The Yak - Brandon Goes Full Rasslin' Mode On Us | The Yak 10-9-23

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

Not squish enough.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. What's the act? Brought to you by Roback. Best hoodies, quarter zips, joggers. Did you bring up the quarter zips? Polos, yeah. Quarter zips was the second thing I mentioned.

Did you use my hacky sack without asking? That's my new one. Yours got too much bounce. No, it doesn't. Too much bounce. It's pretty. Dude, you're wearing your sexiest one. Rowback.com. That's a Sir Hemp Sandlord.

Use code YAK. I got to get used to it. I told Nicky Smokes it was $700, my hacky sack. He's like, dude, I'm afraid to touch it. I haven't told him otherwise. You told everybody it was $700. He's not afraid to touch much. I have a $700 hack. You told everybody it was $700. He's not afraid to touch much. I have a $700 hacky sack. How much was it? $24, which is still pretty expensive.

Pretty expensive hacky sack. Probably higher end. You have a $15,000 PC as well. Every time somebody asks about my PC that I don't have, I add $1,000. Speaking of Nicky Smokes, can I address the elephant in the room? The squish party. Didn't look like much of a squish party. Yeah. I think that was early. I think there might have been plenty of space. I don't know. It felt like not a squish party to me.

Can I say something about the squish? I thought when he said squish party, I thought getting squished was the act of getting drunk. I thought squish meant sex. Squish was sex? You mean that as well? Wasn't that the Jersey Shore version of it? And you guys took squish to mean it was going to be so crowded they were squished in? They were squished in.

I mean, look at that. When he said getting squished, I mean getting drunk or getting wasted. This video of him ripping the, what was it, vodka? Yeah. Yeah, that's a... No, it's... It's plenty of room. It's a reasonable party at a reasonable volume.

Oh, the finger point. Yeah. All right. A little pan to the right. Oh, yeah. That's a reasonable party at a reasonable volume. Oh, the finger point. Yeah. All right. A little pan to the right. Oh, yeah. That's a reasonable. Yeah. That was good.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Pause that. Do we catch Rudy flirting? Did we? I think we have a Rudy flirt. Rudy. And let's wait for the camera pan.

Okay. Let's wait for it. Keep going. Got him. Oh, God. Oh, that's a mirror. That's a for it. Keep going. Got him! Oh, God! That's a mirror. That's a mirror. That's Donnie's wife.

So yeah, Rudy's just looking in the mirror. What's up, Rudy? I thought we caught you. Wait, was anyone there? That was Rudy and Donnie Kate was going to go But she got her back Blown out of the zoo

I did That makes Arden That is what you said I did It came out wrong Mr. Hand situation Yeah

Yeah Pretty similar Okay So I totally was going to go though I was really curious But once I saw that Donnie Was there

I felt There's a representative It's fine. Donnie said. What do you mean a representative? Why did you. You felt you needed to be represented? An old should have been there just to make sure everybody was okay.

There wasn't too much sack getting dumped. He said that Nicky Smokes' friend, surprisingly, less douchey than him, which I felt was a little disappointing. Well, that makes sense. Of course. Nicky's probably the douche of his group. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

He's the douche of our group. Did his boys fly in from Miami? I don't know. He has Chicago boys. He has Chicago boys? Oh, yeah. His roommate's a friend who lives here now kind of thing. Oh, he has a roommate?

Yeah. Okay. He has a roommate. We all moved. Does everybody else have Chicago boys yet? I don't have Chicago boys yet. I don't have Chicago boys. You got Chicago boys?

No. I don't think I do. I got Chicago boys? No. I don't think I do. I got Chicago hitters. You got hitters? I got a couple, yeah. I got my boy Tyler Kincaid, but he was a geology major back at WVU, and he won the first three years of our fantasy league, and we kicked him out.

I haven't hit him up since, but he lives here. I might reach out to him. Yeah, reach out to him. I got Jimmy, my neighbor. He was telling me it's like his office is like all like mid-20s guys, and they love like making fun of you. Not like, you know, like they don't like you, but whenever you fuck up in trivia, they all go around the office. You see what Brandon did.

That's awesome. I like these guys. Are they hiring? We all play trivia. How come when I'm on trivia and my team wins or loses, if we win, the whole team wins. If we lose, I lose. Yeah. I think you purposely play that.

A little bit. A little bit. But I don't. Easy to root against in a fun way. I guess. Not maliciously. Not maliciously. I was in Mizzou this past weekend yeah OG Chicago

Boys White Sox Dave right there and I was pissed I was missing Nikki's party so I called him before the party got started and I said yo Nikki it's Nikki um before everybody gets there for the party I want you to close your eyes and he's like all right and he you know I think he's probably big into like manifestation and visualization and stuff. So I was like, close your eyes. I want you to picture the best looking woman you can, the best looking girl that's coming to your party. He's like, oh, yeah, I see her. And then I was just like, dibs.

He got so mad at me. He was like, dude, no, fuck. I'm sure he takes that stuff seriously. Take it back. And then I hung up the phone. So you think the best looking girl got to the party and went up to smokes and he's like, she was probably begging for him. And he's like, I think he values bro code. Bro code says, unfortunately.

Listen, we can do it now or later, but I'm going to need a short recap from the man himself. Yes. Nikki! That might have worked. It might not have. Need a smoke signal. This mic is odorous. Smell that.

What's that? Oh, yeah, bad. But isn't that your seat every day? Oh, no. Hey, shit. Maybe it's me. I panicked. I was like, wait, is that my mic?

No, thank God. Nicky, Nicky. All right, here we go. No airbags in your seat titus while he's speaking remember you two have the same exact job title just keep thinking that uh smokes uh the first thing we got to talk about yes this is supposed to be a squish party it was squish the video is very i got fucked i like everyone that took videos fuck me so this is like this is bad too like let me let me at least paint the picture this is the last 10 people left because

we're about to go to good night john boy but that's it's it's still early in the night the notre dame No, when you have a third quarter of a football, it's right over half. It's fucking 11 o'clock at night. Oh, it's USC. Okay. Pause it at the oven. Okay. Was it merely a kickback?

Bro. There was 30 people there at one point at peak, like at peak stream at peak fucked up this. How can we take videos with 30 people? For sure. Dude, one being a host sucks and then two i was on the aux cord so like i'm having fucking anxiety like i don't know what to play and then the first girls that came there i was just trying to set the tone so i put on justin timberlake and she's like oh did you did you put this on so we would dance and i'm like like yeah and then it just didn't

fucking work out did they start dancing no i started dancing did you honor our phone call that we had no what oh oh no you got dibs we called do i know he called dibs but like the girl that i pictured in my head didn't show up that's good okay all right that's fine that's fine so your squish party was just a pregame it turns out yeah i mean basically like we started at 8 1 to like 11 30 and then went to john boy and then went out there until like 2 3 a.m what would you give it overall out of 10 say like a 7.8 wait are we just getting past this those girls didn't dance but they were the first ones there so it was just them watching you dance yes Justin Timberlake? Well, no, we were playing like... You were dancing? You were just dancing in front of them while they were sitting down? Yeah, it was a good time, though.

I wish you guys came. I wish I could have, man. I was pissed I was out of town. I wasn't invited. You weren't? Damn. I was explicitly told not to go. I told you to come. Yeah. You take up a lot of space for the squish.

You would have helped the squish. I would have brought the squish. If you would have been of space Yeah For the squish You would have helped the squish Yeah You would have I would have brought the squish If you would have been in that video Afraid of the squish People's cheeks would have been Pressed up against the lens

If you were there man I should have took more Squish videos though Cause at one point Like it really was Was it like annoyingly squish? No it's just how I like it I

Like I like having to like Tell the girl to like move over Like grab her hips Move her a little bit. Yeah, right. It's the best move. You all right? Excuse me.

Yeah. You fucked me over. Oh, jeez. Thank God for that last part. Hey, we all believe that. You did. I did. I said I was going to bring pizza rolls, and I didn't.

I know. She tweets at me, if the Phillies win, she's going to my party so i don't watch baseball i hate baseball i watch the entire game pitch for pitch strike for strike just hoping kate would show up like sweating like thinking she'd be a woman they were gonna win too i was fully prepared i had the but then i couldn't get off the couch it's my excuse baby mama finally follows me so i could d her, send her the address. She leaves me on read. Oh, Kate. I fell asleep. What the fuck? I understand.

I fell asleep. What gives? On the couch. Damn. I'm sure it was super squirmy. How'd the night end? With me? Yeah.

Through an after party at Pound Town. Oh. Whoa. In your literal bedroom? Yeah. How many were invited how many uh party of two party of two yeah that was a good one good time but then my roommate walked in not on me yeah but like in the apartment like mid party and then i just hear like the water coming out of my fridge and i thought i was about to get robbed. Wait, what? That's what a thief would do.

Go for the water right away. I didn't know. Thirsty bandit. I didn't know my roommate was coming back because he has a girlfriend. So I thought he was going to go back to his girlfriend's house, and then I was just going to have the apartment to myself. Did he care that it was Squish? No, no. We made an agreement when I first moved in that if we hear anything, we just let it ride.

What? Wait, if you're a robber no i'm talking about like if you're fucking banging in the apartment like you don't have the fucking banging guy banging loud and yeah what was it what do you play music yeah you just eat it yeah what do you have a playlist yeah drake like if i hear a girl on like take care and then that's sad but i don't know what he listens to when i when i do it so all right you don't know what drake listens to or your roommate no my roommate so do you think this girl that this person you brought back was the one no okay no shot no chance was she in the starting five or was she about oh no she's coming off the bench

like she definitely earned minutes okay she'll get like 12 minutes a game now yeah which is like the equivalent of like a 3 a.m text on friday like hey what are you doing that's a that's a prime day of the week yeah no yeah she's getting good roll same page right like i'm not i'm not taking her to dinner but like we get taco bell after the club what What's her favorite? Oh, my God. What's her favorite Bible verse, you think? I don't know. She has one. You guys didn't?

