The Yak - Blutman is Trying to Live in the Office for 100 Days Straight | The Yak 2-11-25

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Sam Talent meets Brandon MacYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Robak.com promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Cues this.

Pull those hoodies, joggers, shorts. Robak.com promo code yak 20% off your first purchase cues us pull those hoodies joggers shorts row back comm promo code yak Our good friend Sam Talon is here Thank you for having me back Sam you're on a very short list of guys that when they ask if they come by I say Yes, everyone, but I when I say yes to you. I mean it and also I was like hey Just stay as long as you want in terms of days. Well, it's very flattering. Thank you. Yeah, I want them on the logo. Yeah Can you give me huge fake breasts? Yeah? Those are real those are real spots already taken. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I have huge real breasts You got that in common

Soly is the biggest tits in the office I can't stop thinking about Your cone tip pussy no, I'm not right no he apologized and he gave me nine gift certificates to chick-fil-a That's very nice. I mean he meant it. Yeah, that's mean he meant Yeah, those tits about to get a little conier when we're kids tits Coney was that the 60s I think that was 50s maybe they were still coming Madonna brought it back. They were like plantains in the Boobs were pointing What happened? What was that? How did that happen bras? I think they thought pointy bras were good, and they just shape the tits it shaped the tits

They're on the wrong the shape of whatever they're in. Oh, you know how tits are yeah, they're a liquid Yeah, okay, when they're a plasma when it's just get bigger. They definitely got bigger. There's a hormone I don't think tits were always big. Yeah, well that's that would be implied Like what I said I said when did tits get bigger who I said they were always big There was big titties back in the day no Like a hieroglyph Huge yeah, that was probably drawn by like a cool-ass dude That's like a huge deal that was probably drawn by like a cool-ass dude

Totally average cup size was definitely smaller they go to 60 years they go to embalm like a mummy and they're like we're gonna need some more good Can you look it up the evolution of breast size from the voluptuous 50s I think that was just a word for fat Hmm, I think voluptuous is like titties used to be fat titties are big titties nobody was voluptuous but fat titties were on bigger body yeah I would not want to be in the petite sixties no I think they were swinging man those a brawl is crazy time plump 80s they're just using all the 80s yeah plumps not a really 90s was the plump titties if I said she's got the hardest rock fucking You can't even imagine my tits are like a thing coming out of a magician scarf It is forever getting a little amount an infinite titty that would rock

limitless titties That would rock. The limitless titties. Wait, so wait, did they, did they, I feel like they were smaller. I feel like there weren't a lot of... What makes you think big titties didn't exist back then? I know they existed, I'm saying they just didn't exist as much. I bet old west titties were big. Yeah, but like, Roman women titties weren't big I bet.

They also covered them up a lot more back in the day. I bet Roman women- There are no biblical double D's. Right. I don't know. What's, who? Helen of Troy, what's she- Who David lust after?

I don't know, that guy banged his daughters. I bet they were jugged up. Whose best she was. Yeah, they would have to have been. Better had to be. What did the scripture say? David killed somebody's husband just to see her yeah, right just to look yeah I can't remember her name. She's good at glyphs

Helen of Troy was she jugged up. I just like the phrase jugged up. I love that I don't think she was jugged up. She's got a lot of dress showing a lot of cleave though We don't know we don't know she's high. We don't know oh come on. Just don't know that actually her Yeah, he's jugged up Yeah, I think they were eating like rice and fish I don't think that builds an ample bosom what does your older than all of us knows the first woman you remember Brandon jerked off to the Venus of Villendorf nice

Probably Dolly Parton Dolly part. Oh, yeah young dollars might be the first titty have y'all seen like 26 year old Dolly Parton Dolly Part oh yeah young dollars might be the first titty have y'all seen like 26 year old Dolly Parton I have god damn oh really and those were natural right cuz back then they didn't have that well she said later on that she's got fake titties so she has to go like once every five years to get them to get them resurfaced or re-adjusted. Rotate, she has to rotate her titties. Power wash, yeah. Where's 26-year-old? That's okay.

When she was like the smokey ballroom vixen. Oh, look at her. Yeah, she's hot. I saw a picture of Jill Biden from the 1970s. And she was so fucking hot. She was hot! Dude, Joe Biden could have won the presidency again if he had just been like here's a picture of my wife from the 70s

It's I mean guys are attracted to guys with hot I'd be more inclined to vote for a guy if he had a real Biden Yeah, I'll watch you Biden Jill Jill Biden in the 1970s was a smoke. What happened? She got old Time okay, she's got to forget. I figured out your hottest's hot as fuck. Yeah, look at her. She wants it. Why did she just... I don't get it. She's still hot. Yeah. Why would you turn into an ugly hat? Joe was laying her down. Why would she choose... That one's maybe... Oh, it's fine. It's fine. Pensive. How old was she there?

That's Joe Biden's wife on that man's lap. Yeah, who... How old was... Yes. Okay. That's directly Biden's wife on that man's lap. Yeah who how old is he? Okay, that's directly on his arm. Yeah, you know Joe Biden was born closer to Lincoln's presidency than his own Wow Damn was he born. I'm gonna choose to believe that I think he's right probably 40s he's no did women have huge tits back then? That's a really good point. 42. Did Eva Gardner have tits?

I think he would have been. Oh, for sure, dude. I think she did. Genie Harlow. Oh, well, the woman who got her head cut off who's the SVU lady's mom. This is a non-fictional person? Yeah, yeah.

I think you're right. Legendary boob pig. Got her head cut off? Yeah, in the back of a convertible. Oh, Jane Mansfield. Jane Mansfield, yes. Oh, that's right. He had him Oh my god. Mm-hmm Closer to Lincoln. So he was 77 years removed from Lincoln presidency and it became president after his 77th birthday

Wow, so that checks out. Yeah, it's not like I just thought of that. I read the fact but like sometimes you do that I'm just backing. Thank you. Yeah, that's a really fun fact It is it's fine facts a blast a good fact Wow That was like when Virginia McCasky died and I blew everyone's mind on PMT It was like she was born like 25 years before highways. Oh That's a weird one Like the actual highway system in America, oh the system okay. Yeah, we had like whatever route 66 Yeah, well she was born before floors. She's born before floors Sam. You're a history buff. No, okay?

I had big cat guess what your floors were invented Okay, like we're talking like hardwood. Yeah, I think he said 50 something Yeah a little and I just kind of figured everyone was just it was just dirt there that it was barefoot on sand yeah Pretty much every girl got a rug for 18th birthday to her wedding night No, yeah, I think floors have been around. There's been a lot of innovations and iterations on like parquet floors Those are an update of old wood floors. We've been doing floors for a while. Okay, well hey, sorry guys.

I don't want to come in here with all my fun for-fact. Yeah. It still blows my mind. Now, were you counting like brick and cobblestone? I don't know what I was counting. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't counting, I was just anything before the Civil War, I was like, yeah, that was dirt.

So it was ground or it was floor? Yeah. Yeah, no, like they would. So it was ground or it was floor. Yeah, okay Yeah, no, like they would have inside but it was just their round, huh? Despite I mean how would they? Correct, correct. Yeah, Jesus himself being a carpenter. It's a beautiful thought at any point Someone would take a wall about two-story house put it on the bottom You have roof, you know, why wouldn't you just there old? Colonial houses from like 1600s. Yeah, I yeah now that you say it that rings a bell Palace of Versailles

I think I think we have our now in this argue. I also called dr. Susan novelist Now in this argument called Dr. Susan novelist Yeah, you did yeah, it's pricey that was too much yeah, they're there a store in New Orleans called the art of dr Su's and it was just a bunch of paintings Depicting dr. Su scenes. Yeah, but awesome. Oh, that's cool. Yeah It was right around the corner from the hotel when I went to the bookstore to buy four books He was a bad guy. Dr. Seuss seen cheated on his wife. That's not that doesn't make him a bad guy No, but she was hot No, no, he cheated on his hot wife. Oh, that does make him a bad fucked up was she jugged up Can I ask you a question your honor? Did she have huge tits? I don't know the answer to this

Well now I do know what I was gonna say when did Dr. Seuss live because you could tell me he lived in the 1700s the 1800s or the 1900s this is the floor argument But in a different arena. He died in 91 though. I I didn't know one tit to tit Yeah, tip blue tip wait his he had a pen name called Rosetta Stone. I think the crazier one is Theo Lasik That's a great pen name Is that called Rosetta Stone. I think the crazier one is Theo lasik. That's a great pen name Is that where Rosetta Stone comes from I? Don't I don't know It's a dogshit signature. I thought it was awesome really you might as well Wasn't for me. I have a first edition know the places you'll go. Oh wow one of my

Prize possessions that sounds awesome. I was a foot edition, Oh, the Places You'll Go. Oh, wow. One of my prize possessions. That sounds awesome. I was a foot book man myself. Foot book? Uh-oh. You know what that leads to? It was a slippery slope. How many first editions do you have? I have probably 12 first editions.

Whoa. Yeah, I think that one's my most valuable. How much is it worth? It's not in great condition. Last I checked, it was like $1,200. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's not bad. Would you ever sell it make me an offer?

40 bucks I can't go below 12 K. I Need to factor in inflation. That's true. Are you wearing Buddha Ben? Yeah, I am yeah fuck Yes, he sent me a bunch of these clothes and then me and my wife and my friend got high and made a rap music video He sent me a bunch of these clothes and then me and my wife and my friend got high and made a rap music video Like the one time a year my wife gets high and next thing she knows he's spitting bars No We should do just do rap but not post it. Yeah, no you could clandestine apostles was the name of our crew You can find that. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, we were pretty rugged set as we say oh Yeah, yeah, we say that no one else does

I was in New Orleans scrolling laying in my bed scrolling and you popped up on my feet. I was acquitted she was mine You had your butt out the car window I was mooning the state of Kansas for my travel show wide world on YouTube did Eastern, we did Tokyo and then Paris and then Eastern Colorado and all the lights in the crown of the world and we, I hate Kansas because I grew up like an hour from there. Yeah Kansas stinks. It's the worst state. It's you know what? It is measurably the worst state. Indiana's tough. Indiana has dunes. Indiana has a lot of cool stuff. There's water Indiana are nobody mark nobody said anything bad about your state Why would you Colorado's great Colorado's a whole lot of fucking nothing if it had ocean it'd be number one

But if Indiana had an ocean it'd be a lot better it has the Great Lakes Gary yeah, and the water is poisoned for I don't I don't understand where this is coming from I'm just saying I thought we were having a heated debate amongst peers Yeah, 49 states, it's just basketball Yeah, okay Kansas is in top 30 in any metric except for obesity and illiteracy. Yeah, but metrics can be tricky Yeah, you're yeah. Yeah, you just went on drop a pin no Mississippi socially they're imbalanced. There's a lot of economic ramifications. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm sorry

I'd be smirked Indiana we got off on the wrong foot earlier cuz I misinterpreted your nuggets compliment. No no yeah Oh, what was the misinterpretation? You know, I feel like we should just plow forward Because I think I was I was Yeah, he's from he's from Denver. My wife is from Boulder I've become a Denver fan of all the sports the Denver sports teams because she loves them So I'll watch them with her you're right Um, and we're talking about the Nuggets and I said the Nuggets are having a surprisingly awesome season Which sounds insane to say because they have Jokic.

But given where the Nuggets, they won the championship, and it felt like they sort of fell off. Last year's playoffs, huge disappointment of how it ended. Then they go out and they say, we're going to fix all our problems by signing Russell Westbrook. Yes. And I feel like the perception of the Nuggets

was like, well, we don't have to worry about them anymore. Yeah, so nothing you just said could be interpreted as an insult or a slight at all I was saying this is they're having an awesome season yeah despite all odds is how you frame yeah you said it they were there yeah the children of the blind playing I feel like Indiana is like waiting in line at Taco Bell that's what it feels like I'm telling the truth What do you not like about Indiana? The people, the sites, the smell. Indianapolis is a beautiful city. Indianapolis is great. South Bend is

fine. Bloomington is good. Muncie, I've had a good time. You've named a lot of good places. That's a great state. It's a great state. Number one state. Also waiting in line at Taco Bell is not bad. For 24 hours a day you want to wait in line at T-Mobile. I don't want to wait in line anywhere for 24 hours a day. Do you ever get it? Oh everyone loves Indiana. I'm sorry. I think it's fine. They have some notable people from Indiana right? Jack's Five? Five Letterman Jane Paulie CBS Sunday morning Larry Byrd's aunt Tilda. Yeah, Larry Byrd's father. Yeah, Joe Byrd

Frank brother wrote a great series of novels about southern, Indiana Janet Jackson about it. Yeah, Mississippi's Tito Yeah, all the Jacksons. yeah, you know plenty as well really no Should we just take it from the top Indiana is the shining light of the world Yeah, we should all hang our hat on the glory that that state has given us I mean the Hoosiers right that's a good movie. Hoosiers good movie We work with anybody from Kansas oh nobody's from Kansas Yeah, no yeah fuck Kansas. I mooned the state of Kansas We drove across the state line, and I exposed my buttocks out the window and slapped my big rump

I said suck it Kansas you love it. This is what you call dinner and Yeah, I just don't like Kansas. I like more and I appreciated it. Yeah. Whoa hey Look we can all agree that oh, yeah, you moved them. Yeah, and I have a huge huge one Kate. Why is an Eagles fan? Kansas they're playing Kansas City Mm-hmm, she's mostly in Missouri, but yeah, but I mean all the fans are in Kansas. I mean Which is mostly in Missouri, but yeah, but I mean all the fans are in Kansas. I mean To make the Chiefs the the new Dallas Cowboys upsets me so much as someone from that part of the country It's like the whole Plains is supposed to love the Chiefs It's like oh we all just everyone get his fucking fall ass backwards into a generational talent late in the draft

You know I hate the Chiefs ass backwards into a generational talent late in the draft. You know, I hate the Chiefs. They've been so, I remember Elvis Gurvach, you know, I remember those days. Steve Deberg. Steve Deberg, sure. Howard Griffith. Christian McCoy. Oh, the Nigerian Nightmare? Yeah. Dude, back in the day when Nigerian Nightmare was over there and then there was that guy who played for the Chargers who weighed 340 pounds. Uh huh. Natron Means. Yeah. Natron Means business. That was a fun time to be in the AFC West. Yeah, Seahawks were still there That's right. They were yep young boy

Oh, I think I heard up the Broncos get the planes and they get the Dakotas and everything we get the Mountain Time Zone Yeah, which many people in this room didn't know existed. Oh I got confused when I came to Colorado. He did. She just did not know it was the time zone. Colorado, Montana, Idaho, New Mexico. Very good. Some of Texas. Some of Arizona. Some of Nevada.

