The Yak - By Men, Bi Men Buy Men By Men, Bymen, Bye Men | The Yak 8-26-21

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Welcome back to the Yak. It is the Yak. It's the Yak. Welcome back to the Yak. It is the Yak. Roan, that hoodie's very green on screen, but in person, a great Kelly. It's like almost an Irish green.

Cut to me, cut to me, cut to me, cut to me. Whoa. Looking like flubber. It's vibrant. I feel like a green screen. Please don't key some cool shit on me. Key that exact hoodie

over top of me. Should I change? It's a bit distracting, is it not? It's too much. I feel like a highlighter. Yeah. Let's get back to talking about

how fucking hot Ryan Sheckler was because that guy just... You know who Ryan Sheckler is, Brandon? No, I don't. Is he hot? Can we pull up Sheckler? Young Sheckler. Pull up a picture of Ryan Sheckler was because that guy just... You know who Ryan Sheckler is, Brandon? No, I don't. Is he hot? Can we pull up Sheckler? Young Sheckler.

Pull up a picture of Ryan Sheckler in his late teens. Season one life of Ryan. Season one life of Ryan. That's the hottest Sheckler? That's the hottest Sheckler. He was a skateboarder. He ollied off a roof.

Got real famous. But he was just... Just the fact that he was so hot and such a good skateboarder is just, it's mind-blowing. He was king. Nick, share the theory you were just sharing with us. I think most quarterbacks are handsome because when they try out to be quarterback, they have confidence because they're handsome. So you're talking handsome kids just go to quarterback because they're confident. We were talking all athletes.

We were saying I think it's not a coincidence that a lot of athletes are attractive. You don't see a lot of ugly athletes. No, you do. Yeah. Offensive linemen. Not the skill positions. Not the glory positions. Most NBA players, the 7-footers, the 6'10 guys, they're just horrendously ugly.

That's not a hot guy. That is the hottest guy. That's not a hot guy. That is the hottest guy. That's not a great picture of him. That looks like... He looks fresh off a bender there. It's like multiverse carrot top right there. He looks like he's been underage doing drugs. He looks like he's been on the Drew Barrymore

diet when she was four years old or whatever. I just need a hot picture of him. Get a younger Ryan Shuckler. He was hot. His hotness has Benjamin buttoned. What? when she was four years old or whatever. I just need a hot picture. No, get a younger Ryan Sheckler. He was hot. Like almost 18. His hotness has Benjamin Buttoned. What? I said we wanted almost 18, but not quite.

Yeah, we want to jailbait Ryan Sheckler. Google that. I don't know. I feel like this could be dicey territory for us, boys. Jailbait Sheckler. He's 18 now. No, he's like 30 now, probably. He's over 18.

He looks rough now, I think. Look at him picking the hot picture. Oh, no, no, no. That one. That one. Kyle, describe Ryan Sheckler in one word. This will. Yep.

Hold on. Oh. Come on. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Well, we're waiting. What? Oh shit Oh shit Well We're waiting What?

Describe Ryan Sheckler in one word No No Yeah he never consented You know what The most annoying thing is When someone does that prompt to you I didn't do it

Describe something in one word I was repeating him Why is that annoying? That is the most convenient response you can get back. No one ever needs one word. You need more than one word. Are you saying they just need to grunt? They want you to really mentally struggle to come up with a word.

Why don't you use as many words as you like? I never was hot. Yeah, we thought you were just going to say hot. Yeah, it was dreamboat. I was going to say. Yeah, dreamboat. So compound words count? Dreamboat is a word. It's still a compound word. I was going to say. Yeah, a dream boat. So compound words count? Dream boat is a word.

It's still a compound word. What's it mean to have bedroom eyes? Do you always look sleepy? Yeah, you got the little crusties in the middle. Girls love bedroom eyes, and I don't know what it is. I think girls are into a look of a dude that's very overtired. They do. That's a big thing right now.

They love that. That's like the MGK Pete Davidson. Yeah, but it's like the MGK Pete Davidson. Yeah. But it's like fake tired. Actual. It's like you get up after nine and a half hours of sleep and make yourself look tired.

Some of those Pete Davidson pictures look like he might have not slept for a month straight. That's intentional. I think it's like they don't have energy to cheat. Yeah. You just know they're good.

They're like veal. They're just tethered up and fucking withered and sickly and pale. They don't want to go outside No libido Hey, CSV. What is the one picture of Pete Davidson with the I forget who the girl is So my famous model or something not Kate Beckinsale. I don't know but she's like holding his hand He looks like he's on like the verge of dying

Got the suds. Yeah Do I sound stuffy? You do. Very. In a bad way. Yeah. Why? What is...

Are you stuffy? Yeah, but weirdly it just kicked in right when the show started. You're strangely optimistic about it. Yeah, usually. That guy was in Kangaroo Jack. That's Jerry O'Connell. That's Jerry O'Connell. He was in Kangaroo Jack.

That's Frank Cushman. You think his jeans are tailored to fit his ass? They've got to be. Or his ass is just that. His ass is tailored to those jeans. I don't think those are jeans. Every time he changes pants. Wait, that guy's got a fucking zoom in on his ass.

Was he in Scrubs for a short run? He was in Kangaroo Jack. I know that. He's about to be a win. Oh, in Dreams after this. God. I don't think he was in Scrubs. You're thinking of the guy who played Jake.

That wasn't Jerry O'Connell. Was Jerry O'Connell in Scrubs? I guess we could just ask him. No, no. Let's ask him. We brought him in for Pick Central, and he did not want to be in here. Yeah. Of course, that was Pick Central.

He's probably been told. I don't think you want to be in Pick Central. We're objectifying today. No, I am. We did set him next to be in here. Yeah. Of course, that was Pixentral. He's probably been told. I don't think, yeah, I don't think you want to be in Pixentral. We're objectifying today. Oh, I am. We did sit in next to Ben Mintz. It's okay to objectify men. Ben was wearing the collar.

Buy men. If you're a man, you're allowed to objectify men. Buy men. We should start doing a smut blog for men. Buy men. Buy men.

Buy men. Buy men. Buy men. One of my first blogs I ever read while I was here, it was one of my first weeks at Barstool, and I clicked on a gay Pat blog, and it was like 21 smoke shows to kick off your week, and it was just all dudes.

I'm trying to think of a realize, realize, realize. It's buy men, buy men, buy men. So you're writing about sexually curious slave owners. Of course. Buy men, buy men, buy men. So you're writing about sexually curious slave owners. Of course. Buy men, buy men, buy men. Yeah. That's incredible. He just gave us quite an enthusiastic wave.

That's classic. You want to come in? I feel like that was so easy that you might be able to add another buy men to that. Yeah. It could be like a buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo type of situation. Buy men, buy men, buy men. Buy men. Can you? Like a buy guys hymen. Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo type of situation. Biman, Biman, Biman. Biman. Can you...

Like a bye guy's hymen. It's a Biman. He hasn't been fucked in the ass yet. Oh, you broke my Biman. TI's checking to see if it's still intact. Biman's B intact. Biman's, Biman's, Biman. Okay. No, that's good.

You can throw a possessive Biden's before all five of those. Biden's, Biman. Biman, Biman, Biman. Pizza gate shit. Frank, the tank, unfortunately did not tell us that he would not be joining us today. Completely unbeknownst to us, Frank the tank is not coming in today. So we are forced to put him on a four-week suspension from the act because he just didn't let us know. That's fair.

