The Yak - Big Cat's Forming a Black T-Shirt Crew at the Office | The Yak 6-16-25

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. Whoa. Hello. It's the Yak. Welcome in. Robak.com.

Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com. Promo code Yak, 20% off. Hello, everyone. Hello to you, Dan. Brandon, you're back. I am so back.

Danny, you're back. Yeah, I had some nice things to say about me Friday. Talked a lot on Friday. It was your worst performance at too much rambling Dan Not shut the fuck up I got people were tweeting me like oh good performance on Friday that they were just being sarcastic since I wasn't here But boy was I wrong? Yeah, very here. We found for Titus and Brandon

We found a video of Eddie's got a party coming up and we were planning for it and they played the video of the party last year and Danny drinks oh so drunk and he talked for like 95% of the video they were they were actually It was the most he's ever talked on the yeah And it was such a fucking snooze I just Believe a boy no idea. So it was such a fucking snooze. I just went out of the nothing They were actually the drunk ones which is that which is why I had to take over the narration you want to see so It wasn't a narration. I believe you we don't have to play

I don't know what you're talking. There's no narration She's so official drug review kind of tastes like She's stone late version of like Arnold Palmer Not the worst thing Eddie's ever made guys guys on the time it cuts. It's back to you. Yeah Danny there's Danny happen and nobody gives a fuck what you're saying Camera can't tear off me. What am I supposed to do?

It's free will. It's the guy in the Hawaiian tour in the crowd. He loves it. I love... He had a karaoke singer, a personal karaoke singer. Wow. $500. Guy came and just sang his favorite songs.

Look, it's Danny again. There's Danny. Hammer Danny. I think we get it. I think we get it. Danny there's Danny hammer Danny Again love him, but he is the Midwest part of Zoa can everybody comment less Danny Boils down to an editing claw. Oh, oh wait, oh it's White Sox theme! Seems fine. Yeah that's fine. You think this guy's giving the camera anything?

Oh! Daddy! Daddy! Big name! Oh! Oh daddy! Is he gonna mock you? Is he gonna take you by the hand and curl you around? Oh Hand

This is not narration We're trying to listen to it Music man, you know what I have something to make it up to you guys actually yeah, oh Oh, oh, oh, what if he killed him standing gonna? Pulls out a shotgun oh Where the fuck is he going? Is he leaving no he's got something he brings him gifts What does he got? Did see it was he gonna put's under his shirt. He's got something under his.

He's barely got it under his shirt though. I feel bad if we were just making fun of him. Oh, oh, oh. Hang on, he's got something really nice. We have a new cancer? Oh, maybe. Who is this? Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh. Wait, Jeff, that's from Jeff D. Lowe. From Jeff D. Lowe, I promised you guys on our Christmas episode, he finally got the 3D print working. Oh. Thank you, Jeff D. Lowe Oh look at that

Your house your drawing has come to life. Yeah, so cool. I mean I envision more It's quite cute the tree is Is it a lollipop? It's a Tumor thank you Jeff off that's Jeff. Oh Jeff's doing his walking right now. And Brandon that's the second house that you've gotten in the past week. Yeah it really is. Hey Brandon you lost a cat? Oh Brandon. Kyle, let the story be told first. Okay go on. You lost a cat. A real one? I lost a cat for a few hours. Oh, OK. The cat, cats are shy.

Cats don't like change. Cats don't like moving. I drove up. I left Friday afternoon at 4. I got to Antioch at 4 on Saturday morning. The only thing I had were I had the U-Haul truck with all of her belongings and the cat. And I went to the new house.

I put the cat in the house. I gave it some food, gave it a box of shit in. I went home I went to the new house I put the cat in the house I gave it some food gave it a box of shit in I went home went to sleep came back cat was still there we started moving stuff cat disappeared cat got disappeared for about six hours and then I was in the basement having given up all hope and realizing I got to come on the yak Monday and beg people to go to Antioch try to find my cat and the cat peekaked Its head outside the basement. Oh, yeah. Oh, so the cat never left the premise. The cat never went anywhere That's very cat like how hard did you look for it? I was looking for her pretty hard

You just kept on saying what's the cat's name fluffy? You just kept on saying fluffy. Yeah, that's it. I've hardly yeah Yeah, she's getting on the couch. Yeah, it never got off the couch Just yeah, it's a problem because it's a cat not a dog would come I looked everywhere the house, but if a cat wants to hide cats gonna hide and there's nothing you do about it It's true. So it I think it had gotten behind the washer dryer So it was but we found it my mom has moved in and everything is done Wow. Yeah Love it. Yeah, how was the trip up? It was the the retirement party. It was the retirement party was was pretty good There was everybody from anybody who's anybody in the Clay County courthouse scene was there it was you gave the speech

I gave a speech. Yeah. Wow. How'd that go? See you it wasn't your day My mom looked at me and said I'm gonna cry you talked for me. Oh, okay And I said I said alright, I said I said everybody she's not gonna be able to talk she loves everybody and thanks you for being here. Did you tear up? Not at all no no but yeah it was um I mean there were supervisors there RB Davis was there. RB Davis? RB Davis was there. Does he own an Arby's? No he does not. How is that how did he miss that? He's a supervisor. Yeah but he should have he should franchise in Arby's I Don't know who owns the Arby's in town. Okay, Arby Davis was there

Everybody was like where people like when he walked in were feeling like holy shit. Yeah, they were that's our beat They were as Baron Davis's dad Yeah, actually, huh? What actually his son's name is Baron Davis. Oh a Baron Huh? What actually his son's name is Baron Davis. Oh a Baron, yeah But she all moved in she's that she's all moved in she texted me this morning while I was taking my nap that That please help me the smoke alarms going off. I don't know what to do and I just let it go I assume she got up settled. She stopped texting me. So I assume that got it got settled or yeah It's one way or another or she's dead Or it's the carbon monoxide. Correct. Could be could be

Good. So so yeah, we're moved in and everything That's exciting, man. I'm so so awesome. It's awesome. It was a lot. It was a babysitter. I Wouldn't call it free Yeah, it's for itself. Yeah so so Things are going pretty good. What is she most excited for? She's never owned a house. Oh, so or never outright. I so so I just What still doesn't right? Okay? Are you gonna hold this over her head though if she ever acts up? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah watch her fuck around and die. Oh, that'll be so annoying. She's gonna fuck around and die I'm gonna be pissed you left her there all alone for the night my mother. Yeah, yeah, I did by Staunting just I think she she's got she she brought all her dogs. She got four dogs in the cat She feel like she adequately thanked you no, I don't you need oh how many thank-yous did you get I? Thank you. No, I don't you need. Oh, how many thank yous did you get? I Really get one any tears no tears that she had to leave no Yeah, tears that I've ripped her away from her life now. Did you put a big ribbon on the house? I did not that's kind of on you have a Carter. I'm gonna put a big ribbon on the house I don't know. She's been like look mom you like close her eyes and then like yeah

Oh, she's already seen it though. Yeah, there a surprise, it was a 14 hour drive to get here. But still, just for. Yeah, it would have been nice to have a big ribbon on the roof. The drive was okay, Kyle. I was, the first five hours were in daylight and it was fine, but then I got around Mayfield, Kentucky and a rainstorm set in on me and it was awful.

I had to pull over for about 30 minutes. U-verse hydroplaning. Yeah, well no, it was just, it was a terrible rainstorm. Couldn't see and I pulled over, I was about 30 minutes. U-verse hydroplaning. Yeah. Well, no, it was just a terrible rainstorm. I couldn't see, and I pulled over. I was already scared driving the U-Haul truck. But once I got out of Mayfield, Kentucky, I got into Illinois probably about 10 p.m., and after that, it's just driving through cornfields at night.

Were you driving a U-Haul truck or a trailer? Truck. I like those. Yeah. And it wasn't a big one. It was a little one. Yeah, yeah. Those are good. Yeah. I feel real efficient. It would get up to 75 or 80. So it was good. I drove one of those Chicago to New York when we moved. So that's a problem. These U-Haul trucks don't have. Fold school

radio. Fold school radio. Correct. So I was dependent on what I did find. 104.3 jams in Chicago was pretty good really yeah Yeah, and there was a country station out of Kentucky that was good Okay, yeah, then that's my update. I just did you snack well uh Well, we went to Anthony's on Thursday night. No, but on the on the job what snacks you get Andy caps no I got Pass got a bag of smart popcorn a rice crispy treat and some beef jerky Smart popcorn. Yeah, it's so the the white cheddar the white shit. We've had this fight before your fingers We've had this fight before we ranked it in the what the details

It shouldn't have been the white cheddar popcorn is is fucking incredible, but that's not a road road is we better go A handful of popcorn every every three seconds is just a great. Yeah, just a great finish in two minutes. Yeah, I'm still in a lot. I do the hot fries in a cup because I don't want my hands to get so smart. The fries drink the fries. Smart move, right? No.

Why? Why do you care about your hands getting that dirty? Oh, hot fries are there a mess. You get those on you. They're on you for like a week. You. You look your hand and they're so delicious. I like hand-licking. You're you're also a hand wiper every right side of your pants Pushing on the right side. You'd be actually a prime handkerchief guy. I would be I Can bring you on handkerchief guys aren't real. Yeah, I have I have plenty in my sock drawer at home All right, I'll bring you one you guys have a special Father's Day. Oh

Oh, I played golf with one of my kids and then Tommy got me a damn merino helmet and I didn't see Tommy outside of that and We went fishing. I caught one fish. Pretty good Father's Day. Mine was, uh... Mine was my son's birthday party. So that was kind of... took the shine on that one. It kind of caught you on that one. Wow. No, it wasn't even his birthday. Oh.

Yeah, that's Thursday. And then I did get a nice card from my daughter saying things she loved about me. One of them was, what does he always say? And it said, just put your shoes on. Which I do say, I do be saying that a lot. Got you there. Yeah.

Was it handmade? It looked to me like a teacher maybe wrote these. It's templated. I love it when he runs with me. People were saying she's lying because the runs with me, they don't understand how slow a four-year-old is. Yeah. Running with a four-year-old is, first of all,

it's not running with. It's chase. She likes chase. And chasing a four-year-old is just a slightly, it's not even a really fast walk. Albeit impressive. Yeah, it's like just kind of pumping your hands a little, and then it's like, oh my god.

Yeah, I could catch up to her in no time. then yes steak was my favorite meal. She got that right She got that right blue blue. I don't know if I've ever I don't I don't know if I have a favorite color I guess blue The Carolina blue you do be using blue a lot. Yeah Yeah, true. All right, so blue. Yeah, she nailed me on that one and then I think the age is nosy Yeah, I'm trying to pry a lot of talk in my house. What's the bottom right my dad is the best at playing with me? Oh playing oh, yeah, yeah, so that was a good one. It's a good one. Yeah the age thing Yeah, they talk a lot about how I'm 40 they bring it up almost every day mm-hmm

I had to break it to him the other day cuz they were like, you're bigger and taller than us because you're 40. I was like, I'm probably going to be bigger and taller than you my entire life. Forever. I was like, you guys aren't catching me. Be stronger, bigger, all that. Faster.

Yeah, maybe not faster. We'll see. But yeah, it was Good Father's Day. Good Father's Day. Steven, what did you get? You went to a Breers game. I went to a Brewers game, yeah. Fun time. Nice stadium. The playground outside, pretty cool. For you or your kids? For the kids. Oh, okay. It was a nice family day. So you liked the Brewers games? Yeah, I mean, I don't like the... I'm a Cubs fan, but it was uh, it was nice to see another stadium.

