The Yak - Brandon & Joey Are Mad Online, During Fat Bear Week No-Less! | The Yak 10-4-21

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

I'll drop your fuckin djmbassYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Welcome to Yak. Let's just pick up the conversation right there. I liked your video, Sass, Mocking Religion. I just imagine like some... And then I said I don't really like to play by the rules right there. I liked your video, Sass, mocking religion. Yeah. I just imagine like some... And then I said, I don't really like to play

by the rules in comedy. Yeah. I kind of see myself as like the bad boy in the comedy scene. I just imagine some like poor, poor like person in a third world country

where like literally all they have is religion and the hope of eternal salvation after they like... Yeah, that's kind of what the video... They reprieve from

this hellhole of an earth and then they watch your video and they're like, this whole thing is stupid. That's what the goal was. You gotta choose, religion or sass. I was hoping it would get out

to third world countries and maybe it would destroy any sense of hope that they have left. This whole thing makes no sense. So I like that video a lot. How he killed religion? Yeah, he killed religion.

We've been trying to kill religion for 10,000 years and Sass did it with a minute-long video. His hotel room at Twilight. Society's already progressing. People also were pissed off. The video of you at Penn State just being like, someone said fucker in the pussy. You're like, where else?

Of course. That was funny. That got to people who didn't know who you were and they're furious about it. What are they mad about? What, those are anal fans that are furious? Anal fans.

What do you mean, of course? This isn't a foregone conclusion that you're going to fuck her in the pussy. Mouth hole. You can fuck her in the ear or behind the knee. You can put it in your throat.

But they were like, I hope the fucking meteor strikes this. What community is that that's like taping for ass sex? Yeah, no. Is that what they were doing? The strictly anal community.

They must have been. Mormons, I think. Yeah, derfers. Yeah, the super religious people. So that's actually pissing off all the super religious because there's also the super religious people that won't have vaginal sex before marriage. Yes.

They will have anal. The poophole loophole. Yeah. Of course. I. The poophole loophole. Yeah. Of course. I feel like that's not true. No, that is. The super religious, they're fucking in the ass, which is more vulgar and vile than a... Nah, dude.

Does that really exist, though? That's like pre-season football. Yeah, it is. Wow. Are they vocal about it, the super religious? It's exactly like pre-season football. It's pre-season football. It doesn't count.

But I think it happens. It's kind of the same thing, but not really. So you can gauge your performance a little bit from it. Not having sex in the vagina preserves the virginity. Correct. The hymen. Ever heard of it? Who's the rapper?

T.I. Texas Daughters Hymen. Yikes, that guy. That was super. He's a weirdo. And he's still just living his life. He's like, I said what I said. I did what I did.

You can't be mad at me. But I think all super religious sects like Mormons, Hasidic Jews, extremists, Muslim. They don't admit it publicly. I think some do. In their sermons, like preachers, they don't talk about ass fucking. Yeah, they just stand up about ass-fucking. Yeah, they just stand up like Baptist preachers. Should the Jews or ass-fuckers? Put it in the ass.

I don't know. It's news to me, but maybe. I think it is... I heard about the overlap when I was doing the Mormon video. They're like, this is also a big thing in other religious sects. I mean, did we talk about on this show how Mormon soaking makes no sense? There's like bed jumpers.

Have you seen that? It's like the old commercials where the woman drops a bowling ball on the bed and there's a glass of wine on the other end. It's like getting double jumped on a trampoline. Somebody else doing the work for you. Double jump, you're coming. A single like getting double jumped on a trampoline. Somebody else doing the work for you. Yes. Oh, double jump.

You're coming. No, like a single jump is as dicey as it is. Double jump. And you know what would suck too with that? You'd assume that the bed jumper is probably the girl's fat friend. Not only could she not fuck, but she has to also do the work. There's girls that get fucked. There's hot girls and then there's bed jumpers.

You're more of a bed jumper. You can shake things just by standing. You're so pretty. Like a T-Rex glass of water. You're so pretty. You'd make a perfect bed jumper. She's trying to jump a lot so she loses weight and she becomes the fuck girl.

If you bed jump enough, you become the hot girl. I think that the dudes fetishize the bed jumpers and they're like, oh my God, I need that girl to bed jump me. They're the ones that they're after. She's the best bed jumper in town. People are dying for that.

You got an opening. What's your vertical? Yeah, from 7 to 7.05 on Friday night. They had to have been furious when Tempur-Pedics came out and there were people jumping on the beds and the wine wouldn't spill. The Mormon community hates Tempur-Pedics came out There were people jumping on the beds and the wine wouldn't spill The Mormon community just hates Tempur-Pedics

God damn it What's up boys everyone's here Oh yeah First time ever Boys are back in town KB I have a question for you Is that drink that you're drinking Is that pre-workout or is that just an energy drink

It's an energy drink right What does it say See no I think you might be drinking the pre-workout one. Am I? I worry for you in that sense. Dude, I've been going full gym guy. Have you drank one of those before? You got your torso reveal coming up in less than a month.

I do. I'm making good progress. I've been banging out push-ups like no one ever has. I've been doing everything. No one? Because I need to win this torso reveal. I think I just have a bad... I think I have a genetically bad torso.

Yeah. Can't do anything about it. There's something weird about your torso. You're going to need to do more than push it. We don't know at all what it looks like. From the outside, it doesn't look terrible. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Sass just had a ton of tattoos? Kevin Durant tattoos.

Business tats. That would be very respectful. But what was disrespectful was you saying no one's ever done push-ups like this before because Stephen Che had a push-up a month club or a thousand push-ups a month that he just got back into. A thousand a week. God, that was a low point in all of our lives. COVID had just hit. You did 700 in one day.

Stephen Shea was bullying us on text when COVID hit. Did you do push-ups? That was the peak of entertainment and deciding on Twitter your ideal lunch table in high school. Favorite ice cream snacks. Build your favorite lunch group. Tiger King. Tiger King. Did you see Tiger King 2?

I'm actually all good because we're not trapped inside anymore. I don't need to watch this. My apartment wasn't big enough to do a push-up and Che booted me from the chat. He did. So Brandon,

it was supposed to be a thousand a week and Brandon got to the end of the week and he had only done 25 and then all of a sudden he's like, I'm actually at 725 right now. 730 today. Um, that's very impressive. Yeah.

Really good of you, Brandon. So I had the whole seat. You want just that one specific one to start. I just, I love it. We should make it a shirt. I need you to know I can't do 700 pushups in a day. No. Why'd you change that?

Why just let him believe it? I don't want him to know. What are you doing? I can't do 700 push-ups in a day. No, why'd you change that? Why'd you just let him believe it? I don't want him to know. What are you doing? I didn't think that. I've seen you bang out 20 pretty easily, so I never know. What's the difference? You could space them out a lot. How many can you do straight?

In the morning? In a day? 700 is a stretch, though. At once, maybe 25 or 30. Mullen Arrow can do 40. Pull it up, Zop. There it is. I mean, that ratio.

Oh, this is what I would do. Yeah, it lasts out. I'm a red-blooded American that gets pissed from time to time. Happens. Onward. So I had a theory that I threw out there. Like Cloyd Rivers would throw on a shirt. I had a theory. Can you pull that back up? On Saturday,

I think Brandon, if you look at Joey's name there, it's J-E-A-U-X-Y. I think Brandon was reading that as Jewy, and that's why he was fighting. Yeah. Like, he just misread the whole thing. He's like, this fucking Jew's coming at me. I can't have this. Brandon, do you and Joey have beef prior to this? I would imagine.

No, no, we did not have. And on Pick Central, the beef got squashed. He called in, everything's all gone. Why don't you explain for the yak fans? Yo, why are you doing that? I thought this is our content. No, how is this our content? It should be.

This is our content. That's like gambling content. It's not gambling. All right, well. We're the roast boys. So in this space, we're still mad at him. I'm still mad at him? No, we just wanted to know.

I think deep down, you both are still very mad at each other. I was never mad. There was never any anger with me whatsoever. Definitely were mad. You can squash the beef. It's never really squashed. Okay, so last week, my football team, Mississippi State, lost to LSU. 10X.

10X. 10X. The second it went final, he texted me me and said i hope you have a good day in chicago and then he texted me a picture of him in an lsu jersey so i was like okay all right snarky fair enough yeah snide you chirped me on text fine now we're now we're in like playful guy band yeah and there's the text and now and and i said okay well i'm gonna come back at him and i and i went on twitter i said why does joey get to have two teams purdue lsu and i kept doing these pictures.