He could have just let us know. He could have just easily said, hey, heads up, guys. Not going to be in tomorrow for tank Thursday. Put a pin in the Mets talk. And unfortunately, we've all studied up on the Mets, and we're going to have to talk about the Mets regardless. I mean, you're with him all the time doing Soda Reviews. And he didn't say a word.

He never brought it up. Not a peep. All the opportunities in the world. He had Owen acting in a Soda Review yesterday. Owen, you acted? Yeah. What was your line? I'm Usher Gary. And you can't have fun. You had a name? Yeah.

Is he a Mets usher? Yeah. You understand. And it would have been easy for you, Owen, to undersell that role to kind of half-ass it, and you did, and you did do that. You did. Wait, did you get it?

How did you get into character? He didn't. I just explained who I was playing. Babe, I swear you're my first. It was just a big turd. Broke my biman. I've been dehydrated. What the fuck is this?

The idea of that is so gross Biman? Of a fictional A fictional spot in the erection A film that Nick remember when you were saying that Like when you get constipated Your asshole just seals up

Yeah you get a It just Yeah I forgot to pick up my ass scab And now it's just It's just a patch That might be too far I'm good But if the pussy is a thing The biman can be a thing pick at my ass scab and now it's just a patch. That might be too far.

I'm good. But if the pussy is a thing, the biman can be a thing. The biman is a thing. Of course. Biman, biman. So, okay. So, half gay,

slave. So it's a... This is a... No, no, no. Half gay, slave owner. because you buy men also bisexual is what yeah bisexuals half gay what is it what is it then brother all right so a half gay slave owner who's writing a publication for other people and he's never what is the byman he's never been fucked in the ass.

That's the half guy. He only fucks ass. I'm trying to think of like a bi monthly or like maybe he goes back and forth between men and women. He's like bi men. He's like something like that. Is he standing next to other guys oh yeah he is i think he's the the public he's the publisher and he's also surrounded by men yes

he's half gay he's half gay he is a slave owner and he's never been never been penetrated so it's by men by men by men by men yeahmen. Yeah. We need a fifth. We need... I thought the fifth was just bi-men. No, I thought... Yeah, we have five. Do you know those Beatles shirts that are like Paul and John and Ringo and George? We need to put that out.

Bi-men, bi-men. How do you spell the bi-men? The asshole? B-I-M-E-N. B-I-M-E-N B-I-M-E-N is the biman There's no Y in there, huh? B-Y-M-E-N One word

Yeah Oh man That shirt's gonna fly off the shelf Yeah, it sure is Maybe make it into a sweatshirt too Maybe a hat Does your shirt say Biman? Is that like a butt hymen?

Yeah, I guess you got it on the first try. How'd you know? Mrs. Nardini, Miss Simons, Pitch. We used to make flags for those. Yeah, from the people who brought you Saturdays with the boys and zillion beers. It's buy men, buy men, buy men, buy men. People are going to be chanting that at the fucking tailgate. Well, you never know when it stops.

Buy men, buy men, buy men. And you don't know which. You've got to find out. It's a scramble. Mince, what's buy men for? Buy men for my bed. Goddamn. Yeah, you get Donald Trump Jr.

What's Byman for? Never been fucked in the ass. Yeah! Yeah! Oh, my God. Kudos to us for just giving ourselves permission to really indulge on that one. Oh yeah. We're going to do it again when Big Cat gets in.

He'll like this. He'll really like it. He kind of walked by. He did. I thought he was about to dip in. He did the photo op with Jerry O'Connell. He was like, they got Sheckler up on the screen

and they're talking about Biden. Pat just texted me and said he hooked up with Sheckler. No way. No, he didn't. Yeah, he said he did. I also heard that Tico Texas has a hit piece coming out. Then there's footage of 2014 Gaz with another man. I don't know. of 2014 Gaz with another man. What?

I don't know. What? I don't know. I just heard that. Back in black. 14? Yeah, 2014. I was shocked. That footage has been under wraps until just now.

But I thought I want to put that out there. Gaz will be ruined. Yeah, he will. Poor guy, dude. Where will he work now? Where will he be able to find work now? That'll save Gaz. We got this prep sheet.

Yeah, what's on the prep sheet? So Donnie is swimming the East River tomorrow? Tomorrow. Yes. Who's going to be on the New York side? Early too, right? Manhattan. So I have to decide whether I want to be on the boat or just on the coast.

I'm going coast. But then did you see the picture Donnie sent us of where to be? Kyle? Of where for us to stand? On the Manhattan side? Yes. Where is it? I'll show you.

He just sent a picture. It's like a two block area or something? He sent a picture of... We should publicize the picture. It'd be nice for him to have a coming home party or lots of witnesses to his death. Actually, yeah. Still a coming home party.

Yeah, yeah. I think around 30 minutes. Absolutely not. No fucking chance. He'll see all the people that love him the most either way. There's no doubt in my mind. You think it's going to be a lot longer? I think so, right?

I think it'll be around 30. Half mile swim? So he has a really... If we want to zoom in on my phone here, we have a very... It's probably going to be a lot longer than 30 minutes. His path is very well thought out. Hold on, Chay, do you want me to send it to you? He's got to play a parabola,

right? He's got to hook that shit. So here's Donnie's path that he sent me. I think he did it in Microsoft Paint. It's just a black, he did that on Snapchat.

It's just a, it's a black line, but he does, he does kind of take a zigzag there. But then he told us to be standing in this area,

which is, uh, just a square around like four-block radius. He was like, just be around there and you'll see me. That's like the pier. Under the Manhattan Bridge. We did the basketball challenge there. Remember that?

We went to that place. But if you go past that, there's no access to the water from that pier. And so if he drifts even into that, he'll have to go all the way down with the tide, like maybe eight blocks or so. We will be looking for his body off the coast of Governor's Island. We should actually kind of give our last respects to Donnie. Are we accountable? Is this like fourth degree manslaughter?

I think we do need to go on record saying I don't recommend he do this. I do. I mean, he's already locked in so I will say yes. I don't think he should do it. Alright. But it's happening. If it was before the Yak show, we would have been more held accountable. This is more like he wants to do this on his free time

before he goes to Italy. Oh, we kind of were forcing him to do his part. He's going to play either way. Yeah, you're right. He doesn't want to go to Italy. Oh, we kind of were forcing him to do his part. Yeah, he had a going away party but he'll play either way. Yeah, you're right. He doesn't want to go to Italy, huh? And if he dies, we could just say he's gone to Italy.

We don't have to admit to the fact he's dead. Yeah, and if he goes to Italy, we could say he died. What? Yeah, who's dead? There you go. Best of both worlds.

Do you think that if he dies it will help or hurt rough and rowdy bias? I think it will massively help. It would? It would be nice because we could do a moment of silence. Get a quick graphic for him.

Tributes are dope. Like the best day of my life was when Avicii died and like everyone was blasting his music. Like churches were playing his music in different forms and manners. Did you cry? I did cry. I was at Planet Fitness in Youngstown, Ohio. Austintown branch. There's multiple Planet Fitnesses in Youngstown area?

Yeah, there's like three. What? Friday, April what? I don't know. 29th. Was it? Sounds good. Fuck.

And you just cried during the, you found out at the gym or you just found out, went to the gym and started crying while you were working out? I was on the treadmill. I just finished a five-minute mile. Damn. And you just screamed crying on that five-minute mile? He died on 4-20, 2018.

