The Yak - Brandon's Next Up to Get Stuck in a Vase | The Yak 1-8-23

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello. Welcome. It's the Yak. Oh, I did it again with the ankle socks. I thought you bailed out of that. I bought... Go to roback.com, roback.com.

Use code Yak, 20% off your first order. Q-zips, polos, joggers, shorts, fleeces, vests, everything. Rowback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use promo code YAK, 20% off your first order. When I came in that first day, we came back, and I was like, I got a new look. I had forgotten that preceding the new look, I bought 60 pairs of these. It's not a good look. You're fully committed to ankle sock?

Before I even tested it out. It looks worse with the all black outfit. It stands out more. We got to get you like a butterfly tat. Yeah. Yeah. Right on the outside. Oh, we got a big merch day.

We got big merch plans coming up. What is this? We got to. Something I got to do. We'll do it later in the show. But Dave texted me and Brandon today and said, Hey, I just sent a bunch of Michigan gear to you guys in case Michigan wins. Brandon, I'm going to need you to make a bunch of videos promoting it.

Michigan's going to win, right? Yes. Probably. So I figured it'd be fun to – it sucks for Brandon, but if we made it fun and we just brainstormed some ideas for him, we could make some fun videos. I think that's a good idea. Now keep in mind, hundreds of people work at this company. Hundreds of people are employed here.

That's true. Hundreds of people are employed at this company. And I am the one who has been drafted to do this particular job. Well, you're a Michigan hater. Yeah, you're like the one guy, especially on this show, that would have reason to really, really hate Michigan. Right. There's like a natural rivalry between you and Michigan.

Reputationally ruined if you were wearing blue and gold. Yeah, there's like nobody else who Dave could make do this and get joy out of, so unfortunately it's going to have to be you. You don't even say the M word. What? M. who Dave could make do this and get joy out of. So unfortunately it's going to have to be you. You don't even say the M word. What? M. Yeah, no, I said M.

It's an M word, yes. No, quick to correct. Now wait a second. Yes, I do. But yeah, we'll do that. All right. It'll be fun. Yeah, what kind of videos?

What are the trends of the videos? Let me read the text. Yeah. It'll be fun. Yeah, what kind of videos? What are the trends of the videos? Let me read the text. Yeah. It made me chuckle. Yeah, and there was really no reason for him to put you and I on the same. I think he just wanted to make sure that the job got done. These are delivering to Chicago today. They didn't get me most of it.

Since I can't make videos wearing it, can Brandon please make a quick video for each item? If Michigan wins the second minutes and hours after the game is when we do most of the selling, send the videos to me. And then he says. What about my responses? Go ahead. Well, you just said, but Dave, if Michigan wins,

won't Brandon just talk about them cheating? Dan, he signed a blood oath, so he can't. I forgot about that. And then I said, get minced to do it and nobody replied and there we are and here we are just get really erotic about it oh yeah erotic yeah drop like a three minute making out with your wife video in michigan i gotta go i got an idea already see the brain's already flowing that would go viral as hell i love that just you making out with your wife uninterrupted or interrupted for like breath breaks no no like it's when you

interrupt where you like press four heads and just exhale on each other and then get right back to it yeah you gotta do this man no i don't have to do that yeah yeah awesome idea um you gotta do it's a great idea uh here's another idea let'sky Business, and it's just you sliding across the floor in every new shirt, but you have no pants on. That would be great. Great idea. That's a great idea. Yeah, why don't we recreate our favorite movie scene?

Yeah. All right. Whatever. What's your favorite movie, Nick? The Passion of the Christ, Dan. Okay. I was going to go with- Is there going to be with crucified in the shirt listen

man i'm gonna go with django unchanged ah never saw it tropic thunder yeah yeah tj tropic thunder okay so the risky business one would be good you sliding out on the floor yeah but i'm wearing loose loose flat boxers i think my dick would flop out. But if you hike up the boxers and you let the shirt go past it, it would look very funny. Brandon the Pooh. Yeah, Brandon the Pooh. Was Tigger a Pooh as well? Nope.

No, he was not. Who else was a Pooh amongst the cast? Only Winnie was a Pooh. What is... We discussed what is a poo? A poo, I think, was... It was an old word for a goose. Yeah, it was an old word for a goose. Yeah.

But then they turned... So Winnie the poo is the only poo in the universe. He's the only poo. Well, a poo. He's the poo. That guy with the orange and black stripes, is he poo? But Attila wasn't the only hun. Attila wasn't the only hun. Attila wasn't the only hun.

There were multiple huns? Yeah. The hun. Yeah, they were all huns. Really? They were like the hun people, right? Oh. So he was just, it was a, Attila is just an adjective for the hun.

Attila is his first name. Right. The hun is what he was. Got it. But Winnie is the only poo. Or maybe he, hmm. Are you sure about that Winnie is the only poo. Are you sure about that? He's the only poo in that forest. But there's got to be other poos.

How did he become a poo? You can't just... You could give yourself the name. Fuck it, I'm a poo. Yeah, Nicky the Poo. I'm Nicky the Poo. Something made him. Two poos had to get together and have sex. No, I think he's a stuffed animal.

Okay, Winnie the Poo merely offers his explanation of why But something made him. Two poos had to get together and have sex. No, I think he's a stuffed animal. Okay. Winnie the Pooh merely offers his explanation of why Winnie the Pooh is often simply called Pooh. But his arms are so stiff, they sit up straight in the air for more than a week. And whenever a fly came and settled on his nose, he had to blow it off. And I think, but I'm not sure, that is why he is always called Pooh. That was so much more confusing. Oh, no, that's why he's a Pooh. So if you ever, so wait, was John McCain a Pooh?

John McCain, you have to be a prisoner. No, you can't use your arms. You have to be really, really stiff. If you can't use your arms, you're a Pooh, right? Yeah, people that can't use arms. Stephen Hawking the Pooh. Stephen Hawking the Pooh. Stephen Hawking the Pooh.

That makes so much sense. Because it's the only way you can get a fly off of you is by saying poo. Poo. Poo. Poo. All right. Who are some other? Okay.

So there's more poos. There's more poos. Poo. Poo. Mm-hmm. Who else? Jersey Jerry, if he had stayed in the simulator long enough, he would have become a poo. He would have been Jerry the poo.

Jerry the poo. A doctor coming out and telling you you're going to be a poo. Yeah. It doesn't look good. Nothing we can do. You don't feel that on your palm? Uh-oh. Touch my hand.

You can't lift your arm. Sir, I'm afraid you're a poo. Puts a little speck on your nose. Now, please blow it off. Yep. We've put all the conclusive testing. You're a poo. Do you think they do when they take him in the blue tent in the NFL?

I know they do a poo test. Poo protocol. Tamar Hammond, temporary poo. And nurses have to wipe the butts of poos. Wow. True. Stiff ass arms

that would be my favorite conversation this is as simple as tigger poo out poo doubtful to return yeah if you get a stinger you could probably have a temporary poo Brock Purdy was a poo

oh yes half a poo. Oh, yes. Championship. Yes. Well, he was half a poo. Half a poo. Glorified poo, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was cosplaying as a poo. Yeah. Because he could use his other arm if anything got on his nose.

Yeah. Other poos. Yeah, TJ, search fully paralyzed people. Was FDR a first poo president? Yes. But he would not have been elected. No, it was just legs. Yeah. His arms fell him at the end? Was FDR our first poo president? Yes. But he would not have been elected. No, it was just legs. His arms fail him at the end?

No, right, but it has to be arms that fail you, right? Yeah, that's true. It'd be a leg poo. Bob Dole almost became our first poo president. His arms were kind of fucked. I don't think he could raise his arms either. Okay, so him and McCain. Yeah.

I doubt we're not at a point in this country where we can have a poo president poo president or women president i'll take a poo 10 times out of 10 that's that that is that that was fun a lot of fun there was fun who else is in the poo universe besides eeyore and tigger uh the kangaroo. Piglet. Oh, here we go. Piglet, yeah. Famous poos. Okay, yeah. Roy Campanella. Poo Shysty.

Yeah, but I think he stole that. He stole that from Winnie. Yeah, he should actually change that. Teddy Pendergrass was a poo? I didn't know that either. Teddy Pendergrass? Yeah, I actually don't know. R&B singer.

Oh, okay. I wrestled Tyler Pendergast. Pendergast? I actually don't know R&B singer Oh okay I wrestled Tyler Pendergast Pendergast I don't think they're related Yeah It's like Yeah probably not Wait so who else

Is in the Pooh universe Besides those two There's a kangaroo Christopher Reeve There's two kangaroos No Christopher Robin Oh in that universe Yeah yeah

Pooh universe Oh yeah I already said Christopher Reeve Superman's a Pooh He's a Pooh Not in the Winnie He's not in the Hundred acre woods Or is it thousand acre He had adult onset What's the amount of land What do they call a kangaroo Was it Roo Roo Universal... Oh, yeah, I already said Chris Reeves. He's a poo, not in the Winnie. He's not in the 100-acre woods.

Or is it 1,000 acres? He had adult onset. What do they call a kangaroo? Was it Roo? Roo. Piglet. Piglet. Was there a second piglet?

Eeyore. Eeyore. Eeyore. Here we go. Owl. Rabbit. Rabbit and owl. Why did rabbit and owl got screwed?

Yeah, what? Kanga and Roo. I don't remember Kanga. I remember Roo. Christopher Robin? Yeah. Yeah. That was the boy Boy

Fuck with him Christopher Robin That's you Yeah Yeah That's representation matters I need that Just a

Just a ginger boy Sitting in the woods Talking to Fake animals Yep A lot of my child He has no friends What do you

What do you mean fake animals Were they real? I thought Winnie was, was he stuffed? Or am I confused? This is Calvin Hopkins. Wait, were they imaginary animals? There's a long conspiracy that the entire thing is like a bad drug trip

by Christopher Robin in that each character represents like a different stage of the trip. Oh, shit. Like Eeyore's depression. But never let a ginger smoke weed. Yeah. Is the underlying theme. Keep gingers off weed. Chase smirking.

I, okay. Oh, look at the pose. We've delayed it long enough. He's smirking. I might fight Che today. I'm not smirking. That was a disgusted drug reference. I might fight Che today. Why? Yeah, heking. That was a disgusted reference. I might fight Che today.

Why? Yeah, he's due to be hot. He's bothering me. We should start with the tweet. One of the worst tweets. Oh, the dog tweet. From the man who brought you J.J. Watt as a school teacher. Yeah.

The follow-up. The dog tweet. This one. I don't know what headspace you were in when you did this i saw i sourced the room so this is my dog anytime he sees the couch now i thought dogs humped the couch important note steven che does not own a dog and has never owned a dog which he cleared up because we all were so confused um steven dot it's like almost like you kind of understand how the internet works like video funny caption but then it just all falls

apart yeah it's close well not it was it was close it was with with better wording that would have done it over now that you had time to think about it what would you yeah redo it with better wording well the wording the i sourced the room that had dog owners and i said what do dogs hump a lot i'm with you that it looks sexual and it looks like humping is ensuing yes so the i was thinking like the i don't know what you call it like the arm the end of a couch like i think that's what dogs hump but then the the feedback i got was couch cushions. Who do you know that has a dog closest to you? Malisak.

