The Yak - Big Cat's Creating His Own Village Called Yaktown | The Yak 7-14-23

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

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Starting point is 00:01:02 Use promo code YAK15 to get 15% 15 off your order must be 21 or older to purchase please use responsibly Yo, TJ, hold that up. Hello. It's a yak. Gotta be a yakagami. Me, Rudy, KB, Kate. What's up? Happy Friday, everyone.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Woo. Happy Friday. Friday. Are there people in the office? Smattering. There are literally people. That's true. That's a good point. No one upstairs. I'm literally looking at people. Oh, yeah, look, and here we go.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Live view of the office. It's bumping, dude. You can't, there's more nooks and crannies now, so it doesn't look like there's that many, but there's, like, behind the cameras there, there's somebody. Yeah, there's Meek Phil stomping in some dog shit again. Who put this dog shit here? Who's that in the sitting?
Starting point is 00:02:12 Who's that kid? Sam Martin? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we already hyped him up. Yeah. What's Sam do? He's Austin's guy. He digs up a lot of shit. He researches. Wait, he's so he's Dave's assistant's assistant. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah, he came on here. He was like really... I need a fucking assistant. Good guy. Yeah. Yeah. He's probably my favorite person here. Really?
Starting point is 00:02:36 Yeah. He's like the type of dude that I gravitate toward. Why? Humble as hell. Smart. You know him this well? A little bit cool, but a little bit dorky. How much interaction have you had with him?
Starting point is 00:02:48 A few, enough. Okay, all right. That would be funny if you were like, I talked to him once. But my favorite people are people I barely talk to, like him and Jack McCartney. Yeah, true. Carthy.
Starting point is 00:02:58 McCartney. Roback, by the way. Roback.com. Use the promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Roback.com. Q-Zips. Joggers. I'm wearing the joggers right now. Hood way. Roback.com. Use promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Roback.com. Q-Zips. Joggers.
Starting point is 00:03:08 I'm wearing the joggers right now. Hoodies, polos, shorts, everything. Roback.com. Yeah. So it is Skeleton Crew. It's good to have Friday. This is actually my second to last Friday in New York. The New Yorker.
Starting point is 00:03:21 How are you prepping? I have not prepped well at all. I am. I am. I've moved enough times as an adult where it's like. My my thought process is essentially like just it's going to suck. Just don't let it suck until it has to suck. I just live your life until the very last moment and then just be like,
Starting point is 00:03:43 are you going to have to carry any piece of furniture once? I think as a man, I will just because when the movers are moving, it's like if I don't help out, like, who am I? But I don't technically. Yeah, I pick when I think I have the movers when I've moved. I like will pick up a box and move it like four feet. Right. Like a more opportune location. Right.
Starting point is 00:04:06 To make it feel like I've done something. Right. It's so awkward when you're just sitting there. When I moved to New York. I don't touch a thing. When I moved to New York, I drove in a U-Haul with just me and Stella with all of our stuff. That was the last move I did myself. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Yeah, that sucked though. It sucked, but that's kind of cool. Having to move all my own furniture. Yeah, that blows. But being in a U-Haul with your dog is kind of like a move. Yeah, that sucked, though. It sucked, but that's kind of cool. Having to move all my own furniture. Yeah, that blows. But being a U-Haul with your dog is kind of like a move. Yeah, it was a vibe. You're right. That is a vibe.
Starting point is 00:04:30 It was a fucking vibe. Yeah. I'm in the same boat. I, like, I'm always, every time I move, I tell myself I'm going to prep well to, like, limit my stress. And then I decide towards the end that I'm just gonna just like macro dose stress on right like for like I will stay up for like 24 hours and pack the whole night before yeah just ruin just make this 24 hours as bad as possible so the preceding week it's okay I used to do it
Starting point is 00:04:55 in college when it was like a paper like a final I would just not do anything until like 24 hours before and then I would literally lock myself in the library and like not leave for 15 hours. Did you do – I know my brother did this horribly, and I did it sometimes too, but moving in college where your parents are like, we're going to be there in 45 minutes. I hope you're packed. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they hung over, and they get there, and my dad's like, you have done nothing.
Starting point is 00:05:21 What? Yeah, and it's also – We were terrible at that. It's always very deceptive how much shit you have. Yeah. I remember even in college moving out of not a very big place and being like, how did I have all this shit? Spoons.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I'm always fucked up. You know what? Once you pull the trigger on throwing things in the garbage, like dishes and stuff, Nick and I were saying we have both thrown away plates because i didn't want to do the dishes yeah because you're just like i don't want to do this anymore like i don't want to move this buy new ones okay this is the first time i've really tried to downsize a ton of stuff and i've made three trips to goodwill so far with like shopping
Starting point is 00:06:02 carts full of stuff yes and i still it's like and carts full of stuff and I still it's like and then I come back to my apartment it's like I haven't done anything I'm like what is where is all this shit coming from shit is just in the world just so much garbage is where it goes I know landfills are a thing but there's too
Starting point is 00:06:20 much garbage yeah where does it go I think they light it on fire do they yeah I think they light it on fire. Do they? Yeah. I think in New York, I watched a YouTube video about it. They take it to Connecticut and just fucking light it up. No shit.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Yeah, they light it up. And they ship it. Some of it, they ship some of it to South Carolina and light it on fire. I guess there's a lot of land. But yeah, sometimes I think about if i'm up late at night like what if everyone's furniture in the entire world was stacked on top of each other would it hit the moon on like greenland or something yeah stack it on like glaciers like just throw the garbage there yeah just ottomans everywhere yeah we should just pick one why not big island yeah trash island yeah
Starting point is 00:07:02 i think if we just started dumping enough into the sea in one spot, it would create more. How high can garbage get if it keeps stacking? I don't know. Oh, isn't there that like plastic island? Yeah, in the Pacific. Can you Google that, TJ? Yeah. That shit blows my mind.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I remember Cam Pendleton. Fucking up the albatrosses. Cam Pendleton had its own like landfill for the basin every now and then you you would get sent as like a lower enlisted to dump stuff off they give you like bulk shit and you got so lucky if you got to go to the dump because you got to just throw shit like into the crevasse you know nice of a big the bulldozers are going and pushing stuff my dad loves going to the dump he's a dump dump dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the dump feels great.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Remember as a kid, it was like you had to go to the recycling plant to drop. At least we did growing up. We had to like go somewhere to drop it all off. And I like loved that as a kid. I didn't really care for it. One of the dump does feel great, though. Yeah, but it was like, yeah, it was at the dump. So you got to.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Holy. Oh. How big is this? How does it end up together? That's a good question. Why does it... It's like they're doing a hangout. Wasn't there an area called the doldrums
Starting point is 00:08:19 where the wind and current kind of stops? Twice the size of Texas? Is there a picture of that? How is that possible? Or three times the size of France? What Twice the size of Texas? How is that possible? Or three times the size of France? What is the size of? That's too big. That's way too big.
Starting point is 00:08:35 This just blows my mind. Oh shit. All of this. So then what, we just haul it back onto land? I'm seeing graphs and maps, but where are the real don't do that although i did see a tiktok this morning these i think these australian dudes i found them on tiktok they rule they go to the beach and they find like a whole crew of seals and they like isolate certain ones that have like nets wrapped around their neck and it's awesome they come in
Starting point is 00:09:05 like on a zodiac and they like beach the zodiac and jump off and sprint after these seals catch them and the seals like don't know what's going on so they're trying to escape and they like pin them down and then free them free them and they have like a whole tactical like vest with like pliers and everything it looks like a body cam footage of like raiding like osama bin laden's house like it's that intense. That's awesome. Fucking rules. And every, they never miss.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I guess they wouldn't post their misses. Yeah, there's definitely been some misses. There's definitely been some times. They probably killed some seniors
Starting point is 00:09:33 trying to untangle their shit. They get dicey with the pliers because it's so tight around their neck. They probably have definitely sliced a few jugulars. They probably gave
Starting point is 00:09:40 a fucking seal a heart attack. Big time. There are like office jobs in Australia. Do people work? They have to. I think so.
Starting point is 00:09:47 It's the biggest industry in Australia. No, they probably have normal ones. Yeah, they probably have tech. Yeah, they do. Everyone there is tatted up. Melbourne looks cool. It looks like New York. Yeah, I want to go to Australia.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Isn't it where they sent all... It used to be where they sent all the criminals from Europe, right? Yeah. Fun group. KB always just says I'm turning Australian. He looks Australian. Yeah, you do look a little Australian. I'm trying, dude.
Starting point is 00:10:12 It's like the coolest place ever, dude. Yeah, it is. Like, my Instagram Explore page is exclusively incredibly hot Australian shit. Why don't you just go? I want to go, but it's like, it's far. Yeah, it might be the hottest country. It might be, but I'm very skewed by an algorithm, so I don't know if I'm seeing the full picture.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Why don't you go for Christmas when we have 10 days off and it's summer there? I'd love to. Is it summer there? It is summer there. Southern Hemisphere, yeah. I want to go. You can.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah, I guess I can. Yeah, you should just go. I've never done an adult vacation. Go. Without my family Yeah go It's a good feeling I almost
Starting point is 00:10:48 I think I'm gonna go to Hawaii After yesterday Dude I'll give you all the I said like maybe November Would that be good Yeah Maui Gotta go Maui Maui over like Honolulu
Starting point is 00:10:57 Yes Maui is like Paradise And If you wanna do it right The best thing I did in Maui Is I rented a uh a jeep where i could take the top down just cruising around in that like because there's like a
Starting point is 00:11:11 mountain you can go up there's like this really cool fucking uh it's the road to hana it's like this super super windy road that goes like throughout the whole island and you get to like the end it's like a red sand beach, like all this shit. Yeah, I need that. You got to do it. You got to do it. I heard there's no bugs there. Is that true?