Arizona does whatever the fuck it wants. Arizona is a real. Yeah, they're in business for themselves. Some call them Mavericks, I hate them. Do they not do daylight savings in Arizona? No. No, they just do whatever the fuck they want. Okay.

Kind of cool. Let them do it. Isn't there a section of Indiana that also doesn't do that? Yeah, very cool. Really? Indiana. It's just one little couple counties? Indiana, yeah, you can live in the middle of the line and work.

It's just a huge confusion. I like when Indiana does it, though. They do it well. They're such a great city. There we go. There we go. Samoa is on the international dateline So it's like 24-hour difference great cookie. I had a lot of them last night. Mm-hmm. You're bringing the end did you know? So I coach with no football. I need some eat a lot of girl scout cookies are the first sign that winter is yeah

Yeah, right Wow Yeah, when I eat my first girl scout cookie I get excited yeah you're like who they are shit so they're going out to the woods girl scouts yeah all right now what do scouts do I was in girl scouts and I remember we would be like in the cafeteria like gluing beans to a paper for art while all the boy scouts were outside playing with sticks and do a son shit I was like I fucking hate this. We went camping, but we stayed in buildings. And I don't know, maybe it was my troop, but I hated it.

I think you were just squatting. Yeah, maybe, yeah. It was my parents ran it, and just me and my brother were in it. It was weird. As a travel guy, Sam, do you appreciate what we have going on here? I think this is really cool, and I love the color purple. Yeah, so's collecting a hat from every state and we have more that we have to put up there

Do we ever get to the bottom of yeah, are they in New Orleans? I'm looking at TJ cuz I don't know did you see clever went viral the other day because someone was like this weirdo Tick-tock guys Yeah In the wildest pose yeah, We have a guy traveling the country collecting purple hats. He's getting paid for this? Well, we gave him a dollar amount

and he can barter with people, but he has to have that amount of money to the end. That's fun. There it is. Foulest clown TikTok. And this is the guy doing it. And does reviews in front of the theater in the wildest stance I've ever seen.

Let's see that full stance. That's our boy. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's a purple hat. Wasn It's our boy. Whoa. Whoa. That's our purple hackling. What? Does he stand like that?

Pete Davidson, Ricky Gervais did a nice job. I like the animation style. He was drawn like a kid drew it. Oh, Che's not here, is he? No. Like, really super hyper-shy. Che responded to this, that Dog Man's the worst movie he's ever seen.

It was fine. I saw it. You saw him? Yeah. The cuffed and under captain underpants guy? Yeah I took my boy the day I brought him to the office I took him to see Dog Man it was it was fine kids movie it's not not like a Pixar kids movie like it's made for kids yeah but I hated it and Stephen Che just got viral. Is it dog on top man on bottom? It's dog on bottom. So on top man on bottom it's dog dog dog bottom so on top yeah on bottom it's it's it's a man to man is red rocket and his pet dog what are the what are the dogs genitals man or dog it's a man and his pet dog it's a man's penis but it is how do they how does the dog put on pants they get into the

floor back to a bomb goes off that they're trying to put out they're gonna die they take him to hospital and they say well sew the dog's head on the man's body so it's a dog head on a man I don't understand yes the man is dead do you think that's where they made the mistake the problem is man's head on a dog's body they say so the dogs head on the man's body because if you saw the movie the dog's head was fine but its body was fucked up the man's body was fine but head was fucked up but look his his hands are dog hands. So I don't understand when they made that,

he's just a dog. Well that's probably why the movie's not as good. It takes you out a little bit. Dave Pilkey is without an E? Yeah, D-A-V. Is he Indian? Dove. Dove.

Why do I remember Captain Underpants? Is he Dove? I think that's Dove. Sam, we've had this debate before would you rather fuck a mermaid? That's top half human bottom half Fish yeah, or top half fish bottom half. I'd want the jugs in mouth The genitalia is meeting so you're fucking the fish for sure yeah, I'm getting away with you. Where would you? Avey I

Figured out a mouth pussy have you seen the mermaid pussy in lighthouse no, it's a disgusting mermaid pussy Oh is it yeah, you think it would be smooth and clean like a dolphin's, but it's disgusting and wide A couple rough patches of gravel in my day Gonna freak me down by the tail or is it where a human pussy would be you got Pilkey he survived Dude my mom was there Why are you laughing? Dave Pilkey survived Kent State yeah wow

Really yeah, yeah, yeah, oh you met the death of yeah, yeah pow pow Going to school there. Oh, yeah, the mean streets of Kent no yeah, that's right. Never forget what she said to those National Guardsmen They're on the lawn No, she was she had to leave she had to finish at Ohio University because of how scared she was Kind of a she's from over by her what's that kind of a pussy move by her? Yeah? Yeah, why do you laugh in the whole time? Yeah? This is really tickling you dad It's funny. Just thinking about my mom there being like What's going on?

And just her friends are getting popped Where she goes to lunch? Yeah Yeah, the more you think about it. You have to pull back the layers. Yeah, but she bailed and went to Athens. So I got arrested at the memorial for dropping a bowl. I didn't even smoke it. Thought you were protesting.

No. I thought I was shrouded by one tree. Wait, you just dropped a bowl in front of a cop? We were passing a bowl. Like a weed pipe? A weed paraphernalia. Yeah, and I got so nervous I just dropped a bowl in front of a cop we were passing a bowl you like a weed pipe a weed Oh, we'd paraphernalia. Yeah, and I got so nervous. I just dropped it, and I didn't run And this woman cop just walks toward me slowly like a villain and arrested me Yeah, you made that pretty easy for her. Yeah, yeah

Disorderly What they'd let you smoke weed even on the wrestling team or this was the last week of school So I got arrested on the first and last week. Oh No more drug tests. I'm gonna try this stuff and then yeah, this was a Kent State. I can't yeah nice Sam do you want to see the longest disorderly call of all time by a police officer? Um, how long is it? Actually someone Distance wise someone told me to oh, yeah, I've been thinking about it non-stop I thought it was like a three-hour clip. Someone measured it at the long. Yeah 21.74 meters Why do they give you the metric system. I don't know. You need to get out of here. Get out of here? Yes.

You guys are put- Oh, no. There we go. If you don't stop, we're getting you for disorderly. Cut the shit. Go then. It's on the other side of the map. You know our way.

Just do the f- out of her. Good. That's fine. Get out of here. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly.

Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Good that's fine get out of here Disorderly Way downtown We found this because she ran to our grit sign in Youngstown. We have a billboard no big deal Right to the mirror right to the Right in front of the stool Deal You have pretty sick disorderly all right yeah, I mean goth and girl are generous yeah, oh Yeah, look at that

Was longer than Patrick Holmes touchdown. Yeah, it's not a pat. There we go. Or maybe it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Wow. He still finds a dub. And this was in Youngstown, Ohio. Correct, home of grit. Where there's real crime. Yeah.

Yeah, huh. And the grit mural. Right, of course. Which is high traffic area. In a parking lot on the back of a bar? Yep. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. Disorderly. That guy was so good at it. I want to call it on you. I'll tell you what we have since he came last. We have a tunnel. Oh yeah. We do have a tunnel. What? I don't

know if we are able to use it. Did you see that neon sign in the front that says the tunnel? Oh? You didn't Great response No, I was in the cave with Jerry and he was asking about killed Tony for a half an hour Oh, what was he asked he loves killed Tony. He was wanted to know what it was like. Yeah, it was cool I've only seen Jerry online. Yeah Jerry's he's just a guy like us. He's the same. Yeah. Yeah He's just doing it and then and then the food arrived and me and Jerry are over there chopping it up And then everyone who comes in there's like hey Jerry should probably eat. Hey, you hungry everyone who comes in It's like yeah, we're just two fat men talking

We know there's food. We heard it come out of the car. Jerry likes his food. Jerry's hungry, yeah. You know, Youngstown's a tough place. Have you guys watched that, or hear that six part podcast about the history of crime in Youngstown? It's a big mob town, isn't it? Yeah, it's very Italian.

Yeah. I've resided there for a year and a half. I heard the explanation was, it's very Italian. Yeah, I've resided there for a year and a half. I heard the explanation was uh It's it's like halfway or almost halfway between New York and Chicago Chicago, New York, Cleveland Detroit They were all on the way So like the mob would drive from New York to Chicago wet their beak and they would want a spot to stop and not get You know in trouble with the law basically so like Youngstown became a haven for them. Yeah, bootleggers, they like that over there.

That's a story I was told. Yeah, I believe that. I've been told a lot of shit. No, I believe it. A lot of dumb shit. Are they still? Are they still? Still lingering there?

Are they still there? There's a lot of pizza places. Organized crime, is that what you're asking? Yeah. Italian food. No, it's just really depressing. Okay. Yeah.

One of the worst places I've been, because it still has that urban feel of a bigger city that once was, but it's decrepit. Post-industrial blight. It's like Toledo, too. Is there anywhere in the Rust Belt that isn't that? Detroit. Detroit's on the way back.

Detroit's number one. People are saying it's the Indiana of Michigan. Who said that? I think Savoie. That hurts so much more. Why? You live in Detroit and you said Indiana, that's... Have you been to Detroit?

I have. Okay. Many times, yeah. And? What do you think? I like it. Of course. You're talking to the wrong guy.

Brandon and I talk about this often. We're from places in the country that people shit on and we're like, generally, most of this country's awesome. Well, maybe the people who shit on them feel really bad about it as soon as they do. Do you ever think about that? I need to take, you know what? I think I need to take you to a high school

basketball game in Indiana, and you'll definitely think differently about it. And I'll take you to a rodeo in Eastern Colorado. I love Colorado. Colorado's awesome. You got it, well, not out where I'm from. Eastern Colorado's far and away the worst part of it. It might be the worst part of anything

Yeah, especially compared to the majesty and beauty of the mountains. Yeah, people think of Colorado. They're like oh you go skiing every day Yeah, no, I did skull apple and spit into a jug Flat is it's like Nebraska in Kansas right? Yeah, it's like ladies before the 60s Where's Fort Collins for Collins Northern Colorado? Okay? They have the atomic law. They do yeah, it's like a half hour atomic I'm in clay are in charge of knowing what time it is in North America the exact time yeah, whoa Yeah, if they sleep on the job we just do the duty. It's all fucked up. It's all fucked up Wednesday forever Oh, no, no yeah, four call I lived there for two years when my wife was in residency it was a good place

I like for Collins a lot to offer over there in the centennial state. Let me tell you it's not just Columbine Yeah, that's what I thought I thought it's just call of course you did an aurora. Yeah, everyone thinks it's a rora interesting, okay? Oh, is that the movie theater? I was the Joker guy. Yeah, you know he wasn't wearing the face paint No, I thought it was Bane was no air. I wore the movie with Bane in. Yeah, yeah, but he's the reason you can't do cosplay at movies, right? I like what they say we sent bad minutes. You're not allowed to make up ruined a lot of nerds first joke Yeah, and he didn't even wear the makeup his hair was just green. Yeah, you know his punishment was they didn't let him watch the movie Oh my god. I thought it was the prison. Yeah, no he was a hit in there Oh, there's that they put up they put put him in Arkham so he really loved it.

Is it the biggest prison in America and Colorado? I think in Florence, Colorado, the Supermax down there. It once housed Timothy McVeigh. You want to hear a funny thing my dad told me on the Super Bowl? When Timothy McVeigh was sentenced, the Oklahoma City bomber to her younger viewers, the judge literally said it's in the court transcript not cool Timmy He's right yeah, yeah bogus Tim Come on, bro the judge just thumbs downed him. Yeah, it was not mahalo Tim Yeah, no I shouldn't throw any stones. I apologize. I just, I've had, I'll say this. I think the worst comedy club for a while

was in the state of Indiana. And I had a lot of negative times there. No, it checks out. Indiana, we're not a funny state. Well, Indianapolis, a great comedy. Not a funny. You can see me there, March 1st, at the White Rabbit Cabaret.

Our best live show. Come down, throw batteries at me. Say hey, eat it pig, this is what you get for bashing the Indy. What is your favorite lesser known travel destination? Let's start with America. Lesser known travel destination in America, Pensacola, Florida.

Really? Love Pensacola. God damn it, you're so right. If I ever committed a crime and I had to get away, it'd either be Pensacola or Chattanooga. Wait, where's Pensacola on the far west? Is it like a redneck beach town or is there more to it? Oh yeah, oh yeah.

That's right below Alabama. Yeah, it's actually lower Alabama, is what they call it there. It's right by like Orange Beach. It's beautiful, man. And the beaches are white sand and abandoned for 10 months of the year. Yeah. That is nice.

Yeah, if you go in like September, October, you're by yourself. Dude, I've been down there, horizon to horizon, totally abandoned, me and my buddy smoking weed on the beach and then out of nowhere, a guy goes over on one of those like fan, like a boat, you're in the air, human kite, completely nude. Huge fucking flapping hog up in the sky.

