The Yak - Brandon is Terrified of Going on Ozempic | The Yak 8-6-24

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Welcome to the act. Good intro. That was pretty fucking good. I know you pre-wrote that. That wasn't off the dome. You're on stud mode today. What, this?

Yeah. Trying to turn a page dress my age act my wage uh roback roback cesaria collection is back for a limited time roback use code yak y-a-k at roback.com 20 off your first purchase r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com 20 off swim trunks all performance shorts polos and more with code YAK. Now's the time to buy swim trunks. Few more warm months, couple and then we forget about indoor pools. We do.

I almost took advantage of one in Cincy. There was an indoor pool. I was thinking about doing the naked gainer. Yeah, you should. You gotta love swimming to go to an indoor pool. I think a lot of people look at the indoor pool as a pinnacle of wealth. I think that would ruin a home. I think the chlorine smell would be...

I always hate it. Nobody likes pools that much. No. I have cousins in South Jersey who have an indoor pool, and they're in the back of their house. It's a flex. The house smells like chlorine. The whole house has to. Mark Kelly has a water park.

He does. That would be different like what was it blank check where he got one million dollars and spent about one trillion yeah he had a slide going from his room to the so that would suck too because you'd have to go through your house soaked yeah but when i watched it i was like that what is the most worth it flex buy for a billionaire? Trampoline. For a home. For a home.

I predicted this. I think in 10 years, celebrity homes are going to shrink significantly. That's a lot of house. It's too much house. More to vacuum, I always say. Yeah, that's right. I'm glad I don't live in a big house. Yeah.

No, you've really stuck it to the man. I did. One swipe of a always say. Yeah, that's right. I'm glad I don't live in a big house. Yeah. No, you've really stuck it to the man. I did. One swipe of a paper towel, the whole floor is done. You've rationed one Swiffer pad for the month. I'd say a lazy river. A moat. I was going to go with moat. If you had a lazy river moat around your house, I feel like you'd pop in that, sit in a tube,

and just like, really though? But I feel like if the lazy river was done right, it could look good. Like a pool, I don't think... Some pools look cool, but I don't know. If I lived somewhere warm and I had a Lazy River, I would... Indoor? Chill. No, no, no.

Oh, an indoor Lazy River would be insane. That would be insane. It would have to be outdoor. An outdoor Lazy River in your backyard. Super rich people could do both, where it goes outside and it goes into the house. That's class. That's class. Oh, yeah.

It's just class. Pure class. Class, class, class. Yeah. What would you do, Kyle? With what? With money? Yeah.

I wouldn't want a huge place. Would you want like a New York penthouse? Not New York, because that'd be way too expensive. You'd have $1 billion, dude. Just like a nice place. Santa Barbara. Yeah, thank you, Kyle. You're welcome.

Tennis court. Yeah. Like a gym. Like things that I would actually use on a regular basis. Yeah. I'd want like an in-home restaurant. A kitchen? Yeah.

An in-home restaurant like give me a kitchen yeah what's that word you're using no but like you could you could work in it give me a fucking chipotle in my house you know what i mean give me a starbucks who did that with taco it was i know it was an ad but somebody did that with a taco bell davante adams yeah davante a lot of athletes have their own barber shops in the house willie cologne had one did he have a barber shop yeah yeah i just want a full kitchen that's so sad i just want to be able to buy groceries and cook in my own what did uh richie rich have which was a different movie from blank check but similar vibes where i remember watching in the basement yeah at a mcdonald's pretty sure that's the ultimate sign of wealth you have a franchise in your own home and you had a McDonald's. He had a McDonald's in the basement. Pretty sure. That's the ultimate sign of wealth. You have a franchise in your own home, and you're the only customer.

That's so... I think that might be trashy, dude. I would have a full-time staff. A McDonald's, yeah. For sure, for sure. You have like a KFC Taco Bell in your own house. People stop by. That would be kind of cool. Yeah.

You would want customers to come in? Like your friends. Like private customers, yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool. But would they still have to pay? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you got to pay a little bit.

So it's just a KFC. Yeah. On the flip side of the coin, did you see in West Virginia, there's a trailer park completely surrounded by a highway off ramp? Completely surrounded. Yeah. Where is that? I'm not sure where at.

I feel like you could make money renting ad space on the top of your trailer then. Yeah, I guess you're right. Make it a whole little. Southern West Virginia. They're lucky if you think about it. Everyone lives right next to the road. Yeah. Because there's only so much room.

Yeah. There it is. Oh my God. There's not a green stack. I was on r slash urban hell. I like urban hell. Yeah. That's tough.

That's got to be the noisiest thing there why don't they move to santa barbara there's heroin there too it's uh john benet ramsey's birthday oh do you think she would have had tried heroin by now if she was alive yeah good question kyle it's also happy birthday to Minaj Shyamalan. Minaj? That's what the M is for. Oh. Oh. Oh, M. Night Shyamalan.

It took me a second. Yeah. It's a bird. It's Minaj? I think his name's Minaj. Oh. I thought it was Mac. M-A-N-O-J?

Mac. Mac? No, it ain't Mac. I said his name was Minaj on the rundown, too. What? Let's change it. Oh, so don't at me like you know. Yeah, TJ Buzzard.

Wrong. I was wrong. Fuck, yeah. Is it his birthday, though? Was I right about that? Don't double at me. Oh, thank God. There you go. It it his birthday that was i right about that are all his don't double at me all his oh thank god there you go birthday or does he have a couple fun ones that are just light and silly his movies yeah or are they all like he did cars three yeah yeah

he did avatar cars three drunk drivers just a fucking horror film. Yeah, that's the twist. All the cars are drunk. I don't know what he's done, silly. Last Airbender was a kid's movie, but critically panned. Does he have a new one coming out? Trap. Chase saw it with Eddie. Oh, and what'd you say?

Terrible. It was actually a promotional movie for his his daughter who's a very talented singer uh but it was her first movie and she's like the taylor swift like star in it uh they play 14 of her songs and it's her acting or movie acting debut 14 taylor swift song no 14 of uh m night shaman's daughter is like a wannabe pop star like that. Oh, that's fucking annoying. Ew. Were they good songs? They weren't bad, but it's crazy. And what's the title of the movie? Trap. So what if you were in the trap?

What if that's the whole point of the movie? Yeah, that's a good thing. You, the audience, are now in the trap by watching this movie. That's great. I 100% agree with that take. All the movie theater seats have sticky fly tape on them. It's perfect. Who's more successful, him or Alex Smith?

Him. Him by a lot. Am I dumb to ask who is Alex Smith? Quarterback. Almost lost his leg. Who had a better career? He did Sixth Sense. Alex Smith doesn't have a Sixth Sense.

Yeah, but how many misses does he have? I feel like that's the only movie I hear people say good things about. Sixth Sense, great. Split. The Village was very good. The Village, people hated that. People hated that movie. Alex Smith gets more respect in the streets, I imagine.

I think he does. Than M. Night? I would think so. Yes. M. Night's kind of a joke, isn't he? M. Night's way more famous than Alex Smith. He's more famous. More famous, but he's like a punchline.

I didn't know this movie existed, but if you're like, hey, man, we're going to the theater. We want to see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie. I'd be like, what are we? Are we going to clown on it the whole time we're in the theater? Why would we do that? What's the NFL equivalent to The Sixth Sense? May I ask? A player?

No, like a feat in the NFL. A feat? The comeback player of the year. Sixth Sense. May I ask? Like a player? No, like a feat in the NFL. The comeback player of the year? Sixth Sense is... That's like Super Bowl loss. His legacy... He's good at giving teens goosebumps. So are you. M. Night.

We get the twist aspect. Yeah. so are you are we talking about this M. Night M. Night like his twist like we're kind of we get the twist aspect yeah but he shoehorned himself as the twist guy which sucks that's what I'm saying he needs something

upbeat something just yeah he needs like a buddy cop like a Romy and Michelle he needs to do something with Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell yeah

have those two have those two ever been in a movie together Paul Rudd I don't think their squads link. Yeah. I think they run with two separate crews. Who's Rudd's squad? Apatow squad. It's Apatow squad.

Oh, Anchorman. Yeah, I was gonna say. I forgot about Anchorman. Oh, what was Rudd? He was in it. Yeah, he was in it. Oh my god. How soon we forget. It is funny how those crews like squad up though like an apatow film is like jason uh siegel yeah um it's like adam sandler has his squad right yeah is jay baruchel is he in the apatow squad what are we yes he is whoa yeah it's never been more

but six cents was like pre-internet who the the fuck is Alex Smith? I can't, I don't understand. He's a quarterback. How'd he lose his leg? He still has his leg. He almost lost his leg. Did you see it? Yeah. Picture of it.

Oh, is he the one it snapped on the field? Yeah. Okay, never mind. I know who that is now. He was. Skiing accident. Was he the, maybe this is a Che question. Was he the Chiefs quarterback right before

mahomes was he was he started over mahomes mahomes rookie correct yeah that's right until the last game yeah so he was the last chiefs guy before and he can't play anymore he played after he came back and i think did he complete one pass would he go to washington yes yeah that's cool his leg Yes. For Washington. What, are you going to Washington? Yes, for Washington. Yeah. That's fucking awesome. That's cool. His leg doesn't look human. Now? Yeah. Yeah, it's horrific.

Can I see it? Can I see it? Yeah, yeah. I think in that regard, I'd rather be a nice shit. I'd rather not have that on my leg. What is that, a bone? That's like... They took a bunch of skin and flesh from other areas of his body, I think, to like

rebuild his leg, I want to say. What is that bump? Yeah, right? That's what I'm asking. You don't need to point at it. We see. The thing in the bottom right. We see, dude. The thing in the bottom right is what I had on my legs. Gang and knee. No way. Oh my god, look at the picture of it. It's called the Lazaroff I think it's like the Lazaroff

apparatus or something. How painful is that, Zaha? Very. Yeah, I bet. Oh, yeah, that's it today. Six years after. Nice. Damn. Yuck, yuck. That's one of my worst current fears is like tearing my ACL.

I think you would just be fine. I think you would just live. That would be... You would live? Yeah, you would survive. No, you would live normally. If I tore my ACL? I think so. I feel you would just live. That would be... You would live? No, you would live normally. If I tore my ACL? I think so. I feel like I would die. You're not needing to turn on a time.

You just wouldn't be able to play sports. What NBA player right now doesn't have ACLs? Is it like Kawhi Leonard or something? DeJuan Blair. Was he a Spur? Yeah, he was a Spur. I confused my Spurs. I think you'd be fine. I don't even know if they let you get the surgery. Okay, I confused my spurs. Yeah.

Yeah, I think you'd be fine. I don't even know if they'd let you get the surgery. You don't need your ACLs, right? But I feel like the pain and the dehabilitation would be traumatic. Yeah, I wouldn't know how it feels. Yeah. I don't know. Has anybody ever tore their ACL?

Try it. Get out ahead of it so you don't have to be scared of it anymore. Face your fears. Should I just break it right now? Should we do it now? Yeah. You guys want to tear my ACL? Exposure therapy. That was a Jerry after dark.

We've talked about that. If TJ Watt got hurt, he would tear his ACL. Try to tear his ACL. Nothing makes you feel more washed than going to a doctor. And they say, you have this wrong with you. But honestly, just fuck it. Let it go. Just let it go like we don't need to fix you tore some ligaments but fuck it it would be easier for you to live out your life and die yeah that is that would be a slap in the face

they said they could put cement in the in like the cracks to straighten me out again. But the doctor's like, I wouldn't. Cement? Yeah. In your spine? Like little balloons of cement in the spine to straighten out my curve. Balloons of cement. But was the tone when he's like, but we won't, was the tone because you're old and washed

or because this is an experimental type procedure? It was the way he was saying it was kind of like but I wouldn't and I didn't ask I was like but why not he was just like I was like okay you're not salvageable anyways so it's not worth the trouble the vibe was like it's not worth the trouble I was like okay

I understand you've reached the you've reached the point of your life where you just get stripped for parts yeah right alright you're a limo on facebook marketplace you're totaled You've reached the point of your life where you just get stripped for parts. Yeah, right. You're a limo on Facebook marketplace. You're totaled. Yeah. Let her go.

