The Yak - Brandon's Digging Tunnels to Avoid Dave Portnoy | The Yak 1-9-24

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

I'll hang up and listen!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Hello. Welcome to the Yak. Presented by Roback. Roback.com. Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. Q's this, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, fleeces.

What? I can hear you. Echo. Whoa, we got an Echo. Echo. Echo. Hello. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. I'm wearing this. Echo. Echo. Echo. Hello. Go back to our column.

Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. I'm wearing this. You're wearing it? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear TJ. Happy birthday to you.

Thanks, guys. I just realized, TJ, what is your name? Timothy John. I did not know. Did you guys know? I thought it was TJ. Not just TJ? Are you a junior?

I've heard it before. My dad's Timothy Francis. He was right to put the John. So the J's for John, not junior? Yeah. I guess I could be Timothy Hitchings Jr., but not Timothy. That'd be THJ, though. Isn't that what the second is if your middle name's not the same?

Like when people are, like Gary Payton II. I thought it was only the first name. You know, Gary Payton II is Gary Payton's son. But they have different middle names? I thought the second was just after the third comes. I just thought the second was a different way to say junior, and you were just being a dick. Yeah, I thought you don't say second until the third comes.

Then you go second because now it's third. Oh, I see. You have to have the third to become the second. Yeah, like you're a junior until you have a kid, and then it's the third, so now you become a second. But he was the second before. But don't you say junior? He didn't have a kid, and then it's the third. Oh, and then you graduate. So now you become the second. But he was the second before. But don't you say junior? He didn't have a kid.

He didn't have a kid. He was a junior, though. He was always the second. Ken Griffey Jr. is still junior, even though he has Ken Griffey III. Right. And he has Trey, right? I don't know. His son is Trey?

That's Trey. Possibly. Trey is if you're the third. Yes. But what is the difference between junior and second is the question. There is no difference. There's just two words for it. Correct?

There has to be a difference, Brandon. There has to be. There has to be. Otherwise, why would you do it? Why would you do it? There has to be. How could you, Brandon? I'm sorry.

Brandon, you dumb bitch. I thought we were just having a rational conversation. I'm getting angry now. Usually the suffix junior is used for a baby boy who has the same name as his father, while second is used when a baby boy is named for a male relative. Other than the father. That's weird. Also.

So who calls Gary Payton? Why is Gary Payton? Is it his uncle that's Gary Payton? No, his dad is Gary. Gary Payton. Why don't women get this? You never see it. Because what's the point?

You never get Stacy the second. Yeah, right. Are you going to date Stacy Jr.? That would be awesome. You're dating like a Cabbage Patch Kid at that point. Oh my God. You never get Stacy the second Are you going to date Stacy Jr.? That would be awesome You're dating like a cabbage patch kid Oh my god This is my girlfriend Rebecca Jr.

Do Yeah Girls should do it They need more like petite names The problem is girls They need like little princess I'm Stacy little princess too But girls then change their last name So they're no longer a junior The problem is girls. Yeah, they need like Little Princess. Little Princess. I'm Stacy Little Princess too.

Yes. But girls then change their last name, so they're no longer a junior. Yeah, but not all women. Not anymore. Most of them. Welcome to 2024. The good ones. You pig.

I'm taking my wife's last name. You can do the suffix. Suffix is such a cuck move. Yeah. That's tough. Oh, like the hyphen? Hyphen, sorry. Hyphen, yeah. Suffix. Suffix. I like the way you said that. Yeah, what's tough. Like the hyphen? Hyphen, sorry. Hyphen, yeah. Suffix. I like the way you said that.

Yeah, what's a suffix? That's like you throw it at the end. I thought suffix was like senior, junior. No, suffix is like... Suffix is like... Yeah, you can only think of one, can't you? Unbeatable, like a ball is the suffix, right?

A ball is the suffix? A ball is the suffix. Dennis Rodman was is the suffix? A bowl is the suffix. Suffix just means the end. A bowl is the suffix. Dennis Rodman was the suffix. There's a suffix. What about distinguishable? Able. That's able.

You add able to distinguish, yeah. Lunchables. Good one. And a prefix is like three or D or stuff like that, right? D distinguishable. Prefix menus. Undistinguishable has a prefix and a suffix wow this is uh i often do think i say this often but whenever i think about like people just tuning in for the first time they're just we jumped right into that and we sound like the dumbest people

in the world i like that i like when we sound dumb where's kyle? Kyle's sick. Sick as a dog. Which is very wind horse. Isn't that convenient? Isn't that convenient that the day a bunch of Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn get caught with a tunnel, Kyle is not here. That's right. It's a shame.

He's in Brooklyn right now trying to reconstruct that tunnel for the boys. I bet he's great in tunnels. Oh, yeah. I bet he's great in tunnels. Oh, yeah. He's built for them. Yeah, he's perfect for tunnels. He was built. His body was built for a tunnel. Yeah.

That clip. Zah, you've been on the case. Zah likes the Jewish tunnels. I need an explanation because it happened right when the national championship was happening. So it was one of those videos that I saw, never really processed. I did see the video of that one guy coming out of the grate, which was so funny. What a funny fucking—he looks like Meek Phil. Yes.

He's got the same energy as Meek Phil. Sure does. Yeah, just like trying to scurry away from the camera. And he like slaps the camera a little. Yeah. Can you play that for us, TJ? But can someone explain to us what is happening? Can I opt out?

Because, I mean, I think it's funny, but I'm being called names, being accused of. Here's what we'll do. Steven, I need you to spend the next 15 minutes diving into this case and then come back to us with your thoughts. I need a no-context tweet from Steven of the guy coming out of the tunnel. And also, I need all the facts on the case from you, Steven. So, this is perfect because this morning I woke up the first day I opened Twitter and I saw that video. I had no idea.

I was trying to read the comments. I was like, what is this? And then I did see a tweet that I think kind of explained it, but I still don't know what's going on. So this is not perfect. So is he just saying he saw the video? Is it in the United States? Yes.

What the fuck? New York City. So just to clarify, this is not perfect. You saying this is perfect, the follow-up should have been, I actually read about a long article about this. Yes, I know everything you need to know about this. No, there's no perfect part.

But you are now tasked with the next 15 minutes to find out everything about what's going on. This is tough because of all the conflict happening with, you know, Judaism Judaism and it's also the funniest thing in the world. It's tough for me. Big Cat, can I text you things I want to say? Sure, say whatever you want. I don't give a fuck. Empty the clip.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Empty the rocket launcher. Hold on, hold on. I'll dress up like a hospital. Now you empty the rocket launcher. Now I'll do it, yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen. You guys want the smart notes?

This show is not politically correct. Can I get the video or something? I have no idea what we're talking about. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, let's start with the video. What this is. You might be more confused after the video. Okay, wait, wait. Yeah, let's start with the video. What this is. You might be more confused after the video. Okay, wait.

No. Look, Eric, come to this video. Steven, I want you to basically create a PowerPoint presentation. Don't actually create a PowerPoint presentation. This is Meek Phil. I did not see this video. Did you see the cops raiding one of them? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And they were, like, throwing benches? Yeah, all right. Boys are riled up. Steven, find us everything, and we want to watch all the videos. Figure it all out. And you want it in video form, right? Like, we're going to play videos.

Yeah, I just want an explanation for what's going on. Before you set all that up, I've got to set something else up. At 1 o'clock Central Time, I have to go do the rundown with Big Ev and Dave Portnoy. Which I did warn you about. You did. You told me last night I did not like it. I thought I was going to be able to get out of it. I didn't.

He's going to turn the screws on you, Buckeye boys. I also didn't. I didn't try. It's terrible. Yeah, so I wanted to see. We don't want to spoil the rundown, but I think it would be good promotion for the rundown. We're going to have Brandon do the rundown on the other side of the basketball court so we can just watch

yeah his facial expressions so brandon last night as michigan was winning the national title i felt like i was just unloading some things on you because i've lived through this this has been my life for a long time of dave winning titles and i was trying to explain i said to you just so you know you're gonna have to do the rundown with ev tomorrow i've been in this seat dave is just gonna he's just gonna basically do like a 10 minute speech and then just be like thoughts yeah that's what he's gonna do no it's gotta be right i'm gonna enjoy it um here's here's one good thing yes so i explained to you last night for for people who might be new barstool fans dave did go i think five years without winning a championship

poor guy uh yeah real tough real tough but there was a time and place where barstool sports the reason why we survived as a company was dave's teams kept on winning titles and then we would sell a shitload of shirts and Dave would remind us that the reason why we all have jobs is because his teams are great Brandon he's gonna do that to you today but I wouldn't be shocked if you maybe in February got a bonus that was specifically like here's a a bonus, it's all from Michigan shirts. So that's a, like Dave would do something like that. You'd have to say no to it, right?

You'd have to say, you'd have to turn it down, be a man of integrity. If he was like, Brandon, here's $50,000, it is all from Michigan, and my team's being great. Brandon, be careful now. You'll never be able to show your face in Columbus again if you do this. My very sticking through all

of this and showing up day in day out shows i will do any goddamn thing for money that's true so if he offers any kind of bonus whatsoever for anything even if it's michigan related i'm taking it and running the problem too is dave like so when he would we would that, like, my teams are great, that's why we're still a solvent company, the issue is he was right. Yeah. You can't argue with it because, like I said, there was a time and place where it's like if one of Dave's teams doesn't win the title, we could be in trouble. But we don't need that financial help anymore.

We got mostly sports now. We got an ad yesterday. What was your ad for? Cars.com. Okay. So I think we're good. We got mostly sports now. We got an ad yesterday. That's true. What was your ad for? Cars.com. Okay. So I think we're good. Yeah. Yep.

No, Anus just got the Barstool store. Yeah. Nice. Fuck these hoes. Yeah, we did lose the Barstool Bowl sponsorship. I wonder what happened there. Yeah, we did. We were reading a lot of ads for that.

We actually had the Barstool Invitational before that. Yeah. You guys are bringing in a ton. But just so you know, Dave did tell me how much we sold and it's quite it's quite large that's good yeah we actually should we should play brandon's video you did a great job team team team team the team the team team team team what's good for the b is good for the hive what's good for the hive is good for the b did i try to run out of the building and not do the video yesterday morning yes did big cat catch me was dave smart to put me on the text message with you? Yes.

So that he knew I would make you do it? Yes. Congratulations, Michigan fans. You guys are national champions. And to celebrate this incredibly historic event, you can go to the Barstool store right now and get your championship gear. We not only have this, but you can celebrate every single victory in this 15 and 0 season with this 15 and 0 shirt it started way back in september and now you've beaten everybody on your schedule and you're number one so from

ann arbor to saginaw from grand rapids to detroit all over the great state of michigan and this country you can say hail to the victors. I hate this. With these great shirts that store it up. You did a good job, man. Yeah. That's job security. Thanks. Damn.

You crushed that. Yeah, yeah. Felt good. Felt really good. Really felt nice to be part of the guy like Dave winning something. You know? Do you think your job would be easier if you were liked? I often think about that.

I do think. So show of hands in this room, who likes Brandon Walker? No, I love you. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. It's love. I love you. So why is my entire personality getting shit on? Well, you're a douchebag.

Yeah, right. All right, okay.'re like you because right i i actually have like there's chubby chasers out there i'm a douchebag yeah nick i like called you uh he once called you a giant cunt yeah yeah well he just right here in front of me called me a douchebag tremendous douchebag uh yeah you're selfish you're mean i think you might step on others to gain popularity. Often. Very narcissistic. Your ego is out of this world.

Everything is about you at all times. How can you help me? Don't get it fucking twisted for a second. Love you to death, brother. Hard to look at. Oh, yeah. It's gotten better through time. It has.

It has. I think you might lead the league in uh we don't like you we love you yeah you might be the number one guy because i think people love you good thing to lead the league in make feel make people feel you make it yeah you're like good oh i do love you i'm deep i'm good am i i'm abstract almost you're good art yeah good Yeah. Good art makes you think. Yeah, you have to have a high intellect to fully understand how much of a douchebag you are. You're right. You're right. That's the nicest thing

I've ever heard about. Some people who are stupid will be like, no, he's just a douchebag. But the smarter you get, you're like, but there might be a redeeming quality there. You just have to stand and stare at it for a while. Yeah. Really take it in like great example of this just like ferris bueller looking uh it's like the monet yeah great example of who brandon walker is

this morning i text uh or brandon texts the group mostly sports group and goes i want to do youtube videos which is a bit he's done before on the show i have a playlist of videos i want to show to cheer titus and i up for mich Michigan winning the national championship I responded that's funny because I have Brandon already introduced the idea so I knew Michigan was going to win I had prepared a playlist as well so I texted the group I was like I was ahead of you already Brandon I started preparing my list last night and Brandon's immediate thought was oh awesome we can have a competition to see who's better that's what he texted the group he's like let's just have a competition but that would have been great no dude I was like we're supposed to lift each other up

but his mindset was like all right well fuck you i'll be better than you yeah i i also i mean i've said this a million times but brandon you are uh probably the number one guy who can take it yeah don't get enough credit for it yeah oh i can fucking take it yeah you really take yeah should we test the limits as much as my question oh yeah it's like a it's like um that makes sense it's like living in like a earthquake zone if you don't do some stress tests right john taffer taught us this yeah if you don't stress yeah if you don't stress test and then you open up a new bar it could crumble so we got a constantly stress test granted you chose harder dick over mental sanity correct you could goddamn right i did yeah sure did we're still waiting for the point where

we all shut it down because we found the limit we're very close like the mousetraps with the mousetraps yeah the mousetraps we almost shut it down ron saved that for you yep yep yep that's a fact ron might be here on Monday for the Eagles Bucks. I would like that. That is going to be a must-watch stream. Stephen Chay versus the city of Philadelphia. Oh, yeah. He actually, I forgot.

