we're fucking I mean bro 14 like it's a different world these days You know I could just tell by the you fucked a 14. I did not okay. I was a late bloomer When they start fucking they'll turn into that frat pod. Yeah, the do pop whatever. That's the next evolution. Yeah Yeah, you know you never tried a mozzarella stick in a in a bong

That shit slapped. And there'll be one of them who hasn't hit puberty who'll be like, no I still don't like ketchup. You guys want to see a funny video I saw? Yes. As long as it's funny. If it's not we're going to make fun of you relentlessly. Not like that cat yesterday. I think it's. As long as it's funny. If it's not we're gonna make fun of you relentlessly. Not like that cat. I think it's funny I thought it was funny But it's maybe it's not that funny shit now now I've already got you Fucking a Brandon. Why would you do that to me? I'm busting chops today. I got I Got you Leo with the shoes now. I got you with the video

God damn it. Yeah, that's what I'm doing today busting chops and you and you Yes, don't call it out. You went all the way don't call doubt. Yeah smell You really brought him out mm-hmm the sock improves a lot once the shoes removed in my opinion it rounds it out nicely A funny video fuck. Yeah Yeah, depends on what the dance is like. Let's just react how we would Between writers and cops you should expect friendly fire from both sides from the back of the dome to the front of his No front of his soy titties and now walking away like a... Oh, that's funny. He got in the nuts. Involuntarily...

No....blocks the rock. He now enters... Is that a full-ass rock? That's a brick in the dick. Have you seen a brick in a dick? All right, forget it. I feel like... I didn't know the announcers. I didn't listen to his... I didn't like the announcer. Why was he dan... Would you say the dance was good? No, it was good.

Before he got hit the first time? He went brick to the head, brick to the dick. No, it was super funny. Shit got hit the first time? He went brick to the head, brick to the dick. No, it was super funny. Shit. He could do a little dance. I didn't realize this is what this guy's thing is. UIC? Steve In Man, oh, okay.

Do your thing. That's funny. That was funny. Yeah, his last name is funny. In Man. Yeah. We do have to, so tomorrow on the Yak, we have the mini-golf tournament coming up.

And we did qualifiers yesterday. And I think there's a tie between, there's a tie at one location. So there's four people, a tie and a tie. And we have to break the tie. What do we want to do to break the tie? Other than mini golf combat to the death. I was thinking we could do the chopping the food challenge again in hell Yeah, I like that was pretty good It depends on how big of a spectacle we want to I wouldn't mind a cooking challenge straight a standard come

You just want to eat. No, I just like the cooking channel there. They hit every time hiding the box. They're not real Hide in the box hide in the box game theory we get more than three boxes. I think so Seven to ten boxes different boxes different shapes. Yeah, I'm just saying Three it was game may never end though Fine. Oh, what if oh? What if you just eliminate a box every round mmm right well? Add a box every round or eliminate a box every round no you like so if you're seven boxes And you don't get it right then you take it away make it six boxes for so someone gets her okay, okay?

Sure sure sure I don't want to screw up a perfect game. We just need a bunch of boxes throwing ideas out there I just felt with three it was a little easier. You know cuz all game theory When is when is this happening? It's wrong. All right. I'll get some more boxes nice. How many boxes ah? eight Okay, I'll throw another idea out there. We also I Guess we did it, but the bubbles really we haven't really got the use out of the bubbles. We should have gotten now Now maybe a full run at each other Sounds like you want to get in the I don't I tried the other day. I don't fit. What do you mean? You'll fit Tommy?

Spent in three hours in the bubble And then I witnessed Brandon go up to him and say Tommy stop. This is for work this big bubble That's not exactly what I said I said my parent Danny That's what I said I said he was around other people that were sitting doing stuff and I said Tommy these people are working get that bubble out of here Now they were sitting there watching YouTube videos right and not doing much, but uh Presumably they were sitting there watching YouTube videos right and not doing much but uh Presumably they were working

Where was your mom when that was happening? She was in the golf simulator? Bubbles next to each other. I don't know. She's like a car girl. I don't love this Remind you anything looking at those bubbles I Could put my face between those Don't love it How was your stay Julia? Oh, yeah, how's the house? That was great, dude? I mean I was here till 3 a.m. Hang out. Oh, yeah, how was we can't sleep? It's great. It was great Great hang I had a great time glad to see him doing well up there

It was fun. Yeah, we had some people calling in good shit to say everybody was injured all these people were calling in a lot of Yeah, maybe dude. It just had an amp amputation. Oh That depends on what on his leg. Oh, it's a big one thrombosis. I guess oh my god. Oh, that's the wimby Yeah, so wimby's got what's thrombosis a vein blood clot Look, what was his mindset? So he's trying to like figure out how to be funny about it He's like are there any pickup lines like I can use to sort of like break the tension He had a great attitude They all like my heart did on my heart stop when I just saw you, or was it my blood clots that are going to kill me?

That led to amputation in my leg. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. Wait, his leg got amputated? Yeah. He just got his prosthetic leg and he's learned how to walk on it. He's got to just drink beers out of it. That's the move. Any dude with an amputated body part,

you got to drink beers out of it. LeVar Ball lost his leg. I didn't realize. What happened? Yeah. That's crazy. I don't know, an infection or something? Jesus.

He was a full leg? Yeah. Yeah, he's like to the, I think, like right below the knee. Does anyone know what happened? Infection. Sure, the doctors do. Yeah. They've got to.

LeVar Ball probably does, too. LeVar Ball shows off his amputated foot after serious medical issues. I don't want to see his amputated foot. I do. We're one to one right now. I do as well. Yeah. Anybody else in the don't category?

How do you see it? Oh, it's just... Wait, where's the... It's happy. Is that the... Oh, he's bringing the camera. That's the prosthetic, I think. Oh, yeah. Jeez. Okay. See? Drink beers out of that. Where's the happy is that the I think oh

See beers out of that you really got it knocked off didn't make sure I've heard that when it first happens. It feels like it's still there like your brain They say amputate for like nothing right they'd be like oh you sprain your wrist boom Broken bone amputee yeah, I feel like that was just medical science I just did and then what they just wiggled around on the ground it makes sense It's like I don't know how to fix the problems. Let me just get rid of it Yeah, I just cut we'll put leeches on you and if that doesn't work We're gonna have to amputate it if your hand hurts instead of fixing it. I'll just cut it off right now It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt right now. Yeah, it's fine

No anesthetics sawed it off They have to be just screaming the whole time is choked on a rag choking out the surgeon I would try to fight the surgeon. Oh, I would too Yeah, my dad had appendicitis and still looks his stomach has a huge scar down the middle like he was sawed in half I have it couldn't even tell I had it Yeah, is it hereditary? No bad luck. Yep. Jesus. Yeah, it's terrible. We did it first Almost is the worst pain I've ever been in by far. I was I was in had cancer for three years. Yeah, this is the year after Yeah in the finals you can't even go to the bathroom you have to be quiet high school finals

I was like this is I'd say in front of 24 other men. This is an emergency They all thought you had diarrhea. Yeah, does he have it taken out? Yeah, I had mine taken out as well You did did yours almost burst I I thought I had a muscle a severe muscle Torn muscle or muscle cramp or something I went to the hospital and they took it out How long from when the pain starts so you like can't take it anymore? Well, I hear different like that I couldn't imagine waiting in a waiting room since I had cancer had some some perks so I got to go in right away

But I puked from pain two times within the first hour. Yeah, it's just severe pain. Not even stomach pain? No, I didn't know what was going on. I didn't get that bad. I had a pain that was bad enough to go to the ER, but it was a pain where I wasn't throwing up. Yeah, I had like a sharp, really sharp pain

for like a minute the day before, then it completely went away, then the next day. I guess it just all came at once. Why do we, we don't even know why we have those, right? Yeah, well they're just useless? Like lawyer and then, what do we do? I would fucking take that out at birth just to risk, avoid the risk of ever having appendicitis.