Cement actually doesn't seem like a crazy idea. I think it does. Well, he said the problem is because my bones are all Swiss cheese now is that the cement would be so hard that it would crunch the rest crunch the rest of the bones maybe so you'd be all cement yeah I think that is that how the Wolverine became the yeah I do think a lot of those procedures are way more brutal than we realize yeah I was there was a time in my life where I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon and I had a one of my friend's dads was one so I was like that seems cool um and uh I went and shadowed him one time like when I was in high school. He let me in the operating room, and I just stood off in the corner.

He did a, was it a shoulder or a hip replacement? I think it was a shoulder replacement. And they obviously put the patient under, cut him open. I was, like, blown away by how, like, brutal. They're rough. Like, they're just fucking just, like, whoa. And, like, he's trying's trying to like get it to fucking get get in there and i was like oh i thought in my head i thought like surgery was like really

precise um watching liposuction makes me throw up yeah that is the most intense i'll never yeah i'll never forget it and then like the tools they're using are just like it's like a fucking hammer out of a garage yeah i i had no idea yeah so that that's not it's like a fucking hammer out of a garage yeah i had no idea yeah so that that's not it was like a robotic drill yeah yeah very very like precise and gentle this was almost 20 years ago so maybe it's gotten better maybe no it hasn't or maybe he was bad at his job he didn't know what he was doing i was at a wedding with a bunch of like drunk doctors and i would just go up to them and be like do you have pictures from surgery they were showing me all this shit and dude it is barbaric yes it is disgusting and barbaric and they're like pose they're like taking selfies with these people like big game hunters

yeah yeah oh no i i assume that it's it's yeah way more graceful i guess i don't know you told me you went in for a knee replacement at this point i'm just like yeah they probably just kind of. Well, the C-section when they were pulling him, my whole body was like, like the pad had to hold me still. Cause they were like,

sorry, we got a really yank here. The whole body was like shaking. Yeah. I believe that is gnarly. Yeah. And gross. Probably a pulpy.

There was blood on Pat's shoes. Like blood was flying. It was like a thing. I don't know. Blood on Pat's shoes like blood was flying it was like a thing i don't know blood on pat's shoes yeah oh i bet he was pissed which he was wearing the fuzzy ones wait does he have those grinch nikes is that what he they had the fozzy bear no he doesn't have any ideas, get the Grinch Nikes. Get the Grinch Nikes. We'll do it. You have to. Yeah. I know we're not a political show, but RFK talking about dumping the bear in the woods is incredible.

Oh, I didn't see it. Yeah, Ebo put this on our sheet for Mostly Sports, and I have no idea what he's talking about. I give the rundown. The year is 2014. Two ladies are walking their dogs in Central Park early in the morning. The one terrier is like alerts to something so these women go over it's a dead bear cub that's been pretty roughed up

and someone has placed a bicycle on it almost as if they tried to make it look like a bicycle killed this bear cub in central park okay the central park zoo does not have bears so that and it's not like a bear cub is gonna walk over the george washington yeah so the cops fingerprint the bike they're like because people in new york city will have like a tiger or some shit in their apartment like people have wild pets so the theory was somebody had this bear in their apartment couldn't handle anymore and like killed it and took it out long story short it was rfk yeah but he got out ahead of it in like the best video ever he's casual he's like yeah it came out a couple days ago that it was him that loved the dead bear

so what happened was he was he was up in the hudson valley in upstate new york he was upstate hawking i don't know what hawking is i'm assuming it's like hunting with a hawk so yeah something you can win if you donate to rfk you can win a day of falconry with him yeah yeah he was up doing falconry and he's driving to like the next falconry spot and on the side of the road he sees this dead bear cub and he's like i want the fur of this bear cub i want to skin it and take the meat so he puts it in the trunk of his car runs out of time realizes he's got to eat at i forget some fancy steakhouse peter luger in new york city no he gets there the end of the meal it's late now and he has a flight the next day and he's telling his friends he's like i got this dead bear in my trunk what

should i do and he's like i might just drag it out into central park and he did and that's what he did and then he staged it to look like a bike hit it so people wouldn't ask but they had a bike as well i think it was one of those city bikes or something he was drunk and ran over a bear cub in a bike he killed he slaughtered that bear himself but him explaining it to get out ahead of it how did he get out ahead of it so they knew they knew the news they knew he got got and so he put out a video of like him casually like sleeves rolled up and just like explaining it getting out ahead of to rosanne to minor detail rosanne bar thank you tj so one of that because he had told his friends the night that he had this dead bear cub in his trunk oh this isn't even on tv so the new yorker fact checkers reached out to him last week and were like hey we found out about the dead bear

from 2014 and because it's been this big mystery ever since like the whole city was trying to figure out like who done it and um the new yorker fact checkers i guess people in his close circle were buzzing about it and he's like i better get out ahead of this so he's just like casually telling this story in well putting it in the middle of central park makes me think he wanted to get caught. I think it was a drunk friend doing a prank. They ran over a bear. They're drunk. They're like, let's go. Let's fuck with people.

There are so many other ways to dispose of that bear. They wanted to. It was a prank. Yeah. Well, now if he's never president, we'll know why. Eating in Peter Luger with a bear in his car. Can we watch a little bit of the video tj taking a group of people up in goshen new york up in hudson valley tough voice yeah supposed to meet them there at like maybe eight or nine i was driving up maybe you know really

early like seven and that woman in a van in front of me hit a bear and killed it. I'm sorry I told this all wrong. So I pulled over and I picked up the bear and put him in the back of my van and it was very good condition and I was gonna and put the meat in my refrigerator and you can do that in New York City. You can get a bear tag for a roadkill bear. And so then we went hawking, and I had the bear in my car. And then we had a really good day, and we went late. We were catching a lot of game, and the people really loved it. So we stayed late, and instead of going back to my home in Westchester,

I had to go right to the city because there was a dinner at Peter Luger's Steakhouse. And at the end of the dinner, it went late, and I realized I couldn't go home. I had to go to the airport. And the bear was in my car, and I didn't want to leave the bear in the car. The captions.

Because that would have been bad. So then I thought, you know, at that time, this was the little bit of the redneck in me, there'd been a series of bicycle accidents in New York. They had just put in the bike lanes and saw people, a couple of people that got killed and it was every day and people had gotten badly injured every day it was in the press and so i thought i wasn't drinking of course but people were drinking and i said i had a whole life in my car that somebody asked me to get rid of i said let's go put the bear in central park and we'll make it look like he got in by the night. Fun, funny for people. Oh, he admitted that. Yes, yes. He's like

getting out of it. That's a great idea. So we went and did that and we thought it would be amusing for whoever found it or something. The next day, it was like, it was on every television station. It was the front page of every paper and I turned on the TV

and there was like a mile of yellow tape and there were 20 cop cars there were helicopters flying over it and I was like oh my god what did I do and then they were there was some people on TV in Tyvek suits with gloves on, lifting up the bike, and they're saying they're going to take this up, too. Oh, they're going to get a finger pointed. I love the smug caption he gave it to. Like, let's see how you try to spin this one. Yeah.

What? Also, shout out to the intern that edited that and, like, cap cut. Yeah. Chose the fun fonts. He sounds like that all yeah he chose the fun fonts he sounds like that all the time yeah that's i heard that guy talk yeah that's why he can't be present yeah that's why yeah fuck and he's married to cheryl hines oh yeah that's right correct yeah i don't know who that is you do is she uh lar... Larry David's wife and curb. Oh. Good for him.

Yeah. He also wasn't young when this happened. He was 60. Oh. Yeah. He said 2014, right? Oh, he was 60? He was 60 years old. Oh, I thought that was years ago.

No. Mike Rainey, Philly comedian, he had a great tweet. Realizing RFK's throat condition is probably just his voice trying to slam the brakes on whatever story he's about to tell. He's got some tough ones. Rainey's a funny dude he's the man yeah he's got a new book out by he did he had the perks book yeah on perks okay great book i gotta read both of them then yeah i think the new one is delco dirtball yeah thanks yeah i'm in the middle of sam talent's book right now and it's incredible awesome awesome i bet yeah he's a funny dude yeah good writer and smart that made me like rfk yeah that's cool i think as crazy as it is that's a pretty believable story yes yeah but i do think

he probably just ran over the bear and he was probably drinking yeah he was driving and drunk yes I don't think he saw the bear get hit at all I don't think unless he did I think he did it how big is the bear cub

that's too that he said I thought it would be amusing for the people who found it for the people who found a dead baby bear Horrified Throw their head back and laugh They made it look like a bike ran over the bear I'm shocked like the homeless people in Central Park Didn't like eat the bear Yeah

Some homeless guy like claimed that bear One of the most dangerous animals to eat they are filled with parasites really yeah yeah it has to be like cooked well well well done yeah he mentioned like refrigerating the meat yeah you can't i don't know if you're harvesting the meat while it was like rotting we ate bear in alaska and afterwards they were like yeah we really had to pull out a ton of parasites. We ate roadkill bear. Did you see 2 Poppy? No. 2 Poppy clip. He

went fishing in Arizona State in one of their ponds, caught a fish and then ate it. Apparently the pond was the most infested water on earth. 2 Poppy is our favorite podcast. It's these Arizona State students that just TJ, you know about 2 Poppy. You gotta pull up Tupopi

oh it is it's the best podcast ever I want to sign these guys to a mega deal we're about to sign them it's Tupopi on Instagram TJ the number two T-U P-A-P-I and there are these Arizona State students

that just talk about parties is it kind of like the Brad and Chad And there are these Arizona State students that just talk about parties. Is it kind of like the Brad and Chad vibe? Yes, but they're being dead serious. Okay. Ah, that's crazy. Oh, I have seen them talk about parties on TikTok. Yeah.

Any of these clips will do. And it's 100% unironic. They're like just, okay. One of the parties last year? I think so. Yeah, they've had hella rappers. They've had like... Well, like I said, like James Hype and Ellie. They had Soulja Boy.

Like, yeah. No, they go crazy. I can only imagine how much they spend on like a rapper like that. Unreal. I wonder how... Dude, rappers probably make like 50K, right? At least. Yeah. No, like... I wonder how Dude these rappers Probably make like 50k right At least Yeah No like

I mean Smaller artists That come out to ASU Like parties Like DJs and stuff They get paid like That little pop was adorable

That's like small DJs But for Like big name rappers Probably like 100 150k Wasn't Enna Lee At one of the parties

That's it That's it Good shit Hell yeah I don't know if you heard of the Hak Tua, girl. Yeah. Hak Tua. Spit on that thing.

Bro, that blew out out of proportion. Like, I low-key think it got too big. You got a Hak Tua-y spit on that thing, girl. You think? Yeah. I don't even know if I've seen the clip, but good for her, I guess. I don't know. No, like, it's everywhere even at like old

town you'll hear hawk tour remixes really yeah bro i i think it's horrible it's it's bad it's crazy but one of them went fishing and ate a really bad yeah i can't there's some really good should we play the gatorade clip or no No, you guys got the gist. What's up, Brandon? Hey, man. Where were you? I was doing something. Wrestling?

Yeah. You're wearing a shirt. Oh, what? I was interviewing a wrestler. Who? You'll see soon. You'll see very soon. Live?

In person, I mean? No, it's on Zoom. Male or female? That works. Male. Roman Reigns? No. No.

Close. Close? Close, yeah. Jey Uso? No. female? That works. Male. Roman Reigns? No. Close. Close? Jey Uso? No. Dom? Also no. Jacob Fatu? Still no. Still no. Third no. The Rock? A fourth no. The Big Show? A long line of no's.