Full circle, he won a Jalen Hurts. Oh, yeah. That's right. Oh, yeah. Zoopy, you could just move the table. Have you guys ever seen the Wikipedia page for donkey punch? You could just move the table, yeah. For what?

Donkey punch? The sexual maneuver? Yeah. Okay, no. It's got the funniest tabs of any Wikipedia page. It goes bar for bar, best tabs on a Wikipedia page. Really? What led you to that Wikipedia page today?

I don't know, man. I just... Yeah, look up the wikipedia for donkey punch and find me a better group of tabs i don't know how deep let's scroll down yeah urban legend pornography enron scandal and jeopardy wait it goes to enron skin yeah man hey do it on that side that plug over there because we don't want to hear them yeah hmm the enron skin yeah that's got it all why is jeopardy bar for bar best tabs was it a answer in jeopardy don't know oh we got a click right wait no well that that would just go to jeopardy well now i i gotta ask do other sexual positions have tabs like that? Not like that. Okay.

Not like that. What's the tabs for a Cleveland Steamer? Or a rusty trombone? Yeah. Remember when you learned all those phrases when you were a kid? I thought that's what Dirty Sanchez. I thought I'd be doing that a lot. I know.

I thought that was knowledge I'd need for the rest of my life. Yeah, in like seventh grade, you're like, I can't wait to donkey punch. I let my personal trainer back in Tupelo borrow me. Wait, go on. Go on, but wait. Pause. This was before I started here.

It was five years ago. I let him, I plugged into my Netflix at his studio, right? And I let him have my Netflix password, right? And when I got home a couple weeks later, when I got home a couple weeks later, no, he had changed my profile name to Dirty Sanchez.

So I had every one of my kids' names, my wife's name, and then Dirty Sanchez. And I, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out. I think I thought I figured it out. I think he just kept changing it back. That's a good bit. Now, remind me of the dirty sin.

That is shit on your finger and a mustache. That's smearing poop on the lip. That's way dirtier than just dirty. That's a filthy sin. Yeah. Yeah. That's disgusting. And the steamer is shitting on the chest.

Shitting on the chest. We all know that. Wish Dana were here. Didn't he get shit on his chest? yeah um i just want to just clarify one thing when we said we thought we'd be doing all those things i never was hoping to do a rusty trombone i don't know what that is what is that one it's eating a guy's ass out while you jerk him off oh it's like playing the trombone okay and a blumpkin his head while you're shitting. Yeah, that I thought I was going to get all the time.

I thought for sure. I thought that would be a regular. I thought that was like once you tell a girl you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, it's like instant Blumpkins. Happy Valentine's Day. Would you accept that? Never. No, it's gross, Buck. Maybe.

Imagine if a girl was into that. Not from a woman you love. I'm disgusted by my own shit. Yeah, you can't say, no, you can't accept that. No. I think you can just to say you did. What if that's the only time she offers that? Who would you tell?

But not from a woman you love. Everyone. I wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that. No way. That has to be like a, we're done here. Yeah, what other shit has she done? Nah, I'd be like, baby, I love you. If I had gotten a Blumkin, you guys would know.

You'd be bending over on the toilet. We would know. Hissing her forehead. As there's explosive diarrhea coming out of my eyes. If you got a Blumpkin, you'd come into work levitating. Yeah. If you could shit and cum at the same time. You can, buddy.

I'm saying, but have that happen? I don't know if you can. No, I don't know if you can. You should maybe try. Oh, Donnie's here. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie.

Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie.

Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie, by the way, for people who haven't, Donnie was on his honeymoon. Donnie is right now in a big time, big time undercover cop that everyone knows is a cop face. Yes. Wow. Yeah.

You're the coppiest looking. He looks fucking awesome. Because he's got a tan. Yeah. He's got, he just looks, He looks like Joe Pistone. He looks like Donnie Brasco. You a cop? A cop.

No cops don't have tans, right, though? Undercovers, maybe. Well, undercovers. California. Yeah. California cops. Miami cops. They look like a Boston cop, though, so they would be pale.

Very pale. Beverly Hills cop, tan. Paleest cops in America. Yeah. Yeah, you have big cop energy right now. With the Yeezys, too? Yeah. Fake Yeezys that my father-in-law brought me from china oh hell yes nice yeah you're the you're in the videos in like the new york city subway when people just take video and they're like this

guy's trying to be undercover but he's so clearly a cop could i be a fireman yeah your firemen have so much better than cops. Yeah. Everyone loves firemen. You should just start working on some like electrical stuff. Johnny Hampton. I should start a fire here and then be the one who puts it out. Yeah. I don't want to be involved with that.

I would be the hero. Why? Didn't go well last time. What fire was? Oh, when you guys did Jerry after. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's he doing, by the way? It's tonight he's keeping his secret okay but um he didn't he said he was too sorted to do the boston jr-a-thon so lucas had to think on the fly so lucas and i had a meeting yesterday

and came up with something that i think will be very good um yeah I want him to eat a gallon of water with a fork. I saw that video. Did you also see the video? Did you see the dude who chopped down a tree with a pea shooter? Like metal balls? No. Okay, that's awesome. Took him like 500 shots.

Yeah. Tell me about the fork in the water, though. How would you even pull that off? Oh, it's crazy. There's a – TJ, I'll send it to you. It's crazy. You drop set of time, I assume. Yeah, but it took the guy like seven hours.

You just dip the fork in, and then water gets on the forearm. Your forearm would get destroyed from that. Yeah, but the amount of water you're getting on one forkful is minimal. Wait, hold on. Mook. Yeah. You think your forearm would get destroyed from lifting a fork? For seven hours?

Yeah, but he swung a club for two and a half days. Yeah, but he was sore as shit. Yes. I think he would be less sore. Imagine just going like this for seven hours. No, that would make you sore. A hundred percent, yeah. Yeah.

Doing anything for seven hours. Oh, yeah. This is just a glass. That's taking a long-ass time. I don't know. It's like 23 seconds. He's very fast. Yeah, he's moving.

That's like major pain. He's probably getting head during this. Yeah. Hmm. How do you get the end, though? Bro just ate water. Yeah, that's a good... How do you get the end? though? Bro just ate water. Yeah, that's a good... How do you get the end?

I was saying you went to TJ. The guy had a fucking, like... It was like three gallons. Oh, God. There's multiple of this? Oh, yeah. Huh. Listen, we learned yesterday.

The internet's a... The internet's something. Sure is. Wow. Oh, here he goes. Yeah. Look at this fucking guy. He's having fun.

For 50 minutes. Let's see what we're hearing. Scroll to the end. Let's see how long it took. Does the water get dingier from it being in his mouth? I mean, he's two hours in and it hasn't moved. Oh, my God. All of a sudden, something happens. He's got a full beard.

This is just degrading to him. How do you even... Oh, yeah, he's going to have to cut it. Well, that didn't finish. Do it again, bro. DNF. He's like, damn, that sucked. Forgot to hit record.

Yeah, so those are some of the things that... Can we write Che a tunnel tweet? Yeah. He's hard at work right now. We had Che working on the tunnels in Brooklyn, the Orthodox Jews, those tunnels. Did you see his story? No.

All right, well, you'll find out soon. Yeah. Good. We actually have someone who has no context, so this will be good. You can grade Che's explanation. He's researching right now. Donnie, how was your vacation?

Where were you? French Polynesia. Wow. Where is that? France. If only KB was here, he would know exactly where it is. It's like a five-hour flight south of Hawaii. So did you land in Hawaii?

I flew from Los angeles straight to french polynesia yeah tahiti's the main island and then there's another island morea and then i went to bora bora i'm sure you guys may have heard of bora bora for sure it looked incredible it was beautiful yeah it was the rainy season so we had a few days of rain at the start but it cleared up you had a shark scare uh yeah i like i wanted to swim across this bay and i got in the water and then there's a bunch of locals there and they're like looking at my wife and they're they're being like yo he's crazy like shark shark shark and then um i like i i saw this going on so i looked back and i was like what are they telling you kira and she was like um they're saying shark but they're just trying to fuck with you it's fine

and so i was like your wife was trying to kill you she qualified to say that this was your honeymoon yeah okay um and so then i turned around and there's a dorsal fin coming right at me. Holy fuck. I don't think those sharks attack. They could be reef sharks. But you also don't, your brain doesn't process fear. Yeah. It was a little jarring seeing that fin because I thought they were joking around. Breaking news.

We have a guest. We have a guest? Beef? Breaking news. Oh, no.. We have a guest? Beef? Breaking news. Oh, no. Yeah, can you hear me? Oh, hey! There he is!

What up, boss man? Hey, I just want to call in and say hello to the Yak and my favorite people today. I don't know what you guys have been discussing. I thought a good topic, if there's any big college football fans on this show whose entire identity is college football and living in the South and being a redneck in SEC football, I'm coming off a national championship, and there's nothing like it. You wake up in the morning, you're reading every headline, you're reading the local papers,

you're reading your enemies' papers. You can't get enough information. It's top of the world. So I thought we'd just go around the horn on the yak and yak it up and go, when you team won the national title and you were at the top of the world, what did you do for the next 24 hours? How did you celebrate? Let's start with the guy.

I think there's some Walker guy on this show who lives and dies college football. That's all he cares about. Let's start with his story of what it's like to be kings of college football. I'll hang up and listen. Thank you. Bye, Dave. Thanks, Dave. Bye, Dave.

Has he called into every show today? I guess we should do what he says. Brandon, Dave. Thanks, Dave. Bye, Dave. Go Big Blue. Has he called into every show today? I guess we should do what he says. Brandon, what's it like? Brandon, I would like to hear what it's like, but I also have a very specific question for you. Didn't Michigan cheat? No, no, this is for you. This is for you.

I only want you to answer this. Didn't Michigan cheat? They were the best team in college football this year. Oh, so they didn't cheat. They won. They beat Washington 34-13 last night. Brandon, we just got to figure out how you can get this back. If I point at you, you got to tell me.

Yeah, I know, but Brandon is Ariel. He made a deal with Ursula. He's lost his voice, and I have to be – my analogy is falling apart here because I don't remember The Little Mermaid that well, but we got to get to – He has to kiss Dave. No, he has to become a teenage black woman and then do a remake. And then say that the whole story's a little rapey

yeah yeah that's snow white oh that was okay um uh little mermaid too little mermaid kiss the girl they were like you can't you have to you have to get consent for people who don't know brandon has uh signed a blood oath with dave this was what we were at 2cu yeah uh at wisconsin he tried to make maybe it was wisconsin it was he tried to do it with me and i was like what's the deal yeah there was no upside uh if michigan won the national title brandon from the moment the the clock hit zero he was never able to talk about michigan potentially cheating ever again in my defense going back to that day wisconsin which was i don't know 10 weeks ago now michigan's not going to win the national title well they did michigan's not going to win why would i even consider what i'm

getting on a blood oath michigan's michigan can't win a national championship and then yeah and then of course it happened but donnie you were in the middle of a great story. Yeah, it was a decent story. You're swimming in big blue. Yes. And dorsal fin coming right at me. I ran out of the water. It was murky water.

If it was clear water, I could see the shark. I don't know. It would be a little less scary. That doesn't really change it. Doesn't change it. Well, we went swimming with sharks in this one place, and they were, like, all around us, but, like, we're told not to fear them because they won't attack unless you, like, poke them.

Oh, okay. Dan, you would poke them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you would poke them. I'd poke it right next to you and then get out of the water. Yes. I also got to pet a lot of rays, and it made me think of you. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I still got to go and try to get... I think I still have the record, but I might as well break my own record. How confident are you if a shark was attacking you that you would have the wherewithal to punch it in the face? I'd fuck it up. I'd fuck it up. No problem.

