The Yak - Caroline Thinks That Men Shouldn't Be Allowed To Eat Soup | The Yak 7-28-22

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Welcome to the act Trying to freshen up your mic so you can smell something good Yeah, we'll just have a little bit of someone else on it You know what I mean? Yeah Mics are disgusting

I did notice that when I went with Roan to pop punk practice the other day You had your mouth all up on that mic. I know, dude. Rightfully so. When you got to spit, you got to get close. I know. It's tough. Sometimes you got to back off.

Sometimes you got to get up on it. But there are inherently gross things. I saw that Elvis movie last night, and I was like, dude, if I was Elvis, I'd be having a new mic every night. You think Elvis is using a mic that just was in and on someone's mouth dude yeah they like would hold it right up on their faces i think everybody does dude i think it's like sometimes we do the show like that today should we all swallow the mics yeah the amount of germs that are just sitting on these things fucking mouth mouth germs yeah who was sitting here

before please you're you're hot mouthing with whoever was sitting there before. Don't say... Big F. Yes, dude. That's an active highway. Big F's mouth. Because he talks a lot.

Yeah. He's just a million words a minute. Is that a new thread? Daddy Kathy. This is a million words a minute is that a new thread daddy kathy this is a this is a yak shirt uh just trying to promo it a little bit yeah shirt too pop this shit pop that shit this is a head turner and people don't understand uh people don't understand it and you don't really ever want to explain it tommy's great i like this shirt a lot like you don't even have to know what Barstool is or the Yak is.

That's a cool shirt. TJ's got one too, bro. We're all repping the brand hard as fuck. Somebody tweeted out that they wore that shirt to a bar and people asked what it was and he was just saying, even if I told you, you wouldn't understand. But it's a good icebreaker.

It's gatekeeping the Yak. You could actually never understand this you had to be there for me i'm not gonna tell anybody oh i'm good to see you we got to see you you hear about yesterday's banger oh yeah people are still the ripples of that show wait why are you guys self-conscious about it why are you guys self-conscious about your abilities to talk i feel like you guys are just both self-judgmental human beings of yourself yeah i'm a real piece of shit i do not like myself yeah that's bullshit you should like yourself though you do great on this show yeah you're great on this program and owen i'm sure you did great as well no one had

a great like lineup people like the airbnbs yeah that was probably the most successful one yeah we were just guessing Airbnbs. Why is that on the forefront of your mind? Are you about to fucking go on a vacay? Um, no. A vacay, perhaps? I was digging through old notes of old ideas. Oh, really?

It's a hodgepodge, yeah. This shit is fun to look at, that and house prices. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For example, Tommy's parents' house price. $630,000. $631,000. It's not bad.'s all right oh that's pretty right on the bell rose floor park yeah exactly i was a little further away from queens it'd probably be a lot

location location location you know what i mean and you don't you don't have that i don't have a great location i have no backyard but no but the house itself though is stately what does that mean i don't know it It sounds nice, though. Yeah. You guys do that? Just look at apartments in other cities? Yes. See what you could get.

It's depressing. Yep. Yes. All the time. It's one of my, it like calms me before Betty buys. Yeah. It just gets me. Yeah.

I could have. I'm always like, I could live like a king in Knoxville. I would fucking crush out there. I could have a man. But you know what really disappoints me is that like sometimes I'll live like a king in knoxville i would fucking crush out there i could have a man but you know what really disappoints me is that like sometimes i'll see like a ton of cities that it's like oh it's more expensive there like what the fuck how is that possible there's nowhere near a beach that's inexpensive it just don't exist dude it just isn't fucking possible rudy and i saw some new ass neighborhoods yesterday driving through new york and uh there are some beautiful houses where some of those were in queens kind of were they

no no no brooklyn we were in brooklyn there were some nice brownstones in um we were kind of near flatbush yeah there were some nice like actual houses and then uh yeah but i'd never been to that that deep in brooklyn so we kind of got through brownsville we were out at canarsie uh at a at a firehouse, dude. It was fucking sweet. Oh, yeah, that's right. You guys went out to... Firehouses are so fucking cool.

Yeah. I was enamored by everything. I was like a little kid asking a million questions. It was cool. Yeah, they were... I mean, it was rad. I was fucked up. Their decorating skills are second to none.

The hangout area where they wait for the calls to come in with like the recliners. And I feel like they're always making a good casserole for some reason, which I love. And like any house, like any restaurant you see like deli, if there's a fire truck parked outside and they're getting lunch, you're like, that's a good deli then. That must be a good one. Frank. Frank. Frank. I left my oven on.

Good to see you, brother. You left your oven on? Yep. Oh, boy. It just came to me. I feel like masculinity is a bell curve. Hopefully when you get home tonight, you still have an apartment. Oh, shit. I feel like masculinity is a bell curve, and a lot of people go way too far and end up like Andrew Tate and those quote-unquote Sigma males, like true apex is fireman yeah yeah i walk home past a firehouse every night and it's like the highlight of my day they're so hot and i'm just like the like not like it's just like these guys are just like they're the peak of life but they're not like classically

hot no they're ruggedly handsome i feel like they're not assholes about it like i feel like every now and then there's a tiktok one just went viral where it's a group of firefighters like doing something here in new york city and the one firefighter was just like stop you in your tracks like oh my god this should be a calendar but this is just you doing your job yeah you're so hot and so everybody crowdsourced and found the guy and he's just like just doing my job just like this is a weird thing when you pass by one it probably fucks so is a weird thing when you pass by one it probably fucks so much yeah oh my god you pass by one for those six seconds and it feels like

you're part of the crew it's like yeah i'm just one of the guys as i walk through like you hear the conversation and i just go back to my apartment yeah my non but they're definitely like talking immense amounts of shit on you because they're world-class ball busters they are world-class ball busters yeah at are world-class ball busters. At all times, it's just about making fun of someone or yourself. 100%. That's all the currency of conversation. Yeah. Exactly. The balls

were busted. They did make us a delicious lunch. We got to break bread with them at the big table. I feel like they've got food. I feel like they are connoisseurs. If you want to know good food in the city, they're either making it or they know where to find it. They kind of live like nuns, where they do everything for each other.

They all cook together. I was like, who made this? And they're like, we all made it. They all said it at once with a hive mind. Controlled by one alien brain. It was fucking sweet. What do they typically do? Put out fires.

I'm talking about the firehouse. I think's like that they had to work like uh 48 hours where they're sleeping at the firehouse where there's any minute they can be called for fire and they're off like three days i think they do have like kind of an on-off schedule or something like that which is kind of sweet and they just have beds like they're or like there are places where they can sleep and shit in there dude i think there's also like hierarchy involved like newer guys. Oh yeah, there was more of those

overnight shifts. The probies. Probies. Wait, Kate, how do you know so much about firefighters? You ever wake up? My ex's dad

was in the FDMI for like 25 years or something like that. And so I spent a little time at the firehouses back in my day. You know, we're talking about firehouses back in my day. You know,

we're talking about firehouses. I feel like someone should be here. Oh, yes. Firehouse subs. Uncle Kevin. Oh, your Uncle Kevin is a firefighter?

Yeah. Really? Retired, retired. Fucking here. And I have seen The King of Staten Island so I basically grew up in a firehouse.

Okay. The way they bust each other's balls, Bill Burr. Burr became my dad for two hours. Yeah. Bill Burr. Burr became my dad for two hours. Yeah. Bill Burr rules

in that movie. Yes, he does. I didn't really care for that movie overall, though, to be honest. I thought it was good. I don't know. It just didn't hit for me.

I liked Big Time. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. I've never seen that. Hello. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

No, we want to have you on the act. We want to, we had a goal to pass. Yeah, that's all we needed. No, we wanted to pass the Bechdel test one time on the Yak, which is. They already let me say. Yes, exactly.

That's what it means. You have a lovely bag. It's not about boys. Really neat. No, you're not talking into the mic you. Really neat. I have a dog one, too. That probably really fucked up the audio. Sorry. No, you're good. Maybe not talking into the mic is fucking it up.

Yeah. Yeah, I definitely agree. I don't have to. Tommy took yours because yours, those ones, the ones that he took sometimes don't work. We're talking about germs. I just sneezed. No, it's okay. Into the mic. Okay, I'll take them.

Thank you, Tommy. Yeah, take them, take them, take them. Yeah, be a gentleman, Tommy. What the fuck? Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, and these are much louder. Way better.

Wow. Yeah, that's good. I hope you don't have any ear damage. Seems we have another pearl wearer. This is an issue. Oh, fuck, dude. Are you guys both wearing pearls? It's hard for me to tell the difference

between me and you sometimes. Yeah, we do look similar. I see a lot of myself in you. Height. Height. Can you guys write down when you both bought those pearl necklaces? Write down the date. Don't say it out loud.