But what if, what if during that baby's life we discover what the appendix is for and it's fucking amazing? Why don't we call it a tough beat? What does appendix do? We don't know. We don't know we don't know zombie organ That's a good for evolving into the use of right. We don't need it yet instead of evolving out of a sense Yeah, what if eventually maybe it like filters microplastic?

It literally has no I'm asking this I don't think so. We don't know no use. I'm not not you though Look at those do zombie organ. Yeah Find it for us, TJ. Because you're fine with that, right? Oh yeah, just it may play a role. Oh. May. I'm sure it helps with certain things lately. Certain health types of gut bacteria

that otherwise could be altered or changed. So it's crazy all the things we figured out and we haven't figured that out. The exact purpose of the appendix is unknown? How is that possible? It's just there? How the fuck did he get in there? Is that what it looks like? That little dangler? It does. It looks like-

That's an appendix? That worm? Where is it? At the bottom of your stomach? Wait, it's that whole big thing? I thought it was like a kidney. If it does burst, does it like explode or- No, that's- No, I mean, that's the intestine, right? It's the end of it does burst does it like explode or no that's so Right it's the end of it. Oh, it's just that little thing. Yeah, it's a little it's your dang

Oh a little dangly the tail fuck is all you in there We might as well just get those out anyway. Yeah get that shit out of here Yeah, what are pending pen decided? You mean that little thing could burst and fuck you whole world up if it does burst are you just absolutely fucked or no? and fuck your whole world up? If it does burst, are you just absolutely fucked or no? If you don't get... You could die. Yeah.

Maybe. It's like, I think it's a matter of like, if your body is able to clean out all the shit. The gunk. Mystery organ. I didn't know that. It's an evolutionary leftover. Like the wisdom teeth.

Like maybe we needed it when we were eating raw reindeer heads or whatever. But we don't need it now. Well, we're still eating raw reindeer heads. Maybe that's why we needed it when we're eating raw reindeer heads or whatever. But we don't need it now. Well, we're still eating raw reindeer heads. Maybe that's why we needed the appendix too. It may have filters and gut bacteria. Eating raw meat. Dan, you're usually pretty good at these questions.

What year is the first amputation? Of a... I guess what do we want to... Like a surgical? A surgical amputation yeah like done in a hospital legitimate 1813 You just gave they were doing wars before that right first successful Sir like an actual doctorical yeah, not not sure not the guillotine it was it was to save a life help

1912 After the Civil War? That wasn't, that was, they were just fucking around. Those boys were eating boys, just cutting shit off. I'm talking about like a lab coat. It wasn't official, yeah. Like, people doing it. You guys are both close. Roman times.

In the grandest of senses. Oh. Oh. Okay. Take the earth out to a long enough timeline like zero Your zero it was 31,000 years ago according to Google Now how do you know that I was just off how do they know that but that guy wasn't wearing a lab coat What if it just rotted off? There's no way the hill back up coats on it's on What's that Tom Hanks on the island movie? Castaway When he just was like, I guess I'll take this out

Or Joe Vogt is a volcano So I bet people have been doing shit like that for a long ass time There it is So the evidence we have is just the guy was drawn without a foot? Yeah They can cut a foot off, they can't put clothes on Good point There's a cave painting of a guy with one foot somewhere.

Maybe the painter just sucked. Yeah, ran out of paint. Didn't know how to do feet. I'm pretty sure Egypt, ancient Egyptians were doing like brain surgery shit. What? I saw something about that once on the internet, it's gotta be true. Uh huh. Wow.

They were like tapping up the nose, going up the nose for stuff. What? Saw a meme once a couple years ago. That's a really good fucking meme. What are they ever doing? Brandon, did you know about Dolly Parton's husband? Yeah. Was that true?

That he, what, he died or? No, I know he died, but I saw someone say that he was a paver and he only had seen Dolly Parton in concert one time Yeah, he was he was very off the one. Nobody ever saw him. Nobody ever He was the most quiet husband of all had those titties. Yeah, what a fuck Wow How they meet if he's only been and he had them he had her money to Yeah, those titties and and access to the money kept on working. Awesome. Yeah, he was a paper. He was just a dude. Yeah

What a badass Carl Dean Carl Dean Carl they were married like 60 years what else about him he was a handsome enigma 66 that's what why it's who'd prefer to stay out of the public eye this live many wonder about his life it's interest how he supported Dolly through her illustrious career. And his stories, what? Okay, no, no, that's too much. You have to wonder, was she throwing the pussy around at all or? I don't think so.

She wasn't. She might not have cared. Just the tits. You go do your thing, Dolly. I'll be here paving. You think you'd be able to handle those, Dan? Those titties? Those Dolly Parton titties those dolly part and titties

recent experience Large yeah I'm asking the wrong guy of course you could yeah, you've been down that road before I practice I if you'd asked me that on Thursday last yeah, I'd have been like probably not too much But but then it's like I kind of surprised myself. Oh shit I can dunk. I don't. Fuck to him.

I don't like, I don't. Pass. Pass. Pass. Out of this, I don't like this. Fucking reef. Oh we can get Tommy. Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh Shook on you

Go back she kind of presses them up against your chest Right there. Oh shimmy how jealous How jealous is Nick? I mean think about it. Nick might come back and fight me. Yeah. That'd be great if Nick just came back with like a sword and he's like well let's duel. We must duel. Who would you want to win Brandon?

Pass. He's passing still. I'll say this I'm anxious to hear this one. I'll say this I'm anxious to hear this. Oh, I'll say this before Stephen keep that question if I do Nick I'd be happy to die because I've been to the place. He wants to be Maybe just I had I would smile on my face. Maybe just one to each yeah Yeah, it's like what was the the fucking old like don't cut the baby in half yeah, Solomon Solomon. Yeah I'd rather the I'd rather them stay intact. What's Chase question?

What profession has the the sneaky best? groupies Pogo sticking time time can I get a quick timeout? Yeah, what in the last three to five minutes prompted that question Carl Dean? Yeah When you guys Carl Dean to this I don't know. I'm just gonna throw one out there like how He was a husband husband for 59 years has the what Brutal that he's gonna be known as just a group yeah he'd be turning how long he was a group before most people grow out of that you just eat a

group you guys asked you guys asked you thought dolly through the puss around in which case a groupie not I wasn't talking about two groupies I was talking about like two Hollywood celebrities and whatnot do you think female my mind went to groupies and so I was obviously professional athletes and like musical artists are probably the most You know that's the obvious answer, but is there a sneaky one? That was a spy Spy I mean I think it would be bar school employees right like Glenny balls Has to be it like what professional at least deserved our story prisoners

prisoners do And that's become publicized Is truckers one or no any Yeah, pay for those those are prostitutes. Yeah That's not what a groupie is you pay for it Do we think female musicians have groupies like that like just various guys that they keep around to fuck yeah That's kind of like one of those misogynistic things we share has been doing no way ever share always has like a young dude But I feel like they're more loyal like it's not a new guy every night the same way like a rock star

rapper Anita who did Sunday conversation she supposedly does that okay? Just gets new dudes. She just is like come fuck me in my trailer Catherine the great did that She just ran to you she had a bunch of dudes that she would just go through She she would pay him and give him land, but they still had to deliver the dick every now and then Fair trade it was Catherine the great Catherine the sounds right Yeah, the sickest her summer home is like the sickest thing of all time what her Catherine the great summer palace?