Every time he would do it with LSU, I'd put a Purdue picture or something like that. I was making fun of him for having two teams. And Saturday, he put out a picture in a Purdue jersey. And I said, this fucking guy. And that was it. He got very, very angry at that. Who is that fucking guy? I don't know who that is.

Hell of a head. What? Hell of a head. Jerry Dick? His name is Jerry Dick? Jerry Dick? Yeah, Jerry Dick. Show his I was talking about George. Hell of a head. Hell of a head. I was talking about George. Jerry Dick? His name's Jerry Dick? Jerry Dick? Yeah, Jerry Dick. Show his head again.

Jerry Dick. That's his torso. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is Jerry Dick. He looks like a bobblehead. So anyway, yeah, grown man spending his time worrying about what I do, having a good time, and then- Can you go to the throw pillows tweet?

This guy's got like six kids, and he's like- That was a good one. Damn. He wife shamed people. You see the throw pillows tweet? What's the throw pillows tweet? He wife shamed was a good one. He wife shamed people. You see the throw pillows tweet? What's the throw pillows tweet? He wife shamed you. He wife shamed you and he pillow shamed people with wives. Only three of us in this room

right now have wives and you. He wasn't wife shaming, he was pillow shaming. It was kind of a low-key wife shame. I don't know. If you don't have a wife, you're kind of a loser. I'm having a scary day. My ring disappeared. I don't know where it went. Oh, Urban Meyer over here. I don't know where it went. Oh, Urban Meyer over here. I don't know where it went.

Someone grind up on this ad. I was driving in, and I scratched my finger, and it just wasn't there. I don't know what to do. Suspect. I got to tell my wife, and I don't know how to tell her. Well, we'll find it today. Someone will clip this. Text her right now and say, watch the yak.

No, we'll bring it up every five minutes. We'll bring it up. I'm going to text her, but I don't know. know I'm scared just text her a picture of your naked hand alright FaceTime her and I'll be like can I talk to Tommy and then when I'm talking to Tommy on FaceTime I'll be like hey your dad lost his ring

what should he do and she'll hear it wait is that why Joey isn't a fan of you because you don't have a ring can we see the wife here it is uh also everyone crying about this can go cry about it in their wife's throw pills which they like which they likely don't have i think that's a oh i read it different i read it different i read it as him making fun of people for not having throw pillows not for not having a wife oh i think it was a wife shame.

Oh, no, no. I thought it was pillow shaming. Hold back up. There's no overlap between people that have throw pillows and people that have wives, so it just works. He's untouchable with his tweets. So it's both? Everyone crying about this is going to cry about it in their wife's throw pillows, which they likely don't have. You see, I think that's a wife shame.

Yeah. I think it's like, bro, you don't have a wife., I think that's a wife shame. Yeah. I think it's like, bro, you don't have a wife. I did read it as a pillow shame at first. No, I think it's... Are throw pillows a status? Like, look how many pillows this guy has? Well, everyone knows. I bet you have hundreds of pillows.

What exactly is a throw pillow? It's a pillow you don't lose. I think you just throw it off to the side when you're trying to sit there. A couch? No, couch pillows are used. No, throw pillows are accessory pillows on the bed. Throw pillows. You don't have any. How many pillows pillows you take off before you go to bed?

Zero. When you go to a hotel and there's like 75 pillows on the thing and you throw them. Yes, I have zero. I have zero of those. So you got bodied by that tweet? Yeah, I guess I did. No throw, okay.

Well, no, no. I think it was referring to wife. I think that he's saying that people don't have wives. Right. I think that he was shaming people who are un-wife. He said the people who are mad are crybabies and that he's saying that people don't have wives. Right. I think that he was shaming people who are un-wifed. He said the people who are mad are crybabies, and they're also losers because they don't have wives. They just have girlfriends where they fuck a lot of random people.

Yeah, they have like one-night stands. That's a wifeless-ass dude. Is Coach O married? No, don't think so. He's running through blonde girls. But does he have throw pillows? Yes. Oh, man. Is that proven? Yeah. I don't think so. He's running through blonde girls. But does he have throw pillows? Yes. Oh, man.

Is that proven? Yeah. I don't know what. So I like Joey, but that was a very odd, strange of events on Saturday. You think Bruce was involved? We're going to chop it up to some sauce. There's the text. But he said he let it build up.

I kept chirping, chirping. He let it build up, and he got actually mad instead of online mad. And he was really pissed off, and it just all came out at once. Got it build up. I kept chirping, chirping. He let it build up, and he got actually mad instead of online mad, and he was really pissed off, and it just all came out at once. Got it. Yeah. That's actually – I'm okay with that. But here's the thing. It's easier to do that when we don't work together in person.

Yeah, always. If we work together, like any of us – You would have shoved his ass. Y'all started digging at me. Whatever. I know how to take that. But if somebody that doesn't work here starts digging at me, it's a different level and it feels different.

It feels different. Also, let's be honest. I mean, Joey, on the Brandon Walker totem pole, where does he rank? I like Joey. In terms of importance to this company. I don't have a totem pole. Yeah, you have a chart that you pull up every night. I have a chart.

It's laminated. What do you mean you don't have a chart? It's like a draft board. It's just he's just putting- Color coded. You should like a draft board. It's just he's just putting- Color coded. You should release your big board. So you're saying I have like a top this, top eight, and then right below that I go after. Correct.

It says respect and do not respect. No, Joey's in the respect list. It's binary. I like Joey. He's a little blonde boy though, so- He is, yeah. I feel like you shouldn't get real life mad over internet things. See, I think though-

Or most things in general. I'll defend Joey in this. If you just spend enough time online, you're bound to at some point get real life mad. Correct, yeah. It's just how you deal with it in the moment. And if you're drunk, it's probably not going to deal with it well. Was he drunk though? Is that confirmed?

I think he was. He went to a game that morning. He didn't say he was drunk, but you can put two and two together. It feels like he might have had a couple. The dumbass misspelling. So I'm going to defend him in the fact that getting real life mad on the internet is impossible if you are on the internet all the time. Right?

Yeah. Saying inbred from Mississippi, though. That was a low blow. It's moron from Mississippi. Well, no. I don't really like you either. But that rings. It sings a little bit.

It does sing. And that makes you push. The alliteration? I don't really like that a lot. And you push. I'm not a big fan of moron. You like to push when that happens. Or sings a little bit. It does sing. I don't. And that makes you push. Deliteration. I don't really like that a lot. And you push. Not a big fan of Moron. You like to push when that happens. Or in Bradford.

Because Moron used to be like a psychological determination of someone whose IQ was like between 80 and 90, right? It was like idiot, moron. Why are you asking him? Isn't that right, Brandon? That's right. I'm sure your people were told. Oh, you don't know the history of the word moron?

Brandon, how are you going to know you're left from right now that you don't have your wedding ring on? It was never a wedding ring. It was just his left hand ring. I actually love that you guys were going back and forth, though. It just was very entertaining. It was so entertaining. I wanted to keep going. So I'm defending Joey in the fact going back and forth, though. It just was very entertaining. It was so entertaining. I wanted to keep going. So I'm defending Joey in the fact that I understand someone getting mad,

but Brandon never did anything wrong. Like he was – Brandon was right all along. I did not enjoy it at all. I was like super – it made me very uncomfortable for some reason. Oh, we were sitting next to Brandon, so it was very funny. Yeah, I was like, this is super weird. Brandon did nothing wrong. He did ask me.

He said, are you with Dave? I said, yeah, I'm on stream. He said tight. Well, he also gave Owen a tight. Oh, he gave us LOL tight. That's his word. Wait, Owen, you're the one who did that? But I'm starting to think he doesn't mean it. Tight? I didn't think that was tight. Should we call him back up and just ask him

solely about the ratio? No. Forget the Brandon fight. What do you think about this fucking ratio, bro? Do you think that we need to find a way for people who are out of the office to feel less distant because I think Brandon's point is legitimate like people who aren't in the office

of Barstool feel like they're like outsiders or right yeah he should actually break up the clickiness it doesn't feel playful for to an outsider if I were Joey I would come to the office like in a couple weeks to just get in the mix. I might text him and tell him that. Yeah, hop on.

