The Yak - Brandon's TRUE Barstool Origin Story is Revealed | The Yak 10-14-24

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

The Yak book gets some major updatesYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the YAC. It's the YAC. It's the YAC. Cha, the YAC. Promo code YAC. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rollback.com promo code YAC, rollback.com promo code YAC.

Uh... What was that? That was... That's weird. I want heads to roll. Do we blame Che or Fasoli? I don't know. Hold on, I'm just tweeting out the show. The, the, Che, Che's not here today.

He's also calling it Indigenous People Day. Made me want to punch him. Um... Zah just... Zah collapsed to the ground laughing. Bro, it's Columbus Day. Yeah, so we're doing this calendar this week, but it does feel very half-assed. I thought we were doing the Doug calendar.

Yeah, we are. So he's hidden. Apparently they're going to superimpose him on every page, like a where's Doug. But Doug Well facility just came and took a picture of us sitting here in and then I think they're gonna hide a tiny Doug in it Right, but maybe this picture pose for a photo. This is not the I got a new idea Why don't we sell a calendar because the idea Danny Danny's here. Sorry. I forgot to tell Danny. Come on the We're the idea is to try to sell a calendar, right? Yeah. Sell as many as we can.

Why don't we do a calendar and every month has one of our phone numbers or home addresses? I love that. Boom. Good idea. Let's fucking sell a shitload of calendar. Sell a shitload. Sell a shitload.

Maybe a bank account, let's throw in a bank account. What about rather than photos, we all get assigned a YAC memory, we have to draw or paint a bag. Yeah, what about rather than photos? We all get assigned a yak memory We have to draw or paint. Oh, I like that. I like that one do that What cock shots cock shots could be like the final one and then I think every day You know there's cat like holidays on this on the dates every day should be Doug Day. Oh Doug Day Yeah, I'm in for that that draw that just felt so shitty

Yeah, yeah, hey real quick good as well. Yeah, what is this party? I don't know Man, there's only 12 months Yeah, wow, and ones either This like wait can we add a new month to our calendar? Yeah, we should what would we call it? Like wait can we add a new month to our calendar? Yeah, we should what would we call it? Doug you wear what have we made it? What have we made the calendar every because Thank there's been people who said it like the the month should be it should be 12 or should be 13 28 day months Okay, so we just make a new month, and we'll make a proper calendar. Yeah. Yes, Brandon. It doesn't add up. I

Fuck you know, it doesn't add up dude. I'm not the I'm not the ideas guy. I'm not the guy I Will add it up. We go ahead just let maybe just let me talk Oh, you're gonna like you'll realize I wasn't gonna say what you think I was gonna say I think you're pivoting maybe you say who ate my chick-fil-a. Maybe give me a chance. Okay, give me one chance. Don't have it Go nice row back by the way I just be joggers. They're so fucking comfortable. Oh, you look old chance already. You missed your chance. Yeah, Brandon. Okay so this idea this calendar idea, which is already seems to be half-baked right now and Che is Spearheading the idea from wherever he is. He's remotely directing. He's remotely directing it. On indigenous people there.

He seems to be doing a very poor job. What if we just take the bull by the horns right now and come up with a good calendar idea right here, right now? Yeah. Stage and Duffy? So this is the backup idea. What happened? Oh, yeah.

We're already on our backup idea. This is the book. What? You didn't want to say anything about the idea of the 13 months with 28 days in each month, and every month starts with a Monday I was fine about that. That's if y'all want to change the calendar All right, that's fine do whatever you want to do wouldn't that be perfect though

Yeah, but I don't want to take in stock pictures of us is what I'm trying to say and like calendar is like how many days Is that I don't know I that Calendar year has 13 months 18 days days each. Yeah, see? Nobody actually buys calendars anymore either. And this would be our third calendar that we put out. Well, what do you want to put out? A recipe book? I like an art book.

Art book. Art book. Where would you put the new month in between what two? Like a coffee table art book. Then it's like you look through and it's like a... We submit like five to ten pieces of art. Okay. We'd have to do them by Thursday probably.

So what? Then no. What about one by Thursday? Two. I know what I'm going to draw. I could get two. The house. But what if it is a Yak moment?

Like an artistic representation of Joe Montana catching the M&M. Or the toe surgery. The toe surgery. The pulling the big bottle of Grey Goose out of the bag. Put it in already. Time Nikki drew a swastika. That's tattooed on my leg. Yeah, I'll draw that.

Okay, perfect. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All of those. All of those. Mothers Day. Mothers Day is a good one. Oh my god. Please give me that one I want to do it like how Dante depicted hell. Yeah

That would be good if it was just like it was almost like a riddle you had to figure out what the day was based On the drawings. I think are the drawings will be bad enough to wear yeah true All right, so TJ what this was our backup idea? Yeah, we were gonna do the second book, but then decided We're lazy. We didn't have enough time. So What was the second book calendar? It was either the White Sox Dave book or just another sex the last fuck oh the last fuck But one pass to give we're past our initial soft due date for that. What about a hard due date?

A hard due date was later in, like, next week, I think. Oh, we have a week? Oh, we're good. We could do whatever. For the book. I guess the calendar's different. So we have a week to write a book? Yeah, we could write a book in a week.

We could do that. We did it last year. What about we do an art book. We could spin the wheel for the medium that we do it in. And we have to write a poem accompanying that painting or drawing. We could do that. I like that.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared of the poem. Why are you scared of the poem? You used to write speeches for Coca-Cola. It wasn't Coca-Cola. God damn it. Hepsi.

Was it? No. All right, I'll do whatever y'all want to do. Trying to think what damn it. Hep C. Was it? No. All right, I'll do whatever y'all wanna do. Trying to think, what do the people want? Yeah, what do the people want? That's not gonna be a very big book though. That's the question. No, but it's a- What do the people want?

They probably, they want our phone number. I think they want the addresses and the phone number. They want our phone numbers, yeah. Yeah. They already got my address, but I think they want our phone numbers. They have my phone number. We have like an Enigma type code that we put our phone number in.

Every day of the calendar, whatever digit from your number, that day is like a red instead of black, you know? So they have to figure out and mix and match. If we put all of our phone numbers together, oh yeah. So they just have to, every iteration. The last page is all of our phone numbers combined. Yeah, all the numbers jumbled up. What about a Rubik's Cube?

Yeah, a Rubik's Cube. You get our addresses. What if we sold PlayStations? Why don't we sell PlayStation 5s for like a dollar? Yeah, that would actually do well. People would love that. We did our merch bonus. Worms? bonus worms not a high-end business these days okay is there a luxury worm is there a worm that rich people buy oh yeah kataba worms are the rich the

Taba worms are the best but they only come out they only come out once a year for about three weeks so it's almost impossible to get them how much can you flip a kataba for you'd have to them too. You freeze them and then they'll come out. What makes them special? Look at them. Is it just for the fish? Oh catfish love them. Catfish love them. You can sell those for shoot you can sell those for five bucks a can. Really? Wow. Damn. Has there ever been a worm millionaire? There's got to be a worm but There's an everything millionaire. Mm-mm. Oh, there's shit millionaires. There's got to be worm millionaires.

Well, shit is a big deal. There's certainly worm millionaires out there somewhere. I don't know if there's an everything millionaire. No. There's a king of everything. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Don't think the king's a millionaire?

No. Not always. What about those things that you tie bread loaves with those Ties that guy yeah, that guy's a millionaire. Okay, I'd be all right The little pizza the little table on the pizza Million I thought it going to that for Halloween this year How would that work around my I don't worry. I have it drawn it drawn up. Hey, I got a question about the calendar. TJ, the calendar that we did a couple years ago sold well, did it not? Yeah. So

let's just do that. Run it back. Let's do the wheel. And it's, what was the, it was like a... Outfits, locations. Yeah. And then have Doug in that. That was a fun calendar. Yeah. Yeah, Doug will just have to be in every single picture Mm-hmm hidden us with Doug. We did a calendar a few years ago marked It was just it was like what was I was in Michael Strahan's tooth gap Yeah, so it's just like we came over the random locations. It's not what were you you you Jesus Something like somebody was a team. We have any of the pictures from it Oh, I think it was like someone was Jesus in Chase flooded basement.

We were in armor. I was Jesus. Yeah, so we just did it on the green screen. It was perfect. I don't remember what I was. I was naked, I think. Yeah, that seems to be. And weren't we all werewolves at the end or something?

We also did Liz Gonzales naked calendar too. What? That was a different thing. No, she made us be naked. She made us be naked. Oh, yeah. I was being such a dick that, like I didn't want to get naked for the calendar.

I was naked in the American Beauty roses. I only put a rip in my shirt. And Enrique took the pictures. I was naked in a bed of roses with a small gay man hovering over me. OK. So I think this works. I think this is a bit of a body issue.

Yeah, body issue. Oh. Yeah, here's what we should do. Here's what we should do. Here's what we should do. Let's think right now of the big moments we've had, the fun things we've done the past year. And those should be the locations. And then we can come up with costumes.

What do you mean the locations, fun things we've done? How would... Like, one of the months can be one of us is... Inside of Minzy's grilled cheese. Yeah, or an apple being bobbed. A roof. Yeah. Yeah, a roof. Wow, that wasn't very fun. Did you guys scrap the idea of the Where's Waldo book,

but it just dug hidden? Well, the drawing was going to take way too long. Yeah. Fair. Oh, yeah, see? Here we go. It's Kyle. Is that the casting calendar? It's the casting calendar. I thought I was going to get crucified with naked.

That's made as a slug at Kohl's. Yeah, this is a good calendar. I totally forgot. How does anyone forget that? Casting cast I thought I was gonna get she's a five Slug Just do this again, where was I keep going I want to see Brandon as a mermaid at the stock market Oh, yeah, wait should we build these now? Yeah, let's build these now. This was fun Chey is a tree in a pet cemetery Brandon's pet cemetery. It could just be a random nice location. Oh, Brandon's Pet Cemetery. Yeah. Yeah. Do y'all remember this at all?

No, dude. But it was good. Yeah, there we go. Zah was a priest in the Yax Studio. That's the production. Yep. Wow. Yeah, I don't.

There he is. That's me as Ellen DeGeneres in Michael Stirrihan's Toothgap! Yeah! We can help with this! Yeah, this is... That's me as a cat in Chase Flooded... Yeah, in the flood! Wait, that is cool. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, this is gonna be fun. We can come up with the combinations. Oh, sass. Who is that? Kyle as a Pokemon? Sass as a Pokemon? Sass as a Pokemon trainer. That's Kyle's face, isn't it? Okay. Sass catcher.

That's sass. Sass traded naked for that. What was I? Oh, gross. What the hell were you? I don't know. Naked. I think it was in Big Cat's bank account or something.

Oh, Money Pile. Oh, in Big Cat's Money Pile. Money Pile, yeah. You look grosser there than you would naked. I don't know what that was. Rone is a football in the bank selfie museum. Oh, that's great. It's me as a cardboard box at Tiananmen Square.

Yeah, it sure is, T. Yeah, this is great. Undeniably. Yeah, then we did. All of us at Subway. Yeah, December. This makes... That's the Smollett Subway, I believe.

Yeah, so in December we should do a group picture. I like this. Nick, why are you looking so zesty there? Boy, good question. TJ, god damn. Oh, heavens. Oh. All right, so we've taken back this calendar,

and this is what we're going to do. Well, did you show that image again? And then can I have a suggestion then? Why are there fights in it? Oh, sorry, that's Kate. It could be weird like that, but yes, I get that a lot. Somewhere on the side of it is like Doug superimposed kind of looking down on us just on every single one. I think I think Doug hidden to make it a game. OK, yeah. Hidden. And can we do like first person to find every Doug get something? Yeah, they get another calendar for free. I'll

keep saying that. But I thought if we do the scenes and everything, what if Doug is just part of every one? Yeah, Doug's not superimposed, he's actually there, hiding. He's in the photo. Hiding? He's hiding in the actual photo. You wanna hide him, or do you want him to participate in every single scene?