Yeah, you've been I actually I have Sorry, that's annoying, but no no that's cool I like it because you've been to all the places none of us losers have been to dude look at crazy This shit is holy shit, and it goes on forever in both directions. Oh my god Holy shit, and it goes on forever in both directions. Oh my god Like summertime don't you want to be is there a Swim late summer to swim. She part of the the wait. She's a Russian Yeah, was she part of the the group that got killed no whole thing. She's before I think got it That was badass when they killed all of them lined him up fucking shot him in the head killed the entire royal family

I hate to see it And you went in there. I did yeah, and there's aren't there aren't there like mysterious relatives that like still of like the Romanoff's or whatever yeah, right isn't that like a Like Anastasia yeah, or something like that. I don't know I think they think she actually oh my god I love that. Holy shit. Not the craziest. What's better than that nothing insane? Like a three-bedroom barn is it what's the most wowed you've ever been by architecture? That's up there. I'll tell you what if you guys end up over there buy tickets online. Where's there? We're not going over there. It's like 30 minutes outside of st. Petersburg. Okay now

St. Pete that would be so funny if you zoomed out and that was just right next to the trap. Catherine Great's Palace is actually next to Derek Jeter's house. Hulk Hogan drops by. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That's an insane house. Yeah, dude. No joke. Oh, she's by Lake. Summer. That's not called that a lake. Yeah. Yeah, but anything else compete like Architecturally, that's made me like feel Petra Jordan. I guess. Oh, yeah, you're cool like from Indiana Jones from the last one It's that the ancient yeah, it was cool Petra. You said yeah, are you getting into barn dominions? Oh I almost bought one on the way. I was gonna get one in Indiana, but I prefer to be in Illinois Yeah, I would love to have one, but I would never want one. What is it a barn to many of it's a barn that you live in

Yeah, but it's making a really nice house. It's finished as a house. They're so cool. From the outside looks just like a Not even a barn so much. They almost look like a warehouse from the outside. Yeah They they inside shit white people have come up correct. Yeah, it's big in Nashville. Yeah, they're cool I stayed in one as an Airbnb, and it was kind of depressing really I Open that one right there's a big room last time I checked it on barns We were turning them into wedding venues. We still are. Now of all the houses. Yeah. All right.

These are great houses. But a lot of these are just houses made to look like barns. A lot of barns I'm thinking look more like a barn than a house. And it's all like cement floors and concrete. Yeah. Yeah. What makes it a barn?

Is it just the shape of the roof? Just the general question yeah also I feel like heating those things expensive kind of a pain in the ass there's no one so you insulate them there's insulate yeah yes it's a house that is made to look like a barn that's made a little house inside a barn it's blowing up though I know somebody working in barn to many of them so they're crushing yeah they're big they're cheap to make I imagine no why are they blowing up because they're just different They're just Nashville just Nashville just the aesthetic good aesthetic where the culture that's where the culture comes from now

It's the white people at it again. Are there room partitions like can you be in one with a family? Yeah, it's not just like an open. Yeah, no the the generally the living room and the kitchen might be open But upstairs will just feel like a house I've seen like barn Dominion family compounds where there's like three barns and then a big center cement hang out picnic tables where everybody very got a compoundy thing That's barn to Minion. That's Barnum Minion. That's Barnum Minion. That's Barnum Minion, Brandon. Brandon, you want to do the Venmo ad read? I forgot I got to buy the 6x6 for Sante.

You gotta be. Oh yeah. Nobody likes talking about Venmo more than Brandon Walker likes talking about Venmo. How often am I talking about Venmo, Titus? All the time. All the time. I won't shut up about it. Sign up for the Venmo debit card in seconds and add your card instantly to Apple Pay or

Google Pay to use your balance right away with no monthly fee and no minimum balance requirement. You can pay in-store or online with your physical card or a digital wallet. It's up to you. Earn up to 5% cash back at top brands when you shop with the Venmo debit card. The Venmo debit card works with the easy to use app you already know and love paying your friends with. Seamlessly split transactions with a few taps and manage your card settings right in the app. Safety is built into the app with 24-7 fraud monitoring, purchase protection on eligible purchases,

and the ability to easily lock your card directly in the app if your card is lost or stolen. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank, in a pursuant to license by MasterCard International, Incorporated DOSH. Offer terms apply. Start spending your Venmo balance instantly with the Venmo debit card. Sign up today at Venmo.com slash card slash apply. Yay. Great job Brandon.

Good job Brandon. Way to go. Eight out of ten. Crushed it. Alright, what do we got it Steven's sheet today Okay. Oh, did you see the guy at the Sacramento Kings game? That was great. Oh, yeah here's Steven On the train. Yeah What were you gonna say? Julia? I just have a question for the fathers in the room

Yes, if I don't become the breadwinner in my family before I have kids will I become a stay-at-home dad? Oh You'll become a divorced dad. Why? I think you will yeah. I think times have changed I think if it makes more sense if she's making more money and you're cool with it then. Yeah you'll be a stay-at-home dad. I'm not cool with it. She won't be satisfied at all but why would you be cool with it? A lot of ladies aren't either. Why would I or't I why would why wouldn't you because it's like I you know I just didn't succeed enough to not have to be the stay-at-home dad and now I have like it's like a barter where I'm like oh this seems pretty serious you're doing okay I'm doing fine but like yeah I'm worried that I'm gonna end up being the stay-at-home dad. What um neighborhood that you live in? Greenpoint?

That sounds nice. Oh, you'll be lusted after if that's the case. You'll be a hot chicken item. I would love to be the stay-at-home dad. Stay-at-home dad. Would that mean you have to give up doing stand-up or anything? I mean probably not but like I don't know. So you you still do stand-up? I still stand up I mean if I want to do like video stuff, if it's not like generating revenue, now we need to have a practical conversation. You're a stay-at-home dad. Oh, you are. You have to sacrifice a passion.

Yeah. A nanny's out of the question? No, I think the nanny might be in play, but... No, you're a stay-at-home dad. You know what you should do? Really, really get your wife. You should get a vasectomy without telling her. Yeah.

Do people do that? I don't know, but that'd be very funny if you're like, all right, we're ready to have Really get your wife you should get a vasectomy without telling her yeah All right, we're ready to have kids like sorry dr. Conn I wasn't gonna be a stay-at-home dad Yeah, no you you I It's not bad. I would assume. I don know. It's really hard. It is very hard It's cliche to be like it's the hardest job. No, it is Oh, I think it really is and there's no time off really Yes I think best-case scenario that you would be the one by default who is now in charge of like something comes up Where would we do the kids that day as opposed to her?

Yeah, yeah, I just I envision myself that day as opposed to her. Yeah, yeah, I just, I envision myself wearing an apron and being like, oh, you know, whatever, Mario needs to be at- Mario, all right, hell yes, thrown on rocks. Mario needs to be at Judo, how are we gonna get Mario to Judo? Why is Mario in Judo?

And she's like, just deal with it. Yeah. Bowser has a piano right now. And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm like- And then I'm piano room and then I'm like They're all the exact same time. What do you do?

Can't leave Luigi home alone Yeah, there is I mean listen when you have kids like pretty much all your time is spent planning like the logistics Yeah, who's getting busy looking you working like a trucking company? Yeah, who's getting you working like a trucking company? Right just the logistics of life once you get it down though it fucking rules Yeah, it does you go to all the places you just take them all the places you fucking like yeah Yeah, yeah, all right making my little travel assistant. Yeah. Yeah, please watch my special everyone on the Please so that's like a very European thing I think Europeans do that a lot, where they don't take their kids to trampoline parks

and climb, they take their kids just with them where they go. Right. But they have this European whatever way that I don't know that I'd be able to have. If I saw my kid walking toward the road, I would panic every time. Is your fear of being the stay at home dad rooted in the tasks you will have to do or

the lack of self-respect you will feel? Yeah, your image. The feeling of failure. The inability to have control over my life. Feeling like I could have worked harder or been more disciplined or something. Is it a fulfillment thing? What's the game going on? I don't know, What do you mean?