Starting point is 00:11:29 I don't know if that's true. No. Hawaii? Hawaii has the giant centipedes, like the giant, giant. They crawl, though. They don't fly. No, you're right. They don't fly.
Starting point is 00:11:41 They bite? I don't know. I'm not sure. I see a giant centipede. I don't like looking at them. I ran into a giant centipede when I lived in Texas. Ran into one? Yeah, I ran into one.
Starting point is 00:11:50 What do you mean? You're just walking down the street. You're like, oh, fancy seeing you here. It was a Midwestern centipede. Oh, my girlfriend was visiting, and I was living with my billet family, and they were pretty strict. So they had like a separate house. We lived on this like dried up lake, and they made her stay in like the separate house.
Starting point is 00:12:06 And it was like half a mile away. She called me one morning and she was like, hey, there's a bug in here. You got to take care of it. And I was like, oh, okay. It's going to be like a fucking ant. Right. And I was like, all right, I'll come over. I was kind of being like, yeah, I got this shit.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I go over there and she's like, you have no idea what you're in for. And I was like, okay, you're just being a damsel in distress. This is going to be nothing. And I show up. And this centipede, I swear to fucking God, was like eight inches. It was like a subway foot long. It was huge. It was thicker than like, it was thick.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And, yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. It was thick. It was thick. Thicker than something that I could, the most equatable thing on my body that I could equate it to. That's when, that's the size that you shoot it. I wish I had shot it.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I wish. Yeah, because if you stomp it, it makes a huge mess, right? And I was almost like, I grabbed a paper towel and grabbed it, and it was holding a snake, and I was like, I just did the worst thing ever.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I ran outside and just threw it. Just threw it into the world. I want to see one of these giant centipedes. They're horrifying. I'm not going to look. You have to see one of these giant centipedes. They're horrifying. I'm not going to look. You have to look. Horrifying, dude. You have to look.
Starting point is 00:13:09 How many legs? Why is that needed? So many legs? Why? Why is it saying that? Yeah, a move I like to do that's just a masculine thing is when there's a bug in my house. Just don't even worry about getting a paper towel. Just kill with your fucking...
Starting point is 00:13:22 I'll just go like... Really? Yeah. Spiders. Squeeze them. Yeah. I'll just go like. Really? Yeah. Spiders. Squeeze them. Yeah. I always. Like a man.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Might start doing that because I usually go like. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing. Exactly. Right. I always get like a piece of like toilet paper. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:13:36 That's a cat. I thought that was the giant. Oh. That is big. No. Some of them are poisonous. I don't know which ones. That thing is huge. That's about what I was dealing with. Oh. big. No. Some of them are poisonous. I don't know which ones.
Starting point is 00:13:46 That thing is huge. That's about what I was dealing with. Oh, fuck, no. Dude, look at it wiggle. KB, by the way, did you see, speaking of cats, did you see that MJF has the same cat name as yours? He has a cat named Piper? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Really? Yeah. That makes me feel better. Okay. I think, yeah. Better or worse? My second Piper. That makes me feel better. Okay. I think, yeah. Better or worse? My second Piper. That's your second Piper?
Starting point is 00:14:10 Second Piper. Oh, the first one after you locked her in the closet? Put out a name contest and someone submitted Piper. I was like, nah, I like that. The first Piper was the one that you left in the closet? Left in the closet. You locked her in the closet, right? That was, this is this Piper. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:14:24 That was recently. I was this is this Piper. Oh, okay. That was recently. I was worried that that Piper. Cats live for so long. I'm excited, yeah. For your cat to be like 18 years old. Yeah, she's already, it's sad. She's already like becoming more of a cat than a kitten. Ah.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Growing. Damn. Getting uglier. Losing that youthful exuberance. Still youthful. Still. Growing. Damn. Getting uglier. Losing that youthful exuberance. Still youthful. Still cuddly. So. I'm surprised they haven't found a way to make just like forever puppies.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Like genetically. They've done almost everything else. Yeah. I guess like cloning shit. Teacup animals. Yeah. The teeny tiny ones. Cloning sheep.
Starting point is 00:15:02 They're cloning Tyrone. Although you wouldn't want a forever puppy because the puppy's energy is insane. Yeah. I think I'd want a cat. I've never had a... If you have a small apartment, if you live in a big city, have a small apartment, I recommend a cat. Yeah. I just like how mellow they are.
Starting point is 00:15:20 And it's just like... I've never had a dog. Mine is not mellow. Mine is just like a puppy. Really? Yeah. It's a little girl. Still is just like a puppy. Really? Yeah. It's a little girl still, kind of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Teenage now? Now I would rather have a daughter than a son, I think. You'd rather have a daughter than a son? I don't know. Damn, dude. I mean, my daughter's my number one right now in my power rankings, but I already know she's going to be handful she gets to be teenage i was at my i was at a birthday party for four-year-olds last night with my son i had to check myself because like there was there was some like the kids whose
Starting point is 00:15:56 birthday it was had some older siblings so some of their friends were over and they started talking about soccer and one of the kids was like messy is the worst and i was like what are you talking about and i like scolded him and i had to like stop myself i was like wait this is like a seven-year-old you're scolding i love that yeah i get their takes off the guy i'm saying bronze the goat i was like i couldn't deal with like hearing stupid boy opinions yeah son i don't know the girl world so they could like spout off about whatever the fuck pop culture, and I wouldn't know how stupid they are. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:28 But yeah, the stupid sports opinions, I'm going to have to really catch myself, because it was like, LeBron's a goat, and Kobe might be too, and I was like, oh my fucking God. Yeah. Yeah. See, I couldn't deal with shit like that. He's like seven, and I'm just sitting there like Arthur meme. They're so confident about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Oh, so confident. They get 12 12 year olds are just as bad. I mean, yeah, we did. We did power rankings with 13 year olds. They were good. They were good kids.
Starting point is 00:16:52 I hope they're doing well in school socially. Why'd you guys do that? It was just like a month ago. The spur of the moment. These kids on TikTok, they got banned. Like 14 year olds,
Starting point is 00:17:02 I discovered. I'm always discovering them. Yeah, I mean, you are the put on prince. Yeah. You always haveolds I discovered. I'm always discovering them. Yeah, I mean, you are the put-on prince. Yeah. You always have the next up. Yeah, he's putting on princes for sure. You kids.
Starting point is 00:17:12 We're Baby Digs. Bodied us. We're a Baby Digs show, not a Baby Gronk show. Is the Gronk conglomerate spiraling out of control? Yeah, I haven't heard anything in a couple weeks now. It's been... I saw the dad post like like the comment i don't even remember i i yeah i think the dad is kind of like he's trying once he got revealed to be the the person he was he's like really leaned into it
Starting point is 00:17:37 he's like taking the adam 22 route oh dude how about that i mean i knew what happened but then the video coming out and the pictures and stuff like yeah i saw something different man biting the sheets i was like holy see that i didn't is the porn released yes it released today and it's just like the memes have been fast and furious and it's just like horse i didn't realize they had just got married, too. Really? And there's a clip of him being like, I make enough money, like, I would never let my wife get fucked.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Oh, God. Call me crazy, but, like, it is fun. The memes and everything are funny, but, like, I don't find it as shocking as other... Like, they're both porn stars. That's true. That is true. They do a show where he fucks girls, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's what they do. They do a show where he fucks girls, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Yeah, that's what they do. They do a show. I'm not shocked by it. This is a very feminist take of you, Rudy. I like it. Yeah, well, I would be way more stunned if Bill Gates' wife got fucked and he just let her do a porno. That would be shocking. But Adam 22's wife doing a porno to me is not that out of bounds.
Starting point is 00:18:46 It's just that she had never done it. She was a porn star, correct? She never did Guy until they got together. What was that? See, that's weird. That's a twist. I don't think I've ever heard of that before.
Starting point is 00:19:00 I think maybe she was doing scenes with other girls. I just thought she was. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know if she was doing... I just thought she was. Maybe I'm wrong. And you have to like... He turned a wife into a porn star? Not a porn star into a wife? Interesting. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:12 I follow a few porn stars who are wives and moms who seem like great wives and moms. Yeah. And then they're getting railed on the side for a ton of money. And if they do it a lot, you have to wean off off of it slowly you can't cold turkey or you'll have cold sweats right right 100 huh yeah i came across a porn star that i i was a fan of and uh she was announcing she was pregnant and i felt weird about it but my first thought was like damn good good for her yeah i was like i was at first i was like I? Wait, actually, that's the right thing to say.
Starting point is 00:19:46 It put me in a fucking pretzel. Yeah. What else am I going to say? Well, have you seen the new it's I think Kelly Keegs did a blog about it today, but it's not only fans, but it's these women going on TikToks and you you put little gifts like I say I pay a dollar, an ice cream cone will pop up in front of her. And when it does does she automatically is like like oh god you know and her boobs are on whatever and it's these women pretending to be like sims
Starting point is 00:20:11 but they're big natural ladies and you send them emojis and they do certain things like um if you send a cowboy hat emoji a cowboy hat appears on them and they go i want to ride you like they like whatever that's when these women are making thousands of dollars on TikTok acting like robots on sexy robots. But I'm not shocked. No, good for them. I can't explain it. They should be. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:34 This one woman in particular, her. I feel so good. I feel so good. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then she's popping popcorn in a straightener one at a time. 12,000 viewers. That rule is popping popcorn in a straightener one at a time. 12,000 viewers. That rules. Popping popcorn in a straightener.
Starting point is 00:20:49 That's fucking... I like that. I don't know how this would turn you on, though. She's got to be exhausted after that shift. As she does this, like, every night for a ton of time, and makes, like, their estimation is making, like, thousands every time she does this. And then she'll... I went down a rabbit hole on her last night.