Okay. I mean, I'm sure she was, like, reading a few words. Yeah. When? Yeah, what? Do you have Bible verses on your body? No, but, like, my Bible's right next to my bed. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Might have been bent over reading a verse. Somebody tweeted out a picture of his Bible, I think. Yeah. Yeah. It's picture of his bible i think yeah yeah it's a big ass bible yeah it's a study bible you got the director's cut yeah fuck because it's hard to read it's hard to understand yeah so like breaks down the passages so i understand them you should you should rewrite the bible but translate it for no i don't think oh you should do like i don't know yeah i was absolutely racked during that picture. Genesis 1.

I literally think I went in my room to dump sack, and then Dom was like, yeah, let's take a picture. Wait, what's dump sack? Oh, Nicky. Like dump sack. Oh, okay. I get it now. It's either drugs or sex, and I can't decide.

Yeah, dump sack. I mean, one, I wouldn't invite Dom in my room to or sex, and I can't decide. Yeah, I'm sad. I mean, I love, right? One, I wouldn't invite Dom in my room to dump sack if it was sex. Like, that would be fucking weird. Every time I hear dump sack, I am picturing testicles. I think testicles. It's got to let my balls cool off real quick. I hear a sound.

Like you're teabagging a little. Yo, I'm going to go to my room and beat off. Yo, you want to come? Do you think next Squish Party you're going you're gonna like take phones to make sure you can like control the narrative i really should like i should go full fucking dictator full dre like phones in my bathroom you can't walk them up in the bag like you're going to see the i promise you i'll be at the next stand up you do you promise yeah okay same here like if i was good at my job i would have made content at the party and like prove that was a squish, but then I just let everyone else control the narrative.

So, like, now people don't think it was squish, but it was really squish. Yeah, it looked wide open. There's people online who don't think it was squish. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Donnie's picture was empty. Then I think he did another update. Well, Donnie did that as we left. The ratio is not great.

I'm just going to go on a limb. I don't think it was squish. I don't think it was squish. I don't think it was squish. I think you've got to run it back. Let's run it back this weekend. I think we need documented go on a limb. I don't think it was Squish. I don't think it was Squish. I don't think it was Squish. I think you've got to run it back. Let's run it back this weekend. I think we need documented proof of the Squish. Was Rudy there for the Squish?

Yes. Can he bounce? I love Rudy. Rudy is my dog now. Oh, yeah. He made your friendship rankings. Yes. He made the top five.

I should not put you there, by the way. I panicked and I put you in my top five. Shouldn't be there. KB's top five. You're definitely in my top five. Shouldn't be there. KB's top five. You're definitely in my top five. I understand. You fucked me and I just didn't know. I honestly couldn't find KB's Twitter, so I put you in there.

Was the spelling tripping you up? I just put KB and nothing popped up. Speaking of spelling, we're doing a drunk spelling bee at the barstool bar wednesday oh yeah and nicky's competing oh yeah if you miss your word you can do a shot and you get another chance of spelling the word i'm gonna win oh god i have like unlimited lives yeah dude are you you could how many shots would you have without getting like drunk i'm really not a great shot taker i'd say like seven seven eight okay but if i could throw up and keep going i'm unlimited okay all right like i'll

probably throw up after seven shots and then i could just like rally so to get people to go to the bar can we what percentage of you dying is there zero oh. Oh. It's never zero. Okay. I don't want to jinx that. Never zero. Yeah, no. I don't want to be like the Titanic. Yeah. There's like no chance of it sinking. Oh, okay.

I even got it. It sank. Remember that? Yep. It's a great line. Yeah. Yeah. It's there.

All right. Thank you, Nicky. You're welcome. Snag Rudy. See, just I want proof of squish. We're going to corroborate that. We're just going to... Rudy will...

Yeah, we'll see. Rudy will fucking let you know, brother. I don't think it was a squish. It didn't feel squishy to me. I think it was a nice, reasonable party. I've been to a squish a couple times. Four times. Yeah.

And the Monday afterwards, I'm feeling it. These guys are limber, spry, and chipper. He seemed fine on Sunday. The most insulting thing you can say to smokes is that your party looked like a reasonable get-together. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you. An ideal function. That actually looks like a good time. Yeah.

Fuck you. All right, Rudy. Rudy boy. This feels like a deposition. It is. Was it a squish? You're calling me witnesses. Was it a squish?

Yes. It was a squish. The evidence, the photos and the videos don't make it look like a squish, but there was a fever pitch of a squish. Peak squish, about an hour, less, more. I would say it was like a hockey pitch. During peak squish, what were you guys dancing to music, playing drinking games, cussing? I was acting like a journalist.

I was going out around to every single person that Nicky knew from his life, and I was just asking a million questions. What did you glean? That he's been like this forever. Yeah. That he has not changed whatsoever. But his boys are reasonable? Yeah, his boys were cool.

I talked to one of his friends who was also a Broncos fan. We talked about Russell Wilson for like 30 reasonable. Yeah, his boys were cool. I talked to one of his friends about, who was also a Broncos fan, we talked about Russell Wilson for, like, 30 minutes, and then another one of his friends came up to me super shit-faced and just started yelling, talking shit about the Broncos, and I was like, what the fuck are you saying? Like, who are you a fan of?

He goes, Bears. And I was like, oh, okay, well, you can't do that. But I was blown away by Nicky Smokes' room. It's all bed. It's jaw-dropping. Wall, wall, wall. It's all bed. It's jaw-dropping. Wall, wall, wall. House of horrors. What do you mean?

It's wall to wall. That's what he wants. It's a house of horrors. Do we have any visual representation? I have a photo of it. Walk me through it. His bed takes up the whole room? I believe so.

His bed takes up the entire room. Also, the bed frame is a cube, right? It goes above the bed. Yeah, I can't remember the word for it, but it has, it's like a, you can put put drapes on it but he didn't put drapes or whatever it is oh like a renaissance like woman would have you know does he have that does he have the bars up there for play i don't know but he is it's all bad here i have a photo i'll send it to tj i'll send it to tk right now next to it the bible is remarkably big yeah it remarkably big his the bible is bigger than his desk um the bed is 95 of the room and he has all black sheets oh that's that's oh my god

oh that's like vanta black i can't tell where the bed starts and ends it's a big three right the headboard's bigger than the room. Is the headboard the wrong part? Are we sideways? Look at that. Flip this picture. That is the most egregious headboard I've ever seen. That is a house. That is.

And you can't really see from the picture, but those are all handprints on his. Oh, all the way up. Oh, my God. Yeah. But I was going around to the girls in the party, and I was asking, I was like, what do you guys think of Nicky Smokes' room? And they shuddered. They shuddered.

They were like, that's one of the worst places I've ever seen. But I was like, that's him. That was him. That head on. That head on is shocking. Yeah. But it was fun. His friends were really cool.

We had a good time. I was impressed. I had a good time. It impressed i i had a good time it was fun um he keeps the bible there on purpose right yeah it's part of the yeah yeah but he was off bible hours he told me that i was like all right so like what are you reading i was like what's the newest chapter like what have you learned he goes i'm off i'm off the clock right now it's the weekend i think for a woman you go in there and you're like, oh, no. And then you see the Bible and you're like, he can't be that bad a guy. And then you make handprints on that head.

I would argue people that have Bibles next to the bed for show might be the most villainous of them. Yeah, that's what I think, too. I think that makes it even worse. I'm saying 2 a.m. drunk brain would be like, well. He's wearing a chain with a cross. He has the Bible next to his bed. Yeah. What you couldn't see in the photo is he has a laminating machine cross he has the bible next to his bed yeah well you couldn't see in the photos he has a laminating machine and he puts the bible on laminate during

the weekends to keep it safe in the fluids yeah but it was fun wild all right well yeah kyle how was pittsburgh oh boys trip yeah it was good It felt nostalgic, like I was a kid again. We hit the old gym we used to lift at, played cornhole. I didn't do drugs or drink that much, and then I didn't smoke weed, and that was the big thing I'm trying to do. Did you tussle with them? Were they all wrestler guys? Oh, yeah, we always tussled, yeah. Just feel each other out under hooks.

It was good. How did you stack stack up how has everybody aged physically everyone it's weird like we're all like 30 everyone's like the healthiest they've ever been they all look young as fuck i think it's like when you wrestle in college your body is pretty much deteriorating you're malnourished so you age a little bit better maybe. So you get to actually live like a normal person. Right, yeah. Or you could just be getting to your baseline of what you should have been always. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Was Mac there? Of course, it was his house. Okay. Yeah. I tried, oh my God, I tried to free bench. It was a disaster. What? Because I've been doing Smith machine for two years.

So I, like, take 225 on the Smith for joy rides. So I'm like, let's load it up. I'll do a few. Yeah. Oh, my God. It wasn't that I couldn't do it. I did, like, three. But the balance was I was not used to balancing it out.

So I was falling all over the place making a seam. This is known, yeah. Yeah, you get too comfortable on the Smiths machine. I hit first touchdown Thursday with DJ Moore. No way. I didn't touch the Sunday action. But, yeah. How much are you up right now unit-wise?

What is my unit? What do you bet? Yeah, I'm up – I have 2,000. Here's what I put. I pick four players, put 50 on each, 200 for the first touchdown, and that's been winning for me. I know it's not. You know, you can't sustain that.

But you've gotten it every time. Every time. So right now it's – You got one for tonight? Then I found out about UFC. That was easy money. UFC fought that. Buckley and Pfeiffer, I just parlayed that easy money.

That's why you've been winning. Game day. Because you've been blessing the boys. That's insane. Buying shit for everybody, buying photos for everyone. It's nice. Can you pull that picture back up? Somebody made a point.