All right, then say, like, Jake Malisak's dog when he sees the end of a cushion. Yeah. Why would I say it? Well, it's more fun. He wants it to be relatable. I want it to be, like, a relatable thing. Right, but you never owned a dog. So?

You can fake it. I guess, but it was very clear that you never owned a dog. Well, yeah, I mean, it didn't hit. But then when I, my first reaction was couch, and then when PFT came in, one of the first things he said was couch, so I was like, all right, I'm going to go with couch. I was thinking about, like, any time I saw, like, a stranger's leg. Yeah, I was out of the room for this. I came back just to see it.

You were. You were out of the room for it. Yeah. There were a team of writers that came in. Yeah. Yeah. He pulled a team of writers that came in. Yeah. You pulled many dog owners to get to this. Yeah, so I was betrayed.

You were betrayed. But I mean, hey, doing numbies. I think you should just consistently go with substitute teacher or your teacher when you ask, can I use the restroom? And they say, I don't know, can you? Like, you should have tweeted that with that clip. You should have been like, this is my teacher when you ask can i use the restroom and they say i don't know can you like you should have tweeted that with that clip you should have been like over and over this is my teacher when i asked can i use the restroom and he says i don't know can you found it two football players humping each other yeah that would it wouldn't make sense but it would at least like be you know on a linear path yeah yeah. Or like the teacher you had a crush on. We're all in on the joke at least. Yeah, I didn't...

It's a... Just go teacher humor. Okay. You should be the teacher humor guy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I can work on that.

Try like every funny clip or for the next like three funny clips you see, just try to tweet something like that. Yeah, like about a teacher and just see how it goes. Why don't you do it right now? Why don't we see... Let's do it right now. Let's do it right now with the

Bass Pro Shop guy. Yes. Are you aware? Are you familiar? I haven't seen the full... I've seen him swimming. Is it a long clip? It's a not long clip. So what would you use? So tweet that video and then let's brainstorm how it could relate to a teacher.

Well, there's ways. When you're pumped for Chicken Popper Thursday. Yeah, when your teacher... It came out that he was hard. I just got that leak.

You never wanted to have to come out that you were hard people should just know that's what I'm saying I went to the dick leak thread they're like this guy's actually oh we know him he was actually hard that would be a nightmare if you had a nude come out

and then it later came out that you were hard update to the story. We made an edit to the story. He actually was hard. He drops a notes app. I'm actually rock hard. Alright, what's a teacher, what's a relatable thing that happens in schools?

Yeah, when a teacher When the teacher says the bell doesn't dismiss you I do yeah that's good when the teacher rolls in the TV yeah you know it's going to be a good

day when they roll this in that feeling when a teacher rolls in the car or you could just go like very literal Like when a teacher calls on you to read But you're inside of a bath Bathroom shop tank With your tiny penis showing

Your hard copy Come on Steven You got this Thinking gym class changing Okay okay That's a small dick time Yeah yeah Come on, Steven. You got this. I'm thinking gym class, changing. Okay. Okay. That's a small dick time.

Yeah. Yeah. Could be. Okay. Again, I feel like we're trying to relate to the image. Yeah, the closer you get to making it make sense, the worse it is. Just fire from whatever you got. Yeah. You got to be dickless in the Bass Pro Shop pool if you think I'm doing my homework.

Don't tell us. Don't tell us. Just fire, Steve. Just fire. All right. Give me two minutes. I need to workshop this. Okay, yeah, really workshop it.

I don't know what he's doing. Steven, why didn't you finish your homework? Sorry, I was dickless in the Bass Pro Shop. Where was that, by the way? Alabama. Alabama, yeah. Oh, it wasn't the one in Memphis? They just have pools in fucking Bass Pro Shop now?

Yeah, no. Oh, yeah. Bass? Yeah, there's one in Gurney about 20 to 30 miles up the road. Oh, shit. Oh, they're great. You sit and watch the bass swim? Yeah.

Oh, they actually, there was fish in there? Yeah, it's Bass Pro Shots. They're huge. I've never been in a Bass Pro Shot. You got one in Memphis? We got to get you to a Bass Pro Shot. I would love to. The big pyramid in Memphis?

I've seen it on Twitter, but I didn't think it was like a real place. I like to just go sit and look at the fish. There's usually not a dickless man in there. A wrecked man. A wrecked man. The hardest aroused man like there's never a right time but now would be the time for me to have a dick leak yeah yeah yeah that you wait like for a dickless man to come out and then that and then you drop them all yeah the worst part for him

was he had he got handcuffed naked he's in a clothing store. They couldn't just give him a pair of shorts? Oh, that's right. There's clothes all around him. And then he just was standing there all hard. Clothes, blankets? He was hard. Yeah, he was just fucking throbbing. His throbbing cock.

The shot of him. His pulsating cock. I know we can't do it here, but the shot of him in handcuffs is worse than the shot of him in the pool. Can you blur it and show it? The one of him laying down. I haven't seen him laying down. Oh, yeah. I never saw any of these.

I just saw the pool. Oh, no. The picture was way worse. I mean, getting handcuffed naked has to be a top, like, ten worst experiences in your life. Oh, yeah. Dude, but the pool picture, I didn't think he had a dick. Yeah, no. There's no bump. There's nothing there pool picture, I didn't think he had a dick. Hmm. Yeah, no. There's no bump. There's nothing there. And he was hard.

And he was rock hard. Is it possible that it got blurred out? No. Are we sure? Because that was my first thought. In multiple pictures? Multiple videos? No, because we saw his, we saw it in the picture where he got handcuffed. Oh, I haven't seen the picture. You see the penis? Yes. You have to zoom in and get your glasses on, but you do see the penis.

What a video that was. That was one of those, like, fuck yes, the internet. I know, like, there's always ways to get laid after something. Oh, no! He looks like a newborn. Do you think there's anybody out there that's like I want to have sex with this guy now Yes

There's definitely women that love tiny penises I know I mean he's a rock star That's too big of a blur That's way too big of a blur Yeah That picture you can see all of it Oh it is blurred

But seriously he's standing next to clothes Why the fuck didn't they let him just put on something? Like, goddamn. So one place, you got an extra pair of shorts? Just let the guy put on something. It's one identifier, though. You put pants on him. We don't know if it's true.

You got the right guy. As soon as he puts pants on him, they're just like, where'd that dickless guy go? You think that's the reason he did this stunt in the first place? I think he might not. I think he has some mental issues is what they were saying. Oh, God. Oh, man. Yeah, that hurt.

Don't. Good call. Yeah, that hurt. That water looks refreshing. That's a nice. Standing over him with a taser pointed at him. Oh, man. Oh.

Oh, shit. Yeah, he does have the taser at him. Do you think that's that guy's rock bottom? A boy, if it's not. That's got to be. I don't think so. Oh, now he's flopping like a fish. Much like a fish.

This other cop's not doing anything. I think this is the rock bottom caught on tape, but I would imagine he's head. not doing anything. I think this is the rock bottom caught on tape, but I would imagine he's... He's head. Oh, no. He's flipping. Slippery as fuck. Big Cat, can you send me and Kyle down there this week

to go investigate? Yeah, please. I'll get naked in there and just see what it does to the penis. Yeah, we should put it on the wheel. It might just be the fountain of youth, and it reverted him back to infant. It's like the Bermuda Triangle. It's like jerking off with anti-aging.

I did it when I was four. Let him stay long enough, and he'll be turning into a baby. A rock-hard baby. There's a baby in there. They just didn't let him go under. That poor guy. So you got it, Steven? You did it?

Tweeted it? It's too wordy. I got to cut it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do you got? Do it. Do it. Send tweet.

Send tweet. Hold on. No. I have the idea. I'm cutting it down. No, don't cut it down. Tell us, hold on. No, no, no. I have the idea. I'm cutting it down. No, don't cut it down. Tell us what it is. Don't cut it down.

Elon gave you 360 characters for a reason. Is that how many it is? I think so. All right, hold on. I hate when people do the long, long tweets. People are writing essays. Oh, my God. And people are, they have an audience.

It's crazy. Mark Cuban loves it. He used to do paragraphs on Twitter. The minute I hit the click, read more, and if it's like multiple paragraphs, out right away. I don't know, a thread of him doing a substitute teacher joke would be funny. Yeah. Substitute

teacher joke of the day. Every tweet has to have a thousand characters or more. So it just goes on and on. Send it, Che. Send it. Come on. Doesn't make sense it just goes on and on. Send it, Che. Send it. Come on. Doesn't make sense. No, no, no.

Send it, Che. Three, two, one, send. Hold on. No, no, no. Come on. Zah, take that phone. I think it actually makes me sound gay. Wait a minute.

Send it, Che. Send it, Che. Send it. Hey, send it. Hey, come on, dude. Send it. Send it. Come on, dude. Send it. Send it.

Fine, fine, fine. Yes. For the record, not good. No, no, no. But I'm already typing pause. All right, it's out. TJ, let's see it. I want to see this tweet in all its glory. I'm waiting to see TJ'sj's version not proud of it this man's package looking like he just heard his gym teacher say the word vulva

you don't like the word vulva that's uh Yes. What? Shay. You don't like the word vulva? It's a boner shriveling moment. Yeah, talking about pussy. Oh, my God, Shay. Whoa, buddy. Wait, this makes me sound gay. Yeah, I don't know how that made you sound gay. I didn't realize until I was about to send it.

I think you've had gayer tweets. Way gayer tweets. Honestly, probably. Oh, you're getting paused to death. Is he getting paused to death? Oh, like a stampede. Oh, no. Jay's stuck in a traffic light right now.

Pause. This makes you sound gay. All right, so, Steven, the other thing I had to talk to you about, now the regular season is over, can we look over the data? I think it's time. Do you know your figures your percentages i believe i had eight out of 14 playoff teams how the packers making the playoffs three teams in the afc north this isn't a video you can just yeah

okay so go ahead tell us let's just go through. Let's just see how the data went. All right. So this was the one that I was arguing with earlier today. About what? That's bad. Right. He took a victory lap, though, in November. I did. I was saying Che was right because the Bills took a step back. The Bills got the two seed.

Exactly what they got last year. Fewer wins than last year. One fewer win, the two seed, and they probably will win a playoff game, so they did not take a step back. What are they, nine and a half point favorites? Ten point favorites? Ten. Okay. So you were wrong. So you took a victory lap, though. I mean, you

have a future on the Bills. I mean, I took your recommendation. I got in on the Bills, too. A small amount, but we don't think the Bills are going to win the Super Bowl, honestly. They could. Your argument was they were going to take a step back. They won the AFC East and got the 2C.