What was that? Was it 4-20? Yes. Only feels right. Shit, I almost died too. Billy Mays died on my birthday, and I called a girl to tell her that, to maybe have her tell me happy birthday, guilt her a little bit. But I was in the bathroom, and I called her, and I was like,

hey, Billy Mays died. And she just said, are you in the bathroom? And I just hung up. What? Are you in the shower right now? Did Billy Mays die a couple days after Michael Jackson? He may have. It was very close.

It was a rough month. Michael Jackson might have been June 12th. Yeah. I was in a kid's pool. Kid's pool? I was at Disney Resort. I had to leave work because of diarrhea that day. I was in New Hampshire.

Is this the second thing to 9-11 in our lives where everybody knows exactly where they were? Michael Jackson, 9-11. I was working at a major golf course. Avicii for me. I honestly have no idea where I was when Michael Jackson died. I remember him dying because my neighbor was obsessed with him. And I don't remember what happened. Yeah, what's the younger generation's 9-11?

What do they remember? What's like your... Probably Sandy Hook, honestly. Yeah, that might be it tragedy wise because I just remember my parents taking away all my video games

swear to god because the whole the whole like I swear to god wait wait because because they don't want to

get you into violence or because no like the whole the whole thing was like oh he killed all these children because he played Assassin's Creed they were like trying to pin it on video games.

That was the first shooting that they did that with. I know. Columbine. Well, that didn't work. They came out with multiple movies. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

I just remember my parents taking away all my video games, and I was playing Minecraft, and my dad was like, there's killing in this game, isn't there? And I was like, Jesus Christ. What video games did you have to play? Minecraft. I convinced my parents, let me keep Minecraft. and I was like Jesus Christ what video games did you have to play Minecraft I convinced my parents let me keep Minecraft it's very cartoony

killing in Minecraft on passive mode it's also you're like killing animals in your boxes yeah and you're killing them to survive

it's simple hunter gather that's life brother yeah humper gather humper gather yeah me and my dad used to play

Call of Duty together all the time, and then that ended. Man, I'm sorry. I know. Yeah, so that was tough for you. That was a rough day for you. I mean, I was in like sixth grade, so I don't really think I understood what happened. You didn't? Sixth grade, you should.

Well, sixth grade, you're pretty young still. It's pretty cut and dry what happened. That's 12 years old. Yeah, but I didn't understand the extent of it. Well, yeah. They were even younger. Yeah. Not that much younger. Makes you think. Hey! Hey, there he is.

Talking about Sandy Hook. Just in time. Perfect. Yeah, it's on the prep sheet here. Sandy Hook. So Tyler O'Day actually added that girl into our Yak group chat. And once you're in the Yak chat, you don't get booted. You don't get booted. So she's in there.

And she's hot. So O'Day added her. And Big Cat said, send pics. That was the first thing you said. She didn't. But I said it. Yeah. I thought she would at least send some pics from like the honeymoon.

Yeah. She didn't object and she didn't leave the group. Yeah, I wasn't asking for like... Nudes? Where did you come up with that? Pussy freckles? Sorry, I always hate walking in late because then I feel like I'm interrupting something. So carry on.

No, we literally were begging for somebody to interrupt it. Because we're so deep into it. That's my suit guy. I'm getting new jackets for advisors this year. Oh, so you got a guy? He's measuring me, yeah. Suit guys have to wear suits? I think so. And yarmulkes. And yarmulkes. Was he wearing a you got a guy? He was measuring me, yeah. Do guys have to wear suits? I think so.

And yarmulkes. And yarmulkes. Was he wearing a yarmulke? He was. He's your yarmulke guy. Yes. I sent out a tweet and had a stoolie hit me up. He's like, we'll come to you.

That's incredible. Yeah. That's fucking fire. We were talking about a hymen in a guy's butthole. Oh. The biman. The biman. All right, this is good because I actually studied this in college.

Really? Yeah. Bimans. Bimans? Bimans specifically. Do you want to tell the whole sentence, Nick? So we made our own, you know, realize, realize, realize. Yep.

Or buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo. So we did biman, biman, biman, biman, which is a publication by men. It's a publication by men. It's featuring half gay by men. Yes. And it's people who purchase slaves by men. By men. They stand by men.

Wait, can we write this out? I'm a visual learner. There's five by men. Can we write this out? Do we have a pen? Do's just five Bi-Mens. Can we write this out? Do you have a pen? Do you have a whiteboard? Whiteboard would be cool. Yeah, we do have whiteboards, right?

We could just probably write it on the glass here, like in the accounting. Who's got a pen? You got a pen, Brandon. You always got a pen. Let's account it up. Let's just do a pen. Every wall with Bi-Men. Like Bart Simpson.

All right, here's another book. All right. Here's a pen. Oh, man. Writing Bi-Men a hundred times. oh man writing by men a hundred times by men by men we need

by men we need a oh dry erase dry erase oh my god what he is by men but he's also

spitting them a do oh he's saying goodbye. Bye, man. There's six by-men. That kind of hurts. Oh, my God. All right, here we go.

So the first one is what? The first one is by-a-man. B-Y space M-E-N. Space M-E-N. So you know it's written, it's published. It's like FUBU. By mail. Yeah. Okay, the next one is? By-N. So you know it's written, it's published. It's like FUBU.

Okay, the next one is? Bi men. B-I space M-E-N. They're half gay. Half gay. But half straight. Half straight. It's like Obama. They're hybrids.

Their one is bi men. B-U-Y space men. They're slaves. Do you think bi men or buying men? Within the bi community, there's rivalry between half gay and then the half straight men. There's a divide. Definitely. All right, and then bi men.

And then what's the next one? B-Y space M-E-N. They're adjacent to a group of males. Kyle, I'm just saying. And then B-Y-E. The butt hymen. Then no space, B-Y-E-M-E-N. Oh, yes.

And so the butt hymen is going by men. It's like you're losing your butt hymen. By men, okay. By men, B-Y-E. B-Y-E-M-E-N. That should be smashy. No, we forgot B-U-Y. Oh, no. No, we didn't. No, we. We forgot B-U-I. Oh, no.

No, we didn't. No, we got it. Sure is held in. Yeah. Look, here we go. For the visual learners. Should be... Sure is held in.

Zoom in on that? Half a dozen. So, Big Cat, why don't you try to walk us through this? Okay. All right. So, by men. By men. Uh-huh.

By men. Uh-huh. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By men. Yes. By men. By men Uh huh By men Uh huh No Yeah yeah yeah By men Yes By men By men By men

By men By men I think that makes sense Is it a shirt Or is it a hat Or a flag I think it's I think it's the back of a shirt

A temporary tattoo I think it's the back of a shirt I need a group of And then the front says Ask me about my men Yeah that Glennie has to get sleeve tattoos of this We want to do flags I need a group of... And then the front says, ask me about my men. Glennie has to get sleeve tattoos for this.

We want to do flags. Flags? Okay, I like that. I can see this kind of being the next Saturday for the boys. Perfect, like mine. It's great. Let's write it in Arabic, though. We'll do white on black.

Or the yak colors. I'll get that on black. Or the Yacht Colors. I'll get that in Arabic. Give me a second. White on black in Arabic. Yeah, I want it only in Arabic. Yeah. That's the merch. It'll look fly.

It will definitely look fly. Like that fucking... Are you putting that in Google Translate? Going to the day club? Going to like the pool club? Do it for everyone here? Yeah. And you have this. Jay, can you...