I'd been there once before but never with kids I think it's a nice. I think it's a nice awesome nice stadium. Yeah Doesn't have a soul yeah, but do I care no yeah, okay? They let you on the infield Yeah, I usually do that they do that Wrigley. That's cool on Sunday So does it let the kids run around the bases after oh? Yeah, I think it let the kids run around the bases after oh, yeah It's like first thousand We were like way back in line it

Flies the best line I've ever been in the best line Now I'm actually gonna back up Steven. I don't know about this specific line But there is no better feeling than being in a fast line. Yes, we know long We went from left center for no no lines better than any line. No lines better if you walk up Oh back to line. There's nothing there But if you get in a really long line and it just fucking flies and you're like, holy shit cuz it's the expectation of oh man I'm on this line. It's gonna suck what you have that moment of expect of sadness that oh god I'm stuck here. Yeah, but no line. You don't really earn earn it no line. No, I'm gonna show up no lines the best You would love Cuba they don't do lines. What are you don't cue? They just sit around and do the honor system

Oh, that's sick, but that's still a line It is we I don't like it either They say lines make places look, but you said I thought stressful I thought you're gonna say was like baked into the culture that if you go somewhere where there's a weight you just leave Cuz that's kind of how I operate. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I get intimidated by lines I just like I just don't want to wait. Yeah, mine suck. I'd rather eat at a shittier restaurant than right absolutely Yeah, if they're like oh, it's a 25 minute late like that could that basically is 20 I'll take I'll take an hour to drive the other side of town. Yeah, right another I need to be in motion

Yeah, yeah, um if lines like circled the venue, then I would rather do that What why if you could walk the whole time oh Why like if you could walk the whole time? Oh? A conga line conga line around I'll start the yeah That's good. See that taking off. Yeah, just like hop in this loop. We'll call you a little fun I think I might take fast line over no line No, you wouldn't if we were going to a roller coaster right now And we got there and there was a line of 38 people, but it moved fast It moved so fast

No line would be the best surprise of the day Wow no line. It's a what's the second fastest line? No, but no line implies that it's not fun. What's the what? It's not something that you want to do if there's no line. It's like going to an empty restaurant You don't want to go to an empty restaurant. It's a roller coaster. You don't know maybe there's someone like oh shit There's no line someone die, but if they could have just just loaded it up the whole line dissipated on I'd like to see one load one load Yeah, I'd like to see one there enough. You want to be one low deep when you go to a roller coaster Yeah, if it's fast Like a two-minute wait where you're just like all right a little anticipation instead of just being like oh just fucking get on there So the entrance onto the field was right around first base.

There were probably a thousand kids, a thousand kids in line. We were between we had to go all the way between left and center field. And we were there. I was like, fuck, this is going to be an hour. Maybe 12 minutes. Oh, that's incredible. Come on. Yeah, this I know is a spicy take, but this is a new low. This is not a new low. But what if we got there and they were first? There's no line. That's awesome. Imagine that right to the field guys. Just like no, I'll wait a little. Want to earn it a little bit. You're right. You don't like

those handouts. It's tiny, tiny bit of earning it. We agree that a long line is like that goes slow is torture line stink a short line that goes slow is worse than a long Actually, you're right. You're absolutely right. Oh my god short line where you can see what's going on You can see the end of the old lady in line at the grocery. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is bad Yes, I'm breaks. You're just like I'm stuck forever and then like the cashier like stops to do her own thing Yeah, task behind you like behind her like she'll mess with the files to get to the line. Yeah Wash their hands what files there's always they're always like Around doing a task right now. There's somebody waiting

Have you guys noticed an uptick in people being very mean to cashiers? I've been doing it. Yeah I just can't shake my hatred for them Yeah, you do hate I don't think I've noticed that no I've seen two Shouting at cashier incidents. Shouting? Shouting. What were the incidents?

So Jewel Oskod does a thing where they advertise the coupon. But I guess it's like an app or something. It's like a digital coupon. You can't, you don't automatically. It's attached to your phone number, right? Yeah. I don't even think it's like a store card situation.

Yeah. Like you don't automatically get it by being a store card situation. Yeah, like you don't automatically get it by being a jewel member. Correct, correct. And so I have seen it twice, and I don't know whether to step in or... That's so... Step in.

Step in, why would you ever think to do that? I feel like the Venn diagram of coupon people and being mean to cashiers is one big circle. Big over that. If you're a coupon person, if you're any type of deal person, you're going to be rude to people. Nasty.

Yeah, nasty. Like, the deal hunters in the world are just their homeowner association presidents. They're, you know. I have never used a coupon. They're the people at the front of the line at a delayed flight being like, well, what do you mean?

Yeah. It's that breed of person. And they're wearing like an IZOD polo. Yep. You don't need this deal. Yep. You have an IZOD polo. You usually got like a frumpy wife.

IZOD quarter zip, earth tone. Frumpy wife, shithead kid, and they're just rolling around just causing havoc everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, those people suck. Frumpy. When I worked concessions, the concessions, we would get it bad all the time. I think because people, they're a little bit drunk already and then they order a couple things and then when they get the price tag, they're like $57 for two beers or whatever,

people would flip out on the cashier. I'm like, the cashier doesn't set the price, it's not our fault, like please don't flip out and I was like, but people were always flipping out. Beer prices are just tough. I moved that piss me off yesterday. There was like two groups in front of me. There was a group of four girls

that were in line to get coffee and they go to the cashier, do a fake out, and move slightly to the left to look at the display Oh or what they want but and then there's another girl in front of me And then she goes and then once they decided what they wanted they immediately cut back in front of me Can't do that you're looking still yeah, you're still shopping, but I took it like a bitch Some of those lines now are built for looking Like the lines at Dix now are so built for looking

And they like weave in and out they got like candy and shit product all try to get you on all the last things Yeah, we officially need like a pickup only line to why am I waiting in line? Why do I need a bag of Doritos that a sporting goods? I usually get them though. I'll always get the big Mini starburst especially my jam Yeah, I believe that Yeah I'll get the starburst, the mini starburst. You too, especially. My jam. Yeah, I believe that. You want to say something to me today? Because I worked out this morning and I did not get a burrito.

What did you get? Handheld enchilada? I didn't eat anything this morning. You were eating actually. You had two cones. I had two cones. That's different. That's separate.

It doesn't count. That's cones. Have you gained weight Doesn't count. That's cones. Have you gained weight since? Oh yeah. Yeah? Oh yeah. Like you've seen the number or? Yeah.

Four or five pounds. I still only had the one cone. Really? Yeah. You've gained five pounds in two weeks? Yeah. How many calories do you think a cone is? Your average cone.

I don't know. Rather not know. No idea. Don't wanna think about that shit. Probably not much. But I also, I started lifting again so I'm just telling myself I gained the weight cuz it's muscle It's gotta be it's gotta be muscle return to the ice trick that yeah, right right. Yeah, I'm just stronger Okay, what did you get for the beef I am stronger KB?

You do look stronger. You don't think I'm stronger. Yeah I am stronger, KB. You do look stronger. You don't think I'm stronger? Yeah. Your bulk has some poof. I'll let you know when I'm all the way back strength-wise, and we could do a strength test. OK.

That fair? Yeah, well, I'd love a strength test. OK. I would love a good old-fashioned strength test. Just throwing me heavy shit. Throwing you heavy shit? Putting heavy shit over my head. That's just man.

Yeah, that's real strength Whatever you want you come up with the strength test, okay? three pull-ups Okay, well, that's impossible I'd like to see like a do three pull-ups right now adrenaline. I got three pull-ups in you Well, we got a pull-up machine over there Dan be careful Yeah, I think I'm you think I'm at two

I think your adrenaline should get you the third pull-ups are impossible. Yeah, treat yourself to an ice cream cone if you get it Like could he lift a car off someone if he knew that too he says yes Depending on that strength to me. Can you have a crazy adrenaline strength? Could he flip the ice cream machine? How does that happen? This walk seems tentative? Yeah, he's trying to think about oh, can he be is he gonna hurt himself? He's gonna do that. Yeah. Oh no do this It's not easier Hands forward. I think he's got it. He looks thin too. Can any of you besides Kyle do a pull-up? I could do one. I can't do two.

I suck at pull ups. We have long arms. One. Well why don't you say that to me? One and a half. But you said three! The whole thing was about three! Yeah.

Another win for Big Cat. I told you I could do half of what you said I could do. I did not have to. Alright. So, do you attain? Strong. I knew I had to me for knowing my own strength how do you get better at pull-ups if you can't do pull-ups oh yeah just hang That's what I've never assisted pull-ups the knee pad Too much like a bitch or the band assisted the rubber band thingy that goes around your foot That's just gonna pop up hit me in the nuts nuts Yeah, that'll hit in the nuts. I

Never understood that I think you do the assisted. She's got to do this. She's gonna bite the bullet. Yeah, maybe All right, I got a new new goal three yeah, you're already two-thirds there that last one was never happening That second one Second one felt okay. How many do you have, Kyle? 20. 11. I think I have 20, yeah.

Wow. Hard, man. Bulbs are hard. It helps when you're light. Pfft. Ha ha ha. Street big shot. I'm at like petite.

I'm at like pettite. It helps when you're petite. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. You and big. I'm at, like, peteet. That was when you were peteet. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. You're right about that. You don't want to be light and peteet. No. You probably never have been. Damn, Kyle.

You've never been tiny. No, tiny, no. Yeah. Tiny. I think all men should experience being tiny. It is funny that I don't. I'm sure Brandon and Titus, you guys have had this, where like, do you remember like the first time

where it was like, oh yeah, they're like short people, like I do get that they're probably angry. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I didn't dawn on me till probably in my 20s where I'm like, oh yeah, I guess it probably would suck to not be tall obviously Yeah, just never so pit it never dawned on me for all the longest time

Yeah, like if you're tall you were just always tall you're walking into every social situation with two strikes right and I took it for granted That I'm I walk in every social situation. I was like damn I never I didn't realize I was tall till I was out of college Yeah, cuz I played basketball. You're right. Oh, right. I was yeah, I remember One of my friends gave me a pep talk for like the dating pool and they were like you'll be fine You're a tall man. And I was like am I tall you're six fucking four. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I do yeah the feeling of being on a basketball team when you're one of the smaller guys I do get it a little bit. Yeah Well, yeah, you and Kyle are pretty much nice to be taller

It's pretty this this sucks that everybody's five inches taller than me But I do I do suffer from a tall privilege where I just didn't I never never thought about myself in your shoes But yeah airplanes couldn't fit. Yeah airplay showers and hotels Airplanes couldn't fit. Yeah airplay showers and hotels Bed some what I wouldn't give ouches what I wouldn't give man. Yeah, you like a love seat You is like a bed for you. Yeah, you can kind of curl up nice and easy be bad for everybody though You'd be a little spoon right and like you're probably coming fast because you're getting with better-looking women, right? I don't get to enjoy sex. Over so fast.

Right. Like the shorter guys can last forever. Forever. Right. What, that was my wee brother. Yeah. You guys really have it made. I wish I was shorter, man.

Oh my God. If I was Kyle's size, I was sure man. Oh my god if I was Kyle sighs I could fuck forever Hours on it you like being in big crowds like you can't You can't see Like oh, I'm trying to meet up with someone They're just lost forever Brandon you size dudes up that are oh, yeah Like if a guy was six six walked in would that make you stand up a little straighter correct? Yeah and they're just lost forever. Brandon, you size dudes up that are... Oh, yeah. Like if a guy was 6'6", walked in,

would that make you stand up a little straighter? Correct, yeah. Yeah, if I go to a room, or used to when college, go to a bar or a club, I'd know immediately how many... Do I have everybody here? Am I taller than everybody, or is there one guy I gotta worry about?

And you know how many's in the room. You know how many's around you. Were you always a big boy? No, I grew between sophomore and junior year, like six inches. I was always just average and then I shot. And then I wasn't big, I was a skinny freak. I was just like wire thin.

Chet. Yeah, I was just like wait. I was like wire thin shit Yeah, I was just I was fucking disgusting to look at told Yeah, like age 24 when I finally started filling out me and Kyle were talking the obligations of being like a big son You're always your dad's big son. It has to be really tough. Yeah, cuz he's expecting so much of his big son. Oh, yeah You were a big son big. I was big son big I was big son I was big son that that has to be the most pressure out of it is my big son pressures of a big son so the big son your dad is the coach yeah yeah and he's like he's parading you around so yeah, yeah big son Look how big this boy is Slapping you on the back too bad huh?