You talking about parasailing parasailing yeah yeah I love Pensacola Joe Patty's fish market's great the azalea you can still smoke indoors it's a it's a really great place maybe not if you're like black but you know the Emmett Smith from there oh really we ran out of there didn't well they don't have an NFL or college team, he kinda had to. Yeah, no they don't. But yeah, then you have like... Oh, that's lovely.

Holy shit. Yeah man, Pensacola. When are you going to do Bahamas? Tomorrow. Tomorrow? You gonna do the show or are you leaving in the morning? I'm leaving in the morning. Are you doing the, like, the coast?

Gonna hit the beach? I'm not a big beach guy, I'll probably just sit at the pool the pool stay in inland or you should you should island hop on a boat tour Probably not okay? But I'll take that into consideration. Yeah, what are you gonna? Sit at a beach or see the city pool get drunk times the flight Coming like 10 I should be okay. Hopefully if you get me on the wheel today. I'm coming with oh yeah You have to you know I was telling Sam that I'm staying in a resort where there's a water park and the last time I went

My wife was pregnant with our third and I had to She couldn't go on the water slide So I had to literally go up and just ask families if I could go down with room for one more very uncomfortable grown man Just being like can I sit with you guys? Turkey leg and now I'm gonna get all but is there also an element of kind of being embarrassed that cuz I've done it before Well, your wife is like sitting there by the pool and you're like

Come to the water slide. No the water slide. I mean you got it. If you see a water slide, you got to do it It's like go-karts. Yeah, or you're dead Yeah, yeah God of water slide Okay I got bullied by a couple like young ins because there's that one That's just like you're by yourself and it's the shoot. I love that one scares the fuck out I don't like that one where I like count you down in the two

Yeah, you drop that I hate that one all the water goes up your butthole. Oh, yeah You're tight all the water goes up your huge pussy Monday we're not gonna have a show we're gonna actually respect a holiday Yeah, so big presidents guys big presidents guys Kate pinching her pussy like she's holding her nose when she's pushing her pussy in the air that's she's got the nose clamped for her pussy lips the person who follows you just splatters because there's no water in it

it's all soaked up sucking it all up slim cap from my bush skaters come by and take over the abandoned pool to the left he does one cannonball and then they can skateboard Skaters come by and take over the embed That was good stuff All right, let's just a couple of ads. Let's rip a couple of these. Raising Canes.

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into the drive through next. We're also brought to you by our friends at NASCAR. The adrenaline of Daytona 500 is something you must experience in person. There's nothing like witnessing the stars of NASCAR battle for position going 200 miles per hour on this two and a half mile speedway. 40 drivers will compete amongst the likes of Chase Elliott,

Ryan Blaney, Denny Hamlin, Ross Chastain, and Bubba Wallace as they try to make their mark To start a historic NASCAR season you won't want to miss this once-in-a-lifetime sporting event tune in on Sunday February 16th at 2 30 p.m. Eastern on Fox for the first checkered flag of the season at the iconic Daytona 500 So what one of your shows in Chicago Sam? I'm at Zany's Rosemont Valentine's and the 15th. Love that. The 14th of February. Yeah. Do you try and make like a Valentine's show a little bit tailored? Do like a lot of lovers? I feel like it's got to be a huge date night. Yeah no I have a violin guy on stage. Oh nice. I wear a tuxedo and I

hand out roses. Nice do you really? No. I would like believe it. No, I get up there and I say hey, what's her deal right stupid? Yeah, you know I do my act No, I but I it is nice. It's an easy way to not have to talk to your date for 90 minutes Yeah, I have comedy very on the way home. You can be like remember when he slapped his belly. That was great You didn't have to do it so much. Yeah, but yeah, go buy tickets Oh my god, yeah, Zanies at Rosemont especially for all the People watching who just forgot the Valentine's Day was Friday. It's an easy way out boys. Yeah, that's a I feel like that's a big That's our demographic. Yeah, that's our demographic like Super Bowl and in there like fuck

I've been married for 12 years doing this again. It's on the 14th this year god damn He always sneaks up on me Yeah, no, I it's a pretty easy way out comedy club Don't have to look at her Have a couple every now and then you go Yeah, you can like me you can also on here than he is right You can do the thing where you repeat the jokes after. Get some free laughs.

Good lighting. I'm going home. That guy was the funniest guy. Remember the guy in high school who just quoted old school? Oh yeah. Crushed it. That was how you measured humor. Yeah, the guy that won class clown just knew anchorman.

The guy that won class clown in my high school did a Cedric the Entertainer, exact five minutes of Cedric the Entertainer at a public speaking event and everyone was like David bruised the funniest guy alive Oh my god, Sam Talott never existed. Wait, he just took a whole- That's Ash? Was he a black guy? No. He was a white guy? He was a white guy doing it? Yeah, this was Eastern Colorado Ah Sam, I was uh, sounds a little like a Carlos Garcia impression That's- I was at the bar the other night Just being all cool. You know like I am yeah

Woman gonna come up to me. Just talk to you however. She won't talk to you. She don't say Brandon. I said yeah, that's my name She said Brandon this pussy tastes like pumpkin pie So don't ask no damn question like that ain't no no pumpkin pie. So don't ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never heard of no pumpkin pie. Kick it. So you've seen David Bruzak. Yeah. And look, I'm not besmirching Cedric.

He was the man. But I didn't like to see David receive the love and admiration. I was doing new stuff every day. Well, in high school? Yeah, I was working out new bits constantly damn. I had a brand new dance occasionally what yeah David brew David brew. What's he up to now? Hettisoni I think he's very fair He's actually the ambassador to China yeah, no, I don't know hopefully good hopefully better. What were your daily dances? I wasn't there, but every now and I think I invented dabbing in like 2004 what I used to do something called the funky Frankenstein

Which was this? But I didn't do the I didn't have that but it was more just like a You know it was like that guy you had in here He rebranded he's the phantom ad The Phantom? That was a K-Pon Phantom Rocks He's rebranded, he's the Phantom AD Really? What does that mean? He's the Phantom AD

I think he like, there was some kind of intellectual property argument Probably just property I know a groovy way to get out of this, Gould Yeah, there was a Marvel movie coming out Fuck! I just reposted him this morning, he was at the hedge from the movie Halloween shredden I think he's self-aware. I think it's postmodern. Yeah, yeah, oh he's very self-aware. Okay good Why is the hedge from the movie Halloween still around?

Do they erode the movies movie is from 1978. How long can a hedge last? I don't know. That's a well-maintained hedge. It's still there. I want to get into topiary hedges in my new home. I'm sorry? Like Edward Scissorhands? Yeah. Oh. Make your bush look like a giraffe? I think that's a thing no one's doing anymore. That's true. I haven't seen that in a while. Do they ever really?. That's true I haven't seen do they ever really I've ever seen there's a lion in Lincoln Park in somebody's front yard Yeah, Botanic Gardens. Yeah, but like when I was a kid I thought like that's how you knew you made it or you were in a good neighborhood is it's just like oh that bush is a rhinoceratops

It's like marble like birdbaths which you realize when you get a little there's like $150 at Home Depot Yeah, yeah, or the pillars whenever I see a house with pillars. That's still true. That's a wealthy part in Dearborn, Michigan There's a lot of homes with pillars and parapets Due to the demographics of that city and driving around in there can feel like a fucking fantasy What was the second word you say? Paralyzed pets. Yeah, it's like dog man I like after he takes you on and puts it in his own mouth

Yeah, no, it's like it's like the the bulbous kind of oh, I thought you said parrot. You're using a lot of words Yeah, don't use on their bulbous bulbous Explain it like we're fun. Yeah, it's like it's like the house has a big old pair of balls Tj Pull up parapets little pair of those It's a commercial that comes on a Nickelodeon show parapets Then you have to get it for your kid or she won't talk to you again parapet. I was gonna get my kid one dog Yeah, then I don't know what a parapet oh, that's not I thought a pair of that's a wall wall I thought that parapet was the thing that like they had in your explaining a wall like the the curvaceous pillars

Yeah, the one that you knew the word, but you didn't know what it was I don't I did I know what parapet is now seeing it But I've been using the word parapet wrong for maybe my entire right so what do you think you're looking talk? I want to see what you're seeing it's like the thing that you see like in front of mosques or like in your classical like Russian homes that are like, they go up like this and then they come to a little point at the top. Oh, like a dome. Oh.

Kind of like a dome. But like a curvy dome. A curvy dome. Okay. Not a turret. Those things? Like this type of thing. Yeah.

What are they called? That just might be a dome. Isn't it called a minaret? I think it's called a minaret. Oh, minarets. Minarets. Minarets. Why don't you say it like that?

Thank you. Minarets. Thank you. So I wasn't completely insane. But a bulbous dome is a thing. You're an idiot. I like that? Thank you. Minerets. Thank you. So I wasn't completely insane. But a bulbous probe is a thing. You're an idiot. I'm a moron. I've been exposed.

You tried to come here with all your big words. Yeah. Come in here, besmirch Indiana, and then I'm exposed. Minerets. Why would you want a minaret? Your houses have a minaret. There's houses... In Dearborn, Michigan.

Yes. Aladdin's Castle. Oh, because it's a really the Arab population is number In Dearborn, oh, yeah, it's like the biggest in the nation. I think uh huge. Yeah, I think it's the number one muslim muslim population What is a minaret? Set by what does it signify? I think it's too much money. Yeah Huh? I ran out of things to pie. Well, isn't that where the speaker is that plays like the call to prayer

Nice yeah Then right seems stupid he wants to stop talking about this is long shit Brandon. Yeah, I did If I'm being honest, I didn't mean to sigh that loud, okay loud sighs Muslim I didn't realize Spare me with their prayer I I'm gonna be haunted by saying Good. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna get in me. Do you know that you have Tommy Pope in hell with your gauntlet time?

He's he's very upset about everyone shook. No one will do it listen to this motherfucker Well, what ask him if he's gonna do the gauntlet today? Why would I do it? I've already no you all you have to I don't have to do Yeah, you have to oh do wait. Let me look up the bylaws to the yeah. Yeah. Yeah read that contract You fact yep, you have to what so I can go out there 50 pounds lighter You would still have the number one comedian time. It doesn't matter your time stone It doesn't supplant your other time like it just adds time. You can say supplant. Yep, okay Look, I'll get big cat or doogs or Marty fish your one about Brandon Marsh. I realize that if you do a word

I guess you are the number one comedian time and Stephen Kay is a comedian Yeah, but yeah, if you get a worst time rainy, it doesn't matter Sam. You're your your top time is still your top time Yeah, but Rainey's got him. So now he has to do it. What's rainy? He's rainy was incredible and he was so goddamn funny Who's oh he? You such small words to yeah like he loved Indiana he didn't bring up any man Just had I saw Does anyone here know what shady maple is yeah? Yeah, just put it together

Lancaster County, it's a buffet the buffet line is like two literally two miles long It's like a mega Walmart, but it's just a buffet inside. I want to see this. I'm not kidding It's massive and it's all run by Amish people. Yeah, and Mike Rainey just had a gathering there What if it is literally very straight the buffet line goes on for a thousand miles. It's insane Only one direction. That's the whole buffet is that building. It's massive. Been many a time. And he had a gathering there with his followers

for his DadMeet podcast and they had a huge banner and the DadMeet logo is like two dudes sucking each other off. Anyway, I just saw that yesterday. Shout out to my granny. I want to see that. Granny rules. I know. Yeah, no, he literally rules your gauntlet time.

Well, what's my time? 2.45. And what's his? 2.24? Yeah. Bernie, you still hitting the buffets? God. They're just not as, ever since COVID, they're not as out there and in your face.

Can I say something that's speaking about his logos? I'm wearing a Tisch County hoodie. Oh, Tishomingo. Oh, Tishomingo. Yeah, Tishomingo County up in the corner. Tish County basketball. And TJ pointed out that there's a screenshot of me where it looks like I'm wearing fish cunt. I just want to say.

It folded to look? Yeah, it's Tish. Oh, yeah, that looks like fish cunt. Oh, yeah, that's fish cunt. It's Tish County. That would be cool. So if you bang the mermaid, that's its side. That's what it is. Right. It's Tish County basketball County basketball whose fish cunt basketball. They'd sell some more merch a lot more. Yeah

Somewhere in this building there's a kid who's just like now graphic designing a fit concert live. Yeah on the store right now So shut the gauntlet up for I mean, I will do it a little do at the end I Thought I was gonna come in here and skate around Sam. I'm just gonna ask why are you being such a big bitch? Oh cool? All right great Fantastic line it up. I Had so many cool moves last time I did a fake out on the soccer goal. I broke that kid's ankle. He's gone He's gone. Oh, where'd he go? He's gone. He's gone. Oh, where'd he go Ted John? Oh, yeah

Yeah, he's John Gruden's Guy now, which by the way, I don't think I told this but he malice I don't reason he did that is he just fast-tracked bar soul sports where we went out to dinner was me Dave and Gruden And malice that was there. Yep. I was like the top dog here. Yeah, he's a top dog. Yeah, he's a top dog the regular Mike Rainey I think malice like is Gruden Yeah, they kind of think alike. I think he's become John Gruden so does he tweet for Gruden? I think so so he has his voice down pat I think he said that he tweets for Gruden all replies are Gruden okay. I asked him how do you like New Orleans? They go it's pretty nice. He did it. Yeah, so

Gruden tweets a lot of like opinions does Jake even run those past him first? I don't know probably not It's probably if I had to imagine it's probably similar to like Dave and Austin where Gruden will say something out loud And okay, he has the right to after that. Yeah, that will be just public domain Afterwards you might miss Gruden so much. I miss him. He's the best. He is. He is.