He should be in every, I don't know, let's ask the people again. But he would've been a box next to TJ, he would've been all these people. But like, I wanna give people the joy we feel when we find Doug. I haven't seen Doug today, I'm a little off. Yeah, huh?

OK, another idea. Do people use calendars? They'll buy this one. Yeah. I don't know if they use them. Like schedule calendars. We can't put a book together, TJ? I could ask, but I think we're passing it.

A calendar is just a sideways book. Yeah, what about a coffee table calendar? Well, I was going to say, like, we can do a book with these pictures. Yeah. We could be, you know, it doesn't have to say, like, we could do a book with these pictures. Yeah. It doesn't have to be the months, but we could come up with goofy pictures.

Every, like, six pages of different picture of Doug. We could throw, like, a riddle in there. Yeah, let's just have it be, like, a variety book. A crossword. A maze. A sporkle. Oh, my God. We could put a fill-in sporkle in there. Making a crossword would be a blast. I'd love to make a maze.

T.J., can you ask when our deadline is? Because we're going to need to know what day we have to... Can we make a coloring book? Yeah. Yeah, we'll do a color... Like a book of games and puzzles. It should be everything. How are we going to do that? Anything we want to submit, we'll put in the book.

Right, and we already have... We know we'll have a certain amount of pictures that we can already just go and take, because I think we should redo that and Just have all kinds of things. Yeah, miscellaneous like a miscellaneous coffee table book It's basically just the book of nothing Yeah, it's the yak it's the yak in book form throw a couple thumbnails in there. Yeah, we'll put Stephen Che will have just a sheet That's just all his dumb prep sheet questions. Oh yeah.

There we go. Yeah. We can make a mad lib for Che's prep sheets. Bunch of different things. Yeah, it's just a bunch of different things all thrown in a book. It doesn't really make any sense whatsoever, but people will enjoy it. That's the epitome of this show though. Yeah.

Cool. There we go. We should even do a page where it's like a still of us like it's a picture of us and then the comment section It's like fill in the blank so people can write like fuck. Yeah a blank chat. Yeah Yeah, mad Libs chat oh We could do a math. Yeah mad Lib for the prep sheet or a mad Lib for the chat. Yeah So TJ the most important part of this idea is, again, when can we procrastinate till?

I'm asking. I think we could all come with 10 things for this book by the end of the week. This is less daunting than writing something. 10 things November 8. We're going to have to do it before that. Yeah. Yeah.

Probably October 21st. But it could also be something that we sell on Black Friday that ships in like a few weeks. Like, we tell people like, hey, you're not going to get it till Christmas. Right. This is very important, finding the deadline. If we could make them hard back, too, that would be sick.

That would be sick, I don't know. Leather bound. Audio. Audio. Audio coloring book. That funniest book. What about an audio book of the act? Like the kids books, where you press the button on the side.

Yeah, we do it from 12 to 2 every day. That's good. Yeah. And you have to, and to say you the viewer has to start paying us for it Now we've really found it Just end up this whole show. We just end up doing a paywall Yeah gold. Yeah gold. Yeah Okay Should we figure out the... It's the easiest thing we've ever done, guys.

Today, should we figure out the costumes and locations just so we can get those ordered? Yeah, because I do just want to do a wheel of those things. Yeah, because that is... That's important, these pictures, because it does give us a good baseline where at least we have like 10 pages of the book done. That's the key to this book, is just figuring out a way to do

Page is easy. Yeah Yeah, oh we could have a met we could have a blank map the United States and you could draw in your purple Yeah, someone writing this down chape write this down who He's not here, fuck. Is he watching, though? Print out the rules of netball? What was it called?

Fucking no. Kiss ball? Oh, goal ball. Goal ball. Goal ball, yeah. Which we don't really know. We just pick up whatever we want. Pick up all those rules.

Yeah. Oh, find the pub. We can have two pages that are just a basketball court. Oh my god, yeah. The centerfold. Yeah. I'm thinking the first 1,000 people to buy one should be able to put a pub in there.

You have 1,000 pubes? At least. Whoa. Oh, we should just have a page that's just pinned to tail on Mincy. So it's just a picture of Mincy's ass. Bear ass. You could play it. You could rip it out and play it he has bare ass I want his bare ass it would be I don't know what that would look like I think it's

like a I think it's like like a steep you ever see those cliffs in like Ireland where they're just oh yeah yeah, yeah. It's like it's that. That's beautiful. Yeah. Just runs right down. You could use two pages. One is the angle of White Sox Dave before you see him turn in his hair. Oh! Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, like where you flip. Oh yeah, we gotta put a picture of his hair in there. Or you could, like a bald head White Sox Dave, you can envision that, and you have to draw the hair on it. This book is gonna rock! Dude, this is a great book. A wooly White Sox Dave. This is a great fucking book to draw the hair on it. This book is gonna rock! Dude, this is a great book. This is a great fucking book. I want to choose your own adventure element in there somewhere.

Sure, of course. Yeah. Figure that out. I want one of the ones like you could turn like a flip book inside of it too where you can flip it back and forth like in the Captain Underpants books. We should put a single match at the end of the book and you have to burn it when you're done. Yes. Leave no record of this book ever existing. ever maybe one really hot page like hot as a stove. Oh like yeah

That must be the hot page We gotta get some Lego titties in there. Oh, yeah, I go to be a Lego. Oh my god. We're ideating like Rhodes scholar Oh, we do it. That's seller. We could do a connect the dots of a Lego person. You're just doing these two Oh, we do it bestseller we could do a connect the dots of a Lego person you're just doing these two Yeah, all right The answer TJ she's checking. Okay, this I feel like this is gonna be a bad answer But I want to do this bad if it's promised by Christmas Perfect stocking stuffer and everyone has to come with five five pages. And I think we shouldn't talk to each other. No, no, no. If there's repeats, there's repeats.

Yeah. Just have it be the most random things. It could be like a game of Operation on one page, but you're just giving Che a vasectomy. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got it. There should just be a vasectomy page where it just has 50, like, and you just, you can check off your nuts Mm-hmm a nut checklist. Yeah nut checklist

We said we were gonna make like an advent calendar out of it Yeah, jerk off days. There's a little bit of come behind every oh more come Field talk cream filled. Oh man more more, damn it. Come again. And I want to sell it in sizes, like shirts. I want an extra triple XL that's big as a fridge. Huge book. They return it because it didn't fit?

Oh, I look ridiculous with this book. We should make the book like this big. Yeah, well that would be extra small. Youth small. Yeah. Youth, youth small. Tiny. Miniature book. This idea rocks. Feels good to get ideas going.

There we go. All it took was Che annoying us with a half-assed idea. This could all be for absolutely nothing if we're just like, nah, I can't, calendar. Well, I think we're gonna do this regardless. If it can't be black Friday We might have to just come up with something some awesome shirt or something make it be pre-orders by black like yeah, right a Yaktivity book Shout out for solely if he hadn't come here and try to take a yeah

Yeah, honestly, it was someone else taking pictures. I think we just all would have taken it. Yeah Yeah, and because Yeah, you put we all got fired up about it like yeah, what someone else taking pictures? I think we just all would have taken it. Yeah Yeah, you put we all got fired up about it like yeah, what the fuck is this? You also just stood there you put Zuby behind that camera, and I don't think yeah. Yeah We take the picture we move on yeah, and that's that so I guess in a weird way for solely something about him Did this happen job? Yeah, just pisses me off It was for solelyoli and Che. Yeah, that's a lethal combo. Yeah, let's give them the creative lead.

The two of them just doing anything. I'm instantly out. I would have felt so bad selling a calendar of just us. That shit sucks. Sucked. The worst calendar ever. Oh, I'm glad I bought this. I kind of do want to see a Fasoli-Che collab, though. I want to see what that looks like. Well calendar ever. Oh, I'm glad I bought kind of do want to see if the solely J collab though

I want to see what that looks like well We should have a section yeah have a section in the books is just for solely and Che Yeah, they get like four pages of whatever they want and it's gonna suck I want to have a solely and Che to put out one episode of a podcast can't be football. Oh I like I would love that. I don't know. I want to see them collab. What do they come up with? Probably football. We had a theory on Fasoli this weekend.

You remember when Connor Griffin was talking to the Walking Bats gal about going to the concert? And you weighed in to be the wingman and be like, Hey Connor, you won these tickets because you saved all those kids. Saved all those kids. Vasoli did one too right after you, but we think instead of trying to get her attention for Connor, he was just trying to get your attention.

Oh. Did he do it in response to Dan? He did it right under Dan. I can't remember if he did it in response to Dan or not, but it was a wingman tweet that was, that Dan would have liked more than I think anybody else That is very classic for solely alright, so yeah, he said hey T Mathis Thanks so much for the follow me and my buddy Lucas are supposed to go to see Sabrina Carpenter in Chicago Sunday

But I think he's feeling a bit under the weather his ticket might be up for grabs Said ha ha ha ha ha ha too bad. I don't live in Chicago dying to see Sabrina. Too many ha's. Connor said, that's a shame. Well, I just got off a long phone call with Lucas and he ended it by saying, Connor, there's nothing I want more than for you to give away my ticket. Three's the right amount of ha's. No lie. He said that word for word, just something to keep in mind if you want me to look into flights. Yep. And I said, Hey, Connor, is this the concert you have

backstage passes for? Because you saved all those kids from the burning building. Right. you're up in your boy Yeah, and then facility said hey Connor Thank you so much for that massive three leg parlay the cash last weekend that helped feed Nikki smokes all weekend Yeah, I was trying to get your attention. Yeah, he was Yeah, I text him right away I was like what was that parlay I'm trying to think of things facility could do to make me laugh, and I think it's get hit by a street sweeper I'm trying to think of things for solely could do to make me laugh and I think it's get hit by a street sweeper

Cement truck yeah Those are the two baby zamboni oh that'd be good yeah if you slid like The three funniest things for solely can do. Faceplant and wet cement. Yeah. Step on it until it hardens. Imagine seeing that face imprint. That would make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Just two eye squints and a big smile on the cement. Can we do that?

Yeah. Have him face first and then wet cement? Yeah. That hardens. I would love like, can we do like our own Hollywood walk of fame? Oh. Try to get our guests to put their face in wet cement. Real quick.

That's what we do with every guest. I know you're busy. I'm just gonna need you to put your face in the cement. Fasoli getting hit by a cement truck with rock. Oh my god. Cartoon sounds. He has tweety birds. Stars above his head. Fasoli getting hit by a cement truck with rock. Oh my god cartoon sounds He has tweety birds

Stars above his head. Yeah walking like an accordion Two foot red bumper eyes Yeah, he's wearing a big cap over top of his big bump Yeah, we need to get him into some more physical comedy. Yeah. Some slapstick shit. Start watching him get hit by stuff. Jackass. Yeah.

Yeah, we just do a version of Jackass, but it's just at Fasoli. Which is make him do it. Make Fasoli do all the Jackass. Fasoli does Jackass. He. Fasoli does jackass. He's an interesting guy. Interesting guy. That's on the talent.

We're like, come down if you have a silly talent. He came down and he just flipped his eyelids inside out. That was upsetting. That was hilarious. We didn't know what to do. Yeah, I think about it a lot. Gross. That was gross.

Let me do an ad real quick. Oh, Factor. We should have Fasoli do the Japanese game show with Mince and Clemmer. Yes. Yeah. Or he should just be the video guy. But he has to follow them up and down.

He has to follow them. Yeah. POV. We don't even have the video on. Camera keeps going. I don't know, cutting live to Fasoli going down. Yes. I really wanna do that, TJ.

