The Yak - Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall Take On The Yak Gauntlet | The Yak 11-28-23

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Brandon's like a chick at the bars LOLYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hey, it's the Yak. We're just talking about 2013 Jordan Lynch because he's in the office right now. Should have won the Heisman. Jordan Lynch from Northern Illinois? Yeah, he just won. Should have won the Heisman that year, right? He had 47 touchdowns, 3,000 passing, 2,000 rushing.

Should have won the Heisman. Hello, Yak, sponsored by Roback. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Promo code Yak, 20% off today and the end of this week. What's up, boys? Hey.

Hey. Hey. You know who was giving NIU fits back then? Bowling Green, Kent State. Dre Archer. Bowling Green beat him in the MAC in 2013, I want to say. Dre Archer, very fast. Remember him, Brandon?

Panned out. Who did he play for in the NFL? Stillers. Yes. Girls would line up to fuck him. Really? Physical cues. Yeah, same with Noel Devine at WVU. He left his door open. Okay. Stiller. Girls would line up to fuck him. Really? Physical cues. Yeah. Same with Noel Devine at WVU. He left his door open.

Nice. That's the fuck? Yeah. Oklahoma drills the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, it was just in, out, in, out. That's how it was. Yeah.

Yeah. Next. Big Cat, tier the Mac football programs for me. Oh, man. Okay. Are we talking about- Just like all time. All time?

Well- An NEBS. all time being like your lifetime okay so like 90s and on um oh man all right kent state did have some nice teams just vibes i'm just going on vibes okay vibes vibes i'll go uh tier one is gonna be Kent State. It's going to be... I don't know about that. Why not? What about vibes? Of vibes. Players you remember, vibes.

I mean, the Bobcats got to be high, right? Ohio. Toledo, for sure, tier one. Everybody can't be tier one. I can do as many tier ones as I want. Bowling Green had a run at one point, right? Yeah. Didn't they have a quarterback of the fucking Canada? Omar Jacobs. Yeah, I remember. Urban Meyer came through Bowling Green had a run at one point, right? Yeah. Didn't they have a quarterback of the fucking Canada? Omar Jacobs.

Yeah. I remember. Urban Meyer came through Bowling Green. Yeah. Kent. Miami of Ohio. Do you want tier two? I think Western Michigan produces a lot, right?

They had the one P.J. Fleck here. Just everyone's tier. Western Michigan was Antonio Brown, right? They were passionately tearing back. Western Michigan tier two. Kent State tier two. EMU last. Is that why? Ak're passionately tearing Mac. Michigan tier two. Kent State tier two. EMU last. Is that why?

Akron last. Buffalo last. Cleo Mac with the Buffalo. Yeah. NIU maybe tier three. Ball State hasn't done too much. Nate Davis. Yeah.

Nate Davis. Yeah. Bel Air, Ohio. Jason Whitlock. There we go. David Letterman, right? Central Michigan is tough-ass school. Central C and then Ball State D.

Fire up chips, is that what they say? Yeah. Yeah, fire up chips. Speaking of shitty Mac teams, I got a package. I don't know what it is from West Lafayette. It should be Mac teams. Oh, damn, Purdue. That was a seamless segue there.

Are you going to open it? Time for another unboxing? Yeah. Time for another unboxing. Are you aware, Kyle, that the Boilermakers are the new number one in college basketball? They are back atop the AP. Bingham Banner, December number one. Third year in a row they've been the ranked number one. What do we think this is?

They'll lose to Evansville. What'd you get, man? Come on. A kid on Christmas, yeah. Oh. Whoa. Oh, another piece. Oh, you bought a gun.

Oh, I bought this. It just happened to be from West Lafayette. Hell yeah. A Purdue gun. Oh, that's awesome. What is that? It's a gun. It's a Boilermaker. No, it has nothing to do with Purdue.

I got this from Etsy. Wait, what? But why did you get it? I bought it. You had to buy a gun. Right. Oh, okay. Remember?

But you have a gun. You already bought a gun upstairs. This is a Najee Harris four-yard touchdown run up the middle gun. It's a Mike Evans 22-yard pass touchdown run. Parlay pay for it That's a pretty good one man Pretty fucking cool dude Can I see the gun

It's nice it's got a safety on it too What's it shoot Nothing I don't think It's just a prop That's what Alec Baldwin said Yeah load it dude What are there things to load it with? Oh, you left my keys in the box thing.

I was excited. An all-time moot conundrum. Where the fuck are my keys? No bullets, just keys. Yeah, I think it's just a prop. Okay. Yeah, this gun also doesn't seem... I think it sucks. It doesn't seem I think it sucks

It doesn't seem very functional at all It's like something someone bought And then they added this piece that It does nothing Breaks it You're over on guns I can't buy guns Because the other one you bought

That cool ass like AR It didn't work No this gun does nothing Well you took a shot Sorry boys Yeah KB bought like a $400 airsoft gun And it didn't work And it just didn't work

It would be great if you could time it out That every single show started with you opening up a new gun Every single, yeah Wait, what are you doing? It's almost broke, I want to break it I know, I think Don't break it, don't break it Let me see

Break that gun I think it's from a video game I don't know the video game I'm waiting for like a laser beam to shoot out DJ The only person that said anything was Bioshock, but Bioshock Bioshock? Yeah

Dude, another gun What a segment Maybe it's gun of the day You bought that instead of a nice night out with the lady Yeah, I guess You were thinking of your way out of that No, that just destroyed me mentally Oh no You were like, no you were thinking of your way out of that no that just destroyed me mentally oh no yeah you were

like no mook yeah and grand 10 grand yeah and a mookie what are you gonna do yeah pick out a gun i got i got stuff to pay off brother i uh but i am gonna treat myself to something as you should so that was the update on the cyber monday is that uh thank you everyone who bought stuff 10 grand to every producer at barstool sports pretty awesome yeah also i want to apologize to the yak fans uh we sold 1800 books i have to stop i have to start respecting yak fans more because we when we decided to do this book remember tj we had the conversation and we were like let's sell 200 i don't think we can sell 200 yep i am i am now for the next thing we do because i feel bad there were some people saying that they watched the show later and they weren't able to get the

book um i feel bad so from here on forward i'm i'm putting respect on the yak fans names i think it's partially because like we do this show and it's really stupid overall that like i don't even think like who would watch us but there's a lot and they love us and they buy our stuff so i'm gonna put respect on the yak fans time to put respect on their names i didn't think we could sell 200 books we sold 1800 and now that that was a great test too because like that is something that objectively thank you to everyone who bought the book but you should not have bought that book. That is an item that nobody should have bought.

That's a chat W right there. Yeah. I don't know, man. It's kind of like a special thing to have, and it feels good to be on the inside of an inside joke. So having that, you're so far in, and people are going to see that, and you can't explain. There's multi-levels.

The book as a whole will probably suck but there there's going to be some good moments in it yeah that's all that matters and we got to make it we got to figure out what our new book's going to be i'm a little concerned actually i picked uh i bought two yesterday and i picked out two people that missed the chance to get the books on the yak discord and i'm gonna i mail i've got their address want to mail it to them yeah what if they're under 18 am Am I sending them pornography? Yes. Yeah, you are.

Felony, yeah. I haven't mailed it yet. Schedule three. The two people I chose DM me on Discord and I guess proved to me you're an adult. Yeah. Standing in front of a leather couch. Yeah. We've got to figure out what our next book's going to be because now I'm in the mood to write some more books.

I think it's got to come organically. Plural. Books. Yeah, books. Next Black Friday, we promise there will be a box set. We're writing a book before that. Yeah. No, no, we'll have a box set of three books.

Yeah. It feels good to be like a respected author. Yeah. Numbers-wise. Do y'all want to stay fiction or do y'all want to get into like the life advice game? Why couldn't we do a cookbook on a FIAC draft sometime? Yeah. Love a cookbook. Well, yeah, I agree, though.

Organically. We gotta just let it happen. I love the Stephen Che single idea, but I think something better will come up. We should write a fiction book about Stephen Che's life. His origin story? Non-fiction. Crazier, yeah. The adult orphan? Yeah, we could write about the adult

orphan a day in the life of the adult or nikki smokes is going to give us a book report on the on the uh new york times bestseller on friday so he's reading it he's sitting there i wonder if he has gotten horny at all he told i i asked him i was eating lunch and i asked him are you getting horned up reading it and he said there's a lot of gay stuff. Yeah, he said it was too gay. He's like, we need more pussy. He's like, amen, brother. Yeah, Brandon's chapter was all about fucking me. He's like, I didn't like it.

Yeah. He said the only person that talked about pussy so far was TJ. Oh. Not true. Mine had to fill in the blank so you could put dick or pussy. Oh, that was his fault. So it was his fault. Oh.

Oh, he put dick and I'm the first chapter. Damn. So I know he his fault. Smart. So it was his fault. Oh, he put dick, and I'm the first chapter. Damn. So I know he saw it. Whoa. Damn. That's mad sus. Nicky smokes. Interesting.

Yeah, he was like, oh, this is gay. My chapter has a lot of pussy. Of course. Are you eating? Does that pussy eating? Oh, God. Yes. Oh, God.

Forgot that Che wrote a chapter yeah are you guys gonna read it no it's kind of cool like knowing I don't know what you guys wrote it's also like a nice surprise if someone tells me about it and I'm like oh really that's fucking awful I didn't know

there was a chapter about me getting fucked by Brandon my name's on that yeah that's cool is pretty extreme as well. Yeah. Extreme. Extreme. I don't want to give it away.

I want people to read it, but it's a good storyline. Extreme authoring. Wait, TJ, did you read the whole book? I went through the whole book. I don't know if I would call it a reading. It's so bad it doesn't count as reading. Oh, man. And the stream yesterday was. Right, right. Oh, man.

And the stream yesterday was a lot of fun. Oh, yeah. That was fun. Thank you everyone for tuning in. A beautiful disaster. I am addicted to giving technicals.

Mm-hmm. It was the ref show. It was, well, I'm sure there actually are people that were, like, pissed off at me and Jerry for being like,

how do you, you're calling this all willy-nilly. I don't want to give too much away, but the goal was to get to a point where we could have one final thing where we could compete. That would have taken so long. We were giving out 50-point free throws.

You gave Brandon's team 1,000 free throws. You're like, if you just make one of the 1,000. Well, it was great because Titus and Brandon, independently, they would keep coming up to me and they'd be like, hey, you know we're down right now and i was like all right i got it i got it i'll fix it i'll fix it like they just flip-flop they're like you gotta fucking call it we're jerry jerry kept uh coming up to me asking me the rules of basketball he's like in the lane is it three seconds or five seconds i was like it's three seconds jerry's like okay

okay and then like you know maybe the 10 seconds later he blows his whistle he's like boop three seconds three seconds i don't know if you can find the clip, TJ, but my favorite moment of the whole stream was when McKenzie hit a layup and no one was even close to her, and both Jerry and I called an and one, and everyone knew it was coming. Like no one was even close to touching her. Like no matter what happens here, it's going to be an and one. I was getting so pissed off people were having layups in a game to 1,000.

I know. Dude, we were getting irate. Fasoli was playing real one. I was getting so pissed off. People were having layups in a game to a thousand. I know. Dude, we were getting irate. Fasoli was playing real basketball. He was playing real basketball. I think they were trying. There were like four guys out there. Fasoli is devastated. Fasoli is pissed the fuck off.

He got LVP. He says we fucked him. He texts me and Kyle afterwards. He's like, you guys fucked me. You set me up for LVP and to lose the money. Yeah. You guys told him to say split it? Yeah, but we also, like, we gave him LVP,

and he was like, I scored 150 points for my team playing bocce. Yeah. Bocce was a dud. A big dud. I just went. I didn't even win. Yeah, I took a break. I went and sat down for a second, took a break,

and then, like, five minutes later, someone came over. They're like, bocce's really boring. And I just stood second, took a break, and then like five minutes later someone came over. They're like, bocce's really boring. And I just stood up and I was like, all right, game over. We cut home run derby and kept bocce. Bocce outlasts like getting the mail as far as senior activity. Yeah. No, bocce's fun if it's like old Italian dance play. Yeah, they're so old.

You only need to stand. Crazy longevity on bocce is fun if it's like old italian dance play yeah they're so old you don't need you only need to stand crazy longevity on bocce yeah it worked out that we caught home run derby by the way because the ace up my team sleeve was that max was going to do the home run derby max was declared ineligible he was on the ir but we had worked out like i talked to him i was like can you do anything and he's like i showed him the list he's like i could probably swing a bat so i was like he played baseball yeah he played baseball matt sounds like you're definitely you're definitely going to be our home run derby guy and as the event was progressing i was i i was really excited at first for for max to be our ace up to sleeve but then i realized this might be the last thing we do and it all might come down to this yeah i was like this

is he would have this is a disaster he has a very good swing he his baseball stats are very funny in college i think he i think he had like 50 at bats and he had three home runs and they were all pinch hit home runs he said he would just come in for one like one at bat a game that's pretty awesome yeah 3d1 home runs that's pinch hit home runs he would just come in and they just if you got on base they'd take him out right away that's great but i was worried you wouldn't be able to resist fucking with him. Oh, yeah. I would have teed him up the minute he stepped on the court. Yeah, exactly.