Like in life? You want to feel more fulfilled by doing more career-wise? Is that why you don't want to do it? I don't think it would be a failure. I don't think it'd be a failure. Yeah, that's fatherhood. That's the most fulfilling, right? Yeah, for sure, for sure. But like in a traditional sense, in my mind, maybe I'm like, I don't know, maybe this is like an archaic way of thinking sure but like in a traditional sense in my mind. Maybe I'm like, I don't know Maybe this is like an archaic way of thinking but like yeah I don't want to be like in the gender role reversal situation I already have kind of a matronly but you're fine with her being the stay-at-home mom I think a lot of moms get stuck in that where the man yeah, so they don't necessarily want to be but they are Mm-hmm. I want us both to be so busy that we need to have like full-time infrastructure that we can afford got it

If if you are the stay-at- home dad should probably be cool with it for Yeah, like ten years like you'll just randomly come home one day decide. She's had enough Randomly one day out of nowhere You'll have to sit when you pee and that kind of She's gonna think that's are you gonna are you gonna breastfeed the kids to It would be is I mean Kate's right cuz Kate obviously he's done it It's very hard, but it also probably is very fulfilling because you get to spend a lot of time as your kids. Yeah Oh my god, it's really hard, but it's it's awesome, too

You get to see what they're... see them changing all the time. The little things, though, like... After the weekend's over, I'm like, bye. But imagine, like, your wife coming home from work after you were with the kids all day, and she just, like, lays on the couch immediately. Then you get mad and put up a fuss about it. Yeah. I'm like, do you think this house cleans itself?

Like, I just envision that. That'd be the worst part, not the stroller walks. That is the one thing that you'll learn and you, Titus, when you have kids, the weekends are harder than the week. Way harder. Because they're just there? Well, no, because there's no structure.

There's no school. There's no school, there's no structure, there's no rhythm to the day, so it's just like, the weekends are, you have to fill the whole day with stuff to do. You gotta plan ahead. They can't just like sit around? I mean, to you have to fill the whole day with stuff Yeah, they can't just like sit around. I mean they can but it's not fun for that. I'm trying to cause chaos Yeah, and you don't want your kid just sitting all day. So you got to you know, we go out do shit But you have to like plan it like what are we gonna do today? We're gonna and

You do like two hours of the trampoline park, You're like all right. It's nine in the morning Where it's like you're like it's only Do a thing and then it's nine yeah, oh yeah happens every Saturday We're one thing you had planned all day is over at 9 a.m.. Shit. We're at the playground by like 830 a.m.. Yeah, and Yeah, you got and then you still have the whole day. You're like yeah, you got to yeah Yeah, so when I lived in Brooklyn, I would go out with my kids like all morning I come back and it'd be like 10 15 What do you habituate to like a newfound energy level like oh now over time I can I'm more energetic because I'm used to this schedule no

I'm sorry so he's tired forever tired I thought about I don't think I'll be on what a hellscape I won't be untired till I'm like 60 yeah that'll probably be the first time I'm not tired. I don't think you'll ever know. At 60, you're not going to be untired. You think I'll be more tired? Dan, I thought about this other day. I am just never in my life not tired. Right. Ever, ever, ever. And I could sleep 28 hours at night. Yeah. And I'll still be tired the next day. I don't

think it's going to get better at 60. Do you know what? The one thing that you do get the superpower of, which I remember like as a kid, my dad had this, like you can nap like for 10 minutes at any time and it will like revive. That's something you can do that I can't do. Oh, I can do it. I can rip a 10 minute nap and just like, I'm ready. If I lay down for a nap, it's two hours.

Oh yeah, no. I can't rip a 10 minute. That just pisses me off. I ripped a five minute nap yesterday. That's like you're in the office eating a little food just makes you more hungry No, if you keep it under 20 minutes, you're good. How how do you lay down for five to ten minutes? It's getting worked. I just set my alarm and I just you say you're long for ten minutes. Yeah It's all my phone out the fucking window if it went off in ten minutes. It's under 20 minutes. You can do it You're you're you're you do that. No can't you're out of your mind

He's getting fussy. He needs a nap now. Yeah Do ten minutes right now, hey no way Ten if I go out for ten, I'm out for two hours minimum I yeah, I have the ability to just close I can close my eyes for like a long blink and be like, all right Let's go Our that's just I wake up from a nap I am ready to Confront and cut people off yeah Well, that's because you're probably not you're probably not being for the wrong amount of time. It's too long. Yeah, it's either too long

Yeah, or that sweet, so if you nap for like 45 minutes the worst nap No, you're not napping. I've heard that You don't know what a nap is. That's that's the truth. You don't know what a nap is the 10 minutes ain't a nap It's like science You get in I'm with you Dan get like a deep sleep after 20 minutes if you're gonna nap for more than 20 minutes You might as well nap for two hours if you're anything in between you're fucked if you're not gonna do a deep sleep What's the point? You're not tired. That's not a nap. You're going for a full night's rest Yeah, you're yeah, I was was asleep if I was through the branded thing

I'd go up to my bed, right But if I'm on the couch I do it on the couch 20 minutes if I take a nap I want to wake up from my nap wondering what day it is. Oh, that's the worst Feeling that is the worst fee like waking up at like 4 o'clock on in the afternoon and being like what is it? You have awful, but you haven't rested with your little nap Oh, yes, I have yes. I have you're not supposed to hit the REM cycle during a catnap correct You can't apps work. Yes. That's what I'm talking like you're not asleep No, I like clothes wise for 15 minutes wake up and feel

infinitely more refreshed But mine works the opposite I if I do it for like 15 minutes I'll wake up and feel like I just slept for four hours, and I'll feel so because I'll feel so refreshed I'll go my god that I just sleep through yeah, and then I feel good. I'm like oh no. It's only ten minutes It's perfect. I feel great What is like the scientific sweet spot for the perfect nap is it like 45 minutes because obviously two hours is too long I think it's 15. I think it's 2015 to 20 I set my 15 all the time

Bernie you got to try it 20 to 30. I guess a 20 30. I can promise you Refresh so many things sleeping too much in general the best nap length for adults about 20 minutes and no longer than 30 Yeah, so 30 you can't go well last 30 Do you guys have a what's the truth later like a room and ever look at your sleep data? What's the two three four nap room? I never look at your sleep data. No baby very odd It's for a baby. So like per mine. It says six hours 32 minutes last night, but 43 minutes of them. I'm awake But it's like little little cycles very very odd. I love just one slide my day I wake up in the middle of the night every night Yeah, all right. I'm gonna check it out for a second

Is Spain still dizzy see us does a real thing do they really like stopped her in the middle of the day and take naps? Yeah, really like especially in the countryside and even in the city like in Italy forget about it. Nobody's ever fucking working really Is that why they dinner so late because they know they're like, oh we napped we it's in Spain I'm not sure maybe I think they're their days are just completely different. They start at like What way later? Yeah. Mm-hmm. How long is the siesta? How much time do they get? You know everything about it Does everything better in Italy taking like all of August and yeah I off

Italians are very dramatic though. don't know it like doesn't always work for me to be honest. I was thinking about that we should plan our yeah we should do a yak vacation week like cuz we do we fuck it up where everyone goes on we should plan one where we're just like hey this week we're gonna take off. That would be smart. Let's do that this summer. Let's do it. Yeah., but times just dicking it up cuz he's having that baby. How much paternity leave you're gonna take? Seven years. I yeah, I'm gonna take at least a couple years Now is the best oldie explaining that about Canada how you get a whole year and he's like some people just go They just never work

Yeah, you're gonna. I don't know I I I want I think a lot, but I also don't like I think you're gonna Take a week. Yeah Obviously you'll work less. Um Maternity leave was like the least relaxing time of my life. Yeah people act like it's a vacation and I was like Your nipples really hurt Potentially dumb question, but does ron get any more for having twins oh When should be more it should be more. I don't know if it should be double, but it should be more right He absolutely should get more

Nobody else can really have twins Good point Having twins is a flex Good point having twins is the flex Double paternity maternity leave for twins. He's uh he's coming up right within the next month Yeah windows almost open huh be a double father Wow That is twins. I don't know how cool zero to two. It's crazy Yeah, does he know if he's having identical or fraternal to they say turn oh, I think he said

which means Not on will be successful Wonder when you identify you is it immediate Ashton Kutcher is a twin and his twin brothers like Disabled yes That is how he is. I think Orphan Brothers disabled. Oh no! Kate! Oh no! Shut up! In your defense, if that sounded bad, what was he like?