As close as you can get. Write it down or even write it in a text or something. I always lose these. I lost the fucking Birkenstock one. This is fucking stupid. Let me tell you, I bought this because I saw Rudy wearing it. I thought he looked cute i wish this was a joke that's how i shop as well it's like rudy looks so cute in his pearl necklace what if i bought one i'm not kidding that's really why the swagger jacking is real around here damn but you swagger jacked owen on

the white birkenstocks yeah but then i saw rudy out and he looked so cute and his girlfriend i was like yeah i'll just have that as well. He's wearing his girlfriend now. Frank, have you noticed any trends this summer or anything like that as far as how people dress or fashion stuff? No, I never even pay attention to fashion. Really? Yep.

That's Sigma, man. He doesn't give a fuck about it. You just wait for the trends to come back around to you. For example, Bermuda shorts. You're wearing some Bermudas? Yep. I heard Bermuda shorts are coming back. This is more of jorts, jean shorts. I love jorts. You know, girls be

these days, girls be unzipping their pants and folding them over. Tika was doing that. I kind of, no, Frank is kind of doing that a little bit. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah, they like to do that with the dickies. Yeah. Frank, yeah., they like to do that with the dickies. Yeah. Frank, yeah. Maybe we should all do that.

I remember back in the day, it was with your bikini. You'd wear a bikini, and then you'd open up your jean shorts and have them, like, opened up, like, on the boardwalk and stuff. That was a fire look. Yeah. A big Wildwood look. A sweet Wildwood look. At any moment, I could pee.

Right. Yeah. We took a trip down memory lane on Son of a Boy Dad this week about titties. Yeah. Yeah. you took a trip down memory lane on son of a boy dad this week about titties yeah yeah like your mother's titties related to something like three sentences ago yeah

I miss titties like they were so cool it was crazy back in the day and now fucking you know we've evolved no one has we don't have titties anymore when I was a kid though I do feel like all the women around me like had like titties and now i look at everyone i'm like i guess they weren't as big as i thought like i thought i also had big hope we were like at eye level though they were like eye level for us yeah i guess you're right so you could really

her teddies yeah if you just have it more at eye level it really changes the perspective if you see something from above right not as much it really exists at all you went to the shadow i mean it's her ass don't put him on the spot no he's a sapio i'm a favorite child he's a sapiosexual we know that about frank it's an absolute fact is that the l Lululemon bag, Frank? Lululemon bag? Like fanny pack. What is this guy talking about, right? Oh, that's the cell phone case. Cell phone case.

It looks exactly like that Lululemon bag that everybody has been wearing. I think Jordan just walked by wearing one a minute ago. She had the Lululemon bag? I think so. That's another thing that Frank was ahead of the curve on. Dude, you're basically wearing the Lululemon bag for, when did you get that cell phone case? I've been wearing cell phone case now for at least 15 years 15 years before the lulu lemon bag

even came out dude they're probably just studying you they're about to come out with an american flag striped mets hat or some shit like that i'd love a mets uh uh cell phone uh poster oh shit fucking you want to know what hey anybody to this, why don't you get Frank a Mets cell phone holder? Yeah. He makes like $75,000 a year on Cameo. On Cameo. Yeah, that's his salary here. He does, dude.

He's fucking caking. He's got the Cameo money. All deserved. And you know what? It's NFL fantasy draft season. Last year that turned me into an accountant around April 15th. I was doing like 20 a day. Cameos?

Wow. I remember you were posted up just doing cameo after cameo in the chair over there. In the office that he works at. Do you ever pay somebody to work on that? Do you ever think about delegating to somebody else, hiring out, making your business bigger? I don't know. At times, I do feel like I need a manager. People DM me, oh, come up here to here. Come up here.

So this entity calling themselves the Somerset Cardinals. Okay. Saying that they're part of the Amateur Baseball League of New Jersey. Cool. And they said that they're the best amateur baseball league in the Northeast. Okay. Got it. So I expected them to be playing in, well, okay, these are amateurs.

Maybe they're hoping that someone will catch their eye and maybe get invited to play in independent baseball. Frank, do you think you could be a baseball scout, given how much you've watched? Probably. What are the qualities in a player you look for? What a stupid question, Rudy. Yeah.

It's called team someone up. Of course he could be a baseball scout. I'd like to look at players who are hitting the clutch, you know. In the clutch. And don't have feeble at bats when runners are on base. Frank, I have a question. Who here in this room do you think has the most potential as a baseball player? Like, just, I mean, you've never seen me play baseball,

but just off of, like, you know, your spidey sense for baseball talent, who here do you think has what it takes? Who's got a pro frame? I would say Rudy probably. Yeah, I definitely see that too. That's an easy answer. It's the pearl necklaces. Yeah.

I mean, I honestly, this is sort of embarrassing, I'd never once played a game of baseball in my entire life. No time like the present. Someone get a bat. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to do it. The problem is that I think my attention span would wane. It just seems like you're just sitting out there and like you don't remember the shift like you'd be the center fielder like playing with the dirt and a little

100 it's like jesus fucking christ can we get some fucking action around here i just i don't think i can land it on skates though could kind of keep you on your toes a little bit as far as just like you'd have something to focus on not falling over a little bit that's actually a that would be a fire sport baseball Baseball on skates? Yeah, that'd be cool as fuck. I totally agree. Sliding would be... Ice baseball.

Dangerous. Perfect name for it. I feel like that's a good-ass name for it. Water baseball? Yeah. Any type of sports that, like, the fact that hockey's the only one on skates doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. How about that basketball where they, like, are all on trampolines?

Slam ball? Slam ball. What was that basketball where they are all on trampolines? Slam ball? Slam ball. What was that? Slam ball. Spike TV. So fucking awesome. Yep. It was great.

You thought it was going to be the wave of the future. Everybody thought that. Like Dippin' Dots, the ice cream of the future, but it didn't pull through. Yeah. It wound up happening. R.I.P. When do Dippin' Dots go to weigh the Choco Taco? Rest in peace.

We were actually talking about Choco Tacos yesterday at the firehouse. Yeah. I mean, I think everybody actually talking about choco tacos yesterday at the firehouse. Yeah, I mean, I think everybody's talking about them. They're a hot button issue. I never really had those. I didn't want to interject because I didn't want to sound lame. I was nervous. I've never had one either. It's in theory a great idea,

but the execution, the shell was always soggy and tasted like cardboard. The layering of the chocolate throughout the vanilla was never as good as you thought it was gonna be it's thin and then you bite it and all the ice cream comes out the other end like i just what is your favorite ice cream treat uh from those like trucks i fucked with the spider-man one every time or the sponge that one's by far the coolest the spider was theMan. Didn't they have a Flintstones push pop? Yeah, the orange one. Push pop.

Dreamsicle. Chip Witch Lady, myself. SpongeBob once had gums for eyes. Yeah, I like the ones that had the gums for like a nose or an eye. I always gravitated towards those because it was just like a... Frozen gum, nothing like it.

Yeah. I knew an ice cream truck. The guy sold heroin on the side too, so that's probably one of the better... That makes sense. You know, one way to make you feel good. You know, there are a number of trucks that have done it over the years.

It's called Branching Out and Versafine. Oh, the Bomb Pop. Maybe you should think of a better name than Bomb Pop, but those were good. Oh, Snickers Ice Cream Bar are the best. You know what I always notice is, always show those pictures of look how perfect

Spongebob looks Look how perfect Spiderman looks They look fucked up And then you And then you Open it and did the package and it looks like And it looks like Just like

Totally fucked up You think you're like tripping on acid when you look at it. You're like this is like a bad nightmare. Yeah, I mean that's sort of part of the fun though. It's just like I can't wait to see how fucked up this Spongebob looks. I mean they have one eye here, one eye here.

The mouth on the side. There it is. Frank, I've never seen you eating ice cream. I don't really eat ice cream. I have issues with dairy. It could make me sick, especially chocolate ice cream. Basically, I'll be throwing it up 10 minutes later. Oh, no.

What about dessert in general? Cake, good. Mousse is good. Yellow. Cake, good. mousse is good jello pumpkin pie apple pie cherry pie most desserts

what about carrot cake carrot cake could be good I like Italian ice, lemon ice chocolate ice cream here that's lemon ice lemon ice is a good, he couldn't see. Lemon ice is a good dessert, though, that you neglected to mention.

Luigi's bodies, Marinelli's. Is it Marinelli's? What's the more common one? What's that? There's a Ralph's. What are ice cream? Oh, what's the pre-packed one? Yeah, I think Mariano. Mariano? It's a beautiful name. But the wooden spoons disgusted me. They made my skin crawl.

I didn't like the sensation on the teeth. I don't like that at all. I don't even like thinking about a wooden spoon. Well, you could always take it inside and get a metal spoon or a plastic spoon. You can't always do that. Well, the metal spoon, they're all using it for the heroin. Right. They got burn marks on the bottom of them.

You know, in New Jersey, there's a place called the Lindhurst Pastry Shop. And at the Lindhurst Pastry Shop, it's owned by Anthony Rizzle's uncle. And you can get an Anthony Rizzle special, which is like chocolate and cannoli cream-flavored lemon ice. Do you want to shed any light on the interaction we had before this when I walked out onto the fire escape out there and saw you smoking 2.5 grams of weed in a backwood? That was not me. Are you sure, Frank? I'm pretty sure it was you.