It seems like it went well. It did. I felt good. Got a little pep in the step. I got a little pep in the step. Does this mean it's officially back? It will be back when it comes back. Okay. That's awesome. We're banking some interviews right now. That's great.

Yeah, yeah. For when you go on break. I don't think you really thought it was great, Mark. What are you talking about? You really thought it was great? That's awesome. That's great. Everybody should have a passion project. The stenographer typed up, that's awesome.

That's great. That's what the quote attributed to me. I don't understand. Why, Brandon, we had a meeting for the summer games today. Yeah. You're not allowed to say Olympics. up that's awesome that's great that's the quote attributed to me i don't understand why brandon we had a meeting for the summer games today yeah you're not allowed to say olympics uh-huh uh you chickened out of pickleball is what they said and you were confident i thought yeah you were the cat you were the okay the one play let's talk through this yeah i want to play pickleball that's what i want to do i felt felt like if I, being the worst athlete,

the oldest athlete on the team, played pickleball and we lost, it would be bad for the team. So Smokes and Rudy were both confident they could do pickleball. So I said, well, why not let them do it? Even though Smokes is confident about every single thing ever.

I love you. This is what enrages me to no end about a lot of people here. Yeah. People aren't watching to see good pickleball. Well, then I want to play pickleball. Right. You should play pickleball.

You guys are always talking. They want to see an oaf with a racket. Oafing around. Okay, well, I want to play pickleball. Play pickleball, please. You're in, yeah. Oh, I lost the dozen people. No, be goofy.

Be fun. I disagree with you. Oh. Oh. In our group chat, when I was assigning sports, and I originally said it was going to be me and Kyle, I remember us running the court in Arizona, and you said you're not good at pickleball.

That was when everyone was playing for the first time. I played again in Oregon, and I'm trash. I think you're a tennis elitist now. I am. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm going to text the group. I want you to play pickleball.

I'm going to play pickleball. I want you to play pickleball. I'm going to play pickleball. I want you to have fun. You should do sumo, too. I don't want to do that. That's too physical. That's your game. No, it's not. Sumo is all size.

I don't want to do. I'm going to play pickleball, though. Y'all are right. You eat like a sumo wrestler. Do you know how they eat? A lot of calories? 10,000 a day. I don't eat that many.

I don't eat that many. I'm probably like. 10,000? i'm probably like 330 calories a day only 80 rb's potato cakes do you know what else they do well they just do steroids obviously so what sumo guys do they inject their body yes they inject their bodies with insulin to transfer sugar to fat. Oh, interesting. They train in stables. Smoke said, I said, I'm going to play pickleball. Smoke said, lame as fuck. So what is it? Is it lame as fuck or is it cool as fuck?

I want you to have fun. I'm going to play. You got to get out there. I'm playing. What are some of the most severe athlete diets? The Phelps, swimming, wrestling on the flip side. We should all be assigned an athlete diet for a day. Oh, give me a...

Randomly. Jockey? Lumberjack games? The Rock on a cheat day? DK Metcalf. What's his? It's probably like two work... Doesn't eat until like 4.30.

Two workouts. Then like two bags of candy. He's lying, right? Dwight Howard is a candy guy too i know guys ocho sinka was just mcdonald's yeah a lot of that's just a lot of genetics though if you're ripped like that athlete diets swimmers have to eat a lot right they have to eat a whole lot yeah to maintain was phelps at 10 000 a day i think he was above 10 i think lineman offensive lineman yeah and they're they're kind of miserable that's kind of yeah you know those guys as soon

as they retire as soon as they retire they just suck right up they huh they just suck right up yeah i guess suck up right they suck right up suck right all that belly goes away they just just suck right up i got exactly what you were saying. Every former offensive lineman just sucks as soon as he retires. Taylor, Luan. That boy got skinny. His waist is smashed. They're really skinny. It's impressive.

Just sucks right up. I'd like to get sucked right up. Yeah? Yeah. Why don't you ask? No, I mean, I'm big. i'd like to what what do you what do you want to do about it i've been walking man 40 minutes 40 minutes a day you should get a waist trainer what's that do one of those little that makes gives you like an hourglass figure all the

cords yeah you should get a corset that's like spanks for that's like serious spanks serious for like a renaissance woman yeah a victanx? Serious. For like a Renaissance woman. Yeah. A Victorian lady. Have you ever had like a serious thought session about Ozempic? No. That's good. I don't. Don't do it. Don't do it, Brandon.

I'm to the point where any. You can't do it. Even like Ozempic or testosterone therapy, I'm to the point where either I think would probably stop my heart. Like any, you talk about about i'm already going so far and so much punishment to my body enter entering anything else into the equation i feel like my heart's just gonna say that's i'm out wait what else are you doing besides walking well eating i think his lifestyle i'm walking and i do the light box i do boxing exercises it sounds like

you considered testosterone which which I get. Considered? Okay, I did ask Dr. Ned Miller about it. Okay. I said, Dr. Ned Miller, what do you think? He said, just work out, idiot. And that was it. What would testosterone do?

This dumb question. It would pick up my testosterone level. People's reviews just make it seem so good. Oh, yeah. Who was the comedian we had? Kreischer. Kreischer. He's like, just make it seem so good. Oh yeah, who was the comedian we had? Kreischer. Kreischer.

He's like, oh, it's the best. Everyone says it's like a second puberty. Okay. It's the best feeling in the world.

I don't want another puberty. Yeah. I'm the opposite. I'm ready to do something drastic like testosterone. Yeah. I would consider it.

Yeah. How are you? Second puberty? Fuck yeah, dude. Sign me up. I don't want to inject anything in me. I'm it. Yeah. Let's do it. Second puberty? Fuck yeah, dude. Sign me up. I don't want to inject anything in me. I'm afraid.

Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Zympic, people trusted just right out the gate, right? Well, it's weight loss. Yeah. That's something you do.

Just don't ask questions about. I think you could ask questions. Weight loss is hard. It is hard it is hard but if something is like foolproof and just works and just this this person's doing it and bam lost 30 pounds something something's bad around the corner for somebody do you think that there will be some sort of study that's like oh fuck this is bad yeah this turns and it gives you a rabbit penis or something that's fine rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit or rabbit i That's fine. Rabbit penis. Rabbit penis. Rabbit.

Rabbit or rabbit? I said rabbit. I don't know. A rabbit penis would be bad. My penis has rabies. There's no more chunky people in Hollywood. We have to put it down. I have to put down my penis. Yeah, who's top chunk in Hollywood right now?

I think Jack Black. Right, but there's no... Kevin James still... Yeah, but there's no women. There's no up-and-comers. Lizzo's not in Hollywood. Melissa McCarthy? No, she's so zippy.

She lost a ton of weight. Not Seth, the other one. Seth Rogen? Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill, thank you. Is he fat right now or no? He's not fat right now. He's not fat.

He's canceled too. He doesn't look good skinny. He looks better fat. No, he he's canceled too he doesn't he doesn't look good skinny yeah no he looks better fat it's so he looks way better like it's almost like a it's like phantom fat you look at him and if it was somebody's first time looking at him you're like that guy used to be fat yeah yeah but to the point it's not like when he was fat you're like that's a that's a handsome no but if you look at fat jonah hill and skinny jonah hill fat jonah hill looks better i think it does i think he looks better.

I think Fat Jonah Hill is the natural order. No, dude. He was huge. I get what you mean. He does look malnourished in his skinny pictures. I like him better fat. Fat Jonah Hill was better. He was funnier. Fat Kevin James was better. Yeah, but not more attractive. I'm just saying

better. I don't think Kevin James was ever that fat. He was Hollywood fat. Yeah, look at't think Kevin James was ever that fat. He was Hollywood fat. Yeah, look at him. Kevin James was Portland. He does not look better on the left. He absolutely looks better on the left. I think he does. That was different.

But the first one? Are you crazy? Rosie O'Donnell there. Rationalization. You're crazy. Look at thatonnell there. Rationalization. You're crazy. Look at that. To the right. That one right there.

Yep. He looks better on the right. He looks better. No, he does not. He does not. He looks terrible on the right. He looks like he's about to die on the left. I'm with you, Brandon.

Go back to that one. He looks better on the left. That looks terrible. That's just him skinny twice. Yeah. I'm not saying he looks great. Look at the fat Jonah Hill looks fucking awful. Yes.

He looks cool. Oh, fat Jonah Hill was better than skinny Jonah Hill. He was 500 fucking pounds. Look looks great. Look at the fat Jonah Hill looks fucking awful. Yes. He looks cool. Oh, fat Jonah Hill was better than skinny Jonah Hill. He was 500 fucking pounds. Look at that. Look at that. Look at skinny Jonah Hill. He's ugly as hell. Dude, he looks way better on the right.

Oh, there he's leaned up. Way better on the left. His tie's loosened as a fat guy. He's a goofball on the left. I like bigger guys, and I don't like super big Jonah. He's- That is a crazy thought. That's crazy that you think.

The very first picture he showed. Go back to the very first picture. The fat picture was better. The left. He's better on the left. The guy on the right looks like a pud. That's terrible. The second picture over, I like bigger Jonah Hill in the glasses.

Yeah, he looks. I see the third. Yeah, I like that. Hey, he looks. That's a panoramic lens. I even like hill in the glasses yeah he looks oh i see the third yeah i like that hey he looks that's a panoramic lens i even like him in the blue shirt i don't know if he was ever that bad is that he looks so much better on the right no he doesn't look good on the right either i like a guy with a face we're not saying he looks good on the right we're saying the left is like a comic book creature i like fat jon Jonah Hill. Do Rebel Wilson. Didn't she get real?

She got super skinny. Can we do this with women? Both of them will be beautiful. We just have to argue which one's the best. I think Jonah Hill's really sensitive to his weight situation. Is he still getting rolls? Is he still getting work? No, he lost them.

Oh, then fuck him. No, I think he'll wait. Yeah. Oh, he's canceled. Oh, he's canceled? What are you going to do? No, I think he came back. So they're not canceled.

He asked his surfer girlfriend to not post bikini pics. That seemed fine. Oh, that's right. That's right. Oh, he's canceled? No, I think he came back. He asked his surfer girlfriend to not post bikini pics. That seemed fine. Oh, that's right. That's right. What? Didn't that seem fine? No, Brandon. I remember that.

It's not. I don't think it's fine, but it's not canceled. It's not. It's not like, oh, my God. The guy's allowed to have reference. It was like a weird, weird stuff, and he was flipping it off. He's dating somebody. He's like, hey, I prefer you to do that.

We're allowed to ask. She's a swimming instructor. She was flipping it off. If he's dating somebody, he's like, hey, I prefer you didn't do that. We're allowed to ask. She was a surfing instructor. You're allowed to ask your significant other to say, hey, dial it back. Why not? Why are you not allowed to do that? You let them be them and if you don't like it, go somebody else. That's what he did. That's a fat guy insecurity.

That's not a fat guy insecurity. That's a rich guy. That's a fat guy insecurity. Pat keeps asking me to wear more clothes, which is weird. Can you put this sack over here? All right. Well, that was a passionate debate. Who knew?

Fuck good. Can we tier Fat Jonah Hill versus Skinny Jonah Hill? That's two tiers. Let's just get that graph. I think it just did. That's two tiers. Let's just get that graph. Yeah. Who was here? I think it's important. It's Swerve Strickland. Oh, cool.

It's AEW World Champion. Yeah. Swerve Strickland? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's good. Yeah. It's a good name. Yeah, it's a world champ, AEW.

Oh, yeah. That's awesome. How was he? Good. Good. Not as funny as me, but. It's great. Were you funnier?

I was, yeah. What wrestlers have outclassed you on the he? Good. Good. Not as funny as me. Were you funnier? I was all right, yeah. What wrestlers have outclassed you on the mic? Just MJF. Yeah? Yeah. Maybe Punk. Oh, yeah. Punk got close.

But MJF got me a couple. But I got him. I got some blows in, too. But the rest of them can't really hang with me. They can't hang with you on the mic? No. This is your battlefield. Can't touch me.