French Montana would wear it. Can you google ISIS flag generator Yeah why don't you do that And then we can Sketch this out This is gonna be tough This is gonna take me a while

Oh you're actually writing it Yeah no yeah yeah So you guys talk But there's Arabic Is there an Arabic word For the biman Yes Well

What about bi Bisexual Is there an Arabic word For bisexual Assuming there is An Arabic word for hymen yes but what about bi bisexual is there an Arabic word for bisexual assuming there is an Arabic word for hymen and there has to be just an ad

right just adjacent go borrow a B a B do they have the character B I think so I mean yes

yeah sure okay I just don't know common middle name is Bin. Bin? I don't know if it was like a Florence frenzy situation. I don't know if they were writing it out how we're writing it out. You see that video of the Taliban listening to Nice For What?

Yeah, it was crazy. Is that the one that you showed me? Yeah. It's insane. Yeah, that'll sell. Is that the one that you showed me? Yeah. It's insane. Yeah, that'll sell. Insane what? That'll sell. Oh, there we go.

I don't even have to write it out. I'm going to finish the first. Are we sure that says what? I don't think that says what we want it to say. Does that say Jew? It might. Okay. All right.

It's work. Because I don't want the flag to say. Disavow. Let's disavow whatever that just said. Because that's the one thing you didn't. Just because. It's work. I don't want the flag to say. Disavow. Let's disavow whatever that just said. Because that's the one thing you didn't. Because we don't know. We don't know. Let's distance ourselves from whatever that said.

All right. You've written it out here. Just the first. It's going to take me a while to do the whole thing. Jump over to Big Cat on this cam. If we could flash the big cam. Can we do a camera two? Oh, wow.

That looks good, right? That's pretty solid. Yeah. I'm not bad. Is that the first line? Yeah. It's the first line what's that's by men that's by men i don't know if you can tell that's a fire t-shirt that is a fire it is i would totally wear that that uh kb told tank he's not doing tank thursdays anymore what no that's why he's not doing Tank Thursdays anymore what

no that's why he's not here no I didn't tell anyone you didn't tell anyone I didn't tell him do you want to tell everyone yeah I reached out to him in private

I was nice about it or so I think and I just told him straight up like hey this isn't for you to me and

I think it would be in your best interest to branch out to other ventures and endeavors. And what did he say? Okay. Another firing? He said, fine. Is this real?

No, it's actually fake. He's in West Virginia right now. I would have imagined him just throwing back a K. It's pretty awesome for me because everyone's like, is Big Cat going to say anything to Frank? He's not here today right now. I would have imagined him just throwing back a K. It's pretty awesome for me because everyone's like, is Big Cat going to say anything to Frank? And he's not here today, so. Did he? No, he was always not going to be here today.

Well, Roan announced a four-week suspension for Frank. Oh. He didn't tell us that. He wasn't going to be here on Tank Thursday. And we all watched how much Mets footage? Yeah. Hours. Hours and hours.

So, yeah, he's suspended for four weeks. I already clipped it. I'm going to put it out. Wow. Official. I love it, Roan. He just didn't reach out to us. I don't know why he wouldn't tell us.

We would never do that to him. I mean, reciprocity. We're not doing a show. Quid pro quo, et cetera, et cetera. Doing it at a skeeball place. We always tell him. Exactly. And he didn't tell us, and we're left in the lurch right now.

Four weeks is fair. And he'll be back after that. Fair's fair. I just didn't know if you actually said something. No, I don't have the balls. No, neither do I. Total pussy. Yeah.

Or a biman. We should let Sam do it. Yellow biman. What? You should tell Frank. I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore

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I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore

I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore

I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore I am a hardcore He'd big man move you. He would hit me. He would 69 me standing up. Yeah, probably.

Frank does not like me. No. Does anybody speak Arabic in the audience? You are the embodiment of youth culture to him. Frank does. He's the only one. He's not here. Frank's actually fluent. You're the participation trophy generation to him.

I know. What can you do? Not be you. Not be you. Yeah. I got an idea how about KYS start there

and we'll go from there huh did you guys talk about Donnie yeah yes he is doing it's locked in tomorrow

he said it's gonna take him 30 minutes I don't I think it's gonna take him way longer it's not gonna take him 30 minutes it takes like 30 minutes to get across the Brooklyn going to take him way longer. It's not going to take him 30 minutes.

It takes like 30 minutes to get across the Brooklyn Bridge. That's actually a good point. To walk across the Williamsburg Bridge, it takes... Yeah. I didn't even think about that. It's not going to swim. That's like a fantastic point, Seth. Walking across, it takes a significant amount of time. Did you do what we were going to say, though?

That we're totally going to... Listen, Donnie is doing what he wants to do. We're not responsible. Because there's some degree of murder that will be... There will be blood on our hands. But not when we record right now and say, Hey, everyone look at the camera. Well, Owen and Sass disagreed, so they're on their own.

Oh, you guys... I'll take some. You guys are making him do it. You're forcing him to do it. No, we just said we're not anti him doing it. You guys were saying you don't want him. No, no, no, no, no, no. I want him.

Well, I'm like. Well, no, see what you're doing. Can I give you a little sidebar? It's not encouraging to do it. Can I get some help? Yeah. Oh, nice shoes. Let me see them.

Okay. The help I'm talking about. Yeah. What happened? I called Grant when I brought it back. Oh, no. Is that what that was? I caught a cramp when I brought it back. Was that what that was? Brandon, a little tip.

Oh, my God. Wait, wait. What is it? Where is it? Lay on the ground. Supine position. Supine. Oh, man. His leg is switched up.

Ew. Sorry. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

That's gross. So gross. Gross. Holy shit. You're not hedging properly, Brandon. I'm sorry. Because if you say that you don't want him to do it at all, if he does survive, you don't get any of the glory. You have to say.

Okay, fair enough. I fully want him to do it. Okay. And I'm encouraging him to do it. And now if he dies, you're fucked. Yeah. So I think I speak for Roan, myself, KB, and Nick. We, as Donnie's friends, want him to be happy.

And if happiness for him looks like swimming across the East River, we're not going to get in his way. We will cheer him on. We will pray that he's okay. But we also absolve ourselves from all anything. And if his happiness ends in death? He died doing what he loves. It's like the free solo guy. And we support him and he'll be dearly missed, but we didn't egg him on like Owen and Sass.

So there it is. And if we get blamed for Donnie's death, we will go on a hunger strike. So those people will be blamed for our death. Yes. Someone please transcribe everything that was just said and then tweet it out so we can sign it. In Arabic. Yeah. Well, English and Arabic.

We want both. Yeah. So that's that. Are you guys all going? Ron and I are going to see him off. And I will be on the other side. And you guys will see him off. At 8 a.m.?

No, you will see him. No, you don't have to. No, it's not going to take him a half. It's going to take him more than a half hour It's gotta And that current is going to push him There's a good chance he doesn't make it I feel like it's a busy boating time Does Donnie really think he's

Is he a great swimmer? He claims he is He said this is the perfect time to go with boats What is a great swimmer? I think he's good at staying afloat, but I don't think he has the speed or stamina on his side. Like, stamina is huge. Is he going with a wetsuit? Does he have goggles?

I don't think. He's kind of a gross river. Yeah, he shouldn't be going in there just like no shirt and a bathing suit on. Well, he has his own bathing suit in the store. Yeah. And so this is a great time to market it. It's a nice bathing suit, too. It's a a bathing suit on. He has his own bathing suit in the store. Yeah. So this is a great time to market it. It's a nice bathing suit too. It's a nice bathing suit.

And I think that might... Is this for bathing suit marketing? I think it's for the bathing suit market. Well, if he was really in it for the bathing suit market, he would go all the way around Manhattan. Look at you, Sass. You're going to get our boy killed. Well, it is the commitment that he needs here.

