The Yak - Case Race Day: The Most Chaotic Show In The History Of The Yak | The Yak 4-15-22

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sasquatch. Happy birthday to you. Hey! Harry Settle. It's been 21 years.

It's been a while. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro, whoa. Whoa. Bro, that's too hot. Roan's fucked up. Roan drank 12 beers before we started. Turn off the lights. That's an interesting tactic.

All right. We're here. Turn off the lights. It's time. The case race. An idea birthed out of, it was actually at the bank when we did the at the bank shoot. Roan, Sass, and i were driving back and we're like dude we should do a case race that was like six months ago now it's what 10 days after

your birthday and we're here what's today thursday thursday it's friday it's friday i don't like you it's friday It's Friday again. Noiseless? Noisemakers? Yeah, they're noiseless noisemakers. They're just makers. Okay, welcome in. Steven, do you have something you have to say? No.

You did. You literally just told me before we started. It was like every hour we have to say this. And I was like, no, you say it. And then we're here and you didn't even say it. Okay. Yep, you're right. I thought you were talking about something else.

Do not. What? Nothing at all. Do not try this at home. Everyone here is 21 and over and a consenting adult. Do not try this at home. We are trained professionals. Also, the rule is, we'll get through all the rules, but the number one rule is if you puke, you're out.

There's no redemption this is even if you go puke during a bathroom break you can't come back in because we're not going to have that it's fucking come back in no you can come back in and hang okay I'm saying like if you go and puke in the bathroom without anyone seeing you have to

you can't you can't keep drinking if you heave you leave if you heave you leave what if we tip you righteous? It works every time. Oh, and I had to preemptively tip our face painter because no one was giving her money. She's staying at his. What time is it now? 8.30 almost.

Dude, she rocked. She was awesome. Is she still here? She wouldn't give me Gautier. They don't make brown face paint anymore. That would be funny if she just hung out. No, she told me that when I went in there that she was just going to, like, bill us and you can add it to the list. Perfect.

Fun fact about her, her sister's a psychic. Whoa. Yeah. What a power cop. Fun fact about that she's the psychic for the widow of. Yeah, I wasn't going to say that because she was like, don't say that. Oh, all right. Never mind.

Who? Of who? Bill. Let me hear. I want to hear. Ultimate Warrior's widow. Yeah, he finished a sentence. I didn't. Yeah. KB, what is your face paint? What is your, like, theme?. Who? Of who? Bill. Let me hear. I want to hear. Ultimate Warrior's Widow. Yeah, he finished a sentence. I didn't.

KB, what is your face paint? What is your theme? What did you ask for? So, originally, I came with a different garment on. I'll know that for a fact. So, I told her to match the garment, something that would correlate with the garment I was wearing. And give us clues, because walk us through the face paint. Give us clues so they could guess what your shirt was.

I spent, it's nostalgic in the same vein as a Furby. Dude, the makeup looks so much better. It hits close to home. In the same vein as a Beanie Baby. It's nostalgic to that era. A little later. A couple, two years later. It's nostalgic to that era.

Y2K Yeah Around that time Or the Subway series Yep What could that be? Yep Okay And that was your shirt

And so she did that face paint to mask Clinton was president? In the Olympics Clinton type shit? Bush Oh Bush Oh Bush Bush year

Oh okay This is weird that we're here at night. Yeah. I know. I like it. I feel like such a fucking devious man right now. Office is ours. Warrior.

All right, should we get started? Should we say the rules? Let's do all the rules. Say all the rules. Let's spin the wheel. Yeah. This could be disaster. This could be horrible.

This could be the worst possible wheel spin of our lifetime. If we spin the wheel, we should keep our faces out of the shower. I really think that we should try and keep the makeup. I think a runny face. Oh, but the face isn't even. For the second hour. Let's just obey the wheel. Obey the wheel.

Because the last thing we want to do is have karma against us. What did you just say? What the fuck did you just say? I know what the wheel is. I'm saying what is this specific wheel? What the fuck did you just say? I know what the wheel is, Big Cat. I'm saying what is this specific wheel? What the fuck did you just say? I don't know what the wheel is, Big Cat. I'm saying what is this specific wheel?

What if we get food? I feel like I'm out on a lot of details here. Oh, yeah, all right. We'll go through all the details. Let's spin the wheel, though, first. This has nothing to do with the case race. More for the show. Oh, that's an extra piss break is on there.

We did add a piss break. And how do we determine that if it does land on that? Do we democratically decide that it's time for a piss break? Yeah, there'll be a a piss break And how do we determine that if it does land on that Do we democratically decide That it's time for a piss break Or should we spin a wheel to say We all have to go at once When I'm drunk my dick gets tiny I know

I'm in competitor mode I have athlete's dick Go Oh fuck Oh no We're good Jesus Christ We have fresh paint

Fresh paint on our face Alright Wheel is just Up wheel Can we Do we do it now Or halfway No no no

Oh we do it Let's start drinking Yeah let's get drunk Get drunk So we can really slap each other Yeah we'll do it during My heart is pounding. I'm, like, nervous for this.

I'm really charged up. Can I just take the slap? I just want to take it. No. Well, no, that's not how it works. There's a chance that will happen. This is actually good. We all rack it up.

I feel out of the loop. This is very good, too, because TJ, like, the booth has 30 beers. They have less because they have to work. TJ now has to make another wheel. That was disastrous for him. He was like, I'm going to be able to drink, but if I have to make wheels. TJ now has to make another wheel. That was disastrous for him. He was like, I'm going to be able to drink, but if I have to make wheels, but we're doing a slap wheel. I have a question.

If things get too hairy, Stefan is right behind me in case he has to take the wheel. What happens if someone cheats? Well, I think death. Yeah. Death or a butt chug. Probably both. Let's just, No one please cheat

Let's have fun and not cheat I don't trust that Roan said that You can never trust a pumpkin An old wives tale The pumpkin's over here I'm worried Stefan's going to dip into their beers back there Stefan looks thirsty as hell

Alright so I trust Steven more than anyone in the world. He can't cheat, except when he cheats on his wife. Hello. What the fuck was that about? Whoa. Oh, bro, we were in LA.

Imagine when Big Cat has more than zero. We're at zero beers right now. Wait, I'll spill some secrets. I'm sorry, Steven. That was just too much. I set myself up. Don't worry. If I'm being honest, I could never cheat on any partner I was with.

My penis wouldn't work. Oh. Wait, really? You tried? No. You tried multiple times? That's the worst. You tried multiple times?

What an overcorrection. What do you mean? What a good man. I have a conscience. That's the only reason you can't. Get to the point of your soft dick rubbing on a pussy. You're trying to jam it in like a wet noodle? No.

What an alibi. No. Honey, I couldn't get hard. You couldn't get hard. I tried. Don't worry, I tried. I tried. I was with her.

She was naked. That was Prince Andrew saying he's not a pedophile because he can't sweat. All right. I mean, you get what I'm saying. I'm a good intention person. I would never do that to my wife. I love her. Bet.

We will get a very hot woman in here. We will bet you with that. We could get you hard. Yeah, we'll get you hard. Yeah, we will. We will. No, I've got great boner control now. Ow.

Ow. Damn it. We haven't even started. Jesus Christ. All right, TJ, are you making the slap wheel bracket? Fuck. Let's start drinking. Let's just do that at halftime.

We didn't even say all the rules yet. We're spinning every hour. Yeah, we are spinning every hour. All right, so the rules. 24 beers in each cooler, 30 in the booth. Owen has non-alcoholic beer. All beer will be drank out of the cups No shotgunning

Nothing like that Every team gets one timeout So how the timeout works is You can't leave this room And that booth Under any circumstances that isn't a timeout So if you have to pee, you have to wait for a timeout When you call a timeout, it's a two minute

If you're the team that calls a timeout, everyone else has to stop drinking, but you can keep drinking. Whoa. Got it? Wait, wait, wait. You say that again? I missed the last part, too. If there's a timeout.

Call a timeout. Everyone else has to stop drinking except the team that called a timeout. They can continue to drink. Okay. So there's a little bit of strategy involved where if you call a timeout, do you go to the bathroom or do you try to drink more than everyone while they take a break what are you laughing i can't see where you're looking oh it looks ridiculous i looked ridiculous when i had my gigantic twin towers why why is it a skeleton face with the twin tower shirt that was That was her. It was a tense moment in the studio.

It was reminiscent of when I have to tell my son he can't bring all his toys to school. You were right. I'm glad you made me take it off. You can't bring that to the case race. I could not have worn that. So everyone understands the timeout? You get one timeout. That's it.

You can't piss unless it's under timeout. It's strategy. No chugging. Yes, chugging. What about waters? You can drink waters. Can we get some waters? Yeah, Spider can get us waters.

I'll grab a few. Yeah, grab us some waters before we start. There's snacks as well. So you can eat snacks. You can drink waters. Oh, hey, Owen. Will you grab a tin off my desk too? A full one.

Going to be a long show. I need that, just in case. I know. I'd rather run a marathon, I think. All right, so other rules. Oh, these boys are already going for the six. Smoke us out, them. Literally.

That's not going to help. No, that's not. When someone hits 24. I just bite it for the look. I don't light it. When a team hits 24 or the booth hits 30, that is the end of the competition. The two teams with the least amount of beers left will then have to play trivia. Wait, wait, wait.

It's hefty low. So we're not just going to end when the first team hits 24? No, that's what I said. But then you said when the booth hits 30. Oh, or if they hit 30. Or if they hit 30. My bad. So whenever someone hits 24, the booth hits 30,

the competition is over. The last two teams with the least, or sorry, the two teams with the most amount of beer left then go to a trivia competition with Jeff D. Lowe. This is like one of those rainbow parties where the girls put on different colored lipstick. I'm not going to throw a sig yet.

I will later. That's the seat. That's the target. Okay. The losing team of the trivia, there are ten slices of Burger King sundae pie that they have to finish and then

the show will be over. I thought it was eight. I looked at it. They're very small. Oh, man. Okay. Kyle, are you already drunk? This is bad, yeah.

All right, so anything else? Oh, yeah, yeah. So Dana can win the competition. He can also lose it. He can be one of the losers if when someone hits 24, he has not reached 17. Yes. Deal.

So that is if Dana has 17, he can't lose. Love it. Because you're a vibes guy. You're here for vibes. Yes. You're almost guaranteed to lose with that. No, he's going to drink 17. I feel like he won't lose

I'll have at least 17 He's thinking he's gonna win the whole thing We'll see Alright the only other thing is you can't show the can So just make sure you throw it out Let's all fill up one beer Before we start officially Anything else?

Are you gonna ceremoniously chug it in our faces? No Maybe we wanna stagger it so we can keep talking. No. What? Oh, this. Yeah. Look at this.

Oh. Titties on ice? We put a perfect set on our cooler. Come on. Only other. Wait. It's on ice. That's funny.

Look at that. Oh, man. Oh, no. What the fuck? You never handled that? Oh, man. Oh, no. What the fuck? You never handled that? I thought you were getting the joker. You got the jokester. Steven, you're telling me you wouldn't get hard?

Look at these. Steve will get hard. He'll slide his dick in between them. Oh, fuck. I need a bottle opener. Oh, go get it. You got one. You got one?

I got a lot out. A lot out? Oh, only other thing is announce when you finished a beer, just so that way we know no one's cheating. I have a scoreboard right here. Dana just hummed that thing. Oh, look at this. Oh, TJ's got the scoreboard.

God damn, TJ. Wow. Remember when Shay was on the sticks? That was stupid. Tash, you want to pour your beer? The yellow ring around each person's heads will indicate the timeouts, if they have a timeout or not. I don't want you to have to get up every time.

That's a nice ring. Good. This is already so much beer. Yeah. This is going to be a lot of fun, boys. Where do we discard all the cans? Trash right next to you. The trash bag at your feet. We already got one on.

We already got one on. On camera? Yep. Anybody feel like they're wasting their college degree? Some of us don't have them. The birthday boy. This is in honor of You would have been doing this if you were in college

No, not at all Sass wouldn't? No, we're doing this for Sass What if we all puke? Does it cancel out? Sass didn't have a college experience So this is why we're doing this And next year we'll do it again Thanks guys

Oh yeah, that's the only other thing. The loser also, we said this on Thursday's show, but the losing team will end up on the wheel every single day with the amount of beers that they haven't finished. Difference between them. Difference. And they don't get off the wheel for a year. Wait, we're doing two?

That's bullshit, bro. I saw him do it. I mean, yeah, that's, there's not, we can't two? That's bullshit, bro. I saw him do it. I mean, yeah, that's... We can't have rules. That's why I know. Oh, I know. I'm going to do two. I'm going to set up two.

Me too. Me too. Me too. No, I'm going to do it as well. Not me. Should we make a rule that you can only have more than two at a time poured? Yeah, the me too movement. Yeah, yeah.

All right. So you can only have two glasses poured at a time on your table. Is that fair? Baby bowl. Come on. And announce every time you finish a beer so TJ can. I can't wait for slap wheel. Who's in?

Because there's. Everyone. There's ten of us. So that means that we're going to have to. Plan game? Either a plan or two first-round buys. Zah and KB are champions, yeah? Yeah, they get buys.

Zah and KB get buys. Let's go. KB. What was the shirt you put on after the 9-11 shirt? It was a swastika. I was scouring the desks. It was a chain smoker It was mine

Nice ass coolers Very nice coolers Yeah these are awesome Went over to ask Reddit to see what I should drink to prevent me from getting drunk And they said oatmeal so I've only had oatmeal today See how that works You drank it though? Oatmeal?

What do you mean drank? It was like a I'm trying to drink I've only had oatmeal today. I broke an eight. It'll be good. Eating's probably good. I wish I ate. There's also more birthday supplies in that bag in front of Sass.

I saw you eating a sandwich, Sass. I saw you eating a sandwich. What do you mean by that? Split one. What do you mean by that, TJ? Oh, um... Literally more birthday parties. Last rule.

I hate being a rule guy, but there's a riff rule. That's a gentleman's rule. Yeah. So you got to be conversing, involved, not just. Oh, yeah. It's a riff. Keep up the bants. Keep up the banter.

Fuck yeah. Um. Okay. Birthday. Do we have any like actual birthday supplies? Should we do. No. Happy birthday.

Let's hear the truth. Should we do happy birthday one more time? No, no, no. Let's get some. Happy birthday. Should we do happy birthday one more time? No, no, no. Let's get some. Happy birthday to you. Adulting. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sasquatch.

Happy birthday to you All right. Ready? Woo! Everyone got it? Everyone got the rules? I love you guys. All right, let's do it.

Three, two, one. You guys tomorrow. One. Let's go. All right, let's banter. All right. If things get too hairy, settle down. Oh, the temperature.

I'm not chugging. I didn't chug. Dana's chugging. He's not bantering. Dana, what did you do? Oh, that's a yug. That was a yug, bro.. I'm not chugging. I didn't chug. Dana's chugging. He's not bantering. Dana. That's a yug. That was a yug, bro. You can't interrupt my yug.

We won't remember. Fuck, he is right. I'll never forget. At what point is this going to suck? I would say beer. Now, right now. It's too cold. Yeah, it's temperature on these are awful.

I need to warm it between my thighs. So we're just going to have to have a nice leisurely show. Yeah, we forgot that drinking, we have to still talk. We have to talk. We have to do the show. I'm already hammered. One. I'm going to put the shirt on after five.

Oh, you're not. Yeah, I am. And if you win this, it'll be talked about for five years. It'll go down. Trust me. I've been thinking about it all day. This is great. Not all day, all week.

If you win, if you beat all the teams. It would be one of the most momentous occasions in the world. What an upset. I know. One for TJ. One for Sass and Big Cat. Oh, damn. I'm going to have to do this standing up.

I'm like nervous. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't stand up? No, you can't. What if I talk in the mic? No, you can stand. No, standing's not a riff. It throws the vibes out. That's not a riff. It throws

the vibe down. That's a position of power. Yeah, they're really cold. Should we have a no burping into the mic rule? Definitely. Because I already did it. Oh, and are you done with your first? Oh, shit. Two for boot team. I knew all of them was going to do it.

Shoot has two done. KB, are you Owen was gonna do it Oh let's go Hey B are you not gonna do it? No I'm playing to win We'll see I was deciding whether or not to get 12 or 18 zips You have very wet lips I got 12 but I don't wanna

Oh fuck yeah I don't wanna touch my face Oh you only got 12 This is fun guys Are we having fun? So should we like throw a movie on? No, we should get the slap wheel going. Yeah, we should. No, we have a lot of time.

Already? I don't know. Dana's already got two down. Wait, what? All right. Okay. Ronan and Nick won. Ronan and Nick, two.

Oh, shit. I guess I'm speeding up. Though we're going a little more casually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hero ball going on. Yeah. Booth total at three. All right. All little more casually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hero ball going on. Yeah. Booth total at three. All right.

All right. Everybody, riff, riff, riff, riff. I haven't heard a word back there. We're trying to riff. Oh, my God. They're not working. Yeah, get on the wheel. Get on the wheel.

Get on the wheel. Get on the wheel. Get on the wheel. Get on the bracket. I don't see them back there. You poor. Boys, we need an alliance in here. We need to ask them to pull shit up.

Yeah, we need the bracket. We need the bracket. This handicap was fucked because I think riffing's going to be more than building wheels. No, TJ's got to get the bracket up. TJ, get the bracket up. TJ, keep them working. TJ's going to put up numbies, I think. TJ's about to put up numbies.

You got to keep them working. No, TJ just finished six. Oh, my God, dude. What? Are they at six? No. I mean, if they start blowing us out, we'll just make them do a king. I'm not worried. You guys are at two? Oh, man, I got No. I mean, if they start blowing us out, we'll just make them do a king. I'm not worried.

You guys are at two? Oh, man, I got to... I've had two. Big Cat and Sass are at two. Two by Big Cat, zero by Sass. Owen and KB are at two, so change that to zero. You're at two? Yeah.

Stop drinking your beers, TJ. All right, boys. Can we pace this? This is going to be a nightmare. It's a case race. I might have oversold myself a little. Tommy hurts. I'm going to have to go hero.

I'm going to have to go fucking ultimate warrior. Especially against Dana, who is... Yeah. Thank God you deleted Reddit today, Sass. Three. Here we go. Three? No, there are three total.

Four. We all fools. Yeah, this is dumb. All right, Booth has to do 12 a man. 36. He has to do 12 a man. This is ridiculous. Oh, it's hero ball.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. Good strategy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. You guys are like, oh, they're almost done.

Now you have to do, yeah, how was that decision? I think it's because they're standing up. Good move. Standing up does help. Yeah. Yo, Danny, you're almost done. Now you have to do, yeah, how was that decision? I think it's because they're standing up. Good move. Standing up does help. Yeah. No, Dana, you can't stand up. Why not? You've got to talk.

You've got to talk. You have to riff. You've got to riff. You can't riff standing. You can riff. You want me to sit? Yes. Sit.

Final way to riff standing. Imagine if the LeBron James barbershop show they were standing. Let's be fucking gentlemen about this. We're at three. We're at three. Sass is finished. Oh, they're slacking back there. Oh, TJ. Yeah, TJ's slacking. Oh my god, look at his eyes. TJ's slacking. He's fucked up. If they do their work, they can do 30, but they gotta get the slap wheel going in the bracket.

Three. How do we do the bracket again? Three seed. Okay, so this is for... Wait, how are we going to do play-ins, buys? KB and Czar won before, so they get the buys. All right, so this is for... Let's just do it straight up, 50-50. Let's do a 50-50. Yeah.

Each one. You called it with land on slap. I want somebody to slap the pain off my face. Oh, it's going to be so much fun to slap the fuck out of each other. Yeah, it will. Good rony. Perfect. Billy Football came and gave us a bunch of powdered yeast.

He said it doesn't get you drunk. Yeah, so we are yeasted up. Say it out loud, Daniel. I said it like a minute ago. That's like the one silver lining of doing this. You get to get drunk. That's the only thing I do want. I don't want.

Guys, may as well be drinking this. Just make a bracket. Just make a. Oh, no, actually do it random. You're right. So that will be. Big Cat versus. Yeah, let's do it that way.

This is me versus someone. TJ, I have three. I don't want to get drunk. TJ, I have three. TJ, come on. Three. TJ, come on, dude. You got to help him.

Yeah, TJ. Is all my shit coming off? No, you're good. TJ, come on, three. TJ, come on, dude. You got to help him. Yeah, TJ. Is all my shit coming off? No, you're good. My lips feel really weird. Oh, TJ, let's go. Me versus TJ. My teeth. It's a rematch.

Yeah. Y'all numb? Revenge game. I understand, homie. Big Cat Sass 4. Big Cat Sass 4. Just as an aside, Big Cat 3, Sass 1. I'm not doing that to, like, neg you, but, like, I just want to...

Feels like it. I want to motivate you. It's my birthday, dude. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I said I didn't even want them ice cold. I have them out here, right here. I'm kidding.

I'm trying to play into this. All right, this already sucks. Ian has all of his out of the cooler. Yeah, that's called strategy. Yeah. That's what I was trying to silently say to you. Old beers suck to drink. Yeah, the cold is the worst part.

I mean, they're awesome to drink, not to chug them, though. Yeah, that's what I meant. And I can't look at you. You guys have to stop chugging. That's not sustainable. I know. Five for the booth. Dude, I said no chugging.

I tried to say no chugging, and no one had my back. I think we might need a little bit of a wrinkle. No, we're good. The only thing that's holding us together is the fact that Big Hat's chugging, so we probably shouldn't. We're fine. You boys gotugging. We're fine. You boys got to chill. We're like five minutes in.

Yeah. Like a three-hour show. What is this for? That's slapping. Sass is slapping Owen. Joker on Joker. No, these are against the one and two seats. Oh, okay.

That's against Zah, and then... Every case race starts like this, by the way, boys. Everyone goes really fast, and then we're going to slow down because we're going to get drunk and full. What if you're already drunk and full from one and a half? Seriously, though. Yeah. Seriously, though.

Is there a drinking game we can do? Yeah, we should do it. I'm down. Did you just take a drink game we can do? We should do. I'm down. Did you just take a drink? We can do. He's fucked up already. Four. I am.

I don't know why your eyeballs are so funny to me. Dude, the makeup looks way better in the cameras. I look like a movie quality joker right now. If Dana beats us, this is going to be embarrassing. Yeah. He would be beer guy for life. I am beer guy. He is.

Oh, yeah, I guess he is beer guy. Brought you for vibes. He's just going to kick our ass. It would be more embarrassing if he lost. You're bringing the vibe down, if anything. TJ, we're at three. I'm going to take a break. KB, have you finished one yet?

He's about to About to Four Damn what are Ronan and Nick at? Two Yikes Dana where are you at? Four

Four? Yeah Damn I'm not worried about Dana Cause he's not gonna finish 17 beers I mean dude He might Brother

He's on pace Ronan and Nick They're gonna die going to finish 17 beers. I mean, dude, he might. Brother. He's on pace. Ronan and Nick are going to die. 24 is not going to happen. 24 is going to be very hard. I haven't seen you stop drinking and pouring beer. It's a marathon, brother. Ronan and Nick, 4. If you hit 24, are you going to go for 30?

