The Yak - Brandon Walker Is Back And Gets Physical With Henry Golding | The Yak 7-19-21

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

The rivalry weve all been waiting forYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, we've got a special guest on today's Jack. You might remember him from season three and season two. He's back for a brief cameo on season four. It is Brandon T. Walker. Hello. Brandon, it's great that you're back.

Yes. Especially the part where you just open a water bottle. And leave a mess beside your desk, your chair. Sorry. This is when you know, it's like. That's a breast trap. It's like, you know Santa Claus is at your house because the cookies have been eaten? Correct, yes.

You know Brandon's been at your house because he opens a water bottle, loses the cap, takes one sip, and then just leaves it. Sorry. On the floor. That's my fault. I don't have time to drink on the previous show. What did you even do with the cap? I don't know what the cap is. Give me the one.

Open your mouth. He ate the cap. Are you hoarding the cap in your cheek? He has the cap in his mouth. I'm good. I just know I can't do it. You swallowed the cap like a pill. That's the exact amount of water that you need to swallow it.

What is that thing in your throat? What is that thing sticking out of your throat? That's Chick-fil-A sandwich. I have one thing. Kyle, can I? You've been gone for two months and all you have is one thing? Can I sit there, Kyle? One thing. Kyle, that's my chair. I bogart at your seat.

Kyle, that's my chair. Squatter's rights. I was only gone a month. I was gone two weeks to Omaha and two weeks to Mississippi. You've missed a lot. A lot has changed. I'm the fucking alpha of this show now. Why are you so far back in the corner? I'm the alpha of this show. Yeah. That's Mr. Nick.

Let's try to catch you up on this. Sass has a hit podcast with Roan. I've listened to it. Nick is the alpha. Two weeks ago, Frank actually acknowledged Owen's existence. Really? Set his name. Oh, fuck. Maybe he's got rippling kegs? And KB is borderline suicidal.

That existed before I left. Yeah, but it's gotten way worse now. Way worse. Hey, Sass. He just stands by the 9-11 memorial pondering. I missed you, buddy. We're not doing this. I should have been there.

Enough. We got called out. Enough with your bits. This is a serious show now. Brandon texted me the other day, and he was like, I'm on my way back. Oh, yeah. That was in the Yak group chat. Yeah.

Everybody saw that. Sass is so self-absorbed. Sass has main character syndrome. I didn't text you. I texted everybody. He said, sass. The president spoke to me yesterday. The president talked to me on TV.

That was the State of the Union sass. That was for everyone. Kanye's got a new album for me coming out later this week. No, that was publicly released for anyone to listen to. Big Cat, Brandon, sorry if the rest of us seem sluggish. We had a long late It looked awesome It went every bit of nine innings Did you guys stay the whole game?

Why? We were there for like an event thing It was an event It was an event You would have thought it was Tass was bobbing and weaving To evade the plaudits. I mean, he is the king of New York.

There was much ado. The event was basically just pure demographic. Your demographic is strange. Yeah. There were some old men. Who put this endeavor together? Who was captain of this ship? Sass.

He's the king. Sass obtained tickets. Yeah, my uncle had tickets and he couldn't go, so he gave me the tickets. He had five tickets? It was my birthday Friday, so he took us out. Was it really your birthday on Friday? Wait, what? We knew that.

No, we all knew that. And you celebrated a smoothie? No, there was cake in the smoothie in the last one he drank. Fuck you, Owen. It was a breadcrumb by Rowan. That's why he got the cake. You didn't tell anyone it was your birthday. I actually think.

I hate birthdays. Yeah, but you know what? I think what you're doing, that's bullshit. Because now he's saying it's his birthday. There's birthday guys who do that where they're like, I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday two days ago. I feel like Owen's had multiple birthdays since he's been here.

He has been here for two years. One of the other little blonde boys. He's not one of the little blonde boys. Yeah, Owen, you did that on purpose. I rescind my happy birthday. Happy that you had to drink the diarrhea smoothie. Happy birthday, Owen. That was gross. We still have the blender if we don't want to scrape it. Well, we definitely need to redo. I think the evolution is a season four thing,

but any draft we do just needs to be smoothies. I think we go soup. Soup smoothies? Yeah. So we need a crock pot then? So it is a crock pot. That would be so much worse. Soup?

I think hot would be worse than cold. No, if we make soup, though. We bring all the ingredients for soup. We all bring a broth. We all bring something that floats and something that sinks. One poop and one pee. How about this? How about Friday?

Brandon texts about the smoothie draft. He asks a question. He waited five minutes exactly before he did the cool because no one responded within five minutes. Because the group chat was popping. Things were happening. I rarely, I never initiate in the group, but you guys were talking. You were the Alka-Seltzer. And I asked a question about the smoothie draft.

You asked a question. No one answered in five minutes. But it went dead. The whole thing went dead. And you said, cool. The whole thing went dead. And I said, cool. Okay, we're not going to answer. That's what I said.

You guys stop talking. That's not on me. That's on you. You guys were saying good stuff. Cool. It was hilarious until that point. I'm fucking remembering it now. Everyone was on their best behavior, making the funniest jokes.

And then you came in, Brandon. We started a side group chat saying, don't say anything back to him for at least five minutes. But we've mostly just been texting in the Yankee Red Sox group chat. The Yankee Red Sox group chat. Which actually has been

popping. It's us and Hubs. Iris. Inside Joe. I wanted to talk about Iris last night. I wanted to talk about the picture you guys sent to the Yak person. Wait, is Dana still on R? I think Dana is.

Yeah, you added him, and you never kicked him out. That's funny. Oh, he's just been listening? Yeah, Dana's on R. Wait, Dana's in the Yak guy's in this picture. Yeah, Big Cat added him to tell him to do the beer tweet. No, I told him to get Tom Arnold. The day that we had Dana in

where he was saying like, people have DM'd him being like, I haven't drank in 10 years, but you made me want to drink again. Tom Arnold had like his 25th like sobriety date anniversary and I was like, Dana, you know what to do.

Do the beer tweet to him. Yo pussy, give me your chip. Give me your fucking chip. And then I forgot to take him off. Dana just squatted in the group chat. Yo, pussy, give me your chip. Give me your fucking chip. And then I forgot to take him off. Dana just squatted in the group chat. Yeah, he is.

He's hiding in there right now. Giggling, laughing to himself. Dana's going through it, man. Yeah. He doesn't have life in his eyes right now.

Dana is not going through it. He overreacted. He was going through it and then he posted like a beer tweet on Saturday and everyone's like, back, back. And he's retweeting all of them. He needs to get down bad so he can come back.

Yeah, he has to go through it. That must be so stupid to have all your fans reply to your tweets with the same thing over and over. I know. Can't relate. I've been seeing some Caleb doesn't miss, though. I saw that. Did you see that, too? Yeah. It's been going around that Caleb actually is the one that doesn't miss though I saw that did you see that too yeah it's been going around

that Caleb actually is the one that doesn't miss at all the Frank the ending of the Jake Paul was so funny so great

Frank just being like how's it going what was wrong with Jake Paul he was trying to do like a cool guy out of touch and you can't do that it was really weird What was wrong with Jake Paul? He was trying to do like a cool guy. I think he was trying to out-Caleb Caleb, and you can't do that.

It was really weird. I liked it. I enjoyed Jake Paul on that. Jake Paul actually had a decent performance. I thought he did. He actually helped. How long do you guys think they sat there and did that interview until Frank asked him how he was doing? I think that's natural.

That's what Frank does. Oh, no. He's saying how long were they actually physically there? Probably an hour. An hour, two hours maybe. Not two hours, but, yeah, somewhere between 45 and an hour. Because, like, he probably walked in the room, they introduced, they said this is what we're going to do, they sat down, they taped for a while, and Frank just dropped a how's it going. Yeah, it's just a reflex for him, like saying have a good flight back to the person that's taking you onto the plane.

It doesn't matter if it makes sense contextually. He's just going to say his words. I was telling these guys, Frank had a tweet today that was, or on Saturday, that actually I think is the greatest tweet of all time. He wrote everything. What the fuck? Data. Data. What up, bro?

We didn't... That was... He's coming in. Dude, are you still on our group chat? Yeah. Whoops. You like it? I mean, it's all right.