I don't smoke. I would do an edible, but I don't smoke. I think that was Devlin. You DMed me the other day. Didn't something open near the office? You sent me a weed truck on Twitter. Did I? Yeah.

Yes. Literally. I mean, I can just pull it up. This isn't a bit. Frank is off the weed, dude. Ever since he had the edible in here, I know that he's been musing. Did you have an edible this morning, Frank? No.

It was a 2.5. That was too quick of a denial. But I did almost choke on a... On a chicken. Yeah, choked on a chicken sandwich.

That wasn't fun this morning. Yeah, I was in the bathroom. I came in, I thought someone was dying. You choke like mints. We talked on the 15th. You sent me

a weed website and I sent you some eye emojis. What is it? Oh, Granny Zah. That's why I sent it to you. Of course. Granny.

What? The name of the place is Granny Zah. Oh, Zah. So you sent it to Owen. Wait. What? Classic mix-up. He found a new weed place called Granny Zah.

Yeah, there's a weed place called Granny Zah. It's your name. And I sent it here, sent it to him for the yak. What if it was actually his grandma who ran the weed shop? Zah's grandma. That would have been fucking sick, dude. It's a Frankston plug. But I think it's absolutely funny.

And I look at Zod right now, and he's like, oh, what? Dude, you're baked. You are baked. Frank is fucking high out of his board right now. Are you sure you're not high? No, I saw him smoking. He must forget. I'm not high.

There it is. There's the place. Now, do you go there enough that you get a discount at this point, or what's going on? No, no, no. I haven't had that much. I haven't had that much, but you know... Welcome back, Frank.

You know what it is? You know why I'm in this mood? Why? Because the New York Mets just kicked the ever-loving shit out of the New York Yankees. One by one run. Oh, fuck, Tommy. You must be pissed.

The Yankees, they made a trade last night. Subway Series doesn't matter. For Frank, it's everything. Doesn't matter? Aren't you guys both just first place in your respective divisions? Didn't you guys get out to an early lead? Wasn't Pete Alonzo clobbering homers early on? I thought you were definitely going to win't Pete Alonzo like clobbering homers early on? I thought you were definitely going to win that.

Alonzo was clobbering homers for the Mets. Oh, for the Mets. Fuck, yeah. I'm an idiot. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Do you know what was the nice side of the game? That Mr. Mett went to the Yankees dugout and was able to sweep up the dugout. Two games is not a sweep.

It is a sweep. You just can't say the two games. It is a sweep. I disagree. Have you ever seen the video of Mr. Met tweeting Mrs. Met in the elevator? Yes. That shit was disturbing.

I think you're thinking of Ray Rice. He got like a two-game suspension for that. Yeah, she got a restraining order too. Changes his race. And wrote a whole album, breakup songs. Have you ever seen the This Is SportsCenter commercial where Mr. Met is driving and Mrs. Met's nagging him? album breakup songs. Did you ever see the This Is SportsCenter commercial where Mr. Met is driving

and Mrs. Met's nagging him and their three kids are sleeping in the back of the car? No. What happens? Is he driving to oncoming traffic? No. It looked like he had that thought in his head though.

As the breadwinner He probably just wasn't getting enough credit They kind of look like siblings She was probably on her period See you do see ya Yeah The kids asleep in the back The car seat's not adjusted correctly

He's just tired of her spending all of his goddamn money You know what I mean? Going to Target Going to Target Target run she said she's only gonna get drinking wine with the other mom burning dinner wait that was it that was the bechdel test you guys just had a conversation it's about men it was about a woman it was about what a woman was doing oh that's true oh but wait that doesn't count either does does it? Exactly. It has to be something like, hey, how's your career? It's going great, love. And I work with a lot of men.

Oh, fuck. Damn it. Oh, damn it, Kate. You're so close. Let's try again. Let's try again. Hey, your dog? Question mark?

I don't have one. I have a cat. But you have a family. And a son and a baby. Oh, damn it. Fuck, Owen. They were doing it. Owen, you had the fucking mansplain her life to her.

You enjoy horse racing. Yes, I enjoy horse racing. It's actually how I met my boyfriend. Oh, damn it. This shit is impossible. I don't know how. That's probably why it's never happened in a movie. Right.

Honestly, my thoughts, my thoughts in my head. My thoughts in my head, I wake up and my thoughts go boys guys dudes titties dudes dudes dudes shopping what man can provide for me today yes right frank do you know what the bechdel test is uh no i do not it's like a test who can who can can you explain it kate it's like most movies like like 99 of them don't pass it where a woman has more than like two lines in the movie or where women have a conversation that has nothing to do with men like two women almost every woman written into a movie or a show is about like her whole purpose is to talk about the men they they can no other man can be in the scene.

Yeah. So the problem is with rom-coms, they have a best friend, right? So cute, they talk. And they have two scenes together. But they're always like, I told you he whatever, and guess what he did next. So it doesn't even... Sex and the City might not... I feel like in a rom-com, the guys would be talking about the girls as well.

Yeah, but you guys have sports movies. You have a lot of other stuff. You guys have Matrix. You have Bridesmaids. But it would be hard to seek a romance movie of a man. Yeah, no, rom-coms, period, are bad. Because those are made for women. And so like that one, that one's,

but it's more like the Matrix. There's one female character. And her lines are, I want to suck your dick. Right. And... Is that true? She like, her whole purpose, like she doesn't do much and then

like there's like literally one scene where she's like i have to tell you i'm in love with you yeah and it's like parents you know yeah they just like put their feet up yeah right that's about it yeah he loves that shit though i mean i love movies well what about lifetime movies okay but those those are rom-coms I would say those are bitch drop the mic but those are still rom-coms you know what I mean the rom-coms is surrounded by the

but they're made for women so I'm not like complaining about rom-coms have you ever watched a lifetime movie Frank probably not yeah it's almost just like a it's like the choco taco it's like something we're all familiar with but nobody's actually consumed it it's it's i've consumed my fair share of lifetime they're all really good bullshit dude i swear they're all like when when when did you watch one when i was a kid maybe my mom what's your favorite one i there was one princess switch

i actually don't even remember the plots of all you don't know any of them but i just know when you're in it you're like they're not memorable but when you're in it it's like this is good they're always like also like stars that were like extremely famous in the early 20s and you're like denise richard i mean denise richards is still pretty big but like uh uh what's his face does him that was helpful he's on saved by the bell he's got black hair. Very handsome. Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez does a bunch of them. I watched one recently and it had the guy from Parks and Rec who's like literally.

Rob Lowe. Yes, thank you. Oh my God. Oh yeah. I wonder how much they're getting paid for one of those. Are they getting

a fucking big bag or is it just like a huge leading role? I mean, they make money. Hallmark makes money. Yeah. If you were an actor, do you think you would just

take all the roles you can, stack up that cash, or would you be very selective? I would take everything. I would take everything. It's like a privilege to be selective, I think. I'd be in Poo-Pourri commercials. I'd do anything.

Just look at The Rock. Rock has the Dwayne Johnson movie, The Month Club. Yeah, he does it all. They're all in a jungle or something like that. He just takes it as a chance to travel the world and go to the sweetest places. Like an eight-story trailer. Yeah, he's always in the jungle. He does one or two cartoons a year.

He always smolders. I mean, yeah. In fact, he has a cartoon coming out next month, I think. Would you vote for him for president, though, Frank? I mean, he's got to do something before becoming president. Like what? What hasn't he done? Like a drama.

Most The Apprentice. You want him to spend some time in the swamp before he fucking becomes a politician? Probably. Why? I thought we were trying to drain the swamp. You don't want to drain the swamp anymore? If he becomes an EGOT winner, I would be like... I mean...

You'd never do it. I mean, the problem with the swamp is that there's too many politicians that have been in the swamp too fucking long. Exactly. That's a fact. Speaking of, dude, what about Victor Boot, dude? What about this guy, Victor Boot,

that we're trading Brittany Griner for? Oh, trading the merchant of death. Yeah, this guy is fucking... this guy is literally a movie. His whole life is a movie. Yeah, this would be basically like the Anaheim Angels trading Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout and getting back Thomas Jabucki. Would that make it easier for everyone? Yeah.

Absolutely. Do you guys mind if I eat make it easier for everyone? Yeah. Absolutely. Do you guys mind if I eat a little bit of soup? Go for it. Oh, my God. It's only because it's soup that it's cool. Can you slurp it and can we guess what flavor it is? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, I have a little bit.

It's more of something I would like to make a rule. I don't feel like men should eat soup. I think it's a girl thing. Don't tell PFT commenter that. Chili. Men can eat chili, though. Men can eat chili. A thousand percent's a girl thing. Don't tell PFT commenter that. Chili. Men can eat chili though? Men can eat chili a thousand percent. Chunky soup.

If the soup has big chunks in it. But if it's creamy. What about all those Campbell's commercials with football players though? That's chunky soup. That's chunky soup. That's beefy boys having beefy soup. And I'm cool with that. It was a whole thing.

The gorgeous, gorgeous girls. Gorgeous, gorgeous girls have soup. Yes. Basically, if you're running a soup counter and a man came over here, I swear to God, I swear to God, Frank, you are trying to cancel me. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Not looking at it. Everyone close your eyes.