I'll polish this one up. If you hit 24, are you going to go for 30? No, I think that's alcohol poisoning. 30. Dana, don't you literally have a picture of you with 28? Yeah, that was over like a 12-hour day, though.

Beast. Beast. What else should we talk about? Oh, we should do the slap wheel. No, save that. Let's just talk. Okay. I made a prep sheet.

Oh, you did? Yeah, it should have been on the... We have the wrestling match, too, that we can watch. Let's save that, too. Let's do some questions. Drunk fodder. What is your favorite memory from drinking? You guys want to talk politics?

Yeah. Yeah. Trump's going to win in 2024. Well, once he gets his Twitter account back. As VP. That would be hilarious. Van Pelt? No, Trump's running as VP.

I love how these are the first four. I love how the- You said SVP. I was like, is he right? He's not going to run. I love how the first three questions are like, what's the most drunk you've ever been? What's your favorite drinking memory? Yeah, let's do that.

And then the fourth one is just, what's your greatest fear? Let's talk drinking memory. Dying alone. Dana, when did you, were you in high school, were you a good beer drinker? Yeah, when did you find out that you were a beast? When did you start compensating? Probably, I started drinking when I was like 16. Five for me and the cat.

I never really knew I was a beer guy until I was about 22, though. Six for me and the cat. Six for us. What were you before that? Like liquor? Like a mixie guy. You were a mixie guy. Yeah.

I thought we were doing no burps in the mic. That one was bad. Directly in the mic. Directly in the mic. Directly in the mic. My bad. Really? Never once. First time I got drunk drinking was the first night I kicked a 12.

What do you mean? Kicking a 12 was a phrase. Finishing a 12 pack by yourself. Oh. You were probably what? Me and my friends went out to try and kick 12s. We were like 12. You were like 12 and my friends Went out to try And kick 12s We were like 12 You were like 12

90 pounds Yeah You probably almost Died that night Yeah But I came home 12 years deep And I did not

Remember But my mom I didn't remember Who isn't cutting to Owen Cut to Owen Like why are you on Big Pat right now What is going on in there

He's not working He's not working He's hammered Owen's telling a long, beautiful story. He's delivering a monologue. And he was fucking all on the entire time. TJ's fucked up. TJ, how many have you had already?

I'm fucked up. He's just focusing on his own self. That was his third. Focus up, TJ. Seriously, don't. This show is going to suck. It's going to suck so bad, dude. This show is going gonna suck Across the board

We need like a sober person In here to kind of like Seven for the win Go with Cause yeah We need someone To guide the conversation Oh I can see Che's

I can see Che's movements Over there And I can tell He doesn't look good He's already drunk He's waving Wait a minute We need to do

He doesn't know We need to ask somebody It looks like he's We need to hear the game Of the story Is there a security guard Here 24-7 He's waving at the wind. He doesn't know. It looks like he's going to have a party. Is there a security guard here 24-7? No. Okay, I want somebody to give us a sobriety checkpoint eventually. That would be great.

I would like that. I'll just sleep here. I came home and it was bunko night. Every mom in my town was at the dining room table. What's bunko night? It's like a bingo type thing. How old were you? Like 13. the dining room table. It's a bongo night. It's like a roll dice type thing. No way. It's a how old were you?

Like 13. He once slept in an abandoned house in Charleston, South Carolina because I was so fucked up. That was fun.

Slept on a marsh. Broke into a frat that was like decommissioned or I don't know what you call that. Why were you in Charleston? I was at a bachelor party.

We were staying out. Have you ever been to Charleston? I was at a bachelor party. We were staying out. Have you ever been to Charleston? There's like the islands. So we were staying like an hour out. It was a big slave port, KB. You would appreciate that. We were staying an hour outside of Charleston. We went into Charleston, like went out all night.

And then it was pre-Uber. So it was like 3 in the morning. And we were just at the bar, and we're like, fuck, everyone left, and then we just found a house, and we broke the window and slept in there. I've never been this cold. That's why DUI's pre-Uber should be pardoned. Yeah?

Yeah. Nothing made more sense. I've never... I thought you were... What do you want me to do? I've never been so cold in my life. It was... It was...

It was... Okay, they're already at 8. They're one third... Who's at 8. They're one third of the way there. It was December and it was before Uber. It was 35 degrees. Just talking to the mic. I'm trying to tell a story. Chase, look at me going like this.

He's going like this. It was 35 degrees and I've never, I've woke up and my teeth were chattering. I was laying on a floor. That's fucked. Was there anything on, like, what, was it cold? It was 35 degrees, and I've never, I've woke up and my teeth were chattering. I was laying on a floor. That's fucked. Was there anything on, like, what, was it cold? It was 35 degrees. Jesus, you should be dead.

Inside the house, it was, there was no heat. Obviously, this is abandoned. How old were you? 24? 25? So you were in college? Or no, you just graduated. Outside, yeah.

I have a rule that I don't do shots out, like, when we're out and stuff and stoolies are like hey you want a shot i always say no because in 2014 usa russia remember the tj oshi game that was like 7 a.m rescuing puppies we did a fucking watch party at decklands in old town chicago it was packed it was the funnest watch party ever. I drank an entire bottle of what was that fucking liquor? Rumpelmintz? Old Schlager? No, that became like very... Jagermeister? Not SoCo. Fuck.

It was like very hot in the streets for... Fireball? Fireball. I was right when Fireball hit the streets. I still take Fireball. Yeah, I know, but it was like 2014 was literally when it hit the streets. Yeah. Fireball. It was a national.

Wasn't there a rumor that it was like formaldehyde in it? Yeah, so I went, I left in the bar at noon. So we've been drinking since 6 a.m. And I fell in the street and I was just laying in the middle of the street. Wait, what? This is when you were at Barstool? Yeah. You were lifeless on the street?

This is like one of the most legendary parties. Like, Stoolies... You were a big cat on the street. Chicago Stoolies will remember this party because it was one of the funnest times everyone was just shit-faced at 8 a.m. watching T.J. Oshie take penalty shots or whatever the fuck they're called.

Incredible. And I got peeled off the ground, and I was like, I will never take shots at a party again. I went home. I put Stella's collar on to take her out. Next thing I know, I woke up. It was seven hours later, and her collar was on. She was just sleeping next to me.

2014. Now, compare your popularity in the bar store, or for anybody, compare it to someone who works here now. Yeah. What do you mean? Now compare your popularity in the bar store For anybody Compare it to someone who works here now Yeah What do you mean? How popular were you? If you could like

Just pass out on the streets Then you weren't How many Twitter followers did you have? And then who has that many followers? I was If you passed out on the street right now Like face down People would be like

Big Cat? That would be That's bad How much did they make? There are like Yo is that Big Cat? That would be oh that's bad. How much did they make? There are like Yo is that Big Cat? There are like 300

250 Chicago stoolies that were at that party that will know what I'm talking about knowing that that was one of the Did you get clowned?

Did you get like pictures of him? No it was I'm like trying to think of who would be here. Gaz? We should have had Gaz in here.

Maybe like Jake Marsh? You were at his level? Yeah, like it wasn't, it was like starting to become a thing, but it wasn't. Big head, I have a pretty... So did you pop off like quick? Did you pop off along with like Clean Bandit?

No, it was a slow rise. It was Clean Bandit. You remember Clean Bandit? Who the fuck is Clean Bandit? I think he popped off at the same exact pace as Clean Bandit. Yeah. Who is Clean Bandit? Remember Clean Bandit? Who the fuck is Clean Bandit? I think he popped off at the same exact pace as Clean Bandit. Yeah. Who's Clean Bandit? Who the fuck is Clean Bandit?

Who? Did they do Rather Be, KB? Rather Be. By the way, I'm drunk and full. I'm hammered. Who's Clean Bandit? This is bad. Because we didn't fucking eat.

Why didn't we eat? This is where it's... You had a sub. This is where it's going to be bad. I had half a sub. That was all I've eaten today. Half a sub is still a sub. it's gonna be bad i'll say this sit down your head's cheating i'll say this about that party i'll say this about that party that was probably the last time that it was like i felt like barstool was still like a very small inside joke and anyone who's at that party it was one of the funnest times ever because it was like we weren't that big of a deal but we were big enough deal to pack a bar at 7 a.m yeah it's probably like the majority

of stoolies were at the bar yeah god damn was that fun it was so much fucking right i've seen the video of your uh going away party that was fun too yeah chuck showed me a video you were at a it was at a illinois bar oh yeah that was that was fucking fun too that was when too yeah chuck showed me a video you were at a it was at a illinois bar oh yeah that was that was fucking fun too that was when i did a um the man on the street no that was uh yeah you guys were playing neighbors to the yeah neighbors to the um like two years ago no neighbors to the movie i got we got we signed a promo deal and my like part of the ad deal was i literally went to a bar in illinois and played beer pong with mclovin dave franco oh shit it's someone else and it was that that was, there it is. Look how skinny I am. Jesus Christ.

Wait, I want to know how much we're drinking each. Six. That was crazy. Wait, what year is this? 2014, I want to say. No. May 2014. May 2014, and it was, that was also back in the day, remember I talked about the, like,

if I had a bad weekend gambling. You look so young. We threw a party that night that I got paid like two grand cash. You look so young. Are you about to suck him off, Seth? No, but he does. He was saying, yeah, you just look younger. You're a little skinnier.

Look at him now. I was also 21 when I understood the passage. I was 28, 29. Fuck you guys. Damn. Shit passage. I was 28, 29. Fuck you guys. Damn. Shit sucks. That was a good time. Wait, this was pre-churning deal?

Way pre-churning deal. But that's a, neighbors is a churning franchise, right? I remember when the churning deal happened. Yeah, there's McLovin. I was like, oh, that's him? I worked there one day. Yeah, Dave Franco McLovin. That's hilarious.

Kept on calling me McLovin. I called him McLovin and he called me Wildcat because I think he was like still in that phase. He doesn't like being called that. He didn't like

being called McLovin. It's like Justin Platt's Thomas or something. I mean it's Justin Platt's I don't know.

Christopher Mintz Platt. Christopher Mintz Platt. Ben Mintz. That was right at the tail end of doing CrossFit.

I have that same blouse or the flannel. Was that Chitty Bang on the left or Gerard Carmichael? He was in the movie too. I can'tannel. Was that Chitty Bang on the left or Gerard Carmichael? He was in the movie, too. I can't remember.

Chitty Bang has a facial defect. What is it? It's like a three-dimensional. It's like Cordell Stewart. Can you get back to that weight? You got to go outside to smoke it, though. Is that cool? I was probably.

Really? Yeah, yeah. I was probably 40. Step outside the room and just go vaping in here. 40 pounds. 40 pounds. 40 pounds. 40 pounds? But you got to go outside.

It was 205 right there. This is going to... I guarantee you within 20 minutes, this is going to end up being everyone's having individual conversations. Yeah, it is. No one... I'm already regretting this. No one is going to be talking to each other.

You said... I'm already regretting this. You said this morning, by four beers, you're going to regret it. No. I have drank four. Have you? Yes, you've had two. Just don't chug and get sick.

We're riffing. I'm having a great time. Yeah, this is nice. Yeah, it was memory lane. When was the last time you guys mooned somebody? Oh, mooning was the best. I never mooned. I never mooned.

What are you guys doing? You know what I did do? It's the moon. I never missed one. What do you got in a bag? You know what I did do? It's fucking hilarious. When I was in high school, we went to do poop in the bag, light on fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my friend- Where'd you get those snacks? They're boxed. Oh, yeah.

We didn't know that you used- Have you guys ever done that? Plain. Yes. You used dog shit? Nick, you have not done that. I did. And Marie Reynolds. Poop dollar's the best. What? And Marie Reynolds. ever done that? Playing. Yes. Use dog shit? Nick, you have not done that. I did. Anne-Marie Reynolds.

Poop dollar's the best. What? Anne-Marie Reynolds. You did that? And I stole her. You didn't shit yourself. You would never. It wasn't my shit.

Was it dog shit or was it your shit? No, it was my buddy Cleveland's shit. The show was brought to you by pretzel chips? It was my buddy Cleveland's shit. It was her sweet 16 and we also stole her cake and her dog that she got for her sweet 16. That's funny. How would you do that to someone after you had a poop in your pants the first day of No, no, this was before.

TJ, can you look up scores for me? Let me finish this order. It's funny. Can you look up some scores for me? He shits. Scores? Yeah, so you're letting this shit on fire. One of my friends, he shits in a bag, right?

First of all, shit out of water smells insanely bad. No bad. Water changes it a lot more than you'd expect. Was it like Mischief Night or Veterans Day or something? No, no. It was just a random day. We thought it would be fun. Can I tell you something real quick? No, no. Let me just finish the story real quick. No, this is about shit out of water. Have I told the story? No. No. It's shit out of water.

We're already acting like we're wasted. I am drunk. I'm about to finish five. I have to... Oh, shit. Stop.. I am drunk. I'm about to finish five. Oh, shit. Stop. Chill. Tomorrow morning, I'm starting potty training for my son. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm going to have to deal with shit at a while. Oh, shit. Let me know if you need anything. Yep. Thank you, KB. I was in the moment where I looked. Baby shit is cute. No, but I looked at you. I looked at you face painted.

Baby shit you look at and you giggle. I'm five beers drinking deep. We're doing a fucking case race, and I'm like, oh, tomorrow morning, and I looked at myself. Maybe shit you look at and you giggle. I'm five beers drinking deep. We're doing a fucking case race, and I'm like, oh, tomorrow morning, I'm going to have a two-and-a-half-year-old that I'm going to have to try to fucking bribe with M&Ms. Yeah, that sucks. It's a life check right there. All right, go ahead. Sorry.

Throw the Cheerios in the toilet and have them piss on them. Yeah. Basically, the end of the story is we forgot about the shit, and his mom found it. His mom opened the bag and there was a human shit inside of it she fucking dude she would be upstairs and she'd be like he probably wouldn't care if I said this. Say full name. Say full name.

At no point did you say his name until then. The next part of the story is I remember we would be sitting up in his room and all of a sudden we'd just hear, hey, Jackson. And then he would go downstairs and he'd get screamed at by his mom. And then I think when she found the shit, that one was like deal breaker. I think we got like kicked out of the house or something. Yeah. But yeah, all time story. Wasn't there a yak? I liked it.

I liked it. It would have been a better story if I didn't get cut off halfway through. No, that was shit. Out of water is the worst. Ten minutes until the punchline. I think we've talked about this on the yak before. It should be. Is there a way to make a turd smell forever?

That was a good story. Or, like, if you had a turd, it would eventually lose its stink, right? Yeah. Finish it. No, no, no. Is there a way you could preserve it? Yes, yes, it would. One second.

If you rinse it every morning, could you make a turd smell forever? Seven for us. Have you ever had it? Do you have dogs? Yeah. You had dogs growing up? Yeah. Where did they poop?

Outside. Did you just leave the poop, did you scoop up the poop? We had a big backyard We left the poop My job when I was growing up Not my job, my chore We've always had like two dogs at one time And I always had to go around with a shovel

And scoop up the poop Dude, you could not scoop up the poop For like two months straight And the poop will always smell. Poop stinks forever. No, I like that story. There'll be flies buzzing around it. Getting in trouble as a kid.

Hold on. Can someone find the cart? I have the brewers. Where's the brewers? No. If it was in the sun, yes. Okay, I won. I could get a fossilized cart and put it out in the sun, yes. I'd be under. Okay, I won. I could get a fossilized turd and put it out in the sun.

I have the pubs over. Okay, maybe I'm... Yeah, you might be right, because now I'm thinking about it, in the winter, they didn't always smell. Okay. Okay. Three in the first, you're good.

It'd be frozen. Don't say that. Yeah, frozen. I know, I know. My bad. Frozen turds don't smell. I have the Marlins. We're at eight, by the way.

Wait, what is spider about? Oh, we're at eight. We're at eight. Are those revitalites? By the way, that was a good story. That was a good story, Sass. I'm sorry that I said that. I don't care.

Most of my stories are how they are. No, I like that story. As a kid, getting in trouble in that type of way is an all-time moment where you're like, holy fuck. It's worse because I was like a junior in high school. Like a parent finding a bag of shit? It's pretty funny, yeah. It's ridiculous.

If you want me to interject for a second, I just want to say thank you to Vitalite sponsoring the stream. What? They are? Yeah, they're the best. Hell yes! Let's go! Last minute.

Yeah! Vitalite! Really get in the mic. Get on the mic. They were concerned you guys wouldn't be hydrated tomorrow So they wanted to make sure everyone's in good health That's a misconception you drink this That's incredible way to go MB

Shout out MB He got that at the last second Let's roll that Revitalite commercial Crazy that Stas putting in the Revitalite ad Wow I'm away from drinking I'm so happy that Revitalite did this because I would not have taken any of these home. Now I'm taking them all home.

Yep. And it's crazy because stoolies don't know when that Revitalite ad hits, we all walk away with, what, $30,000 cash? So me and KB were in the ad. We pulled in a band. Wait. Wait. Seven, seven.

Can I say something real quick? You guys should have gotten more than that. I hate the way you said we. I got a band. You tag along. You did not get a couple bands. Stephen Jay got it. You had no speaking roles.

I had way more roles than you. What? You didn't? The bathtub scene. Maybe your roles passed out in the bathtub. Maybe your roles were just licking your lips. You don't even have a beer in front of you, Seth. TJ, TJ.

Yeah, get me another beer. We're done with six? Same amount. This is significantly harder than I thought it would be. It sucks, dude. I said this during the show. I was like, I have one memory of doing a case race, like when I was maybe a sophomore in college.

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. And I remember vividly sitting there. Oh, come on. Starting it. You better pour than harder than I thought it would be. And I remember vividly sitting there. Oh, come on. Starting it. You better pour than that. Very pumped up. Yes. And then the minute we started, and then like maybe 30 minutes in.

Puke. Like, this sucks. I'm having a blast. Why are we doing this? I'm hanging out with my boys. I'm on beer four. I like the stories. Dana, drunkest you've ever been.

Oh, all right. Hold on. Before you answer that, Stephen Che got a hotel room. I think we should all sleep there tonight. Yeah, let's do it. That would be so much fun. We should all sleep in Stephen Che's bed. I think I'm sleeping in this room.

I'll sleep there. All right, go ahead, Dana. No joke, Che. If I have, like, 17 beers, I think I need to sleep on his couch because I don't know. My couch is mine. There's not a couch in his New York hotel room. It'll be more of a futon. It's awesome.

Don't sleep in our apartment. So why not? Dukes is gone. I fucked up. I should have got a hotel suite for us. Can I call dibs on Dukes? Can we rent out

like the penthouse? Spider. Yeah, get Spider. You want to? Spider will get it for you. I'll get it. I'll do my credit card. We'll get a hotel suite

at the closest hotel. That would be sick. But isn't the closest hotel like the Penn Station Hotel? That's closed for us. There's a double tree. There's a double tree around here. There's a double tree into a women's shelter post. One of the dumbest things I ever did was when I got COVID.

When you got COVID, you did that. I got COVID. I was like, oh, fuck. I can't go home. I got kids. I walked to the closest hotel, I was like, oh, fuck. I can't go home. I got kids. I walked to the closest hotel, which was one right next to Madison Square Garden, and just stayed there for a week, and it was the worst hotel in the world. That hotel looks terrible.

It was prison. I went to prison. I know what it's like. Have you ever seen what the Sweden prisons look like? They're beautiful. They're amazing. They're better than my apartment. That's what everyone compares to dorm rooms in America.

All right, Dave, answer the question. Nick, I can't. Two years. Dr They're better than my apartment. That's what everyone compares to dorm rooms in America and departments. David, answer the question. Drunkest I've ever been? You look crazy. I was getting flashbacks when I can't talk. After David answers his question, I think we should start slapping. No, I'm not doing this.

I don't want to slap. No, but just slap. I just read out the bracket and the bracket is juicy. Hit me with it. Hey, happy birthday to Tim Hitchens. Happy birthday. Well, yesterday when this airs, but yes, today. Wait, your dad's birthday?

65th birthday. Tim. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Tim Minchin. Happy birthday to you. He'll appreciate that way more than you understand. Dude, I love Tim Minchin.

Steven, what are you saying, Steven? Can we get a Che check? Yeah, Che just had a side piece. He's wobbling. Guys, I have a crazy idea. Let's get Tim Barstool Idol. I don't have a beer review guy. Dana's trying to cuck him out of beer at home.

I love Tim Hitchens because he's a fucking loser. He used for Rutgers. He's a loser. He always chirps me on Twitter. He, like, calls me a pussy. Tina, that's the best part. If you've ever seen Tim Hitchens just sits in his fucking garage and roots for Rutgers, he's a loser. What the fuck is this?

Whip his ass. Yo, whip his ass. Change the bracket. TJ, you're slapping Brickhead. I'm up against him on the slap wheel. It's coming with full force. Listen, all I'm going to say is if Tim Hitchens is a true stoolie, he'd love that I said that.

I'm going to say that right now because the guy's a fucking loser. He now makes up our entire 65-plus yak demographic. Wow. But TJ, am I not wrong? He sits in his fucking garage, drinks beer, and watches Rutgers lose. That's fucked up. That's my father. You mean, am I not wrong?

I'm not agreeing with you. I knew we'd eventually get to this point. Fuck, he's not going to agree with you? We're less than an hour in. You better frame this. I say that, Tim Hitchens, I say that with all love. Did you mark that one up? What?

Yeah. 11 for the booth, by the way. I say that. Tim Hitchens is an all-time stoolie. He's an all-time stoolie. If he doesn't take that as a compliment, he's not an all-time stoolie. That's ball busting. That's just Big Ten

ball busting. I want an older gentleman in Barstow Idol. He tells it like it is, too. Oh, dude, he's got a great look. If he hates you, he'll tell you. Oh, he's got a great look. Does he hate you? I think he does. Like, one day, he'll be like, great tweet, and then the next day, he'll be like, this sucked.

Yeah, I've had him muted on Twitter for a while, just so I don't have to deal with it. What? Out of love. He's very blunt. Great tweet, and then the next day I'd be like, this sucked. Yeah, I've had him muted on Twitter for a while just so I don't have to deal with it. Out of love. Out of love. He's very blunt. His handlebar mustache. He's got a handlebar mustache, right? Yeah, he's had a mustache since he met my mom.

I promise you he's only said nothing but great things, Dad. What a turn it took for TJ's dad. His handlebar mustache is a boss. My parents have been married for 25 years. She's never seen him without a mustache. Wow. I love it. I love it.

Try something new. He's still a loser. Please. I hope you slap the shit out of my boy right now. Dana, you look like you're a character out of American Horror Story. TJ, you know I'm sorry. I'm only saying this because of Rutgers. As a person, he's not a loser. You've turned to the positive on Rutgers in recent years.

That's true. You used to be, because of he will not be spoken of, a huge hater of Rutgers. I hope I've turned you around a little bit. Yeah, no, you have a little. LeGrand? Who is he? LeGrand's the boy. I hate LeGrand. You hated LeGrand. I hope I've turned you around. Yeah, no, you have a little. Legrand? Who is he?