Starting point is 00:21:06 She'll stop and yell at her kids sometimes, which really throws you off. Wow, her kids are in the distance? They're running around in the background. It's a weird... I mean, the thousands of dollars, that's easy. But there's a bunch of them now that I'm seeing that that's how they're making money. And I guess, what is it that... Is it that guys get off on,'s doing what I just yeah told her
Starting point is 00:21:27 to do kind of yeah in a way there was a connection between the two yeah and they probably like that shit acting like a video they're like they're like guys who've only ever like gamed and got into like like animated characters and that's kind of resembling that yeah I thought that was interesting that's the new not the new only that's one of resembling that yeah i just thought that was interesting that's the new not the new only that's one of those things that like there's certain parts of the internet that i would i was happy not knowing about but there's probably also like normal ass dudes you get into that yeah that we wouldn't know yeah i mean i don't want to say it but you mean you you you donate on tiktok it's kind of your arena i have i've done a lot i'm addicted to getting the reaction
Starting point is 00:22:05 of donating to someone yeah that's fun yeah but you like find someone that doesn't that has like three people watching right and you'll or no yeah that's where you get the best yeah people who are just so gracious yeah huh yeah i need to start getting donation i the twitter thing i don't people are like where's your how much is your Twitter money? I never signed up. I missed out, I guess. Yeah, my friend texted me. He's like, do you get any money from Twitter?
Starting point is 00:22:32 I was like, fuck no. I don't know how that works. I saw Elon Musk tell Mr. Beast that if you put your content on Twitter, we will match or beat YouTubes. Whoa. Whatever they're giving you. I don't know about that, bro. Beast is
Starting point is 00:22:47 beast on YouTube. That's beast. That's straight beast mode. Doesn't he live in North Carolina and he just bought all his friends and family houses? Yeah, like the same neighborhood. That's so sick. And people are trashing him for that. They're like, weird. That's culty. No, he lived...
Starting point is 00:23:03 Everyone has had that moment with their friends being like, what if we all just got a place next to each other in a city? Build a village. Yeah. Every person who's ever had college friends that all splinter off have had that conversation. He just lived it out. That rules.
Starting point is 00:23:20 It does. I would love to live in a cul-de-sac with all my best friends. In Beast Town? Yeah. I would move there. I would go to Beast Town, a cul-de-sac with all my best friends in Beast Town yeah I would move there we made Yak Town I saw a video the other day of him he somehow managed I guess like if you buy TNT it is like cartoonish
Starting point is 00:23:35 it's like a Looney Tunes it literally just like says TNT on it with like a fuse what? it's like from the cartoon. Yeah. That's incredible. It's fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:23:48 You can just buy it? I guess. You can get it for like, I mean in North Carolina, I guess they do a lot of mining. Maybe it's easier to get there. I don't know how you can procure TNT in New York, but I want to get some.
Starting point is 00:23:57 There are like very specialized stores that do it, and I'm pretty sure you have to have like some type of hardware license. I get all this from the movie Heat. I never actually bought it. Dude, I was just thinking that. I'm reading Heat 2 right now. Reading it?
Starting point is 00:24:08 Yeah. So it's a book, not a movie? It's a book. Out. Yeah. Well, but saying the book is better is an awesome flex. But there's no movie. That's why I read every Michael Lewis book, because I know they're going to end up being movies.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And I'm going to be like, yeah, the book was better. Big Short, Moneyball, all these. But there's like... There's any others. Like Bank Robbery, like Shady Seed. Oh, Michael Orr, The Blind Side, read that. Flash Boys. Flash Book was better.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yep. But how do you do that to an action movie? You use a lot of like capitals and exclamation points Yeah Explosions Yeah I've made it 20 pages in two months Yeah dude I think I've started conservatively
Starting point is 00:24:55 About 30 books in the last like year and a half And have never gotten past like page 30 Yeah it's hard I just buy them on Kindle and read them. I just can't. I actually am reading an interesting one, but it's taking me so long that I forget what happens. And then I go back to it, and I'm like, wait, where am I?
Starting point is 00:25:15 That happened to me with Sapiens. Sapiens was a super interesting book about, like, the history of humans, basically. And then I dropped it for, like, two weeks. I went back, and I was like, I'm going to have to start from square foot. Yeah, like like where the fuck am i in this story yeah no shot i really wish i could read brother like me too i wish i was a reader like people who read are cool because they they have like opinions that they read it's got to be good for you too yeah like cognitively and also
Starting point is 00:25:44 like in today's day and age if you just just read a book, you instantly become, like, top 1% in that subject. Right. You can speak, like, confidently about different things. Exactly. I've never really spoke confidently about anything. Yeah, no, I do. I speak confidently about things I barely know. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Like, I have opinions that are strong, but I know, like, if you press me, I'm like, I don't really know. Do not debate me. Yeah, right. Like, I have opinions that are strong, but I know, like, if you press me, I'm like, I don't really know. Do not debate me. Yeah, right. It's literally, yeah, like, we're the equivalent of, like, giving a PowerPoint in school. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Like, you're like, yeah, I know this information, as you can see, and then you just don't really have any depth. Yeah, I'm really good at retaining surface-level knowledge about a lot of things. Dude, I used to love PowerPoints. PowerPoints were the fucking best. Just winging it. Did you guys used to wing Dude, I used to love PowerPoints. PowerPoints were the fucking best. Just winging it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Did you guys used to wing it? I used to just wing it. Yeah, I was not, I'm a little too old for like the, like I don't think I really gave many PowerPoints, but so it was more like papers where I would just do all the spacing and everything. I think I lived in the PowerPoint heyday. Yeah, we did. Yeah, that was good.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Every college class we did PowerPoint. It was Yeah, we did. That was good. Every college class we did PowerPoint. It was so easy. It was so easy and it looked like, it made it seem like you were an expert. You didn't know fucking anything. Just pictures and just like quick bullet points. All you had to do was have the word spiral in and people were like, wow, they put a lot of effort into that.
Starting point is 00:27:00 That's impressive. Faded in and out. Stephen Chay is a PowerPoint king. True. Facts. Weren't we going to do that? We were each Stephen Chay is a PowerPoint king. True. Facts. Weren't we going to do that? We were each going to do a PowerPoint presentation on something. Yeah, we need to do that. We did on the World Cup. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:13 We did. That's right. That was fun. Yeah, that was fun. I had an idea that I wanted to do where I wanted to have people just make random PowerPoints and then submit them and then live on stream. I would just, no knowledge, just go into it and just present their PowerPoints blind. Should.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Anyone listening right now, if you have a PowerPoint, email it to TJ. We'll put it up. Yes, send in your PowerPoint so we can do like five a day. Anyone in the chat. Do Google Slides. Google Slides. Google Slides. If you have it.
Starting point is 00:27:39 If you have one saved, send your best one. Send your A pluses. I'll put it on screen. Hitchings at Barstool. All right. Yes, send us a PowerPoint. We will do a PowerPoint presentation today. It's a thrill. I see where families will do, like, we're doing a family vacation this year.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Each of you pitch with a PowerPoint where you want to go, and then you present it to, like, the rest of the family kind of thing. I've seen girls do it for, like, guys they're looking at on Tinder. They'll create a PowerPoint for like, here's these five that I'm thinking of talking to. I like that idea. I feel like that would just cause... I've just seen it.
Starting point is 00:28:13 I feel like that would just do the opposite. That would create tension. Amongst the family? Everyone probably thinks their PowerPoint's the best one. Yeah. My family would just go on cruises and it would suck. Cruises scare me.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah. Did you see that new mega cruise ship? Yeah. Cruises are gross, Stephen. I see clips. As a kid? As a kid, they're great. As a kid, but like,
Starting point is 00:28:38 even like, it wasn't, it was like my extended family would want to, like my grandparents would be like, let's go on a cruise. It was always like, it was fun for like a day and then you're like, wait, we're on this ship and it's like the same meal. And it's like just, I also like, there's something about being on vacation with a mass amount of people. The clips always look so crowded.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Yeah, it was crowded. Cupid shuffle. And you actually like are sleeping on a boat that isn't like the most, like it so crowded. Yeah, it was crowded. Everyone's doing Cupid shuffle. And you actually are sleeping on a boat that isn't the most... It does move. Yeah. But did you ever go on one when you were not of age in the U.S., but of age in international waters or a casino? My cruise years were like 8 to like 12.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Ah, okay. Then understandable. Yeah. That's the new... It's called the Icon of the Seas, and it's going to be the biggest cruise ship ever, and it's coming out next year. And it fits, including the crew, 10,000 people, just about.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Yeah, I saw, is it like they said, it's like there's towns in it? It's basically like a floating city. It's bigger than a lot of towns. But I'm like, why? Yeah. Why do you want a big, i would maybe go on like a small cruise on a smaller boat with a limited number of people right i have no desire to be on something like that crazy big oh the the master suite and it was crazy it's like on the corner of the back
Starting point is 00:30:00 and it's like four stories oh i want to see that of this this new one yeah it's fucking insane it's got the if you had that much money why wouldn't you just get your own boat i don't know i don't fundamentally understand cruises it's when i see them it blows me away especially this one yeah the photo of it from the back it's thick it looks like it shouldn't exist it's got like it has all these records the tallest indoor boat waterfall can you find a picture of the back it's thick it looks like it shouldn't exist it's got like it has all these records the tallest indoor boat waterfall can you find a picture of the back of it the back of it like all that yeah that's the one yeah that's oh yeah that's would make like a child's brain light up right dude if you're an alien and you're looking at earth and you're trying to get a read on the
Starting point is 00:30:40 tech and you see that boat i would be like, dude. These guys are doing some crazy shit. Yeah. Look at that water slide. It's got the first ever full family water slide. You can fit a family of six on a raft in that thing, in the tubes. It's got a kid town and whatever. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:01 I want Mook to perform on a cruise ship. That's the one thing he hasn't done, I think. Oh, that would be cool. Yeah. I'm surprised we never did a barstool cruise. Didn't Stu pitch it at that lunch? Yeah, Stu wanted to do... Well, Stu pitched me at lunch to do Barstool Sports Advisors International,
Starting point is 00:31:20 where the entire premise of it was just going on vacation and then taping a barstool sports advisors episode where like we would like do it in front of the great wall of china but why like it's a green screen show why would we do that i remember i was there and i was hard to hear you be like well we could just green screen it yeah the the life out of his eyes like imagine us going to china just to do one episode of barcelona china yeah i think he said china did he said greece he said china he wanted to really hit a few continents he just wants to travel with you guys yeah i don't know what i i think it would just get the same like like, 120,000 views on YouTube. Yeah. Like, and people would be like, why are you in China talking about, like, the Ravens versus the Dolphins?