Size 11 shoes already no signs of stopping Damn Wait so Kate, what'd you get beef? Oh handjob? That's beautiful. Not to completion, though, right? No, very dry. Just start them off. I'll start you off.

I'm a squeezer. Carolina squeezer. Nice, very nice. Yeah. Yeah. I knew it was a hot take. I knew it was a hot take. I had no shit.

Listen, sometimes you gotta be bold. A short line that goes long for a percent of people. It's like a long line. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not take. I had no shit. Listen, sometimes you gotta be bold.

A short line that goes long for a percent of people. It's like a love wait. I would rather be in a line of 45 people that takes five minutes than be in a line of two people that takes ten minutes. Well, yeah. That's a time, but... Agreed. The mental anguish you get from being 46 in line is already gonna Yeah, but when that goes then the rush should go and fast. That's the craziest. That's a rush

That's a thrill imagine turn in the corner and nobody's in line in front of you. You'll you'll remember this all your days Initially happy you're confused Operating a different plane than I do if I show up and there's not a line I think oh lucky me. If I'm showing to the raging bull at six flags and see no line I'm like is this down? Like what's going on? I say I'm gonna ride it again. Is it down? Is there a problem? You guys are sheep. You guys are sheep. Be your own leader.

Yeah I want to, well no I want to be on something that other people want to also be on. That's what I Yeah There is a bar near my house where on Sundays at four they open like every week They have a different restaurant come through It's like a hipster trendy bar or whatever and every Sunday starting around three the line It's snakes like three city blocks for people to get into a Sunday afternoon Crazy and it's like but they're all dry it's like, they want to be in the line.

They're all mixing and mingling, like they want to be seen. It's like, some people like a line. I think like Franklin Barbecue in Texas, when I went there that one time, the people like turned that into an event where they like tailgate in line. A line? Yeah.

They bring their lawn chairs and coolers. People do that at the Jersey Shore and they're waiting to get into the seafood place. They bring coolers and it's like social. Making the line fun. You make the lines fun. Not for me. Fun lines would be a company.

Similarly, similar line of thinking. I didn't even mean to do that. I will take the back roads if it takes 45 minutes versus the interstate if it takes 30. The map says like, here's your route, it'll take 30 minutes, there's just a 19 minute slow down right here. I'm like, fuck that, I'll just stop at every stoplight

along the way, even if it takes longer. Moving is way better. Oh, I'm the opposite, I'll take way longer. I'll take whatever one has the less amount of turns. Really? I just like being on a road and being like, that's the road you're on. And then you just get off it and you're there I

like the back road driving to Danny yeah, I think Danny we think about that What you think about that one? Got my word counting already. Danny, how was the bachelor party? I saw you got invaded by raccoons. What? Yeah, multiple raccoons. You're into that.

Yeah. Right? Amber. You're into raccoons? Were you Danny Smokes or Danny Conrad? Danny Conrad by daytime. Oh, then the Sockie. Oh, shit.

Sockie came up. I saw the Sockie. Yeah, I did a little private hibachi Friday, golf Saturday, hit the Saki. Oh, shit. Saki came up. I saw the Saki. Yeah, did a little private hibachi Friday, golf Saturday, hit the bars, it was good, we laughed, we cried. Where was it, was it in town? You cried. New Buffalo, Michigan. Oh, nice.

Little beach town. Yeah. Is that maybe two quaint? Cause I've seen videos and I'm tempted. New Buffalo's nice, I like New Buffalo. I went there last summer. What would two quaint feel like? Yeah. Just like one of those places, those beach towns with like one shop. No, it's got more than that. Maybe two shops. I've Two Quainted before and it sucks. Yeah. I'm

always like, would you get in trouble for being too drunk in this town? Like, can you be too drunk in a town? Is New Buffalo like- No, New Buffalo is not too drunk. You can't go running around with a cigarette or could you? It's good because it's not like too much of a hot spot yet either. It's not like a's good because it's not like too much of a hotspot yet Either it's not like a destination. What's so now be overcrowded. It's got like a few restaurants Yeah, a couple bars a little town. Yeah You Buffalo's nice. I'm going to Traverse City. Oh a couple weeks nice ever heard of it. Yeah Yeah, what are you going for so it's not good. No you would immediately

Ever heard of it? Yeah. Yeah, what are you going for so it's not good? Oh you would immediately Traverse city fine sucks. No, it's good cancel it He said all you need to say you can't go new buff said it by not saying it What are you going for? for fun family oh Wait for anyone been there work. Oh, I'm gonna have this up in my head very much Traverse is nice. It's beautiful great golf courses great golf course wonderful place for someone who doesn't call yeah Okay, yeah It's kind of bullshit like there because I'm not really a golfer either like a lot of the adult

Vacation places like oh incredible golf courses like what the fuck Am I do with that? By me choosing not to golf. It's like me signing off. I'm never gonna hang out with my friends again Yeah, cuz that's all they do I've given up on my alright I'm just never hanging with my friends ever again ever. I'm golfing with a mystery number on Saturday mystery number Like a word for a woman? I got a text. Prostitute? Number? I got a text from somebody that's a member of my club

the other day. He said, hey, you want to play tomorrow? And I said, and I just did what I always do. I was like, I can't play tomorrow. I'm not going to be in town. Ask me again next week. And he said, all right, got you for next week. And I get a notification on my phone. Your tee time for next Saturday is set up. So I'm playing with three guys. I know none of them. How do they get your number? Is it possible you do know them? You just don't save numbers?

I don't save numbers. That would be a high risk. You're going to show up, and it's going to be a guy you've talked to a lot. What has happened here is I've met this person one time at the club, exchanged numbers. I thought it was AssFuckAJ. That would be amazing. It's not ass fuck AJ

because the AJ's not the catchiest of the nicknames. It's not listed. The four names AJ is not one of the names and an A is not one of the names. Do you have him saved as ass fuck AJ? No I don't have him saved as anything at all but I was at my club the other day and I was getting lessons and I often wonder, you know, do they pay attention to anything? And the guy was like, yeah, just call me, I'll give you lessons. And I said, okay, what's your name? He said, well, it's not Assfuck AJ. Oh! But what was his name? Nope. So I'm playing golf for the mystery on Saturday at 9 a.m. And I don't know who it is. That's kind of that's really exciting Yeah, yeah mince just rolls in

Thank you, thank you What you do with it? Oh Just you're gonna put it just I'm just gonna have it. Have you looked at it since you got it? I've looked at it multiple times. Is your other stuff getting dusty? Kyle. If you can see in the background there, it's just boxes. My basement is now boxes.

And posters that are not on the wall. It's bad. Just take it over to mama's house. Decorate her house with some memorabilia. Get a basement. This is pretty sad, but me and my wife were in her house. My wife was cleaning it last week

for it to get ready for her to come in. She says, we can use this house as storage. Yeah. And all I'm going to do is clean out my garage because my garage is too messy. I'm just going to put the mess in Mama's house. Yeah. Move the mess. Yeah. I'm just going to move the mess to her house and I'm very excited about it. Do you think we could eat a helmet?

You can't eat a helmet. Is that a mini helmet? No, that's a helmet. That's a helmet. could eat a helmet? Hmm. You can't eat a helmet. Is that a mini helmet? No, that's a helmet. Is that a dare? That's a helmet. Is that a dare? You're not eating that.

That helmet's not coming to this office, so you're not going to eat that helmet. Oh, imagine using that for the ice cream. Oh, good call. Signed Dan Marina on a Sunday. I'll tell you what, if you could finish an entire helmet, that helmet of ice cream, I would allow that to happen. on that helmet of ice cream of a full man helmet accept that challenge yeah I'll do it twice great can I do toppings yeah okay it's great yeah do it one yak one regular time the act you think you could

eat a chin strap in four hours no, no chance. He if you had Donnie To cook something up for you. Yeah, I'm of the firm belief you grate something and put it in mashed potatoes I could have a tell he's so talented. Yeah Yes, he's so talented. He's so tall lasagna. My god. You guys see the fake spider. Oh, yeah I saw you might need to hire You guys see the fake spider. Oh, yeah, I saw you might need to hire This was jarring this is more spider than spider We're gonna have to hire Mexican spider just to have this also just goes around here. There's like a double of everyone

What is it Iran Iran, yeah Iran yes. Arana is spider in Spanish? That's even a better name. Quigspost. Yeah, here it is. Spider! Yo, what's up, spider? No way. Shut up. You're not spider.

Wait, there's spider. How crazy is that? Spider. That's a Mexican spider. That guy is spider. What? Yo, what's up, spider? That's, yeah. And that's how spider would react.

Yeah. And how he would dress. Same shades. Oh my god. They were separated at birth. That's crazy. They have the helmet on over the hat, over with headphones. They have it.

What is he? Who is he? is he a competitor? We need the Mexican spider he is a little bit better spider No, I'll probably take it well, no, thank you Yo, we're all with me just a second ago What you bailed out? No one's no one said he was better than our spider. No, that was all you Credit where it's due to whom you know said it. All right I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not got to get her a job. We got to get her a job.

I don't know what, if you're a lawyer in northern Chicago suburbs and you need a secretary, my 68-year-old southern mother will do it for you. That's a great, great gig. Yeah. Get her out in the community, maybe? Maybe. She's too old to be a whore I think there's

some people that are she got at least one yeah I don't think so literally gunpire or something oh that'd be awesome what about that I don't know they respect her she's very short hmm yeah but she is I don't know her lifeguard. Southern voice. Lifeguard. Oh yeah, yeah. What's she gonna save? With those? She doesn't need the tube. What, you're talking about flotation?

Yeah, yeah. People don't respect short umpires? Oh no. Not as much as they respect all ones. Why? I don't know. She's severe. She's like five two.

Same. Well, at least she has one cat to keep her company. She has four dogs and a cat. They all get along. At least she has one cat. Yeah. Yeah. A bassin houndound a golden doodle a pug and a mutt that's good combo the other neighbors had to have when they saw your yeah they asked getting out of the u-haul I don't know oh no I don't know what they're what they're going through right now but like if you ring her doorbells like the hey Arnold it's a lot stampede you it is a lot, but she used to have like six or seven then they died

Now she's down to four and they're old so they'll die Shortly, you'll probably want more right bass. Yeah Basset hounds a tank man. He's huge. I think those are my favorite dogs basset hounds. Yeah, I love a good basset hound big ears Blow to the ground. So what do you have right now? A rabbit? And four guinea pigs. Four guinea pigs? You have four guinea pigs? Two parakeets.

Yes. The two guinea pigs. This is too many animals. No dogs? Do you have a dog, Ray? Sam. What's stopping them from procre- So you have baby guinea pigs? Baby guinea pigs. Are they cute? They immediately became adult guinea pigs.

They grow up fat? I've never seen anything like it the day they were born They were just walking around and they were adults in like a week. It didn't take long at all They were walking around the day they were the day they were born that we walked in one day I talked to my boy about hey the guinea pigs aren't really working out. They haven't they haven't assimilated to us They're still nervous. They hide. And I said, we're going to take them back to the pet store. And he said, OK, yeah, I get that. And we literally go in there, and instead of the two guinea pigs, there are four. There are two guinea pigs and two very small guinea pigs. And within like a week, there are four

adult guinea pigs. I could see like Tommy pulling a Stewie Griffin and just cloning them behind your back. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. So wait, what's stopping them from doing it again? So I don't know because I made sure when they gave us the two guinea pigs just give us two girls so they either misgendered them or Gave us a pregnant guinea pig okay, and gave us one that was just pregnant and so I don't know which one it was so I'm Wagering that it is it is just girls. girls well I have a question yeah what if these two

are boys right and they impregnate the mother their own mothers oh you got some Adam and Eve real goofball yeah gerbils I I've clearly said guinea pigs the entire time maybe like a hundred times yeah the word I've said the most in this conversation. There's really no difference, so I'm going to back up here. Anything that's hamster, mouse adjacent, those are all the same. Guinea pigs are the biggest variety of these things, and they're clearly on their own.

