The Yak - Brandon's Neighbor In Mississippi Secrets Are Exposed | The Yak 7-20-22

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Brandon's Mobile ReturnYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa! Yo. Yo. Yo. Kyle. How are the dementors in prison? Yeah, prison Kyle.

Listen, I was self-conscious rocking this for the first time. No, you look good. You look like a woman that's painting her own house. I was going to go with an AIDS patient, but yeah, that's the name. It's terminal appearing. 90s terminal, though. Yeah, right. It's, yeah, you're like, you look like you're about to get made fun of by Puck on Real World

Season 1. But you also might be a Bash brother, so he has to watch out. Yeah. It's like 90 degrees, dude. It's dropping every bead of sweat coming down. Oh, that's what it is? The dog days of summer. It is.

And I'm an English Mastiff. Yeah. Mr. Dream with no exit doors. You need to be like one of those bulldogs. Just lie on some ice. Yeah, and I'm an Irish wolfhound. Yeah, you are. You got a fucking coat on you.

I know. Fun single aunt presenting. Yeah. No, that's not what I was. I was not going for aunt or chemo. Really? That's a pinpar ride? More war vet.

Oh, yeah. It's kind of Harley Davidson. Yeah, a little bit. Kind of Harley Davidson. Or Harley Quinn. Someone's old lady. I think he looks good. Take it off.

Take it off. Take it off. It looks tough. It looks tough. Jesus Christ. Also, I said this because he walked by. Have it off. Take it off. It looks tough. Have you guys seen Booze lately? He looks hot as fuck. What? Dude, Booze got a haircut. He's got glasses.

Get him in here. I want to see how hot he looks. Single Booze, dude. This is the summer of Booze. Steven thinks he looks hot as fuck. I mean, he looks good. Do you really want to get him? Booze is hot. Yes, of course. I texted him. I want to see his fucking fine ass. Yeah, I'll see a hot dude. I told him. He walked by right after I complimented KB on his

uh... Oh, no. Who looks rough lately, Steve? Yeah. Come on. I'm trying to think. I think you guys all look good. It doesn't have to be us. Who's really kind of falling off? Who's in a flop state?

Yeah, who are you oofing? There's Booze. And it could be a compliment. It could be like, oh, wow. You're not entirely wrong. Booze got the bag he's on. He looks like he's on a mixtape tour of ours. Yeah.

All right, Booze. Come on. Sit down. Put on the headphones. This is good. Fun fact, Booze was the person we definitely thought shit on the toilet for a long time. Was not me. Wasn't him.

He was suspect six, I want to say. I'm sorry. Eight. No, you were suspect eight. No, seven. No, seven. No. Were you seven?

I think I was seven. Oh. You don't want to be seven. Is it seven who did it? I think. Yeah. You were six or eight? I think I was seven. You don't want to be seven. Was it seven who did it? Yeah. You were six or eight. I think you were eight. I think you were the last person.

You saw what seven did. Oh, I saw it. Right. And that's a crazy move in itself. Steven said that you look hot as fuck. Yeah, he called me a stud muffin. What? At a different time?

I told it to his face right before the show. Yeah. Kate, hello. You're welcome. Guys can compliment guys. No, yeah, they can, but calling another man a stud muffin unsolicited is. In fairness, I said stud. I didn't do the muffin part.

I got to be honest. It was a compliment. Yeah, it is. We're supporting each other, but it was just out of left field. We literally were just making fun of Kyle because he is terminal. And he was just like, have you guys seen booze recently? It's not terminal. It's not terminal booze.

It looked like a stud, though. It's benign. You guys match today, kind of. Yeah, we do. I have like a similar vibe going. Oh, it's just two studs. Two studs. Two studs here.

You're his caretaker. Yes, exactly. How do you attribute your glow up? To what do you attribute your glow up, booze? I wouldn't call it a glow up. Haircut and Nordstrom Rack blue light glasses. Whoa. Great glasses.

Can I see those glasses? They are very cool. You know who else used to love Nordy Rack? You know who used to love Nordy Rack? Who? The big homie, dude. Oh, Nordy Rack. Nordy Rack, dude.

$20 chef was in Nordy Rack like every day, dude. I ran into him there two times. Did you really? Twice I ran into him Did you really? He loved Nordy Rack.

Yes, I swear to God. That's one thing you got from $20 chef. He did multiple tours of Nordy Rack. We're going to do a $20 chef episode

in Nordstrom. Really? Because he loved it, dude. He really liked it. Okay, you look good in those, too.

I think I look like a nerd. You look like Clark Kent. You look a little murdery. I don't look as good as you look. Well, thank you, Big Cat. you look good in those too. I think I look like a nerd. You look like Clark Kent. You look a little murdery. I don't look as good as you look. Well, thank you, Big Cat. Talk to us about the haircut. Yeah.

Well, I've been putting off this haircut forever just because I'm just too lazy. And on Monday, I just decided let's come to work late. I'm going to get a nice haircut. Stop them Fleischmans. And I think it's worth it. You always had a cute little flow. Thank you. What's the, without giving up too much,

what's the ethnicity of the barbershop? It's in Hoboken. I don't know. Oh, so white. Yes. Yeah, so it's a white bro. Mine are Russian and they're terrible. Mine are Russian as well and they're great.

They're good at, they're efficient. You're in and out. I am in and out, yeah. The, my barber, I believe he was a Latino man. Oh,

so that's a whole different way. And I was, I was actually nervous. I was the first haircut of the day and you don't know if, you know, the first haircut of the day, you know, they're still tired,

but he did a great job. I feel like first is the best of the day and I feel like the last thing you want is to be the last haircut of the day because they're weary. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. That's a good one.

Well, I mean, Stephen was sucking you off and we just had to get eyes on you. Shay, I appreciate it. You made my day. I was just walking down the hall and going to the bathroom and Shay just said I look like a stud and I really appreciate it. Thank you. No problem. Do you go to Wilkes?

Kings. Kings College. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Wilkes. Got that Luzerne County. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.kes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Got that Luzerne County. Oh, yeah. Nepperroots. Let some cousins go there.

Oh, word? I got nothing to say. Tell them, baby. I could hear you second-guess it halfway through. I don't have much on Kings College, but yeah, my cousins went there. I don't, yeah. I don't have much on King's College, but yeah, my cousins went there.

That's pretty cool. You didn't know them, they were older than you. I don't know them that well. Is there good Chinese food on campus? No, terrible. For real? It might be the worst Chinese food.

I don't think it's real, like, you know, I get the General Tso's, the sesame chicken, I don't think it's real chicken. General Tso's, that's the female cow brand. Fuck yes, booze.

Yo, so what are you working on, bro? Most Dangerous Game Show, brother. I saw that timeline. That timeline looked fucking organized as hell, dude. That was a very organized timeline. I will say, I don't think there's been much. This has been the most cared for project I i think i've been a part of at barstool and it's so worth it everybody's mind is gonna be absolutely fucking blown yeah uh on

sunday sunday 8 p.m episode one most dangerous game show hosted by our good friend uh adam ferron our best friend sass is on the show too he said he would be in today there was no way sass was coming in today. And he was like, I'm going to come back from Philly and then go back to Philly. Zero percent chance. We don't expect that from him. No. He shouldn't have said it.

He shouldn't have said it. I expected it once he said it. Yeah. I did. I was like, oh, he's going above and beyond. He's like turned over a new leaf. He wanted the credit for like being an extra hard worker. Same leaf.

Come on, dude. Same exact leaf. Is this Felix Gray? Be honest. No, he said they're Nordy. Nordy, come on. Keep up, dude. Big homie.

I didn't know if they had an agreement going. They would sell Felix Gray. Were you trying to hit him with the move from Legally Blonde? He asked a bunch of questions real fast and catches

the dude being gay? She did. Oh, yeah. You were trying to Legally Blonde him. Yeah and catches the dude being gay? Oh, yeah. You were trying to legally bond him. Yeah, you were. Great movie. I'll hold this, though. What's the name of the dog?

Oh, I just know the bend and snap. When she wets the perm. That's how he knew. You can't wet your perm. Yes. What's the name of the dog? Bruiser. Bruiser.

There it is. Bruiser. Yeah. Thank you, Kate. You're that sassy as fuck, Kate. It's Bruiser. Bruiser. Fuck yeah. Well, booze, dude. Thank you for You said that sassy as fuck Kate Bruiser Bruiser Fuck yeah Well booze dude

Thank you for popping in You are looking pretty hot Thank you guys You guys all look fantastic today by the way Thank you Oh good vibes abound Yeah Abound

Appreciate it Appreciate it guys Alright booze Take it easy bro Salute bro Salute Salute to the booze I used to like when chaps would tweet out

Everybody go text your buddies that they're handsome today and it would start such a good vibes nah I wouldn't no it would work on you no

no you never text Nick that he's handsome no fuck Nick he hates and rattled dude he could have been in class with my cousin actually

Nick you should have asked him more open-ended questions about that probed a little bit beforehand. Could have been. When did your cousin graduate? I couldn't tell you, man.

Big Cat, what's up? Owen, stop, dude. Stop being so coy. Stop being Joe Coy, dude. I can't believe Joe Coy and Chelsea Handler broke up. What? You heard that? I didn't know they were together.

You didn't listen to Chicks in the Office this week, bro. You're fucking lacking again. They did break up. They broke up. It was fucking, yeah, you got to save them up for the long drives going into the weekend. But they did indeed break up. I thought that they were built to last. She stopped.

She halted the tits. And that's why he broke up? She was the OG celebrity non-sex worker that would tweet her tits. Yeah. On like a horse. It would be, yeah. Cosplaying as Putin. Stuff like that.

Oh, they were good. They were good tits. Great. They were great. She does have great tits. Is Chewie still alive? No. I want to say no.

I don't want to say no. What do you want to say? I wish death on him. I want to say no because fuck that guy. Fuck Chewie. He was good. That bastard. Damn. He had a good run though. He had an incredible life. He did.

Is this a pet? What is this? You've never watched her show? I wouldn't call it that. Chelsea's show now. I looked at her breasts. You had a pet name. Which was Chewie. Rest in peace. I looked at her. She had a pet name. Which was Chewy. He died? Yeah.

That's pronounced Chewy? Chewy, yeah. Maybe she just said it like that. And I know a guy named Chewy who they called Chewy because of that. That kind of sucks, right? Are they still friends? Check on that. Oh, yeah. She'll text him and stuff.