Fungus boy. So it worked out well for us. Yeah, that was good. And then obviously surviving Barstool episode one. Oh, look at him. There we go. Fucking beast. Playing a little first base.

Yeah. He's still living in that thing. Holy shit. Three home runs. There it is. 2- holy shit three home runs there it is 218 three home runs not bad wait how many stat line so 50 yeah i was about right 55 at bats three home runs so if he had played if he played a full mlb season he would have had about 35 home runs that's great pretty good player yeah what a beast no triples um yeah we had surviving barstool episode one I'm out if I hope that's not a

spoiler to anyone I won't yeah I'm out no no no was that editing trickery or were you just as shocked as the audience I was shocked I so Tommymmy deserves credit but also i was the worst barstool survivor player of all time i think it's pretty fair to say i didn't even contemplate how the votes would go like i was so stupid and i drafted a team for content and i like wrote my own demise so i think i go down as the worst of all time. How was the rest of your week? Did you have a hotel? I had a hotel, but all right.

So it's a hotel was nice. It did suck because I basically had to come into the office every day and watch all my friends play games together. And I was just like, I really want to play games with my friends. And they voted to not play games with you. Yeah, they voted to not play games with me. Yeah. play games with my friends and they voted to not play games with yeah they voted to not play games yeah i mean i guess there's only like if you're gonna be if you're gonna get voted off you might as well be the worst player and uh i they they did start the game during nfl sunday which like

there was a there was a london game too so i was watching that uh but i really can't blame anyone but my own dumb fucking did all right and that game was amazing your game was a lot of rico was killing me yeah my god so funny superstar so funny and nate yeah yeah i did a bad job there i should have stayed you were good in that game yeah so i i literally can't even like i was blindsided to the point where i was like wait oh yeah, Tommy has an idol. That is how the votes go.

I've never watched an episode of the survivor. I just spent the whole week being like, I'm the dumbest person in life. Like I, I can't even, my whole plan was to just survive Sunday and then start focusing on Monday because I was watching football on Sunday and I didn't even get past Sunday. Think of it like the bachelor though

like if it's better to get out first than to fall in love and that's true what you want the only yeah and the only the only reason I was pissed about the NFL Sunday is we the schedule that week so it was Sunday morning to Thursday night taping Saturday we had to go to LSU that Friday we had nothing so there was literally no reason to start on Sunday we could have just finished the show on Friday um yeah I'm an idiot I'm a moron I feel bad I would have liked to hang out longer with my friends as a guy who hasn't watched yet because I was saving it for uh later today and um I guess maybe now I don't need to watch. What was the rationale behind you getting voted off? Dave thought, so I picked bad teams.

It's a team of seven, right? I would still watch. I picked my team. Well, I mean, I kind of know everything that happened. Yeah, I picked my team based on fun. So I picked my team. It was me, Jerry, PFT, Rico, Tommy, Dave and Gaz. I picked my team based on like fun. I wanted like the weirdest content.

I also that was my demise because Dave, Gaz and Tommy were like, well. Dan picked Jerry and PFT and like there's like clear lines in this. And then Tommy got an idol idol he found an idol and so we all tried to vote tommy off and i just didn't even it didn't even dawn on me that like you can't vote someone off with an idol and that way it just goes to the next person i was the next person like there was a moment when i was watching nfl sunday where i think rico said like we should all vote for gaz instead and i was like nah we'll just get Tommy out like I got this game on we'll figure out on

Monday like that's how stupid I was so yeah worst worst of all time worst play the check player of all time the check clip yeah yeah this is what this I'm happy had this clip because this was this was our for guys who had football as their job like this was our headspace

this is 1245 eastern on sunday yeah i mean dave's not all of us like hey had i before every bears game i always ask you yeah perhaps you like is there anything specific that stands out to you i thought dave was just doing the same thing 15 minutes before kickoff but had y'all just drafted your teams yeah so so what happened was they so we drafted during the london. I think it was Bill's Jaguars. So we're trying to watch that game while we're drafting. Then they're like, all right, disperse. We'll come back for a challenge in like four hours.

Me, Che, PFT, I think Dave even all sat down and watched all of NFL Sunday. Where I know Tommy says he found the idol before the game started, but I also like didn't have conversations with anyone about how the vote was going to go because I was watching football. So stupid of me. And then, yeah, this was where Chase Headspace was in. How do you feel about your team? Bucks?

No. We're playing a game, Steve. All right. All right again. All right. Great response. But I'm happy that clip exists because Steven echoes where my head was at. No, no, no, no, no, no. all right all right great response but i'm happy that clip exists because steven

echoes where my head was at yeah no no no no no no steven would have done that on tuesday 7 a.m you're grasping at straws here see steve was thinking about football i thought we're talking about football dave was going to watch too so like i don't that made sense to me in the moment but yeah we had just drafted teams yeah i took a massive l i think i think if you like mapped out all of my gameplay it was like i made the wrong decision at every point so it's pretty funny yeah well it's not surprising i was out like i i played it back all of monday when i was just sitting in my hotel room i was like yeah that was a mistake that was a mistake like, yeah, that was a mistake. That was a mistake. That was a mistake. That was a mistake. The fake idol with Jerry was so funny. Oh, yeah. He was a hairspray.

I wish I was around for more of that. Go watch it, though. It's very well produced. Yeah, I'd do it again. I'd try to actually survive more than... I guess that's the one silver lining is that I've set the bar so low for myself. If we ever play it again, if I can make it past

one day, I'm a success. But if you don't. Then I'm – well, then it would just reconfirm that I'm the worst player. Yeah. Which I already am. Yeah. I really wish I – Has anyone ever got last place more than once in the same event?

Definitely. Hmm. Has anyone done back-to-back first picks in the NFL draft? The Lions? Yeah, right? Purdue lost to a 15 seed and then a 16 seed. Yeah, that's true. Also, the Cavs.

Remember the Cavs had all those in the lottery. They had the number one pick. That's the lottery, yeah. Did it go Stafford to Sioux? Sioux was two. Yeah. There's got to be like an Olympic team that's last in something. I mean the Czech lacrosse team.

But even to like make the Olympics, I bet you. Didn't the Cowboys do it in the late 80s? They might have. So I'm going for that. Yeah. Then they won a lot of Super Bowls. Yeah, you're due. I don't think so.

This has happened. Cleveland Browns, 1999-2000, Tim Couch, Courtney Brown. But 1999 was given to them. Because they were expansion. do i don't think so this has happened cleveland browns 1999 2000 tim couch courtney brown but 1999 was given to them because they were expansion right yeah that was expansion huh well yeah do tune in it was i mean the editors are incredible it was a great great show together a great show i said this before i think it might be the best episode of any series we've ever put out. I can see that. It was so fucking good.

We've never edited non-linear like that. It was very, very, very good television. Yeah, it's probably that or Barstool Shopping Network. I should watch it. I didn't watch it last night because I was... Yeah, you should. I should watch it? Yeah, you should.

Oh, Shopping Network. I didn't watch the first episode of Survivor because I didn't want to watch myself be so stupid. But I should probably watch it? Yeah, you should. Oh, shopping that way. I didn't watch the first episode of Survivor because I didn't want to watch myself be so stupid. But I should probably watch it. I don't think it was edited to make you look stupid. No, no. I felt very stupid. I felt very, very stupid.

It was just you, like, chilling. Yeah, that's exactly what I was, and that was a huge mistake. Dave said it. He was like, everyone is just watching football right now. They're idiots. Like, they should be figuring stuff out. The biggest, yeah, the biggest idiot. Yeah.

Yeah, so go watch it. It was fun for the four hours I was in it. And then I sat in a hotel room. Nice hotel room. Met Derek White from the Celtics that week. Did he have hair at the time? He did. He had a hat on.

Felt like an all-time idiot because I was like, you know, when you're in an elevator with someone and you're like, all right, this person's famous. I'm going to try to maybe make a little small talk. And I was like, hey, you guys got a game tonight? He's like, yeah. I was like, I have a podcast. My producer's a huge Celtics fan.

And he was just like, yeah, I know your podcast. Oh. He was the guy that wore the Son of a Boy Dad sweatshirt. Yeah, he's... Oh, shit. Yeah, no, he said he would come on. Nice. I've been on the elevator with two famous people, Brandon Guess. Oh.

Okay. All right. Brandon just wouldn't know? I want to hear everyone's best random famous person story. Does it got to be an elevator? No, it could be anything. Both of mine are elevator. One's in New York.

Both very well before Barstool. Both black. Oh, okay. It's a Washington. Al Roker. No, I wish. No. One was in Pittsburgh.

Wiz Khalifa. Ruben. Stutter. Ruben Stutter. I was trying to get a double one. Trying to get a little more, yeah. So you went. Ruben. Stutter. Ruben Stutter. I was trying to get a double one. You were trying to get a little more, yeah. So you went with Ruben. Michael Strahan.

No, no. All right. You got to tell us, is it music, film? Pittsburgh. Athlete from Pittsburgh. Oh, Aaron Donald. No. George Pickens.

This was probably 2014. Enos Cantor. I don't know if he's from pitt i think he is yeah he's definitely from pittsburgh no no no no i'm no yeah a stealer from pittsburgh no not a stealer it was durell revis oh i was freaking out that's pretty cool did you talk to him no okay no and the other one um actor from angels in the outfield danny glover oh wow that's a good one damn where was danny glover he was at a hotel that i was staying in with my family i have the 1991 sec tournament in nashville shaquille o'neal whoa yeah and my mom got him to sign a five dollar bill which i still have you still have it still have it somewhere it's probably my mom got him to sign a $5 bill which I still have

you still have it? still have it somewhere you know what you should do? sign it as well I haven't seen it in a while I wonder if the pen I bet your dad got his hands on it damn

Shaquille O'Neal my favorite random famous person was when we were at Florida State for Florida State Notre Dame Dave and I were doing the prelude to what has become the college football show. And it was quite sad because we had it. We did. It was basically a whole dumb and dumber to ad spend. So we had to dress up as dumb and dumber to.

Yeah. Like with the tuxedos. And we did a college football show in the tuxedos like three or four different spots i remember we went to ohio state and kids were just throwing beer cans at us because we were on like a it was like a just a regular like one of those white cheap tables in the front of a frat lawn uh but we were at this frat in florida state up walks dickie V he's got he has printed out sheets that have his Facebook and his signature and he was just handing them out oh that's so cool and then the whole reason he walked up to this frat was he had to take a shit and he was just like you got a bathroom in here and then his wife stood outside the door while he went in and took a shit and then he just walked back out

and just handed out a few more and oh he's like that yeah was he trying to promote his facebook no i think he like in like it was right around when pictures when people would do selfies but not maybe all the way there so like signatures still probably existed so he just pre-signed a bunch of like postcards so he would just hand it to people being like yeah i'm dickie v it's pretty cool power move yeah yeah just walk up and take a shit too have your wife stand outside the door lorraine i think sir he's got he's got like the skip bayless thing where like if i strangely know yeah his wife because he does social media he used to do his like uh he's new twitter lives earnest

they don't sleep in the same bed. Only one night a week. Yeah. Where Dickie V. Oh, yeah. That's kind of cool. Lorraine, get my Pepto Bismol. He's got a little Stu Feiner in him. He'd do like Twitter lives where he would just, it would just be like a live of his

breakfast at like a diner. Like this is what I'm eating. Yeah. Dickie V. If I remember correctly, never eats at home. Yes. Every meal he home. Yes. Every meal he eats. Yes.

What? He eats out every single meal. Every single meal. Every single meal. I love that. Yes. I hate that. That's the best.

That's horrible. Yeah. No, I don't think that's horrible. I think it's actually great, though, because you're being alone. But if you're an old person and he only works, what, 20 times a year? Like, what do you have to do every day? Yeah. If you just say, I'm going to eat every meal out,

like, your day's full. Yeah. And eating alone at home, I'm afraid of choking every bite. He's not alone. I am. Oh. Nick never eats alone. Uh-uh.

He only eats cookies. No, I'll just puree my shit At home What's your What's your famous I don't have any You don't have a You've never met I'm through Barstool

Like just in passing But I don't have the eye For like a star I don't I wouldn't know If I was around I

I lived in Manhattan For five years I don't have the eye For a star I didn't I had to have been around a celebrity in Manhattan. Yeah. And I don't know.

I'm trying to think. My first day walking into the barstool office, I walked past Anthony, the bisexual chef. See, I would never know if I walked past him. Oh, did he ever get followed back by the other guy? He unfollowed Bobby. Okay, did he never followed Bobby back? No. We should get like 10 people to come through the office

and KB has to identify whether they're famous or not. Yeah. Yeah, won't be able to. That would be 30%. Oh, did you see that video of Frank? Oh, so good. What was Frank doing? He was identifying producers at Barstool

and they flashed him a picture of Ice Spice and he's like, I've never seen her in this building. Play it. Liam made the video.'s so it's so frank have you had a famous encounter oh yeah uh not really not that I can think of I met Rovell one time which doesn't really count that would be huge for me like that'd be bigger for me to meet Rovell where did you meet Rovell I was setting up at a card show in New Jersey, and he just came up to our booth with a backpack. We were like, what's up, Darren?