Sydney's here today. Sydney's here today. We have a new hire here today. The girl that we thought was another girl. We thought she was Kat Stickler. That's a real explanation. Wait, how do you remember Kat Stickler's name so good? That's what I asked him.

I said, how do you know this? We just talked about it the other day. Yeah, but you were the one that was like, I think that's Kat Stickler. No. I said, I think that's that girl from the TikTok couple, and Owen said it was Kat Stickler. Owen said that girl's name is Kat Stickler. How do you even know about the TikTok couple, though? That's what I said.

I literally just saw it for the first time last week. Like on Twitter? There was a story on Twitter saying adorable TikTok couple is actually divorced. And I clicked on it and it showed one of their TikToks. And so I knew who Kath Sickler was. And they're just pretending to be. No, I think all their videos were before they got divorced. Oh, God.

And they have an adorable baby and all that. Oh, no. How did they not make it? Just didn't make it. It's tough out there for the TikTok couples of the world. Damn. Wifeless dude cry nowhere to cry that got che good che was dying at home being wifeless we gotta start clowning wifeless guys yeah you gotta be home every every night at a certain time

fucking people snatching up wives just because it's hot to do brandon did the conversation end Leo DiCaprio. You got to be home every night at a certain time? Fucking. People snatching up wives just because it's hot to do. Brandon, did the conversation end after he said, fuck you, dude, I'm out? No. Or did it continue? It continued. Oh, wait. I didn't put any of the rest of it out.

Why? Well, do it now. Because it got more personal. Well, the. He was like, I'm going to slit your fucking throat. Yeah. I'm going to find you. I'm going to cut you like a pig. I'm going to find you.

I'm going to dice you up into a thousand pieces. Yeah. I'll burn your house down. Yeah. I'm going to find you. I'm going to cut you like a pig. I'm going to find you. I'm going to dice you up into a thousand pieces. I'll burn your house down. Yeah. While you're sleeping. Yeah. Zah, what are you doing? Zah's over there slicing. I'm going to slash you.

Dice you. Yeah, yeah. Zah's running into it. Don't answer the call. Piss. He was doing choreography to everything Zah said. Yeah. Zah's ready to do it. he was doing choreography to everything sass said he just sent a video of like his best jeffrey dahmer impression so i was 50 50 should i have tweeted the text out but just say i should have tweeted the text out i'll drop your fucking dumb ass dude yeah i, you kind of have to go harder. Yeah, I got to tweet that.

You got to fight him. I just love the fact that he corrected the misspelling. Joe Man. But afterward, we talk more, and we're good now. We're all good. Did you escalate it after he escalated it? No, I never escalated it. You played it cool.

Are you on pussy mode right now? I'm not on pussy mode. I'm just on, like, whatever mode. It wasn't really a beef for me. I've seen you on pussy mode before. I've seen you on pussy mode. None of you have ever seen me on pussy mode right now? I'm not on pussy mode. I'm just on whatever mode. It wasn't really a beef for me. I've seen you on pussy mode before. I've seen you on pussy mode. None of you have ever seen me on pussy mode. I've never been on pussy mode.

You're always on PM. It's always PM on your clock. What about when the doctor prescribes you water? That's just a... What? No, that's not pussy mode. Kind of. That's a legitimate affliction.

You went to the emergency room for water. So you're on whatever mode? Are you weeded right now? What are you, weeded? Are you off the weed? I'm just on, hey, I don't bother anybody mode. That's not a mode. Brandon Walker doesn't bother anybody.

That's pussy mode. That's not pussy mode. So just tell us what the rest of the conversation was. I really don't even remember. Just spark notes. You can just look it up on your iPhone. You gotta look at it. Cliff notes. You're not an inbred anymore. You aged out of it. You can age out of inbred. really don't even just spark notes well i gotta look at your iphone you gotta look at it um

you're not an inbred anymore you aged out of it you can age out of inbred so your high school pig you had the job of mccoy yeah uh let's see all right i was just saying hey it's not it's not real it's not that let's go ahead and put this to bed he said you've been at it for a week and a half. Eventually, I was going to snap. And I said, oh, that's on you. And then, LOL, fuck this. Just don't want to do anything. Just lashed out.

I'm out. And that's the last time I heard from him until today. So it wasn't much. All right. So we're good now. We talked through it. We're good. We're all good.

I'm out is a funny thing to say, too, on the internet. Well, the thing is, anytime somebody says, I'm out, they're never out. Exactly. Where are you going? What do you mean you're out? He said, I'm out, and he never texted again. I respect that. He was out.

And he stopped tweeting for the rest of the weekend, so I really respect that. I respect that. That's actually the way he didn't handle it the best on Saturday, but then he handled it really well the rest of the week. He literally got out. Yeah. He was like, I'm taking a break. Logged out and looked at the silver lining. Admirable. He has a wife.

Throw pillows. He threw his phone across the room. Luckily, it hit a pillow. He did say on the last show that he got so mad once he threw his phone across the room. At what? I don't know. On Saturday? Yeah.

Damn. I think that you could just get called out for liking more than one team, and it's just funny, and it's not that deep. Yeah. Well, and it's also like you can – I mean, he – I wanted LSU to win the championship, but I would never talk shit on behalf of LSU. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I think that's where it's – then you kind of open yourself up. I wouldn't be like, oh, LSU beat – like I don't – LSU winning or losing doesn't actually affect my life. But also like Hubs, for example, is a fan of the Packers and the Yankees. And like when Jared gets at them for that, it's not like – like they have a – Those are arguably different sports. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. arguably different sports uh yeah yeah you're right you're right you're right okay yeah you're right i get shit all the time because i uh because like i'm

a blue demon obviously from depaul but i'm also a lion from penn state that's true people don't like that i'm that i essentially graduated from both i repped up with you and pepperdine yeah always have they have 360 views of the pacific ocean how could i not rep that it's beautiful I rep WVU and Pepperdine. Yeah. Always have. They have 360 views of the Pacific Ocean. How could I not rep that? It's beautiful. How the fuck are they on an isthmus? I don't know, but they advertise that. I know.

That's like their biggest selling point. So are they on an island? Beats me. So I think he was right with an isthmus. They're on an isthmus? It's got to be an isthmus. An isthmus? Because it's not an island.

Because otherwise you would have... Can we pull up a Pepperdine 360 view? Pepperdine campus. Prepare to have your breath dude. It's incredible. Prepare to have your breath taken. That's why I rep them. Yeah. It's not real life.

There's two campuses I've been to in my life, Arizona State and Pepperdine, where I was like, this is – you're not going to college. You're just going to like a vacation. But Pepperdine, isn't it like really religious? They can't even like party. Yeah, it's a dry campus. Dry campus. Did Daniela go to Pepperdine?

That's that Zoey 101 shit. Daniela. That's where they filmed it. You know, it's Malib campus Dry campus Did Daniela go to Pepperdine That's that Zoe 101 shit Daniela That's where they filmed it You know it's Malibu It's the boo Malibu It's the boo Yeah it's the boo

I had no idea it was the boo No it's on the cliffs of the boo It's the boo yeah Yeah okay It's incredible Look at that There's Pepperdine You obviously don't have a boo

But this doesn't look like 360 You're looking at mountains the other way It's the boo That's not 360 It's gonna be Oh wow Wow Is that a bluff Is that on a bluff you're looking at mountains the other way. That's not 360. Oh, wow. Is that a bluff?

Is that on a bluff? Wow. Now can you show us West Lafayette, Indiana? That's why I'm proud. This is where the anger comes from. The blue waves? I'm proud to be a blue wave, baby. Is that right?

I think they're the blue waves. Do you need to add blue to that? Not the blue. Yeah, they are, aren't they? Tulane's the green waves. What are they? Pepperdine. Are they the waves?

Waves? They're not the blue waves. It's Willie the wave. That would just be a wave. I think they're the blue waves. I don't think they're the blue waves. They're just the waves. I think they're the blue waves.

He just said it's just the waves. I just looked it up. Yeah, blue wave is redundant. It's just a wave. It think they're the blue waves. He just said it's just the waves. I just looked it up. Yeah, blue wave is redundant. It is the wave. It's the blue waves. Fuck. You only have to clarify. This is pre-workout. I'm tingly and itchy.

Yeah, I was going to say you're going to get in the water. Do some body squats, bro. Do some body squats. Do some body squats. I already went hard. I went super duper dummy in the dumbbell dungeon. This Don. Dot, dot.