You're a Josh Allen guy, I know. Everyone feels worse about Josh Allen this year than last year. Is that fair to say? No, I think it's the same Josh Allen. It's chaotic fun. It's chaos. Does anyone feel better on Josh Allen this year than last year? I don't know how that is relevant. I feel the same about the Bills this year going into the playoffs as I did last year.

The two seed, their lows are as lows could be, their highs as highs could be. They're a chaotic team. They could beat anybody. They're also hot. Yeah. They are hot. They're not a one-man team either. Right.

They don't need Josh Allen. They've won games where Josh Allen had. They did last night. Yeah, he wasn't. He had a C-plus game last night? Yeah. So you are standing by the fact they took a step back, even though they had the two Cs.

As a guy who would like to see Buffalo win just for the story of it. You're not answering the question. I think they took a step back earlier in the season, but they fixed it. Right. But this is a full season argument. And Che did a Che was right. Too early. Well, fewer wins than last year.

What about the Dolphins? You said they go 9-8. Yep. Pat's pretty off. Yeah, I don't think this was a great division for you. Nope. The best quarterback in the division got hurt week one. Okay, injuries are going to happen the day.

They should have seen it. Yeah. And also, you took a victory lap two months after the best quarterback got hurt, or your best quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, got hurt. So you already had taken a victory lap. You can't then be like, oh, well, the best quarterback got hurt. You took the victory lap after he had gotten hurt. After Aaron Rodgers got hurt, yes. Yes. Correct. So you can't then be like, well, no, quarterback got hurt. Like you took the victory lap after he had gotten hurt. After Aaron Rodgers got hurt, yes.

Yes. So you can't then be like, well, no, he got hurt. All right. Yep. That's fair. That's fair. Okay. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Quarterback got hurt. I'm going to say that's a pretty good division, though. Yeah, that wasn't bad. They all got winning records. They all had winning records. All right. That was good. One for two. Goodback got hurt. I'm going to say that's a pretty good division, though. Yeah, that wasn't bad. They all got winning records. They all had winning records.

All right. That was good. You're one for two. Good division. Ouch. Ooh, yeah. Not great. Not great.

No. I would say this. Titans on the nose. Oh, Jesus. The Texans are on the goddamn. This is the problem with him. This is the issue. He only sees positives.

He can never see a negative. The winning. I was a year late on the Texas. I had the Texas winning division two years ago. Tough. Okay. Jags missed the playoffs. Yeah.

What a collapse. And you missed on Stroud. Big time. Well, I said Stroud was going to be pretty good. Someone tweeted that clip of me. Said Stroud was the best quarterback in that draft. Okay. Someone tweeted that clip of me. Said Stroud was the best quarterback in that draft. Okay. Okay.

Someone tweeted that clip of you? Okay, this one's fine, even though the Chargers were terrible. Yep, fair. Okay. Chargers not great. I was in on the Commanders. Yikes. Yikes.

Pretty bad. Yikes. That's a brutal one. Chase, silver lining? Got two of the three playoff teams right? Yep. Okay. There we go.

Can't keep them down. Packers in the playoffs. Look at that. The Lions won the division. They had 12 wins. Yeah. I could have been higher than the Lions. Okay. Vikings that I higher on the lines. Hey?

Vikings that I got on the nose? The Lions won the North with 12 wins. Nobody had the Packers in the playoffs. What? That's just not true. I'm sure we could find them. That's because nobody else does this, though. Yeah.

So nobody had anybody in the playoffs because nobody does. The data. All the data. Keep going. Is this altered data, by the way? Did he go back and correct the missing games? Good question. I don't think so.

I think these are all mistaken. This is the PowerPoint, so I wouldn't have – no, I think Quake's put this one together. This division's fine. I mean, it's a mess. Yeah, he got it wrong. It's a shitty division, it's a mess. Yeah, he got it wrong. It's a shitty division, but he's close. Yeah, he got every part of it wrong, but sure. Literally every part.

Well, he's got Panthers in last. That's correct. Yeah, but they won two games. Saints and the Falcons both won eight and nine. Is that correct? No, Falcons won seven. Okay. Saints went nine and eight.

If you want my flowers, you need one division where you get one, two, three, and four. The ranking's all right, and the playoff's all right. All right. Yeah. Let's see. Do you have one? I'm sure that's coming. That's definitely coming.

Yeah. Right here? No. No. No. Off on the Rams. Very off on the Rams. Very off on the Rams.

I mean, everybody was off on the Rams. Well, no, you can't do that you're it's true though everybody was off on the Rams thank you Brandon shut up okay no we don't need to see the playoffs well oh oh well okay so um two seed AFC quarterback hurt three seed AFC quarterback hurt well Justin seed AFC quarterback hurt. Well, Justin Herbert hurt. Why is he doing the voice again? Yeah, why do you snap into the voice? Your Super Bowl is Jets-Eagles, and your conference championship is Chargers-Jets.

Wow. Not my finest. Wow. Yikes. Ravens' first round loss to the Jets. Wow. I was in on Aaron Rodgers. I drank the Kool-Aid. Yikes Ravens first round loss to the Jets Wow I was in on Aaron Rodgers I drank the Kool-Aid

Wow Tough What were the stakes where if the Jets won What happened remind me I would get the title VP of football operations back That's right And so you smirked at me today and you said you have a new title Yeah I mean we don't need to really talk about titles That's right. And so you've then, you smirked at me today and you said you have a new title.

Yeah, I mean, we don't need to really talk about titles, but yes. Well, I feel like we might. Professional title? What is this about? Do you have a new title? Technically, yeah. But I mean. What is it?

So actually, if you guys will refer to your emails, on November 9th... I won't. Oh my god. On November 9th, I sent a... We've sent a couple follow-ups since. Chicago HQ parking mandate, please read. And I created an apartment. It's myself and Paige. It's the fiscal oversight of the balancing automobile lot locations department.

And I've been promoted to VP of operations. God damn it. Well, I'm going to take that away from you right now. Shouldn't, shouldn't, isn't that actually Paige? Why can't I? No, Paige is the president of operations. Right, so why can't I? This isn't your department.

But Paige, Paige reports to me, so I will tell Paige to please do a reorganization and demote you. What was the acronym again? Fiscal Oversight of the Balancing Automobile Lot Locations, which is actually very accurate. I was in charge of all the parking lot locations. Wait, say it again. Fiscal Oversight. F-O-O-T. The second, the of was an O?

Correct. Why do you have a D at the end? Just to make everybody know this was a new department. Let's go letter by letter. What is the acronym? Fiscal. Okay. Fiscal. Oversight. Uh-huh. Of. The. Balancing. Why balancing?

Because we only have 25 spaces. We need to balance who gets parking spots, who doesn't. Okay. Balancing. Why balancing? Because we only have 25 spaces. We need to balance who gets parking spots, who doesn't. Okay. Automobile. So we're at footba. Lot. Locations. And there's a D on the end?

Yes, department. Just department. So it's not footba. It's footballed. Of the balancing automobile lot locations department. Footballed. Footballed. Yeah, I told you it's the new department.

You're the VP of Footballed. He's a fiscal oversight. Do you know what fiscal means? Do you know what balancing means? Fiscal is Texas. Fiscal is Texas. Money. There's no money involved.

You're literally just overseeing people who don't have hair on their feet. You're the footballed. Yeah. Footballed. Yeah, you're footballed. You're footballed. So everyone in the office who doesn't have hair on their feet answers to you?

I thought Harry was over there. He has to shave everybody's toes. Yeah, you do have to shave everyone's toes. That's not handled by our department. Yes, it is. to shave everyone's toes. That's not handled by our department. Yes, it is. It's a football. No, it's the... I hate it so much.

Yeah. So VP of football operations with a lot of periods in between. Yeah. I kind of want to fight him today. But he's not budging. You got to swap out fiscal with something that makes sense. Yeah, fiscal doesn't make any sense there. I'll certainly bring it up the chain of the department.

Foreign, female. Foreign works. Foreign. Yeah, fiscal doesn't make any sense there. I'll certainly bring it up the chain. Foreign, female. Foreign works. Foreign. We should do a foreign club. A foreign club. Stephen, Saw. We're here. That's it. Foreign club.

The gang's all here. Emphasis on gang. Oh, man. Yeah, I don't like Stephen. He's losing me more money, too. And then the Bucs are playing the Eagles, right? Yeah. That's pretty good.

It's going to be quite something. Terrible. You'll be there. Can the Bucs win? Dude, the Eagle, I've lost all hope. We are a dumpster fire of a team right now. You'll be there. Can the Bucs win? Dude, the Eagle, I've lost all hope. We are a dumpster fire of a team right now. And if Chet, like, it's going to be a bad day. This is, you're fighting for all of Philadelphia because he wants Jalen Hurts hurt.

I know. Oh, yeah. I'm taking that in context. Wait, Brandon, say what you just found. No, no, no, no. I'm not. God damn it, Nick. I was doing it.

I'm investigating something right now. Okay. Y'all continue. You want me to say it? Yeah. Yeah. The kid that got stuck in the vase

went to Mississippi State. Oh! I wanted to bring up that story. That was an all-time video we got to watch. Is it not the aquarium? No, it's another guy.

No. Got stuck in a... Oh, you didn't see the vase guy? Yes. Oh, we got to watch all the videos. An adult man? Yes. I thought that was like a mincey thing. He got stuck in a vase. Oh, you didn't see the vase guy? Yes. Oh, we got to watch all the videos. An adult man?

Yes. I thought that was like a mincey thing. He got stuck in a vase. Oh, no. Look how mad he gets. No. I'm doing everything I fucking can. Look how in the vase he is.

God damn it. Is he a Mississippi State guy? Oh, no. Wait, play the whole video. Is he a Mississippi State guy? Oh, no. Wait, play the whole video. Is this at a wedding? Where could he be? Where's the rest of them? I think it's Alabama, too. Where could he be?

I think his knees are up in it, right? So he's, like, stuck. It's like getting a light bulb in your mouth. You can do it. The vase is giving birth. Pull up. All these people. The follow-up videos are just as funny.

That's best case scenario of going to an event. Someone gets, oh my God. Stuck in a vase. I'm giddy. In a vase. I'm celibate.

Look at him. And I'm hoping. Look at him. He gets really mad again. At some point he accepts it. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in his arms. We'll get you out.

We'll get you out. We are not breaking the pact. I'll go now. Who are you? No, we're going to get you out. He's a student at Mississippi State? A sassy gay Southern man. Is this a wedding?

I don't know. Who is the crazy pop out? It's such a great video. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. There's that clip again. It's Cross's arm. There's the Tony P arm cross.

I'm stuck. He accepted his life in the vase. I just shot him in a vase just standing upright. He should have just had to stay in the vase the rest of the night. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. We got a plan for my life. The rest of my life in this vase. I'm stuck.

So he's a Mississippi State guy. That's bad. I don't know. How do you – what happened to Git? Uh-huh. What? The only scenario where I think he comes out of it – oh, he doesn't look good, but – But what –

I said, what if he's in an argument with this – like, they're at a wedding that's kind of boring, and they're just sitting there sipping on beer with a buddy, and he's like, well, goddamn, that vase is huge. And the buddy's like, that's not that big of a vase. Yeah, that's how – But he's like, that's a normal-sized vase. He's like, no, that vase is huge. And his buddy's like, that's not that big of a vase. Yeah, that's how big it is. But he's like, that's a normal-sized vase. He's like, no, that's a huge vase.