And he just started unloading the backpack and showing us his shit. That's an authentic Ravel experience. Yeah. No, I got, like, the full thing. Did you ask to see him? No. Oh, that's perfect. No, he just came up with the backpack.

I was like, how you doing, man? Like, what are you looking for today? And he just like unloaded his backpack, showed me like a Chris Farley SNL ticket. Yeah. He had cool stuff. Want to see some Rosa Parks? Yeah, he didn't pull that stuff out. Oh, shit.

What were you doing at the card show? I was setting up as a dealer with my brother. Oh. Shout out to my brother. It's his birthday today. Oh, shout out to your brother. He used to have a card podcast. Did you?

What? Yeah. I didn't know. He's into cards. Yeah. Yeah, I was like deep into it. He's gotten me and Kyle cards as gifts. Great cards. Wait, how old were you when you were doing your card podcast?

It was like two years ago. Oh. I was in Philly doing stand-up and accounting, and my brother is like, he does it full-time. He's a full-time card dealer. Oh, shit. So we did a podcast for like a year. Fuck. Yeah.

Huh. Oh, that's interesting interesting what's your best card i have a bunch of yannis game used patches um that are graded have you sold any of them when you're like i sold that money my big yeah my biggest flip was a herbert i had a justin herbert psa 10 like optic whatever auto i bought it for like a grand i flipped it for like three grand before i came to New York. Whoa. What's your like most iconic card? Not necessarily a star player. I have a George Bush Game Muse bat card that I love.

Whoa. It has Reagan on it too. Dang. Baseball bat? Yeah. What is Game Muse? It's not actually Game Muse. Yeah.

Yeah. That's cool. Now I just collect. It's used in like Gitmo. Yeah. Well, it's? It's not actually game use. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Now I just collect. It's used in like Gitmo. Yeah. Well, it's like a big money hobby, so now I just collect like weird stuff. That's awesome. Anything I find.

Tice, do you have one famous encounter? I have a handful, but the one. You went to Jimmy Kimmel's house. Oh, that's right. You went to Jimmy Kimmel's house to watch NFL? We watched the Lakers. Does it count as an encounter if you got invited over? No. All right. I'm to Jimmy Kimmel's house to watch NFL? We watched the Lakers. Does it count as an encounter if you got invited over?

No. All right. I'm sorry. No, I'm just sorry. My life's too interesting, Nick. You've been in Jimmy Kimmel's house? I'll try to. Oh, yeah. Did you shit in Jimmy Kimmel's house?

In the atrium? I did, yeah. You shit in Jimmy Kimmel's house? What? Hell yes. He's told us this story and we've asked. Yeah, we didn't talk about the shit. I bet you he was

super cool with it yeah he would've thought it was funny I'm sure my random story that's like absolutely boring and is a perfect

celebrity encounter is I pissed next to Patrick Ewing in Charlotte at a hotel and the only thing I remember I remember like

not looking because I was like so consumed with like do not don't look don't look don't look don't look don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look,

don't look. And I never did hand to God. And then I remember he, uh, washed his hands as he was leaving. He cracked open the door, uh, with the paper towel,

threw it at the trash can, was not even close, laying it on the ground and then never went back and picked it up. That's, that's all I remember. Patrick, you missed a trash shot. Yeah.

He missed it. He missed badly. And I remember thinking that you didn't take one glimpse. Yeah. Not a single glimpse. Didn't Yeah, he missed badly. And I remember thinking that was funny. He didn't take one glimpse. Not a single glimpse. Didn't take a glimpse, no. And I don't know if I regret that. He could be the top ten all time. I think I regret it.

I think I do. There are rumors that he used to have to tape his wiener to his leg. Yeah. What? No, fuck. Wait, he might have been top ten. Yeah, I should have looked. I just didn't.

You had a top ten dick beside you and didn't look. Yeah, but I didn't want to. I'd be tearing those pants down. He was probably weirded out that you didn't look. I felt like it was a trap, like a setup. It was like, as soon as I looked, I'm going to. What a great rumor to have. It wouldn't protrude from the shorts.

That has to be fake. Wait a minute. Can we just start that rumor? I heard KB had to do that. Yeah, KB does have to do that. And there's a rumor. Yep. And is the mammoth?

Patrick Ewing's penis has an interesting history. An interesting history. Concerning. Wait, it actually came out of his shorts from the bottom side when he dunked. The vocab in this article. Gargantuan. Wait, everyone on the bottom side when he dunked. The vocab in this article. Gargantuan. Wait, everyone on the field looked dumbfounded? Okay. This might be AI generated.

Can you zoom in a little bit? Which is a thing now. Sports Illustrated. Yeah, that's insane. Gargantuan. What? 40 centimeters. How many inches? 40 centimeters. What's somebody do? The circumference of a cup of coffee? That doesn't even make sense.

He's not even like a standard... Whoa, whoa. Holy fuck. No, he didn't. How tall was Vern Troyer? He's shorter than that. He's shorter than that. Is his dick bigger than Vern Troyer?

No. What the fuck? I never knew this. Wait a minute. That's just not true. Can't be. Is that so big you can dock it in your ass and leave it there? That's a good question, Mook.

I don't know. Plug it in? You can just wrap it around. Tuck it in there for a little, yeah, keep it warm. Yeah, just keep it in place. could just wrap it around. Tuck it in there for a little, yeah, keep it warm. Yeah, just keep it in place. Keep the head warm. Like you're charging it. I don't think you could fuck with that.

No, you'd kill someone. Yeah. That's just not even close to true. You have to stand so far away from them to fuck. Yeah, you can't grab titty. No. You can't grab titty and fuck Well, he also has very long arms shit. He's seven foot one. Damn. It's he can't grab it. They'd have to be big titties

Yeah, they would have that's facts. That's facts But I mean, who could he fuck? Patrick Ewing has never my wife I mean I don't know how Shaq fucks his wife She's like 4'12 or 4'11 I think he dated Pumpkin from Real Flavor of Love Yes he did And she was a tiny little thing No not Pumpkin

Hoops He dated Hoops Pumpkin's the one who got spit on Yeah by New York Yes, he did. And she was a tiny little thing. Yeah. No, not pumpkin. Tiny little thing. Hoops. Hoops. He did Hoops. Hoops. Pumpkin's the one who got spit on. Yeah, by New York. By New York. Look at all these fucking nicknames.

I loved this shit. Oh, I loved that show. See, this is, someone pointed that out to me last night. They're like, how have you never seen an episode of Survivor? And I was like, because I watched Real Love with- A Real Shot of Love. Challenge. Double Shot of Love.

Real World. Road Rules. The Bret Michaels oneels one yeah like the trashiest yeah it's possible i watched all those yeah damn yeah if we had done a competition where we had to like like woo fuck jeff d low yeah fuck jeff d low i would have been i would have known some gameplay you would have done all right uh uh it's connor griffin here yeah he's here somewhere why sure so we i have a two guests coming in uh for an interview at two i kind of want to ask if one of them wants to try to do the yak challenge i forgot about the yak challenge i don't know what it's try to do the Yak Challenge. I forgot about the Yak Challenge. It's all one's due to do. It would be all time if we could get one of these guys on the Yak Challenge.

Do you know, can you say who it is? Yeah, it's Brandon Marshall and Cam Newton. Whoa. We got Cam Newton on the Yak Challenge? Holy shit. I mean, I'll go set it up right now, just in case. I think you should set it up anyway. I might freak out. We should do one person for the wheel a week

I have like a moment I have a moment to like Because they're coming and they're going to do their podcast first In one of the studios So I have like a brief moment where I can maybe talk One of them into doing it They might not be down How should I lead with it

Talk about Delaney Walker and Will putting up bad times They're going to be like who No Delaney they will Will no up bad times They're going to be like who? No Delaney they will know Will no offense Will I will bring up Will I feel like Cam wouldn't want to get sweaty Cam on the record The opposite of a Ewing

Small penis guy yeah he said that He did say that That's huge for the community That makes me feel good Wait he's massive Yeah Is it just small for his body? Makes me feel good. Wait, he's massive. Yeah. Is it just small for his body?

He says he's got the genetics everywhere except downstairs. Which he definitely has. Proportionally. He probably still has a massive penis. He's just being humble about it. What do you guys think? That would destroy me if I saw it and it was huge. I would be like, oh, fuck. It's levels to this shit.

If that's what sent you into a depression, you saw Cam Newton's dick. It's levels to this small dick shit. What should I do? How should I lead to get them to do this? Like, hey, we have this challenge. I think you walk by the door if it's open, and you're like, ha, ha, ha, that was so much fun.

I think you've got to lie about another NFL player who did it. Yeah. We should have someone doing it and just be like, hey, this is something we're doing. Oh, that's a good call, Steven. So when I get up to go greet them, I'll be like, you want to take a tour and we'll have someone doing it. Yes.

Like, oh, shit, you guys think you could do this? Malasek just being like A demon to Cam Newton Would be an all time clip Is Malasek Is he here Yeah Malasek's here Oh man

I think I think Cam Newton Might be the level of celebrity That Malasek throws I know I I kind of know Brandon Marshall

So Maybe it's him Cam Newton might roll in here Wearing like a wooden shirt Yeah So I don't know If he's gonna be Cam can you do me a quick favor Just throw a bag so maybe it's him that I'm sure. Cam Newton might roll in here wearing like a wooden shirt. Yeah. So I don't know if he's going to be inactive. Cam, can you do me a quick favor? Just throw a bag into that cornhole set and then run over and score a goal.

Just embarrass yourself real quick. He'd be good. He'd be good. Sporkle would be so funny too. Okay. All right. We have 15 minutes before they arrive. What I'm saying is we should spin the wheel for one of us to do it.

Yes. Yes. One of us should do it today. I think we should have a backup person go just to show that we're competing and not putting it on. But that's my thought. Because what window? Oh, man.

What if Cam Newton sucks at the football? Yeah. Oh. Hilarious. I didn't even think about that. Is he still technically a free agent right now? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Remember to set up the chair with the body armors too, hilarious. I didn't even think about that. Is he still technically like a free agent right now? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Remember to set up the chair with the body armors too, Brandon. Oh. Why are you hollering at me? Marshall, Brandon Marshall was a Jet? Yeah. He was a Jet, yes. And a Bronco. Bronco, Bear.

Yeah. Dolphin for a minute? Never made a Pro Bowl. I don't know. What was it he? No, never made the playoffs that's crazy that's crazy of course he's a dolphin for a minute yeah yeah he was i think he went bears dolphins no he might have been bears jets he was fucking good he was so good i don't think they're gonna do this no i don't think they'll yeah i can't i'm trying to just picture it in my mind what if we bring it like i can't even yeah i can't even conceptualize a world where camden's like yeah man yeah so we have two shots we have one shot

right now when they come i also we could maybe have a shot after i interview him and be like maybe we could tape it for tomorrow is Is he doing the whole media car wash? Is he going to hop on anus? I think he's going to, no, I think he's doing Barstool Kush.

Oh, he's doing Kush. I don't know if you got that email. Yeah, fuck. He's for sure doing Barstool Kush.

Man, Cam Newton doing this would be so funny. Maybe get a woman to ask him. Yeah? That just like, he just eases dudes into things. Maybe Mook?

I could do that. Not that. Yeah, that wouldn't go well. No. Wait, yeah, we should. Remember how we had Owen go talk to Portnoy? Yeah. We should have Mook go talk to Cam and just be like, you guys want to play this game?

You guys want to hoop? Yeah. Start. What's up, boys? Welcome to the stool. Yeah, say check it out first Guys, you've got to follow me, check the shit out So check it out That's a great opening line

Check it out You guys want to be legends? It's also a lot of pressure Because if he says he's going to do it And he does it, we're all going to have to root for him Oh yeah, big time If he fucks up, he's going to do it and he does it like we're all going to have to root for him oh yeah big time if he fucks up it's going to be so it's going to yeah it's going to be hard to watch he played in a super bowl yeah he won a national title yeah and a heisman and he played in a super mvp 15 and won that. Whew. He was awesome that year.

That wasn't his rookie year, right? No. Okay. Who were they? They had Greg Olsen and Steve Smith on that team. I don't think Steve Smith was on that team. Was he on the Ravens? Was it Kelvin Benjamin?

I don't think he ever played well. Craziest Cam Newton. Wait, what year was that? The first year. 2015. Oh, that was. Oh, they went to the playoff, the Super Bowl in like early 2000. Yeah, that was Jake Delon.

32-29, the loss of the Patriots. I've always been a big Cam Newton fan. The Cam Newton. Who was he throwing the ball to, Brandon? Jericho Cotter. Oh, you had to have been the biggest Cam Newton guy ever. Never. Big fan.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's find the old tweets. Yep. Wait, yeah. Can we search tweets with Cam Newton and Brandon? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Find the old tweets. Yeah. Wait, yeah. Can we search tweets with Cam Newton and Brandon? Oh, no. I mean, I'd rather not do this.

Oh. He also, the most impressive thing about Cam Newton is he won a national title, and on his roster at Auburn, there was, I think, one guy who played one game. Yeah. Nick Fairley you're talking about. You're talking about the offense. He was a Jet. Offense.