We gotta find. Slippery stairs. down. Yes. I really want to do that TJ. The we got to find some first stairs for for Clemmer verse mincy. We got to get slippery stairs. When do you think that would be? I think what last year was like right around late February. I think that's what we should do kind of kind of a doldrums of winter day to look forward to. Yeah, we were kicking around what would be the idea this year for the grilled cheese last year, the equivalent. I think it's, I think it's still grilled cheese. I think it might be because I don't think either have probably done the work. No. And it can

happen again. I'm so excited for that day. I think, I think them having to use the oven though for like if they had to make a pizza. Yeah. Oh yeah. And I don't know about you all has to review their pizzas. I don't know about y'all. I could see them. I could see some grilled cheese highlights right now. Yeah, I could. Yes, always one of the best days of my life. It really was hardest I've ever left. I cannot wait for the next next. It's coming up. It was in response to the combine, which was in when it was in late February, late February. Okay.

Yeah, no, it's um, credit to us because I really, I loved it so much, I was like, what if we just do this every six months? But I feel like the once a year just makes it, it's just building. Yeah. Where I've had moments where I've daydreamed, I can't wait for this day again.

I go back and watch Minzy's feet going airborne while he was bobbing for apples. Yeah. That was amazing. His sixth best highlight that day was the funniest thing you've ever seen. Yeah. Like knocking this camera over right here. Oh my god.

Getting doinked in the eye. No, that was that day. Yeah. It was all in there. Any other day, that would be like the number one moment. We forgot about it. Remember when the goal was to have Clemmer chase the car and he just drove the car right

to Clemmer? Yeah, he took the car. Oh, how about that? How do I do the burning? Oh, they both have their handles sticking out of the hot things. Was it Clemmer who cut it with the bag on or Mincy? Oh, he's got a glove on? He's got a glove.

He's going to bleed into that glove. I would love to hire somebody to animate. This is like a Put out a special anime That's the Chef Donnie. What is happening? What? What? For those who are listening right now. Cut the biggest pieces of cheese I've ever seen.

That's when we realized Mincy wasn't too smart. Oh my God. I feel just as stunned watching it now than I did before. The angles he's making with the bread Clever was equally as bad. Oh yeah. He just didn't get credit for it.

Clembers has about 15 pieces of bread scattered across his skillet. No. I think it's... I think that's two. Everyone put the cheese down. Yeah, the cheese went down. Why is he cooking the cheese? I was out of office this day, but I tuned in.

They must have put some weird caveat on how to make this grilled cheese. Nope. Nope. Just make a grilled cheese. It's shocking. You had to take the plate. It started a fire. Look at Clemmer's arms. Weird.

Holy shit. My throat might be. I think Clemmer just has to get to the finish line. Clemmer just has to have a sandwich. line. Clemmer just has to have a sandwich. 15 on the clock. Thank you, time check. Doesn't it just catch right back on fire? Yeah.

Oh, no. Ah! Melt, damn it! You got to cut it smaller. He started a fire. Oh, shit. It's. Oh, damn it. Oh, he got the cheese directly back on the skillet again. It's going to burn.

What's he doing? He's trying to chop his. Look at those sandwiches. This is a sandwich competition. Menci wins this. Those look like they're making like mysterious art. sandwich competition Making like mysterious art This looks more like something you discover this is an uncovered foreign object. Oh my god. I can't wait

Yeah, it might just be grilled cheese again By the way factor sweater weather pairs perfectly with savory fall foods with your busy schedules, sometimes hard to eat the way you'd like to. That's where Factor comes in. Their chefs do the shopping and chopping to bring you fresh, never frozen, fully cooked meals right to your doorstep. All you have to do is heat and eat. All the meals are dietitian approved, so you know you're getting the nutrition you need along with the fall flavors you crave.

When it comes to meals, everyone wants them. Same thing, options. That's why Factor offers 35 wholesome meals every week, including gourmet plus keto, calorie smart, vegan plus veggie. So you'll always find something you love that suits your lifestyle. This fall, you've got a long, a lot going on outside the kitchen. Keep your plans in turn to Factor. They deliver fresh, nutritious, chef-prepared meals

ready to eat in just two minutes. Head to factormeals.com slash yak 50 and use code yak50 to get 50% off your first box, 20% off your next month. That's code yak50 at factormeals.com slash yak 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Factor meals are incredible. Love Factor Meals.

I was a Factor Meal guy before they even came on as a sponsor. Great, easy way to eat dinner. Did you guys see also that Mincy now, he just does no sound videos now? Yeah. Well, this one had sound, though, right? Yeah, but it's very, very, very low. Yeah, somehow the crowd was louder than him,

and he was holding the phone right next to him. For some reason, I never see any of his tweets on my timeline. The Chicago guys, they took Minty to go see Joker 2, and they painted his face like the Joker. And once he got there, the movie theater was like, you have to wash all that makeup off. But he left the green hair for the rest of the day. Wait, why did they have to wash off? I don't know. the green hair for the rest of the day wait. Why did they why I don't know you can do that

It does I thought to me. There's maybe that's Yeah, oh yeah forgot about Aurora Yeah, but just to leave the green hair he was was talking to Mount Joy casually just with green hair, sweating green streaks off the side of his face. Of course he was. Of course he was. Can you find that video of his recap? I think it was Saturday night.

Saturday night, yeah. No, not this one. Oh, the one before. That one he got sound. No, it's from Saturday night. That's at the football. Oh, the NFL game. Yeah. Saturday night. That's it. That's the football of the NFL game. Yeah

It's good like this yeah Game time. What? Oh, it's a man. Yo. This is it. Send. Send tweet. I would feel bad for his old miss loss, but he did. While that was happening, LSU beat a ranked team. Oh, excited about that. Huge win for LSU. Yeah. Big win for LSU.

Oh, man. I can't wait for that day. What else? How's everyone's weekend? Good. Good. Good. Yeah, it was Dallas. Dallas was great. It was hot. Yeah, that that was fun. That bar. Cosm. Unbelievable. It's the it has the dome and it has the entire wall is the you feel like you're in the stadium. It amazing it like bent reality for didn't make you dizzy. No, it's perfect it felt like you're it feels like you're sitting in like the fourth row of the stadium and Then they switched it around to the end zone view and you're watching from there

It's it's it's the best way to watch sports kind of sounds like the sphere. Yeah, it sounds like a worse version Is it a little bit of a sphere much like y'all came out of there thinking about all you want to do is get back to Sphere, all I want to do is get back to Cosm. It's not the Sphere, right? It is Sphere-like. And this is a more intimate setting. I've been to Cosm. That is my answer to that question.

Diasphere. Look at this. You're sitting there watching. It looks incredible. And the food is top notch. I had a lobster grilled cheese. Where does reality start? Is that a fence?

I can't even tell. Yeah. What's the fence? The fence is... It does look like you're in a box. The fence is in Cosmo. You can touch the fence. It looks like you're in a box at the game.

You are. Yeah. Yeah. It destroyed reality because we were watching a West Coast game. We were in Dallas. It was dark outside But I was watching a game and as the sun was going down in Eugene, Oregon I that's where I felt like I was in the world

Is that like you do you buy a ticket for that or is it just a bar? Yeah, you buy a ticket Well, there's two sides one side is oh, it's almost like a sports book Wall of TVs and you have every game in the world on the other side, they have one specific game that's going to be in the dome. This week, it'll be those two games back to back, I think. God, there's so many good games. Like, if you're a Texas fan, you have to go watch that in Dallas.

That's the move. Did you see Coward? Yeah, he was in the hallway. Doucheyous video of all time. Oh, yeah, you're talking about the one about Lincoln? Halftime, I saw this video, and I didn't even listen to it at first, but his face. I don't know, I don't think anyone, I think he's doing it as a bit, like to be as douchey as possible.

Can you find it, TJ? It gave me chills. This is when USC was up 20 to 6 against Penn State halftime. This is like the worst version of Johnny Knox. Some of you guys are going to owe Lincoln Riley an apology. Oh, 10 teams can handle coming out

west. The sunshine. Yeah. Fractions of L.A. Probably not. Oh, look at the halftime score on a Cosm. Oh, they're in a commercial.

Whatever. I don't hold grudges. Apologies accepted. And then Pence, they win one of the games. Oh my God. Which was perfect. That was a duet, but at least he's really funny. Some of you guys are gonna owe Lincoln, Riley an apology.

And then he raised one eyebrow. Yeah, in the corner. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. I don't hold grudges.'s kind of like Trump ask oh my god did you do anything like Dallas oriented Brandon had some barbecue yeah we had a lot of bar they got like the most restaurants per capita or maybe not

anymore well they might but I had some I had some really good brisket some brisket pastrami, is that what you had? Yeah. Yeah, it was good. How was your handsome friend? You have a good day with him? I had a great day. He was a he we left here and we went straight

to the United Center. We got the Michael Jordan statue. Then we went to Wrigley. We were in Wrigleyville for about two hours. No kidding. We went to the Bean and then we finished the night with Gino's East Deep Dish Pizza. I walked 7.5 miles that day.

Whoa. Yeah, it was big. And we had a good time. He was handsome as fuck. He's more handsome than he used to be. He's very handsome. Yeah. You weren't sore at all the next day?

No, well, I was. Yeah, you were walking weird. I mean, that's just how I walk. I wasn't walking weird. You walked with a limp. That's how I walk now. Really? Yeah, kinda. Ever since you met him? No, ever since I started walking a lot, I don't walk as good. And my arms hanging, my shoulders hurting. Your arms hanging? That's weird. I feel

like your arms are hanging? Arms hanging. My right arm. Go walk. Let's see you walk. The first 20 steps are always the worst well let's see you on huh where do you want me to walk to just walk around the court what that's weird though because like you've been I feel like you've been learning how to walk you should be good at walking right now oh he's you're walking yeah something is which arms hang this is actually how he walks Does he have a busted ankle or slightly sassy robot Yeah, he's uneven oh no tilted

Brandon stick your tongue out Stick your tongue out straight Why I want to see if you're stroking out yeah, I think you're showing signs of a stroke. I'm all right. My arm's hanging. Your arm's hanging. You know what it is? I'm a side sleeper. I am too.

And I think 45 years of side sleeping, this shoulder is finally starting to give out. You don't want to alternate sides? I do, but this one's hanging on pretty good. This one's hurting. They make pillows for side sleeping now. Really? Does it feel like side sleeping if you're on a pillow?

I just switched. I need one of those. What's the best way to sleep? What are you supposed to do? I feel like Kyle has thoughts on this. On your back? Back is how you get to sleep. In a coffin, yeah.

In a coffin? Vampire style? Yeah, that's how the doctors recommend. It's like in a coffin, yeah. In a coffin vampire style. Like this. Yeah, that's how the doctors recommend. It's got to be flat back. Yeah, for your spine. I can't sleep flat back. No. I sleep on my tummy.

I think your dreams are more vivid when you're on your back, too, like your brain floats up. That's how I sleep. They say that's me too, Brandon. Crazy dreams. Oh, a hole for the arm. That's nice. When I wake up, I just flip. I need one of these. That looks comfy. Oh, a hole for the arm. That's nice. When I wake up, I just flip.

I need one of these. That looks comf. Oh, my word. Whoa. That looks so comfy. I don't know. Do you think your arm would feel like it's in jail? Might feel like it's in jail.

Yeah, it would. If it can't move. That is arm jail. But is it both sided? Because I do a lot of flipping back and forth. Why is it called a wife pillow? Yeah, what is that? Oh, there's two two armholes. Oh, that's why it's called. It's got two holes Yeah, there's women, but you're not really allowed to go in the other one You can you try you put the holes wherever you need them

Customize husband oh, oh this is a husband pillow. I've got my wife, which she can do that. Wait, what? That's a weird pillow. That's just... That's the husband pillow? Is that just a... They've always been called that.

Is this a masturbatory pillow? What is that for? Is it for cranking? I don't know. Oh, he's the better pillow guy. Oh that's, you can, that shirt is a pillow you can buy. Like a dude. What?