Chupacabra. Capybara. Those are not house pets. Thank you, Nick. Those are not house pet. Thank you, Nick You knew what I was saying Chupacabra doesn't exist right maybe she's to say Chupacabras just like Mexican Sasquatch. It's weirder. It's like a four-legged Mexican Sasquatch a dog I want hopefully they find a Mexican Sasquatch down there. Yeah Mexican says He doesn't want to do anything I want hopefully they find a Mexican Sasquatch down there. Yeah Mexican Sas

He doesn't want to do anything He almost looks like an aquatic animal there sucker Wow coat sucker Chupa means sex vampirism Goat sucker Chupa means sucks. Vampirism. The old goat sucker. That's just. That doesn't look that bad.

No, it doesn't at all. So they just saw like a wild dog? Pretty much. I got a thing. I met Brandon Walker. Oh, yeah. We face swapped him. Yeah, I didn't like that one.

It was hard to look at. In fact to anybody who's responded to me with the Sway swap says just gotten blocked. I'm not looking at that day. That's fair Yeah, I I have been talking to him on here's the thing I've been talking to him on don't hit me Instagram and everything and set it up and go in you know He's listed six seven. We're about the same height but he's nice six, seven. We're about the same height. But he's a nice guy from Texas. And I don't know who to talk to about getting us some NIL shirts made or whatever we're gonna do.

We're gonna make some shirts. And his name is Brandon Walker, right? And my name is what? Brandon Walker. Thomas Walker. Brandon Walker. Thomas Brandon Walker. And I said, hey, you got an agent or something

that we can do this business with? He said, yeah. And his agent's name is Brandon Thomas. What? Thomas and I said I said hey you got an agent or something that I wouldn't do this business with he said yeah And his agent's name is Brandon Thomas What whoa this whole world is crazy is it not? Oh, this world crazy Told him I didn't even say anything because I figured you know your Fucking way it's different. It's fucking crazy. It doesn't really it doesn't really mean anything cuz you're Thomas Brandon What you bright but isn't it crazy that the names are all the same? No, actually none of the three names are the same My name is Brandon Walker. My name is Thomas Brandon Walker

I've gone by his name's Brandon Walker his agency is Brandon his middle name is Thomas Who you guys are all just sharing names putting it in different spots. I made that part up Yeah, you made that part up. Yeah, none of the three names are actually Brandon Walker and Brandon Walker are very similar because they're the same I I go by Brandon Walker I've been Brandon Walker my whole life. How did you address him when you met him? I said Brandon Walker He say be wall say no. I said Brandon Walker. Hey Brandon point at him said Brandon Walker How was the initial tap? Good one, it was good. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. And we took multiple rounds of pictures for that one. He dunk on you?

No, we didn't play basketball against each other. But we took the picture, and then we were looking at it together, and I noticed he was wearing slides. And I said, we can't look tough in slides. We had to put his basketball shoes on. Wait, you made him go put different shoes on? I gave him the option. I said, hey, you're wearing slides here. Do you want to put that out? He said no, let me put my shoes on

Good look yeah, you're looking out yeah We got to get him up here. We do is he happy down there is he have a good place real please You have an apartment with a pool. Yeah, he's set up set up real good got a good place What's he doing for fun down there? Uh most of the apartments have pools down there. Yeah, I don't know He said he said he's just hanging out just chilling Yeah, this is a great time I don't know. I have a girlfriend or what didn't ask I assume he does Brandon Walker and starfall that guy's getting pussy that how it works one woman

Yeah, multiple pussies. Do you that how it works? Like one woman? Yeah. Multiple pussies, probably. Do you think he'll let you share? A woman? I don't know that that would be good for either of us. Why not? 46-year-old white man, 22-year-old black man sharing the same piece. Sounds like a cool movie.

Yeah. Not a good movie. Not one you'd want to watch. He goes on, Because unlike brassers White men can't hump. Oh That's good, then you yeah, you're hustling them. I can't All right, I'm with him This guy can't hump at all

Fine I'll let you fucker it's clear you can't huh yeah, I put some money on it White man can't hump there. Oh holy shit it exists Wow what year It was right there up a tee for them. Is it true Brandon, Wesley Snipes and Whiteman can't jump was just atrocious at basketball? Terrible. Yeah. Not only that.

Teach him how to play. Well he couldn't hardly dribble, he was terrible. And then in major league, he can't run fast, so all of his running scenes are shot in slow motion. Oh, I didn't know that. To make it seem like he can run fast. So he just sucks as an athlete? I don't know because he looks like the most athletic dude of all time.

What would give that away? And then all the, well his muscles and his whatnots. But in all his athletic movies he can't be an athlete. He refused to open his eyes in the movie Blade so they had a CGI his eyes open. Wait, wait. Yeah it looks horrible. Why did he refuse to open his eyes? like opening his eyes? Yeah, I guess he's pretty tough to work with I Love just yelling

Guys he imprisoned he was he was Maybe yeah Yeah, you didn't want to open his eyes that there's't he a how often is he in the movie? He's the main character He would yeah, does eyes closed a lot of the times. He was just not be so in a diva. That's so funny That's some that's some like five-year-old. Yeah, okay fine. I don't my eyes Not doing it What a power move yeah All right, I'll show up, but I'm not gonna have my eyes open

I'll do everything you ask just with my eyes closed not doing it Did you guys talk about Stephen a Smith the solitaire we did yeah, yeah Kind of had a good game going Did he I didn't look that close I I think My question was defending him, but like if you got a good game going, but why was he so defensive? What why why don't you just be like yeah, I was playing solitaire. Yeah, I don't know but in this era of phones It's all here really slow thing It's an old person thing My mom plays a lot of solitaire. She's a Mac book, and I don't think she's... I think she's used, like,.05% of its capability.

I thought Solitaire was less than. Yeah. Just Solitaire. Solitaire had its run backwards. Solitaire and e-mail. That's it. It was the best game that could be on a computer. No, no. No, Minesweeper. Ski-free. Ski-free. Yeah. I forgot about ski-free.

I thought about getting a tattoo of the skier and then, like, the Yeti way up here on my arm. The funniest part about this whole controversy is like so he Got caught with the picture then was like yeah, that's me. I did it during timeouts Yeah, it's like no. Here's a video and but the whole thing was Bailey Carlin probably came up with this tweet. Oh that was baby. Yeah Yeah, and he got him caught into it even deeper. He got community noted. Damn. He got community noted on a solitaire tweet.

It seems he was lying. He's lying. He's lying. Oh, they're getting like, jeep? What game was this, the Pacers? It's the NBA Finals. NBA Finals, yeah. A pivotal game in the NBA Finals.

Yeah. All right, well, sports people might be a little burned out at this point. Yeah, right. This isn't long. No, it's not one hitting live it's not a problem unless you're steven a who like Demands to be thinks he's always right and also he does fuck up like little things

Okay, but like if you a step like I fuck up shit all the time, but I also am like Yeah, there's a chance. I could be playing like playing solitaire. I'm playing eight-bit football Game on like what do you want me? What do you want from me? Got a good dynasty go. He's also someone that anytime an athlete makes any mistake, right? It makes it me a lot of it and he jumps how can you fuck that up in that spot, right? Yeah In all he had to do if he had just like not line just said yeah I was I had like an unreal game going I think that would have taken all the windows. Yeah, exactly. That's why I don't know why didn't just say that

Yeah, the people hold him to any like behavioral standards. They tried to drive is slippery Yeah, he's well the problem is he he's his ratings are always he's like carries ESPN Yeah, then they tried this this was a Bailey Carlin tweet for sure I don't even really get it. He's watching the game on his phone You can't screenshot the games in front of him can't screenshot the game when you're watching. Yeah. Oh, yeah poorly formatted It will always blackout had no idea. Yeah Got that feature. Yeah, so this huge that I'm watching the game on my phone doesn't work when... It's right there.

It's right there. Right. Well, I think that was a joke. That was a joke. But it wasn't... It made no sense. It wasn't well done, is what I'm trying to convey. It's a bad joke.

It's a bad joke. Has he addressed it at all? Just those tweets. Yeah, just that. I don't know if he addressed it today. Did you see what happened to him that morning, too? No. He was on whatever show it was.

I guess it was First Take. And he had his laptop open. And I guess he got a text. And you could see part of it in the top right. And Molly Kerim was like, Stephen A, close your computer. We can see your text. And he was like, no, I'm not closing my computer. He's like, I'm trying to protect you.

Please, we can all see your screen. And later. Wait. What was what was the text? I don't think it was anything salacious, but like she didn't want anything potentially Getting out like that foreshadowing Foreshadowing because we all saw a screen. Yeah, that's right symbolism very true Steven little little bit short on the prep sheet today. What happened? I wanted to get it all on one because we had one. But so then the other suffers. I guess so technically. Damn. No, not technically. It's your worst other in a while. The worst other. I don't

think so at all. I think there's some other other do you like Bloody Mary's is like some people don't fuck with them. I don't. I don't. Took me a long time. Took a long time, but now I love them. Uncle Donny. Your whole prep sheet is, do you like Bloody Mary's? How do you feel about ginger shots? What's that?

That's a piss poor prep sheet. Is it a good flavor, a bad flavor? What is the worst flavor? And then I think the first talking point is a good conversation starter too. What is one more expensive luxury that you simply will never live without again? started to what is one more expensive luxury that you simply will never live without again mmm

expensive luxury uh i would say above and beyond yes it doesn't have to be like you know whatever first class is first class i was gonna say first class it has the biggest jump i'd just rather not fly yeah oh i don't do first class every time at all but about every three months I have someone come in and deep clean my house. Yeah, my mom would die That's a terrific investment. It's a great good investment smart, but it's something that growing up. I never thought Washing folds in New York City were awesome. Yes getting that log of perfectly so Yeah, did you guys see that a billionaire in India died swallowing a bee no what on purpose There's a story Prince William was apparently like friends with them really Was it like in a soda candy accidentally or he was playing polo?

And he's all it'll be while playing yeah,, he's mouth open. That's kind of on him Insane story did the be just sting everything on the way down. He's probably allergic Soon job Thursday That's a nightmare What a terrible way to go if you're brutal and triggered a heart attack Man Why is the picture of Prince William? if you're brutal and triggered a heart attack. Billionaire? Man. Why is the picture of Prince William? Yeah, I was going to say being a billionaire

and your death billing is someone else's friend. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, to get people to think about it. Yeah. I feel like if I swallowed a bee, it'd be like, Dave Portnoy employee. Swallows bee. I don't think you'd die, though. I think you could swallow a bee, it'd be like, Dave Portnoy employee. That swallows a bee.

I don't think you'd die, though. I think you could swallow a lot of bees. You think? Yeah. I'd get pretty puffy. Kind of pussy to die from a bee. Someone had to say it. You're going to go the most embarrassing way I know it.

I know it, like during a haircut. Going to say it. They're gonna snip. It's a light nick on my ear. Stunned. Bleed out. Imagine, yeah, if I bleed out with like the least amount of blood giving up. Yeah, right.

Something. And I'm gonna, oh, I need it. You guys are gonna get to laugh. Like a barely detectable amount of blood and you bleed blood out you take a single B killing a man is is like man Your instant reaction is and how and like what yeah like just tough it out. What a story that be out Yeah, that be now. You're still alive billionaire. How did nobody there have a I think it's fishy Yeah, something. Yeah. Little remote control bee.

Ohhhh. Was it a bomb? Cyanide bee. After the bees went into a shot cause of severe allergic...oh so he was allergic to bees. But then where was his EpiPen? That's what I'm saying, nobody there had an EpiPen? That's crazy.