You didn't talk shit about me. Oh, so that's why you were laying in the woods. You were monitoring that? Yeah. How does that take me out? I'm sorry. Well, how's the scumbag watch? I just thought it was cool.

I was like, I felt like I was included with the boys. How's the scumbag watch right I just thought it was cool. I felt like I was included with the boys. How's the scumbag watch right now? You got the cross on. That's fucking deterrent as a wards off scumbag behavior. You should really adopt a small family. And so that way, whenever you get it, you know, the J. Williams. Remember when J.

Williams had the thing a couple weeks ago with the tweet? Yeah, so he got hacked. He got hacked. And then the next post was like, this is what really matters, him and his daughter. You want some kids? Okay, dude. I mean, I could... I don't know.

I don't know where my scumbag levels are at. I don't have an answer right now. Okay. And that's fine. All right. Anything funny from the group chat? Like, was it like... Yeah.

Who's the star of the group chat? You guys said I need to do a beer tweet, and I was just kind of like half asleep, so I didn't know what to do. I didn't do it. But it was the weekend. That's when you dominate Twitter. I laid low this weekend. Yeah?

I did. Got right with God. You only gave out two blowjobs? No blowjobs. It was a boys weekend. Sorry. Well, that's... Oh, no.

Only time you're on your knees Is when you're praising Christ brother I understand You know I'm Hanging with the boys That's what I'm saying Yes Exactly I don't fucking know

Can you actually go get balls Cause I forgot We need to do this on Mondays For the rest of the summer The recap Where he just says Way too much about What happened at the

Jersey Shore house Yeah that's perfect It just kinda. It's actually our version of the ESPN where Stephen A. Smith says something very controversial and then everyone has to respond to it later in the day. That's this version. We create our own

news cycle. Yeah, right. We just need balls to be brutally honest and giggle and be like, I don't want to say it and then he says. I mean, Owen should be the you should be the mole that – you had the chance to be a mole, but you gave up mole status. Owen wasn't there this weekend, though. No.

Rowan was trying to be nice, I think, at the game yesterday. Oh, yeah, it was really funny. Brought Owen a beer and a bag of peanuts. Owen doesn't drink and is allergic to nuts. I think you knew him. When did you stop drinking? A little over a year ago. Oh. Dana think you do. When did you stop drinking? A little over a year ago. Dana, come back!

Balls, you are a correspondent from the Jersey Shore. How was the weekend? It was way more low-key than the first weekend there. I'm going to be honest with you. They've learned to lie. No, seriously. It seriously was nothing as insane.

It was nothing as insane. It was definitely more slow. What was a memorable moment? The moment that you're thinking about today. How tall was the girl Tommy hooked up with? That's what we want to know. See, I don't remember much. I was a little drunk when they came upstairs Thursday night.

I was doing a full-blown Grease concert in the kitchen. Okay. It was pretty fucking lit. With Grease? A concert? Or the movie? Like the whole soundtrack. You see how that can be confusing, right?

Grease. Because the kitchen is where you keep Grease. No, no, no. Grease, the soundtrack. I think you were singing to the- Like Summer Nights. But you get how we're confused. Boogieing to the sounds of Grease popping.

We cooked as well. We cooked as well. So there was grease. There was grease. Spider undercooked some chicken, for the record. Oh, okay. It was like sashimi chicken pretty much Friday night, Thursday night. I mean, the highlight of the weekend probably was going to the Jersey Shore house.

That was the highlight. Yeah. It was unbelievable. Anytime you go there, it's amazing. I mean, what's better than that? Is there like a museum? No, it's just a house that you could tour. And we had to pay for it.

Like a museum. That's kind of like a museum. I mean, it's not like the Smithsonian, even, it's just a house that you could tour. And we had to pay for it. Like a museum. That's kind of like a museum. I mean, it's not like the Smithsonian, even though it should be a museum. But you had to pay for it and you toured it. We had to pay for it because we try to make TikToks in there. Historical significance of the artifacts. Was there like set pieces from the show there? They had.

So it was pretty much the same thing. They had the beds. Okay. They had the beds. Were there things you couldn't touch? They still had the confessional wallpaper up. Ow. They still had the confessional touch? They still had the confessional wallpaper up. Ow. They still had the confessional wallpaper up.

What did you just do? I don't know. They still had the confessional wallpaper up. Was there a gift shop? There was the Shore store. Oh. So this is a museum, full blown. It should be a museum.

It is. It's not like a exhibit. What character are you? You're standing like a boy that just gave a valentine. Why are you being cutesy? There was a Shore store. You're being bashful. You're talking like a girl on a dating show.

I'm nostalgic about Jersey Shore. I'm excited about it. I get happy when I talk about it. It was fucking cool. It's really awesome. Glennie, I've had an idea. Maybe you could do something with it. I think you should be able to rent a full experience at the Jersey Shore house.

You get a night camera crew. You get your own episode of your friend group. I think you should be able to rent a full experience at the Jersey Shore house. You get a night camera crew. You get your own episode of your friend group. I would love that. But a little fun fact, which we learned the other day, you actually can't rent it right now because the Nelk Boys

had a riot out there so we can't rent right now. So we'll just show you the tours. That would be pretty sweet. In a riot? Classic. How far away is the Jersey Shore house from your Jersey Shore?

Five minutes. The Nelk Boys hosted a riot. Right down the street. Sure. What? The Nelk Boys hosted a riot. It was an event. They did.

It was in the news. You can look it up. So who else hooked up? No one. I think that was pretty much it. I think Tommy. Tommy's just a normal-sized girl. It's shocking.

It's crazy. How tall was she, though? Good for Tommy. Good for him. How tall was she? I really don't know. I think she was normal size. She was a normal...

What is normal size for a... 5'6"? 5'5"? Well, he hooked up with a 6'4". That's very tall. That's very tall for a girl, you think? 5'5"? For a girl that would hook up with Tommy,

that's very tall. Let's not listen to him. I really don't... You take the worldwide average. I really don't remember. Especially with the birth rate in Nigeria. The average height is Probably 5'1

That really drags it down She was probably in the 60s I just love how every short guy Has the worldwide average heights And also historical heights Napoleon wasn't that short I will say I think the girl he got with

On Friday Was a little On the tall side She wasn't 6'4 But she was probably Multiple girls Thursday and Friday Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

It's crazy. You're doing like a cute girl. I'm leaning over. Does he wear condoms? Good question. Wait, let's get Tommy in here. Yeah, let's get Tommy in here. All right, let's go get Tommy.

Tommy, this is... Wait, was it the same girl three times? No. Or three different girls? He did a triple header. Two and one. Oh. And was any of them the basketball...

Was it a sandwich or back-to-back? No, the 6'4 girl wasn't here this weekend. It was... Imagine that poor girl hearing about this live. She DM'd him. She broke her tall heart. No, I'm saying that he's hooking up with other girls. Not that she's 6'4.

She knows she's 6'4". Yeah, but good. Tommy's a stallion. She was a little passive-aggressive in the DMs to him. Was it girl one, girl one, girl two, or girl one, girl two, girl one? Girl one. Oh, wow. Girl one came back.

Wow. She came back to DJs on Saturday. Wow. Tommy. Dude, Tommy's insane. Let me go get him. Yeah, go get him. These are the moments that our fan base is going to be mad about.

They don't like when someone like Tommy is just slaying pussy on the Jersey Shore. What is this? You've got to tell her, DM. Oh, let's go. You've got to tell her, DM. Tell the whole story. Tell the whole story. He just wrote back, not really a question, Balls.

Come on. Calm down. Calm down. What the hell did you just say? Okay. Penn and Teller have been DMing been we just got a response balls is very scared to hit up people being like hey i have a new bespoke hawaiian clothing line so he was sitting there being like i want to ask miles teller all morning and he wouldn't ask him so i just put me me, Balls, and Miles Teller in a DM saying,

What's up? Balls has a question for you. That was nice of you. Yeah, I did that also for Guy Fieri and also said that Guy Fieri should do a Boozing Burgers review with him. That would be out of bounds. Oh, he kind of got you. Yeah, I don't really know what to respond to this, frankly. What was your first thing that you said? Big Cat put me and Teller in a group chat and said, What's up, my guy?