To put him to perspective, like how hard swimming is, the Ironman, they run 26.2 miles, bike 180, and they swim two. And he's doing half? And those are Ironmen. Yeah. It's also after. And what length is the East River? No, they swim first.

What is it again? Say it again. So they run 26.2 miles, bike 180.2, and then they swim a couple miles. So what is the distance? 0.5. He's probably swimming half a mile. Yeah, I think he's swimming half a mile. And how many laps would that be in a pool?

We don't know how far he's swimming. It has to be a lot. Do the Ironmen just do it in a swimming pool or a body of water? They do it in the ocean. They do it in the ocean. They swim along the coast of the ocean. So that's harder, too, though. Swim across a lot of sea times.

I know some low-key, whack physique dudes who have completed Ironman. Really? So I was talking to Rudy this morning. I've been to them, and they're just all in peak shape. No, they're low-key, whack physique. Long-distance swimmers have a similar body to Donnie's. Yeah. Because they do too much cardio, so it wears on all their muscle.

Wait, this doesn't make sense. That was a huge shot at Donnie. What the fuck? No, no. I meant the Ironman people. It's like a known thing that runners and them don't have the greatest physique. But he just said they're the same physique as Donnie. I blocked that out. Donnie has a wonderful physique.

That's more like it. How wide is the East River? Half a mile. Should this be on the Play Barstow app? Live or die. I'm reading right now the current is extremely strong. I don't think he realizes. Somewhere else and just let the current take him.

Maybe he should just go from Manhattan to Brooklyn. Is that easier with the current? No, he said the other way. Really? How is that any different? I'm worried. Probably the flow points where the river flows in. The deltas.

I don't know. The fucking flow points. The flow points. Probably the flow points. And there's going to be a boat out there with him, right? Yes. So he's not going to die. What?

We don't... Something could happen to the boat. But you're saying that someone will be there to rescue him. He's not just going willy-nilly and floating out there. There's going to be someone who, if he starts... At its widest point, the East River is three-quarters of a mile wide. But it's not... This isn't the widest point, though.

Right. No. So at its... How about Dumbo to wherever? The funniest thing about him marking... It's as narrow as one tenth of a mile at points. Him planning out his like route, like swimming.

It's like once you get out in the water, you have no idea where you're going. Zero idea. I float out in the ocean and a mile down the beach. Yeah. And you have no idea you're moving. Phenomenon still gets me every time you look you're looking for like your parents towels they're not there

10 miles down trying to figure out how to fucking measure google map area god damn it it's gonna take him like an hour and a half but like can you can he even stay afloat for an hour and a half because he's gonna like when was last time he's done cardio? Does he do cardio? He's going to be out of breath. Lots of shots at Donnie right now. Swimming is intense cardio. Exactly.

I'm saying. I have no frame of reference. Why don't we have anybody who has familiarity with this? Do we have one lap in a pool? Do we have any swim people? I think Beeman used to swim. swim people? What did Stephen say? Beeman used to swim. Beeman?

Did Beeman swim? Chicken Fry swam in college. Beeman came up to me yesterday and was like... No, she didn't. No, she did. She ran track. Beeman came up to me

and was like... You want to bet? You want to fucking bet? I do. I do want to bet. Nick, aren't you supposed to be out in Penn State right now? Yeah, I'm next train.

Oh, all right. Beeman came up to me yesterday and she's like, hey, you're going to do a Penn State right now? Yeah, I'm next train. All right. Beeman came up to me yesterday. She's like, hey, you're going to do a photo shoot with Yogi. And I was like, who the fuck is that? That's her dog, man. Yeah, I don't. You got to remember her dog. I do.

You can't talk about your dog like that. Like that? No. No way. It's National Dog Day today. First name basis. Beautiful fucking dog. Nice fluff fluffer.

Great dog. What? Yogi. Yogi. Beeman's dog. Y'all dog people Great dog. What? Yogi. Yogi. Demon's dog. Y'all dog people just say that about every dog? No, this one. Yeah, you do.

I have an ugly dog. This dog is very attractive. I have one good looking dog and then I have a very ugly dog. We shame it. Really? Yeah. Is that the one that bites people? No, the one that bites people is the good looking one, which is why it gets excused.

All right, so I just figured it out. It's about 2,000 feet. That doesn't help us at all. That's close to half a mile. Yeah, that's four-tenths of a mile. It's like.4 of a mile. Oh, it's less than half a mile. Yeah, less than half a mile.

That doesn't seem too far. 50 meters? We're not doing meters. We're not converting. It's 616 yards. Oh, wow. That is a great dog. That's far.

Look at the dog. I would take a photo. I would do a photo shoot with that dog. Yeah, the dog's been here. I would do a photo shoot with that dog. So she got that one from a breeder, huh? Mm-hmm. A puppy mill, huh?

He's got to do about seven laps in a pool. Seven? Oh, that doesn't seem right. There and back. There and back. That doesn't seem right. Okay, but also a pool and a river are two different things. Yeah, there's no current in a pool.

Of course. Of course. I think we should all do an Olympic dive off the highest one. See if we do it or not. The bridge? No. Like a 10 meter? Off the Brooklyn Bridge?

You mean a platform? A dive platform? Can we just jump? Can we do a cannonball? Can we just jump? Can we just jump? Cannonball? You've done it? Well, I didn't dive. I jumped feet first.

Yeah, can we go feet first? You can do it any way. I feel like some people wouldn't do it. You. Yeah. It's you. There's a video of people

where it's scarier than you think. But I remember you having to go down the ladder of like the middle dive at Wheeling Park Pool backwards

and just fucking up the line. Oh, no. Is that true? Yeah. Damn. The climbing was the hardest part. But you're a climber. Yeah, you are a climber.

Down. When was the last time you climbed a tree? It's been a while. Someone's got to drop them a week and a half. It's a biannual craving. Two weeks? 2019. What?

2019 was... No, you were talking about climbing trees six months ago. You were climbing trees when you visited your parents down in North Carolina, right? You're a Charlotte climber.

Aren't you? Is that video of you riding around on the tractor with the 40? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the funniest thing. What do you got there, Brendan? Nothing. What happened? Was that video of you riding around on the tractor with the 40? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the funniest thing. What do you got there, Brandon? Nothing.

What happened? You were waiting for Nick. I leaned up and looked dramatic, but I was really just stretching my back. National Dog Day, Brandon, have you put flowers on the gravestone? You don't think about that. We all have. We all have dead animals in our lives. We've all had dogs Pass away

It's not that big of a deal Kyle hasn't He's never had a dog Never You're scared of dogs Maggie's dead He's not a dog parade I'm a cat guy

Maggie was his name I'm a Sam guy now Dude Sam's a fucking bitch Sam's so alive Sam sucks Sam is the worst Sam is so alive Your Sam sucks. Sam is the worst. Sam is so alive. Your dog sucks, dude. Your dog sucks.

You're a dud. Do you love your dog less when you have a kid? Yes. Unfortunately. Not love less. You treat it more like a dog. Pay attention. There it is. Do the dogs get jealous of the kids? Yes. Because my Uber driver told me that one time.

We were listening to – he was like, yeah, I was listening to this story the other day apparently. He was like, brutal story, really brutal story. Police officer went out to mow his lawn, came back in, his dogs ate his kid. They get jealous. He's like, dogs get jealous of the kids. I don't think that was out of jealousy. I was like, ah, I don't know. That's the worst part about leaving New York is getting Uber drivers who tell you things.