She visits the grave. Yeah, on the grave. Green text, like Jason Tatum texting Kobe. Yeah. Which is cool. Sorry, I've been on my phone. I'm trying to secure a big interview, and it's not working. Oh.

I'm done. I'm done. Damn, why isn't it working? Let's air them out. Nah. I would love to, but nah. See if we can sneak them into an interview. Yeah, I can tell you later.

All right, fuck yeah. That's that fucking inside info. Steven just did a- You doing anything tomorrow? Auction. We doing anything tomorrow, Steve? Yeah, I should be here tomorrow now. Auction.

Auction. Silent. Can I bring my own paintings in? Yes. Okay. Oh, you definitely can. We can auction off literally anything we want. Because I thought about

what if I, what if it was watercolors of all of our tits? Yeah. Yeah, watercolors. How much, whose would go for the most? Yours.

I don't think so. I think disappointingly, no. I'm probably lying. My nipples are so big. Yeah, I was going to say, like, you know, in being gender equal here, we were roasting Kyle's fit.

What's with your fit today? Olive oil. You solve a problem like me. You ain't safe, man. You look like you would come in to teach geometry double fisting Diet Coke. Out of a straw. She's the one who's administering hospice care to Kyle.

I know. I look like Kyle. That's exactly what's happening. They fall in love and it's a Judd Apatow movie. Yeah, you guys have coordinated this look. It might be a funeral though. Is it a funeral? Some of you cute.

This is a weird, sad look. Either that or you're making us some great Amish pastries. It does have that. I could have that. Yeah. I actually felt really cute this morning. I actually showered and I put on a dress. I never wear a dress.

Then I got chilly in the AC and I only have this enormous Grand Canyon tour. If you want to pop back in without the thing, we could come and gas you up. Oh, we could do a bigger gas. We didn't realize it was a dress. We thought it was a skirt. No, it's a fun. Yeah, so you see where the confusion. Okay, so that looks better.

Yeah. Nobody needs that. Nobody wants that. No, so that looks better. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody needs that. Nobody wants that. No, I think. No, multiple people are pumping their face. Give us a clip. Give us a clip. I'm real.

I'm real. That was easy. That was lovely. I'll call now. Booze would have gassed you up, though. Yeah, I know. Booze came in with the positivity. Booze does have a Greyhound-like positivity. He does.

Yeah, kind of like a Labrador-style positivity. Like Spider does. Yeah. Spider has a 5% dark side, though. Yeah, I've seen a dark side. Oh, it's come out. I think it's been spreading. I think it's more.

I've never seen him. He's like spawn. The ratio's come out. I think it's been spreading. I think it's more. I've never seen him. He's like spawn. Ratio's closing in. Yeah. He's like Venom. He's just got a mean streak that he'll unveil every now and then. It's because people take advantage of him. People think that Spider can be pushed around, and it's actually he's the most hard-bodied person,

and I appreciate when he sticks up for himself. I think he deserves to. He sticks up for other people as well. Facts. He'll go on missions. Yeah. Oh, for sure, bro. Remember Ruffin Rowdy when he put that guy in a headlock who was just trying to give

us a pretzel? Remember when he landed on his feet after getting bounced off the fucking- Off the thing with a camera on it? Legend. He's a legend. The guy's a fucking legend. He was definitely, he has a body for parkour. If he had been born in a different era, he could have been a parkour legend.

You find that clip of him playing security guard at Rough and Rowdy, TJ? He was good. He moved fast. He also has hands like Kawhi Leonard. Yep. Big hands. Yeah. Massive hands.

Fast as Floyd Mayweather as well. Yeah, he's in bed before the lights go off. Yep. Cool Papa Bell. Yeah. That's Cool Papa Bell. Is that who it was? Yeah. Cool Papa Bell of the Negro Leagues. He was so fast that he was in bed before the lights

went off. Damn. Was he the first one to be that? Look at this. This guy was just trying to give us a pretzel and Spider was like, no. Yes. He grabbed him by the hips and just tossed him out of the ring. He went on the other end of that, too. His mulleted bastard. Get out of here, bro.

Spiders in the mix. Starting him like a chainsaw. What a beast. Wow. I could do his point. I did not. I was slack-jawed. Look at Spider one of the weirdest

like barstool scenarios I ever found myself in was when we all went to Talladega and everybody had rooms or whatever except we had this big bus on the infield

the big barstool bus yeah and Spider and I were the only two who were supposed to stay on the bus but Dave's hotel fell through so it was me

Spider and Dave spending the night on a bus together that's incredible and I was like goodnight who were supposed to stay on the bus, but Dave's hotel fell through, so it was me, Spider, and Dave spending the night on a bus together. That's incredible. And I was like, goodnight, Spider. Goodnight, Dave Portnoy. Wait. See you tomorrow. Who did you guys sleep? Was it the one with the bunks? It was he got the, Dave got the back king bed, but then it was me and Spider, like, bunked up. On the bunks. Oh,

that's incredible. Yeah. Dave didn't give you the big bed? He didn't give me the big bed. That's no chivalry. It was the evening. We were done doing the videos we had to do, and he was like, the next thing was this big party with all the NASCAR drivers, and I started following him. He was like, this is... Yeah, Kate.

You're not invited. Not in a mean way, but he was the only one invited, and I was so excited following him out the bus door. He was like, you're going to be on the bus, and I'm so excited following him out the bus door and he was like you're gonna be on the bus and I'm gonna keep going. It was just one of those weird like three weirdest people to wind up stuck. That is very funny. It was an interesting time.

You stayed on the bus on the way to the Super Bowl as well didn't you? I was supposed to but the toilet broke and the smell of feces was so bad that I couldn't. That was a great trip. That was a really good trip. EMT plus Kate and Roan. Virginia Tech was fun. We got to play basketball buzz.

Remember we got so high and watched SpongeBob. And then who was it? Was it Rob? Who was like, smoke is bothering me. I'm going to have to close the door. Oh, yeah. It was early Rob and Porter on that trip. Yeah.

I got so high on that bus ride that we tried to go out to dinner in Nashville. And I went down to the lobby and Larry the bus driver was in the lobby being like, where's dinner tonight? He just said that to me and I didn't say anything back. I just turned around and went right back to my room. I was like, I can't do this. I'm out. He became a character who our bus driver on that trip was like a lovely guy, but we started putting him in social clips and people liked him. By the time we got to Nashville, we walk into this bar and people are chanting his name.

And he's like this old guy from Brooklyn who was like, I can't believe this is happening. This is the coolest thing ever. And then he started showing up at other Barstool events. Yeah, he got mad that we didn't hire him. And started sending, he sent me like a ton of crazy DMs then and like blah, blah, blah, like blah blah blah and then he started posting like him and his wife there he was like in his 70s yeah like him and his wife nude in their bathtub like he started posting like there's a free crazy shit yeah we we fall too fast for people yeah because you guys have had some weird yeah we were like he was like yeah my name's larry we're like, oh, that's sick. That's like our goldfish. You're in all of our stuff.

Is it Larry Doby from the Negro League? No. Cool Papa Bell? Cool Papa Bell. Papa Bell. You just heard him say that and you just wanted to say it too? He said the Negro League earlier. And you're like, oh, we can say that?

I just wanted to say. Let me say that. Yeah. Just a real pause. Over under four and a half more references. Negro. Yeah, I just wanted to say that. Yeah. Just a real pause. Over under four and a half more references. Negro. Yeah, I just wanted to say it. Satchel Paige threw 116 lefty, 132 righty.

In the majors? I don't know. Just made it up. They had revolvers in the outfield. Are you talking about guns or doors? Yeah, the crowd. Oh. Bring guns to the game. What does that have to do with anything?

That's no different than a game in the White Sox. That would be a little switch up for the... That's like the White Sox game. What does that have to do with anything? That's no different than a game in White Sox. That would be a little switch up for the... That's like the White Sox game. Not doing that anymore. In the early 2000s. Didn't they bring knives and attack the first base coach? Yeah, they attacked him. What?

Yeah. You've got to pull this up, dude. It's White Sox Dave's uncle. Was that... No. I would 100% believe that. They had an excuse that he was giving the signs to them or something. No, it's a wild clip.

I don't know if the clip is even because it was like it was a while ago. It was a father and son ran on the field and beat the fuck out of the guy. And we're trying to stab him. Yeah. Like trying to stab the first base coach because they were on the third base side thinking that. Yeah, here it is. Wait. What is this? wait what is this

what year is this this was a long time ago yeah look that's what happened oh my god and then they get they'll get another angle of it i can't remember it was like 2006 or i can't remember what i love this oh yeah oh my god oh yeah that's white Sox Dave's brother and his dad. Oh, my God. And they're like, let's all mount each other and pretend like we're doing something. Yeah. And they just beat the fuck out of the guys. Who's like an old man.

Yeah. I don't know how the first base men on the White Sox doesn't do anything. He was just standing there backing away. I will say great father-son relationship. That's good bonding. What did you guys do? That's a closeness that I hope to have with my son Sunday. We took our shirts off.

If that was in Philly, it would be still talked about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 100%. Oh, my God. I think they were Eagles fans. They definitely were. They got lost. They were on vacation.

Why hasn't anyone run on the field yet? They had just finished tearing apart that robot and they're like, who's next? Yeah. We got a thirst for blood. It would low-key be fun to be one of the Royals guys on the bench running out with 20 dudes to go beat up two dudes.

It's free hits. Justly beating someone up. Being like the 19th guy to jump on. Yeah, like a just beating with all your bros. Just wave. What a moment. That first shot in. Not a chance of anything bad happening to you.

Have you ever seen that clip of, it might be hard to describe and you might not be able to find it. It was like a clip of like spring break and some dude hit a girl in the pool and like everyone in the pool started beating the fuck out of him. It was awesome. I love it. Just beating. Just beating is so cool. No one can say anything.

And the people filming are like calling more people in there. Come on. It's like Braveheart. I feel like the more people walloping you, the less painful it is. Probably, because at some point they're just hitting each other. It disperses the pain as well. Yeah, no one can get a clean shot with just beating.

I'll just go underwater. My uncle tells this story. That would also hurt after a minute. He was a long time ago, he was in a bar fight down in Delco, and all the guys dog pile on him. Barnabies? He talks about how he just grabbed the nearest hand

and just ripped the thumb off as much as he could. He didn't rip it off, but he just ripped it backward. What? Cranked it? And then afterwards, him and his buddies were all hanging out,

recouping the fight together. They're outside smoking and the one guy's like, I think somebody ripped my thumb off and it was his buddy that he... The melee was just so many arms and legs. He was on the fence as to whether or not his he, like the melee was just so many arms and legs. He was on the fence as to whether or not

his thumb was gone. It was just, it was just like somebody like ripped it so hard that it was like hanging. It might be off. It was still, anyway.