Everyone close your eyes. Zah's gonna guess it first. I think eating soup in the summertime is kind of a fucking psycho. Here's the deal. I cut up my tongue. I cut up my tongue really bad surfing so I can only eat soup next week. What an outrageous sentence. I cut up my tongue. I cut up my tongue really bad surfing, so I can only eat soup for next week. What an outrageous sentence. I know.

Cut up your tongue surfing? Don't look, Owen. You're going to see what it is. Is it manly to eat soup as long as you don't use a utensil and only use your hands? You nut surfing? Your hands? You guys hear that? It sounded like creamy tomato.

Did you cheat? Am I right sounded like creamy tomato. Did you cheat? Am I right? You are correct. Whoa. We should do this every day, and we'll have Rowan guess a new one. I've never fucked with tomato soup. Well, you've never fucked then. You got me.

I mean, tomato soup with a side of a grilled cheese sandwich, or a tomato soup with some croutons inside of it. Croutons. I'd like to make an addendum. I want my tomato soup to be the side to the grilled cheese. I want like a full grilled cheese. Croutons and soup is unreal. For all you soup, for all you soda fans out there,

and if you have a tomato soup the answer is orange soda orange soda pair is the best with tomato soup interesting I would not have guessed that what about chicken noodle Frank ginger ale you know what Ron is right ginger ale

if you're sick you're having tomato soup chicken noodle soup and ginger ale it's good for the soul how about creamy broccoli creamy broccoli that sounds like something that would be And if you're sick, you're having chicken noodle soup and ginger ale. It's good for the soul. How about creamy broccoli? Creamy broccoli, that sounds like something that would be good for a black cherry soda. Oh. Italian wedding soup?

Italian wedding soup, that sounds like something that you'd serve with Sprite. Yes. French onion. French onion? I think that's another soup that would be good with orange soda. I would have said root beer. Or yeah, Coke. I'd say something dark. What about a minestrone?

Minestrone? I would go with a cold beer, Coke, Pepsi. Here's one that we'll throw you for a loop. What about a cold gazpacho soup? Ooh. You mean a cold gazpacho? Yeah. That's something you give back to the chef and say, cook this shit.

What about the, what's a good soda to drink while you're watching the soup with Joel McHale, though? Would be a good pairing with that program. I miss that show. I know. I know, dude. Joel McHale was making like $40 million off of that, wasn't he? And then he insulted the Kardashians and the Kardashians went, I know. I know, dude. Joel McHale was making like $40 million off of that, wasn't he? And then he insulted the Kardashians, and the Kardashians went,

and got him canceled. Damn. Exact quote. I don't remember this. What did they get him canceled for? He got... Basically... We have breaking news. Sorry to interrupt.

Oh, this is a good interruption. After Caroline's comments, we have a soup expert on the phone. Whoa. What the fuck? I'm scared. Do we have a soup expert on the phone? Who are we talking to right now? Yeah, I'm a soup expert.

You can probably figure out who this is. I'm a big soup guy. And a man. Holy fuck. Oh, yeah. This guy's on Food Network. Yeah. I know this guy from the sound of his voice.

Caroline is running her mouth saying that, fellas, is it gay to eat soup? Is that what you're talking about? I didn't say it was saying that's exactly what she said. I said you just be slurping up that straight up liquid. I don't know. Yeah. Soup is the nectar of the gods. Soup does everything. it can be it can

be a drink it can be a meal i eat it for dessert sometimes my thing is it fills in the cracks so it can be an after meal treat it can be a before meal treat soup is you have juice as well do i do i drink juice yeah okay i thought you said juice for a second and that was okay well that would be that would be news yeah uh no i i do drink juice matter of fact i love juice you got a problem with that too no i was just wondering i just asked a question so of course we're talking to pft commenter pft dude this has to be pft i'm just this has to be a a damning blow you're out of the office for a day you know you get to kind of relax a little bit and then you hear your livelihood,

your manhood being called to the carpet here. It's jarring to say the least. Right now I'm doing the straightest thing possible. I'm sunbathing and it's extremely masculine. Then I get a text from TJ being like, yo, Caroline's saying that

females only are allowed to eat soup. Are you using tanning oil right now? masculine and then i get a text from tj being like yo uh caroline's saying that it's that females only are allowed to eat soup so are you using tanning oil right now no raw dog in the sun that's right the fucking sun damn that's yeah uh so pft i have a question so you're just you just be dipping a spoon into liquid and bringing the spoon up to your mouth and opening your mouth just slightly and rubbing the liquid off the spoon with your lips and swallowing it. It's so gay when you put it. Sometimes I just go face first into the soup. Oh, that's different. I go down on the soup.

Okay, that's different. Oh. He drinks it like a dog out of a bowl. That's scary. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine like a dog out of a bowl, like a scary. Yeah, I imagine like a dog out of a bowl, like a cat drinking milk delicately out of a saucer. That's sometimes my soup technique.

This morning, I actually had two giant bowls of cereal, which as we know is breakfast soup. Yes. It's just, I find it hard to believe that you've ever hung out with any true masculine alpha males if you think that men can't eat soup. First of all, you're correct about that. But second of all, it has a crunch to it.

If you have to chew, I'm okay with a chili. I get it. But a liquid, a puree, a baby food type texture, a creamy tomato, a broth, if you will. Come on. You guys ever have chicken pastina soup? You want us to just stick to chilies or something with more texture? Yeah.

You guys have to like... Okay, so this is how you eat soup, right? Oh. Right? This is how a man has to eat soup. He has to be like... Yeah, he has to be pretty gross. Yeah, teeth.

Yeah. Sometimes I just stick my hand in a nice big... See, that's what I'm talking about, PFT. That's what I'm talking... I don't know why I'm looking at that. Yeah, is clam chowder okay? How about a lobster bisque? Is lobster bisque okay?

Depends on how you eat it. Right. Damn, well, PFT... Dude, I appreciate you defending soup like this. I disagree with her take, but I will defend to death her right to say it. I'm a big First Amendment guy, so I'm glad that you have the platform to say it. I just think it's a disgusting train of thought that you're on. It's dangerous, too, if you follow that train of thought too far.

We ended up in some bad— I'm definitely going to twist that to say PFT defends my rights. Dude, PFT, any last— Any thoughts on Victor Boot before we move on? Victor Boot? Who's on? Victor Boot? Who's that? He's the dude we trade Griner for. We traded Griner for Boot.

It's like if you traded Otani for Thomas Kabuki. Is he like the god of war or something like that? Yes, he is. Yeah, I saw it in the headlines. Like, Brittany Griner traded for the god of war. But she can dunk. She's done it like six times. And we're getting two Americans for one Russian.

There's another guy who calls Griner in this deal. Yeah, but is he as famous? No, he's not. Put it through my ESPN trade machine that I have, and it doesn't work for cap implications. So we better be getting some cash over the top if we're getting Griner back. Dude, I'm afraid that we're not, but appreciate it. Actually, we're probably going to getting some cash over the top if we're getting Griner back. Dude, I'm afraid that we're not. Actually, we're probably going to send some cash.

She better bring her weed pen at least. Damn, that shit definitely got confiscated. PFT, well, we appreciate your words on boot and you defending the soup, dude. Salute to you. You're an American. All right, thank you, guys. God bless. Love you.

Come to Pop Punk tomorrow for sure. Yeah, we'll see you in Atlantic City. Hell yes. Thank you, guys. God bless. Love you. Come to Pop Punk tomorrow for sure. Yeah, we'll see you in Atlantic City. Hell yes. Good shit, PFT. Appreciate you, brother. My brother. All right. You guys want to spin the wheel?

Let's spin the wheel. Let's do it. Let's spin the wheel. First, bird dogs. Oh. Yeah, let's talk about fucking bird dogs. Dude, I wore bird dogs to the firehouse yesterday, and these firemen were fucking sucking me off, dude. The only thing they couldn't make fun of. Yeah, it was a train ride.

They tried all day. They all wanted a taste, dude. They all wanted to get a little bit of nibble. And there's enough to go around because bird dogs are the best and only shorts that you should be wearing this summer. They're the most comfortable shorts. It's not even close. And you can go to birddogs.com, enter promo code YAK, and they'll throw in a free bird dogs rope hat.

That's birddogs.com. Promo code YAK and boom, a free bird dogs hat with your pair of bird dogs. When you think summer, think bird dogs. They're the only bottoms you need. You will not take these things off. Mm-mm. I promise you. Not even if there's a fire.

Fuck no. Oh boy. So we need a wheel reset. We're kind of backed up. Cast for a week. I don't know what we do if it lands on cast for a week. You get that. That's still on there.

Oh yeah. I guess that should be just Roan's punishment. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll figure that out after you cast. There's too many options that are not dry on here. Right, there's a lot. It's almost equal. There's only two more dries than non dry on here. Right, there's a lot. It's almost equal. There's only two more dries than non-dries.

We got to start doing some stuff. Yeah, we got to do things. Were you saying Brandon's coming back next week, or is he just still getting owned by other dudes who make lists online? Monster dip is the chip. Monster dip is either a jar of dip or a can of dip. Could be a couple different things. Or you can go down to the ocean and take a monster dip.