I hate Legrand. I hate that fucking guy. What? You don't know Legrand? What is wrong with you? Why would you hate him? I'm not allowed to. We have someone who looks like him. Yes, boss. Buccaneers legend,

Eric Legrand. His dad? If I know Tim Hitchens. His dad? If I know Tim Hitchens like I think I do, what I said about him, he will love. No, he's going to beat their family. I hope he does. You think so? The White Sox game with the father-son My mom's from Brooklyn. She'll kick your ass. And I guess he's not

as much of a stoolie as I thought because ball busting is what we do. Zoom in on Big Cat. Tell him it's on site next time. Yeah, listen. Zoom in here. Come here. Pull him up. Hey, Tim Hitchens. Bro,

I hope you buy one of those coins because I'll kiss the fuck out of you. Oh, fuck. I will kiss you to death, Tim Hitchens. Don't kiss my boy Deb. Kiss to death. I will kiss Tim Hitchens to death Hitchens. Don't kiss my boys, Dad. Kiss to death? I will kiss Tim Hitchens to death. Should I? A little behind the scenes, Big Cat texted us in the Yak group chat,

and he said, guys, if you see somebody with a coin and don't kiss them, it will be bad. Yeah. No, we got to kiss the boys with the coins. That's a fireable offense. Anybody who has a coin? Yes. And they show you, you have to.

It's a free Yak kiss. I got it, TJ. Hopefully some honeys by the coins. I'm going to have to go when Wisconsin plays Rutgers in football, I'm going to have to come to your garage. I will get you

and my dad a suite at the Rutgers stadium. Alright, done. Give me a real reading. Tim Hitchens will love that I called him a loser. He takes everything with a grain of salt. He's a real stool. He's a fucking bonafide stool. You're going to kiss him, too.

I'm going to kiss the fuck out of him. He's about to get the tongue of my voice, Dad. Shout out to that guy for fucking my mom, for real. Way too far. Have another one, you lush, TJ. You too far. Have another one, you lush. You're fucking lush. Trombom, you lush. He ran hit game late.

12 for the boot. Yeah, he was 40. And I'm an only child. It was one and done for the boy. Let's go. That's my goal in life. And you said two? One child?

No. Conceive at 40. Conceive at 40. Conceive at 40. I want to be real with you, boys. I'm sucking on those plastic titties by the end of the night. Here we go. I'm sucking them plastic nipples. Show me them.

Give me them. Give me them. Guys, I'm loving this. I'm loving every second. You know what would help? No. I'm wearing a giant button-up shirt right now. Ah. You know what? Guys, I'm loving this. I'm loving every second. You know what would help? No. A giant button-up shirt right now. Yeah.

I'm going to get that on me. No one's called the time out. We're going to have to watch this over. Like, Quigs is going to be watching this. We're just going to have to throw a big-ass, like, black shirt over it. KB. KB. Just his face is showing.

Kyle's just a black sense. Quiggs is here. I know Quiggs is watching right now. Quiggs is in the room. Oh, Quiggs. What up? I got to say right now. Oh, my God.

He just held up a notepad with like a thousand notes on it. It's the bracket. We got someone at the door waving us down. Quiggs is the greatest. None of us can leave. We can't get food door waving us down. Quigs is the greatest. None of us can leave. We can't get it. You order food? You can't.

You can't. You can't. Spider will get it. Who's that pipsqueak? Get that person in here, by the way. Bring him in. Bring him in. How's everyone's piss levels?

I'm okay. Anyone? A little bit. A little bit. I'm almost there. Can we get Quigs on the mic real quick? Quigs is the fucking... I honestly...

What's up? I'm going to say this, and maybe it's because I'm drunk. I got something to say. It's definitely because you're drunk. I've drank six and Sass has drank two. That's not... I'm literally about to finish four. Three.

You're about to finish three. Yeah, look at the math. I just finished six. Nine. Nine for us. Ten for us. Ten for us. Ten. All right.

Stefan, get him in here. I was going to say Quigs. No bullshit. Should we tell the guy we're all really fucked up, like we might need a ride home? Wait, get the guy in here. Delivery, dude. Can we all hop on the bike, dude? Yeah, let's all hop on.

Do you have pegs? Dude, like, it's bad. Like, we're really drunk. All right, continue. Quigs is nervous what you're going to say, so. Oh, Quigs, you're going to have to wait. Quigs, this isn't just because we're drunk, but we fucking love you, bro. Fucking love you.

Oh, you're my fucking boy, Quigs. I'm not just saying this. What's your name? Oh, what's your name? Talk in the mic. Talk in the mic. Yeah. Hi, amigos.

Hi. How are you? What's your name? My name is Bernardino. Bernardino. Two chain wallets. Two chain wallets, yeah? Yes.

Two chain wallets. Yes,ets Yeah Yes Two chain wallets Yes brother Yes Alright Bro you doing okay Thank you for the pizza You doing good Yep thank you

You need a beer I need a beer You want a beer Stefan Stefan Go get my wallet off the desk Yeah let's pay him Give him 20

I got you 20 Alright thank you Yeah of course Thank you Bertino Bertino We love you, dude. God, get him on the slap wheel.

Get him on the slap wheel. We should do every episode like this. Guys, we should start a fucking podcast. Let's become alcoholics. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't let him leave, Spider. We got to start a fucking podcast. Okay, well, you drinking all the time is the best. Why don't you yas me?

Give it to me. Give it to me. You pick the 20. It can't be just any 20. Oh, it can't be any 20. Piss on it really quick. I don't know what I have on my wallet. Piss 20.

Fucking give him 100. Yeah. I had 100 in there. Let's go. That man 100. Fucking give it 200. Give it 200. Give him 1,000.

1,000. 200. Woo-hoo. Get away. Give him a thousand! Yeah! Yeah! 200! Woohoo! I'm going away! More, more, more! More! Oh. Man, fucking 20. Give him 220!

60! Give him 300! Woohoo! Yeah! 400! That's 400! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let-hoo! 400! That's 400!

Let's go! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! That's 400, bro! Ern, Dean, this must be how Mr. Beast feels. That was awesome. Definitely how Mr. Beast feels every day of his life. That's 400! Oh, fuck. Get more cash. Get more cash. Get out more cash. That's 400. Oh, fuck.

Get more cash. Get out more cash. That was amazing. I'm crying. I feel like we're in Wolf of Wall Street right now. I'm not going anywhere. Be like David Dobrik.

That was awesome. That was so much fun. I'm filled with life right now. You just gave me $400. Oh, yeah. Wait, wait. Did that guy get $400? $400.

Literally life-changing. $400. That's crazy. That was unreal. I don't have any more money, though. I don't have any more cash. I don't either. I spent it all on my Twin Towers shirt that I can't even wear.

That's asking me a couple of times. I spent $911 on this shirt. Thank God I don't have. I spent it all on my Twin Towers shirt that I can't even wear. That's asking me a couple of questions. I spent $911 on that shirt. They got it. I don't have any more cash. I would literally give away thousands of dollars. You were about to. You were about to. I was about to cut you off.

TJ, seven. I would literally give away thousands of dollars. Oh, my God. What a moment. $400. What a moment. I had trouble counting. I had five 20s. I had trouble counting I had 520s

I had trouble counting Alright so what else to say about Quigs You are literally crying Your eyes are shimmering I'm back That was like the best I've ever felt We did nothing

Bernadino's the man Next to someone who was getting away money That's the nicest thing sass has ever done Are you rich? Oh, I won $500 at the casino in Morgantown the other I'm lucky. I had in my wallet ever since after those stand-up shows this week. Sheesh. My man. I quit. I'm crying. Oh, him. I was going to say, dude, I gave him $200.

You gave him $200. What are you doing? No, no, no. I won $500 on roulette. Yeah, Dana, you were just coughing up money. That was karma, bro. I know. Good for Bernardino.

I was on real. He just made that guy's week. That was awesome. I love that guy. He's probably like, those fucking idiots. I wish I had more money on me right now. We're in Facebook. Give it all away.

Give it all away. Realistically, what would be the limit that you would give away right there? I don't know how. Let's get more people. Come here. Have Hank pull out some cash. Go get Hank and get some money. Can I step out outside real quick to tell Spider?

No. No. No. I have $300 bills. No. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No.

Hold on. Let me finish. No. You have to put a piece of tape over the head of your dick. Let me finish. No. Can I step out? Can I step out to tell Spider?

No. You have to tape your dick. I'm literally going to tell Spider my PIN number to see how much money I have that I can get cash for the next guy. I have $300 bills. You have to tape your dick. Just talk at the door. Just keep your feet in the room.

There's no reason to fucking leave. You have to tape your dick. Out, out, out, out, out, out. He's out of the room. He should be out of the phone. And I'm his teammate, and I feel ashamed. I'm about to push him out. Yo, I'm sorry about that story

before you were trying to tell him. Oh, yeah. So I'm in. So the kid shits, right? I have hundreds. push him out. Yo, I'm sorry about that story before you were trying to tell me. Oh, yeah. So I'm in. So the kid shits, right? I have hundreds. And it smells. You didn't say it smells. You didn't say it smells.

You got to say it's out of water. No, you got to say it's out of water. So this shit is nasty, right? You didn't tell us. You got diarrhea in the bag. You didn't say that shit, dog. This bag is oozing with liquid poop. Say it less.

Spider, don't take out as much as he's telling you, spider spider spider. Don't take out as much better to take out Let's have a non try it they're maxing out the account What if we don't we're not gonna get no 13 we'll have to order any wings. Please increase our score. I've had at least four. No, you haven't. You haven't. Oh, yes, we have. Yes, I have. No, you haven't.

No, you have not. After each one. He asked for eight, like five minutes ago. I've had, how many have you had? He just asked for eight. Okay, three. So we're at seven. Count your trash.

Count your trash. I've had three. This is my fourth. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Let's grab those. Yeah, grab your cash. Now we're good. Now we're good.

I want to give away all my money. I have a couple hundred dollar bills if you want them. I think you could pivot into being a dough brick. I think that you could give away all my money. Yeah, that was exhilarating. Most exhilarating. Just spider my fucking card

to go get more money. How much? How much? Bring out... Back up the brakes? I told him to just bring out Back up the bricks. I think you can only take out like a thousand. Yeah, that'll be enough for now. That's life-changing money.

What? You don't know what I could do. Bernardinho! I was so happy. That was awesome. Hey, Quigs. Yeah, that would be life-changing in the sense that I'd have a decent time for two hours at Conner's. Are these beers too warm now, Sass? What's up?

Are these beers too warm? DJ, we're done with that. I need them warm. What do I have to do today? All right. Have a blast. What'd you say, Yard? Quigs is the greatest fucking human alive.

I just want to say this real quick. Stay on the mic there for a couple more hours. DJ, I just finished another nine. I think it's nine. I just want to say this real quick. Stay on the mic there for a couple more hours. I just finished another nine. I think it's nine. I just want to say this real quick. Quigs. Bro, don't do this to us. I did this to you. I'm not joking when I say this. What I wanted to say before. I got something to say. Provide a light challenge.

That's our sponsor, dude. Don't do that to our sponsor. Keep them on there. You can't do that. That's how the anus boys act. That's not how you act. Put them back on. I think they turned my mic You can't do that. That's how the anus boys act. That's not how you do that. Put him back on. Hey, now. Put him back on.

Look at your face. I think they turned my mic down. Quigs is the greatest. Real close. I'm not even fucking around. Quigs might be the most important person at Barstool Sports. Yep. All right, Quigs.

I have a question. Is anybody sober back there? I'd like to hear a sober person's perspective. I've had like four. Does this fucking suck? No. I think it's great. I would say that Quiggs is the most talented person

at Barstool. Yes! Other than you, Seth. Oh, I think he is. I hate when boys get drunk and start like... Yeah, yeah. We're going to enter it. It's not something we talked about. We talked about this recently. No, because Quiggs does a lot of shit for the act that people don't know about. He does.

He does. He does. Who's the other guy who does a lot of shit? The video of... Garrett. Garrett does like the thumbnails are awesome. Garrett crushes it. And Max is going to be helping out.

And thank you to Max. And I want to shout out my fucking mom, dude. Just fucking cover her. No, no, no, no, no. Dad. That's too much. I wouldn't be anywhere without my dad. Oh, look, no, no, no, no. That's too much. I wouldn't be anywhere without my dad. Oh, this is a win.

We didn't get to tip anybody. Three light beers be hitting crazy. What do they be putting in there? Tell Spider not to go to the bank for me. Big Cat, I'm going to need you to FaceTime my ex. Let's do it. Oh, man, that would work. You know that would work.

Yeah, she loves Ultimate Warrior Big Cat Bro we've all been there One of those nights Where you have a couple Too many Couple too many

Gotta have Big Cat FaceTime your ex Just tell her she made A big mistake By the way we're only An hour in For fucking No that means that we need to

Spin the wheel again We should slap We're not even an hour in We should slap We are we are We're about We again. We should slap. We're not even an hour in. We should slap. We are. We are. We're about four minutes away. We should slap.

We gotta slap. We gotta slap. I have to pee bad. No. We're not calling our time out. We're not calling our time out. We're not calling our time out. The floodgates are opening.

Zoom in on me, TJ, real quick. I fucking love quigs. I hope people, I hope people, we should encourage people to drink. What? Yeah. Stop there. Word, word. I feel like this will be more funny if you're along with us

you know what I mean they're gonna be at work 11 maybe they should pause off Saturday morning wait for a power hour 11 the cat is on 7

the ass is on 4 boys in the booth 8 for for Nick and Adam 14 for Booth what the fuck the guy didn't come in Booth. What the fuck? The guy didn't come in.

Booth might have to go all the way. Who's Adam? You? Sorry to say, bro. You said that wasn't your name. Dude, my bad, Harv. Back to the question. Dana, when was the most drunkest you've ever been?

Yeah, yeah. All right. Still on that first. And we did not pitch. Took a little bit of a... It feels like a Grateful Dead concert where it's like, we just did a fucking jam. We did a quick pitch. Now we're back to the song. Yeah, here we go.

I know it's sad to say because I'm 29 years old, but probably like a month ago. No, we were expecting something in the recent... No, no, but I don't get as fucked up as I did this one night. It was at. As you did a month ago? It was the waste management. That's not the past. It was the waste management.

I was wearing this jersey, and it was a bad scene because it was all Barstool people everywhere. And as you know, people offer you a lot of drinks. It was bad. You're famous. Nick, you know that, Nick? I don't. I don't at all. I had a guy come up to me at a bar.

It was similar. Oh, my bad. No, no, no. And he was just like, dude, you have it made because you have the easiest job in the world and you're just like so irrelevant at Barstool that you're not going to get bombarded like Big Cat.

And I was like, yeah, I guess you're right. What? Yeah, he said it to me. Dude, I can like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, That would be fucking miserable. I would fall off the face of the earth. He said be more famous than he is. You're saying that if you were as famous as Big Cat is, you think that it would be miserable for you. You're actively making decisions to become more famous. Also, you guys are going to be a way bigger deal than me in fucking five years.

Not even close. Absolutely. We've seen the numbers. We will never be there. Absolutely. We've seen the numbers. No, I'm going to... We will never be there. Ever. Stop doing what I'm doing and you guys are fucking funnier than me and you're going to all surprise. Yes. Part of my take is so big.

And we're in that phase of the night where I'm like, your podcast is better. I feel like we're at the 4 a.m. This is a 4 a.m. patio talk. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, PMT is a monster. Are we in my mom's bathroom? I'm confident.

Let's get Dave's ass in here. He does owe us two appearances. Yeah, he does. You want to get the phone, I'll FaceTime him. Can you FaceTime Dave just so I can see? I got to thank Dave. This will be bad. Dana, you do it. Yes, I'm Dave. Dana, you do it. FaceTime Dave just so I can see Dave? I got to thank Dave. This will be bad. Dana, you do it.

Yes. Dana, you do it. Spin the wheel. I don't hear you. Spin the wheel. No, no, no. Spin the wheel for who has to talk to Dave. Yes, yes.

Voluntary decision. No, spin the wheel to see who has to FaceTime. I would love to call him. Yeah, spin to FaceTime Dave. Spin to FaceTime Dave. That's the funniest thing ever. Spinning for who has to FaceTime Dave. FaceTime Dave.

Spin to see who has to FaceTime Dave. I feel like Dave. Does Dave get drunk or no? We'll put it on this one. FaceTime Dave. I feel like Dave gets drunker now. Parties? It parties. Parties. Not like me, though. We're going to spin it. FaceTime him.

Just be like, hey, I'm just calling to say thank you. I do think you are funnier when you're drunk, though. Oh, yeah, 100%. I also, I can't. That's why I don't. So I get invited to do spots at the stand and stuff and, like, all these places. And I can't do them during the week because I'm like, I can't. I can't do stand-up unless I'm, like, blackout drunk.

Oh, really? Which is a huge career, bro. It was set, bro. And then some people, they just make that their lifestyle. Oh, yeah, no. Every single one of them. Every stand-up. I remember I was talking to Shane Gillis at the stand, and I was like...

All right, all right. Hi. Yeah, yeah. The guy who got canceled? Shit, aight. And I was like, yeah, man, I can't wait till I can go up there without having like 10 beers. And he was like, yeah, me too. And I was like, oh.

He's been doing this for like fucking 15 years. But that's my story. Let's keep it rolling. Then he grabbed you and he was like, don't worry, you're much funnier than me. Yeah. I was there. Yeah, it was sick.

This is to FaceTime Dave. Yeah, this is spinning wheel. He wants to FaceTime Dave from Big Cat's phone. I would love to do that. He would never answer. No, no, no, no, no. From your phone? I don't have Dave's number.

He would never answer it. I will give you his number. What happened to no phones? I will give you his number. I'm the Joker, baby. But I think he'll only pick up if it's you. No. Yeah, he wouldn't pick it up from me.

No, you got to FaceTime him from your own phone. I would. I'll do it right now. If you FaceTime him, I think it's like something bad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. I've never FaceTimed him. Straight up never.

First off, don't FaceTime ever. Ever. Never FaceTime me unless it was a very preconceived agreement. Or if you're showing your pussy. Oh, dead ass. Or if you're showing your pussy. Unless I'm about to virtually suck on them titties. I don't want to see that face.

You know who does FaceTime? May he rest in peace. On the yak. Caleb. Caleb's a big FaceTime. I don't know why my mind went to Robin Williams. No, I miss that dude. Yeah, I usually FaceTime with him.

He would always FaceTime. My mind instantly went to Robin Williams. You thought it was Robin Williams. Like, oh, yo, chill, bro. It's too soon. I never FaceTime. My mind was. Until he went to Robin Williams. He thought it was Robin Williams. Like, oh, yo, chill, bro. It's too soon. I never FaceTime. Not even Dwayne. Boys, I think we just got a rack.

Yeah. I've never held one. I've never held one before. Operation Iraqi Freedom. What? Say it. Say it. Get it off, Owen, because you've been quiet.

I think one of the more invasive things we've ever done on this show is show people how we are when we're drunk. That's super personal, I think. And Owen, I think we're finding out that you're pretty quiet, so I want to hear what you're about to say. I got nothing. You're about to say something. They'll be shy. Don't say it.

Look at yourself in the eye. Well, we were... I have a rules question. Oh, fuck, man. Yeah. If someone takes a timeout, is everyone allowed to piss? Yes. That'd be nice.

You got to go? It's a two-minute... I'm just... Nine. Timeout. Nine for the boys. It's a two-minute timeout. We're about to hit 12.

The person who calls a timeout can drink while everyone else has to stop. Let's go, Sass. I'm very confident in beating Sass and Dan. We're going to go 12. I'm thinking they're going to fizzle out very soon. What the fuck? I'm casually drinking. The booth is going to crumble, I feel like.

Yeah, the booth is going to crumble. No, no. Shut the fuck up, Dan. Oh! I think the booth is going to crumble. Hey, we're halfway there. Booth is good. I'm worried about them.

I think they're going to win. Now I'm going to put where I just don't want to lose. If the Booth wins, though, it's lost. Who's FaceTiming Dave? Let's go. We're at nine. Nobody's eaten the pizza yet. Fifteen.

The Booth was meant to be like, we'll let you guys. I think the Booth has to drink 36. Yeah. DJ. The Booth wasn't supposed to be right. You're going to go to the goal post? Uh-huh. Yes, we move them right away.

This isn't a reason. Ah, fuck it. I don't know. Classic run, dude. You're trolling. No, fine. If the booth can fucking win, who cares? Bro, you're a crumb bomb.

What the fuck? Hey. Because guess what? If the booth wins before Dana gets to 17, that's awesome. You should be really pissed. I'm actually very nervous about that. We should actually be.

You can lose. You're on two guys. Wait, do they have to get to 30? We should be fine with the boys doing 30. Yeah. I got out of Dave's doghouse yesterday.

I would really prefer this not to land on me. All right. This is for who has to face this. Dude, someone sent me that. I will quit. TJ, someone sent me

that video of Dave's dog. This is so brutal. Why do I feel like this is awful? No! No! So just. So just. I just got out of Dave's dog house yesterday.

Oh, wow. I'm so fucking happy. I'm crying. I'm crying. Right back into the doghouse. I'm crying. Oh, no. I'm crying.

You have his number, TJ? Yeah. Should I come in there? You got to decide what to say. Yeah, come in here. No, no, he can stay in there. No, he should just be himself. He should just be like, dude, I'm with you at the wheel.

He's not going to answer. No, well. He definitely doesn't have my number. No, he's not going to answer. Oh, he hasn't left yet. He's probably packing. He's probably doing a haul review. Before the wheel started, TJ goes, this is the one thing I really don't want.

We have a slap wheel. I love you guys. This is the fucking best show ever. Where's my phone? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this?

Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? Do we do this? He overdosed. He overdosed on good, good heroin. I was going to say we put his kids in college. Jesus Christ. Shout out Revitalize.

Two chain wallets. You are twisted. Two chain wallets is so many. Get a mic. Get a mic. I love that guy. Wait, guys, I got a big problem. You have to pee. I have to pee.

Oh, no, we're not using our time out. Oh, we're not using our time out. So bad. Tonight, TJ had to hear his dad talk shit on, and now this. My dad is a loser. I'll pee in the trash can. I'm calling my dad a loser. Yeah, I feel bad for him.

I fucking love his dad. That should never have to be a sentence a man says. Stop calling my dad a loser. Then you ask him to admit it. What the fuck is that impression? Was that your TJ impression? What the fuck is that? TJ, stop calling my dad a loser.

Hey, you. Look at my sweatshirt. My Elon sweatshirt is the exact same sweatshirt as that. What the fuck? Speaking of sweatshirts, zoom in on my sweatshirt real quick because I've been crying so much. Why were you crying? I'm a loser. Football guys.

I'm crying so much. I'm calling my dad. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rona spilled half a beer. Half a beer? Uh-oh. Half a beer? Half a... Look at this. All right, wait.

He's FaceTiming. Check it out. Check it out. He's FaceTiming. Oh, shh. Oh, I hope he doesn't pick up. I hope he does. I want to talk to him.