Good hang. It's gonna be a while, huh? He's the best. Yeah, but we did get, I did convince him that he's gotta come from Arch Badness. Oh, that would be fucking awesome. It's gonna be awesome. He's gonna be here for the first two days.

We gotta get Dayton in this tournament. They gotta win the eight and ten. Oh yeah, for in this tournament. They gotta win that for Dukes man Well for Gruden you see Dukes guy. Is he a dating guy? Yeah, that's right. No idea. He's got prison fucked again Oh, yeah, I saw that VCU stacking owls Still one of the funniest videos and I'd actually put it up there like top 10 random Barstool videos what's one Dukes crying? No top ten random bar stool videos. What's one? Dukes Crying?

No, Dukes. Pushed the MVP shirt? No, Dukes being a Dayton fan and they having a rivalry with VCU and then like a 60 year old man making a selfie video being like, Dukes, you like that prison fucking we gave you? You've never seen this?

I don't know if I've seen this. Oh my god, we gotta play it. It's just a random dude who just decided he was gonna call out dude So Diggs bro Just to let you know we really enjoyed bending you over Spanking that ass and fucking you and your whole team Yet again And fucking you and your whole team yet again

Did that prison Spanking did that prison prison fucking get good. Yes, it was you enjoyed every minute of it didn't you baby? Don't mess with who runs to a 10 bitch It's so good Crying and it's the wrong tone. Yeah, it's very serious Australian This is like three or four years ago Never seen that and just like the end being like you're like, oh man, this must be a huge it don't forget who runs a 10

Yeah, I thought it a 10 that man was victimized in the worst way And now he's saying the things the men said behind it. You're starting to like her gurgitating things. He heard bro Banking I mean fucking yeah What was the score in the game to I wonder if was it actually I don't know what game that was Three or something yeah, did they actually win by 40 you like that prison fucking fuck you yeah We had Dukes brought that guy. I mean he Looks like an anonymous troll. He's like you know what I'm gonna put my face out Prison fucking I when you say Dukes video. I just think him crying. Yeah that too. We should the MVP should have been

That's my favorite number one. It's my favorite bar stool piece of content ever Oh, yeah, that was a prison fucking yeah Dayton was up at halftime in second half. Yeah the championship Show show the Dukes crying and see if Sam can guess what the context is Dukes is our I don't know what's Dukes do everything what cross he spells Dukes with two zeros He's a frat a frat boy a Dayton frat boy in frat boy. He was basically built in a lab for Stoolies okay, then he got a job mm-hmm. He was born with a white backwards hat. Yeah So deep in his eyeball. What do you think happened?

I think that his brother was serving overseas and they just found out that he was alive. Yup. That was Dayton beating Nevada in the first round game. Okay. Well, the Wolf Pack has been the bane of the fly this move dating five wins away from a national I love it wow I'm glad it's online forever so deep in his eyeball poke his own eyeballs out oh no how old was he when Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I live in Detroit. I'm a Broncos fan for sure, but I live in the same neighborhood as well. I shouldn't say that Hey whoops anyway, but didn't he move yeah, he did move. That's where you live in the new one or the old one I live in Michigan

But yeah, no I love him you see a house with rhino shaped bushes. You know it's gonna be yours Yeah, I'm gonna have to get bigger bushes It's uh he that when the when the Lions lost like the Paul cast over that city I've never seen a whole city wrecked like that How was it expressed it was? Well, it's the Midwest so it was a lot of guys going like this at the grocery store Lot of guys, you know just like looking into the sun for a couple extra minutes. Don't get angry.

What are you gonna do? Yeah. Fucking. Ugh. And then I did a commercial for like a regional auto, Cure Automotive, and Jameer Gibbs and Amon Ross St. Brown were there, but it was the Tuesday after they lost. Oh. So it was like, we were like so stoked.

Oh, I can't wait to see them after the big game. They just came in and they were like on their phones muttering. They were clearly very upset Yeah, you you just moved to Detroit and you're already doing regional auto ads. Yeah, okay, that's pretty sick That's like are you in it with them? Yeah, it's the ad out right now. I don't know they didn't show it at the Super Bowl Oh nice, so look at this horrific photo of me. You look so much bigger than me. Yeah, what is that photo? I don't know who you are. You look like the kid from the Sam Locken Forum. Yeah, it's like, hey, this is the face of CTE.

Yeah, you do look like, hey, we got Amon Ross Saint Brown. We got Jameer Gibbs, and we have the guy who won the 1956 NFL Championship. Yeah, Sam the Sandwich Champion. He was the biggest guard in the entire league. He's the only man to ever eat a helmet Look how little Tommy We find the the commercial I don't think they didn't air it during the Super Bowl and that was the entire talk of my wife's family

What are they gonna show your commercial? And then they didn't. Well, they maybe regionally aired it. No, I mean, we were in Michigan waiting. I wanted to show my niece, yeah. Can you find it on YouTube? I don't know. I've never seen a commercial with me in it. Maybe because I look like that in the commercial. And they're like, they don't want me.

People aren't gonna want to buy stuff off of Tantor, the egg-biter. I look mental. I look mental. I look AI. Yeah, and I was also wearing makeup and it gave me like a straight... That's you with makeup? Yeah, it's gonna be the color of your skin

when you come back from the Bahamas. That's how I look. Tan well. Then I fell asleep with it on. Ruined my pillow. It was not a big victory for me. Sounds like a horrible day. I mean, and they were sad

and then Jameer Gibbs was just over there on his phone every now and then he would whisper, gas chamber. Do I think of the song lyric? I'm not sure. They were talking a lot of nasty things about other wide receivers, which I enjoyed. I love that. Yeah, that was cool.

I never hung out with big sports guys. I've hung out with the Harlem Globetrotters twice, and that's it. They're big sports guys. They're the best. Mark Titus is the only white guy ever drafted by the Harlem Globetrotters twice and that's a big sports guy They're the best mark titus the only white guy ever drafted by the harm for real It's a fact not see like that's like the best form of family fun entertainment I've seen the Globetrotters at least like 12 times. Did you ever think about joining them? I did I called their bluff?

Yeah, oh, they drafted me, but they didn't want me huh they wanted the publicity and I knew that so I called their bluff and tried to Try try to actually go on the team and they were like no. Yeah, they're like, please please just yeah How do they do their draft? Could you teams in the league? They just say you're drafted. I had no idea this happened And yeah, I I saw like the press release that they had chosen to draft me And I didn't know what it was but I leaned into it I was like yeah, let's fuck yeah, let's do it That's they sent me the jersey. I have it in I have it in the mostly sports Do you know the Harlem Globetrotters? It's a shark one on the back. Whoa, it was gonna be my name

Did I just get fucking drafted? Did you ever think of joining the Washington generals and getting back at them? Taking them no, they're not very good. I did my I did my research the Washington generals are not good It's not a franchise you want to play. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's the coaching or the general Somebody needs to go save I want to play for a winner We're no I went to I went to training camp those it was on Long Island and Yeah, the whole time it was very awkward because they knew that I I knew that they didn't want me there They knew that I knew that they didn't want me It was but I was just a stalemate and I went through the entire thing and it was just as dumb in the sense that

Like we were they were actually practicing all of the I mean, of course, I guess I guess it's obvious But in my mind it was gonna be like more basketball. It wasn't, it was a lot of like, all right, now this is how we, this is how we do the like, fake a pass and like stop it on your fingertips. Yeah. You know, it was like choreography.

It was like, it was more circus and choreography. Yeah. It's like how to pop out of a cake and hit a three pointer. And then there was one point where they were like, we know you can shoot, so why don't you just go ahead and shoot some half quarters and show us what you got I've never I've never been in a basketball practice. They're like don't you just throw up 20 half quarters real quick You know that thing you do when you're dicking around

Prince we do that the whole time. This is a serious drill God damnit Titus get your head in the fucking game half quarters Come on. I last time I saw the Globetrotters. They were up by 12 at half and I bet my buddy I was like, alright, I'm gonna take the Trotters Minus ten. All right, and he was like, okay, and then they of course only won by one point. No Second half total collapse. It's like that Dayton game The generals were just giving them of prison fucking They used to actually play straight-up exhibitions against college teams back in the day. They would they would actually play as

It like regular I went to one of those Cedric Sabalas was with them. Yeah Would they win like they would crush them? Yeah, there's sometimes losing college teams didn't have the five-point shot the Trotters didn't know what to do mm-hmm We should do a sketch for outside of Washington General's Stadium demanding for a rebuild. I love calling them the Trotters sell the team Back to the city I Would love a General's dynasty I

Would love a general's dynasty Son Ming Ming oh my god. Oh, yeah, was he real tall they took they took messy right after me Yeah, the year after they get one draft a year Yeah, dude perfect they draft a dude perfect the whole thing slumber it This is right. Oh, they drafted man. Tell all the other white guys Monika Davis, so you were the first was I the first out of the pioneer t-bo You need a job No You wouldn't when t-bo mania was happening

Were you as a Broncos fan like? Yeah, yeah, God God's got us no no really because I there was a moment I was like does God have no I didn't have a religious awakening I thought was quarterback but dude that whole run was like yeah it might be God I don't know I mean we were so used to winning for a long time and now we're not so I think it's like hey come on X is fun dude us making the playoffs that was a gift from God. No one saw that coming.

Except for some people who had over seven and a half wins. Ooh. And then I lost it all in the Super Bowl. Oh, you went with Patrick Holmes? Why? No, no, I bet Saquon anytime touched down my entire bankroll. Ah.

Trying to get the 50%. You were never up. Yeah. That wasn't the worst loss I had. I had futures on the. Point toss? No, women's Olympic figure skating team That joke hasn't been working That's been bumming everybody

It takes a second. I would have laughed. I think I think I know what happened. Yeah, it does. That's like a delayed punch Yeah I'm retiring it here. Yeah, I won't be seeing that you won't be hearing that at Rosemont Mike Rainey would have never tried that joke. Oh Rainey's a pig you should follow Rainey on Twitter Is he he's horny right? Okay, he's got an, right? Publicly horny. Yeah, yeah, he's very, very horny. Oh yeah, he's got an OnlyFans addiction. I don't, I mean.

He told us. Oh yeah, no, he literally told us that. Yeah. But he's like kind of addicted to not like, he's like addicted to talking to him. He's a micro investor. Yeah. And him and his wife are hot and heavy.

Good for them. He's a regional scout. What does that mean? She's hot, he's heavy. Yeah. He just tweets every time he gets any kind all and it's constantly it's constant for him No, it's like a Tuesday morning at 930. He's like just got sucked. Good morning everybody. Oh, just got some pussy. Yeah. Yeah Rainy I can't believe it's rainy

What do you mean rainy having to compete with rainy No What do you mean? Rainy, having to compete with rainy? He's not saying it rained outside. No, no, no. It's gonna rain blood when I get done out there in the gauntlet. So if I don't do better, going for a cop's gun. Disorderly. Brandon, do you want to do Stephen Singer? Oh, Stephen Singer!

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That's ihastevinsinger.com. Very good. Okay, thanks. I got to say it twice. Yeah. You crushed it. By the way, what's up with Steven Che? He's on his 28th vacation of the year? He does take a lot does take a lot of

Mike and Ike's are a tasty candy, but who's bars? Who's the barstool equivalent of Mike and Ike? What is wrong? I like Mike and Ike's the blue box. Okay, so who's the barstool equivalent of Mike? What the fuck does that mean? I don't know. That's what the question says. He's on his shit right now When's the last time you had a tamale the food not the candy Oh, he's got he's got candy brain. Did he think of Mike and Ike because of yesterday we were doing the rhyming. Yes Yes, that's exactly Boomer doom and that was one of his I want to break this down. Who is the Mike and Ike of Bart? Well, how would you tear Mike and Ike's amongst regular, start there? Interesting. It's a lot of quantity.

Good framework. It's like kind of a deep cut, but people go, they rarely have it, but when they do they go, yeah. It's not a candy you finish in one sitting. I think it might be you. Compared to other candy. I was sitting here, I was like, that's kind of me. I've never, I don't think I've ever had a Mike and Ike.

You gotta get the blue box. It's like the bad Good and Plenty. No, Good and Plenty's the bad Good and Plenty. I like a black licorice treat. Oh, yeah. Well what? Makes one of us. What What y'all be talking about good and plenty weird color palette on those boxes Yeah, it's a brown monochromatic. Yeah Yeah, it's like very 60s. You don't see that much how much bread. Do you think he per year zero? Are you doing a live Jay prep sheet? Yeah, okay? Yeah, of course why would what world would?

Is per year. Per year, second most food? How much water you drink per decade, would you say? Oh, that's a really good question, Titus. Per, in any given 27 year span, what's the most amount of? What's the length of your trimmed fingernails lifetime? You think you drink

a pond's worth of water every 10 years no I don't actually a lot of water how much is in a pond a lot well the brain is on as well that's a lot of pretty big but I think I could finish Brandon's pond in a year that's a 90 acre lake big enough straw Wow that would be a cool end of hundreds of that to like stand in front of an Olympic size and see how a life wrapped would be cool that would be a cool end of hundreds of that to like stand in front of an Olympic size We'll see how a life wrapped would be cool. Oh, that'd be good. Tate after dark it after dark So we can draw drink the pods to sit on Brandon's dock a big straw. Yeah, you're gonna drain it on but like Yeah, I'm trying to drink like three gallons today, so I can yeah, we're getting pretty nervous

Yeah, so Sam these guys tonight. They're losing They have to lose 30 pounds total before we leave when this tonight What and we just stay here we might have to call in a ringer I? Got some manjarro in my backpack. Yeah. Oh, yeah, what is that instant? What's now? It's a it's a type of ozempic Do you find her wanted to fuck Charles Barkley one. Yeah. How are you gonna do that? We are going to drink a lot of water beforehand, not pee way in. Okay. My plan is to lose the first five pretty easily, but you know I'm gonna be sweating a lot, and that's when it gets tough, the last five. So you're gonna be

in the sauna sweatsuit sauna suits Yeah, moisturizer to open the pores. Oh, I didn't know that black flag, but you can't if you lose ten you're still there, right? Yeah, that's what I'm worried that 30 total. Yeah, I lose 10 Tate loses eight Nick loses nine that last three for me is gonna be a symphony of bitches But I'm Excited in a way there is no feeling like thirst there is no feeling like extreme. Oh, yeah It'll give you the most will to live. It's the best of getting a drink The guy that tweeted out I said chew on skittles, but spit them out

No, I won't do shit or just get some jaw celery you bottom line is we have to sweat as much as possible You guys just sweat they were gonna. I feel like around 2 a.m. We're gonna have to call in is that an official rule no shitting because I heard no you guys you mentioned we get shit I'm trying to have you not shit, so we're starting it off with a I don't know if this is I'm gonna spoil it We're starting off with a laxative challenge where we take a lax. Okay and you can't go shit until we complete a Lego set. We're all getting a random Lego set. And uh. Oh, God.

