The Yak - Brandon's Sister Spilled Her Guts with Connor Griffin | The Yak 3-20-24

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up. Hello. Welcome in. It's the Yak. Promo code yak at roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code yak.

20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing the joggers right now. Yep. So are you, Brandon? I am. Come with me. So are you, Kyle? J am. So are you, Kyle? Joggered up.

Most comfortable pants out there. So Roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. I wanted to start today's show with congratulations. Mm-hmm. Congratulations, Nick. Thank you. congratulations Nick thank you top 100 pirates twitter users in the Pittsburgh Pirates

thank you guys also congratulations to Brandon because his sister got fucked by Connor last night yeah that's right I was looking for a card for like when your sister gets fucked and I couldn't find it there's no category for sister getting fucked.

Congrats on your pussy being destroyed. The guts tour. Do, do, do, do, you have it. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Guts. Do, do, do, do, do, you have it. Let's go down to Moe.

I'm sitting. I can't do a British down to Mo. I'm sitting. I can't do a British accent. Fuck. I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here with Caitlin Walker freshly off to getting. Caitlin, were your guts spilled or not? Do you have it? But seriously, Nick, top 100.

Also, Frank Fleming made the list. top 100. Yeah, that's awesome. Also, Frank Fleming made the list. Frank's on it. Kyle's number 90. What? Yeah, I'm so pissed. Kyle. Good job.

This is the top Pirates fan? Yeah. Can you set it to 50? Now, I'm top 50. Yeah. You're top 100. I'm 42. I'm not a Pirates fan.

I never have been. I'm a Mets fan. Frank is stupid. Wait, Fleming's on here. Fleming's on here. Who's below me? That's how sad the Pirates are that they had to just throw Frank on here. This is an insane list to make.

It has to be Pirates number 39. I'm three below Pirates. I mean, that's insane. That's the saddest franchise in the world when I can just be from an hour away and wear the hat occasionally. But also just be like, we ran out of people. Who else talks about pirates? Oh, Frank, maybe. Frank Fleming.

Did they need to hit a quota of 100? They couldn't have done 10? Yeah, they should have probably stuck at 10. I need't know who i need to know who made this billy hoyle the the character from white man can't jump i've never tweeted about the pirates or you beat the bucko sax boy i beat a podcast devoted to the pirate bucko fever pod that's that's a bad break for bucko fever well no we have to hop on it yeah yeah i now i want to now i'm

determined to make you also have like 30 the the fake account like platinum cabrian yeah like yeah it's like a cabrian cabrian hayes yeah like like a yeah like a drunk o'neill cruz yeah or something big cat i think you need to tweet go pirates once yeah you'd be top three go buckos jesus that's incredible i'm really right like what is it skeeves paul skeens skeens yeah dating livy dunn yeah see yeah that's right you might bump you up i'm a skeens guy yeah um i saw him strike out Jackson Holiday. Yeah. I think Mook should try to get to number one. You could.

Yeah, you should be the guy to tweet every single Pirates game. Be the Barstool Pirates guy. Yeah, do we need a Pirates blogger? I mean, I'm top 50. Yeah, have you ever tweeted the word Pirates, plural? I'm sure you've done Pirate. Why? Yeah, why are you so sure of that?

Odd hill to die on. What? I don't know. You should be tweeting that, though. He might be right. I bet I'm right. You think I've tweeted the word Pirate. Why? Why are you so sure of that? Odd hill to die on. What? I don't know. You could be tweeting that, though. He might be right. I bet I'm right. You think I've tweeted the word pirate. Yes. But not pirate.

But not pirates, plural. Yeah. Oh, he did. This has to be an influence so we know a human can look so much like another. That has nothing to do with pirates. That doesn't say piracy at all. What? Yeah, what?

Must have been replying to somebody that said pirates. This looks like you spinning image. Wait, what? That's been replying to somebody that said pirates. This looks like you spinning image. Wait, what? That's a banger thread right there. That's Tom Kite. But wait, that's still not good pirates. What is this? The Yak is spinning brainwalking for one-ups for making a joke about a worldwide pandemic.

Nothing to do with pirates. Elon, step your shit. Oh, yeah. This is March 12th is like right In the thick of it 2020 I think Saturday Is the four year anniversary of the like National lockdown Yeah it feels about four years

We kind of fucked that up Yeah that was bad I've never tweeted at pirates or I don't think at the pirates Have you ever talked about the pirates You just simply wear a pirates hat You wear a pirates hat I'm about to bump you RTJR Yeah don't know at the Pirates. Have you ever talked about the Pirates? You just simply wear a Pirates hat. You wear a Pirates hat. I'm about to bump you, RTJR.

Yeah, don't know. Raise the Jolly Roger. Yeah, Frank is on there because of Seton Hall. Oh! That makes perfect sense. No, it doesn't. Yeah, it does. He tweets about the Pirates. But it's Seton Hall Pirates.

Oh, does it just say Pirates? Oh, I was just talking about the modern Somali Pirates and how I'm like trying to fund them and raise more support so like if I just go see Captain Phillips I could get on this I think that's enough in Pittsburgh Pirates media

this is the saddest list ever good god I just love it so much shout out that guy I'm pretty high up. Can we DM that guy and see if we can get him a call in and just be like, what? How did you compile the data? Yeah.

Like, was this, did this take you a really long time? Oh, we got our speakers outside. We got an echo. Echo. Echo. Echo. It's just. Yeah, imagine you just spent the last four months

just slaving over this. I mean, he did it right. He's getting attention now. All right, I'm just going to tweet pirates. Who's this guy? He's taking pictures. Is he a sound guy or a tech guy? Yeah, he looks like he's working.

He's working. He's doing something. You got to let me know about the funk guy because he just might be my barber from now on. What do you mean? He's going to be coming back. Is he?

Good. Yeah. Because if he's not, I'm just going to go to his shop. Who do we have here? That's like the least interesting part of the office. Yeah, what is he doing?

Look at this awesome office. That's the worst part of the office. Oh, your mic's not on. Your mic's not on. Oh, that couple got to you? That never happens to me. It made me feel very cool. What happened? There was a couple here that

they wanted to meet me. Oh yeah, we had a tour going around. Back to Brandon's sister. How was her night with Connor Griffin? There was a lot of banging, we heard. Guts. It was the Guts tour.

Look at that. Oh, my goodness. DJ, play this video. Watch his face after the K-3. In the books. Watch this. All right, folks. Olivia Rodrigo.

This dirty dog. In Chicago. In the books. Guts tour. It's alive and well. What a performance. What a show. Every single song was a banger.

I was laughing. I came close to crying. I a performance. What a show. Every single song was a banger. I was laughing. I came close to crying. I was raging, fist pumping. I think I kind of sprained something in my neck because I was just banging my head so much. What a night. Huge shout out to Mark and Brandon. Totally unnecessary.

I don't deserve it, but what a gift. And I love them so very much. I love everybody on Moses Sports. Love the crew. Can't wait to see you all tomorrow. Also, deluxe album coming from Olivia Rubber. Oh, okay. So be on the lookout for that. I will see you all tomorrow.

Caitlin, do you have anything to say? Great show. Thanks, Brennan and Mark. Yeah. Oh, man. That smile. That nod. That smile.

That scoof. Anything to say? He's a dog. Great show. Thanks, Brennan and Mark. Man. He had sex there. You missed one day of work.

Of all the people in this office, Connor Griffin is top. He was also planting the seeds for his neck to be sore today. I was headbanging at the pop star. Yeah, that's what did her. That's why my neck was sore this morning for sure. A whole lot of Seed? A lot of Seeds. I bought the ticket.

Yeah. You're a cuckold, dude. Yeah. You're a pimp. Weird. For my sister to go enjoy a nice concert. If they had a good time, they're friends. Here's your one chance, fancy. Don't let me down.

Sing a song about a prostitute. You pimped your sister out. You did. I was going to buy Brandon. I was going to buy one ticket. You FaceTimed into mostly sports. You're like, you know what?

I'll buy Connor tickets so you can take someone on a date. That's what happened. They took my sister. Did buy the other ticket. Yeah. take someone on a date. That's what happened. Then he took my sister. So you kind of did buy the other ticket. Yeah, I kind of opened myself up to that. But we can move along. Brandon, you'd be a great pimp. Based on the fact that he's already done it?

Yeah. L-O-L-A, Lola. Is there, seriously, Brandon, is there any concern that Connor's working himself into a shoot? Because he's obviously hanging out with your sister to bother you, but it's like a rom-com. If we're being honest. Yeah, it is sort of a rom-com. If we're being honest, we're all friends and family here.

We're all family here. Be honest. If you ask me to rank the dudes in the office. Right. Based on dateability for your sister. 1-1. Right. Yeah, I don't, if he's not 1-1, he's very, he's a very early first round pick.

And he might be 1-1. Wow. Connor Griffin's way up there. This has your blessing. I agree with that. Is like. Wow, congrats to the happy couple. What about just piping?

If you had to rank piping. Strictly piping. I'm going to lean towards the dating, but I guess piping. Is it the same exact list? No, piping is probably a very similar list, yeah. But there are differences. Yeah, Ryan would be near the top of the dating list, but not the piping. I don't want Ryan piping.

No, no, no. I don't want that soul patch anywhere near. Right. Yeah, I can tell you. Nikki Smokes is bottom of dating, but top of piping. Sure, yeah. No, bottom of both. Bottom of both. Yeah, he pipes.

Jerry's trying to get Nikki Smokes to start an OnlyFans where he just fucks. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know. It's just I walked into the – it's like every like once a week I walk into the gambling cave and there's just like all of our worst brains are sitting there cooking something up. And it was Jerry and Nicky yesterday. And it was literally just like can Nicky Smokes become a profitable porn star? That was the premise that they were working on.

They were cooking something up. Yeah, they were cooking up. They're like, think of all the money we can make. The answer is yes. Yeah, I mean, I said, honestly, I would watch. I'd probably pay. I would pay and I'd watch. Yeah, you'd have to.

Yeah. As long as it's not Ryan, dude. I know he only fucks long dick style. I know the head goes completely out every time with like long plaid shorts uh-huh oh yeah sticking his dick out the top you don't see his balls isn't that right kate yeah ryan feels like he yeah he'd like do the worm on a girl. I know. I know he pulls. He takes full long dick style. Not even for a bit.

He fucks Longley. Yeah. He's standing across the room fucking him. Which smokes his name, but Ryan styles. Not to be confused with Nick Longley. Nick Longley. Yeah. Yeah.

Ryan fucks Longley. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Where is he at? Keeps his Iowa sneakers on. Oh, yeah. Brandon, are you in some shit with Iowa?

I just do that about once every six months. What happened? I just tweeted Iowa fans are terrible people, and I stirred them up a little bit. Every now and then I got to do it. They treat their own athletes poorly. I've been on the Hawkeye Report chat room. Yeah, they're awful people. They have the empathy and deductive reasoning of a jungle foul.

Mm-hmm. Wait, what is it? So, Caden Proctor was an offensive tackle that transferred from Iowa to Alabama yesterday. And that person tweeted that? Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Well, that's a terrible thing to tweet at someone.

They're awful people. They are awful people. They're the worst. I've encountered the worst of every fan base, and nobody's as low as Iowa. Well, let me ask you this. Would you rather be right or happy? Oh. Maybe that's something you could start asking yourself.

Where'd that question come from? Kyle's been getting a little philosophical. Yeah. I think I'd rather be happy. Right. I think I'd rather be right. No way. In the moment, maybe.