You should teach them. I've tried. Yeah? It doesn't work. What's going on out here? Out here? Yeah, with you guys. I missed a good 20 minutes,

so everything you talk about... Oh, you didn't miss a good 20 minutes. You missed 20 minutes. You missed 20. But speaking of your dumb ass, I went to Twin Anchors last night. Oh, yeah. Shit's on Hobnob. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Shit's on it. Hold on. I bring a restaurant. Oh, you're perched. You're perched. I am perched. You're perched. I go to a restaurant.

I take my wife. I have a wonderful, perfect meal. How come that can't just be a standalone Brandon-enjoyed-himself meal and tells the people, go to Hobnob. It was until you said it's better than Twin Anchors. I didn't. I did not say that. Well, Nick was trying to share his story. But I was first, and he came across with Twin Anchors

and compared the two. I would never compare them. I played a trump card. Right. Why did you play a trump card? Because I had it in my hand. Twin Anchors clears. You've never been to Hobnob.

What did you have at Twin Anchors? I had a half rack of ribs. That sounds awful. Six chicken wings. Terrible. And some onion rings. And my God. That's very unhealthy.

Terribly, terribly unhealthy. But all the fixins. What fixins? I had some coleslaw on the side, some beans on the side. I don't think those are fixins. Those are sides. Fixins, what do fixins have to be? Fixins go on food, not beside them, right?

I don't know. This is your turf, dude. Yeah, this is what you think. Well, I had it too, and I know the press is going to misconstrue this, but I liked it. You didn't get the ribs. Yeah, you fucked up your order. I got the mini pork sliders. Those don't travel well.

No. Here's the deal. Here's my barbecue opinion. Barbecue is good as a flavor. Barbecue is good, but flavor. Barbecue is good but it will never be great. That's wrong. Barbecue meaning what?

As a flavor. Barbecue sauce. The genre of food or the sauce? When you say barbecue, what are you... Not the genre of food. The sauce. The flavor. Okay. You know, Kyle, I'm a big fan of you. Here's the deal. I think it's good. But me's the deal i i think it's good but me personally i'll never think it's great doesn't touch great and it's overpowering i don't

like i don't like a lot of sauce it's as subtle as a hurricane so when i get this the sliders to me it's it's load it's saturated with. To me, it was more of an experience of drinking barbecue sauce and chewing on nothing in particular. Get the ribs. The sauce comes out the side and you brush it off. I didn't taste the pork, even the bread. It was all barbecue sauce. You went off script. It was like a choir of Ariana Grande and two unmiked church mice.

It was just the barbecue, which is good but not great. You had to go your own different way when we told you the order to go with. I know. And you also got an Uber Eats. I keep thinking I'm going to love barbecue sauce, but I only just like it. But you only introduced your own way in this restaurant as a trump card to my own way which was just announcing a restaurant that i liked you reminded me of a restaurant i liked by saying i like a restaurant yes fair enough uh take us to hobnob take me to twin anchors deal

done say when i did have the pint of beans how was it it was good it's too many beans you think so a pint of beans it was it was about a pint right yeah that's a lot of beans i'm going back tonight are you i think i'm going ribs the next four days is this your new meatball yeah no it was so good and i felt good after it didn't feel oh that's that's not a good sign at all you want to feel awful after barbecue yeah i felt amazing i watched uh i binged the entire season of presumed innocent last night nice whole thing episodes, five and a half hours. You do that somehow. Yeah. Yeah. If I get hooked on a show, I can't go to bed.

Great show. Great show. Recommend it. Yeah. It was a perfect Monday. What? Nicky Smokes is whining. He's what?

That you're playing pickleball? He's whining that I took his pickleball spot. You're the team captain. He said, trade me if I'm going to ride the bench the whole time. What other sport is he doing? Mark, who's on your team? Who's your worst guy? Is it you? I don't want to be on your team, though.

That's true. Who is your team? I have Megan, Eddie, Tate, Chief, and Riggs. Who do you want? They're all your worst guy. Yeah, who do you want? Smokes, why are you whining? He didn't know the rules of pickleball this morning.

Right. He's not very bright. Oh, he's never played? No. Then I might be the best option. I think you are. Me and you were good in Arizona. We ran the court for like a day.

Didn't we win like five in a row? Oh, look, he's bitching to Jeff. He's complaining. Yeah. for like a day. Didn't we win like five in a row? Oh, look, he's bitching to Jeff. He's complaining. Brandon, can you stay out of the kitchen when you play pickleball? Jeff, Jeff, I'm going to play pickleball. Thanks, Jeff. Love that guy.

Fucking love Jeff. I'm not. Why does Smoke's mustache, he looks like an inspector of some sort. You think so? Yeah, he looks French. Smoke's faking an injury right now? Probably.

Yes, he said he hurt his groin because he wants to get traded. Oh, look, this is a big, you caused quite the scene, Brad. Oh, fucking Pete's here. Mm-hmm. Is that a new flannel? Is that a new pad? I think that's your standard American Eagle flannel that he just always wears. Was it his groin or his hamstring?

I think we should take this really serious. I think we should too. Sweep it? Anybody ever hurt their groin? I've never hurt my groin in my life. I don't know what that pain feels like. It sucks. I remember in 5th grade we had a fun run. Do you have their groin? I've never hurt my groin in my life. Oh, yeah. I don't know what that pain feels like. It sucks. Never goes away.

I remember fifth grade, we had a fun run. Do you have a groin? Do girls have groins? All I know is I leaped over a cone at full speed. Doink. That's your vagina. Yeah. I didn't know.

You could bruise that, and you can. And it really... Well, I'm talking... You're talking about the groin, right? I'm just going to go in and ask it. I thought you the groin. I'm just going to go in and ask you. I thought you said vulva. I'm just going to go in and ask it. What does groin refer to?

Isn't it the crease? Is it the creases? Yeah. It's where the. The muscles in the creases? The socket. It's where your leg connects. Yeah.

That's exactly what I'm saying. So right in the. It's where the two V's. The two lines are in the V. Yes. Right where it meets the old cum gutters. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The way the old cum gutters. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. The way suck it took over middle school. Yeah. Took over America. Yeah. But I would imagine middle school was something. Yeah. Back in Attitude Era where Austin's flipping the bird and DX is doing suck it.

My God. That had to be the dominant factor in middle school. And all the kids wore, hello, my name is this. And they would write Slim Shady on the... Oh, yeah, I remember that. He said lyingly. Oh, in my middle school, all the kids. Oh, yeah, what a trend.

The name is Slim Shady. That was on all the shirts. Big white shirts. No? I remember, Kate. I'm on your side. You'd write the name of your street. You'd get it airbrushed on your...

Scared to admit it. You know who's bringing Suck It back? Every time I see Stephen Che. He does it a lot. He gets me a big-ass fly. That's the biggest fly I've ever seen. I'm gonna catch it in his hat. He gets me every day with a Suck It. Every single day, Stephen Che brings it back. Dude, Che's on

his bad boy shit. Che got yelled at during the Olympics, summer games rules. Yeah. He was chatty. Was he asking questions? No, he was talking during rules, and that's why I think he has questions. He asked- You were talking to me.

Yeah, so. He asked when we could booze. Yeah, you wanted to drink. Wait, really? High Noon is a sponsor. I asked if we can drink High Noon in the cave. Any excuse. Nick, what did you tell him to say that he refused to say to Jeff D'Lo?

So after he got yelled at for talking during the rules, I asked Steve to raise his hand and ask what Jeff just explained to see what would happen. And he wouldn't do it. It would have been so awesome, Che. I could tell they were not enjoying my company. No, no, no. How often does that happen, Che?

You can tell somebody's not enjoying your company? Are you acutely in tune with that? Pretty frequently. Okay. I know when to lay back. I could use a little Chris Tucker. I could use a little Chris Tucker You could use a little Chris Tucker? I don't want to go too overboard with it

because I do want to sprinkle it in at times Can you sprinkle it in during the games? Potentially If there's a moment, I'm not going to force it but if there's a moment I'll bust it out But the issue is you can't do it subtly I like the idea of you doing it so often that people are longing for the old Chris Tucker impression. Please stop.

Please stop. This is not the same, dude. I miss the... It was so much better back in the day. He sold out. He sold out the Chris Tucker impression. What do we got on the prep sheet? I don't know.

What stadium would you want to name? All right. Pitbull bought the stadium naming rights, and now there's going to be a Pitbull stadium. How much money does Pitbull have? How much money does Pitbull have? $1.2 million a year, which is cheaper than I would have thought. Yeah, what stadium?

FIU. Oh. Nah. Yeah, I wouldn't want a FIU stadium. Florida International University. Where is it, Kyle? It's in Miami. No, it's not, right?

Yes. It's in Fort Miami. I think it's in one of the forts, isn't it? No. In big letters outside, it's going to say Pitbull Stadium. Where did all the Miami people go? They also got a Miami. All the poor Miami people.

Did Smokes go to FIU for a little bit? I think he did. I think he touched them all. Yeah. And by that, that's tough. That's like one of Kyle's niches. It is. Well, I know. But you still tried. That's why I asked him.

But you still assumed I was wrong. I got him confused with Florida Atlantic. They're in Fort Lauderdale, right? Boca Raton. Boca Raton. I've been there. My uncle owned a golf course. We've been to Boca.

In 1990. I have not. You have. Where'd I go? Boca Raton's ritzy, right? It's like all the... Well, we were in the shitty part of Boca Raton. My uncle Charles owned a golf course down there.

Owned a golf course? Yeah. Yeah. And then my uncle Doug worked there. At the golf course. At the golf course. He's still been chatting doug worked there at the golf course at the golf course he's still been chatting oh yeah what's new with him no i don't know i i just told big cat i said listen i know eventually you'll bring uncle doug back for something just don't involve me just have me show up one day and he's sitting there he recorded a podcast with danny conrad i

knew that yeah um do you think that experience him coming in like rewired his interests and i don't know if it rewired his interest i do think he got a little taste of right being on camera it feels good yeah it feel it feels good he liked that he liked as soon as he got up his his his niece and nephew called him oh my god i saw you he liked that feeling right and it's like everybody in my family or my circle of friends in Mississippi never want to go to New York and they never want to go to Chicago.

Those places are terrible. You're going to get shot if you go there. And the second they come up, they're like, oh my God, I didn't know it was like this. This is amazing. I wonder why they think that though. I think they're just conditioned.

Yeah, yeah. The stats are there. They're just not where people are. Tourists. Yeah. Yeah. I've been trying to get my Uncle Donnie to come up, but he won't come up. Is he more?

Yeah, he's big on the Trump train. I'd love to get him up here. Yeah. You're not going to do it. That ain't happening. He's not leaving the road. Not even's not leaving he's not leaving the road not even the town he's not leaving the road what if i promise i'll vote for donald trump if he comes up here i think we'd probably have to get the whole company like we'd have to get the entire company yeah to sign up and then maybe the man didn't know

what politics were until donald trump was a guy i never i never saw him watch anything that wasn't like the local sports report on wcbi and then all of a sudden he's just talking to me about immigration like dude you don't go past tibby creek dude that happened to so many so many people so many some of my dumbest friends got hooked into either side right yeah couldn't stop i think it was a COVID thing. I think so too. People were just so bored. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, he's never gone past Tibby Creek?

I'm sure he has. Okay. I remember one time my Uncle Donnie, I had to watch his house because he and the family were going to Destin, Florida. Yeah. I have a Build-A-Bear named Destin.

They left on Sunday morning and I went down there Sunday afternoon to watch his house and about seven o'clock I heard the gravel of the driveway. I looked out there and here he came. He said I didn't like it down there. No way. It's a 5 hour drive there and a 5 hour drive back.