Yeah, watch me get in and out of it very easily. I could put a body in there, and he's like, no, you can't fit it. And then... Yeah, and then he gets... But if he was just like, watch this. Yeah, I think it's probably the most likely scenario is he was like, watch me try to scare someone popping out of this vase.

Yeah, yeah. And then they chiseled him out they chiseled him yeah there's another follow-up video tj i'm sure you can find it nick and kb have always joked about mincey getting stuck in a honeypot uh his hand stuck in a honey pot or him in a window yeah this guy's actually happened he's poo adjacent i have a man stuck in a decorative urn at this mountain brook house party i repeat we have a drunk man stuck in a decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. I repeat, we have a drunk man stuck in a large decorative urn. He's laughing at first, but now he's starting to get upset. The women are trying to comfort him. Yeah, this thread is funnier in the video.

It's so funny. Being stuck in something is so scary. Oh, it's the worst. That moment. There he is. Unless it's a girl stuck in a washer machine. There he is. Oh, yeah.

Wait, when was that? Couple flicks. Yeah, one of my favorite videos. Oh, it's usually like a MILF. Yeah. Who gets her hand stuck in a large opening. And then she gets fucked. And then she gets fucked.

Yeah. They should have started fucking that guy. That would have been great. Yeah, this is great. I'm stuck. Oh, man. This is bad for Mississippi State. He likes to draw houses.

Oh, he's got thick thighs. I'm stuck. Oh, his name is Connor, of course. I want it to be Ernest. Ernest gets stuck in a maze. Yeah, he was the Ernest dude there. He was the Ernest guy there. Did you guys watch the Ernest movies when you grew up? No.

Of course. I did, yeah. He's dead, isn't he? Goes to camp, goes to jail, saves Christmas. he dead was he white he's been yeah huh is he though is he medea for the whites oh no was there not a white medea miss robin williams miss doubtfire no but there wasn't multiple miss doubtfires yeah who is earnest oh no no i've heard of this yeah there's a whole video set you know what I mean, Vern? That's what I was just saying.

Yeah. I don't know why. He's a dumb hick. Not really a hick. He was... Who's White Medea? Is it Mr. Bean? Oh, it might be Mr. Bean. Might be Mr. Bean.

That might be British Medea. I know. We need to find... Who's our White Medea? Who's Medea? That's Tyler Perry Oh yeah Is Tyler Perry like the richest dude in the South?

Gotta be He's Maybe Blake Shelton He's rich I think Tyler Perry's got a bill I bet Tyler Perry's Yeah Tyler Perry's a billionaire Yeah

I think he's close I think he shits on Blake Shelton Yeah cause there's always stories about like Tyler Perry Like some celebrity who like didn't want to go to rehab, just went to Tyler Perry's house for a couple weeks. Yeah. Who's Tyler Perry's SEC football team? That's a good question.

I don't know where he's from. I don't know. I don't even know if he's Southern. I assume he is. He's got to be from Atlanta. I don't know, but I know. Is Drewski his generation's Medea? Ooh.

He's from New Orleans? Yeah. Tyler Perry is? Tyler Perry is from New Orleans. Oh. Drewski is as well, right? No, he's from Georgia. Drewski is from Georgia?

Yeah, he's from outside Atlanta. Oh. Definitely. Is Drewski this generation's Medea? That's where he was born. Is that where he grew up? He could hope. Yeah, he might be.

He doesn't do long. He might be bigger. Than Medea? Dude, Drewski is popular. Tyler Perry has $1 billion. I know, but Drewski's like. Are you arguing Drewski versus Tyler Perry? No, no, no.

White rednecks love Medea. Drewski is very, very popular. Obviously, it's changed how, like, if Drewski, 20 years ago, he would have been in a lot of movies. Yeah. Yeah. He probably will be in some movies soon. Yeah. Every time Drewski posts a video, it's like the most A-list celebrities comment.

Yeah. Like, Drake comments right away, Kevin Durant. Like, they all just. Drewski's too funny. Yeah. Drewski too funny. He is too funny. Nickyys too funny it is too fun nicky make you giggle i'm nicky make you laugh kb haha kb haha big cat got you barking oh what's happening why is louisiana louisiana is like so much funnier than the rest of the south different world it is different country it's a different country yeah but they're hilarious're hilarious. They have their own everything.

Their way of talking, their food, their humor. Everything's different. Yeah. Yeah. I'm into that. Mincy. Wake up, Mincy's coming back, by the way. God damn it, why?

I mean, when? We did have an email where it was Hank and I were on the email going through the options of how to bring it back. And then Pete just responded like, just to be clear, we don't have to bring it back. But yeah, we do. We definitely do. It was just gaining momentum. On the second day? I just want it canceled again.

A third thing would bring me so much joy. It would be just the best because i think the way the delay works now is that if he says something it will just like go black and the and the whole stream will just go ironic so no one so no one will know what happened except us so we we might just have to do it yeah i was gonna say so we're gonna hit the button for fun. No, because he just will. Yeah, that's true. He will. There's no point in faking it.

That's a lot of pressure on the producer. Him killing that woman with the smoke machine was funny. Wait, what? Oh, yeah. He suffocated a poor woman. Wait, was that this weekend? At Jumbo. Oh, I got to see this. What?

Yeah. I think you're supposed to hit that smoke button for a second. He just leaned on it? Fire hosed her. I got to see his video. Yeah. I think you're supposed to hit that smoke button for a second. He just leaned on it? Fire hosed her. I got to see his video. Yeah. It was him in smokes at John Boy on Friday. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. That was a very genuine oh, Jesus. Oh, yeah. That's like nothing. Oh, fuck. Thank God. I think we're out of the clear. I think any reports would have...

Any police reports would have already been filed. Yeah. I don't know. I'd give it a week. Yeah, probably. I'd give it some time. I'm not sleeping the rest of the week. Yeah.

Smoked her. He's just dominating that girl. Mincy. He's so nice. Look at him. Where was this? This is Dante's club right around here. Oh, okay.

He looks like the bottom half of him is stuck in a vase. He looks like... Oh, yeah. Is he in a hotel? No, I think that's his... I assume that's his place. He looks like a generic me character. He...

Does he have... Hmm. Okay. No, I'd like to stare at this picture. Yeah. He looks like a... I mean, he is our fella. He truly is a fella.

I'm fella-ed up. Are y'all fella-ed up? We got to do it this Friday, right? Friday? Friday, fella Friday? All right. This week, yeah. I'm fella-ed up. Are y'all fella-ed up? We got to do it this Friday, right? Friday? Friday? Fellow Friday? This week, yeah. I'm in.

I think one Francis J. Fleming will be here this weekend. Is his middle name J? No. It's E. It's Ernest. Is it Ernest? No, it is. It is J.

Earl. Earl. It's Earl. Earl. It's definitely Earl. It's Earl. It's 100%. Frank Earl? Yeah. That goes hard. Earl. Earl. It's Earl. Earl. It's definitely Earl. It's Earl. It's 100%. Frank Earl?

Yeah. That goes hard. Francis Earl Fleming. When you say it like that, he could have assassinated a president. Or been one. Or been, yeah. Been one, yeah. Been a president who assassinated himself.

Francis Earl Fleming. Yeah, he'll be here. I think Jeff D. Lowe will be here. Whoa. All right. For the Browns game. It'll be a nice little party. Every year I forget how garbage January is.

Yeah. Free lunch, though. That's amazing. Good lunch. Thank you. That's way better than, the week alone was better than a party. Nicky Snooks has been first in line.

Every day. Every day. He actually said that he wrote an apology blog and Nate didn't post it because he thought that I wrote it because it was so nice. Wow. Yeah. That's all I needed to hear. Yeah. And he has said sorry many times.

I mean, January sucks. Just fucking free lunch. Let's do it. I miss the geeks. The ge free lunch. Let's do it. I miss the geeks. The geeks. Yeah, by the way, we got our shirts. Oh, yeah.

Check them out. These shirts rock. I do miss the geeks a little bit. Is Jerry's next challenge public? So he was going to do the Boston Jerathon. That's what I heard. Oh, my God. But he said he's sore, especially considering.

Have you seen the treadmill? It's tiny. It's for puppies. Let's actually get Mincy to run on that treadmill right now. Is he here? He was going to do a marathon on that. He's not going to. I'm going to see where Mincy is. Where is the treadmill?

It's over there. You can barely see it. Oh, yeah. It's tiny. Let's put the treadmill right out in front of us. Spider, does the treadmill wheel? You can probably just fold it up and put it in your back pocket. Can you put it right in front of here?

Mincy just posted on instagram from a walgreen so i don't think he's here from a walk yeah pull up his post common instagram tag location everyone's oh they just picked it up yeah it's the smallest treadmill ever. So he was going to do the Boston Jarathon, which is running a marathon, and every Boston cream pie donut he eats is a mile off. Okay.

But he said he's sore. Wait, what? Crazy to live in a city where $8 deodorant has to be locked up to protect it at Walgreens. So that's why he's been stinking also he lived in New York City yes why do they lock up the deodorant? they don't steal it

that's it? there's no like the Tide Pods they lock up because they don't want kids eating them they do the NyQuil as well I think Robitussin but kids aren't doing anything with the deodorant. I don't think.

But he just walked past and was like, I've got to Instagram this. Who's stealing deodorant? I have more questions now. Why is the deodorant? All of the toiletries and hygiene items are. Yeah. But they leave the shitty ones out, and I'm always like, yeah, I'm going to take that before I wait for someone to open it. I've been buying travel-sized deodorant so I don't have to wait every man jack

body wash yep wood grooming locked up but yeah so now he's got to do a different one I think I was talking to Lucas we're thinking maybe get him on rollerblades a hockey skills challenge and then somehow work in. I think Jerry's got to puke. I think that marathon would have been the hardest, harder than the golf. It might have been.

Maybe not longer. Longer, yeah. He would have probably eaten how many Boston Creams? He said he could eat around eight. So then how many miles? 16 miles. Eight donuts and 16 miles? Oh, my God. 18, right? Eight donuts and 16 miles. Oh, my God.

18, right? 18, you're right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I'm thinking maybe some type of hockey skills challenge, but also he's got to do a gallon challenge. I think the natural follow-up to the audience he built is he's got to puke. He has to vomit. Has to vomit.

You've got to see Jerry puke. Especially on rollerblades. Him puking on rollerblades. Puking on rollerblades. Very funny. Always funny. Yes. Puking on rollerblades every time. It's a great...