Long term, you'd rather be happy. Wouldn't being right lead to happiness? No. You're always right. It's like a drug. Temporary happiness. But if I'm right about all my gambling picks, I will then be happy. You're more in the context of an argument.

Are you aware that you're wrong if you're happy but you're wrong yeah yeah it's more kind of seating but you're happy so it just kind of rolls off your back like huh whatever oh i guess i was wrong fuck that up all right i'd be like yeah i was right again. My life rules. I'm always right. I'm never right. I'm more saying don't even entertain the argument, especially with people close to you. Wait, say that again? A lot of people want to fight their point. Right.

But that's not making anything better. But if they're right, I guess it would have to be the person says, oh, yeah, you know what? You're right. Right. I mean, but that doesn't happen. That would lead to happiness. Right.

That would, yeah. Okay. Hmm. That's quite a. He definitely fucked your sister, Brandon. Yeah. For sure. Softly, though.

You don't know the. You don't know. Yeah. You don't know the tone or speed. It could have been hard. I was being nice. That was a nice thing. You don't know the... You don't know the tone or speed. I was being nice. That was a nice thing to say. You don't know. It wasn't a grown-up.

It was a rag doll for sure. It could have been some light choking. Connor's a big boy. He could just lift her up and... He's a strong man. Throw her wherever he wants. He's a really strong man. Out of nowhere...

He's watching this right now. Yeah, he grabbed me. He was like, if you want her to achieve orgasm faster, grab the hips and move her side to stop. And I and i was like dude i'm trying to fucking have my coffee connor if you didn't come in in 20 seconds the next 20 seconds if you didn't come in he's on like a slight delay. Well, that's too bad. He's not here within 20 seconds. Start the clock, TJ.

Would you rather be an awesome lead singer, guitarist, or a superstar WWE wrestler? Lead singer. The singer. 14. Singer. Or athlete. Lead singer. Oh, there's the clock.

Are we for real going to Third Eye Blind? Yes. Yes. What? We're 100% going to Third Eye Blind. Oh, you weren't here. We're going to Third Eye Blind? Yes. What? We're 100% going to Third Eye Blind. Oh, you weren't here. We're going to Third Eye Blind. Yeah, right before July 4th.

Get in here. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What's if he doesn't? 20. Oh, no.

He's just admitting it. He's just admitting it. Oh, no. Oh, there he is. All right. Nice. You were close to not. Yeah.

Yeah, you almost held your load. What was the stipulation there? If I didn't come in the next 20 seconds, then I... Then you came. Oh. Well. Oh. I'll leave that to the viewer.

I'm kidding, Brandon. I did not. All right, now walk us through the night. I'm kidding, Brandon. I did not. All right. Now walk us through the night. But did she? Brandon, what? No. No.

It smells like kin pussy in here. There was nothing. There was nothing. Just two pals having a good time. What was the scenes like? What was the crowd like? Was it younger? It was much younger than I anticipated.

He said 12. He said he was surrounded by people 10 to 18. 10 to 18 was probably the prime demographic. There were a bunch of girls there with their mothers. Let me say that again. 10 to 18. It was not what I was expecting. 10 to 18 is hilarious.

There was no line for the men's bathroom. I was the only person in there at one point. I got this shirt. I didn't have to worry at all about them selling out of men's XLs. It was very easy to get. Oh, you are a big boy. Yeah. But, yeah, it was a fun time.

But when you're just walking around the concourse before the concert starts, it's very alarming. And I said it on most of the sports, there was a point where we split up, Caitlin and I. She went went to go grab the beers and then i went to get this shirt and i was just by myself in this sea of yeah like 15 year olds and sparkly shit you know she went to get the beers yeah of course of course as you do yeah i i said i could get the beers and she said no no no you worry about the uh that's one thing I will say about Caitlyn she was very accommodating yes to all your needs I know where you're going with that um she was like hey I'm just here to tag along like whatever you need whether it's like me

taking videos or whatever yeah so you were dialed in and she helped you yes achieve and she was like she was an Olivia Rodrigo fan she knew the song So she was Obviously happy to be there But she also was Very helpful in the sense that Like this was kind of like My Super Bowl She made sure Yeah it was a perfect night for you

Yes exactly So Start to finish She was She was the perfect guest And it was a great time Other girls in the office Are mad at Connor

Yes Yeah Oh Nice Connor There's a baby for you? Caitlin's not even a big Rodrigo fan But we have co-workers who are super fans Wait, is she, is Mackenzie, is Olivia Rodrigo playing again tonight?

Yep I'll buy Mackenzie tickets In retrospect, I should have bought tickets for tonight yesterday And we could have spent all day today doing like a rose ceremony Where Connor has to pick the date Watching you yesterday try to figure out you want to go again no let somebody else go mad dog wanted to uh have the girls in the office run the gauntlet to see who got to be his date yeah that's a great as soon as i got off of the show yesterday i was met with madeline mckenzie megan making money page all of them just like hey i'm

free tonight yeah but you don't fuck but you don't want to have intimate intercourse with any of them so that's that's the that's that was the thing that only your boss's sister yeah did did you make the choice or were you thrust into it i was between caitlin or the runner up for Jerry after dark foot competition How long were you between them? What was the tiebreaker? He saw Caitlyn's feet I

I love it too because I assume I didn't watch mostly sports, because I assume, I didn't watch Mostly Sports today, but I assume this was discussed at length, but it was probably done a little bit more delicately. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. I let Brandon run the show. He just ripped off the video.

We're going harder than anyone. That's what happened the last time, too, when Caitlin and I were at the hockey game. Slightly touched on Mostly Sports, and then you guys, yeah. But, you know, Caitlinlyn was the obvious choice. This would be so much more fun for us if she wasn't 50 feet away. I have to look at her in the face. Hey, Caitlyn.

I've been walking by her without making eye contact. She's been cool about the whole thing. Right. Which, she's a great sport. Yeah. What did you guys have for breakfast? We did not have breakfast. Although, I am wearing the same exact outfit. You're wearing the same exact outfit. We didn't have have for breakfast? We did not have breakfast Although I am wearing the same exact outfit

You're wearing the same exact outfit You didn't have time for breakfast? No, no time So how many brews did you get in you? Just one Wow I capped off at one You needed to hone it in

Yeah Also, yeah So, what was it? So she went on at around 8.30 And then was on until like 10.15 nonstop. So I was like, I don't want to leave my seat. And by that point, I only had gotten one beer anyway. Who are you calling?

Yeah, who is this? Are you calling your mom? Don't call your mom because Nick's here. Yeah, I am here. And she already texted me this morning. She texted you her bracket for help, and you didn't answer. So guess who's helping her with her bracket? Brandon.

I fucking hate this fucking place. Who are you calling? Who are you calling? Are you calling your mom? I don't even know. Who are you calling? I was going to call Mama and tell her y'all were making fun of her little girl. I was going to tell her that her precious big cat.

Why don't you call her, Nick? Don't you fucking call her. There's no way she'd answer. She didn't pick up for you. Yeah, she wouldn't pick up for me. No way she would pick up for Nick. No way. There's no way.

There's just no way. No way. Sorry, guys. This is unprofessional. One second. Come on. Come on, mama Come on, mama She's probably busy She works at the courthouse

Who's she gonna call back from? Hey, mama Hey, uh I just wanted to be the first to tell you I think your little precious daughter found a real good man Oh, I'm so excited about it Do you want to meet him now? Sure, is he there?

He's right next to me Hey mom, how's it going? I can't see her. Can you hear me? You have plenty of opportunity. Are you there? Hello. Can you see me now?

Yeah, I see you. I'm Connor, by the way. I know who you are. Okay. Well, it's nice to officially meet you. Have you been pucking anybody lately? No, no, no. There has been no pucking.

Yesterday was just enjoying a concert. Tears in my eyes. You raised some lovely children. I'm very in my eyes. You raised some lovely children. Oh, yeah. Nick is great. Yes, thank you. Yes, I'm her lovely child. I'll hand you back to Nick.

Thank you so much. It was great meeting you. Oh, my God. All right. Bye-bye now. All right, Mama. I'll help you out with the bracket after the show, and I'll see you at the Masters.

All right. Love you. Alright, love you. Oh man. This is like turning into more than just a joke at this point. She texts me ways to fuck with Brandon every day. She loves this so much.

There's just something about Brandon that everyone has to and I will say if we didn't bring this up on the yak or if you hadn't brought it up on the yak yesterday I might have just taken a random girl who none of you knew right but then as soon as it was on the yak we're talking about it's like okay this is now fully about content yeah what would be the funniest thing to do so yeah I, if you're going with that line of thinking, it would be actually, now that Brandon's not here, let's just get serious, it would be really funny if you did have sex with her.

If you married her. I think you got to get married. Yeah, you got to get married. That would be great. Being Brandon's brother-in-law would be a great story arc. Because he trolls you about your mom all the time. Right. And I always try to stop him, and he's like,

bring up your mom on the show, and I'm like, i'm like this is inappropriate you don't uh so this is a good this is a good payback he was throwing out today that when he goes to philly for wrestlemania he's going to meet up with my mom and he's already been in contact there's oh yes you need to there's zero chance that's true but one thing that's kind of throwing a wrench in it is the fact that nikki smokes was posting pictures with caitlin over the weekend that kind of tamp a wrench in it is the fact that Nikki Smokes was posting pictures with Caitlyn over the weekend. That kind of tampers with the whole arc. Kind of fucked with your head a little bit. The number one pipe. No, it is a rom-com.

It's a rom-com. The bully versus the nice guy. Yeah. Maybe Caitlyn dates Nikki for a while, but you win out in the long run. You're the shoulder to cry on. Yeah. Your friend zone for a little bit, but then before you kiss for the first time, you're like, you know I've been here the whole run. You're the shoulder to cry on. Yeah. You're friend-zoned for a little bit, but then...

And then, like, before you kiss for the first time, you're like, you know I've been here the whole time. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. I'll be the zany best friend

that's like, dude, you gotta go get her back. She's your best friend. You gotta hop on that flight that already took off. You gotta stop him. You gotta stop him somehow, man. If you loved her, you would.

That's the one thing that does always happen in the few rom-coms I've seen is that there's always a bus they've got to catch or there's a plane. Oh, yeah. Also, one thing I'll say about the concert, too, my one critique, is that it does seem like, and I haven't been to many concerts, but it seems like there's always like, all right, it's been fun, guys. We'll see you next time. Thanks for coming out.

And then they leave the stage, and you know they're coming back on for another song. Why do they do that? That's an encore. Yeah, no, I actually agree with you. I agree with you. I think the, like, encores have become too formulaic. Yeah. Like, it should be,

everyone should just be cheering so loud that they have to come back out. Not like we expected. So we'll do a little half clap, and then they to come back out. Not like we expected. So we'll do a little half clap and then they'll come back out. I think that's what they want, right? To raise the hype. Especially when you haven't played your biggest hit yet. We know.

But I want the crowd to have to earn it. Was it one of her biggest hits? Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. Wholeheartedly. Because he's right. The biggest hit was her encore? The biggest hit of this past album and Good For You from the last album she hadn't performed yet.

So we knew. Yeah, she's coming back on stage. Right. So it's like, but the crowd knows that. So they're like, oh, yeah, you'll come back. Just play it all the way through. One more natural. I'm not sure if the 10-year-old girls at Olivia Rodrigo knew she was coming back. They were probably so upset.