You have to get there within 25 minutes. Or not the ocean. It doesn't have to be the ocean. Just a body of water. So what would Rowan's punishment be? He hasn't decided yet. He hasn't decided yet, but it's going to be dry anyway. I think the front runner right now is a frank shoeie but i'm still trying to kind

of beat that in my mind no yeah if today was yeah if today would have been a frank shoeie this would have been the luckiest day of your fucking life because you got new shoes sketchers frank got no laces and no laces those are nice literally Literally, I got them in the mail last week. Pretty clean, yeah. And I put them on this morning for the first time. You go no-show socks or you just go raw? Oh, I don't wear socks anymore. Raw.

Do you go raw? I guess that's raw. Yeah, full Lou Gehrig speech after doing a shoeie out of Frank's foot. I consider myself the luckiest man in the world. I mean, if there's ever a day to do a shooey, Frank Shooey. Fire me up, Frank. Let's do it. Come on, Owen. Not only is he going to break sobriety, he's going to do it out of Frank's shoe.

It's the only fucking way, Frank. It was very nice. How did you decide on the, was that a K-Swiss? I don't know. Sketchers. How did you decide on the sketchers? I got a pair of sketchers last year. I liked them, and now this is my fourth pair of sketchers.

That's crazy that you got new shoes before Tommy Smokes did. These are pretty new. I got them a few months ago from Allbirds. You throw those in the washer? Ken. them a few months ago from Allbirds. You throw those in the washer? No, I threw a different pair of Allbirds in the washer. It didn't work. But you could have done that. I got too many bird

advertisers. Right. Just the two, really. Allbirds and Bird Dogs. But I confuse them all the time. How do you wash shoes in the washer? Just throw a Tide Pod in there. Really? It didn't work, so it's probably not good advice. Well, some shoes can in the washer. Just threw a Tide Pod in there? Really. He just sold it in the... It didn't work, so it's probably not good advice.

Well, some shoes can, are equipped for it. Rothy's, for example, you can wash, but some others... I figured maybe I could wash some of my Skechers and have... Yeah, you can wash your raw Skechers.

The Tide Pod just bursts inside the washer. Well, I don't use Tide Pod. I use Purex liquid detergent. No free ads. A man of class. caroline can i ask you a real question how's it been since you uh won barstool idol it's been good i um the first two weeks i was here well the one week we were on break but the first week i was doing i actually like just started actually two weeks i'm only two weeks in but the first week we were doing podcasts but i wasn't really here i wasn't like making anything my contract hadn't started so now i'm two weeks in um and i know what i'm doing i feel like the first week everyone was telling me

like oh just go do stuff on your own and i was like oh okay yeah what do you mean and so then i like realized like literally go make stuff on your own so now i'm doing good i know what i'm doing i got a track you've got a bunch of videos come out already. A lot of videos. I have a podcast next month. Can you tell us more a little bit or too soon? I mean. Tell us.

What the fuck? Too soon? What? I have the handle on Instagram, so it's pretty official. Nice. No, I'm going to have a podcast where people write in and we're going to give them toxic advice. Okay.

All right. Pretty official would be a good podcast name. Pretty Official? Yeah. Well, that's pretty good, but you know, you're like a pretty official. Here's what we did, though. Hi. Welcome, Tico.

What's going on? I like this fit. Hell yeah. I know. Tico, making the rounds. Hey, Tico. Is there a party this morning? Yeah making the rounds. Hey, Tico. Is there a party this morning? Yeah.

You're looking fly, Tico. Tico, what's up? Damn. Oh, shit. Got the double. Wow. Oh. You look so cute.

I like your outfit. I think it's our first time meeting, right? Yes, it is. It is? But I admire your photos on your desk every time I walk by. You could tell her that it's Tico's desk because it's all pictures of Tico. It's dope. If I looked that good, I would too, though.

Talk into the mic, Tico. Speak into the mic so the good people in the audience can hear you. What's y'all on here talking about? Tico, actually, I'm glad you came in because you and me have beef. We have beef? Yeah. Why? Because, dude, you went to fucking France at the same time I went to France.

Saint-Tropez. You were in Saint-Tropez the same time I was in Saint-Tropez. And you said you were going to be on a yacht. And you said that you'd hit me up and invite me to your yacht party. And I sat there by my phone for fucking four days in Saint-Tropez. And I fucking never got the call from you. You never left the hotel from you. You never left the hotel room even.

Exactly. And I know that you were having the time of your fucking life gallivanting around the world with your famous and rich friends having an incredibly

transcended time. You see my titties on the New York Post? Yes, they looked wonderful. What? Yeah, thank you. They were so perky. Thank you.

They were wonderful. Thank you, Thank you. Thank you. Now, Ron, I don't even know if I have your right number because I did try to reach out to you. And I got no text back. I can show you the proof. Oh, really? Yeah.

So that's the real tea. Did you enjoy France? I enjoyed it. But I was just, I just saw so many yachts all over the place. And I was like, what do I got to do to get on one of these yachts? And it seems like you've already unlocked that key to life. I have I have. Shout out to Libby. That's why I keep telling her I'm like I want to know how you do all this

stuff like how I'm not cool enough. She's a great networker. I interviewed her. I interviewed her two weeks ago and then since then we've been to the Hampton she had me house sit in her crib on the Upper East Side and then she flew me to Ibiza, flew me to Canes, flew me to St. Jepres and to St. Joseph in Paris.

God damn it. Lovely. Wait, so what, what, what, how did you wind up in the New York post? So Libby,

actually we were staying in a villa in Ibiza and she got robbed for like half a million dollars. Oh shit. I clicked the story not knowing. I was just like on the site and I clicked the story and I'm halfway through it. I'm like, that's Tico Texas. Yo. That's Tico's titties. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I love that. I was just on the site and I clicked the story and I'm halfway through it. I'm like, that's Tico Texas. That's Tico's titties. Yeah.

I love that. I love that. Tico titties is her other handle, by the way. Did they ask for permission to use one that your nipple was visible in? So I actually sent the photo to them. Oh, no. Exactly. You know what I'm saying?

Sex sells, right? I would say that's a very smart. It was only a little bit. I was going to say we could sue if not. No, it was tasteful. It was a tasteful get some money exactly just chase the bag

that could have been like album artwork yeah you liked it you saw the picture oh yeah it's a gorgeous picture oh wow

I was like y'all was talking about me up here no no we just no we just oh okay oh look oh shit

damn see they go Libby in the back you know what I'm saying that's my girl did they catch you did it or they haven't caught anybody

they haven't caught it it's like a whole thing um but more people's stories are coming out like some guy got his whole rolex watch collection stolen from that so fuck uh six senses and abiza because that's who be robbing and stealing and shit who's six senses it's a villa it's like a spiritual villa retreat that's in abiza but instead they like they target rich and the famous people and the staff like steals like all their shit and they don't put any safes in the villas so they it's even like even more easy so is there any clues did anyone take like Instagram pictures where we could look at someone in the background and be like maybe that was the person that did it or something like that anything that we could kind of maybe crowdsource a way to get this cash

back for this rich lady I feel like Americans do that flex and shit. You know what I'm saying? Out in Spain, they're just going to rob her, take her to the truck, get the bread, and never say anything again. They kind of do it a little more slicker. Yeah, but I think Rowan wants to do like a Hardy Brothers. Yeah, Encyclopedia Brown type of shit. Anyone have a great day? Nancy Drew moment.

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do an investigation. Let's all go solve the crime. Let's figure it out. Let's figure it out. Y'all missed me though? Y'all missed me? Energy around the office? Y'all didn't even notice I was gone.

We're all looking at your posts going, oh, nice. What are you talking about? You're in the New York Post. Litty, litty. What's going on with you? What are you doing now that you're back stateside? You know, I just got back from Rolling Loud Miami. That was really lit. I know the owner's there. So they invited me out, and I was able to see them, just hang out, spend time with them.

Kendrick was amazing. Future was amazing. It was a really great time. I saw a picture of you and Uzi. Yeah, yeah. I met Uzi. I was like, hey, Uzi, I'm Tico Tex from Barstool Sports. He's like, hey Tico Tex from Barstool Sports. I was like, oh

shit, that's lit. So shout out to him. He just came out with a new album, right? He did, yeah. He did. He did. I was listening to it this morning. I love Uzi's music. You know what I'm saying? Hopefully me and him get on a track together and shit like that. But that's just all this is about. Networking, meeting people, and connecting it in some way that, you know, benefits the both of us.

Any new artists that we could look out for that surprised you at Rolling Loud put us on to somebody Don Tolliver is really amazing I don't know he's from Houston

he's under Travis Scott's label and he's a really really dope performer and artist so y'all should definitely check him out and then they told me

so big news okay nobody knows this I'm dropping it on the yak right now exclusive news I'm on stage for Rolling Loud New York in September, baby. Yes, Frank. Wrap it up, Frank.

Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. I'm going to need y'all all there. I'll get y'all backstage passes, you know, so everybody knows. Yeah. I'm going to need y'all all there I'll get y'all backstage passes

You know say everybody Yeah I'm gonna need y'all there I'm gonna need y'all there Supporting me Y'all promise? What is the Are you gonna be on stage?