Starting point is 00:32:12 I don't know. Yeah. I mean, hey, look, no bad ideas, right? No. No bad ideas. It was cool pitch. Truths. Nah.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Damn. Nah. He's cruising for a bruise, and he's just walking around. He does strut There he is He's giving some pounds Oh damn He just got bricked
Starting point is 00:32:35 Oh no That was bad That was rough Yeah he got papered You just papered his ass You just papered his ass. You just papered his ass. You got papered.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I'm cutting something up. Yeah, that was kind of swagless, dude. Yeah, but you got papered. That's a funny term for it. I like that. You can't get papered. That was kind of the only way to do it at that point. I couldn't do a full dab.
Starting point is 00:33:06 What were you cutting up? A clip. Have we gotten any Google Slides yet, TJ? Yeah, I got 50. Oh, my God. All right, can you read us the titles? Everyone, settle in. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Holy shit. Shout out to chat. That's fucking awesome. Classic surgery. Mermaids. Oh, mermaids. Mermaids. Mermaids. You can't just say mermaids right surgery. Mermaids. Oh, mermaids. Mermaids. Mermaids.
Starting point is 00:33:26 You can't just say mermaids right off the bat and not pick mermaids. Fire up mermaids. Maybe do a. Oh, okay. Here we go. In pet. All right. That's a mermaid.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I didn't know that. That's Loch Ness. Is that an early mermaid? That's a mermaid. That's. Oh, God. thing that says mermaids. So this dude just made this? It's just pictures. Did he just make this a second ago?
Starting point is 00:33:53 I don't know. Pre-existing ones. Ones that got you a 96%. All right, TJ, run down the topics. You also should maybe do a quick look. Oh, yeah, good point. You'll see Rudy's dick in one of them. I love our...
Starting point is 00:34:07 Listen, I love Yak fans. I love the commenters. I don't trust them. No. And I shouldn't. That's what makes them great. Exactly. They're a squirrely bunch.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Yeah. Slippery. How can we get all these people fired? Yeah. It's their best quality and their worst quality you got to be right i wouldn't want it any other way exactly you also have to put up safeguards yes yes yes all right i'll do the high noon ad high noon uh if you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt hard seltzer offerings you're gonna love new high noon tequila seltzer premium hard seltzer offerings, you're going to love new High Noon Tequila Seltzer Premium Hard Seltzer Clean Finish because it's made with real Blanco tequila and real juice, only 100 calories,
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Starting point is 00:35:17 highnoonspirits.com find it near you uh high noon the of the summer. Highnoonspirits.com. Go get it now. You saw Messi with the High Noons? Yes. Messi, dude. Messi, that is like a life hack that he just pulled. You're one of the most famous guys in the world, and you've made so much money,
Starting point is 00:35:43 you get to go to Miami, still play soccer, and kind of be anonymous? Like, obviously he will still get recognized, but it won't be anything like he was getting recognized in Europe or Argentina. Yeah. I was thinking, like, him going to Publix, that was probably one of the best moments of his life in the last 20 years, other than, like, winning the World Cup. I'd imagine he gets –
Starting point is 00:36:01 Going to a grocery store. He's never had that. I'd imagine he can't go anywhere without getting... No, he was in public, dude. No, not in... Oh, yeah. He's like an Argentinian or something. He hasn't been able to do that since he was 16.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Exactly. He's been a superstar since he was 16. Probably feels like a drug. And he's like kind of the perfect athlete for it, too. Not only the soccer in the U.S. isn't as big, but he's not... Like, if you saw him you wouldn't be like oh he's a world-class athlete like lebron couldn't do that going to france
Starting point is 00:36:30 people would be like that guy's so tall this happened with uh john stockton during the dream team and they got like stuck on a bus and they were being treated like rock stars and they were just like fans everywhere and he just got off the bus and like walked to the hotel yeah and no and like he's john stockton, so didn't get stopped. Or even if you're a football player, that's a fucking massive dude. Yeah, they've never seen anything like it. I guess hockey players have it. Hockey players can just live their life.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I think NFL, though, too, because they're helmeted. Yeah, but size. Size, you would know they did something. An offensive lineman, if he's still in the NFL, you're like, that guy's an enormous person. Exactly. If Lane Johnson walks down the street, you're like, holy fuck, that guy's huge.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Will you approach him? No. No, definitely not. You just clock it. You looked small sitting next to the football player that was here. Yeah. Like looking on the screen, I was like, oh my God, Big Guy's tiny sitting next to the football player that was here yeah like looking on the screen i was like oh my god because tiny yeah sneak this no i know you look tiny dude you look it's mean
Starting point is 00:37:36 you look itsy bitsy oh yeah yeah hockey players can blend in anywhere yeah so the perfect life so unrecognizable the only downside is like hockey players don blend in anywhere. Yeah. Live the perfect life. So unrecognizable. The only downside is, like, hockey players don't get paid like the other sports. I guess baseball players, too. Baseball would be the best. Yes. Like, Mike Trout probably can walk in most cities and be semi-anonymous.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Like, obviously, people will know him. Yeah. But, like, I would imagine he's not getting swarmed. And he makes so much money. I feel like if he were at a he would wait in line at places. Yeah. He can't go to Philly, probably. He can't.
Starting point is 00:38:17 There's probably parts in Anaheim. But other than that, New York City, maybe. But other than that, he can just live his life. Yeah, big time. That's great. Yeah. I've always thought like the best athlete to be is like a middle reliever
Starting point is 00:38:33 who makes like $10 million a year. Trout's opening up an easy job. And you also just get to hang with the boys most games. And then every now and then you get called upon get a couple guys out you're more or less a super fan you're just watching every baseball game right and working occasionally right right yeah trout's opening up a custom golf course if you had like unlimited money like that what would you do with it that's a great question didn't tiger woods do like a pup pup course i think tiger helped
Starting point is 00:39:05 builder i don't know his name is just on the trout course i don't think it's open yet i've had this uh actually might have been like way back in the day in the yak i had the idea when carabas was still on that i would love to build like a sports facility at my house and just have people come over that i could dominate and like pay them to try but not try to like that's the fox catcher dude yeah right like i would have like a i'd have like a softball field and i'd have carabas come over and i would just hit fucking bombs off him and he and i would like pay him enough money i would feel amazing where he's like gotta be upset like oh not again you fucking took me yard and i just do that like a basketball court where it's like got to be upset like, oh, not again. You fucking took me yard.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And I just do that like a basketball court where it's like we run five on five and everyone has to try, but like I also have to win. It would be awesome. When's the last time you hit a ball over the fence? So, I mean, soft, 60-inch softball. Yeah, we got to all do that soon. 60-inch softball is so much fun, but we used to play on where there's a fence. I hit a couple dingers. We did it when we played first couple years in New York.
Starting point is 00:40:10 We had. Home run derby. No, we also had a softball team that I hit a couple. That one field on the East River that, like, you can only hit two home runs a game. I hit a couple. The wiffle ball home run derby, too. Yeah. Which, by the way,
Starting point is 00:40:25 somebody DM'd me. You say in that video that every five years we're supposed to have a Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby and that was five years ago. So we got to do it again. Because the first one was 2013.
Starting point is 00:40:33 That was 2018. I'm down. All right. Let's figure it out. Let's find a Wiffle. We got to find a Wiffle Ball field. Like someone who's got a real like... So the founder of ML Wiffle,
Starting point is 00:40:44 Kyle Schultz, dm me or uh followed me on instagram yesterday yeah he hit me up and i was like we got to do something like maybe that's what we got to do head out to the meadows yeah let's do a home run derby sick that would be awesome i don't think i've ever hit a homer i've never played baseball really seems cool i had one and it was and the field was impossibly short. And I needed someone to find it. It was Paris, Pennsylvania, about 120 feet, I think. 120 feet? It was the size of like a MLB pitcher.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Yeah, 120 feet is like shallow, shallow outfield. Three home runs an inning, but it was the greatest feeling in the world. Yeah, because 90 feet to third base. Was it Paris, Pennsylvania? You just basically hit a pop fly that a third baseman would catch. Oh, yeah. That's awesome. You know who?
Starting point is 00:41:35 I have like seven action shots hanging up on my wall. That's what if I had a limited- Of me rounding the bases. Yeah, I would do that. I would just hit home runs every day and just be like, what'd you do today? I don't know. Hit fucking 25 home runs off my friend. Yeah, my misread.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Great day. You know who I just remembered does exactly what you were talking about, your dream of just bringing people into your sports complex and dominating it, is Drake. Yes. He does that? Yes. He had a full-on NBA Finals cosplay, basically.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Yes. Where they played full court and Drake won. And he had confetti cannons. Yes. Put goggles on. This is what I want. It was so funny. It was so funny.