That happened to a group of my friends. Is my thumb hanging off my hand? Oh no, it was in a pool. Oh. Oh my God. That's a little different.

Oh, did he punch a girl? Yeah, he did punch a girl. Yeah, that was just in the back pool. Oh, and God. That's a little different. Oh, did he punch a girl? Yeah, he did punch a girl. Oh, yeah. That was just in the back. Oh, and do you know what clip I'm talking about? Yes.

One of the coolest clips ever. Just beating. Yeah. Yeah, like, just think about it. It should be like, we're 100%. It's like almost like fighting the Nazis. Yes. You know what I mean?

No one can say anything about this. Like, we're fighting Nazis. It's a just cause. It's almost like fighting the Nazis. Yes. You know what I mean? No one can say anything about this. Like, we're fighting Nazis. It's a just cause. It's sweet. I mean, this used to be built into society. People would throw stones. Yeah, but then glass houses came around. Yeah, that's true.

The evolution of the glass house. But yeah, that's why Nazis always make the best bad guys because it's like, yeah, that's a Nazi. Yeah, we can go. Guilt free. Yeah, right. Like, you should kill that guy. Or rally behind that. Confederates though is fine confederates are like prideful still true and it's like that's a whole different yeah maybe i'm speaking out of turn no no

brandon brennan needs his representation he's back home letting his freak flag fly it's confederate flag fuck yeah can we call brandon i want to talk to you had something He's back home letting his freak flag fly. It's a Confederate flag. Fuck yeah. Can we call Brandon? I want to talk to him. He had something happen to him. I don't know if he wants to say, but if he says, it would be crazy to talk about. I would like to force it out of him. He doesn't.

You know what? It's crazy. It's wild. I want to hear from his neighbor who exchanges catfish for lap dances. What? What are you talking about? Oh, you're not here for that today? Pulls up with big fucking catfish.

Someone went, this guy went viral. He was at the strip club. Oh, I didn't know he went. Two catfish. And Brandon was like, that's my neighbor. And then Brandon posted a picture. He's like, yeah, remember? I posted this three years ago when he caught this turtle.

Damn. His name is Blake. His name is Blake. Does he give it directly to the stripper? I think so. So it's someone who wants a catfish? Or is there an exchange how they have ATMs in a strip club and you can get $20 for the catfish and then tip with that?

Because what if the stripper already has catfish? That's true. That is. What if you brought it to the strip club kitchen and they gave you money in exchange for it and then they served up the catfish? For everybody. For everyone.

I mean, those are massive catfish. Or for a stripper family dinner. How much does a catfish go for? There goes Caitlin Walker. You could probably just ask her direct. I would like to know about the catfish. What's the price of a catfish these days? You might as well grab her.

I don't know who else would know. Mincy, I guess. I don't know if he would even. Are those the ones you noodle for with your fist? Yeah, you put your hand in their mouth and you just grab them. That's what it's called, noodling? Noodling.

You noodle for those? You noodle, you put your arm in there. Imagine that in human terms. You're just sitting there and there's just a hand and you're like, I'm just going to... Yeah. Oh, shit. A delicious looking hand. The scariest thing you can possibly do is stick your limb in a dark hole knowing there's

an animal in it, but you don't know which animal. Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah. That is actually very scary. Caitlin, hello. Caitlin, we were talking about your neighbor Blake. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Tell us about neighbor Blake. Neighbor Blake's a character. Yeah. So do you know how it works when he's exchanging catfish for lap dances? No, that's a new one. Yeah.

That's a new party trick he has. Okay. What's some of his other stuff? Start from the beginning, the very beginning. dances no that's a new one um yeah that's a that's a new party trick he has okay what's his what's some of his other stuff how was i that was start start from the beginning the very beginning not a second earlier i mean i don't know he just uh he's always catching random things to trade for stuff um love that he's like the craigslist uh paperclip guy who got a house he lives off the fat of the land he patrols he patrols the a house. He lives off the fat of the land. He patrols. He patrols the road at night. So their family owns part of the road, and our family owns part of the road.

So my mom lives on that road. The house that Brandon bought is on that road, and my uncle lives on that road. And he has uncles, grandmothers, everybody. So we just split the road. And at night, he'll just drive back and forth. And one night, right right before brandon bought the house he happened to see a 300 pound hog in the back of brandon's yard and so he took it upon himself he put a silencer on the gun and just went down there and shot the hog and then the next day

we're lucky it wasn't brandon and the next day he came or the appraiser came to like appraise the house and the guy like knew my mom and he called my mom and he was like Vicky there's

a massive hog like in the yard like does this happen often? He just shot it and left it there. Oh my god. Oh he didn't want to kill it. He didn't want to capture it.

No I don't he probably does have a picture or we can find it. Yeah if you find his Twitter. Was he being like nice? He was giving you guys the hog? No I think he just wanted to show it off. He wanted my uncle to see. We can find it. Yeah, if you find his Twitter. Is he being nice? He was giving you guys the hog? No, I think he just wanted to show it off. He wanted my uncle to see it.

Damn. Zoe. He's like a dog who leaves the bird that it caught on the front porch. He ended up dragging it off before my uncle saw it. And then my uncle got home and he was like, get in the truck. I got to show you where I dragged it so you can see this hog. Wait, who told you about this? And how did they tell you?

Were you home at the time or did Brandon call you and be like, you won't believe what just happened? No, it was my mom. And any time something happens on that road, she always calls me. She's like, listen, what happened today? This guy's a legend. He is. What are his vices?

Is he a beer guy? Yeah, I think he's a beer guy. If you think I have an accent, his accent is like ten times. I want to call him. Do you have his number? I don't. Damn, I can't believe two people off your street wound up in New York. No, that's the odds.

I mean, he has been, or he hung out with Sydney, outdoor Sydney once. Oh, really? in what circumstance yeah um they were showing the abandoned bus that he owns behind the house oh yeah of course of course of course you're talking about a school bus or like a local bus she was bus she was in cahoots with him separate from brandon like yeah no he's a legend. My mom happened to be walking down the street and he was like, hey, that barstool girl's in the back of my truck. My mom was like... So Sidney Wells

was on your street next to your house without any knowledge that she was next to you. Your street is so poppin'. It is. It's poppin'. Yeah, your street produces legends. I gotta buy a house on that street. 300 pound hog. I mean, he's also called a giant turtle too the snapping turtle

yeah there's Blake how much would one of those catfishes go for how much does that cost if you could sell it on the like open market or if you want to go to the store and buy one I honestly don't know no idea prices of catfish these days

really they're prized possession in Mississippi those are massive he probably went noodling. Yeah. Did Brandon return a text, TJ? No, and he ignored my call. I'm going to call him.

Should I try to call him? Let's see. Yeah. Both of you should call simultaneously. See who he answers. Text simultaneously. See who he answers first. Let's all call him.

I'll call him first, and then we'll go around. Because that way, when he sees his phone, he's like, what happened? And then we'll be like, nothing. John Rich died. John Rich noodled to death. Yeah, just tell him that. Hey, Brandon. Sorry, I was on the phone with Clemmer.

Oh, okay. That's a lie. That's a lie, TJ said. Can you call into the act? I was on the phone with Chris Clemmer. When? Can you call into the act right now? on the phone with Chris Clemmer. When? Can you call into the act right now? I'm talking about John Rush.

Call into the act right now. He has a Zoom invite in his email. Or Zoom invite. You have a Zoom invite on your email. All right, I gotta get my laptop. I'll be there in two minutes. All right, bye. Stay here because he'll freak out that you're here.

We'll just be like, oh yeah, Caitlin's part of the act. Want to be hosting? Hosting? Yeah, that'd be good. All right. Roback. Roback.com. Use code YAK for 20% off your first purchase.

Roback.com. I saw I got a big thumbs up. Roback. You want to spin the wheel while we wait? Yeah. Let's spin it. Roback. Roback.

Roback. Roback. Roback.itz. Roback Ritz. Roback. Roback. Rubble Ritz crackers. Roback in my tummy. Wood shampoo sauce. Someone commented that Roback's actually good for teething for your baby. It's an acquired taste.

It's like a Belvita bar, though. It'll get you regular. Right. Lots of fiber in it. I've been... Monster dip. I think monster dip is the worst thing on the wheel, right? It's dealer's choice. You can decide what dip,

but you have to do a monster dip. It's either tobacco or... Finish an entire thing of... Queso? Queso or seven layer. It's either tobacco or finish an entire thing of queso or seven layer. It's your choice. Or you could jump in a pool. Would you just do the queso? Obviously dip it,

right? You're not going to resort to a spoon. I think you just have to get some chips and dip. That kind of sounds nice. The whole thing? It's just the Tostitos thing isn't that big. You have to eat the whole thing. I've done that. I not, I've done that. I feel like I've done that. You grew up eating whiz, David.

Yeah, that's. You would have a can of whiz every morning. That's what, queso is definitely like top of the list of like things that you feel bad after you eat the whole thing and you're like, wait. Yeah. No one else had any of this? That's the worst feeling. You're like, so wait, you had half, right?

Like, nope, I haven't had any of that oh you were just doing salsa yeah shit i ate the whole thing that was me whoopsies yeah oh there he is oh who is that miss you brandon is that russell crowe brandon hello hello hi hi we got the whole yak here i see i see uh owen and oh god damn it what are you doing i'm just hanging out she's just hanging out i'm not asking you what you're doing what what what are y'all doing why y'all doing this he's our new play toy we're hearing about hearing about your neighbor brandon positively reinforce your sister. Yeah. Tell her good girl. I hate that so much.

I'm going to keep running that one back. Alright we were talking about your neighbor Blake but I also mentioned if you wanted to tell the story of your last three days but you might not want to tell it but it's crazy. Oh yeah you need to tell that story uh so uh yeah so the reason i'm down here is my lease ended june 30th and my new one started

august 1st i was paying 62.50 for a nice house in jersey uh and they called me yesterday and i'm supposed to move in august 1st and they said the deal is off and And I said, why? And they said, because the landlord passed away. He was in Aruba. He was in Aruba. How crazy is this? What? He was in Aruba and a wave got him. No.

Yes. And so now I don't have a house. So now I'm debating. I'm talking to people about houses in Jersey this morning. But I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm going to be back August 1st I'll probably be back by myself and live in a hotel for a while I'm just going to sleep on my couch Are you screening the new landlords?