The government is working on bug drones no oh boy gonna get us all Beastings are staying inside the mouth nose and throat can be life-threatening because it causes internal swelling and breathing problems that sucks But his was heart attack Huh, yeah crazy. I wouldn't have done that you guys ever are freaked out seeing bumblebees out in the wild No bumblebees are nothing. I love bumblebees. I know this they they are they are intimidating even even though You know they're not gonna do anything. They're uncomfortable to be around because the big ones that follow you're they're territorial I'll say it. I think bees all bees are pussies. I'm not Getting stung by bees sucks. It's for like a second. I mean though and also I jump from be a wasp

Wasp I I wasp and hornets did not say anything about them They jump from be to wasp those guys are fuckers because they don't make honey or anything right they're just point These come on what does it be? Also, they don't even they don't even want a stingy. They die. Yeah, they die if they sting. It's a suicide mission, so you just don't piss them off. They say that, but then they're just hanging around you for way too long. Like that. Kill it.

You kill it with your hands? Yeah, I'll kill it with my hands. You ain't killing no goddamn bee with your hands. You ain't killing no motherfucking be with You on the caffeine No motherfucking hands How are you feeling this week with the fact that you got to stay late a couple times? I'm fine.

It's a big week. And we're getting to the summer and we got the week off coming up, so we always got to cram a little thing, some stuff. And this is my week. We got the dozen right here in front of us. What if you lose? Then it'll suck, but I'd rather lose here than have to fly my ass to Boston and lose there again.

But that's what's going to happen. I know. I know. I know how this goes. I dread this every single year, if I'm to get up on that stage and lose. But whatever, we'll get through it. Set looks good. I don't know why, how much did those animations cost us?

And why is the Yak animation not moving in the Rider? They move, the Yak will move in a minute. they don't move the whole time the yak is due next to move what does the yak do when you'll move it he'll he makes a muscle why is the yak so muscular nothing screams trivia nerds like the beach he's gonna move any minute now that yeah I haven't seen a move that motherfuckers gonna move a problem and yeah the muscle guys oh and now the riders turn to move after the yak moves Wow that's a lot of muscle all right

there you go oh they're doing throwing a can he's throwing a can haha he's not throwing it he's holding it I think now they're done moving for a while I got Frank guy eats a shirt yeah what do was my guy do I were probably loses to Kirk probably there it is that's it right there it's double elimination this year Yeah There it is the experts the writers the yaks the ziti's I'm gonna predict the final four of experts

team minahan ziti and then The third is gonna come from the booze ponies yak or Frankin hmm You're wild for that. Wild prediction. Wild prediction. What is this? Wild. Zach, Stephen Shae gave, actually I'm gonna say his worst prep sheet other

of all time. So can you just come up with a few questions? Thought starters for us? I can do that for you. Yeah, just sit, you can sit and do it and just let us know when you're ready. Okay. All right, no, no, you can sit right there.

Yeah, just whenever you have one, I guess. Yeah, whenever you have one, just lay it on us. His prep sheet today was, do you like Bloody Marys and how do you feel about ginger shots? That's an F-minus. There were dovetails off of those. Really, it was drink themed. Is ginger a good or a bad flavor?

What is the worst flavor? Yeah. Poop. I never understood cold soup with vodka. That's, oh, is that what you're saying? Bloody marriage. I never really understood that. That's good, yeah. All right, so come up with a couple.

Okay, I can do that for you. All right. And now we wait. Poopify got his scooter stolen. Oh yeah. Oh, tragedy. A tragedy. He's trying to find it, he's trying to go.

It's in our garage. Yeah, no, he's got the tracker on it Oh, he does. He went to the house. I think what? Yeah, oh shit. He said they couldn't figure out it was like in four houses You couldn't figure out which one and he's he's gonna maybe go back. I think I would just let that go Yeah, I think you cut your loss. I think you gotta let it go He said that something about his mom said the insurance won't give a claim on it How expensive was rise to get it back? I don't know I

Don't know I feel like it would eat away if I knew where it was it's like the principal thing of what he'd win Yeah, would you uh brawl for your scooter back? No if someone was like I would strongly word be like can I have my scooter? Yeah, just brawl me first if I could guarantee it was just a fight I would but the no way if the guns hiding behind the wall like I imagine dying over a scooter Would worse than it be worse than a B. Oh, so you go to the person's house, and they're like I'm not giving it back Yeah, do you have it? What's next all right? It was worth a shot We've got a you got a cop said well the cops probably don't care. They're a little busy Worth a shot. We got it. You got a cop said well the cops probably don't care. They're a little busy

He said the cops like can't do anything about it I don't know he said the cops can't do anything about it is what he kept saying in his videos He said like he's he's been with the police and they like can't do anything about it and unless like he Makes an attempt to get it back or something. Oh god The way they said it seemed like they were like daring him to fight this guy. He's got a call. I saw I saw this the other day. The some guy. Had an Airbnb and the guy stole his PS5, he just called him up. He's like, hey, you stole my PS5. And then I was like, no, I didn't.

And then he just kept on hitting him with facts. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. I did. I said to you, TJ, but that's what he's got to do. He's got to have that conversation He's like dude I can see it in your house right now and then eventually the person is gonna be so embarrassed They're just gonna give it up He has to camp out a little I feel like Well another reason I'm calling for is regarding the item that we noticed was missing.

It was a PS5. No, there wasn't a PS5 when we got there. Well I do have a stock check and a picture showing that it was there before you checked in but after you checked out it went missing. No, I don't recall there being a PS5 at all. Yeah I mean there is a tracker in the PS5 as well, and it says that it is showing up in 31... ****

Erm, yeah, yeah, that's my home address. I'm gonna go and check. I'm gonna go and check that **** it's on. That's so funny. Oh, yeah. Oh, you got me. he was doing everything right though Either I'm gonna call the police. I'm gonna give you so much more chill in British accents I'm sitting playing right now. They'll be funny you heard them playing Call of Duty in the background

You have an update on your scooter who provides populist Yeah, go sit yeah, yeah talking to Stevens Mike By the way on Facebook I lurk in all the local neighborhood pages the butt grabbers back on the scooter Oh, no, and I commented on it I was like watch out ladies who goes after moms the strollers blah blah and a bunch of yakkers who live in the neighborhood We're like Kate like let's make it our mission to come like I'm gonna coo to some yakkers in the neighborhood We're gonna get a trap him. I think so what if he just does what he does When I get a free mug around no I'm thinking about a dummy baby in the stroller

I wear tights a little puffed up And then someone's following me nearby with a taser nice Why don't you have the tazer put the tazer in your butt? Did you see the video of the guy on the pedal beer trolley all alone? No. Yeah, that's one of the, that's his local bar.

Just the bitch. Aw. Just a regular. I think that'll be awesome. Yeah, just. Zach's cooking something up. Yeah, he is. Brian, do the Game Time ad read while Zach cooks.

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So basically I was at church Saturday night, and I have a scooter that I ride around the city like it's mine I brought it here, and how much was it like $800 600 $800? Why were you church Saturday 600 or 800? It's it I remember is around like 750 the story already isn't adding up how long were you church an hour okay okay so I have a chain we're basically one hook it's a handcuffs basically so one goes to the scooter then one goes to whatever I chain it to so I treated to the church's fence and I came out and the chain was just snapped in half but built into the scooter is like a find my iPhone thing.

So it's like I can just track it on like find my like if you like lost your iPad or something. So all I was tracking that I called the cops. Everyone was like super mad about that that I called the police and then I was tracking it all Saturday night throughout the city. And then eventually it's like it got, it's like west of here. But it's been in this one spot now for a long time. And so I went there twice. And I basically narrowed it down to it's in four different houses. And I called the police to see if they could help me. And I was like riding around with them at night, but there's they can't legally enter a house. But what they suggested I do is that I either knock and see if they have it,

and then my mom called our insurance company to see if it would be covered, and they said they can't do anything unless I make an attempt to get it, which sounds pretty unsafe. They're like, hey, go try to go into the house that stole your scooter, but I'm looking to see if maybe I can get a team and we can do a field trip

either tomorrow morning or something. I'll do it with you Here you go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think all you need is video of you like knocking on the door, right? Yeah, like we're getting that scooter back. Yeah, but like what? What if they just say no, I don't have the scooter I Mean basically I at least for my insurance I have to at least make an attempt But I could show them it's in their house. Like I could pull it up on my phone.

But you said it's in four houses. Because the way it works is that, I don't know if you've ever seen an AirTag or anything, it's not dead accurate. I won't get it to the exact spot. Like the way an AirTag works, anytime something Bluetooth goes near it, it will refresh on the app.

Yeah. I think we have to camp out for at least a couple hours just to see If anyone comes out of the house with the scooter, I also got some red handed Yeah, I think you gotta go I think you gotta go like this afternoon because if you go in the morning there's a chance no one's gonna be home How far west of here? Yeah, it's like portage park. Oh Whoa You live all the way over there?

No, I like it. Oh it's scootered. Oh Where do you live? I grew up right around there. I live in Bucktown. What if the scooter's happier over there? Could be. Trust me, it ain't. Do you have like an emotional connection to this scooter?

I mean, it was just like the way I got around the city, so kinda. You know what you need to do is you need to come up with a, like, be like, hey man't I don't want it back, but I have like my house key Hidden in like the handlebars can I I can't get into my house and you get them And he's just gonna steal your house And then your house is gonna end up in Porter's Park Do you want to pretend that as you can show the insurance company, it's, am I?

And I'll be like, no, I ain't giving it to you. And I throw things out my door. Well, you saying this right here kind of ruined that. Right. It can't be you. I think you need to trap this guy, like set up like a lemonade stand, but more like a competition. Who can ride their scooter the fastest?

Oh yeah, put a ramp out in town by the street. And just be like, hey, if you have a scooter, you win 50 bucks if you're the fastest of the day. My theory, my working theory for it is because I just like, I camped out the house yesterday for like, 45 minutes. And but my theory on it was when they stole it, it was at pretty low battery.

And like, the battery isn't like a common like, cord or anything. So I think they ordered a charger and they're waiting to use it because they can't charge it right now You should go with your battery didn't like hey, dude Chargers do a trail of batteries to the police station All you got to do is that once it's charged he'll take it out in the town and then you cut it when he's at church

You know what I'm saying? Would you get in trouble for stealing your own scooter? No, no and once it's charged, he'll take it out in the town, and then you cut it when he's at church. You know what I'm saying? Would you get in trouble for stealing your own scooter? No. No, I don't think so. Do this, but with the charger. Oh, yeah. OJ did that with his memorabilia.

He didn't get in trouble for that at all. All right, so you're going to stake out tonight? Yeah, whoever wants. Should I go knock on the four houses? I think it is. No. No. Are you prepared for the conversation?

My plan was to be like, hey, my cousin lost his scooter and it's tracking to here, we're wondering if you might have taken it by accident, kind of give him an out. That doesn't seem good. Are you prepared for like? A gun. A gun, and he's like, give me your shoes and wallet. You must prepare for no goddamn gun

I mean the police said they can come and like be in the back, but they just can't physically Go inside the house. Okay. Why don't you go with one of our security guards? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I post a tick-tock that I'm in yeah, how'd that go? Do people think I'm on the case? Yeah, everyone's typing you up in the comments. Oh, thanks. I didn't really feel like I was on the case. Now that's a leader. Yeah, yeah. If you play it, you can tell I'm pumped. Might send out a team or something? Yeah. I got kind of... It's early on Monday morning.

HoopaPy kind of threw this on me. I guess I'm trying to get this scooter now. Let's go. Come on, let's get this scooter. Yeah, let's go. Wow, that's leadership. That is leadership. You know, Hoopify, I literally walked in and he was just like,

hey, you wanna help me find my scooter? I was like, what? All right. But I'm in, I'm in, I'm invested. All right. I wanna get this scooter back. Yeah, I mean, me too. Yeah.

A lot, but. Okay. So did you suggest we go tonight then? Yeah, I mean me too. Yeah, but okay as you suggest we go tonight then Yeah, I think you got to go because like morning you there's a good chance. They're working okay out stealing more scooters Yeah, so do we wait to see the scooter then or no? I think you gotta just start knocking what a guess They're not working. I think Take a crazy guess these are unemployed. Hey bring a drone But take a crazy guess these are unemployed. He bring a drone That's what someone said in the comments. Oh, go was joking go get a drone and go over the backyards Did you see anyone come out of any for these houses while you're camped out?