There's not enough space for a W and N. I really want Kirk to move so we can see how condensed they made those letters. Really tiny. I believe that at first. That's real. No, it isn't. That isn't real. That's real?

Looks pretty real. No, it's Bobby Costa. No, no, that's real. Come on. TJ, it's not? No. It's devastating. Son of a bitch. I don I fucking believe. No, no, that's real. Come on. TJ, it's not? No. It's devastating. Son of a bitch.

I don't believe that. How could you fake that? Yeah, right? The tech isn't there. There's no possible way. Hold on. If you were faking it, why wouldn't you put touchdown on the whole sign? Maybe he was faking it like he went there with the sign but didn't mean it.

Yeah. That's what the fake was. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have anybody for tonight? That's close. No. I'm like, it's not that thrilling what the fake was. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my. Do you have anybody for tonight? That's close. No, I'm like, it's not that thrilling, to be honest. No, those are just two different sides.

You're on the gambling heater. Oh, it's fake. Yeah. Well, yeah, they are. One says Nebraska's a volleyball school, and the other one says. KB, who you got first? That's a pretty good Photoshop. Yeah.

Okay, well, the point still stands that one looks cool how do you fit the L the L doesn't right yeah yeah would you do lowercase well what school were they at that means that that'll do okay that makes sense then because look at the vault yeah it's indigenous people's day today uh Uh huh Let's all name a tribe until we can't Cherokee Damn have we done this before Arapaho Choctaw

Iroquois I'm out What about the Irish guys out Hopi So there's three that are always used in crosswords ute hopi and oto okay they love you yeah you can never go i can still go a couple what do you got you got chickasaw mohawk um aztec no no i don't think so they are well wait oh do they count somewhere eerie lions the sioux iraq so indigenous to somewhere we could just start saying Oh, do they count? This is somewhere. Erie. Mayans.

The Sioux? Iroquois. So indigenous to somewhere, we could just start saying the Sulu tribe. Oh, I thought the Aztecs got up into a little bit of... Oh, they probably did. They were big boys. The French. Incans.

The French. The Jews. Yeah. Yep. Oh. Palestinians. I figured we would stumble into this somehow. That was a natural segue.

Easy. All right, everyone pick a side. Yeah, we'll start there, and once it's majority, we'll stop. Yeah, I was mansplaining the Israel-Palestine issue to every woman at that party. You were asking about that? No, I wasn't asking. I was talking down and explaining the whole situation as a means of improving my own stock i doubt that crew was up on on events maybe they were it was it was it was easy they had no clue i was distracted

because it was dad's weekend at mizzou oh i gotta find who made some of these guys so I can lick the spoon. How was Mizzou? Good? All right, let's start with – oh, my God. Yikes. How was the weekend with the Chicago Boys? Let's start with the road trip. Yeah, so we got in the car at 10.30 a.m., and I immediately fell asleep. We woke up to eat, and so I was like, oh, this must be the halfway point.

One hour in. So we had six and a half more hours. Chief drove? Chief drove the entire way. We had one very, very, very close call with an accident. We were in this big Wagoneer and slam on the brakes. We, like, drifted into the other lane. We had in this big Wagoneer and slam on the brakes. We like drift in the other lane. We had the GoPro on in the front of the dash.

So I think you'll be able to see that of the look of horror on all of our faces, which would be cool. Uh, white socks, Dave got toilet paper stuck to his shoe, which shouldn't happen outside of, of sitcoms,

but he was walking around with toilet paper on his shoe. I think he had no idea. Okay. Um, we went to this bar where it's just a bunch of slushie machines and they're alcoholic slushies. I got the toasted almond slushie.

Oh my god. That sounds too good. What? Yeah, he had no idea. He's outside. I know. We just walked out from the bar and it was really, really stuck on there. He's dragging it.

So you'll see him try to get it off. Oh no. It is really latched on there with some of the viscous most viscous shit probably. I check that before if my ass is clean. Yeah dude I would rather my ass be filled with shit than that.

And then he became self-aware. He was like, this would only happen to me. And he's right, yeah. What did he think? I thought it was the thing from fucking TV shows. From fucking TV shows. What a voice. What personality is that? So I did notice the kickoff was at 11.

That was the night before. So we got up at around 8 whenever the tailgate. Dave was in bed by 2 p.m. Didn't make it through the game. So we went back to the house just to charge up before we went back out and filmed some stuff. I walked into Dave's room to try to wake him. And he was – apparently when he's drunk as fuck, he sleeps like a baby, like an infant with the ass in the air. Eddie. No way. Apparently when he's drunk as fuck, he sleeps like a baby, like an infant with the ass in the air. Eddie!

No way. And I pulled Eddie in, and I took a picture, but Dave made me swear to never show it. He sleeps ass up. Like on his chest? Apparently when he's fucking wasted. Like downward dog? No, like an infant baby sleeps. Like a little baby, yeah.

Yo. I don't have the difference. Dave, apparently when he sleeps drunk. Ass in the air? Yes. How many times have you seen that? Wait, I'm still struggling to picture. Pull up an infant sleeping.

He does shower naps, too, and he goes fetal position whenever he's hung over. So he, like, takes it over to the bedroom sometimes. Yeah, but I walk in, I was like, what the fuck? I thought, like, he was under a cover, so I thought there was somebody in there with him. It was a weird lump under the bed. But yeah, he sleeps with his ass up when he's drunk, I guess, like an infant. Can we just pull up a baby? Because I don't want a photo of me doing that on the internet.

Picture like an inchworm almost. Yeah, kind of like that, but with his ass up a little bit more. Well, that baby doesn't have his ass up. Okay. A little more up. Yeah, search for baby ass up. Yeah, baby. Maybe I'll, but that's what he was, I thought baby slept like that, but he was like

arched a little bit. He needs a 24-hour camera. Yeah, he needs a 24-hour camera on him. How did he, I wonder how he originated the ass up. I think it's been since he was a child. All right. Yeah.

Thank you, Ed. You're welcome. Yeah, he made me delete the photo, though. He got so drunk at the game. Should we have Eddie on the White Sox Dave beat? Whenever we have a White Sox Dave question, we should get Eddie? Yeah, because Dave won't tell the truth. No.

Facts. You guys were supposed to come back today, originally, right? No, that just wasn't right. That was just bad information the whole time. Yeah, it was just not true at all. But the people of Mizzou, a good people. Good crop. Good crew.

Good crop. A lot of dads. Good God. So many dads. Hot dads. Brandon looks like a hot dad. Brandon, yeah, you're dressed. I think we're all shocked you're dressed age appropriate. Yeah, I'm just dressed normally, I guess. Yeah.

Piece of ass. Yeah, I don't know. I just. Like this is how anybody your age would probably be dressing, but now it's like when KB wears jeans. Everybody's like, oh, you got a job interview coming up? Yeah. No, I just threw it on.

It feels like good flannel shirt weather. You look good. It's good 50 degrees outside. Perfect weather. Listen on. It feels like good flannel shirt weather. You look good. It's got 50 degrees outside. Perfect weather. Listen, listen. I know Big Cat's not here. We're not going to talk weather on the show. That is bottom of the barrel.

It's about 50 degrees. 47. Of the north-northwest. It's exactly where you want to be. Feels great. Feels great. Me and Mook will be at the Bears tailgate this weekend. Yes.

Sunday at the, what is it, Jack and Coke? It's a Jack and Coke thing? I don't know. It's me and Mook will be at the Bears tailgate this weekend Yes Sunday at the Was it Jack and Coke? It's a Jack and Coke thing I don't know It's me and Mook If you guys want to come Stinky Tony will be there My attorney

Stinky Tony's coming Yeah Just got engaged Now you said I don't know if you said this off the air But Stinky Tony His nickname wasn't given to him Because he's stinky

No It was given to him out of spite My buddy Nico called shotguns Tony sat in shotgun instead, and Nico said, I'm going to give you a nickname that'll stick. Stinky Tony. Stinky Tony. Has been that for years.

We haven't heard from Nico in a while. He's good. He's good? Yeah. He was on a regular six-month rotation there for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dropping in, bringing shepherd's pie. Brought a bunch of shepherd's pie.

He's doing well producing music that's a tough nickname my uh freshman year of college we nicknamed our roommate who was an israeli kid we just called him mexico oh god because he like looked mexican yeah i guess that's how you get it people from that's a pennsylvania thing you're either if you're not white or black you're mexican you're mexican yeah and it stuck for like four months and then one day he woke up he was like if you call me mexico i'm gonna start swinging on you oh really he never started like that's fair that's really racist pissed yeah he got really mad it took him a while to get there though took him like four months of like build-up anger why do people call you AIDS Titus? It's a long story. Yeah?

Have y'all ever had a nickname? Did you ever have a nickname growing up? Never had a nickname. I was Little Tits. Little Tits? Yeah. Because you were chubby? Well, my last name is Tits.

Oh, shut up. And then I have an older brother who was Big Tits, and we were in high school together. But does he have, like, breasts? Does he have supple breasts? He actually does have bigger tits than me so it worked out yeah you are a little tits i actually was a little tits kyle you weren't kb until barstool right i was uh bauer okay yeah that's pretty good it's pretty fucking good and if they couldn't say it and mook you weren't mook until you wanted to hide your identity online yeah i had a lot of

bad nicknames yeah i was tomato at one point i was scum that's really bad um yeah uh i had a bunch why'd you get scum uh just in high school just getting fucked with okay scum bag bag tag scum why tag just kept going yeah skin tag is gross that's gross skin tag in tag yeah that's what we got that's what we call that was on your barstool skin tag i was loving the cream pie guy oh you're now you're fucking skin tags thanks to k yeah i feel like my dad's generation had really good. He has a friend that they call Prune Face. And it was because he had bad acne. Oh, God. But he was fine with it.