Mean. Glennie has a question for you. Because Glennie wanted to be the one to say, My guy. I wanted to say, group chat, said, what's up, my guy? Mean. Glennie has a question for you. Because Glennie wanted to be the one to say my guy. I wanted to say my guy. He thinks he's a my guy guy. I say my guy all the time. So Teller, Big Cat said, what's up, my guy? Glennie has a question for you.

Then two minutes later, it's a five out of five balls question. I said, hey, Miles, I just wanted to go to the Hawaiian clothing line called Balls Beachwear. I would love to send you some. I feel like you're a big Hawaiian shirt guy. Yeah, that wasn't a question. You didn't ask him a question big cat wrote then big cat very nice of you thank you wrote it's fire my guy with a picture of him in the whole suit in the in the

full regalia and tell her just respond and not really question ball so i don't really know what to respond to that he's saying it's not a question just send it to me i was that what's your side the vibe we're getting here yeah size and an address and then i don't think i don't think that's like an agreement to think that's an agreement. It's a very good tone, though. He's striking a good tone. He's busting your balls. Sorry, the question is, can I send you some?

Yeah, easy. Say that back? Yeah. No, no. Don't tap dance around and be assertive. Ask him his size and his address. I don't think we should go straight into that. Well, what do you want to do?

Stop being so cute. Stop being cute. He's on Peach Bellini mode. He's married to my college roommate's cousin, Kaylee Sperry Teller. Okay, you just wrote back, come on, get it together. Come on.

I don't want to do it. You need to take control of the situation. I know, he's going to take control of the situation. I've already taken control. Big Cat, send a message to the group that

Glennie can copy and paste. Okay. Yeah, I'll copy and paste one. Oh, fuck you. He's typing again. Glennie, text him back. He's typing. What do I say?

Hurry, beat Big Cat. He's already typing. I like that he looked at his phones. Oh, Miles Teller's typing. No, Big Cat's typing. Yeah. Why are you looking at your phone to report that? You can see him typing.

So casual. I don't. We all know Miles Teller. You don't know Miles Teller? I don't. I can't say I do. He used to be on the app. This is a long message he sent.

I'm a big fan. You're such a... Fuck you. I said, hey... I said, Glennie, say this. Hey, Miles, can I send you some Balls Beachwear? What's a good size and address? Yeah.

Copy and paste that. Copy and paste that. That's perfect. Do it, Glennie. And stop. You should have started with a Japanese

school girl. Who is this? What is going on? Yes. You should have said that from the L-pad. There you go.

Perfect. These are brand new mannerisms. Yeah. No, he's adopted an entirely new disposition. You went to the

Jersey Shore once and you're cute. What are you doing? You're so cute. You're cute as a button. He's mannerisms. Yeah, no, he's adopted an entirely new disposition. You went to the Jersey Shore once and you're cute. Yeah, what are you doing? You're so cute. You're cute as a button. He's doing it. You're dainty. It's dainty cuteness. So now what do we do if he doesn't respond?

He's going to respond. He's going to respond. Okay. He responded the first time. Now go get Tommy. Now throw me into a group chat. You want to get in one? Yeah, throw me in one with him.

You need to drop some merch first. I'm waiting to get a new podcast. Okay, I'm going to get Tommy. Wait, are you giving out group chats? Yeah. All right. It's kind of my new thing, being a wingman. Are we still, is that wingman deal still on?

Yeah. Whoever you need. Can we do Darius Rucker? They've got to follow me, though. Oh, they don't follow you? I assume you did. I bet Darius Rucker follows you. Go through his followers.

I was thinking about Mo Vaughn. Mo Vaughn would be a great one. I don't think he follows thinking about Mo Vaughn. Mo Vaughn would be a great one. I don't think he follows me. Mo Vaughn? Mo Vaughn's awesome. He's like a Hall of Fame March fella. That would be amazing. Darius Rucker's DMs are open.

I'll hit that up. We'll forget that one. Does he follow you, though? Does Darius Rucker follow you? No. How about Eli Manning? No, we already tried Eli. We said no to Eli.

He's a dickhead. But either way, like I said, my top three was Andy Reid, Teller, and Fieri. Let's do Patrick Mahomes then. Let's get some on Mahomes. I'm not going to sit here and make somebody DM Patrick Mahomes. Why? I'll do it for you. Thank you.

I don't want you to DM Patrick Mahomes. Why not? It's Patrick Mahomes. So? All right, go get Tommy. Go get Tommy. I would be way more nervous to DM Miles Teller than Patrick Mahomes, I feel like. But Miles Teller is a, like, on the record, huge Boozled and Burgers guy.

Oh, really? Yes. He's a known Glennie fan. So why is he so nervous about it? Because he's Glennie. Glennie's nervous. You saw him. Glennie got nervous when we asked about the Jersey Shore Museum.

He was like giddy. Not a museum. He was giddy. He was giddy. Yeah, he was fully giddy. He couldn't plant his feet on the ground. He was light on his feet. He was a little mincy, honestly.

He was mincy. He was mincy. That's mince energy. The impression is becoming real. Guys, where did that banana go? Yeah, can you beat him in that? No. I don't want to try.

Wow. He didn't shoot. Another loss for State, I guess. Uh-oh. Oh, I can smell your dick from here. He's doing the cute thing, too. Yeah, what the fuck is the cute thing? They're e-boys now.

I can smell the pussy on your dick. What is the cute thing? Owen has a question for you, Tommy. He's covering up his nuts and his dick. Now I can see your nuts and dick. Ew, gross. You crushed pussy this weekend. Did you wear a condom? He's covering up his nuts and his dick. Now I can see your nuts and dick. Ew. Gross. You crushed pussy this weekend.

Did you wear a condom? You absolutely obliterated puss. You must feel bad. Do you feel bad? Do you wear a condom? Do you wear a condom? Did you wear a condom? Girl one, two.

I don't even. Did you say you wore a condom and you didn't? Why are you standing like you're nervous to dive into a pool? Nervous to hit yourself. Follow up question to the condom question. Did you tell girl one that there was a girl two in between? Because she knows now. How many holes were in the condom?

What? How many holes did you poke in the condom? Did you reuse it? How many holes were in a straw? Tommy, just name the brand of condoms. We know you used one. Name the brand. Oh, my God.

Trojan would have just been so fast. Trojan, yeah. I don't know what you guys are even referencing. Bare skin. He told us their heights. Thursday, girl. Girl one. Then Friday, girl two. He said they look like the Olympic podium.

Her pleasure, fire and ice. Did you come back to her or Did she come back to you? Look, I don't know. Whatever happens down there, it happens. No, it happens on the shore. We talk about it up here. It's not Vegas. And then just like, what was your favorite position?

Doggy style. Are you the leader in the house for... Three days in a row is pretty good. What? Three days in a row is pretty good. Who knows what happened? Well, he told us what happened.

Was she like a high noon rep? That's why I was able to go down. What do you attribute this hot streak to? You know, I just didn't used to go around saying like,

oh, I'm so hot. I'm so hot. And now you're like this little bashful. Like, when did I ever say that was more ironic? hot, and now you're like this little bashful. When did I ever say that was more ironic? No, you've said it before. But now you're actually drowning.

I don't know what to do with my hands. Leave them at your side. You know, whatever. I'm a single young man. You can't be a timid womanizer. That's the beauty of it. That's your game? There's not many timid womanizers.

I'm timid and I dance funny. I've cornered that market. That's genius. Well, good for you, Tommy. I'm happy for you. Thanks, Chalamet. I heard five, six. What are they getting in return?

Do you follow that? Do you have a Derek Jeter type gift basket? Like money and stuff. A 45. You should get it, Tommy. Like a high noon towel. 45 minutes of cunnilingus. I know you're camping out. Tommy, you should get a Tommy's. Money, like a high noon towel, you know. 45 minutes at Cunnilingus. I know you're camping out.

Tommy, you should get a high noon gift basket that you give every female that shows up. We already have that at the house. We got a towel. We got a Frisbee. We got sunglasses. We got some flip flops. Two girls are playing with the Frisbee. That's how they know they both fucked you on the beach.