Man. The issue with the shitting preload is you don't know if you're gonna pass it during your challenge. Cause you could load up with a bunch of fibrous food now, but you don't know if that BM will arrive like when it's gonna be delivered. Yeah.

Takes about 36 hours. It takes 36 hours? But if you, yeah, yeah, did you pre-plan this? Laxative shits take 36 hours I thought it was like 30 minutes in general from when you eat to when it comes out. Yeah drink some vizin, right? Yeah, what is oh yeah, the movies will have you believe it's like incident. No, I've done it and it's if you do the work goes Yeah, if you pop it up there Suck it out. I'm worried we're gonna get to like an emergency situation

We have a whole night if you drink a lot of water before like you're and you just don't You you can hold a lot of water, but don't get water poisoning. Yeah, that's Stream on you guys are just fingering each other Three more pounds finger at each other's but yeah three more pounds I'd imagine yeah it's gonna be hard after we get the initial bulk out of us well you give us on a suit yeah yeah gonna get on the treadmill yeah yes you should convince Tate Diaz to shave his head bald he that won't do anything hair doesn't weigh too much I guess you should put a ton of beads in your hair you guys are gonna have to I'm his head bald. He won't do anything. Hair doesn't weigh too much, I guess.

You should put a ton of beads in your hair. You guys are going to have to. I'm going to have to try it. Pounding off is a must. I was texting wrestling friends for reassurance that it'll be easy. And they're like, no, that's going to suck still. But doable.

The gallon of water is eight pounds, right? Is it? Maybe it is easy. I don't even know what to think The I'm getting nervous because some people are like you guys might die so this is Involved with the water that could be dangerous if you're gonna drink like three gallons of water I've been eating sunflower seeds all morning Why? Sunflower seeds are gonna do nothing. I thought that would help me retain water for right now the salt yeah, mm-hmm Well, how easy do you think it would be for Tate to lose weight since he just put on 47 pounds fat

It's the initial like whatever four to seven Easy, it's still this is suck down. Yeah, you're not burning as hell takes forever. Did you hear how he gained all that weight? No apparently Okay, he didn't order food or groceries or anything to his home for like seven months He's only been eating food from here. This was shocking. He told us this on a dogwalk The past ten months he has not grocery shopped. He took home free lunch every day But I guess he was squirreling away any little nugget of food he could fuck from like gambling streams and everything Scrolling all the extras

It's easy to gain weight here. That's like isn't Blutman contemplating living here for a hundred days I think that got shut down it by who By who? He said it got shot down. It's already day 40. Okay. I'm saying yes. Is this Tate? No, that's Lutman. Oh, okay.

No, he's right next to you. Jimmy Beast has a guy doing a year in a home. Wait, who shut it down? Lutman, get in here. He said it got n got them it got nixed His brother shut it down. Yeah, I saw this guy, and I thought he might be a ghost no Butman is a one-of-one guy. We've got yeah, okay now. He'll take us back in time to see old Christmases What man is our? Batman hey, I'm Sam

I mean, but hey, I'm Sam But yeah, who shut it down it was a mutual shut down me McCarthy and the whole Productions well no really just he and me Too many obstacles for what how like cuz I'm streaming 24 7 non-stop 100 days Yeah, people have private conversations stuff. There's business. There's meetings kind of hard to navigate around that That was the main obstacle. Could you go and mute for a big chunks? Why do you have to be live 24 7 like you do 10 days? Brandon 10 days. I'm sorry. I already do that essentially like what's the point of that?

100 days is like a big milestone. It's funny Ram people tune on like day 63 you grow it outside the bar still audience everything I love the idea jack mccarthy loves the idea, but there's like too many obstacles You mean like office-wide meetings where you can't avoid no like if I gotta go to a meeting It's more so like people have like private conversations and other people, not me, don't wanna be susceptible to being on stream like 24 seven. It's not really fair to them. So why don't we build you a cove? Why don't you not do a cove?

Yeah, a cove. Let's build you a little cove here. A cove's kinda cool. What about a mirapet? A parapet? A parapet. A minaret. Minaret, what's that?

I think we get stoned. I don't know what's that? It's a puppet that you can figure out. I don't know what a minaret is. I would love to figure it out. I mean, like, if you have a meeting, you could just put the camera on the outside of the meeting. Yeah, like, I'm not worried about that stuff. Like, could just mute it and people could watch me in a meeting or something, like who cares?

It's more so other people in here. Like, there's a lot of other people in our office that I have to... But they know that you're live. Yeah, but so when we were at varsity camp and Donnie was carrying it around, wanton don, I think people... But he didn't tell anyone he was live. Forgot about it. But people will forget... If he did it in a hundred days, don't you think people will forget about it and just say whatever? That's the worry, yeah. What about glass cube? Oh, what I can cage in a glass cube and then nothing none of the outside

You know insider information can get into the cube and you're just like on half court in a cube for a hundred days We'll give you water and protein cubes And if you need if you need your privacy you can pull down curtains a Curtained glass cube could you can still see a cube apartment on the other side of the court? I would I would love that who's that? Oh, that's the man in the cube and like I would do that What you have for a week we could do like a quarter thing where we could feed you sour squirms out of our palm Last cubes funnier Froggy candy if you want little froggies we could do it

You could have a dispenser and when you do tasks you could receive your froggies What about a week of glass cube That's the Clemmer strength. Yeah, but but Clemmer was by himself solitary like it'd be funny if he was just sitting out here Yeah, we could tap on the glass Glass cube and you guys can come up and like pop shots at him scare the shit out of him whenever you want wake up I wouldn't get scared you wouldn't get scared of being shot at it's a bullet. I know it's bulletproof I'm again. It's you know it's bulletproof. There's one inch of it. That's actual real glass Yeah, one inch square no the shotgun spray yeah, you'd have to be careful

That's gonna kill the chrisse carlson romano from even steven's oh my god She got shot in the face the other day shot in the head Her face was perfect What was with a clay gun Lewis was behind it? Yeah, shooting pigeons and like a shot fired back at her face She's a second error, but it could just go backwards. She was there was other people there at this party for her husband I don't know if they were with the party But they accidentally turned and like shot her in the face and a bunch of the little pallets Jesus Christ

Yeah, one one stuck behind her eyeball. Did she bleed for hours? She looks bad. A little bit, it looks tough. Beans was behind her and they got scared. Oh yeah, she got shot in the face. I think it was Beans that did it. Christy. I know.

What if you're in the cage with Christy Carlson Romano from Even Stevens? Now we're talking. That's, I don't know. The original CCR. How old are you? I thought you were timeless. 26. 26?

His dad was one of the brains between Boy Meets World. Right? Really? You know Writer Strong? Yeah. What's he like? I don't remember. He seems cool. He reads a lot.

They're all nice and cool. I don't really remember, though. No one made a move on you, right? No. Mr. Feeny? Yeah. Feeny Cool Mr.. Feeny yeah Is Feeny alive yeah still oh hey Brandon good to hear they're not still We're gonna put him in a cage a cube a cube yeah

His water should be like one of those durable things I feel like we could figure this out, though. If you just wore like a shirt that said, I'm live right now. That's what Nick said. I pitched us a glowing sign above him. Yeah. Live. Like over here. Yeah.

Says, I'm live. Record, yeah. Do you really want people watching you for 100 days? That's kind of creepy. How will you relieve yourself? I feel like I just want to do stuff that other people haven't done. I feel like do stuff that other people haven't done I feel like that's something that people haven't done is kind of funny and I think is

Accomplishable and there's a goal at the end or whatever I think it'd be funny to have like challenges and stuff every day. Maybe you don't stream the full 24 hours Yeah, I feel like just doing a recap video at the end of each day would suffice that you could do it that way too No sound you want a hundred challenges. I don't know I We're in the baby stages Start with the cube man the cubing bad cubes good, and then you can cube can be sponsored It can be some kind of glass company Could be I kind of like the cube. I'm not gonna. Like you get it steamy in there. You have a little shower

I need TVs though. You can have all the Okay, a hundred ball this days No watching ball. He can't do it. That's that's for four nations is coming up. I mean he's got too much ball to watch I'm a wheels guy NASCAR we can get you on wheels in there your wheels guy Spider won me again to it last year got into it NASCAR Sponsored the barge this week. So wheels Like yeah, love wheels. Okay, Josh Barry this week, right Brandon. What about what about you? Watch Luca last night?

No, I don't care. She doesn't watch the Association. I love that. I love when he says Association. That's all I know messing with this It's not interesting. Yeah, I was at a DraftKings meeting and your name came up and they were like, what's this deal? And I was like football tennis Hockey no association and golf and golf No golf or you like golf love golf. Okay, that's fun. Golf's very fun. You seem like a curling guy Fun. Golf's very fun. You seem like a curling guy. Like esoteric sports might be your thing. No, I don't like those, the Olympic sports,

I guess I would quantify them as. I hate all that, I don't like the Olympic. He likes balls. You like hockey? Yeah, but hockey's not like, I wouldn't call it an Olympic sport. Well, it literally is. Javalan, but the-

Javalan. The Javalan, yeah. What? Javalan? Whatever. Big cat, don't stop, it's the Javalan the javelin. Yeah, what? Alright, whatever. Okay. Stop. It's a job on Liam language barrier Else is there the badminton? Yeah, I don't care about that stuff all stuff What is your favorite part of sports like the actual play the outfits? Or do you like the back story just ball? Everything you like every yeah the whole party

I like I like going on the Wikipedia's and right learning stuff. That's my favorite Yeah weeks, but it's fun. Yeah in the moment Like I like all that stuff. I like watching like the results the upsets is everything. I don't know it's just yeah No, I was like, but yeah, and the purest fan. Yeah It's fun. He's got a rap song. All right. Well, we'll think about it more We'll figure out I love this cuz I want to make it happen. Okay, I was looking out for everyone else Yeah, I appreciate that but we'll figure it fuck everyone else I love the idea of you having like a little airstream trailer over there

Yeah, like a little trailer park that you live in. Do you think anything will change after those hundred days? No, yeah, nothing changed after the like 36 consecutive hours I don't think there's a big difference Hundred days is a lot. Can you go without no sunlight? Yeah, that's like that's been training his whole life. That's more. I hate the Sun. Yeah, true I do too brother man's ancient enemy Brandon I see I die on that the Sun's the worst thing Well, I don't I don't hate the Sun it just bothers you the Sun hates you Sun hates me

Yeah, just the Sun hates me and I hate the Sun Mutual you think you're tougher than the Sun. Also, I've done the hundred days inside thing plenty before Like hundreds of times Maybe went outside to get the mail or whatever, but like the pandemic thing happened, I would say honestly legit, I think I was outside more during the pandemic than I was like before it, at some point. So like high school, like post high school, do you think you've done more than 100? You lived in Vegas, right?

Yeah, it was very hot. Where'd you live? Someone nice. It's a good part. I lived at 95 and Jones He doesn't know where that is don't go anywhere. He was inside by Arizona Charlie's. Oh, yes, you know chucks Yes, lazy chucks work you get bad to get good That sounds familiar What if you had some kind of noise canceling device like it was like like em emitting a horn whenever you walked around so no one could, you couldn't hear anyone. If someone is doing insider trading over here, you're like, meh.

I do understand his fear. He's saying meetings and stuff. It's literally just that Nicky Smokes and Jersey Jerry working this off. Well, if I'm in the cave and Nicky Smokes up into rave and that's yeah that's I understand that fear and that's a real fear for me that I live every day okay we'll figure it out okay sounds good thank you as long as you're fine with maybe three to four content employees would get fired while you're streaming these hundred days for what they said what you caught them doing. You're gonna catch random slurs. Again, can we just start with 10 days?

Also, it's the three to four that we can afford to. So easy. 10 is not easy. What if you do a staggered reward system where if you reach 10, you get a certain reward. Like if he wants to be a millionaire. Then if you want, yeah, exactly. Yeah, but his rewards would literally be

if you reach 10, you get 10 more days. Okay, why would you lock that? I like the reward thing and I thought of like a wheel Rewards would literally be or reach 10 you get 10 more days Rewards thing and I thought like a wheel and there'd be a little sliver on the wheel Yeah, it's been and it would say I can't eat there in the night So I'd be tough, but I can't eat there because the wheel said like your own load Yeah, I do the ten days Brandon. What was it two weeks ago, right? I was in here. Well, think about I was in here for from Sunday to pretty much Tuesday for NFL playoffs, that stream, watchable stream, whatever that the same week I was here for Hank's thing. I was going to be here the entire time of Hank starts. So three

days, 10 days pretty easy though. Like that wasn't hard. He's got ten days no problem. Yeah that's too easy. A hundred's too hard. Well that's why I told Jack like we could do fifty or sixty. We could do two months but we don't think the same allure is there. A hundred's just such like. You want to come into this office and not leave until late May. I don't, we would set up, I think it'd be funny to have to do my birthday here. So it would be set up to probably end before US Open. Golf or tennis? We'll call it tennis.