It didn't bother him at all. Yeah, nicknames back in the day didn't give a fuck. No, they were. My dad's friends have the best nicknames. Yeah, he's like, I'm getting together with Prune Face. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fishbowl. A whole big list of just ridiculous nicknames.

But they also had, for athletes, you get nicknames for the dumbest shit. It's like Jumpin' Joe jumped over the goal line to win. That was like their first name on the card. That's what we call him. He's Jumpin' Joe forever. And it's like everybody can jump. The play wasn't even that good.

Nicknames have gotten worse over the years. Yeah. I don't think we use them as much. Old football players are old. We don't use nicknames nearly as much as we used to. I think a lot of current NFL players just go by their nickname. Sauce.

Sauce Gardner. Yeah, Sauce Gardner. Debo Samuel. There's a guy named Kool-Aid that's going to get drafted, right? He's going to be a first-round pick, right? Is that his legal name? No. No. I don't know what it is, but it's – He goes by Kool-Aid that's going to get drafted, right? He's going to be a first-round pick, right? Is that his legal name? No. I don't know what it is, but it's he goes by Kool-Aid.

Kool-Aid's a good nickname. I agree. It could come off. Why not? I would have to. Kool-Aids was yours for a while, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was you.

That was me. Where's Sass? i thought sass was supposed to be uh he's coming tuesday night so he'll be on the show wednesday got early reports that sass caught a fish oh yeah talk about it you were in portland why doesn't he want to talk about i gotta I got to let Sass break this news. Okay. But fish were caught. Okay. Why are you doing that with your hands? Yeah, were fish not caught or something? Fish were caught. Plural fish.

Okay. Not the best fish. Okay. But fish. But fish. Were you fly fishing or were you? He was fly fishing. I had a cast, whatever.

I am not an outdoors guy at all at one point sass we went fishing every day at one point he looks at me and goes you're more of an indoor guys aren't you like is he an outdoorsman more than me okay yeah then he asked me if my parents ever taught me how to walk that was bad sounds like he treated you like shit, he was just so focused on catching fish, and I was more along for the ride. I was like, I want to be outdoors. I need to, like, touch grass kind of thing. How was the city of Portland? Terrible.

Yeah. Yeah. I like Oregon. Yeah, pretty. Portland, every person you talk to, it's like it's a major inconvenience to them. Really? Every person. They're rude?

They're rude. Why are you speaking to me? How many people would you talk to? Probably five. One. One. Outside the club, yeah.

One, and I got the memo. Did you see anybody shitting? I saw a lot of poop. Yeah. Really? A lot of poop, a lot of tents. Big man turd outside

from White Sox Dave Park. Big turd outside. There's turd everywhere in Chicago. There's turd everywhere in Chicago. There's turd everywhere. I've seen nothing but cleanliness. Well, yeah, you're staying out of the alleyway. Well, there's a big turd out back if you want to go see it.

You said it's a man's? There's a big man turd. It's been there for a week and a half. There's no girl ass that's making that. Yeah, a lot of dogs. I haven't seen a lot of turd either. Where can you find it? In the alleyways?

Right back here. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Big turd. I see a lot of signs for rats, can you find it in the alleyways right back here yeah all right yeah big turd i see a lot of signs for rats but i don't see the rats themselves coming from new york do you feel like there are rats in this way i don't know why new york's different because they don't have alleyways so the rats are just in the garbage right in front of your apartment yeah there's also subways there which is good for the rats. Oh, yeah. Perfect for rats. Okay.

Yeah. We don't have good rat tunnels here, although I do live in Wisconsin. You're correct. Yeah. You are way up there, Chief. And there are subways here. A lot of cheese. I made a mistake the other day. Friday, I wanted to – you can't bet on Illinois sports teams in Illinois.

Yeah. So I said I thought I could go to Wisconsin and bet. I thought it was legal to bet up there. So I drove to Wisconsin. How far? Three minutes. Yeah. It I said, I thought I could go to Wisconsin and bet. I thought it was legal to bet up there. So I drove to Wisconsin. How far? Three minutes. Yeah. It was three.

Was it actually? It was three minutes. Yeah. Damn. I rode across the state line, and I parked, and I ended up, I couldn't bet. But I didn't realize I was that close. So a three-minute drive is how far of a walk? Ten for me, maybe.

Ten minute walk. It wouldn't have taken. It was a mile. Can we say the high school nickname? Yeah. Well, it's no secret at this point. It's Antioch. Yeah.

The Seacoats. The what? The Seacoats. Have you ever heard of that as a high school nickname? The Seacoats? Seacoats. Yes. How do you spell that?

C-O-I. No, no. S-E-Q-U-O-I-T-S. The sea koi. Oh, what is that? It is a small, smooth pebble found at the bottom of streams. A pebble? Yes.

And they added, I believe, they added like Indian imagery, like an arrow. It sounds Indian. arrow Native American excuse me they added that they have like a spear or an arrow or something like that but it's a small pebble in the stream I think I bet you that is the only one in the country the only sea koi? yes probably

what's the mascot look like? I haven't seen the mascot I don't know I just know their helmets or their logo has a spear on it. There you go. Yeah. But that could be way better. There's no reason for the spear. There's no... No, I think...

Did they change it from like... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But a sequoia... I think the name for the sequoia is an Indian word for that particular pebble or stone. And if you think of a small stream or creek that has clear water and has those beautiful pebbles at the bottom, those are beautiful. Those are beautiful.

Those are beautiful. That's a boring logo. No, it looks like they've always been the sequoias. Are you sure that wasn't the name of the tribe? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I didn't make this up, guys. It's a stone. Did you get this information just by Googling sequoia?

The guy on the sideline told me. You were on the sideline this time. Yeah. There you go. Meaning smooth pebble in the bed of a stream. That's intimidating, man. I love high school nicknames. High school nicknames are the best.

Hobos in Laurel Hill, Florida was my favorite. Laurel Hill Hobos, yeah. What's their logo look like? Don't know. Don't remember. That had to have changed. I think it has some Native American imagery. Hobo has to be combined of two. Homeless what? H-O is homeless.

Is that what it is? I don't know. Boy? Homeless boy? Bastard. That would be hoba. Yeah. There's the hobos, yeah. I know my middle school, there was North Brandywine and South Brandywine, and South Brandywine was the Rebels, and North Brandywine was the Yankees. And they eventually-

Let's scroll up. This is up north. They decided that. People used to age so fast. He was probably 12 in that photo. Look at the chest hair on that guy on the right. I'd fucking destroy that basketball team. Yeah, dude. I don't... They're wearing

knee pads. Maybe not. Yeah, why are they wearing knee pads? And they're all dead, probably. Yeah. 40s. Also, 10's numbers off-center. You know they all smoke cigs. It's kind of hot. What's another good high school nickname?

What was that city in Iowa? The Sac? Sac City? Sac City. Sac? Yeah, I don't remember Sac City. My favorite in Indiana is Cass High School in northern Indiana. It was the Kings, but then their girls' basketball team was called the Lady Kings.

Which is actually kind of progressive. Yeah. It's like the lady doctors. Don't you mean nurse? Yeah, they went from not being progressive where they're like, fuck that, we're not calling our girls queens. Just fall in line. We'll just call them the lady kings.

By not being progressive, they circled around. They circled around and it's like weirdly the most progressive. They went from the back of the line to the front of the line. Yeah. The Cobden High Appleknockers. Appleknockers. Frankfort Hot Dogs. Appleknockers sounds like titties.

It does. The corn is the one that knocks. Hot dogs? Frankfort Hot Dogs, yeah. The movie Blue Chips was filmed at Frankfort's gym. Hot dogs. The Corn Jerkers. Was the gym that big?

Every gym in Indiana is that big. Yeah, but the Western University's gym was there. It was a Frankfurt's gym. Hot dogs. The corn jerkers. Isn't a gym that big? Every gym in Indiana is that big. Yeah, but the Western University's gym was there. It was a high school gym? It was Frankfurt's, yeah. Frankfurt's. Because that's not a small gym. Brandon, if Westport built a new high school, do you think you'd get Westport? Brandon, we have to go to any high school basketball.

We're going. We're going. Yeah. Do you have enough money where you could be the largest donor to name a team? I would definitely participate yeah i would try cut a check to antioch high school and see if they'll name something after you how much do you think it'd cost i think that's a wealthy area that's a that's that's how you got to go back down to mississippi yeah i might have to miss it all right i have to miss

doing mississippi do you think you get the scoreboard named after you i think i think i donate scoreboard yeah although we we just got a brand new scoreboard. We have a Jumbotron at my high school. Y'all got a Tron? We got a Tron. So I don't know. Maybe I can get a bigger Tron. Is it a baby Tron? No, it's a fine Tron.

It's not a huge Tron, but it's a Tron. KB, who is the mascot for the West Virginia Polka High School? Dots. The Polka Dots. That's adorable. Scary, scary little dot. The Hoopston High School, Illinois Corn Jerkers. Thad Mata, my college coach.

What is a Corn Jerker? Yeah. Corn Jerkers. The Yuba City Honkers. A more violent Husker. Frankfurt High Hot Dogs. That's cute. There you go. Anybody thirsty for a can of alcohol yes i do i know i got a perfect i have a perfect thing for you uh high noon it's time to load up on the

ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon game day pack is back it includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit made with real vodka real juice 100 calories gluten-free no added sugar the high noon game day pack is a fall exclusive which means it's here for a good time not a long time visit high noon spirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you um we were talking about getting gut by a photoshopped image we've never really brought this up and kai i don't know if you're comfortable was your butt sweat photoshopped in that picture of uh the mousetrap day no i saw it in person um yeah no no is that a normal is that a wet day that thing was juicy that wasn't even top three of that week also that was the week i quit weed

and i started sweating crazy but dude your ass crack might get deeper due to erosion of the water flow. Yeah. You might split in half. That was egregious, yeah. That was like a whole stain. I mean, what can you do, though? You had to throw away that underwear from being too stained. I think it stained through the shorts, too.