They talk the whole way. I like how in- You always forget how good you have it. Yeah, like when you go to West Virginia. Yeah, you're in like Michigan. They're like telling you a full story. You're like, what the fuck is that? When I was last in West Virginia, I got in like an Uber.

It was an Uber driver. It was like a pickup truck. Yeah. And it was like he had just gotten dinner. So it was like a- It was me, him- The takeout had just gotten dinner. So it was like it was me, him. The takeout bag. Yeah, the takeout bag of the smelly food. It was like, you just picked me up on the way back from dinner.

Might as well get an Uber while I'm out here. Does that smell good? No. Yeah. No. Yeah, the dogs don't get jealous. You know, like before you even get in, you're like, this is about to be a 40-minute conversation. Yeah. Yep. I just put my headphones in. Yeah, you're like, this is about to be a 40-minute conversation. Yep.

I just put my headphones in. Yeah, but they still talk. They don't give a fuck about that. They still go. I just put them in. You just got to act super annoyed when you take off the headphones. What? Yeah.

What? Or just be like, oh, wait, sorry, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking on the phone. Yeah. When I was in Detroit, the Uber driver was, like, mad at me that I was there. What do you mean? He was like, oh, where are you coming from? I was like, New York.

And he's like, oh, what are you paying rent there? What are you doing here? All this shit. He got really mad. My Uber driver today asked me if I was a tourist. Really? That's like the intern of the New York community. You have kind of lost all your King of New York cred.

That's crazy. I've never been asked a question in New York Ubers. Really? Yesterday I got asked if I was going to the police station. What? What the fuck do you think? He was like, you look like a narc. Can you drop this gun off for me? Yeah. Are you going anyway? Because it's got a body on it.

You've never been asked? You also have a, you have a, like I'm off-putting. Yeah. I wasn't going to say off-putting, but your demeanor is like, don't bother that guy. And you already have headphones in by the time he puts you up. I always do, yeah. And it's just like a general, ooh, he's having a bad day.

You get in here first. Is that offensive? No. You don't get to talk to me for 12 minutes. When did Uber come out? Did you guys remember your first tour ride? I resisted for a while I was like I'm not fucking just adding my card to some shit like that

I want to say It was exhilarating wasn't it? I don't remember my first Uber Mine was probably here It feels free It still feels free It used to be really cheap And I remember I Ubered from Boston to Duxbury

And it was like $40 That would be like $800 now. What was the alternative? Driving drunk. Yeah. And we did that a lot. Yeah. It is really amazing that people

get DUIs still. Our hometown, there's one Uber driver and if he's not working, if he's drunk, Ubering and small. And he's still working. Our Uber driver is drinking. And yeah. Ubering in small towns is so weird because like it's always like you order it.

It's like they're 30 minutes. So, yeah. And ordering food. Yeah. On Uber Eats. I've never ordered food at my home. Even like smaller major city. Yeah.

Brandon, did you ever, whatever happened with that guy whose door you broke? Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, his name was Chew. He lives two streets over from me in my hometown, and I never Ubered with him again. I haven't seen him again. I don't know if he got out of there. Oh, he doesn't have a door. He ended up getting it fixed. I gave him $200

cash and said I'm sorry. And I didn't even think that he's just going to have insurance fix it. But then, yeah. He got it. I guess he got it fixed. Brown, let's talk about doors. $200 for the inconvenience of losing a door, though. I tried to pop the doors off the Jeep recently.

I didn't lose the door. I just wouldn't shut back. Yeah. We still got to eat a door. That's not a door. So you have to didn't lose the door. It just wouldn't shut back. Yeah. We still got to eat a door. That's not a door. So you have to drive home with the door open to New Jersey? Yes. Yeah, I guess. I'm holding it. He had to hold across the car.

What was his back door to? Exactly. We do have to eat a door. You broke his back door? Yeah. His biman. You get a condiment? I broke his biman, yeah.

I think you get whatever you want you can eat the door however you want it's how long could it take you to eat a door chinaman's byman chinaman huh you can say that right oh absolutely not you can't say that no like 20 years really yeah are you serious Are you serious? A Chinese person? It's not a China man. No, you can't say that. Oh, sorry. You'd be better off dropping the O.

I actually thought that. The O-bomb. I didn't know that. Or the J-bomb. I didn't know that was a slur. My bad. O-bomb is actually way more acceptable than that. What?

Really? What? Yeah. Really? I didn't know it was a slur until I used it in this category. I didn't think he was okay. So there's like that magazine of like cheap party favors that uses the O bomb. Can I get a list of everything you can't say?

I mean, Chinaman is definitely like that. You should know that. It just sounds like. Yeah. Really, I wouldn't think anything of that. I do. The way he said it too. It's a man from China.

I don't know how that's a. Chinese. He's actually from China? Yeah. Think of it as a derogatory word. He's a Chinese man. It's a man from China. I don't know how that's a... Chinese. He's actually from China? Yeah. Think of it as a derogatory word towards... He's a Chinese man. He's Chinese.

Okay. Like a Japanese person. It just sounds like saying American to me. That's okay. Sorry. All right. Hand up.

Won't say it again. My bad. Learning experience. Can I order my barbecue? Yes. Order two. Order four. Yeah.

Actually, no. Get some Szechuan food and make up for it. Yeah, make up for it with some Szechuan food and make up for it. Yeah, let's get Chinese. Let's get Chinese. Let's get Chinese. Yes, do it. You have to apologize. Remember when you tried to do a diet and you wouldn't eat a hot dog?

Yeah, that was funny. That was good times right there. I'll eat the fuck out of a hot dog right now. Okay. Yeah, I just Twitter searched it. No one that I follow has tweeted it since 2017. Who was it? That's only four years ago.

And he lived in China. Yeah, he had a pass. You don't. How did you search from your followers? Is Donnie here? What? You don't know how to do that? Is Donnie here?

I've got to go ask him if that's... What do you do when you search? I don't think Donnie is here. You search a keyword, then you go and you do it. People I follow? You check people you follow. I would never do that. KB's always checking who said what.

I am always saying. Fuck. Okay. So, yeah. Words, man. Last night, me and Owen saw our boy Florentine at the stand. Oh, you went to a comedy show. He was good.

He was very, very funny, actually. Actually? What's with the seems fine? Nobody replied to it? He said China man, though. Yeah. China man. No.

Stop saying it. This is fine. You guys are overreacting. We're not overreacting. We're not overreacting. We're just telling you that I don't think you can say that. I think you can say that. You're somehow getting it down to one syllable. Why do you want to say it so bad?

I don't want to say it that bad. I just think when I did say it, I don't think I was breaking any laws. I think I'm fine. You know what you should do? Tweet a poll. No, I'm not tweeting it. No, tweet a poll and be like, which of these four words is the least offensive? Which of these slurs can I still say?

What are the other three words? You know what they'll be. Steven, you want to provide some personal insight from experience with your struggles? Steven did react right away. He did. And he said not to do it, and then you did it again. You've said it like 18 times since we brought it up. I've said it twice. Fine. Whatever. We'll say it again. Je said it like 18 times since we since we brought it up i've said it twice

fine whatever what the host jeopardy over here steven when did you learn that this was off limits that is a very old school term that i haven't even heard used some clint eastwood shit yeah yeah yeah he didn't even use it he didn't say that in gran torino no he didn't no he was like oh whoa no let's be... I know it's acting, but I'm not doing that one. But go ahead, Stephen. Go on. Yeah, so I mean, that one is awful.