Oddly 100%, which is wrong. No, it's not wrong. You know what I would do? I'd fucking... I'd get one hand, stop it. Stiff arm. And then I'd grab it by the gills and basically peel it like an orange. Smart. It is smart, right? that's immature i'd diffuse the situation with words a shark hey man hey listen this isn't you come on some of my best friends are sharks

i didn't mean no shit i'm friends with sharks dude yeah come on have you ever pet a ray in the wild or no shed no i would not do that that steve irwin taught us that's right yeah not to do that the cayman islands though they do it it's pretty commercialized yeah i was very confused kind of sit there and waste high water and they just is that where the pigs are too with the supermodels uh that's the bahamas that's the bahamas uh those pigs by Bahamas. Those pigs, by the way, best life ever? Just like the hottest chicks go up and feed you every day? Yeah.

You're so cute. Yeah, if you could die and be one animal, I think I'd be the pig in the Bahamas. Yeah, but pigs don't care about hot chicks. Oh, they do. Everybody cares about hot chicks. There's probably pigs that have better lives. If you say something to a hot chick, what does she call you? A pig. Yep.

Okay. And those pigs are living in slop. Yeah. All right. Oh, those pigs can tell like a hot chick versus like a flat cloth. I think dogs can too. Oh, yeah. Dogs can.

Dogs certainly. Dogs know. Dogs definitely know hot chicks. Dogs know hot chicks. They gravitate. Yeah. Hot chicks and couches. Yes.

But dogs could be gay because they just love dudes. What? Oh, they're a man's best friend. Man's best friend. Well, they're friends. I mean, maybe they're incels. Maybe they're just on that Andrew Tate shit. They're just so.

Is having a group of boys gay? Dogs get their nuts chopped off, so are they trans? True. Are dogs trans? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Trans best friend. Trans trans yes yeah trans best friend i wouldn't be shocked if that happens in the next like five to ten years a big outcry of like we're making our dogs trans we have to stop yeah it's happening somewhere now that feels like

that's that's just has a mutilating That's on the bingo card coming up. Yeah. We put them in collars. We dress them up. Yeah. Give them treats. This is bullshit. Pussification of America.

Stop chopping our dogs' balls off. Let the dogs fuck. It is kind of crazy that we chop their balls off. And that's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. Yeah. Responsible. Right.

We decided it was the right thing to do. Bob Barker. Bob Barker. Bob Barker, I wouldn't know. I think dogs would be okay living in a world that's overrun by dogs. No way. There's a social order. They know that.

You don't think they wish there were more of themselves? No. I think they're just happy to be here. They could take over the world. I don't think they have the wherewithal to want more of the world. They're too horny, right? Mm-hmm. Well, all animals are horny. I think, are they the horniest animal?

No. No, it's not even close. What's the horniest animal? Well, you got pigs hanging out with titties. True. Monkeys fuck all the... Dolphins are the... Dolphins are horny as shit.

Dolphins are horny. They'll rape you in a heartbeat, right? Yeah, if you, like, accidentally touch their clitoris, they'll just start humping you. Oops. I've accidentally touched your clit. That's actually how I learned what a clitoris was. We were swimming with dolphins when I was 10 years old.

You're making it sound like a Greek warrior. Clitoris. Yeah, I was like 10, and then the dolphin instructor was like, whatever you do, don't touch their clitoris. Don't finger its pussy. Sorry, I was like 10, and then the dolphin instructor was like, whatever you do, don't touch their- Don't finger its pussy. The tourists, because they might start to hump, and we won't be able to get them off you. I had to ask my parents what it was.

Yeah, there was a story about a dolphin killing itself because it fell in love with a guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think it was fucking the dolphin. He was. And then he denied the dick. I might just be like, I swear I touched the clit accident.

He's telling me to do this. Speaking of dogs, did you see Jim Harbaugh, coach of Michigan? Before every game, they would watch nature videos. Because he said he'd have his whole team sit around and watch wolf nature videos. Because wolves are the perfect pack of fighters. Yeah. Fight as a team. Yeah.

And then their quarterback would meditate on the field before every game. Definitely wasn't just doing it for the attention. Yeah. JJ McCarthy's mental health was a big topic. A lot of talk about that mental health. Alpha brainwaves. It's tough for a man to talk about it. Yeah.

Jack. Jack Mack had a he he he knows how to hit the right buttons on on twitter he had one that was i don't know if you can find a tj about uh who was the quarterback who was smoking a cig during halftime uh lynn dawson lynn dawson for the chiefs you find that tj he's he hit the bingo card for like how can i get yeah is it red pill or blue pill? More than anybody, I think Jack Mack knows his strike zone. Yeah, no, and he hammers it. Yeah.

Well. He gets his pitch and destroys it. Right. Super Bowl I, QB at halftime, smoking a cig. Tonight, J.J. McCarthy therapist doing a mental health check in the fourth quarter. How's that saying go? Hard times create strong men. That's a perfect tweet. What's the's the uh interaction like on that like how many oh it's probably went

yeah see i know jack's not being serious but he knows that he can hit that and people yeah what were the what were the retweets look at that 852 kb likes to meditate is he just doing for is he just doing it for is he just doing it for attention he doesn't wait till a football game starts no but he'll do it in public he'll do it before we start shooting videos anybody who publicly cares about their mental health it's only for attention

it's a fact oh Reddit AMA we were having this we were having this discussion the other day do you think that like you know how anytime someone gets in any type of hot water they're like mental health yes do you think draymond green was the limit because he tried to do it and everyone's like nah you're just a dick for the punching yeah yeah he said he was going to retire yeah he, he's like, well, I hope he gets – I saw a couple people try to say, like, I hope Draymond gets help.

It's like, no, he's just an asshole. He's an angry guy. I think that was – is the term concern trolling? I think they were doing that to troll Draymond. Oh. Like, when Draymond gets suspended and Rudy Gobert is like, I hope he gets the help he needs. That is –

That, yes. That is such a – I didn't know Rudy said that. Yeah. That's awesome. That's a great way – that's a good fuck you that's like on the surface classy. Yeah, like I'm here for you. Saying to someone, I hope you get the help you need is – that cuts.

Yeah. Like Trump says that shit. Yeah. On purpose. Yeah. I hope you get the help you need. But, yeah, he said he was going to retire from the NBA. He called Adam Silver and said, all this adversity I'm going through.

Yeah. Someone did a deep dive outside of Jordan Poole. Like, Draymond only beats up Euro guys. That's what I would do. Yeah. He just goes after only Euros. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Maybe Dray after only euros. Yeah. Fair.

Yeah. Maybe Draymond is just the last great American. We thought about that. Yeah. That's a great point. Protecting the red, white, and blue. This was the 80s. He just wanted to find his spot on the basketball team for the Olympics.

Great switch. Yeah. True patriot. Draymond Green is trying to keep the NBA American. That's all he's doing. Is that so wrong? He's fighting former Soviet countries. Yeah.

True. No one ever told Draymond the Cold War was over. Yeah. That's our fault. Oh, wow. He could spin it any way. I'm pro Draymond. Yeah.

We should just become the worst PR for hire. Because that would be our great crisis moment. Like, hire us. Like, hire the worst PR. Because then you actually will look bad and the person will look good. I would love to write a notes app for somebody. Yeah. With their signature at the bottom.

Yeah. Would you go dark mode or light? I think it depends on the person. Barack Obama. Dark mode. Give me another. Patrick Mahomes. Dark mode.

Mahomes' baby Don't answer that Max Crosby Dark Moe Shohei Otani Are you waiting yeah uh this one's normal notes i don't think he'd do anything that would he's never going to do anything wrong that's what they always say this is your bad pr guy you gotta always expect the unexpected no shohei wouldn't we're the biggest pro shohei show in the world that's true that's fact. Japanese people haven't been canceled since World War II, I don't think.

They've been on a hot streak. That's actually true. I don't know. I have no idea if that's true. Who was the last bad Japanese guy? Godzilla. Yep, Godzilla. I was going to say probably a movie villain.

What, who? Even in movies. Who was the... Didn't they get someone assassinated? Recently. Yeah, they killed him. They stabbed him in the neck. Yeah. And that's one of those situations.

But I don't know who. What I'm about to say is probably going to be, this could shoot him fucked up. But let me just say that in the countries where they don't have, like, guns everywhere, you should never assassinate someone. But. Oh, okay.

I thought that was it. You're going to say that. You do get, like, a little more credit if you're able to do the stabbing. I'm saying they earned it. Yeah, that's, like, that's hard work. To assassinate somebody while touching them is insane. Right. Like, do you throw up your hands?

You're like, got me. You got through. You know you're not getting away with it. Right. Right, exactly. You also know that there's a chance it won't catch. Yeah. After the assassination, it's just like a postgame where you're daffing them up.

Yeah, you're like, dude, good work. We never thought I would get that close. Did a hell of a job out there, man. Yeah. Used a butter knife? Yeah. This guy. Shizu Abe.

Abe. Abe. So how was he assassinated? Was it a knife? Dead. Two days before July 10th. Wait. Go down to death.

Shouldn't there be... This is grim. Let's go to the let's go to the tunnels abe was assassinated oh is this his see how he was i don't see enron enron scandal in jeopardy it may have been a gun pro shade from behind and fired oh it was a gun okay never mind i thought it was like a homemade firearm yeah 3d printed maybe damn what do you see oh i mean if the guy made his own gun yeah i would say power ranking it's got to be knife well no it's gonna be hands uh-huh knife homemade gun i mean

if you assassinate somebody with your hands you just whip their ass tj pull up the tier list let's tear ways to assassinate poison has to be the worst way. Poison? That's the pussiest way. I got one. What about heartbreak? What if you make them fall in love with you so deeply they just die? That happened to a dolphin once. Yep.

Yep. Touch the clit. Yeah. Mark Clayton, I believe. What about bombs? Drone strike? What do we think about bombs? Nah, drone strike's a pussy way.

That's a pussy move. That's a pussy way. But what about the old-fashioned bomb under a car? Much collateral damage. That's still kind of pussy. You're not confident enough in your abilities. At that point, you're saying, I have to throw a wide blast out there. Right.

It's blow dart. It's blow dart. You need to be within five or ten feet of the guy, right? What about a grenade? Oh. Oh. Assassination tier list. Trank.

Or is this just ways to die shark to die okay north korea assassinated someone they had like a cute girl walk up behind him and then uh injected a syringe i think like a quick syringe was it was a syringe or did she spit poison in his face i think there was a spitting of poison there was that too well how would she not get that the antidote i think the spitting of poison was There was that too. Well, how would she not get that? The antidote. I think the spitting of poison was like to their relatives or something like that. Yeah, that happened in an airport. Half-brother. Yeah.

Yeah, half-brother. Look that up, TJ. Wasn't he mad that he went to Disney World or something? I don't know. I might be completely making that up. Like holding poison in your mouth. What a badass move. Not a badass not a badass that's badass the assassin was wearing the funniest shirt i remember if you can look that up the video

she was wearing like a like a shirt that a teenage girl would wear is that better or worse i would throw you off yeah it would definitely throw him off does bin laden count as an assassination or is that like a mission? Oh. Like, because it doesn't really. That's not an assassination. That was revenge. Because we don't recognize him as having any power, right? Like, he's not an elected.

He's a leader, and we were killing him. Well, he wasn't a recognized leader, was he? But when you think of assassination, don't you think of just like a dude? He has to be elected to office. Or. Like a high profile. Maybe not. Maybe it to be elected to office. Or like a high profile. Maybe it's not. Yeah, maybe it's just high profile. The assassin's chair just said, lol.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Brutal way to die. Oh, no. Oh, that's false. Lol. What a troll. Yeah, that's a good question.

I think that was just a badass revenge. I think it's technically An assassination But it doesn't fit the same Right Vibe as all the others Imagine getting assassinated In the Rickroll song please You can buy the shirt

The actual one 6300 yen So what Do we have the story Of what she did She spit poison I think We need to go get some pens Pens?

Yeah Oh we like Japanese pens They make the best pen No of what she did, she spit poison, I think. We need to go get some pens. Pens? Yeah. Oh, we like Japanese pens. They make the best pen. Ooh. They make the finest point. Can I have one? Point three eight.

It's the one we always write with. But then Brandon will lose his and then lose the caps and then they dry up and... I'll take his. Take mine. How many pens do you think you lost in your life? Thousands. Thousands. Yeah. I finished a chapstick

tube this morning what yeah in one go no what no that's actually probably a tiktok challenge six months from now yeah finish one go i don't think i've ever finished a chapstick before in my life it's like my third or fourth we're keeping these things fucking plush we're bees in the other day again on the eyelids yeah love awesome do you love it yes i love bees have you seen you could hallucinate if you cut a ping pong ball in half and lay under a red light bulb like you put the half of the ping pong balls over your eyes? What? Oh.

Yeah. We should try that. Yeah, we should. We should absolutely try that. All right, Kim Jong-nam died after being exposed to an ex-V nerve agent in Kuala Lumpur. An Indonesian woman and a Vietnamese woman were charged with murder,

but said they thought they were taking part in a TV prank. That's a good excuse. So I think someone may have just walked up to them and be like, we're filming a prank show. You just have to go up and squirt this on that guy and that's the prank. Wow. Okay, we have breaking news.