She didn't play Give Him Back. Yeah, Get Him Back. Yeah, no. I knew it was coming. Get Him Back was coming. Good For You was coming. But yeah, that was one thing. I just, why'd you. Yeah, no. I knew it was coming. Get Him Back was coming. Good For You was coming. But yeah, that was one thing. I just, why'd you do that?

Right. I don't know if everybody does that at concerts, but I do feel like it's- It's become that way, I think. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. That was just what I wanted to address. Favorite song?

Get Him Back as the grand finale, but then also Love is Embarrassing. She did a whole dance routine that I was not expecting, and that was very, very good. Dance routine. as embarrassing. She did a whole dance routine that I was not expecting and that was very very good. Alright Madeline and Mackenzie are going tonight. Buy them tickets. Because they were very mad at me yesterday. And I saw them I should have done this yesterday. I walked

by them. They were looking at a seat map and they were like 200 bucks too expensive. We're going to get them to this concert. Standing room only I think was somewhere around like 200, 250. Yeah we're going to get him real seats. I'm going to buy him real seats. Okay. That makes me feel better. You want to go with him? No. You're tired. I'm tired. Very, very tired. Also, yeah,

yesterday, I peed next to you in the stall today, and you had the two different streams. I'm going to leave on that. He did. He did. Standing far back, pissing into both urinals Two urinals Thank you guys

And thank you again To Mark and Brandon Tell Brandon That he can come back Alright gotcha Alright thank you He's probably just He's eating gnocchi

In the fucking kitchen I bet Oh yeah We got gnocchi Yeah I could drastically Change the subject If you want

Sure We have the Pirate's personality Guy Oh let's go He's gonna be so nervous Talking to us Yes I could drastically change the subject if you want. Sure. We have the Pirates personality guy on the phone. Oh, let's go. He's going to be so nervous talking to us, Kyle. Yes. Okay.

He's on the phone. All right. What's his name? Saxboy. Saxboy. Saxboy. Can you hear us? How you doing, guys?

Can you hear me? It's Saxboy calling from Pittsburgh. Oh, he's good. Dude. How are you, number 100? You know, this is my first ever phoneer, and can I tell you something? I'm loving it. I'm loving it.

Yeah. All right, so Sax Boy. Yeah. My phoners. You know, it's always like Adam Schefter calling from like an airport or in a car or something, you know? It's kind of like me right now. Yeah. Yeah.

So, Sax Boy, how did you, how long have you been working on this list? How did you come up with the list? We have a million questions. Okay. The list is basically just consuming passively from the sidelines, from the corner, pirates, the Twitter space of the pirates fan base, kind of doing mental notes. And then yesterday I was like, you know what?

Let's put pen to paper. Let's get a list going. It flew off so quick. It was 20, 25 minutes. I got it out there. Wow. So, and then can you talk us through, we have some questions. So Nick was 41.

42. I'm three below the actual pirates. Yeah. Yeah, Nick was 42. He was the W Bush of it. I know that Nick was, you know that Nick always wears the red Pirates cap. He wears the caps around, so that gets kind of the brand out there. Yeah.

He talks about Pokey Reese as like a bit, right? Not as a bit. I love Pokey. Oh, he loves Pokey Reese. He loves him. He loves him. So, you know, it's kind of like it's in that universe. Yeah.

And, you know, they're wheeling. So that's like Pittsburgh Metro, right? Yeah. Probably grew up going to games. A lot. You know, had little fun bets with your friends on the pierogi race. Yeah, actually, fuck you. I should be higher.

Yeah, you played in the All-Star game. I played in the All-Star game. Oh, I was the Steelers. You were in the box. Yeah. I don't think – I mean, it's a tough team to be rooting for this whole time, but I don't think I've ever heard you, like, talk, like, about the Pirates really, but it's just kind of, like, aesthetic-wise.

No, I play it close to the chest because I don't want anybody to see me get so heated in a minute. Yeah, wait. So if he doesn't talk about the Pirates on Twitter but he was 42, what is the rest of the list? Yeah. Oh, they get into it, man. Oh, okay. It's a lot of, like, newspaper people are up there, bloggers. There's Nutsy.

He's a Twitch streamer. Okay. And he does that. It's a whole universe, Pirates Twitter. Because basically it's just no one cares about the Pirates except for, like, these 100 people in Pittsburgh. And so why? And they're very passionate about it.

And they all have 3,000 to 5,000 followers. And it's just this little fun little place. What about Fleming? Why did Frank make the list? He ranked PNC Park as his favorite park in America. So there's a lot to this. He's got a trip scheduled with Jenks coming up. Okay.

So I just figured the engagement from that trip alone is going to kind of, you know, blow the Pirates more than like most of those people will in like a lifetime. Yeah. Then no swag at 92. Yeah. Again, that's kind of like you're, I mean, I don't think I've ever seen you in a Pirates hat, to be honest. He's not a Pirates fan. No, I'm a Mets fan. Yeah.

Is that new? No. No, lifelong. More as a child. Oh, wow. I feel like I'm a pretty big fan of the show. I didn't know that, man. So, yeah, I guess that's, there's my first mistake on the list.

Oh, no. No, that's not a mistake. No, no. I'm easily, I can convert. I'm a Skeens guy. All right. He's a Skeens guy. He's Paul Skeens guy.

This is a rush. This is the first list I've ever been on. Yeah. I get it, Brandon. Yeah. No. It's exciting. So were there any –

I know there was a certain list with a certain number one in the room that kind of was the inspiration of it. I will be honest. Yeah. That's huge. I don't know if you've been listening. A raised banner. Thank you.

I want a banner. Yeah, we should get one. Yeah. I noticed one miss on this list, though. Connor Griffin, he's from Pennsylvania. Connor's from the east side of the state, right? He is. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, yeah. So that would be the reason why he's going up a lot of lists right now yeah lists are fun it's an easy way to you know it is get engagement and have fun are any are any people pissed off at you for their placement on the list i honest i honestly i was I just kind of got to my computer and I, I think people are upset. Oh, uh, some people are like, wow, I'm really sad. I'm not on this list. Um, but I don't know what to say. I don't know what to tell them. I'm sorry. Better luck next. I mean, there's next year. I'll probably do it at the end of the year. Oh, it was number one obvious or were there a handful of candidates in consideration no is there was stump there's uh stay on coke kovacic there's uh duncan it's kind of a king it's gonna it's gonna rotate

it's gonna go up and down yeah i got a little beef here um i follow at 1992 Pirates. He's a very good follow. How is he only 29th? You haven't seen Stump's stuff. Number one is Stump. I do have Stump already. He's not on the beat as much. You know, 1992 takes kind of found footage from, you know, old VHS clips. And it's good, but he's not, you know, he only does like one post a day because he does so much work into those one posts. Well, it's a great list, and we appreciate you calling in.

Do you live in Pittsburgh? Yeah, I just moved back. All right, I'm going to DM you. Let's go to a game this summer. And also, I want to say shout out to Che High. I would also like to go to a game. I think PNC Park is not only the best baseball park in Major League Baseball, I would say it's the best stadium in this country we have, regardless of sport.

The Yak's a pirate show as a whole. Yeah. Is Steven there today? What's up, man? How we doing? Hey, man, do you remember me? I met you at the skee-ball game. Oh, yeah, at the bar in Brooklyn.

Oh, you were there? Yeah, what's up, man? I'm the Che Hive, baby. Let's go. Che, you definitely don't. You were the Che Hive guy that was there. Yeah, of course. This list doesn't sound so simple anymore.

Bill Saxbull. Bill from Brooklyn? Yeah, that's me, baby. Let's go. Wait, so can we get a top 100 Che Hive list? Would love that. I mean, Bill's number one. I've been kind of a little inactive on that,

but I could definitely get that going. Yeah, I would like to see that for next week maybe. Sure. Just give me time and I'll definitely make that. Okay. So Bill is the Che Hive account. He's a real guy. You're the Che Hive account? Oh. Yes. Bill is the Che Hive account. He's a real guy. You're the Che Hive account?

Oh. Yes. You're the Che Hive account. Wait, you come at me sometimes. This leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like you've come at me anytime I've made fun of Stephen Che. Right. Well, probably, yeah.

That makes sense. Okay. Honest. All right. Well, I'd like a top Chahive accounts. No problem. All right, done. Top 100? What are we thinking?

Top 75? Maybe like 250? Yeah. I can definitely do that. Okay. Perfect. All right. 100%.

So we'll get that next week. We'll get the top Chahive accounts. Sounds good. All right. Well, thank you so much, Bill. Yeah, 100%. So we'll get that next week. We'll get the top J-Hive accounts. Sounds good. All right. Well, thank you so much, Bill. Thanks, Bill. See you guys later. All right. See you. What a guy.

Saxboy. Pen to papes. Pen to papes. 42, W. Bush. He's a cool-ass guy. I got to get number one next year. It's addicting, isn't it yeah i love top 100 lists yeah gotta get more out there oh man pen to paper that's great i'm gonna start using that

although i don't really pen to paper a lot yeah but i think it's a metaphor let's make it official yeah pen to paper yeah they're going they're going. They're going. Mackenzie and Mad Dog are going. We're going to find some good tickets, too. You don't want to, like, make them earn it? Never mind. I feel like you could say it, but not say it how you said it. I'll be wrong in a flexion. I think it's time out.

That's it. The cadence. The words were right. The words were, I The words were wrong. I want to make him earn. Does the boss want to make him earn? What could they do for you? Hey, I heard you girls want to go to Olivia Rodrigo.

I scratch your back. Yeah. I need some help installing my desk first. Jesus, KB. By the way, tomorrow, no show tomorrow and Friday because it's the tournament and you can get in on the tournament on DraftKings. The thrill and

excitement of March Mania is here on DraftKings Sportsbook. One of America's top rated sports book apps is giving new customers a shot to earn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. There's a ton of... What's the line in your game tomorrow? One and a half.

One and a half MSU? Yes. Okay. So we're going to be – the tournament kicks off with Brandon. We're going to be streaming from the DraftKings Sportsbook in Wrigleyville. I think all the tables have been spoken for, but I'm sure there will be standing room. Come join us.

We're going to be there all day on Thursday. So go sign up for the DraftKings Sportsbook right now. Five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. North Carolina listeners, don't forget DraftKings Sportsbook is now live in your state. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use code YAK. New customers can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook Use code YAK. New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code YAK.

The crown is yours also today. Only check out Stephen Che's NBA parlay. Stephen is very happy with himself because he's got his picture on the DraftKings Sportsbook. I'm pumped. It's me and JJ Redick. How cool is this? Very cool. Stephen, are you buying a house? Yeah. I'd probably want to keep me and J.J. Redick. How cool is this? Very cool. Steven, are you buying a house?

Yeah, I'd probably want to keep most of that off air. Yeah, okay. But the call went well? Yes. All right, let's go. All right. All the boys are doing well. I feel like Che should have to alert his neighbors that he's moving in.

Yeah. Look at this. Look at that. Look at that. Wow. Steven, you're a celebrity. I'm right next to J.J. Redick. Look at this Look at that Look at that Wow Steven Let's go You're a celebrity I'm right next to JJ Redick

I gotta do better numbies than JJ Don't think you will Go better Hand to paint I do some numbies Steven Che on the up and up And he's so sad with his sling Hey Brendan how you doing

Back I'm getting there We had a great We had a great talk with Mama Too much touching Just for a second You getting there? Like the Ray Allen tweet?