No, I don't... I want to keep working with TJ. He's not coming. Can you ask TJ to lower his phone a little bit? I got it. I got it. We got a call from Big Cuts Fun, I think. Oh. What happened? Call rejected. Unavailable. We got a call from Big Cut's phone, I think. What happened?

Call rejected. Unavailable. All right. I got a call from Big Cut. Fine, I'll call him. Okay, say his number. No, you tried. No, you tried.

That counts. Let's do a wheel that involves Sass calling Erica. Let's slap. Yeah. Let's slap. No, let's slap. You tried. You tried.

That counts. We should slap. Jake, congratulations. You tried. No, we want to get. We got to get. I'm not. Let's slap. TJ, you tried. You tried. That counts. Hour in, we should slap. TJ, congratulations. You tried. No. What? We want to get. We got to get.

I'm not. I'm not. Throw in the feature, Dave. Portnoy. No, wait. TJ. Oh, we need it. It's the new YouTube.

I think you should send a text. We're all getting raises. Come on now, boys. I think we should. I think you should send a text. What? Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Send a text.

Send a text. Send a text. Send a text. Can I text you to say 9-1-1? No, no. Wait. Run that back. Run that back. Run that back. Run that back. Sass has a drunk lisp. That was the most lisp. What did I say?

That was the lispiest lisp. It was only S's, whatever you said. Play that back. Play that back. You gotta run that back. Run that back. That was the most incredible phonetic sound I've ever heard. I just said.

Yeah, you just said nothing you hang on hang on Dana hasn't been riffing for a long time. He's changing the subject. No, you just – He's changing the subject. Riff a little. Riff with us. I've been riffing. Riff a little bit with us. I've been laughing my dick and balls off. Oh, riff, riff.

Yeah, you've been laughing, not riffing. Laughing does not count. I have been riffing. Have I not been riffing? No, you haven't. You gave – You haven't even told us – 400 bucks.

No, that was a lot. It's not a riff. No, we split it. Oh, okay. So you're trying to lie. I have been riffing. I've been riffing. Dana, I'll give you 200 bucks.

I've been talking more than Owen and KB. I've been actively talking and you haven't. You haven't said shit. Come out to my boys like that. You haven't said shit. Jump them. Hold on. The one time I tried to talk the story.

Oh, yeah. I tried to give you enough going to paint my pants. I need to hear Sass's lisp. His tongue tore its meniscus. Owen's dead sober. This is so miserable for him. That's a bummer. I can't imagine. 11.

Being around drunk people. It's honestly a bummer. It's a bummer because I thought you guys just like him. What are you doing TJ? I'm just showing the screenshot of Dave Portnoy unavailable. All right, text him and be like, hey. Say 911. No, no, no. He definitely.

I texted him one time. It was Chicago last year. Say this, say this, say this. Okay, I'll type in word for word. Hey, Dave. Hey, Dave. It's TJ. Oh, fuck.

Big cat. Hold on, hold on. No, no, no. Hold on. Hey, Dave, it's Teej. Teej fuck Hold on Hold on Hey Dave it's TJ Hold on No no stop Stop sass

Who's turning my mic back there Turn it off You got that part This is insane Hey Dave it's TJ My dad is a loser That's fucked up Oh no don't text that

That was a joke We're doing The Yak case race. And we need you to call in. And we need you to call in. Say, call this number. Yeah. Itch.

Doing the Yak case race. Yeah. And we'd love for you to call in. Call in bitch at the end. You'd love that, Sass, wouldn't you? Feel free to say a slur. Sass, you'll call anyone a bitch these days. Yeah.

Fuck you. Hey, Dave, it's TJ, and we're doing the Yak case race, and we'd love for you to call it. For about four seconds. Wait, shh. Fuck you guys. Say it again. Hey, Dave, it's TJ. We're doing the Yak case race, and we'd love for you to call it.

Boom. And say call. Call. Call. If you can, call me. Wait, you want to do the number? The phone number to call in so you can all hear him? Yeah.

Don't call him a bitch. If you care. I would throw in a bitch at the end. I think you could throw in a selfie. Should I send a text message saying TJ just texted you? You guys all approve that? That's just something you call people these days. And then a selfie of me?

Yeah. Hey, David, it's TJ. We're doing the... Maybe he'll send a selfie with us in the background. Yeah, send all of us. Maybe like me. All of us. You specifically. Yeah, he'll know. No, send a selfie of you and then a picture of all of us. Hey, David, it's TJ. We're doing the

Yaki's Race and we'd love for you to call in. And call in. And then say, Sass is here, and he wants his money. Bitch. Stop. But,

but, say Sass can't negotiate next week because he's out of town. Uh, yes. Oh, man. Yeah, where the hell are you going? Easy. Sending a text message. To your team. Whoa, man. Yeah, where the hell are you going? Easy. Sending a text message.

To your team. Whoa, phones. Phones. This team is fucked. This team is so fucked. I look like a snake. Yes, dude. I'm pissing my pants actively.

Oh, yeah. I'm sending the terrorist pee coming out of my dick right now. You guys lost. Eat your pies. All right. Hey, Dave. It's TJ. out of my dick right now. You guys lost. Eat your pies. All right. Hey, Dave. It's TJ. We're doing the Yak Game 3, and we'd love for you to call in.

If you can't call in, whatever. It's not live. Sass is here. Wait. No, no, no. Did you send it? Yes. No, double text him.

Double text him and say, again, it's TJ. And then say, Big Cat's here as well. I don't think the sass is going to be the... Sass is going to be... No, I... You did say that. I didn't think the sass is going to be the... You told us... Sass isn't going to... No, I... Who did say that? I didn't. I would never say that.

If I get fired, can you hire me? Yep. I'll hire you. You'll be the son of that intern. Legally bonding. Is it paid? Big Cat, we're taking our time out right now. No, we're not.

I said if you get fired, what? Can you hire me? I'll only hire you if you admit that your dad's a loser. No, don't disown the family. Don't do anything like that. I fucking love TJ. I'm trying to provide for my family. If that's what it takes, I'll do whatever. Wait a minute, no. TJ. I want going to provide for my family. If that's what it takes, I'll do whatever.

Wait a minute, no. TJ. I want him and Barstow Idol. I have a huge shark tattooed on my arm for this show. TJ does. I will guarantee on my life you will not get fired. And if you do, I will make sure that doesn't happen. I almost got fired today and Big Cat saved me.

Hank, cut that part. Guys, I'm looking at the last I'm looking at the last question on the list. Hold on, I have to tell you something. I have to. Our cutting part. Big Cat, don't listen.

Big Cat texted you this morning and he said, I promised Sassy he wouldn't get fired. Yeah. But I have no control over that.

Whatever, I'm fine. That's past. I told him, I was like, yo, I was like, dude, I'm taking that's past I told him I was like yo I was like dude I'm taking care of it Hank's gonna fire Eric on Monday morning

obviously I knew Hank wasn't gonna fire Eric oh no dude he's he's literally he's the president Hank is high up I'm gonna start dropping

he's high up bro I'm gonna drop my boy Hank my boy Hank is gone from fucking that's my thing now I've been doing that forever. I always call people.

How crazy is that? Send me that clip so I can respond to some things too. By the way. Jeez, what is going on? You guys have low, low tolerances. Yeah, this is. Oh, some of us. I just want to read.

I just want to read the last question. 13 for Big Cat and Sass. I don't have a low tolerance, dude. I've had fucking eight beers. Yeah, you guys stop. Chill. I've had eight beers in five hours. I'm trying to be heroes. I don't have a low tolerance, dude. I've had fucking eight beers. Yeah, you guys, stop. Chill. I've had eight beers in five hours. I'm trying to be heroes.

I said four. Yeah, I have a low tolerance, but I won't ever get caught by a YouTube prankster buying beer at 8 a.m. Oh, sorry. I've had... Wait, have I had eight? That was yesterday.

I've had nine? And Sass had four? How many have you had? I've had all my fifth. So, yeah. I've had nine. No, I don't think that's have you had? I've had about my fifth. So, yeah. I've had nine. No, I don't think that's right. We've got to count up the garbage at the end.

All right, I'll count beers. I don't want you finishing more than 12. I want to do all my 12. I count beers. I was going to say, I've known Hank Lockwood since he's been fucking 18 years old, and I love that guy more than life itself. More than Quigs? All right, wait, wait. Can I than life itself. More than Quigs?

Can I read the last question on the prep sheet? Yeah. So it's all, like, serious questions, and the last question on the prep sheet says, do you think Pete actually still can come? Fair question. So, yeah. Dave responded.

It is a good question. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop everything. I'm going to pee right now. I'm calling. Oh, now. I'm calling. Dave said call now? Question mark. I think he's calling right now. We have a call on the line.

We have a call on the line. He is on. The newest member of the Yak, Dave Portnoy. Dave, let me talk to you. Hey, what's up, Dave? What's going on? Hey-o. Can he hear us?

He can hear us. Portnoy, talk to me, Go? What's going on? Hey-o. Can he hear us? He can hear us. Portnoy, talk to me, Goose. Who am I talking to? That was Sask. You're on the act. This is for SaskWatch. Dave, it's Big Cat. Let Sask go.

Hold on, stop. Let me just set the stage. This might be the dumbest thing we've ever done. Yeah. We're doing a case race for Sask's 21st birthday. We spun a wheel to see who had to facetime you tj lost uh so that's why he facetimed you uh yeah i don't obviously i didn't recognize the number so as much yeah i was telling him that i should have texted you because obviously you have my

number saved and would have been a different situation. That was Sass. Yeah. Obviously, I don't have his either. I don't know why. To be honest. How far into the race are you? Deep. We're an hour and 27 minutes. We're an hour and 27 minutes.

Roan and Nick are nine beers in. Myself and Sass are 13 beers in. Owen, who's drinking non-alcoholic myself and Sasser thirteen beers in Owen who's drinking non-alcoholic let's make that 14 KB are nine in Dana's on his own he's eleven beers in

and in the booth which is Stephen Shea TJ and Zars who's on their own Dana Dana's had eleven beers got it

sponsored by Revitalite shout out Revitalite brilliant brilliant stuff yeah thank you Dave when are you coming on when are you going to come on the act Got it Sponsored by Revitalite Shout out Revitalite Brilliant Brilliant stuff Yeah Thank you Dave when are you coming on When are you going to come on the act

There are promises made We need these promises delivered Well I This is the first I Was just asked to come on And I'm on So I guess it does

That's on us That's true You made good points Night work We never asked him Dave Dave how's Miami That's sass It's nice I'm going to You made good points. Night work. We never asked him. Dave, how's Miami?

That's sass. It's nice. I'm going to say. Sass, I thought you were in Colorado. I've been back from Colorado for a minute now. That literally was not a joke. I didn't think that you were back. Oh, no, I've been back.

My depression was cured. Just a couple of quarters. That's good. Nobody likes the press. That's good. It could be a way to beat it. Thank you. It's good. I'm going on vacation tomorrow.

I'm packing. I'm going to St. Parks tomorrow. And Gaz isn't coming? You're going Gaz-less. Yeah, Gaz was kind of a middle school type move by him. He sent his passport, and it expired a year ago. A year ago? Holy fuck.

Yeah, it wasn't even close. It wasn't even close. All right, Dave, I don't want to take up your time, but... I have one more question. All right, Sass... No, no, no, no, no. You've asked too many questions. One of the funniest moments in the Yak in the last, like, month was

Sass came back and Jerry walked in and just deadpan was like, Sass, how was your vacation? And it was like, yeah, that's pretty much what you did. Well, I mean, I get it. I see it when you were, like, skiing and just enjoying yourself, right? Yeah, so, like, what's,'s like the bonus situation for mental health? No, no, no, no. Dave, are you doing like a mental health break right now?

No, listen, I'm one of the few at Barstool who doesn't go into the cuckoo bin. Dave, I actually said that to these guys earlier because we were talking before the the case race i was like i can't imagine what would happen in the milton days if if someone's like i need a two months off to go to colorado and climb some mountains i i would have probably just had like one of those little so we did the the old Milton offices and old doctor's office, a lot of little offices. And I would have just probably made them go see Lewis and one of those

offices, just like deal with him for half an hour, 45 minutes and see how they feel. Let me ask you this. No, no, no, no,

no. Come on. That is Mike. Have you ever been on top of Lincoln? Lincoln Mowan. You ever seen the views up there is Mike. Dave, you ever been on top of Lincoln Mowan? You ever seen the views up there? Lincoln? Oh, it's healing.

It's healing. I'll take you up there one day. I'm not going to make fun of it. It's a real thing, and it's on the rise. Dave, you can make fun of it. It's KB. You can make fun of it. It's fake.

What's a real thing? Depression? Because it ain't. It's fake. No, it's like ADD. It's the younger you are, the more susceptible you are to being depressed. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

That's facts. Dave, Seth, stop talking. Dave, enjoy your vacation. It's all love. We'll leave it with TJ. TJ will send Dave off. Yeah, I just want to say have a great vacation. TJ, congrats on avoiding my hate list. Yes, I just want to say have a great vacation. TJ, congrats on avoiding my hate list.

Yes, I was going to say thank you. Thank you for taking that into consideration. Thank you for calling in and not ignoring my number. And thanks for giving me a life. All right. I'll see you guys. Bye, Dave. We love you, Dave.

See you, Dave. Yeah. Thank you. Yo, Sass about to have the Friday scaries. No, I'm going to pee my pants. The only thing I'm thinking about right now is my bladder is literally about to explode. I love Dave because every conversation I've ever had with him, and I've had a million, always end like that.

Yeah. All right. See you. All right. All right. See you. I had so much more to ask. He's great on the phone. You had more to say. I had so much more to ask. He's great on the phone.

You had more to say? I had so much more to say. Including what? Going to Florida. I was like, I wonder where to go out. Why'd you burn the Lincoln Monument? Wait, when are you going to Florida? That's what it's called.

The Lincoln Mountain. Dude, I'm calling timeout. No. Yes. Do it. No. Call your timeout. Timeout. Timeout on Big Cat and Sass. There's no timeout. No. Your timeout. No. Yes. Do it. No. Call your timeout. Timeout.

Timeout on Big Cat and Sass. There's no timeout. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No can't waste it. I'm the only one who's not going to the bathroom. I'm the only one who's left. I'm going to fucking power through this. I am carrying this team. Sass has done nothing for me.

And I'm fucking carrying this team. 18 for the booth. Are you counting the two minutes? Are you counting the two minutes? Yes, we started. Yeah, for sure. Zoom in on me. I got it.

Boom. That's 15 for us. I'm pretty sure I've done fucking 19. No, I've done nine. And Sass has done five. I am done nine. And Sass has done five. I am dominating this. For everyone who says I'm an old fuck, 37, washed up, father of two, uh-uh. Uh-uh.

I can still drink. I can still drink. You got 15? I got 15. That was the 15th. I can still drink. You got 15? I got 15. That was the 15th. I can still drink. I may be fat. I may be old.

People may say I'm washed up. Not as funny as I used to be. That's fine, bro. I keep grinding. I keep fucking grinding. One minute left. I keep grinding. I keep grinding so hard.

I'll never stop. I keep fucking grinding. I keep grinding. You can't drink. You can't drink, TJ. Only I can drink. I keep grinding. I'll never stop. It's been two minutes.

No, it has not been two minutes. No, it has not. They're keeping the count. 30. My fucking... Nick, get in. I'm insatiable. I'm fucking... I'll never stop. No one can drink. You can't drink. No one can drink. No one can drink. If everybody's not in, what happens? What's the penalty? I'm a guy who'll never stop. No one can drink. You can't drink. No one can drink. No one can drink. If everybody's not in there, what happens?

What's the penalty? I'm a guy who'll never fucking stop. I'll never stop. I'll keep going. You think I fucking quit? I keep going. People are like, oh, big cat, you've lost a step. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll fucking. Are we at two minutes? I'll fucking bury you. What's the time? I will go forever. There goes Garrett. I will watch every game. What's the time? I will go forever. There goes Garrett. I will watch every game that has ever been created when you say, hey, Big Cat, why don't you watch?

Oh, you can't drink! It's two minutes! It's two minutes. When you say, hey, Big Cat, you can't fucking watch this game. You say, oh, why don't you watch this? I'm watching it. I was in way before two minutes. All the time.

Time! All the time. Time! You can drink! You drank illegally! in way before two weeks. All the time. Time. All the time. Time. Time. You drank illegally. You drank illegally. They said it was time. No, you drank illegally.

I heard time. This is our pizza. This is our pizza. Give me my last ten seconds. Everyone stop drinking. Stefan was watching the clock. No, no. Everyone stop drinking.

No, he drank early. Give me ten seconds. We're at ten. Ten seconds to finish my soliloquy. Don't say anything. We're at 10. 10 seconds to finish my soliloquy. Don't say anything. We're at 10. Don't say anything. Wait.

No, no. Start it again. I want to start my soliloquy. When you say, hey, big cat, you're done. You don't know shit. I fucking watch everything. I'm seeing everything. I love to gamble.

I love sports. And no one fucking loves it more than me I fucking love the sports Stay zoomed in Stay zoomed in Big Cat I love you man Give us 10 TJ I'm at 16 Big Cat

The warrior I am the warrior! Oh, Lord. I'm going to fucking pee. Dana, it's time to riff, Dana. Dana, Dana. No, no, no, no, no. You can't go pee.

You can't pee. I said I'm going to puke! I said I'm going to puke! Wait, first off, Assassin Dan lost. 10 for Nick and Roan. 10 for Nick and Roan. Where's TJ on that? 16.

We're at 10. It's been 10 for a minute Right here We're at 10 then There's 10 then TJ I had to call Dave Can you calm down? No That was 5 minutes ago

Oh you don't want to Oh he doesn't want to edit We're at 16 He doesn't want to cut He wants to drink beers This is a live show brother Get with the picture Roan's been trolling all day

Didn't make the Didn't make the graphic Oh you're not even on Nick He's not even on Nick We don't even know Get with the picture. Roan's been trolling all day. Didn't make the graphic. Oh, you're not even on Nick. He's not even on Nick. We don't even know who's talking right now because they can't even cut to Nick. Oh, my God. This fucking guy.

This guy's out of control. I mean, Roan threw a fucking banana peel on the ground earlier. No one saw it. Shout out Revitalite. Shout out Revitalite. Easy. I got two opinions right here. Let's go.

Those pills, what happened? And we are all 21 years old and older. And we're all 21 years old. Hey, Jay. Do not try this at home. Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Jay? Do not try this at home.

And also, if you happen to try this, drink Revitalite. Absolute best. Hel helps with hangovers. Steve, how many have you drank individually? But also, don't try this at home. How many have you drank individually? I don't know. We're a team here, so we're not necessarily individually counting.

Yeah, no, you probably should know. How many have you had? 11. I honestly don't know. 11 for us. Four or five? We're down 18. We all have a beer, and we've got nine left. What would you guess you drank? Five or six? Yeah, there we go. I'm't know. 11 for us. Four or five? We're down 18. We all have a beer, and we've got nine left.

What would you guess you drank? Five or six? Yeah, there we go. I'm on five. Let's go. And I'm going strong. You're not at all. We're doing good.

Team game. Yeah, you guys are the top. You don't know how high I can fly. Can we get a 30-second Owen report of kind of what you're seeing? Yeah, so Owen's sober. Yeah, Owen's sober. Can you break it down, Owen, for a little bit for us?

Yeah, don't tell the truth. Tell the truth, please. Tell me that. 19 for the booth. Who's doing good? Who's doing bad, Owen? Who's doing good outside of drinking beers? How long have we been going?

Superman does good. We've been recording for an hour and 39. How long have we been going? Superman does good. We've been recording for an hour and 39. We still have Slap Wheel, WrestleMania, Contest Thing, and others. Slap Wheel. To be honest, I'll be fully transparent. We should have wheeled again by now. Alright, let's wheel.

Let's slap. We do owe another wheel. We agree to a wheel every hour. I just want to say real quick. What if we get the slap again, though? Don't call my dad in that. Pick out if you say it's another word about my dad. I'm coming in there. I'm not.

Yeah. Yeah, TJ. No. All right, TJ. All right, TJ. Get in here, TJ. We're on the slap wheel together. You better hope it doesn't land on me.

Light him up, TJ. There's something to share with me. What I was going to say. I just want to say one thing about Dave. Shut up. Oh, what I was going to say is. I fucking love you, man. For everyone keeping score at home,

yeah, I'm pretty sure I've drank ten beers. And I said five, six. You guys are both wasted. Yep. I've had 10 beers for anyone who says I don't got it. It's over. Counters count, Big Cat. For anyone who still says I don't got it.

You're fucking 10 years younger than me, Dana. 19. My brand is literally zillion. Alcoholic. No, you're not. No, no, no. We don is literally zillion. Alcoholic. No, you're not. No, no, no. We don't even say that word. I love Dana so much.

Dana to me is like a knight in shining armor. I think you should go by Sir Osis. Of the. I got that. I'm going to take a break from talking. Sir Osis of the Liverpool. Dana. Dana was hired as part of my take intern.

Dana was hired as part of my take intern. Dude, no, but. Fun fact. Fun fact, drinking like Pound and Coors Light, that's. No, no. We got to cut that. I thought about that. You're fucking killing us, bro.

Let's do the second wheel, TJ. Honestly, and I've said this a million times. TJ, pull it up. You as a patriotic skull is the worst. Our collective bad for doing that. Because it'll probably land on dry. You just said he wasn't listening. No, no.

That doesn't mean I wasn't riffing, bro. He was riffing. I will give TJ that. Always is. The riff can. 20 for the booth. Fuck you. Chill out.

You got to do 36 anyway, but they're going to win. I thought that FaceTime went really well. Yeah, it did. You're probably going to get a rip. I don't think it did at all. I think that FaceTime was trash. I don't think Dave liked it at all. There was nothing that went well, but Saz, you are doing a residency in Austin.

What? During what? I'm not. But yeah, there was a banner sign in the city of Austin, which is awesome, that says you're there for like 10 days. No, I'm trying to actually hype you up. That is exciting. It is, yeah. I think the thing that's important to know about Sass's stand-up is that it's just like 10 minutes of material that he just says over and over again.

Yeah. It's not like he minutes of material that he just says over and over again. Yeah. It's not like he's stealing content from anywhere. That's how most stand-up goes. But I'm saying, it's not like you're doing all this different content that you're stealing from

like Barstool. Well, I steal Nick and KB's jokes all the time. Please do, because nobody else will hear them anyway. Please. I listen to Anus and I do notes.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Not at all. We all work at the same company. Exactly. Exactly. It's a cannibalistic world. Do the second wheel. No, do the second wheel.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. It is sacrilegious to do a second wheel if we haven't. All right, let's do the slap then. Let's slap. We're fucking around. No, no, we're being worried right, let's do the slap then. We're fucking around. No, no, we're being weird. I'm worried about the slap. Let's do this wheel and then we'll slap.

Oh, no. What if it lands on slap again? I'm worried about the slap. Do we slap twice or do we slap twice as hard? No, we double slap twice as hard. Right. No, that's exactly right. If it lands on slap again, we slap twice as hard.