So you won't do it in the dead of summer? Yeah, again, another great time to not be outside. Yeah, in Chicago. Yeah. I think glass cage dangling from the ceiling. Maybe a Christmas angel shit. great time to not be outside. Yeah, in Chicago. Yeah. I think glass cage dangling from the ceiling. Maybe a Christmas angel shit. And then they can pull you back up if need be, hide you up there.

You can be the phantom of the bar stool. I could sleep in the kayak too. You can sleep wherever you want. Maybe like a little tunnel system like a gerbil. That would be cool. Could you do some mulch? Would you like mulch? Yes.

Would you love mulch? Maybe some sort of bedding you adore mulch? Hey. I think you're in the cage all day and then at night you have free room when no one's in here doing goodness. We lose him sometimes. Yeah, he's in the walls.

He's up in the vents. Yeah. Keeps away the pests. Put a bell around him. Ooh, a bell would really annoy me. Okay, now we're talking. Yeah, let's get him a bell. You had a sweet deal here. All right, we'll figure it out, Lee. Yes, okay, a sweet deal here. I will figure it out. Yes, okay. Goodbye

Have not given up damn Woutman number one you guys always have like a weird little freak in your curio closet whenever I'm here He's the number one. I love him. She's one of like he said he's like on a class Where'd you find him Clemson just showed's, he's a one of, like he said, he's a one of a kind. Like, conical-ass. Where'd you find him, Clemson? He just showed up one day. No, he DM'd me like three, four years ago, basically just been like, can I have a job? And I was like, keep working.

And he has a, he started a Twitter account called No Context College Football, where he would just get, he watches every game. He knows everything about every game. Every game. Every NCAA team. And I followed him when he had like maybe three or four thousand followers, and we got to talking.

I was like, yeah, eventually. And then when we moved here, we hired him, and he's the best. His grandfather's ashes are actually upstairs. Yeah, we have given back to grandma. When his dad comes and visits, we have three generations of Blutmans here. And his brother just walked by, so I could go. Yeah. His brother. They're multiplying. Yeah. We're knee-deep in Blutman's. We cornered the market on Blutman's. We are covered up in Blutman's. Yeah. No other company can say they have the amount of

Blutman's we have. He's your secret weapon. He literally is. And it was funny because I went to a dinner with like the CEO of DraftKings and like the higher-ups They were like what's that Blutman guys deal? Yeah, you know get us special Yeah, he's our guy. I think if you had that guy in a cage you're entertaining. You know big sponsors. They can come over Do whatever they want in the cage curtains down yeah, have do whatever they want to yeah, you should guys settle on around him Nothing Yeah curtains down yeah have do whatever they want to yeah, you should you guys settle on around him? Nothing Working on it yeah, okay, if we have like little bags of food that the visitors could feed him Oh, yeah fun, and they pay be careful. We still spit don't stand behind them keep your fingers away from his mouth

My so just time to a pole do that that work. He's up for anything as long as he doesn't have to go outside ever again. That's the truth. Yeah. This is him trying to avoid summer. Uh-huh. Well, Chicago summers, man. They suck. Yeah, but you ride a bicycle in Chicago in the summer,

you feel like God. Yeah? Yeah. That's a good feeling. I love it. I heard Detroit's pretty good, too. I had a friend that lived in the Marina District or something. It's like Venice almost.

Detroit has a Venice. That can't be Venice. It or something. It's like Venice almost Detroit has like a Venice That's can't be it's true. It's like everybody lives on the canals and like parties on their boats all summer Yeah, I heard it rules. They have big like Boat chain parties that go out for like miles where you can walk from boat to boat to boat. Yeah, that's awesome Is Michigan like the state that's most proud of their home state Michigan? Oh, dude. They're insane about it. They love yeah, yeah Texas So they love Texas they do yeah, but Texas didn't like come here to bounce back Michiganers love me upstate New Yorkers hate New York Cityers. Yeah, right

You have pure, Michigan. Mm-hmm. Does the UP have a rivalry with the mitten? No rivalry with Poseidon Okay, so funny. The UP is just not Wisconsin. I know makes no Canada Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean Canada, but it really should just be Wisconsin. It's attached cause yeah It's like it's like our hat, but they wear it Hmm think about it that way. So you put your hat on what's gone? That would make Wisconsin very ugly though It's true. It was bad shape it be very machine It should just be its own state. Yeah, I like 50 you like 50 It's good. Yeah, you don't don't say get rid of one you could get rid of one if

You could compound Why not get rid of Rhode Island this is You could compound Should be one New Hampshire there Dakota should be one Vermont, New Hampshire, you know, North South Dakota, my new Dakota I do very different. It's something Connecticut Connecticut, Rhode Island Also Delaware do we need Absolutely be also Delaware do we need them? No we don't know I love I met a guy who was living in Delaware over in New Orleans, and he was like oh where you where you live He's like Delaware. I was like oh, he's like yeah It was a really bummer of a conversation a corporation yeah, but they're now moving to Vegas I think the corporations good was We're just gonna kill Delaware

America's filing cabinet. Mm-hmm Delaware I just think Wayne's world just affected my views of Delaware forever look I'm in Delaware. Hi That's it it's the only story was written I've never done stand-up in Delaware, that's the only one you've got really Yeah, that's the only state you've never done stand-up. Uh-up. You've done it all 49 except Delaware all 40. Yeah, 49. Holy shit. Huh? That's pretty cool. It's not bad. I mean, I was just trying to make it on a staller. Are you just Actually, you should just start putting that on your billboards the only man who's never been to Delaware never performed You know, I have been looking for something to put on those billboards. Yeah The only man who's never been to Delaware. Never performed in that.

You know, I have been looking for something to put on those billboards. Yeah, 49 states, but I'll never go to Delaware. Because right now it's I love Steven Singer. Yeah. Dude, people in Detroit only do business with billboard people. Literally my mortgage loan guy, my realtor,

my insurance company, they're all billboard people. Your abortions. Oh yeah, yeah. Billboards. The abortion billboards are always it's protected in Michigan Billboards are you hear that lady billboards billboards are protected There's a big one that says like big truck law big truck lawyer And it makes me laugh because I just think about a truck like in court

closing statements Do you like the time zone Michigan times and always fucks me out? I love the East Coast time zone well in the summer it's awesome because I Went in vacation in New Buffalo this last summer You take a ferry there you take the ferry and not a drove But it's nice because it's like it doesn't get dark till like 10 o'clock. Mm-hmm All the way. Yeah, I've never lived in the East Coast time zone before It's fun leaving but coming back back, your day's over.

And you get on a plane at noon. Reese's, by the way. Oh, yeah. And then you got to, then you're going to have to do the gauntlet. Can I do the gauntlet tomorrow when I'm slept? I flew in. I came here from the airport.

Reese's peanut butter cup. You can do the gauntlet again tomorrow, yes. Reese's peanut butter cups are the perfect combo of chocolate and peanut butter. Reese's peanut butter cups are the perfect combo of chocolate and peanut butter Reese's peanut butter cups may be even more perfect with a layer of ooey gooey delicious chocolate lava You can buy Reese's cups basically anywhere. It's lava time baby. Try Reese's new delicious chocolate lava big cup They're the absolute best you got one right there Danny. Yeah, hell yes. I like that the cups are big. Oh, yeah Yeah, hell yes. I like that the cups are big. Oh, yeah. Yeah huge

That's my turn into a big cup you had the lava cup yet me yeah, no no they're incredible wait So you hit the lot of love this okay? You're gonna love it, so I just bite right in yep, and then it's lava time, baby Lava yeah, well it already said candy needs more lava. Yeah, it's very good. Now the chocolate's really a part of it. Yeah. It really slimes it, it really swirls it in. That cup's too big for me to even finish.

They don't skimp yet, that's for sure. Rainy finished it. I really love rainy too, so I'm... They don't skimp you, that's for sure. Oh, Rainey finished it. Yeah. Yeah. I really love Rainey, too. So I'm, what? Is there a new cornhole aspect? No, there always was. Oh, really?

I was in such a fucking flow state, I don't remember anything. I do remember that the real hamstring in this is how fast people can type your answers in. That's right. You always think it's outside your hands. Yeah. You said you lost 50 pounds from the first one to now?

I did. Wow. That's a lot of weight. That's a lot of hands. You said you lost 50 pounds from the first one to now? I did. Wow. That's a lot of weight. It's a lot of weight. How'd you do that? I quit drinking. And it just shed off? I was drinking like 12 beers every Thursday,

Friday, and Saturday forever. Oh, wow. At least 12. And then you start eating. Yeah, because you had 12 beers. Hey, White Castle never closes. Just because she changed the locks doesn't mean you can't still get some fucking White Castle.

Yeah. So yeah, I was an enormous fat man. And now as you can see, I'm the peak of health. Hey. We're all laughing. No, you're being dead serious. Hey, yeah, yeah, no, I've never been better. Yeah, so I think that I'm gonna be more like live out here.

I'm gonna see my movements. I'm also gonna be. Soccer will be way easier. Soccer, I nailed soccer. Soccer wasn't difficult.'m also soccer will be way easier soccer. I've nailed soccer And now we have a easier goalie who bloutman no Like bloutman Blout am I saying it wrong what what I like bloutman. No no I want blutman in goal I'm just gonna hold up a piece of lasagna He was dressed as Garfield the man has Garfield vibes

Yeah, orange He's a reserved You guys might have like some kind of actual genius at play here. Uh what Barstool in general no no Oh, yeah, we're all here. Yeah, yeah ask him any Asim or any NFL player went to college. He's got it. Well yeah, just say Alabama.

No, he's got like the crazy one. That might joke him. Oh, so what are the rules here again? Cornhole, soccer. Young KFCs and goal, that's good. Connor, how you feeling? The Jizz Janitor actually. Jizz Janitor.

Did you party with the team as well? Bust jizz. Did you party with the team as well bust odian you get with the team oh? Give me a hug gives him a big kiss you party with a French is fuck yes He was married and his wife just gave birth He's a philly guy who just went to the soup bowl Got to party with the team after. It's cool that the Eagles exposed the Chiefs. Yeah. Kind of killed the Mystique.

Yeah. Just crashed him. Hopefully forever. Yeah, the Chiefs suck. They only made the Super Bowl. Three times in a row. Yeah. They fucking blow.

I unveiled the new take on, part of my take, tomorrow's part of my take, is Patrick Mahomes a Kyle Shanahan merchant Whoa, he just beats Kyle Shanahan and soup balls. It's kind of his thing. Well, I can't win a big game, huh? Kyle Shanahan They were out of three. They were winning a lot of games this year like 17 to 9. It was a different chiefs team It does have to feel good That Broncos game was painful. We did but it was there. It was a different Chiefs team. It does have to feel good. You guys went like a dick. That Broncos game was painful. We did, but it was their backup.

You guys went like a decade without beating them. I know, and then we got, we were about to beat them, but then they blocked the field goals, which is fair play. That was a very exciting play for them. Fair play. Yeah, you gotta tip your hat. It literally never happens. All right.

Do I have to go do this for real? Yes, you got this dude. I got no one's ever said no on this show before Yes, yes, stop did and Dave and Portnoy yeah, you guys want him to be the ball He didn't say no to hot ones. Who? Stove. He went into our gauntlet, but he said yes to hot ones? He's got some real cushioning stuff.

I better not say no to warm ones. Definitely can't. Wet ones next Tuesday, me, Dana, and Tate. Yeah, you guys get to have fun and I we're gonna we're gonna finish a case together the three of us so 24 beers So I'm just gonna have not a name to drinking. They don't have 20. Yeah They don't want 20 before even gets there. Mm-hmm Kyle I've been drinking water non-stop all day, but I can't retain... I'm pissing out. I've been even weighing myself.

I'm pissing out more than I'm drinking. This is bad, man. We might do the 100 day Blutman stream before him. Oh my god. I am excited, though. Are you? Is it going to bring you back? It's a thrill. It's like a you will never want something more than a sip of Gatorade.

Really? Body armor. Body armor. Yeah that's how thirsty I am. I want some shit like gate. Horrible shit. Good save. I remember I had such epic weight cuts that I forgot that the competition wasn't making weight Do you celebrated that guy would win? Oh my god? I made weight and then I'd be like oh I have to compete in combat Everything I put everything into making way It did feel that from the outside it felt that way with wrestlers I would observe yeah wrestlers They never actually wrestled. I always felt that way about the hockey guys, too They were always just lifting weights. They were always doing squats at Ohio State the Hubble butts like they were never actually practicing hockey They're just like in the way that the squad was not in way was that the hardest part of the sport?

Sam you ready? Winning matches was hard Oh Blue Mohammed is here as well We'll have him go Oh my god the belt holder He's a wrestler guy right? I'll actually have him sit next to me Yeah I'm pretty sure he's a big wrestler Why?