Hit the news button again. Again? Breaking news. Breaking news. This is an email from Paige, who is our office manager. Incredible at her job. Shout out, Paige. Really good.

Says the title of the email is Fiscal Oversight of the Balancing Automobile Lot Location Changes. After further discussion, there are going to be a few changes to the above-mentioned department. As president of operations, Stephen Che will be demoted to junior analyst. The F in fiscal will also be changed to female. If you would like your toes shaved, please schedule accordingly with Stephen. Wow. Thank you for understanding. Best page. President of operations,

female, oversight of the balancing automobile lot location. Girl boss. So, junior. And you have to shave toes? Yeah. I have some hair. I'm going to say it right Yeah. I have some hair. I'm going to say it right now. I would like to see that operation meet once a quarter. Once a month, actually.

So all women in the office and Stephen Che. And he'll shave your feet. That would be great. That would be great. Why did you have to do that? Take your fake title from the fiscal operations of balancing automobiles? Steven, all you have to do is go look in a mirror and smirk, and that's why I had to do it.

Wait, Che, what is your Twitter bio right now? Does this have it in there? Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Because we might just have to add junior. Yeah, and also make it known that it's female what do you mean kind of it says VP of football ops at

Barstool Sports Twitter bio is my own my thoughts are not reflective of my company people will see that and think that you put out a bad tweet you're misrepresenting the company I misrepresent the company all the time yeah that's not a bad defense it's not a good defense

you're incriminating yourself i've been murdering people this whole time now you care do you guys want to learn about uh these jewish yes yes here do the do the uh hi new ad and let's do it. Dibs on first toe shaming. Nice. Wow. Tim John up there. All right, guys. The High Noon Snowbird Pack is here now, folks. Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter.

Introducing the all-new High Noon Snowbird Pack featuring a perfect mix of winter and summer flavors. The eight-pack includes two new flavors raspberry and plum along with high noon classics peach and lemon all made with real vodka and real juice the snowbird pack is a winter exclusive you better get it before the ice melts folks track down a pack nearest you at highnoonspirits. New flavors, the raspberry and plum. All right, Steven. All right. So Crown Heights, area of Brooklyn.

I'm going to be honest. I'm not going to be able to pronounce a lot of these things. The Chabad Lubavitch World Headquarters in Crown Heights. So I guess that's a synagogue. I went to Hebrew school once, so I think I have the right to do a lot of this uh okay talking um a lot of uh teenagers uh or early 20s guys labeled as extremists uh tried to dig into uh into tunnels to expand the synagogue there were previous rights over how large it could be and where the property line was. So I guess they tried to expand the property line. They dug into people complained because they could hear weird noises coming from underneath their homes.

So they dug under it with apparently tiny hammers, very much like that Shawshank Redemption. Very famous movie. Yes. So it was discovered. The police got called. The police went to go fill. There's like a cement mixer that tried to fill in the tunnels. And the whole skirmish is the local Orthodox Jewish people, I guess the extremists that were trying to expand,

were trying to block the cement truck from filling it in. So police got involved and there was a little bit of a tussle there, but that's the big story. Let's watch the videos, but it sounds like they just kind of, like I get it, property lines and all that stuff, but they were just kind of

guys being dudes. Yeah, they're digging. They're building a tunnel with your boys. They're fired up. Is that the entrance to the tunnel to the right? It looks like there are several entrances to the tunnel. Getting ready for a day at the office.

So why are they destroying that stuff? I think they're pissed off. It's like a riot. They spent all that time on the tunnel and they're just filling it in. I think that tunnel should stand. If you could build a tunnel. So the synagogue leadership is very upset with this group of who they're labeling extremists because they are saying they did not approve this or whatever.

It's kind of a cloudy situation. A lot of people, teens, early 20s, were working on this. They were trying to build a hangout. There's one creepy part. They pulled a bed out and it had some questionable stains on it.

What bed doesn't? Isn't it wildly dangerous to just build tunnels under pre-made buildings and just collapse? Yes. So what's going on is apparently within the synagogue there's two rival factions. And the minority faction is the one that owns the building. And they're the ones that said no to these extremist guys. They just went ahead and did it anyway. We got a Jets and a Sharks situation.

Yeah, no, the danger is high, Brandon, but if you told me a bunch of bros built a tunnel so they could have a little more space to hang out with each other, I'm like, that's kind of cool. I'd be open to it. Yeah, I kind of want a tunnel now. Yeah. Hamas has a ton of tunnels.

Really? Yeah, that go under the border. Tunnels are fucking cool. What are you thinking for your tweet, Shay? Are you going to tweet something about this? When the teacher says you can't build tunnels anymore? Yeah. Do the unruly mob and

say when teacher says it's going to be an indoor recess. Yeah. That's pretty good. What about when your teacher tells you no matter how far you dig, you'll never get to China? Every kid tried to dig to China. For the future tweet,

for reference, I'm not anti-Semitic. I'm very... We'll find out by... We'll find out by the tweet. We'll find out by the tweet. We'll judge that by the tweet. You could be if you... TJ, I'm going to need you to approve the tweet, please. Okay.

Tim John. Sounds like a cool, like, luxury menswear. Yeah, I hate it. You hate your name? I've never been Timothy or Timmy at any point. I hate it. Tim Johns. You hate your name? I've never been Timothy or Timmy at any point. I was TJ

day zero of life. Like in the in the emergency room. I was TJ. Maybe TJ. TJ. Tim John? Yeah.

Yeah. Like you're wearing your Oh, are you wearing that new Tim Johns? Tim Jong-un. Tim Jong-un. Oh. Let's call him up. Timmy John Tim Jong-un. Tim Jong-un. Oh. What's going on?

Timmy John. Timmy Johns. Timmy Tim Tim. Timmy Tim. Timbo. Good name. Timbo. Good name.

Great name. Strong name. TJ, happy four years. Happy ten years to Trent. Wait, did you get hired on your birthday? I got full-timed on my birthday, yeah. Holy fuck. I thought Loud Sean might have been firing me, but I was wrong.

Oh, Loud Sean, Relic. Yeah, Trent, 10 years. I remember when we were in the car and Dave was like, I found this security guard in Iowa. I was like, he sold a shitload of shirts.

What were the shirts that he sold? It was like a Fran McCaffrey shirt, I think. Okay. Yeah, Trent did a good job of like getting noticed back in the day happy to have trent trent's a fucking all-around great guy yeah yeah he is simple as the day is long but good man i almost feel like they canceled barstool los angeles around the same time that they added barstool iowa it was like it's a one for one timeline was yeah the uh demographics yeah what it's now foreplay has a video with tiger coming out yeah they just announced that yeah i knew about it for a while are they playing they play with him you'll see oh well tell me just

i don't want to no no. It's not a spoiler. Is it an interview? Watch the video. Okay. I'm excited. Are they announcing a collab now that Tiger's a free agent? Oh, Tiger only wearing store.barcelsports.com. He wins the Masters in a 15-year-old Michigan shirt.

But only foreplay merch. He wins the Masters in an anus shirt. We got to get Tiger on anus. Untell this bitch. An untell this bitch holding a gun. We got to get him in that. Brandon's begun the rundown. Do they drug test in golf? For like weed?

Oh. Get Tiger in a barstool coach? I don't know at all. I don't know at all. I don't know at all. Yeah, so this is Brandon doing the rundown right now. He's going to be. Oh, he's just figuring out shit right now. We don't even have to.

Brandon, keep your voice down. Keep your voice down. Talking to the mic. Indoor voices, Brandon. Yeah, don't talk. You don't talk so loud. Indoor voice. Don't talk so loud. indoor loud indoor voice don't talk

so loud that's how he's talking man i guess that's a good defense that's how he's talking that's how he talks brandon does just find himself in these situations all the time no he gets drug into him yeah no but he like i don't think he could avoid them. I think it's his stature, his build, his voice. He can't help himself. Is he in personal hell right now or is he somewhat enjoying this? I don't think he's been happy for a real long time. Yeah.

At least his dick works though. Yeah. He's got a rock hard cock. But for what sad yeah what he already has all the kids he needs like he's not having more kids he could probably use another kid he teased it a couple years ago he did like I'm gonna make another kid he's teasing yeah no he was he's I don't make a kid this year I think he was doing that to like Cause we were being mean to him

Yeah And he was like Well I'm gonna have a kid I'll show you I'll impregnate my wife Then you can't make fun of me For anything I'll fuck my wife

I think that's like In Mississippi That's just like Your net worth Is how many kids you have Yeah My net worth is five Yeah

How much is Brandon Walker worth? Five five five kids walkers are doing well it does kind of correlate like if you can afford to have a larger home yeah yeah most of the large families i knew growing up though like weren't too well off yeah more like well if you only had two kids those two kids would be like doing really well but because you had six now every kid like doesn't have enough clothes and yeah lack of birth control it's like the beginning of idiocracy where the uh the the couples with money are really evaluating whether they can afford a child yeah when will the right time to be to have a child all that sort of thing and the people

without minors like let's just fuck yeah let's just fucking see what happens pumping them out dude poor people fuck the best yeah they all take care of each other too if you if you have enough kids i feel like once you get over like five or six i would imagine they start the young yeah brandon had one now tommy would just raise the kid. Right, exactly. You just have babysitters in-house. Because you get enough of an age difference. Yeah. Because I just got fucking three kids that just, I have to do everything for them. Yeah.

Should have stretched it out. Mook, we got to get you a kid. Who's the next person on the act to have a kid? Brandon? Brandon Brandon again KB KB KB would be such a good dad

Great dad Yeah he'd be good Or bad No No really good He'll be good he'll be great I think his kid's gonna like grow up to be like That kid's a good kid

If I had a kid right now I'd be a monster Yeah you'd have a bad little kid I'd have a bad little boy You'd grow up to be like, that kid's a good kid. If I had a kid right now, I'd be a monster. Yeah, you'd have a bad little kid. I'd have a bad little boy. You'd grow up overnight. I would have to. Yeah. I don't think I would, though. No, you would.

You have no choice. It's a chemical thing. But you having a baby in that apartment, I don't know what you'd do. I can barely fit a plant in there. Have a kid. I'll give you my kid for a weekend. I don't think you want to do. I can barely fit a plant in there. Have a kid. Should I have a kid? I'll give you my kid for a weekend. I don't think you want to do that.

Test run it. See how good it is. Can I bring him out? Yeah. Are you done, Dan? Yes. Oh, yes. Are you?

Three was a lot. I haven't even started. Are you going to have your tubes tied or your tubes snipped? Discussions happen. I'm scared of it. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I got one friend who had like a bad-

After all the stuff we said about Pete? Yeah, had a bad surgery. So I'll just pull out. What happened? He just like, it never like healed correctly. Dude. Is it coming out like that one setting on the hose? Like the chance of having like a bad surgery?

Yeah, it happens. I'm afraid of LASIK because- It happens. That's crazy. It's like a very, it's happens i'm afraid of lasik because it happens that's crazy like a very it's a very very low probability like he's fine he's everything's fine but he like can't like he has like nerve damage oh fuck yeah yeah it's not good so yeah that's kind of scared me i had ball surgery in college whoa i had varicose veins around my... Is that cosmetic? Do you have cosmetic balls?

Yeah, I do. I just have veiny balls. Veiny balls. I had like the lumpiest fucking balls. So you got your balls cleaned up? Yeah.

Are they real round now? That sounds like cancer. Yeah. Lumpy balls. Let me see your balls. Are they real good? I have good balls now. Nice and smooth.

Brandon, by the way, he's getting scolded right now by Dave. You can see it on his face. Okay, yeah. Wait, so was it like unnecessary, obviously? Yeah, it was necessary. I got a physical my freshman year at Ohio State, and the team died. I guess that's hard. is making a bad idea.

My balls is branded screaming. Yeah. Should we close the doors? I got a physical, and the team doctor was like, do you realize your balls are fucked up? And I said, I got to be honest, like I don't know a lot about – it's not like I'm feeling my teammates' balls to know that mine are irregular. Right. about it's not like i'm feeling my teammates balls to know that mine are irregular right um

and that's something you have to like you'd have to look at a lot of pairs of balls to know that your balls right out of whack yeah so i was like these are the only balls i know um i had verico i had like the the same thing that's verico's veins and like old people's legs so i had that going on balls purple they the veins were wrapping around the vas deferens, the semen tube. And they were just like, you have a chance of, if you don't get the surgery, you might not ever have kids. Oh. So then I got the surgery and I still don't have kids.

But my balls for like a month were. Enlarged? Yeah. They're like swollen. It was crazy. Oh my God. Yeah. That gives you the willies.