Everyone's just throwing your Frisbees around. Hey, where'd you get this Frisbee? I thought it was you on the beach. Everyone's just throwing your Frisbees around. Hey, where'd you get this Frisbee? I thought it was all at once. If I ever start dating a chick and I get out of her shower to like towel off my behind you. All I have is these Frisbees for you to towel off with. Here, you want some? Yeah, you want a burger and serve it to you on a Frisbee?

All right. All right. You're not going to tell us anything. At least tell us one of the positions. One position. The normal position. I heard that you rode her reverse cowboy. You just smacked your balls into her.

You squatted over her like a gargoyle and smacked your balls into her. He was perched on her like a poison dart frog. Perch up here and do it. Yeah, yeah. Tommy loves reverse cowboy. But he said something about you, so say something about him.

About Balls? Yeah. Balls is... He's been to a Grease concert? What? He was doing a Grease concert? He's like singing for the pots and pans? He did perform a live Grease concert.

He said that was when you were Fuggs-ing. No, I saw the live Grease concert. He said that was when you were fugs in. No, I thought a live Grease concert. While he was doing the concert. Oh, he said that you were fugs in during that. It was that's what our foreplay was, was watching Balls. You got so hot and bothered. Yeah, it was watching perform a live Grease concert. What were the girls' names?

Amanda? Have you followed them recently? Because we'll just look at your recent ones. Oh, perfect. Yeah. If you look at it on a web browser, you can see the most recent follows on Instagram. Now, have they changed that? I have them both.

Oh, really? You got them already? Don't say their names. Don't do it. Just say their names. They've already been embarrassed. Don't do it. I'll see them.

Just ask them, DM them to take a picture next to the door frames. I'll just dump them in the YouTube comments. The girls wake up on Monday. They're like, I thought I fucked Dave Portnoy. That guy was telling me he was Dave Portnoy the whole time. He said he was El Prez. No, he was Team Portnoy. That's what it was. Oh, and you need to go there next weekend.

A mole. We need you to burrow back in with your sober ass. Think about it. Yeah. Taking copious notes. Just pen a 10,000 word blog. So did you at least

drink the beer that Roan got you? No. No. No. How could? I pretended to eat a peanut I think for a

TikTok. Oh no you didn't let me. No no it wasn't for you. You didn't ask it first. Hey are you allergic

to nuts? Who assumes that someone's allergic to nuts? Look at him he looks allergic to everything. I, are you allergic to nuts? Who assumes that someone's allergic to nuts? Look at him. He looks allergic to everything. I don't look allergic to nuts at all. You do look allergic to nuts. Sass is our allergic boy. Yeah, Sass is the allergic kid.

I'm allergic to nothing. Wolf, I also don't think... Let's do an allergy test show. I don't think I'm actually allergic to nuts, but we don't have to get into that. You carry an EpiPen. No, we... You do?

Yeah, he brought it into the stadium. They tried to make him throw it out, and he had a big scene. Oh, by the way, when we were going through security, Nick, you tell the story. Those guys went into the longer security line. I went around to the shorter one for the metal detectors. They got in the stadium like five minutes before me, because the

three guys in front of me all had knives. And they weren't together. No, they were separate knives. Just three separate men me all had knives. And they weren't together. No, no. They were separate knives. Just three separate men with three separate knives. They would watch the guy in front of them have to throw out the knife. And then they were dumbfounded that they, too, would have to throw out the knife.

And I was just waiting. What? This is a no-knives game? What the fuck? Oh, it must be because it's Sunday Night Baseball. Yeah. It's a family affair. Keep holy the Sabbath.

No knives at baseball. That was just one of the many memories that we'll remember forever. Yeah, I want some more inside jokes. Iris. Iris. Let's get a laugh out for Iris. Oh, shit. No, you wouldn't get it.

No, I know. I know that. There was a woman in a section. I'm sure Space Jam was good, though. It was. It was really good. I got rushed to the hospital on New Year's Day after they told me I was allergic to tree nuts. I think it was something else.

You got rushed to the hospital for what? Full body reaction. What had you eaten? There's Grandin. Grandin. Grandin was on the show almost every day when you were gone. No, she wasn't. Yeah, she was.

She popped in. Yeah, she was. You didn't listen. You weren't even listening to the show. Oh, she wasn't. Yeah, she was. She popped in. Yeah, she was. You didn't listen. You weren't even listening to the show. Oh, you didn't. I was fishing. It's a podcast now. It's so easy to listen to.

I was fishing. You can listen while you're fishing. Brandon made an appearance every single day that you were not here. No, because she was there with me for a week. She was calling in? Yep. What? From my grandmother's funeral.

She called in. Yeah. Which we all thought was a little weird. Yeah. That your grandmother died. Like dying was so 2020. We all thought it was weird that she called in, but we were like, if this is what you need to do to cope,

we'll have you on, of course. People grieve differently. They do. So what was your favorite memory of your grandmother? That you're going to say. I don't know. was she wasn't bad she was a big alabama fan really yeah yeah so the family was like going down there what do you want anything out of the house and it's all roll tide shit and well at least you got to see him win one

last time i didn't want shit um but i i did a lot of fishing hung out with uncle doug it was good that wasn't a memory about your grandmother. Uncle Doug is her son, so she created him. How's Doug? Very good. Was he struggling? No, we were all fine. You guys knew it was coming for a while. We're rock solid people. We're good. We're walkers. Salt of the

earth. Literally worms that came out of the ground. That was the first walker. Oh my God. Ken Jack. What the hell? What's going on here? What is he going to fucking...

Ken Jack. Oh, fuck. I hope he's not coming from a funeral. Oh. He got bent. That was like a men in black suit. There's no way he was coming from a funeral. Those glasses are way too flashy.

He has glasses on. Yeah. Those sunglasses. That wasn't funeral attire. That was like night out at the club. Also, as a rule, if you go to a funeral and then come to work, I just assume you're okay. Yeah. Plus, if you go to a funeral, you can just not come to work that day.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like, if you show up after going to a funeral, I'm assuming that you're emotionally okay. If you didn't take the day off for the funeral. That's a fair assumption it's the best part of going to a funeral not having to go to work yeah well i love my job so i can't relate to that so you made sure that no one in your life dies exactly you're still pretty young give it another year your grandparents are what 55 you don't have a single dead grandparent?

No. My grandpa's in the hospital, though. Thanks for asking. That's close. Thanks for asking. I haven't had grandparents for years, bro. A much faster clip when you get older. I've noticed that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's true. That's an astute observation. It's a pattern. It's a pattern. Yeah. All right. What else? Space Jam 2 is great. Are you going to see it where you can take your kids? it's a pattern it's a pattern yeah alright what else

Space Jam 2 is great are you gonna see are you gonna take your kids well just watch it at home put them in the theater and just I one of

the straw through the popcorn yeah you've never seen that I've seen it but it made me feel very nostalgic yeah cause

that's the best way to do it ever and I finished it all before the movie started. You finished all of that before the movie started? Every single last bit. And a burrito. Jesus. A burrito?

Wait, you got a burrito at a movie theater? What do you mean a burrito? Did you bring it from home? Psych, psych, psych, psych. Say it, say it, say it. Billy brought in Chipotle in his pants. And you ate a pant burrito? Yeah, he brought cargo pants.

Is that why he lost his wallet? Because he had burritos in his pants? He brought burritos for everyone, and he thought he was being so slick by sneaking in these burritos. Meanwhile, PFT and Hank walked in with backpacks on. And no one said anything. You were eating beans in the theater.

Yeah. Shout out. Classic viral tweet. It is. Why don't you say, recap the whole thing verbally. I don't think you can get in trouble with me saying that.

No, you can say that word, right? Rowan, you can. Yeah, you can. You've said it before. You've said it a lot. I said that. That was in confidence. That was just in our group chat.

I thought that was in confidence. No. Rowan was saying it last night at the game. You said it a lot I said that That was in confidence That was just in our group chat I thought that No No No Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Because the socks have... Shut up. Stop! What were you going to say, Ron? There were planes that were flying away from the stadium, and Lil Sass thought that they were all painted black because there was a shadow on them.