So yeah the first night I went there so my scooter got stolen at like what by the time I got of a church It was like six o'clock So I was tracking it and by the time I got made it to the final spot It was like 845 and then these guys I came out of their house, and I just like turned and walked the other way because I was like kind of are you pussy down? Well, I was peeking in one of their cars All right, it's just judging by the looks of the four houses is there a favorite Yeah, can you hear somebody? Oh right now?

I need to see this go live because if they shoot you and they're live like the views yeah yeah yeah go live are you are you hearing like somebody say we behind the door is that how you know it's the favorite house I love the big cat was like go live it'll it'll do nothing to protect you but I'll be great content for all of I want to see the confrontation live okay yeah I could do that I can try to assemble a team so we can go after this ear muffs, soupify big cat. But now if something happens, you're on here encouraging him to go to the house. No, I mean he was going to go to the house. Yeah, he was going to go to the house. You couldn't stop them. Okay. Don't go. It'll be fine. Don't go to the house.

Don't go to the house. Okay. Wink go. Don't go to the house. Okay. Wink. I think we kinda have to get to a point where it's like you've left me no choice. Like we have to let them know that we know. Maybe you put like a missing scooter sign on each four of the houses and then see how they react from there.

Can I just say I think he actually shouldn't go to the house? I don't think he should. I just think- He's already gone twice. Danny, what if the signs say missing haunted scooter? And so it's, they're like, I don't think he should. He's already gone twice. Danny, what if the signs say missing, haunted scooter? And so it's like, I don't want this shit. I lost this cursed scooter. Every rider has died.

It's haunted. That's why I was at church. So when I originally went, the first place I went was like, I did not want to go back. It was like, stupid. Don't get the scooter, man. But because then there was that whole parade going on, I was calling the middle of that,

and I was like, yeah, my scooter's gone. But then when it went to the final spot, the neighborhood was actually pretty nice, and I was like, okay, I felt comfortable enough to go back there. Yeah, I'm from not far from there. I got you. What does that mean, you've got him?

Yeah, what? He goes to the lay of the land. Oh, fine. I know people who live around Yeah, what area? What have you? He goes to the lay of the land. Oh, fine. I know people who live around there. How is that going to help you? There's a great chance I know someone who lives on that block. And?

And I can get intel on what kind of people we're about to be dealing with. Okay. There we go. That's what we need. Any more brain busters, Brandon? Kyle, it got cut from the intern interview, but you saying that Hoopify is the opposite of gentrify. It's very funny. All right, don't go. I like the idea of giving them the charger.

Yeah, yeah, hey, you stole my scooter. Like, I have no use for this. You're just giving them away. Don't say you have a stolen scooter Just go door-to-door selling scooter chargers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there you go Like selling segway, I feel like if you go someone's house you're like, hey, I know you have my scooter But I'm like I'm not gonna call the cops. I'd really just appreciate it back. They might give it back Oh door-to-door Mormon you and Danny dress up like Mormon. Oh,

that's smart. And you just get the this is how you get the first lay of the land. Yeah. I was like, we've been we've been doing this all day. And we haven't seen one scooter. Do you happen chance have a scooter? That's what people said to do is just go door to door because someone like lost their phone in Chicago apparently, or commenting that like, her and like four of her friends went to door cuz someone like lost their phone in Chicago apparently or commenting that

Like her and like four of her friends went to their door like we know you have my phone We won't call the cops, but give me my phone and they give it back Yeah, I think people would do that when you say we're not gonna call the cops. Yeah Yeah, I was gonna say we're not gonna call the cops, but you're gonna wish we did whoa Getting threats Danny. Mm-hmm like that's Danny smokes. All right. Well, good luck Hoopify. Thank you Just get a new scooters gone forever, do we ask how expensive I think It's a nice scooter It's it cost $750 I missed that part. Yes, it's six to eight hundred

I said, which one no, it's time to just buy it. It's next scooter time what if you got like what if you got like a group of a hundred people and he goes and knocks On the door with like a giant flash. Yeah, yeah, hey we want the scooter back wouldn't it like kind of Fuck you up if like it could be like a male bitch mmm Dork got away with stealing a scooter Cutting of the lock means the guide like they were prepared to steal Oh, they cut the lock. Yeah, what if he was like no I ripped that I want to go back I would have just somehow got the scooter inside the church. I don't know why I was locked outside the

Church he went to church Pretty small I think I would have just gotten it in the building. Yes, this is who pofys Oh, they cut something with machinery that they need to cut. Yes. Yeah. Oh, they were seasoned They're not giving it back. No, and they probably were specifically at the church around. They have a scooter stealing operation exactly Yeah, there's a good chance. You're like, hey, I want my scooter like which one it's next scooter time Yeah, what about just come in take your justices got what about justice? He's he I don't think he has anything to do with this I think we got to get justice on the case So there has to be another there has to be an around about way to get you the justice

Maybe a big push to make scooters seem gay. Mm-hmm. He's like damn. I don't want this. What if these are homosexual? Oh fuck We're playing right in their hands at that point. You're right You never think about the homosexual a thief I'm not keeping the scooter back about so much dick this week. Yeah, this is what I ride to get fucked in my hair Zach what do you got? I've got a couple that could work. Okay, you want one? Yeah One of them is oh, where's the most elite place to have a bell movement outside of your house Good question One of them is, where's the most elite place that have a bell moving outside of your house? Oh.

Good question. Let me think. Most elite place bell moving outside of your house. I mean, any nice restaurant that has a door that has a bell moving outside of your house. Airport lounge. Airport lounges are good. You want a floor to ceiling door.

You can call those cocaine bathrooms. Anywhere play music in the bathroom. Five star hotel lobby. Five star hotel lobby. Five star hotel lobby. Feels good. All those cocaine bathroom anywhere play music in the bathroom five-star five-star hotel lobby five-star feels good Steven has a take about casino bathrooms, and I actually kind of agree with him now you know bathrooms are pretty elite Though like very good cuz like I'm sure like they get cleaned a lot. Yeah But not so nice that there's an attendant I hate that oh yeah, oh yeah, that's a lot of I'm not gonna blow up a bathroom attendant. Yeah, they're used to it. They work in a bathroom

I've seen a lot of shit Like holy fuck what you do in there? I've done this for 25 years. That's the stinkiest I think about the bathroom attendant. I would do that once a night Want to let you know that you you out of I've heard and smelled 50,000 shits and yours is by far stinkiest Bathroom, it did just have out of order Sign ready sign and just like slap it right there. We're going to have to retire this one for the night.

We're giving her the rest of the night off. Calling people. You guys got to come in and smoke this guy's shit. It's terrible. If you had like a leader board and you're like, what's your name by the way? You write their name. Hey, let me get a quick picture of you. That shit, yeah.

Oh my God. Like a restaurant. People have taken a shit here Well, and if I had the stinkiest shit in an establishment, that's better than getting a stand sandwich named after yeah All the servers are clapping doing like a happy birthday. Yeah, it's an honorary stall That's pretty good. Yeah, I kind of want to be the bar. It kind of bar still bar do that All time Coupon you do it for the girls bathroom, too. Oh, yeah, here's a t-shirt

Okay good one I would go with like a kind of upscale restaurant. You're in the middle of a long dinner You want to get a break and it's a nice bathroom nice Oh, yeah taking a shit in the middle of a long dirts great is you're like But then you run into those guys like you might have to tip to for the hand wash I wouldn't want it's too fancy. Yeah Those guys kind of are screwed now too, because cash is no longer a thing and like they need. Do you think we're going to get to that point at some point where

you can you can tip a bathroom attendant with a card? They have the vento. I can't believe a lot don't though. Yeah. But then you can just be like, yeah, yeah, I got I'm going to tell tip you and then a lot of people don't., I'll get you next time Yeah, you guys ever take mince or cologne from the attendance Take I'll take a mint every now and then Maybe a star I gotta be honest. I Probably count on one hand how many bathrooms for the tenants I've been in in my life Some real shit that have them sometimes like those are security cards. Those are not attend. Yeah some I still take tips Okay, those are security guards those are not attend. Yeah some still take tips

Okay, those are probably just men waiting Women do it yes, are there men and or is it women attendants women attendants? I've been in some like kind of shithole bars like sweaty clubs With attendance and you're right there probably for security cocaine I always appreciate a deodorant spray in there What? Did you just spritz your ass? Yeah, wait. Ladies don't act like you're not spritzing your ass.

So, I'm sorry. Okay. Good question, Zach. Yeah, thank you, Zach. Glad I could help. Yeah. You got another one? I do.

Which one would I have to go with? We got... Oh, yeah. What's up? I was going to say do the one you're not really sure about. Okay. The one, one of the ones I was not really sure about is it is it the idea vacation or the actual vacation? That is most enjoyable idea and the way there. Mm-hmm. I hate the way there the actual hate the way there

I hate travel. There's the best hate traveling for vacations If you ask me before every vacation if I could just be like nah, I'm gonna stay home. I do it Do you like way back more than way there? I? Don't Yes, but I don't like way home. I do it. Do you like way back more than way there? I Don't Yes, but I don't like way back. I just Like way back with that sucks. I just don't like traveling way. There's fun. What about when it's a road trip? That is there is fun road trip. I'm in getting on doing the whole plane thing. I just I Don't know once I'm there

I'm fine, but it's just like the idea of traveling the night before packing all that once I'm there It's a countdown to I have to leave in my head. I still have a plan my vacation this year I'm gonna have to take the last minute one. I don't know What's the best day on vacation if you go for seven days second day second day? You have so much you could be lazy or like we can do that later on second day day. By the third day you're starting to the clocks starting to creep up on you. Well if we don't do it now and by the fourth day you're just like well we gotta go soon. Fourth day is just. Anybody else have a third? Next to last day is the worst day. She gets real antsy. She starts cleaning everything and she's in a bad mood and you're like. I might go third day though because you get you get you have your routine a little bit. many we know everything is how many days you there second last second last day is worse than last day like second day all right so let's say you land first of all day is great let's say you land halfway through Sunday okay so then you're you get there Sunday night do dinner wake up Monday you you do the whole like I got

to learn everything kind of figure out the lay of the land then when you wake up on Tuesday, it's like, I know everything. I got a routine, I feel good. Tuesday, Wednesday is the best time for this. Yeah, that's it, right in the middle of it, where it's just like, you got the whole routine, you got the flow, you know where the best spot is.