On the offense. On the offense, he had one guy make it to the NFL undrafted. Well, Michael Dyer just ran into injury problems. He was a great running back. He was a freshman on that team. The team was better than him. Can I just compliment Kim? You're right.

You're right. Damn, Brandon has a steep age. Oh, no. He hates him. Can I just compliment Kim? You're right. You're right. Damn, Brandon has a deep hate for the Cowboys. Oh, no. He hates them. He hates Kim. Why? He was ringing the Cowbell, though. Doesn't that make him a Mississippi State?

Isn't that your guy's name? Why? He was. That was a picture of him ringing the Cowbell. He's a Mississippi State guy. He was. Okay. No.

He's coming in? Yeah. I'm a big fan. I don't understand. What? I'm confused as to why. Big fan. Can we search Brandon? Yeah. Let's't understand. I'm confused as to why. Big fan. Can we search Brandon?

Yeah, let's see. No. Everybody made a Super Bowl, but I very much enjoy watching Cam Newton fail. I wish it happened more often. That's a compliment. That's a compliment. I wish it would happen more often. That's a compliment.

Is it? Here's the thing, though. And this never happens, really. This is crazy. That was cool. I just walked by the studio somewhere else I got to be. With a fur. He was dressed coolly.

Dripping fur. I'm not going to. No. He was swagged out. He was swagged out. Swagged out. Caught me off guard. I've been mad at Cam Newton since 2009.

Yo. Hold on. What took the rest of y'all so long? Spider, they're not here, right? Will you let me know when they're pulling up? Yes. Yes. For the challenge that he's going to do.

That they'll definitely do. Definitely do. Yeah. This would be huge. This would be huge for the Yak boys. Just seeing... Come on. We're high below. This would be huge. This would be huge for the Yak boys. Just seeing... Come on.

We're high below. Being on the list with those boys would be sick. It would be special. Right. He'd forever be on the list. Yeah. You'd be like, what? Oh, yeah.

He's probably not going to do it, right? No chance. Come on, Cam. Peep the court. He's also going to be dressed really nicely. Yeah. He's not going to go... In the one in a million shot, he does do it.

He's not going to go hard. It would be great if he just started it and quit because then we could have Cam Newton DNF. Yeah, DNF. Look great on the list. DNF. Good optics. Maybe you bait him into that.

You're just like, Cam, can you make the – Just throw one of them. Yeah, he doesn't even need to. He throws one to start. DNF. Oh, we don't have a football. What level of guests do we have to have to hide Nicky Smokes away? Sidney Sweeney?

Yeah. No, I think Cam Newton. Nicky Smokes, I could feel like Nicky Smokes would weirdly just quickly become best friends with them. No? Football players are in his wheelhouse. I think it is women. Yeah, any woman. Just a woman. We we should actually you know

what this is night we should do this for all i gotta figure out how to do it but for future guests what we should do is we should like if we have big guests coming to the office we should like rent a uh escalator something and put cameras in it and be like we'll we'll cover travel and have nicky smokes drive yep and that's like the pre-interview i like that just nicky smokes getting to know the go pro in the car yeah that would be that's a good idea that'd be a good show yeah fuck that yeah like a sack cab yeah just him getting fucking obliterated driving people around is my house like here well what if nicky smokes did cash cab and if you won you just get a sack Yeah. Just him getting fucking obliterated, driving people around. Is Malasek here? Well, what if Nicky Smokes did cash cab and if he won, you just get a sack?

You get a sack. You get a sack. Yeah. I don't know where Malasek is. Hopefully he's here. I don't know what else he'd have to do besides be our goalie. No, producers got the bonus and stop coming in. Stop coming in.

Wee. Malasek is just all-time goalie he's a fucking good goalie you know who's not a good goalie brandon walker wow coach i'm sorry coach you know that you know you know that a lot of the reason i wasn't a good goalie is because my team wasn't putting any pressure on the other goalie y'all weren't kicking worth of shit against titus i scored on titus yeah mook scored you. I ripped a tailor in front of his face. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, we did have some weak kicks mixed in there.

You guys all clowned me when I took Malasek 1-1 in the draft. Yeah, that's – And then – He's a fringe Olympian. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. I met his dad, and his dad is the one who has

Czech heritage he's like thank you so much for what you did that was my fate no jokes god damn it you're just getting me further

in this hole you're going to have to go to a game I need to get Czechoslovakia should give me a passport as like a dual citizen yeah

I mean that was so pathetic never saw it how'd you never see it my body doesn't react like it used to should give me a passport. As like a dual citizen? Yeah. I mean, that was so pathetic. Never saw it. How'd you never see it? My body doesn't react like it used to. Look at Titus. I was wearing malice gloves. That wasn't great.

No, it wasn't. I was wearing malice gloves. Yeah, I took the gloves off after that because I was like, you don't deserve them. We don't have to really watch this. See, I stopped that one. Yeah, you did. Did you?

I did. You just smoke it over the... Well, that's what happened there. We smoked a few over there. Yeah, you guys did let Brandon... I told all my guys, as long as you kick it below his waist, he's not going to be able to get it. I was not going to get it.

The quick feet right before, too, like you're trying to do something. Bro thinks he's doing something. That's fucked up, Titus. Yeah, I was trying to distract him. That was one of my strategies was just I don't want to actually make the saves. I want to make the other guy fuck up. You want to make a fool? Yeah.

Yeah, you were playing mind game. I was trying to do mind game. It's fine. Why are we watching this? I want to tease some people. Oh, did the captain score on you? Yeah. games. I was trying to do a mind game. It's fine. Why are we watching this? I want to tease some people. Oh, did the captain score on you? Yeah. Oh.

That was a dribble. The captain. He barely kicked that. The captain went bottom left on your ass. Oh, man, Brandon. Oh, my God. We do have to play that blindfold game. Bad.

I want to play that bad. Maybe we do that Friday. Goal ball? What's that? Oh, do we have fellow Friday coming up? Oh, we God. We do have to play that blindfold game. Bad. I want to play that bad. Maybe we'll do that Friday. Goal ball? What's that? Oh, do we have Fella Friday coming up? Oh, we do. Probably. This week?

I don't know. We need to figure it out. The Yak fans have been sending a great. Good fella. Really? Yeah, I got some good ones. I found a good fella. Some shocking guys.

I don't have any right now. I'm dry. It's easy to re-up. You think so? Just put out a call. Yeah. Send me some fellas. There it is.

You're about to get flooded with degenerates. Love it. Want more of them. Nick, you want to do the High Noon? Yes. Boys and girls, it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the High Noon Game Day Pack is back. It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit.

It's made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Not much time left. Not much time left. Not much time left to get these. But you can visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. What's the coldest game you've ever tailgated? I know what you did.

The Winter Classic. I did do a Winter Classic. You did a Winter Classic? Flyers at Pittsburgh It was in Hinesfield And it was fucking freezing cold All the fellas were just in the bathroom It rocked

Once you get below 30 It's all kind of blends This was brutal It's all about the wind at that point My first experience with Philly fans There were Philly fans in front of me Got thrown out five minutes in Oh love it

Fought each other Yeah Philly fans were so nice to me when I went But that was also because the Bears sucked Philly's pens is heated Oh yeah Flyers I've been to Eagles tailgates where I'm like,

we're just assholes. Just like guys with families walking by, people throwing beer at them. People were getting upset about the little kid who gave the finger to the building. That's funny. I was so funny. That's so funny. That's harmless. And the person that got flipped off took that really well. Yeah.

That's funny. But when you're doing stuff to a family like throwing beer at a family or you know saying fuck you to a 12 year old that's when it's also kind of funny it's still funny yeah the funniest was uh jake uh went to jake marsh went to a dolphins jets game with billy it was right after two got concussed, and he came back horrified. He said Jets fans were doing the Tua fingers to him. Oh, shit. Yeah.

That's funny. Tua fingers is great. What is that? What is that again? Remember when he got concussed? Yeah, that's funny. So Jets fans were mocking Jake with Tua fingers. That's fucked.

Yeah. That's awesome. Traumatized by that. Good fan shit talk. Tua fingers. That's awesome. Traumatized by that. Good fan shit talk. Two of fingers. Two of fingers. He was violently concussed. That's what Nicky Spokes does to girls.

Two of fingers. Do you have that Fleming clip, TJ? You should watch Frank. It was very well done by Liam. It's Cyber Monday. This is Stool Scenes team right here I'm Liam this is Tom this is Art for Stool Scenes a big part of our job is knowing everybody in the office and what they have going on so we decided we should grab somebody at random from the content area and see if

they know the names of the people behind the scenes. Frank, you get to film this video now? Yes, I am. All right. I'm very bad with names. All right, Frank. So for stool scenes, a big part of us, we have to know everybody's names, as you know. So I'm just gonna show you some behind the scenes people. I'll show you a picture.

Yeah. If you know their name, tell me. There's people whose names I transpose. I'm very bad with names. Okay. And if you don't, just give me a guess of what you think they'll be. Alright. Alright. Start off. Dukes.

Oh that's Evan. I don't know his name. Any guess? Pat? Yeah. Pat. Justin? William? Sam? I forgot his name. Jack?

That's a good guess. I have never seen her here once. Megan? Okay. Megan. Glenn? I am better. I know.

Wait, what is Mr. Beast's name? Jimmy. Jimmy. He's a Star Wars fan. Is it real? That's all we need for right now. You know his name? Yeah, what's my. Beast's name? Jimmy. Is it real? That's all we need to know. You know his name? Yeah, what's my name, by the way? Oh!

What, Frank's a name guy? We expect names from Frank the Tank? He's a feel guy. When somebody is that talented, you don't waste the time with useless... Like, I don't even know this dude's name. Like, we work with this guy, but who even knows who he is? If you do want to help these behind the scenes, nobody.

Oh, man. If I had to do the entire second floor in New York, I would. They were repopulating. Yeah. Fast. Shout out Jenks and Mikey Betts. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was a heartwarming blog from Jenks. Yeah, they did it. Well-deserved. Yeah. They did it. Mikey Betts got in, too? Yeah.

Yeah, Mikey Betts. Mikey Betts. Congrats. The whole crew's in. Yeah. Frank's got his gang. He's got his crew. He's a kingmaker.

He's got his gang at the door. Yeah, he is. Yeah, Jenks. We all knew it would lead to this, but still, credit to Jenks. He never gave up. Yeah. What is his title? Frank's Crew.

Yeah. Frank's Crew. What is anyone's title? Whoa. Wow. I don't know. I have to fill out forms. I don't know.

I never know what to put. Yeah, I put blogger or podcaster. You still put blogger. Yeah, I don't know. What else would I put? I Yeah, I put blogger or podcaster. You still put blogger. Yeah, I don't know. What else would I put? I saw mine the other day. It officially said content personality. Oh, okay.

That's worse. Is that an internal thing? Are you saying like- That was on my ADP or AD- Really? Whatever it is. Interesting. Like if you're like trying to get a mortgage or something.

I think that's what you would have to- Titles are so stupid. Yeah, they're dumb. I sound like every guy with a chick yeah but i never understood like why would you want a new title just get paid more yeah like the title i feel like that's what a lot of companies do is they give titles instead of the pay i think i'd take a pay cut for a cooler title you think so yeah yeah like they make everyone a vice president but then they don't give them any more money yeah if i was officially like the big boss of Barstool Sports, I'd pay $50,000.

But at the same time, if you ever got one of those titles, losing it would be... Oh, that would be devastating. If I had a title and I lost it, it would be the worst. I wouldn't recover. I wouldn't show up to work. I'd go get a bunch of vaccines and eat my wife's pussy that's all there's left to do

vaccine and pussy that would be me if I lost my title I'm here for the vaccine and pussy I'm all out of vaccine it's not all about the title but no no no no it is all about the title for you the Jets are still alive if the Jets win the Super Bowl then I about the title, but... No, no, no, no. It is all about the title for you. The Jets are still alive. If the Jets win the Super Bowl, then I get the title back.

Oh, but... And you have the games right. That's right. That was the offer made. And who knows? I'm a crafty guy. What? Oh, God.

What does that mean? I didn't like that. Big Catch is going to say no. I'm a crafty guy. What does that mean? You are, Steve. He is. I'm on your side. He's like a fox. Or fox.

Fox are sly. I think they're crafty ants. I think weasels are crafty. Raccoons are crafty. Foxes are awesome or crafty. Possums just eat everything. They're not really crafty. You have no craft to you. Everything is very transparent. last night we were talking about playoff teams in the nfl and

he was just like we're saying like how the the there's gonna be some nfc teams like the nfc south team is gonna lose in the first round he's like what about beast quake year like that was a thing just basically trying to get us to believe that the Bucs could win a playoff game you might be the least crafty guy yeah you are I think you're the least crafty guy of our crew keep snoozing on me oh man I'm with it this time

I think he has something up his sleeve what could he possibly have up his sleeve a crumb of deception what? Steve? we'll see stay tuned you're just saying those words yeah you don't have anything Deception. What? Steve? We'll see. Stay tuned. You're just saying those words. Yeah, he doesn't have anything. Yeah, you don't have anything.