Dot, dot. Dot, dot. Do some box jumps. Dot, dot, dot. Just say your ellipses. Hit one box jump for us. No. You're not explosive.

Yeah, that shit makes you tingle big time. Box jumps? No, especially the C4 in a can. I'm not doing this anymore. Shit gets me feeling right. It's a big can. Damn, you put it a whole inch away from yourself. Did you drink the whole thing?

No, barely any. Tell me you didn't drink the whole thing. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's empty. Friday, you guys missed Jersey Jerry. I know. I watched it.

We'll be rich if we want to ever mug him. Yeah, he carries around. He had like $2,700 on him. He is here today as well. $2,710. 10 also kind of awkward when kb said that he was sober and jerry's like yeah i'm i'm six years sober and if you ever want to go to a meeting it's like i'm five weeks yeah and it's kind of a bit what would i say yeah i am you are are you gonna stick with it yes Fuck yeah. I didn't realize.

So is this a shit? When you said it, I was like, yeah. He was in recovery mode. I knew you were walking right into that. Oh, yeah. You're like a sober hobbyist. It's like your model plane. You should ask Jersey Jerry if his recovery is a bit or a shtick.

Fucking anus boys with your bits. No, Jersey Jerry's very funny He's phenomenal Very very funny Yeah he seemed funny I watched the I watched the The way that he was just

Giggling at Like he was shocked As anyone At how much money He was in I don't know 15 I don't know

And then we got to like 2700 He was like 2600 Is that Is that what he sounded like to you No no We also

We also had a hostile takeover on Thursday. Yeah. I wasn't here. What do you mean? You had the trial? No, he just walked in. He walked in. I was like, Roan's not here.

Dan told him straight up, like, nah, Roan's not here. We can't do it. And he's like, well, it's been four weeks. And he just sat down. He was pretty good, though. He was mellow as hell. He was. We kept him.

I have a new thing with him. I do a countdown. So if he starts ranting, I give him a few seconds, and then he actually just stops because he knows. Tell him to empty the clip. Yeah, just like, go, do it. Yeah, right, and then we move on. I'm sure everyone loved it.

I was asked if we could have used you for JR. Yeah, I saw he was in. He didn't really let me know or anything, though. And then we move on. I'm sure everyone loved it. I was asked if we could have used you for JR. Yeah, I saw who he was in. He didn't really let me know or anything, though. Who? Josh. Oh, yeah. Thought he would at least hit me up, told me he was going to be in the office. He got bodied, though, by Jerry.

He got bodied. Small little chain. Yeah, I saw. Dinky little piece. Jerry put his mind in a pretzel by not knowing what metabolism is. Yeah. Not that he didn't know. He was like, what's that? Yeah.

Jerry knew. He just wanted the explanation. What's your definition of metabolism? Everybody has different definitions of it. It's like faith. Depends on what part of the country you're from. It's like art or faith. What's metabolism mean to you? Essentially what he did.

Oh, you got that metabolism stuff? Without saying as much. It's like a college essay. Josh wouldn't know that. He never went. Never went. Sad. Did you guys do any videos with him or anything? No.

Oh, no. No, just besides Jersey Jerry emasculating. What was he doing here? He was doing a pizza review. I thought the boss man wasn't in. He was not in. So Jay Rich was just roaming the halls? Yeah, he. I thought the boss man wasn't in. He was not in. So Jay Rich was just roaming the halls. He kind of was the boss man.

Yeah, he's seconding commands. Yeah, Brandon moved him up on the depth chart for those 30 minutes. That's nice of you. You respect Josh, even though he's a little blonde boy? While he was on the show. Was Gru in here? Nah. No, he's getting ready to have surgery.

He already had surgery for his hand. Come on, dude. Yeah, I know. He punched a wall. He's got multiple for his hand. Come on, dude. Yeah, I know. He punched a wall. He's got multiple surgeries coming up. Punched a wall because he didn't have throw pillows. That's true. If he had throw pillows, he wouldn't have had to punch that wall.

Damn, he must have been pissed. I wonder what would have got him so pissed. I heard he got kicked off Raya. He did. He did. Oh, because he's not hot enough? No, because... Is that weird?

Why do... I don't get why guys would want that. Is he from the U.S.? Yes. He needs a lot to get pissed then. He's a red-blooded American.

He can get pissed. Happens. Onward. I know that Joey was making fun of people not having wives. I really wanted to be making fun of people

not having throw pillows. I want him to view throw pillows as a status symbol or something. It kind of is. Some people don't throw pillows. I want him to view throw pillows as a status symbol or something. Some people don't have wives. Some of the coolest people. Having a lot of throw pillows is kind of like a status thing. Imagine walking to

somebody's house and the guy's just got hundreds of pillows. That's a fun place. When a good Christian boy dies, he goes to heaven and gets 87 throw pillows. That's right. Fuck. Fuck.

All right, what else we got? Oh, Zah, what is Fat Bear Week this week? So Fat Bear Week is pretty much the bears are about to go into hibernation, so they all come out and they feed on the last bit of salmon for the season before they go into hibernation. So it's at Kitmai National Park. Is that in Alaska? Is this a bracket? So they come out and, yeah.

Wait. What is the bracket of? How do we know? Best bears? How do we know when the week is? It's this week. Yeah, but How do we know when the week is? It's this week. Yeah, but how do we know when the week is? It literally says right there the dates, Brandon.

Oh, I see. So when they all emerge together, that's when we say it's a week before they go back in. Okay. They get the pictures of them before the summer. Oh, there's Chunk. Before the summer started. Oh, there's a slider. Before the summer started.

Oh, give us a slider. Give us a slider. This is incredible. Left is skinny. Left was on the 11th of July and then the right is on the 13th of September. Alright, so give us a slide. We should vote which direction. I don't think that works.

I think it's just a separator. No. It's not just a separator. There's got to of snow on the ground for July. I think it's just a separator. No. No, it's not just a separator. There's got to be a slider. There's got to be a slider. Come on. Can you do one with my face? He's clicking.

He's clicking. Oh! Holy shit. Holy shit. Look at that. That's a fat bear. Wait. All the way.

Okay, all right. Okay. Okay, all right. Chubby, chubby, chubby. Still a thick bear. All right. That one's... Look at the coat, though. Beautiful coat.

Beautiful coat. What's that, Purina? This one is going to be shocking. Slide left first. Slide left. Go grazer? Yeah, go grazer. Oh, that's a...

Oh, my God. He's fat as fuck. Big boy. Oh, what? Look at that. It's a different fuck. Big boy. Oh, what? Look at that. It's a different animal. If he's fatter, he's just wet. Look at that snout.

Whoa. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. What kind of bear is that? Fat. That is a fat bear. That's a brown bear. That's a grizzly.

That's a grizzly. Large adult female. Oh, damn. Oh, it's a grizzly, I think. Okay. Never ask how much she weighs. All right. Whoa. Large adult female. Oh, damn. Oh, it's a grizzly, I think. Okay. Never ask Chica how much she weighs. All right.

Whoa. I think we should say skinny first. That doesn't even look like a bear. It looks like a... Oh, that's a bear. Yeah, that's pretty skinny. That looks like a beautiful dog. All right, do skinny first. Do skinny first.

Let's see skinny. Oh, this one's going to be... Oh. That's a baby. That's a baby. That's going to be a big boy. Oh. Gross. Oh, my goodness. That's a bear. That's going to be a big boy. Oh! Gross!

That's a round ass bear. Sloppy ass bitch! Oh, that's disgusting. I wouldn't fuck that bear. He's hulking. That's a great bear. That's the prototype. His lineage is on the California. Wow!

He knows. Look. Bussy. He knows. Look back at it. That was a good bear. Put a black shirt on that bear. All right. That's a good looking bear. Yeah.

Not a bad bear at all. Okay. Okay. I like his fur too, big cat. Wow. That's pear shaped. That's wow. That's the odalisque pose. Dude, can you be too fat?

That's Rubenesque. Wait, this one. That's Gruen. Oh, no. Okay. All right. All right. No, no, be too fat? That's Rubenesque. Wait, this one. That's Gruen. Oh, no. Okay. No, no, no. I didn't say it. I didn't say it.