And he was back in 12 hours. Said I didn't like it. I don't like it anywhere else. I just like it here. Alright. Which I do love it in Mississippi but I like to go places too i'm gonna get my passport no way yeah i'm taking your wife to italy my wife just and she deserves to go somewhere she likes to be a world traveler and and i don't i've never been anywhere so so

we're gonna go somewhere now italy australia stuff like australia that's where i've always wanted to go you you yeah You don't like the sun. God damn. Yeah, but it's the other side of the sun, right? Yeah, it's the coolest side. The dark side. Yeah, Italy is a good one. Spain.

I'd like to go to Spain. Oh, the sunniest. But what would you do about your food? In Italy? Like Spain. Oh, Spain. Paella is delicious. You're fine with paella? I love some paella. Godain paella is delicious i love some paella goddamn paella is good okay

would you be afraid that you wouldn't have your um no i'd be fine i can adapt to food on the road okay every every other country has good cuisine i love that being a legitimate concern england brandon's gonna find his diet in a foreign country. It's like medication he has to take. Yeah. They'll pull Chick-fil-A sandwiches out of his bag. He needs a quarter bean. He's struggling with the child lock. But every place worth going has good food. London. Germany.

Oh, Germany's got wonderful food. Great. Stick to your ribs food. What? You go to a German restaurant all the time. I go to Mater Great. Stick to your ribs food. What? You go to an urban restaurant all the time. I go to Mater's. I've taken you there.

Great. Wonderful. Some sauerkraut. Tell me you don't love kraut. Sauerkraut. I love it. I love sauerkraut. Stinks up the house.

It's one of my favorites. You would be a good German. Did you guys eat sauerkraut for good luck on New Year's Day? On New Year's Day, yeah. We had black-eyed peas. Oh, for good luck? Mm-hmm. Okay. Black-eyed peas for New Year's Day. But there is a good luck food in every culture on New Year's day we had black eyed peas oh for good luck okay black eyed peas for new year's

day but there is a good luck food in every culture on new year's day i guess i always thought it was just a southern thing with the black eyed peas let's get you guys eat we were sauerkraut yeah i love sauerkraut but i i never i never knew it was you guys didn't have a good luck food new year's day i don't think so no y'all didn't we just knew it was gonna be bad wake up on new year's day and it would smell like black it's a weird smell the black sauerkraut has a weird smell too yeah it would stink up the whole house i love it the mummers yeah new year's day i love sauerkraut never been a new year's guy family was never new year's people i think uh it's a product of hype i've never had fun on a new year's it's always just crowded yeah yep and loud yeah you

always buy a ticket for like an all-inclusive like food drink deal and it's always just crowded yeah yep and loud yeah you always buy a ticket for like an all-inclusive like food drink deal and it's just packed with the worst people on earth yeah i think i only did a new year's eve party like twice i never was i never even was attracted to that my friend group pivoted to house parties yeah way more fun way more fun for a while me and my brother and some of our friends would go to fogo to chow before we went out every year and then kicking off the new year with a little diarrhea a lot of diarrhea hold on i love that place fucking love that love it's amazing what is god damn it i love go to chow you get a coaster it's the red green coaster so whenever you they just walk around with all kinds of different meats all these different waiters and whenever you want more meats you flip

your coaster to green they see it and all the meat people come over and just start shaving off different meats and then when you're like enough meat you flip it to red and then when you're ready for more you flip it it's unbelievable super good good salad bar great salad bar you reminded me because i told my wife she's never had i said i'm gonna take you to it one soon it's good there's one in the suburbs so i'm gonna you get the meat sweats for sure it's one of those meals that... You just dig in for about two hours and just don't even worry

about anything else. Just go. Then go home and shit your pants. You can. If that's what you so choose to do. You're real close to a KFC from your house. You can see it right across.

Yeah. Am I doxing you? Oh, no. No. Yeah, you can see it right across. I mean, it's in... People know I live in Antioch and there's a KFC. Do you smell it when the breeze is right no i'm not that close i'm not that close is it

still open or did a troll farm try to take it down still going okay somehow all right that's crazy yeah sure is yeah so what kfc is being attacked by by apparently all apparently all allegedly i don't know but he says alex bennett hired a troll farm to go after him a troll farm put on her their story that she owed money yeah wait so a troll farm is a service that's not robotic. You pay people to create a bunch of accounts. I don't know. To spam somebody with hate.

I have no idea. I can't believe that business exists. I can. I can't. You might have been a victim to it. I probably have been, but people dedicate themselves to doing that. I can believe it. People love trolling.

Yeah, I absolutely believe that. I think that's exactly what many people I know would do. That checks out with my experience on the internet, that people would do that. I think it's bots. I think it probably is bots. Like view bots. View bots are a thing, yeah. Do you just program what the bots say or do?

I don't know, man. I think they understand basic, like, gists of harassment. Like, respond negatively, command. I've gotten to the point where I assume everybody on the internet is a bot. Anybody who's mean to me is fake. It seems like a lot of people are.

Be nice. Anything else. There's a part of me that believes that every time I'm on Twitter I'm the only person that's like a real life human being on the app.

It's like the Truman Show but with bots. Yeah. Why am I engaging with any of this because I'm just arguing with fucking fake accounts. Yeah. I think that's what it is.

Just step away from it, yeah. I have to stop myself sometimes. I almost started arguing with a, it was like a Ronald McDonald avatar with 20,000 numbers the other day. And I was like, I'm a good mom. Wait a minute. Come on.

Yeah. I've argued with those accounts before. I had a dude last week tell me to kill myself because I was telling people I liked Q-tipping my ears. He's like, that's so fucking dangerous. It's not meant for your ears. And he told me to kill myself. I do that too.

It's not meant for your ears. Q-tips aren't built for... They say explicitly don't put them in your ears. But that's... To my knowledge, that's exactly what they were built for. They're just swabs, man. Built for crafts. Really?

I don't know. Okay. Taking off nail... I don't know. What else could you... What else could you use a Q-tip for? God, I love Q-tipping. Fuck that guy.

Yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah, fuck that guy. So KFC put out that statement. Yeah. He said it on the podcast. Okay. That Alex Bennett allegedly hired a troll farm, owed the troll farm money. So somebody at Barstow in New York reached out to the troll farm saying,

who did she hire? Like, who did she put the hit on? And they were assuming it would be Kelly. Yeah. And they said KFC because there might be some resentment for, like, KFC doing the OnlyFans Olympics that they didn't show up for. I'm going to opt out. I'm going to opt out.

I just hope Fugman's okay. Oh, my God. Oh, Fugman's fine. Fugman's fine. And always will be. Yeah. We're not taking a stance on this based on our relationship with Fugman, right? God, no.

We should have let off with that. Yeah. We don't want to see him get caught in the fire. fire oh he's not going to he's above it yeah allegedly all alleged yeah it's all alleged and who's the troll farm i don't know tj do you know the info i don't wasn't it was like an actual person who posted in the like there's like an influencer snark reddit who was, who wants some tea? Because the mean girls owe me two grand or something like that.

I'm getting this wrong. Two grand? I'm getting this wrong just like I got the RFK Bear story wrong. So, whatever. Something like that. I watched KFC. I watched the clip this morning and that's what I gleaned from it. Do we have any enemies? As a collective? Should we? I have a ton of ops. No, not individually. from it. Do we have any enemies as a collective? Should we hire a toll to attack another?

I have a ton of ops. No, not individually. As a collective. As a collective, does the Yak have enemies? I don't guess we do. Yeah, surely. A lovable group of people. Is this the Stefano? I think that's past. I can't think of anyone.

Two grand. Two grand. Two grand. Wait, shouldn't that person be embarrassed about what they do for a living? I think it was more than two grand, though. They said paid two grand up front, and there was two grand on the back end, and it never came. That's allegedly. Four grand?

Four grand. That took me that long to do the math. The shit on KFC online. How many people are doing it for free? KFC is the last person. I feel like he always stuck up for it. Yeah, he can handle that. You wouldn't give a shit.

I don't know how he differentiates from the real one. It's one of the most grizzled. They go into it in more detail. Listen to that. It's wild. Feidelberg deserves to be taken down a notch. I might fork out somebody to attack Feidelberg deserves to be taken down a notch. I might fork out somebody to attack Feidelberg.

I think Shoe Nice is an enemy of the Yak the chat's pointing out. Oh, he doesn't like us now? No, we don't like him. Oh, okay. And then he also doesn't like us, I guess. He got banned from our chat like ten times. Well, if we're talking about chat enemies, I mean. Yeah. He like demanded to come on the show and then got racist in the chat, so we had

to banish him We're all white That's true That probably gives them more of an incentive You know that doesn't really matter though Because you can say bad things about Iowa's football team And they'll still call you a racist That's what happened to me

They're all white They're the most racist fan base I know They are by far I said I can't believe we lost to the slowest whitest team in America And they tried to get me fired You're the most racist fan base I know. They are by far. I said, I can't believe we lost to the slowest, whitest team in America, and they tried to get me fired from being a racist. Oh, that type of – They tried to get you fired. You're a black racist.

Oh, wait. Yeah, you hate Iowa, and they hate you. Yeah. Do they hate you more than Ole Miss hate you? I think they do. Holy shit. There's some Ole Miss hatred out there, but a lot of them will be like – they'll DM me and say, hey, man, I actually like you,

and I can't believe we have that fucking idiot Mincy. and you're still repping mississippi well uh very well yeah love mississippi as well as i can do they say that about sometimes uh go ahead buddy i was just yeah you got it you kind of kind of boy kind of what i feel like you go back to this one on the other a lot jay what is your favorite what is your favorite kind of soup i feel like that's just a standby for you hot thought about soup why noodle soup french onion soup broccoli cheddar no we we know soups lobster bisque oh Oh, wow. He said it with authority. My favorite. Che, can you say like raw ham in the Chris Tucker accent? I bet.

Yeah. It's pretty close. It's like goddamn. Yeah. Raw ham. What? What was that? I don't work. Was that Mighty Mouse?

It's not good. Wait, why can't you do it? Say goddamn. Oh, because it sounds like that? Yes. Oh. Yeah. Do a goddamn first to get in character.

No, do a raw ham. Okay. Without thinking. Just do it. Ah, damn. No, no. Rah, damn. No.

No, gross. No, dude. You can't put me on the spot with you. Sorry. Apologies. Can't put you on the spot. It's two words at a high pitch. He's lost it.

I missed the old Shay, man. He was so fucking good at this. Yeah, he sold out. He was so good at it. Sell out. Make the graphic. Just stay on top forever, I guess. Has Che fell off?

Yeah. A cliff. Big time. All right, what else we got? TJ, can you do that Google Trend thing for Stephen Che? Ooh. What Google Trend? It's like the interest of him online.

I want to see what his peak was. It's now, I think. It might be now. What a tool. I don't know if this existed. Oh. Back to... What was...

What happened? What was that, Che? December 2006? Were you even here? What was? Oh, big T. Whoa. What happened? What was that, Che? Uh-oh. December 2006? Uh-oh. Were you even here? What happened? What were you doing then, Steve? What?

Che. 82 people searched for you. That's when he pooped the dick out of his butt. That has to be it. What's that day right there? April 1st, 2022? Is that Giovanni Bernard Day? No.

What was everyone mad at you for? Galen Hurts. That was here. That was in season. This is fascinating. Isn't it? Interesting. That's NFL draft time? Yeah, I don't think that's going to be your pick.

Does the number mean actual Google searches? Or is it just level of interest? There's no way only 100 people were. That's your season, April 25th to May 1st. Oh, here we go. Is now mine going beside him? Yeah, you're comparing. Oh.

Wait, there was one day where Che passed you. Yeah. That is the Che day. Che day is April 25th. Wow. That pisses you off. No, I think I'm dominating right there. But that little...

That one day, I can't get mad about one day. I'm sure you had a great day. And I don't think he was NFL draft related. Wait, he beat you by one. You think it was NFL draft related? That is the NFL draft time frame. I know.