That must have been another stain. Are you generally a big sweater? I feel like wrestling maybe your body's conditioned to sweat. Genetically, my dad sweats a lot. But you start and stop habits so much. You're always in a state of withdrawal.

So maybe that's it. I started a new habit. Trying to binge the NFL. You start on first season? I started with the NFC West. Okay. I don't know if I want to just, because it's hard. Do I want to do seven more divisions,

or do I just want to be like a mastermind of the NFC West? What are you binging? The NFL. No, I know that. What does that look like? Just like pretty much like the star offensive players, But what are you binging? The NFL. No, I know that. What does that look like? You're absorbing too much knowledge. Just, like, pretty much, like, the star offensive players and, like, the very good, the all-pro guys.

Okay. NFC West is a good place to start. So, yeah. The running backs. What about Puka Nakua? So, no, he's not current. He is? Like, shit that would probably be – yeah, he's current.

Oh. Shit that would probably be asked in trivia okay um can you name five rams quarterbacks yes good question yes um they had a lot it's true it's true uh mark bulger sam bradford kurt warner um two more oh jared goff matt stapp here we go damn mark bulger was my favorite uh football player for a very long time he went to wvu yeah yeah so i was like i learned like a lot of oh my god that's stuff oh see i thought that was i thought that was darkened but it looks like you're wearing it looks like you're wearing a thong underneath. Look at the way the shadow is accentuating the cheeks.

Are your ass cheeks that big where it has that shadow? I have a fat ass. You have two shades of shadow. Yeah, zoom in on the shorts too. That looks like shit. Yeah, it doesn't look shit. I'm going to be dead honest. Yeah, I'm not going to beat around the bush.

That looks like shit so now i don't know i might try to cover exonerate myself that's not sweat that's that's shit that's the possibility it was shit yeah that's that's like the lube the after lube of the shit i think you can see the brown right there am i lying yeah that's tough done shit my draw Am I lying? Yeah, that's tough. Done shit. Shit my drawer. And I actually examined that after it was posted. I thought it was Photoshop, so I thought it was like, oh, this is way too egregious to even be brought up. No, it's embarrassing. Wasn't it you? Was it Fart Eliminator when you farted and the dot appeared on your words?

Oh, no. Yeah, I don't know. And then you shit yourself when we were filming a best of the yak in the podcast room. No, that was worse. It just smelled like I shit myself. That's not worse than shitting. I would rather it smell like I shit myself without shitting my pants. That's a problem. Wait a minute.

Would you rather have shit in your pants but nobody smell it or it smell like you shit yourself and no shit in your pants? The former. I wouldn't want to shit in my pants. I would not want to shit in your pants the former i wouldn't want the shit in my pants i would i would rather have the shit in my pants and nobody can smell it right how much shit are we talking and how silent is it i'd rather have a silent shit than have everyone think you're smelling like shit is that's like the worst trait you could have yeah and then people don't forget that you smell like shit once you, you're a stupid guy. Yeah. Yes. I sharted myself on the way to Melissa Bradley's, like,

sixth grade birthday party in the van once. Oh, were you with friends? And, like, yes. And Mike Paykoff, I wanted to hold his hand while we skated. And I totally blew it. I shit myself after I got my green sash in Kung Fu. And Sifu Ra, he noticed. And I quit Kung Fu right after I got my green sash. Is that not a belt?

It was Kung Fu. I got sashes. Okay. They don't call them belts. It went over. Sifu Ramsey didn't. Sifu if you're watching. There's no coming back from it.

Dangerous man. But I thought you quit. After that. Can you still do this if you quit? Yeah, it's like being a Marine. Okay. I shit in the woods on a school field trip. And I was in a group with two other people.

And I made them swear not to tell anyone because I had to wipe with my underwear. So I was going commando for the rest of the day. They had to have told someone. One of the kids in the group was special. And he blackmailed me for like two years. He blackmailed you? Yeah, he was like, I will tell people about this shit. You were blackmailed by the special ed student?

I had to buy him like ice cream sandwiches at lunch for like two years until he finally gave it up. What was this field trip that you were just in the woods? We went out to the Poconos for like two days in sixth grade. Okay. A two-day field trip? Yeah. We slept overnight. It was called Peak.

We had Reap, which was the same thing. We went to Red, same thing. There we slept overnight it was called peak it reaped which was the same thing two days we went to red same thing there we go i think everybody had it we never had somebody shit in the woods there i don't want to say his name of course you shit everyone on a two day trip one person shits in the woods yeah yeah i couldn't hold it more than one shit in the woods because you have a cabin yeah the toilets yeah i got blackmailed. What's that kid up to today? Still in that grade?

Yeah. Probably. So be it. You shit yourself, Brandon? No. We all told a shit yourself story. Well, I don't really have one. I've had remarkable control over my bowels.

Or your diet just makes you the most constipated person. You're a big cheese man. No, I shit heavy. I'm good. I'm a good shitter. I don't think I've ever shit myself either. I shit in the woods before. You both have. I have shit in the woods before.

I went squirrel hunting one time with my uncle, and then I was scared to shoot an animal, so I would sneak off, and then I ended up shitting myself. Wait, you shit yourself? No, shit in the woods. What would you wipe with oh leaves yeah you got it you went leaves yeah i went full boxers i don't want leaves damn i would probably go leaves too i'll go sock i in a cornfield my grandpa had a cornfield sat on a log with my ass a little bit further back it was fine it's fine yeah yeah i pooped over the side of a crabbing boat yeah oh pooping in the ocean is love it that's a freeing feeling yeah i've never pooped i'm afraid of like when my ass is open i'm gonna get like it's gonna swell in yeah i don't so you're just out there

as the waves are popping up and down you're you're shitting past the break in a calm part and ass is out just letting it rip and you really don't know what's going on down there yeah but like you might draw like some fish fish up your ass how do you relax your boat fish i just kind of gave that let it go yeah fish yeah is that an amazonian fish yeah it swims up your urethra yeah oh that was an anaconda spikes in its mouth that was an anaconda you have to go out of your way to shit in the ocean. Yeah, you really have to. Yeah.

But if you're out there and you've got to shit, I mean, why not? Something about the beach makes me have to shit. As soon as I get there, I'm like, ah. But I just go. The beach bathrooms are the most disgusting bathrooms. That's probably why. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever had to shit on a beach. I'm not sure. I've told on here before. Yes, I did. The tampon. I pulled out in the ocean no no you didn't no no that's not something we've gone over we were all out if i was hit by a tampon as i was body surfing i i would kill myself we were out on my aunt's boat and i was afraid we had been out all day and i was drinking and i was afraid i was gonna get you guys know toxic shock syndrome where you leave a tampon in too long and you start to get

like, you can get sick. And I convinced myself I was trying to feel sick from that and not like all the alcohol I was drinking. So I jumped off the boat. We were like, not docked, we were like anchored and I jumped off the boat and I went way under the water and I was like, plunk. Did somebody think you got bit by a shark? No, I pulled it out and i like flung it

under the sea and then like swam up away from it and then float it it popped up and a seagull came down and took it and yeah and my aunt like i could call her right now and she'll tell you that that's what happened but everybody was like what is that seagull going for and it was uh it was really gross yeah bloody tampon is what that was yeah but i was fine speaking of the sea hawks a lot of the sea hawks the stars have been struck by tragedy yeah yeah like which ones steve largent he seems sean a Sean Alexander has 12 kids. Didn't know that. One died, unfortunately, at two months. I had no idea.

You have 12. Because everyone says Rivers is the kids guy. Cromartie is the kids guy. Alexander has 12. I didn't even know Alexander had 12. Yeah. Can you name any of them? No, I don't. I bet one of them is Sean Jr.

Evan. I bet you they have two. Evan Nevaeh, I think. You think? I think I read that. Who else? Matt Hasselbeck. Him and his wife were both struck by lightning.

Really? Different times or together? Different separate occasions. So if you get struck by lightning, aren't you more likely to get struck by lightning again? I think so, but I mean that's crazy. It changes the composition of you? Maybe. Have you ever seen like these scars that lightning strikes leave you?

Yeah. Looks sick. Sick, yeah. Especially if you have a chain on or something. Who's the guy that named all his kids junior? George Foreman. George Foreman. All George, yeah.

So, go back. When you say you binge the NFC West, you're really going deeper than just football knowledge here. This isn't football at all. I look at their Wikipedia. It's like, Hasselbeck struck by lightning, Earl Thomas struck by his wife, and then his house burnt down because of a lightning strike. Really? Wow.

But he was struck by his wife. Struck by his wife. Earl Thomas got caught having an orgy with his brother. Oh, yes. Okay, I remember this now. By his wife. And she held him at gunpoint. That happened relatively recently, like the last three or four years.

Yeah. Huh. All right. Well, Tyler Lockett, virgin. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Virgin?

Bald virgin. This is like AC Green. Like still? He's abstained. Still married. Is he married? He might be married now. I think he got engaged.

He's almost there. So he's almost still a virgin i think so i got engaged 30 years old good for him dk no way dk's a virgin dk not dk he's a unit dude yeah yeah jeremy i feel like football players aren't as good at having sex as you know about him the tight end yeah super bowl From the Super Bowl team? He dated Hope Solo. They got in a fight. Really? Oh, yeah.

Is he who Solo beat up? Maybe. Didn't she get domestic violence against her? Like a DUI. Yeah. They met with her kids in the car. She's not a lesbian? No.

No. All the other ones. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. She's the one with the beat up. Yeah. Beat up John.

Yeah. The what? The what? Yeah. Beat up John. What does that mean? She's not the most aerodynamic. I think she's all right.