You got kicked off Ryan. I didn't say it. Oh, my God. Wow. Look at the shoulder. Oh, my God. That's a bad looking bear. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. If I saw that, I'd be like, oh, that's a sickly bear. That's a baby moose. And now look at that That's You guys want to see all of them Yeah Of course we want to see all of them

Why are they so skinny Why is that one like so skinny Hibernating They just came out Oh so that's right after hibernation Yeah How many more do we have I think there's

The whole bracket So 32 I believe Alright let's keep Pounding through These motherfuckers Just been eating all summer We should have been Keeping tabs with our Classic good bear He's not even fat He got like swole All right, let's keep powering through. These motherfuckers have just been eating all summer. We should have been keeping tabs with our classic good bear.

He's not even fat. He got, like, swole. I'm just going to say right now, Zaha, I'm a little upset at you. Like, next year, next Fat Bear Week, it leads the show. No problem. Even if Brandon fights another co-worker. You were sitting on this? You know what the funny thing is? I actually wasn't going to bring it up.

Oh, my God. I saw it. I sent Che a text like five minutes before. Well, not five. Like an hour before we started. I was like, hey, are you interested in that? Big Cat, can we do a slider for you when you're cutting weight for the skydive? I was going to say, there's a lot of pictures that you could make Fat Bear Week for me.

How are these bears all posing perfectly? Yeah. They're on a photo shoot. That's a great picture. That's the best picture of a bear I've ever seen. That's the best bear picture. You guys ever seen a bear in real life?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like out in the wild? Yeah. Where? Where the fuck are you guys doing? I saw one in Jersey.

They're all over Jersey. I saw one in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I've never seen a bear. That's scary. That's a cataronda. Wait, is Pat? What type of country should I use that?

It was a black bear. Those are essentially, they're dogs. Pat's not a bear, right? No. What is he? No, he's a seal? He's a chicken hawk. A chicken hawk?? No. What is he? No, he's a seal. He's a chicken hawk.

A chicken hawk. Is he a chicken hawk? No, he's a mother. He's a mother hen. That guy he did the photo shoot with, he was a bear. Yes. I've met him.

Who's the photo? Oh, yeah, that guy is a bear. Prototypical. Yeah, I've met him. I've met him. So, yeah, I have seen a bear. Pat's kind of a griffin. Yeah.

You should have Pat come in and judge these bears. So, who are our best bears? I like the Cub. The second bear was a good bear. The Cub's cheating because the Cub was... How does one beat the other? Can we fill out a back?

I think the weight difference, I'm guessing. How do they weigh them? Or maybe it's physical look. By inspection, you say that like it's the... They just get them on scale? Oh, they get some guy from a carnival who just looks at them and he's like, all right. Like a pie-eating contest judge? Do they get anything if they win?

I think more salmon, right? How quickly do they gain this weight? And is it just salmon? July to now. Three months. They find the salmon themselves? They just eat them out of the water? Yeah.

This probably isn't a laughing matter of salmon. Tomorrow's the last day of voting, so anyone that's interested. Fat Bear Week. Fat Bear Week. Wow. Did you vote, Zai? Yeah, this morning. Can we scroll through one more time and see who?

Chunk? No, it's got to be. Can you scroll through one more time and just see with all the fatties and just see who? Chunk is terrible. Chunk doesn't make it out of the first round. So we're just doing fatties? Yeah, no, it's the biggest transformation.

I like this one. Yeah, Glazer. No, this is a no. This is a no. No, that's a raccoon. I thought it got stronger by the best one. That's not even a bear.

Yeah, he looks like a capoeira. That's a good one. Yeah, he does. This is a good one. That's a foul one. This Walker. Massive.

Who is that? Wow. Oh, the Walker was never skinny. Not a crazy transformation. Well, yeah, Walker's good. That's fat. Okay, that's pretty good. Massive. Who is that? Wow. Oh, but Walker was never skinny. Not a crazy transformation. No, Walker was muscular. Yeah, Walker's good. That's fat.

Okay, that's pretty good. 402. Eh. After Walker's. This one's impressive. That's fat. Holly. Oh, what a transformation.

Very impressive. That might not be the same bear. But that's the angle, too, is different. Is it bad for their joints to gain all this weight? Well, I think they're built for it. No, it's a good question, though. It's like Zion Williamson losing his balance. I mean, Otis was sickly. It's like when there was those dolphins in the East River and someone, or the whale.

That's a good-looking bear. It's way too cold for this whale. Oh, my God. Kirstie Alley. That's another good-looking bear. Oh, that's a great-looking bear. Popeye bear Popeye Popeye would fuck you up

That is a fat bear Look at that Look at his belly on the water That's still a fat bear Alright everyone vote in the comments How fast do bears run? Isn't it like 40 miles per hour? Yeah

I think it's 50 Maybe 50 to 60 70 Well it's July. It might be 50 to 60. Yeah, 70. Well, it's July 70. Yeah. In October 50. Yeah, it's like 35. Oh, okay.

Average it out. Polar Bear's 25. Fat Bear Week. Holy shit. Wow. Get your votes in. We should really just... Should we rig it for one of the bears?

Should we let's rig it? No, we should just do this ourselves. We should just do a bulking month on this show and call it Fat Bear Month. How great would that be? I would love to see a bear in real life. It's just all fucking 15 pounds heavier.

I don't think I would ever recover though. I think if I put on 15, I'm never getting it off. I'm stuck forever. Yeah, exactly. I don't have a hibernation period. Seeing a I'm never getting it off. I'm stuck forever. Yeah, exactly. I don't have a hibernation period. Seeing a bear though, Sass, they're very docile. Unless you like walk up

What? I saw the revenant. Unless you walk up on them and like scare them or threaten them they're just going to sit there. Or run away from you. Walk up on them

and you're like you can't root for two teams. Pick one. Then they'll fuck you up. This bear's got a metabolism. What? By the way, that reminds me, the bracket. Jerry does have, he told me before he got hired,

that he has a Feet the Streets bracket. User submitted. Oh, yeah. 16 team. Feet? Feet the Streets? Yeah. What's that a play on?

It's... Feet the Streets. Feet the Streets. Okay's that a play on? Beat the streets. Beat the streets. Okay. It's a foot fetish bracket. Yeah, so he has women submit their feet pictures. Oh, he's like that? Yeah.

He gets down like that? Yeah, he said that now that he's at Barstool, he's thinking he can make it a 64 team bracket. Whoa. Jerry gives the winner a $250 Amazon gift card and a free mani-pedi anywhere they want we need to have like smoke toes of the week or some shit on the blog

I just like the fact like there's this weird thing that goes on the internet now where people are like people are taking pictures of my feed or like looking through my Instagram like let's just have it out in the open Jerry should be our foot guy we need one he was trying to get Casey to submit of my feed or like looking through my Instagram like let's just have it out in the open Jerry should be our foot guy he should be

we need one yeah he was trying to get Casey to submit oh yeah he told her she'd be like a 7 or 8 seed

really yeah well he's you know he can't promise her a top seed yeah the thing about Jerry is he's honest right he's not gonna just promise you the world

and if you're the commissioner of the league you have to be honest do foot guys just like like looking at feet or do they like extrapolate to vagina? No, I think that they're like,

her feet look like that. Imagine what her vagina looks like. Oh, really? I think they do. Why wouldn't they just ask to see vaginas then? He's got the power of the internet behind him. Vagina week would do numbers. Yeah. An isolated vagina isn't... That's true. It's not as nice as an isolated foot.

Pussy lips week? Yeah, I guess you're right. Damp lips. Wait, when's the nut off? October 29th. Pull up the James Brown tweet. Oh, is he talking damp lips? Damp lips is I think the website that he found it on. Damp lips is the least

appealing set of words I've ever heard. Damp lips. Damp lips. I never even.... Damp lips. Yeah. Oh, what? I never even... Damp ass lips. Who am I thinking of that had a famously sweaty upper lip? I'm thinking of like a Rudy Giuliani fucking damp lip. Just a sweaty ass man's damp lip.

You might have to find it as a picture, not an actual tweet because he deleted it. Yeah, it looks like deleted. Is there a way to find that? Yeah. You just got to find it as a picture, not an actual tweet because he deleted it. Yeah, it looks like deleted, so we're going to find that. Yeah, you just got to find it as a picture. If you do image shirts on Google, I can't get over Fat Bear Week. But more people should be able to come to the light with their foot fetishes. Anybody involved with the porn world should be able to come to light because I feel like a lot of people are just working on things, like creating sites like Damp Lips and not saying anything.