See maybe a swim test? If they're alive Your landlord just went to Aruba for probably a dream vacation and died Fucked up A wave got him? for probably a dream vacation and died. Fucked up.

Very fucked up. A wave got him? He leaves behind a wife and believed kids. Oh, that's awful. This is awful. Yeah, that is tragic. Yeah, I'm trying to find the silver lining. Well, the silver lining is Brandon screwed.

Yeah, that's it right there. Brandon screwed. That's unfortunate. it right there. Brandon screwed. That's unfortunate. Would there have been a specific day he could have passed that you would have gotten the house for free? No, because he... I don't think so, because I think I'd have to be in it first to have rights. Aren't there people that are still in it that you just get to stay in it? Yeah.

No, he was in it. Oh. You're going to rip from him. It's probably one of the most hated professions. Landlord? Did you have history with her? Were you in Aruba too? I was not in Aruba.

No, I'm in Starkville, Mississippi. Can you explain the Blake trading catfish for lap dances? Also, what's the price of a catfish? How much does a big catfish for lap dances? Also, what's the price of a catfish? How much does a big catfish go for? Oh, well, the bigger catfish are actually cheaper because the meat's not as good. But so Blake Miller wanted to see some titties, and he didn't have money, so he went down to the Pony,

which is about four miles south of the house, and he took in two catfish to try to trade him for lap dances. I believe he was successful as well. Wow. And then did you ever get a picture of the hog that he killed? Okay, I haven't got a picture of the hog. I understand it was a 300-pound hog. It was the biggest hog we've ever killed on Trim and Trick Row,

but I haven't seen it yet. He'd have a field day in San Antonio. He's got the record for the road. Where is this a part what is this thing you on your Charles Barkley shit he would love it I'll tell you

that's uncouth what is this guy's thing how did you let us take the southern name in vain calling Mincy the king of the south when this guy exists oh that's just Dave's stupid-ass thing. See ya. See ya.

Why did she leave? You scared her. She's uncomfortable. Okay. All right. She's been on the show every week. Something about trauma? Yeah.

Kate, why are you dressed like a Mennonite guy? Oh! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. Even my legs look like old lady legs. I don't know why.

You're going to sell me some fucking muffins. Did you see Kyle's look? Kate's about to teach AP math on an abacus. Look at Kyle, though. Look at Kyle real quick. That's Kyle. Kyle can do that. I don't know why the thighs are out that much, but whatever.

How about his bandana? Yeah, you don't see his bandana? No, your tweet was right. It's prison KB. That's right. It's prison Kyle. Yeah. Okay, so you saw that already.

Worst thing was the dementors. I'm late, but you're wearing that. It's like a ha-ha. I don't think all prisoners should. He's not. No? Okay. I wasn't.

I thought it looked cool. It does. Okay. It does. Looked up a tutorial on YouTube. I had to tie it. It was a black guy. I did the white guy first.

Okay. And the black guy. Then met somewhere in the middle. Okay. My mom used to wear them when she cleaned the house. Yeah. I said like a woman painting the house. Yeah.

It's kind of the vibe. All right, Brandon. Anything else? Melissa Etheridge. No. I'll be back soon. Sorry I haven't gone for a month. My whole world is collapsing upon itself. Your landlord died.

Yeah, I mean, that's... Oh, your world's collapsing? Yeah, I'd say that guy had it way worse. My dad died, too, two months ago. I still get to remember that. I think the statute of limitations on that have long passed. The cat's actually lost four grandpads. Yeah, so this is not... No. Can we look for a house for you, though? What area code are you looking in? There's a statute of limitations on that. It's long past. The cat's actually lost four grandparents.

Yeah, so this is not, no. Can we look for a house for you, though? What area code are you looking in? We'll find you a nice one. I want one in Jersey somewhere. I don't care. It can be anywhere. Be my neighbor.

Be my neighbor. Where are you moving? You could tell me three states, and I would believe you. I was going to be moving from Emerson, New Jersey, to Orodell, New Jersey. Now, Creskill, New Jersey wants a part of me. Oh, they're offered a scholarship? Yeah, they're offering. They were trying to recruit me this morning. Starkville, Mississippi

has made a wonderful offer down here. So I bought a house in Mississippi too. I don't fucking know. Oh, so you're double dipping? Wow. Why don't you get a couple apartment units in Doug's and Frank's apartment complex? Jerry's.

Wouldn't that be nice? You lose you? Wouldn't that be nice? Oradell's got some real nice shit. Oradell's nice. Bill Parcells lived there. The big tuna? Yeah.

He grew up in Oradell. I see a one bedroom right here for $2,000. You should try out by Greenwood Lake, Passaic County. What about Montclair? It feels like you're in a different state. Montclair is really fancy. Montclair is very fancy. Montclair has a train station, right?

It does. It doesn't run on the weekends. It's a lie. Oh. It's a scam. Rutherford. You can find some very conservative parts of Long Island. Yeah.

I don't really require conservative parts, Owen. Is there something that you're ascribing to me? Yeah, I thought we were all under the impression that was the only selling point. Got to be a red county. Right. Then come to Brooklyn, brother. Eat some bugs with us. Yeah.

Tommy found that lighter when he came to Brooklyn. That was cool. Yeah, he still has that fucking lighter, too. Is it still good? Is it still working? Hey, we need to schedule the actual Tommy Walker Day. We need to do an actual Tommy Walker Day before football season. What's his mindset?

What's his aura? He's loaded up pretty good. He went to his grandmother's, and I haven't seen him since. Oh, wow. He's loaded up. Yeah, he lives his own life now, and I haven't seen him since. Oh, wow. He's loaded up. He lives his own life now and he doesn't need me anymore. Are you about to start managing Alec Bennett? I thought about it, but I don't really have a close enough relationship.

When I manage somebody for Ruff and Rowdy, I'm going to do the whole Bobby Heenan thing. It needs to be somebody that I'm close with. Who are you hoping for? Kaitlyn? No, she can't fight. I'm not letting her fight in the rough and rowdy. I think she can do what she wants.

I don't think so. She's a grown-up. She can probably do anything you can do, right? I got her the internship. I got her the full-time job. I got her the apartment. I run her life. You sound like that British dude that was on BFF.

You own her, huh? That fake British dude. Is he British or does he just talk funny? He lives in Romania. Wait, now, Brandon, when you say that, do you get a cut of Caitlyn's OnlyFans? She doesn't have one.

She's a smaller creator. She just started a couple weeks ago. We got her on there. I would love to see what the bottom 99% of OnlyFans looks like. Yeah. Everybody's the top. Gruesome.

Oh, man. It's not that bad. Glennie should do that. It should be like penny stocks on his Glennie Balls 500 or whatever. He should have a cheaper version. Yeah, building a Moneyball roster for your OnlyFans. Really budgeting it. You had to budget it.

Scott Hattieburg of titties. Just exclusively have heavy hitters. I guess you can. And a one-armed girl in Vermont. Yeah, that could be dope though. Alright, Brandon, we miss you. Thank you very much. Sorry, I'll be back August 1st. Stop apologizing. It's okay, you don't have to apologize. Nice to see you. Miss you.

Sass just skipped today for no reason. You're a piece of shit, Brandon. Got him. Got his ass. I miss that goofy motherfucker. I hate to admit it. Our goof ratio has gone down when he leaves. We need more goof.

Goofy ass bitch. He's a crucial energy to the show. He is's a vibe he is a vibe yeah like who else would leave exactly an hour in to eat his chick-fil-a yeah you don't have that got this like low vibration vibe that i really dig sounds like his vibe is like uh He's a A didgeridoo Yeah an old refrigerator Yeah KB if I saw you

On the subway today I'd be afraid You were about to Perform something Yeah Oh yeah If you went on the subway Right now with a boombox

I feel like everyone Would tense up And be like oh no Got selling counterfeit shit On a On a STD muffin Yeah

What's up brother This guy's got an interesting Yeah who's this guy Oh that's Ian Ian Yeah we've been Got selling counterfeit shit on a blinding ride. What's up, brother? This guy's got an interesting look. Who's this guy? Ian Fidance. Ian Fidance. He is a wild character. Is he a comedian?

Should we try to go back to back to him? Yes, should we go BTP? He's a wild, wild guy. I mean, we could give it a shot. We're on a hot streak. He was one of the craziest people at Pride. Yeah, I don't think we should. No? No.

We shouldn't ride this hot street? Didn't you just make a joke about him a couple days ago on the show? I did, but no, I'm fine with that. We dressed as him for the case race. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. It was a reference that I didn't get.

It was rather erudite, I thought. How tall is Frankie Muniz? Short. I thought that picture was manipulated, wasn't it? It looked... No, he's a wee man. He thought that picture was manipulated, wasn't it? It looked... No, he's a wee man. He's petite in every angle, though. Very nice guy.

He's a very down-to-earth guy. You mean short? Are you talking about shortness? He is very down-to-earth, yes. No, he's awesome because he is the rare... Whenever you talk to a child actor and then they kind of fall... Not fall off the map,

but disappear from the public eye. Everyone's like, oh, what happened? He's like, I made so much fucking money and I've just been living my life. It's been awesome. Yeah, people forget about that. Big Fat Liar is like top five movie all time for me. Really? Yeah. Does he have an awesome Instagram presence or something

like that? Twitter. He claps back on the Twitter. Yeah. I feel like Nate blogged about his presence on some social media. Yeah, some guy was like, oh, Frankie Muniz, terrible actor, and he replied and was like, I'm a terrible actor,

but I also made $40,000 by the age of 18, so my life is pretty sweet. I just kind of like that. Describe the figure again. A we. 40,000? 40 million, sorry. 40 million. Describe the figure again. A we. 40,000? 40 million. Sorry.

40 million. 40 million. My bad. I actually made 40,000. I made 40,000 and I put it off that. Having $40,000 fucking does sound sweet though. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It'd be amazing. Just having that as like a... Bailey kind of does that. He uses like hypothetical terms that are as exact like bank account. He weaves it in. It would be awesome to have $132,000 in a rooftop in a Rolex. Should I buy beach property or an apartment in New York? Or both?

That was a little question. Yeah, he's crushing it, killing it. Him and Josh Diem, dude. I saw Josh Diem fucking, he had just bought Malibu Beachfront property, a $12 million house off his fucking consultant for six months. Dude, Bonner's stunt doubling. He's going to be doing QB sneaks for Brady this year. No way.