They looked black. The undersides of them were painted black? I was like, I've never seen a black plane before. And then you saw eight in a row. They saw a lot more. YMCA came on, and Sass was like, did you guys know this is like a gay song? And we were just like, yes. I didn't say that.

I said, you know, the YMCA was known for gay men to hook up in. And someone didn't know. Owen didn't know. And I was telling it to Owen. Yeah, you told me. I wasn't telling it to you old geezers. Dead grandparent having assholes. And Owen didn't know, so it was a fun little fact.

We have to throw his way. Thank you. And then Rudy sent the TikTok that he made that got taken down. Oh, yeah. He got in trouble because some guy was jerking him off in the sauna. What's up, brother? That's the Snake Eyes guy. That's why Ken Eyes guy. That's right.

That's why Ken Jack just moved. That's why Ken Jack just moved. I was on that guy's IMDB on the Uber to the office. Wise. Somebody said they found an Asian doppelganger of me. Wait, was that him? Was that him? No.

They forgot to include the picture. So you were just hoping? Who was that guy? How did you end up on him? You were searching every Asian actor? I looked up handsome Asian actor, and he's the first one that comes up. Oh, good for me. So you think just hoping Who was that guy How did you end up on him You were searching every Asian actor I looked up handsome Asian actor And he's the first one that comes up Oh good for me

So you think you're handsome No that would have been the joke Yeah that's him Nah that's not a joke Who was that guy Crazy rich Asians guy Really That's what he's in

That's not what he is Didn't he do a Shit I can see what's going on In Sass's brain We could stop this show And do Son of Boy dead right now Yeah can we Really Fuck I can see what's going on in Sass's brain. We could stop this show and do Son of Boy Dead right now with him. Can we? Really?

Fuck. Did he do a thing with Dave or Marshall at one point? Yeah, he did a pizza review. Tell Ken Jack to get in here. Ken Jack! That wasn't loud at all. Ken Jack! Who is that?

We can get him on Son of a Boy Dead. That can't be a delivery. Is that a delivery? There's an Alt-Gurr door dasher Boy. That can't be a delivery. Is that a delivery? There's an alt girl door to have here? Why can't that be a delivery? Let's get him in here. I've never. And you can interview him.

I ain't never walked through those doors. Maybe you interview Ken Jack afterwards. Ken Jack, put the glasses back on. Come back in with the glasses on in your pocket square having ass he rolled his eyes but he's so happy

he flawlessly just rolled out of the room great spin move looks very good what's going on here Ken Jack we're about to do

a big LCB interview with Henry Golden who I'm sure you just saw walk by yeah he's gonna do Son of the Boy Dad first yeah that's the first stop right before us but my bit with him by. Yeah, he's going to do Son of a Boy Dad first. Yeah, that's the first stop right before us.

But my bit with him is going to be that, like, he's Malaysian and my whole girlfriend's family is obsessed with him, and they always compare me, like, why don't you look like this handsome asshole? You're like a fat, ugly white dude. So my thing's going to be I'm going to alpha the shit out of him when he comes into the office. I'm going to be like, I'm GQing the shit out of you right now.

So now they're going to look at him less. I got a problem for you. He just walked by. I know. It's so weird. I saw the second he walked by. It was bad. Just abandoned.

Put on the over sweatshirt. I already have a hungover sweatshirt. We actually laughed at you. Have Frank do the interview for you. We were laughing at you. We laughed at you. It was going to be bad. My whole thought process is I'm going to have to take a picture with him after.

I'm going to ask him to get on his knees so I just look so much taller than him. And then that's going to be my play now. You're going to ask him to get on his knees? You're going to ask that guy to get on i'm so that that's gonna be my play now you're gonna ask him to get you're gonna ask that guy to get on his yeah you could do that i think he's a nice guy i think he'll i think he'll play along i don't think dana beers move yeah he'll play along i think interesting you want to drop your yannis theory real quick my yannis theory well it didn't ken jacks convinced yannis has covet i'm convinced mostly because in that game, the entire first half, he was so tired. He was.

He didn't play half the first quarter, basically. And, like, he just was gassed, tired. Even when they came back from halftime, he was, like, not moving at all. But then he played amazing for the entire third and fourth. So, I don't know. Yeah, Van Gundy said he looked gassed with, like, nine minutes to go in the third quarter. Yeah, but he was destroyed the entire game. But he was still playing really well.

So, I don't know. What did he have, 35 and 15? He had a lot. He had a near triple-double. What did he have, 35 and 15? He had a lot. He had a near triple-double. He had like seven assists too. So that's the theory, but it doesn't play because he's playing well. Yeah. All right.

Well, good luck on the interview. Good luck to that handsome, famous guy to kneel. Yeah, right. Hey, can you kneel for me? Thanks for the interview. Thanks for coming here. You bow to me? That guy looks so much hotter.

So much so that his cargo shorts on. Their pants. Their pants. Because you've got. So that is cargo shorts on. Pants. They're pants because you got to say that because cargo shorts is something that people actually wear. Cargo pants, no one wears. I think it's switched in the last few years. I think those are becoming stylish amongst fashionistas. They're fashionable? The shorts have been out since 13.

I don't think so, but I bought one. Jeff D. Lowe decided to go shorts. Shorts and a short sleeve hoodie. They weren't on the same page. It's going to be a weird looking interview. Yikes. Incongruous. Where did Henry Golden go?

He walked over to content, but hasn't reemerged. I would be honest. Probably in some balls beach wear right now Probably yeah You should DM him Kelly Martin's just taking him around He's probably fucking your wife Oh shit

Who's wife? Both Grandin He's probably fucking Grandin That's your wife That's his tradition in Mississippi. What else happened in Mississippi? Did you go to fucking Henry's or whatever that spot's called?

It's called Anthony's. Thank you very much, Steve and Shane. I did go to Anthony's. I have pictures. It was delicious. Had some fried crawfish tails. Why don't they give you free food there? Huh?

I thought they were supposed to give you free food. I feel like it was advertised. That's two brothers. Two brothers. Two brothers. Yeah feel like you're just advertising. No, that's Two Brothers. Two Brothers. Two Brothers. Yeah, they fixed it. So what happened with Anthony's? You're a nobody?

No, Anthony's I pay. Two Brothers I've had sponsorship deals with before, and they've always taken care of me. A little side deal, a little payola. Correct, yeah, yeah. It's like you're OnlyFans or whatever the cameo. How's that going? It's slow these days. Really?

I don't know. It just slowed days. Really? I don't know. It just slowed down. Why? I don't know. Because you haven't been around the office. Well, I haven't had FaceTime. You think maybe it's partly because you blocked half the internet? I don't block half the internet.

I'm only at like 300 right now. Have a special unblocking deal for Cameo. Let the hounds out and then have a nice little sale. I just had a mass unblocking like a month ago. Really? Yeah. So once a quarter. Actually, we're in July now.

Sorry, July. We're in this month now. Why did you just apologize to one of us? Because you should have apologized to two of us. Yeah. Well, I apologize to both of you guys. Who? Who?

Here. Suck that. Suck that down, Sass. I apologize to apologize to sass for what you know that half of sass and half of me ben mince is a july guy i know he also says july so you don't think you could beat ben mince in a banana eating contest no no i don't why we really like was that like a was that like was that insane speed? That was insane speed. I think the record is like eight seconds. One second off the record. Yeah.

But I don't know if there is a record. I tried to Google it, and there is no information. Somebody replied. We do need to do the thing where we just have an entire day where we invite people in here and pretend that we're like, oh, we got a bet. Can you finish this? Yeah. Just make people finish random things.

Yeah. Let's do that. The fact that he chewed it is the only thing that's slowing him down. I don't think the... I didn't see the chewing. A pro's pro will just like... Swallow it. Swallow it whole.

Deep throat it. Deep throat it like a porn star. But he just... If he can learn to not chew, he will be the best banana eater that has ever walked this road. I think the most impressive part is how fast he opens it up.

He has this weird technique where it's just a whole eater that has ever walked this road. I think the most impressive part is how fast he opens it up. He has this weird technique where he... Imagine him opening a condom. It just slips out. Imagine him at the Jersey Shore house fucking with Tommy. Well, how was Omaha with Carl and Vince? It was great. That's a cast of characters. It was fantastic.