Let's see. What's my pick? April 29th through may 1st was the 2021 nfl draft no i got it i know that the nfl draft yeah i got i fucking know probably that i assume had something to do with that wait what was brandon's peak what it might because then you can learn from this and keep on doing that 21 i don't know what it would have been.

That's college football season. Yep. Yeah, so that's Thanksgiving, college football. And nobody searched for Che that day? Not one person. 100 to nothing? I don't know what I did in that week. I probably said something jackass about college football.

Something terrible. Yes, you'd be doing that. Learn from the trends and then do that again. Yeah. Like calling out Iowa. Do that. Well, fuck them. I don't care.

Who do you think your enemy is going to be this year? Do you know? Do you think about it? I think it might be Michigan again. Really? Is it Mark Titus? Oh. Is that when you changed jobs?

Yeah, that's probably when I came to Barst barcelona yeah so you got to do that again you got you got to switch jobs yeah yeah that was big for me huh i don't know who am i maybe michigan again i might just run that one back what about you just decide at the beginning of the year and make it a thing? You do the hats like a commitment day. Could be Florida. I got some stuff about Florida. Georgia. Georgia's going to be too good.

I don't have a chance to win that one. What about taking a position like Oregon is going to suck in the Big Ten, actually, and they're in for a rude awakening or something? What about just arbitrarily looking at a map and just being like, eh, fuck it, it's Oregon. And then... I think that could work, though.

Oregon has really passionate fans. And they would get really fired up. We could use this map in some way to find my next enemy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how we would. Go blind touch a state.

Okay. Blind touch? Yeah Sure Spin around Spin Speaking of Jerry After Dark tonight No no no

Coming to the front In the middle What's he doing tonight? He's doing blind And he can't hear or see And he's cooking With Chef Donnie Yeah

Alright So yeah keep spinning Okay do 300 to spins Yeah more Is your shoe falling apart? I know this isn't on the court But do y'all want Dickens here or not? cooking with chef donnie yeah all right so yeah keep spinning okay do 300 to spins yeah more is your shoe falling apart uh i know this isn't on the court but do y'all want dickens here or not because he's not i think spinning like the dickens and then i want you to throw the basketball out of state that is fast as fuck throw a basketball state oh okay that doesn't know Yep. Maine. Maine. Oh, dude. That sucks.

No. Maine. There's not a D1 school in Maine. Fire off a tweet right now. Maine football fucking stinks. Do fucking stinks, but censor stinks. S-T-Asterisk-N-K-S. And tag the Maine Barstool account.

All right. They probably do stink. Yeah, they have to. The Black Bears? Is that what they are? Yeah. Does Maine have any D1 teams? Maine.

Maine. Oh. They're not FBS, though. I wouldn't know what that meant anyway Yeah 2-9 Yeah that one's going to be tough Because I think the main fans are just going to go Yeah we do

We do stink Is there a main barstool? Alright Mook do it again. You got to do the closest Power 5 team. Okay. Don't even do the... What would that be to Maine? Austin College?

Yeah. Syracuse. What's... TJ, can you find the Maine Barstool? No, you got to touch it with your fingertip. Okay, so I have to get over there? Yeah. Spin around. I'm so I have to get over there? Yeah. Spin around.

Yeah, you're going to have to watch out. I'm going to watch that camera over here. Barstool UMO. Blindfold yourself. Okay. Do dizzy bat. Barstool UMO. State.

What's the O? Orono. Main Orono? Okay. Dizzy bat? Okay. Dizzy Bat? Yeah. Maine doesn't have any big cities. No.

Where's he going? I don't know. Have you guys ever been to Maine? Never. I'd like to go to Portland. I'd love to go to a beach in August in Maine. Yeah. I'm going there this month. It's lovely. You're going beach in August in Maine. Yeah. I'm going there this month.

That is lovely. You're going there this month, TJ? Yeah, I'm going to Acadia. Acadia. Acadia is beautiful. When my wife and I first got married, our plan was to go to a beach in Maine and just have our feet in the water. Then we got kids.

On the way to Afghanistan, you stop in Bangor, Maine, and all these little old people come out and say, good luck, don't die. Uh-huh. Then you get in your plane and leave. Why are you using shorts? Yeah, it's gross. At the crotch. You're right in the crotch. Those are Tituses, though, right? It's fine.

You're gonna have to make sure I'm pointed in the right direction. Somebody dive in front of the TV if he goes that way? Yeah, yeah. Ten seconds. Go. Go. Faster. Oh, my God. Holy shit, dude.

Oh, yeah, he might hit the TV. That's a microphone. You're fine. You're good. Keep going. Five, four, three, two. Oh, my God, Mook. All right.

Go. Where? Right, right, right, right. Yeah. You're in your seat. Oh, God. No, no, no, no. Right, right, right. You're in your seat. Oh, God. No, no, no. Easy.

All right, almost there. You got it. I can't talk about that. Okay. Okay. No, pick a... You have to... That fucking stinks.

Sorry about that. It's on Nevada. No, it's not Power 5. This isn't working. Yeah, that wasn't worth it. You could try MOOC, but no. Nah, it wasn't. Do it again?

No. We'll figure something else out. We'll figure something else out. Good effort, though. Thanks a lot, MOOC. You did your best, and your best just wasn't good enough. But you, I mean, closest might be like

Utah or BYU, if you want to pick one of those. I guess it would be, would it be, would it be them or would it be USC? Has BYU ever won

the whole thing? Yeah, 1984. Huh. Hey, Spider. What's up, Spider? Hey, guys. Hey. Ready for the summery? Hey.

Yep. All right. That's a good kid. I don't care what y'all say. Good kid. Good head on his shoulders. Do we have an Olympic village for the summer for these games? Yeah, who's fucking... We get to sleep on cardboard boxes?

Did they send home... Am I getting... Did sleep on cardboard boxes. Did they send home... Am I getting... Did I get ball sack? Did they send home some chick? Oh, from Paraguay. What happened? Swimmer from Paraguay? You might have got ball sack.

I saw it too. We might have both got ball sack. I don't remember her name, but she's very hot. And they sent her home for certain... For reasons. And I never really... She's too hot. I never really read the reasons.

She was being a distraction in the village? Yeah, so there's... Being too hot? Is she being a whore? So, reports reports there are two stories we have coming from these olympics one a guy had too big of a dick to win the pole vault and two there's a chick that was so fucking hot you get she's got to get the fuck out of here wait what i want to fuck i want to Those are... Yeah. 300,000 condoms given out at the Olympic Village. That's a lot of nerds.

Yeah. Are they living in, like, luxury? No. Oh, they don't. There's too bad of a bed bug problem in France. Like dorm rooms. Yeah, the USA men's basketball team just doesn't ever stay there. Not just this year, but any year.

They take over a whole hotel themselves. Oh, you can opt out of the village? If you have millions and millions of dollars, yeah. I feel like they should make you bunk up. I feel like that should be part of it. Kevin Durant should be bunking with LeBron James? Yes. And complaining that he's...

I think that's a good way to get nobody to want to play the basketball. What happened to Grit, man? What happened to... Yeah. I don't know. All these guys get rich

and they're like, I can't deal with that. Yeah, come on. That's the point of getting rich. I get it. Only reason to be rich. Yeah, but like... I think the surfers

were on a cruise ship. Yeah, they're in Tahiti. Yeah. Next thing you know, Grit Week's in L.A. They're viewing cheaters. Nothing matters anymore. Wait, is their new coach a cheater now, too? Sure is.

Well, no. Harbaugh went to the Chargers. Well, yeah, the new Michigan coach is indicted. Deleting texts. What? I didn't know this. The allegations that came out from the NCAA, the new head coach has 52 deleted texts with Connor Stallion.

Yeah. So they're throwing the new guy under the bus is what's going to happen. But whatever. I feel like you should throw the old guy under the bus. That old guy doesn't want the bus. Yeah. He came out yesterday and said. The new guy is the guy that you need right now.

The old guy, you kind of got what you needed. I think they're just throwing him out. Yeah. They'll get him fired and then they'll just move on. they want a championship and that's all that matters in college football which would you be fine if your coach cheated for a championship fuck yeah yes fuck i mean i would not listen i i love shitting on michigan for whatever they did but yes as much as you can cheat no you gotta do you to do things the right way. So Ohio State does.

Sure. It's the noblest team in all sports, I think. The Buckeyes. Yep. Are you guys hip to... It was above board. I don't like the way you started that question. You're not going to like where it goes either.

Okay. Are you hip to Dunedin, Newaland no castle street no what you be talking about talking about like university in new zealand and how these kids live no is it sick anything about it is like the biggest party street in the world go to type in dunedin uh castle street teacher why are you hip to it just found it yesterday, and I was scrolling all night on these New Zealand kids partying at college. They live in a piece of shit. It looks like a Project X party. This looks like Center Street at Virginia Tech.

Burns again. There's TikToks of people interviewing these kids, and they just go to school just to get fucked up. Yeah, they have to sound so funny too. And they sound hilarious. They're like, this is all flat. So American colleges or Power 5 colleges get hyped up and have these parties around football games. What do New Zealand colleges have their parties around?

Just being there? Just being alive? Yeah, being alive. DJs. Huh. They get hammered, dude. That looks like a lot of college party streets. That looks awful right there.

Who's that guy? Over here, we got the stage. That looks like... Made out of some pallets that we acquired... There's no supervision. Fuck, come. I think... Does well.

See? Sturdy as, boy. Sturdy as. Over here's the shed. Not as sturdy as that, as you can see. Yeah. Yeah, I got fucking stomped in. What? What's that? I think that as you can see. Yeah. Yeah, I got fucking stomped in. What?

What's that? I think that was just the intro. Oh. That's cool. What? This is Castle Street, an area of New Zealand completely run by students. Decades of street parties, riots, and vandalism have given Castle Street an infamous reputation. I think a lot of...

Like, that's probably just... That's not every day. I think it is. Is this the best place on earth or the worst? Worst. There's seven of us girls who live here.

We're live in this fuck flat. What? What are you saying? What? Next question, please. What's it like living on Castle Street? This is squalor. This looks awful.

Oh my God. This is sad. These people are actually homeless i think it's like kind of awesome quite a bad day someone jumped on the coffee table this was like our rugby house really we lived in i lived in a house that was yeah it was horrendous that was never a coffee table that's just regularly that's cute that's a nice little cottage oh they're a lot better off. Oh, these are gentlemen. Yeah, you got to look after your stuff. We're always fucking painting, putting in new doors, fixing walls, just about everything under the sun. It's kind of like when you're five and you think, oh, bro, imagine when we're like flat. We'll just get like a spa pool and shit and just make it ourselves. When you're five?

This is the spa pool right here. We fill it up using the shower. Only when three hours, three hours of power is on. Yeah, nah. Goes well. Goes well on those cold, chilly days. That looks horrible. This is our lounge.

Yeah. But I think it's just fascinating. I didn't know they had a college culture. Yeah, that's pretty much it. And people go there and just visit, and they don't leave. I kind of thought, this is stupid and naive i guess i thought america had its own i think we were the only one with the college culture like we have i felt that too i didn't know that other countries have yes yeah in the uk i don't imagine like a

street like that with probably not like france does france have that does does brazil have that hmm i think i know other colleges have greek life so i like all the canada goes hard they Does France have that? Does Brazil have that? Hmm. I think I... Do other colleges have Greek life? So, Canada goes hard. They have some party colleges. But they're just us. I imagine they all do, right? I think Australia might.

You get a group of young people together. 18 to 22. Yeah, they're going to a party. And they're just able to drink legally? Get fucked up and sucked up, right? Probably not there. Gotta get fucked up and sucked up. Yeah.

But a lot of these kids are wearing Vince Carter Raptors jerseys. Oh, yeah. So, I think they're emulating American culture. That's the best outfit to get sucked in. Yeah. That is, that's the party uniform. Yeah. The pinstripe purple? Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather get sucked in the Jason Williams Black Kings 55. Certainly. Yeah. That's my top jersey to get sucked in. I'm trying to think of it. You'd rather get sucked in that, but the most sucked is Vince Carter.