Are you gonna be like Performing? Performing? Performing My music You know what songs yet? Yeah I got a little set list And I'm working with dancers

We're gonna have like a little light show You know visual thing going on It's real serious. What the heck? Congratulations. That's incredible. I just think the day after we'll hear this. Sup fellas? I was out rolling loud

and just tearing it up. Ben Mintz is going to be on some acid for your show. You got to know that he's going to be tripping his balls off for your show. It's the only way. Great vibe, Seiko. Thanks for coming show. You gotta know that he's gonna be tripping his balls off for your show. Love that. It's the only way. Yo, great vibe, Seiko. Thanks for coming in.

Thank you so much. Oh, yes. Happy to have you back. The Seiko 10's still going on. You know what I'm saying? We still got the guests going. So shout out to everybody supporting.

We love you. Love y'all, yeah. And lastly, before you go, what soda do you think goes best with French onion soup? 7-Up. Oh, shit.

That's a good answer. That's been refreshing. That's a good choice. Respectful nod from Frank. He was like, oh, sage nod. Good choice. 7-Up briefly had something called DNL. DNL?

And it was a caffeinated version of 7-Up. Oh. 7-Up has no caffeine? Never hot it, never will. Really? And if you're as old as I am, you actually understand that reference. Oh, DNL. See, it's upside down.

Remember, make 7-Up yours. That t-shirt kids were getting in trouble in school. Yeah, they had the guy. I forgot the guy's name. It was Jeffrey they had the guy. They had the guy. I forgot the guy's name. It was Jeffrey, Jeffrey or something like that. On Tolliver. And he was a Bond villain in like Live and Let Die.

And he did 7-Up commercials in the late 70s, early 80s. And he said, 7-Up the un-cola. Never had it, never will. And he always like, never had caffeine, never will. And he always like, never had coffee, never will. And he always like laughed when he had that on his head. Wait, I have a question. What were kids getting in trouble for? There was this commercial that was like the slogan Seven Up had was make seven up yours.

But in the commercial, the guy's like, what? Make seven up yours. So kids were wearing shirts that said make seven on the front, but up yours on the back. And they were getting in trouble. It was a big deal of humor. Did you guys play the game in middle school, seven up? Seven up, heads up, seven up. Yep, that was a good game. What is that?

When everyone was heads down with their thumb up, and one person was like the captain, they'd go and put a few thumbs down, and then you'd have to guess. Yeah, I remember doing that in third grade. Third grade, yeah, you were in third grade. the captain they'd go and put a few thumbs down and then you'd have to like guess yeah i remember doing that like in like third grade third grade yeah you were in third grade yeah can i make a confession about soda yeah love to play that for about half my life i thought that caffeine free meant that it had caffeine like i thought in my head i rational rationalize it as that they unleash the caffeine.

So I always drink like that. Like page-free chicken? How many people have had this drink? It's a soda that I don't think it's around anymore. It made a brief comeback a couple years ago. It was called Jolt Cola. I seen it. And Jolt Cola has twice the caffeine and twice the sugar. Oh, I remember. I remember Jolt. They sold caffeine and twice the sugar. Oh, I remember.

I remember, Jolt. They sold gum as well, right? Yes, they did. I remember they had Joke Cola was actually sold on my college campus. And I had it almost every morning. Do I know what I miss? The Fanta girls. A lot of people said.

Oh, not the sexy one. People said I looked like the dorky one. Aren't they all sexy? Which color? No. Which color? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? The Fanta girl who.

There was a dorky Fanta girl? No, they were all sexy. They were like the Spice Girls. There was like an orange, a purple, green. Yeah. Wait, which one were you? Do you know which color? You know what?

There was a yellow. There was. The red girl I remember being. No, I'm thinking of Sundrop. Everyone said I looked like the dorky Sundrop commercial girl. You know what I'm talking about? I wonder what other soda. Sunkiss.

Sunkiss was good. I can't remember what she looks like, but I can remember her outfit. Yep. I got so many people back then who was like, she... Like a Juno outfit. Look up Sundrop soda girl, and it's pretty much me. You know, Fanta has kind of a dark history.

Don't you wanna? It's a black owned business? Way back. It's not that... Look up where Fanta got its start in the 1930s. Columbia? Can you tell us? Yeah.

Germany. Oh, so kind of a Hugo Boss type situation. It's got definitely a Hugo Boss type situation to it. That's a damn shame. Also NASA. Volkswagen. They were just getting, the Nazis were getting giggly off Phantas.

Well, we just got to use those paper clips to cover that up at NASA. NASA's Nazis? We kind of just siphoned their scientists discreetly, and then they kind of put us in the places we wanted to go. I feel like we took their scientists from them? Yeah, pretty much. Is that that fucked up?

Or I guess it's that fucked up. I mean, got us on the move. What's the alternative? Let them keep working for them make them stop doing science yeah or just let them go to Argentina so yeah the sun drop girl isn't I'm not saying she's I'm just saying she's she's like quirky she's dirt she's dorky a little bit she's dorky but she's like a hot girl wearing like those 3d glasses she's like I'my. I'll go taco. I gotta get eyes on her. Yeah, she,

look at her. What did you guys all get? What did you guys? Yeah, what's wrong with her? That was you? If you watch the commercial, I think that's the same outfit as Juno.

People said it was very strong me vibes. No free ads, but. Oh, she's about to drop it. I don't know. Oh my God, she's hot. Oh my God. I do feel like that gives me vibes.

Wood. Wait, you did this come out. 2013. This was on like every commercial. It was everywhere. I've never heard this before. Can we remake it with you in the office? I have a photo of myself standing next to her cardboard cutout in a PX on Camp Pendleton.

All my friends were like, that's you. People bullied you in middle school. You're just so fun. And you're just like, you don't care what anyone thinks. Just because I had no tits, a greasy face. People made fun of me. I was a loser.

You were homeschooled. Were your parents saying this? No. Caroline was not homeschooled, you were homeschooled. Were your parents saying this? No. Yeah. My parents. Caroline was not homeschooled. I was homeschooled. One time before the bracket, she's like, yeah, I was homeschooled. And then she told five stories about high school. Let me explain.

The syllabus week of college was a gauntlet. Let me explain. Let me explain. I was homeschooled until I graduated high school. I graduated with a bunch of people I'd never met in my life. There were like 40 of us. And at our graduation, they literally played PowerPoints. And our parents spoke over them of baby pictures of us.

That's how many people we had in our graduating class that each person could have a minute-long PowerPoint. Wait. Your parents didn't teach all the students? This is where I'm about to get in for you. Everyone was taught individually and then they came together? Yes. So what unified you guys i was on competitive homeschool christian basketball team ah and that's where all my friends came from and my brother was on the boys one

oh so it was all the basketball parents it was like all the that's where all my friends were that's where everybody so the only event you did with them was graduating no the graduation was like a lot of homeschool kids in the area so like i didn't we had like homeschool prom where all the kids in the area who didn't know each other went to prom you just take your sister i feel like that's very my brother exciting french marriage where you don't know anybody because like if you went to another school's dance that was exciting as a kid totally fresh fresh people one, I mean, there was nothing exciting. Yeah. It was quite tragic, actually. Because no one had ever socialized.

There was no, like. You, like, couldn't make eye contact. And you're just trying to wingman for your siblings. You had to, no, this is not a joke. I really am. This is not a bit. At our homeschool prom, they couldn't play any music because, like, dirty lyrics. So they just played, like, the instrumentals.

Like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, like g6 was really big and it was just the instrumental and then they stopped the dance and there was a swing dancing competition oh man damn you grew up in uh where did you have your childhood yeah that's i i'm from like right outside of dallas okay big homeschooling community okay why why is it a big homeschooling community? Because you can't, you can't tell Texans their children to have to go to school.

Right. You can't tell me what to do. Yeah. This is what they play just on loop. Everyone's like, no one's grinding. No one's touching each other.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember I was thinking back about like grind lines. Like lizard. Oh yeah. Grind lines I was thinking back about like grind lines. Oh yeah, grind lines. You wouldn't know what it is. Oh, you guys would get in a line and grind?

Like a human centipede? A human centipede of boners. Yeah. It was awesome. Disgusting. It was awesome. And Eiffel Towered out there. It was so good.

It was so hard. And this is how we would dance. We would just jump up and down because like trying to get to heaven. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I like your dance moves, like, trying to get to heaven. Wow. Tommy, I like your dance moves, dude. Thank you.

You remind me of Elvis. Thank you. I get that a lot. No, KB. I feel like Tommy probably grinded a lot in high school. No, no, no, no, no. I did go to Glow. Rowan, do you remember Glow Nightclub along the island?

Yeah. It was like a teen nightclub that they had. Holy shit, yeah. It's Rio Melties. Twice a year. It's actual Melties. It was over by, likeclub that they have. Holy shit, yeah. It's Rio Melty's. Twice a year. It's actual Melty's. It was over by the mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a standalone bar just in a parking lot. It's now a Buffalo Island. Did you guys drink in high school? Can we just keep G6 on for this one? Yeah, I'm talking over it for sure. No, this was like, I was like 13, very short, very long hair, glasses, braces. And a couple of girls grind on me, ironically. So that was nice.