Yeah. Not a fun recovery. Steven, are you going to have another kid? I've They're like swollen. It was crazy. Oh, my God. Yeah. That gives you the willies. Yeah. Not a fun recovery. Steven, are you going to have another kid? Swollen balls before? Very unlikely. Three's a lot. I'd like to do that. Yeah, three's a lot.

Steven will enjoy it. He would love a vasectomy. Yeah. Got my dick touch, dude. Yeah. Complete stranger. Yeah. another notch on the belt i saw uh sam talent uh his show on saturday so good on the show he brought up an interesting point in one of his bits that like if you have a daughter you would want her to grow up to be fuckable right or it's uh it was a very i don't know if this is very awkward but no not um yeah

all right well that's the terminology he used i would hope it was it was at a comedy show i hope my kids will be attractive enough yes yes like yeah i shouldn't have used that word i don't care but uh you want if you have a daughter like like some people are like, oh, having like a daughter who's really attractive must like suck because you always got to, but it's like, it's got to be a lot harder for a daughter that's very ugly. Yeah. You want your daughter to have suitors. Yes.

You want your daughter. That's the better, classier, like the more palatable way to describe it. You want your daughter to be elegant. Yeah. Or to be like high demand on a human trafficking ring. Yeah. That or yeah. Wayfair.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. The girls remember everything, man. Like my daughter will just remind me of shit that like my son doesn't fucking remember what he had for breakfast. My daughter will just be like, remember when you did this? It's like, fuck, I can't do anything around you so girls are fucking are they cursing yet you say bad words my son said fuck the other day and I oh hell yeah I laughed so hard yeah

and then I said we don't say that and then he got upset because he was like why am I getting yelled at I made you laugh I was like this is confusing yeah yeah I was like don't say that word but as I was like holding back laughter what did he say it in regards he said fuckhead I laughed so hard how did he learn who I don't know yeah how do you learn it probably me yeah yeah yeah was he calling was he calling you a fuckhead or was he just saying it into the ether I think he was saying into the ether or something like outside the car window. And I was like, don't say that while I'm like tears running down my face. I actually made him say it again because I wanted to laugh more. And I was like, now don't say that.

Like, what did you say? That was good. Just kidding. Don't say it. Yeah. Did you guys get reprimanded for swearing? Oh, yeah. There was a club in my school

that you had to say fuck to get into and I wouldn't join it because I thought if I said fuck, I'd go to hell. And I was having horrible night terrors every night, weeks and weeks on end about me accidentally slipping up and saying fuck. And so my mom was so tired of me waking up in the middle of the night,

she made me say fuck. Oh. She made you smoke a whole pack of fucks? A whole pack. We're not leaving until this pack of fucks is done. And I threw up. But now, yeah. Now it pays the bills.

Yeah. Wait, so the club, was it like a gang? Like student rent? It was like fifth grade. And you had to say fuck to get in. That's so badass. You had to say fuck. Logan Seidler ran it. That's kind of sick.

Yeah. Yeah. What's he up to nowadays? Fuck boys. He's doing well. His mom's my beautician, Lisa. I remember I said fuck in front of an adult parent for the first time, and I didn't know he was looking

and i screamed fuck while playing wiffle ball and it was like the most uh embarrassing moment of my life i was so embarrassed yeah i was like oh no hot flash yeah yeah i was like he heard me can you guys turn it off because we say the word liberally can you turn it off like at dinners and stuff oh yeah yeah i i have i do a radio hit every week and i so i have to turn it off i've only i've slipped up once okay i still i still do when i get around my parents i go see my parents i oh yeah i i have to turn it i can't stay in front of my parents can you say hell around them we're good yes but like at that point it's like yeah at that point we're starting to get a little i Stupid was a bad word for me. Worked up.

I wasn't allowed to say stupid. Yeah, suck. I guess I... Say something sucks. I thought it was the worst word. Until I was like 12. Yeah. Fart.

Couldn't say fart. I was a stinker boy. Yeah. I had to say stinker. Couldn't say fart. I couldn't say Jesus Christ. No. Oh, still, no.

Couldn't take his name in vain. Still can't. Yeah. They get pissed. I slipped up and said it in front of my mom in the gasp that she said. How could you do that? It's funny thinking about it because I could say fart all the time. Yeah.

Crap was bad. Crap was bad. Crap was bad. You couldn't say crap. Crap. You also couldn't say, you couldn't say like poop at dinner. Anything to do with bodily fluids at dinner. I got grounded for saying frick because that's, you know what you mean.

Or you do this. Oh, yeah. All the time. The pointer finger. Fuck. Look at you, motherfucker. Motherfucker Frick off

Got you Remember a dude on BYU Who BYU basketball Which Hawes player? Tyler Hawes, I think He was talking shit to the opposing student section He was like, frick off

He said something like, frick you guys Oh, that rulesj that clip is it shouldn't be that hard to find frick you man you shut the frick up maybe he said it like that i ain't freaking around anymore mother fudger the first time i said bitch, a family friend pantsed me. And I didn't even realize I, like, knew the word, but I was so angry that it just came out in front of, like, a bunch of adults, and they all started cracking up. Wait, was the pants you? Yeah, I got pants. I was like, you, you, you bitch.

No, you should, yeah, that's statute of limitations. Pantsing is one of the funniest things ever. I would like to bring it back in this office when you're like an eight-year-old it's yeah it's pretty scarring well it's way more scarring when you're like 14 yeah because like eight you still don't really know you know what you got when you get that stuff when you get pants though the dick springs up like yeah a full dick balls flopping out pants is one of the funniest things that could happen yeah just the way it kind of drops the immediate like ah i'm gonna pants brandon yeah he wears like six pairs of shorts right but i just don't know if i want

to i'm not i don't want to see his dick look at him i actually really want to see his that's the last dick i want to see in the office I want to see what's going on down there I might rank I mean I haven't blogged in a while yeah right the drank the dicks I want to see the office have some rats and it goes right I just haven't tweeted have a stew tweet it yeah dicks in the office we started it by he's still I don't know tight as you weren't here yet Stu was like two years ago just tweeted out rankings of the females. I'm aware of this.

I'm aware of this. Yeah. And Dave had to call him up and be like, you can't do that. And he's like, you can't do anything anymore. But he did it. Stu, you couldn't do, like, this is a story in, like, 1999 when, like, the high school, like, finds a burn book of the right like yeah suspended he did it in honor of his wife's anniversary yeah that was the part where he kept on saying that like we didn't understand he's like it was my wife's anniversary with my wife so clearly it's okay

yeah i'm married but he still holds on to the to the rankings because when we did advisors last week and megan making money was on i introduced introduced Megan making money and Stu was like number two. And I was like, wait, what? Damn. So he's got those rankings just floating around in his brain. Yeah.

Just him being like, why, why can't you do that anymore? It's a compliment. It's a compliment. I like that. I said, I do want a fucker.

I didn't say that. That being an identifier is awesome. What? Number two. I like that. No, I said I do want a fucker. I didn't say I didn't want a fucker. That being an identifier is awesome. What? Number two? Yeah. That's number two. Yeah, we should have, like, on the blogger page, the women have, like, their, like, it's like a ticker at the bottom.

Do a coach's poll every week. Like an up or down arrow. Tough loss to McNeese. She's state last week. She just really fell in the race. Yeah. She got a boyfriend a month ago. She's gotten complacent. She's fallen. Yeah,. She got a boyfriend a month ago, has gotten complacent.

She's fallen. Yeah, too bad. Gave a sweatshirt on Tuesday. It's tough. She's higher in the AP poll, but coach's poll. She's fallen. Megan dropped three spots,

doesn't smile enough. That's Stu's barstool. Yep, that's what he wants. Just have them walk around with name tags. Number two. It's easier than rememberingstool. He would love that. That's what he wants. Just have them walk around with name tags. Number two. It's easier than remembering your name. Yeah.

Brandon, I feel like, is at the point of the rundown where he's trying to rationalize with Dave. He's reading stuff off. Oh, he's maybe reading Dave's old tweets saying when he wanted to fire Harbaugh. John Rich said he'll chop off his head if Michigan wins. Yeah, what ended up happening? Did he do it? Is he dead? Is John Rich fucking dead oh he said he's gonna take his

time to figure out the best way to do it oh but he will do it oh yeah I know John Rich he'll do it he wants to get it right yeah like I don't want John Rich to die guillotine I also like it would be very funny if he did chop off his head it's a good bit he'd be yeah it was like why do you chop off his head he said yeah would on the internet maybe he would just like chop off his head it's a good bit he'd be yeah it was like why do you chop off his head he said would on the internet maybe he would just like chop off one ear oh i'd settle for an ear yeah finger that would be maybe two fingers what must be on the head pinky somewhere oh true if you had to lose something on the head i would say ear one ear nobody likes a noseless guy what is his play how do you get out of this if you're him yeah you can't do the head yeah he could do like uh what is he gonna do he's gonna salve to regrow

his foreskin get circumcised yeah yeah oh i do i do a pinky team every year where i'll chop off the tip of my pinky if they win the super bowl um and i i think I'll end up dying out the tip of my pinky because it's just a number of years. Yeah. But again, just like Brandon and his blood oath with Dave, nobody asked John Rich to tweet, I will cut off my head. Right, right, right.

There was no upside to this. Yeah, he just didn't think it would happen. If they would have lost last night, he would not have gotten two heads. How are all these guys? He gained nothing. How did Brandon and John Rich not conceive that Michigan – they were good all year.

That's what I don't understand. That's why Dave on the bus in Wisconsin, Dave turns to me and he's like, you want to take the blood oath? And I was like, no, I don't. They could win it. Yeah. Yeah, what could John Rich do? He's got to chop off a head of his.

His penis? His penis head? Yeah. Yeah, if he just Rich do? He's got to chop off a head of his. His penis? His penis head? Yeah. Yeah, if he just got circumcised. Yeah, right. It's circumcised. Matt's got to be just having a shaft. How do we know that he's already circumcised?

It would be like the end of a pool noodle. Oh, John Rich, he's number one anteater at the office. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was going to say Brandon Walker's the number one anteater. Number one anteater. Yeah, John Rich has got to get Brandon Walker is the number one anteater. Yeah, John Rich has got to get circumcised.

That's how Brandon is. This has got to be so hard for him, man. Just thinking back on his days in college when he was going to school at Ohio State for those four years. Played for them. Yeah, he played. Yeah, dude. He likes to breathe. Lettered.

I bet. You know what I bet about Brandon? Tell me. I bet when he got ready today, he was probably looking at his closet and said, I'll be goddamned. Everything I own is Ohio State. I don't really have much to wear. Buckeye Brandon, you've done it again.

And Dave knows that in his head. Yeah. He owns in. Yeah. Hell, he called into your show. He disrupted your flow, your conversation. Yeah. The fuck with Brandon?

I have nothing in this. No talking this night. This whole Michigan football situation. You're in a great spot. You're in a great spot. You should feel blessed yeah like i i i know with anybody else you're a dead man i'm just very confused more than anything else it's not like the dave part i understand but it's more like brand brandon and i off air there have been moments not even after last night but just as michigan football has gotten good this year where brandon has tried to like explain to me why he wants michigan to lose like why this would be bad if michigan won and i

was like brandon who the fuck are you right what is going on right now you don't understand there's this team up north yeah yeah yes and and people don't use the m yeah and there's a there's there's a team in columb Columbus that could beat them. Now, this is a big rivalry, Mark. I'm like, oh, okay. It is true. Yeah, the people who are getting the brunt of it today are Big Ev, which is understandable, Brandon, and Will Compton.

Yeah, and I'm just floating by, man. Yeah, you should enjoy that. I'm fine with it. Although these are great, Dave. I mean, one of the best rundowns ever was after the Patriots beat the Seahawks and Dave had no voice and sounded like Don Corleone, just sitting smoking a cigar in me and KFC's face. He's stuck now, I think.

I think Dave is just circling back to how stupid. So Dave has had the Patriots' success, and then there was five years where he made $400 million and now has this. Correct. Cool. Life's not fair. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's pretty sick.

Five-year drought. It is pretty insane that, like, Kevin was saying this on partial radio, like, just waiting all this time for the Patriots to finally, like, not have Tom Brady and not be good and then scoops up a college football national title. Do you think there's an alternate world where, like, West Virginia sports rule everything? not have Tom Brady and not be good and then scoops up a Michigan college football national title do you think there's an alternate world where like West Virginia sports rule everything no it's impossible it's impossible and and there's infinite dimensions not one not one no do you even entertain it at this point they're like what if no every year that was me if what

if like I was the guy who cheered for all the champions? I've had luck, though, with the Pens and Steelers. Steelers are in the playoffs. Steelers are in the playoffs. 10-win team. Jerry is talking himself into winning this game. Uh-oh. Yeah, you're going to be there.