Oh that's, that's a pillow. That's a pillow. Oh that's so creepy. That has to just be wrapped around some of the worst looking women. Oh. Yeah looking like uh. Look at her.

Mamie Eisenhower. Ha ha ha ha. Mamie? Hello. Uh Mamie Eisenhower. Hello. Mamie. Hello. Mamie. She's on the husband pillow. That's a handsome woman. $109. That's $100?

That's a lot. That's $270? It's on sale, T. That's for an ex-husband. A medium husband. I don't think you buy a small husband, do you? But then again, you don't want a really fat husband. You don't want a fat husband.

So I think your old husband's probably the highest seller. Yeah, interesting stuff, the pillow biz. Pillow biz. Yeah. Some of the replies to your college football tweets make me want to respawn as a jungle cat. Yeah. The only purpose in life. Go on. Hunt, kill, and devour inferior species. Kyle. How do they? I just can't accept that they are allowed to just do that. Saturdays are an interesting time. Saturdays are an interesting time.

Saturdays are, I don't know what it is about College For All that makes people homicidal in their tweets, like it's... But it's like a brand of person. It is, they're all very similar. It's like they're almost indistinguishable from AI. All I said was, I thought that ball was catchable. And then there you go, I get probably 300 probably 300 of those career career total death threats you did get saved oh 50 50 yeah did you guys see Stu fighters interpretation of Brandon Walker's

origin story to Barstool Sports he was wrong you know he was a hundred percent right you find a TJ he had the story down perfect. I may I may watch their own clip That's what it was the advisors clip Stu is on fire I think it's my new is my new orders a story turning to Brandon in the middle of the show being like be honest Did you even go to high school? Yeah, I'm gonna take Cowboys plus That this one's good to take the number take the home dog Pray to God game and pray to go to God could be Lord

Jesus pray to God Moses Allah any of them pray to God equal opportunity when you're gambling you're on your knees praying Everyone has been there. Everyone knows how it is. And this is the type of great a God Everyone has been there, everyone knows how it is, and this is the type of game. I don't think Moses qualifies. Not in your religion, no. But he, 5,000 before your people walked around and started buttfucking dogs here. Yeah, he was around. We're not buttfucking dogs. This guy's a fucking theology major.

We're not buttfucking dogs. It sounds like you're buttfucking dogs. Moses spoke to God, got the Ten Commandments. What's that got to do with me, buttfucking dog? Moses is out with Jesus. spoke to God got the Ten Commandments sounds like Jesus you made you made My God. Pig. I have never butt fucked a dog. Let me ask you a question, Stu. A pig, a cow, a sheep? Stu, would you say that a guy who has to make a statement on the record saying he's never butt fucked dogs, probably butt fucked a dog. I would bet everything I own that a pig, a cow, his cousin in an entry-

First of all. In an entry would be a fucking like Pickham. But yeah, find the origin story. He has he has Brandon. He introduced Brandon to the to the Barstool Sports Advisors. I'm ever in Barstool Sports Sports Advisors history. Brandon. Walk. This man Brandon Walker. This man... Brandon Walker!

This man has one of the biggest brains I've ever seen in my entire life, right in that head. I ain't scared of you, mother... I ain't scared of you, mother... Kick it! I love sex! These two things you're doing yourself right now. That's fine.

No, this ain't it either. No, this ain't it either. When you said I love... Good episode. It was a really good episode. I'll find it and send it to you. He nailed Brandon's origin story. This ain't it either. No, this ain't it either. When you said I loved it. Good ass episode. It was a really good episode. I'll find it and send it to you.

He nailed Brandon's origin story. You did great, Brandon. I had a very fun time having you on there. Yeah, it was good. Felt good. You're a showman. I've racked up my first appearance on PMT and sports advisors in the last three months.

Damn. God damn. Moving up in the world. Racking them up. Racking them up. Here we go, guys. been a sports advisor. I've been sports advisors the last three months damn damn moving up in the world racking them up racking them up. Here we go. guys stopping me now. to an ad brandy. while I send this to

you. I just ripped my hamstring apart. What? Yeah, that's fine. Everyone loves talking about our friend Steven Singer. You've seen the billboards and you've heard the expression a million times, I hate Steven Singer. But do you know why? Most other jewelers hate him because Steven Singer has the best quality,

real, natural diamond jewelry at the very lowest possible price every single day. He's got no phony sales, fake discounts or pricing games, no nonsense ever. Just easy and fun. That's why he is a jeweler that you can trust. Steven also has the best guarantee in the jewelry business, a full 100 day, 100% money back guarantee, plus an unbeatable full value lifetime upgrade on center diamonds, diamond stud earrings, and solitaire pendants.

Plus free shipping both ways, no one does real diamond jewelry better. That's it, CJ. Visit our friend, Steven Singer, in his showroom at the other corner of 8th and Walnut and Philly or online at I hate Steven Singer.com. Steven Singer jewelers. That's I hate Steven Singer.com. 8.8. Brandon Walker literally robbed Dave Portnoy. Dave Portnoy made a bet with Brandon Walker years ago and Brandon Walker said **** you. I ain't paying you." -"The fuck are you doing?"

Then they fired Brandon. Brandon needed a job. He was on the street corner, petting his mouth, blowing guys. No, no, no, no. And they said, -"They said, Brandon, I want you to work for me." -"No, I never blew Dave Portnum away."

No, you were blowing random people. I... That part's true. That part's true. Then he drove from halfway across the country, he was in the office, started fighting people in the office, pushing people, and now he arguably is in the top five or six producers at Barstool. Ern. Top five or six. Penalty in his mouth. All correct.

No. That is his origin story. That's your introduction to Barstool's fun and fun. Stu probably thinks that's actually true. Yeah. I think he does. The only lie was you're a top five earner. Correct.

I started to correct him on that one too. He is something special that Stu Fighter. I fucking love him. He introduced me to the Barstool audience like I just started last week. Yeah. I didn't know who you were. What shows do you still have yet to make an appearance on?

Fishbowl. You've done Chicks in the Office, haven't you? Not Chicks in the Office. BFFs, I got to call in for that one next week. Pretty much everything out of Chicago, except no, I've only been on the draft. I've never been on a mainline episode of Barstool Chicago or whatever.

A dog walk? Come on Wednesdays with us. Free swim. You can talk about whatever you want. Really? Yeah. Might do it. Literally anything you want. Been on Wake Up Minzy a lot. Yeah. Have you? Yeah, that's the one I put on my resume. I've been on that, how many?

So Mince makes, Mince goes out and he gets himself guests and whenever the guests cancel he always comes straight to me because he knows I'm going to be here that morning and he says, hey Kirk Herbstreet canceled, can you do 15 minutes on Wake Up Minzy tomorrow? I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it.

And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'm like yeah I'm gonna do it. And then I'mcy's beast ring. Not bad. Do you enjoy your time on the program? I don't mind it. That's a fun environment. That is a good tactic.

If you want a big guest, tell them that a bigger guest just canceled. Whoa. Make them feel like that. You think he's fibbing to me? Just a tactic in general. Kyle, you still need to go and wake up Mincy. Well, yeah.

I don't know about need. I don't know what. People need you, too. Kyle you still need to go and wake up mincy. Well. Yeah the need Yeah, not neither one what is it there? could It's not should either how you come on wake up You're able to go and wake up and you're not ready or willing you physically can yeah Physically yet and atomically I don't know physically you'd even allow On paper you

You could. Theoretically. Yeah. TJ, did you get an answer about the deadline? No. Oh, do you know that we have somebody waiting for the gauntlet? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was going to wait until like, you know, 1.30. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't know if you knew. Yeah, no, we do. He does all of our sporkles. Yeah. I want to sell. He does all of our sporkles. I want to sell you. Yeah, you bail on the sporkles. So bad. In flesh. You want to do it now?

No, I just I didn't know if you knew. I didn't know if you knew. Where is he? He's here. And there's his lovely wife, Nora. Yeah. So Danny makes our sporkles for us. He's a fucking, like, shoe.

Yeah, follow him on sporkles. Let's get those numbers. And he's going to run the gaunt us. He's a fucking like yeah follow months for you Let's get those numbers, and he's gonna run the gauntlet. He's visiting in town. He's gonna run the gauntlet, but he's a all-time yak Like contribute yeah, he's a contributor part of the show. We own currency look at this Do you think you could ace every one of these? I guess he does absolutely absolutely not did he just come out here? Let's do it now Yeah, yeah, also gotta say just the nicest guy ever great both really nice people Now in here before he was here a lot of people were yeah, yeah me and Kate Yeah, it would be funny though tremendous dick. Oh

Yeah Fuck you guys. Yeah. I own this place. All right, so Danny, you, so you watch the act from New Jersey. Watch the act, and then what made you, thank you, first of all. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Thank you, seriously, because you are, like I said, like a big, like a shadowy big figure of this show.

Gauntlet wouldn't exist because we would stop. Yeah, we wouldn't want to do it ourselves. What made you think, like, oh, I can help these guys out? It was back when you guys were still in New York. You were doing the just sparkles during episodes, and you started to ask for people to make them because there weren't enough good ones, grab bags. So I got bored one day, made a couple,

and then from then on I've just been Trying to keep up with you guys every time you run the gauntlet. I try and make another one too That's awesome. How many do you think you've made total? I think I just finished 102 Wow, but there was ones before that that I don't count as official there's just like random have you ever lied or made a factual error? Oh, definitely made factual errors. I'm an idiot, you know?

So I Google the questions, put it in, and then wrong. Do you get excited when you trip someone up? Yeah. That's got to give you a thrill being like, Dan, that was a good sporkle. It's definitely funnier when people are idiots. Yeah. Yeah. like that's got to give you a thrill being like, Dan, that was a good sparkle. It's definitely funnier when people are idiots. Yeah. Yeah. It's great.

So when you saw Spencer Torkelson not get Tiger for a lot of young people. That was probably a highlight. I was dying. Yeah, you befuddled the entire Detroit Tigers organization. Mm hmm. Yeah. Definitely fun.

Definitely nice. That might have been what got them on that run. A worst answers compilation would be cool. Yeah. Yeah, that would be cool. There's been some bad ones. Not trying to give you more work, Danny, but yeah, get on that.

Need that by the end of tomorrow for the book. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, a trivia section of the book where you have to guess what the person said. Yeah. Not the right answer. It's not a bad idea. All so are you, did you do the golem the first time you were here? No because nobody else was here and you had the mini golf

set up. Okay so this is exciting. Are you nervous? Yeah I mean I don't want to make a fool out of myself on the golem, on the sporkle. Yeah I mean it's your sporkle. What if you make a fool out of yourself on the athletic part of it? I got no problem with that. OK. That's good. It happens. That's a really good ad. Even with your lady here watching?

I mean, if she wants to run, I think she'll beat me. So it happens. Damn, that would versus wife? Whoa. But no pressure. No pressure on her. OK, so we're getting it set up. Lukey.

Would you say this is the first time someone's more nervous for the sporkle section than the physical one? Oh, I think everyone's always nervous about it. Really? Yeah. Because most of them don't even understand what it is. That or like, what do we have to prove that we're good at this out here? But like base level knowledge, you could really ruin a reputation.

The sporkle is easy though because you're just winded, you don't know what's going on, so it's easy to be like, oh, I couldn't't even read that but people do ham it up, right? I didn't know the rules. Yeah. Wait what we're not gonna give you any help. Yeah No, definitely no help and I mean, I just want to be Cam Newton so I can talk shit. Okay, that's fair Would you talk shit? Oh, absolutely. Okay. He'd beat you up. Oh, yeah first. Okay, okay with his hat on Yeah, stay on wouldn't even have to take it off. He's taller, he's better looking, more athletic, but if I beat him in this, I mean, I got him.