Switching back and forth Okay Don't be fussy I'm not fussy How can we cheer you up, Brandon? I don't need cheering up You want to get you on a list? I'm on a list, I'm not fussy. Don't be fussy. How can we cheer you up, Brandon? I don't need cheering up. Let's just yak. You want to get you on a list?

Yeah. I'm on a list. I'm number one on Big Game Boomers. I think we're all on a list high right now. Yeah. I've been on some lists before. Number one pimps in Barstool. Well, there's this one account that every-

You're number one most fucked sister, right? I'm just going to have to sprint out of this office you and brandon are like good friends yeah man that's why i can do it yeah exactly there's this account uh in south america that every now and then uh tweets out it's uh it's always a 46 46 tweet long thread of the best influencer accounts in South America. And for some reason, at BFW is in their algorithm. So it's me and a bunch of

Brazilian people. Brazilian women. I can never remember how to find it. So TJ, I know I'm not giving you very much information. So you're on a Brazilian butt list. information. You're on a Brazilian butt list. Yeah, I'm on a Brazilian butt list.

I could see how that would happen. Those are the two lists, big game boomers and Brazilian asses. I think we might all be on the Pirates list next year. There was a Brazilian exchange student at my high school when I was 16, and she just changed the whole school, man. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, black guys, white guys, all of them.

We were just coming together and just looking at her. Yeah, she united. Yeah. Yeah? I mean, black guys, white guys, all of them. We were just coming together and just looking at her. Yeah. She united. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was beautiful. Do we ever have, I don't ever remember exchange students. Oh, yeah, we did.

A lot of Europeans. Yeah? Not a lot. Okay. We had one on the soccer team. We had a German named Jan. We had a German named Jan. Same guy?

You were very, you didn't believe that no i knew that okay i had a russian kid named yuraslav no way yuraslav's a strong name strong name and he was a fighter he was a feisty one he fought yeah he was with his fist what if you're a slob though that's not gonna work well hey titus i got a question for you. Today I saw that Dan Dockage got into the Indiana Basketball Hall of Fame. Do you think you might be able to get in that? No, but that's funny you bring that up. As I was driving in, my dad is going to that ceremony, and I think he's going to leave before Dockage gets inducted.

He's going to save my ass a bunch. No, they do have a media wing or something. My mom's in it. My mom is on the board. So we got to get you in? We can- Yeah, let's all get in. Let's all get in.

You guys want in? Yeah. The Yak should start getting on every year. Just getting into random Hall of Fames. My mom votes on it, yeah. So I should- Now that I'm hearing myself say it out loud, yeah, let's just do a little interruption and get me in there.

Let's get in these. Why not? Let's get in all these Hall of Fames. You got a pity invite to the Healing Park Athletics Hall of Fame. Right. Pity invite. Pity invite. Because somebody called you and was like,

just so people leave me alone about it. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, I felt bad. The AD just gave me an invite and i kind of said and you know it's okay and then he never responded do you guys think there'll ever be a barstool museum because we found we were hank is being a real dick today we have a room that no one knew about that was just me and pft's pile that we moved from new york wait you have there's

a where is it is that where the air mattress my mattress. No, it's an empty room across the PMT studio. And he, Hank decided today of all days that he's going to empty it. And PFT found my notes for like every PMT from the last like eight years. Wow. Hall of Fame material. Yeah. Definitely. If we did a Barstool Hall of Fame.

I actually pitched that to Gaz and Jen Simons like four years ago. A Barstool Hall of Fame? Yes. Or a museum? Where would it be? Hall of Fame. I actually pitched that to Gaz and Jen Simons like four years ago. A Barstool Hall of Fame? Yes. Or a museum? Where would it be? Hall of Fame. It would probably be in here. Oh, in Milton.

That would be good. Have a merch store attached to it. Great. It would be funny just seeing the random items that we had in there. Mantis's flashlight. That thing needs to be studied by science. The white. Don't say it.

Don't say the mushroom. Oh, I was going to say the white outfit that Brandon was wearing when he pushed Devlin. Oh, wow. Which is still a very underrated part of that whole thing. I threw that away, I think. It's just that you were wearing a milkman's outfit. Yeah, I chunked that out.

In your lowest moment, you were dressed like a milkman's outfit. Yeah, I chumped that out. In your lowest moment, you were dressed like a milkman. That's like the last thing I would want to be dressed as at Rock Bottom. When you're getting angry at Rock Bottom. I never noticed that before. Yeah. What? Yeah.

I lost a game to A&M and that was the bet that year I had to dress like an A&M cheerleader and they dressed like milkmen I've seen that a million times it's like one of those videos where a bear goes across it's like big titties you know those videos

how long did you work at bar that was I was about six months in that was October of 19. Yeah. Yeah, because you weren't really in the old office. You went to it, but you never started. Y'all moved into the new office, and then I showed up the next week. Right. What do you remember about your first six months? Did you hit the ground running?

Did you have a – Yeah, I think I did. I ran right into everything. Then, of course, that happened. That probably dominated my first six months. You didn't ease into it? You felt comfortable right away? I felt pretty comfortable, yeah.

I tried to get on as many shows as possible. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. There's your advice. Dan, what Hall of Fame are you most likely to do?

My five-year anniversary is coming up. Podcasting? Yeah. Right next to my birthday. Will there be a podcasting Hall of Fame? I don't know. Is there one?

There might be one. It's just going to be some internet page on awful announcing or something. Five years. Pretty big deal. We're next to the

RV Hall of Fame here in Chicago. I was just a poor guy in Mississippi. Out east a little bit. RV Hall of Fame. I believe so. RV and Camping

Hall of Fame. There's a mustard Hall of Fame. I believe so. RV and Camping Hall of Fame. There's a Mustard Hall of Fame. Big fucking building. Yeah, from Madison. Mustard Hall of Fame. Can you look up the Mustard Hall of Fame? I'd like to go to that. Would have been very easy.

What is this? Is this the RV? No, it's Podcast Hall of Fame. Who the fuck are these people? No, I'm here. Oh, I mean, Adam Carolla we know. I hate all of you. Michael Butler.

Intense. That's it? There's eight people in the... That is the perfect face for a rock and roll geek show. Of course, of course. Okay. They have a school of podcasts. An award show?

Whatever, I'm here now. What's wrong? Brandon's been going on a little monologue. What was the monologue about? Who knows? Don't worry about it. Just everybody. Look at Danny Pena.

Danny Pena. Yeah, this... All right. I actually... Oh, no. I don't think I could... Yeah, you want to be... The partners make it so that I probably wouldn't be getting into this Hall of Fame.

Yeah. The Bad Boy Podcasters Hall of Fame? We should just do a Bad Boy's Hall of Fame. Yeah. Joe Dumars. You think? Connor Griffin. Yeah.

First ballot. He's been a bad boy. Yeah. Oh, nice. Wait, what's MH? Manufactured housing, of course. I love it. Yeah, it's pretty close.

I almost swung by we should go is this dudes or the actual RVs yeah I'm curious yeah I don't know man is it the RVs themselves yeah who the fuck knows $20 admission seems way too expensive

they have a hall of fame dinner I need to get to that it has to be in an RV, right? Yeah. This better not be a building. Yeah, what the fuck? Let's call. What's in the gift shop? It's closed on Wednesdays.

Closed on Wednesdays. Typical, typical. Oh, okay. Can you look up Mustard Hall of Fame? It's in a nice building. We gotta get out there. The tab is Hall of Fame? It's in a nice building. We got to get out there. The tab is Hall of Fame slash dinner. We might have to buy tickets to that. Is it in the budget?

Is this the one in Wisconsin? Yeah. Middleton, Wisconsin. No. Middleton, Wisconsin, yeah. Mustard Hall of Fame probably rocks. Nah. You don't think so?

I was just MFing mustard the other day. No way. I don't think it's good. just MF and mustard the other day. No way. I don't think it's good. What? Mustard's great. Mustard's awesome. Bottom tier. How'd you do that? No, not bottom tier. Honey mustard? Not bottom tier. It's not S or

A tier. No way. Get the condiments up. Get the condiments up. No one's seeking out mustard. I love it. When was the last time you put Poupon on a dog? It's not bottom tier.

It cannot be bottom tier. I'm with you, Kyle. It's got great flavor. It's mercenary. Yeah, that's the whole point. It's potent. Any Chipotle-laced. Oh, this is a lot.

Man. I like salsa on there. There's so many. Peanut butter as a condiment? Get Nutella. Nutella can't be there. Nutella's ass. Hummus as a condiment? Get Nutella. Nutella can't be there. Nutella's ass. Hummus is a condiment?

That's not right. All right. I mean, let's just not do this. Let's all man together. Let's not do this. Man together. Don't do it. Just throw us.

Everybody puts ranch at the S tier. Just throw us. Ranch is S, and then we'll put ketchup and mustard at S. No. That's all we're going to do. Let's just see. I just want to see what it looks like. Oh, Red hot is ass

No That is so boring Red hot is ass Sweet baby rays TJ What's that? TJ's in business for himself Syrup No no no

Put mustard in A just to see what it looks like It won't look right Look at that Yeah that looks right That's not S for us. Put mustard in A just to see what it looks like. It won't look right. Mayonnaise also. Look at that. Yeah, that looks right. No. If you don't get that goddamn Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce,

that's a bottom tier barbecue sauce. There are no other barbecue sauces on there. Oh, A1 is an S. No. Yes. No, it's lower. A1 is so good. Sriracha is up there. If he doesn't put ranch in S.

Ranch is mid. Ranch is in S. Fluff is in A. Ranch is definitely not S. Is blue cheese in here? Fluff is in A. Fluff? Yeah.

Is in A. Hershey's strawberry syrup. Wait a minute. I got time out. I got time out. I'll take mayo over mustard. There's condiments here and there's dips here. Dips are not condiments.

This is the ultimate condiment dip and sauce ranking tier list. Dip has its own rankings. Brandon, you get a big bag of Chick-fil-A. Yeah. You're not getting mustard. Not on Chick-fil-A sandwiches. But if I get a big bag of hot dogs, I need mustard.

That's one specific item. Or you get a big bag of hot dogs. Where are you getting a big bag of hot dogs? I like a big bag of hot dogs, I need mustard. That's one specific item. Or you get a big bag of hot dogs. Where are you getting a big bag of hot dogs? I like a big bag of hot dogs. Why are people with a hot dog like, my choices are ketchup or mustard, and that's it? Why not put barbecue sauce? I put all kinds of stuff on a hot dog.

That's facts. Maybe some chips. But mustard is very key to a hot dog. I also get mustard on my burgers. Grilled onions, the best on a hot dog. My burgers are mayonnaise and mustard only. I don't like ketchup on my burger. Ohilled onions the best on a hot dog. My burgers are mayonnaise and mustard only. I don't like ketchup on my burger. Oh, I don't really like I just go

ketchup. I'll do barbecue over mustard on a burger. Any day. Mayonnaise all the way. Well, that's just McDonald's secret sauce. Mayonnaise goes in everything. What is that? Russian dressing? Yeah. I just think mustard is.

Once I figured that out, I was like, holy shit. That's every- I can do that? Yeah. I need my mayo discreetly mixed in with other things. You don't even know it. I agree with you. I agree with you.

Thank you. Yeah, I agree. Any mayo mixed in with shit? Not on a Jimmy John's. We can talk all fair and more about comedy. I feel like we're aligned. We are. With this, yeah.

BLT? Mayo. Load the mayo. Yeah. Gotta have this, yeah. BLT? Mayo. Load the mayo. Yeah. Gotta have the mayo on the BLT, right? I don't eat BLTs. What do you mean? I think I'm some sort of hippie.