By the way, I totally regret not pissing during that piss break. That was a wild move by me. You didn't piss? No, dude. I fucking held. I talked into the mic. I rambled. I made no sense.

I don't know what I said. I'm a joker, baby. I talked about how I wasn't washed up. I don't know. We're good. I don't know. We're good. I just went like this. People who say I'm washed up. People who say I'm washed up.

I'll get there. That was the definition of hubris right there. That was like Wolverine getting circumcised. Shout out to the Reddit boys. I'm going to get to you boys soon. Oh, yeah, yeah. You boys are coming up. Bro, look at my sweatshirt.

Just covered in black. That's a nice ma'am sweatshirt though, available in the store. Shout out Pat and Joey. Oh, shout out. Look at my sweatshirt. It's dirty as hell. I've been crying so much. Pan over to my sweatshirt.

Oh my god, it's so dirty. Yo, can I say something real quick? These are actually nice as fuck. Can I say something real quick? They're not available in the store, so this doesn't do anything. They're not? Yo, say something. I love you guys.

One love. One love. I will say it. I will say it. It makes sense. One love. It makes sense. Owen, the next time we go to you, I want you to tell us what kind of drunk we all are.

For example, Big Cat is a I love you guys drunk type of guy. He's hit several people with that I love you. Break us down, Owen, because I know you're watching. 17. I'm a whatever drunk person that I'm around who is drunk person. You're a chameleon? Those sass steal sentences. What are these guys doing?

They're drinking a Revitalite? I know. What the fuck was that shit? A Revitalite does look good. 14. It's times like these. The most drunk I've ever been. Most drunk I've ever been.

And I'm allowed to say this because I was in Europe. I was 16. Which is legal. That's legal this because I was in Europe. I was 16. Which is legal. That's legal. No, not in Europe. You were way less funny when you were drunk. He was 18. I was 16 when I was in Europe, which is the drinking age there.

For beer, it's 16. Liquor, 18. And I was on a bender for like 12 days. Because I was on a school trip. So you had a beer a night? You were not on a bender. At all. I promise you I was.

At all. I promise you I was. There's no way it was a bender. You were drunk for 12 days? Yes. This is the only time I've been able to legally drink. Dude, ask my chaperone. Dude, ask the chaperone who was there with me.

We called him John Wick. Because he was always sneaky. John Wick. What country were you in or just the entirety of Europe? I was in Italy and France. Okay. And I remember going home and that night I was so fucked up. Oh, shit, bro.

For real? Dead ass. Holy fuck. What was home? A hotel For real? Dead ass. Holy fuck. What was home? A hotel or what? No, where I lived. Hostel? We went like action. Alright, so you made him feel like a moron for you said you went home across the fucking Atlantic Ocean. Shut the fuck up, dumbass.

And I went home. Home. I remember I woke up and I was soaked in sweat. I woke up and I was soaked in sweat And I woke up and my mom was checking my pulse to see if I was alive Oh my god, dude She has Munchausers too And I was like, hey, ma, I'm good

Did you say that to her? That's exactly how it went down You didn't say that to her That's exactly how it went down And that was basically it Mom, I'm sorry You gotta call your mom right now KB, tell us your story No, you gotta call your mom right now I didn't say that to her. That's exactly how it went down. And that was basically it. My little story. You got to call your mom right now.

KB, tell us your story. No, you got to call your mom right now. KB's right. You got to call Brandon. Wait, I got a KB story to bring up. You should call Brandon. That would be awesome. Oh, no. Can we FaceTime Brandon?

Rumor has it that you got booed offstage hosting a twerk competition in Put-in-Bay, Ohio. Yeah, well, I've made that public after it happened. When was this? It was very- Three years ago? Four years ago? That happened. KB. Big Cat, riff, riff. R made that public after it happened. When was this? Three years ago? Four years ago? Did that happen? Riff with us? Riff? I don't feel good. Maybe at Barstool Sports hosting a twerk competition

in Put-in-Bay. What happened? Dana riff? Dana? I really have to piss. I should have pissed with everyone else. It was my first time ever doing anything like that. I told you we should have done unlimited pisses. Not that I'd ever do anything like that. Someone else take a timeout.

No one take a timeout. TJ, we're at 13. You know what, though? I'm good. Yeah, we're definitely good. Just for the record, I've had 11 beers. That's a lot. TJ, we're at 15.

That's a lot. A lot of beers, Big Cat. 11 beers is a lot. Because people said I was washed up. You jumped from 11 to 15? You said I was washed up. Not washed. No, no. I really do think that we should do something. People said I was washed up You said I was washed up No no I really do think We should do something

I really think we should do something where we pass the bag One to the left so we count each other's beers Yeah we could Let's spin the wheel and then let's do a Half time trash count To make sure that we Let's slap Let's spin the wheel

Then do a half time trash count To make sure we we got it right. Let's slap. Show us the slap. Let's slap. Let's slap. Let's slap. Then slap. Then do a halftime trash count to make sure we have the right count. All right, all right, all right. I'm just going to count the beers we have left. This might be atrocious. All right. No, I think people are going to love this show.

Honestly. A lot of people about to get exposed. There's definitely a rule. Wait, wait, Saz. Expose somebody that's not necessarily here right now. Oh, shit. By the way. Can I say something? Oh, I got too many. Wait, Saz, expose somebody that's not necessarily here right now. Oh, shit. By the way.

I got too many. People who are watching, the last four minutes. I'm not. I'm not going to explain. Neither am I. I'm not that drunk. The last four minutes, if you were watching and it came on me at any point. Who came on you? Pause, pause, pause.

Big play. Pause, pause, pause. Yo. Hey. pause, pause. Big pause. Big pause. Yo. Yo. Hey. Oh, no. Coming on who? Big pause.

Who's coming on your back? I was doing an old school swallow my puke. You saw me at any point in the last four minutes. I was swallowing my puke. Which means four minutes of no talking, and that's no riffing. No, no, no. Should be a disqualification. No. Should be a disqualification. Oh, you asked me. Which is worse minutes of no talking and that's no riffing. No, no, no. Oh, you asked me which is worse than throwing up.

Oh, hey, how about the fact that my fucking teammates sucks? Oh. What the fuck? You gotta save yourself. You didn't. You didn't just do that. Finish your beer, bro. You guys are in the lead outside of the booth. I know, and I have to piss so bad. You didn't just do that. I wouldn't do that. Finish your beer, bro. You guys are in the lead outside of the booth.

I know, and I have to piss so bad. You didn't just do that. Because I just... You better tread lightly. See you in a month, Dan. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.

It's over. It's over. You guys... I was shaking. Crumbled. I can't believe you just... On my fucking birthday? Owen, you have to riff a little too, Owen.

Are you on 15? Are you on 15? You have to riff a little bit. None of my frat bros would have said that. I swallowed my beer. You're on 15? I swallowed my beer. I could tell.

I saw it was happening. How do you have your wits about you when they die? I'm destroyed, Kyle. Kyle. I don't know where I am. The craziest thing is that Dana. Happy birthday. I'm looking up to the point where Dana just looks...

Happy birthday. Dana's face just looks normal to me now. Can you play that? Happy birthday. Happy birthday. I don't know if it's the lighting. He just looks completely normal. Oh, Jay.

I can't tell he has pain. We haven't heard from Jay in forever. He just did a fucking fist pump. Jay, it's that same fist pump again. Jay. That's how we feel. Jay. What's up?

Guess what, buddy? It's time to get you hard without your wife. This is where we started. That they are in a... Happy birthday. Jay. How we feeling? Jay. What's up? Guess what, buddy? It's time to get you hard without your wife. I just restarted that they are in a... Jay, spin the wheel. Just spin it. Just spin it.

I'm the hardest man of 2004, brother. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it.

Spin it. Spin it. Jay, FaceTime Tom Brady. This is what I die. Oh, fuck. Double slap for you. Abby's everyone else's. What the fuck are the odds of that? Oh, fuck. Double slap. That means everyone has to slap. What the fuck are the odds of that?

That means everyone has to slap twice as hard. Oh, fuck. Straight up. Twice as hard or two slaps? Let's fucking get to slapping. Let's go, TJ. And two hands. Both hands.

This is unbelievable. Both hands. Oh, you're right. Both hands. Oh, it's right. This is unbelievable. Both hands. Oh, you're right. Both hands. Oh, it's right. This is unbelievable. Double slap. It's a boom, boom.

This is unbelievable. You cannot move. You have the bracket already. You cannot move your face. Oh, it's the bracket. Hold on. You cannot move your face. It's a right and a left.

It's a right and a left. My thighs look jacked. Straight up. I'd love a cigarette. Does anybody have it? 12. 12 for us. 12 for Ronan Nicky. Can we get a cigarette? Can we. Straight up. I'd love a cigarette. Does anybody have it? 12. 12 for us. 12 for Ronan Nicky.

Can we get a cigarette? Can we get a cigarette? Can we get a cigarette, too? Yo, Seth. I need you to fucking pick it up. It's right there. Dog, you just betrayed me in front of what? Oh, look at this turmoil.

300,000 people? You may not. Maybe he did call in an hour ago that their team was cooked. You guys are cooked early. I'm feeling completely fine. Big Cat, you're the one that's... Because you haven't been drinking. I'm on beer six.

Oh, shit, you feel fine. I'm on beer six. You guys are on beer four. Also, Big Cat, this was our fucking strategy from the beginning. All right, let's go. Let's win this shit. Now you're turning on me? Yeah, you did.

You did. No, don't try to be friends. You're fucking me up, dude. You guys are going to love how you sound. Who's going to love it the most? Ben Mintz. Come on, Owen. While they're talking, tell us.

I'll step it up. Neither of them will mind, honestly. Because I almost just tipped over the damn orca. Who's going to regret today the most, Owen? I don't know. Pick one. Pick one. Come on, Owen.

Steve, you've been pounding them. Steve, tell us about 2004. I don't think I'm going to regret anything. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I want to vote for a KB wardrobe change. Yeah. Wheel yes or no for a KB wardrobe change. Yeah. Wheel yes or no for it?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, no. No. I'm not, because Dan, when you had your witch hat on, you told me not to. You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm not going to do it. We'll do it another time. No, but now it's just a random thing. KB's more sober than Owen right now. I think KB and Owen have had...

I'd love to see that. KB, how many have you had? I've had five. This is my fifth. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why'd you pick it up from the bottom? We get it. We get it.

Jeff D. Lowe showed up. You don't. Sorry. Jeff D. Lowe showed up. I forgot he's coming. I think he's on a date, too. He is. Do you guys see our new marbles?

No. Wait, what? Boys, revenge our new marbles? No. Wait, what? Boys, revenge. Our marbles are unbelievable. All right. Stop pretending. 10X. Sig throw.

Unreal, man. Lefty, too. Look at these marbles, bro. No, we're not. We're not, Stefan. Sig throw. Stefan's ready, bro. Stefan, now we're done.

We've been doing sigs in here. Wait, tell Stefan to come in here. Stefan, get in the fucking seat. CJ, get. Is this Stefan's gap debut? No, Stefan's been on. I'm the Joker, baby. What?

Stefan, come on in. Stefan, come in. Stefan, come in. Come in. Is Stefan sober? Oh, look. Oh, my God. Oh,. Come in. Come in. Is Stefan sober? No look. Oh, my God. And Nick got sigged.

Oh, Nick, you're on fire. Nick got sigged. Hop on the mic. Hop on the mic. Welcome to Sig City, bitch. Honestly, for a no look, pretty good accuracy. Yeah. I hit you in the chest.

Stefan, what are you seeing? Yeah, you did. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to go ahead and claim 18. Oh! All right, wait. Watch him finish. Watch him finish.

One more second. Want to see a magic trick? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's still 17. Want to see a magic trick? Yeah. Watch me delete this fucking brew, bitch. Can someone please call timeout? I got to piss off.

Dog, your team lost. Just take the L. Brother, we should have pissed. You guys lost. Don't act like you didn't lose. You're scared at how good we are. No, no, dead ass. And dead ass, you're scared.

I am, I am. You're scared, bitch. Ass, give me your cup. I'm speaking gay the rest of the episode dead-ass bitch you're scared oh you don't even know to be honest the last 20 minutes has been a giant shit show so I don't even know what's going on anymore how How do we reel it back in? I'm having a blast. You've got to lean on Owen.

You've got to do slaps. You're having a blast. Slaps. We have to double slap. Double slap. Did we get bumped up to 18? Let's go. How do we get slaps twice?

What the fuck is that? I really need to figure it out. Let's go. Owen needs a cig now. Yeah, I want a cig. Bitch. You should have brought your own. And you guys know bitch.

I'll give my own one. Bitch is just something that I say these days. Yeah, but only to Superiors I say it to everyone Everyone knows that Something funny Zuh No Wait what you talking about

Reminder Do not try this at home Do not try this at home Do not try this When we're all 21 and over I got a problem Yeah You guys have 15 beers

In your In your empties Where are the rest That are empties Yes guys have 15 beers in your empties. Where are the rest? That are empties? Yes. These are 15 beers in your empties. Where are the rest?

I see 18 up on that board. Yeah, that's not ours. These are ours, you fucking idiot. Oh, so that must be ours. We have 15. Oh, so we have 15. All right. No, no, no. Don't fucking do that, you asshole.

Your empties to Dana. I've been emptying on folder. We have both of these bags. Count how many we have in here. We have both of these bags. How many are in that bag? How would I cheat? How many are in that bag?

I'll count them up. Okay, so you had 15 in that one? I'm just trying to audit. Look at Roan. Look in this cooler. Oh, wow. Okay, so I'm seeing more than 15 now. This is bullshit.

It's your responsibility to tell them when you have finished the beer. No, Roan, just look at the cooler. What do you see? No, but I'm saying. There's four left in there, and there's two poured up. I think Roan's been putting his. You guys are right. You guys are right.

There's only four left in there? Yeah. They're about to win. Six to go, bro. They're about to win. 24. I swallowed my puke. Wait.

You better get to 16, Dana. 17. I've drank 11 beers. You just said you're erect? I've drank 11 beers. I am erect. How many do we have done? 18?

Yes, I've drank 11 beers. 18 and then still on the table. That'll make it 20. I'm pissing in this bath. Someone gets to 24 and then we're done. Let's slap now. Let's slap right now. I need 20. Someone'm pissing in this bath. Someone gets to 24 and we're done. Let's slap now. Let's slap right now. I need to slap.

Someone gets to 24. Wait a minute. My chair's on fire. My chair's on fire. Holy shit. Nick, put it out. Nick, stop, jump, and roll. Stop, jump, and roll.

There's actually smoke coming off of his chair. Show us the bracket, please. Can we see the bracket? There's a big hole in it now. You guys want to see a chug? I have a little chug. I'm just giving you ammunition against me. No, no, give it to him.

Maybe he'll throw up. Big Cat. Alright, that's the wheel. Big Cat, you said you want me to step up, right? Yeah, bro. You said you want me to step up, right? Bite me up, dog. Yeah, bro. You said you want me to step up? Nice.

Hey. My bro. I'm about to do the Gluck Gluck 3000. This is my dog right here. It's a common misconception. The 3000 is chugging a beer. The 9000 is something. This is my dog.

Are you going to chug it? Yeah. Oh, it's about to go down. I put 10 minutes on the clock. I got you, Nick.ug it? Yeah. Oh, it's about to go down. Put 10 minutes on the clock. I got you, Nick. Do half of it. Sass and I are the biggest fucking age discrepancy in this whole fucking show. I don't know why.

Have a sip. Get it. Oh, no. Sass chugged it. That wasn't funny. All right. All right. I'll laugh at anything.

All right. 21. We're 19. What do you got? Fill you up. Let's fill you up, bro. That was a big mistake. I right. 21. We're 19. What do you got? Let's fill you up, Brock. That was a big mistake. I do a bet. I was literally swallowing a puke for the last six minutes because I chugged.

I swear to God if you guys don't lose. Did you have hot mouth? Give me a cup. Give me a cup. It's over for me. The booth has gone into protection mode. We've activated our last resorts. We're swagged out now. Oh, they're swagged out. We've activated our last resorts.

We're swagged out now. Oh, they're swagged out. They are swagged out. Wait a minute. Swagged out. That's not allowed. No, they can't be swagged out. You gotta prep your own swag in a case race, bro.

If you finish this one beer that I'm giving you right now, I can take us home. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I just had to prove. I'm done. His ass is done. He's done. I just had to prove everyone wrong, man. He didn't believe in me. I knew I could do better.

I fucking love you guys. Oh, you sloppy ass team. I love you guys. 22 for the booth. Oh, my God. 22 for the booth. I was the bucket out of team for 16 for Dana. You look like Chase sitting on something.

My brain says to puke all over this room right now. Do it. Do it, bro. Do it. Do it, Dana. Guys. Guys. Guys.

We have to slap. We have to double slap right now. We have to double slap. Now. Now. Let's do it now. Right now. Who's first?

Who's first? Who's first? Ron versus Owen. Let's go. Don't put your fingers. Who's first? Who's first? Who's first? Ron versus Owen. Let's go. Don't put your fingers. Why are you putting your fingers in my cup, dude? Is it 50-50? I noticed that last time.

Yeah, he is. He has been doing that. He's putting his hand in my cup. Everybody has to focus. He had the beer in his hand. His hand was in the beer. All your beer. Everybody has to focus on the slap.

Don't put your fingers in it. How much are people going to hate this show? We're going to hate it. What did they expect, dude? I'm the Joker, baby. This feels like our live show. It feels exactly like that. This feels like our last show.

Hey, Garrett, when you put the title in, just be like, Dave Portnoy reveals all. DPS show, because they're not doing a Dave Portnoy show next week. Spin the wheel of me and T like, Dave Portnoy reveals all. GPS show, because they're not doing a Dave Portnoy show next week. Spin the wheel of me and Taz, or of me and Owen. Anyone want to call timeout? No. Someone's got to get up. Double slap. If you piss your

pants on the wheel, what happens? What? Run, slap, Owen. I should have pissed. I was the only one who didn't piss. Like if someone slaps the silly out of you. What, do you piss? You're fine. You're fine.

What is that? Steven, Steven, Steven. Che, no hand signals. Che's giving life. Hey, you have a microphone. Che, talk. Hold on, hold on. Oh, yeah, Che's using fucking sign right now.

Can I have that? Can I have a drag? Oh, boy. Oh, Owen's got the sick in his mouth for the slap. Can you get it on me? Classic OG barstool move. Get it on Nick. Look at that accent.

Look at the valley girl. Wait, wait, wait. Grandin. Oh, no. Grandin's here. Oh, Grandin. And she's sipping. She thought she could just walk past.

Grandin. Hold on, hold on. Nope, no. Grandin's sipping. She thought she could just walk past. Brandon, get your uh-uh. Nope, no. Brandon's sipping, too. Get in here. I'm like, Brandon. Caitlin, get in here. What are you on? You are a part of the Walker clan.

Oh, you're hammered. It was Brandon's birthday yesterday. You're shitter. You're in the shitter. I mean, I've had a few beers, but I'm fine. Yeah. As a walker, we'd like you to... 10-22.

You heard me? Finish a sentence. I heard you. Ad-libs. As a walker... I hear. I hear. I'm happy you're here for the show. You want to slap me?

Yeah, slap him. Kaelin, how awesome is Tommy? He's the best. Tommy's the best human on earth. Oh, she's fucked up. How awesome is Tommy? Tommy's the best human on earth She's fucked up You're hammered Why would you lie and say you're not hammered? I never said I wasn't hammered Katelyn, Seth was talking shit about you all day

No, I was not I said you're hammered And then you said I'm not hammered. I've had a few beers. That's it. Okay, I never said I wasn't hammered. I said Tommy Walker is the best. Oh, my God. You're blacked out.

23 for the booth, by the way. Stop, stop, stop. Thank you so much for being in. This is very... Thank you, Caitlin. Don't say that. Tommy Walker is the king of the act. Yes.

Caitlin, thank you. Caitlin, Tommy Walker's the king of the night next to you. That ass. Caitlin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quote that. I said Tommy Walker's the king of the night next to you. He said king of the night.

King of the night. Caitlin. Tommy Walker's the king of the night. Caitlin, get over here. Hold on. $100, Caitlin. Yeah, yeah, Caitlin, you go. Tommy Walker's king of more than the sass? Yes. Yeah. He's not better than the sass Hold on. $100, Caitlin. Yeah, Caitlin, you go. I'm the longest king of more than the sass?

Yes. Yeah. He's not the most. More than the sass. $100. Thanks for being here. I'm longest the king. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Caitlin got $100. You get $100. You get $100. You get $100. $100. I love you, Caitlin. Dan, Dan, Dan.

Oh, no. Cleaning lady. Caitlin, where were you? Oh, yes. The cleaning lady. Oh, no. Caitlin, give it back. Give it back, Caitlin. Dan, Dan, Dan. Oh, no. Cleaning lady. Caitlin, where were you? Oh, yes, please. The cleaning lady. Oh, no, Caitlin, give it back. Give it back, Caitlin. No, no, no.

Here's more. Here's more. Wait a minute, Caitlin. One more question. One more question. No, no. Are you staying in New York? Or are you going to go to Mississippi with Brandon?

What are you talking about? You guys already knew. It's his sister, not his dog. Tell him. Tell him. We don't need the exact answer. I love you his sister, not his dog. Tell him. We don't need the exact address. I love you. Hank, get that out. Why would you?

Hey, love. I love you. You gave us the exact address. Get home safe. You didn't have to. Get home safe. Can we get the cleaning lady in here? Let's do a slap.

No, no. No, I want to pay the cleaning. We need to get... All right, you're right. All right. I'm just talking. Shut up, Eagles. Tell him to move. Tell... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Shut up, Eagles. Tell him to move.

Double slap. That's good. That's great. Double slap. Don't go too hard on my boy. I'm out. I'm out. Oh, no. I'm going to piss the web. Block him.

Block him. What's going on? Wait. Tam up. Tam up. Oh, it's Tam up. Block him! Block him! Block him! What's going on? Wait, time out? Time out? Oh, it's time out. You're good? You're good? Oh, my fucking shoe! My fucking shoe!

Oh, fuck. I got you. I got you. Alright, alright, alright. Wait, is anyone cutting in, all right, all right. Wait, is anyone cutting in there? Stefan, get me. So, someone is mopping out there. You don't even know what camera I'm on right now.

You might have to rotate over to me. Someone's mopping out there, and Stephen Che took the corner super hot, and all I heard as I was pissing in the bathroom was a deafening thud, and Nick's saying that Stephen Che broke his arm. Is he okay? It's mopped out there, and Stephen Che just ate shit. Dana called his time out.

And I slapped Owen. I double slapped Owen. And I don't even think it was on camera. I don't think anyone even saw that it was on camera. And we have all the slaps left to go. They're about to be done and win this. Tell us when the two minutes are up so I can keep drinking. The two minutes are almost up.

All right, guys. Remember to listen to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. I can't stop laughing. Roan. Holy fuck. Say it on the mic, Nick, because Che just turned the corner and ate shit so hard. Che just got absolutely demolished by the Conqueror. I'm feeling like I'm going out of this.