Oh, he's disabled. He's not disabled! He's handsome too! No, Kate, look at those glasses! Terrible palsy. What was he like? Kate, can we replay what Kate said? Good you change your handle to Katie money grabs times like this Nice if I had known I had known that I obviously would not what a downward spy like I hated maternity Is a twin and his twin brothers like

Like I hated maternity Is a twin and his twin brothers like Yes glasses is what I know Major health heart failure. Oh my god That heart surgery nothing but he's almost more successful than Ashton, given all he's overcome. Right. Wow. All I knew was that...

And all he gets for his troubles is a mer. I just saw a picture of him shorter and had glasses. I saw pictures of him swim mer. Was the thing with your wrist intentional? No way. No way. Oh. Wow. You're right, Oh. Oh. Wow. You're right Danny, it's almost even worse

without the noise when you see the wrists. Yeah, the wrists. Let's see it again, let's see the wrists again. Maybe it would be better if we turned the sound on, right? Yeah, mute it. Oh. Oh, see. That wasn't that bad.

Okay, not that bad. I was just asking. He's not a movie star is what I meant. Right. It would be difficult given the circumstances for him yeah? But good example okay, that is a good example When Mike our security guard here said that you don't get extra for twins he has twins

Who's the sneakiest famous person with the twin that he was also a cop. Well yeah, I mean that would be... Let's honor system. Okay. Everybody name a celebrity they think might be a twin. And you can't be someone you know to be a twin. That's cheating. Mary Kate. Oh shit. I'm just going to say, I'm just going say I'm just gonna lie I'm Tom Cruise has a twin does he Tom Cruise? Yeah. Well, this is a guess right? This is a point of the game Yeah, right Tom could be awesome if Al Pacino had a twin Al Pacino. Okay I'm gonna go maybe Danny DeVito. That would be whoa. Well, Arnold Schwarzenegger was oh true true true true true That would be cool. Well Arnold Schwarzenegger was oh true true true true true Addison ray oh You dog what are we doing?

We're just naming your name in a celebrity you believe that when we look it up there actually have it they have a secret Yeah, I'm gonna go with Danny DeVito Shy LeBuff. Oh, that's a good fuck Oh, that's a good fuck Really good one, but he's so unique Ryan Philippi Having a boy yeah, I could see that Thinking of a stand Oh Freddie Prince. That's my guess. I'm gonna go outside the box I don't do this often in this game, but I feel bold. I'm gonna say Denzel Washington Oh, there's a sneaky as a smarty twin. Yeah

Can we look up most famous Freddy Prince has twin puppies? Oh So close God damn it was I close Junior have had a twin. I think you get juniors. Okay. Oh I think you get juniors okay. Oh Who's that don't know don't those are just twins just boys Identical which is which I don't know that's crazy which one's John I think they're both John I would have guessed the other that's crazy who's this guy that's the I don't know and buffing okay oh that would have been

a good answer oh who's that yeah that, who is that? That's Rami. Oh, yeah. Rami and Sami. Oh, I would have never seen that one either. One of those gals married a 50-year-old French dude. Tia and Tamara or Mary Kate and Ashley? Tamara. Mary Kate and Ashley.

Oh, whoa. Wait. Whoa. What? Scar Joe? Hunter. Oh, my god. Who, Joe?

What a cunt. That's a better example of what I'm talking about. Oh, my god. who Joe what a code that's a better. They don't look anything. Oh my god Wait Giselle as a twin That is a tough beat Well, that's not what I don't know those guys surprises. Oh, oh, who's that Giovanni Giovanni? Giovanni Bernard That's a good show man. Cameron Diaz married to one of those guys

Okay, Roger Federer has two pairs of separate pairs of identical twins whoa wow yeah, he's collecting them Those aren't twins. Oh They are the bushes those twins. Oh They are the bushes. Oh, yeah party girls I need his story We need more on Wade He has been completely living off her Oh he's got Wikipedia

Wade Morissette It's like Wade It's like Wade On your third day He makes Canadian advice It's like wait On my third day He makes canadian advice when you've already went religious music Wade morriset, he makes canadian curtain music, which is a sanskrit word for narration Canadian religious music

What a market He's like yanni or something. I Think will chamberlain has a twin named Wilb No Will Chamberlain. Oh Whoa is that? Wait you can't get better than we way to Morris. Oh Wade way to Morris Oh

Fake Brendan Fraser what happened to him he's back. He's been doing good. Yeah in a big way Good twin to Wade Morris. There's a twin here isn't there somebody here have a twin yes Lucas Ryan Ryan does Ryan not Lucas. Thank God Ryan is a twin guy though. Yeah Well, they do look alike that's oh there is again There's only one picture of them to the only time he was well enough to I Might have to John Dan and John hater that that one's

It's crazy there has to be cases where parents mixed the big way with that. Vin Diesel? Who's that? Oh, that's a funny one. Yeah, obviously his name wasn't Paul Diesel. Why don't they have the same name? Vin Vincent? That's my first thought. You're telling me Diesel wasn't his real last name? Damn. Mark Sinclair.

He made a good choice. I think that's a cool name. Yeah, Mark Sinclair sounds hot. Yeah, but Mark Sinclair is not. Vin. Dude, I chit-chatted with Vin at the beginning of last year. What's he like?

He was wearing all leather. It was pretty cool, I'll tell you. The face? He was in the green room of one of the shows I was doing. Sure, it wasn't his twin? He said hello, just, you know, he wasn't trying to spend a lot of time chat with me. There was bigger fish to fry in the room, but it was still nice.

There's a Tulip-O and a Tupelo, Mississippi? Gotta be a typo. There has to be a typo. Gotta assume typo. Typo. Tulip-O. Okay. Just Tupelo.

That's where Brandon lived before here, right? Mississippi? Tupelo. Did he? I don't think, did he live in Tupelo? By the Best Buy. Okay That's where Brandon lived before here in Mississippi to below to be The best by oh yeah, maybe you did Interesting you're right Stephen he did Napoleon Dynamite is a twin and also Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite is a Childhood holy shit You know there's a tulip Oh, Mississippi No, there's a tulip oh, too

I thought you were from there you should know that to the post so right there to the poem is well That's just spelled spelled wrong. It's two pillow It's a county seat elite can there would be a red squiggly line under there. Did you live there? I lived in South Tillo, which is a suburb of two below. Yeah So Tillo was a nice little town, but I did my business in two below my office that I first did That that gambling show was in two below. What's the most power or two below two below? Hmm What's the most powerful suburb like it or Tupelo? Tupelo. What's the most powerful suburb? Like it has its own stand-alone cultural identity. In the world or in the country? Mm.