Oh, because you, oh, the lettuce. I don't eat, I don't eat. It's the lettuce. Yeah, I don't eat L or T. I'm not a BLT guy. That's a bacon sandwich. I eat because lettuce and tomato are automatically going to go on the sandwich. You're eating a bacon sandwich. And it's fucking amazing. Wait, that's a bacon sandwich. Lettuce and tomato are automatically going to go on the sandwich. You're eating a bacon sandwich.

And it's fucking amazing. Wait, that's a really good point. You don't say LT for other sandwiches. I'm going to do a cheeseburger LT. Exactly. I'm going to do a turkey club LT. Ooh, sounds good. Well, there are turkey BLTs, aren't there?

Yeah, but that's a turkey club. In and out, don't they say lto it's a restaurant slang to say lto for sure what's lto lettuce tomato onion got it yeah that's like spk what's that bacon egg and cheese salt pepper ketchup that's that's less that's that's too much spk you said btk is buying torture kill's right. I don't know if anyone... What about BBW? Needed to know that. Where did BTK go to school? Zah? Zah?

Kansas? State? He went to Kansas State. I don't know. Wichita. What's that music group you like? Wait, did he go to Kansas State? That's B4-4.

Sorry. Did... But also you could be confusing him with BB Mac. Who? BTK? No. Guy in prison? Dennis Rader, right?

That's his name? Yeah. I know. What was Capote all up in on? PTK? No. Dennis Rader, right? That's his name? Yeah. I know. What was Capote all up in on? Capote? In True Blood. Yeah. In Cold Blood. But what was that family? Oh, no. We is still alive. No, it's a 2005. They were killed by two people. He's still alive.

This guy is the dumbest of dumb. Wichita State. They went to Wichita State. Wait, is this the guy that shows up on, it's a meme, like this girl had a, her dad ended up being a BTK killer. He got caught because he was playing cat and mouse with the cops. Correct. And he asked the cops, can you trace where a floppy disk is from? Yeah.

And they said no. And he's like, okay. And then he sent in a floppy disk. And they're like, oh. They traced it. and then once he got caught he was like heartbroken with the cops and he's like why would you do that to me and they're like because we're trying to catch kind of a good that's true yeah that's how he got caught he asked the cops he was like yeah if i send this he was getting caught will you be able to figure it like like will you be able to figure it out and they're like no you're good He was communicating with the cops, like, the whole time.

Yeah, and they found the metadata from, like, a church, like, minutes meeting that he had sent out. Yeah. And they were like, oh, it's this guy. They immediately narrowed it down to, like, six guys. Yeah. They figured out it was him. The guy who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan, John Hinckley. Oh, yeah.

He is a musician now. Yeah. His Twitter is real sad because he'll announce shows. Yeah. And the venues will look him up, and then he just tweets that the show's canceled yeah yeah it's really sad we should go to a john hinkley show yeah you should have him here yeah let's do a lot john hinkley live at barstool chicago yeah we got more people i got a tour here oh a little tour oh. We got the... What do we got? Hello, everyone.

Good to see you. Hi, guys. Like your shoes? Hey, how we doing? Hello, ma'am. You guys like mustard? Yep. All right.

You don't care to be here. I would love to be a tour guide in another life. It brings me back to school field trips when I see that. You should be the tour guide here. I would love that. You tour guide in another life. It brings me back to school field trips when I see that. You should be the tour guide here. I would love that. You'd have to walk around. I used to love that at the New York office. I would bring randoms in sometimes.

Yeah, you did. I was told to not do that anymore. Yeah. Understandable. By the way, last thing I'll say about BTK. Mindhunter fucked up by not putting out a second season. Well, no. Yeah, they stopped the show

it was a great show it was about BTK they like foreshadow him it was about the guys who created like the FCI basically like coined serial killer and then it's like about all the famous serial killers and like there's flashbacks

that it's like the show will eventually end with btk but the show didn't get picked up yeah damn you even just watch it's a great show i think there's two seasons and it was based off real serial it was yes all real serial killers i think i'm gonna give that a re-watch soon yeah are there any out there right now what serial killers yeah i mean the happy face guy. The smiley face. Smiley face. Yeah, that's a big one.

Who is this? Chicago, is he not? Did they ever get the Indiana guy on a hike? You know what I'm talking about? Oh, when did we talk about that? Jordan Berry was from that town, right? Maybe. They did get him.

They did. Yes. I don't know this one. It was the two girls that got killed, and they had like a cell phone recording or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They got him. And they finally found him because he was working at like the local cell.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. He was working in the area. He had like developed their film or something like that. Or something creepy. That was a creepy, creepy one. Yeah. Yeah.

Zero kill. Did any of you guys see the little girls at an arcade in Ohio and you see like the the potential like kidnappers behind them on camera oh no creepy don't want to see that I do not want to see that Jesus that freaks me out I don't like that you know I don't like this subject can we go yeah who brought this shit up mayonnaise we're talking about acronyms and someone just said it. How did we get here? Wait, how did we get here? Oh, the acronym.

What's he tearing now? Garlic. TJ, bump that up to S+. Don't be afraid. What is this? What is that? That's allowed? This is just condiments. No, that garlic makes you stink the rest of the time.

So what? Just go ahead and put ranch in this here. I'm willing to punt future kisses for that cup of garlic. I mean, peanut butter is S tier if you're calling it a condiment. Peanut butter is up there. But if you use it as a condiment, that means what? You're putting it on a burger? That would work.

Delicious. It would work. Fuck off. No, you have never had peanut butter on a burger? Yeah. That would work. Delicious. It would work. Fuck off. No, you have never had peanut butter on your burger? I have. Inside the blue suede at fucking Undo's.

They're not Undo's. Fucking Undo's, bro. PJ's. PJ's. Fucking Undo's. Fucking Undo's. Undo's, cuz. Goddamn Undo's.

Sorry, I'm Pittsburgh media. So we won't do the high noon ad. We do have a special thing that's arriving at the office today. I can tell them to come out if we want. Tell him to come out? A thing? Him or her bringing the thing. Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon.

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to find the El Prez pack nearest you. Boom. They're bringing it out. What could this be? Bringing it out. I love all these surprises. This one is fucking awesome. I told Titus about it. Trampoline? Oh, I know what it out. What could this be? Bringing it out. I love all these surprises. This one is fucking awesome. I told Titus about it.

Trampoline? Oh, I know what it is. Yeah. A lot of loose lips around here. Oh, I think I know what it is. That's in your family. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

I might have been too far. Caitlyn Cummings. That's what you're going to say right now? Too much. That was too much. Too much. That was too much. I just got revolted. I got revolted. It's over the line, really. You got revolted. I got revolt much. I just got revolted.

I got revolted. You laughed first. I did. Everybody laughed. I was nervous laughing. I don't know. I'm afraid of what's to come. I thought he was talking about the lips on your face.

He was talking about pussy lips. No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. No. I didn't even realize. That's why I got revolted. That's fucked up. That's why I got revolted. That's fucked up. That's why I got fucked up.

I would never. You're actually the one that said pussy lips. Nope, I know. That's what got me revolted. Wrong. Around the room, though. Around the room. Kate laughed.

Mark laughed. I laughed. Kyle laughed. I laughed at lips. Lips. Yeah, lips. Lips like kissing. Yeah.

I wasn't even thinking about Connor Griffin stretching. We're supposed to be family. We're supposed to be family. We are. That was the last thing on his freaking mind, dude. It wasn't thinking at all. Goddamn, Brandon, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm actually mad at you. You're being disrespectful.

Yeah, you are. But what? But what? mind out of the gutter. I'm actually mad at you. You're being disrespectful. Yeah, you are. But what? But what? I wasn't even thinking about Connor Griffin's ting-tong. Oh, God. Have it. What are you going to do, man? Yeah, what are you going to do, man?

Yeah, what are you going to do? Nothing. You going to beat our ass? No, I told you. He's one. You trying to fight us? He's my one-one. He's one-one.

We should have a fight day. Oh, yeah. Just everyone goes through a gauntlet of. A fight club? Yeah. We should add chastity belt to the wheel. Oh, actually, we should spin our wheel. We should spin our wheel.

Because we got problems. We got problems. We got to spin it early because we got problems. Did you see yesterday? Oh, yeah. Did you spin it yesterday? Yeah. Yeah.

And it landed on name, didn't it? And then we had to do that first thing today. Oh, here it comes. Look at this. Yeah. Look at this today oh here it comes look at this yeah look at this what is it look at this i have no idea what the hell that is what the fuck i think i know exactly exactly what it is oh the gun yes oh the gun basketball gun rebound gun yeah nice this fucking rocks oh it, it has Barstool on it, too. Yeah. Whoa. Hell yes.

This is ten times cooler than I even thought. Yeah, sweet. What's your name? Jake. Jake, come sit down for a sec. All right. So you work for The Gun. Yep, The Gun.

Shoot Away, The Gun. Now, you guys, there's's multiple brands but you guys have been doing this for a long time yeah since 1982 holy shit yeah john joseph is our owner um so he he came up with this in his garage um and uh he took it to the first basketball camp and uh everybody laughed at him they were like there's no way this is going to be successful and and he went back and he kept working at it and then john calipari was the first guy who bought one. And then from there, it just kind of took off. So now we've sold over 36,000.

We just did the math. We've sold 3,625 guns to Division I schools. So by that math, that's an average of like 11 guns per school. We've got seven schools, man. Which is pretty cool. So, yeah, it's an average of like 11 guns per school. We've got seven schools, man. Which is pretty cool. So, yeah, it's basically a basketball shooting machine. It allows you to maximize your shots and your reps. You can program any shooting workout you want to do on there.

Incredible. You can set different number of spots, shots, challenges, time, whatever. So we're going to get you guys all set up with the facility model. So you'll have all that on the back end to allow you guys to really utilize all that and each of you can create accounts. You can have leaderboards, challenges, everything like that. So we're really excited to be partnering with you guys.

Really awesome. This is the coolest thing that ever happened to me. Now, Jake, tell us how we're dumb. We're really dumb. Yeah. What's the most likely way we break this? There's no way to break it. That sounds like a dare.

That sounds like a dare. What if we drop it? Get up there and break it. Get up there and break it now. He can break anything. What if a non-basketball item goes through the gun? Like a party sub. Or a human being.

Yeah, I mean, definitely would not recommend that. Pop in there. Yeah, I mean, I'm close by, so if anything goes wrong, human being yeah i mean definitely would not recommend that um but i've been there uh yeah i mean i'm close by so if anything goes wrong just call me and i'll come fix it could it shoot out a man uh probably not um it could injure a man yeah that was good you covered yourself there friend what were you just doing he wants he wants to put me through that's what he was doing that's what he was doing Brandon what the fuck no no no

that's the worst thing that's been said on this show today by far this will be remembered as the Brandon Walker went too far I didn't say it pointed at him John Diebler was your college teammate. He is from Upper Sandusky, Ohio, which is where our company is based out of.

Oh, I didn't know that. Vice President Jared Nelson, he said he went to the Kentucky Derby with you. He did, yeah. So that's our vice president. Wow, I didn't know all this. Yeah, so we're still there. We're still in Upper Sandusky, Ohio. Oh, that's awesome.

I'm out of Chicago. But yeah, he told me to bring that up to you. Well, I'm glad you did. I'm so fired up about that. I obviously have a great familiarity with this product, and I'm very excited to have it here. This is the best thing that you've ever done for me, Dan. Yeah, this is incredible.