Zah said KB is shitting. Because you're not drinking at all. Yeah, because I'm drinking all of it. Oh, I'm going to kill you. Oh, you're getting strangled, bitch. Nick's picking up his shoes so he can tell this story. Che was chasing behind me. Wait, are we done with the two minutes?

Not yet. Che was chasing behind me. We'll call the timeout. Dana did it. Dana. 20 seconds. 20 seconds. 20 seconds.

18. I'm drinking. I see a whole team missing. I see a whole team missing. Che slipped on the wet floor and fell harder than I've ever seen a person fall. It came in saying he broke his arm. He thought that he broke both. We haven't seen him since. We haven't seen

him. He laid on the ground and was wallowing. I think we need to pull the tapes. Jay fell harder than a person who's ever fallen before. He bounced off his concrete four times. Three. He was just going two, one.

Disqualified. Disqualified. What the fuck happens now We're not gonna disqualify There's one back There's one guy back We're not gonna disqualify Quick live update on KB I have never heard a man

Fucking take a fart that loud Che get in here My man is on the shitter KB is shitting It sounded like that last day check it in here my man is on the shooter getting my man maybe she didn't hear my message is a cake I'm at our it's it sounded like my man was sitting on a newborn I thought I knew I was a new born so we can roll alright we can try it was like I was alike do those the head I don't this is what

what when you when you're sitting in it when you're sitting in a in a stall, and it's mostly farts in the beginning, it sounds like this. Here he comes. He only shits. Shit. Dude, I was, no one was in the bathroom with me. I was laughing so hard. Jay.

Go back there. Talking to the mic. Talking to the mic. Talking to either of them. Stephen, talking to this mic right here. Jay, talk to the mic. Yeah. Or the other mic.

Whatever you want. Whatever you want to do. You guys see that? I think mic right here. Talk to the mic. Yeah. Or the other mic. Whatever you want. Whatever you want to do. Did you guys see that? I think Nick saw it. I missed it. Holy shit. A person has never fallen harder. So hard.

Where'd you hit? We have to pull the tape. Very painful. We have to pull the tape. Were there any? No, no, there's not. That was bad. Where'd you hit?

My elbow. Honestly, if I had not been drinking, I would have broken my arm. No doubt about it. You're floppy enough. Reactions are so slow right now. I started going down, and I saw Nick going by, and I just thought I was really fucked up.

I just started to turn my head, and then my elbow was on the ground. The floor was mopped most three minutes ago because I yelled, and I was like, oh, ow. And Nick stopped and turned around. Wait, what did you say? Oh, ow. Nick stopped and turned around and the cleaning woman, who did nothing wrong, came out and she was right behind the door.

Sounds like you're blaming her. It sounds to me like you're blaming the cleaning woman. No, no, it was not her fault. Sounds like you're saying she had just mopped. There's a cleaning lady over here. It's 10.30 at night right now. There's a cleaning lady over here. She's doing a good job. Give the cleaning lady a tip for $1,000. Okay, so we'll have her fired by the morning. If you...

I'll give her $100. I don't even know if you saw it. I'll double it. I don't know if Nick saw the full thing, but that was... I'm going to triple it.

I'm going to triple it. I'm going to triple it. He fell so hard. He fell so hard. Can we please pull the tapes? That will be the promo clip for this episode. As soon as I fell,

Nick said, oh my God, I think he broke his arm. Nick just ran past. He didn't stop at all. I had to pee. At that point, I was not sure if I had broken my arm or not. I had to pee.

You wouldn't know. Also, I slapped Owen with no camera on any of us. Oh, you got to do it again. Oh, yeah. You already do it. Let's go back to the slap dance. Dude, I was. Owen, you're looking more like the Wicked Witch of the West right now than the show Oh, yeah. You already do? Let's go back to the slap board. Believe it. I'll take it. I saw it. I saw it. Dude, I was. I was.

Oh, and you're looking more like the Wicked Witch of the West right now than the Joker. I've been rubbing my mouth. I was standing in the bathroom just laughing, crying so hard. Shit, I wish I was the Witch of the West. No one went to this bathroom. Do you want to go out like this after? Oh, I'm definitely going out. I definitely want to wear this. I got some boys. I'm at a kettle of fish. I'm going out with them wear this. I got some boys.

I've had a kettle of fish. I'm going out with them after this. All right, wait. We said we're going out tomorrow night and I said, yeah, of course. Let's run the next wheel. No, we have to honor this.

It's a double slap wheel. I slapped him twice. Can you guys zoom in on my fingers? Alright, alright, fine. Can you guys zoom in on my two fingers right now? EJ, get the third and fourth slap. Because we're very unoriented. I want you guys to zoom in on my two fingers.

Why? Why? Why? Can you finger the Wicked Witch of the West? Happy birthday, Harry. I'm the Joker, baby! We're going to have a lot of clips. Yeah, we're going to have a lot of clips.

I'm just going to want it back at Big Cat. And for the people asking why we don't do any more live shows. It's just the reason. I don't know what to do, bro. I think you're like 80 away from an orgasm. He just showed up. He's like right on the cusp. He's still showing orgasm.

After the first, after the live show we did in Boston. Run the next wheel. I looked at my Twitter mentions and someone was like. Enough, enough. I don't know. I looked at my Twitter mentions and someone was like. I just, oh, duh. I don't know what to do.

You know you guys can throw in the towel and still kill with us. Oh, shut the fuck up. Shut up. I looked at my Twitter mentions and someone was like the towel and still chill with us. Oh, shut the fuck up. Shut up. I looked at my Twitter mentions. You shut the fuck up. Oh, you shut the fuck up. 24 for the booth. Oh, fuck you guys.

Oh, the booth got 24. Okay. Wait, Nick, you got one? Sneezes might take me down, bro. Yeah, give Nick one. Sneezes might take me down, bro. I mean, he throws up the thumbs up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I did not throw up. No, I'm good. I'm good. Anyway, I looked at my Twitter. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I did not throw up. No, I'm good. I'm good. Anyway, I looked at my Twitter. 20, 20, 20. I think I've done 12 in Sasson. No, I've done 13 Sasson 7. That's not true.

I think it is. You keep on bluffing, dude. Yeah, he's bluffing. You guys know we haven't actually. Who's next in the slap wheel? Let's run the slap wheel. Did you slap Owen? Focus on this.

He did slap Owen. Yes, I slapped him. No one saw it. They're going to fuck us up for it. All right, run it back. It's our fans that are going to fuck us up for it. Yeah, we have to. Yes, I need you.

Jesus. We love our fans, right? Oh! Oh, damn. There we go. That was a grunt. Oh, you're a feisty man. W-O-N in the chat. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O-N. W-O- feisty W-O-N in the chat W-O-N

Sad hard sober Oh my goodness Let's run it next OC Oh god damn Ron You're a feisty motherfucker Who's up next Let's keep on running this Because we have to do it

A third time We're in the third hour now I want some Oh fuck Give me the one And the two We did hit the set Yeah

Everybody's 50-50 Nick J My boy Nick doesn't lose. Audio. Nicky clicky. Let's see what it's all about. J slaps the fuck out of Nick. Yeah.

Atta boy, Nick. Atta boy, Nick. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm drunk enough to the point where I thought we were at a live show. These are fake? I thought that sound effect was real. These guys are fake, dude?

You thought that was an audience? Yeah. Okay. That's like when I'm at my shows and I'm like, so I turned 21 recently. And then it's just. So am I slapping him twice or am I slapping him twice as a word? One hand. You give him one and a two.

Bang, bang. Double slap. Tell him to take a slap Step to the left Step to the left No check Look at the camera You can see where you can

Look at the huge TV screen No no no no The other way Take one to your right Nick To your right The massive TV Who's giggling back there? Stefan

Cause you're about to get your ass beat Yeah Remember when Big Cat called my dad a loser? He did. Yeah. That's crazy. I was going to sit with TJ forever. Or at least until this wheel settles.

I think if we did this podcast drunk every day, we would be the biggest podcast in the world. We'd be way bigger than that. I promise you no. I promise you no. I promise you no. Definitely not. I promise you no.

You don't think this is that bad? Riff, riff, riff. No, I think it's very solid. I think this is that bad? Riff, riff, riff. No, I think it's a good look. I think it's a good, I don't know. I think this is the same feeling that when we did our second show at Laugh Boss and I was like, damn, that was unreal. And then everyone else was like, dude, that was fucking horrible. Well, I think.

Watch, watch, watch. This episode. Oh, nice. Ow! Oh, nice! Oh, shit! Yes! Oh, he's trying to kill him? Okay, don't apologize. That was a fair slap. Oh, two, two.

You trying to kill him, Che? Give me a second. You're supposed to be both hands. And take your ring off, you monster. What the fuck are you doing? Ow! Yeah. Oh, screenshot that.

Dana and I just gave each other the look like, holy fuck, dude was so drunk. Dana and Big Cat are a cook Don't apologize W-C-A-L-N-E-C Alright, alright, next Run it, run it, run it This is generational. Hold on, hold on.

You and Big Cat. I just want to say real quick. I spent the last four minutes, and I think Dana saw it. Pay that woman. Pay that woman. Yes. Oh, no. Get her in here.

Did I give Caitlyn Walker a hundred bucks? You gave her a hundred bucks. Yes, you didn't need it. All right. Here you go. Get her, get her, get her, get her, get her. That's Monopoly money. Can I have my glasses?

I can't see. I love how every time I look at myself on the screen, I'm just the Joker. Dude, Dana and I. Steven Chey, give it to her. No, she doesn't want to deal with it. Oh, don't even put her on camera. Just give her the $100. Yeah, off camera.

Boom. Please, off camera. Rowan lost my glasses. Steven. How did this happen? Dude. Four eyes. Four eyes. Oh, not at all. Please off camera Rone lost my glasses Stephen How did this happen? Dude Four eyes Four eyes

Oh Not at all Just to see Boom 100 bucks Stephen Chaney Stephen Chaney I'm giving out

Way too much money She was weirdly Ungrateful Oh let her Shut the fuck Ew dude What do you want her To do?

Can I just say something Can she grovel for you more? If Dave gave me $100, I'd suck him off. All right, dude. If we did this drunk every episode, we'd be the number one. Dana and I just looked each other in the eyes and we're just like, dude.

You guys are fucked. Dana hasn't riffed in hours. Dana, you haven't, let alone a riff, you haven't opened your mouth in 60 minutes. I've had 17 beers. Usually people, they mumble. Dana, you're a fuck. I've had 13 beers. I'm wrecked.

I'm wrecked. I'm wrecked. I am wrecked. With all due respect. Big hat, no more, no more. I'm goinged I'm wrecked I'm wrecked I am wrecked With all Respect Big hat No more No more

I'm going all the way No Sass I need you Because I just spent The last five minutes Swallowing Come on give me that camera You're on camera

Swallowing You want to see a magic trick Sass you're being I just spent I got these scars Sass You want to see a magic trick Sass I win

Watch my boy One at a time One at a time One at a time Woo This is good All I Sass. You want to see this magic trick? Sass. I win. Watch my boy. One at a time. One at a time. One at a time. This is good all at the same time. I just spent the last five minutes swallowing a puke. Let's go, Big Hat.

Literally. Spin the wheel then. Spin the wheel. You against TJ. Spin the wheel. 21 for Big Hat and Sass. Che fucked me up. I've literally had 13 beers.

13 beers. Big Hat and Sass are Che fucked me up. I've literally had 13 beers. 13 beers. Big Cat and Sass are the closest. Spin the wheel. Cut away from them. Cut away. I'm about to slap the beer out your ass. Cut away. Spin the wheel. You have to finish the wheel.

Sass, if I finish this one, you can finish the last two. You have to finish the wheel. Load me up. All right. Big Cat, slap it in. Get over here, bitch. Fuck. You call his dad a loser? God, is it real? Get the fuck out of here, bitch. Fuck. Wait, you call his dad a loser?

God, is it real? Don't suck the fuck out of you, TJ. You made him admit his dad was a loser. Tim's watching. I'm going to say this right now, on the record. TJ's off the screen. Yeah, yeah. Fucking love Tim Hitchens.

Oh, thank you. Thank God. Oh, dude, that guy is a fucking cheat. We needed that. He's literally a cheat. I love him so much. I thought you were going to, like, six-tuple now. Oh, thank you. Thank God. Oh, dude, that guy is a fucking cheat. We needed that. He's literally a cheat. I love him so much. I thought you were going to, like, six-tuple him. Oh, no, no, no.

I love him. Oh, fuck. He knows. Listen. CJ, go back outside real quick. This is awesome. Oh, no, he's about to gas you. No, no, go back outside.

Oh, we only have five left. I love this. Listen to me real quick. What's that possible? What a treat. What a treat. That's dude. You're a menace.

Tim Hitchens. Can we see KB's chair right now? Sass is a menace right now. We're at 14, by the way. 14. Oh, man. How do you have three left and you're at 14? We have five left.

No, no, no. You guys are only three away. Get them done now, and you guys win. Yeah, win. I would get them done now. Sass, chug that. All right. I'm going to say this real quick. Hold on, hold on. Before I slap now and you guys win. Yeah, win. I would get them done now. Sass, chug that. I'm going to say this real quick. Hold on. Before I slap TJ.

You've been a menace. You've been a nuisance. Hold on. Stop turning my mic down. I won't yell anymore. Stop yelling. They won't turn their mic down. Turn it back up. Can I say something real quick about Tim Hitchens?

At 18, can I say something real quick, counter? Y'all want to see me chug a beer? Shut the fuck up. You guys are three away. It would be so easy to just do three. I love Tim Hitchens. The reason why I called him a loser is because I know that dude. He's a Big Ten guy.

Not only a Big Ten guy, but he's a stoolie. Ruin through. We bust balls. I called him a loser. He knows that's respect. He knew it was respect. Slap, slap, slap.

Slap my ass and let's get this. Slap my ass like a drum. Hold on, slap, slap. Slap my ass and let's get this. As respect. Slap my ass like a drum. Hold on. Now, Tim, I'm going to... Cut his mic. Cut his mic. Yeah, seriously. Slap his ass like a drum.

Cut it, cut it. Shh. Now, Tim. What's your mom's name? No, no, no. Don't tell him. Maureen. No, no, no. Zah. Z. Maureen. No, no, no.

Zah. Zah. Why, Zah? Oops, I'm sorry. Oops, I'm sorry. Mrs. Hitchings. Sorry. Sorry, Zah.

Maureen. Tim. Tim. 14 for us. 14 for us. Tim and Mrs. Hitchings. No, 15. 15.

15. With all due respect. With all due respect. 15 for us. Hold on one sec. I am going to slap the fuck out of your son right now. Hurry the fuck up. Stop stalling.

Come on, Big Cat. Come on, BC. Help him out. Help him out. BC, give it to him. Give it to him. That's all I'm going to do. Hey, we have 15.

Big Cat, don't slap the fuck out of him. Big Cat, don't give it. Big Cat. don't slap the fuck out of him. Big Cat, don't give a... Wait a minute. No, right left. Big Cat, T.O. They legitimately hurt me. T.O. No, no, okay.

That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. That's two. That's two. Nick, 15? Yes, we're at 15. That was my lefty.

I didn't even go with my righty. That was a full slap. The way his head snapped, that was twice as hard. TJ, good job. Great job, T. I didn't even go with my right knee. That was a full slap. The way his head snapped, that was twice as hard. TJ, good job. Great job, TJ. TJ, I'm sorry. Good job, TJ. TJ, I'm sorry.

This is basically a level of abuse for TJ. That is unforeseen. KB is draped in fucking... I wasn't even my right. Nobody's watching. I wasn't even my right I wasn't even my right Are you okay TJ? I love you

That shit fucking hurt $100 to TJ You gotta give $100 to TJ TJ come get your $100 Come get your $100 Everyone watching right now He's coming quick TJ When I went up to TJ just now He was legitimately in pain I just He

TJ when I went up to legitimately in pain Number two 26 for the booth 26 been it again spin it again With the 26 for the roof. We gotta hurry up. Yeah, you had eight beers DJ I'm sorry I fuck here DJ can you get on the Headphones real quick I love you DJ I'm sorry I'd slap the fuck out of you with that laugh That wasn't even my dominant hand

Dana hasn't riffed once Fuck out of you He's out He might be out He's't riffed once. Fuck out of here. He's out. He's out. He's out. He might be out. He's done. He's never riffed. He hasn't riffed once.

Zoom in on Dana. I am wrecked. TJ. You're actually like a high man. Absolutely wrecked. That's how a high man acts. I don't know how to breathe. Stop tapping alcohol.

Drunk guys are supposed to be laughing. I think you might have dislocated my jaw, big cat. For real. What did you say, TJ? I think my jaw might be moved. I can't fucking chew right read alcohol. Drunk guys are supposed to be laughing. I think you might have dislocated my jaw, Big Cat. For real. What did you say, TJ? I think my jaw might be moved. I can't fucking chew right now. I'm sorry. No, it's fine.

It's fine. It's cool. Big Cat, you wound up. I do. Oh, you a sick mofo. That was for me and my father. No, but I love your dad, and I love your mom. Oh, you a crazy.

What the fuck did you just say? I said I love your dad. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Cut their mics. Cut their mics. Cut their mics. Cut them. Let's find out who's slapping sass. They're done.

TJ, that was my laugh. I'll beat your ass. I'll beat your ass right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Saying the words loud doesn't make it a joke. Come on. Shut up.

Everyone shut up. Who's next? Who just said that? I hear you saying shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. That's versus Dana.

Shut up. You're getting ass beat now. Shut up. up Shut up Hitching family I'm chugging this beer right now The number one family of barstool I'll say that right now Alright boys Alright boys

We got it We're into the slap wheel Let's finish this slap racket I need you to fucking pick it up We got one beer left. Yeah, yeah, you might as well. We got one beer left in there. I need you to fucking pick it up.

I've drank like 13, 14. Leave it to me. 19. At what point do we get to a survivor situation where we snuff a candle of somebody who's also on the show? I can't. I can't. Oh, no. Finish that.

I can't. Finish that. I can't finish it. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it to me. I can't. I can't. No, no. Finish that. I can't. Finish that. I can't finish it. Dude. Dude. Spin it. Spin it to me. I can't drink anymore.

Spin it. Spin it now. And on Dana. DJ, I love you. Are you mad at me? Please, Dana. No. God damn it.

Sad slap, Dana. Oh, bitch. You getting your ass beat. I can't wait. DJ, are you mad at me? Dude, I cannot believe. Dana, I can't wait to see how powerful you are.

That's like a pat on the face if anything. I just say shout out to me because I slapped TJ with my left and that's how powerful I am. I'm the Joker, baby. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. What if we get another wheel where we all slap sass?

Every time he says I'm the Joker baby We just slap him You guys can't get mad at me This is my 21st birthday 19 Dana right Yeah Yes sir This is my 21st

I feel like the Hitchings family Rudy can you get him a shot Of New Amsterdam Yeah get Sass a shot I'll take that shot I'll take that shot. Pick it up and I'll throw it in your face. I fucking... They're the best.

So Sass fucking ruined the app. You gotta let TJ slap you. TJ, come here and slap me! I'm here and slap me! You have to let him. You're all just. I'm here and slap... Can I just say real quick? I dude I'm the Joker. I just say

I was I was actually impressed by my my own left hand Yes TJ to bring my kid there we go TJ take those bitch-ass glass Oh, my God. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I love the itching. He fucking just crayed. That was a punch. Yeah, that was a punch. He hit me straight in the jaw. That was ancestral.

I've actually seen. Yeah, that was animal. I'm out of here. Tweety birds. God. I'm actually seeing Tweety birds right now. I am fucked. No.

Are you good? What the fuck? No. He punched me. He punched you in the face. No, I'm good. Tweety Birds right now. I am fucked. No. Are you good? What the fuck? No. He punched me. I punched you in the face. No, I'm good. That was a KO. Iron jaw, bro.

Wait, wait, wait. That was dope by both sides. He just punched you in the face. He punched me. I'm okay, though. I feel like this is the Oscars. Oh, my God. We didn't work out.

We didn't work out. We didn't work out. It was a fist punch. No, the sound it made was indicative of a fist punch. That hurt really bad. I'm not going to lie. That hurt really bad. He fucking punched me.

That was way too hard. TJ. I heard when. TJ. Now all's forgiven. Now you call his dad a loser. TJ, you need to text your dad. You need to text your dad and be like, just wait until two hours and 15 minutes into the show.

Because. I heard TJ. I heard TJ. I heard TJ. When you slacked him, he goes, it was a Tim Hitchings joke, dude. Dude, he punched me. Yeah. That was a KO. What is Dana doing? What the fuck are you doing?

I'm good. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. Speak up. That was an empty cup the entire time. If you finish that. Gotcha, Dana. Camera over to me.

Camera over to me. Get his sass. Jesus Christ. I'm the Joker, baby. We have a 20-minute... All on his shirt. 90% of that is on his shirt. You just punched me. I am sorry.

We do have a 20-minute video to watch. 29 for the booth, by the way. Oh, 28. Sorry. Whoops. Put the video on, please. Sass, give me their fucking cup. Wait, TJ, at what point did you know you were going to close your fist for that punch?

That was insane. Was it the walk to the booth? It was the ninth time he called my dad a loser. Yes, I just need you to admit that. I actually love it. I was in the phone call. We're at 17. My job is to be in so much pain tomorrow, but I fucking love it.

That was way too hard. No, but that felt good, TJ. TJ, we're at 17. I feel good from that. I feel like we're fucking justice. That was justice. We're going to do... That was justice.

Who's next? Who's next? No, no, no. We're going to do the WWE video because people are telling me we should do it. Oh, no, no. Hold on. Oh, no. We need to do the slap wheel.

19. All right. Hold on. We need to do the slap wheel. 19. All right. Hold on. Before we do the video, before we do the video, me and Big Cat have to say something. Can you get it on us real quick?

We have to say something real quick. Game over, bitches! Woo! Alright, 23. And we're done! We're done! We already won! It's over, baby!

It's over! Alright, alright. Hey, Zub! You guys weren't paying attention while we were telling you our score. We're on 19. Wait, what the fuck? Nick's on 19. Oh, man.

That's a fucking win. Nick, you're done out here, my G. We just got to 24. Two minutes ago. We just got to 24 ourselves. Nick, you're big time done out here, my G. Yeah, you're out. I need to waste my time.

I was pounding on the window. I've been trying to tell you our score for 10 minutes. We're on 19. You guys won? Wait, I just won on the record. Tass and I just finished 24. You guys won. They won first.

They fucking won. Wait, but that's bullshit. Who won first, though? Wait, but who won first? We don't have evidence of who won first. We need to do a case race off. We had a plan.

You guys need to go head to head. We had a plan for Tass's chugging two minutes ago. Six pack off. Six pack off. We have no plan. You guys need to go head to head. We had a plan. Two minutes ago. Six pack off. Six pack off. We have no proof. We have no way of proving who won between you two.

You guys have to do a case off. We do. I'm happy to cut it. I don't know. A six pack. No. There's no video proof. We're happy to call them winners.