I feel like Obam, I mean, I feel like I can say Obam, C-word. That's even more recently cancelled than the one that Brandon used. Marlon's man drops O-bombs when we have him on. Does he? Yeah.

It's a directional term. Yeah. It's a seafaring term. It'll be like I took an O-woman to a game last night. He said it on Occident, though. Can you say it about food still? No. You can only say it about rugs.

Rugs are the only thing you can say about. Chicken salads are fine. Oh, yeah, you can't say that for chicken salad. Yeah, you actually can't. Yeah. Huh. Rugs. Yeah, you can say it for rugs.

Tyler O'Day is such a fucking asshole. Yeah. Why is he leaving? I'm now mad. Because the way my brain works is like, if you tell me you're leaving Barstool Forever in two weeks,

I'm like, well, that will never come. Here it is. And now it's tomorrow. And now it's here. And you're not going to be here tomorrow. And I'm not going to be here tomorrow. For the send-off party.

It's like this. When Michael left in the office. Yeah. Are you going to go chase him down at the airport? Are any of you guys going to Enrique's birthday party tomorrow? We're going to run around.

I guess he's just going four blocks away. Four blocks over. His birthday party tomorrow starts at 11 p.m. Love it. Late night. That is a legit party. It's at the rooftop pool. I know.

Margaritaville? I don't know. It's close. You got to go. I know I have to know. It's close. You gotta go. I know I have to go. The whole thing. No, he's not going to. How long is the whole thing?

Just bring your book. The whole thing. I'll bring a book. I love bringing a book. That's what Ben Shapiro used to do. I would bring a book to a party. Well, what did he say about it? He was like, he's wasting his time if he doesn't have a book there.

Yeah, he's going to be stimulated by these boring ass people. Yeah. Oh, Brandon's going to be stimulated by these boring-ass people? Yeah. Oh, Brandon. Someone do the Coors Light. Don't bring attention to it. Ew, Brandon. Wait, I got to see it. I got to get a better look.

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Instacart. Go to CoorsLight.com Take now. Drink a Coors Light, Brandon. Maybe ease it up a little. You need some water. I'm good. Drink a lot of water. Eat a lot of bananas and bacon. I don't think if you do that, you'd start cramping up every 10 minutes. Yeah, you don't eat a lot of bananas.

I do eat a lot of bananas. I eat two bunches of bananas per week. Two bunches? No way. I've never seen you eat one banana. Because I eat it on the train on the way here. It's cat, bro. Or I eat it on the platform waiting for Jay. It's cat, bro.

That's not cat. Have you ever seen him eat a banana? No. Ooh. Why would I see him? Why would he see me eat a banana? Oh, never mind. I was staying with Avery.

Avery goes in with him. Yeah, where's Avery? You don't go on the train with Brandon? I never would. TJ keeps his eyes on him Oh, never mind. I was saying it was Avery. Avery goes in with it. Yeah, where's Avery? You don't go on the train with Brandon? I never would. TJ keeps his eyes on him. I never would. I'm almost certain

I've left a banana peel on Avery's car before. Accidentally, of course. On it? Accidentally. In it. In it. Eat it on the way

and then forget to throw it. Are you just vape on? What? Exhale. Why don't you just exhale then? Exhale, brother. Brandon. Exhale. what exhale why don't you just exhale then exhale brother granted i mean exhale oh there's trace amounts yesterday we were vaping come on we're gonna die soon yesterday when we were at the stand owen owen hit his vape and the waitress came over to like close out and he was like trying to blow it like away so she wouldn't see and it just would not stop coming out.

Like the entire time he was talking to her just going right into her face. I'm a loser. Yeah. It was so funny. It just wouldn't stop. Who else was funny at the stand last night? It was a really good show.

It was one of the better ones we've been to. Tell me who was funny. Dan Soder was there. Jim Florentine. It was a really good show. It was one of the better ones we've been to. Tell me who was funny. Dan Soder was there. It was fucking hilarious. Florentine was great. Florentine had one joke that was pretty crazy and he got a,

oh, the whole crowd. Oh. What was the theme of it? Letting his son get molested. Yeah, he said that. Get him on this show.

Yeah, why is he on this show Why isn't he on the show He said he didn't want His kid to go to I know Don't spoil the joke Don't spoil his joke bro You can't be telling him

Did you get up there Go see him and find out No but I actually Someone came up to me And asked me if I wanted To be on a show In September And what did you say

I said of course Where I can tell you Wait someone came up to you And asked you what If I wanted to You look funny, son. Wanted to be on whose show?

Like a comedian. Like he said he hosts a show in New York. Him and Attell. Not Attell. Was Dan Soder funny? Dan Soder was hilarious. Everyone was really funny. I was laughing the whole time through.

Usually there's a couple people that suck. You're a professional comedian. You did your job. Yeah, congrats. But usually there's a couple people that suck and it gets really awkward and you're just waiting for them to get off. But everyone was good.

Who else? It was a good time. Who's a person? Or anyone that's been bad? Yeah, the host was a woman. She was very funny. Oh, she was a woman? The host was a woman.

The host was a lady. Used to be. And then there was this old lady who was very funny. Really? Really awkward, though. Made me uncomfortable. Ew. Yuck.

She was an action comedian, right? She had no fear of, like, talking to people in the crowd and, like, making it so awkward. But, like, not in a funny way. In, like, a very uncomfortable way. That's that menopause shit, bro. Yeah, menopause. You hit that menopause and you stop caring.

You stop giving a fuck. Your filter is gone. It's the best time to be a woman. Post-menopause. Yeah. Yeah, that's facts. That's when you start like morphing in just to like a...

A truth killer. You lose your femininity. In like a sexy way. Once you hit a shirt. You start losing your femininity in a sexy way. Once you hit a shirt. Losing your femininity in a sexy way. Are you talking about Hilldog? Yeah, I feel like an elderly woman is just a being. You're talking about Hillary, aren't you?

You're visualizing Hillary as you say this. An amorphous blob. Women aren't women to you unless they exude sexual energy. Unless they can reproduce. That's what sexual energy. Unless they can reproduce. That's what it is. Unless they can make me a baby, they're not a woman. Okay, got it. Well, that's just natural male instinct.

Spread our seed, bro. You can't blame us for having primal instinct. We just want to fuck. That's what Nick Cannon's doing right now. George Foreman did it. Yeah, George Foreman named all his kids George. So did Crow Marty.

He named them all Crow Marty. Yeah. Crow Marty, Crow Marty. I'll get 50 bucks if someone can spell camaraderie. C-A-M-A-R-A-D-A-R-I-E. If you do it all at once,

no one gets money. All right, Rone, you go. No, no, you go. No, you go. C-A-M-A-R-A-D-A-R-I-E. If you do it all at once, no one gets money. All right, Roan, you go. No, no, you go. No, you go. C-A-M-A-R-A-D-A-R-I-E. He's out. Camaraderie. When did George Foreman die?

Camaraderie. He's not dead. C-A-M-R-A-D-A-R-I-E. Muhammad Ali, he's done 16. All right, do it again, Roan. Roan and I will go every other letter. C-A-M-R-A-D-A-R-I-E. Oh, no. He's out. No. Okay, he's out no okay he's out i'm back in c a m a r a d a r i e that was close all right c a m a r a m a r a d Nah. There's a lot of A's in that. R-A-M-A-D-A-N.