Every time. It's also... That's one of those things. It's not a combo you see very often. Yeah. You don't really see the puke on rollerblades. I'd like to see him do a mental like a mental challenge as well like a series of like those cracker barrel brain teasers oh man uh crossword puzzle a very complicated jigsaw puzzle

that's what didn't he say uh rubik's cube yeah that one that would forever that would be impossible unless you know how to do it right but that would be which could be funny because the chat could chime in and get like there the rubik's cube obviously solved, and there's a way to do it. And I imagine at a certain point the chat will be telling him which moves to make, but then there will also be people sabotaging it. And he'll get close. He could have the solution in front of him written out on a piece of paper. Yeah, that's true.

You think so? Yes. I mean, he's 100% not getting it if it's just like, I'm going to sit down and try to figure out how to do it. Yeah. But it would be funny if he got some hints along the way somehow. See, I guess Mintzy's not here. It's a Walgreens.

It's Monday. It's 1 o'clock on Monday. He's got to get deodorant. I didn't expect him to come to work on a Monday. Tough time to be in the office. One o'clock on a Monday. His pin post on Instagram is this poorly cropped domino effect meme. What does he even say?

It's Mincy pre-records a morning show leads to dave buys back barstool oh but he just didn't crop it correctly no so he 21 weeks ago pinned he didn't pre-record it though did he no that was how it started remember and then he pre-recorded after the nfl draft and then we yelled at him oh i see point of mincy wake up mincy is it's live yeah and then he said i'm going to prove that it's not pre-recorded and here's how yeah uh in his defense you can't put a glowing red button in front of him no no what is this it's just whiteites for Panic. Oh, okay. Are those seats? Roasted Falcon.

Who dat? Love that. Oh, he's good. He's a good poster. Yeah, he's very good. If he didn't work for us, how long ago would we have called him a fella? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we would have found him.

He posts a lot. A lot. Yeah. Yeah, he does post a lot. No context. I love that. Nice. Everything lot no context i love that nice everything is no context mincey here that was remember the picture when he said he was doing no carbs oh yeah does he do those for no sugar no carbs and it was just a plate of barbecue and quigs did like the calories

it was like six grams of sugar in the baked beans. Kyle, are you cool after getting gym shamed today? Oh, yeah. That pissed me off too. I was mad. Yeah, when you walked in, I knew it was happening. Because Che's never done a lower body workout in his life. Let the boy work.

Che, were you shaming me? No, it's a hilarious exercise you're doing. If I was doing the same thing, I would expect you to take a video of me. No, no, very practical. You wouldn't be doing the same thing because you don't work your lower body. Facts. I didn't see it. What was it?

Chad, you have hot sex and don't do that workout? Well, he has hot sex with his mouth. Oh. I won't go any further on that topic. You do all the time. time almost you shoehorn it in but uh what would our whole lives are especially here yeah no are for cameras why would i not take a video it's the same thing because some things are sacred i mean some one corner some things are sacred i had no problem with the video.

I had a problem with your laugh. Oh, it was a funny... Yeah, but it was kind of a looking down. It was demeaning. Demeaning, like, what is this guy doing? You guys have never laughed at me or anyone else doing an exercise? Come on. That's fair.

Fair point, fair point, fair point. You got to say it. I'm on Chase's side. You play the video, TJ? He just sent us this. This video is disgusting for obvious reasons. But what absolutely blows my mind... That laugh bothered me.

I can't even do it. That wasn't this fucking guy laugh, was it? Yeah. What is this workout? Hips, baby. Yeah, you wouldn't be laughing if you saw that. No, I'd be like, damn, Kyle's getting his workout in. I did.

I walked in. I said, Kyle, day two, because him and Donnie are going through this routine. How sick is it having that over in the corner, by the way? Perfect. Great. Paige just made a purchase. What? A wrestling mat.

Oh, she... Someone... Were you with me, Brandon, when she walked by? I was there. Oh, yeah. Titus just laughed because she walked up and she goes, are you cool with us buying a wrestling mat? I was like, yes.

And that was just a regular conversation. Jay, that's a pretty normal exercise. Yeah. He's doing. I think in every gym in the world, someone's doing that right now. He doesn't. He's never done. Hip thrust. That was my first time doing it. Like a lot of girls. It is a girl heavy

exercise. Yeah. But it's a practical exercise. Yeah. That game's going crazy this year, dude. What? Oh, man. Oh, man. It's, oh, God. Oh, man. It's, oh, God. My only New Year's resolution.

I like that one. My only New Year's resolution was to not let Jay get to me. Bother you? Yeah. And we've made it eight days. I was trying so hard to. Eight days. Dick game going crazy this year.

It's really only four days because. Yeah. Five is the fifth show of the year damn it game going crazy game go oh page um we're gonna need you to reorganize the uh fiscal what's it called fiscal oversight oversight of balancing automobile football lot lot licensing steven put himself in vp of that you're the president you're the president right i'm gonna need you to demote him fire him he please demote him uh right away you can actually send an email junior analyst he can be junior analyst and you're in charge so change the So change the F to female. Oh, yeah.

That works too. Female. Yes. Yes. Okay. I'm a feminist. Junior analyst. Go ladies. He can't be beat. He can't be beat. You're batting a thousand. He's killing it today. What's Mike doing here? Stephen, do

another teacher tweet with the vase. Yes. Don't tell us, but just do it. The vase video. Oh, the guy getting tweet with the vase. Yes. Yeah. Don't tell us, but just do it. The vase video. Oh, the guy getting stuck in the vase? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do another teacher tweet. It has to be teacher? Okay.

Yeah, that's your brand now. All right, give me a couple minutes. Okay, I think maybe study hall is a thing. Yeah. Don't tell us. I want to see. I want to see. Think of school memories, like a field trip.

When you go on a field trip to a fucking vase. But your mom didn't sign the guardian sheet, so... You have to hide in the vase. When you have to play the vase in the school play, but get fucking stuck in it. These write themselves, man. Have you guys ever been stuck in anything? No, it's a big fear.

It's a real big fear. I got my finger stuck in a Ziggy doll. What? Oh, yeah. Wait. I remember that. It had a tag, and it got real, real tight around my finger,

and my finger started to turn purple. I had to go to the nurse to cut off the tag on my Ziggy doll. Oh. I don't think I've ever been stuck. Have you? My son got stuck in the baby's chair, and that was like, I had secondhand fear for him.

I got stuck one time in a truck. It was a single cab truck, and the seat was all the way up. I was six years old. I was trying to get something back there, and to pull myself up, I pulled the seat was all the way up i was six years old i was trying to get something back there and then i i was to pull myself up i pulled the seat back oh and i i got stuck between you know how small the truck is yeah i was behind the seat and the and the cab of the truck oh man i just yelled and yelled and yelled till somebody heard me i got stuck behind a rock wall on a field trip at the carnegie science center there was a little gap, and I was rappelling,

and I went right behind it. They had a wheel at the rock wall as well. Yeah, that's sufficiently stuck. Every metro area had a kid who got stuck in the swing and had the fire department come get her. Yeah. Remember the kid who got stuck in the jaguar head? Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's a funny picture. I've been stuck on an elevator, which isn't quite the same. It sucks, but it's not really the same idea. It sucks, though. How long were you stuck on the elevator? A few hours.

Whoa. That's stuck, yeah. A few hours, but you just kind of sit there. How many people? It was like four or five of us. And I knew them all. It was all teammates. We was it was we were in minneapolis minnesota i got i got stuck in an elevator with like 20 strangers yeah that would be terrible like 35 minutes that sucked 20 yeah

you have any room or no it was it was a big elevator it was the the hancock tower was going up the for like a brunch and it, and it was like 20 people. It sucked. Oh, yeah. You're waiting for one person to freak out. Yeah, and jokes are not as funny. I was trying to be the joke guy, and it didn't work. Yeah.

I got stuck on a roller coaster for three hours when I was little. What? Whoa. TJ. Yeah, it was really bad. What roller coaster? Batman at Six Flags Great Adventure, or Great Adventure, rather. Physically or mechanically stuck?

Like, we were going up the incline. What does physically stuck mean? Like, you couldn't get out of the car. Oh, no, no, no, no. We were on the thing. I don't like roller coasters at all, so this was, like, a big emotional step for me as a kid. And we were going up the incline, and we got stuck, like, right at the top. At the top.

Oh, my God. And it's, like like a hanging roller coaster. So there was no track for us to walk down or anything. So it was just you're stuck until you're unstuck. And it was probably like two to three hours. You're dangled. Were they communicating with you? They were like yelling from the bottom

and then like making some announcements over the loudspeakers. But eventually it just like went and we just went through the roller coaster after that. Oh my God. Yeah, I'm not very good with roller coasters because of that experience. loudspeakers, but eventually it just went and we just went through the rollercoaster after that. I'm not very good with rollercoasters because of that experience. That's a completely fair thing to be afraid of now. I tried to go on the Green Lantern

ride when they opened it and I got fear-based diarrhea and had to get off the ride. I sat down, felt my stomach bubbling, got off the ride, didn't ride it, had diarrhea immediately. That's amazing what fear can do to liquefy a turd. Simple FBD. It just melts your insides.

It's unbelievable. I'm the guy that holds everybody's bags while they go on the roller coaster. I got stuck in the ocean, kind of. What? Wait, what? That's one of the biggest places to get stuck. Yeah, you can't get stuck. You probably had plenty of room.

Well, we had room, but I wouldn't move. I refused to move. The undertow would get you? No, so we were wakeboarding, and I wakeboarded. It was my turn, and my shorts, my bathing suit, fell off. And I didn't want to get out of the boat because I was just butt-ass naked. Yeah. And it took like 20 minutes for them to get me a pair of fucking board shorts or whatever.

Are you looking like the Bass Pro Shop guy? Yeah. That was almost my Bass Pro moment. Everybody will have one. Yeah. Fully erect. Can we do the High Noon ad? Yeah.

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Was it good? It was good. It was damn good, actually. Oh, man. Just the boys. TJ, I sent you a video. This one gave me second hand fear I saw yesterday speaking of

stuck just being stuck oh I hate yep I hate these videos no no no no what do you do when you're in there something like that or being falsely accused is the quickest way to get me to just become delirious. Yeah.

I just, like, lose my fucking mind. Imagine being falsely accused and then getting shot in a Murphy bed. Those are my two nightmares. You did this. By the way, TJ, I didn't realize you gave us our Grant Cardone bracelets. Yeah, one of my friends, Patrick Ahern, sent me a bunch of those for Secret Santa. Shout out Patrick Ahern. This one just says, don't be a little bitch.

Champions dominate. Yeah. Give me that one. Okay. Keep pushing. Hustle muscle. There's that one. What's the hustle muscle?

I don't know. The 10X rule. Hustle muscle. Keep pushing. Success is my duty. No negativity allowed. What's the hustle muscle? I don't know. The 10X rule. Hustle muscle, keep pushing. Success is my duty. No negativity allowed. Oh, we should save this for Fleming.

Yep. It's a chewable one, too. It looks delicious. What does that one say? My bitch? It says, don't be a little bitch. Champions dominate. GrantCardone.com. Brandon.

Brandon, put the shirts on. Let's start. Let's do it. Yeah, let's start doing the shirts. Yeah. All right, let's see if you can slide. Get in your undies. We gotta commit.