Starting point is 00:42:16 He did a press conference and it's just his entourage. Dude, I want it. It was the funniest thing ever. I saw on Instagram, I think maybe ESPN put it up or something, but there's like a custom league that's like guys like us, but it's eight and a half foot rims, and it's just regular dudes. Yeah. That would be so much fun.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Like all this, like just basically just every day waking up and be like, I'm going to dominate in sports, and everyone on my payroll has to let me dominate. Yes. Fuck. It's like Putin. Putin scores like eight goals in a hockey game. Like you find Putin scoring. The goalies are so funny.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Oh, my going in like slow motion in the goalies like go the other way and he scores. You can see the red dot from the sniper on the goal. Yeah. I could dare you to make a fucking. It really is like the it would be the coolest thing to do as a rich guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can see the red dot from the sniper on the goal. Yeah. It would dare you to make a fucking goal. It really is like the, it would be the coolest thing to do as a rich guy. Oh yeah. I think you need some type of you need to believe.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Yeah, I would pay them. I would pay them to make them. You would have to pay someone else to like psychologically trick you to think that they're not actually letting you win. What I would do is i would just have like someone i would have someone who like like game ops and i don't ask any questions and it's like what game are we playing today and then i show up and it's carabas and he like pitches me a meatball
Starting point is 00:43:37 i hit it over the fence he throws his glove and he's like fuck yeah like god damn never actually say it like the mob like yeah right i never I never know what they're getting paid or how it works. I just show up and dominate. And over time, you forget. Yeah, dude, that was a snipe. Look at him. Oh, oh, oh! He literally is doing this.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Like. It looks like the bar's still rolling. Like, yeah, another goal. No big deal. Yeah, he's playing it cool Oh look at this Oh the defender got crossed up The defender didn't even Oh my god no dude did you see what he just did
Starting point is 00:44:15 That was a misdirection That should be in the goalie and accidentally saving it Oh Oh he finishes it I love that he's like yup That looks like a fucking Another one just fucking hard at work here Oh, he finishes it. I love that he's like, yep. That looks like a fucking. Another one just fucking hard at work here. He's going in like slow motion.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Eight goals. What a stat line. Oh, that was nasty. Yeah, you sick. You sick at it. Yeah, look at that. Oh, top shelf. That was kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah. Another one. Oh, there top shelf. That was kind of cool. Yeah. Another one. Oh, there we go. Give it to the people. Probably one. Oh, I forgot about that. Owen's dying for that. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:44:57 The carpet guy is dead. Yeah, the carpet guy. How do you let that happen? He's playing it cool. He's already in the gulag. Uh-oh. Yeah, that'd be cool. That would be so much fun.
Starting point is 00:45:09 That'd be sick. I would like to, if I had endless money, you know how you're like, I think I could survive in the wilderness for however amount of time. At least I think that way when I see those stories where I have to see, but there's people lurking ready to pluck me out
Starting point is 00:45:24 when I'm like, I'm done now. Yeah, yeah now yeah i think like that kind of thing come save you yeah knowing like thinking that you have to survive but knowing that you're not gonna die yeah yeah guaranteed i'm not gonna die but just seeing how long i could last in certain shows they do yeah in alaska there's also another one they do like danish dudes they just go in the woods and then they have like a monitor crew and they just like try to survive in al go in the woods and then they have like a monitor crew and they just like try to survive in alaska you could also do it like golf i'd build a golf course with like some like bends and like a bunch of trees and i just bomb drives and then just have someone down the fairway drop it in the middle or like a ball a drone ball that someone just
Starting point is 00:46:00 yeah trolls like oh yeah must have gotten a lucky bounce. Sitting here 350 yards down the fairway. Look at me, yet again. Yeah, this is all great. Yeah. If I had unlimited money. And I think if you're that rich, too, like. MMA. You know that it's fake, but you don't really care.
Starting point is 00:46:20 You're like, ah, fuck it. Yeah, dude. Yeah, at that point. Playing theater. Yeah, dude. Yeah, at that point. Playing theater. Yeah, exactly. I think I'd want to buy like, I'd want like a huge trebuchet, like medieval weapons. What is that? Like a big cannon. Oh.
Starting point is 00:46:36 You know what I mean? Yeah. I can't think of the other. I said trebuchet the other day and I can't think of it. Catapult. Catapult, yeah. Like a huge catapult. Okay, I like that.
Starting point is 00:46:43 And just, I would just want to have wild medieval weapons and just people come over and it's like, yeah, let's just shoot this cannon at this tree. I would want to do that. That would be sick. That would be cool as well. How much do those hydraulic presses cost? They'd always smash shit.
Starting point is 00:46:58 That'd be cool. I have no idea. I would like one. I love seeing the ones where they're like smelting. Is that the word? Where they have like the big molten like blocks and they just like smash it and
Starting point is 00:47:09 form it into like a disc. Yeah. And they have like this massive machine that has it's like a pincer and they rotate it. There's a guy like really nice with it like rotating it and they smash it and he spins it and they smash it and it forms like a perfect wheel and it's glowing orange. I think I have.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Yeah, that's super cool. Awesome. It's scary though. Oh yeah, those things have some serious force. I'd also do go-karts. Yeah. Go-karts are... Raid it.
Starting point is 00:47:33 I always thought like, you know when you're a kid, like I don't know if you guys had this, but like I'd always be like, oh, let me go on the go-karts. And your parents would be like, nah, we're not stopping for go-karts. But like then you're like, oh, when I get my license, it won't be as cool. It's still just as cool.
Starting point is 00:47:48 I haven't done it in a while. I haven't done it in so long. Having a sick go-kart track. Yeah. It's like Blank Check. I remember that movie being like, this kid rules. All my neighbors had wonky ones where they'd be like, watch out, you're going to burn all the skin
Starting point is 00:48:00 off the back of your arm, so make sure you... Yeah, it's way too hot. It's like a lawnmower engine on it. Having a go-kart would be awesome. Yeah, like driving a golf cart is still as fun as it ever was. I remember driving a golf cart when I was a kid and being like... It needs to be a little faster. A little bit, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Yeah. Yeah, you got to take the restrictor plate off it. Go-kart track, though. Imagine if I just invited you guys over to my go-kart track. Yeah. It would just be the... It would be amazed. It's the best. off of go-kart track though imagine if i just invited you guys over to my go-kart track yeah it would just be the would be amazed the best just whip around and go-karts all day yeah if you if you really had money if you made like every you had like every map for mario kart and you just made it like it was mario kart yeah rainbow road would be tough you could dangle
Starting point is 00:48:42 things and like actually yeah yeah up the course all the time. Yeah. You could throw turtle shells at each other. Yeah. That'd be fun. Fuck yes. My sister flew off a go-kart track. Almost got decapitated.
Starting point is 00:48:55 What? This was before I was even born, I guess. I just heard the story. She's pretty klutzy. Really klutzy. Yeah. Just flew off it, and there was a sign for, like, a Costco sign. And then she just was like, whoosh, and just, like, went right under it.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Oh, my God. Shit. That's a really- That would be a really horrible way to die. It'd be a rough one. Because it's, like, you're a pathetic loser. Yeah, getting killed by a Costco sign. Costco sign.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Yeah, just being like, how'd she die? Go-karting. Go-kart truck. That has, like, been vehemently tested to be, like, the safest thing. Yeah. You can't kill- Your kid's not going to die on this. Right. It vehemently tested to be the safest thing. Yeah. You can't kill it. Your kid's not going to die on this. Right. It's just they're almost out of the way.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Even if you died on a roller coaster, you'd be like, well, that was their fault. Go-kart track could be like, that's your fault. Skill issue. You suck. That's a skill issue. Yeah. 90s go-kart days were different, though. Things were a little looser back then. Although, I feel like they've reverted it where we went to one in Nashville.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Remember, Kate? Yes. Those went fast. They went really fast. Yeah. They were electric though, right? They were like. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:51 But they've made go-karts like going real fast now. Yeah. I'm in. I want to build a go-kart track. Just big cat land where it's just everything you could ever want. Lazy River? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lazy River? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:05 It's a dream. Lazy River. There's this place in Denver called Boondocks, and it had Arcade, Lazy River, Go-Kart, Laser Tag. And it wasn't, like, a huge thing. Like, sometimes those really big ones, they're fun, but it's like a production. It's like a whole day.
Starting point is 00:50:20 There's a lot of people. Boondocks was, like, medium-sized amusement park. No roller coasters, but Lazy River, Laser Tag, go-kart. You think that's like an immaturity thing that we all have where like, I'm just thinking like Michael Rubin had that big white party. I would, instead of having a huge party with like Drake and Tom Brady at, I'd rather have a go-kart track. Definitely an immaturity thing.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. 100%. I'd rather that. Yeah. Much rather. Yeah. I would spend my money on rather that. Much rather. Yeah. I'd spend my money on all that shit. Like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Being at that party would be so much pressure. You wouldn't get to, like, relax. I was wondering, does anybody, like, looking at the pictures of it, like, does anyone actually have a really great time there? Probably, because, I don't know. Yeah. I think there's, like, a couple people that probably have a good time. But, like, I saw, like, a video that, like, the back balcony a video that the back balcony is the photo where the paparazzi can see the house.
Starting point is 00:51:10 And they were talking about how everyone took their time to go there because they know that they're going to be photographed by the paparazzi. And I was like, God damn, that seems fucking exhausting. Yeah, because it feels like a party that would be fun if you just made everyone check their phones at the door. Get loose. Yeah, get loose, have fun, enjoy each other's company instead of being like, I'm going to this party just so that
Starting point is 00:51:30 the New York Post will write about me later. It's like work. Yeah. Did Michael Rubin even make out there? Did he make out with anyone? I think he has a wife or girlfriend. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Why did he have that party? Great point. What was the motive did i miss those days where like you go out and you're like only objective is to make out yeah like i might make out tonight i might make it yeah it's such a great like i'm feeling good and then let's go to a bar and i think i'm gonna catch eyes with someone and make out. It's just such a pure, like, motivator. Yeah. It's so true. Yeah. And then, like, even below that, when you're even younger, being, like, going to a dance and being, like,
Starting point is 00:52:11 the only objective is grinding. The worst is there's, so Chicago, like, bar time is 2 a.m., but there's late-night bars that you can go to that, like, are open to, like, 4 or 5, and going to those and being, like, all right, it's on. And then like 3 a.m. looking around and it's like all dudes. It's like all the girls went home and you're just like, what the fuck, dude? Why am I here?