Yeah. It's far more sucked than. There's a tier of suckable jerseys. There was a time in my life where a Dream Team jersey was the number one, but I think it's kind of overplayed now. I've gotten sucked in a Dream Team jersey so many times at this point that it's like you get hard just putting it on from the memory. You can certainly get sucked in a Sean Kemp Supersonic jersey.

Right. No doubt about that. You've got to suck in a Charlotte Hornet starter jacket. You've never – Oh, yeah? Oh, you have to suck to to actually do the sucking because you're outside oh right right i didn't get sucked in a hakim elijah jersey that was one where it was like no sucking it's the best non-sucking of your life yeah what's the top five jerseys you've never been sucked in? Yossi El Puig, Kimmelage Juan. Has anybody gotten sucked in a Manute Bowl jersey? I'm sure.

Manute Bowl probably. Sucking Manute Bowls dick had to be a chore. Titus. Like cleaning the roof. Titus, can I bring you in a jersey and you have to get sucked in? I have to get sucked in whatever jersey.

Yeah, I'll do that. Okay. Challenge accepted. You see the picture of Simone Biles and Shaq standing next to each other a while ago. I asked to. A while ago, but I asked this. We were doing the stream yesterday

and they got brought up and then I asked the room. When you see a picture like that, do you want to see pictures, more pictures of Shaq? My God. So is your instinct like, I need to see Shaq standing next to other people,

more instances of him standing next to other people or more instances of Simone Biles standing next to other people? I think it's Biles. It's Simone. There was that first pitch where she ran out and hugged the catcher. She, the perspective was crazy because he kept growing and her shrinking away from the camera was nuts. Wait, how tall is she? 4'8".

I had no idea she was so small. She doesn't look that small. I know gymnasts are small, but she doesn't look that small. No, not at all. Yeah, this one. Oh my god. Wow.

Oh my god. She probably makes Altuve look like a giant. Yeah. No idea. I gotta get to her. Camera crew. How tall is DeVito he's gotta be four man did y'all see him when he came in the office I think that might be

the most starstruck I've ever ever been for someone at the office understandable I know I knew he was short I was stunned when I saw him he was so much smaller in person than I thought he was gonna be was he rounder than you thought no he was just shorter so tiny like you could have put him in your pocket like he was so small so small legitimately like waist high on me like it was god damn he like

came up to my chest like and he was like oh well cassie lebron uh simone biles like he's he's six eight that's one's not that bad. That's not as bad as... But that seems like more than two feet. He slouched a little and a little ahead of her. Huh. That's Simone Biles. No, I did not know that.

I guess I've only seen her in interviews like sitting down. There are stuffed animals that are bigger than her. Significantly. She's an American hero. She is. She rules. Yeah, she's awesome. And you know what?

LeBron and Shaq are awesome, too. Wow. They're all awesome. Wow. Everybody's awesome? Everybody's awesome. In the LA Olympics, we're for sure going to have flag football. We're going to have our NFL players play at it, is the rumor.

Yeah. What would be disappointing for you besides a loss like how close would be too close i think anything within three three or four three yeah like i i've never been more disappointed than our three on three basketball teams both losing like we send jimmer for dead over there and he doesn't want a goddamn thing get hurt if flag foot whatever we should have other jimmers yeah flag football were to that would be the new most disappointing with our nfl players playing yeah that would be yeah they should win every game by by five to six touchdowns yeah what are we bringing any other sports in for for us so i learned from jeff i didn't know this

that they add stuff that's they add sports for one year that's uh that lends itself to the country the host country that's why we have break dancing so yeah uh we're adding football we're adding a baseball softball back for one year that makes sense but that might be japan probably has a good team and lacrosse oh and lacrosse oh malicek what about like is it? Oh, yeah. That feels like... Would you put the medal around the car? I don't know. Yes.

I guess... I guess Lightning McQueen could compete for us. What about... I'm trying to think of what other... Is Owen Wilson American? Very. Right? I don't know.

For some reason, I thought Canadian. If Malasek goes to the Olympics, if he qualifies for the lacrosse team, wouldn't it be a... Is it awesome or a little bit disappointing that he wouldn't get to travel for the Olympics, he just goes to L.A.? I know competing for an actual Olympian in your home country is great, but if you just make the Olympics once and you get – wouldn't you want to travel and go somewhere like Paris or London or Tokyo?

You'd be traveling all the way from Chechya to Los Angeles. I'd have to go to Chechya and pick everybody up, yeah. That's, yeah. I don't know. For you as a guy who might want to go to the Olympics to watch someday, are you more likely to go when it's here or when it's elsewhere? When it's here, yeah. Yeah.

I doubt. It's one thing to travel to, like, Paris. I would be very intimidated going there during the olympics for my first time in paris would just be don't i wouldn't even know what there's there's more things to yeah i would want it here it's probably easier that so there's an event in town and everybody's doing the same thing so it probably is easier but it's i wouldn't think like if when the olympics come around and you go to la for the olympics i wouldn't think i'm at the olympics i would think i'm at LA watching a bunch of shit going on.

Whereas if I went to the Paris Olympics, I'd be like, holy shit, I'm at the Olympics. Yeah, but I would want to do so much other stuff in Paris. Yeah, I would get FOMO. I'd be like, shit, I'm sitting here watching this sport when I could also be, I don't know, doing something. Could also be what? I don't know.

What do the French do? Smoking a cigarette inside a cafe. The Louvre. The Louvre. The Louvre. Seeing the lady, Mona Lisa. Business idea. Do you think the hotel room's already booked

for 2028 in LA? Should we start buying them up? Should we buy Mook a hotel? Do you think you can buy them this far in advance? Do you think you can buy them and then flip them? Do you want to book them now and then gouge the people coming in? Yes.

That's American. They're way more expensive now if they even are available. You probably can't book out to 2028. I'm going to guess, yeah, that if you called the four seasons in L.A. and were like, you know that week the Olympics are going to be there? You're pulling a fast one on them. They know. I'd like to buy low.

I call it. Oh, we forgot about the Olympics. I'd like to buy. I call it. Oh, we forgot about the Olympics. I'd like to buy low right now. Yeah, buy the dip. Did the market fuck you, Brandon? You in ruin? Just if you don't look, you don't know. Yeah.

Just rat it out. That's what I say. Like any market problems or health problems, just ignore them and eventually you'll either die or they'll fix themselves. What is Donnie cooking? Because goddammit it smells delicious. I don't smell anything. Is it just me? Do I just

walk around with a smell on my nose? No, there's like a slightly deep fried kind of smell going on. Walk around with a smell on your nose? I don't know if that's an insult or not. If I did walk around with a smell on my nose, it would be deep fried. My nephew, he's the type of kid to walk around with a smell on his nose. Well, he's – Sounds like it.

Brandon, would you like to buy some sort of salve you could line your nostrils and always be smelling steak? I would say the smell of barbecue is an elite smell. I used to go out of my way in my hometown to go past the barbecue restaurant so I could smell it. Yeah. I'd roll my windows down, I'd go slow, and I'd just take it in. We were bored. We were bored back in the day. No, no. We grew up next to a dip factory

and you would drive past and you could tell what dip they were making. Really? A dip in what? Like tobacco. Okay. Kate, we had the Nabisco factory. Oh, nice. Cookie factory. Oh, i bet that was a little great yeah pepperidge farm not too far from you remember the wonder bread in columbus yes yeah yeah that was great that's an apartment complex yeah we had a meat processing place and they would

kill the pigs every sunday oh that's beautiful you would smell dead pigs all week i just watched this springer clip about this guy worked at the chicken factory and I guess they have to hang the chickens upside down while they're still alive. And they would go for all the guys would gather together and they'd go for the record to see how many. 102 in a minute. You gotta make it a game. That's a lot of chickens in a minute. Wow.

Well TJ and I live next to a chocolate factory. What? They're closing it. And I don't know if I like it. Really? It smells like pure brownies which is delicious. It's kind of nauseating. and i don't know if i like it yeah it smells like pure brownies which is delicious yeah it's kind of nauseating but you don't want to like does your apartment smell like chocolate the air does the air does yeah but it closed and it closed yeah in that song when i'm back in chicago yeah there's a line about like the air smelling like chocolate and no kidding reference to that chocolate, I don't like it.

I'd rather taste it. The guy that sings that song is Steve from Stranger Things? Is it? Oh, really? Brandon just left, but Nicky Smokes put out a statement about the summer games. Oh, let's see. We have four more ads. Yeah, oh, fuck.

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nearest you at highnoonspirits.com high noon sun's up why don't you hit another one yeah a twofer all right guys it's game time you know what it is we talk about it all the time game time the official ticketing partner of borrowstool sports did you know you could go see the twins at cubs tonight for only 20 dollars that's right you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. GameTime is a fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible, and their lowest price guarantee, which means that you can find the same seats for less anywhere else. GameTime will credit you 110% of the difference.

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of all time. That's right. If they break their losing streak would be what? The all time MLB record could get set if they lose out this losing streak would be what the all-time mlb record could get set if they lose out this week on friday night and then it'd be fireworks night after they lose oh the cubs are on a streak the white socks have lost 21 oh the white socks they've lost every game since the all-star break are they doing it on purpose to get like a new stadium or first pick of a new player or something or no i think they stink oh and dave white socks dave and eddie and danny and danny flew all the way out to oakland yesterday yeah to watch them play

the a's and lose and i think they're flying back today a day trip to oakland a day trip to oakland to watch the a's white socks i loved that stadium it's like the perfect shithole you can smoke a cigarette in it and nobody cares. Oh yeah. Like a giant cement bowl. It's perfect for your future husband to get arrested. Yep. But the tailgate area was fun. It's like when the team really

stinks and the people are just there to have a good time because the tickets are cheap. There's kind of a nice vibe to that. I don't know if the White Sox have that. It is kind of easy to root for a shitty team because you have no expectations. Whenever I go to a pirate game, I get real drunk and I don't know if the White Sox have that. It is kind of easy to root for a shitty team because you have no expectations. Whenever I go to a pirate game, I get real drunk and you don't have to you're not upset after a loss.

You know it's coming. You already know. And so, hey, let's have a nice time. And baseball is a sporting event where like, the game almost takes second to walking around getting beers. Yeah, get my Icy Light Mangoeses it's almost like a background activity icy like mango yeah wow ah those are good yeah yeah didn't know that was

the thing those are good oh yeah you were throwing them back in pittsburgh oh yeah oh yeah i love pittsburgh i want to go back i'm going i'm flying in there Friday, Thursday night What you got going on? Rough and Rowdy I hope I, I want to work with Betts forever Yeah, I don't, I don't know if we realized Was Mikey Betts His like promo video was just him Beating up a guy in a parking lot

Austin, Dave Austin's Dave's bitch Austin Asked Mikey Betts for promo for rough and rowdy. And Mikey Betts set back him like punching a heavy bag pictures of him in the training facility. And then one grainy parking lot video of him beating the fuck out of a parking lot. Where is that now? Austin.

There's a video on Viva that is austin watching it yeah which is crazy with boxing gloves no no it's like a fight it's like a real fight i was because mikey betts is like very subdued every time i see him but i hear behind the scenes is he like a party guy i have no idea he's a party guy yeah mikey betty pie guy party guy yes okay he was here at eight o'clock this morning getting his workout in good getting going yeah can we even show a street fight on youtube or no yeah yeah there's youtube channels dedicated to just that right where is he from bets that's from chicago chicago he's gonna win easily yeah i think they're both gonna tire out quickly

you know how it goes but he'll win I just don't want to have to interview him I would be the first person that has to talk to him if he's fired hey man it was nice working with you and you just got your ass beat

hey you got the fuck beat out of you on television but at least you're unemployed yeah you have a baby on the way no need for health insurance no need for health insurance he's gotta win he has to win yeah oh here it is that's just gotta tell mikey betts fighting a guy at a park that's the best one to use. There's the R-Rop show. What the fuck?