You got something. I got him. All right, so where's Malsec? Do we have him? He's gotta be around. He's wearing a Cosby sweater. He's a very quaffed hairdo today. A lot of gel.

Is Cosby the end quaffed? Maybe he saw somebody this past weekend. Perhaps. What's that called? Girlfriend air? Whenever you get a girl and you start looking better? Oh, I've never heard that. I've heard of the glow up after a breakup, but not.

Well, I guess in the beginning you're trying to trick somebody into thinking you're better than you are. Yeah. Worked on Pat. Really? Then you let yourself go. Well, you baby-trapped him.

Yeah, oh. That's the quickest way. Is that whole dating game thing, the aura that's now gone, and he's just back to gay? He was gay during the whole that. OK, well, that's not. He never left, yeah. He was trying to.

He was perpetually gay. He was trying to get through it. I don't know, judging by what he was dressed in today, he's definitely taking some hints from this show. Oh, wait, was he dressed like a queer? Yeah, fuck, he did. Yeah, I was you dress like a queer Yeah, he's embracing fall Get this guy out here

All right, where is he There he is, oh yeah Whoa? There he is. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Malisek. Yeah, I did a double take this morning. What are you doing? People need to know you. Oh, there he is. He plays it off like all this.

If anybody changes anything about them, it's hell going into work. I know. Yeah, he's trying to... He's like a late-90s J.Crew ad. Jerry wore jeans yesterday and everybody was Harry. What the fuck? Yeah, we're trying to fucking prove. That's a lot for a Monday. I'll say that Every time I wash my hair Like I'm gonna get complimented so hard. Yeah, the culture we have said here is just shaming anyone

Against any type of self-improvement against any type of self-improvement. Yeah. It really is. It's a great culture. If you try even a little bit to make yourself better. This summer I wore a skirt one time, and you guys just destroyed me. You're like, who do you think you are?

I never wore it again. Big Cat, you're the reason I won't get contacts. You'd be so mad at me. Yeah, I'd be so mad. I wore a flannel last week, and everyone's like, oh oh you're trying real hard You were though Nailed me you got me good. All right, we ready Brandon Can we not fight the football getting the football is secret to getting the Sporkle set up?

Because it feels like it's taking so long. Che the one who runs it. Wait, we're going real football? They don't have the green one? Well, that's Blutman's fault. He's always playing with it. Blutman. Oh, Blutman.

Oh, by the way, this is the... Nope. Good one one TJ. Thanks. T.J. How about Rutgers football. Yeah pretty much abysmal ass piece of shit. Pretty bad. They're back. Wait wait wait wait wait. Hey hey. Hold on. Who did they play. Wisconsin the Wisconsin Badgers. That's where you went to school, right? Oh, man You got me get him guff Razzle a bit The score TJ was it 35 7 I stopped by those 42 baby make sense

Were you in a bunch of Rutgers gears was happening TJ? I sure was You thought you're gonna win your favorite I had I texted TJ very Text on Saturdays like hey, man. Sorry. I know you really thought you were gonna win this game, but Wisconsin's bad, but we're never gonna be Rutgers Purdue bad. I made him feel better. I was like, there's levels to this, man. You gotta understand that.

Go get your shine box. I asked Brandon to text Jimbo Fisher for me. That's the point where I am right now. For West Virginia? Yeah. Yeah, I bet West Virginia, that was bad. Iowa State? Yeah, pretty good.

They're pretty good, right? Pretty good. Yeah, they're pretty good. But the hype around the game, I changed my profile picture to black and white. Oh. The coal miners. Yeah.

It was cool. That's what they were on? Yeah, they're all wearing helmets and shit. All right, ready, Brandon? Ready, Danny? All right, here we go three two one go Here we go here. We go. Oh my god. He fucking sucks. Oh My god, oh

Hello approach yeah stealthy what oh almost get him Jake oh yes oh smart Yeah! He's doing well. 37 seconds. This could be tough because it's not the usual. It is a small ball though. High. Right on it. Uh-oh, it lost it.

Now he's gone. Not on it. Now he's gone. Oh, man. Cover his wife's eyes. Has anybody it. Now he's gone. Oh man. Cover his wife's eyes. Has anybody checked in on Caleb since he got double chaed? No.

Oh no. What do you mean he got double chaed? He got double chaed. Double chaed. Double chaed. He got chaed. He needs to smorkle. So you know when somebody gets chaed?

Yeah. Double. Twice? Yeah. Probably deleted Twice? Yeah. Probably deleted all of his accounts. You have to. Step in a little. His Sporkle time is a...or his Gauntlet time.

Oh, he's Cam Newtoning. Two Chays. Oh! Step up a little. Yeah, get right up there. Oh no. Fr No frustration is growing Danny Danny. Oh boy. Oh boy Danny This makes me feel better cuz I suck at sporkle so bad. Yeah, this is good

This is yeah, and occasion kind of rooting against fartic to watch he's enemy number one. Yeah We can't bail him out. No, he's got it. He's got to make it there it is Kim Newton being the only guy that ever got bailed out of football. It's very funny It's a high shot high shot. Yeah, Oh. Wow, it's a high shot. High shot. Yeah, no offense to Danny, I would swat this fucking shot so far. Look where he's releasing from.

I'm talking 20 rows deep. 20 rows where I would swat this thing. Where he's shooting from, I want to physically go out there and just maybe you should. Yeah, I do. He's acting like there's a seven foot defender. Yeah. You see in this tightest break a light. What the fuck out of this? Look where he's releasing from. Yeah. Oh, go do one. You have time. Yeah, he goes. Father of two. Yeah! There he goes.

Father of two. Oh! We got a bumwheel? Uh oh. What was cams time? Five something? Yes, it went that. Four fifty six. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Nora, are you watching this?

I certainly am. Oh no. Hey, he's the brains. Oh yeah. Alright, moment of truth. Here we go. Cornelius, the MCAT, GRE, GMAT. You want to go in order? No. For you to know them all?

Enema of the state, California. California should be twice 14 pounds 13 pounds 12 Belichick oh you don't know the answers to your own quiz focus on the suicide Ewing rarely is that ever good advice And Duncan Good job Danny. See where you are. Oh you did it. You did it. You beat him.

Yeah he did. Cam Newton can definitely suck my dick. Oh yeah. Keep going. Get him. Get him. Do you see that. Cam Newton is the fucking worst athlete of all time. Yeah. That is the worst. I mean I'm better looking. worst. I mean, I'm better looking. He's maybe taller, but I'm better looking, better dressed, and that guy cannot do shit if I can beat him in the sport. Oh, you hate him. Yeah, he hurts you.

I just thought that. Danny, can I ask her a favor? I want to see your shot up close again. Yeah, show me. Oh, I thought it was pretty good. So don't change anything. It definitely hurts. Maybe shoot a little higher. What was the shot you were doing?

Uh oh, here he comes. Oh no! Yeah. Got him. Oh. If he makes this big, this big cat has to quit. Oh! Oh! Okay. quit okay I don't know why I wasn't just shooting a regular shot but I tried to dribble that ball the first time I was like yeah we don't have a pump in here do you do well yeah you did well. Yeah, you did. That was a good time.

Football gave you some fits. Football definitely was harder than I expected. Do you want to risk your wife beating you? Oh, yeah. Does she want to do it, nor do you want to do it? You know what? I'll do it. Yeah, come on, come on.

Get up there. She's gonna beat me, I'm calling her. All right, we're rooting for her. Just so you know. I am too. Okay. Now, you don't say that. Are you rooting for her? You're not rooting for her. There's no way you're rooting for her just so you know. I am too. Okay. Now you don't say that. Are you rooting for her?

You're not rooting for her. There's no way you're rooting for her. Outwardly, yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but inside. Oh no. Listen, she can't hear us right now. No.

You want to. I want her to lose, but be not that bad. Like four to six minutes. No, no, no, no, no, be honest. No, seriously. Be honest. You want her to be worse than Jeff T. Lowe. No. Be honest, do you want to beat worse than jeff t. Low. No be honest

Do you want to beat your wife? Yeah, we'll put that as a headline Well, we should clarify which Danny Danny see what's ready Nora where we're Brandon go is your last name car with a c2 Wait, where's Brandon Brandon? You don't need him. All right. All right. Here we go Nora. I think she said we do need him Yeah, we do need always shirking Responsibilities There's Brandon. Here we go. I'm getting him and Brandon sharing a stall.

Okay, tell her when to go. 3, 2, 1, go! Oh no. Okay. Almost. Your wife stinks, dude. Ha ha ha ha. Focus, yeah! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Still. All right, is Malice that gonna go all out? Yes. There's no need to impress a lady. That's true. My brother had that sweater in the 90s, I feel like. Oh! There!

Oh! Holy shit, did that work? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, so close. They are the first couple to ever be alone together in the Wilcompton Bathroom Museum. Ever what? They were the first couple ever alone together in the Wilcompton Museum. Oh, oh. What are you implying, Kate? I don't know. I took him on the tour. I dropped him off. I said have fun in there, oh. What are you implying, Kate? I don't know. I took him on the tour. I dropped him off. I said have fun in there, kids.

How long did you give him? Uh, the usual amount that I would need. About 30 seconds? 30 seconds, yep. 30 seconds, that's a quick shit. Oh my god. Wait. If we don't have a pump, we should have slowly man. I did mine underhand.

Yeah. There we go. She's going to wreck me. Wait a minute. Big cat swaps her. Uh-oh. All right. Bank is open. You've been on into this people's bank. Kick his ass Nora.

Kick his ass. Nine states have three bordering states. Alright, summer house. Nice. Winter house. Winter house Martha's Vineyard. Nice winter house Winter house Martha's Vineyard Pipples

Great Danes. Oh. Oh, Akitas. That should be on. Nine US states have three bordering states. Just go just rip off random states. Okay. Vermont. Yeah. Massachusetts. Yeah, um Massachusetts New Jersey That's us

Okay Jack white white stripes. Oh, yes. Yes seven faces on us currency Start naming some presidents RAC raconteurs You're giving tj raconteurs instead of saying washington Benjamin franklin James madison All right. James Madison. Lincoln. Lincoln. Nice. You're about to beat him. Uh an NFL player to rush for over to uh

um Tom Brady. Uh Gronkowski. Gronkowski. Uh rush. One dollar bill is what you wanna do. I don do you want to do the one He fledger Bad how many do I got it you got it you got it 439 you lost nearly lost Area is the sporkle Bad sporkle classic dan damn yeah

yeah that's his fault will this be an argument later? okay i'm glad i won like realistically i'd want him to win yeah oh by nine seconds for sure thrill it but you also did beat Cam Newton.

You beat Cam Newton? Yeah. That's some shit. Yeah. I know. I have nothing but nice things to say about him. You played for the Patriots. He was terrible.

Well good job. Well thank you, Nora. Thank you. Thank you guys. Yeah, hang out in the booth. It's awesome to have you guys here. Thank you again, Danny. Yes.

Danny, you're dope. Thank you guys. Truly, you help us so much. Absolutely. One last thing before I go. I have a great idea. It's a terrible idea, but you again Danny. Yes. Thank you guys. Truly you help us so much absolutely one last thing before I go Yes, great idea. It's a terrible idea, but okay. Yeah Yeah, that's what we like. I want you guys to sell in your store a towel a wet wheel towel Oh one side says wet and the other side says dry oh Makes no sense at all. It's very stupid, but I would definitely buy it. What would you do with it?

You would use it as a towel. As a towel, but only the one half? Only the half. Yeah, we'd use the one half. The wet half or the dry half? Just keep using the wet half? Use the wet half. Oh.