Do you want Blue Mohammed to do it instead of you and you can do it tomorrow? Alright okay I'll have him come sit down. Yeah. Yeah He doesn't have to hug wheel for this guy's gonna be Tough yeah, it's below below There's not like a pronunciation part of this right I Think he's a Chicago guy too. I'm pretty sure is he a current out Palo Starr. Yeah, there's not like a pronunciation part of this right? I think he's a Chicago guy, too I'm pretty sure see a current out Palo Starr. Yeah, that's sick. That's awesome

You guys all you know there is a sheet of information on your prep and there is no way you could beat his ass Yeah, but what brandy you said you could greatest fucking ass just cuz he's shorter. No way he was Going nice to meet you Hey, yes, definitely we might need some help Sit down welcome Welcome in Give me hold your belt shit How's it feel Brandon still not big enough looks heavy it's heavy as fuck heavier than you think so is it To wear it over the shoulder it means you had to have won one isn't that the etiquette and you hold it in front

Of you if you've never won one is that true. I believe is that true I like that I think he does whatever the fuck he wants with that Etiquette and you hold it in front of you if you've never won one is that true. I believe is that true I like that. I think he does whatever the fuck he wants with that. Yeah Hey, you're not following the rules. I got two rules for you Man is this okay the way I'm holding it. Yeah, I like it All right, you just got to do the you up as long as the use at the top you're good Oh really yeah, that's like the only thing I heard yeah, Dana has a device in there And if the use not the right way it explodes It's very nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Yeah. Yeah, are you from Chicago? Yeah, yeah from the south side of Chicago born and raised fantastic. Yeah, dude champion congrats people call you champ

I get it like on the streets, so they like jam yeah Good, that's cool, man Yeah, it feels good except for like I go to the gym And I'll be like running on the treadmill and somebody's like standing there staring at me the whole time Wanted a picture and I was like I'm not gonna stop until I'm done my workout Yeah, so they'll wait for me as I'm like running and jogging and sweating and then once I've done They'll just stand it. They'll be there the whole time like 20 30 minutes. No one's ever waited for me while I was on a treadmill How long have you been the champion since July

Enough time yeah, yeah, so rain I Mean for me. It's it's about how many title defenses you have so hopefully we're gonna get our first title defense soon Okay, and once we get that start adding them up fantastic You find that you've had as you've had more success in your career people want to fuck with you more or less in the street like if people want to like Take a stab at the the best fighter in the world or they like I'm absolutely or they're like me where I'm like I would Absolutely under no circumstances fuck with that guy not on the street like you'll get on the Twitter and you'll get all the you know the trolls I would knock you out when it's I see you Then when you see that same person in public right?

Bro, why'd you block me on Instagram or why'd you block me for I'm just like bro I don't block anybody unless they like say something crazy, so now I'm like, yeah, did you say to me? Yeah, you look it up But I was talking to rent of my coach is talking to rampage Jackson and rampage had me blocked what Like from a while ago, that's all bitch made No, it was like it was a crazy. It's like a funny story I had like a younger teammate with me We were young it's probably like 10 years ago. And he ran up to Rampage at an airport

and he asked him for a picture. And Rampage was with a girl and he's like, bro, you see me with a girl, man, leave me alone. And Rampage ended up posting a limo driver waiting for him outside of the airport. And I commented on there, oh, you have time to make this post but you don't have time for your fans.

And then somebody commented on our minds, like, bro, what are you crying about? R don't have time for your fans. And then somebody's like, commented on our minds, like, bro, what are you crying about? Rampage is great with his fans. And then Rampage like commented on our minds, like, not as just gay, man. He wanted a picture of us. I was like, no, there was just a mentally ill kid that wanted a picture with you and you turned him down.

And then you blocked me. But my coach is like really good friends with him. And he doesn't even know that like, I'm the guy he yeah, so then I'm sure my coach like I blocked all these people It's like 7,000 people he has blocked Fucking crazy Oh, okay. Awesome. A new champ. Yeah.

Are people calling you a pussy and gay? Oh yeah, hold on. Yeah, they're right though. You've been my champion since last year we did a video with Ballal and he kicked both White Sox Dave and Chief as hard as he could. Oh my god. Did you kill him?

I told them, I was like, if I'm you, I'd rather take a punch than like a really good kick to the thigh, like, you're gonna feel that for a couple weeks, couple months. You dead-legged him for real? Yeah, yeah. Oh no. I mean, they wanted for a couple weeks, couple months. You dead legged them for real? Yeah, yeah. Oh no. I mean they wanted it.

I mean they took it like champs, right? For the second one it was like, all right, I'm gonna go a little bit harder. Took it like champs only fell to the ground and laid there for a second. Were they purple? Screaming in agony. Yeah, it was getting pretty yellow too instantly.

Whoa dude. Yeah, like I tell people, the body shot and the low kick are one of the things that I'll say No, I don't want to take it. Can I ask you a? Question I was wondering here it is professional for sure if you had You make it look so sick. Yeah, wait you did You were pulling the kick too that wasn't top speed My god if you had to kill a man with your bare hands

Streetfight, okay Ultimate stakes. What's your go-to? I'll tell you mine first because I'm not an accomplished athlete like yourself, you know Thumbs right in the eyes till you hit brain. Oh I was a Maybe I think you can stir the soup in there. You's not gonna be able to give his thumbs to Brain? I think if you stir the soup in there, you're scrambling the whole way.

Are they not fighting back? Well, I'm on top of them, you know? But how did you get on top of them? They tripped and then I plopped. Yeah, banana plant. I was of course gassed after eight seconds. But yeah, luckily it was really slippery. But I think that if I wasn't in position,

I'd wanna just get in there with the thumbs Yeah, I would say that would be the best move right yeah Movies work where you snap a guy's like head real quick. You know like you fuck. Oh like I don't think so Yeah, no way to get that a lot and like wrestling and grappling scenarios, but I don't think it Yeah, there's no like the way they'd be doing in the movies or even when they do the rear neck You choke in a movie. It's like bro. That's not in at all like that's terrible technique, and it's just so funny Like you said guys were just like fall or like at least make it realistic like people watch you have seen out all the time Champ I hang out with all these fat guys you think they can beat up everyone at the bar And it's like what how would that you're gonna be?

Exhausted after one punch and then your pants are gonna fall down and it's gonna be a bloodbath How would you how would you kill a man with your bare hands if you had to I mean for me if I'm in a street fight I'm gonna go straight to the low kick I think that's gonna drop them first and nobody ever really felt a good low kick No, and you don't have to deal with you know getting close to them grabbing them or like that Then once they're down on the ground, then I'm just gonna start stomping on the head grabbing them or like that then once they're down on the ground then I'm just gonna start stomping on the head awesome I would I would stop for a reason you don't get your hands dirty or anything like that yeah if there's a dude really

getting to you in a bar and they challenge you you want to have a street you want to fight him yeah what if that dude just stripped down naked would you still because that would be my defense I know he's gonna kick my ass, I just get fucking naked. Would you fight me? He's saying the worst shit about you. I'm saying the nastiest shit, it's cutting you deep, but I'm butt ass naked. I'm walking away.

Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm not out of there. I'm not engaging in that. But then you look like a bigot, because you won't fight the nude man. Yeah. That's bad for PR, Dana's calling you, hey, you gotta beat up the naked guy.

Protect the business, champ. Yeah, that's bad for PR Dana's calling. Yeah, you got to beat up the naked guys What I hear about this naked guy talking shit Yeah, they'll be my defense it's well before I even like started martial arts I used to be the biggest hothead like I would always get in like street fights all the time But once I started training like I just like lost that anger. That's you got like a focus You know, did you come up wrestling in Chicago? I've rested like two years in high school, and I went to like a really like hood high school I went to a Bogan high school. It's like in the South Side and We had like a real coach our first year, and then the second year they gave us like a security guard

Oh, so then I was like bro. I'm done with this. Yeah. Yeah, this janitor's not teaching me a double leg Yeah, I'm like bro. We're like what with this. Yeah. This jamder's not teaching me a double leg. Yeah, I'm like, bro, what is this? They really didn't care about wrestling. It was more like basketball they cared about. So I stopped wrestling or anything from there on. And then I went to University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, and I was going to be a lawyer. Then I ended up seeing my old high school wrestling coach

from the first year. He ended up being a fighter. And he was fighting for StrikeForce in the newspaper. And I just messaged him randomly on Facebook. And I was like, he ended up being a fighter. And he was fighting for Strike Force in the newspaper. And I just messaged him randomly on Facebook. And I was like, bro, you're a fighter? And he's like, yeah, come out of the gym anytime you want. And I have an addictive personality. So I just went to the gym one day,

started training with him, and I just fell in love with it. All in. I'm like, let me just go until I lose. And we don't lose until we got to the UFC. Just went to the gym one day became UFC champion Yeah, why doesn't everybody do that? Yeah, we started at 23. So we started late. So if any guys know 23 Yeah, what about if you were 37 and about? 310 pounds

We got a we got a cut weight tonight Don't tell him that. We got a we got a cut weight tonight for a stream challenge three guys 30 pounds How long do you think it'll take 30 pounds total total so it would be 10 each? Which guys not me? Easy fell over here glasses and another man who just chomping 47 pounds over the last 10 months Okay, how's your guys water and take? A lot today. Oh, then I think it'd be easy. It's like the most epic weight cut you've done I've had a cut

30 pounds at a week Because you get a how many hours before your fight? You get like 24 hours. Would you do remove one testicle? Yeah They I called for a fight like I got three weeks notice and it was like the worst thing ever What is like the last five pounds look like I passed out? I got was I like we'll go into tub They will put the tub like like a hundred degrees and you go under you're sitting there sweating and then I got out of the tub and then all of a sudden I just like went out and I was out that my

Shout out to Ian Larios. He's like my nutritionist and he like caught me before I like fell into a mirror and they had to put like ice all over me and uh, give me back my, my heart rate back to normal and stuff like that. But that kills you because like it took you forever to start getting hot. And then I had to put the ice on me. So then I'm like, bro, I gotta get the sweat going again and you never want to miss weight. So then I had to wake up the next morning, probably like at 6 a.m

And then we went to the sauna and we finally got the weight off you guys should just eat a tapeworm Yeah, that would it like sometimes when you have the flu and you lose weight and you're like bro I just why don't I just get sick all the time right? You don't have to do it the hard way. Just like work it out No, that's what what do you really how much over are you like right now? I'd say I'm like 190 so 20 pounds I'm not the biggest like that's probably like very typical. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of guys that walk around really big But for you guys, I mean if you've been drinking a lot of water, I think you get some sweet sweat going to sauna It'll come right off

Yeah, that's what we're thinking. Yeah, I was afraid I was gonna be trapped here all week Oh, yeah I mean there's some people that like the old-school wrestler ways of just like working it off putting a garbage bag on or sauna Suit on and getting out of trouble or running it Yes, that was your plan I've done it but sauna suit yes on a treadmill Take the sauna suit off get back into cold, wet sauna suit an hour later. Yeah, it's terrible. It is the worst.

But like nowadays, I think, we're, fight weeks, if you cut off all salt, you cut off all carbs, and you're drinking two gallons of water, fight week. So we're trying to get two gallons of water, Monday all the way up until Thursday, and then Thursday you cut all water off, and you go into sauna, the water just comes out of you you because the salt and the carbs are what more than you yeah So you don't really have to do any of the work as long as you just you man up mentally to be willing to

Is there ever a moment during fight week where like you know you're locked in you're hyper focused You're about to do the thing you've been training your whole life for but you got that big water belly and you give it a Little slap and everyone laughs in the gym You know when you get water belly that little bag We have abs but I mean, yeah I was gonna say we're not so different you and I but we couldn't be more different, sir So are you living in Chicago? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Now I live in palisades. We're moving on up a little bit

But we do our training in Bensonville Valley flow striking so it's probably like a 40 minute drive for me to get to the gym and back okay and Take the train There's not a trailer goes there. I was kidding Those are dangerous. Yeah, yeah. Huh. Not for a fighter.

No, no. Not for the champ. He says you're not tough. Whoa. What the fuck? I read between the lines, sir. Now what about, what was I going to ask you? Do you still have any aspirations to become a lawyer?

No, not at all. But my mom will still tell me all the time, like, are you done now? Go back to school. What if you practice cage law? That'd be fun. It'll work, right? Like, you could always go back to school. That was always my excuse to my parents

to tell them, yeah, I'll go back to school. Don't worry, I'll go back to school. Now it's like, I'm done. Now we're the champ. We don't need it no more. Yeah, you can pretty much rest on your laurels at this point. Yeah, you've done it, yeah. Awesome.

You're coming on my show, man. Yeah. point. Yeah, you've done it. Yeah Coming on my show man. Yeah Are you are you willing to run the gauntlet you want to do the gauntlet? I'm down. All right. So the gauntlet is just a little athletic challenge We have you throw you throw a cornhole bag you hit one then you have to make a soccer goal Easy. All right, then you have to hit a wiffle ball over this little ledge right here. Just hit a home run. You can do that.

That's easy. Throw a football through one of those body armor bottles. OK. And then hit a three pointer. Yeah. Hit a three pointer, two of them. OK. Then you come in and you have to answer 10 Sporkel questions.

Yeah. Let's go. You sound fine. What's the fastest time everybody's been on? Wow. This room? This guy. Really? Oh, yeah. No way. That's not true. It's 100% true. What's the fastest time? You will sky really? That's not 100% true. That's not true at all number one right mark. Titus is to your left Brandon walkers to your right

Oh, I forgot about Titus and KB and pretty much everybody in this Are you is this the first fighter to ever do the gauntlet um I don't think we have enough we have NASCAR Oh, you guys had right a Marshall. Yeah Look who's right above him champ. That's me Let's go oh Scroll down TJ Dukes has a better time than you saying oh you got it you got it go again Yeah, but he's young he's full of cum

I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I will do it tomorrow. I couldn't strip the champ of his opportunity to shine yet again I'm gonna hold your hat sir Kyle. I won't wear thoughts on bod He only has one cauliflower whoa he respected me so good. Oh, yeah, you did He was respecting me till you called him you called me glasses to him. Yeah, it's a glasses over there Are you on my back? Yeah, I'm cutting weight with glasses Felt so awesome. I loved it. Oh, we're doing skins. We're doing, this is a, we did shirts last time so you gotta go skins.

It's tops or bottoms, your call. You guys are being naked. All that respect. Never mind. Count it off, Nick. TJ, you ready? Warren, come on, Warren. Don't worry, they'll have it online.