No, he is. How did he land that? Season 13. So Josh Diem, he bought that Malibu property just for his shoes, though, right? I think so. This is where he's going to keep all his shoes? For his slides.

Yeah. Santa Cruz for the beaters. Yeah, it's fucking fire. But some stuff in Malibu, like all Malibu isn't created equal, obviously. Right. He still has room to grow. I'm not saying Josh Diem has peaked.

I won't say that. I need a Roan take on the infrastructure of Cape Coral, Florida. All right, I got to get down there and check it out. Live show? Cape Coral? If we'd done the little Conzo journalism? Can't we all get a game of chance or something? Or how about the auction money we make tomorrow?

Instead of giving to any type of charity or fund, we just use to go to, what is it? Cape Coral. So, explain to me, I'm going to be a little KB right now. Explain to me like you guys, TJ, you haven't told us exactly what's happening tomorrow. Yeah, are there parameters?

Okay, so there's an app, it's an auction-based app called Whatnot that I will put a link in the chat in right now if you want to sign up thank you tj and tomorrow we'll be live streaming on that app and you the viewers can bid on auction items all the money goes to the barstool funds we can auction off whatever we want and so how so they can watch on youtube but then they'll buy it on... We'll show it on YouTube, but if you want to participate in the auction, you have to get on Whatnot. The link's in the top of the chat right now. So I'm going to pick

out a few things that we'll auction. Everyone should come to tomorrow's show with a couple items. Two to four things. The money's going where? Barstool Fund. That's bullshit. We didn't get to talk about that at all. I think small businesses have had enough. Wait, no, no, no. I'm going to say right now it's not going to the Barstool Fund. That's bullshit. We didn't get to talk about that at all. I think small businesses have had enough.

Wait, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm going to say right now it's not going to the Barstool Fund. And it is not going to the Ukraine. No, it's going to the Yak Slush Fund. Yeah, we're going to do some sweet shit with it. We're going to start our own slush fund that we can use for... They thought we'd be more willing to do it if it was for charity. Right.

No, no, no. That kind of sinks the ship. And Yak fans, I think, would rather give it to the Yak Slush Fund because the Yak Slush Fund will... Yeah. I'll say right now, it has to be used by the Yak as a collective for the show.

So it's not the Yak Slush Fund we're all going to go drink on Friday. It's the Yak Slush Fund. The next big purchase we want to make or some weird thing we want to do, we will use the Yak Slush Fund. I just want to sub-note that my notes on this does say strictly must go to charity.

Why? I don't know. Calling the higher-ups. Get Hank in here. How hard would it be to create a charity? We have a lawyer. What is the umbrella of charity? Yeah, what is that?

I think the Yak fans would rather see us use it for something crazy. You want me to bring Aria in? Yes. Yeah, what is that? I think the Yak fans would rather see us use it for something crazy. You know what I mean? Bring Aria in? Yes. Yes. One other note is that if you use the link that TJ pinned in the chat, then you get $10 free on whatnot to bid for. Oh, that's a good sign.

Nothing will go for $10 in our auction. I guarantee you that. But you can still use $10. High value shit only. We're like Sotheby's. Now this might be crazy, but I think it might work. What if I auctioned off $1,000 cash? How much do you think people would pay for it? I think it would go

dumb. I think that you could get $10,000. I would get in a bidding war. I would go up to $980 and then if someone did $1,011, I would go $1,012. Okay. It might not be $1,000, but I'm going to auction off some cash. Auction off a $100 bill.

Yeah. $500. Yeah, $500. Yeah. The $10 off coupon, then you get that for $0.90 or something. Well, let's see where the auction, because it's an auction, so someone's going to bid. I want to see how much we can sell $1,000 for. Yeah.

Okay. Is it going to be all singles or something that you've touched or spit on or something? Or is it just regular old? We could sign it. We could sign them. I want it to be just no other. If it was all $1 bills that I turn into Roan dollar bills by putting an R on them. Then it would make sense that people paid more than $1,000 for it.

Yeah, you're right. He's right. Okay. Aria. We'd like to keep the money. For the Yak Slush Fund. Honestly? Before we get to that, you look incredible. Yeah, you look great I think

Yeah, what's the beard line up looking fucking fantastic on the beard line is that Cuban link? Oh, yeah. Oh fuck. Yeah The teas have been drippy you would you had like Hard to wear a chain like that when the Barstool Fund is still accepting donations. True. And you were the accountant for the Barstool Fund, right? Yeah, somehow that happened. But honestly, I think I could talk to sales. It was just originally that's how we were going to, for all of the whatnot stuff that we do,

we were just going to put everything to the Barstool Fund. But I think people will be more interested if it's because the Yak Slush Fund is going to be specifically for yak purchases only. So we won't use it for personal use. It will be like, hey, we want to do this fun thing

or we want to go to a live show or whatever it may be. And our daddies will buy that for us. Our daddies and mommies in the auction. What's the chat saying right now, TJ? Are they in on this or what? Somebody said KB should auction off a date. Make them fruit?

Yes. Wow. Yes, yes. I will go to a concert with somebody. Whoa. That's so much more intimate, I feel. Yeah. Yeah, that is.

No, he'll leave. Oh, he'll leave. He'll abandon. He'll enter the concert with them. Yeah. But it has to be a woman, though. I guess. They have to be attracted to you.

They do. No type of platonic shit. Yeah, they have to. They have to prove it, too. Okay, how much are you setting the bidding at for that? To go to a concert with me? No, it's one. People are bidding on one blowjob given to Kyle.

I can get the... Start it at $2,000. I can one blow job given to i can i can get the started at 2000 i can get third party tickets i got you on the tickets um third party tickets what the fuck yeah a lot of the best the best concerts sell out fast then you get third party tickets yeah got a guy okay uh game time 80 bucks no what you are 2000 You are. 2,000. Yeah, just give me, I need like two. Well, it's an auction, so we'll start at 80. I think people will pay thousands in the end to go on a date with Kyle.

That's why we have to start it at, we got to start it at thousands and see if we can get to mid five figs. Yeah. Because you're worth it, brother. And I don't like

your self-worth right now. Yeah. It's low. It's so low. It's very low. That's like popcorn and a large soda. Like, that's not enough.

I want to go with someone who only kind of wants to go with me. Not it. No. We're trying to make money for a slush one. I want to see. I had never seen Cape Coral. I don't even know what the hubbub is about. It's not.

The way you were talking about it. It's not hubbub. It's more. Really? You don't fuck with it. It's all convoluted canals. Can you pull up Capepe Coral Canals? Is that where you have to walk like two miles to go 50 yards across the canal?

Yeah, I personally think it looks awesome. Can you pull it up? Is it going off on Twitter or not? People always talk shit about it on geography content. All the buffs out there. There's a resurgence of like... Or a beginning of... Urban planning. No.

People hate suburbia now. Yeah. I just saw a TikTok about this place. And it was an urban planning about how like... How it's inaccessible? Yeah. Do like a bird's eye view. Like the map.

Yeah, like that one. Like being a food delivery driver here is a nightmare. Yeah, that was the screenshot I saw, I think. Yeah. It was 40 minutes to walk around the block or something like that yeah like if you wanted to get from that point to that point you have to like go i don't know okay let's all right let's get there let's spend our money on a on a trip to cape coral is that fair i want to go on a trip with you i think it's dope i think it's you can't the biggest Airbnb we can find?

That's a good question. In Cape Coral. What were you about to ask for? Side note, can we auction off a live show for one dude? Yes. That's amazing. So we should have a group, a bunch of non-angible things. Yeah. NF, non-fungible shit.

Oh, we should do a one-man yak so they can come to the office. We'll go into a conference room. No video, no audio. We're going to let it fly. Yeah. Yeah. No video. An hour?

Yeah. Yeah, I think it has to. They can't even come here, though. The wheel? They have to come here. Can we film it? Or what if we also sell the footage of that to someone else? Sell the audio to someone else like the Wu-Tang shit, like the Shkreli.

We could Shkreli out the video of it. And then the video of it, the one off. But that same person can buy both things. Yeah. Okay. All right, Aria, so you're going to get that done for us? And KB's date. Yak Slush Fund.

Yep, Yak Slush Fund. How many things should we have? We can have as many as we want, honestly. We could do... I put seven down as a placeholder, but... I think it'll be more. Yeah, we can keep... Yeah.

We keep adding. Tell anyone who asks that Stephen will be in charge of the Yak Slush Fund. Got it. Because he's an honest man. Got it. He will be in charge of it. He's a shrewd accountant. I'm going to help Stephen with that.

Bro, I think whatnot. We're going to end up going to the moon. Yeah, it's going to be really fun. So everyone join. Everyone join. Thank you guys. I'm stoked for this. Yakko's to the moon?

Dude, what if we funded a fucking revolution in Venezuela or some shit like that? What if we used a slush fund to buy arms? Yeah, some shit like that. A Sri Lankan. What's going on with Sri Lanka? Isn't their fucking leader just... What's going on with Lee? Yeah, they're all hanging out in his pool.

That was awesome. He's swimming in his pool. What about Sudan, though? Except it was a little January 6th-ish we were talking about. Nah. They were all cool. When it happens there, it's sweet.

There's not going to be the fucking July 15th trials on fucking Sri Lanka. Yeah. They're praising them. It's fucking sweet. the fucking July 15th trials on fucking Sri Lanka. Yeah. They're praising them. It's fucking sweet. They ain't eating the crickets over there either. No. Why are all these comedians in here, dude?

What's this motherfucker doing in here? Yeah. Oh, shit. How much? Mark Norman. Mark Norman. Oh, yeah. He's a dog.

He's a scrapper. He's a big deal. I remember because I interviewed him once and I said Mark Normand. I pronounced it wrong. It was very embarrassing. Was he on the... No, he wasn't on the... He was on the K-Straight. Yeah, he was. On the beer episode, yeah. I pronounced it wrong. It was very embarrassing. Was he on the... No, he wasn't on the... He was on the K-Straight.

Yeah, he was on the beer episode. We should ask him. He's very funny. What are all these comedians doing in here, bro? Let's get Mark Normand in here. What type of goofy shit is this? Yeah, this is goofy as fuck. I think he went to the bathroom, Steven, and then he...

You could tell how he was waddling. There's funny guys everywhere. If he's doing KFC radio, I don't want to fuck with a guest that they're about to have on. He's just hanging. But if he's just hanging, which he probably is. Hanging and banging? He's probably just fucking going on Unnecessary Rough or some shit like that. Yeah, that's true.