Sunday, you're going to be on the stream. I'll be there. Oh, no, he's talking about it big time. Low expectations are the way to live. Yeah. Yeah, be surprised by things. The weather's going to be awful everywhere yes can every because canada has been hoarding all this cold air yeah they're about to just fucking dump it on us i'm only the only the only place i've seen really get reported on that was kansas city as super cold but buffalo i assume right buffalo that's not news because it's buffalo right in buffalo i think it's not as much cold as it's

like there's chances of like 50 mile an hour winds oh shit yeah yeah it's gonna suck i'm i'm i was telling nick last night we were texting yeah and uh because of this whole move and i obviously i feel like everyone's happy, but I am nervous about the weather and people being like, what the fuck? Wednesday is a high of two. Yeah, putting it on me. I'm just looking at it the 10 day. I'm like, well, it's going to get a little warmer because I understand.

But it's not like we moved from fucking Los Angeles. It's true. Nobody moved here from the beach in Southern California, right? Listen, it's going to suck for a couple weeks. We've gotten a nice run. You were kind of in your own head a little bit. Oh, I'm all up in my own head. Like, we're going to be mad at you for fucking being here.

No, I think there will be people who will be like, fuck it, it's five degree weather, fuck it. I'm not prepared for it. You have a garage? I have a garage, but my- So you just never go outside. That was my strategy, is never go outside, but I'm starting to get worried that-

I have a bunch of jackets. I don't really have the coat. Yeah. I don't have – You got to get a big boy, dude. You got to invest, right? I don't have boots. Mechanic onesie.

Yeah. It snowed a little. Was it this past weekend it snowed a little bit, and I'm taking the dog on the walk, and I'm wearing just, like, sneakers, and I'm sliding around all over the place. But that was okay, though. I have no boots. I have no anything.

But you're playing it right because I told everyone, like like don't put on your winter coat when it's like in the 30s and 40s because when it gets to like 10 that's when you need your winter coat but that's what i don't even have go buy i need to go buy one yes very soon yeah but you can just not go outside like i have a garage yeah i mean i have to walk stella but other than that that's my strategy yeah let's not go outside i also said that the one one weird wrinkle and this might also just be coping but i always kind of liked it when it got super cold in chicago for you don't want it to last for more than like a week or two but there that there's that like one week where it's like kind of everyone in it together and you also get the

like friday saturday night where you pick a bar and you stay in you hunker down and that's fun there's like it's fun there's like there's nothing worse than going out with your friends and having the always like where should we go next where should we go next like we're gonna sit in this corner of this bar we're gonna get drunk for five hours we're gonna have fun and then we're gonna go home yep well that's a great jumping off point for this I'm moving on Friday oh I know oh terrible timing but fuck all that whatever we'll deal with that when it comes closer to the office though closer to the office we're very excited about the house we're moving into

um but any tips on there are a bunch of bars a bunch of cool restaurants around and i i want to like speed run the becoming the regular there i'll give you a list i know i don't want to dox for your living but i'll give you a list yeah like I need more of a strategy because I'm not a guy that like. Yeah. How like what's the timeline for this? How do I how do I become? Is it every bartender? Do I hone in on one bartender?

Do we think it's one bartender? You have actually the way you really do it is you go to a bar and you ask if they have a bookie. Oh, oh. And then you just usually a bartender is a book. It's a bookie. And then And then you just, usually a bartender is a bookie. Is a bookie. And then you're just intertwined forever. Yeah. Everywhere I bounce, I never live anywhere more than like a year.

So I've never cared enough to like plant roots with like the local bars and restaurants and all that. And this place, I want to be, I don't necessarily want the free shit. I just like, I desire the, you walk into the bar and they're like, yeah, the usual. I got a bar. I got a bar near you that the owner is stoolie, but not like like pressing. OK, really like more like I love what you guys do. OK, that might be all right right away because he's just like, yeah, he'd be like, it's cool that I you know, like if you get in that relationship where the guy's like, yeah, I got a couple of guys working bar. So I take care of them.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. that'd be awesome it's very hard to become a regular without becoming an alcoholic though you gotta put an hour that's true you gotta put in the like the hours no one wants to put in yeah that's true tuesday afternoon that's true fuck that is true i want to i want to go once every six weeks and have them i think if if you go – Small price. The one thing you could do, though, too, if you don't want to put in the hours, I think if you put in the exact same hours. So if you go Friday at like 3 o'clock every week, then you get – Figure out when your shifts are and I'm just showing up. Yeah.

Same staff. The recognition. Oh, Mark's coming in. That's when he comes in. Yeah. And if you don't come in one day, they're like, did that guy just die? We'll never know. Yeah. All right. You should when he comes in. Yeah. And if you don't come in one day, they're like, did that guy just die? We'll never know. Yeah.

All right. You should ask your old producer, Kyle. Yeah, he's great at that. Yeah. You're right about that. I should. I might call him. Yeah.

I've been making a trip to Chicago to teach me how to be a bar fly. There's one other thing with the cold weather that I like that's kind of a sicko move, but there's top, top, top feeling is being at a bar, getting really drunk, and then having the cold air blast your face. Nice little fun, yeah. And it kind of sobers you up a little. It also brings you and the boys together. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. You're like waddling to the next destination. Yeah. Yeah. See, it's going to suck for a little bit. I'm ready for it. It's going to suck for a little bit.

It just sucks. Prime. Should we add something to the wheel where we have to do something outside when it's like two degrees? Shorts month. Shorts. Kyle already ruined that. He's wore shorts in and looked cool. Dick was flopping around.

Brandon has finished the rundown. He's limping. He literally got fucked. He's an asshole. No, he got fucked. He's slowly walking back. Oh, he has one more point. Oh, he's talking to Big Red. He's like, Corey, and one other thing that I meant to say to Dave.

Yeah. He's kind of being like Fleming right now. Yeah, a little bit. Talk to anybody that'll hear it. Yeah. I like his pants today. He's got them hiked up. He does. There he is in the reflection

Yeah he's Wearing capris Oh here we go Oh yeah Shut the F up Shut the F up What position was his body in to start that His legs are pretty widespread

What is Oh shit Shut the F up was his body in to start that. His legs are pretty widespread. What is... Oh, shit. Shut the F up. Oh, he's probably having, like, a cramp in his leg, and he's trying to get it out. Let's see it again. Shut the F up! Shut the F up.

No, I'm sorry. I won't be that guy, but can I hear him say shut the F up? Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. We need anything to make you feel better right now. Shut the F up! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey. How how was it was he gentle was he uh we just talked mandalorian yeah and yeah it looked like there was a moment where you were looking at your phone were you looking at old tweets yeah yeah that's we we pegged that yeah you nailed it yeah you were

like you got if i had to guess you know you got talked down to you kind of were like exasperated what do you want me to say then you got a little fight in you yeah then you went to the phone no and dave had a good answer for that dave is one of the best arguers ever and then he flipped it back yeah no i i had fight the whole time okay it's my friend big ev is down he's he's struggling with it he's really He's really down. Yeah, he's down. You know, I've been in the mud enough to know that when you're in the mud, you just got to try. You just got to try.

It doesn't always work. That's so sad, man. Yeah, I feel you, bro. That was the worst motivation I've ever heard. You got to give it a shot. It's not going to work. You're going to lose, but fuck. Wait, can we get some inspirational music for this behind this?

And Brandon, can you really just bring us down? Just some words of wisdom. You know, guys, life isn't always easy. Sometimes you find yourself in the mud and you find yourself up against an opponent that's richer than you more famous than you and you get in the mud and it's a real test of who you are as a man and i'm here to tell you you don't have to go quietly. You can fight back. It's not going to work, but you've got to try.

You've got to throw mud. You've got to at least make them know you were there. You're going to end up losing. You're going to be a failure. You're going to embarrass your family. But, folks, try. Yes! That was really good. Yeah. That was good. That rocked. That was beautiful. Try Yes Yeah That was good

That rocked That was beautiful Beautiful TJ can you bring the music back up Oh I want to tell you guys a story About a friend of mine He kept trying

And he kept failing Time and time again He would try to push through he'd try to fight he knew he was wrong he's not very smart and he would tell people well you at least got to try and i'm here to tell you no you don't just give up trying's overrated especially when you fail as much as brandon t Walker. T. Brandon. Yeah. All right. That amped me up.

That amped me the fuck up. You want to go back? You want to have an inspirational battle rap? That would be fun. Oh, here we go. A motivate off. You're just trying to motivate people. I'm like, just kill yourself. A motivate-off. You just try to motivate people. I'm like, just kill yourself.

It's over. End it all. What's the point of trying when all you do is fail? So what? You're fat and ugly and make less. Yeah. You're still going to lose. Yeah.

Your team will never win. What are we doing? It's not about who you make less than, Brandon. It's about who you make more than. Yeah. Focus on the positive. That is the hard part about this, Brandon, because I actually am kind of in the same boat as you,

and I think maybe Big Ev shouldn't be as down because Ohio State will win another national title. Yeah. Guys like us, we're never going to win a national title. Well, I guess you missed a little two weeks called Omaha in 2021. Oh. When me and TJ went out. Yeah, okay.

And we won the national championship. But even then. Wisconsin is the number one hockey school, I think, right now. Women's hockey. Women's hockey, but we had a dynasty in that. Don't do that. Men's hockey this year is really good. Even that.

What happened the year after? I don't know. I know we got ours. That sucks. I know we got ours. It just erased it. We got ours. So that's all that matters.

Completely erased it. Yeah, maybe you should find someone to punch. Like Donnie said, think about the people that make less than you. And as Dave is punching down, hitting you, turn and punch down and hit someone else instead of trying to punch back at Dave. But I'm not that i'm a classy guy just brandon does every single morning when he walks into the tech room it's true it's true line up you should give you should give up being a sports fan man be the movie guy also a great idea oh iron claw was good huh god that see is there any sport no taking that is there any sport out there

where like you you know what's gonna happen beforehand like it's scripted that you could oh that's a great point yeah so that way you're not surprised by like right right you can't be disappointed because it's scripted yeah and you know i'm you know you're my brother you know i never brothers we're brothers you know i never would we're brothers but there are seconds where i i want to hit you i know right now it's one of them okay last night we were we had it's been the last two night two mondays because we watched college football we've had raw on while we're watching college football and the back row me pft and jerry have just been lobbing like ridiculous wrestling questions and brandon just frustrating him and last night brandon just turned right he's

like you were a wrestling fan i was like yeah you're right you love this yeah i was like uh you're right you got me just calling out everyone wrong names you're you're asking me who it is it's booker t yeah it's been famous for 30 years. That's too poor. Ross came to Chicago. What? Ross is going to be in Chicago in a couple weeks. March 25th. Right before Mania.

Oh, let's go. Let's do it. Let's go to it. Milwaukee Friday, Chicago Monday. Oh, is it? Yes. Is it Milwaukee Friday, then Chicago Monday? Yes.

Okay. Milwaukee Friday. I might do both. So, Raw Friday, Smack Chicago Monday? Yes. Okay. Milwaukee Friday? I might do both. So Raw Friday, SmackDown Monday? See, you know. I think it was when we were asking him what was the bigger franchise, WWE or Raw. That's when he got frustrated. During a moment where both logos were on the screen.

Like, well, one has to be better. I'd like to go with you. Yeah, let's go. Let's try to get front row seats. Yeah. You can pull that off, huh? AEW I could. Well, you could too.

Oh, AEW I could. Yeah, no problem. Maybe WWE. Come on. I don't know anyone. You can pull that off. I could pull that off. I can pull that off. Formally on the board.

But WWE tricks you, even people like me. For Mania, they put me in the third row. Oh, okay. So then we're good. Which do you think we could get in the ring? The morning of, but not like five hours before. Listen, Brandon has a time and place where he could talk about wrestling. It's not this format.

That's true. Ruff and Rowdy should have like a halftime where we have a wrestling match. That would be cool. Employee wrestling match that you train months for. When I first started wrestling and it was building, and it did build and build and build, and its last seven videos were all over 100,000, and then it got shut down,

I looked into contracting a ring I was going to put on a show. Whoa. I would love to do a backyard wrestling match here. I don't know if backyard wrestling guys would want to do this type of setting, though, because they really like the backyard. One of our biggest fans is a death match wrestling guy. So then let's see if we can set it up. We can get Orin Veit in here.

I would pay for a ring. That would be amazing. That would be sick. What moves are you confident you could pull off brandon i could break a light tube over big cat's head okay okay in classic move yeah brandon do you think like wrestling you flew too close to the sun it was just too many views no no if you get too many this is bad let's not do this It just makes me mad All over again Anus has been around

For four years Never broke 100,000 views Nope A lot of shows like that Really had to be Michigan They had to fucking do it The way they did I kind of like

Yackyard Wrestling Yackyard Wrestling Oh shit If we could get it And then we put on had to be michigan they had to fucking do it the way they kind of like yak yard wrestling yeah if we could get it and then we do we put on a couple matches ourselves yeah yeah i could do a lot of moves titus i mean there's a lot of low stress moves you can do in wrestling a yak yard wrestling some examples that's right i can do a stone cold stunner to you that doesn't hurt me at all i mean think these wrestlers have destroyed bodies and they're still doing it until they're 50. Yeah. I would love to learn how to 619. I would love to watch you 619.