Oh man. Oh man. Greenwich, Connecticut? Oh man. Wait, ask this again, Kyle. Like the most culturally prominent suburb, like it has its own identity I feel like it'd be one of those rich LA's

Beverly Hills is part of LA For bad reasons, Naperville is up there Is it in Naperville? Calabasas has got to be up there Fort Worth is a good one What about their own city center? Delco is a county Alpine, New Jersey.

Is that all like the Yankees and shit in there? Carmel, Indiana, roundabouts. Oh, yeah. But didn't the roundabout? Didn't Dallas and Fort Worth start off in like the cowboy times as separate cities and they ended up just kind of growing together? They're pretty much two separate cities.

It's like Sea-Tac. It's like Sea-Tac. I think it's like Sea-Tac. Nobody knows what that is, but I like it. It's like Seattle, Tacoma. Seattle think it's like Sea-Tac. Nobody knows what that is, but I like it. It's like Seattle, Tacoma. Nobody knew that. We were supposed to know Sea-Tac. That's the airport.

They say Sea-Tac all the time. People shit on Tacoma. I really enjoyed it. Nobody shits on Tacoma. Who shits on Tacoma? Who doesn't? Everybody shits on Tacoma. People are picking Seattle over Tacoma. Well, Seattle would win the battle with most cities, I think. What about... I don't know. What is the suburb of LA? people are picking Seattle over Tacoma and I said, hey, let's go. Well, Seattle will win the battle with most cities, I think.

So that was pretty great. What about, I don't know, what is the suburb of LA? LA is just. It's Calabasas. Oh, also like the Silicon Valley. Kinda is. Like San Francisco area. It's kind of its own.

Jamaica, Queens for us, ethnics. No? Yeah, any of the neighborhoods. St. John's University. Well, we're all ethnics, if you think about it, just different, right? We all have ethnicities you said it not me I'm out pass those slippers are stupid back to the slippers did I'm telling you if you want to give them a try I'd be open open to it. Yeah, I don't. Okay.

Get you a pair, maybe. They could probably arrive by the end of the week. Hoover, Alabama. That's where they had two a days, yeah. Palo Alto. Oh, there it is. Palo Alto. That's a good one.

Tech people. What about Berkeley? Yeah. Is it not Brooklyn? That's a city. It's all part of the city. Yeah, that's one of the boroughs From New Jersey Stephen you live in New York for like a Decent amount of your life

Any place to that like you know that Brooklyn was one of the boroughs I did could it be argued that all of New Jersey It's just its own suburbs. It's not really the pineys are a little different there. It's a different vibe Hmm any place that like grows like Kennet squares is played the girls mushrooms And it's known for like just stinking like you know certain towns. It just fuck As a paper mill what's Atlanta? Doing down there they They got some. Oh yeah, Buckhead. There's more, there's some suburbs. Buckhead's in Atlanta.

Sandy Springs. Oh, I was wrong. Yeah. Atlanta's just a series of suburbs, really. Massive. Yeah. That was good talk. Dunwoody.

We covered barn dominiums, suburbs. I wouldn't mind. Julio's shoes, Brandon's mom's tits. We didn't really talk about that one as much because it wasn't as... Well we can go more on if we want to. Speaking of twins. Oh yeah.

Speaking of twins. And twins. Oh happy 311 day to all celebrate. Who does? Amber is the color of your energy. Oh. Whoa. Play it to the of your energy. Whoa. They told me I'm going to play an album.

I used to play that on repeat and think about my high school boyfriend. Why? Whoa. It's a good era. Brandon, why don't you do this kickoff read? Because our good friend Bill Burr has got a new special coming. Very excited for it. Bill Burr is the man. Ladies and gentlemen, legendary comedy icon Bill Burr is coming to Hulu on March 14th with his new hilarious stand-up special, Bill Burr Drop Dead Years. Get Bill's provocative, unfiltered,

and honest point of view on everything from marriage to parenthood to dating advice and dropping dead with his signature raw wit and sharp commentary, Bill fearlessly pushes boundaries as he navigates the nonsense and weighs in on mental health, social media, and societal norms. In his first Hulu standup comedy special, No Topic is Off Limits with Bill's refreshingly candid take on the chaotic landscape of our world today. Burr's unique ability to blend deep critique with laugh out loud humor is exactly what makes this one of his most personal and funniest hours yet. See the new, and I just want to reiterate, hilarious is spelled H-U-L.

It's like Hulu and hilarious mixed together. Boy, look out. See the new hilariousilarious stand-up special. Bilber dropped dead years streaming on Hulu March 14th. I'm laughing already. I'm beginning to suspect. Bilber's the man. Hey Che, I'm beginning to suspect

that ad had nothing to do with Kick Off at all. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Che. Oh. What sir? If you'll look at the ad I just read and the label of said and

Okay, yeah titles wrong though that copies well no the titles wrong so who did that Does me oh? People were saying Bill Burr and Billy Corgan were twins. Yeah, they're they're gonna take the they were gonna take a test or something Or what podcast is it? Yeah, it's gonna take a test or something. What podcast is it? Howie Mandel? Yeah. It's Bill Burr's, is he Mount Rushmore? He's up there, dude.

Yeah, he's making his way up there, yeah. A guy working on his new material, the level that he's killing is unlike anything I've ever seen. And I've seen them all working on their shit. He's the best. He's reached that point where yeah anything He says is funny, and also he like says the most basic stuff. He's unbelievable articulates things that like our thoughts

I have and then he says it I'm like yeah, that's what I was trying to say mm-hmm shit He's a free thinker to dude. He's never like gotten caught up in any of these trendy waves. He's just like yeah He's unbelievable man the best so check out his new his new special on Hulu March 14th so drop dead years Bill Burr who is your Mount Rushmore of stand-up comedians yeah I mean he's got to be on there cat Williams this is an interesting Mount Rushmore. Well, and maybe if I had to pick a fourth, I don't know. It's like Chris Rock. Do you go back any further, like Richard Pryor? Oh man, yeah, I love some Richard Pryor specials for sure.

I don't know, like, from my personal Mount Rushmore, I mean, like, he certainly could be on there. I don't know. I've never, like, I haven't thought about this too much. But I would say- Sounds like you gotta start thinking about burn cat Would be my like two favorites if you're gonna be doing the circuit. We're gonna need you to think about this I don't know do you put on the spot you don't you don't have a Mount Rush for well That's a that's an unusual ask people usually who do you think who's your favorite comic to watch and I'll say cat or Bill Burr Personally who's yours, Brogan?

Yeah. Well, Pryor is certainly, and thank you for asking me, because after that last answer, I think we all needed a palate cleanser. Pryor is certainly way up there. Now, there are some people that are canceled who would be on the list, who had great sitcoms in the 80s that should be here,

but they're not here because they got canceled. Well, they wear sweaters like KB's wearing today? Exactly right, that's exactly right. Oh Oh that is 100% a Cosby sweater. I didn't think about that. It's Caribbean digital. That might be an actual Cosby sweater. Oh no. That he wore on the show. Yeah. What about a pumpkin pie eater? Oh yeah yeah. So Pryor... Richard Pryor really likes cocaine, huh? Yeah big time Huge its comedy is the way it is because of him like Carlin as well. I'm a carlin helps Incredible I would have to think about it

And I am thinking about it Jeff Foxworthy Eddie Murphy a southern even though Eddie Murphy didn't do it long I think Eddie Murphy's way did Jeff Foxworthy help help As a southern did you like Jeff Sox for the it is? Yeah, I think tationary like I don't I don't like that this guy is representing our people. Okay. This is an actual nuanced answer I I think Jeff Foxworthy Made us look bad to the rest of and Bill Ingvall kind of made us look a little stupid and backward to the rest of the country but southerners fucking loved him and

look a little stupid and backward to the rest of the country, but southerners fucking loved him. And probably maybe even introduced standup comedy to some places in the south. Like that's southerners in like the nineties fucking love Jeff, Jeff Foxworthy. He's like our mincy. He was like southern hot too. And like a hot, at no point has Jeff Foxworthy ever been hot. You get in trouble when you start calling men hot. I'm saying according to southern nineties standards, he was southern Foxworthy ever been hot you get in trouble when you start calling men hot? I'm saying according to southern 90s standards. He was southern Your bar for hot is so it's it's it It's basically everyone in the world other than Ashton Kutcher. Yeah My first when I was a, the first comedy I listened to

that I was like, oh my god, this is incredible, it was my dad would play me Cosby records. And then it was Ellen's first special that I was like, oh my god. Her first special was really fun. It was amazing. It was really good. All her specials are funny, she's funny.