It's a blur. Tell me you have something. You have no subtlety, buddy. I'm trying to work on Nathan. I love you to death, Steve. Steve, do you have something or not? I'd die for you, Steve, but you have no subtlety. Yeah, we'll see.

It's not a November 28th thing. I don't even think you have foresight. Steve, come on, man. Come on, give us something. Give us a crumb. Stay tuned. Again, this is not a November 28th thing. A loyal optometrist came and took your foresight. Is it a November

29th thing? No, but it's pretty soon. December 3rd thing? You seem a little crafty. What is this crap? Don't let him cook. Told you, boys. You know what's going to happen, right? What?

He's going to put up his parking sign or something. Yeah. That's going to be it. Just take it down. He is head of parking. That's true. Wait, he's head of parking. And you have a spot.

Yeah, he's head of parking. Are we doing assigned spots? We are still waiting for the passes. We have 25 spots, and we have 29 people that have said they're going to come in regularly. Oh, no. That's not true. Yes, it is. They're not going to come in regularly.

Oh, no. There are four people that put submissions but said that they were going to be part-time. And don't we have the ability to possibly get more spots? Yes, there have been meetings about that. Oh, have you been in the meetings? No. So you're not ahead of parking. Wait, if there's meetings for more spots.

My department has been involved in this. Your department? Did you delegate this? What's the name of your department? If he delegated to us. Don't worry about it. No delegate what's the name of your department he delegated to don't worry about it no what's the name of your department i demand to know what your department is called we're we're having a reorg who's we my department see i told you guys yeah he's crafty oh he's just saying anything he can beat around the bush. Who's in your department? Me and Paige.

So Paige. Paige is ahead of you. I mean, certainly she controls everything in this office, but as far as parking. All right, I'm going to have to talk to Paige. So wait, it's a department of two people? Yeah. So you and Paige are over everything in the office. You're over parking. You're not in the parking.

Maybe she is. Paige is also like, I gave Steve anda parking, and then Paige was like, I'll just do it, and Stephen Shea is doing it. But Paige is the one who does a great job. It's like giving your little brother the unplugged controller. Right. He's head of parking. So are we going to have assigned spaces or not, Shea?

We have to see once we get the parking passes exactly how many people come in. There's one assigned spot right now. It's Big Cat. I have an assigned spot? That's not assigned. I asked for it, but I didn't know it was assigned. I guess I don't hear early enough. It will be your spot.

Oh, thank you. I'm going to take Brandon's every day. I'd like my spot. Do you park in the same spot every morning? Yeah, we talked about this, Brandon. You have to submit a request. Oh, yes. Yes.

I did. Yes. A written. I will give you a written request. No. I printed it out and gave it to you. No. That is just a permit that everyone filled out.

What are you saying? I have to give a written request? No, I get here at 730 in the morning. Yeah, and I'll let you know where you can park. Okay, I'm not doing this. Oh, no, you are. It's his department. I'm not. I'll just – no.

I'm not doing this stupid shit. It's his department. He answers to Paige. I'll just go to Dr. Paige. Well, I'll tell Paige that you have to have a written request. And I'll tell Paige that you were joking. I'll tell Paige I wasn't. I'll tell Page that you have to have a written request. And I'll tell Page that you were joking. I'll tell Page I wasn't. I'll tell Page you were.

Okay. I'll tell Page I wasn't. Brandon, why don't you just head up. I'm going to text Page right now and say no matter what anyone ever says, I'm never joking. Head up your own department. What department should you be running? I'm going to be over the Department of Parking Lot Space Number 6. So, there we go.

You suddenly won six. No, you kind of got that. That's a good counterplay. Raise your hand if you back into your parking spot. I love to do it. Yeah, I could have guessed that's who it would be. I love to do it. Now, I don't do it in normal circumstances,

but getting here and being the first one in the parking lot, it's just so easy. It's also just awesome getting in your car. There's lines on the backup camera that say, put the lines of the parking spot on these lines and then just go. Yeah, getting in your car and then pulling straight out is tough. You don't like it back there? I think it's harder.

It is. It's harder overall. There were a lot of cars out there. Yeah. It's cool when your boy does it. But you have to back up at some point. It was harder in 1995 when you didn't have a backup camera. Now you have a camera.

Yeah. They have their lines. I've never. Oh, I don't have a. I've never had one of those. Oh, well. I didn't. Yeah.

I don't have a car. It's glaring. That is privileged, dude. A backup camera? You think everyone has that? I think most cars have them. I think that's pretty ubiquitous at this point. Is it? I didn't know that. It's glaring. That is privileged, dude. A backup camera? You think everyone has that? I think that's pretty ubiquitous at this point. Is it?

I didn't know that. I've never had that. I think most cars have. I've never had that. Have you bought a car after 2021? My car feels like an old piece of shit. I had a 2012. Okay. I didn't know that.

Yeah, I wouldn't back up if I didn't have a camera. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Madness. But the camera has lines on it. Yeah. I had no idea. Put the lines on the lines, and you just...

You, like, can't fuck up. Jay, do you back in? I do. Unless it's prohibited by the parking lot. If you'll actually all do me a favor and check your emails from November 9th. I read the email. You do. The title of the email is Chicago

HQ parking mandate. Please read. Right, and I filled out what you asked us to fill out. Guys, wish me luck. Wish me luck. Get him in here. Oh shit, we have to do the wheel for who's gonna play. This can wait.

You think they're not gonna set you up for failure? It's your first day? They are. Yeah. Should we have somebody play? Conlet? I think so.

I don't know if it's going to change Cam's mind either way. There's a negative percent chance that Cam Newton does this. I just think he's going to be too dressed up. He's not going to do it. Yeah. Or he might be dressed down. He's like the coolest guy. Cool guys don't do things.

Cool guys don't do. Nah. He's going to go, nah. He'll laugh at it. They don't huff or puff. They don't sweat. Not in public. Nah.

I'll watch y'all do it. Yeah. He's going to make one of us do it. Is that your Cam Newton impression? That's pretty good. Nah, I'll watch y'all do it. That's all I'll say. All I'll say was, nah, I'll watch y'all do it yeah he's gonna make one of us do it it's pretty good i'll watch y'all do it that's all i said it was not what y'all do it it sounded right i'll watch y'all do it no i'll watch y'all do it yeah yeah it wasn't a lot to that it works

i can already tell i can already tell you're fine he's not You're fine. He's not even going to come in here. That'd be good. Yeah. That'd be ideal. You don't think he'll check out the court? He's got to take a look. I don't know.

But him and Brandon Marshall have a podcast? I didn't know that. I don't know. He had a podcast. I didn't heard about it. It's probably good. They should record in the Anus studio. Yeah, why not?

I'll produce. So what else is going on? We're just waiting on Cam Newton now. You know, standard Tuesday stuff. Waiting to see if Brandon Marshall and Cam Newton come in. When is your Australia trip, Luke? March 7th. Oh, it's not until March.

Oh, yeah. I've got time. We haven't even – you haven't even been thinking about it. Well, I am now because I'm going to Miami for another bachelor party the weekend before. Oh. Or the weekend after. That sucks.

Yeah, it's going to be back-to-back. This cold weather has got me already dreaming of the vacation it's going to be back to back this cold weather has got me already dreaming of the vacation I'm going to take after March Madness and Australia was something that popped up that's why I asked why not, you wouldn't do it

you don't want to watch the Elite 8 on the airplane we could do a Eight on the airplane. Yeah. We could do a podcast on the plane. I could do like a March Madness podcast. People would love that. Yeah. On the plane.

Dude, me and you, breaking down balloons. Yeah. Some in-flight entertainment for the folks. Yeah. You could do several podcasts. Podcasts. Podcasts. Podcasts. Podcasts.

Podcasts. Yeah. Podcasts. You could bank like a. Podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. You get banked like a week's worth. 33 hours each way. Are you a vacation guy, Brandon? Not really. I mean, domestic, I've never been out of the country.

So I'm not really a world traveler. My wife is, but I'm not. What would be your ideal vacation? I've always wanted to go to Australia. Wow. You don't have a passport, really? I don't have a passport. Have you ever had a passport?

No, never had one. What about America? Are you into national parks? I'd rather go to Hawaii than a national park. I wouldn't mind seeing Yellowstone and all that stuff, but I'm not really an outdoorsy type in that sense. I like to fish and hunt, but I don't like to be outside at night. I don't like to camp.

But you don't like being outside during the day. Correct. Between 5.30 and 6.15 p.m. I think is ideal to be outside. Okay. But wait, that's dinner time. So I can't go outside then. But then there's another 5.30 to 6.15. But wait, that's dinner time. So I can't go outside then. But then there's another 5.30 to 6.15 in the morning, which is usually just about perfect to be outside. Okay.

Just about right. I'm still asleep at that point. Right, right, right. But it would be ideal. What are you hunting? Huh? What's your ideal hunt? So I don't really hunt as much.

What does that mean? I do birds. I don't do big animals. I didn't know you did birds. I don't really hunt as much uh i just like to what does that mean i do birds i don't do big animals i didn't know you did birds i don't do birds i don't know what i don't like i don't like you're lying pictures birds yeah lying on puss he's lying on i don't i don't like to hunt i'm i don't like to kill animals so we fish be outside really is what i'm saying hunting i mean wearing the gear and i mostly like to just ride the trails of the hunt take a walk no ride the trails ride what are you riding the four-wheeler oh yeah no i don't see you're afraid of four-wheeler no i'm good on those okay but i have one of those i'm good on those i'm not afraid of fours iers. No, I'm good on those. I have one of those. I'm good on those. I'm not afraid of fours. I'm afraid of fours.

You should be. A lot of deaths. Oh, they'll kill you in a heartbeat. I won't let my kids drive them because they'll kill you in a heartbeat. I'm going to get a dirt bike. That's also dangerous. Less. Tommy's had to have asked about a dirt bike.

Many times. Many times. Do you have good property for it right now? Not really now, no. But I do back home. Oh, okay. But I'm not back home. I live here now. I don't live home. Back home. Nick, you see Cam Newton or no?

Yeah, I let him in. How's he looking? Dece. What's his attire? Bolo tie. Big hat, three feathers. Velvet jacket, big shoulder pads. So you didn't see him? No.

But I could be right. You're, yeah. I'd take that bet. What else we got going on? Do you guys like to hunt? No. I can't kill anything. I want to.

You want to be able to. I would love to love to hunt yes but you can't really do it just don't have like the means guns don't have the guns it would have to be like for me it would have to be like an older dying maybe animal on the vert getting near death so i'm gonna euthanize yeah almost a help to the animal or a help to the animal at least old not a It couldn't be a young mammal. Well, you can't really tell the age from like 100 yards away. The animal would have to look you in the eyes and say, please put me out of my misery. Seriously.

In plain English. What if the animal committed a crime? And then sign a release form. I'm not morally against it. What if it was a really bad animal? What animals are bad? Then I would love to. No animals are inherently bad.

A Nazi. Travis the chimpanzee. What about Travis? Who's that? I'd let him be fine. He ripped some face off. Yeah, I would kill him. Slaughter him.

Would you butcher him? I would butcher him up. Would you kill him with a spear? I would, yeah. I would mince him I would butcher him up would you kill him with a spear I think I would yeah I would mince him dice him up you would dice him up if you're killing a human yes you would dice I would feel no shame he didn't kill the woman he just took her face off yeah that's worse that is worse yeah I'd rather that's so much worse wait was that in Chicago no it was up in Connecticut it was in Connecticut and he was fucking the woman too allegedly. Allegedly. What? No, not that woman.

He was fucking a different woman, wasn't he? What? No, I thought they were in a relationship with the woman. Oh, never mind, then. No, I thought he was... Yeah, the woman's fucked. Well, he still ripped her face off. No, I thought he was...

She was raping him. Allegedly, yeah. No, I think he was with the woman. Oh, wait, that's a wrinkle. He was with a woman. Another woman came up and... Wait, was he like... We're talking about a chimpanzee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah wrinkle. He was with a woman. Another woman came up. Wait, was he like... We're talking about a chimpanzee?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're right. I think you're right. It was a woman visiting the woman. It was a woman who owned Travis, or had Travis, and it was alleged that they were sleeping with each other, and then a woman came over and got a face rape. Can we see him? Yeah.

Was he hot? Yeah, this chimp had a hammer. Did he dress cool? I didn't know. How did that rumor... That's something you gotta know for sure. He started that rumor. I did it because I was fucking somebody.

She was trying to fuck. I couldn't stand the look of her face anymore. If you try to fuck me one more time, I'm going to rip your face off. Bitch. He's a looker. He's a looker. I would. Good set of chompers. Look at those titties. I mean, he was

always bound to take somebody's face off. Can we zoom in? He looks like a dude. What are we zooming in on? It's all right there. I can't really... He's brazen is that the only picture of him that's him fucks is this pre or post face rip if he's smiling like that he deserves to be diced they killed him immediately on the face rip i think no how what is there i think a cop came over and killed him. Oh, shit. No. I think so.