Wait, what? She has a. There's just a lot going on. She has a. It mystifies the mind. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think that's what Eve had. A beat-up John? What is that?

It's like looking down at a labyrinth. Yes. Like a lot of flaps? Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, that type of John. How do we know? It was out there. It escaped.

Yeah. it was out it was out there it escaped yeah no i watched that show on netflix this weekend that shows full penis you know what i'm talking about full penis as in i thought you're the frontal dating that of a clown dating show where the guys get in the tubes and the lady stands in front of all the tubes and the tubes open up and i don't open up and it's all their dicks and if you want to make fun of our not our i'm not me roast beef fuzzy penis every single one of those penises was fucked up was jacked up h is it hbo i think it was on i thought it was on netflix i don't know what i pat wait but how's it a jacked up penis? Well, most of them are uncircumcised.

Share with the room what you're Googling right now. I'm looking up the whole solo picture. It looks like the divide in Stranger Things between the real world and the upside down. You know what I mean? Oh my god, Brandon. Jesus Christ, Brandon. what did you do brandon

you added something to it i just wanted to see i don't know don't you dare you dare just don't worry about it move on or this is shots solo makes a grown man just up and leave all right well don't worry about it. What are we talking about? Ladies, there's nothing wrong with being floppy. How weird. Not me, though. I'm great. Well, all right.

What else? Did you find it? No, those penises were super weird. And even the ones that were circumcised were super weird. Curvy. And it made me feel like, yeah. Short. No offense to Nick.

There were some weird curves. There was. I've never said that. Why would that? The curvy sword lady. You're right. Yeah, it's like a scimitar. The other day, the lady who was doing the curved sword.

At his hip. No, but the uncircumcised ones, which is fine, you do you, but some of of them it was like 10 old burlap sacks all sewn together what's the premise of the show it was you picked so say it was me i'm looking to date a guy but i'm going solely off body so slowly each of say there's like seven guys in front of me but they're each in like an austin powers style like cryo tube but you can't see them fully yet and slowly it goes up so first i get to judge like off the legs and i i eliminate a guy can they eliminate whenever and then it goes you eliminate by each time it goes up a little more you eliminate so then it goes up to the penis and the lady is literally walking up and being like holy like right up to the penises and And she, the first penis she eliminated,

she's like, look at these little balls. I just, this is the kind of penis. Like, I just want to mother this guy instead of be with him. And the guy was like,

she's right. I donate a lot of money. Oh, dicks have to look like optical illusion, like MC Escher. Yeah. There's nine. She like nipples.

And how do you know? Uh, I was on season seven yeah wait so what happens after they show the face eventually after she as she eliminates you the whole thing comes up your whole self is revealed totally naked and you're like she got me and not as fit as i want to be they're like they do after the show they have normal ass jobs like accountants and engineers and like whatever and it's full-on the cameras like are zooming in on their genitals i didn't watch an episode but they do the women too really i didn't watch any of those it's called naked attraction yeah yeah it just hit hbo apparently it's like a big like parents are

pissed about it yeah it's just full dick and as it's like a big, like parents are pissed about it. Yeah. It's just full dick. And as it goes, it tries to give you scientific facts. It's like she did eliminate the man with smaller balls because he needed mothering. And they do say that the testosterone of smaller balls makes a man more prone to like it tries to make everything. Brandon, that's why you don't talk to your mom very much. Yeah. Yeah. Because my balls have disappeared.

She senses. It's all sack now yeah it'll like look at the nipples and be like see these larger nipples on this guy means he's this type of human and it's like are any of the men good looking guy are they all just well they're british so no the british and are the women good looking the lady who picked the first guy i was like wow she's like super attractive and then she had a giant tramp stamp on her back of wings because she got naked at the end too and then like leapt up on the naked guy she picked whoa yeah was it all white guy dick uh no there was i think two guys that were not like guys so you could see theirs as because

it's going up from the bottom you're gonna see theirs first yeah yeah you'd see theirs as, because it's going up from the bottom, you're going to see theirs first. Yeah. You'd see my dick on like stage four. Due to my right. Due to the right. Just get rid of the fucking sign. I'm tired of the goddamn sign. They know what fucking show is. I'm tired of the goddamn sign. But like hairiness and all this other stuff.

She just like picked these men apart physically. And yeah. But the first guy was tough. But they don't get to see ass or do they walk all the way around? No, they spin. They spin. The emphasis on like...

They don't bend over. I think I'd rather show my dick than my ass. Spokes the ass. Really? Yeah, it's concave. You don't have an ass. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Huh. I mean, once you've seen... Once the dick's out... I would do so bad on that show. Yeah it's concave You don't have an ass Yeah right Yeah Huh I mean once you've seen Once the dick's out I would do so bad on that show You gotta watch it though I highly recommend But those penises were I was shocked

It's on Netflix? HBO HBO I mean what kind of mental state Do you have to be in to be like Yeah I'm gonna go show my dick on HBO It's somebody that showed their dick a lot It seems like HBO

Purposely casts Like shitty dicks. None of them were groomed. All of the shows, I was just watching Righteous Gemstones. The dicks were awful. Bad dicks. They had dicks on Game of Thrones, too. Yeah, but they're all...

There's dicks in all these shows? There's a lot of dicks in Game of Thrones. They're all uncircumcised, right? Historically, I'd imagine they're tapered. They look like jogger legs They're CGI-ing dicks Or you just attach a little foreskin prop There was so much foreskin

Sorry I'm really thinking about it now It was just shocking There's a British comedian that did like dick puppet stuff On stage It's always the British Oh there was a whole play right? The whole play was his penises I'm thinking of Jackass The most recent Jackass It's always the British. Oh, there's a whole play, right? The whole play was his penises? Yeah, he makes like...

I'm thinking of Jackass. Yeah, the opening. The most recent Jackass that came out in theaters was 90% dick. You could tell the guys were getting old. They don't want to hurt their bodies, so they'll just smash their dick. They're mailing it in. Let's just go all cock on this one. Because you don't feel ball skin, right?

I could karate chop ball skin and you won't feel it. It's between the balls. It's the ball that hurts. The ball hurts. The ball hurts, but, like, the skin itches sometimes. Itches. You can feel. But you could, like, probably chop that thing.

You wouldn't feel it. I don't think you could pierce it. I wouldn't want it pierced. Let's give it a go. You should chop Nicky Smokes. Put it on the wheel. Pierce your balls. I have my balls gauged.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon, you doing? Speaking of dicks and stuff, we're writing these books still, right? Because I'm pretty close to the climax. I was done. I wrote mine in three days. I've never been more excited to do an assignment.

I wrote mine immediately. I've just been adding on and on. I've been adding just metaphors now. I'll have mine written. Every sentence I have has a comparison almost, and it's pretty much unreadable now. Yeah, yours is like a, it's almost like a riddle. Yeah. But it's like funny.

Thanks, man. Mine has like a story that I like really. Ladies, I got into it. We could be, we could sell a lot, I think. Yeah, I think so. Sadly, yeah. I think we should do like 10 leather-bound ones that are like $100.

Whose idea is it? Signed by everybody. Yeah. Was it your idea to call it New York Times Best Seller? Yeah. Yeah. Why not? It'll sell a lot.

That would make you a two-time New York Times Best Selling author, right? What do you mean? Well, you've done it once. You've already been New York Times Best Seller. Yeah. Thank you, Brandon. How many people are on that list? A lot. A lot. It's a lot not hard we're not on it yeah you will be i feel like it's kind of hard it's well i think they like expanded the list too like it used to be like it became a

participation trophy type deal where i think it used to be like you had to be top 10 something or other and then they started adding like categories where instead of like fiction and non-fiction it was like like i think i was on like the the top 75 college basketball walk-on autobiographies and you were like mid-60s yeah and i was like mid-60s and then my agent called was just like you did it bro i was like no shit thank you sometimes i forget titus is like a real dude. What? Like you've done like real shit. I'm an old, I'm an old. It's always weird when somebody's hired that's qualified.

Yeah. We usually don't do that. Yeah, I know. Sometimes when I work at this company, I forget. No, I've done some shit. It's, I don't know. But none of it fucking matters. Yeah, you're right It's gonna end on it bup one day you end up on a seven-hour far more fun than any other job

I've had I don't think I could throw mousetraps it trying to think of how that would go at Fox Fox yeah, it feels like minorities minorities i'm sure they wouldn't care yeah dude i had a uh creepy pilot yesterday a creepy pilot yeah so he would like it was weird dude he would read the announcements after the first announcement he read like welcome to the plane he would say wait he said welcome to the plane he was like you know welcome to united whatever blah blah blah and then at the end of it he goes he was doing a set he was like doing jokes during his announcement and at the end of it he goes love you mean it oh i don't like that oh boy and that seems like he's after every other like the first time like there were some people that

were like oh like that but then the rest of the four-hour flight, everything he said, he ended it. Love you. Mean it. It was so good. I hate all this stuff. I hate the Southwest flight attendants are like kind. I hate that shit. I hate the stories that are, you know, they'll sing a song for you.

I hate any, I want you to bring me my shit and shut the fuck up. Strictly business. Yeah, strictly business. Have you guys had a jokester of a pilot before? Yeah. Headed off to Nashville when you're going not to Nashville. I'm just kidding, guys. Have y'all seen the videos of the pilots at the gate being like,

this is my co-pilot and it's also my daughter? Yeah, I saw that one. So that means it's two women flying. Yeah. Good luck. Wait, say that again? She's the co-pilot. The co-pilot.