What kind of escapades did you get? It was fantastic. Any BTS? By the end of two weeks, we were all ready to separate from each other. It didn't seem like that. I bet everyone else seemed like it. Not Carl. Carl seemed to have fallen in love with Ben Mintz.

Yeah, no, those two were very – Oh, you resented it. I went off and did my own thing a lot. Those two were together the whole time. They were great friends. Mintzy is sober. You're very, yeah. And Carl is not.

They complete each other. Yeah, no, they were yin and yang. But they were together a lot. How was the heat? Did you have any heat strokes? I did. I had one. I had one in Mississippi, one in Nebraska, yeah.

Talk, walk me through it. Keep going. It was the fucking night of the national championship game. I tried to go out drinking afterwards. It didn't work. I had to go back and pass out. I don't know. And then I played golf in Mississippi. Are you sure that was heat stroke? Maybe you got too drunk.

You got too fucked up. I didn't. I had half a beer. I had half a beer. No, I had the migraine and all that. Sounds like someone slipped you a little something. A Mickey. I played golf. Cosby just got out. Maybe Cosby's trying to fuck you. I saw him in Omaha. Yeah, Cosby. He's a huge Vanderbilt fan. Hey, hey. Maybe Cosby's trying to fuck you. I saw him in Omaha. Yeah, Cosby's just...

He's a huge Vanderbilt fan. Hey, hey, hey. He's the whistle guy. You want a cold card with that? You saying good for him? Please. We'll mark that up. It was Tommy Walker Day when you were in Mississippi.

Oh, we got a scheduled Tommy Walker Day. What did you get him? Did you get him something dangerous? I got him a Nintendo Switch. Does he have a hoverboard? He does. He has four. How many bludgeons to the head with a Nintendo Switch would Does he have a hoverboard? He does. He has four. How many bludgeons

to the head with a Nintendo Switch would kill his sister? Jesus Christ, KB. See what I mean? KB's down. Cut the stream. Cut the stream.

Nah, come on. We're all on the same page. We're not. We're not on the same page. You see how KB's just giving away all his precious items. We were wondering

if it was a dangerous item or not. It could be. Well, the main Nintendo Switch. He'll get sick of the Switch very fast. Not a lot of fun games on it. And then he'll instantly turn it into a weapon. One of the more confident things that Sass has ever spoken on is what it's like to be an 11-year-old. I bought him his own Switch because the Switch that we already had was used so much that they have to share it. So I bought him a Switch. What it's like to be an 11-year-old. I bought him his own Switch because the Switch that we already had was used so much that they have to share it.

So I bought him a Switch Lite. The Switch Lite, not as easy to kill somebody with. It's much lighter and it doesn't have the screen space. The Switch Lite is basically the exact same thing as the Switch. It just has a different screen. No, you're thinking of the Switch Pro. Oh, yeah. Mistake.

Mistake. Oh, no. The Switch Lite has a smaller screen and doesn't detach. And it doesn Mistake. Oh, no. The Switch Lite has a smaller screen and doesn't detach. And it doesn't hook up to a TV. All right. Fucking sick concert this weekend with Max. Had a fucking blast with the kid. Where was the concert?

Well, it was a lot of places. But did you guys just spend the whole weekend together? I didn't go to that. I was with Kyle the entire weekend. They do hang out. I moved my dad to New York City this weekend. Nice. Chelsea?

Yes. No, he's actually Hell's Kitchen. Beautiful. Yeah, he's really enjoying it so far. Yeah? Yeah, I would bring him like a lozenges at like 4 a.m. Yeah, he's got a new light set. What?

Has he met Dana? Oh,m. Yeah, you can try to do some dramatic go-puff. What? Has he met Dana? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what Dana met by a weekend with the boys? Mm-hmm. They were hitting it off. Nice of you to do

the heavy lifting for me. Owen and I, we were walking home last night and apparently there's like a new like drag queen bar literally next to our apartment. And it was very, like the whole thing, it was just like, I feel like I was walking through, I feel like I was the whole thing it was just like i feel like

i was walking through i feel like i was in a dream like i didn't feel like what was happening was real do you walk to the bar no we're walking down the street and everyone's pointing at this apartment across the street and i thought this person was about to jump out the window because they're like standing at the window and everyone's pointing watching and then we walk like five more steps and i like turn around and there's like dude's then we walk like five more steps and i like turn around and there's like dude's dick is literally like in my face he's got like 10 inch you dream about that that felt like a dream it didn't feel real it was a dream this dude's dick was legitimately in my face and i like bump into him and he's like whoa and it was just it was so such

a strange way to penis erect or i don't know. No, you know. It was in your face. What was going on in the window, though? I don't know. Did you see it, Owen? I didn't notice anything. I kept on looking back. This was a dream.

You were having a dream. You're just telling us a dream. It felt like it literally felt. It was the strangest way to end the night. It seems like a lot for him to not notice. No, he noticed the other parts. Most of my dreams are suicide. The man, the ass, and the taint.

It was very strange. He's dreaming about getting bludgeoned by a Nintendo. That's what I dream about. I'm surprised their kids play the Switch so much. It's a fun console, but there's nothing to do on it.

I didn't realize you had such strong opinions about Switch. There's fun consoles, but there's nothing to do on it. I didn't realize you had such strong opinions about Switch. It's a fun console, but there's nothing to do. SAS is way closer to your kid's age than us. There's all the Mario games. Odyssey is fun. Mario Kart is not very fun. Mario Kart is fun. Mario Party is fun.

Smash Brothers for them is very fun. Yeah. Okay, well, that's four. I'm more of a campaign-type game player. Breath of the Wild? Well, you're not 11 anymore. The only fun campaign, or the two biggest ones are Odyssey and Breath of the Wild. You bought an Oculus.

Plus, they love Minecraft. I haven't played it since I moved to New York. Right. But they're 11. Okay. They like 11-year-old things. Tell them to grow the fuck up. Just because you're 11 doesn't mean

that you don't like know about video games yeah but they like to play minecraft sandbox games like that i like to play minecraft too i didn't do you want me to buy i don't know what's going on he's so upset i thought i was just saying i was like i was like i'm surprised that they play the switch so much because everyone i know that has it it's like they play it for a month and then they stop playing what When's your birthday? April 5th. Okay. I'm expecting the Switch Lite in my desk.

No, you're getting the full thing. I have the full thing. He needs the Lite. All right, I'll get you a Lite. Maybe if I had the Lite, I would play it more. I like this because you're just speaking passionately about something. Yeah, maybe there's new games. I don't know.

Maybe I'm out of the loop. There's a lot of new games. The Donkey Kong game on there is very, very good. Super Mario Maker 2 is fantastic. It sounds like you're more passionate about it than I am. No, I'm just defending. Donkey Kong, Super Mario Brothers 2. I'm defending the Switch.

I feel like you're misguided in your hatred of it. Just admit you fucked up and got him a bad gift for his birthday. It's not a hate. It wasn't. I wasn't saying it was a bad gift. I like the Switch. You're a bad dad. It's a cool console. It's a. I wasn't saying it was a bad gift. I like the Switch. You're a bad dad. It's a cool console.

It's a cool concept. I just don't know. Again, he's 11. Why are you talking like a video game? It's great. I like it. Yeah, you are very passionate about it. A game tester.

I was just saying, I don't know how they are entertained so much by it. I got bored of it pretty quickly. Do you want to talk to Tommy? I would like to, yeah. I want to know what he plays. Are you bored of it, though, because you got older? No, I don't know what the whole age...

It has nothing to do with my age. It has a lot to do... I mean, video games... I'm playing the same games as them. Well, toys, I think, are cooler than toys 10-year-olds think are cool. No, Mario Odyssey was one of the most fun games I've ever played.

You just beat it so fast? No, it took me a long time to beat. It took me like two weeks to beat. Actually, that's not true. It took me like three days to beat. A Breath of Wild it took me a long time to beat. It took me like two weeks to beat. Actually, that's not true. It took me like three days to beat. Mario Breath of Wild took me a really long time to beat. Shut up, really? I remember I would turn on my Switch, play, try and fight the boss,

and then I would throw my Switch across the room. I would be so frustrated. A full Switch or a light? No, the full Switch. Damn. You can't be throwing that thing. That's expensive. You threw it into a team battle.