That was a bad commit. You have to commit. That's the only way it's gonna happen. Alright, no, no. Let's still do it, but get in the undies. Do we have any sliding socks? Do we have any socks lying around? Sliding socks? Sliding socks.

What about you go barefoot and we just wet the floor? Oh. Mm-hmm. Yes, you could do that in slippery socks. You have that chance right now. What other videos can we make of you? Besides the making out video. Get stuck in a vase wearing the shirt.

What about if you're wearing a shirt and it's and it's a pov of you and then it's steven shay eating your pussy oh absolutely he gets up and wipes his face he's like you smell like champion i don't know what about your wife isn't in it but it's a pov make out towards the camera oh yeah and steven chase not even no but you talk him through it just be like hey it's me brandon yeah michigan you won a national championship and i'm so happy i could kiss every one of you now close your eyes and i'm making out with your face in the in the shirt in the shirt i don't know that that one's going to.

You just kind of like. What am I doing with that? That's your hand. You're grazing and like tickling the cheek. Oh, the cheek. Okay. I thought I was reaching up the shirt. No.

Chill. You dog. No. What else would this do? Tickle the cheek. Unless she has a very big pussy. Dude, it's not all about pussy or titty. Sometimes you just got to tickle a cheek. Dude, it's not all about pussy or titty. Sometimes you just gotta tickle a cheek. I feel like it's all about

pussy or titty. No, man. No. You could just do a video pretending to be Connor Stallions. Just like peeking around corners with a camera. What are some of the most iconic moments caught on camera? JFK assassination.

Yup. Yup. You should reenact that. I should get shot what about the bass pro shops guy yes yep yeah but he was fully naked we can make some creative what about uh the uh but i want my bacon kid is that from wife flop yeah that's you i could do that yeah but i want my bacon you go in the kitchen yeah you should just remake a bunch of videos you wearing the shirts we that's what i'm saying let's let's have fun with it okay but i want my bacon yeah yeah no i and he's like that's not i need my bacon he's mad at the new mom yeah yeah those aren't the rules i mean i'm out of here.

She thinks she can just come in this house and take my bacon. Boss me around. I want my bacon. Can we get Brandon to yodel in a Walmart? Oh, yeah. Well, now you're talking about location changes and everything. We have this beautiful setup. Green screen room.

Green screen room, yeah. Oh, you yodeling in a Walmart would be great. Let's clear the rest of the schedule today and just focus on this because there's a lot of shirts you got to put on yeah i don't if you like overdo it it's like you can't you're the most team player there is well i am that um i do think there's a world where I do all this and I abase myself and I embarrass myself and then Washington wins and none of this was necessary. So then let's not, we don't have to. But won't that be worth the sacrifice? Yeah, we don't have to make the videos live on the Yak.

We can wait until after to tape them all and then you can hold them. Okay. And then you can just do a tweet thread of all of them after. I want you to do peanut butter baby. Yeah. Charlie bit my finger? Charlie bit my finger. What's peanut butter baby?

You didn't answer it. What about a Bevo ripoff? Oh, yeah. Is he okay? Nope. Oh, yeah. I was with you on that. Show the update.

Nick's one and only loss. I had to be reminded of it because Kyle texted us that. Yeah. Is he dead? Apparently, he really spiraled after you guys mocked him on air. He started trying. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys.

You guys are like, I don't talk about B-Vote. After y'all mocked him, he had a crisis. So B-Vote, for people who missed it, it was Nick's one and only L. He showed us this guy who swallows food whole. Not whole, just a few bites. And then we have an update that he is in the hospital. He swallowed a whole chop. A whole pork chop.

Bevo has to eat through a tube due to damaged throat after swallowing a pork chop. What a twist. I think this actually that's a w yeah nick you now have a dub yes yeah because the story arc is very funny now yes we got in early we have video of the chop i'd like to see the biggest job because that guy really puts him down who could have seen it coming? He's back as of eight hours ago on TikTok. Oh, really? But is he still swallowing? I don't know.

He also got robbed. Let's see his most recent video. Really? Yeah. Bevo. Everything's been gone bad for him. Uh-huh. Brought him up. Oh, man.

Poor Bevo. Yeah, there's a video of him getting robbed somewhere. Oh, no. Are we blocked? I think there's a video of him getting robbed somewhere. Sushi gone wrong. Dinner. Egypt, you know the rules.

Listen, we've got a buffet. I had a bit of a buffet. It was a bit boring. I'm not going to lie. So I ate that. But we've got sushi. I've never tried sushi before. Big up the sushi. Big a bit boring. I'm not going to lie. So I ate that. But we've got sushi. I've never tried sushi before. Big up the sushi.

Big up the fish. I never would have guessed. The fork. Sippy's laughing in the background. This is going to be funny. This is... Don't spit. Don't spit.

All right. We're cutting it up. In one. Not in one. It's soft. Not in one. See? He's been neutered.

Yeah. After the pork chop. Oh, he's chewing. Yeah. Yeah, he's been ruined. Oh. All right, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, you are British.

Yeah. Yeah, you're British. Oh, orange juice. Oh, the pork chop scarred him. Oh, the pork chop scarred it. Pork chop ruined beef. Sushi. What the fuck?

OJ and sushi? For you. I'm doing this for you. Oh, what? It's the most he has ever chewed. I didn't even buy it. Sorry, brother. Thanks. Yeah, pork chop ruined it. that wasn't the ginger on top of the

cucumber was it tomorrow jay look at it what the he lost it oh he's chewing his ass now he's an over chewer oj. OJ with sushi. Oh, no. This is sushi. Zero out of ten. Big up, B-Bomb. Big up, Egypt. Big up, Sydney. Never again.

Big up. He's been ruined. Do we see a pork chop anywhere here? I'd love to see the pork chop. God, look at those numbers. It's crazy. Man. Steak with Bevo If you search Bevo Hospital

There is a gaggle of videos Yeah Really Why wouldn't he post that He didn't post it Other people posted it Why wouldn't he document Yeah the pork chop

Is what we gotta watch Oh wait here I wanna see Bevo choke Mincy's on his way Matt. Yeah, the pork chop is what we gotta watch. Oh, wait, here. I want to see Bevo choke. Mincy's on his way. To do what? Test out the treadmill. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, I want to see the treadmill.

Speaking of fellas, have you seen that guy Sketch on TikTok? Is he? No. Oh, yeah. He's like, he's... The boys upstairs have been buzzing about him. Dude, he is electric. What's he do? He plays Madden yeah. He's like, he's, the boys upstairs have been buzzing about him. Dude, he is electric. What's he do? He plays Madden online.

He's a streamer, but he's the funniest guy on TikTok right now. And he would have been fellow territory like a month and a half ago probably, but he's. Too big now? Too big. What's he do? It's just the way he plays Madden. I think he has Tourette's. Oh, okay.

That's something you. And then. That's not a good start. And he also does, like, he's kind of doing Trump while he plays. Okay. He just has, like, really good catchphrases. Jerry's already in contact with him. Good. Dude, he is electric. Can we watch a, are you nervous about this?

No, no. I'm confident in Scav. You think he might have Tourette's? Oh, he does. He's goaded. Valid. Super valid. Super valid book?

Yeah. Super book? Super book. We might be late. We might be late. I think we're late on Sketch. I think we are late. That's okay.

Better late than never. He's been awesome. Yeah. Is he faking his Tourette's like that girl might be doing? It's not like that at all. No. Give us the best Sketch. You want to Bevo over? Oh, yeah

Bevo gets Stuck in his throat not clickbait Be finally recovered back to the ground fuck is that you won they got the curry curry recovery Wait oh wait this is clickbait clickbait, but he did eat that without watching with you This is fake He said it wasn't clickbait That's Skyrim music Porkchop dude

Porkchop made him half a poo What the fuck? What's happening? Did you die? Wait. They have like fake noise. Your heart. That's British tech. British hospital tech. Couple beeps.

Sounds like a clown car. Ice cream truck. Sir, you're having a heart attack. That's what EKGs sound like in England. This is sketch. Is he, uh... Whose van is that? Whose van is that?

Check, check. Who gives a fuck? Sorry for cussing. Family friendly here. Bring the kids around. Not like that, you know what I mean? You're great people here. Great people here.

If you're looking for a girlfriend, go to TikTok. If you're looking for a wife, go to Twitch. That know what I mean? You're great people here. Great people here. If you're looking for a girlfriend, go to TikTok. If you're looking for a wife, go to Twitch. That's what I say. Okay. Is he, uh... I would say. I would say most certainly. Is it insane to do it once?

What about two times? What about three times? Okay, put me in a chair. Lock me up. Throw away the key. Really, throw away the key. I'm a bad man! I'm one of the baddest!

I'm one of the baddest! He put quite a bit of air underneath that touchdown. Oh! Of course we knew that he had the strong arms. He's doing a DK. Absolutely excellent execution by all involved. I tell you what, it's not the players, it's the player. He is kind of doing a trump.

He's doing a little trump, yeah. If I die, if I do, please, mummify these, freeze them. Freeze these in this, and that's what you'll have. You know what you'll have? You'll have a whole lot of money, okay? You know, turn me into a fossil. That's one expensive rock. Does he talk like Morty from Rick and Morty?

Yes. He does. I like this kid. There's a couple things at play here. That's one expensive rock. Does he talk like Morty from Rick and Morty? Yes. He does. I like this kid. There's a couple things at play here. I don't know what. If you don't like clapping, you must not be a happy person, okay? He's the best. And I can't tell how old he is.

He's, like, huge, massive. So he's, like, rich? I would think so at this point, yeah. Wow. He's on the way to be a Gritch? Yeah I bet he's made a Fuck ton of money the past two months Good for him

Good for Sketch I do like the fact that he was doing Like a mini Trump What's wrong Brandon? No No Okay Okay

No No I've offered no reaction No. Okay. Okay. No. No. I've offered no reaction. But in a way you did. You did. I just was sitting here with my face blank. My face is blank. I have a blank face.

Why don't you give us the next topic to talk about? Seems like a reaction you guys like that was great it was good good video thank you mook you didn't you don't like sketch that i i don't think i'm his target audience yeah i agree i that would that made me uncomfortable yeah i didn't like i wanted to choke him out from the back yeah you guys good good hey hey that's i don't say I hated him I think this is a generational Yeah So why did not like watching that

What are we missing then What do you mean I try I mean like Generational Luke and I are in our mid 20s And You guys are not

So mid 20s finds it funny I think he's hilarious He's the funniest guy online right now. Yeah. He's the funniest guy online right now? He's hottest in the streets. Yeah. Every TikTok.

How old is he? Thousands of, like, hundreds of thousands of likes. Millions of views. Is part of his humor, like, his audience getting involved? Somewhat. Like, he'll read chat. And then he plays with, with like this older guy, Zach Lewis, and it's just a very funny dynamic back and forth,

them playing Madden together. Interesting. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I'll die on the sketch hill. So will TJ. Steve. All I'm saying is – I'm not saying.