She's amazing. Yeah. But yeah, Ellen and Cosby. Is that when she was still straight? I don't know. I also watched a lot of Def Comedy jam when I was like 12 to 15 So I have a different yeah, yeah Also, Dickey Glaser is fucking amazing. Yes, very funny. She's so funny. She's so good. She's good

Yeah, Rosie O'Donnell used to be hilarious Yeah, I watched Andrew Schultz's new special. That was very good. He's great, man. Yeah, everyone should go watch Julio's news Dude, we dropped on the same day. I told him I'm like we're like we're like Braun and brawny. Yeah Ten million combined views, you know, he was dropping us I I found out later and like he obviously doesn't care if I'm dropping the same day as him But I still texted him out of respect to say that I didn't do it on purpose and he was like you're good, bro Awesome. Yeah on the map and yeah, not Julio check it out Did you have a party like a release party? No, I feel like shy watching it with other people

Put it on TJ Let's let's judge this Wait TJ, can you play that guy who got the gas pump? You guys gotta see this. Brandon, you'd respect the fuck out of this. Oh, yeah. I saw it. I saw its existence, but I never saw the clip.

You'd respect the fuck out of this. Unreal. Tom, good luck, dude. Attempt the perfect pump. So casual about it, too. I fucking love Tom. He's a man's man. We need this in the office.

Yeah. And you can only let go one time. You can't, like, ease your way up to it. So close. Oh, get off. He just got a perfect pump. Yeah, and you can only let go one time you can't like ease your way up to it That's how I feel when I'm actually pumping gas every time there's an audience around me cheering me on to stop the perfect That was awesome What a thrill that was on your On your prep sheet. It's the longest I've ever seen your outline go with subheads.

Yup, yeah. You started a question. It was, when was the last time you played tennis? Under that, is tennis better than pickleball? Under that, do tennis players look down upon pickleball? Under that, do baseball players look down upon pickleball? Under that, do baseball players look down upon softball players? Under that, have you guys played 16-inch softballs

and moved to Chicago? And under that, have you played stickball in the last 20 years? Why did your brain do this? And then, what is your favorite type of bubblegum? I don't know. Nope. Good dugout treat.

What happened there, Steve? Do you look down on pickleball? Tennis players definitely look down on pickleball. I think everyone looks down on pickleball. Now, baseball players don't look down on female softball players, but they probably look down on male softball players. But there's like no interference. I don't think it's the same question as asking the tennis pickleball one because there actually is like a rival. A softball doesn't rival baseball. No, but, male softball.

From a skill perspective. But I think there's a rivalry in the fact that they're converting tennis courts, right? Yeah, whereas they're not converting. Yeah, there's an actual turf war between and the sport of tennis is losing losing players, right? To pickleball well, they're like twilight in their twilight years But I love pickleball because I just show up and I don't know how to play it. I'm better than everyone Because they're all 85 so that's fun to me. I don't know how to play and I'm better than everyone. Well yeah, because you play tennis in college. Because they're all 85. So that's fun to me. I don't feel threatened.

I'm just like, what are the rules? And then I win, which is sick. Wait, did you guys start playing your pickleball? Chay just hasn't shown up yet. I didn't see her last week. Any day now. Randy and Chay are supposed to start playing pickleball together in the mornings.

Any day now, we're going to start. We're supposed to start tomorrow, but he's doing the thing tonight. Yeah, so tomorrow's dicey, but it'll be Wednesday mornings moving forward. Wednesday morning's at 8. We're going to have a pickleball, but he's doing the thing tonight. Yeah, so tomorrow's dicey But it'll be Wednesday mornings moving forward Wednesday mornings at eight. We're gonna have a pickle ball You need to get a paddle. Are you have paddles here? Are you ready for tonight? I? Don't know I I kind of found out what it was this morning. I had like a general idea I still have a full idea, but it'll be fun Kate's doing it right. I'm very excited for the surprise guest

Simulator I loved watching Hank had the same Feeling that I had last Tuesday of like you come in to work on Tuesday, and they're like wait What did I sign up for yeah? What you guys had that a couple weeks ago and you the way yes, what are all of you guys doing? Here's the rule so you get on a plane flown by PFT There's nine of us we're gonna compete in plane themed challenges for a cash prize after each challenge Somebody gets kicked off the plane so the order of which you're voted off determines how much cash you get But if PFT crashes no money you have to complete a punishment for the next leg of the flight wait Where's he flying to we're doing multiple stuff. I think we're doing like layovers all over the place

I think we're have like a final destination But I think there's gonna be like takeoffs and landings and PFT put his chances of landing every time at about 50% Yeah, it should be interesting. So we have to start I'm most nervous about Nick came out to me last week He's like wait, you're doing it and then he laughed and Nick happens to be in charge of these challenges Oh god. What? Eighth place gets zero dollars and then or eighth eliminated so the second place like whoever comes in second gets no money and whoever wins gets a thousand dollars. So how do you get eliminated?

Voted out or worst in the challenge? Worse than the challenge but I believe like I don't know. I don't know what to expect. And I think we're sitting in like plane formation like we have to sit Like we're on like the chairs are gonna be set up Bring in my neck pillow To and I'm looking I don't know looking at a thousand dollars richer than I We shall see

Steven when are you gonna swim then today if you're doing even right after a quick picks doing quick swim then I Quick picks into quick swim Damn dude Whoo, yeah, then train it back in do you stretch beforehand? No Why would he I asked my laps though to try and catch up so I'm trying last week I did Attempted three so I got two points to five laps and three total or three straight to try and catch up. So I'm trying, last week I did, attempted three. So I got 2.25 laps. Three total or three straight?

Total. Of course. So you got a quarter into the last lap, the third lap and said that's it for me. Julio, Steven's trying to swim 100 laps this year. Oh God, no. It's not just that though. Where are you at, Steven?

We are at, I believe it's 11.25. So yeah, it's March this Do you want to explain how you do it though? Julie you might you might want to just leave He doesn't come up for air small pool. He doesn't come up for air Does that count as one lap or this this pool that we taped at on that day is about half the size of the one I normally do He can't he doesn't breathe the laps are a subplot. He doesn't do this thing. No why not? No one knows I was trying to up my lung capacity again wouldn't it doesn't up it I don't know why that was a priority either training your lung capacity at random

Intervals like every couple weeks and then taking a month off does not change your lung capacity. Well, I mean, it was designed to be pretty much every week. So we're trying to be consistent. It sounds like you're trying to build your VO2 max up, which has nothing to do with holding your breath. Is that true? Are you trying to build your VO2 max up? Uh, I don't know what the VO2 max is good goggles sounds like he's not trying to build his VO2 max

Amazon? no at any point have you been like that's a good point guys I see where you're coming from that is kind of a weird challenge I'm doing no he has never in his life done that but like in your head at least? I mean at this point you know I'm not gonna change it like that wouldn't be a good storyline to follow at all so yeah

Yeah, this is we're gonna roll with it right it is absolutely set concrete. It's an incredible storyline If you guys would prefer I breathe then I can try that but I think everybody should prefer I prefer you not breathe Yeah, I'm having more fun. You not breathing right an incredible storyline Where were you at moment? I'm having more fun you not breathing right incredible storyline Where we win moment when you go down and back? I mean in Stevens defense if you had to rank like the current yak storylines. It's probably times up five Well, this is proof of New York not being as good as Chicago like the fact that you're just in multiple pools all the time Like it's not something you do in New York. Yeah just in multiple pools all the time like it's not something you do in New York. Yeah.