I would throw it into a pillow. His parents a team. I would throw it into a pillow. His parents are rich. I would throw it into a pillow. But I just like, and then eventually I beat those games, and then I was like, I don't really see many other games. You just got to start a PC game. Like Smash. Me and my friends play Smash all the time,

but not when I'm not with them. You just got to understand what Mario Party is to an 11-year-old. It's like the greatest game ever. Nick, do you PC game? No. I book game. I love I Spy. Where's Waldo? Magic Eye. I can never find the

thimbles. Where's Waldo? Yeah. That's that shit. Sass, we should bring your Oculus back in though. Yeah, or yours. Yeah. That was... We killed two Oculusculuses that day. I know. The thing is, I would use my Oculus.

There's just nowhere to use it in our apartment. Unless I want to, like, stand on the roof, and then I'll throw myself off the roof. That was an all-time stupid purchase by me. Yeah. I bought it instantly. You bought it legitimately. What about that?

And it's still in the box. What about that ping-pong ball apparatus you bought? Wouldn't that be good to use? No, we use that that night. And it's still in the box. What about that ping pong ball apparatus you bought? Wouldn't that be good to use? No, we use that every show. Thanks for listening. Yeah, but off the show? Yeah, we could use it. Recreationally?

We don't use it here. You bought it for this show. No, I bought it for my life. You want to use it? Yeah, it was very clear he was buying it for many uses. Yeah, for my enjoyment. KB, we can't illegally gamble with it, though. You're trying to illegally gamble.

Yeah, remember, I got taken to task when we had Frankie's dad in here. I think the last time we used it was Tommy Walker Day. Might have been. Because he landed on cigarettes. That's right. Yeah, he's been addicted since. That's crazy. Marb Reds.

We need to get him back in. We need to get his little ass back in here. I bet kids get addicted to shit so much easier. Yeah. Like Mario Party dumbasses. They don't know the game sucks. Boy, sit down. Don't you know this game sucks?

This isn't a campaign game. And you're dumb and your dad sucks. How is your retention rate so high on such a boring game? Those games are just not like... Why is this kid dumb? Even when I was that age, I couldn't just play Mario Kart for hours. I've never seen you so passionately defend a point. Yeah, I love it.

I'm not even an officer in this conversation. It's not even a point. Get Thomas on the phone. Everyone was acting like I was crazy for saying that the Switch is a better phone. Because Thomas will have a Lincoln Douglas-style debate with you about this. I bet he has good opinions on this too. He has strong opinions.

Does he have any other consoles? Yes. Yeah. What does he have? PS4. We haven't got the PS5 yet. Okay, so PS4 is like significantly more fun though, right?

I was hoping you would ask. Are you sick? I'm not. Oh. Ouch. Maybe not the time. Not the time. Yes, it is.

Hey, Tommy. All right, listen. Ask Tommy what he likes more, the Switch or the PS4. What do you like more, the Switch or the PS4? Say it again. What happened to the fuck? I can't. Did you mute yourself?

No. Okay, the Switch or the PS4? PS4. Why? Because you're allowed to get a lot more games on it. Oh, my God. What did I say? Wow.

Do you not like the Switch games? No, I like them. But there's just not enough? The PS4 one's better. All right, fair enough. Is he like campaigns? What's your favorite game that you play on the Switch? Brandon's holding back tears.

Minecraft Dungeons. All right. Little Sass is going to buy you a video game system. I'm going to buy him a PlayStation 5. Are you? No. Yes, yes, yes. You got to.

Look at my eyes, Tommy. No. Thank you. You got it, man. That was sweet. All right. Thanks, Tommy. No. You got it, man. That was so sweet. All right. Thanks, Tommy. You made his day.

Love you, buddy. Damn, Sass. Love you. Sass redeemed. Oh, my God. That was to me. You have to buy it. Love you was to me.

You have to buy it. It was. Yes, it was. I mean, that was crazy. That could not have worked out more perfectly. Yeah, I owe you an apology. Yeah, I'm sorry, Sass.

Sass knows. I apologize as well. We should just know by now. He's right. It's the miracle of being a father, too. Didn't you kind of get those tingles, Sass, when he said, thank you and I love you and stuff like that? I think you're ready. I think he's ready, too.

I think you're ready. You can just tell when a man's ready. Sass, you're ready. You're ready, brother. Happy for you. If you got a girl pregnant, would you make her abort it or would you have to kill it? Great question. Answer.

It's a great question. Should we ask Tommy? Depends on the state, of course. The state of the child? Like if it's... What, dad? Three months? Four months?

You think nine months isn't even... The state of the child isn't solid? But you know how they do it? It's a literal vacuum that goes into the vagina and sucks the living body out of there. Is it a dye sun? Thank you. A dye sun vacuum?

Sass was saying to me the other day, abortion should be legal up to their fifth birthday. I was like, I don't know, man. That's wild, buddy. You know better than me you don't miss yeah they aborted john bonnet ramsey i went to a march for life when i was like 13 which is just so weird to think about like a bus full of all boys freshmen to go what just these needs no we had to boost those numbers you're like union guys who have to go to

like uh debates political debates and stuff like that. Sometimes I feel guilty about it. Yeah. I mean, you probably saved some lives that day. Or ruined them. Whoa. I doubt 13-year-old Owen ruined a life for getting on a bus. No, I think he did.

Yeah, you definitely did. You're a piece of shit You are a Total piece of shit Did you have like a sign Did you have a poster Yeah Oh

That's a least five That's a least People read that I thought Yours were just words But like people hold Just like graphic Words

Oh you had words on yours Yeah Damn one of those What kind of signs One of those hybrid posters That's also a book. Also a book. What was the word?

Like a slur. No, I forget. It was just like pro-life, choose life, something like that. My body, your choice? Your body, my choice. You guys were on a bus? Yeah, to D.C. on a school day. Holy shit.

But you had bread bowls, though, right? How old were you? I was 13 years old. And did they make you guys do this or did you do it by choice? That was what was classic. Oh, and you see any Native Americans in their traditional garb that you wanted to? Yeah, you went toe-to-toe with.

Oh, my God. That was a totally fabricated story. Yeah. The guy just walked up to him. It was like the worstated story. Yeah. Completely. Like, completely. The guy just walked out to him. It's like the worst thing ever to create that. He just squared up with a kid, and then they made the kid out to him. And everyone just ran with it, and then a week later, they're like, yeah, that's not how it went. That guy has gotten rich.

Yeah. And the kid's life is, like, ruined. No, it was ruined, but then he, like, got into Harvard. Oh, okay. The Native American guy got into Harvard. He got $30 million off of it. He did? Yeah. The kid made $30 million off of it. He did?

Yeah. The kid made $30 million? He sued CNN. He won. He sued the Seminole tribe. He sued a shit ton. I didn't know that. That's incredible. It was like ruined

and then it was the best thing that ever happened to him. That's the best day of his life. He made millions of dollars. He owns all the hard rock cafes now. Wow. Seminoles own the hard rocks. He owns the Seminoles.

Ipso facto. Do you know the highest grossing? Wolf Blitzers is Bolt. What was that kid's name? Owen? Kyle something, right? Kyle. Who are we talking about?

I think it was a Kyle. The kid that was smirking at the Native American chief. So that was fake? That guy was not a chief either. They went to high school with that. He went to a Catholic school in Covington, Kentucky. Yeah. Here we go.

You barely know the story, though. Nathan Phillips. I only remember towns. The Native American's name was Nathan Phillips? Yeah, he was a fake Native American. Nathan is a popular Native American. He was a real Native American. Phillips, not so much. Nick Sandman. With two N's.

Yeah. Sandman. That was the year of the double continents. Nick Sandman. With two N's. Yeah. Yeah, because it was Sandman. Well, three N's. That was the year of the double consonants. David Hogg was crushing it that year. Yes, yes, double consonants. It was the double consonant boy. It was Hogg was crushing it, and then enter the Sandman.