Like, who made the domain name Damp Lips like who made the domain sucking and fucking her personal traders like whose website is that there's like a bunch of people working on that website i'll tell you what a genius yeah because i'll never forget damp lips i can't believe you even brought it up right there you just have a steel trap of a memory for internet shit. We had a day where we read Damp Lips description. Oh yeah, that's right. We've been on Damp Lips.

You guys have? They do a blog for each porn. We've been a whole thing on Damp Lips. Yes. DampLips.com. We tweeted links from the yak. That's right. That's right.

We took the site down. Damp Lips, they couldn't handle the load. They couldn't handle the load. Those balls are tough. took the site down. Damp Lips, they couldn't handle the load. They couldn't handle the load. It's one guy who owns Damp Lips. It has to be. God damn it. People probably think he's more of a pervert than he is.

All he is is serving the community. He's just letting people jerk off. And it's nice that he gets right to the point. Like, what turns me on? Damp lips. People should support harmless kinks. Yes. That's what I'm saying.

Jerry is a perfect example of, like, he's completely harmless. He's actually giving away a prize. Yeah, but are you afraid to wear open-toed shoes around him? No. Are we asking for it if we're wearing thong sandals? I don't want Jerry's tournament to really take off because as it is now he has a small enough pool

where he's got good feet and bad feet and you see legitimate competition It's like season 8 of American Idol. He doesn't want to see He needs William Hung in there still. You don't want to see the 16 seats feet. They're bad feet. But now with his platform he's going to get so many submissions, all 64 feet are going

to be great feet. Right. I think that's good. That's his goal. There need to be Cinderella's. There need to be. I mean, Harvard needs to make the NCAA tournament. Yeah, no, you're okay.

All right. Well, UMBC wasn't a bad team. Yeah. You get one. If you make it, you're all right. So, this would be like maybe bad legs with good feet? Or an ugly woman with good feet? The best feet in their community.

Maybe that's how you do it is like the best feet from West Virginia. You've got to submit like best of each state. A geotag your feet. Yeah, the best feet from L.A. are going to be a one seat. You have to submit pictures standing on today's newspaper. Local newspaper. I'm into it though it's just it's tough I guess

for the people who feel as if their feet are being jerked off to without their consent sure no one is actually offended by that yeah I'd agree with that

what about now that feet are having this moment what about the great feet of history like 70 years ago there were just women walking around with great feet

that never saw the light of day yeah what about the other side of it? What about the guys who had to suppress their love for feet for a long, long time? And now they were just born at the wrong time. This is the time that you want to be born if you're a foot fetish guy. It's the golden age for feet. I think foot fetish guys became sculptors back then.

Yeah. That's true. Just make some realistic looking lace in a foot. Yeah. A cobbler. Do people still become sculptors back then. Yeah, that's true. Just make some realistic looking lace and a foot. Yeah. A cobbler. Do people still become sculptors? Yes. Is sculpting a big thing now?

Sculpting is the wackest art, though. I never go to a museum and I'm like, oh my God, the sculptures. No way. Sculptors are better than pottery, dude. Pottery isn't even art. Pottery is dishes. You're making wares. Yeah, you're making Ikea shit.

Your mentions are about to be filled with potters, bro. Sculptures, they just make you stand in a garden. Yeah. You get to go outside. And you can only have so many, like too many sculptures. It's like, what the fuck are they doing here? Some dude with a little tiny dick and sick abs. I'll say it.

Rodan was a bitch. Oh. Yeah, I knew you were going to say that. Think about that. Yeah, I figured. Wow. You've been pussyfooting around it. Think on that Rodan

You're a bitch Can we get Rodan to call in? Yeah we can Not too busy chiseling Huge listener The Rodan Museum I'm about to TP that shit It's in Philly

On Mischief Night I might fuck around and TP the Rodan Museum I'm gonna stage a march on Rodan Wouldn't TP on a tree become sculpture? Fuck Someone just gifted me a sculpture Harvey Updike stage a march on Rodin. Wouldn't TP on a tree become sculpture? Fuck. Someone just gifted me a sculpture. Harvey Updike. Yeah. R.I.P.

R.I.P. Wait, who was Harvey Updike? The guy who poisoned the trees. Oh, he poisoned them trees! They put a scam New Jersey on Bear Bryant. What was going through your head during that whole thing? Were you like, man, the SEC rules. No, it's like,

makes sense. I mean, I'm surprised it hasn't happened before. I'm surprised it's only happened during that rivalry. Did he have tree poison? Yeah. Yeah. Did they make that? He bought some nuke poison. Yeah, they tried to save the trees and they couldn't. They tried to give it like... There's poison for everything. Surgery. It is. Yeah. But is it like a

coverall? Is it like there's one just poison for- No, no, no. This was specifically tree poison. Arsenics and hemlocks. I'm surprised that you guys haven't done that for the grove. I've thought about it. You should poison all the grass at the grove. He's actually my hero.

Really? How are we up to? Yes. It's just the grass is so thin, it would be hard to have it spread. Trees are such concentrated roots. What was that? Uh-oh. It's a big COVID vaccine.

Oh, yeah. It's a vaccine sign. Uh-oh. What is this? Get the fuck out. Oh, boy. Get your Bibles, boys. Let's beat the shit out of this guy with Bibles. Our security guy is just watching this happen. Sas, go up and ask him

if he found God. Go ask him. Who was that? Is that a Jesus thing? I think that's just a COVID... No, no, no, but Sass... This guy was just lamping out front. Is he with the guy who's lamping out front trying to talk to people? Can you show us? Enrique!

Can you show us that? What's in that? It says COVID vaccine. Vaccine clinic. What is that? Are we vaccinating people here? The Barstool Gold members get a free vaccine. KB, go break that painting. I think I could. Go dive

through that. There it is. There's our QR code. And you Yak fans, take a picture of that QR code. Dogster Vax. Yeah. Oh, no. Wow.

We're going to have just so many people signing up. Nah, we ain't doing that shit, bro. You can't fucking do that. Wait, we're doing Vax here? Yeah, here. Brandon, you seem legitimately worried. No, I'm not worried. I'm already Vaxed.

And waxed. They're making us get it again. Yeah. Call me bullshit. Does it every day? Every day we're getting a new one. You got support down your throat. So there's a Fauci documentary, huh?

Yeah. There is? On Disney Plus. What? Is it really? Stephen Colbert? I heard it's a Pixar documentary. Yeah, it is.

And I heard he's going to be thick as fuck in it. A little short king? Dr. Fauci with a fat ass. Yeah, he's Mrs. Incredible's body. He's got a massive bulge. He's got Frozone's dick. You are jittery off this pre-workout. I feel you shaking right now.

Are you worried? I think you have to reset your sobriety. I've been working out like a maniac. What kind of workouts? Drop the routine. I have to stop myself. Drop the routine? No, I don't have any routine.

Someone who's into fitness needs to give me a good workout. Brandon, you're into fitness. I just go and I just bumble around the gym and do whatever. Oh, Brandon, remember that? No, no. That was a fun month. You wouldn't eat the hot dogs. That's not what Rowan's talking about.

Are you doing weight? Or are you just doing body weight? I'm doing weights. Yeah? Yeah, like today it was all dumbbells. Oh, yeah, you are. I'm trying to get a six-pack and lean muscle. I don't know what my diet should be.

Bro, come to these Pilates classes with me. That's the one thing I won't do. Why? How was Nashville? Go fuck around and pull some pussy, bro. When you get ripped, you're going to look like the kid who always has the Snapchat story, world's strongest boy. You're going to look just like him.

Maybe I'll set you up with a nice six-week plan. I don't know if I want to follow your plan. You will, trust me. He's going to sabotage you like in Mean Girls. You don't even know what his torso looks like. I don't know what your physique is. I'm jacked. That's all you need to know. Are you shredded? No, not at is. I'm jacked. That's all you need to know. Do you have, are you like shredded?

No, not at all. Feel him. Feel his body up. Just get a little poke. Grab the guns. Oh, yeah. He's got a nice. Mass.

He needs a mass. Firm. Just tell him to lay off the light beers, you know? So, Sass, if you're going to do the gym and build it all up, why do you keep it covered all the time? Fat Bear Week. Not for you. I dress for myself. You have a sweatshirt and pants on right now.