You know what I mean? One of the many. Is smoke's New Year's resolution at Buntz? Because hard 75, that's 75 days, right? No, I think he's just trying to fuck everyone in the office. He does seem to have calmed down on the working out over the last couple of weeks. But he drank. Yeah, he was just falling off.

He's just falling off. Like he hasn't come, the last two days I haven't seen him working out. He just gave up. He just came and went straight to the bar and ate breakfast now. Maybe he's working out in the afternoon I don't know. I don't know who knows how cool and all we have to ask him, and I don't want to do that Yeah, I don't want to have a conversation with them ever again. I agree with that. That's smart stay away from that Well, he was working out cuz he had nothing else to do around here now that he's fucking everybody.

Now he has people to do. Now he's fucking everybody, he doesn't have time to work out. He's our Bonnie Blue. So I think that's what's happened. And the thing about him is he could be like a model or some sort of B-level actress. Like a mid-tier mid-tier actress.

Sure. Was she at like, she's at spring break? Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw that. That is. Yeah. And everybody taking a picture with her is getting roasted for it. Guys are just kissing her?

That's got to be tough. Think she's spitting a dude's mouth? She's attractive. Yeah, I think so. Like, if you just saw her on the street. Yeah, she's not ugly. Yeah. It's just everything else that comes with it.

Imagine like, what happened last night. Yeah, I think they only fingered her Who let the dog unleash We just made out made out with fucking long why'd you let me do that still got it making out for a while I didn't think about making a move past I want to get to know her first Boy fingered Bonnie blue You just felt her up. Yeah. Mook is going on a date on Saturday, on St. Patty's Day, and he's worried that because she agreed that she's a loser.

Because she agreed to go out with him. On St. Patty's Day. All on St. Patty's. What if? Oh, she doesn't have a friend group. He planned a date too. That's a crazy date. I don't go on a date anyway.

That's also just not St I had a stay is it Okay, so wait. What's his play? I hate that this thought comes to my mind Is she using him as a like a prop of some sort for what because he's got red hair leprechaun We're going to a theme party, will you? Yeah. I bought you a green suit. Is this the trap he's walking into? It's possible.

Oldest trick in the book. It's possible. Is it just a standard date or is he just bringing her along in the mix of the crowd? They're going to sushi at a specific place that Mirage seemed to know where it was so if you guys felt like pulling up on it you likely can figure it out sushi on st. Patrick's That's about right he's getting caught Could be trouble

Or was his plan at st. Patrick's day she's gonna want to go out for drinks after What is the best holiday to do Not Valentine's Right yeah not Easter July 4th see some fireworks. Yeah like go on a boat or something that would work First date yeah April Fool's I think it's first date. Yeah, April Fool's Sir interesting any of our bird areas not really Easter could be of the ones you've named almost the most ideal on Sunday for a first date The rest of them are just so bad for first dates

I think if you're a veteran with like a missing limb Memorial Day probably you probably clean up interesting How we Halloween's not Pretty well Halloween Talking points loosen up the mood. Yeah funny stuff to point out a lot of people walking by outside the window That would be a reveal of taking off the costume Yeah, so if you have a st. Patrick's Day date are you not drinking during the day before the date? Because sushi doesn't seem like something that goes great after but I guess of daydream isn't it on like a Tuesday or something So well, he's talking about Saturday so the same practice day on Saturday like when they die the river and everything So they're doing it Saturday. Yeah, and he's off the sauce too. Is he? So we'll see how that goes for him, I think he might have to get back on the sauce play down

Alright should we spin the wheel Mackenzie dating show update we do so on Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I missed an email or something, but they'll be in on Tuesday on Monday What just to warm us up again and everything one day? Yes, okay? Yep. We'll be going through we got the living room We got the photos And their ideal day blah blah we have some criteria. We're gonna go over Monday, and then Tuesday They'll actually be here for their speed dates with Mackenzie all right so great Stay tuned the world's most drawn-out dating show is coming to a close on Mackenzie will find true love or not Probably not. I think she's gonna. I have my I have a new favorite

So I think you're falling in love. No Was it based on intuition? Hmm. Who is the favorite? I don't want to say I don't want to I don't want to screw I've led Mackenzie a straight before I'm not gonna do that again I pitched her really hard on a guy who turned out to like filming ladies in locker rooms Classic story Actually did it twice right? Yeah, I think what yeah, he got caught the second time one of those things who among us So yes, but that's they're coming in

If you have any fun idea that you'd like to see but been brainstorming and coming up to some stuff fellas any input What so what do you have already speed dates? I don't want to I don't know But hit me up. Okay, or just tell me I'm down All right, yeah, let's spin the wheel you want a programming note for next Thursday and Friday Oh, yeah, next Thursday Friday. We will not have a yak because it will be the first round of So we'll be live-streaming so yeah, there'll be no yak those days tuning the live stream we do it every year I think most people will be watching the tournament. Yeah Yeah

Fucking shit no doi Yeah, very tournament very excited for the tournament. Very excited for the tournament. I'll be at the other tournament. Wrestling? Yeah. In Philly.

Philly, I'm excited. Okay. Oh. There it is. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh. I got it. Right. You guys, you have to go with me if it lands on you. There it is You guys you have to go with me if it lands just so you know yeah, we know okay

Fucking god. I think I'm gonna turn some hearts. What's the process here? You're gonna have a good time I guarantee it I'm like the men's warehouse it dates. You know? The two or one? Two people? Or one person? Danny's coming with us. Okay, yeah, that's right. One person that Danny's coming with.

And this person has to do it. Whoever last, Malasek. I'm still, we just, you know, it's tough. We'll sort that out. Long-distance relationship. Let's give a sec. Wait, no. Tony! Oh, it's KB! All right, we'll start that out long to This is awesome what defense by me I blew you away Cody Damn it, Kate. I huffed and puffed. Oh, Cody is going to make Kate drop this whole idea. This will be the last of it.

This is going to outlast you. Yeah, this is terrible for you. Kate's going to come back and be like, I'm done with this. I think we're going to have the best time ever. No, no, no. You will not. I think you'll be sad. When are we doing this?

Oh, I love this. Just get it together. I guess. What day is today? Some point this week. We'll figure it out TG. Can you do you know cody well? I know I've like go can you pull up a little time story yesterday when he was riding his bike? Oh, just get a little taste of cody. Oh, no I Love cody. I think he's it. I'll say it is one. I think Cody's a little taste of Cody for you Summer loading I saw Was a scooter not a bike to oh changes things oh

They're just driving through the city. It's like I got to film this to put life as a highway Use one handlebar I gotta film this and put life as a highway See his tweet today, I think Danny you saw yeah, he's a fraud dude. He's lied Triple burger at 930 a.m.. Just a lie didn't do it. He told me yeah, that's a picture from He looks at you after like how don't understand the joke? How didn't you know? This is a fake picture that I was my breakfast Also, we have like three guys at Barstool that do like weird lunch in the morning stuff now John Rich did ribs Francis did lobster so like I fucking love Cody man

This is gonna be hell for me and just cuz of Cody not cuz cause of you, Kate. Okay, well let's get cracking. Yeah, I'm excited for this. This is gonna be good content. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. See you. Hey, nobody loves Cody more than this guy right here. That's gonna be awesome. Alright, love you guys. See you tomorrow.

Bye.