Like a bully to bully you. So they could laugh with their friends. Yeah, yeah, like the older, hot, but it was cool. I was like the older, hotter girls. Like, oh, look at this. Like, yeah, you're not pranking me. No, this feels great against my penis. Yeah, that place was wild because it was a foreign concept to see like other kids not from your school. Right, exactly.

It was like a college, you know, it was like college before. But other kids not from your school. Right, exactly. It was like knowledge before. Tommy, which one are you? We were wearing American Eagle polos and 100-pounds khaki shorts. I'm on the right. But even worse than that. What about, did you ever make it to Foo? No. Once we got to high school, there was just a sushi restaurant.

You know what? It's ironic you showed that picture because that's what Edwin Diaz made Joey Gallo look like. We can do better than that, Frank. He looked like a young white boy. Yeah, the teenage clubs were definitely a thing in Colorado, too. Who was organizing

those? What adults? Super motors? I remember my one friend like came back to a group he's like i grinded on six girls and we were like what the man they in colorado the kids there was like this fad where the when everyone would

have their 16th birthday party they would like go to a club in denver but they'd rent it out yeah and then we would just go to the nightclub and just and you couldn't drink obviously but how about those party limos can we riff on uh kate's hypothetical uh club owner who was just making sure 13 year old dude rules like who yeah who the hell yeah we're talking about a pedophile i mean honestly that's

where the riff was gonna go what do we what do we need at the club tonight for teen night you need no alcohol no you alcohol. You need Fanta. You need soda. You need weird, like, black lights. Yeah, you need black lights. Black lights were huge. You need Ying Yang twins. Every song has to have appeared on a DJ Earworm remix.

It needs to be just soap on the ground. Yeah, you need a theme, preferably neon. Definitely a theme. Tie-dye, maybe. What is that, Kidz Bop? maybe. What is that? Kids bop? Yeah. Slutty kids bop. Now this is what I call music. Volume

I would say like 17. That one goes crazy. But how do we get the kids to spend money? If there's no drinks. Drugs. We'll sell drugs. Oh, okay. Actually, we'll label it as drugs. It'll just be candy. They won't know any better. Like as drugs. It'll just be candy. So it'll be like...

They won't know any better. Yeah, like angel dust and it's just sweeties. You know what I mean? Could we sell t-shirts? Kids love t-shirts. Kids love shirts. But they're slutty t-shirts. Yeah, or like an airbrush artist.

Oh, yeah. I don't want to say strip club in Philly, but it was like 18 and up nights at some club in South Philly. 18 to get busy, 21 to get dizzy. Yeah, and it was like... Egypt on the waterfront. Only like a couple times I went because I had to sneak it, but it was like us and then like a bunch of grown-ass men.

Were the ages different for men and women? Like it was like a lot of young women and then like men. Because we had, in Providence, there was a ton of bars. There was 18 and up for girls 21 and up for guys that's very providence i feel like providence is always doing shit like that dude what's providence's deal i don't know classic providence they like everybody else would think everybody there is from massachusetts but like if you're from there you don't you don't you're not from massachusetts you don't want people to think you're from Massachusetts.

You know. Bride full about Rhode Island. The one thing I've learned about Rhode Island is nobody in Rhode Island knows how to drive. Oh, yeah. That's a fact. Not one person.

There'll be a lot of women there. I mean, you can't even drive, bro. You don't drive on the highway. You literally are afraid to do that. He just runs if he needs to go anywhere. He just runs. Yeah. He's like Forrest Gump. Yeah, it takes a tricycle. Let's change the topic. You literally are afraid to do that. He just runs. If he needs to go anywhere, he just runs.

It takes a tricycle. You definitely can't run. There's no way you can run. I can run. His upper body doesn't move. You know the worst part about driving on the highway is when you find that groove at 35 miles per hour and you're

in the slow lane. Even though you're in the slow lane. And even though you're in the slow lane... What are you talking about, dude? 35 miles an hour on the highway? And everyone just keeps honking at you. That is the worst. That is. Yep.

Frank, you drive 35 in the slow lane? I don't like driving fast, so... 35 should be illegally slow, though. They probably think you're smuggling drugs and paranoid. That's a little dangerous, Frank. That's way worse than driving too fast. That's why I try to avoid the highway. Okay, fair enough.

There was one time I was driving with Duggs, and I look over at Duggs. He's got his hands... He's got his hands, like, into the... His nail's almost driving into the dashboard, and he's got this, like into the – his nails almost driving into the dashboard. And he's got this like look on his face. You're so big. He's had too far.

You're so high. You might be accidently. It's okay. Like everybody around this office is fine with it. Very supportive. Everybody's super casual about marijuana use, but you're really hot. No, Frank is that ad where she's melting into the couch. She's melting into the couch in front of us.

He's feeling his... It's a fabric wall. Yeah, you had on the 420 episode. He's ashen white. And then there's another time when I'm making left-hand turn, this one guy just misses by about one inch. And I thought he was going to make a left turn, but he

had his blinker on, but he didn't turn. And all of a sudden, he started going, Yeah, the guy going 35 on the highway is definitely not baked. No, no, no. He thinks he's going 85. And now whenever I go anywhere, Doug says, I'm driving. Yeah, yeah. Which is probably fair.

I mean, he gets there literally twice as fast as you probably. Right? Yeah. The speed limit's around 70. I just don't like driving fast. I take it a little slow. Yeah, it's the trend of you New Yorkers. I mean, Balls was the same way.

He went to San Francisco one time, and Balls was like, you've got to take the wheel for getting on the highway. He can't do it either. That's not a New York thing. That is. No, it's not. That is. No, people drive in New York. Nobody in New York drives on the highway. He can't do it either. That's not a New York thing. That is. No, it's not. That is. No, people drive in New York. Nobody in New York drives on the highway.

It's very common. That's a Glennie Balls thing. For him to like pawn that off as like, oh, that's a long highway. Tommy does it too. Everybody drives immediately. Glennie Balls drive us through the cliff. Were you there on the pebble? Through the cliff?

He drove us through the cliffs of Beach. He always finds it, dude. Glennie Balls drove right through the cliff. He drove right through the cliff, yeah. If I remember correctly. He's the only man here. He lost his, he couldn't the beach. He always finds it, dude. He drove right through the cliff. If I remember correctly. He's the only man here. He couldn't find it. The directions were gone.

He couldn't find it anywhere. Were you with him? Yeah, that's where that happened. I remember he was adamantly trying to hunt down In-N-Out. And I think that was when we... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the only thing that gave him the steel. It's what you want to do yeah his lifelong fear of driving driving was broken by a craving for ending up yes and

then also on that trip was uh his first time in the pacific ocean and that was a big moment yeah it's pretty wet near the clit yeah it is is. But they never really made it to the clit, did they? Wasn't he awake for an hour or so? Did you guys find it? Oh, yeah. That may have been that trip, too, where he was awake for a whole nine hours. No, that was a different trip. 16 hours.

Why? 16 hours straight. Yeah. Nobody's awake for 16 hours straight. That's crazy. It's a lot for anyone. That trip was awesome. Pebble Beach is one of the nicest places awesome it made me like nauseating it like nauseated me how nice it was 17 mile drive out there and that's where pebble beach is on

like that pretty coastline everything it's like the goonies yeah it made me fucking pissed actually i fucking i got angry with how nice it was because i was like I just live in New York. What am I fucking doing? Everyone there was just like so amazing. Yeah. What are you doing? I don't know. I think I'm a sadomasochist. I don't want to enjoy nice things. Where are you from Rudy? Denver. Oh yeah. I mean. Yeah. Denver.

Where is the clit? What does it say? It didn't match anything. Are you serious? Not real. You can't find it. Is that a joke page? No, that's Google. I think it's real. No, I think it must be a joke. No, this is live.

There's not enough time to do that. Wow, Google is so funny. Yeah. What the fuck, dude? That shit's preposterous. Google's obviously male. Remember the old... Did you get that bracelet, Rudy?

This one? It's a bootleg Cartier. I have people come to me at bars like, oh, dude, is that Cartier? And I always say yes, I got it at Urban. It's the nails they used to hang Jesus on the cross, it looks like. It is.

It's pretty intense. Mystic model. Satanist, yeah. You put another necklace on beneath the pearl necklace? Yeah. You have nice nails, too. Thank you, guys. Suck off, Rudy. This always ends up this always ends up happening i wasn't trying to yeah i got like a i'm just saying every time he's on the show everyone's like by the end it's like rudy is the coolest because you want rudy

is the coolest rudy is 3 400 you're trying crossword puzzles yeah you are the coolest yeah thanks guys this is nice let's keep going but has some great style as well Owen is very cool I do the same as you Tommy trying to dress like Rudy yeah they're very cool Owen's got that like I may it looks like he like writes movies but indies only yeah yeah that's like the aesthetic

Owen works at a record shop yeah Tommy looks like a counselor it's not a bad thing is he a counselor or is he one of the kids I appreciate that. Yeah. Tommy looks like a camp counselor. That's not a bad thing. And they're always like, is he a counselor or is he one of the kids? No, it's one of those ones where he's like, he graduated from the camp the year prior. And then he was on a power trip the next year.