She'll be like, this is my co-pilot, Allison, and she's also my daughter. I saw that on TikTok comments turned off. Because I beat Ryan. I don't really get that. What does that mean? Two women pilots. Oh, there's a woman saying this is me. Yeah, it's the pilot saying, hey, before we get on the plane,

I just want to announce today this is my co-pilot, it's my daughter, and it's her first flight, yada, yada, yada. Is that a joke? I don't get why this is content. Like, what's the – It was very heartwarming that, like, the mom was like, and I'm announcing my mom. I'm not sure why this is getting the third degree right now.

I'm not getting – I'm not mad at – like, not every time I ask you questions am I like – Well, he's third degreeing me, too. I'm trying to understand the situation better. I haven't seen this TikTok, so I'm trying to understand. There's two of them. What elevated itself to where someone filmed this and was like, you know what the fucking world would love is this video. I don't know.

I'm trying to understand why the video. I don't know why. There's got to be more to it. I've seen two. I've seen a woman and a woman and a man and a woman. And I've seen a man. I think it's like a rite of passage. The pilot dad and then the pilot kid ends up working with the same airline and they always try the airline for pr tries to get them on as fucking nepotism what it is get it out

of the industry get it out yep clean it up clean this industry up and get the fucking nepotism out fly the plane jimmy graham's a pilot yeah yeah he also played basketball in college yeah they always say that when he catches the ball yeah he's still in the league that was a big meme yeah with new orleans again what about um what you got about 49ers anything on bobby wagner bobby wagner uh is a beast he wags tackle the fastle a fan. I saw him tackle a fan. 49ers, C.J. Beathard had a brother who got stabbed to death. Bethard? Bethard.

Bethard, but his dad's a country star and brother. C.J. Beathard. Really? Beathard. Beathard. Yeah. I was watching a compilation of celebrities saying, gentlemen, start your engines before the Daytona 500.

And James Franco, so they switched it from gentlemen to drivers because of, I believe, Danica. And he fucked up his announcing of it. He said, drivers and Danica, start your engines. You meant to say gentlemen and Danica that's what I was doing Danica was perfect for a NASCAR just like she the NASCAR fans are gonna hate any woman that was driving yeah but then she also had like a crusty personality that like crusty yeah what she I don't know did she have a personality at all

yeah oh yeah she like every time she't win, it was someone else's fault. She convinced me GoDaddy was a porn site. Yeah. So the NASCAR fans were going to hate her anyway, and then she invited it even more, and it was a perfect combination. I remember she led laps at the Indy 500. Yeah, she did IndyCar too. The dudes took their hats off and spiked them on the ground.

Oh, the fans didn't like her at all? No, she's very hated. I didn't know that. She's very, very hated. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't she date Rogers during that time too?

Yeah, she did. For a while, I feel like. After I called dibs. Hmm. You can't call dibs on every woman. Then beat me to it. Get him. Get him.

I can't really call dibs anymore. Not very old i mean dibs uh name a woman um carista flockhart callista flockhart i'm not calling dibs on callista flockhart she's like old she married to harrison ford right really yeah i didn't know that he keeps crashing planes. He's already called dibs. He's got to be a lot older than her. He's a lot older than her. I'm going to say he's 82 years old. Is he better?

He's probably older than that. No. Probably. He's in his 80s. How many plane wrecks has he been in? He keeps on flying planes. Actual plane wrecks? Yeah.

I know JFK Jr. was in one. He was. Just one? It's pretty finite. 81. Holy shit. Oh, good call, Brandon. If you? It's pretty finite. 81. Holy shit. Oh, good call, Brandon. If you had one, if you survived one small plane crash.

Never getting on another. Harrison Ford is a stud earring guy too, right? Yeah, he's so cool, man. He's so cool. Yeah, just had a stud earring forever. There seems to be a lot of celebrities who've survived plane crashes. What's his face? Travis Barker?

Yeah. Yeah. How did you get that? He was drumming. That's a face. Heer? Yeah. Yeah. How did you get that? He was drumming. Yeah. That's a face. He's with it. Yeah. And his people died, right?

Yeah. Like, his was, like, super serious. He was pretty burnt from it, I think. Yeah. I think he just took his first flight since the incident. Yeah, Courtney got him on the plane. And that's how you know it's true love. I dream of plane crashes a lot.

You do? You dream of it? So I grew up dream of plane crashes a lot. You do? So I grew up right by the little airstrip. That was your first job, right? The little airstrip, yeah. And I dream I'm all the time in my yard and I see planes crashing. I dream it probably twice a week. But you're not on the planes.

I'm not on the planes. I'm watching planes crash. If you saw that. Can we look up the meaning of that? Yeah. I would love to have a dream interpreter on the show. Yeah. What would be your course of action?

Would you be like, damn, sucks for them? Or would you? No, I run over into the field. How many breaks would you take on the jog over? Well, depends on how many I would need. If it's daylight. I run into the field and I try to help. Yeah.

Huh. Damn. Huh. Goddamn. I have a lot. Do you have a lot of... Represent the battles going on between our consciousness

and unconscious mind. Your subconscious may be urging you to go one way, but your mind... That's too general. That doesn't mean anything. And the emotional toll is represented by the crash.

I know, but... Wow. You're fucked up, man. You have a deep, dark secret that you don't want to reveal to everybody. Just be your true self. The battle going on.

Okay. I also dream that my teeth are falling out all the time. That's common. Oh, that's common. I dream that the brakes go out of my car all the time. Yeah. I dream that I'm missing class all the time. Oh, yeah.

I miss a final. That doesn't make you special. Okay. I dream that I'm back at my old first job my newspaper job and I've lost everything I'm starting over no no that sounds calm that's a thing yeah whatever happened to like dreaming about like fucking hot girl I know I can't I wish I could I know I don't think my brain can even build one mind is the concept of the wet dream yeah oh my god you haven't had one of those

were those were fun if I could take a pill where I could have one every night My subconscious mind is gay. The concept of the wet dream. Yeah. Oh, my God. You haven't had one of those? Those were fun. If I could take a pill where I could have one every night, I'd probably be. I would love a wet dream. That'd be awesome. You guys remember, like, you could, like, I remember even being cognizant. I was like, I know I'm dreaming. I can feel her lips.

Yes. Yes. I swear I can feel her lips. You're fucking the shit out of her. Yeah. I can feel her skin. And it's crazy. Yeah.

And you're, like, humping a pillow. That is a great point. When does that stop? I don't think your body's doing it. No, I don feel her skin, and it's crazy. Yeah, and you're like humping a pillow. That is a great point. When does that stop? I don't think your body's doing it. No, I don't think it is. It's completely hands-free. I know I'm dreaming, but I'm enjoying this. It's a terrific place to be.

Can you wake up and then go back to sleep and start that same thing? Yeah, when you have what you always want to. You're not like in your sleep thrusting, are you? No, I don't think. That would be so embarrassing. I hump. You're humping your bed. I'm a humper if you guys fell asleep tonight woke up tomorrow morning in the body of a kindergartner

you're you go to school you're a kid you're a kindergartner stacked or not stuck no you just it's just regular built okay um would you have a better chance of becoming a hundred million dollar businessman or an MLB player? A businessman. A businessman. I think with my brain I wouldn't be any better at baseball as an adult. But I think you'd be the best on your team in kindergarten. I think it would gradually even out.

You think so, but you'd know how to train your body. Maybe. You'd be way more focused. You'd be very situationally aware. I think you've got to add a third option. Baseball. I'm bound for juvenile hall in prison. That's my hypothetical, bitch. I'm sorry.

I think you'd fizzle out by the time. I don't know. If you have the focus you have as an adult, the IQ of baseball. You'd have a very high baseball IQ as a kid. It'd be off the charts. And you'd know how to train your body. And you wouldn't want to be distracted by anything else. You'd be like, I want to do baseball.

I think baseball would be easier. I don't know. I mean, to do baseball i think baseball would be easier i don't know i mean that's like genetic i don't know man no baseball players are tiny guys how do you plan to make like dominicans how do they all i mean i don't know you'd be the smartest in your class you'd probably earn scholarships and stuff like that you'd be gifted yeah but at what point would you stop at what point would i stop being the smartest person i was gonna say at a certain point point, everything would catch up to you. No way. Because if you have –

By like 10th grade, I'm the smartest person in the class. If I redid high school right now. If I did your focus and drive. Yeah, you're right. I think that would probably help. I don't think anybody would ever catch up. 30 years of wisdom and life experience on people. But I think you plateau with your wisdom.

You go to college, you wouldn't party. You agree with everybody? Yeah. You guys are both making great points and I respect you both a lot. I think it's an interesting hypothetical. I think it's one of those plateaus where if you read at high school right now, I don't think

I'm getting that much better grades. I think I'd be so bored. I think you care about school more and you're like, okay, I know this is important. It might be hell. Sitting through a third grade class after a year, you might just be... You might kill yourself. You'd probably jump grades.

You'd be one of those kids that finished college at 11. There's some really fucking smart, like, 14-year-olds though. I don't know if... So you think baseball? So there's academic smart... You'd have a better chance of making it in the MLB. I would definitely do baseball.

What sport would be the easiest to start in? I think baseball. I think you focus on golf. If I'm in kindergarten, I'm learning how to throw a knuckleball immediately. Because that's no matter what physically I become. You're not going to throw your arm out? Yeah. I know that.

I mean, you're stuck in T-ball. If you know how to throw a knuckleball. I'm back to, I think, my plateau with how – so learning a knuckleball early, does that help you get a professional-level knuckleball ever? I think you'll always just be good. Kindergarteners want to go hang out with friends and go to birthday parties and eat candy. I would still do that. You would go to a kindergarten birthday party with your mind?

Yeah. Yes. You also don't want to be an outcast. Imagine being made fun of. Getting to enjoy kids' things again would also be kind of awesome, right? Yeah, I might end up in a worse spot. Yeah, you might just. This is awesome.

Okay, so yeah. Okay. Would you have a. I'd be a YouTuber. You'd be a YouTuber? That'd be easy. You'd start smoking weed in third grade. That is true.