Can I ask a slightly uncomfortable question? God damn it. What? You don't know what I'm going to ask. So you're based out of Sandusky. That Penn State shit didn't do well for that town. So upper Sandusky. Okay.

Yeah. You had to worry about lower. Technically our shop's in Nevada, Ohio. Okay. All right. I've been to Sandusky. What's the point? Well, upper Sandusky.

Upper. All different points. Not even close to Sandusky. Actually south of Sandusky. Not even close. Upper Sandusky is south of Sandusky. And different points. Not even close to Sandusky. Actually, south of Sandusky. Not even close. Upper Sandusky is south of Sandusky. And it's not even close. It's BFE Ohio.

It's middle of nowhere. I wonder. Never mind. Wait, BFE? Bonfalk, Egypt. Oh. Come on. I like it.

Well, this is awesome. Yeah, I'm excited. I want you guys to get out there. Yeah, you want to fire it up? Let's do it. All right. Let's do it. Oh, yeah.

Go ahead, Titus. Yeah, Titus. Yeah, Titus. Titus is giddy. Che's out of a job. Yeah. I've been in here for a week and I'm obsolete. The machines have won.

Oh, Facility's up on a ladder. Nah, he's just doing his job. Just doing his job. Good job, boys. He collapsed immediately. He collapsed so he could just doing his job. Just doing his job. Oh, good job, boys. Everything they did. He collapsed immediately. No, he collapsed so he could catch the right one. Just doing his job.

Oh, my God. You have to really shoot it high. I love Fasoli on the ladder, spider holding the camera, not filming anything. He's doing his job. It helps you. You should shoot it high. Yeah, with your arc, yeah.

I just didn't expect it to be that way this is i can't wait incredible brandon we're gonna just do this every morning i know every morning yeah every fucking morning whoever closes up needs to put that in position for us well tightest can't shoot it does look really high Well, Titus can't shoot. It does look really high. Is it going to fire out to him? Oh.

Or maybe they don't have it set on fire out. Oh, and it can suck down a bunch of balls. Titus! Can Titus shoot? What do you want, four between each throw? Yeah, that's fine. Four seconds? Four.

Four beats. How long is a beat? Oh, it – Yeah, it just hits it out for you, so you don't have to rebound. Look at that. It's a perfect throw. Oh, this is so sick. I want to try it.

I want to try it. What could we shoot in there that would be the funniest? Like a rotisserie chicken? Maybe a bunch of mousetraps? Something that flies through the air solid but would shoot back out liquid. Titus, you're hot. Thanks, man. Pause.

Oh, God. Oh, no. There we go. Based on yesterday's events, this wasn't the type of gun I expected to show up at the office. Yeah. Yeah. Now, can you make it shoot out in different directions? Brent, I can do the threes in an hour challenge.

Yeah. We just need a counter. Okay, they're making it go fast now. That's going to count. I'm sure it will. There's a counter? Okay, they're making it go fast now. That's going to count. I'm sure it will. There's a counter? Oh, I didn't know that. It knows how many it goes in?

Oh. Yeah. Oh. That's a good pace. That's a little quick. I'd be nervous. Oh, wow. Look at this.

Oh, he's... I've never seen one that had that on it. Big guy's got a tight bucket. Oh, he had three or four in a row there. I got you, I got you. Alright, so a little quicker now. Two seconds. This thing is incredible.

I'm mesmerized. I mean, this is like... I'm gonna get in great shape. Just shooting shots all morning? Yeah. Brandon. Yeah, I know. This is literally changing our lives.

Game changer. I don't think he realizes it's changing our lives. This is mesmerizing. It is. This might be the best day ever. Look at Reese. I'll tell you what. If my kids don't like basketball, I'm going to be so mad. Wait, what?

What's he saying? Five spots? It can shoot them sideways. That's what I was wondering if it did, if it can go more than just straight. Yeah, does he do it can go somewhere. Well, how's it going to? Yeah, does he do it manually? Yeah. No, he's typing in a little program thingy, and it's going to just do it, I think.

This is better than the golf simulator. Maybe. Did you guys see that dude on TikTok that hits like 40 in a row? Yeah. That's crazy. Six shooter. Six shooter, yeah. Oh, look, it does turn around oh

It's like a little robot Exactly what it is one What a cool toy crispy All right, I can shoot that off the backboard? Alright, Titus can shoot. High off the back? Short goes right in. Oh, and it just... Oh my god. This is sick.

Wow. I don't want to jinx it, but... Oh my god. Holy fuck. Oh, and that's right. It has the counter on the rim, so it'll keep score. He's made 10 in a row.

Yes. He's really good at basketball. Frantic. No, we were all saying that. Nobody said it fully. What was he saying? But you. This is so sweet.

Oh my god, Mark. Yeah, he's really good at basketball. He makes it look so easy. When Titus hit the first one, Nick was like, Titus, you're hot. Yeah. You're hot. It wasn't the first one. You can't be hot with one.

All right, come on. Jesus. Oh, my God. Yeah. Somebody send Kyle this clip. Dang. So he's about. Yeah, I could watch this all day.

He made 21 of 25. Shoosh. 21. Well, the machine's probably right. Okay. This is incredible. That's crazy. Thank you, Jake.

Yeah. It's literally the best thing that's ever happened to me. And Titus. And you, Brandon. Game changer. It's the greatest thing. It's the greatest day ever. We now have our own golf simulator.

Yeah, yeah. The golf simulator yeah yeah like the golf simulator guys have had have had their time now we have ours thanks for jinxing me brandon will there be issues everybody was talking about like claiming and territory that was an issue with the golf but this one should yeah maybe we should get some keys made it's just me and you you've included me on the thing. By the way, I saw on the screen it said that was your profile, so you're welcome for that.

Oh, nice. It keeps, like, your career stacked. I'd never shoot on that. Yeah. Well, this is the coolest thing ever. Yeah. Rico's back in. What?

Oh, yeah, Dave just texted me. So he's changed his mind. He's unbanning him. But he's... Yeah, he's going to be punished. I actually think, I just texted Dave, I think that on Saturday or Friday, we should do a picture in a picture, and he can't come watch the game until he has 20 free throws in a row. Oh, that's awesome.

And he has the gun now, so literally no one will be out here with him. That's awesome. Yeah, that's perfect. I think you got it. Yeah, Rico has to be involved somehow. I don't think Rico's sitting at home. That's not like funny. Serves anybody.

It's not really funny. Did you see he screwed up the New Mexico player? I saw that. No, I didn't. We're losing fans in New Mexico. I saw that. This guy George called in from New Mexico player. I saw that. We're losing fans in New Mexico. This guy George called in from New Mexico. He said that JT Toppin was Obi Toppin's younger brother.

No relation. He is. Is that what his fuck up was? Well, he just said a guy who is not related to Obi Toppin is his younger brother. I thought he messed up that he was still in college. No.

JT Toppin has no relation. Oh. Yeah. And the guy George called in, and I think we're going to lose some New Mexico fans. Let's put Rico in the gun. I feel like I don't. Well, we had a guy George call in from New Mexico.

I believe, and that's horrible. I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. It's a really bad thing. We're huge in New Mexico. Sorry if you guys already brought this idea up, but I had someone suggest to me that the chat just tells Rico what's going on in all the games.

Oh, I like that. Rico has to sit there in front of the board. Yeah, the chat. Michelle Obama triple doubles. Play the first five seconds of that clip. See? Hey, guys. It's George from New Mexico. I was calling

because I'm pumped up about my Lobos playing in the tournament. George is fired up. He's fired up. Sounds very angry. What's the third biggest city in New Mexico behind Albuquerque and Santa Fe? No, Las Cruces is second. Los Alamos.

Really? New Mexico City? Rio Rancho, maybe. Which one of the top two that I said are not in the top two? Albuquerque or Santa Fe? Albuquerque is one. I think Las Cruces is two. Yeah.

Rio Rancho, three. I don't know. Keep going. Farmington. Six. Roswell. Five. Santa Fe.

Four. I think that should do it. I think you got it. Yeah. Yeah. Go for seven. That's an easy one. Yeah.

Take a shot at seven. Take a shot at seven. Take a shot at seven? 39,782 people. That's pretty low. What does it begin with? H. I don't know. Hobbes.

Never heard of it. Hmm. Oh, yeah. Hobbs. Never heard of it. Hmm. Oh, yeah. Hobbs. Wow, that's a big Hobbs. Albuquerque's pretty big. Let's get him a pro team. A lot of people live in New Mexico, huh?

No, it's in the bottom five for population, right? Our bottom. You ever been? Where's New Mexico State? What town is that in? Las Cruces. That's in las cruces that's in las cruces there's a clemson fan on a message board who said that he was like i stayed up all night watching every game of new mexico state this year and like gave t keys to the game

they're playing basketball yeah they're playing new mexico they're both in it no no you just watched the wrong team. That's incredible. It was like, here's my thoughts. It's like, this should be an easy dub. They were like 13 and 19. New Mexico State. How do you fuck that? I don't know.

What was he? New Mexico still play at the Pit? Yep. Oh, such a great fucking name for a place. One of the handflips. They used to host a national championship, didn't they? We see a picture of the Pit. Oh, remember they used to do the... Yeah, they used to do the um yeah they're rolling up the rolling up the that is why leonard's done it yeah i think that's true this year somebody did it yeah

can you find that rolling up the yeah that came back like this year i think or last year that has anyone done it that somebody did it i thought that was unlv that probably is unlv no it's the pit, I think. Where'd Kawhi Leonard go? San Diego State. He wouldn't have played at either one of them. Okay. No, but I think San Diego State might be where they do it.

Can you find it for us, TJ? It's an addicting game. I think it's the pit. It might be. Yeah, because the pit's down in the hole. Pit is just a great name for a college. To roll a ball up the ramp at the pit. You have to get it all the way up.

The rumor is only Kawe Leonard and Paul George have done it. Kawe Leonard. Wait. So is it San Diego State is also the Pitt? No, no, no. This is New Mexico. Oh, okay. UNLV posted this video when they were at New Mexico.

Oh, gosh. What's so... Why would you bounce. What's so... Why would you bounce? What's so hard about it? I think it's just way farther than you... There's no way those are the only two guys that have ever done it. And two very notable NBA All-Stars are the only two guys.

I don't know. This guy just did it. This directly correlates to NBA talent. How can I make it? These guys are in peak. Oh. Yeah, it doesn't seem that hard. And that's going to be... He should be first in peak. Oh. Yeah, it doesn't seem that hard. And that's going to be – he should be first overall pick.

Yeah. Yeah, all right. That wasn't that hard. He did it too. It doesn't look that hard. Do you guys think you could do it? Yes. This makes me miss being on a basketball team so much, though.

Like this is the kind of shit that I get nostalgic for is going back to – Rolling it up at the – Rolling a ball. The shoot around, we're just like rolling the ball up. You used to be so good at rolling it up. Talking shit to each other about the best roller. I think to rolling a ball. The shoot around, we're just like rolling the ball up. You used to be so good at rolling it up. Talking shit to each other about the best

roller. I think that's a sandwich. Can I get some lettuce? Oh, man. This is awesome. That is so funny.

Watch that again. That's awesome. Lettuce. It's got to. Watch that again. That's the best thing ever. That's awesome. Lettuce. It's got to be the third time he's said that. Can I get some lettuce? Oh, that was great. Kyle, your dad was real horny at 6.30 in the morning. Oh, no.