Oh, I remember this. Caroline, did you have to do like a debutante's ball? No. Like a southern lady? Oh, no, no, no. But I did nanny when I was in New York. I nannied kids that were doing cotillion. I did cotillion. And she came home.

What's cotillion? Is that like manners classes? It is. It's the debutante. It's like you're stepping out into society. It's the debutante at the end of cotillion. Yeah. But the little girl came home.

She's like four years old. And her older sister was like how was it and she asked if like hey was whatever there was nicole there and she goes nicole was there but her dress was not as pretty as mine and they were like four years old debbie's hot ball does not hot throat but i never went did you do one no oh god no no no he was given a hand job in the woods in south carolina my dad's from Philly, so I grew up in Texas. It definitely counts. Church camp.

What you doing, Frank? Tweeting? Just tweeting. You crank up the dosage today? It's not a macro dose. The goat returns, Frank. I'm trying to find a picture of me from Cotillion. You did it?

I was swagged out. I did Cotillion, but I didn't do the debutante ball, so I did all the prep and never got it. I always wanted to do it because Rory Gilmore did it, and I was like, oh, yeah, Gilmore Girls. I'm trying to find a picture. It's hilarious. It's tough, though.

It's like the most awkward thing ever. You have to learn how to foxtrot with a random person. It's actually kind of like your graduation. You're just with a bunch of kids. Would you teach us how to foxtrot? Yeah, do you know how to foxtrot with a random person. It's actually kind of like your graduation. You're just with a bunch of kids. Would you teach us how to foxtrot? Yeah, do you know how to foxtrot? I don't remember anything from that. I didn't retain a single thing.

And I also miss the table manners day, and I have no tours. No offense. Neither of you guys have that good of manners. Well, that's why I didn't do it, though. But that's why Rudy wears pearls, because he did cotillion. Because he went to cotillion. Exactly. It teaches you how to look like a man on the Titanic.

You clutch them every time someone's got the knife on the wrong side of the plate. It was on his resume. Trying to find this fucking picture. It's hilarious. What were you saying, Frank? So he went to Cotillion. I guess he didn't go to Jared. What does that mean?

The jeweler. He went to Jared. Your broke ass doesn't know, dude. You can't even afford the real Cartier, dude. Big Cartier. Yeah, he's talking about fine diamonds. I actually have a problem with Cartier because it's so expensive, but I don't actually like anything.

Yes, fact. You know? And, like, I would love for, like, someone to drop a couple grand on a bracelet for me, but I don't actually like any of the stuff there. That's how some of you guys get tricked. I went into an Aritzia this weekend. It's just standard clothes. Not only that, the people.

It's all super, super expensive, so it's like, oh, this must be what I need to get. They also follow you into the dressing room, and when you come out, they're like, oh, my God, love. And they're like, I'm a people pleaser. And I was like, sure, I'll buy 1,000 pairs of clothes. Like, I can't. It's so stressful stressful to me i can't go in there anymore i bought like 20 bath bombs around here once because the lady seemed desperate no i don't even take baths i just

you don't even have a bath i don't know yeah i just what about you just have bombs oh bath salts those are good for frank be. Frank, be careful, man. That's how this stuff starts. Why are you asking me that, Frank? All of a sudden. Why are you asking, Frank? Gateway drug. I don't want to see you like one of those Florida zombies. Seasoning your brain a little too much? What's the hardest drug you would do, Frank?

Just a one-time use. Just for goofing. I don't know if I'd go much harder than pot. Well, what about mushrooms? Those are like becoming legalized by Joe Biden's fucking liberal ass. I don't like mushrooms. It's not like mushrooms like the food. Mushroom chocolate, you wouldn't taste the mushrooms.

Doesn't like chocolate. Mushroom chocolate ice cream? Not ice cream cake. He throws up ice cream. Yep. So you will do mushroom chocolate? I don't know about that,

but... Sounds like a yes. You can get a tincture. It sounds like you're saying yes. Yeah, just a little tincture. Placed by me is selling them in like shooters now. Yeah.

Like a five-hour energy. Like teas. You can have different teas. A couple drops of that in a root beer. Sillicide into the skull. Open up your third eye. What about cocaine?

Like pure Colombian, straight from Medellin, uncut, delicious cocaine. And it's right before a very important Mets game, and they need you to be yelling in the stands. Would you do it then? Mets love to yell. I always yell in the stands. But more than usual.

They say, Frank, you do this line of coke and we'll win this game. Right. Yep. Man of. Right. Yep. Man of his word. Yep. In the playoffs, we're definitely going to have to fucking get you some coke lined up and strike an agreement with the Mets that if you do the coke, they'll win. I think they'd do it.

Frank, you are high the only thing that makes you high is that the Mets kicked the up-loving shit out of the Yankees I think you've had marijuana also gelato some fucking kush

well you know when you leave when you leave that game you get the contact high do you have any left? no he smoked it to the face the contact high. He's got to be in his orbit, baby. He'll get there.

The contact high. Of course. Oh, and the contact high. Dude, tonight there's a new episode of Barstool's Most Dangerous Game Show. True. I would strongly recommend watching it. Some criticisms of the last episode,

and I think a lot of them are kind of wiped away by this episode and the next couple. I would say the second episode was probably the weakest, and then it's just going to get significantly stronger from there. I don't want to discredit any of the rest, but I've heard three is... Three is crack. Four is incredible.

Five is fan favorite. It's going to fuck your shit up. Hell yeah. Fuck your shit. Are you seeing anything differently upon the watch? It's interesting to see what went on at the camp and what people said in their confessionals because it kind of ties some things together for me

as far as what I was thinking. I was thinking. I was like, is this going to make sense that I'm saying this? And then you see what people are talking about at the camp. And that's some of my favorite stuff, just kind of the behind the scenes at the camp. Did you have eyes and ears? Be like, hey, this is what's kind of going down.

Some of the producers we would kind of talk with, but even so, there was some stuff where early on they'd be like, this person's definitely getting eliminated tonight. Like it's a wrap. Like we just talked to them, we know, and it would be someone completely different.

Oh, they're playing games. Couldn't even trust the information that you're getting from the crew and stuff like that. Were you hanging out with people like cameras off? Were you like,

hey Thomas, like what's going on? Not really. Tommy followed me into the bathroom one day at like a fucking, at a meal. You followed me

into the bathroom? They like didn't let you, right? Yeah, they gave you a hard time for trying to hang at a meal. He followed me into the bathroom. He didn't let you, right? He gave you a hard time for trying to hang out with Seth. That's my move. There was almost no overlap, and it kind of gave me a big head. But that was Frank who had the big head. Can we go back to big head Frank? I love that.

One time. But there was definitely a separation of church and state. Oh, interesting. I did run into Tommy in a bathroom one time. I locked the door. Oh, he's out of here. All right, Frank. Uh-oh.

Do we have the tech for a tiny head yet? Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. San Diego Chargers. Waterfall. San Diego Chargers waterfall it's been a long it's been a long show but yeah definitely watch that shit tonight

and you know we can get out of here yeah what's the point of us big Friday tomorrow save all the good vibes for tomorrow yeah big Friday tomorrow

it was definitely high right yeah what was going on I walked in on him smoking at 2.5 gram blunt. I feel like you're lying, though. Where?

See how he was acting on the fire escape? Why wouldn't he just admit to that? I don't know. I think he's like, doesn't want to be seen as a weed guy. He was fried. With who? Just by himself? Just by himself.

He's a dick. He's an addict. Yeah, he's a fucking. You know, you should talk to him about it. He's a real stoner, man. He's a real stoner. I don't think I could smoke a 2. He's an addict. Yeah, he's a fucking... Maybe we should talk to him about it. He's a real stoner, man. He's a real stoner. I don't think I could smoke a 2.5 to the face. That'd be a fucking...

Honestly, though, like, good for him. He's not yelling around the office today. He's chilled out. He's taking his Thursday. That's true. Everyone needs that. That's true. He's very chill.

I texted... I wanted to try to have Frank and Tico have a one-on-one conversation. That would have been dope. I didn't see the text until after she left. I was out of my phone. I don't know how long they could go. Just catching up on the weekend. That would have been dope as fuck.

I didn't see Frank's titties on the New York Post. No. Sad to say. Maybe next time. Someday, for sure. And that's when enough. That's such a sick flex flex when she was just like you see my titties on the post yeah and that she's she's like no no i sent it in like that's they

were like asking for a photo for reference and she's like um how about this one can we see the stolen goods yeah she's like how about these goods yeah She's an absolute legend. Shout out to Tico, Texas. And shout out to all you guys. We'll be back tomorrow for another Yak. Thanks, guys. Cheers. Thank you. It's your drug, yeah, style, it's game for a while, it's the act. It's the act.

It's the act. That's time to start shopping, do a Yankees pop, it's the act. It's the act. Bye.