You could start a YouTube. That would be a problem. You would know all the funny little things to say that adults would think was hilarious. And you'd be able to... Being a funny kid would be easy. Yep. But also being a horny adult mind in a kid and then not being able to do anything about it. Oh my God.

You could do something about it. You could just only get it to a level. Like, if you went up and... I'm not touching my boy dick. Is that statutory? At what point do you touch your boy dick? So, like, 0 to 6, you have a lot of freedom. Like, you can get away.

But then 7 to 17 or 14 would be tough. But if you were, like, going over to your friend's house and hugged their mom, you know, you could definitely get away with it. You can cop out. By eighth grade, I'm going to win over one of my teachers. But at some point, do you become a product of your environment? If you go back to six years old, and for the next six years, you're with six to 12-year-olds, does it lessen what your brain is now?

It's going to be dumber. Does it dumb you down? I think you'd show your intelligence. They'd probably jump you off the fucking high school. Yeah. I'm not that... I don't think... You're just not that smart, Brandon.

Correct, yeah. You would be... I'd probably, like, sell drugs in middle school. To who? Side hustle. Add prison to the... Yep, prison would also be... I don't know.

Something to think about. Hmm. Would you rather go back with an adult's mental gifts or physical gifts? I guess you'd have to do mental gifts because physical, you'd be a freak. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd be a danger as a toddler, having a tantrum. Yeah, you'd be treated like a freak yeah couldn't play any sports all the parents would hate you yeah all the yeah yeah

you ever see the learning channel like world's strongest boy no you ever see that he has some kind of genetic act he's so jacked yeah he's like four years old and he's like but isn't that boy like 20 not gonna rip I don't I don't know it's like that don't age for some reason you're like oh yeah it's still 12 but it's like 10 or 15 years ago on the internet there was this young bodybuilder yeah that eight pack boy he should be like 20 years old now right yeah i don't know if that yeah strong boy how many years ago was it like it's been a while been 10 15 to 15. And he was how old? Eight.

But like his dad would come downstairs for breakfast and he'd just be like. 23. So he should be somewhere in that range. Yeah. He should be in college right now and playing linebacker for Iowa. But dad had him playing football. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, I gotta pee.

I'm sorry. See ya. No, that's okay. What the, um. We got another one? You ever have dreams that make you pee? Yeah. No. You do? When I dream about pissing, I piss the bed. Yeah. Yep. Uh-huh. What the um You ever have dreams that make you pee Yeah No You do

When I dream about pissing I piss the best Yeah yep Uh huh I had a piss dream Oh He's not strong at all No look at him when he was little though Oh yeah I remember him now

So he's that guy at the top Yeah that kid Yo what the Look at that Oh that's disappointing See he fizzled out He fizzled out he fizzled out can't keep it up

little Hercules dang he ditched the weight but I wonder how much did they make money off of him so was that like a syndrome that made him

look like that no I think dad just pushed him or working as a stuntman at Universal Studios Hollywood Waterworld

that sounds he is physically gifted cause they go hard really damn yeah the stunts are crazy stuntman at Universal Studios Hollywood Waterworld. That sounds... He is physically gifted because they go hard. Really? Damn. Yeah, the stunts are crazy. Dude, he looks like Tarzan. How tall is he? Huh.

Wasn't that the conventional wisdom, that lifting weights would stunt your growth? They accused him of taking steroids. Is that true? Is that true? I don't... Lifting weights before puberty is supposed to be bad for you, yeah.. Is that true? I don't... Lifting weights before puberty was supposed to be bad for you.

Was that actually true? That doesn't seem like that. Maybe that's a myth. But I believe it would be bad for you. That boy had too many abs. Those were pretty... Richard had to eat heaps of lettuce while his dad enjoyed pizza in front of him.

No. There's no excuse. There's no reason to ever have to eat heaps of lettuce no that's so sad all right okay well prison game time yeah shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to the next big event game time has figured out the code uh to get good tickets late you wake up day of, you want to go? Hey, GameTime is going to have the lowest price, the best price for tickets, whether it's concerts, shows, games, events, no matter if you want to go to WWE Fastlane,

what happened this last weekend. Well, if you want to go to that, you might have to wait until next year. Well, yeah, because it already happened. Yeah, it just happened. So, Driver Series is coming up in Chicago. We'll hopefully – Damn, I love Cody Rhodes and Jay Uso together. Yeah, they were awesome.

They were awesome. I think they were a little drunk. I think they were a little high. Oh, really? Game time, the ticketing app of Barstool Sports. Download the Game Time app. Log on to GameTime.com. Enter your email and redeem code YAK yak for 20 off your first purchase terms

apply oh wait did you see that video of a spider i don't watch it that should be me i'm so jealous so live i what i want to know what she said live morgan riz spider up and that was a genuine smile on her face yeah yeah like that was she was actually stepping to him yeah spider looks scared and like people in the wrestling community are like, I ship these two together. Wait, what? What was this? What did that mean? They ship them. I believe it's like relationship in their mind. Oh, I see.

All right. Like this is an honest step to it. Yeah. I'll ship this little white boy. Big titty Taryn. The way she steps up. Whoa. What was that? I don't know. I don't know I texted him yesterday he said I don't even know what she said

what did he say DJ can you play the match he has no idea what's going on he hit him with a no hitter can someone translate what's going on he didn. He hit him with a no-hitter. Can someone translate what Spider said? I don't know. It's probably in the response. He didn't comprehend the words.

They crumbled him. So he's basically turning to the camera saying, I have no idea what she just said. I was so flustered. Right. He got rizzed so hard he forgot English. Yeah. Got it.

And she tweeted it. I don't know what she tweeted, but it was like, I don't know. I wanted to reply with that. Also, remember we were talking about financial domination? Not me! Not him! It's not fair! Yugi. Is she like a known hottie wrestler?

Yeah. How does she wrestle? She do flippity-dipp wrestle she do pretty good yeah she does the flippity flippity shit yeah she's been up about five or six years now she's she's been she beats john's up she don't say john's again does she uh does she do the she doesn't cock her she doesn't cock her wrist the superman punch no she i don't know what her finishing move is she's very small yeah yeah she is no who's the wrestler whose finishing move is the snake and it bites him and kills the person santino santino yeah live is your no joke it's your dad's favorite wrestler yeah santino put

the sock on us yeah no no no, no, no. He made his. No, no, that was McAuley. No, no, no. But then you have like. Sock Mr. Socko. He has something he puts on. He does have something he puts on. It's a snake.

But it's not a snake. It's the best finisher in wrestling. It's a cobra. It's a cobra. Okay, what is it? Can I get it? It turns his hand into a snake and it fucking bites you. If I put a sock. He's not putting a fucking snake on his arm.

What does he put? It looks like a puppet that looks like a snake. It arm, what does it look like? It looks like a puppet that looks like a snake. It's a puppet. That's the word I was... It's a puppet? It's a snake. It's a cobra. It's a cobra?

Let me see it. It's not a cobra. Look at him go. What is that? What is that? Is that a sock? Oh, fuck. It's not really a sock.

It's exactly what I said. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't bite him. Oh's exactly what I said. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't bite him. Oh, thank God he missed. When I said, does he put a sock on his arm, you should have said yes.

Yes. That's a sock. This sock is stupid. No, dude. That's a sock. Oh, shit. Oh. No.

He's putting on a puppet show. And people say this shit's fake. No, it's not fake. Oh. It got him. Oh, no. it got him it got him tell me that's not the best i love that yeah that you guys like is there something in your brain you have to turn on like to enjoy that yeah you have to completely get rid of any sort of hang up that it's fake mark can you do this i used to watch wrestling a lot and then um i don't anymore so i can i speak the

language i understand it i yeah but i don't know i don't want so i can appreciate like the actual acts of physical like superior like are you denying the awesomeness of that tj can you pull up a guy wrestling that little girl yeah i think you're laughing if you're not laughing you know what i'm laughing it's I think you're laughing. If you're not laughing, you know what I'm saying? Are the fans laughing or just you? It's a Japanese one. You're laughing. In that particular scene, people would be laughing.

Oh, you're laughing. All right, that's supposed to be. They played that up for comedy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it's not every wrestler, because there are some wrestlers that aren't as funny, and they're more like, I'm really fucking badass, watch this. And one of them's Roman Reigns, and he goes like this with his arm,

and then he punches people. Santino was a comedy wrestler. Yes. It's the coolest thing I've ever seen. The Superman punch. Yeah, he cocks it, so he hits harder. He cocks it. He just.

Well, yeah, but I mean. Yes, this is awesome. Is that a child? Yeah. Is this Kenny Omega? Is that his name? I like him. Yeah.

Fuck her up. Japan does it so different. There's one promotion that a ladder was champion for a little bit. A ladder? Yeah. How'd a ladder win? There was an American promotion that had a match between two invisible people. Oh, yeah.

I remember that. Get her ass, Kenny. Did they do a match that was a ladder versus a ladder? Yeah. I think there was a ladder versus a crash test. Okay. A dog's been champion I mean what that you never done this fucker

Oh shit fucker up oh my god oh oh shit hell yes i got lucky they pulled out a good wrestler out of the crowd oh yeah Yeah, he's one of the number one guys in AW now. Him? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

Yeah. Sick. That's sick. All right. You want to spin the wheel, TJ? I don't even know what time it is. 1.30. It's 1.28 central time.

We got to do the rundown, huh? Kyle, rundown with me and Nick? Oh, no. Fuck. No, we're fine. What are y'all worried about? All right. Y'all want to wrap her up here?

Wrap her up. Yeah. I think tomorrow we should give an excerpt of our books. Yeah. I probably got a little time to write tonight. Okay. Yeah. All right.

I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow. I see ya. See ya. It's the act. It's the act. I'll see ya. Bye.