We'll fuck with that. Yeah, I could easily fuck with their shit. It's off season. All they're doing is we should just sell some of Brandon's shit behind you guys. Oh, yeah. Let's sell this entire thing. People go berserk for helmets. Autographed.

Autographed. Autographed. We got to autograph all the shit and then sell it and then buy him other cheaper helmets. Yeah. Oh, you get to upload an hour episode of wrestling. No, we'll put IOUs on there like Dumb and Dumber. We'll just put a bunch of IOUs on his shelf. Jim Hardball.

Wow. Who's that dumbass? Chauncey the Chanticleer would be pretty good. Brandon had an emotional breakdown one day and broke all of his shit. Oh, that's...

Because somebody said the blind side was good. Oh, man. So that's why all of his bobbleheads have no heads. Broke them all. Never had one before. Never had one before.

A bed? We got to sell all the helmets. A white bed. Oh, his cowbells? No, bed. Oh, it's cowbells? No, let's just only sell his cowbells. Cowbells only. What if we don't even sell it, we just throw it in the trash? I'm down with that.

So no one even gets to kind of benefit for it. We deface it first. What if we buy it and then we sell it back to him? I paid for this one, so I'll sell this to you. Okay. Perfect. Or what if we took a dump in it and just gave it back to him like an ice cream cone? That'd be good.

Someone's definitely taking a dump in a cowbell in an SEC football rivalry. For sure. 100%. KB, you think you could retain dump for 18 days or so and get a nice ice cream cone? No, I poop around the clock. What if you worked to retain it? No. What about opioids?

Not happening. Isn't that how Elvis died? He was backed up from opioids? He had too much. So much shit, he ended up swallowing his shit to death. Damn, it just came out of his mouth. Yeah. Like South Park.

South Park, yeah. Fucking South Park. Those bastards, those rich bastards, they're probably fucking rolling in cash. Oh, yeah. Hell, they're rolling fucking rolling in cash. Oh, yeah. Hell, we're rolling in cash. Can we auction off? Like a Mormon, too.

Yeah, can we auction off, like, people here that were not actual people? I don't know if. No, hear me out. Who? Billy? Yeah, Billy. Billy. Yeah.

Billy has, like, a hired hand. Yeah. Billy has like a hired hand. He's like a ranch hand. Somebody suggested auctioning off Joe Montana with the peanut M&M. Oh, that would be a great lot. Steven just gave me some kind of money shot. Can we start it all at like $100, though? It would be super disheartening to sell something for $18. I don't want anyone getting a good deal.

Well, what if it's like junk? I still don't... I don't want people getting good deals. It's going to cost like $15 to ship stuff. We want the slush fund to like grow. We want to put these little drops in the bucket in the slush fund aren't going to get us to Cape Canaveral or whatever the fuck KB's talking about.

Part of me is curious. Like, would it crush my self-esteem or would it be good if I put a nude on here for the slush fund? Oh! But, like, because a little part of me is curious, like, how much... Is there someone sick enough out there to pay, like, how much would I go for like how much would I go for? How much would I go for? Or would it just die and nobody bids on it?

A tasteful one. Paint yourself. I don't know. Aren't you guys curious to know how much would somebody spend to see a close up of your butthole? Anyone would spend any money to see my butthole.

I think you're wrong. I don't know. Anyone would spend any money to see my butthole. I think you're wrong. I would. I genuinely think somebody out there would pay like big bucks to be at a bar and be like, yo, this is Roan's actual butthole.

Yeah, you're right, Kate. Conversation piece. People would pay more than you think and I'm just like, I am a little curious. How do you even confirm it? How do you even get the, I mean,

people would spread that rumor. We would know. My calling card my spokes are like my iris they're one of one it's like my fingerprint whenever you go through clear you have to show your asshole what is your cut off figure Kate

from distraught to content what would humble you what would really bring you down I didn't get more than I'm going to throw out a number. I'm just talking to you. If you... Tits?

Yeah. Face? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which might bring it down. What if... I don't know.

How would you feel about $85? I would... I think you got to be in like the 500s. No, I'm telling you straight up. You would get a lot. But if you got like a 120, would you? No, I feel like 500 would be the bottom. Yeah, 500 feels like, oh, that's nice.

And if I made like 850, I would be like, all right, I got it. I think you'd make like 10,000. But Kate, there's also a number that it like reverses. Like if someone paid like five grand, you'd be like, oh. What are they doing? Right, right, right, right. Yeah, there's definitely a zone. I think you want to be like 850 to like five grand you'd be like oh what are they doing right right right right yeah there's definitely a zone yeah i think you want to be like 850 to like 1200 because we've done some like raise money for charity stuff here before we're like oh this

is awesome and then someone's paid a ton for something you're kind of like oh yeah oh chris i liked him who yes yeah chris from hawaii oh know who he's talking about. Chris from Hawaii. Oh, yeah. He was in Hawaii. Where you're kind of like, whoa, that's a lot. But I don't know. So you're right. I think anywhere over five grand, I'd be like. Yeah, that's something. Something's up.

You've got some weird fetish that I have going on that's weird about me that I don't know. Yeah, right. That you're, yeah. But there is like, I get why some people might start an OnlyFans to be like, well, what do I go for? Right. There's a curiosity nugget there. Yeah.

The market. It's always nice to know what your market value is. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I'm already thinking about the slush fund. Right. Because that's what I'm thinking of. I'm like, sell good things so we can boost the slush fund. I was thinking, what if we all got dirt bikes?

I want to do something. Yeah. Wouldn't that be cool? Four wheelers? Four wheelers maybe? Or like the mini bikes and we just fucking rolled around the office in them. Yeah, wouldn't that be cool? Four-wheelers? Four-wheelers maybe? Or like the mini-bikes and we just fucking rolled around the office in them. Four-wheelers?

Seat from Rocky. Most recent one, Michael B. Yeah, that would be so fucking sweet. Or I was looking at boat prices. Some boats are cheap. Pontoon boat is my dream. Yeah, pontoon boat would be cool. You could buy a boat from the 70s for like $12,000 and it'll be a big boat. Probably doesn't

float or anything, but you could get it. What do you think? Summer Friday yaks or else just floating in a boat. How much do you think it would cost to put a hot tub in here? Not that. Glenn had a blow up one. Oh, but like a real one with like water hooked up, everything. I don't know.

Imagine if we just had a hot tub in the middle. I think 10 grand. Just like, yeah, let's get a hot tub. Shipping would be a lot. Getting it in here. Yeah. They'd have to construct it in here. Or they could probably just take down a pane of glass and re-fit up the pane of glass. It's like getting a

truck in the mall. Quake said it'll auction off a day of graphic services. Whoa! Graphic services? That could go either way a fucking sloppy blowjob? Super graphic services for my boy. The Washington Wild Things had a fucking hot tub. The Wild Things? What's that, a minor league?

Or is that hockey? It's not even one of the A's. The Diamondbacks. Non-affiliate? It's like the Frontier League. Rutgers has a... They had a hot tub for one game in 2018 against Washington. Rutgers offered me the first pitch.

Yeah. You want to do it? No, not really, to be honest. I would like to support them, though. You want to do a wrestling meet? No, not even that. Unless AJ Ferrari lands there. Which he won't.

Would Rutgers baseball let me pitch an inning? Yeah, I would pitch an inning. I'd pitch an inning. I want to see how I would do against Marist. They probably won't. What else can we auction, though? What type of other services do we have that are of value? You think I could get a strikeout against Ryder?

Yes. You could strike out. You could get strikeout. No, you think I could strike out I could get a strikeout against Ryder? Yes. You could strike out. You could get strikeout. No, you think I could strike out a batter? No. Yes. Ryder? I believe in you.

Ryder? I think if you just throw enough strikes, people will miss. Correct. I don't think so. I don't think I would. I think I would get a couple outs. If you told everyone on your team,

don't make an out in the field. If someone hits it to you, drop it. I think you would get one. Like, if you didn't, the only way you could get an out is a strikeout. I need more reps. Yeah, right, right. Get a lot of errors.

Yeah, right. No, like, pop outs. You wouldn't pitch himself out. Right. That's a good hypothetical. I'm going to be, I'm not unrealistic or delusional. I don't think I would.

You're about to Elliot Shore Parks yourself. I don't think I could get a strikeout. But if you go slow enough, like, that actually kind of fucks him up. Yeah. Be fun simulation. Ephus? Throw an Ephus?

Ephus, yeah. Like the kid from... No one can hit the Ephus. Rookie of the Year? Rookie of the Year. What about... That handsome kid. Great movie.

What about for, like... Ian Gordon-Levitt. Yeah. Is that his name? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh, that's someone else? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh, that's someone else, right? There's an Ian Michael Clark.

Ian Michael Clark. There's an Ian... Michael Clark Duncan. Michael Blake. No, is it Joseph Gordon-Levitt? No, Joseph Gordon-Levitt was Third Rock from the Sun, right? Who's the Green Mile guy? Michael...

Michael Clark Duncan. Michael... There's an Ian Michael Clark. He was married to Omarosa. Can we get the answer? Yeah, that's not him. It's Ian Michael Clark. Anthony Michael Clark. He was married to Omarosa. We get the answer. Yeah, that's not him. It's Ian Michael Clark. Anthony Michael Hall.

Ian Michael Smith? Ian Michael? Ian Michael Jotty? That's fucking... Michael Ian Black? Who's Ian Michael Smith? The guy from Rookie of the Year. He throws out a first pitch at Wrigley every year.

Henry Roengar. Michael Ian Clark was on... It's a three-name. Wait, wait, don't tell me. No, it's a three-name. Neil Patrick Harris? No. Oh, he was in the new Matrix movie.

Is there not a Michael Ian Clark, too? Can you look up famous three-name celebrities? There's a blank Michael blank. There's a lot of... Michael Ian Black is what you're thinking of. Fuck this. He was on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. He was funny as fuck on, like, I Love the 90s. I loved Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. He was funny as fuck on like I Love the 90s.

I loved Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Yeah, it was. Where I get my little taste of American liberalism. Tommy Lee Jones. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Sarah- Thomas Ian Nicholas.

What? I just looked it up. I didn't have it, but I knew his three names. Thomas Ian Nicholas. There's a just looked it up. I didn't have it, but I knew his three names. Thomas, Ian, Nicholas. There's a lot of Ian three names. There he is. Thomas, Ian, Nicholas.

People don't remember that he's Syrian. And what do you, three first names? I know you don't trust someone with two first names. Wait, he was in American Pie? I never put that together. Yeah. What character? The main character.