Just, it's a full- Oh, during the day time? It's like, oh, here's Mikey Betts hitting the bags. And, you know, Frank watched him. And there's Mikey Betts doing one of these Nate workout videos. I was so confused. And then the last one is just security footage. And I was like, what the fuck's happening? Oh, my god.

Broad daylight. It's like an all real fight. Fuck yeah, Betts. That's the best type of promo. He's terrified if I saw my opponent doing that. Is he here?

I would love to hear the context. He was here today. I don't know. I might have left. He was here early as fuck this morning if i might have left he was here early as fuck this morning yeah he's been here with a trainer just blasting music yeah are any of you like good friends with someone who got the shit beat out of them yeah yeah the street fight uh on the school bus were they young yeah well yeah i'm talking about getting an adult no my buddy got hit in the head

with a 40 at temple that's still young but that's not getting the shit beat out of you no and they beat the shit out of them damn i'm talking about like a one-on-one fight okay where somebody gets destroyed i i don't know anybody like that yeah I had a girlfriend try and break up a fight and get an arm just completely shattered. Shattered arm breaking up a fight? Yeah. She got in between these dudes that were fighting and just, I don't know what happened, but like here, here, like she was casted up for a long time. God damn.

Yeah. Also, I think I talked about it. I was on a flight from North Carolina back here and there was this guy with the big Jesus sign and the cross and on the flight and it was Southwest so you could sit wherever and me and two kids and i'm like no one's gonna sit next to us he sat next to us scribbling in this book the whole time and when we landed he's like here i was writing prayers for you and your kids the whole time i was like oh thank you um while we were taxiing to the runway i was like what you know what led you to this he was on a layover on his way to live with the homeless in san francisco oh yeah and like what was the impetus that your life like

took this turn got the shit beat out of him at temple that's exactly what i'm saying yes he got i think you have to change your entire personality yeah life route he said he almost died like he got beat within an inch of his life and like and then from the time he got out of the hospital totally yeah that might have been my boy. If you go through. Really? I haven't heard from him. He was like your age.

He was like your age, so. You just question how you put yourself in that position. Yeah. And have to change all but your behaviors, I guess. I don't know. But that's why I probably don't have any friends that have had that. Because I don't want to be around people that put themselves. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Not that I'm victim blaming, but, that's exactly what I'm doing. Maybe they're aware of the wrong thing. Winners only for you? Yeah. No, I don't want to be around a winner. I don't want to be around people that are also winning street fights.

Oh, no, those are the worst. There's just no street fighters. No, yeah. Yeah, so... As it turns out, I don't want to hang out with people in their 30s who... My friend...

You never know when they're going to fucking... 30s is tough. I want to take this outside. My friend Guile got in some street fights. Shut up. Oh, good joke, Brandon. Holy shit. No one could make that connection when you said the word street fighters.

You wanted the common name of Guile. No one else thought should we make a reference to the video game Street Fighter? Do you think you and Guile would be friends? Well, Chun-Li was always running her mouth. What was that? Guile's name. Oh, okay. What Street Fighter would fuck with you the most?

Guile wouldn't like me, and I wouldn't like Guile. I think me and E. Honda could get down on some... Guaranteed. Yeah. Guaranteed. Blanca. Blanca? Yeah. He's noted. Blanca. Blanca? Yeah, he's...

He's not human. I know. That's why... Oh, you mean fuck with, like, hang with... Yeah. I thought you said fuck you up the most. I mean, Dhalsim, no. Sagat, no.

It's E-Honda for me. I think that whole roster is a bad hang. Hadouken guy? Ryu or Ken? I guess it's Ryu, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ryu? Ryu? Ryu? I would say Ryu. Ryu you yeah oh you was never a street fighter guy either was a were you a mortal kombat guy is that where lu

kang was yep i like lu kang they did have better better hands johnny cage that's how that's the sound he made when he kicked right i don't think so that was a kick sound effect that's the sound he makes when he's doing his like uh his bicycle kick yeah lu kang was uh he was the one that did the flying kick right yeah hey yeah something in that and then why did i think that was the sound i don't think that was the soundya. Yeah, thank you. Wait, what? Yeah. He's right. That's funny as hell. Imagine losing to that.

Sounds like a turkey. Che, how did you mess that up so badly? Che went with hi-ya. Hi-ya? I think he said hi-ya. No, there's a guy. I thought it was Liu Kang. In the Super Nintendo version, there's not a bicycle kick.

It's just a straight air kick. They took away Liu Kang. In the Super Nintendo version, there's not a bicycle kick. It's just a straight air kick. I think you're wrong about that. I think you're wrong about that. He had a kick too, but they never took the bicycle away. You can't take that away. I feel like playing a fighting game. These are newer.

These are all... Dude, I'm not going to lie. I never played this game before and when you said Guile i just thought it was one of your like southern boys yeah hope banana and guile yeah i guess i could have chose ken that would have been more believable you think anyone goes by gj that just doesn't work the head coach of no all the other letters no work there's a guy named gj kenny he's a coach of either te either Texas State or who is it? G.J. is the worst.

North Texas or Texas State? Every other letter. It's like, all right. Who's the coach of Texas State? That kind of flows. G.J. Kinney. Yeah. G.J.

Right, that doesn't flow. Gary Joe. A.J. B.J. G.J. Kinney. Yeah, D.J. for sure. I think it gets bailed out by the last name. F.J. is still. I could see G.K. before G.J. You can't do N.JJ is still. I could see GK before GJ.

You can't do NJ. NJ. It's better than GJ. It sounds better than GJ. There's a guy in the news named NJ Burkett, I believe. Damn. NJ is in New Jersey. NJ kind of works.

Even XJ. ZJ, yes. XJ. YJ, maybe. Yeah, YJ for sure. NJ Burkett. Oh. GJ.

Oh, we should do an alphabet of every J. We should have them in the office. We get an AJ, a BJ, CJ. Yeah. When does it get weird? Because the first four are all, EJ's kind of fine. EJ's fine. FJ's a little.

I kind of like FJ. But, um. GJ, HJ. It's GJ. I love HJ. HJ. GJ. IJ. LJ. KJ. IJ. IJ. IJ. H-J. G-J. I-J.

L-J. K-J. I-J. I-J. K-J works. I-J would be wild. L-J. M-J. N-J.

O-J. O-J. That'd be good. Yep. State Farm founded by a G-J. Wow. Good question. Yeah. wow hmm good question yeah do we need to get out of here for the summer games

yeah what did you say two more ads I don't care back page Brandon I just don't give a fuck about Nick everyone loves talking about Steven Singer. You've heard the expression a million times. I hate Steven Singer because most

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box plus 20% off for your next month that's code yak50 at factormeals.com slash yak50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Hell yeah. All right, that's whatever. He's acting like he's off the team. I'm disappointed to say the least representing Team Yellow in the Barstool Summer Games is something I dreamed of since I was a kid.

That's funny. I was willing to lay my life on the line. Knowledgement. Well done. I was willing to lay my life on the line. Knowledgement. Well done. I was willing to lay my life on the line for this team, and it breaks my heart to see what has transpired. I get where Brandon is coming from. If you want to play, great, but don't tell someone who's worked their whole life

for this opportunity. They're not playing an hour before the event. After talking to my family, friends, and the big man above, my agent has agreed to a lucrative deal with Jersey Jerry if I'm not utilized properly in today's. Yeah, all right. All right. Cool.

Send him off. Send him off. You like Seth Rollins getting a little boy like that? Well, it was out of nowhere. Bronson Reed, nobody saw it coming. He got over so fast. So fast. But, you know, you attack a top guy, you become a top guy.

That's how it works. Good God. Yeah. And then I like Drew and Punk continuing because Drew and the crowd. Drew and Punk just feud all the time. They're just great. Phenomenal guys. Yeah.

I thought it was pretty cool. Did you see the Odyssey Jones make his debut? Yeah. He's strong as fuck. He picked up two guys. Two guys. Like it was nothing to it. It's been a wheel, TJ.

Good debut. NXT coming to Chicago. When? Live October 1st, I think. Oh, that's the first day of October. It's their first on a new network, CW. Oh, we might have to go to that. I'd go.

That's another person who's shockingly short in person. Shawn Michaels. Really? Shockingly short. Yeah. Isn't he 5'10 or 5'11? I don't think so. What is he?

5'7 or 5'8 it felt like. Oh, so I elicit shock. No, because I didn't grow up watching you beat up other men in your underwear. All right. I didn't grow up thinking you were a certain height. Smother me with kisses. Why don't you? All right.

Sorry. Why don't you just smother me with kisses? Like metaphorical kisses? No. Or actually... The kiss, yeah. You want me to just kiss you? Smother me with kisses.

Eskimo? Smooch. I don't know that I can smother you with kisses. Butterfly? That's with your eyelashes. That's disgusting. I give the best butterflies in the country. You have long ones.

Oh, you do? I got range on these things. Can we get Butterfly Kiss by Mook to the wheel? Yeah. Why not? My dad's eyelashes started growing straight down over his eyelids, so he has to go to a beautician to get them like, but he has to get his eyelashes permed.

Really? Yeah, they go straight down over his eyes. He said he just woke up one day and they're perfectly straight down. TJ, is Dante not going to come get this towel whip or what? It's not here. I understand. He said he's on a construction site. He apologizes.

He said he will take it. I asked for a day this week. He's not responding. He's on a construction set? He definitely doesn't have to be there. He's only there just to... Alright, spin the motherfucking wheel. Just to not get whipped

in the ass. Not to get bare ass whipped. Take Mook Butterfly the fuck off the wheel. We're leaving Cornish Ameri- Yes, we're leaving Corn Jamiroquai. Put my butterfly back on there. Imagine having to choose between Corner Jamiroquai.

One year for Jamiroquai. TJ, before you spin this, actually take Mook's butterfly off. Yeah, you have to at this point. At this point, you gotta. Just want someone to love me. Butterfly kisses. Oh, God, don't. Corner Jamiroquai. What would you pick right now, Brandon? I just want someone to love me. Butterfly kisses. Oh, God, don't. Corn or jamaic why?

What would you pick right now, Brandon? Jamaic why? A year to eat jamaic why? I don't want to look at my poop. A day of corn or a week? Is it a week of corn? It's until the corn turns your poop into corn. You have to eat corn until your poop's straight corn.

But whole kernel corn, right? Like on the cob. You can't eat like ground corn.'s straight corn. But whole kernel corn, right? Like on the cob. You can't eat like ground corn. Or you can eat whole kernel corn. Brandon, if you send a picture of the cob in the toilet, I'm finally done. That wasn't so bad. Wait, Brandon, go get a corn on the cob. There should be, if there's one in there, and put it in the toilet and tweet like,

Only food you see twice. only food you see twice. Only food you see twice. Alright, make sure you watch the Barstool Summer Games. They're starting in about 15 to 20 minutes, I guess. And then it'll be teams of five, three teams of five. Three teams of five.

Me and Titus and Jerry are captains. Mook's on my team. Kyle's on my team. And Rudy. You guys have a good team. Yeah, Nick's doing the announcing with Jeff D. Lowe. Kate is refereeing. Right?

Yep. So everybody's involved. Everybody here is involved. They're going to have cameras in the gambling cave where everyone else is going to be. There's going to be like live. Oh, reactions? Reactions. Okay. People can line the pickleball court. Come to Barstool River North tonight. in the gambling cave where everyone else is going to be there's going to be like live reactions. People can line the pickleball court.

Come to Barstool River North tonight. Yeah. Hard Knocks watch party. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of people there. Mom's night out. Only the first half of Hard Knocks though. You wouldn't want to spoil the end. Yeah. Alright, we'll be back tomorrow. That's a yak. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop

We're doing Yankee Swap It's the act It's the act Hey Quick picks Hey. Quick picks. Barstool Games. Mostly Sports Dynasty.

Jerry After Dark. Lock in. Love you, bye.