Say it. Well, I feel like if we handed Nick an L for Bevo, this was more egregious. You guys wanted me to get that L so bad. This was more egregious than that. We were preying on his downfall. Yep. I'll gladly take your sketch L, Pop-Pop. That's on you, cuz.

It's on you, Lil' Bro. I can't be Pop-Pop and Lil Bro in the same sentence. You can be whatever I want. That's, why do I believe him? He's right. You want to give him another try? No. Less than anything.

Do you guys want to? Yeah, it just made me uncomfortable, to be honest. I like the Trump. It's like we're just, like, pointing and laughing at, like, a 12-year-old. Yeah, I don't want to laugh at him. Disabilities. No, he's genuinely hilarious. pointing and laughing at like a 12 year old. I don't want to laugh at him. Disabilities. No, he's genuinely hilarious. How old is he?

He won't. You got to understand, Mark, you're in your 30s. Yeah. You wouldn't understand how funny it is. It's true. To laugh at someone with disabilities. Yeah. It's not because of any disability.

Well, what's the other reason? There's not another reason. He's so funny. He doesn't say any jokes. He's doing a character. It's a character. He's doing a bit. What's the other reason? There's not another reason. He's so funny. He doesn't say any jokes. Yes, he does. He's doing a bit. He's a character. He has catchphrases. He has tendencies. Special teams, special plays,

special players. You gotta go down the road. But y'all said he had Tourette's. Does he have Tourette's? Maybe. Does a lot of this. Yeah, but is he like late for school? I think he graduated.

He's a full-time streamer. Is he, huh? Would he be hired here? Yes. Okay. You guys are eating the cell. I am very comfortable. I think I might need to see more.

I am very comfortable riding out for some might need to see more i am very comfortable riding out for i'll i'll i'll ride along for one more no i mean you're not gonna get it one more is not gonna get it brandon it's not gonna do anything we're just watching a kid freak out on a stream yeah but he's so entertaining i'm that's not for me um by the way this weekend we have uh frank the tank coming to watch the Dolphins on Saturday night. Everyone tune in. Yes, that's right. That's right.

No, but I just don't get it. He's just like a football loving... He's a different guy? Yeah. Help us understand. TJ, give us the best sketch clip you can get that video had

half a million likes likes don't mean they genuinely do though that's actually what it means there's a lot of yeah I don't maybe it is a generational thing I think it is

Steven did his vase tweet. Okay, good, good, good. But he didn't do teacher. The most like thing is... Does he not understand why he's... Okay. What? I mean, the teacher thing was the whole thing.

Yeah, he didn't do it. You want to show it? What if this is just how all plants feel? No, that's not it. That's not it. Oh, oh. Give all the simplest of directions no che delete that that's terrible make it about teachers

it doesn't make sense with teachers that's the point neither did you neither did your dog on a couch tweet what if this is how all plants feel? What if I'm just sketch? Well, yeah, you kind of are. Oh, man. What is happening? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I feel like I'm a little drunk or too tired. I don't feel escaping. How do we get out of this? Sketch. TJ, find us the best sketch. Mook, do the ad read. Find us the best sketch.

I don't think it's going to help. Yeah, I don't think it's this way. You guys are giving up. Most of the clips are like that. He plays football and then he says funny things. You guys are in the majority here. He plays Madden

and then he says funny things. Yeah, we're missing something here. He plays Madden and then he says funny catchphrases. Yeah, we're missing something. Clearly people like him. I was fine just letting it go. I was trying to let it go. Yeah, we didn't mean to derail the show to say we didn't like it. We were just waiting to. No, it's just a miss on your guys' part, to be honest.

Yeah, I agree. I guess this is growing up. It's measurable proof that we're wrong. Kyle, how do you take both sides on every argument? Seriously. He's so good at it, too. He just gaslights us. You guys are all

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I do feel a little left out because the boys, like Jack McCarthy, Jerry, White Boy Rick, they've all been talking about Sketch. The boys are high on Sketch. They're the internet guys. I know. So when you hear them talking, buzzing about something, you're like, ooh, I want to get in on this.

Jerry went without sleep for about 40 hours. That's true. Jack McCarthy's the worst. Bad, bad guy. I don't know about White Boy Rick. I don't know anything about him. He's goaded. Yeah, I feel confident in our evaluation here.

Yeah. I think, yeah. I don't think we missed on our eval. I think we're out of touch. I'm going to have to upgrade Titus to pop up now. I think we're out of touch. Like what you like. I'm not here to tell you you're wrong.

I'm just, if I go the rest of my life never seeing Sketch again, I will be okay with it. We need to get a younger audience. Yeah. Yeah, we're getting the youngins right now. It's going to be funny

when like 90% of the listeners are like Sketch is awful, but I love Sketch. How's the chat handling this, TJ? Yeah, I need more of a sample size. They didn't like it.

Oh. Oh. Well, that actually goes sample size. They didn't like it. Oh. Well, that actually goes against this because they don't like anything. He's undoubtedly the hottest guy in streaming right now. By a large margin. Chad doesn't like us. Which doesn't mean

it's the best. It does. It doesn't. It does not. In fact, it typically means the opposite. Like, very few things. Like, the best movie is not the movie that makes the most money. Do you think he'll be popular next month? McDonald's does not make the best hamburger. Yes.

Yes. Sketch is around. He'll be around. In a year? How does he change it up from being... What's his neck jack? New bits, more magic. I guess he has a lot of one-liners.

Yes. A lot of catchphrases. Very quotable. Yes. Like, he's no World of T-shirts. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's not. Sketch couldn't hold a World of T-shirt jockstrap.

Mm-hmm. Or he's been looking real, real rough. Real bad. He got stranded in Indiana. I got a few DMs from people saying, hey, man, can you stop talking about him? It's getting bad. Oh, okay. So then we will.

Yeah. Just look at some of his recent selfies. We're in Indiana. There he is. We're going on vacation to Indianapolis. Oh. What up, Mincy? Look at those pants.

Mincy, we want you to test out the treadmill. Happy to be of service. How we doing, boys? Doing well. Doing well. How's deodorant? I did. I did. It took a while. It's a crazy world where you gotta hit

the button in the deodorant line to wait like 20 minutes on it to come open an $8 deodorant. You lived in New York City for two years. That was a big thing in New York. Yeah, I guess I don't remember that in Hoboken. Maybe not. No, but yeah.

I'm happy to test it. How are we doing today? Y'all doing good? Good, yeah, yeah. It's small. Yeah, I know. I noticed that was interesting. It's very small.

I guess he just ordered one and didn't think this is like a mini treadmill. Yeah, I don't know. But either way, let's maybe go a mile. Okay. You want a mile? Can I do a little quick stretching? Of course. Yes.

Oh, right here. Right here. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I learned, you know, it's all about, like, I went to a lot of stretch classes this year, and I've learned, like, getting on the ground is really key instead of touching your toes, standing up, to, like, really get your hamstrings loosened up.

Got it. I can touch my toes. Nice. Wow. Wow. I couldn't. I haven't done this the first time I've ever done this. That's good. Wow. standing up to like really get your hamstrings loosened up got it i can touch my toe wow i couldn't i haven't just the first time that's good 17 wow i was going out with nicky smokes it was fun man it was uh yeah yeah i just saw him love john boy but i can only make it about like the 9 to 11 there's great but then it just gets so overcrowded at 11 the feeling overcrowded at 40 is a little much for me yeah feel that feel that well midsy i think you need to hold the stretch for

longer than a second 30 seconds to take effect you gotta really hold it and let your let your muscles stretch out there we go it's tapping his toes. 30. All right. Oh, here we got more. One, two, three. I think that leg has to be down, too. And five. Yeah. There you go.

Okay. Even it out. There we go. One, two, three, four, five. Nice. Okay. Last one. A little butterfly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Okay, last one. A little butterfly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Point stretch, you know? Yeah. If you want a mile, do you want start slow? What kind of tempo? Whatever you want. I can really turn it up. Yeah, turn it up.

I'll start a little slower. Yeah, take off the restrictor plate. Or are we talking in the sevens? Eight? I'm probably, I don't, it's usually like my running like, it takes me about 15 or 20 minutes to warm up. Like, I get – Do you want to do, like, a somersault? All right.

Let me take a – Wow, look at Vincey. The king. All right. All right All right This thing is so small Oh he brought his Airpods in

Yeah he's got to He's got to jam out TJ is this in a good spot Or should we put it Somewhere else Should we put it In the middle of the floor It has to be plugged in

Oh Good point We're about to see How small this is Oh man somewhere else. Should we put it in the middle of the floor? It has to be plugged in. Oh. Good point. We're about to see how small this is. Oh, man. It's going to be, like, shaking. Yeah. I don't really understand. It should be catching. It's also, like, a foot wide. Oh, my God. Yeah. There's no room to run. I don't think he can run on it.

There's no room to have, like, a gate. Yeah, I don't know if... Oh, my God. It don't know if he can. There's no room to have, like, a gate. Yeah, I don't know if... Oh, my God. It's the world's smallest treadmill. Certainly no bad. I think it's for, like, Westminster poodles. You're right. We bought a poodle treadmill.

Yeah. The fuck? Here he goes. Okay. Yeah, he's running out of space already. What? It's already hitching? Like the track is like catching on the...

Oh, yeah. Well, when he starts running, that's going to... That's what happened to Brandon when he tried to run that one time. He's already almost stepping off. I think we have to throw this treadmill out. It's so small I could fit it in my apartment. Stephanie just gave us a face like... What's it cost, 40 bucks?

He's trying to change the incline? Why would he change the incline? Why are you doing the incline? It's not flying right now. Oh, it's not? It's on an incline. Oh. Take your...

Oh, no. Those pants are coming off. Those pants are a problem. Those pants are gone. Oh, we got a Bass Pro situation. There we go. That bone is destroying his left leg. There's nowhere else to put it, man.

It only goes to 6.0. I can't get it faster. Mincy in high-waisted leggings. We bought the world's worst treadmill. This is treadmill is that the max speed yeah, he said six points That's the highest that's the fastest it goes Boy there's I feel bad almost there's I don't do we need to make him do the whole thing? No, we don't. That's a ten-minute mile.

I wish it would go faster. It's making so much noise, too. Everything is getting worked right now. KB, are you running at all or just lifting? I started running, and it's either the best thing I do or the worst thing. Sometimes I'll run three miles and feel great, sometimes horrible. You get a nice stretch afterwards? That's the key.

Oh, I'll be stretching at home. No, dude, you got to, after you're done. You always got to stretch afterwards. Do like a 30-minute. Oh, oh, oh, oh. No, dude. You got to, after you're done. You always got to stretch after. Do like a 30 minute. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I'll start. Oh, starting to jam out, guys. It feels great. Wait, was that a dance?

That was a jam out. Yeah. That was, no, he was, he just hits a good part of the song. He emoted. Mincy kind of is a legend, though, to just get a text out of nowhere that's like, we need you to run a mile. Hey, come into work. Come into work. Come into work.