The set, the... He was... Not the main character. Tara Reid's boyfriend. Yeah, Kevin. Yes. Kevin? Tara Reid's boyfriend.

I don't remember that at all. Yeah, he was like the put-together one. Him at all. Kevin Myers. Oh, he's in a bunch of stuff. Yeah, the put-together guy. Wow, what a pull to say Kevin

he was the one who yeah he was like the voice of reason in American Pie right wasn't he that friend yeah definitely but not the like

oh yeah oh wow the cross-gain gay one Oz no not him yeah you had the you had the horny guy

the normal guy the the jock. I got a question. Why has Jeff never asked about this movie on The Dozen? He never has any questions about this. It seems like you just nailed that trivia. You think he fucked an apple pie? He probably did, and he doesn't want anyone to bring it up. He doesn't want anyone to bring up the fact that he fucked an apple pie.

We're fucking it under the rug right now. Jeff D'Lo has fucked an apple pie. I think it's worse than that. Really? A cherry? A tart. A tart? He dated an apple pie.

That's rape, brother. He didn't just fuck one. He had an eight-month relationship with an apple pie. He added another leche to trace leche. Oh, man. Otro leche? That's so much leche. Should we bake something for tomorrow?

Do a bake sale? I love baking. Or we get baked and people pay to... No, that doesn't work. That doesn't work. How much do you think seven friends would pay to come here and they do the yak while we just go to lunch? Wow. They get to buy us lunch. And then they get to buy us lunch.

And then they get to... Buy us dirt bikes. Buy us dirt bikes. Friend group yak for $7,000. I would like a group of like seven rowdy boys. Oh, like 11-year-old boys? That's another pipe dream. Okay.

To get seven-year-olds to host a show. I think that would be so much fun. I think that would be a great funny... If we just had Yak Jr. for a day. Oh, my God. That would be so funny. Seeing seven-year-olds riff would be fascinating. Awesome. Can we figure that out? There's a guy on tiktok who blew up he has a podcast with like

his two-year-old son yeah he's a pedophile we need just straight toddler only toddler you see when they wake up the kids at the little league games how cute that always turns out yes micing up the kids yeah they're always very always very cute. Just like talking about random shit. Seven is the sweet spot, though. At 12, they're too arid. Yeah, we don't want any puberty. Now that could be taken out of context. No puberty.

No, we want prepubescent boys. Only on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think the friend group, seven friends, I think would be a dope thing. I think that people would auction or would pay a decent amount. It doesn't take a lot from us. Now, do they get the whole room or does one person stay back with them? No, no, no, no. They get the whole room.

It's all them. I'm not. I don't want to. They also have to have friends who know how to work production as well. Yeah. They would need to do. They would need to. Stanko's.

Yeah. Oh, what if we auctioned off Stanko cooking a bottomless breakfast for someone? Bottomless brunch? Stanko with no pants on cooking you breakfast. I would do that. We know you do it. You've done it. You get a night in the Hoboken house and he'll cook for you

in the morning. Bottomless. I think women would pay a ton of money for Donnie to come to their bachelorette party and cook them breakfast or something. Chef Don a ton of money for Donnie to like come to their bachelorette party and cook them breakfast or something.

Chef Donnie and Wanton Don? Both of them. Yes. Wanton Don to hang out in their pool but for Chef Donnie to cook for them.

Chef Donnie's videos cooking videos have been awesome recently. He's changed up how he's done them and they're so cool. He's got the formula down. He's hit that like Instagram

like I can't stop watching them. He like built that whole kitchen himself, too. And his buddy, that whole set. I like watching food videos, but most of them are like, I'm out so quickly. Something I would never have the energy or time to do. I'm not grocery shopping. His are simple.

He did one with, I think it was empanadas. Arriba. Oh, I like how you said that. That was empanadas. A rape. Oh. I like how you said that. That was cool how you said that, dude. Pulled it off. You really pronounced the rape in the middle. I did.

Really? I'm on that. What sidewalk solicitors have been multiplying? Yeah. You know, the ones that stop you. With the mango? Those are great with the John Boyle. The charity ones who stop you.

Oh, they'll try and square up with you. Hey, you look like you like dogs. It's the worst. It's the worst legal thing you can do as a human being. Whenever you see a Craigslist ad that says they need rock stars, you're going to be doing that. Like, we need five new rock stars for our company. It's like you're going to have to stop people on the street

and make them uncomfortable. High energy self-starters. Unconventional office. We have fun here. They asked us the other day if we had heard of breast cancer. They're like, have you guys heard of breast cancer? The awareness isn't the issue. We need a cure.

We need a cure. We need that cure. I do like, though, whenever an office is like, yeah, we have a ping pong table. We have a putting green. Yeah, and we have a cake. A loaded snack, yeah. We have a bar here. You have to work 90 hours a week, but we have fun.

Yeah. We got a nap room that you sleep in overnight. Yeah. You take your passport so you can't leave the country. Stephen Jay said on the bracket yesterday that his office used to play Call Me Maybe at 5 p.m. on Fridays. Oh, my God. No, there was one guy who would play it on his speakerphone.

I think that's sweet. It's a great song, but every Friday? It's a timeless song. We were in agreeance that the song is amazing. The song's great, but the fifth Friday that it happens, you're like... You can't be the guy who plays something off his phone.

What happened was he probably played it once and everyone's like, oh, that's incredible. He's like, repeat joke. Because people like Roan would hype him up yeah he secretly wants to watch them fail yeah he wants to watch everyone else tortured he'd be like this is awesome you got to keep doing it maybe actually karaoke next right he sounds so genuine yeah well you'd say it so um yeah such graceful uh eloquent words yeah words yeah exactly you just did it yourself yeah exactly you are worth 300 Such graceful eloquence. Words. Yeah, words. You just did it yourself.

Excess. You are worth $300,000. You never know, dude. You really never know until you bet on yourself and play Call Me Maybe for a year straight. Give it a year and see if people like it then because it'll hit a different stride when you're about 10 months into it. People don't commit to the bits anymore. You've got to commit to the bits. I have one more question for tomorrow.

Because if you are really trying to get, like, let's make money for something cool. Dirt bikes. And we take, like, there's staple pieces in the office that are, like, classically barstool kind of. No one will know. I think we definitely can take them. No one will know. It depends. If it's, like, old barstool.

Like one of the recliners from the Rundown set. Will anyone notice that? Or, like, the big brain brain. Or like Riggs' giant golf ball. Things like that. Will anyone notice? I mean, Riggs noticed when someone took a pin marker at his tournament. He's like, I will find you. I will kill you.

I gotta put my dick in that guy's eye. Maybe if it's been here since HQ2 or before, it's off limits. I'm just saying, thinking selfishly. Don't touch Dave's newspaper box. Nobody would miss that burger. What if we auctioned off

Danny? Security for a night. Yeah, there you go. I think it'd have to be Pat. Danny. The baby blues would be really has to be it really has to be

so disconcerting to just be sitting there minding your own business and zoom in on your face yeah we never really think about it the other way

from the other you know someone else's shoes oh no no no a little bit ago you mentioned like putting your dick in someone's eye

yeah what was that I offered to skull fuck the person yeah who stole the thing from Riggs. A pin marker from Riggs. You broke it down

scientifically. It was the cock and the ocital bone? Orbital bone. I said, bring him to the yak. I will lay him down on this box

and I will put my penis inside of his eyeball. That, I remember one of the Saw films, somebody had to do something similar. And?

Did they also steal a marker? There was a key in his eye, behind his eye, and he had to cut it open, get the key out, in order to survive, or something which clawed his head off. That's fucked up. That is fucked up. I could never watch those. That's really fucked up.

Not my vibe. Yeah, me neither. I don't consume any media like that. No, I'm not a big... I realize I don't like it, but it distracts me from boredom, so I do like it. I'm not a horror movie person at all. All right. Should we end the show and let Roan just...

If you have ideas on the chat for what we can auction off, tweet it at us so that we could get some cool shit for tomorrow. Should we pretend we ended the show and then when Roan comes back be like, yeah, we're done? And then see if he says anything that could ruin his life? Yeah. Ruin his career? I think so.

Yeah. Sure. So when he comes back, let's just... I'll take off my headphones. We'll just, yeah. Oh, the hack is over. Not really. We're going to prank his ass. We're going to prank his goofy ass.

I'm going to be my normal self. Yeah, practice real quick. Dude. Do you guys really give a fuck about this stupid offer? Man, just taking a load off. Yep. Don't care about nothing. This is, yeah.

I'm going to watch a horse race. I got the seven in race three at Saratoga. Oh, Saratoga. Do you think he's taking a shit? Might be. That would suck because that's going to take a long time. It's going tooga. Oh, Saratoga. Do you think he's taking a shit? Might be. That would suck because that's going to take a long time. It's going to take a while. Prank alert.

I like this. Prank alert. Roan does hit me as someone who takes his time in that regard. Everyone, please do tune in to the Whatnot auction tomorrow. It's going to be incredible. Also, subscribe to the Yak. We are so fucking close. I think we're 4,000 away.

96.1. 96.1? It just looks so cool. Everyone, subscribe. We need to get it. I think we're 4,000 away. 96.1. 96.1? It just looks so cool. Everyone subscribe. We need to get it. Third grade journal. I'm going to go home to Long Island tonight and get it. Every thought I had when I was 11.

I'll auction that off. Good show. Good show. Wait, so... So find at least like Did we bring shit in? What? Did we bring our own shit in for these people to auction? Yeah bring your own shit

BYOS Oh man Good question Horse You doing a false ending right now? Huh? Fuck God damn it The guy can't The guy just doesn't doing a false ending right now? Oh, fuck. God damn it.

The guy can't, the guy just doesn't. Fuck. So good. So good. You're the prince. Are you about to get me to start? Fucking good.

Wow. What did you want me to start talking about? You know, your usual religion. Yeah. Minorities. Yeah. Fuck. I get away with that.

He almost got you. You know what gave it away? Everyone. Kyle practiced how to act normal. You know what gave it away? Every single person. Down to Stanko and down to TJ. Stanko's eyes gave it away.

TJ not cutting off. Even the wide shot of the room. Everyoneo's eyes gave it away. TJ not cutting off. Even the wide shot of the room. Everyone's false dialogue gave it away. Dang. Your best moment was Big Cat saying everyone actually bring something in. That was the one shred of plausible acting.

The rest of it was fucking fraudulent. What? I could spot a fucking fake. Stanko, give KB a kill fuck Mary. If you could. Of breakfast egg options. Something I'd really have to discern between fuck and Mary. I hate when they overlap.