Yeah, and then he did an interview with Eddie and Marty Mush. Oh, yeah, he did. But they were dressed as zookeepers, weren't they? Well, that's Eddie and Marty Mush. They just do that. Wait, didn't this woman go on like Oprah after this? The woman without the face? Yeah. She's still alive. Hopefully just like the podcast

Oprah does. No, I think she was on stage. Wait, can we see Does he have a Wikipedia? Oh. Maybe they were. That's a couple. That's a couple.

I'm like kind of for it. I need Jack back to green lines. I think they were kind of the couple. That's a couple right there. Oh, my God. He's kind of steezy. It's kind of wholesome.

Yeah. Does he have a Wikipedia, TJ? I've seen. Just the one named Travis Travis Mononymous Travis Travis Where's he from?

Missouri Socialization Early life I didn't know how to get it 13 Need that personal life From gunshot wounds They got a good one

Oh wait Did he kill the woman? Oh, they got a good one. Oh, wait. Did he kill the woman? In a separate incident? Oh, no. I feel bad for laughing. No. I'm fond that I could open doors using keys, dress himself, water plants, feed hay to his owner's horses, eat at the table with the rest of the family,

and drink wine from stemmed glass. That's a human. He was so fond of ice cream that he learned the schedules of passing ice cream trucks. That's crazy. Wait, he watched baseball and has driven a car on several occasions. Oh, incidents. Yeah, I can think of one. What was the second?

Sandra Sledge. There was one second? Sandra slept and bathed with Travis. I'm like hollow now. He slept with me every night. Until you've eaten with a chimp and bathed with a chimp, you don't know a chimp. That's a cold-ass quote. Yeah. God damn.

You had a good life. Until you bathed with a chin. That's unbelievable. What's the second incident, CJ? 2009 attack. Holy shit Attacked Inflicting devastating injuries to her face and limbs Travis left the house

It was a tickle me Elmo He flew into a rage And attacked her Can't take another man's Elmo No Connor He flew into a rage and attacked her. Mm-hmm. Can't take another man's Elmo. Mm-mm. No. Connor, what's it looking like?

Yeah. The situation. He wanted you to clear it up, and then he was the most vague thing possible coming back to you. Oh, the situation. What do you mean? Oh. Yeah. Does situation. What do you mean? Oh. Yeah.

Does someone want to do it? Well, we've got to wait until we're showing it to them, right? I guess. Mook, you're the worst one, right? No, me. No. Oh, I forgot. KB's in the fives. The fives.

I'm sore as fuck from yesterday. You were playing? So was Brandon, even though he only did activities for like 30 seconds. That's not true. I stood for like two hours. We offered you chairs. You brought me a chair so I could throw it. Okay.

They're all just waiting at the front door, but when I went over there, they were interviewing Mincy for like stool scenes or something for Viva TV. Who was they? It was like... Cam Newton? No, no, no. Was Mincy down at the door waiting for him? He shouldn't be the first one.

It's Big Cat and PFT. And I heard them talking, and I figured that they would be talking to Cam Newton or Brandon Marshall. And it was just Mincy, them talking for Viva TV with Fasoli there filming. That's all it was. Okay. Mincy will be the first person that they see when they walk in. All right, so we're not going to get the chance to meet them today. No.

Mincy. Mincy had a hell of a performance yesterday. Oh, yeah. Mid-court interviews. I assume y'all were doing that. Y'all were pulling all those strings. We just needed the tech team needed him in the middle.

In the circle. He was cutting out when he was outside the circle. The audio wasn't working. That's where the Wi-Fi goes. He refused to stay in the circle. He just couldn't do it. I guess we should have been more descriptive. Maybe next time.

I mean, if you think about it, Earth is kind of... That's exactly what I said. Yeah. As long as he stayed on Earth, he's in the circle. I don't know if he did. You're a flat earther? Well, no. I said circle.

It's round. Spherical. It's a sphere. A sphere is not a circle. A sphere and circle is the same thing. A sphere is just a fat circle. No. No. That's right. It's a pregnant circle. If you think the Earth is a circle, A sphere and circle is the same thing. A sphere is just a fat circle. No. No.

That's right. It's a pregnant circle. If you think the Earth is a circle, you're a flat earther. No, a sphere is a... Kyle versus Brandon, back and forth, name circle things until one person doesn't. Okay. Three, two, one, starting with Kyle. Pie.

Okay. Pie. Pluto. Pizza. Jupiter. Those are spheres again. Go circle. There's a difference between a circle and a sphere. Okay, you're right. Go, go, go, go, go. Okay. Pie. Pluto. Pizza. Jupiter. Those are spheres again. Go circle. There's a difference between a circle and a sphere.

Okay, you're right. Go, go, go, go, go. Fine. Go. Me? Hula hoop. I give up. All right.

It's hard. Big win for Brandon. Pog. I was going to say pog. Oh, pog. Not like a fat. No, no, no. What other pog?

Like a slammer. What's a slammer? A pog. It's a 90s fad, not even toy. A pog slammer does sound like slammer. Yeah, a pog slammer didn't clear anything up. Is Zal licking his lips behind me? It's a slammer.

Patrick Ewing and a pog slam. He's licking his lips behind me, isn't he? Thursday, Nick. Oh, yeah. We have some tickets left. Already? Yeah. Is that show already?

Yeah, it's the 30th, Thursday. I'm hosting. We got Donnie up there telling tales. Mook, B Bader Any other comics Couple Chicago guys Very cool Yeah Uh

But yeah Tickets This is where we say Tickets are moving fast So get them now Okay Where do you get them Uh

Laugh Factory website Um In me and Nick's Instagram stories as well Link is there Yeah And uh This will be the first event

That we do That's a non-barstool thing where we have that new batch of coins out. We do. Ah, yes. I think they'll get there by then. Yeah. Did we decide what? They've already landed in a couple people's boxes.

People have them. Yeah. Did we decide what that, is that a kiss? Is that a- It's our most passionate kiss yet. Yeah. All right. Two hands on each cheek.

And you said you were doing a meet and greet afterwards, right? Nope. I would. I don't care. Yeah, so how does this work? How does the coin work? Meet and greet are like the same thing. You could just call it one or the other. Oh, I thought it was meet with M-E-A-T. M-E-A-T. Yeah. I was more interested.

That would be a meet and great if you added an A to that. Aren't words weird? I know. A meet and greet's just like hand A to that. Aren't words weird? I know. A meet and greet's just like handshaking dicks. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, it would be. Yeah. What do we have?

Who is that person? Please don't tell me. That's Vasoli. Oh, yeah, that's Vasoli. That's Vasoli. That's Big Cat. All right. And I see a brim. A brim.

We're on brim watch. Okay. No. Oh, look, Blackhawks. Oh, look, Blackhawks. Yeah, you love Blackhawks. Yeah. He does. What's he doing?

What's he doing? Is he trying to? Oh, he does. Oh, my God. He's wearing that. There's his Europe precision. He is wearing a bolo. Oh, he's wearing a bolo.

Wait. We need him on here. Wait, was I right? Is he wearing a feather? Yeah. The game. Let's go. Wait, does he right? Is he wearing a feather? Let's go! Wait, does he have Ebola? He's got something around his neck.

What is that? Wait, I need to zoom in on Mitz. What is Mitz doing? What is he doing? Looks like his guy's in the... Look at Mitz right there. He's looking up. What's he staring at?

He's so high up. What's he staring at? What is he staring at? He's so high up. Is that a kerchief? Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know. Where did he go? Where did Minsko go?

We got to play it cool now. So, yeah, that's probably the coolest way to jerk off. Right, Kyle? Hey, Cam. What's going on? What's up? What up, dude? Yeah.

Come on. Have a seat. Anywhere you want. We're looking at ourselves, actually. We're just looking at ourselves, yeah. Not too bad. Not too bad. Look at that.

Hey. What's going on, boys? Right there. Your host. You heard about him? Oh, him. You like this? Oh, my God.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Give it up. I'll give it to you. There we go. No, no. We're going to show you where you're at, but you can Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Kyle, give it up. I'll give it to you. There we go. No, no, we're going to show you where you're at, but you can sit for a minute. Yeah.

Welcome, guys. Move your mic in a little bit. You're going home different. They just walked in. We do have – so he's an all-time hater of yours. He's a Mississippi State fan. That's true. Mississippi State.

First of all, no, no, no, all no no no no no no yes it is true don't hide now no i'm not hiding right beside you i'm definitely looking you in the eyes no not me it's cam huh i'm just staring in the distance man don't even worry about me hold on hold on listen i love this um give me three reasons why you would hate or not like Cam Newton. All right, narrow them down. Oh, here we go. Be honest, too. Come on. Hold on.

Please. Hold on. Hold on. Time out. Act like he's not even here. No, I'm trying to look at him. I'm trying to look at him. Okay.

Okay. Seriously. I'm a Mississippi State fan. Yes, sir. You were in the stands ringing a cowbell. Yes, sir. And I got excited because you're going to lead us to a championship. Yes, sir. And then you led somebody else to a championship. Yes, sir. You were in the stands ringing a cowbell. Yes, sir. And I got excited because you're going to lead us to a championship. Yes, sir.

And then you led somebody else to a championship. Yes, sir. You broke my heart. Okay. And I'm an emotional bastard. I never got over it. You sound like a lot of chicks at the bar. Yep.

And he does. I didn't deny any of that. That's cool. I'm just saying. That's one. That's one. That's one. That's a good one.

That's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. You left me. You heard him. You heard him. Yeah. And it was a good cowbell, that's a good one yeah you left me i heard him you heard him yeah and it was a good cowbell too bought you a couple drinks and then at the end of the night he was

like cam i can't i wanted to and then i was like no but i was willing to give it to you yeah and you didn't take it that ain't my fault okay that's one that give me give me the second and i'm gonna go no no it's pretty much all that. I never really – once you won the championship at Auburn, I had kind of gotten over it. And then you went to Carolina. I don't hate Carolina. So there was never any secondary reason. It was always that one primary reason.

Okay, not like – we're being honest, right? Right. For the people who cared to know or didn't want to know, I'm going to tell you Mississippi State, Stark Vegas, was my best college visit. Oh, wow. This might actually work. This might be helpful.

Way worse. What they say now, it's no glazing. It's no buttering up. No meat rice. This is truth, right? I felt the love in Stark Vegas. That's nice. And the reason why I chose Auburn over Mississippi State,

contrary to what people may think of a little insufficient funds, but that was a layup. Auburn had 22 seniors returning. Well, I mean. And Mississippi State, hold on. Mississippi State is still Mississippi State. Well, Auburn was just Auburn before you got there. But when you add in 22 meaningful seniors,

not just we're talking about half of the offensive line, we're talking about skilled players, we're talking about returning half of the defense. At that particular point in my career, it wasn't just a popularity contest. It was a business decision that I had to make. Well, who else made it to the NFL off of that team, like that class? Auburn? Yeah, no, Auburn.

We had more NFL guys than they did. Yeah. I think Lee Zimba, Josh Bonds, and Nick Fairley. Okay. Nick Fairley, yeah. Michael Dyer would have made it if he didn't get hurt later in his career. Hurt, yeah. And Michael Dyer was a byproduct of a person who needed structure.

Yeah. And those seniors gave him structure. Okay. And when we left, that's when everything – he started driving on the barricade. So that was a really good impression of driving on the barricade. It really was. That's how it was. You had me on the barricade.

Yeah. Yeah. But we had dudes, too. Like, if we had a quarterback that year, we would have been really good. Yeah, y'all had Bumpus. You had Bumpus. Chad Bumpus, that's my guy. Yeah, you had –

Fletcher Cox. Fletumpus, that's my guy. Yeah, you had – Fletcher Cox. Fletcher Cox, for sure. Yeah. Oh, and who is this? I shared this story on – who is that? No, it wasn't Slade. Who is this? Oh, it was K.J. Wright.

Yeah, K.J. Wright. Yeah, played in Seattle forever. So K.J. was on that team as well. And another story that people didn't necessarily know, even though it was the best visit that I've been on, I was ridiculed by Boobie's uncle, Dixon. Anthony Dixon's uncle? Anthony Dixon's uncle said, fuck Cam Newton.

We don't need Cam Newton. I don't believe that. Anthony Dixon's a good guy. It wasn't him. It was his uncle. Well, fuck his uncle then, fuck Cam Newton. We don't need Cam Newton. I don't believe that. Anthony Dixon's a good guy. It wasn't him. It was his uncle. Well, fuck his uncle then. That's cool. What's the quarterback?

14. Tyler Russell? Was it Russell? No. No, Russell came in after you. Tyson Lee? No, it was a black. Chris Ralph.

Chris Ralph. Chris Ralph. Here we go. No, it's good. You're good. You're good. No, no, no. What happened? It's just paper. It's my go. Yeah, no, it's good. You're good. You're good. No, no, no. Yeah. What happened?

It's just paper. It's my espresso. Yeah, you're fine. So, Brandon, why did you hate him for the Panthers? I didn't. I never. I never. It was all college hate.

You know how college football makes you stupid, right? Keep it going. But on my visit, it was a lot of like, man, fuck Cam Newton. You know, we need Chris Ralph. No, I'm telling you. Do you think I had a lot of you, man, fuck Cam Newton. Nobody said that. Do you think I had a lot of that? Yeah, I don't know. It probably happened. And then it was like, man, we're going to stick with Chris Ruff.