We're waiting on Warren to get ready. Warren. Brandon Marshall got in two minutes. TJ, you ready? Sam Talented won better. Warren, your shoes don't match. All right. Three, two, one, go.

Make it bad. Sturdy. I want him to do well really bad. Me too. I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad.

I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad. I want him to do well really bad. I one, go. Make it bad. Sturdy. I want him to do well really bad. Me too, he's a man. He's the pride of the South Side. Bro! Little faster. Uh oh. You were super athletic.

Uh oh. Uh oh. Sam, you gotta go after this and just chillin' out. I would never do that. Oh, they're not moving. He's building a wall. This is bad. Oh, this is not good. When do we leave? Yeah, we gotta get the fuck out of here. Clear him off.

Brandon, what are you doing? You clear him off for everybody else. This is that home cooking. Oh, shit. He was just like, he was talking about how he was a hothead. No, he's fine. It takes everybody this long. Yeah!

All right! Still my champion. Left foot. Oh, Connor. Connor. Connor. Nice ball. Oh, it's power. Holy shit.

He can't control himself. You get closer now. Brandon's doing a shit job of telling him what he can. Yeah, Brandon, it's power holy shit. You can't control himself you get closer now Brandon's doing a shit job of telling him what he got Brandon. You're not doing good. He gets off on it. Oh whoa Kick his ass his actual body there. Hey, all right So cool yeah Let oh oh no. Oh no. This... Looks like he didn't know we were here. Oh no.

But you don't got it. No glove. This is one of our first lefties, right? And our last. I don't know if he's a lefty. Yeah, he might just be a lefty. I think he's, yeah. Okay.

Oh. It's up. Good call, Titus. That was some good coaching. He usually hits the balls with his hands. He was... I think he's... Yeah, I... Okay. Oh! Good call, Titus. That was some good coaching. He usually hits the balls with his hands. He was... Yeah, he was standing like, facing.

Yeah. He was neither. Yeah, he wasn't sure which way to... Okay. I'm overjoyed that he's smiling. Yeah. I know, I'm feeling nervous. If he's gonna beat up one of us, it's gonna be me.

But I'm gonna be hard. Yeah, glasses. Might be glasses. Glasses. One of the two glasses he's gonna... That one of us, it's gonna be me. And I'm gonna be hard. Yeah, glasses. Might be glasses. One of the two glasses he's gonna, that's chum in the water. There's only one glasses that I see. Oh yeah. Uh oh, oh, fighter shooting ball,

basketball is never good. Oh. Count it. Oh, he's not bad though. No, he's got form in all these. He's adjusting. Tide is calling pussy. These are girl balls, dude.

Just said these are girl balls. They might be girl balls. That was very progressive of him. I bet this guy says some crazy shit. Yeah The cage fighter from the side yeah, but yeah, I want to pick his brain man, uh-huh I Always wanted to ask one of these guys how they would kill him Stomp the head Stomp the head. Stomp the head, easy.

Imagine him stomping your head. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to do in this situation. Do you have any pumpkin treatment? Fuck! He could definitely kill me the fastest. No, I think it would be me because I'd be so...my heart would pop. Brandon, what do we do? You and Danny. Brandon, you make the ball.

Nick. Oh my God. Come back! Oh boy. KB, I think it'd be hard to kill. I would be hard to kill. I feel like you're like a wiggler. Like you'd really put up a...

There we go, champ. Thank you, K. One more, oh my God. I feel so anxious right now. Alright. I feel nothing. This feels bad. There we go.

Alright. Okay. Smells great. One person whose job it is to keep male porn actors aroused on set. Who gets people hard on set? Four seasons of the year. Okay.

Four seasons of the year, you got it. Shot him off. Winter, summer, fall. There you go. That's right. Yep of the year. You got it. Just jot them up. Winter, summer, fall. There you go. That's right. Yep, bingo. Who gets people hard on a porn set? Yeah, we want to try to focus on that.

Women? Well, who knows? It's a big world. States that border Canada? Detroit. So like Maine and Michigan. Michigan. Washington. Washington. Good answer. Illinois? Should be. They must have made a mistake. One of the Wisconsin. NFL teams with the least

wins in the last 20 years. In the last 20 years? Yeah, so bad NFL team. You already said Detroit. Oh, five NBA players to get their town stolen in Space Jam. Oh, Charles Barkley, Charles Oakley. Bang. Oh, Michael Jordan. Oh, yeah. All right, and now I take you. The little guy.

Mosley. Close. Muggsy Bows. Yep, bingo. I think you only need one more now North Dakota North Dakota That's a good score No, it's really good

Like I don't have carbs today. I didn't I drove I don't know you're just not a pure athlete like me Stomp is that in stop get glasses You're still way ahead of a lot of yeah, yeah, no you've Oh, you beat Ben Ments. He's a world-renowned athlete sketch has Down syndrome Oh, you beat Ben Mence. He's a he's a world-renowned athlete sketch has down syndrome All skeins Tiger would Laney Walker. Yeah, welcome. Okay, Tiger Woods. Yeah

Of course brother to all right all right bulls. I'm gonna go see ya Middle the road not bad you gave you the most fits Man those balls are a school the basket of women's balls. Those are women's balls. I don't think that was girls balls They had no air in them. That's true. I think that rim was like the carnival rims where it was like X was in Yeah, it's weird. They don't have air in them, but a girls ball would make it easier with it Not that's definitely where the title belt Goes on the ground Your piece of shit you know that we should have been able to take the sandbags off. I think them that was yeah Brandon yeah clear cuz I was stacking them up. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right. I'd never seen them stack like that

I thought you were gonna knock one in there. I was helping you too late. All right. Sorry. Sorry, but I was like two minutes I think should be shaved off. You do this work already. You did he crushed it Wow Okay, easy. Okay. What was the final time? 509 there has to be a pro athlete Territory okay, no one did it Are you lost to a dog though. I've seen the corgi. That was a dog. That was a person with a dog on their back. Yeah. You were talking about sketch. Paul schemes. Tommy Pope and Paul scheme. Paul schemes was awful.

Paul schemes was really bad. I mean, he's not that much farther back than me. So if he was really bad, well, you were just, you were kind of, that was Brandon's fault. We're kind of really bad. You didn't need it as bad. That was Brandon's fault. You were kind of really bad. You didn't need it as bad as he did. Delaney Walker. Oh okay. Do you want to do it again or just cement that as your legacy?

Jesus, Scott. Bro, I think if I'm able to do it again. Maybe, yeah well let's have Sam go. We don't allow. I'll be doing it tomorrow. Is that Reedus? Two in one day. So you tell me these are all your,

your first time he's doing it. Yeah well. The rule is you can only do one a day. Only one person did two. So by tomorrow. You're the most. Paying us all $100. You're the least winded of any of the competitors though.

That's true. That is true. We gotta put a mask on them. Sporch will tires me out. Yeah. I guess we should spin the wheel. Have we done that yet? No, let's not.

You don't wanna give up that belt. Oh, I love the belt. But I am worried, it is very heavy. Yeah. It's like, I've the belt. Yeah, but I am worried. It's very heavy Yeah, it's like I've held belts before like WWE belts. They're nowhere near as heavy. Oh really? Yeah, they're nowhere near Maybe it's heavy for you, but not guys like us right champ Do you have to travel with this? Sometimes they'll ask me to but okay for me. Yeah when I have a fight I Leave it. Yeah, they'll have like another belt airport security

Please remove your belt use upside down use upside down Stomp on his head it looks cool on anybody please don't stop on my head Don't have to ruin your day man. Yes, nicely big replica belt That's way lighter that you could take with you to write random spots Yeah, we had the bag over there cool And you keep this you get to keep this forever. Yeah, oh, that's cool Valparaiso in the end through security you like they have to take it out of the bag Oh, they always do yeah, but like I took it probably like three times, and they've always what is this? What's in your bag?

It's real title. Yes, UFC. They're like sure it is Brown guy with a beard in your bag. Oh, just real title. Yeah, so UFC, take me to the world. They're like, sure it is. Brown guy with a beard. Right over here. All right, that's a trick. What's your last name? Yeah. Random chat guy.

It's got to be the belt. Yeah, right? I feel like this is cool. Do you ever use it to hold up your pants? That'd be fun. That'd be really funny, having you guys' loops. Go into a tailor to get bigger loops. Twelve inch loops. Oh, man.

Do you ever tap people out on requests? 12 inch lube feet. Oh man. Do you ever tap people out on requests? Are they like, hey, can you choke me out? I get that all the time. Really? You wanna do it for the grand man? Yeah. I mean. Just a quick little choke?

Oh, to choke me out? Yeah, yeah. Just a quick, just a little treat. Just wondering. You don't have to. It'd be cool to see it though. Champ, what's the difference between a blood choke and just a regular choke?

I mean, the blood choke's gonna put you out. So you wanna cut off the arteries, especially with rear naked chokes. Like I say in the movies, they'll just do this, but it's like on the chin or it's not really even cutting any side off. You'll get a lot of the time where guys will tap out

really quick and it'll just be pain. Just cause out of pain. Like when McGregor got tapped out by Khabib, it wasn't a choke. Khabib just had it on his jaw, but he had such a tight squeeze, it could have broke his jaw. Oh, shit.

Yeah, so unless you're getting it really underneath and you see both sides cut off and a lot of people pull back with their choke, it's supposed to be like squeezing downward and that'll cut off your your butt circulation. You'll go to sleep Within like 20 seconds of my oh, that's kind of what's the most painful thing you've ever experienced heartbreak bailing out of law school I would say body shots are probably one of the most painful things or or like after fights your legs Are like so sore from like low-key right there in a fight

You will really feel it but after the fight when you're on the plane your legs are just like swollen the whole time Yes, like I said low kicks are like one of the worst. What's the worst injury you've had? Well, I have some terrible I had a detached retina and I think that was like the worst. Oh, yeah from a punch I had a detached retina and I think that was like the worst. Oh! Yeah. From a punch? Well it was one of those that happened over time. And fighters are dumb, we don't go to the doctor unless you really have to.

So for me, you'll get random pokes in the eye at practices and you'll think it's just like, oh I'll just rub it off, it's all fine. And then I was training one day and I'm still just sparring. I had a black line in my eye and I was like, ah, it's nothing. So I'm still sparring. In your vision? Yeah, in my vision.

And it was a week that I was just going through it. And then all of a sudden I sparring one day. I thought you were watching Japanese porno. Oh. Oh. Oh. So I'm just sparring again and then all of a sudden I just went fully black.

I'm like, all right, well I think now I should go to the doctor. Yeah. And I went to the doctor, like, you gotta have surgery right away or you're gonna go like blind. No. Oh, shit.

Yeah, so then that surgery was like the worst because they put like a bubble in your eye and you have to like keep your head like this for eight weeks. What? Like for eight weeks the bubble stays in your eye because it has to like try to make it go back to the retina, get attached again.

Yeah. So it'll have to be like this for eight weeks. Is it hard to tell your doctor, like, hey, after eight weeks I'm going to start getting punched in the head again? And that's the thing, right? That's like the hardest part, because they're looking at you like, bro, what do you do?

You think you're going to do it again? No, you're done. And I was like, oh, yeah, no, I'll be done. And I just started fighting again. So when I first started, I wore like goggles to like training for like six or seven months. And then I just like finally got used to it. And I was like, all right, like six or seven months and then I just like Finally got used to it. I was like, alright, let's go Wow

Let me ask you this we were talking to a young man earlier How long do you let's say your schedule is cleared? Okay, you have no responsibilities How long do you think you could live in a glass cube at half court here in this facility? All of your like food and water is taken care, but people are still doing their business around you while you're in the Cube. Am I getting paid to be in the Cube? Yeah, there's a tiered reward system, so like 10 days, 20 days, up to 100 days type thing. I think I could last 100 days.

100 days, no sunlight. No, I'm cool with it. Wow. We should put him in the Cube with Bluttman. With Bluttman. Those two together. Two men enter. Two men.

I don't know who wins. Yeah, after you kill Bluttman, We should put him in the cube with blood with blood together Don't know who wins yeah after you kill Blutman. What are you gonna do with the next 99 days? Yeah, I think the cube things a good idea yeah, so it is I mean the tier system has to be like really good money What do you think it should be I? Mean if you get to like the hundred day out like a million dollars no bucks Yeah, what about for ten days? What do you think that reward should be? Ten days, I think it's pretty simple. I'll say hundred bucks 500 I mean you're just in a cube. You know you you have a TV or whatever Oh, yeah, you're having fun. Okay. Is there a good bed in it like a good mattress mulch. Hey hey

Bird seed all you can eat though. Oh, and you'd be in there with him with this guy I'll make you feel right You'd be wearing him like a lion skin You like the revenue it's still be cold. They just be brushing his hair the whole time Champ what do you got going on? Where can they find you? I mean, you can find me on any social media,

BullyV170, and yeah, hopefully I'll get some fight news coming up soon. I hope so. Before the summertime, and yeah, just excited to keep winning for Chicago. Yeah. Dude, we appreciate you swinging through. Great flag, you have a great flag.

City flag of Chicago? Yeah. Awesome. Chicagoans love their flag. Yeah. T.J DJ have we done all the obligations that's Robak Steven singer Reese's raising canes nascar yeah cool all right you spin the wheel for sure you might have to get wet no yeah it's fine just don't worry about it too late for me you probably won't be able

also date with Kate are you gonna date with her? Yeah, which is the easiest thing in the world her who's paying? Talent yeah champ Having me guys. Oh, yeah, thank you for having us Zanies Rosemont this weekend get tickets same talent calm All right. Thanks, guys. Hey, great meeting you. It's the X. It's the X. Get your straws, yeah, style a stage. For a while, it's the X. It's the X. It's the X. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee swap, it's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's the X. It's

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