A lot of people might be knocking out everything on their list Tuesday, Thursday. Tuesday, Wednesday though, which might make Thursday the best day since it's all done with you can just Relax I like that. I don't like second day because second day You also like you like if there's a pool situation got to figure out like how early do I got to get there? Then once you learn it now, you're ready to go. I think I'm a third-day guy I already know big cat brain and what you're gonna say. So for the rest of the room, okay a week-long vacation

Do you unpack your suitcase and put it into your clothes? Well, what do you think I'm gonna say? We know what do you know cuz you're wrong. You got me. Oh, you're wrong I someone unpacks Gets unpacked it gets unpacked. Hey hung up everything. No, I like unpacking. I love it Yeah, you got I love a really psychological. I live out. I live a new brand. Yeah, I live out of suitcase to now on the other side My suitcase will sometimes stay unpacked at home for like a week Longer once you get home you live it just stays in the suitcase

And then I've done sometimes when I've trips like oh You know a trip and then a week off then a trip I'll just take the whole suitcase a week later and just put it in the washer and then just put it right back Yeah, that doesn't get done That would be nice. That's actually a luxury thing that they don't start to just having just my vacation clothes luxury thing that They all start to just having just my vacation clothes Always ready to go at all times. Yeah. Oh god. Just like I have a suitcase It just has everything in your go bag for like you have a tropical suitcase. Yeah ready to go in suitcase

Yeah, that is the epitome of luxury. Yeah, that's a great idea like duplicates of all your clothes. Yeah It's like no. No, I'm not touching that. That's my suitcase for whenever I go on vacation. Oh, it's fully packed. Yeah, that would fix every well of vacation I hate packing cuz I never do it right worst. I always forget something. That's what I'm saying I'll always forget something like major. Yeah, I brought no socks and I don't know about you guys But I am though I pack right up until oh, yeah like the second before I leave I got like a morning morning. I got a 10 a.m. Flight tomorrow morning I'm packing in the morning, but but it's the worst because I have anxiety the whole night before being like Yeah, pack in a pack and I'll pack items, but not cohesive outfits. Yeah, I'll bring the shirt

But I don't know nothing goes together. I'll also always I always fuck up I always am like I way overestimate one piece of clothing. Yeah, it's like oh, I'm going away for four days I have Two pairs of pants a pair of shorts and 17 t-shirts. Yeah, wait, why did I do that? I need five bathing suits We're the same one every day. Yeah, I brought like five bathings. I brought like underwear I was planning to shit myself like twice When I was packing was why they got my stomach hurting like I thought I was always like shopping when you're hungry grocery shopping Seven seven day trip that's nine don't pack when you have to shit way too many shirts way too many four of the shirts are dog shit

Shirts, I don't like I think that they're just hanging up and clean Yeah, yeah And also I know myself like I'll sleep in a shirt and wake up and like just wear it for a little part of the Day, you know what I mean? Like I won't shit like I'll go get coffee and I was like, why did I bring so many shirt? Always too much. I'm basically packing like I'm gonna change my shirt every two hours Yeah, I just don't that might be the most elusive thing in my life Is the perfect pack? It's it's never happened. It's never happened

I got every piece of your clothing and then having like the cuz I know you guys I always pack like Going home. Oh, you know, I mean like a pair of sweat. Yeah something. I've never done it I've never come close my to and fro outfit is always the same Well weeks vacation to there's a washer dryer there, but I still pack like there's not yeah Like I still pack for everyone who wants to wash dry well. I also always pack like going out clothes I have two small kids. I never the last few years down the Jersey Shore I'm like why did I bring like five dresses and jewelry when I didn't go out? Yeah, that's right I always bring like formal attire. I brought three watches to st. Martin

Who the washer and dryer though that might be the final piece of the having a Suitcase just for vacation where at the last day you wash it all pack it back up And it's ready, and it's ready to go for next time How many hats are you guys a lot? Three you just never know Crunk yeah exactly. I don't want to ruin good hats that I'm not gonna wear anyways You know what I do is I do that I put it on the side of the backpack I do I clip it on the yeah hats aren't a planned thing It's an impromptu just what I'm feeling in that moment, so I have to take like a hundred always

I also always bring like six pairs of sunglasses like and I'm like why that's why just in case and then And then I somehow lose a pair. I don't even wear Do you guys have any specific vacation hats that are just like vacation only? No, I don't Sounds like you might No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, anything. Like, oh, but what if I get, what if I get a new outfit? Don't. Doing that. Yeah.

I'm going this Saturday down Cial City, annual trip, same place every year, same week. But me and the boys and my parents are picking us up and their car, so two car seats, me, my parents, and all their stuff for the Jersey Shore. So they're like, if you could keep it to, if you could squeeze their stuff, we have a washer dryer to a carry-on this time.

So me and my boys. One carry-on. One carry-on. And I've taken, and two backpacks, I've taken it like a personal challenge. I'm like, can I survive a week with like three pairs of shorts and two big t-shirts? Yeah.

I think I could. I've taken it like a personal challenge though. I think I can do it. I'm going to try. Stay tuned. Are there any fancy dinners that you have to go to? Nope. Oh yeah, my god, you're fine.

Right? Yeah, you'll be all right. Are you going to buy a shirt at the resort? Maybe. It's just the beach. Just the beach house. So we'll see. You get the same house every year?

Yep. See y'all soon. It's a trailer on stilts over the bay. See I'll say these pretty elite Perfect pack and also packing it perfectly. I don't do that either. I just Everything becomes How many sacks we talking Everything I have in the drawer every everyone I have I always assume they're gonna get wet. Yeah And I again, it's kind of like the shirts like I rewear socks. It's like so stupid. I can't rewear socks

I'd tell I saw that was like a debate on tik-tok last week It's like if you're at home and you take your socks off You're never picking those off the floor and putting those same socks back on right? You're just getting a new pair of socks from the drawer if you want. I thought back I don't rewear socks at home, but I will on vacation. Yes stupid Makes no sense All right great question

By the way as a reminder that was one you weren't really sure of Wow that was like that was like your bottom of yeah Also, by the way as a reminder this is all because Stephen Che put a dogshit effort Yeah, today's prep sheet, but he's gonna do so many prep sheets that like questions every day is a Monday Zach you think you know we can load it off of a weekend He just did it because he wanted all on one sheet, and I'm not comfortable that the fact that he even participated in that conversation We're only know straw hats. Yeah, you threw in more only here was that because she's out of the bullpen. Okay, Zach No, you want another question. Oh, yeah I wasn't sure just giving us free riffs. I might have the hot rain. I might have another stay hot, bro

You want to pick between two maybe if I throw two out I want both of them okay other for so one at the same Time maybe one half got you the other yeah, okay one of them I got a you might like this one may not is there a cause bigger small you feel strongly enough about you would consider vigilante justice Wow no yeah The one would exist, yeah. No, like anything with your children. Yeah.

As far as the calls that exist now in my life, no. I saw that clip for Father's Day, the guy who waited in the airport and shot the guy who molested his child. Right. All time dad move. Waiting at the pay phone. But that's where your mind always goes with vigilante justice, is like killing the guy though. Yeah

What if what if there's a way to get justice? It's just like poop in his yard or something? Because you never fantasy you always fantasize about like I'll beat the fuck out of that guy. I'll shoot him in the face Yeah, I'll tell you sometimes sometimes it's like that guy Yeah said something rude to me, so I'm gonna yeah piss on his lawn or something just minor inconvenience him Yeah, I would do that strategy. Yeah, I don't ever get slowly get him back Yeah If you peed on his the side of his house in the same spot every day for a year it would begin to get Yeah, like it'd be a problem for something like that. Yeah, did you see the soda guy?

No, there's a guy that's pouring his soda on the side of a 7-eleven till it stains I described it perfectly I promise you I'm not pulling any punches. I just I this is as is I'll tell you one thing I would not do vigilante justice for scooter. Yeah, let that go Do you have one Zach? Yeah No, I stay on the sidewalk wait super civilian. I wouldn't do vigilante. Yeah, unfortunately dude if I had I wouldn't be a superhero Because you started to do that yeah, right

Yeah, it's superpowers you'd be using those superpowers all the time. But not to be a hero. I dream about it. We have someone's dog keep shitting on our little patch of grass where I put my kids water place stuff. And I dream about laying there in a ghillie suit. And then you'd get shit on. Yeah, no offense, Kate.

Shit on me instead. You're like the last person in the world. You'd let the dog shit on you, Kate. Oops, sorry. But I dream about it a lot, because I would never do it. You know what I mean? I would never... You fantasize about it. You have a scott fetish, yeah.

Fetishes I have of like, vigilante justice, or like a guy hits a woman and there's a bunch of us. Yeah, you beat the fuck out of that guy Yeah, but it's like there's strength in numbers. What about like stop that? What about like two that year olds are picking on like a nine-year-old? Oh, yeah, you're gonna come Fucking whale on a third side I did a little vigilante be cool yesterday at my son's birthday party They were playing dodgeball and it was like there was way too many older kids on the other side.

And they were just killing my son's team. And I hopped in. Yeah, that's the vigilante justice that I'm up for. It felt good. Yeah. I was just catching everything with one hand, throwing it right back at their face. Right.

Yeah, that's good vigilante. That's a good one, yeah. You got one, Kyle? You got vigilante justice in you. I don't like when people Do dumbbell exercises right on the dumbbells? Oh? You gotta step away from the rack. Get them. I would never do anything. Oh meaning they're just take them, they stand up and you can't get to the dumbbells. They're blocking other dumbbells. Yeah. Throw a dumbbell at their head another good one Zach very good one

three for three killing us I'm glad you guys like that you want a treat for your you want to is that a kinder bueno yeah we have a bunch really great snack throw one over here these are the ones I called better kick do a heat check Zach do something that's like I know this is a bad shot. Yeah from the logo so fucking hot right now Yeah, Caitlin Clark. Yeah If you were to open a franchise, what would it be and why For my own fun, I'd want to chuck cheese okay Chuck cheese. Yeah, Chuckie. Yeah, I mean are those I feel like those are on the way out big time. I

mean, I've looked into getting a Chick-fil-A franchise. Pretty you've talked to people. I've gotten. Yeah, I've gone down the road on it before. It's not like you don't get high if you're on supply with the problem with dealer problem that is on crack. You can't just you have to run it. They won't let you own it and run it from a oh you have to run it. Yeah, I won't let you Own it and run it from better than a KitKat No, probably cuz you're full from that burrito that apparently

There's a burrito down there. Oh man was that a pocket burrito No, you have a you buy that about two-thirds of it Fell out of your pants And I eat it I mean I guess What do you mean you've had that in your pants the whole time big cat That's unbelievable Kyle I've never had this what do you think I can comfortably say that you're better than a KitKat observation is correct. It's so Exactly you get one. I did not but I do you want one sure treat me. I appreciate that very much for the treatment

What's Stephen just walk past whistling? Big KitKats better acting casual. Can you please tell me where this burritos from I? Guess you have to just buy one from somewhere different every day until you figure it out You're doing reverse psychology right now, and you're kind of getting me. Yeah, he's got a free burrito. Tell me where it's from. Is it warm? Uh huh. Well, it was in his pants.

You're really eating it now? Yeah, it's a little late in the day, don't you think? It's a good burrito. A burrito afternoon? A burrito. I don't want this fucking burrito. Take a bite of the burrito. I'm better than that.

Oh, come on. It's a really good burrito. Take a bite of the burrito. I'm better than that It's not spicy Where did you get that I didn't get it, what do you mean would it have been funny if I did Well, how did it get here? How did it get here? It had been really funny if I did that Yes Are you sure? What is he doing? I don't know. He's reversed it back Where did you get that burrito? I want to get it again. I Didn't get it It was almost that it wasn't that funny

Yeah, so now you can't tell them where you got the burrito was it hilarious. It's a good burrito So now you can't tell him where you got the burrito was it hilarious. It's a good burrito But it's not hilarious. He was not it's hilarious wasn't hilarious hilarious if you tell me where it wasn't that funny Guess you'll never know Call those good. I think to be hilarious you would have needed to actually plant it inside his pants Yeah, who put this burrito? I don't know how you yeah, I didn't have the opening to do anything that would have been worth it tell me where the fucking burritos it's a good burrito what if he takes like three guesses yeah if you had to guess do you have a guess no no it It's smaller than the burritos. Just taco burrito king. Oh, OK.

I have had those. Good burrito. All right, franchises. It has to be an existing one. You have an idea? I would think existing one. But if you have an original franchise, I do think it could be fantastic.

Yeah, my dips. A dip. Oh, your if you have an original franchise I do, that could be fantastic. Yeah, my dips. Oh, your dip restaurant. Yep. I've talked about that. I've always wanted to own a pizza shop where I can just hang out in the back. Play cards. Like Sopranos almost. Yeah. And then I said that to my wife once.

She's like, you have a 40,000 square foot warehouse where you just do that. Good point. Don't have pizza. I was like, all I wanna do is hang out with my friends and watch sports. If only. Yeah. But fucking work gets in the way.

Wasn't for this goddamn job. No, but it's really, what it is is, it's like getting the soda fountain, you having your own. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, maybe that's. Soda fountain's next? You have your own mm-hmm So the fountains max do you have to clean those how's the upkeep been? That keeps me going well. Yeah, or make sure I keep it clean for you guys. Yeah, they cleaned it yesterday It got a recent we cleaned it out a Friday reassembled yesterday

Yeah, cuz I brought my kids and their friends over after the party And gave them all ice cream. It was the perfect Consistency. That's awesome. We love to hear that. Whoa, that looks complex. That's a lot. It has gotten soupier Because your wave sometimes we're really trying to what is that? Why can't we get it to the It could be a couple of things. We're just trying to nail down what it is We don't have it yet. Are you nervous about this week? Because this week's a big week.