Now, this was a couple of Hennessy shots in, Miller lights in. But as the Bible say, a drunken tongue tells the truth. So I didn't let that derail me from making my decision. It was just, damn. So what you're saying is you liked your visit. Loved it. Anthony Dixon's drunk uncle got on some Hennessy and said some bullshit. And that led to Auburn winning a national championship.

And us going 8-4. Butterfly effect. Basically. And we weren't. And us going 8-4. Butterfly effect. Basically. And we weren't. Chris Ralph wasn't going to start. Oh, Brandon. Come on. Yeah.

All right, so Cam and Brandon, I got you guys set up for a podcast. I know your team wants to get going with your podcast. So we have a challenge that maybe we'll have you do after. It's a physical challenge. Bro, listen, I'm here, man. Look, I'm a person who believes in Carpet DM. So while I'm here at Barstool's headquarters, I want to make sure that my presence is felt and left with an impact.

Do you guys want to play a little ball? Are you guys confident in, like, your sporting ability? Oh, what? Yeah. Okay. No, no, no, we're fine. Have you won a fair pong yet? It feels like a little bit of fair pong we're about to do.

Oh, for sure. For sure. Listen, we've already had two NFL players do the challenge. Who? Will Compton. Okay. Okay. Lamar Bell.

Yeah, the linebacker busting with the boys. Yep. And Delaney Walker. Oh, Delaney. A couple times. Delaney was a wide receiver. Yeah. Yeah, tight end.

Yeah. Down tight end. Yeah. Well, you guys want to do it? Yeah, we'll do it. It's a physical challenge. You guys want to do it? Yeah, we'll do it. Physical challenge. We'll do it. We can wait until after you guys record.

Describe it. Are we playing together or against each other? No, it's solo. I am the record holder for the event. You can show them how it goes. We can have someone go and show you how it goes. So I am the record holder for the event. It's out on that court.

What you do is, and I'll just run it through you real quick, you do a cornhole bag real quick. You have to make a cornhole bag. And then you go over to that soccer net and you have to score a soccer goal. Then you have to hit a wiffle ball home run, which is above this building, this roof right here. Then you have to throw a football, an NFL football,

and knock a bottle down. Then you have to hit two threes. Oh, you're ready. He doesn't know about Sporkle. He doesn't know about Sporkle. He doesn't know about Sporkle. There we go. I will cut the Sporkle. There we go.

Cam, at the end, Cam, you have to sit down. We have a trivia that you have to get ten questions. We'll help you with that. Very easy. Should we have someone run through real quick? No, Brandon's going to show him. Brandon's going to show him. Brandon's going to show him. Oh, shit.

I like that, that he just hopped right up. That was awesome. Yeah, that was. Yo, he complimented your pee. That was incredible. Very nice. I'll clip that for you. Please, please.

And Cam, when you shoot the goals, you can shoot four. If you miss all four, then you can get as close as you want to try to score because he's a jerk about it. Yeah, the goal is a dick. It's the yak challenge. And then, Cam, at the end, once you hit your second three, I cannot believe he's doing that. You've got to sit back down right next to me, okay?

And then we'll walk you through the trivia. It's very easy. Stunning. Need it now. Yeah, oh, yeah. BMAR's going to do it. No persuasion. Stunning. Yeah, you'll do it after trivia. It's very easy. This is stunning. Need it now. Yeah, oh, yeah. BMAR's going to do it. No persuasion. This is stunning.

Yeah, you'll do it after him. Take notes, bro. All right, TJ, tell me when we're ready. I'm ready. Brandon, what's your second best sport, Brandon? My second best sport, I mean, really good in basketball. Yeah, you should be fine. Ping pong. Really? Yeah, oh, yeah. Is there a ping be fine. Ping pong.

Really? Oh, yeah. Is there a ping pong table? How do we know? No, not here. We should have a ping pong table. We should. All right, are we ready, TJ?

Ready. All right, ready, Cam? I'm going to say three, two, one, go. Okay, came out the ovaries ready. All right. Three, two, one, go. Just got to get one in, and then you're on to the next. You got to move.

He's moving slow. He's moving cool. He's moving cool. There you go. Go, go, go. Soccer. Oh, here we go. Oh, Malasek.

Take Malasek. Brandon, get out of the way, Brandon. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Home run.

Home run. Home run. Home run. Oh, my goodness. It's so good. Oh. Oh. It's laser.

This is incredible. Oh, no. Soft swing. Soft swing. Oh, that was cool. That was good. Oh, no. You counted it. No, it doesn't count. Brandon's. Oh, that was cool. That was good. Oh, no. You counted it.

No, it doesn't count. Brandon's not counting it. Brandon wants to. Yeah, yeah. He got it rough. Why do we have Brandon doing this? He's the record holder. You're still on pace to be a record.

There it is. Go on. That's gone. Yeah. All right, football. Football. You got to hit one of the bottles. This could be embarrassing.

This could be bad, Cam. Nah, he's got it. No. Goodness. Get the ball. Get the ball. Get the ball. Oh, Brandon's. This could be bad, Cam. Nah, he's got it. No! Get the ball! Get the ball! Oh, Brandon's being a dick. Oh, this is confusing. Oh, he couldn't find it. Oh, man. Oh, this is bad. Throw on the run!

He gave up. He gave up. Oh, no. Alright, if he wasn't retired already... There it is! Oh! All right, if he wasn't retired already. There it is. Hit three. Three and three.

Three and three. You got to hit a three and then hit another three. Zoom out, TJ. There it is. Oh, you got a little. Oh. I didn't think he had a shot like that. I see you, Cam.

Oh, no. Nice little Cam. Oh, no. Nice little form. Oh, no. This is the one. Here's the one. Here's the one, man. Oh, no. Come on, man.

Let's go, man. Humbit. Oh, no. Might be a real one. Humbit. There it is. Oh, no. Humbit.

Humbit. Oh, yeah. The hat's off. Oh, no. Come on, Cam. Close your eyes. Come on, Cam. Try hat's off. Oh, no. Come on now. Come on, Kim. Close your eyes. Come on, Kim. Try closing your eyes.

This is real one territory. Something about this child. Oh, no. There's something about it, Kyle. There's something about it. Oh, no. Seriously, try closing your eyes. It works sometimes. Oh, no.

B-Marsh, you're going to kill him. Are you going to beat this? You're going to kill him. For sure. What's the record? Brandon's got 245. No, it's to kill him. Are you going to beat this? You're going to kill him. What's the record? Brandon's got 245. It's like two minutes. There you go.

Other side. Other side. Other side. The only thing I'm nervous about is the cornhole. And the trivia. The trivia is not easy. Oh, you got to do the end of trivia? The trivia is the end of it.

Oh, wow. We'll walk you through the trivia. It's random. I don't think he's putting sweat. The thing is, I was sprinting it. All right, come back in. Sit down, sit down. Trivia, come on, carry me close.

All right, trivia. You have to answer the question. All right, we'll help you out. Oh, you might know this one. Five top porn stars searched on Pornhub. Wait. Oh, wow. Okay, no.

BBW. Oh, here we go. Ten most valuable American sports teams. Patriots. Patriots. Yankees. Oh, do we have

Zottyping? Uh-oh. Cowboys. Yep. Two. Yankees. That's three. Obama's daughters.

Six top as rich. Oh, yeah. Do you know Obama's daughters' names? No. Okay. Six top richest men in America as of April 2023. Elon Musk.

Yeah. Buffett. Yep. Bill Gates. Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos. Here we go. Fourteen.

Three more. Three more. Three more. Think valuable franchises. Tepper. David Tepper. Oh, is Tepper in there? No.

The Walton family. Yeah. Surprising. Go back to sports teams. Yeah, like big cities. Giants, good answer. Good answer. Good answer.

Two more. Do you know any of the Sex and the City cast character names? No, sir. Okay. We go back to porn stars. Phases of the Moon. Phases of the Sex and the City cast character names? No, sir. Okay. We go back to porn stars. Phases of the Moon. Phases of the Moon. Oh, shit.

Phases of the Moon. There's one easy one. The Cowboys. You got the Cowboys there? Yeah, I got the Cowboys. Yeah. Lakers. Oh, Lakers.

These are the questions? Yeah. You got to get all of them? No, you just got to get ten. You got to get ten. Two more. Two more. Franchises. Franchises.

Franchises. I said the Giants, right? You said the Giants. Oh, Jets might be a good answer. No. Think about where we are right now. Oh, Chicago Bears? I think the Bears are up.

Yep. One more. One more. Chicago. Yeah, they shouldn't be. Oh, you mean? San Francisco 49ers? You know. Yeah, they shouldn't be. San Francisco 49ers? You know.

Canada? No. Basketball team. Another basketball team, maybe. Spurs. No, not the Spurs. That was a terrible answer. I feel like Warriors are up there. Yeah! 456.

Hello. That's the best. Yeah, that was bad. That was better than the other one. All right, P. Marsh is going to go, and then you guys get set up. You beat Delaney. You beat Compton. Is that all time for athletes or no?

That's number one for athletes, right? Yeah, you are number one for athletes. What's that? I just played an away game, by the way. athletes or no that's number one for athletes right yeah you are number one for athletes look at that bottom five the realest of the real kyle all right b marsh is up i love it all right yeah yeah brandon where do you think you're going to fall on this list different questions oh not not can we pull the list back up? I mean, I'll probably break the record. Break the record? Bullshit.

But if the big one, you know, Cuomo goes, I could potentially – no, I'm going to break the record. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Break the record. Let's go. I'm going to break the record. I'm going to break the record. I'm going to break the record.

Come on, you know that? I got you. It didn't work with me. Bartholomew let's rock and roll all right tell me when TJ the fact that I never saw nobody do it that was yeah you didn't even know the order you didn't know the strategy you win got it? What do I get when I win, when I break the record? You get to be on the show full time. Yeah, sure. You all ready? We're waiting on you. All right, ready?

Yes. Three, two, one, go. There you go. Oh, yeah. Ballast sack. Ball you go. Oh, yeah. Malasek. Malasek. Oh.

Oh. He's a hater. Good kick, guy. Take your time. Oh. What a shot. Wiffle ball. Wiffle ball.

Use the red bat. Use the red bat. Yeah. Oh, one hand. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. My object is to hit the white ball. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh. Football. That-oh. Object is to hit the white ball. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. That was easy. Bro, he's moving. No. Oh, shit. He's at 32 seconds. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Get you. Try hitting one, guy. Yeah. All right. Shot, shot. Oh, shit.

He's getting cocky. He's getting cocky. That's a good looking jumper. Oh, that's not. Shot, shot. Oh, he's getting cocky. He's getting cocky. That's a good looking jumper. Oh, that's not. Oh, no. Great shot, guy. Oh, wet. Brandon, bring the ball.

Bring the balls, Brandon. Move. There's two Brandons. We're yelling at both Brandons. Oh, yeah. He's got a shot here. He's got a shot. He's got to hit this.

Oh, come on. Come on. Come on. Yes. Get in. It's down. It's got a shot here. He's got a shot. He's got to hit this. Oh, come on. Come on. Come on. Yes. Get in. Get in. It's down. It's down.

They're on pace. There we go. All right. All right. Let's find something that you can get. Nine most recent NBA champs starting from 2010. Nine? Nine most recent NBA champs starting from 2010.

Heat. Heat. The Dallas Mavericks. Yeah. The Bucs. The Lakers. Wait. Catch up. We're the Bucs. The Bucs. The Lakers.

2010 going to 2020. Going back. Going back. Go to the next one. Going back. Going backwards. Seven Dwarves. Think white. Seven Dwarves. Seven Dwarves. Think Lakers. Seven Dwarves. Seven Dwarves. Sleepy and shit. Think 90s basketball.

90s Bulls. There you go. Celtics. Lakers. I said that. Yeah. Yeah, this goes back. Most populated U.S. cities.

Other than NYC and L.A. No shit. Top ten Spotify artists. Drake. Drake? Yup. Taylor Swift. Yup.

Beyonce. Gotta be. Do a little. No, Beyonce not on there. No Beyonce. What are they doing over in Korea or something? Yeah, do a little. Wait, how many does he have total?

Three more. Three more. Cities other than New York and LA. Biggest cities. Biggest cities. Atlanta. You're hot right now. Yeah, do a little. Wait, how many does he have total? Three more. Cities other than New York and L.A. Biggest cities. Biggest cities. Atlanta. You're hot right now. Houston, Dallas.

Houston. Where we are? Scalding hot. Chicago, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Chicago. Chicago. The president's assassinated.

One more. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK.

JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK.

JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK.

JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK.

JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK.

JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JFK. JF, he crushed you. He crushed you. He crushed you, Cam.

He crushed you. Hell, yes. Hell, yes. Let's go. No, you beat me. Yeah, you did. 230. You were 240.

Oh. Oh. Oh. All right, I'll show you guys where you're podcasting. That was fucking awesome. All right, come on. Oh. All right. I'll show you guys where you're podcasting. That was fucking awesome. All right. Come on.

Yeah. Oh. That was amazing. Hey, nice meeting you guys. Thank you. Nice meeting you. Good stuff, guys. Later, man.