He's hiding his body. No one's ever seen his body. It's also just cold out today. No, it's not. It was like 65. I had immediate shorts of yeah. It's also just cold out today. No, it's not. It's actually not. It was like 65. I had immediate shorts of pants regret when I got here today.

You did? Yeah. Compared to Nashville. We only have so many shorts days we can possibly have. Me and Nick were never on shorts.

Never will. I wanted to wear shorts. I'm pumped to get back to like sweat, to like pants and sweatshirts. Maybe a jacket too. Yeah.

Dressing more. Yeah. Some sweater weather. Oh yeah. I already picked out my winter jacket. It Yeah, dressing more. Some sweater weather. I already picked out my winter jacket. It's in my cart. I'm excited. I need to get some new winter gear. Is it the reversible Charlotte Hornets starter?

Teal and purple? Damn it. Damn, I doxed it. You doxed my jacket. Nah, it's just olive green. I love green. Yeah. That's beautiful. Is it like a bomber? No. I love green. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thanks, bro.

Is it like a bomber? No. Table. You'll see. No, go ahead. On table. I saw you did karaoke this weekend. Whoa.

Bob Dylan. Yeah. Where was that at? Your balls are just getting much bigger. I think it's Rome. Is it being around him? No. I've wanted to do karaoke for a while, but it was fun.

It was like a pretty... The pressure wasn't very high there. Where was it? Nashville. Next week he's opening up at Madison Square. I didn't realize you guys were in Nashville all weekend. That's sick. Yeah, we were.

All weekend. We went on a busing with the boys. We met all the boys. There's a lot of them. A lot of boys. We had like 17 kids down there working for him. They have a deep,

they have the best, or they have, yeah, probably the best Yeah, probably the best studio at Barstool. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's very nice. It's in a bus, right?

Is it not in a bus? It's in a bus, but it's like really like A bus in a warehouse. Yeah. It's a beautifully decorated bus. Yeah.

Chicks in the Office have a good studio as well, but theirs is just, it's a very specific aesthetic. We're the only ones... This isn't hurting me, but my studio is a fucking dumpster. It's terrible. It's gross. Disgusting. I actually said, what about PMT?

And they said it's really messy. KFC's is terrible. KFC has a great aesthetic. It's a secret-ass room. I like ours. KFC's is? Yeah, I like ours. No one ever goes in there. I don't know what's going on in there ass room I like ours KFC's is? yours is good yeah I like ours it's black I don't know what's going on in there it's like Matt Lauer's office

Matt Lauer's Brandon Walker college football show presented by Brandon Walker yeah right here Brandon Walker's trying to take over this room

like a hermit crab during the day though he just sits in here he does just sit in here he thinks this is his office he like growls at people when they come by the door you sit in here. He thinks this is his office. He like growls at people when they come by the door. You sit in here from the time the act ends until your show starts.

Just like a hermit. A hermit crapped us. He did. You fucking. He's right. He's my shell now. This is the best room to be in in the office. You're just like growling.

People walk by and see you, but they think you're working. And that's what you want. And if you're at your desk, you don't. From two till six, you don't do shit except for growl at people and eat Chick-fil-A. That's exactly right. I eat my Chick-fil-A in here every day right after the yak. You order Chick-fil-A, and then a couple minutes later, you'll order Chick-fil-A again. Yes.

That is true. What leads the Brandon Walker College football show tonight? Probably the separation of Alabama and Georgia from the rest. Got it. That's bait, though. Maybe Oregon, Chokeman, Meyer. I don't know if Urban Meyer, that's not really a college football story. Well, he was wearing an Ohio State sweatshirt.

A new angle of the video came out. Oh, really? Yeah. Did we ID the girl yet? He's popping her butt. Yeah, he's popping her butt. Can I see it? Can we see it?

You'd like that, yeah. Urban Meyer, new angle. Urban Meyer, new angle. Urban Meyer, new angle. I didn't know the new angle dropped. It's like there's a Bruder film. I think he was kind of getting away with it, too, before the new angle. He was on a grassy knoll. I mean, his wife is down for it.

Yeah, yeah. You have to remember, Urban Meyer's wife got a text message from a woman being like, someone on your coaching staff, my my husband is like beating me. And she's like, well, we just got to win football games. So she's ride or die as it gets to a disturbing level. So I don't think this bothers her. I think she's like, I want Urban to get his groove back. Only deal breaker is the lake house.

Alternative angle. Yeah. Looky there. Oh, boy. Oh, Urban. Well, no, he did. No, no. Look at the beginning.

Look at the index extended. His finger is inside. I like Oh, boy. Oh. Urban. Well, no, he did. No, no, look at the beginning. Urban. Index extended. His finger is inside her. I like that, though. I'm telling you. Urban Meyer. Wait, what is the caption? What is the caption?

The girl posted it. Dude, the confidence. Oh, my God. The confidence that Urban Meyer will get from almost fucking. Someone got a video of Urban sticking his fingers up my ass. That's what he wasn't. I'm telling you, dude, this is going to be big for Urban. You can't feel ass through jeans.

You can't feel asshole through jeans. You can try. He did. But that's like a dog with a shock collar on running up to the fucking end of the fence. Like, you can't go anywhere. That move right there, if I brush up against her ass, she might turn around and be like, oh, you want this? You know what I mean?

It's like testing the waters. Yeah, right. It's like, oh, shoot, I was just adjusting over here, and I happened to put my finger up against your ass. She turns around, and she's like, oh, I didn't know you wanted that. You think Big Herb sealed the deal, or you think he was just getting flirtatious with the fingers? I honestly believe this

I think that Shelly Meyer was like Look you're a loser You're 0-4 You suck as a head coach Go get your confidence back Go almost fuck That is the most confidence boosting thing When you fuck it's humbling

Because you're wrong Fast and regret When you fuck, it's humbling because you like regret. I could have had that. When you almost fuck, no one is more amped than a guy who almost fucked. Exactly.

Thank you, KD. You tell everyone, I'm easy. Could have easily. You see that chick? Could have taken her down in a second. What if he put out

the video? Yes. I'm telling you, dude. I'm betting the Jacksonville Jaguars next weekend just because of this what if it was like a uh cable guy where like like someone sent her over to him or something like that someone from within the organization like all right let's get his confidence right let's send a little blonde girl over there it's it really is almost fucking is so

much better than fucking 100 so much better because you Because you can also play it out in your head being like, Yeah, you play it out and you always fuck. Yeah, I would have taken her back. I would have fucked like a stallion. I would have fucked in the shower. Yeah.

Three rounds, four rounds minimum. Yeah, morning. Fuck. She would have been fucking sucking me and everything. It would have been crazy. Yeah. And then you're just sitting there

while you're playing this you're in an Uber eating a slice of pizza and you're like, that was a wild night. It's awesome. Yeah, and you can convince your brain. It's like the same sensation of actually fucking.

Yes. Yeah. No, he jerked off to that later tonight. Sure. Yeah. He probably told his wife, too. He's like, I almost fucked tonight, baby. She's like, I'm happy for you, honey.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Now he has confidence. He's like, he is a loser right now. I'm happy for you, Irving. Yeah. She looked him in the eye and she's like, go out and find that winner that I married because you're being a pussy right now. Go almost fuck.

You're fucking our money up, Urban. Go fuck. Yeah. Almost fuck. Don't fuck. Just go almost fuck. Get to the edge. Go find a nice, hot, young, blonde, and almost fuck her.

Tell your boys, it was almost too easy. I didn't want that. Yeah. He's going up to his boys and it's like, smell my fingers. And it's just like, it was almost too easy. I didn't want that. Yeah. He's going up to his boys, and it's like, smell my fingers. And it's just like, denim. It's like a Levi's. It's like Lee. You know, I got my wife, so I respect her.

You can play off that, too, like the nice guy. Like, yeah, I could have fucked everyone in that bar. Could have. Didn't. Because he was like, he was with other people. They could have easily put, like put a little wall around him, like one of your boys who's peeing or something like that. They parted the seas so the camera person could see.

Thank you. Kept his wedding ring on, so it's not like he was trying to hide anything. He was out almost fucking... And there were multiple angles. Where was he? He was in a bar in Ohio. They played in Cincinnati on Thursday.