He goes in. That was good, man. We should have Hogg on the yak. Who was Hogg again? David Hogg is Trill Ballins. What? The other one, Kyle Kashuv, DMs Jack Mack all the time. Who's Kyle Kashuv?

He was the conservative. From the park. He was like a right wing and a left wing. And he DMs Jack Mack. He DMs Jack Mack and he's like, you holding the down over red lip stool? Is anyone still red over there? That actually happened. Those are both direct quotes.

Yeah. That's so awesome. Well, to fucking rock it, David Ortiz. Yeah, that was a good segue. Shout out Section 10. Shout out good segue. Shout out Section 10. That actually is. Shout out Starting 9.

Shout out Iris. Shout out Morning Wood. Shout out Iris. He is omnipotent. Jared. What do we think is going to happen with the Ortiz-Karabas thing? Do you think it's going to do well? Or do you think it's going to be like a Bruce Springsteen-Obama podcast?

You think it's kind of just exactly what you did with A-Rod? No, it's probably different. Bro, get your weight up, not your hate up, bro. Why are you... I was more just trying to be nice to you, but yeah. See, I'm not.

I like to stir things around. Not you. Fucking Gaz Jr. I'm like Gaz Jr. Gaz Jr. On the Gaz coaching tree. Oh, Gaz Jr. KB coaching tree. Gaz coaching tree, Portnoy coaching tree.

Everything starts at Portnoy. He's like the Andy Reid of Barstool. Not the big cat coaching tree. No. I thought this was a real bat, and that's why I picked it up. You're dumb like that. And little did I know, it is not. What?

You're not just naturally that strong? This is plastic, brother. What makes that bat not real? That's a real bat. This is a real bat. Let's give you some baseball trivia. What is a full count? Three and two, brother.

What's a bach? No idea. Bach was a public high school in Philadelphia. A bach is a composer. Oh, very clever. Damn. idea. Bach was a public high school in Philadelphia. Bach is a composer. Aha! Oh, very clever. Damn. Jesus. Let's talk more about this bat thing you picked up. Are you mad at me over the video game thing?

I was joking. What? Sass, more about this bat that you picked up. That's some... Tap it again. What do you think its composition is? Sure that's not wood. Tap into the mic. I didn't think it was wood. I thought it was metal. Got it. What are bats made out of?

Wood and metal. Now you're doing the trivia? That one passed. What are three woods that bats are made of? One. Oak. No. Pine.

No. Maple. Yes. That's one. Balsam. Balsam wood. Balsam. Bamboo. No. Pine. No. Maple. Yes. That's one. Balsam. Balsam wood. Balsam. Bamboo. Ash.

Mahogany. Ash. Mahogany. Pick up that other bat, Chaz. That'll fucking really tickle your fancy. You're going to be shocked by the composition. I held that one last time. You already held that?

Yeah, he's still sore today. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. Yes, you are, dude. Yeah, you are. That's not true. What went wrong in the last 15 minutes for you?

You were cruising right along. He's a little ornery. He keeps everyone a little bit of a distance. You know, you're Tommy's dad now. Yeah, I know.

I have to buy a PlayStation 5. You guys are god brothers. Someone's got to do it. You have to do it. We'll go 50-50.

Don't take Big Cat aside and say, hey, you've got to help me with this. We'll go 50-50 on it. No, we won't. If I'm buying a PlayStation 5, I'm keeping the PlayStation 5. Sass has the keys to all my finances, so he can just take the money out. I'll buy Tommy Walker a PS5 if I can have the PlayStation 4, because mine got stolen. Okay.

That's a good deal. Okay. Why would you just buy yourself the PlayStation 5? Well, because I already promised Tommy that he could have the PlayStation 5. So you did promise him. You don't break a promise. You don't break a promise. No.

You're as good as your word. Did Tank choose a winner yet for the Frank the Tank challenge? I don't think so. No, I think he was. Maybe they can buy a PS5 for Tommy. They get the privilege. Oh, you should have a contest for who gets to buy a Tommy Walker. Tommy a PS5.

If you don't buy this thing, you will have missed. A Photoshop contest. I think the Star Wars one won. Yeah. By a lot. There's two. Well-deserved. The one that was in the top three, though.

The first one wasn't in it. The watch, check. Let's do a Photoshop contest for who can buy Tommy. But it's a Photoshop contest based around you, Sass, but for who can buy Tommy a PlayStation 5. And you get the PlayStation 4, so that incentivizes you.

You should do an OnlyFans where it's just your misses. You can pick two winners and then just keep one of the PlayStation 5s. No, no, no, that's fucking crazy. True. True. That's smart. True, true. It's probably illegal, too.

True, bro. Yeah, true. It's probably illegal, too. True, bro. Yeah, probably. They carried sass out of Yankee Stadium yesterday. They did, yeah. You were so fucked up. So fucked up. They were feeding him beer out of the World Series trophy. I noticed son of a boy dad didn't sit together at the game.

Was that a trouble? No, we switched seats like 15 times. Why? Just to keep the conversation fresh. If you stand up to pee, everybody scooted down. When you go to an event with five plus people, some of those people you may not as well be with. Yeah.

What? You may as well not be with. You may not as well be with. If you're the furthest from somebody, you can't even. Yeah. We didn't say anything. Not a thing. Passed around some sunglasses. Oh, and did the seat switching happen? If you're the furthest from somebody, you can't even. Yeah. We didn't say anything. Not a thing.

He just passed around some sunglasses. Hilarious. Oh, and did the seat switching happen? Because you seemed like you were down there at the end. Did you stay at the end? No. No, it was what Nick said. Every time someone got up, they would get the seat where they had to sit next to a stranger. But if you were with a group big enough, yeah.

I went to a bachelor party and didn't talk to half the guys. That's every bachelor party. Yeah. Oh, Roan got a little. Roan almost got the shit beat out of him by a girl at the game. That's every bachelor party. Roan got a little... Roan almost got the shit beat out of him by a girl at the game. Really? Yeah, a Dominican woman in a Red Sox jersey almost beat the piss out of me.

Wow. That's just a girl to you, though, huh? Yes. We got in a screaming match. Roan was very talk... Roan's very talky in public, though. He likes to talk to everyone that walks by him. Rowan, I agree.

You should get your ass in. I asked him when we were living. I was like, have you ever gotten the shit beat out of you? And he was like, no, never. But you don't know why either. You know you should. Oh, I definitely should. He wasn't talking.

Every time someone would leave the stadium, Rowan would go, bye, bye. I love it. Better luck next time. They were doing it to Red Sox fans. Unprompted bye. And then I started doing it to the Yankees fans who were winning the game as if I was winning the game. Did you really say it like that?

Yeah. Bye. Bye. Did you like that? Nah, nah, nah, nah. I like that. He's fucking with people. It was funny.

There's times when Roan, like, Roan, when we go on Rough and Rowdy, when it's like Roan, Caleb, and I sitting at dinner or lunch, and we basically are just doing bits on the waiter or waitress, and we have to stop ourselves. It's actually like you can't do this to some random person. I think you can. Brandon, get out there. Brandon, go.

Is this guy a Brandon fan? Are you being beckoned? He liked the push. That's what. Oh, you can. Brandon, get out there. Brandon, go. Is this guy a Brandon fan? He liked the push. Oh, you like the push. You like the push. Dude, give him a push. Give him a push. That's push. I love it.

Oh, yes. That was awesome. That was incredible. That's movie star Henry Golding. He just fucking pushed Brandon. What a move. He smelled great. All right.

That's our show. You got to end on that. Brandon's hurt. He's hurt. Way more handsome than Kenji. Way more handsome. He's also stronger than you. He's a little bit strong. He pushed you hard. There was some anger in that push. He's hurt. Way more handsome than Ken Jackson. Way more handsome. He's also stronger than you. He's a method actor.

I like that Hollywood star is like, yeah, you know what my number one moment, Barstool? The push. That's like Miles Teller liking Lenny Ball. It's the same level. How'd you find out about Barstool? Well, there was this one day that this one guy, Manchild, pushed another guy. That was legitimately starstruck. Fuck you!

That's what he brought up during the pizza review. Oh, he put up the... Fuck you! Brandon Walker, I sued you! Fuck you! Fuck you! All right. See everyone tomorrow. Tomorrow. Thank you.