Because that would make it wet. Right, and then you'd keep the other half dry. Another dry half would be facing down toward the same way. It should also be round. Are you on drugs, Danny? I like round. Round you on drugs? Like I like round around Around towel and if you buy a couple of them you get a wheel reset towel. Oh This is okay. Yes one of them. Yeah round towel no one's ever done that before one of them's a curled up or whipping

Yeah, and it's and it is wet and it's wet and it comes we should sell a wet And I'll just come to your house one more Titus Thank you with your ass. Oh man. All right, we'll be the worst shape towel triangle Octagon star shape will be tough. Oh, yeah Star be bad. Yeah Circle. Yes would be bad, yeah. Circle? The circle beast? Star shape towel would be bad. Towels are perfect.

Yeah, I think they got towels right. There's some things that can't be improved. Shopping cart. 90 feet between buildings. Ooh, I don't know about shopping carts. They fit into each other nicely. The wheels always fuck up though. I think they did real good on shopping carts.

They did damn good on shopping carts. They did, yeah. I don't know, have you seen the new, the smaller shopping carts that have like a big thing on top and then a bigger thing on, like they're... I don't like how I feel pushing that. But those are objectively better for getting them around the grocery store.

Yeah, yeah. They kind of perfected that one. They just improved the basket too, where it's like, yeah, that one's worse. No, that's worse. Then you'll bump into everyone. At the Marianos here, people like wait for the people. For those ones?

Yeah, people like, I like the big old ones. You can put a kid in them. I don't like, Yeah, I mean, the kid slots are actually, those are genius. We need cup holders on all of them though. I don't understand why some, Phone holders.

Yeah, phone holders too, yeah. Yeah. If you're drinking something, you gotta... What else did we get right? I don't know. Lasagna. Uh... I hate lasagna.

Shouldn't have been ricotta. So, I don't think so. Wow. I'm anti-lasagna. French fries. This many people are anti-lasagna. There's too many deviations of French fries. Yeah, true. Yeah, no, lasagna. There's too many deviations of french fries. Yeah, true.

Yeah, no lasagna. Yeah, I... No. Wow. I didn't know we had so many... The tab to open up drinks. The pop tab. Those can sometimes...

Rarely, rarely, rarely. Inside the NBA. Yeah, we got that right. That did. Now we're... We piss that away, that's gonna leave. Yeah. But we got it right, though.

Socks are pretty good. How could they be worse? I am gonna say... How could they be worse? Now we're piss out of way that's gonna leave. Yeah, but we got we got it right though socks are pretty good How could they be worse? I? I'm gonna say better sock quality has gone down. No kid all our socks are getting holes in them now these days Yeah, we're gonna buy more sorry yet your feet your feet's feet are getting The basketball is right

No, it'd be cool if it was lime green it's an ugly color, huh, yeah Things that we got right door knobs. Are they perfect? They get the job done. That's not perfect It's one of my biggest pet peeves when doors You always oh boy steering wheel doors like steering wheels are the right size Yeah Oh boy. Steering wheels are the right size. Yeah. Frisbee's perfect. I'll just say it, the toilet? No.

No? It's not very comfy. Well what? Could be more comfortable. Okay. Sorry. That's all right, you're trying. I am trying.

Lasagna and toilet's all I got. A recliner toilet? Oh my God. Could you shit while rec all I got. A recliner toilet. Oh my god. Could you shit while reclining or is your ass? I don't think so. Well that's the hole would have to be an oval that kind of comes up. I think your ass needs, your hole needs a certain amount of tension on it. Right?

It needs some uncomfortability to it. We got 4th of July right. Having us get independence in the middle of summer. We got lucky that our independence fell on the 4th of July. Like imagine if 4th of July was in the middle of summer. We got lucky that our independence fell on the 4th of July. Like imagine if 4th of July was in the middle of January. Yeah. That would suck. Yeah.

We nailed that. Yeah. Just the name itself. Yeah, we fucking nailed that. Happy 4th of July. Yeah, 4th of July in the middle of January would suck. Yeah. Make no sense.

We did nail that. They named it perfectly, too. They named it perfectly. It's the perfect summer holiday. That would suck if it was in the middle of the winter. Yep. Try to do fireworks in like February. You ever done New Year's fireworks?

I've seen them. Yeah. They nailed New Year's too. It happens right in the New Year. Every year. It's in the middle of the winter. It's in the middle of the school year. Thanksgiving they nailed.

Thanksgiving is a perfect time. Thanksgiving they nailed. Yeah. But Thanksgiving too. And on a Thursday so we always of the school year. Thanksgiving, they nailed. Thanksgiving is a perfect time. Thanksgiving, they nailed. Yeah. But Thanksgiving, too. And on a Thursday, so we always get the Friday off. It's a kickoff to the Christmas season. Christmas season is perfect. Oh, I love Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving's the best holiday.

Thanksgiving's awesome. Thanksgiving is, you don't have to do anything religious. You can just sit and watch football and eat food. There's always one family member you don't want there. Yeah, of course. If we just get holidays right, which holiday would you move? Christmas is fine, Christmas is good, Thanksgiving is good. I could do without Easter. Halloween is exactly where it should be. Halloween is perfect. For what it is. Yeah. St. Patrick's Day could be a

toss. New Year's in the summer would be incredible. New Year's in the summer would be incredible. What about an earlier Halloween so you don't have to worry about it being cold? Like, Halloween I guess the fun of like the crisp air in the haunted house but like- You need to get dark. October 1st Halloween. Last year when it was snowing and then you have to throw on your coats and you can't even wear your costume. That sucked.

That stinks. That sucked. Remove that risk. Super Bowl is just an impossible dilemma because February sucks, but where else would you put it? They need to put it, they're so close, it's going to happen. Saturday? Add one more?

No, not Super Bowl Saturday. Kate, God damn it. I hate this. Kate, what are you talking about? What? Kate. It's Super Bowl Sunday. It's Saturday?

Wouldn't it be so much better on a Saturday everyone's drinking everyone's party Rosemary Kennedy over here Sunday sucks, but I don't like that you came up with it Imagine Super Bowl Saturday, that's a a great idea. Sunday sucks for them. But I don't like that you came up with it. OK. Imagine Super Bowl Saturday. That's a fucking great idea. That would be pure bliss and euphoria. No, but what I was going to say, because, Kate, that actually is a very good idea, but they're very close.

I think what's going to happen is in the next few years, they're going to add another week, and it will be Super Bowl Sunday will be the Sunday before President's Day. So Monday will be a holiday. Smart. That would be perfect. That would be nice.

So yeah, Super Bowl Saturday would rock. I feel like the bars are missing. I feel like people go way harder. They would. They would. Would you change your birthday? I wouldn't. I got a springtime birthday. I'm good. I wouldn't. I got a springtime birthday.

I'm good. I wouldn't hate having a spring. Spring, I think, is a good birthday month. You got January. Mine is exactly six months from Christmas, before and after Christmas. That's perfect. It's perfect, yeah.

That is perfect. It's a good birthday. I think you'd only want to change it if it was too close to another holiday. Mine sucks. Yours sucks. Yeah, no. Ours sucks. January sucks. It's the worst month. And I don't know If you got... Mine sucks, yours sucks. Yeah, no.

It's too close to those. Our sucks, January sucks. It's the worst month. And I don't know if you did this when I was a kid, I was like, yeah, I'm happy I have a January birthday, like there's nothing else to do in the winter. No, the kids who had the late spring birthdays. That's it.

You wanna be in school. You gotta be in school still, but those birthdays are the best. Wait, let's figure out what the best birthday is No, you eat summer birthday rule, dude Not be more wrong. I'm outside 930 What the class I want my friends Friends aren't guaranteed Friends you have friends aren't guaranteed

Summer there's still no, but they're not always summer you cut out the losers in school. It's friends only we go to the water park What if one of your friends out of town of the water park? Yeah I'm a summer birthday and There's a lot that can go wrong Yeah, the worst was being in college and all my friends turned 21 because I'm a June birthday in junior year of college all my friends are 21 and I wasn't. And that sucked. I feel like May, April, May is a perfect. You want to be in school on your birthday? I don't want to be in school.

That's crazy. Like Kate, all my friends were at the bars. I wasn't. It sucked. Wouldn't you rather be off on your birthday? No, because no we're saying school so that your friends are still, like in case your friends go away for summer, camp and shit. And we went to a private school, so like you got

to dress down day on your birthday, you were turning heads. But you're only doing it as a kid. What is the best birthday to have for your whole life? Well, yeah, but like kid is like, again, like the biggest. Birthday doesn't give a fuck about my birthday. Yeah, but maybe you would if it were April 29th.

But if you ask a kid, what do you want to do on their birthday? There's no kid in the world that starts with go to school. Well, then they have their party on the week. Not a single one. Although my birthday when I was a kid did fall on the Super Bowl many times, that ruled. Did it? Yeah.

It was earlier then. Just be like, my birthday's Super Bowl Sunday? That's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. And the Cowboys would just kill someone, and that would be it. Yeah. I got a kid who's got a Thanksgiving birthday.

That sucks. And it sucks, but it doesn't suck because they're out of school. Yeah, but... They get to have a day. They get to have a whole day to themselves. Sometimes it's a day after Thanksgiving, which is a good day. What's the worst birthday? December 26th?

Or 25th. I have a cousin who's born on... 26th. I'm December 27th. You are? Never had a birthday party in my life. Let's do one this year. Oh. I'm gonna be in London. I'm gonna be watching our show.

What about now? What about now? Oh, let's do, we have to have a birthday for you. Wait, Zao, change your birthday, pick a day. December the 8th. Why would you keep it December? Why'd you go back to December? No, because that's when I leave to go get my visa done.

Well, you can do it whenever. Yeah, pick any day. It'll be your new birthday. I like to keep my month. It won't feel right. OK. It won't feel right. December 1st, then.

How about that? Sure. It's Zah's birthday. There we go. It's like those viral videos where the mom holds a party for the kid, no one comes, then he ends up having a new party, which is like 50,000 people.

Yeah. Let's do it. Nobody showed up to eat grandpa's hamburgers. That always kind of sucked, though. No one comes, then he ends up having a new party, which is like 50,000 people. Yeah. Let's do it. Nobody showed up to eat grandpa's hamburgers. Yeah, that always kind of sucked though. They're like, yeah, everyone write a letter to this person. He should get a bead. He doesn't want sympathy.

Thanks. Trent. Yeah, every letter's a reminder that you're a fucking loser. Yeah. TJ, let's talk this out. I saw your text. So we could do it.

It's not, it has to be 96 pages. We can fill 96. That's the recommended amount of pages. All right, let's do 96. Yeah. That it has to be 96 pages. We can fill my that's the Recommended amount of people. All right, let's do 96 If we did the ten of us Be a little less than ten pages per easy. Yep. Plus we could collaborate on what pages group page we can't do 97 96 was the recommended minimum. I guess a lot of these are gonna just be pictures to yeah We submit a 95 page book and they're just like, what the fuck is this?

What are we supposed to do with this? We never did the wheel for our pictures. Oh yeah. We're still going to do the pictures, right? Yeah, yeah. If we do less pages, it should cut down production time, but not a guarantee. And then, and if we get, when do we have to submit it by?

She's figuring that out. Okay. So maybe we'll do, maybe we'll do the wheel for the pictures tomorrow. We should do so everyone come in with a place and a costume and we'll put them all on the wheel. I like that. Yeah. This book is going to rock. No? Yeah, no, it is. It is going to rock. I like the idea of like we all bring in our things, but we don't know until we see the book what the whole book is.

Yeah. Yeah, there should be some... Truly a mystery. There should be some sections we collaborate on, but otherwise... Yeah, because then duplicates would be funny. Yeah. Both these people, yeah. So everyone should try to come up with seven, let's call it seven pages each, and then leaves

us, you know, 20 plus to do collaborations on. Yeah. I think I missed the very first part of the show. Nope. Place? Nope, we're not going to explain it. Place costume?

No, no, no. You're going to have to... Just come with a place and a costume. Figure it out, Danny. A costume idea or an actual... Idea. Okay. Figure it the fuck out, Danny.