That was too far. What did he say? He horny replied to Angel Reese. Oh, no. Yeah, it was too much. Did you talk to him? I didn't even know. Not even bringing that up.

My bad. All right. He's independent. All right. So it says, Angel Reese said, like, I know I'm fine. It seemed to have an appeal to some, but I'm literally 21, and you're all doing this BS when I would never. Doug Winoy said, no, you have the real appeal, girl.

Personally, I love them big and thick, and I'm a white boy. As you turn to me, I'm not afraid of my girl roughing me up like a heavy bag. I take a chest pass or even a surprise bounce pass into my rooster for you any time. Stay real. Stay real. Stay real. He had like five thousand fist pumps. The quotes are all, I think, black dudes.

What this? Stay real. I love how he spelled chest. Chest. Stay real is such a great ending. Ending it with stay real. And he called his dick his rooster. What's he doing at 539?

Is he in bed? Is he drinking coffee? Just fine. He's training for a Spartan run. Oh, so adrenaline. Get your ass back, Doug. And then he quoted them, need to feed my back. Come on.

Come on, Doug. Wild one for that. Oh, fuck. A little much from Doug. A little much. He goes hard sometimes. Yeah, he does. He's unhirable.

He's gone too far. All right, TJ. Should we spin our wheel? Because we got a problem. I mean, we have to get a wheel reset at some point, right? Guys? Right? Anyone?

Yeah, it's right here. Time is now. It's coming. Oh. Yeah. Name. All right. We just can't

Time to go to sleep We're stuck in this forever Take off Yeah Take off Mook and Nick Yeah Because we just did theirs Oh we did

Yes We did mine Oh yeah yours too Do you remember what yours are Brandon? Yeah Kate have you added one? Do you know one? Did theirs. Oh, yes. We did mine. Oh, yeah, yours too. Do you remember what yours are, Brandon? Yeah. Kate, have you added one? Do you know one?

All right, take off Kate's. I think we did mine already. I guess we did mine. We have to do someone's. I have no idea what mine are. I think mine's one. What? I only have one thing. Does everybody still have a Wii?

Oh, no. Well, this is going to be fun. Yeah, this is actually fun. We all get to hang out. What is it? Bowling, right? I think this might be a bad one. I'm actually not sure I can participate in this.

Oh, perfect. Awesome, Chase. Good stuff. Well, fuck us. I don't know. Whatever it was, I wrote down Suicide Eliminator. So that's running? Yeah.

We all run until... What is it? It's doing suicides until there's one person left. I would just quit. Yeah, I'll quit. Yeah, that's okay. I kind of want to win. Wait, no, we have to do it.

No, you can't quit. If you win, you're out. What do you mean? If you win, you're out. Yeah. That's correct. Oh, I see. If you win, you're out. What do you mean? If you win, you're out. Yeah. That's correct. Oh, I see. Okay.

Okay. Oh, that sucks. Kate, get ready to run. Let's do it. No. All right. Well, we got to do it. No.

We're going to do it. I'll have to run. God damn. That's why I made a lot of words there. Wait, Steven, you have to do it. Why can't you do this? Steven, you have to do it. Yeah, you have to do it. I can a lot of words there. Wait, Stephen, you aren't... Why can't you do this? Stephen, you have to do it. I can't really run.

That's crazy. You lose, brother. You gotta wait till he's healthy. Yeah, you gotta wait till you're healthy. And Kate's healthy. Do another one. Let's get rid of name wheel. Let me give it a shot.

Well, it's only a problem right now. Yeah. Alright, let me see if I can actually do it. I'll be 100% honest. You can't 100% do it. He definitely can't do it. There's no way he can do it. Suicide Eliminator.

All right, well. Sounds so badass. When we finally get a wheel reset. But it actually just sucks. We've got to build some more name wheels. Yeah, everyone come with a new name wheel that's fun. He's not running. I don't want to point fingers, but roll up, roll up, roll up was fun.

Yeah. He says no. It needs to be something that will add to the show. Okay. All right, let's. I don't think us doing cardio is. I mean, we have three days off. The other ones I have.

Brandon has Mario Kart 64 tournament. I'm sorry. Remember, I replaced it with accents oh yeah what is that accents accent wheel everybody gets an accent oh for the rest of the show and then i had nick i had roll up roll up roll up i had facetime your aunt those are the other ones that i had okay so all right we need to rebuild name yeah we need to rebuild every time we say we need to rebuild it i know but we need to do it we have three days off we got to rebuild it. Well, every time we say we need to rebuild it. I know, but we need to do it. We have three days off. We got to rebuild Name Wheel. Yeah.

Everyone come with one thing that would be fun to do on the show. All right. And Shane needs to come up with a better replacement. A fun thing. Can I change mine in real time? Yeah. Can we buy the Third Eye Blind tickets now? We already bought Olivia Rodrigo tickets today.

I haven't bought them. We? Yeah. It's like me and Titus bought those yesterday. Yeah. No, Jay, we're going to do the suicides when you're healthy. Okay. You have to be healthy.

That's fair. And then we'll revamp Name Wheel. We all have to just come up with something that's fun that you can do right away. All right. No, no, no. But it's Name Wheel, right? So everybody should bring three things. No, because it's going to be hard to get three things.

If we write it down and- I would rather make one good thing than three shit. But we definitely need to document them so TJ's not just guessing every time he reads one of our- Correct. And that also makes it easier if everyone has one thing you should be able to remember it. Like, I remember roll up, roll up, roll up. Okay. All right.

I have mine. Brandon, do you know any songs, word for word? Yeah. Em. All right. I have mine. Brandon, do you know any songs, word for word? Yeah. Emotions by Mariah Carey. You ever see people do blind karaoke? No. You think you could do it?

I could do Emotions by Mariah Carey. All right, let's do it. Let's do it. Blind karaoke. Yes. It didn't come up on his name wheel. No, come on. That wasn't my name wheel submission. Can you do it?

Maybe. I don't want to sing karaoke i will like say the lyrics we're just trying to activate you twin i just just call me twin yeah i hated it i did too yeah all right what you could do this yeah what who else is gonna do a blind karaoke song i don't know if i know any songs. I don't know any. I'll do one. There we go. We need to see the words, though, and he needs to be... Oh, he was right.

Keep your eyes closed. There we go. Keep your eyes closed. I saw you open them. Oh, shit. You got me feeling emotions deeper than other... Oh, they're singing in the back. shit. You got me feeling emotions. Deeper than I've ever felt. Oh, they're singing in the background. You got me feeling emotions.

Higher than the heavens above. Wow, he's nailing this. I feel good. I feel nice. Wait, I've never been so satisfied. I'm in love. I'm alive. You're going a little too fast. You're going I'm in love. I'm alive. You're going a little too fast.

I'm alive. Intoxicated. No. Flying high. It feels like a dream. Feels like a dream when you touch me tenderly. Maybe love. I don't know if you're for real, but you got me.

I lost it. Yeah, you lost it. You're a couple seconds behind. I lost the mic, and then I had to focus on the mic. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. TJ, I could do Tequila. Deeper than I've ever dreamed of.

I can do Curtis with Red, White, and Blue by Toby Cooley. I don't think you can do that. Second verse, we're coming back around. Go ahead, TJ. You can't do tequila. You're going to tequila too early. Exactly right. This might be the hardest one to do.

I love that song. Okay. I'm definitely going to fuck this up. Oh, fuck. If you do it too early, we have to manpile you. Yes. We all lay on you at once. What a great little tune. I know I'm far away right now.

Hell of a build. Tequila. He did it. Yeah. Nailed it. Fuck yes. Nicely done. I told you I could do that. I love doing that song in karaoke.

Just having everyone just stare at you well hit one like looking down at your shoe yeah nail it karaoke's fun I miss doing karaoke in New York a bunch of us used to go out and do karaoke there's a one by Wrigley that if you go with your game ticket you get like half price beer Trader Todd's very fun

that used to be a big underage drinking spot in Philly like go to Chinatown karaoke bars and you can just do anything bring water bottles what was that thing over there loudspeaker that sounded like an emergency thing.

Was there an emergency? Nobody on the court seemed to react as if it were an emergency. Yeah. I didn't hear anything. Oh, wow. That was quite loud. Are you joking? No.

I didn't really hear it either. I didn't hear shit. There was a voice over an hour. Oh, maybe it just came over to this side I think Rico might be our butler tomorrow Are you ready for the next two days Big K? No

I was saying on PMT day with Mark Titus Go listen We got a huge guest mark titus yep love the three days before the tournament starts i cram like i'm like about to take the sat and i read so much information and i go into it with such a well thought out plan and then by one o'clock tomorrow it will all be out the window as soon as i take one loss fuck this plan yeah yeah panic mode correct so yeah it's it's my favorite two days of the year by far same what if you go undefeated buddy buddy. Jan. I was thinking about this, though.

I love gambling. If I went undefeated... No, actually, no. It would be awesome. Yeah. I'd still be down a lot of money in my entire life. But you can't think like that. Brandon, where's your head at with Mississippi State state are you uh excited for the tournament at large or just i have two different

locked in on one game i have two different events tomorrow the first event is mississippi state michigan state at 11 15 michigan once i get through that once i get through that i can focus on what we're doing titus i am going to bet i told brandon in solidarity i'll bet msu oh i'll do that i'll tell you that's my team in the bus in the busters yeah i can't wait to i will bet msu with you for you oh no i'm michigan state but also msu right kate's almost got it. Sports ball. Oh, no. It's sports time. We're getting there, Kate. You're so close.

You're sniffing around. We're going to be sportsing around each other tomorrow, aren't we? We think the bomb dog's got one. Similarities between these teams. The letters. Yeah. But I'm going to bet MSU. Michigan State is also MS.

Now it's getting depressing. Yeah. What? Yeah. Motorlock MSU is going to win. Okay. But which one's yours? MSU, Michigan State.

Fuck. Okay. Wow. You guys do the state thing? Yeah. I saw that on the jerseys. Yeah, like Dr. Pepper? Yeah, because Ohio State doesn't do that.

Michigan State does, and i'm just curious where states where decide that we get just you just call it state we're leaning into state now more than we ever have i think who else does hard states like penn state doesn't just go no all the state i like the techs georgia tech is good tech all right but if i said uh i'm gonna go watch a tech game i would think georgia i would too you wouldn't think virginia tech no because i would think virginia i might think texas i would immediately all the texts are kind of even no i do i think georgia but i think georgia text them all right tj to your list of texts tax them yeah georgia tech's most tech what's the virginia tech that's just the tech no georgia tech is like all the engineers and they're the

tech they're tech people are never like thinking georgia tech oh i, Georgia Tech is like all the engineers. They're tech. People are never thinking Georgia Tech. Oh, I think Georgia Tech all the time. As a school, Georgia Tech is the number one tech. But I'm not talking about school. We're just talking about pop culture. Virginia Tech. I say Virginia Tech. Who's the fourth on the Mount Rushmore of techs?

Texas, Virginia, and Georgia. MIT. Who's little tech? They're not a Tech. Florida Tech? Is there any other division one? Oh, there's a bunch of Utah Tech. Alabama.

Maybe Cal Tech. What does polytechnic mean? Colorado School of Mines. Montana Boys. Oh, they have to be. Somebody tweeted us that they touched a Montana Boy yesterday. Yeah. What?

The hottest one. Yeah. Good for him. God damn it. Wait, Iowa State is an Iowa State Tech? Iowa State. Wow. Hmm.