We have a lot of people coming through the office. Dave's going to be here, right? Dave's going to be here. Dave's going to get his first cone. If Dave gets a soupy cone, it's over. You can't. He's got to have a good cone. We can't put that.

You've got to get boss man a good cone. He's got to have a good cone. Are you going to maybe clean it again tomorrow before so you can get that consistency? We're thinking maybe the volume of people coming in could be beneficial to the machine. Because day one when we had the line of people coming in, we didn't hear anything about soupy first day.

So maybe avid use is good. It could also still be bad. It's going to be good or bad. Sounds like we don't have a handle on this. We got three but the thing is The way that it cools is left to right which is why we're getting soft on the chocolate Sometimes and then we mess with the viscosity one the viscosity we got sharp scraper blades in the freezing cylinders So it's not that either Sharps scraper blades in the freezing cylinders, so it's not that either We'll get there it's just happy more often than not has it been yeah, would you

Would you say? That's not a majority of your your cones are soupy as opposed to where you'd want them to be right now I don't know this is a safe space yeah 100% We need all the all the criticism and feedback we can get to make get it right for you guys It's been it's been soupy. It's been soupy most of the time most of time. It's been soupy more often than not Which is not great. I don't mind a soupy. I don't mind it. It tastes well, but that but hold on You're not a cone. We're both cup men. That's the problem. I'm a cone guy. We die I'm a couple like the other yesterday. I had to throw out a cone What it was I did it and it was literally just soup

That's exact Was perfect in them in them like around noon and then by seven o'clock it had gone to shit Getting awfully close to drip territory I'm also now that my kids have had the ice cream Machine here. This is probably a really mean thing. I'm doing now that my kids have had the ice cream machine here, this is probably a really mean thing I'm doing, but every time I go to work now I'm just like, gonna have about four toes. They're like, what?

What? Last night I came in right before they were going to bed and I was just like, gotta go to work. They're like, what do you do at work? I was like, I eat a lot of ice cream. Kyle, do you do at work? Oh, you know ice cream Kyle have you had one yet on opening day? Okay. Yeah, it's just not the right time for me to eat ice cream. Whoa When is I'm desserts at night? Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah before bed when I in there. That could get in there. All right, OK.

All right, you had it? Yes, every once in a while, yes. I have to have some because the test cup. So we're checking to make sure it's not soupy for you guys, and we can't just throw it away. When was the last time you did two pints? I did one Friday, two. Like, last week was the first time I did two.

Really? Yeah, I'm trying to count the calories. I'm trying to dial it back. Yeah. I'm running out of clothes to fit. Shit. I mean, I'm trying to get, we're trying to, we're trying to count the calories a little bit.

Yeah. Have you lost weight? No. Not yet. Soon after. Have you gained weight? Matter of time. Last two days, we're steady.

You stopped gaining the weight. Stopped gaining the weight. Yeah, okay. Good. Because what you were gaining at was not sustainable. It wasn't good. I was eating a lot of food. Yeah.

Have you always been a black t-shirt guy? Because I've noticed, did you pick that up because of Big Cat? Did you pick that up because you're gaining weight? Historically, I'll say in a darker tone of t-shirt. You've always been that way. Yeah. I think it's a safe play. Yeah.

Super safe. We've got a good crew. I noticed that, yeah, you're building a little crew. What about Bandruff, though? Yeah. I think max is in the crew Zack and I there's no Jacob's kind of in the crew. We had a good black t-shirt crew Good crew join. It's good. Look. Yeah, you ever seen you get dressed as a safe play every day. Things closet is just black t-shirts All right, what else you got come on? I got one more for you the last one

I had was uh, what do you think is the best first got one more for you the last one I had was uh What do you think is the best first date that doesn't involve strenuous physical activity? But also isn't just drinks and appetizers hmm Could it be like drinks and appetizers with some sort of show going on in front of you like a special night at a bar But it will avoid music for this I live non strenuous non strenuous activity so no hikes or like rock climbing but we do strenuous zoo good one it's a prince it's a ball game or a good first thing I think it's too long too long for sure too long maybe with the pitch clock era maybe all right yeah and she's going to see better-looking men right there.

I'm with you, Randy. I haven't been on a first date in a very long time. I know. But, like, the idea is you don't want it long because what if it sucks? Right. Oh, what if it's great? But that's a risk. What about Friends House Party? No. No, no, no, no.

I guess, yeah, like, when I was in the dating world, you only go on dates with people if you're like I think this is going to go well But you're ever go bad. I wouldn't I It depends on your mindset with with the dates I guess like if you're someone that's just like yeah fucking I'll go on a blind date with anybody You know I was always someone that was like I want to talk to this person for a long time No, but you have like some sort of idea coffee. This will go well Street street festival. Francis said that he goes on for his first dates

He he does like a 20-minute walk and then decides after like I don't like the walk is to yeah that interview That's like that's a dog move. I don't know. I think a first date too You got to have the option I guess maybe baseball games not the worst because you do get the people watching yeah Point out other yeah be like look at those fucking losers Yeah, like a street fair like a public park with live music and you know drink carts Yeah I've been on one in a bookstore before and it's good because the books bring up different topics that like give you icebreakers To talk about as you're walking through

What about I don't know if this is a first date thing, but I do this my wife We'll go dinner in a movie, but we'll go movie dinner Because you can talk about after The only problem is I do load up on popcorn that a lot. That's a long date still it is Yeah, it's It's a long time to be with my wife actually zoo might stink aquarium Aquarium where good lighting in there. Yeah look like an eight Everybody does look better in the aquarium you're trapped yeah, like if it doesn't go well

You're still gonna be in an aquarium for the next hour And they're smaller than a zoo. It's usually smaller and quicker. I'm like Titus I don't go into the first day thinking what if it goes poorly? I just think set up the set up. Yeah, have you got to have things to talk about talk to this person before That's why do you like movie dinner is awesome. I Think it's wild to just go on a date with someone you haven't been like texting. That's what I'm Every every first thing you're going on you have some sort of a board. It's like don't they do Yeah, you go on first dates like is it every every person person go on a first date with have you like talk to them for a while?

Texting yeah, okay You sit at the bar of a nicer place that way you have like the people watching you could riff easily that way Maybe there's some darts in the corner get a little friendly competition going also you make sure you're kind of on a stretch There's a couple other bars nearby switch it up Make it stimulating. What about putt-putt? What about what about a round of putt-putt Zach? I could play a miniature golf. I think putt-putt's long enough. I think really 30 putt-ts long enough. I think really Putt stops being fun

After the first hole Really? But all you guys I forget you guys do the whole thing here. I like bowling. Oh, yeah Why I've never putt I don't know bowling is a first day bowling might be a second Yeah, cuz it's awkward you start talking and it's like hold on a beer back But that's also like and I know this is gonna sound misogynistic Bowling's a first day, bowling might be a second. Yeah. Because it's awkward, you start talking, and it's like, hold on, I'll be right back. Hold on, I'll be right back. But that's also like, and I know this is going to sound misogynistic, but like, what if you bowl and you get beat?

Yeah. You can't do that. You can't have that. You can't have any competition. You have to do a competition you know you're going to win. You've got to get up too frequently for a first date. In bowling, yeah. You need uninterrupted conversation.

I think it's like the opposite. You can probably assume She's gonna be terrible bowling and she's gonna be embarrassed. Yeah, a lot of times put up the bumpers Yeah, she gets three gutter balls in a row. This is now a bad date Yeah, maybe I don't know you you don't want to put stress. She's good. Go do something You're good at acting you've never done it started But then she then you can teach her how to pull and you get get a little close, and you get the little, you know, the dick in the ass. You're right.

Instinct. Didn't think about that. Let me show you. Laser tag is probably a big one. Oh, yeah. Imagine if it was in your house. You're a wing of your house. Just lose your feet.

Let's go to my bedroom. Are you going to take this seriously or not? Has he played laser tag yet? Nope. No. She probably hasn't said the word laser tag. Has he thought about it anything? He's mad at you, by the way. Why?

He watched back the first. He had cons on a snake draft, so he said he had to do prep work to talk shit. And he watched back the yak of their competition, and he said that you were coming up with all the excuses. And he never would make an excuse that was a fake injury Oh, yeah, he takes me that too. Yeah I'm sorry. He participated in the race and he had to go back and watch it for prep work to talk prep work

Yep I think he tweeted it at cons The army's birthday. Yeah, he missed he missed construed He put up TJ he thought I was saying that he would get an injury live like while running I am I was saying he would tell us about some injuries had for the past half months. Yeah for the first time I truce I Thought they had a I think cons is involved in multiple truces By the way T Bob today is doing a chess tournament. Whoa. Yeah Who can compete?

Oh, it's a former NFL players thing. Yeah, so it's going to be on Twitch. He's hosting chess.com. Yeah, there it is. Cool. Oh. It's in it? Yeah, he's Kyler.

Is it Kyler Murray? It is, yeah. And Richard Sherman, looks like. Richard Sherman, Justin Herbert, and who's? That Richard Sherman Justin Herbert and who's that's Carmelo Anthony That's definitely not that's that's Carmelo Anthony in the hat That's AJ Dylan. It looks like Carmelo. I know that's not AJ Dylan could that be just that really that's Carla That's not Carmelo Anthony. I'm pretty sure it's Justin Reid. That's that's Matt Collins. Is that a I think it might be Carmelo Yes, it's Justin Reed. That's that's not Collins. Is that a think it might be Carmelo, man Justin Reed

So yeah tune into that starts I think at 3 o'clock central big deal Carmelo and I'll be awesome Zack thanks for chase. Yeah, I'm happy. Yeah, great job. I saved the day on that one. Maybe Steven maybe you consult Zach with some... topics next week and tomorrow? This is why he was looking at it. Clearly, the dunes shape you enough. Damn. He really was running so slow.

How do you get a low-res GIF of the episode? Make a GIF, Doc. Make a register. Where for an account? So I'm the one who wanted to subscribe. Beautiful. Why? What difference would it have been? It was a gif for a 5 second video.

It could have just been a screenshot of the game. It didn't have to move. It was way harder. Oh, rough and rowdy. Oh, he says David never. Is he ever going to let cons get a moment of peace? No. No. Is he ever gonna let cons get a moment of peace no no no Yeah, no he went even he was like I don't think his kids were sick when he had that excuse

It's like let's not okay. Yeah, I was like kids get sick a lot All right, all right. Yeah, let's spin the wheel good yak. Yeah, guys. Good. Yeah, I think later this week. We'll have some special guests Oh, it's gonna be here. So office will be full tomorrow. Well, Steve from basketball returns tonight. Yes. Game one is tonight. One game one is good. I'm gonna say Good ones. Must watch. Good. Watch. good watch watch game one pretty fucking good wait Never mind what it's been this show's been coming out for how long now I? We I don't know this will be the third. I don't really know what I don't know who decided the scheduling Like why is there no

Like two nights, and then there was like two nights off everyone's like why do we have I I don't have an answer. I would have guessed this thing was coming to a close But Max first Hank must Alright, so oh, so we have one every night this week cool. Yes, and then every night next Yeah, yeah So now we're going now we're ready to go. Yeah, okay game one must watch Honestly, yes big time every night this week every night next week except Friday. Yes, and then the Monday following. That's right. Yes Listen it gets people talking right sass probably got a miserable time trying to figure out the schedule with the boys Oh my god, this will make for some good anecdotes

All right, let's spin the wheel for some good anecdotes. All right, let's spin the wheel. Savannah bananas asked him to come to hitting practice. They have no idea what they're dealing with. Who will never agree to that in a trillion years? It's the most hopeless cause. They're trying to humble him by taking him to batting practice. Yeah.

All right, everyone turn. T-Bob's switch. It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Yes, I'm a dark shopper Do a Yankee swap It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! See you guys tomorrow, I love you guys, bye.