That would be so fun. TJ, could we do this as one of our special episodes? I will put the word in. Dude, us all putting on a wrestling show. We'd all have our own wrestling show. Yeah, we'd have the regular backyard wrestlers, but we'd be like, their match, our match. Yeah.

Yeah. I would put on a wrestling shirt. Or just a Yak Royal Rumble for our match. You deserve this, man. A Yak Royal Rumble. Yes. Are you going to be like the Vince McMahon? Who's writing this?

Tell me this. I think we'd have to privately do the wheel to decide who wins. Yeah. If this hit a certain benchmark, if this show were a success, if somehow we determined this show would hit a certain benchmark, if this show were a success, if somehow we determined this show would hit a certain benchmark, would you stand behind me to bring wrestling back? I've always stood behind you to bring wrestling back. But it's never worked.

We do a Money in the Bank ladder match where the contract to wrestling is at the top of the ladder. Oh, that's great, TJ. That's TJ. That's awesome, TJ. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. Don't yell at me on my birthday, Brandon.

Birthday, Brandon. It's a birthday. You know that's a good idea. That's a good idea, Brandon. That's a great idea. That's a really good idea. Holy, a lifetime contract to wrestling. You own the rights to wrestling school in Buffalo.

Whoever owns the rights to wrestling, you can do whatever you want with it. It's like you don't have to be the host of the show, but you have the full creative control of what the show could be. It's like the custody for Dominic Mysterio. Uh-huh. And then see the summer slam. It's just a briefcase with all the IP.

Yes. It just says Rasslin on it. Yeah. Ooh. I'd sell it. Would you? I'd sell the IP. Bring back Nicky the Good.

I would wait outside of the Mostly Sports studio with a suitcase waiting to catch it. I'd have to get up and I'd start record wrestling. Nicky the Good should be working here now. That guy's talented as fuck. I agree. I agree. Agreed. Nick, when we did that wrestling show in Buffalo, what was your name again?

Purple Nick. Purple Nick. Yeah. Sick wrestling name. Thank you, guys. Wait, didn't you? Were you not another color? No.

At one point? He's always purple. I think somebody else. I think I, wait, I might have been another color at another point. Was I orange neck at one point? I don't know. I don't remember, but okay, sorry, go ahead. KB's wrestling name was Gender Reveal.

He would have like, it's a boy and it's a girl, and yeah. What did he say? I'm going to turn. Oh, yeah. He goes, I'm going to turn. Oh, that was Ukraine. Yeah, it's a boy and it's a girl. Yeah. What did he say? I'm going to turn. Oh, yeah. He goes, I'm going to turn. Oh, that was Ukraine. Yeah, it was Ukraine. Your boys' nipples pink and your.

Your pink nipples blue and your blue balls pink. I'm going to turn your balls blue and your nipples pink. I'm the gender reveal. Yeah, it was purple Nick. Oh, hell yes i forget what i was i was just plus size cruella de vel because it was the only costume i could find it was tough to get a costume out of season yeah yeah purple nick yak yard purple nick is a real heel i feel like you were another color at some point i probably was man i run back the same

things just was he ever blue Nick? Orange Nick? I think it might have been orange Nick. White Nick? Green Nick? Gray Nick? What was I? Maybe Dungeons and Dragons?

Red Nick? We're doing it. We're doing it. Tim Woods is coming on Thursday. Nick's going to be back. My costume doesn't really fit. I'm just a fireman. I'm George Washington.

Fuck yeah. That's going to be great. All right, so yeah, Yack Yard Wrestling. I love that idea. I just want to see Brandon happy again, man. Yeah, and if it doesn't make sense cost-wise to do it on the basketball court, we could easily just do it in someone's backyard who has it. No, it wouldn't make sense to do it right there.

I'm just saying I have no idea how much a wrestling ring costs. Rental, right? Yeah. We had a full one for the – We could probably just borrow one. Yeah, probably. There's probably guys that would just let us have one. We could even make this ticketed And have people sit upstairs And little money

Imagine someone jumps from upstairs Oh my god Well I mean that's Obviously I don't know We'd have to sign some waivers I think I think I'd get severely injured Somehow

Hopefully yeah Yeah I'm in Yak yard wrestling IP match First ever IP match We do have like a side yard yeah we do which we're gonna have we're gonna we're gonna spruce it up in the spring we should spin the wheel to see who wins the match obviously privately uh but then also spin the wheel to see who's the one that

takes the bump where you're halfway up the ladder yeah and the ladder gets pushed you have to be the person that the t's yeah someone goes we gotta i guess we could have multiples but oh yeah we'll do that like 75 times that seems well there's always now it's better in your head than like when the time comes that we have to climb and multi-man ladder matches now there's always the big spot where there'll be six guys on three ladders and they all fall at the same time so we would all need to be in this together Can we get one pro wrestler in there just to really? Could you, Helen, sell? Guy's already DMing me right now.

Some guys? Yeah, Orin Veit. He's part of the family, and he's a huge Yak fan. All right, yeah, yeah. Get him in the mix. The match starts, and you just punch him, and he's knocked out in the corner of the ring the entire time. He just lays there.

He's the Wizard King. That's a great name. The Wizard King. I like that. We should do this when it's cold. He does death matches, which is like stapling your head and hitting each other with chairs and ladders and light tubes

and all that stuff. I would do it. That's fun, man. You would do that. I would do that. Oh, into a bed of That's fun, man. You would do that. I would do that. Yeah. Oh, mouse. Oh, into a bed of mouse. Ah, yes.

I want to mousetrap your nipples, Brandon. You've always wanted to do that. Yeah. Mousetraps. You got some singlets. Yeah. We've worn singlets on the show before. I think you have.

I have KB has obviously I don't know if KB has Almost certainly right On the show I don't think so I think it's just you No I wore his singlet

Eventually So it had to be in the building For some reason How quickly would KB try to Really wrestle us Oh yeah When's that wrestling mat coming in I don't know

I told Paige to buy it We're just going to fill this Court up with everything Yeah Basketball Yeah duh KB having a wrestling match Is a must I don't know. I told Paige to buy it. We're just going to fill this court up with everything. Yeah. Basketball. Yeah, duh. KB having a wrestling match is a must. We should play a game of Duck, Duck, Goose for a lot of money.

That would be awesome. Musical chairs for $50,000. We should play musical chairs. We have kids Kids squid games So much fun Yeah Yeah duck duck goose For ten

Red light green light It's gonna be so cold But having this office Like it's not as We work at recess Big of a problem Yeah It's like you can't

Just come play some hoops Run around Max and I were lifting earlier We're getting back in the gym Yeah me and Nick were too. Squats? Yeah, I was doing some squats. Squats, yeah.

Yeah. Squats are so hard. Yeah, I couldn't walk all last week because I did too many squats. Feed the wolf, though. I cleaned him. He jerked me. Yeah, clean and jerk. We should maybe just all start doing some steroids

for a little bit I'm down I don't need to be convinced of that it would be kind of cool if we just all like maybe it's just like maybe it's just a cycle every winter we just all get jacked up I'm so down I mean I got the drug gene just aggression everywhere

you know your body takes well to them yeah yeah i'd like to just get in get in there get in the lab see what happens you do the safe stuff too like some trt or ah come on creatine creatine just makes you bloated oh so i've been taking when you're on roids do you have like withdrawals when you stop doing roids i assume so yeah you have to like wean off you're never gonna stop doing roids? I assume so, yeah. You have to like wean off, right? Yeah, but you're never going to stop doing roids once you do roids. Hopefully. I think if you get prescribed TRT, you're basically, that's for life. Okay.

Because it stops your body's natural ability to make testosterone. Right. Tren is the scary one because of tren cough. Have you heard about this? No. There's a symptom of if you take too much trenren, which is one of the major steroids that your body tries to reject it by coughing it out of you, but you take it

with a needle, so you can't cough that out. So there'll be guys in gym bathrooms that are just having violent coughing fits for like 15 minutes randomly when they use Tren. Their body's trying to cough shit out of their bloodstream. And it's like it's unknown when it's going to happen,

how often it's going to happen. It's just sometimes you just feel like you're going to cough, and then you just cough and, like, die for 15 minutes. But they probably looked really jacked. Oh, yeah, it probably gets all your blood pumping hard. Like, if you cough but you have big muscles, it's a manly cough. Worth it, yeah. It's so worth it.

Look at that dude coughing. Yeah. I've never seen someone cough Look at that dude coughing. Yeah. I've never seen someone cough in such a tough way. Yeah. I never thought that having small balls if you take steroids was that much of a deterrent. No. Do you want big balls? Like, that's what I don't.

No, the big head was way more of a deterrent. Yeah. Having your head just be enlarged? It never computed, though. And, like, don't do steroids or else your balls will shrink. I didn't know that was a thing. We wanted massive balls. I could use a little ball strength.

Yeah, I'd take a little ball strength. As long as your cock still works. As long as it still works. Take tiny little balls. What's it do to your head? It makes your jaw bigger. You're saying Barry Bonds? Yeah, look at a picture of Barry Bonds.

No, no, no. I thought you meant penis head. Guys who did steroids, though. Well, his was his age. Yeah, he just... Magically happened, yeah. He just... He just got fatter.

Started taking care of his body a little bit more. He just never got rid of a headache and it just swelled. Holy shit. Oh, my God. I think by the end he was wearing like an 8 1⁄2.

Yeah, damn. Barry Bones got a big fucking head. It was always funny when dudes did steroids like back in the heyday of MLB, and they were just like, yeah, I just got a new workout regimen. New trainer. Oh, that's Andrew. There's nothing.

Started working out. Meanwhile, Mark McGuire's busting out of his shirt. Yeah. And literally had steroids in his locker room. That's how it all started. They're like, hey, what's that? God, that was the good old days. Wasn't that creatine, or did he just say that?

That was andro. That was andro. Good old days, man. That's andro. Listen. So good. I don't like that they stole all the records, but baseball was objectively better when they were all Jewish.

So good. Awesome. Mammoth home run. Sammy Sosa just hitting balls down the street. Just mammoth. Sammy Sosa going steroids and corked bat. Yeah. That bat had to feel like a feather.

Oh, man. Yeah, when we were in the height of that, it's just like those bats were just little twigs for those guys. Yeah, if you're steroided up, just cheat every which way. Right. If there was a steroid baseball league and a regular baseball league, which one are you watching? Steroids. Nobody's watching a regular.

No one. Bunch of skinny guys slapping opposite field singles. Oh, now they're going to live longer. Yay. The pitchers were taking steroids too. Oh, yeah. Everybody was. Roger Clemens was throwing bats at people. Yeah. It was great. His wife was like, was more jacked than anything.

That whole family. We needed a jacked wife? Yeah, dude. They all did steroids. She did a photo shoot. She was fucking ripped. Yeah, she was a tank. It's a beautiful story.

Yeah. Yeah, they did it as a family. Yeah. It's a bonding experience. Doing family roids and then a family photo. Yeah, look at this. Crazy jacked wife. That's just a picture of steroids fuck yeah man was it Peyton Manning's wife got the steroid sent to her oh yeah yep no big deal the Mannings really do run the world because like all of their

bad stories just don't they never stick yeah well they just like they're on air and then they're goofy and you're just like, ah, come on. Like Peyton Manning. Didn't he like sexual assault a trainer at Tennessee? I don't think that was there was much. I don't know. You put his balls on her face, right? She was checking for this guy's being dudes.

Yeah. But no, that's my point is that Manning's just like, whatever. Was that not the story? I don't think it was the Was it balls on the face? I just thought it was like. Showed his balls? No, I thought she saw his ass getting out of the shower or something. Maybe I have a wrong story.

I don't know. Maybe I have a wrong story. Balls on the face is called a Roman helmet, right? Yeah. Yeah, Trojan helmet where you dangle it. TJ, look it up. I think Peyton Manning or was that Antonio Brown farts on people? There were videos of that.

Are the Harbaughs more influential as a football family than the Mannings now? No. No. No. Not with the Manning cast. I don't know. What if John wins a Super Bowl this year? Does it go Kelsey, Harbaughs, Manning?

What a headline. That's a really good headline. That's a really good headline. That's a great, and it's from dead seriousness. The only thing I object to is the word odd. I don't think it's not odd at all. It's not odd. This checks out. It's not fair to Cooper.

There is a third brother who probably likes putting his ass in faces too. Farting on people's thighs. Yeah, Eli was a big fart guy. That's when you farted by my face oh here it is in 1996 objectively 19 year old painting apparently forcefully maneuvered his naked testicles and wrecked him directly onto the then team trainer 27 okay well no i didn't know that his defense that's what but my point his defense was that he was actually mooning another player okay walking by and if his balls plopped onto a woman's head, then it was a total accident.