Starting point is 00:52:38 Yeah, no. There's a very finite moment. I remember when I was at Denver, there was this bar. And then the bars at Denver would get out at like 1, I think, and everyone would just spill into this parking lot, and me and my friends always called it the waiver wire because you've got to lock in there, or if you don't pick something up, it's over.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And then your options are pizza or fight someone. You fight someone at the pizza place. Yeah, right. It's insane. Literally, it's like, all right, here's my checklist. Pussy. Yeah. And then if that falls through, fight or pizza.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Yeah. That probably is why all those fights happen. It's just a bunch of frustrated, hungry dudes. Yes. Like, who lost that night. There's a famous fried chicken shack called Gin's Chicken that was great. And they did the smartest thing. They put a PlayStation that
Starting point is 00:53:27 people could play while they're waiting in line so that people wouldn't get in fights. That's brilliant. That's innovation. That is such innovation. Standing in line just like, if I don't get this pizza soon I'm going to fight.
Starting point is 00:53:43 That was their mindset. I'm going to have to fight. Holy shit. You get home with your boys. You're like, oh, everyone struck out, but we did fight. We did fight. Yeah, load up zombies, dude. Cod zombies.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Let's go. All right, do we have a slideshow? Yeah, I got about 130. Oh, my God. Do we have any that we can... Yeah, you want me to just list topics and choose? You've vetted some of these? Yeah, all of these.
Starting point is 00:54:14 One-year anniversary honeymoon trip. Why Ian should have a truck. Oh, yeah. That one's it. Should have it. Yep. Slick. Oh, here we go.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. I like this. Okay. Why Ian should have a truck. I'll read it for the people listening. School. Will never have to drive me to school or pick me up. This is like a 16 or 17 year old.
Starting point is 00:54:36 For their parents. Yeah. You get to sleep late. I will feel more encouraged to stay after and do more clubs since I won't have to worry about needing a ride. That's a lie. Yeah, what? Winter. Reliable what? Winter.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Reliable in the winter. What if it snows a lot one night? You get called into work, but your car can't handle the snow. Possible to get a plow. Plow our driveway. Possibly plow other people's driveway for money. Okay. This guy's thinking.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Extra car. Won't have to use your car anymore. You won't have to drop me off places. This feels redundant to slide one. No more being bored at Yagu. Second option if you or dad's car breaks down. your car anymore you won't have to drop me off please this feels redundant to slide one no more being bored at yagu second option if you or dad's car breaks down plenty of space in the bed of the truck for transport yagu doesn't sound like a place you'd be bored at yeah okay job when i get a job oh so you didn't have it all right when i get a job i have a viable option of getting to
Starting point is 00:55:21 said job and never worry about having to call in because something happened. Okay. Cost. Would most likely cost you nothing out of your pocket. Could all be paid for by bond money. The bond money will barely increase by the time I go to college. It's only $4,000 at most. Not that much for college. I'll make sure to save money from work to go towards college.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Will most likely have, make more than the bonds are even worth. Will most likely not even need to use all the bonds oh so these are bonds oh yeah paid one of those things these are bonds that he got like when he was born grandparents yeah yeah you get one of those i'll just i'll just say i i had some of those from my grandparents. Shit gifts. Well, it definitely got me out of some gambling stuff. Oh, nice. When I was like 23, I was like, what if I just sell all my bonds? Which is like the dumbest financial thing to do because it takes a while for them to sell your bonds. You donate plasma.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah, I got way less money for it. Anytime I got a savings bond as a gift, as soon as it gets to six months, you can cash in for half the value, and I do it every time. Why? They're just giving me a piece of paper that's going to be worth like 50 bucks in like a couple of years.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Like, just give me the money now. So you got 25 bucks? I got half the money, yeah. Brilliant. Fair deal. That's brilliant. Okay, independence. My first car.
Starting point is 00:56:45 I will be very happy. You will be proud. Why would they be proud? Yeah, no. Will encourage me to try to get a job harder. I will get all the babes. Now that should be its own slide. I like the American flag here, though.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Actually waving. He kind of crushed that. The only thing I would say, if we're going to grade these PowerPoints, I feel like he could have gotten it done in like three slides. Yeah, and I would have brought babes in earlier. Babes should have been top. Because I'm assuming the dad is sort of... Yeah, it should have been like, I would get babes.
Starting point is 00:57:18 Dad, you know what that's like. Yeah. But he didn't defend any of the reasons why someone wouldn't let their son have a car. A truck. As a parent, I would take off the snow page because I saw that and I was like, oh no, I don't want my kid driving in the snow. But the plow for more money. True plowing.
Starting point is 00:57:34 That's true. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Some extra cash. He ain't getting a fucking plow. Let's be honest. I wonder if he got the truck.
Starting point is 00:57:43 He might now. Yeah. All right. What's the next one? I would feel bad saying no if my kid made a whole PowerPoint for something. I feel kind of like. I did it for Yankees tickets for my dad once. What?
Starting point is 00:57:54 Did it work? Do we have that? Oh, that's on the home computer from 15 years ago. I was like eight. I was like, this is a good deal for you if we got these tickets. Did it work? I just opened up the chat. Ian Pett said he did not get the truck.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Oh, shit. That's what he said. Damn. He should have led with babes. Should have led with babes. Yeah. It plays. Yeah, just been like, babes.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Dad, do you want me to go babeless? Yeah, do you want grandkids? Yeah, do you want a son who gets no babes? Honestly, no. That sounds like a nightmare. What? Your son just getting no action. Zero babes.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Like, Dad, do you want me to go to college as a virgin? Yeah. Then don't get me a truck. Do you want me to fight in college? Yeah, you want me to be a pizza fight guy or a pussy guy? Yeah, do you want me to break my orbital bone in college? Yeah, you want me to get knocked out and maybe get concussed and very badly injured? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:43 More expensive than a truck. Yeah, or fat by eating late night pizza every night. Or I could get babes. There's one solution. I get pussy. Should have just been a red pill and a blue pill. It's pizza, pussy, or fighting. Honestly, what it was.
Starting point is 00:59:01 It's the best. Every college kid is sitting there being like, yup, that's exactly how every Friday and Saturday night goes. It's the days when just like the goals
Starting point is 00:59:11 were just so finite. Yeah, and then there's always that one friend who just gets so much pussy and you're like, you have to be like, yo,
Starting point is 00:59:18 let's just like go out the boys tonight. Just basically be like. You have to cope like, dude, that's not even fun. Yeah, like all you do is try to
Starting point is 00:59:26 like have sex we won't have fun but he's still kind of sad about it yeah he's always kind of like a little sad about it yeah because he doesn't want to fight yeah exactly exactly he's a lover not a fighter yeah all right what's the next one i got land forms i got probation parole and courts in Italy. I got why the Red Sox are better than the Yankees. Bridge rehab 2021. Okay. The Beatles.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Not the Beatles. Setting and culture in historical texts. No. Specialties. Oh. Specialties. That's. Yeah, I think that's a grab bag. Let's go specialties. Specialties. Oh. Specialties. That's. Yeah, I think that's a grab bag. Let's go specialties.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Specialties. Blake Baumhover and Grant Simmel. Okay. Are these their specialties? All right. This is solid. This is a solid start. Good start.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Good text. It's a bald eagle with an American flag behind it. I know these guys mean business. Mm-hmm. Go on. They also added a picture of themselves here. Oh, nice. I like these guys. Yeah. Go on. They also added a picture of themselves here. Oh, nice. I like these guys.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Yeah. This is cool. What is that they're holding? Looks like a hoe, maybe. Is it a specialty hoe? That is a hoe. And I like the picture where they're both pointing to each other, like this guy, that guy. Are they showing their specialties, like hoes and friendship?
Starting point is 01:00:41 Yeah. What's that? Yeah, and they both got Nike. All right. Okay. I like these guys yes garage door opener what functions cost and cover by contract garage door opener cost to replace 100 190 yes it is covered
Starting point is 01:00:58 why what is this okay this is there okay let's just We'll piece this together Alright Failures of a garage door opener Okay I'm confused What is this? All the parts of a garage door Central vacuum
Starting point is 01:01:18 Central vacuum system System Yeah But what? A hot tub? So their specialty is garage door openers No it's They also have the central vacuum system True Yeah. A what? A hot tub? Their specialty is garage door openers. No, they also have the central vacuum system.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Is this their business? Is this their... Okay. Spa? I'm so confused. These guys just fuck with mini motors. Pool filter? Yeah, that's right. You're right.
Starting point is 01:01:39 They're mini motor guys. To replace common failure. Okay. Is it common? Pool filter. All right. I wasn't expecting this. guys okay pool filter all right I'm so reiki service so the are these guys handymen what how much what is going on this is their business I'm guessing but what is their business didn't even say where they shouldn't. They shouldn't be advertising common failures. Neil Brem. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Who are great and loyal. We can't. They didn't really format this correctly. That's a tough format. Is someone's dad? That's it. That's it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:17 That was a PowerPoint. That was a PowerPoint. It was. It was. I'm going to be honest. It fell off a cliff after the bald eagle. It did. But then it kind of came back with Neil Brem. It was. It was. I'm going to be honest. It fell off a cliff after the bald eagle. It did. But then it kind of came back with Neil Brehm.
Starting point is 01:02:26 It did. Neil Brehm looks like a guy you want on your side. Yeah. It's unexpected. Okay. What else we got, TJ? I got Trey's top cinema picks, Italian presentation, Tesla, Walmart's distasteful ice cream controversy. Okay, let's maybe go into that.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Walmart's distasteful history of June. Oh, okay. History of Juneteenth. Emancipation Proclamation. Galveston, Texas. Informed June 19th, 1865. History of Walmart. First Walmart location opened in 1962.
Starting point is 01:03:07 This, just pausing for a second, this could go any direction. It could. They're starting with Juneteenth and Walmart ice cream. Is it like the Kaepernick ice cream? It could go hard right, hard left. We don't know. We don't know. Politically, I don't know it.