Cam. Great to meet you. Great to meet you, man. So what do you guys want to talk about now? I think Cam needs another run. He needs another run. Hey, cool moment for Malasek. Malasek, good shit.

Malasek, you – Wait, did you put on a goalie sweater? You sandbagging. Are you sandbagging? No, he's adding a new soccer uniform thing every day. But you let them score kind of easily. Cam Newton kicked the ball so fast. That shit was crazy. Is that shit on your Instagram story yet?

I am kind of like a schoolgirl. That was so cool. Best case scenario. Everything went well. That was wild. He walks up to Kyle and goes, this is nice. I cannot believe that he just, no hesitation. Just stood up.

He's a cool guy. Not only no hesitation, he interrupted everything. We were explaining it to him. He hesitation. Yeah, just stood up. Cool guy. Not only no hesitation, he like interrupted everything. Like we were explaining it to him. He's like, shut the fuck up. I'm going to do it. Oh my God. Yeah, it's cool. Wow.

Do we just spin the wheel? I don't feel like. Yeah, can't follow that. I don't really keep going. Wet on a, it's wet. Come back. Oh yeah. Yeah, put your hand in this mousetrap. So here's the. Come back. Oh, yeah. We got to put it in the wet wheel.

Yeah, put your hand in this mousetrap. So here's the thing, Cam. You got swept in the final round of the wet wheels, so we're going to go ahead and – That's your thing? We're going to go ahead and – Say less. No hesitation. Say less.

Say less. I was born – Carpe diem. Carpe diem. Carpe diem. Brandon, you have a new enemy now. That dude's on. Holy shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I just broke some significant Mississippi State news. I think you did. It does seem to be that way. It's been 14 years. We've had one. There's got to be a blog written about this interaction that just happened. Somewhere in the Mississippi State blogosphere, someone is writing.

Apparently, Anthony Dixon, who was a great running back for us, all-time leading rusher, his drunk uncle cost us. It was the Henny. It was the Henny. And it was an official visit. It was probably Friday. It was Henny Friday. It was Henny Friday.

Yeah. Wow. Man. Holy shit. Yeah, let's spin the wheel. Yeah. Well, let's talk about Factor first, though. This holiday season, you might be looking for nutritious, convenient meals

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I heard great things yep, there it is that's crazy I drafted him his rookie year in my fantasy league and he was a dog he's a dog. Yeah. He was a huge man.

That was awesome. They bought in, huh? Well, it was also funny because we were walking by, and I didn't tell them to come on the act. They just saw microphones. They're like, is this where we're going? He goes, is he live? Yeah.

Like, yeah. Oh, shit. Go run it back to him. Moot, bring him his espresso. Go bring it back. Don't be awkward about it. Don't be awkward about it. Oh, yeah.

Don't be awkward about it. I. Don't be awkward about it. I definitely won't. Tell him you didn't put anything in it. Yeah, say that. Right behind us. Say that. Nothing in it. That was awesome.

That was best. That was incredible. Yeah, I mean, the act challenge, this is my dream of the act challenge of having. I love it. I never thought we'd get Cam Newton to do it. We need a whiteboard in here. And it's such a perfect challenge.

I know. It's unforgiving. Oh, man. I wanted Brandon Marshall to not do well. Not because I'm a hater, but because there was a trend forming of the coolest dudes were actually at the bottom of the list. That would have been very funny. I think I called Brandon Marshall

a motherfucker. You did. He liked it. Look at that list. I will never stop talking about being higher than Cam Newton on this list. Cam Newton, KB, Delaney Walker. Wait, crop that and make that your Twitter header. Crop that and make that your Twitter header right now. Sandwiched in between the two.

Cam Newton, KB, Delaney Walker. If you showed someone this list and asked them to guess what it was for. What the heck is this? Oh, my God. Oh, my. Cam asked if I spiked it, by the way. Did you say what? I said it's untainted.

Wait, Connor. We're going to have one person do it. We'll spin the wheel and have one person do it. What a moment. What a great, great moment. I'm so stunned that he did that. They were very down for it. They were cool.

Oh, yeah, I'm tight. What if they had gotten wet? And then Cam has to piss his pants. Hank, you see that? Nuts. What? Yeah, KB's got – he's just in the real ones crew. Can we put on a shirt that's KB in the real ones?

Yes. Yes. Lady Will. Cam. Ecstatic. What a crew. Let's have one person go randomly. Oh, yeah.

Get Malasek back down here. I think Taylor's going to be here on Wednesday. Oh, Nicky! Nick. Is it elimination or no? Taylor's going to be here on Wednesday, so he'll do it. See how many NFL players we can get on this thing? Cam Newton, very

fucking... He was moving slow, but it was a cool – Yeah, I knew – I figured he wouldn't huff and puff. Did y'all see how hard he kicked that ball? Yeah. The soccer ball. I guess I didn't notice. It was – I didn't notice either.

He kicked it harder than Brandon Marshall. He kicked the shit out of it. You shake his hand, his big hand. It's – yes. It's an intimidating man. You handled yourself well. I did. That was good work.

I know. I haven't even gone to the bathroom to clean the shit out of my pants yet. I think he was sorry. I think he'd rather have gone to Mississippi State. I feel bad for him. That makes it worse, though, doesn't it? One drunk uncle. Yeah.

Fucking drunkle. Whatever. Isn't that so much worse than if he was like, I was just using you guys for leverage to get more money from Auburn? Well, I mean, he wasn't going to say, y'all wouldn't pay me the money they would pay me, right? Yeah, I don't know. I feel like he, at this point, who cares?

Also, yeah. Also, we definitely would have paid him that money. All right. Clicky's up. Here we go, Clicky definitely would have paid it. All right. Clicky's up. Here we go, Clicky. Let us know when. You want to count down? I'll count you down.

I'm ready. Three, two, one, go. And we also there you go we kind of let Cam Newton get away with not really hitting the ball well that was the moment where we

needed to just kind of oh smart there we go that was it that was it that's it yeah yeah it was

that was it I think it was oh just got to get through this one. Yeah, this one's always tough. This is tough. Yeah. He throws it with the wrong hand.

There it is. Football, football, football, football, football, football. That's all right. Just hit it the first time. He did that last time. Nope. That's a good bounce, though. Bounce

Nope Cam Newton also can't fucking throw a football Not at all Did he actually hit the thing? I think he got an official bottle Everything off Yeah So that

Does that count? No No it doesn't count This is harder than it looks Actually somehow There it is We did let that count for Cam Newton Even though he's the athlete.

But it was, yeah. That's the one thing we shouldn't have let count, was him throwing a football. Oh, Nicky. He almost went through a whole rack of basketball. We gave him a curve on throwing a football. Yeah, I know. We put training wheels on the NFL.

Oh, my God. Good pace. The guy was the NFL MVP throwing footballs. He was the best in the world. Oh, my God. You can win it. You can win it. All right, here we go.

About 30 seconds. Andy Sandberg, Justin Timberlake. Andy Sandberg, Justin Timberlake. Malcolm. Malcolm. Eagles. Cardinals. Wait, wait.

Get in front of it. Malcolm. Mike. Give him a mic. Cardinals, Seahawks, Dewey, D-E-W-E-Y. He's going for it. Falcons. Ten seconds.

Two more. Pepperoni. Sausage. Oh. Oh. The spell is right. Right. Yeah!

Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you get two. No, Zaza figures count. Human error. That's part of the human error. Yeah, that's like an MLB ump that can't call balls and strikes right. You just have to roll with it. Nicky, Nicky. That's going to be hard to beat. That's a tough time. Brandon's got a high give up factor on this one. Can somebody go grab Cam and Brandon?

Got it. What? Was that not a goal? I think, no, he did. Can we get a replay? It doesn't matter. It was close enough where it doesn't matter. I would have scored on the next kick.

I would have scored on the next kick. I heard you saying it was a goal and go. Why did you change your mind? Rico him right now. Charging him. It was a goal. Yeah, that's true. Oh, shit, Kyle.

We have bracket. Yeah. Finish right after this one. Yeah, I can watch this. All right, here we go. Tell me when, TJ. You want to check the goal or no? Oh, this, yeah. All right, here we go. Tell me when, TJ. You want to check the goal or no? Oh, yeah, sorry.

Oh. It's a boot. All on goal. That's a goal. No, it wasn't. I thought it hit the back. I think it touched net. I think it went in.

Do we have a side view? I think it grazed net. Laser. Goal. That's not a goal. I think it's a goal. That's not a goal. Looked like the net moved back, too.

That's goal. Smell sausage, bitch. All right. Let's put an asterisk. Yeah. Okay. That's just what you guys told me. Yeah, that's not Nicksterisk. Yeah. Oh, man. That's just what you guys told me. Yeah, that's not Nick's fault. That's not your fault.

That's not Nick's fault. That's not your fault. If you win a game on a bad call. If the whole crew says go to the next one, that's our fault. Yeah, that counts. The Rams go to the Super Bowl over the Saints. Okay. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. All right, Brandon, you ready? No asterisk. None. Three, two, one, go. Okay. Yeah, exactly exactly. All right Brandon. You ready? No asterisk none three two one go oh He's done over. Oh nice. This is big That was a laser yeah that was in go Here goes mouseicek.

Oh, no. It's over. Woo! Yeah, you can shoot the blue. Oh! Finish? Finish? Take his time. Dainty mode.

No. Shot. Another shot. Oh, if he hits this quick. If our athletic competition, is it broken? What do you mean? I'm in first and Cam Newton's in third. No, I think it's perfect.

We've made a perfect athletic competition. It's the great equalizer. Nick got back here with what, one minute? There we go. Sporkle. Yeah. We've made a perfect athletic competition. It's the great equalizer. I swear. Nick got back here with what? One minute? There we go. Sporkle. Yeah.

Does he give up? Oh, his shoelaces. It's over. Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, it's big, Brandon. Come on. You're at 108. If he hits this.

Oh, thank God. If he hits this. Oh, no. Brandon. Just hit this one, Brandon. You're good. He is good. Just hit this one. You're good. He hits this. Oh, no. Brandon. Just hit this one, Brandon. You're good. He is good. Just hit this one.

You're good. He's good. Oh, no. You just got to make this one. You'll be good. Come on. He practices every morning, too. A paw.

He's Nick Nolte. Oh, my God. Oh, no. He's losing it. This is hard to watch. This is... Oh, no. Oh, no.

Throw it anymore. There we go. All right. He's doing... Well, come on. End with respect. Yeah. End like a man.

Yeah, respect the gauntlet. One thing bro had her do. Penn State. Wait, what is that? Ohio State. Georgia. What's one thing bro had her do? He got a.

Alabama. That's crazy. Huh. What did bro ever do? Kentucky. Is it like flips and shit? Louisville. Tricks on it?

Oh, it might be that. Western Kentucky. Northern Kentucky. Highland Heights. Avon Barsdale. Wow. Stringer Bell. Uh-huh.

What a show. McNulty. Damn. You. You, you. Why? Why? There you go.

354, that's pretty damn good. That's pretty good, buddy. You're getting worse, though. Isn't it that I know bro had her screaming? Oh, has it had her screaming? Justin Jefferson. Oh, yeah, yeah. Screaming.

Yeah. Oh, man. Well, I still have the record because he didn't score a goal. No, he did. He didn't. We counted it. He didn't. If it had been me, what would it have counted?

Brandon, you said it was you said to move on. Brandon, do you want to open this can of worms? Because we're going to have to go back and watch your record-breaking performance. Do it. With a fine tooth cut, any violation, any help on Sporkle. Did anybody help you on Sporkle at all? He didn't score a goal. Did anybody help you on Sporkle at all?

I doubt it. I'd be careful, Brandon. I'd be careful. I'd be careful. I'd be careful. The soccer goal was attached to the ground. That goes in. No, it would have come off harder. It moved backwards.

The goal did move backwards as he hit it. If there was a laser line, it would have come off harder. The goal moved backwards. So it hit and went down, but the goal moved backwards. That's not a goal. Everyone please like the stream this is an awesome episode that's great well it says right there he did it in two minutes two yeah it does but he did he didn't he didn't score a goal it says it right there he didn't finish it uh he did should we do most recent uh performance or should we delete that one of brandon no don't

do that that's not even oh yeah that's i mean it's going to get cluttered with our name no it should be your highest stop okay that's your highest score should be on there oh yeah everyone's highest score should be on there okay no other ones i like that yes we don't have double up well i kind of wait am i above you kind of like where i am well no you're gonna have to maybe sandbag i might have to i guess I haven't done it three times. TJ, there's a chance after we do Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall on PMT if they want to redo it. We might have to tape that for tomorrow.

That would be incredible. Okay. Brandon Marshall might be here all night. He might just be like, I want 50 attempts. Yeah. He's got that dog in him. All right. You guys got to do the bracket.

We'll see you everyone tomorrow. Thank you. Please subscribe. that dog in him. All right. You guys got to do the bracket. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Thank you. Please subscribe. Upload it. Barstool Survivor. Surviving Barstool. Sorry. New episode tonight, 8 p.m. Eastern.

We'll see everyone tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. It's the act. It's the act. Get your straws, yeah. Silicate for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop.

We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. People saying I'm more athletic than Cam Newton are right. All right, see you tomorrow.