No, I think you need to find out who won. I know, but you have to win. Who has a cigarette? Please update our fucking score while you guys gloat. Nick, you're irrelevant to this. We're at 19. We're not going to be in the bottom two.

You don't want to lose. I'm at a point where I am very cool with losing. Dana's got 18. We have 19. Dana hit a 17. I have 19. And Dana hit a 17. I had 19. You did?

So we can't... Sass and I fucking dominated the conversation. In some ways, yeah. In some ways, yeah. For people who say I'm washed up, I had fucking 14 beers. That is insane.

I had 10 beers. So fuck everyone who... Sass is going to complain about the temperature after two beers. Yeah, and everyone who said- Yeah, you are going to be more like- The cat's going to suss. Oh, no.

I like this. They're going to love how that's happening. Just a minute. Cut all the other mics. Let me and Sass talk. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cut all of us. Cut all the mics.

Let me and Sass talk. No. Sass, what are you saying? Sass, you talk your shit. Wait, do the rest of the slaps. Bro, I'm you talk your shit. Wait, do the rest of the slaps. Bro, I'm going to sit down. We do have to do the rest of the slaps. And one more spin.

There are people saying. And the WWE video. To be fully honest, I hate myself. We'll do that while we're eating. They're like, Big Cat's going to fucking drink six beers and say he's the father of two. Did prove him wrong. Hey, bitches. I drank 14 fucking.

Who the fuck is this? Oh, we have to do the wrestling thing. Not the wrestling thing. Before you go, Emrag. I drank five. Emrag. I drank 14 beers. I drank 10 beers.

And I'm a child. I'm a kid. He's a kid. Wait, how many beers did you both drink? I slapped the shit out of him. We're boys. Yes, we are boys for life. You have to finish the slap, Will.

We have to spin one more time. Yeah, hold on, hold on. We have to do the Emmerags thing. Let me just say something for us. Can I really drink 10 beers? It's been a great show. It's been a great show. You might have drank nine, Sass.

I might have had 10. Emmerags, you don't got to lie. Oh, I drank 10. I might have had 10. You don't got to lie. Oh, it's been so fucking entertaining. I just want to say one thing. Is that Cum Rags over there?

No Cum Rags today. on close i was saying i was washed up no you proved them wrong i had fucking 15 14 that is an objectively impressive amount sass two hours you're gonna have to console him after all right i want to say something too and i slapped the fuck out of tj and tj slapped the fuck out of me i've broken my jaw. You might have broken my jaw. You punched me. That's why we're boys. Finish what we started. You got to take control.

Let me say one thing. I'm going to throw in a tip and stop talking. We have to do the WWE video. I don't know. Shut the fuck up. Shut the WWE video. I promise. It's a sold- I don't know. Shut the fuck up. Let me finish this up. Shut the fuck up. I promise you.

I promise. Why would you want to speak if they're begging you to not? I promise you it's one thing and then I'll be done. It's going to suck. All right. The Joker, baby. It's his birthday. I'll promise you it's one thing and then I'm done.

It's his 21st. Look. Please say I'm the Joker. Happy birthday to you. This doesn't count. Look, he's saying I'm the Joker. Happy birthday to you. This doesn't count. This counts. Happy birthday to you. Run the video.

Happy birthday to Sasquatch. Happy birthday to you. Hold on, my 21st. Guys, we have to watch this thing for game time. All right, one last thing. One last thing I got to say. Just go. He's done.

Can you zoom in on me? Zoom in on me. It's coming. It's coming. Zoom in on him. Happy birthday. No, because I'm dead serious right now. I actually have something to say.

I have something to say. Before you do that, can we zoom in on Dana? Oh, I'm already in. I'm already zoomed in. It is dead. It is dead. I'm destroyed.

All right, all right, guys. Guys, we have an obligation. We're doing a $10,000 PS2 giveaway. Emrex has been patiently waiting. Let's watch this. PS2, yes. Yeah. You need to see the PS2. You guys really aren't going to let me fight. $10,000 ps2 giveaway emmerichs has been patiently waiting To Your one fucking thing one thing

Zoom in on me one time and I gotta say one thing one thing. TJ, TJ, remember when you punched me in the face? Wait, we have to do this, boys. Remember when we called my dad a loser? Yeah. You would know. Fair play. All right, I got to say one thing. Fair play, TJ.

I love you. TJ, zoom in on me. Full screen. Full screen. I don't want the half screen shit. Zoom in on me. I'm the Joker, baby. Woo!

I'm out of here. Someone slap him. Who's slapping him? Who's slapping him? We have to finish the slap wheel. We. Woo! Someone slap him. Who's slapping him? Who's slapping him? We have to finish the slap wheel. We have one more spin, but most importantly. Can I have a cigarette? Guys, there's a ton of people watching to win a gold plated. That's Glennie Balls.

Glennie Balls. It is. It is. It's a $10,000 M-Rags. That was hitting me in the chest. Into a microphone. Yo, yo, yo. Where is it? You just hit me in the chest. Into a microphone. Yo, yo, yo. Into mic eight.

That hurt. And for the people that have been watching. One stoolie will have the opportunity to win a $10,000 gold-plated PlayStation 5. I love you, Caitlin.

I love you. The way they entered, Big Cat's going to be wrestling. KB's going to be wrestling. Roan's going to be wrestling. It made me hurt. Even though I'm very identifiable.

Brandon fucking Walker. That's fucking gross. If Debra wins this Battle Royale money heist, everyone submitted via Twitter, we're done. Random Stooley will be selected. Nick Tarani. If you tweet with the hashtag of your favorite wrestler,

if your wrestler wins, it's too late. Then it will be randomly selected. You win this beautiful piece. One of one. In the case, $10,000. Thanks to Barstool Game Tag. Emrags, Smitty, Riley, Noah, Ben DiGiulio.

Guys that grind. Guys that are still here. Let's tune in. Let's watch. That's beautiful. Let's watch. I love you, Nick. I'm the Joker, baby. You said it was too late. Let's watch. That's beautiful. Let's watch. I love you, Nick. I'm the Joker, baby.

You said it was too late. Because when this airs, it's too late. PFT commenter. For sure. We have PFT commenter. I fucking love you, Nick. Versus. Shout out Revitalite.

Versus. Revitalite. Please tell me that's not Big Cat. Can I get a Revitalite? Big Cat looks fucking awesome. They added 200 pounds to Big Cat. Here we go. Here's the star. Big Cat, you're fighting. They added 200 pounds to Big Cat. Here we go. Here's the start.

Big Cat, you're fighting, my G. Look at those guys right there. Wait, is that Kyle in a Kent state? Is that KB? KB is there. KB is there. Rone's in there in a fucking Storm Chasers uniform. KB replaced it with Heidelberg.

Everyone should know that I drank 15 beers and Sass drank fucking nine. This is a live simulation, so there actually is no predetermined winner. We don't know who's going to win. This is only happening live. This is happening live. This is computer generated. There are people watching to win. So Nick was gold right on time. Nick, we

are live. Hey. Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm fucked up, Nick. I'm sorry.'m fucked up Nick I'm sorry You're right everything you said was right Where am I? I apologize I think I think KB Has just gone no you're down there on the ground getting

Smacked by Big Pat I want to apologize to Nick because I was way wrong No no no Please don't apologize Also a small offering anybody who Deigns to talk shit on us for being drunk right now, this is how you are when you're drunk. Yes. This is exactly how you are anytime you're drunk.

So shut the fuck up. Emrags, we're about to climb that fucking ladder and find out who is winning that. How are you feeling right now? I feel healthy, wealthy, and wise, my friend. I feel alive. I feel like I'm going to win. Commentate this fight.

You want me to commentate it? You should. You'll walk on on. Remember when TJ punched me? He did. He punched you hard. I love that guy, though. Yeah.

No, you deserved it. Dude, TJ's a brother for life. Can you guys guess which one Glennie Balls is? Glennie Balls' legs are not that strong. No offense to him. Am I in this? You're in this. I love that. Can you guys guess which one Glennie Balls is? Glennie Balls' legs are not that strong. No offense to him. Am I in this? You're in this. I love that.

Big Cat, they made you a little too hefty. Where am I? I'm in the full screen. Oh, I see me. Yeah, you just threw. Oh, you just threw Brandon Walker. It's like hot Brandon Walker, though. It's not real Brandon Walker.

Why is Glennie Balls 6'8"? I love Brandon Walker. Glennie's like 6'9". Look at him. He's a monster in there. Oh, no. Am I? Oh, I just did that to Brandon him. I love Brendan Walker. Glennie's like 6'9". Look at him. He's a monster in there. Oh, no. Am I? Oh, I just did that to Brendan Walker.

I'm going to roll. If he's like straddling outside the ring right now. This is insane. Oh, wait. PFT's about to get it. He's on top of the ladder. Oh, and he fell off. No, I got dusted regardless.

Dude, this is live, by the way. Can I just mention? This is real people. This is live. It's the equal Can I just mention? This is live. It's the equal entertainment value of it being real people. It's exactly the same as how it was wild. I just fucked you up, KP. Not quite.

No, no. It's me against Glennie. Just snuff Glennie. Shout out Revitalize. Glennie balls his thighs, by the way. Balls his what? Balls his thighs. His thighs are far too big. The leg? Yeah, the leg. Lenny balls that a ball just dies by the way What balls is dies dies? That's a madness no kidding

What's happening? Brandon Walker's going for it. Oh, it's free to fucking Walker. I just give you the back the ladder I give you the back bring we go for it. He's got one. What is going on? No, staged. Brandon's going for it. Two. He has to get eight rings. Oh, no. He's got halfway there.

I'm chasing Rome. I'm whipping ass. Oh, my God. What am I up to? I can't see. I don't think anyone has anything. Brandon has six. Brandon fucking Walker's about to win it all. No.

Staged sport. No. Fake. No. He has to knock down Brandon? I'm still in. You knocked him down. I'm lying to you, Stephen.

If he's reaching, what am I doing? Who is controlling me? Stop doing that. It's not what I would do. They're making me look stupid. I wish I could go back in life. Now Brandon's progressing.

Stop making me frolic. I'm getting assaulted by Brandon. No, who's controlling me? Stop. I wish I could go back in life and just watch. This is so unreal. I used to and just love it. Is somebody controlling me or is this a simulation?

I love this. Big Cat got your back, though. What the fuck? PFT got your back, though. What the fuck? No, PFT got your back. PFT's going for Glennie now. Not realistic. I can't wait to get my son into wrestling. Oh, KB's back.

Get him into actual wrestling. He can get a scholarship. Oh, Glennie picking up PFT. Rolling on the outside, chasing a storm. Trying to get the ladder in. KB on top of the ladder, he's going for it. Oh, and... Who knows? That's not what would happen.

Brandon Walker just knocked you off. I would never need to climb a ladder. And who's your pick to win this one? And the ladder fell on your own head. I look so stupid. You're making me look uncoordinated. The man in the rain suit, aka Roan. Roan's going for it.

Wait, Roan's about to get it. If Roan gets these two, Roan needs one more. He missed it. The next person needs one more. Oh, hell no. One click away from a winner. The golden PS5 given away. Is that Glennie Ball?

It's Glennie in foot. Get Glennie out of there. Only stands featuring Glennie Ball. Get him out. Roan just going at Brandon Walker Walker now PFT joining the fight big cat he's got Brandon Walker in a corner this is awesome WWE 2k 22 out on all platforms I'm, I'm going to have to play underneath him. AB setting up the ladder.

If KB gets this. I get what you're saying, but I would never do this in real life. I would never awkwardly set up a ladder. I would do groundwork. You're going for it now. I would never do that. Getting the ladders. I would do groundwork.

This is how you win. You've got to get the briefcase. KB. You're right. You're right. I would do this if need be. KB going for it. If need be.

Oh, he's just missing. Oh, you've got no clutch factor. You hung yourself. You've got no clutch factor. You had three opportunities. Oh, my God. Hell no. KB's saying.

Hell no. Lenny hasn't went for the objective one. Boy. Hell no. KB saying. Hell no. When he hasn't went for the objective once. Boy. Boy. Hell no. Hell no. Who the fuck is controlling me? KB, what do we think about the attire?

What do we think about the. The attire is perfect. Singlet works? Yeah, it looks good. It looks real. Oh. TFT just finished wrong. Let's get it worked.

Lenny's down for the count. Big Cat is stunned. TFT's setting up the ladder. Sass just went out sad. TFT might have a chance here. Did you throw up? Yeah. That would be the best case scenario.

EFT going for the win. What? Yeah, good shit. Boom. These guys are playing smart. It's a three-star wrestling match we got here. So the next person that gets their hands on the briefcase and times it right wins.

This is anyone's game. Okay. This is anyone's game. Okay. This is anyone's game. Little Sass, who do you like here? Don't care. Happy birthday. Sass just threw up violently. Happy birthday, Sass.

Can I get a fucking lighter? So, Emregg, the person who wins the PS2. The lighter's in the bag and for the so the person who wins the PS2. How do they win? So, we had everyone enter a tweet, right? You replied to the tweet, six people. KB, you were one of them, originally fights, right? Big Cat, Roan. So, who's going to win?

So, whoever wins this, if you selected the right person, then they're going to be randomly selected. Okay. So say it's going to be between 200 people of who picked the right person. Gotcha, gotcha. I'm making a proposal. No edits to this show.

Everybody is. We can't, we can't, we can't. There's one edit I already told Hank about, and he's got it. All right. By the way, I think I drank. You drank a lot, Big Cat. Well, I think I had 15. That's a crazy amount.

Oh, yeah, bitch. I had 15. I had 10. You had 14. No, I think I had 15. You can't accept that, can you? Dana had eight. Lenny Balls.

He hasn't spoken in an hour. What are the odds here? Who has the most hashtags? Lenny Balls. Yeah, yeah. Who? Lenny Balls. He hasn't spoken in an hour. What are the odds here? Who has the most hashtags? DJ. Glennie Balls. Yeah, yeah. Who? Balls?

I would say Brandon Walker and Big Cat got the most love. Got the most love. The most love. Oh, weird. I would say. I wonder if it's based on the size of the player or if it's just completely randomized. It's like if my skinny ass has a chance to win. I just spray vomited.

All level. You're all overall 75 Spray guys long on we already finished. You beat like Roni you might win it here if you grab it Roku win It's a storm. It's a storm. It's a storm. Adam Ferron. Rony baby the prince. Oh my God. You could follow Rone on Instagram if you go to Drake at Drake at Champagne Poppy and click following.

What a legend. He'll be one following. Oh, what a legend. He'll be one of the... Oh, what a fucking legend. Good shit. Who? And we decided who wins this PlayStation. No, we have to do like a random... Now let's decide who won. Jay, go on data.

The people who have tweeted hashtag, what was it? WWE2K22 Roan. Roan. Very few people that have tweeted that will be selected at random to win a one-of-one. It's probably about four or five. Gold-plated, $10,000. That's how much Big Cat would give to 10 Uber Eats drivers. Yeah.

PlayStation 5. There are two women out there. A regular PlayStation 5 is nearly impossible to find. Imagine a gold-plated one. And, by the way, by the way. Well said. Yeah, let's sass the sass. No, no.

One thing. Let him say one thing. Rags, let him say it. Zoom in on sass. Zoom in on his face. Say it. Sass. Just say it.

You know what to say. Please. We are all 21 years old. Dump it up. Please. Oh, shit Please The booth is struggling We are all 20 years older and up The booth Good work boys

We're all fucked up None of us are driving I'm the Joker baby It's Seth's birthday We're all fucked up Game time Game time baby Joker, baby. There it is. It's Sass's birthday. We're all fucked up. Big shout out to Forest School Game Time. Zoom in on me. Game time, baby.

This is the reason maybe we did this. Yeah. Zoom in on me. Happy birthday, Sass. Thank you. Share them wings, Sass. Zoom in on Dana. Yeah.

All right, zoom in on both of us. Also, fuck it. The winner of the PlayStation has a job here. I love Dana. Yeah. You go to Dana. That's my answer. Let's give Dana. Yeah. You go to Dana. That's my answer. Let's give somebody a job.

You go to Dana. Wait, we have unfinished business. Dana, hold on. Hold on, hold on. We just hired the clean lady. I just want to say this real quick. It's full time. I just want to say this real quick.

Hold on. About Dana. Dana. Wait, zoom out. Boys, we have to finish this lap wheel. Zoom out. We have to finish The slap wheel Zoom out We have to spin Zoom out

Zoom out Alright right there Dana Catch Oh Oh No no no And it's

Get it get it get it So you're drunk And on fire It's broken It's broken It's broken Alright Let's spin the slap wheel

Finish that Spin one more time I love you guys I hope we can get wet Also Our beer count was One love More than 13

I had 12 KB had like 10 Yeah you can count Wait what are you guys at? We're up more than that More than 13 I'm just saying So where are you at?

It's still just We're at It's us two in trivia We still lost It's us two in trivia I'm thinking about that It's us two in Jeff D'Lo lost. It's us two in trivia. I'm thinking about that. It's us two in Jeff D'Lo's trivia. All right, where's Jeff D'Lo getting here?

Jeff D'Lo's. Dana, I don't want you to die. So let's go. We're a little easy on these last four. Yeah, no, Dana, you don't have to drink anymore. We're done. Happy birthday. You're done.

No, Dana, you're done. You're done. Your watch is over, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drink a Revitalite. Watch is over. Shout out Revitalite. Get a slice of pizza. Your watch is over. Shout out Revitalite. Get a slice of pizza.

Get some Joe's. Shout out Revitalite. I just got the spins big time. I wonder why. Did Sass and I win? I'm the joker, baby. Did Sass and I win or did the booth win? The booth won.

I think it's a drink off. I think it's a six pack off He has the best laugh How about How about three beers for them Two beers for you Anytime you hear Zaw's laugh

After a joke You know it Fucking ripped I just know I just know that I drink I'm gonna be using that On stand up I drink 15

And I drink not so Happy birthday Harry That's so true Mon like Also happy birthday To our fallen comrade Brandon Walker. His birthday was yesterday.

Oh, fuck, Brandon. No. Oh, fuck that bitch. All right, let's finish the slap wheel. We have obligations. Yeah, let's do it. One more spit. Happy birthday, Brandon.

And then let's call her a show. Yep, let's do that. And no, we have to eat the pie. We have to eat the trivia. We have so much to do. I just texted Jeff D. Lowe about his whereabouts. I know he has something else going on tonight. Yeah, he was wearing his date shirt.

We know what he's doing. Hey, Kat, no phone. Come on, put it down. Buddy, we have to finish this. We dominated this. We won this. Let's finish our slap wheel. The booth had six beers left.

Hey, Kat, you didn't expect me to put down ten, did you? No, you drink nine. I drink ten. KB, maybeass's mic away from his mouth. I count us. As much as I'd like to, they did finish 24. I drank 10 beers. You know what? Spin the wheel for the real winner.

I'm the bitch. I can't drink. Sass drank less than Zah. Spin the wheel for the real winner. Can we do it? Can we do a little intermission? It's a fact. DJ, spin the wheel for the real winner Can we do it Can we do a little intermission It's a fact DJ

Spin the wheel for the real winner I will understand whatever happens Sass against Dana Slap with Shout out Revitalite by the way Before this Shout out Revitalite I'm gonna have one right now

He has to make a hole in the wheel The shortest guys on the recovery road Thanks to Revitalite Yes sir I'm being ready You coming to fucking Yes sir Stop bitching around Say that I drank 10 the recovery road thanks to Revital. Yes, sir. I'm being ready to come into fucking Yes, sir.

Stop bitching around. Say that I drank 10. I drank 10 and I know I drank 10. So I drank 14? Yes. Stop telling me what I drank fucking nine.

Yeah, that's going to be the narrative. Wait, wait. Nine beer sass. That's gay shit. Yeah, that's going to be the narrative. Wait. Nine beer sass. That's gay shit. Dana, boy, you better slap him twice. Slap and sass. All right, Dana.

Let's go. Hold on. Square up. Dana, square up. Square up. Before you do this. In the meantime, while he's. Just spin the wheel for who won.

We know who won. 11-12. Who won? I'm going out after this. The booth is chugging as you had your laugh. A little fish. Fuck. All right. Well,? I'm going out after this. The booth was chugging as you had your laugh. A little fish. Fuck. All right.

Well, if you're listening to this right when it comes out, I might still be at Ketelai. That'd be amazing. Hang on. Just say the bar we go to every day. Shout to the podcast. Oh, we're going to be there. Stand up. Stand up, Sass.

It's time to get slapped. Shout to the podcast. Your turn to get slapped. Stand up. Shout to the podcast listeners. This must be chaos in your ears. Shout out, KB. I'm going to beat your ass.

What? When and how? Dana, it's your turn. You're about to get slapped. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up.

Dana, we need you on this. And we need the other one just queued up right away because we need to rip through these slaps right now. We do. Because we have so many slaps. Microphone. Bring the microphone over. Bring the microphone over.

It doesn't even matter, honestly. We just need to make haste. Please. Please. We need to make a little bit of haste. Please make haste. Two slaps. Left and right.

Left and right. Take a step to your right, Dana. Step to your right, Dana. Step to your right, Dana. Step to your right, Dana. Dana, if you hit me hard, I will fucking murder you. No, he won't. No, he won't. I'm the joker, baby! I slapped the fuck out of him.

Right into the mic. I'm sorry. Yeah, stop yelling that loud, Sass. It's too loud. Take your hand now. Give Dana the slap rolls. Give Dana the slapass. It's too loud. So bad. Take your hand out. Give Dan the slap rolls. Give Dan the slap rolls. No hips, no hips. You are wasted.

It won't feel like anything. No, it won't feel anything. Don't swing your hips. Sass, don't even. I swear to God. You want some. Don't point at me. You want some.

Go get slapped. Get slapped like a man. I can't judge Sass because if I had 12 standard drinks, I would be in a prison. I don't know the rules, do you? I would like to judge him now. You see how he gasped and put his hand up to his cheek? Get slapped. You can't be with us.

You're wasted. Rudy, hold his arms down, Rudy. Rudy, hold his arms down. You're being a pussy, Sass. Slap him twice. Slap the fuck out of that boy. Get him. Get now, Dana.

Both hands. Once and twice. Once. Once and twice. Oh, man. Oh. And again. And and twice. Once. Once and twice. And again. And again. And again.

Yeah. All right. All right. Spin it again. Spin it again. Keep it going. Keep it moving. Rone against KB.

Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Yes, sir. Rone is slapping KB. And hold on. Make sure it's on the camera. Yeah, yeah, sir. Rone is slapping KB. Hold on. Make sure it's on the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For sure, for sure. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's keep in mind there, Danny gave me two on the same cheek, which was not what was supposed to happen. Whoa! Whoa! Got the DeAndre Swift. to happen. Oh! Oh! I lost hearing.

I lost hearing. You got me right in the ear. It didn't hurt that bad, but I can't hear it. Getting you in the ear is way worse. I didn't mean to get you in the ear.

Two in one cheek. Wait, that fucked me up, yeah. It's supposed to be two in both cheeks. It's ringing. No, it's not. It's supposed to be left, right, but let's keep it going.