Yeah. Absolute legend for doing it. For coming into work at 1 o'clock. All right. I was trying to be nice to him for once. Yeah. Why? Because, Brandon, if we texted you and we're like, hey, Brandon, come here.

Go run a mile on a treadmill. Oh, we tried that. Think about what the mental hurdles have i tried to get you to do that fuck it i'll do it because we tried that and it was actually the only time that uh nick turned to me and was like hey i think i think we're taking this too far yeah and all we were doing is asking him to run a mile it was on a treadmill the video is up it's like a vlog that's yeah nick was like he was like you got to put it the first time you could crush that a vlog. Nick was like, you've got to put an end to this. You can crush that now, I think.

I was like, what are you talking about? And then Che came in and was a hero. I'm in worse shape now than I was then. What? What about the pants falling off? The pants were just falling off. That doesn't mean I've got myself. I'm not in shape shape.

What does shape look like to you? I'm being serious. When are you like, god damn, I'm in good shape. If I does shape look like to you? I'm being serious. When are you like, God damn, I'm in good shape? If I can run two or three miles without stopping, that's being in pretty good shape. That's good, yeah. Yeah. What did you do that mile in? I didn't finish it.

Oh, you didn't finish. No. No, Stephen Shea had to come. He ran a quarter of a mile. Yeah. And everyone was like, this is torture. Oh, that is torture. They were looking at me like I was at Guantanamo

and I was like waterboarding someone. That is. Yeah. Straight pose from me. Another one. Oh, my God. I'm slaying.

I'm serving. What about just sprinting the last like half part? Che. Che. I'm serving Che Bastard Alright, what is that? Who is that? It's Adrian! Who was it? Adrian Oh You quit a quarter mile. All right, what is that? Who is that? Who was that? Avery. Oh.

I guess I'm saying you got to go faster. Step in your lane. Step in your lane. Go fast. Just do a brisk walk. Open your hip. I thought your shirt said team. He went day two mode.

Wow. Is that the first time? All right. You look good. You look good. You look good. That's a real treadmill. We need that. This looks 15 years old. Yes.

Layered in fog. Are you in better or worse shape now? Have we all changed? This is only 2021. Damn. Here, let's go. Can we fast forward to his end of it? We don't have to watch any of them.

Oh, yeah. I'm struggling. Wait, that plays. Yeah, that was good. That one holds up. What do you think you can sprint? How much time? No, you can sprint in some way. What is Jay doing? For the time? No, you can sprint in some way. What is Jay doing?

For the last.15, he'll sprint. We were trying to live stream this, but there is an issue with. Of course. I am 41 years old now, Shay. He went and hid in Erica's office too. I did? Yeah. Remember her?

42. In her old office. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh. Mincy's still going. He looks good. Let him go.

Yeah, we could just end. Wait, can we sneak out of the studio? Yeah. I think we could pull that off. I think we can. Get your guts! Of course. How did we not know something was bound?

It's going to happen again. Yeah, it's got to go. He's touching the top. Every step he's kicking it. It is like a joke treadmill. It's bouncing up and down. It seriously looks like we bought a joke treadmill. Jerry was going to run a marathon.

A marathon. What? I think he's singing. Oh. Run, Mimsy, run. All right, let's spin the wheel, and then let's just all, if we go out the side door. Let's go. Everybody, just, yeah.

Or is this mean? I don't think he's going to care. I don't think he's going to care. I don't think he's going to care either. He doesn't care about anything. He's got his music. He's fine. Oh. Okay.

I'll try. I know. All right. I'll change my name wheel. I told TJ over the weekend. To what? Everybody gets an accent for the next show. Oh, I like that. I love that.

I like that a lot. What kind? Is there a wheel for the accent? Yeah, there's an accent wheel. Is there any problematic ones? Yeah. Oh, nice. I want Indian soap. I like that a lot. Yeah. Oh, nice. I want Indian so bad.

I like that a lot. British. French, perhaps. Okay, those are allowed. I guess I could have, I think anybody could have been born in China. Black. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Mexican. Oh. Nice. Anything else? Asian. Indian. Yeah. China. Southern. Mexican Nice Asian Indian China

Southern I don't know I haven't put together the accent well yet Deaf And it doesn't have to be It can only be like one or two guys It doesn't have to be the whole show Okay

Deaf sounds a lot like very sleepy Wait Wait Deaf sounds a lot like very sleepy. Wait. Wait. Huh. Huh. Huh. Ooh.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. It does. I'm trying to think of deaf. We should do a game show called Sleepy or Deaf. Oh. Like you're waking up. Ooh. Ooh.

Rowan did a good def, didn't he? Roan did a real good def. Stellar. He's just trucking along. We can stop him. Yeah, you want to stop him? Hey, Mintz, stop. Mintzy!

Stop. Mintzy! Oh, he's gone. You're good. Stop. I got. Stop. Mincy. Oh, he's gone. You're good. Stop. I got.15 in my house. Oh, okay,.15 left. Oh, well, it's not something you needed to do.

That's why he's a legend. This is what I said. Yeah, this is legendary. He's built different. No questions asked. Yeah, I'll jump on that treadmill I think if we If we left Even if we ended the show proper

Now he wouldn't stop No No he started something He's gonna finish it The vampire on Halloween The vampire on Halloween He's singing some sort of He was a monster man

Is that Bone Thugs? I hope not Oh shit It's He looks like a monster mask. Is that bone thugs? I hope not. Oh, shit. It's... He's an incredible athlete. He goes into another world. Yeah. He just locks in.

He's like Zuckerberg coding. Something relaxing about it. I know. It's very, like, oddly therapeutic. Just watch them run Run Mincy run I ran an 8 minute mile one time Yeah How long did it take you?

8 minutes Do you guys know what moles are? What chops are? No Like weed hits with like tobacco Half tobacco You're just saying a lot of words i don't know okay it was the summer of moles okay maybe 2018 2019 and i was addicted and my friends bet me that i couldn't get up off the couch and run an eight minute mile

so i took a train home from philly met them at at a track, did it in 758. Oh, that's kind of impressive. Yeah, yeah. Beast. Good time. Beast. It was a big moment for me. All because you were addicted to moles? Yeah, because they were like, this is becoming an issue.

You won't get up off the couch. Interesting. Or like, try to run a mile. 758. Is that a different high than straight weed? Yeah, it's like a head rush. They were huge. They still might be huge huge but there was a

tobacco and weed yeah and you like you like torch the whole bowl oh he's getting insane head rush yeah i could i could see how that would work kind of want to do a mole hit now balls are great it's a slippery road though yeah this has been a long 0.15 yeah yeah men say oh you got it he did it he did it yep there you go tiny treadmill mile Oh. How was it, Mincy? It was good.

Y'all saw that little. Yeah, a little slip. A little stumble. It only goes to 6.7. I mean, our jury's not going to be. Yeah, wait. Talk to the mic. Did you feel like you were going to fall and the whole thing was going to fold?

Well, it was. I got. When I busted in my little dance move, things went haywire about six minutes in yeah um okay so a few thoughts definitely a little small uh okay yeah the uh good thing we had you run to figure that out yeah yeah i know you couldn't have seen that um like i said the six point oh is the max and like you know when i turn it up i mean we're not afraid to get to the 9 or 10 miles an hour at the end. Fuck yes. I was hoping I could do that for y'all.

But I don't think – you know, Jerry's going to be going for walking. So it would only be a 6.0 is fine. I mean, if he's doing 26.2, I can't imagine. I mean, so the deal is he's got to just finish it, right? Right. Okay. I gave him a bunch of advice. I'm, like, trying to help him because I know about this stuff.

Yeah. I told him to start stretching hamstrings hamstrings calves and quads last night your your voice after running yeah it feels like you someone just died just crying yeah i'm sweating my ass off i know you're probably hurt a little more it's weird though the running thing like i didn't catch a runner's high till the very end like it takes me 10 or 15 minutes to warm up it's weird like usually it takes a mile and a half or two miles and then i like really turn it up from like two to five i think that's normal that's all right that's not unusual yeah yeah yeah but the jerry thing i mean i don't know i warned him like i said i told him calves hamstrings quads stretch a ton drink a lot of water the thing he's really gotta worry about is the chafing

like the thighs rubbing. I'm telling you, I told you on the stream, dude, I was wailing in the shower after the half marathon. I told him you've got to bring a change of clothes instantly when you're done because for us bigger guys, that ain't no. Yeah, what was your wailing sound like again? Ah! Ah!

Yeah. I mean, it was really bad. But, you know, I jerry's got the heart he'll do it but it's it's one of those things man uh you know it it sounds better to walk a marathon to do i've never walked 26 miles yeah that's that ain't no that ain't no joke and so it's he can eat a donut to a can of miles is that what it is yeah i mean i guess if he a strategy should be like do walk three miles and eat a donut.

Yeah. Maybe do like three miles at a time and then knock off a mile. I kind of love your voice right now after it. It's like, it's like a,

it's like asking like a football coach, like remember that, remember that one play back in 1982? Yeah. Can you say the sentence, we have a boy stuck

in a vase in the backyard and we're not sure what to do with it? We have a boy stuck in a vase in the backyard. No, no, no to do with it? We have a boy stuck in a vase in the backyard. Oh, you can't do the voice. That's all right. Yeah, don't worry about it. I think Jerry would have a better chance of just eating 26 donuts.

He might. Well, I would do. Yeah. There's no way. 26 is a lot of donuts. Brandon could do it. Yeah, Brandon, how would you go about this challenge? I would eat 26 donuts.

I would try to eat 26 donuts. Now, if you come up short, you're really screwed because you've got to run 10 miles on 16 donuts. Yeah. That's rough. That's what I was saying. You should do the three miles and then a donut and pace it. So for every three-mile increment, you eat a donut, and that knocks off a fourth mile. And if you can break it down into like five or six three- or four-mile stretches.

Yeah, you can do it. And then only one donut to not over. I think that's probably optimal. Sounds miserable, man. But he just has to finish. I mean, there's no pace. He can walk at like 3.5. Right.

That doesn't, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, well, thank you, Mincy. Last thing, I want to ask about the, what did you think of all that Saints stuff yesterday? That was wild.

Yeah, I liked it. I love it. Made a collective decision. Yeah. You know. Jameis is the best. Yeah, it's wild. And then the Barstool – like Cam Jordan and Jameis and Khalil Saunders,

the defensive tackle, they were all like retweeting the Barstool NOLA account. Love it. Kind of Samantha Dennis Allen stuff. Yeah. Which I thought was pretty crazy. They got all, like, retweeting the Barstool NOLA account. Love it. Kind of Samantha Dennis Allen stuff. Yeah. Which I thought was pretty crazy. They got to fire him. Yeah, it's weird, but it was always 9-8 with fake optimism with Derek Carr the last four games to keep Dennis Allen, you know.

Right. Anyway, all right, that's it. All right, well, that's our show, too. Yeah. Thank you, Vincey. Thanks, Vince. All right, thanks, everyone. Please subscribe.

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