Place. But the place can be anything because we're going to use the green screen. All right, I got mine. What is it? I figured it the fuck out, can't can be anything because we're gonna use the green screen all right I got mine what is it the fuck out can't tell you that's for tomorrow what's your second idea for a place I'm gonna go with the waterpark capital of the world Wisconsin Dells yeah indoor water I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. What about you? You first. Yeah, you go and then I'll say. No.

You say first. I like them all. Same. Well, that's not... I think some are good and some are just okay. Yeah. I like number three. I'll give it a...

Oh, yeah, those two that I don't like, but the other ones I love. Yeah, I gave it a 776. Yeah, that's around there. The secret track at the end was cool. That's a bold claim. Who's big X-Bug? A rapper.

With a very deep voice. I like Leave Me Alone. I heard he's really good. That's what you're rocking? I heard we're supposed to. I'm going to talk about that later. Yeah. John Summit, we're also supposed to.

Yeah, he's he's more of Like a personality, I think. Yeah Jack McCarthy went all five nights. What? No, he did. He did his poor nostril His nostrils a cast I don't know. I don't know. It's all that caked up. It looks like a cast. Oh I don't know if it's all that caked up, but it looks like a cast. Oh. Oh. That's big X the plug.

Sure is. It checks out. Yeah. Okay. Well, what? Big boy. I like the tattoos. Yeah, and he's like, you get to a certain level of fat

where like you can just have your shirt off. That's when you're on. Yeah, because what's it hiding? Yeah. Oh wow, that guy's fat under that shirt. And he's like, you get to a certain level of fat where you can just have your shirt off all the time. Yeah, because what's it hiding? Oh, wow, that guy's fat under that shirt? You passed the embarrassing part. Yeah. It's a good place to be. Yeah?

It's a huge spot between six pack and that, that you have to have a shirt on. Yeah, it's a big mark. But he's no different than six pack. Those are the only body types where it's OK to have your shirt off. Six pack or that. Yeah, that's a big mark. But he's no different than a six-pack. Right. Those are the only body types where it's okay to ever shirt off. Yeah. Six-pack or that.

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And six-pack is kind of like a try-hard mover. That's a perfect shirtless body. What is it, too? I feel like dudes with six-packs, they just only hang out with other dudes with six-packs? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, how does that work? I've never met those dudes in real life. The Jack guys at my gym all congregateate and they don't work at the gym But they're always there and they go on vacation together regardless of what time I go there They're there and there's always one guy in every picture who has like not a full six-pack and you feel a little bad for him You're like, dude Yeah, you're almost like he's got to be funny. He's the fat guy. Yeah, he's there

Yeah, you're almost like he's got to be funny. He's the fat guy. Yeah, he's there And he's an incredible shape are they gym influencers Kyle No, because they're not filming but if I go at 730 in the morning or 1130 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon They're there Wow I'm trying to figure it out All right, four birthdays today. Tell me who do you think is the most iconic in their respective field? Stephen A. Smith.

Usher. Dwight D. Eisenhower. And Ralph Lauren, the man, not the brand. I got my rankings. I think it's Ralph. Stephen A. Dwight Usher Ralph. I think it's Ralph. It's Ralph even a Dwight Usher Usher ahead of Dwight who's ralph biggest competition Calvin Klein?

Yeah Ralph Lauren, I researched him Maybe squeaky clean like no crazy cons. The Nazi Hugo boss Hugo ball. You go boss. That's right. I Think it's Lauren one for sure Lauren Stephen a So Dwight I've read that Dwight is like considered like one of the best presidents and he was a good military mind No was the Dwight Eisenhower and this is not fact-checked. Do not know anything This is all just shit that I've somehow gleaned, but is not correct. I think Dwight. I'm pretty sure Dwight Eisenhower was the last president who like actively fought against the deep state. It was like, I don't want to do

nuclear war. I don't want to like the CIA is a bad idea. I think I'm probably 100% wrong, but I think I agree Yeah, can you look that up? I'm pretty sure he was like the last good guy who was like, yeah Hey, this is a bad idea to just have like a Part of the government that we can't keep tabs on and there's gonna do coups. I think I think it was the Korean War Yeah, yeah, and he was just like I don't want to do wars everywhere Why yeah, this isn't true either. He walked on at Kansas for one year on the basketball team really yeah And then he decided he didn't want to play basketball anymore again. Not true. We're just saying things I respect that Choose was he the first to say?

Ike is short for Dwight Yeah, that's a big move. Yeah Protected the Little Rock Nine What's the name of the interstate highway? Maybe he did Yeah, he was the president in the 50s. I know but I thought the I thought Little Rock Nine was like in 63 or 64 But you're probably right Shit, maybe Dwight did. Oh, no.

Was he not? Yeah. I was way off. But you said. But you said I'm going to be wrong. Yeah, I like your version. Who was before Dwight? FDR?

Truman? No. No, Truman was the guy who did that then. Harry Truman, nuclear bombed. He was only a one term guy, right? I think he was like, whoopsie, after that. We all make mistakes. Yeah, I think he was like whoopsie after that. We all make mistakes? Yeah, I think he was like, whoops.

Harry Truman, CIA. I read that Nixon was actually like a fun, chill dude when he was just at his house. Apparently he was like a real goofy dad. Really? It's hard to imagine, but. Maybe Truman also did the CIA. I don't know.

I wouldn't just go to the internet for these answers Oh, that's where I came up with these right, but I I don't think you're gonna get very much Truman approved the CIA Truman did that's what it says here. Iowa guy That is the best Jim Carrey movie. I know what Truman show. Yeah. Yeah, it's one of the best movies. Yeah, I Wish I knew more if you had to pick between the four of them. Who would you want to? switch lives with President Stephen A Smith usher under the assumption that usher is guilty. Oh

He's guilty that I was gonna say About Ralph Laurence sweet ass. Like I don't know. White D's on the 50 cent piece, right? He's looking at Mamie. He's dead. The awards. Wait, we want to look at Mamie. I forget. I think TJ, can you?

I don't know. I just I'm going to might regret this. Pull up Mamie Eisenhower. This problem, this Kate, I'm sorry. What for what? I may or may not say. Okay, you you get the floor first. Okay, thank you. Is it Dewey defeats, or true? Come on, she's fine.

Oh. She's fine, it was the hairdo of the day that fucked her up. Oh, now it makes sense, yeah, Dwight was trying to do it. That's the lighting and shadows. I'd rather kill myself. Look how happy they look that's what matters Going bad next to fucking maim every night. Oh

the comma bangs What if the CIA was created just because Dwight didn't want to go home? I got a dude. I'm doing you a baby. Talk about it baby We got to come up with some shit to get away from home why don't they're overthrow Egypt It's either go to with me or kill a kill an upstart move That was the Genesis CIA. It's her fault. For every coup there's an ugly woman. Boy, she is ugly though. Mamie, what a name.

We should have that in the book, a ranking of first ladies. First ladies. Yeah. It's your list of first ladies. Hot or not. Yeah, you make them their own dating profile. Yeah. We put Jackie O in there.

Jackie O is a looker. Fat ass. Yeah, she's attractive. Who else was? I mean, Reagan. Nancy Reagan because of the implication. Right. Do you think Hillary ever had a moment?

Uh... No. That was funny. I saw, did you see Bill Clinton like publicly wished Hillary a happy anniversary? Mm-hmm. Like, incredible spending my life with you. Like, really?

You don't mean that. Yeah, there's been a lot of... Yeah. They're just together for the look now, right? Like, they have been for a while. Yeah, it's happy anniversary, Hillary. It's been an amazing 49 years, has it? Here's to many more.

There's been some ups and downs. I will say the one thing that's cool about, like, old people like that, they that's cool about, like, old people like that, they... When they get, like, so old, they start looking like each other. That's kind of a cool quirk. Yeah. Some, like, dating couples. Why is she always dressed like she's a picnic table?

You better be careful. I think there might be a science to that, like, following, like, the same diet might... Yeah....sleep schedule, like, might... Yeah, always... It's like 101 Dalmatians. ...same skin pigment. Yeah, when all the dog owners look like they're dogs. That they were...

But that was a cartoon. Yeah. But this is real life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, they just end up kind of... Yeah, same diet. You're only outside when they are...

Like, yeah, I guess you would start to... That's true love when you end up looking just like your partner. Millhouse's parents look exactly alike. Yeah, that's true. They were together a while. like your partner millhouse's parents exactly like yeah, that's true They were together a while. I've never seen the Simpsons. What never seen it. Don't you? I pretend don't no no I just I know I know I think we my shorts we missed the boat Yeah, I'm no I swear, but it's like it's like hard to avoid. What do you guys mean? I never is an adult is an adult show and it was very popular when we were too young to enjoy it Yeah, I was a South Park kid then family guy. I never I missed the sense of what?

Always on at all the name of the bar where that was mo's I know that's mo's and they prank called But that like I I know like the gist of things and I pay listen. We're not proud. I played the arcade game Back out. I'm not lying. What's going on Brandon? They're doing a thing. He thinks we're not proud I played the arcade game everybody back out I'm not lying what's going on Brandon they're doing a thing he thinks we're trying to get you guys but we're not doing a thing they're doing a thing Brandon yeah they're doing thing thing thing alarms going off the thing I will watch this I'll start the Simpsons a season one unwatchable no it's not as watchable but it's where do I start start? Season what? Two or three. Twenty-four.

I think my biological... Season three is like the perfect season. Season three to like seven is perfect. Why am I... I'm doing it. Yeah. You're falling for it. I'll watch it. I never had the... I don't... I didn't know where to watch it. It would like... What? This is a show that would just...

Come on. You fucking... You fucking... I'm not doing a thing. I bet you people are age. I'm your age. I Bet you people our age, I'm your age. I've seen plenty of Simpsons your bed bound All the time good all the time in the world Doctor was like good news is you can watch The Simpsons They barely even had it in there. Danny's like, can I go meet the Simpsons? Danny wanted to meet the Simpsons. Danny wanted to meet the Simpsons.

No dumbass. A whole family with jaundice. I want to go to Springfield. Please, Doc. I love you guys. Moron. I've seen the Simpsons, dude. I watch.

You can't recommend the Simpsons. I watch. You can't recommend The Simpsons to someone. It's just on TV. It's on after the show you were just watching. Where was it even start? It comes on after the news. That was Simpsons and then America's Funniest Home Videos. Oh, and then Cops. America, America, this is you. Do, do, do, do.

No, Cops was Friday night, right? Yeah, Simpsons and America's Funniest Videos were Sunday night. Yeah, Cops was Friday night. I had a bad cops experience with my family. I did too. Yeah. What was yours?

Saw my cousin getting arrested. Oh, on the show? Yeah. Did you just happen to randomly be watching? It was just on. It might have been like live PD or so it was a show we saw What do you think would happen if you submit like a viral video to America's funniest home videos? And it's like a Barstool's video you get that I think they just do viral videos now. Don't they are they still wait

It's you will send that to us. Oh, it's not Should we do that I think we should we should solicit That's on it mincy making a grilled cheese or stage like a fall. I used to try and get my family to stage We should do this. We should try to get on America's Funniest Homecoming. Yes, that would be awesome I was like Jeff comes in and knocks the spaghetti out of my hand and you record it with your Yeah, did you try nobody at my family was like, no, we're not doing that. I was in like fourth grade. Thought I was gonna...

Go viral? Yeah, for whatever that was back then. Yeah, that was viral. Remember the Jackalope? There was like a whole series. America's Funniest People, right? That wasn't the same show. Do you know what show? Dave Coulier hosted that show. America's Funniest People, right? Oh. That wasn't the same show.

Do you know what show? Dave Coulier hosted that show. Do you know what show rocked? Cut it out. You obviously loved Brandon because of the guy, but Kids Say the Darnest Things was hilarious. Yeah. That was a very funny show. Have they tried to redo that?