They should be Iowa State Tech. Yeah, they get both. Yeah. Watch the State Tech. Yeah, they get both. Watch the State Tech. Wendy Winterstein. She looks like she's from a Dr. Seuss novel. Yes. Novel.

Those are pretty long for your novel. Dr. Seuss novel. Oh, boy, I feel stupid. You don't even know what's paired with the green eggs yet. No, she looks like she's from Whoville. Novel. Novel. That rocks.

Damn it. That rocks. No, you needed that after knowing what the firstborn of a French king was. Dolphine. See, Jalen Rose tried to take credit today of uh popularizing the word savant really yeah he said he said doug collins taught him the word savant and he started using it now everyone's you know everyone uses it yeah he's going a little too far because he does have jalen is the name that he created well he didn't his't create it. His mom created it, but all the Jalens after Jalen Rose

were pretty much because of Jalen Rose. Yeah. Like, it wasn't a name until Jalen Rose. But savant. That's pretty wild. Yeah, savant. I mean, he is a savant for thinking that. It's a good...

Does Dr. Seuss have any novels? Pro. Oh. Well, he probably started out, and then he realized, I'm going to make my money like this. Was he a bad guy? He was. He cheated on his wife.

But she was dying. Was he a Nazi? Yes. That didn't seem like a point. What's the difference? Hey, wait on a second. If a bear, that's fair. He was dying.

She should have died. I need to see pictures of the mistress. What was Dr. Seuss? Judged too harshly. Is he a Nazi? Is he a Nazi? Is he a Nazi? I think that was Roald Dahl. Oh.

I don't want to. I mis-Nazied one of these child writers recently. You never want to mis-Nazi. That would be my drag name. Mis-Nazi. Mis-Nazi. Wasn't Dr. Seuss, was he mutant looking? I don't know what he was like.

I think he was just a standard looking white haired guy, right? Yeah, I don't know what he looked like I think he was just a standard looking White haired guy right? All I know is Shel Silverstein Theodore Geisel Also dead There was a song Dead? Shel Silverstein

Dead No Shel Silverstein wasn't He wrote songs Oh Yes I don't know about him That's Dr. Seuss Yeah

Damn Yeah he's getting a lot of ass Yes absolutely Absolutely Was he actually a doctor? I don't know Yeah. Yeah, he's getting a lot of ass. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Was he actually a doctor? I get it. I don't know.

Probably in like, you know how you can have your doctorate of education or something? Yeah. Maybe something like that, but I don't think he was a real doctor. Who's going on the gauntlet? It's been the wheel because we have Long John Silver. He's going to be prepping it. It's fried fish season. Enjoy wild cataska pollock wild caught wild cat wild caught you know what you do the ad read mr smarty pants who thought that i'm just trying was crazy it's for fuck i am so stupid to me you can't. They're children's books, and I call them novels.

And the implication is that's the hardest book I've ever read. You're a millionaire. This is inspiring for a lot of dumbasses. It's just a really tough, tough choice of words. But I also don't know what other word i would have used just book book book yeah yeah i guess book could have worked it's fried it's fried fish man it is fried fish season long john enjoy what hurts enjoy enjoy wild caught alaska pollock hand battered and fried to perfection at long John Silver's. They have more than fish.

This February 14th through March 31st, indulge in their $10 shrimp sea shares. Perfect for sharing with loved ones or savor their $6 shrimp baskets, popcorn shrimp, grilled shrimp, or battered dipped shrimp. Craving even more shrimp? Upgrade to jumbo shrimp for a limited time. Order ahead and skip the wait by ordering online at ljsilvers.com and pick up in the restaurant. Get extra perks and discounts when you sign up at ljsilvers.com.

Offer valid at participating restaurants and discounts not valid for delivery orders at Long John Silver's. Malasek, come in here. Yeah, he kind of took a whooping last night huh people are asking me to fire him fire him why because he embarrassed our company i think you should make him make a video for women only why is his shirt so long it's ours i know but it looks longer on him it's like a triple x malasek jake it doesn't take you that long so now what's up

big cat had something to say to you i want him saying this tj because i want to blow everyone's brain uh how are you how's your tummy this morning was was bad That was real bad this morning How many did you have? We did 109 Yeah, thank god they suck Yeah, true At the end of the game, there was like 15 What's it say above your unused cock?

Pacline, okay That's a very funny thing to have on your cock What, Pacline? Like a ferocious defense right above his cock Yeah, is that why you have no interest in scoring because you're a virginia guy yeah got him um it's one thing to lose yeah it was bad i get it like what do you want me to say sorry it's all i have i tried to get everybody excited for it i'm the only one here you embarrassed a lot of people and then it just it just it just it didn't go

great it went really bad really bad so like i'm sorry to everybody that i convinced to do anything surrounding virginia we all knew it was gonna go bad yeah when did you know it was gonna go bad was it the 14 points i'll be honest i'll be honest. Ryan Dunn hit a fadeaway jumper. First points of the game, I was like, we're going to win this game by 25 points. And then we didn't score for an hour. That first basket came with like four minutes gone in the game. I was real in. And it was like close

for the first 10 minutes. Also, you guys were just missing like wide open shots. Air balls. Yeah. I thought... FD L low could have scored for i thought oh hold on now sneaking in like that when nobody especially the guys on the team definitely probably didn't think that they were going to get in was going to make them like good at basketball really want to really want to play and like show out and they just didn't

silver lining i don't have to do that again for a while what the silver lining is there's no more uva basketball to watch oh but yeah the baseball squad yeah lacrosse is good baseball is good that'll be fun virginia baseball is always good uh so i told malicek tj i sent you this tweet look at this guy that was crazy cannot wait for uA to drop 42 points in a 25 point loss to Colorado State. I don't think any tournament team scored fewer points all year than UVA. He sent that yesterday at 8.40

in the morning. Of course he's a doctor. And he nailed it. How insane is that? Of course he's a doctor. He got it. How did he do that? How did he do that? How did he do that? And it was a reply to UVA freaking out.

Yeah, that video. When I saw it, I knew you guys were in trouble. I mean, I knew you were in trouble. They were shocked. I watched your team all season. You sucked. But, yeah, they were shocked. That wasn't like celebratory.

That was like, holy shit. He got away with a heist. Yeah, he had the same reaction in the gambling cave. He was like holy shit he got away with the heist yeah he had the same reaction the gambling cave he was like what we're in but i i thought they were gonna use that as no no motivation to get marks that are on mostly sports today i listened he was like the hater said they could like we couldn't do it and they were right the haters were right yeah they were right about everything everybody was right all right so take it out on whoever has to do the gauntlet. Who's going to do that?

I don't know yet. Oh, we're spinning the wheel? Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, so take it out on that person. I'm sure it'll go great. I'm sure it will.

Shea probably shouldn't be on the wheel. Brandon! Here we go, Brandon. Let's go, big boy. Let's go, big boy. Make a pick that way. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, big boy. Let's go, big boy. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, big boy. You want someone to walk you through it?

No, you need the hat. Put on the hat. No, Brandon. Yeah, you do have a big fucking head. Damn, Brandon Walker. Big fucking head. Let's go, Brandon. Come on, Brandon.

This is your show, Brandon. What are we hoping for time, Brandon? Go for the record. Three minutes. Three flat. Three flat. Jason, let's get another rebounder. Why?

He's not that hurt. No. No, and also, Brandon's not going to. Oh, for the soccer balls, yes. You're right. Basketball, you don't need another rebounder. Because I'm the rebounder. Connor, what's up?

What's up, sleepyhead? How you doing? He looks really happy today. You're glowing, Connor. Connor. Why are you so happy? Light on his feet. Great concert last night.

Give Brandon a hug. Give Brandon a hug. Don't touch me. Come on. Brother-in-laws. Come on. Family. Family. Brandon, family. Come on. Brother-in-laws. Family. Family. Big cat.

Brandon, family. Come on. Give him a hug. Sad Sam. Give him a hug. Just give him a hug, Kyle. You know how to hug a walker. Just give him a hug.

Yeah. Don't smell his beard. That's nice. You guys are going to laugh about this over Thanksgiving. You smell good. You smell like a millier. Oh, fuck. I don't think I'm going home for Easter.

Shut the fuck up. Did you hear that? Yeah. Shit. You said Easter? Yeah, I don't think I'm going home for Easter, he said. All right, are we good? Where's Steven go? He's over there.

All right, okay. All right, three, two, one, go. Come on, Brandon. Oh, Brandon. A wrap. It's a wrap. It's a wrap. Oh, Brandon, 1, go! Come on Brandon. Oh Brandon. It's a wrap. There we go! In the hole. Dainty, dainty, dainty. Oh! Wow! Holy shit!

Absolute Goliath-crack. Oh! Oh my god. This guy. Oh, that was close. Having your sister. No. Fucked is like having a child in the NFL. You're going to play well the next day.

Oh, man. How did no bottles go? He almost had it. He's hidden off the wall. The gun is still set up, by the way, on this. There we go. I'm predicting Brandon. Dainty, dainty.

Oh, his shot isn't good enough to get over the gun. Wait, what is it? Oh! What the hell? Hurry up now. Hurry up! Go. What? Uh-oh. What the hell? Hurry up now. Hurry up! Go. What?

Oh. Oh. Oh. No! Oh! Oh, fuck. Come on! Oh!

Oh, he got- Why did he walk away? A little cocky there. What's going on? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, now he's in his head. Now he's crushing it.

Or two away from. Walker is wet from three. All right. One teacher for the magic school bus. I don't fucking know. 16 names. Bo. Bo.

16 names. Katana. By multiple sports. I got it. Katana. Panthers. Giants. Ice. Jthers. Giants. Ice.

Jets. Yes. Wayne's World. Artist for Mambo No. 5. Lubega. Adam Carolla. Is that Women's podcast Hall of Fame A

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Oh, good time. Who'd you miss? You missed Cardinals. I just didn't see anything. Kings. Rangers. That was great. Damn.

Good job, Braze. You fucking pressed that, Brandon? Yeah. Hell of a time. Fucking football ambassador. The football is so frustrating. Yeah. Archie, you want to go again? No no that's it for me for the year for the year it's only march brandon he's that's it's like right below ah yeah it is i'm masqueraded yet again

got you again he hasn't had a walker underneath him in oh funny how that worked This was a great gag It was It was a very funny gag So fun I laughed so many times You did take it too far with the Zahn

That was fucked up That was fucked up No I Too far All I did was look and pee Abject harassment If I Yeah If Zahn said it I didn't say it If I'm gonna hear and he was... Abject harassment. If I... Yeah.

Bazaar said it. I didn't say it. If I'm going to hear from Dave about anything on this show, that's going to be that one. I should probably self-report it right now. So I want to get ahead of it. I'm good. Okay. Well, please everyone subscribe.

And we will be back on Monday after the madness. Also, reminder, Stella Blue Coffee bracket. If you buy anything at StellaBlueCoffee.com right now before tip on Thursday and you join or you buy anything, we'll send you the link to the bracket. If you win the bracket, you get a trip to Chicago HQ with two of your friends. You will be doing the Yak Gauntlet. Like, what's better than that? Probably become our best friend.

Maybe job for life. I don't want to promise anything, but if you're cool, I think Cliff Demartino's going to win that. Probably. I feel like he's going to reach a higher power. Although he can come here anytime he wants. Okay.

Thanks, everyone, for tuning in to the Yak. See you on Monday. Good luck. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Hey, have a good one. We'll see you guys on Monday.

Make sure to watch all the streams this week. Enjoy the madness. Love you guys. Bye.