He went to see his grandkids. And on top of all of that, his wife tweeted out, like, I'm home with the grandkids. Shucking porn or some shit. Yeah, like, my choice. Buddy needs a night out. I'm telling you, this is exactly what happened. She looked him in the eye and said, go almost fuck and get your confidence back. And here we are.

They're going to come out and just win on Sunday. Jaguars plus four and a half is my... I'm close to making my game of my century. Game of the century. Game of the century? Game of the century. Or they're just like the Clintons and they just fucking hate each other. And it's just like an agreement.

They've killed a lot of people. Yeah, they've definitely killed. I can see that too. There's no doubt that they've killed. But seriously, you've got to just go... Yeah, look. Does this... Look. Meanwhile, I'm babysitting my choice mimi rules buddy deserved a night out telling you damn yeah

she's just she's cool didn't she like like a picture of like she was liking all the reply and again again just go back to shelly meyer is like when what what was the guy's name, Zach Smith? Smith, yeah. Zach Smith was abusive domestic violence to his wife, and he was coach on Urban's staff, and Zach Smith's wife texted Shelly Meyer and was like, hey, Urban's assistant coach is my husband, and he's like beating me up.

And she was like, we need to just win. Ryder died to a problematic level. Yes. I'm telling you, Urban, man. You guys want to get on a group bet? Jags plus four and a half? Group bet? A huge one?

That's a throw for all of us. It's a group bet? Yeah, let's group bet. No, let's all throw in the exact same amount and make it a lot of money. Let's go mug Jersey Cherry. Whatever Big Cat's normal bet is, let's all throw that amount in. Let's group bet. No, let's all throw in the exact same amount and make it a lot of money. Let's go mug Jersey Jerry. Whatever Big Cat's normal bet is, let's all throw that amount in. Let's group bet it. All right.

What do you bet? 50 bucks? Let's group bet it. Can we name it in the Barstool Sportsbook? Yes. Urban Meyer almost fucked. Urban Meyer denim finger bang parlay. The almost fucked.

The almost fucked. The almost fucked parlay. Yeah. Maybe we make it a shirt. Parlay The almost fucked The almost fucked The almost fucked parlay Yeah So Maybe we make it a shirt Almost fucking Greater than signed Fucking Yeah

People would wear that At plays It's true I always almost fuck After I get a haircut Oh What Yep

Almost always Guess where I get my haircut Sport clips Good guess Sass Haircuts shouldn't feel that relaxing But it does It's sport clips haircuts That's because stylists Guess where I get my haircut? Sport Clips. Good guess, Sass. Haircuts shouldn't feel that relaxing, but it does at Sport Clips Haircuts. That's because stylists just don't wash your hair. They use a seven-pressure-point massaging shampoo technique that is so relaxing, you melt in your seat.

The hot steam towel? Oh, yeah. It's infused with tea tree oil and perfectly steamed, leaving you feeling like you just left a Swedish sauna. To top it off, you get a pinpoint cut. Stop by Sport Clips today and ask for the MVP haircut experience. It's ridiculously relaxing. Sport Clips, the pros in men's hair. I wonder what that little blonde girl from Remember the Titans is up to now. Hayden?

Hayden Pan's here? No, the girl from the fictional universe of that movie. Oh, yeah. She's a divorcee. And it's cool, but she waitresses. And that's cool. In a diner. And that's cool.

That is cool. Sundays, she makes – she fucking cakes on Sundays, but it's busy. The coach's daughter. What in that fictional universe is she doing now? I don't know what she's doing. Oh, I think she works at the high school her dad still coaches at. That's the right answer. She has a good position too.

She's maybe the athletic secretary, but she runs everything. She gets all the busses. You can say secretary. No, that's actually bigoted. No, no, no, no. No! Nice try.

Try again? We're not cancel fucking secretary. No. Brandon. I give you some rights. Nice try. Try again? We're not canceling secretaries. Yes, we are. We've got to cancel you. No, no, no. You got me on the other word. Let me guess. You call them stewardesses on plights?

No. Secretary's done too? Yes. Yes. Assistant. What are you, Don Draper? Executive assistant. Jesus Christ, you fucking monster.

What do we call the horse now? Is he still secretary? No, he's executive assistant. He is. Administrative, yeah. Greatest athlete of all time. Secretary's not canceled. It is.

It is. Stop saying it. You're making me uncomfortable. It used to be S-Words Day, and then it became Administrative Assistance Day. Yep. Correct. That seems more demeaning. No, Administrative Assistant of Defense.

That sounds bad-ass. Administrative Assistant sounds more demeaning than Secretary. Administrative Assistant of defense? That sounds bad-ass. Administrative assistant sounds more demeaning than secretary. Administrative assistant of state? And y'all are just going along with all these words? We just can't say these words anymore? Yep. We've been going along with it. Want me to make a stand?

Kinda. Let's say secretaries together. No, Brandon. We're sheep. We follow the herd. Come on, man. Take this YouTube down. I would have agreed, but this vaccine's

taking all the fight out of me. I got nothing left. Yeah, just feel complicit. It's easier to comply. I'm starting to find Stephen Colbert really funny. I like being sick. I'm just conditioned to be that way. Masks look cool.

I look like a cyberpunk. The greatest fall accessory. accessory Yeah you can say secretary Go ahead Brandon I give you permission Secretary Ah Secretary It just doesn't sound right

When you say that No You sound so demeaning I think y'all just You sound angry Do I have a cancelable voice Is that what it is Yes

What's the month after June? July. July. Oh, man. And what do the people on the media do? Every time he gets to that month, there's Jews lying. Maybe lying.

Jews lying. He turns to Willie Armstrong. Jews lie. I see lies from Jews. More. More. Give us more. Oh, fuck.

This was a good show. Yeah. Action packed. Nice to have all the boys back. High energy Monday. What's everyone's schedule this week? I'm here. All right. This was a good show. Yeah. Action packed. Nice to have all the boys back. High energy Monday. What's everyone's schedule this week? I'm here. Just chilling. Might be out Friday.

Yeah? No. Who's out? Yeah, Rowan, you in? I'm in. Let's go. What should we do? I want a draft.

Let's get on some shit. Let's do a draft. Let's do a fucking draft. I'd love a draft. You want to do a draft Friday? Let's make a yak wrap. I might be in Friday. Let's do a Nuvo ring draft.

Yeah, yeah. We spell out the words Nuvo ring, and then we have to shove it up our pussies. Oh, I like this. We have to shove whatever it is up our pussies. What was the thing we were going to do? Yak. Was it yak sandwiches? No, it was.

We did sandwich. Let's do a wrap. Oh, we're going to do soup. The name yak. I thought we were going to do yogurt. We're going to have a generic broth and add things to our hot broth. Are we going to hot pot? That seems too inconvenient

All we have to do is hot heat broth And we just drop in the broth When we get our crock pot No no we have one thing of broth And then we draft HOT We ladle out our broth and then we drop Whatever the shit is into our broth So something Super Bowl?

Super Bowl Super Bowl? Oh. Super Bowl. Okay. Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Super Bowl Sunday. Well, let's think on this. Yeah, of course. Ice cream Sunday.

Oh, ice cream Sunday was the idea. Oh. So we have a base of ice cream and shit that goes on it? A base of ice cream and then we pick out the toppings. Toppings? But someone said that we should do yak. Like pick a Y, A, and K. That's dope.

Limits us a lot. Do you think so? Well, that's how we've done all the other ones. Okay. Yellow mustard. Should we do it for an ice cream sundae? Yeah. Arugula and ketamine.

Yeah. Bro, if someone brings in ketamine, we can't tell on each other and we can just do the ketamine, right? We can just have some ketamine as a treat. Yeah. We should get someone who can actually bring in one of those ice cream carts. We just eat a lot of ice cream.

If you're an ice cream man, slide in the Yaks DMs. Yeah, let's have an ice cream man. Come on. You're going to get their truck in here? Oh, let's Cold Stone Creamery on that queue. Yes. No. Yeah, if you just have to fold in ingredients.

Yeah, we have to Cold Stone it. Oh, we got to get Donnie. Someone needs to get Donnie to figure this out. No, because people who make their own ice cream, this is how they do it. Like, if you make your own ice cream, you have to cold stone everything into it. We've got more than enough days

to waste all the days until Thursday and then scramble and try to get it for Friday. Agreed. Yeah, well, yeah. All right, so we're doing ice cream. We're cold stoning it. Yes. See you everyone tomorrow. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop

We're doing Yankees, love is the act