Your Honor, I did not mean to teabag that woman. Her face just happened to be there. I only remember the mooning part. Yes, this is my point. The mannings are like... Wait a minute. Can we reenact this? Because where would she be for a mooning to moon a friend?

Yeah. Bran, who wants to be trainer? All right, so I'll be the trainer. You're the trainer. I could be the friend. Yeah. Brandon, who wants to be trainer? All right, so I'll be the trainer. He was. You're the trainer. Yeah. I can be the friend. And then the friend walks by.

What am I doing? You're getting your balls on your face. You're working on his leg. Wait, to move, walk by this way with me. So I'm like here, and I see you walking. You're on the floor. Oh, it's a... You would want to be in the front.

Oh, yeah. I could see it. That kind of works. Yeah, wait. So we think he was cleared? He's cleared. Okay. Hey, man, what's going on?

It's good, dude. Yeah, nice. Wait, no, but the rectum was in her face, too. Okay, wait. I think it was more like this. All right, watch. Watch. I think it was more like this.

No, sit up. I'll be the trainer. I think the trainer was on the floor like this, just doing trainer stuff. Can you move? Let's get the camera. Hold on, hold on. Let's get the right, correct angle. It's like trainer, trainer, trainer.

This is what we do. You walk by. Yeah. Hey, man. Look at this. Yeah. And then, yeah. On my face.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened. Guys being dudes. That's my boss. What trainer stuff was she doing? She was doing trainers. Trainer, trainer, trainer. Guys can't have any fun anymore.

I think we did exonerate. Yeah, I think so too. It's Shane Gillis tweet. Guys can't have any fun anymore. But the point is the mannings are like the greatest pr firm of all time i didn't even know that happened right yeah zero clue that's just the mannings and there were steroids sent to pete manning's wife and it was just like we believe him he's got a big ass head oh. Manning's got a huge head. Yeah.

And they are good guys, so it's like, I don't know. I can hold it against them. I like Eli. Eli's my favorite Manning. I'm a Peyton guy. Really? Yeah. I don't dislike Eli.

What's Arch doing? What's the long-term plan for that guy? He's just going to wait his turn to Texas. Is he not that good? Is he? I don't think he's that good. What do you mean wait your turn at Texas? What the fuck does that mean? I don not that good I don't think he's that good what do you mean wait your turn at Texas what the fuck does that mean not play forever

oh these are Jerry's dealing golf clubs now yeah he is oh here we go so this is what's happening tonight. There's a gallon of milk on there.

It's a hockey skills challenge, and he's going to do a gallon challenge while doing the hockey skills. Because I basically told Lucas, I was like, Lucas is like, what should we do? And I was like, I don't know how you want to get there, but Jerry's got to puke as the follow-up to last week. I had a guest come in yesterday, and you would have thought the golf simulator was a Sistine Chapel.

Really? Who was it? It was Kevin Sweeney from Sports Illustrated, a college basketball guy. And I was like, do you want us to get a tour of the place? He's like, I just want to see where Jerry did his thing. Immortalized. I was like, there you go, right there. You could probably sell tickets.

We were telling jerry that like he should just i think they took the mat could they change out the mat he should just sell like cards with a piece of that yeah oh yeah and turf cards sell the shorts you make a shitload of money off that but yeah this is gonna be a good and jerry i don't think he's ever rollerbladed oh god he's gonna be in full pads this he's gonna tear his acl i also gave my credit card to ryan one of his producers and he went and got full goalie pads so it's gonna be great oh i'm pumped look at him it's a little bulldog his email was hilarious oh yeah so his email he sent an email he's, we got new golf clubs.

Anyone wants one? And then at the end, he said, do not email me back. I do not check email. Yeah. And left his phone number. As he emailed everyone. It was a great threat. TJ, you want to spin our wheel?

It's been a great yak. I don't want to dox Jerry, but his full name makes me crack up every time I say it. What was Gerard? Gerard. Yeah. I say it every now and then. He doesn't like it. Gerard. You know his middle name, right?

No. Guy. No. Yes. Gerard Guy? He's Triple G. G Guy. Gerard Guy Guilfone.

Gerard Guy. Triple G. Yeah, no, it's great. That's a great name. It's incredible. It's just so perfect that that's his name. Gerard Guy Guilfoyle. He's just a guy.

He's the only Gerard I know on this planet, I think. They don't really make Gerards. Not here. Can't think of any. The Talladega Nights guy, the foreign one, was he a Gerard? No. Oh, that was his last name, right? John Jock Gerard?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gerard Butler? There was an actor named Gerard. I'll tell Jerry to come in here and give a little preview. There was an actor named Gerard Depardieu. And he was in My Father the Hero. I'm just going to call him Gerard. Gerard Dog.

Brandon? David Gerard. I don't know. Oh. Is this one of Stephen's most famous people Looks like Chris Farley Maybe Potato

Well my father the hero Which had a blonde girl Come to the act real quick Wasn't he in Ruby and Quentin That's a guy who's so ugly he's attractive You kind of can't look away. He was decent looking back in the day. You can't look away from that face.

Yeah, you're right. He got uglier. It's like so horrific. So do you think if somebody's like middling ugly, what they should do is try to disfigure themselves? Oh. Yeah. Wait, can you go back to that picture? He's like on Action Bronson levels right there.

Just got to tat him up a little bit. Yeah. He can smoke cigs. Action Bronson has lost a lot of weight. tat him up a little bit. Yeah. He can smoke cigs. Action Bronson has lost a lot of weight. Yeah, he looks good now. I might have to look up My Father the Hero. He's a tank. He's a tank.

He does like crazy workouts all day. Yeah. Very unorthodox. Swings clubs. Jerry, come sit down. I wanted to preview Jerry after dark. Yeah, I've seen him swing in those clubs. Now that you've announced it.

Good. Triple G. Announced it. Good. Take your time. So, what are you doing tonight? Let the people know. I don't fully know. I know it's a hockey skills challenge yeah then there is a certain time we have to full pads hockey skills challenge on rollerblades i never rollerbladed before i think you should practice yeah i mean um have you ice skated

i did one time in bryant park and it didn't go good okay Okay. In New York years ago, though. Okay. I was like 18 or 19. Okay. But it was tough. And then you got to hit a certain amount of, you got to hit a certain time. But I think if you don't,

let's say the time is a minute and 30, right? Let's say if you go past a minute and 45, every time is going to be a glass of milk. I think we're going to do something like that. Yeah, yeah. You know? The gallon challenge. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So how does it end? What's the – Oh, I got to score a goal. Okay. So there's like a course. I'll be on rollerblades I'll have to roller skate And then Do the course And then check the mannequin Yeah

Without falling And then get the tennis ball Shoot it in on the goalie Ryan's the goalie Full pads So I mean I think it's going to be tough I don't think it'll be a long one, though. Because you're going to break your knee in half.

Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, injury. What happens if, like, an ACL or an ankle? You're asking Big Cat? Well, I mean. Hockey guys famously do not come out for me. No, hockey guys are tough.

They play with broken legs. Yeah, but there's got to be some sort of workman's comp or something. Well, I think the way you're explaining it, I think there might be a point in time where you might have to go on shoes instead of rollerblades if it's getting that bad. I do want to tape my ankles, though. Yeah. Because when I put the rollerblades on.

The chief taped you up. Oh, yeah. Have you had the rollerblades on at all? I only can get one foot in on one of them. What does that mean? What does that mean? Are they two different sizes? No, no, they're the same size, but...

Are they the right size? They're a bit too big. I told Lucas, get an eight and a half, and they're just a bit big, so they're flimsy on the inside, you know what I mean? It's not good, yeah. You got to tape... Double sock. Tape up your ankle,, yeah. You got to tape it.

Double sock. Tape up your ankle. Tape up the roller blade to your leg. Yeah, yeah, true. Just tape it all. Yeah, I'm going to just duct tape the whole entire thing. Just the whole thing duct taped. How are you feeling physically after the golf?

I'm not 100%. We were supposed to do a marathon, and I made a business decision yesterday or two days ago, and I texted Lucas. I'm like, hey, dude, I want to do the marathon, but I'm not 100%. My hands still hurt. My legs are a little sore still. That'll be maybe in a week or two. Well, no, we have Super Bowl, right? I don't know.

Maybe next week. I don't know. Yeah, are you doing something at the Super Bowl? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know Maybe next week I don't know Yeah are you doing Something at the Super Bowl Yeah Okay Yeah I'm trying to get Somebody to come on

Like an athlete Or something like that Like maybe a Watt brother Well The injury might hurt that Yeah You know The injury might hurt that

And I don't want to Get him more hurt I was actually Talking to Lucas I think the Super Bowl Could also be a Time when you do The 20,000 pound challenge And then a Watt brother to push you to the end

Yeah What if TJ's playing in the Super Bowl though? True Exactly You didn't even think about that Which makes me nervous No No, I didn't think about that

Sounds like your head's not in the game No, no, head's there For Steelers But not I mean, they have a big game that's going to be tough, but I think they could keep it close. You think they're going to win? I think they can keep it really close against Buffalo.

I think the line is disrespectful. I think the Steelers have played hard all year. Josh Allen, I mean, he turns the ball over a lot. He's great, but I don't know. I mean, we're going to have to be enemies Sunday. Yeah, you and I are enemies Sunday. Unfortunately, yeah. Nick will be there, though.

Hell yeah. Back you up. How's B doing? B? He's not doing well. I'm fine. Down today. I mean, look, he hasn't said a word.

Jerry, I'm sitting right here. You could have asked me. I know. He's being respectful. Why? If you don't want to talk, he didn't want to talk to you. He was just asking how B's doing. Yeah.

Jerry, I'm good. Thank you. Last night, I know you went through a lot yeah thank you jerry i'm good how are you doing i'm all right good did you bet on michigan at all he did last night i won so much money yeah did you really oh yeah there was a moment in time when it was the only thing that would have been the worst for brandon is if michigan had won by three i i hit him the the line i made it ten and a half i hit the quorum two tds along with something else that's great oh all right all the fixings yeah i win back almost everything you've lost in the last month not everything but about half of it hell yes yeah how's kb is he okay

he's sick covid. Why do you go right there? Everybody's getting COVID again. What? Is that for real? Yep. Are people testing? People are testing. People are testing? Yep. I won't ever test again. I'll never test again. Not again. Four is enough. I'm done.

Never again. Never get the vaccine. Never test. Four COVIDs or four tests? Four COVIDs and four tests. I think I'm at two COVIDs. Oh, you're four for four. I might be at three. I'm at three COVIDs. Three COVIDs?

Yeah. Did you even make those public? One was very public because I had to be in a hotel room for a whole. That was like at the height of it. Really? Right after the Super Bowl. I don't know if I was at Barstool that time. We had a gambling house in Philadelphia.

That wasn't there. We just passed COVID around. Oh, that thing was COVID. It was just every time we'd go down there for a weekend, someone would come back with COVID. I got the final four. Yeah. Remember when we would test at the office,

but they wouldn't actually tell us who had it? Yeah. That was crazy. That was a wild policy. Yes. But then you were pulled up to the office if you were in contact with that person. Yeah.

They would just send out an email every, was it Monday and Thursday? They'd be like, 55 tests, four new cases. And we're all just like, wait, what? Oh, man. All right, well, Jerry After Dark, everyone please tune in. It's going to be great. Oh, yeah, Lucas, I caught him drinking earlier today. I know, he's a dude him drinking oh there we go you guys

went to Swift and Sons yeah we did got the magic show well I wanted people to unfollow him and then people just followed him which backfired on me yeah he's not even worth a follow he's been boozing dude yeah no he's been he's been hitting it hard I know yeah man he's bubblegum punk pussy man got a little taste of it. That's it. All right. Everyone tune in tonight. Good yak, boys. Yeah.

Good yak. Everyone please subscribe. We'll see everyone tomorrow. How many subscribers do we have? We have 135. We've got to get to 150. Maybe we've got to do a subathon. We should do a Jerry After Dark yak.

Yeah. We're down for Jerry After. But then we'd have to do it on the yak-thon. We should do a Jerry After Dark Yak. We're down for Jerry After Dark, but then we'd have to do it on the Yak. Oh, okay. Yeah, we'd love that. It is after dark now, really. Dark already happened. Is it dark already?

I haven't seen this. No, the dark happened. Now we're after dark. The sun came up. After dark is day. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is after dark. Jerry's show makes no sense. Jerry's show is

Jerry during dark. This is Jerry after dark. Before light? Yeah. It's kind of like Saturday Night Live being Sunday morning. Shit, I didn't even think about that. After dark makes no sense. We could do it on the Yak and it's

still Jerry after dark. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, we're going to do a sub-a-thon at some point. We have to. Please subscribe, though. A lot of people who are watching who have not subscribed, please subscribe. Okay, see you everyone tomorrow. Good Yak. Good Yak. Outro Music Happy birthday, me.