3.1486271294. You were off from the third. No, that's his pin number, brother. No, I just did pi. I know pi pretty good. I know Brandon knows it off the top. Oh, he just looked it up. How many do you know? I the top So does probably Oh he just looked it up How many do you know

I knew it I feel like you just looked it up And you still don't know it No I do know it I looked it up to see if I knew it What is it Spell it C-A-M-A

R-A-D-E-R-E-I No You just looked it up E-I E-I Is this China What word ends in I-E God damn it I-E Fuck What ends in E-I-E-I-E. His name is China? What word ends in I-E? What are you? God damn it, I-E.

Fuck. What ends in an E? I was right there. I was right there. E before E. Fucking Nelly over here. Fucking Nelly. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. I-E. Fuck. I would do anything to be a Saint Lunatic. Yeah, I would. Those songs were violent, too. Yeah. Your street in a Range Rover.

Boom, boom, baby. Cocked, ready to let it go. But it sounded fun. Those songs were violent too Yeah Your street in a Range Rover Boom boom baby Cocked ready to let it go But it sounded fun Because he did Shimmy Shimmy Coco what Listen to it now That's the old That's the old

Trent tweet The Saint Lunatics Search Trent's Twitter When he's like Saint Lunatics are on It's gonna be a long night And then he got arrested Like an hour later

And a whole bottle of Goldschlager later Or Rumpelmintz It's going to be a long night, and then you got arrested like an hour later. And a whole bottle of Goldschlager later, or Rumpelmintz. What was he called? Rumpelmintz? Rumpelmintz. Legend. I was thinking of Gary Coleman, by the way. George Foreman, Gary Coleman.

Yeah. Yep. Do people think that Gary Coleman's girlfriend killed him? There is that conspiracy, I think. i was reading up on that damn same with verne troyer there we go the bar started playing saint lunatic so i'll see you monday and then he got arrested that night like an hour later we all thought that he had died because it was back in the day when we were like all on g chat blogging and he just didn't blog anything. And then at, I don't know, like 9 o'clock at night on that Friday, he got let out of jail.

I was like, yeah, I got arrested. He was in jail until Friday night? Because he had to sober up. So he was in jail until 9 p.m.? Maybe not 9 p.m. It was maybe 6 or something, but let's see. He's in a drunk tank. I got a text from but... Let's see. He's in the drunk tank. I got a text from a brother around...

I have a treadmill in the drunk tank. Ready? I got a text from my brother... I got a text from my brother around 10pm on Thursday asking if I wanted to meet him for a drink at the bar that is literally across the street from my apartment. I thought, why the hell not? Have a couple drinks, shoot the shit about how

CJ Bethard is going to shock everybody and win the Heisman. Done and done. At some point, my uncle showed up at the bar, and there's few things he loves in the world more than shots of Rumpelmints and lots of it. So that's what we did. Pretty sure we drank it all. Around midnight, I carried my brother to a cab and proceeded to go back into the bar, rip more shots of Rumpelmints with my uncle. It was a great time. St. Lunatic's blasting.

Me pretending to know how to dance and last all around. And then he's like, this is where the little fuzzy on the deets. Saint Lunatics blasting me pretending to know how to dance and last all around and then I got and then he's like this is where the little fuzzy on the deets and then he basically but that's the most

important part whatever happens right after that like he was having a lot of fun and then and that

there it is that so funny I can't believe they put him in a jumpsuit yeah that's crazy I feel like the drunk tanker That looks like he was in

That looks like he was in fucking prison Penitentiary Yeah like Pound me in the ass prison I feel like he could've just gotten They could've just left him in a cell And let him sober out Dry out

But he gets paid That's probably why they kept him in there They get paid by the minute Why did he get arrested Just for being too drunk He was Yeah Fucking private prisons

He had to have done something He hit a cop Uh no He just like Was stumbling around That's crazy You go to jail for that It's just a drunk tank

It's not like He's got a felony But they put him In the prison In the fucking orange suit He better not get drunk This weekend He had to have hit a cop they put him in the prison oranges. In the fucking orange suit. He better not get drunk this weekend. He had to have hit a cop.

They had him on the chain gang. You hit a cop, you're going in. What is that from? Good Will Hunting. You hit a cop, you're going in. David.

Go ahead. Yeah, I'm going home this weekend, so there will be no drinking. Your parents still... Just fucking. ...recard you when you come in? Yeah.

No, your parents are just like, as long as it's under our roof, we can keep it. Did your parents do... The most awkward thing is when you come back from college and they're like, when you're 18 or 19, they're like, go ahead, you can have a beer. I know you're drinking at college. It's like, ugh. Yeah. Shut up.

No, thank you. No, thank you. It makes your skin crawl. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. I'm going to steal all your liquor when you go to sleep at 9.30. Share a whole garden with your old man. That shit really did disgust me. Yeah, like, no thank you. Drinking with your parents is like one of the least

enjoyable things on the planet. At my age. Smoking weed with your parents. At my age. Definitely more least enjoyable. Because the planet. At my age. Smoking weed with your parents. At my age. Definitely more least enjoyable. Because the entire time, they're like, you definitely know all their thoughts. Like, wow, we took down that one pretty fast.

Yeah. Is this a problem? They're right on the verge of telling you to slow down at all times. Maybe you should slow it down. Maybe mix it in water. White's hair is like, legit orange.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The fact that there was even a debate about it was so stupid did you guys talk about mincey and the shock collar no that was crazy that is so fucking funny even if this was a fake thing which it probably was the setup still could not be like it could easily not be fake then if I post that picture, everyone's like, oh, nice fake thing. But Billy... It looked so real. He really... I know the men's part is probably real.

I mean... Look at that. Men's would absolutely let him just put the shot collar on him. He's not that good of an actor. I just need a live... He'd be a print model. Dude, I need a live stream of their apartments. Because it's just...

It's fascinating. They're so opposite people. And they're... I think they're best friends. But Mincy's just down for it, it's fascinating. They're so opposite people. And I think they're best friends. Mincey's just down for it, though. Yeah. He's just like, I'll go on the journey. Yeah, I will get shocked to get this cookie. Run through the electric gate.

Did he eat the cookie? What if he just was so ravenous that he just ate it through the shock? He's just getting tased and hammered. Billy takes out his taser to add to it. He said the reason it worked was he doesn't really like cookies. He said if it was ice cream. If it were ice cream, he would have gotten shocked, but he was able to resist the cookie.

So he just sat there with the shock collar. And he looked exactly like you would look if you had a shock collar on your throat. Yeah. Like a broken dog. He is Billy's dog. Billy has a dog. He is Billy's dog. Absolutely. Billy has a dog.

He's got two dogs now. I wonder if he stopped loving his other dog when Mintz came along. I think that's Mintz's dog now. What if Mintz gets jealous and eats Billy? Possible. Topping before. Topping before. It's a dangerous combination of jealousy and extreme hunger.

He's also a bought man, too. He's a bought man. He's been bought. He's kind of a slave to Billy right now. Do you think they hang out a lot the whole day at home? Yes. Definitely. They apparently share a porch, share a deck.

Yeah, because they share a vacancy that had a balcony or something along the lines of that. A riddle. Yeah. All right. Should we end the show? Yep. Sure. Yes.

Tomorrow. Donnie. Sorry, China. Yes. Sorry, China. No, you've got to say sorry to the men of China. And the women. I think they would.

And the bi-men. Not the women. Sorry to bi-men China. And the women. I think they would. And the bi men. Not the women. Sorry to bi men everywhere. There it is. Extending the apology to Taiwan. Taiwan? It's complicated. It's complicated.

Yeah. It's the act. Thank you.