Canadian bacon. Okay. Say I want to do a person. You want to do a person? Because I can't conceptualize any of those actions with bacon. Okay. Alexander Daddario,

Margot Robbie, and Nicole Kidman. Perfect. Perfect. Nicole Kidman. Is Kidman like 50? Yeah, yeah. Around that. Nicole Kidman. Kidman like 50. Which. Yeah.

Yeah. Around that. She's dead. Yeah. But she's great marriage material. She's fucking dead. Yeah. Think about like the second act of your life after she dies and bequeaths you her fucking

billions. Yeah. Yeah. I've just acquired such a fantasy for Daddario based on one scene that I would... Wait, are you stealing my one? I would just have to fuck her. Yeah. Are you stealing my one?

You and Stanko have the same one. It would be too fetishized of a relationship. Are you stealing my one? I wouldn't be able to fall for her. Tell me right now, are you stealing my one? I wouldn't fall for her. So I would marry her. You wouldn't fall for her.

Marry Robbie? Marry Robbie. She wouldn't fall for fucking Daddario. All right. You would fucking fall for her. Give him another one, Stanko, with everyone in the same... Because I feel like Nicole Kidman, while a masterstroke of genius by you,

I think it made it too easy for KB to kill her. Isn't she wifed up by Urban? Urban, yeah. I wouldn't do that to her. You fuck with the Urban bros? Keith Urban. Urban Meyer? One of my favorite artists.

Keith Urban. They're both Australian. So good. His music all holds up. Yeah. Great catalog. He wears a cowboy hat, but he has great hair, which is dope. Give him another one, Stanko, where they're all... No one's out

of... Because he's ageist. You know that fucking KB is ageist against the 50 plus. Anya Taylor-Joy. He's Googling? No, Ana de Armas. Oh, that's like sex. Right.

And then I'm going to go a little bit older, but not too old, like J-Lo. Why do you keep going older? J-Lo. You're making it easy for him to kill the third one every time. Kill J-Lo. You know J-Lo. Respectfully, everything you said, Rowan, I am going to just throw a 60-year-old at the end. Yeah.

J-Lo, what's going on? You're going to kill J-Lo? Nah. You saw that halftime show with J-Lo. You can't forget that. I'm killing this Joy, bitch. She's just recently married, too. You're't forget that. I'm killing this joy, bitch. She's just recently married, too. You're going to destroy

the happiness for her? Any of the things would have destroyed the happiness. Someone's getting killed, Stanko. She's the one. And then what's the other two? She looks like she slithers at night. Give a man one. What were the other two? Day Armis is getting

fucked. I don't even know the other two? Day Armis is getting fucked. I don't even know the other options. So you're marrying J-Lo? Oh, dude. You said it. You got to marry J-Lo now. She got twins, bro. Wait, what was that, Stanko? If he married J-Lo, he'd create an enemy in Big Cat.

Yeah, I'd fucking kill you. All right, now give Kate one. Fuck your eye. See that right now? You see the anger I have in my eyes? I know. You told me to stop it. Look at me. Stop it. See that right now? You see the anger I have in my eyes? Stop it. Look at me. Stop it.

Feel that. J-Lo's got more rings in the last 30 years than the cowboy. Hey, yo. I... I... Fuck. Got him.

You got one, Stanko? Stanko, Diana Taurasi, Stevie Nicks, Paula Abdul. Mary Paula Abdul kills Stevie Nicks. What? What? I'm too young for that. Is that fucking Taurasi?

Who you fucking? Taurasi? Who's this guy fucking? Taurasi don't even like dudes. That's all right. She was very funny. The broadcast, she's got jokes. I'd be fine by me.

How are you going to fuck Tarassi with broken ankles? Tarassi fucks less dudes than Tarani. That's a fair point. All right, so give one to Kate. Give a guy one to Kate. Kate. Michael B. Jordan. Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum.

Whoa, that's a tough one. Let's go. Why did you give KB a tough one like that? That is a really tough one. I'm killing Ryan Gosling. Really? He always seems flimsy to me. Physically? Or wishy-washy?

He's kind of a wishy-washy. I heard he's kind of a diva. Not enough man for you? Not enough man for me. That being said, fucking Michael B. Jordan. Okay. And then I'm going to marry Channing Tatum.

He seems like a wholesome fun guy. That's a good pick. He seems like a good guy. That was a good one, yeah. Friends with Ben Mintz. Billy partied in Channing Tatum's apartment. Really? Yeah, that's right.

No, because then we asked for him to clarify. He's like, well, no, Channing Tatum once lived in that apartment building. 800 unit building. That's not the same thing. Damn, that's fucking sweet. Good questions, Thanko. Great jobs, Thanko.

So what are the final things that we're auctioning off tomorrow? What are the non-fungible things that we're auctioning off other than the things we're going to bring in like paintings and stuff in a pile

and KB's tiny beanbag chair? Somebody said maybe a wheel slice? It's still big. Oh, that's a great one. What would it be, though? Whatever that person... They decide? That's a great idea.

Oh, my God. That's genius. That doesn't happen right away. It just goes on the wheel. Yeah, and they have to decide the punishment. Wow. That's great. Booze also tweeted that he would auction his glasses from today off.

I'm going to buy those. Legend. Yep, I'll buy those Wheel Slice Private Show Friends with Benemates Yes You just get to fuck Benemates You have to fall in love with him gradually

Moving to New York Starting a job as an editorial designer at GQ. So I got Wheel Slice, private show, tape of the private show, date with KB, and seven friends get to sit down on this here and do their own show. $1,000. I like seven friends. They have to keep going, and there's a small audience. You can't leave until you make somebody laugh.

I like that. Is that a different one than just Seven Friends? Seven Friends, no challenge? Yeah, that's a gauntlet. Okay, Seven Friends, and then Seven Friends gauntlet. An auction of tweets? It gets dicey. It does get it gets dicey it does get a little dicey

Donnie cooking for bachelorette party or something if I was Lady Yakker of which there are many by the way hit me up in the DMs I would do that one I feel like that would be a fun

not to sound weird I would do that one. I feel like that would be a fun... Not to sound weird. Yeah, no. I would do that one. Yeah, for sure. I wouldn't bid on it. Like Donnie cooking for you would be great, I feel like. I feel like after Rachel Ray, I feel like women cooking shows and stuff like that

has been disproportionately low compared to the dudes that have cooking shows. Dudes are just dominating cooking shows. I know. It's like we don't even have a woman chef to objectify the way that you're objectifying Donnie. No, it's sad. We don't even have one.

Who's the most famous? Gianna. Gianna. Who's the one that everybody was super into though for a while? Rachel Ray. Oh, Rachel Ray. Gianna. Rachel Ray people were really into.

Gianna. Gianna. Gianna Day. Laurentis. Laurentis. Laurentis. Yeah. She always had fun vinaigrettes. That is.

You know what though? When I watch a chef's video, like I just want their kitchen. Their kitchens are always so nice. I know. White tiles and just. Nice back splashes. Yeah. And just like big appliances, like double sinks.

Yes, dude. You can piss in both of them. Yes, dude. So my comfort activity is just looking on Zillow at big houses. Kitchens, yeah. Yeah, that's how I found Josh DM's house. That rich bastard. All right, so we have a nice grip of things that we can...

We can also just do, like, merch signed or coin... Coin certificate signed. Fuck that. The signed helmets of Brandon's I do like. Yeah. Because people could maybe, like, get their team that they want. They could fish their wish. Or maybe we could make Nick...

Or just get a helmet from, yeah, Brandon's shelf. Make Nick do something? Like, make Nick come up with something? Hey, wait. What if we got a claw machine, and we put all Brandon's shit in it, and people paid 20 bucks or 30 bucks or whatever for a go at the claw machine?

Mystery box? Ooh. You get to pick who here runs it and tries to get something of Brandon's. We should buy a claw machine. A claw machine would be great. Getting a claw machine, maybe that's part of the Slush Fund?

Slush Fund claw machine game. Yeah. Is there a virtual claw machine that you can play, you can control it, and it does it for real? There's scams, but yes. It's like an online arcade, and if you win on the online arcade, they send you a prize. Yeah, I want to buy an actual claw machine. I think maybe we should have our studio be an arcade. You know what we should do?

We could have Skee-Ball as well. I love Skee-Ball so much. A little twist on Russian roulette. It's a claw machine with guns and some of them are loaded and some of them aren't. You gotta shoot yourself as soon as you pick the thing. Yup. Whoa. That would be fun.

The show rules. Our arcade. And just because it's ours. Okay. We have the coolers. People sign those. I don't know TJ you're thinking Inside the box Yeah

That's not you I'm trying to give us A good base of ideas I know We have I got ten things Written down I got ten things

Right here And then plus We're all gonna be Bringing in stuff People love mystery boxes though So like a yak cooler Stuffed with mystery items Oh I like that

Would be big What about if we all What if we auctioned off Everyone had to give The person one idea? Or like an idea of the month club that they get. And we give them ideas.

An idea of the month club would be incredible. You just get one idea every month from us. I think that that's, and we talk about it on the show, I mean, that's a good fucking buy, idea of the month club for a year subscription. We should actually have that on the wheel, just Idea Day. If we hit it the next day, everyone has to come with one idea.

Harder than you think. I have a notes app of inventions. It's very hard. All right, so put that on the wheel. We're not going to auction it now? I want that for the show. I know, but I'm saying we should talk about it once a month on the show. Oh, okay.

You're right. You're right. I don't hate it on the okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I don't hate it on the wheel. No, you're right. We should have an idea of the month. If we don't make $1,000 off of it, it's off the board, and then we'll just do it as part of the show. Idea of the month episode.

Maybe the idea of auctions, just buy it now. It's just a 5K flat. Oh, yeah, buy it now? Mm-hmm. That could be dope. 5K. I don't know. I have now? Mm-hmm. That could be dope. 5K. I don't know. I have no idea how much people are going to be bidding.

I don't know. I'm assuming that everything's going to be thousands of dollars. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that's taking out the charity aspect, too. Yeah, yeah. Fuck that, dude. I think that might help us.

I think that might help us. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. People have grown weary of the PPP loans that were given out to already flourishing bars. I'm just kidding. All right. I guess we'll see everyone tomorrow. This is a great show. Yeah.

D of the month. Dirt bikes. Dirt bikes. Morning. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.

Tweet me if you have any ideas. See you tomorrow. Click that link in the chat for $10 free.