I think, did Steve Harvey try to run it back? Oh, maybe so. That shit was funny. He'd be well equipped for that. I don't think it was as good. You didn't like it? I think he did it. Oh, you're Cosby.

I like the Cosby version. Yeah. That's kind of crazy that he hosted that. Is he in jail? No, he's out. He got out on a technicality. Oh. What is he doing now?

He's trying to do a stand-up tour. I'd go. All right, I wish I had said that. Can we play one of his modern stand-up clips? I was like, Tiffany. Tiffany Haddish? Yeah. Oh, Tiffany Haddish.

I was like, they do say the darnedest things. Sometimes. They really do. Well, we'll submit our own viral videos, then Tommy Walker can go on Kids Say The Darst Things. We pull our money together. Oh, he crushed on that show. Yeah.

I shared a story yesterday on Twitter. I'm wondering, the parents here, Kate and Brandon, when your kids, Brandon, when your kids were little, Kate, your kids were little, would you every now and then, like maybe once every six months, go to wake them up and there would just be puke everywhere in the crib? I, one time I was reading my son when he was like 2 and 1 half, I was just reading him a bedtime story in the rocking chair, and he just, just, huge amount of vomit just came out of him, and then he just carried on as if nothing happened.

It happens like once every six months, I'll just go, and then they'll just be puking in the crib, and like, my daughter slept the whole night. Didn't even wake up. She just puked. Yeah, and then they'll just be puking the crib and like my daughter slept the whole night didn't even wake up She just puked. Yeah, no, it's the worst smell of all time It's a horrific horrific start to a day. I remember always being devastated by when I ever I hated puking Oh, yeah, I still hate puking. I like it. It's funny. It is funny. I Also like it always just makes you feel better. Right.

As long as it's not sick. The lead up to it is just the worst. Oh, I like the lead up. Oh, you're insane. Will I? It's a sick puppy. Oh, I love it. Because I know when you know you have the feeling of,

I'm going to have to puke at some point, and it will make me feel so much better. I love that. I always try to fight it. I'm in denial. I'm just like, no, this will go away. No, I love it. I just embrace it. I fight it all the way up to the moment of puke. I sprint to bathroom. I remember getting like weirdly excited to tell my parents in the middle of the night I just puked. That was fun. Yeah. Like hangover, waking up in

the morning. That sucks. That's, that's in the sick category. Yeah. Any stomach bile puke. Yeah, yeah. That's in the sick.. Yeah, any stomach bile puke is no fun. I'm talking like full, like drinking too much, where you're just like, I know that it's coming, and I will feel 100 times better. Oh, yeah, that's fine. That's a great feel. The water hose, that's the best. I puked after three beers this last case,

and didn't tell anybody. I didn't say a word. That's awesome. Like there was a point I think I was I was three or four. I was like too too much. Next case race we should just make it legal that you have to you have to. Yeah. I will obviously have to puke to leave. I've done it many times. Yeah that was a tough two weeks when I did that in the beer games.

And the sphere. That's right. Yeah. What a run. The sphere's this place that we went. What a run. Is it like Cosm? Nope.

It's way bigger. Oh, well bigger probably wouldn't be that great. And awesome. The intimacy of Cosm was great. Cosm? How's that spelled? C-O-S-M. That's it?

Yep. Cool. Are they gonna make one in Chicago? I told them to. And what'd they say? Didn't they weren't in the room. I just said it. Said it out loud. I said hey Cosm! Put one in Chicago. What would you show on the Cosm screen Brandon? Oh all the big games. Mississippi State Florida, Mississippi State Texas, Mississippi State Georgia. Hey is Kirby Smart in trouble? He needs to be in jail yeah. He pushed a boy? He pushed our quarterback, starting quarterback.

And then said, oh, sorry, I didn't see him there. Kirby dumb. Woody Hayes got his career ended for him. Choked a guy. He pushes shit out of him. Watch this. There's one. Oh.

And this is not a big deal. Nobody's saying anything. Huh. What the hell? You're starting quarterback? Where is he big deal. Nobody's saying anything. Huh. What the hell? Your starting quarterback wears zero? Yeah, he's a freshman. Did you guys know that, um. That explains his number.

There's a player on the Cowboys overshown who are beyond. From Texas, who like, his dream was to wear number zero, and the Cowboys won't let him because that's their mascot's number. Oh. What a joke. I mean, Oh. Oh. What a joke. I mean, what a dream. What a dream, yeah.

Yeah, that is a weird dream. I want to wear zero for the... I don't know. You just, yeah. You should be able to. I think he wore zero his whole life, and they're like, nah. Can't you go zero and then double zero for another player? I don't know if you go double zero in the NFL.

Can you? No. No. The NBA didn't... It feels like a mascot could go double zero. Who wore double zero in the NBA? Robert Parrish, right? Robert Parrish, yeah.

Did Eric Montross wear double zero? He did. He did. Eric Montross was a double zero. Seems like you got facts to give off, shall we? Why, do you have facts? You got some white power? Oh yeah, we could.

Yeah, yeah, let's rip, do the high noon let's let's rip. We do the high new dad Let's rip a couple let's get five in a row Six in a row is the new streak. Did you hear Brandon? We got We have five in a row without you. We did get five in a row without you. Oh, yeah Hi, you know, we'll do it tomorrow. We got ends brings. We got to end it too Why would you have to do I got my wife's birthday presents getting to my house today? Which is what? I bought her a family session with a professional

photographer. Oh, wow. That's a good gift. I have to go home and I have to stop and get dressed up before I get home. Can you give me your wallet size? Are you going to go all white? I have an outfit.

Is it all white? No. Is it a button down? Yeah, it's a suit. So I got to stop and get dressed before I get home. Oh, man. What a surprise. What do you mean you got to stop and get dressed? You get dressed right Oh man, what a surprise. What do you mean you gotta stop and get dressed?

You get dressed right here. Oh, you're going to get a new suit? I know, I have to kind of be creative because I left the suit jacket at home, so I have to sneak in. But anyway, I'll be fine. High noon. It's gotta be home by 345.

It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the High Noon End Zone Pack is here. It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit the high noon end zone pack is a fall exclusive Which means it's here for a good time But not a long time visit high noon spirits calm before your next tailgate to find a pack near you Wonderful stuff

Nick were you getting freaky in the gambling cave this weekend what yeah he was oh So I realized I could ruin every one of malisex takes It's a malisex job in the gambling caves to film viral moments So every time he pulled his phone out, I just stared right at his phone. Okay, and so any clip he would have I'm just looking at it So yeah, you could just make malisex life really tough That's what happened back there. Yeah, that's that.

That's why I decided to have to go serious with it. Blow it dead. Yeah, he stole the show. So he never tried to stand up or change his angle? No, but I broke a little bit because he... Is he showing distress in his face? Yeah, he's got a bad... Because I was doing it for every single take, but I did also want

to watch football. But yeah, it's a price you pay. Only the camera had a zoom in option. Seriously, if only the room could be moved around in. What was a max reaction he was trying to get? Not on my watch, dude. No. All right.

All right. Damn it. Max. Yeah. All right. All right. Damn it. Max Max to to fix the butt crack issue. He went extra baggy yesterday. It was hilarious. He had like a triple XL shirt and like triple XL basketball shorts. Seems like that could get more but yeah sure. Oh he was covered up. You couldn't see he had so much fabric on. You couldn't even it. He had so much fabric on. You couldn't even see where the crack began.

He's fighting against it. It was just a very funny visual to fight against. By the end of the year, his dick's going to pop out doing something. What? We all have a dick. Is he a high-cracked man, or is it something else going on? Wide. Wide, high, pants. I feel like butt crack guys or just butt crack guys? I'm a butt crack guy.

I got a high ass crack. Brandon is not as low as his pants go. You don't have? I don't have an ass crack. Smooth as a cow. It's on the front, I think. Yeah. My ass crack almost goes up to my neck.

Yeah, that's a bit. Yeah. He's a high ass crack. I've been mooning cameras lately. Oh, hell yes. Yeah. Mooning is the best. Just like they're setting up for something.

Hey, over here. Just showing a little butt. Yeah. On the way to Camp Barstool, Jersey Jerry was in a different car than the bus, and he kept mooning the bus, and I loved it. It is hilarious. Yeah, it was funny.

It's great. Old school funny mooning. All right, let's do the wheel. Want to do the ad for Proper Wild? I think we have a bad wheel. It is. I think we got a bad wheel. All right.

Delicously juicy energy shots, Proper Wild. They have deliciously juicy energy shots and energy gummies that deliver the perfect boost. Whenever you need to wake up and stay fun, they've got no weird ingredients, just good, clean caffeine. Their best-selling flavors are peach mango, strawberry kiwi, and blackberry. You get 4-6 hours of energy, and it has 5 times more caffeine than a shot of espresso, 15 times more L-theanine than a cup of green tea. Use code wild for 30% off at proper wild dot com. They sponsor the wheel today. Uh every day I get here and I do my early walk I take a shot of

proper wild right before. I do. It's good. Gives me the energy to. Hell yes. To fight fight through it. I got a venus fly trap this weekend. Oh. And I got special soil for it now for carnivorous plants. I have my distilled water but I'm afraid I'm afraid I can't find any flies. It hasn't caught a fly. Do you have flies? I don't. Not enough. They don't need many. So wait a...

Like one a month, but I don't know what do I do if I don't get a fly. What does it do when it... Clamps down on the... Oh, it just sits with its mouth agape. Does it move? No, no. Does it like you? It does. Because I saved it from Trader Joe's. Can you simulate a fly?

And I got it new soil, and I'm giving it water from. So you're scared it's gonna die? Yeah. Can you buy a fly? I don't know, can you buy a fucking fly? You can't be dead either. You can, oh it can't?

No. But what if it doesn't just fly away? If you, like how are you gonna feed it? I know. Well how's it gonna know if it's dead? This is a finicky ass Venus fly trap. I don't think Venus, you're not supposed to, I'm on the Venus flies trap fucking subreddit. I'm sure you can buy flies That's probably one of the reasons why you can you buy order them off Amazon. Yeah, I was probably from my cats

They like flies. Yeah, do you want to split you go? They like to like to kill flies. It's fun for them. Yeah, big slow fly near death, kind of. My cat loves that. All right. It's been trapped in the blinds for a few days. We caught a fly once, the most awkward moment

I've ever been a part of in my life. Oh, Ken Bone's house. Yes! There we go. Ken Bone. house. Yes! There we go. Ken Bone. What happened again? It was like, we were doing a video with Donnie, and it was right when the fly landed on Mike Pence's head.

Yes, yep. And so we caught a, we went to, we went to St. Louis to Ken Bone's house, the undecided pregnancy fetishist, and we caught a fly to let loose in his house. We don't know what our mental gymnastics were, but they were so... They were pissed?

When was Ken Bone? He was 2016. This was 2020. He had a little bit of a popularity resurgence. Yeah, we sold bone zone shirts. No way. Yeah. Did he get canceled or like?

He got his Reddit history, he called pregnant women like. Beautiful whales. Like human submarines? Yeah, something like that. Okay. I like pregnant women. Oh, look at that. This is great. This is great.

Dry as a ken bone. All right, so tomorrow everyone come with a place and a costume idea and we'll put them all on the wheel and then we'll get an answer for our book. I'm excited about this book. Start thinking about the book. Everyone's going to have to do like six, seven pages. Yep. Then we'll come up with some together. Should we bring in one costume idea or should we bring in a regular one and then a sicko one? Yep. Oh yeah. So these costumes that you have to be able to like purchase put together

or can they be photoshopped? No, they can be purchased quickly on Amazon. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Got it. Yeah. So make sure it's a purchasable costume. Perfect. Okay. All right. See you everyone tomorrow. Have a good week everybody. Thanks Lucas for Friday. Bye. Love you. Bye.