Starting point is 01:03:22 All right. These are the Walmart founders. The Waltons. Yeah. know we don't know politically i don't know what all right yep these are the walmart founders the waltons yeah can you imagine a company creating an ice cream flavor commemorating the end of the holocaust company should okay so we know which way this is going juneteenth all right uh okay video key points walmart's goal walmart's mistakes community response so i'm guessing this was for their they they had a PR class, if I had to guess. Yeah. Gotta be like Dover Eye. Unique aspects, profiting from history, social media backlash, releases along a pride flavor.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Reporters' questions were ignored, made national news. Walmart's response. Juneteenth holiday marks a commemoration celebration of freedom and independence. However, we received feedback that a few items caused concern for some of our customers, and we sincerely apologize. We are reviewing our assortment, and we remove items as appropriate. So it's maybe that Walmart was trying to take advantage of June 19th? Right.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Yeah, we've seen this before. Okay. Honesty, loyalty. All right. Oh, God. this before okay honesty loyalty all right oh god juneteenth watermelon salad that doesn't yeah that children's museum might have thought wanted to think that one through that was the children's main takeaways lessons that was that kind of got walmart off the hook did children's museum is the real story here yes Main takeaways, lessons. That kind of got Walmart off the hook. It did. Children's regime is the real story here. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:51 All right, what else we got, TJ? I want to know more about Neil Pratt. I got a recap of a longboard surfing video release party. What? Yeah. What? What? Yeah. Does something fun happen at the party? It looks pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:05:10 We got to find out. Log to rep. Log rep. It's too much reading. Yeah. It is a lot of reading. Where's the pictures? Yeah, we need more pictures.
Starting point is 01:05:17 All right, keep going. Okay, so it's a big parking lot party for the world premiere of a... Resin? Part of California. Okay, so it's a big parking lot party for the world premiere of a... Resin? Part of California. Okay, so people partying. That was just a cute pop-up party. All right.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Log wrap, too. They have a pizza. Nice. We wanted to be able to give people the opportunity to own a physical copy of the movie but realize DVDs are not the best option. No duh. So they gave USBs? Okay. Wholesale.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Logged to wrap. Shorts. Hoodies. That hoodie's kind of sick. Reasonably priced. VHS packaging. Dude, that's sick. So this is just a PowerPoint to someone who paid for the party being like, this is what you got? Maybe it was for a marketing class and they were like showing off what they did.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Yeah. Cool t-shirt. These are cool. I like this design. All right. That's too much reading. I was hoping it was going to be like a wild surfer party It's going to be a recap of one particular person's night at the party
Starting point is 01:06:29 Yeah, alright, what else we got, TJ? South Campus MBTA train station proposal Oh my god I just fell asleep thinking about that Plastic surgery If there's pictures. Yeah, there's pictures. Are they gross?
Starting point is 01:06:48 No, yeah. There is like a warning, but nothing too bad. Something like weird. Let me go look through some more. It's like a passion project. All I'm thinking about is Neil Brehm right now. I may have been looking at
Starting point is 01:07:04 PowerPoints through rose-tinted glasses. If you guys are watching, can you make us a PowerPoint is Neil Brehm right now. I may have been looking at PowerPoints through rose-tinted glasses. If you guys are watching, can you make us a PowerPoint about Neil Brehm? Yeah. That would be awesome. We'll play that on Monday. I'd like to know more. The truck was definitely the winner so far. Big time.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Even though Ian didn't get the truck. He tried. It had the best story. Yeah. Yeah. It felt like a journey. I think he did, like, a Google calendar for his parents to sit down and watch it. A meeting, like, Sunday at 2 o'clock, please be in the kitchen.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Yeah. Business casual. Yeah, business casual. Yeah. There will be snacks. Yes. There will be a spread. There will be a spread from our pantry.
Starting point is 01:07:42 Goldfish. For cakes. It was a good try. I want him to get that truck. I know. Unless that was like years ago. It was just the babes. He just buried the lead. Yeah, he did. Just brutal, dude.
Starting point is 01:08:00 He did. Hueco Del Pato. What is this? What country's flag is that? Argentina. Oh, Argentina. This is the game of ducks? Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:18 It's a horse ball. A live duck instead of a ball? No. That sounds awesome. What? They're using live ducks instead of a ball no that sounds awesome what instead of using live ducks instead of a ball game was banned several times in argentina due to the violent nature of the game to the duck and to the players wait what is this it's a game in argentina called juego de pato where they used to play it with ducks and soccer or what are they doing to the duck we have a picture of the game oh it looks like Quidditch.
Starting point is 01:08:45 It does look like Quidditch. And they were throwing ducks into this shit? Riding horses and carrying a ball or duck. Objective is throw the ball. Okay, here we go. Is that a video? Oh, here we go. So it's Quidditch meets horse polo but with live animals i i gotta be honest i would much
Starting point is 01:09:12 rather watch this if it was ducks i will say trying to keep instead of a ball a duck you have to keep in a basket definitely yeahs a layer. Where's the duck? The duck would have been in the ball. Oh, okay. The duck got banned. They would pick up the duck and throw it. I think the duck was in a basket and they would like. Be too tempting to kick the duck.
Starting point is 01:09:39 I just don't understand how you land on a duck. Can't ducks fly? Could you just throw like a Hail Mary and the duck just flies into it. Like a paper airplane? Yeah. Do ducks fly? Yeah, ducks fly. Oh, yeah, ducks fly.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Ducks fly together. Spurts, maybe? Yeah. But when you're coming up with this game, you're like, all right, what should we use to throw in the goal? Who the fuck said, let's get a duck? ESPN's covering it. Oh, that guy got wrecked by the goal. Who the fuck said, let's get a duck? ESPN's covering it. Oh, that guy just... Oh!
Starting point is 01:10:06 That guy got wrecked by the goal. Do you think it's weird for the horses? Because they don't understand a game is being played, so they just are like... They think they're in
Starting point is 01:10:16 the Revolutionary War, probably. It's got to suck to run into your horse buddy. Horses are stupid as hell. They hit each other in the paint. I don't think horses are dumb.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Are they? Dumb as fuck. Are they really? I've never thought about the intelligence of a horse. I do watch the chiropractor videos. Those are fun. Horse chiropractor?
Starting point is 01:10:43 Yeah. It's awesome. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah. Yeah. They like realign their hips. Damn this is rough. Fighting on horses.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Oh shit. OK. They're fighting for the ball Oh damn I grew up kind of on the edge of horse country Chester County, Pennsylvania And I went to a couple polo matches growing up And people get fucked up at those On the sidelines Like rich people getting drunk
Starting point is 01:11:23 Yeah People like get really... By the ball? No, no, it's like a drinking event. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, but like it's slightly fancy, but... Oh, yeah, it's kind of like the Kentucky Derby where it's like being fancy, but...
Starting point is 01:11:37 But we're getting really fucked up. Deep down, we're being very, very, very evil and dirty. Yes. Yeah. Wes Welker. Yeah. What Walker. Yeah. What else we got, TJ? Weather and wine in California.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Okay. College business plan. No. No. No. I want more trucks. I want like a kid's one about dinosaurs. Stephen F. Austin 2019 University Sports Business Project. No. I want more trucks. I want like a kid's one about dinosaurs. Stephen F. Austin 2019 University Sports Business Project.
Starting point is 01:12:08 No. Freshman year of high school Beatles presentation. No. If he's against the Beatles, that'd be fine. This one looks like a lot of words. Potholes versus time. Whoa. Yes. That sounds so This one looks like a lot of words. Potholes versus time. Whoa. Yes.
Starting point is 01:12:27 That's so boring. Is there a lot of words? Let's whip through that one. If it has photos, I'd like to see. Okay, this might be a first. This is a one-slide PowerPoint. Oh, potholes versus time? Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Holy shit. They did not understand what his PowerPoint was. It's an infographic. It's the only slot. Okay, that sucked. That's an F. Yeah. Yeah, I hate that.
Starting point is 01:12:52 Damn. Yeah, that's a nightmare. The career of a seismotologist. Seismologist. That's up there for like, could you come up with the most boring title for a PowerPoint? The career of a seismotologist.
Starting point is 01:13:13 I was hoping for ones like, why you should date me. You know what I mean? Like fun first of all. That's why the truck. Yeah, the truck was great. Worst bachelor party I ever went to. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:13:22 I was hoping for like a razzle dazzle. These are like homework and projects. The people delivered. First bachelor party I ever went to. I don't know. I was hoping for like a razzle dazzle. These are like homework and projects. The people delivered. That's what was asked for, I guess. PowerPoints. It's true. I mean, not that many people have fun PowerPoints, I guess. Right.
Starting point is 01:13:36 Not on hand. I don't know. The truck one was pretty fun. Physics of efficient throwing. Oh, okay. Yeah, I like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that. Oh, yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 01:13:49 I'd like some more photos. Any body part that acts independently of the trunk and spine disconnection creates more time. I want pictures. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Inverted W. I mean an M
Starting point is 01:14:06 There's nothing more boring than like a baseball fundamentals Yeah The old packed humorous Oh he's showing us Forearm play Craig Maddox. Yeah, this is... This is something. This is reminding me why I dropped out of college.
Starting point is 01:14:41 Oh, Jamie Moyer. Ageless. I like all the photos, though. Okay. Yeah. Woo. Yay. Let's spin the wheel, and then let's find one last one.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Last great one. We can send everyone off on the weekend for. TJ, can you play the Monkey Boy trailer? We need people in the New England area. Oh, yes. I watched it last night. Let's play it again. Yes.
Starting point is 01:15:13 That trailer was great. That got me excited. We need people in the New England area to come to this game on the 28th. Yes. Before every appearance, I would say, ladies ladies and gentlemen boys and girls the world famous monkey boy and the crowd would erupt he had great moves on the dugout mocking the umpires he had a nice big bazooka gun you both have been soaked by monkey boy? Absolutely! I loved it! And I'm in the outfield just laughing my ass off. He was really the base of the franchise.
Starting point is 01:15:53 So he did an appearance in 2011, and he was tackled. Were you here for this? Yes, we were. And what was your reaction? Horrified, really. Did they ever catch the guy? I found him on Instagram. I'm talking to him.
Starting point is 01:16:11 Yeah, we're trying to get an appearance. Are you serious? This, the part of the guy. If we got Monkey Boy to do one more performance, what would that do to the city? Lift spirits? Yeah. Nito, what the hell are you doing?
Starting point is 01:16:33 We're doing a documentary on Monkey Boy. Are you familiar with Monkey Boy? That's fantastic. I love that. That was my favorite part. I like that. The entire city knows Monkey Boy. Give him some Advil. Get him out here and let's go. We definitely got to knows Monkey Boy. Give him some Advil.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Get him out here. Let's go. We definitely got to get Monkey Boy. Come on back, Monkey Boy. Now, please, please come back. Oh, famous Monkey Boy. I think that's them. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:17:01 I'm so excited. The question is if you would come back For one more show This month Yeah Absolutely Yeah Yeah I'd be honored
Starting point is 01:17:10 Fantastic Fantastic Because we'd be F***ed if not Are they gonna like Sell out the stadium? Well I mean If we kinda
Starting point is 01:17:19 Would like that Yeah So if you can't make it Join the club So you guys are going back up obviously yeah that's incredible that's need a packed house yeah we need a packed house or else there was a dead i think judging off that one guy's reaction in town i think you'll get a packed house yeah that he his whole like everything lit up when he found out you're talking about monkey boy i don't know if you're a yak fan
Starting point is 01:17:45 that lives within three hours you have to go an hour and a half three hours well if you live in boston you're close three hours yeah all right three hours every direction come on in and you'll be there we'll all be there party not an official barstool event. It's a cultural event. It's like a only chance too. You have a coin. July 20th? You can get some smooches.
Starting point is 01:18:16 Potentially, yeah. Let's talk. Gonna smooch some dudes up. Say you were the guy who tackled Monkey Boy And Kyle was reaching out to you I feel like this is your shot at like Yeah
Starting point is 01:18:31 Yeah, he realizes that Yeah He's ashamed of his past behavior I know, I wish he would Just like rope-a-dope you guys Like, yeah, I'll be there Just fucking crush him again I feel like everyone would be very forgiving
Starting point is 01:18:44 If he, I don't know I feel like it would be very forgiving if he, I don't know, I feel like it could be, like, a really cool. Wait, so when that happened, they just stopped doing it? He, well, he stopped doing it in the early 2000s and came back for, like, a reunion, and then he got tackled, and that made it especially depressing. Oh, man. That's incredible.
Starting point is 01:19:05 Yeah, so that was his last performance. Yeah. Then he moved to Florida, or he's in Florida. He hasn't been back in the monkey boy suit since. Is there going to be beefed up security on the field? What's to prevent this from happening again? You have to be security. Wouldn't hate that.
Starting point is 01:19:24 Yeah, imagine just like everyone in the stands just starts beating the fuck out of them. Yeah, imagine just like everyone in the stands just starts beating the fuck up. Just hung piled him. Suffocated him to death. Why was he waiting for you to come back? Was the team at the time, like why is the mascot a monkey?
Starting point is 01:19:39 It was just like a promotional idea. Like a one-off idea. He wasn't even the official mascot. And Clemmer used to be monkey boy? He did so well It was just like a promotional idea, like a one-off idea. He wasn't even the official mascot, and it took off. And Clemmer used to be Monkey Boy? He did so well. It was so popular in Nashua at the games that he took it on the road to tour the country. And it became a business, and Clemmer would go on the road with him as just an assistant.
Starting point is 01:20:06 And then one day, Monkey Boy tore his ACL doing a stunt and Clemmer had to fill in and it was, he said it was, it was soul crushing. How, how little the crowd, like the crowd
Starting point is 01:20:16 was just dead silent. Oh no. They didn't even boo him. They just didn't laugh or like cheer. He just isn't Monkey Boy. Yeah. He's not. You'd think he has a good body isn't Monkey Boy. Yeah. He's not.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I think he has a good body type for Monkey Boy Clemmer. Because he can like climb trees and shit. Yeah. He's good on all fours. Yeah. Yeah. But not everyone's built to be Monkey Boy. No. No.
Starting point is 01:20:40 It's a unique position. Let's spin the wheel and find one last great slideshow. Bingo. Bingo. Lay it on us, TJ. What do we got? Really good. All right, here we go. DJ Chicken Parm.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Really Good Ideas by DJ Chicken Parm. What I think this is was a class on how to do PowerPoints, and this was a demonstration of PowerPoint features. I like this. I think. Okay. And a demonstration of PowerPoint. I like this. Features, I think. Okay. And a demonstration of my PowerPoint skills. Nice transition.
Starting point is 01:21:33 My lawyer said I had to put this slide in here. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of the copyrighted work is illegal. Okay, this is a good. He's showing us how to use a PowerPoint. Okay. Whoa. Starting at three. Idea number three. Similar to idea number PowerPoint. Okay. Idea. Whoa. Starting at three. Idea number three.
Starting point is 01:21:46 Similar to idea number two. More efficient. Approved by Federal Trade Commission. We don't have any idea what Elon Musk is saying. Wait, what is it? Ideas? Who's that? The Trivago guy.
Starting point is 01:21:59 He's hot for tooting. Property Brothers? Married to Zooey Deschanel. Idea number one. Idea number one. Idea number one. Pretend to mess up on the first slide for sympathy points. Dude, brilliant. This is genius.
Starting point is 01:22:13 Oh, he's got Obama dropping the mic. And the cool kid with the glasses from, was it Tim and Eric? I think those are both Tim and Eric. Fullest House. I have no idea what's going to happen. John Stamos holding a Mojito's yogurt cup. This is a wild ride. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:31 Danny Tanner, super old. 20, 30 people in the house. Okay. I get it. How to save money. stop going to the dentist check that is a true no thanks waste of money brush your teeth ever heard of it yeah he's right he's making good points. Adult playgrounds. Okay. Help reduce the obesity crisis in America. Is this just the gym? Get people outside. 21 plus adults only.
Starting point is 01:23:13 Also, maybe beers. Okay. Wouldn't be creepy. Right, because no kids. That is true. I always get tempted to join in. This is a wild ride. For every pair of shoes you buy, one gets sent to a poor child in Africa.
Starting point is 01:23:25 Uh-oh. Turns out that actually hurts the economy in these villages. The shoemakers put out of business, and their fragile economy collapses. That's a twist. What now? Reverse Toms. Smart. For every shoe you buy, we take away a pair of shoes from a poor child.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. This guy's a genius. And then give them food education supplies. Okay. String theory, but better. Equations.
Starting point is 01:23:58 Equations. Einstein equals stupid. Mm-hmm. Do-it-yourself, new-to-your-dog kit. I don't want my dog to have puppies, but I'm just too darn busy to get to the vet. Includes scissors, sewing kit, some paper towels. Oh, my God. That was fun, this pug probably.
Starting point is 01:24:19 Idea from my wife, Susan. Please come home. The kids and I miss you so much. Please, please, please, please, please come home. The kids and I miss you so much. Please, please, please, please, please, please. David Archuleta should have won. This is going to be good. Boo. Oh, David Cook.
Starting point is 01:24:40 It's getting personal now. That's the end. Oh, David Archuleta should have won what? American Idol? American Idol. That was the end. Oh, David Archuleta should have won American Idol. That was great. Yeah, I enjoyed that one. Reverse Tom's is genius. Just take a pair of shoes away.
Starting point is 01:24:53 Yeah. I'm a poor kid. Save Africa. Okay. TJ, maybe if you keep getting them, we'll do some more on Monday if we can whittle out the boring ones. Okay. That was great.
Starting point is 01:25:07 PowerPoints. Great yak, everyone. Made something out of nothing. Middle of July Friday. PowerPoints. Anything else? Nothing. I'm out next week, but I'm going to be recording songs for you and Kate after this.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Okay. I don't want that. I said yeah. I opt out want that. I opt out? Please. I opt out? A couple. They're going to be good. I'd like to opt out.
Starting point is 01:25:32 One is a borderline ballad. Oh, shoot. Not a ballad, though. Yeah, what's a borderline ballad? I don't know a borderline ballad. It would have been cocky to call it a ballad. You'll see.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Ooh. Oh, man. Confident. That was so Che. ballot. You'll see. Ooh. Oh, man. Confident. That was so Jay. Neil Brim. Neil Brim. Shit. Oh.
Starting point is 01:25:50 Oh, man. Shout out Neil Brim. Look at him. He's joined the Sonoma Water team as our project manager. I trust that guy implicitly. That's a guy with a great handshake, and if Neil Brim says he's going to do something, he'll do something he's not afraid of bugs
Starting point is 01:26:06 I'm also expecting this to be a powerpoint it's just Neil Brehm Neil Brehm is strong for these reasons yeah his legs Neil Brehm legend it's a good fake name too
Starting point is 01:26:24 Neil Brehm sounds Legend. It's a good fake name, too. Yeah. Neil Brehm. Yeah. It sounds like a superhero alias. Yeah, like, I'm Neil Brehm. Yeah. Checking in my hotel now. At night, I'm the Flash. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:35 At night, yeah. I switch out all your toilets to be low water flushing. Yeah, I steal all your batteries. Neil Brehm. All right. Great yak. Everyone. See everyone Monday.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Have a great weekend. Oh. We'll see you next time. Thanks for Venmoing that camp, charity camp yesterday. They raised $4,000 for Happiness is Camping. You guys are the best. Have a great weekend. Stay safe. Love you. Bye.

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