Who's next? Who's next? Let's finish it off. He gave me left, left. But let's keep it going Who's next Let's finish it off He gave me left left He didn't give me left right That's a gift Zah vs Dana That hurts so much

Zah vs Dana We're spinning it You have a concussion You have a concussion I do So that means Zah Dana is slapping Zah

You gotta Just two slaps Dana bring that same energy Dana hasn't spoken in an hour Dana's an angry drunk Let me tell you about those slaps No he's mixing with Xanax This is a textbook hit of life

Tea and beers and slapping your life Dana bring that same energy. Wait, wait, wait. Not yet, not yet. Dana, right. Not yet, not yet. You boys need to scooch. Dana, close fist. Right, right, right, right, yeah. Right, right, right, right. I love this show.

I love you guys. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. Okay, okay, hold on. I gotta go home tomorrow. I love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. Okay, okay. Hold on.

I got to go home tomorrow. I'm going to be going home with a red-ass cheat. Wait, wait. Hold on. Have Dana get down a little bit. Get down a little bit. Yeah, there you go, Chad. Oh!

More! Wait, wait. Stop! One more! One more! Double slap wheel. Two slap wheels. Double slap wheel.

Dana, you can't beat Dana. Dana, you can't. Hey! Have Zah move to the right. Zah move to the right. Zah moves to the right. Zah moves to the right. Zah moves to the right. Zah moves to the right. Zah moves to the right. Zah moves to the right. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Zah.

Zah. He gave me both on one cheat. Oh, no. He had your hand. Oh, Dana. He blocked your hand. Oh, Dana. He blocked it with his hand. Dana. All right.

Spin it again. Spin it again. Spin it again. Spin it again. Spin it. Spin it. Spin it. It's Che.

Roan versus Che. You guys are all here. Yeah, you guys are going hard. This is awesome. Dude, Dana's a fucking warrior. Roan is slapping Che. I love Dana, by the way. I'm so happy I'm not on Ronan.

Yo, Dana, you look like a monster. It's unreal because I don't feel it at all anymore, but I feel, my cheek just feels hot. Yeah, you might be concussed for real. Yeah. Well, you only had nine beers, I had 15. Fuck you, dude. I had fucking 10. I had 10 beers.

Optics of that Dana clip is going to roll. It's wailing on me. It's wailing on me. Quicks, I want to sass him the Joker, baby. He was pulling Zog closer to him to slap him across the face. Hold on, Rone. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on.

Okay. All right, go. Yeah, he's going to have to. Come on, Rone. hold on. Hold on. Jay. All right, go. Yeah, he's going to have to. Come on, Ron. Don't go too hard. Oh, Jay doesn't even move again. Ron, Ron, look at me. Yo, you got to go double.

You got to go double. Double. That was double. I hit him both hands. I hit him both hands. The game is the game. I don't think that's the game. All right, next round, next round, next round.

Run it again, run it again. It is. Fucking great, Jimmy. And someone's about to eat a pie. Someone's about to eat that BK pie. Is it a shepherd? Yours.

You just took them off. This is my favorite matchup on the bracket. All right, spin the final. Is this the final wheel? Dana against Big Cat. Big Cat, Dana. A Glogg 9000 champion.

Bro, I love you, Dana. I love you too, guys. So, Dana, this is what would be with your beer pong competition if it... Come on, Dana. Oh, Big Cat. Big Cat laughed. I did. What's up, Shay?

You, Dana? And now Mike is interviewing... Dana, bring your mic closer. Dana, no offense, but I want to stop and share you. Mm-hmm. All right. Who won? Who won? All right, boys. I did I'm going to slap the shit out of you. Mm-hmm. All right. Who won? Who won?

All right, boys. I did. Big Cat versus Dana. Big Cat versus Dana. Spin it. I just won. Wait, what are you talking about? Big Cat slaps Dana.

All right, all right. Big Cat slaps Dana. You're up, stud. Double. Which would you like first, Dana? Left or right? Left. Left, right.

Left first? Left first after the slap. Okay, Rick. Keep in mind. Keep in mind. Dana gave me left twice. Left, right. Left first? After the slapback. Okay, keep in mind, keep in mind, Dana gave me left twice. Yeah, he did. Keep that in mind. Is that in everyone's mind? Oh, Jesus Christ.

No one else got that. That's all right. Everyone else got one. I got one, one. Yep. Powering up. The warrior. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the Joker, baby. one. The Warrior!

I'm the Joker, baby. One more for the people. Oh, he's going backhand. He's about to get executed. Tell me he ain't going backhand. Big Cat, step to his right. Big Cat, step to your right. There it is. Looks like a villain from Viking.

I'm going backhand with my left and then forehand with your right. There it is. There it is. There it is. Looks like a villain from Viking. Who knows? I'm going backhand with my left and then forehand with my right. Big cat. Big cat. Don't kill him. Ooh, kill him. Smack his pussy. Ooh, kill him.

Murder my face. Murder his face. Oh, Dana. Dana said murder my face. Dana's in a dark place. Yeah, you're good. You're good. You're good.

Dana's in a dark place. No hips.'re good. You're good. You're good. Dana's in a dark place. No hips. No hips. No hips. Bird dog's pants. Just be a half. Oh! That's all.

That's all. That's all. Cut it up. Big Cat, take a seat. Look at this pussy. What a bitch. Take a seat, Big Cat. Take a seat. Oh, no. Oh, bitch. Take a seat, big cat. Take a seat.

No. Oh, no. You just violated every rule. Fuck no. Amazing. Amazing. Dana, are you okay? Spin the last wheel.

Spin the last wheel. Yeah, another one. Another one. Spin it again. Spin this last wheel. Look at Owen. We have the final. I'm again. Spin this last wheel. Oh, you slapped the silly out of him. Hey, yo.

I got punched by TJ. I got punched by TJ. I can fucking do anything. TJ and Dana totally punch you. Oh, my God. Dana's going down. He's done. He's done. Dana, take a seat. Oh, no. The beer. The beer. We're spilling beer. Oh, no,. Dana's going down. He's done. He's done. Dana, take a seat.

Oh, no. The beer. The beer. We're spilling beer. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, fuck. How are we going to hit kettle after this? Dana, you ain't invited.

How do we lay down and slap this place? In this last wheel. Spin this last wheel. Spin this last wheel for the championship. Tell me we ain't got three. I'm going to get knocked out if I lose. No, I will we ain't got three. I'm going to get knocked out if I lose. No, I will not.

No, Rone, you're going to knock me out. I would love to go down. But you can't knock me out either. Please don't knock me out. I will not knock you out. And it's Big Cat. Thank God.

No. Big Cat has won. No. Rone. No. Rone. Rone. Rone.

Rone. Rone. Rone. I'm going to knock this fucker out. No. Leave. You poor boy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, How did I end up winning this? I just said a prayer for Roan. How did I end up winning this? Give me two. I mean, the yak is only... I'm drunk and I'm punch drunk for two years. And maybe Big Cat shouldn't slap him? No, he should.

As the Big Cat... Go out there. Go out there. I'm going to need you. I love Roan. When I think about Roan, I think that's my PFT to my big cat. Dude, I love Roan so much. I would never hurt him. Slap the fuck out of him.

Yeah, slap him. And the worst part is Roan's ready for it. Nature of the game. Roan's got a rat bat. I'm going to see how my bets are doing, and that will determine what happens. Okay. Oh, my God. Look at the one drip of pain on Big Cat's cheek.

That's abuse. Oh, no. Yeah, we're dripping. That's abusive. There's one bet. I think Dana's comatose. I'm the joker. Dana was hit very hard.

He wasn't like speaking beforehand I feel so bad I feel so bad Doors are up Dude you Whoever jinxed me with the fucking Rockies Cubs over Fuck you

Where did the wings go You ate them dude I was promised wings I fucking love Wing No I don't want to let you up Let's get it done right now I don't want to let you up Knock it out I was promised wing. I fucking love you. Wing. No, I don't want to let you up. I don't want to let you up. Knock it out.

Not Roan, but let's get this out of the way. We still have one more spin, and if it's slap, so help me God. Oh, my goodness. Oh, we do have one more spin. Dana, are you okay? Dana. Ask Dana. Dana into the mic.

Dana's mic. No, no mic Dana's mic No no Dana's mic I need to hear you say yes To that question Dana are you okay Give him an open ended question Closer I think my problem is

That I'm a little fucking Punch Yeah yeah Give him a not That's what it is I'm drunk And I'm also Punch drunk

Let's go Because we wasted You rocked me I'm the and I'm also punch drunk. Let's go because we're wasted. You rocked me. I have to piss so bad. I have to piss so fucking bad. Job ain't done, Dan. I just want to. Let's go now. Let's go now.

Get your wing. Get your W. I love Roan so much. I love Roan so much. Light me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Light him up. Left, right.

Roan. Roan. Roan. Left, right. Left, right. I love you. I love you, Roan. Left, right. Left, right. I love you. I love you, Rone. Left, right.

Left, right, real quick. Real quick left, right. Give me a quick two. You might miss. Hell, man, the warrior. Sass, hit him with the joker, please. I'm the joker, baby. Step to your right.

All right, cool. Step to your right, Big Cat. Tell him to step to your right. All right, cool. Step to your right, Big Cat. Tell him to step to your right. Somebody tell Big Cat to step to your right. Step to your right, Big Cat. Yeah. Left right. One, two. Nikki, I don't think you're done.

Oh, Nick's going yuki yuki salad. I'm good. Who's that? It's Ben DiGiulio. Nick just went yuki salad. What? What? Salad Who's that? It's Ben DiGiulio Oh my days They're fucking They just went Yuke salad Alright I love Rome

Yeah well Show them Show them how much You love them Rome is the most Talent That was good That was damn good

Pumpkin ass Pumpkin ass I Pumpkin ass. I just KO'd myself. I love Rhodes so much I couldn't do RACETIC. I fucking love Rhodes so fucking much. And that said, you lit me up.

Yeah, he did. My ear is ringing. You just smashed that pumpkin. Yeah. I just hit myself with a microphone. One more. One more. No, no, no.

I hit you with the left. You have to. Replay it. No, no. I hit you with the left. I went. I went top, top, top. Is that it?

Yeah, it was boom, boom. Yeah, he did. It wasn't. It wasn't. Oh, no. Oh, no. Because I love this guy. Rone has integrity.

He knows he needs one more. I know I need one more. Give me one more. Finish it. Hey, Kat. Finish it. Kat, you can do it has integrity he knows he needs one. I know I need one more give me one more finish cat Oh, I know shit. Okay, you could do it light. No one's Finish him or just hit myself with the microphone so hard wasted Get a wet wheel I Hold up. Get the angle right. You get a wet wheel, I'm killing myself. Go backhand? Yeah, I would too.

Yeah, the backhand against this hand. No, don't go backhand. Don't go backhand on his ass. Don't go backhand on his ass. Way away. They think they can. This way, though. This way.

I'm going to turn my mic down. I'll find a way. Hey, Kat, do not go backhand on him. I'll find a way. Do not go backhand on him. I have to piss so fucking much. Dana, you're allowed to piss. Yeah, I think you're allowed to. Yeah, you're already pissed. Oh, yeah.

Dana, you're for sure allowed to piss. Did you get it? I missed it. I missed it. Dana, you did. Dana, you fucking asshole. It's over. It's over.

Oh, my God. He blocked a back asshole. It's over. It's over. Oh, my God. He blocked the backhand. Dana stood up at the end. Dana fucking blocked the backhand. I think I need one more. Oh, that's on me. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. All right, what's the chance? Wait, Big Cat won it all? Yeah. We have one more spin. One more wheel spin. One more wheel spin and?

One more wheel spin. A dozen? spin and... One more wheel spin. A dozen. Then we have to do dozens. Yeah, I don't know how I won that all. High. Sorry, Rowan. I fucking love you, dude. Game.

I know what the game is. Chalk it up to the game. Chalk it up to the game. The last two places will be... I cracked you so hard with that, right? It'll be KB and Owen versus Dana in trivia. KB and Owen versus Dana in trivia? KB and Owen versus Dana in trivia? We have to spin the wheel one more time.

We have to spin the wheel one more time for the hour. 18 on that case race graphic. Can we update the case race graphic? I had 12. Sure. I had to. Maybe I didn't. I don't care. I had 14 and Nick had 19

I think. I think I had one. I think I had one. I think you had 100. I think I had one or two. Well, the thing is, I didn't drink the 12 non-alcoholic beers not to get credit for them, so I'm going to ask you to. Oh, no. Owen, you're drunk, bro. Chill, bro. You're drunk.

All right, let's spin the wheel. Let's follow the path that we should be doing right now. Spin the last wheel. I do think I might drink some. I would go crazy for a culmination right now. No slap. Please, God, no slap. Just give us a dry.

Oh, no. All right. Yes! Yes, boys! The wheel is up! Yes, boys! Thank God. Wheel reset.

Yeah, boys, we needed that reset. We needed a tough bad. Can I ask a question real quick, though? Yeah, what do you got? What do you got? I won the slap wheel. You did. You did.

And the other game. You won both. Yeah. No, the booth. No, the booth won. Booth won. Booth won. Why did TJ slap the fuck out of me? You were calling his dad a loser. You won both. Yeah. No, the booth won. The booth won. The booth won. Why did TJ slap the fuck out of me?

You were calling his dad a loser. You did. Many times. And I won that, and I was like... You were mistaken, though. He didn't slap you. He punched you. It was a very close twist.

He punched you. He punched you in the face. You gave me ancestral reasoning to slap you. Listen, I have no problem with the DJ. I was just wondering why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was deserved. On his birthday of all days.

Yes. On his birthday. The worst thing you can do to a son. That's called fucking family time. All right, boys. You guys all agree? Yes. Everything was fair and just.

It is trivia time. Yeah, it is trivia. Where's Jeff D? Wait, you guys all agree that I fucking... I drank 15. You drank 15. You drank 15. You drank 16 and Sass drank like...

Easily. Two or three. I was pounding beers. I think Sass had two. Sass had like... Yeah, he may have had... Sass just... Wait, turn the camera.

Sass knocked the giant golf ball off the tee out there. It's hard to do. Which is, nobody's ever done that. And Sass knocked the giant golf ball. No, let's get him putting it back on. Yeah, let's get him to do that. Sass just knocked the giant golf ball off the tee. Very

Atlas. And he let it go. Sass let it go, yeah. What just happened in there? He does our thumbnail. Billy! Billy, come in here. Garrett does our thumbnails. Billy, you proud of me?

Yeah. Who won? The booth. Wait, Sass, you're making Garrett? Hold on. The booth won. Shout out Garrett. They had six beers less.

Thank you, boy. Yeah. I tried to bring the ball in. I drank 15 beers. Sass drank nine. I drank 10. Nah, dude, bro, I beat you. How many did you put up? 18.

Dana didn't put up 18. Dana hasn't talked in fucking two hours. What are you going to say? What are you going to say? Dana, most people get wasted and talk more. What going to say? What are you going to say? Dana, most people get wasted and act and like talk more. What are you going to say?

You are. Dana just went cold. What else do you want? I don't know. I'm the Joker, baby. I have nothing else to say. Dana, say it.

Say it. Take a page from Sass's book. Say, I'm the Joker, baby. Come on, Dana. Even in his drunk state, he knows how shitty that is. Tell him how to do it.

Sass, give him a tutorial. Dana, it's like is. Tell him how to do it. Give him a tutorial. It's like this. I'm all so easy. I'm the Joker, baby. Don't make him say that. Don't make him say that. Boys, boys, boys, boys. Just show him how again.

I'm going to give Jeffy Lowe a call. I'm the Joker, baby. Yes, see what Jeffy Lowe is. Dana, say it or you're all screwed. Tell him how. You want him to say serious. Tell him how. You want him to say. Tell him how.

By the way, if anyone needs rides home. I slapped the fuck out of Dana. I slapped the fuck out of Dana. Dude, Dana gave me. You just slapped the fuck out of me. I'm going to give you two laughs. I can't wait to watch the real point of TJ slapping the fuck out of me. I'm good.

I don't know who. Jeff's phone is off. My jaw is going to be so sore. Oh, he's fucking good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah My jaw is going to be so sore. Oh, he's fucking good. Oh, yeah. Jeff's on talk mode. All right, no trivia. All right, for the Baker's Dozen round.

No, we have the trivia. We have the trivia. Come on, I'm going to call him one more time. One more happy birthday for the baby Jeff's making right now. For sure. Dana slapped me in the face on the same side. Joker, baby. I don't know how I won that.

And I'm the Joker, baby. One more, one more, one more. I don't know how I won that. And I'm the Joker, baby. One more, one more, one more. I don't know how I won that. How are these guys being dickheads to me right now on the internet? People can't handle it. What did I do to them? Nick. Nick, you just made a terrible mistake.

All right. Terrible. He did cross a line. Tell him what's up. Oh, you about to catch these motherfucking hands I wouldn't mind that That'd be a fun fight I would love to go slap wheel one on one against Nick

I would like that as well I'm putting your ass on the ground Let's go Let's go I'm joking And And And Let's go. All right. Slap wheel. I'm joking. I'm joking. Oh, no, no, no. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and it's my 21st birthday, and I'm well allowed to deny. You drank nine beers.

I drank 10 beers. You dick. No. Slap wheel. Hey. Do it TJ Hey dick cat I deny

What Can we also acknowledge It was Brandon's birthday yesterday Fuck Brandon I thought you'd remember Absolutely Fuck Brandon Shout out to Brandon

Let's go Brandon See Che gets wasted And just Let's go Brandon Che becomes like a normal dude Che Stellar performance tonight Yeah

Che Che I know He loves to grab another beer with you Still has his wits about him He's still empathizing Yeah, Che becomes like a normal dude. Che, stellar performance tonight. Yeah, Che. Che, no, nine beers. He still has his wits about him. He's still empathizing with the boys who aren't here. I could pretend to be a normal dude. Che, say something crazy, though. What about you getting hard? Yeah, Che, talk about your big man move.

Never mind. My big man move? Yeah, talk about that. I mean, I think you've got to get a few more incline reps to pull those off. Ah, Sass can do it Ah, Sas can do it. Sas can do it. Big Man Moves, you have the frame for it. You have the frame for it.

A little bit more mouth. Who are you talking to right now? You, dumbass. You. Joker. The Joker, yeah. Who? The Joker who?

You, the one talking. Say it. Say it. Tell him, yeah. You want me to say your full name? Say it. You got to say his full name. I'm the Joker.

Fox's bitch ass. Say it if you're Harry Settle. Yeah. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Say your full name say you gotta say his full name Everyone shut up Hank bleep up Brandon Hank bleeped out. Hold on. Everyone shut up. Oh. Brandon. Hey, big cat. You miss you, bro. It's a whole show. It means a lot coming from you.

It's all back to us. It was good. Dude, we're fucked up. I love your face, baby, but if you do, you look fucked up. Yeah. I am the warrior. You tell him I say I produce all the shows. Can I say something to Brandon real quick?

I said- Brandon, Sass has something to say. Yeah, Sass has something to say, Brandon. Give me the phone. Give him the phone. You're not- That was the weirdest one. Hey, Brandon, you ready for this?

Hold it into the mic. Hold it into the mic. Hold it into the mic. Brandon, guess what? What? I'm the Joker, baby! He liked it. He loved it.

That is classic sass. Oh, you don't know the half of it. Brandon, you missed... TJ fucking punched me in the face. I knew that was coming. And then I punched Dana in the face. I knew that was coming. And then I punched Dana in the face really hard. There was a lot of punches, Brandon. I'm very jealous of that as well.

You would have loved it. You would have loved it. We miss you. TJ says hi. We miss you. Hey, Brandon, you remember when we smoked weed by the pool together? That was awesome. Owen says, you remember when we smoked weed by the pool together?

Okay, well, my kid's in the car with me Yo Tommy what up Tommy your dad was high as fuck I'm Tommy Walker baby Crossing a line I may have given Caitlin A hundred dollars For no reason You did

She didn't need it That's fine That's fine Thank you so much. Brandon, we miss you, brother. We love you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, my dog.

You're huge. Star of the show, really. Congratulations about your house. Backstreet can still have a job. Please. Also, shout out Brandon. His dog didn't die. Shout out to him.

He didn't die yet. He got his dog back. And congrats on a new house. New house, maybe. What did he say? Yeah, the dog's fine. He tried to die, but he's fine. Yes.

Yes, and you prevented it. I can captivity. What did he say? Very close to a house. Yeah. Oh, Brandon. All right, we miss you, brother. Geographically, he is close to a house.

I love you, Brandon. Thank you so much for everything. He's adjacent to somebody's home. I'm close to a house right now. All right, we love you. Brandon, I didn't hear you wish me happy birthday. Huff that like whippets. Sass is spraying that like a guy who drank nine.

How's he missing all of us? Oh, he's getting it. Oh, boy. The most masculine thing you could be is being a birthday month guy. Yeah. Like Sil boy. The most masculine thing you could be is being a birthday month guy. Yeah. Like Silvana. Yeah. All right.

Oh, Lord. No, no. Let's see that thought through, Chaz. That was fair. I didn't finish. There's nothing to shut up about. No, Chaz. That was fair.

That was a fair shot. Okay. What else? What was the shot? What do you mean shot? Oh, this thing is dead. Hop. Now huff it.

All right. Let's spin the wheel again. Yeah, I think so. So we're on the- No, no, no. We got a wheel reset. We're done with the wheel. But also, yeah. Oh this thing is dead Hop Now hop it Alright Let's spin the wheel again I think so So we're on No no no We got a wheel reset We're done with the wheel Yeah we're done with the wheel

We have to do trivia For the loser Where's Jeff D. Lowe Hop Bro I drank fucking 15 You drank 9 I drank Slap sass

Slap him Slap him You have to slap sass Bro you don't even know How high I can fly. How high can you fly? I got four more beers in me right now. All right, do it.

People said I was gone. I'm saving it for my boys. I don't have anything left. I drank 15 Sass. You did drink 15. Sass drank nine. Why am I down on the 18? Why are these not refreshing?

All right, what do we have left to do? After Dana finishes 18, she's open five cents. Where's Jeff DeLowe? Okay, so Jeff isn't answering. He probably won't be here in the next 30 minutes. Shout out to Jeff. He might be fun. Shout out to Jeff.

I have the trivia. I texted with Jeff. We're going to answer. He's responding. Tell him he doesn't have to come. I told him. I told him. He knows that.

She is. He should. He knows it. No, well. Generous. I told him. He knows that. She is. He should. He knows it. No. Generous. So she can and he will not. That's the alpha thing of me. No, Danny, you don't have to keep drinking.

That's Jeff's whole thing. She will and he won't. My main question. You don't have to keep drinking. My thing is as long as I don't, then I'm good. You're good. So basically, Jeff's getting it all. You don't want to be stuck in it.

Race is over. Race is over. Shout out Revitalite. Saving our lives tomorrow. Look how much I've getting it. You don't want to be stuck in it. Race is over. Race is over. Shout out Revitalite. Saving our lives tomorrow. Look how much I've had, and I feel so much better. I think we can run this without Jeff. Is he not coming? It's Dana.

Based on the time, I would think, and his plans, I think he would not be here. What did he say? Dana versus David. I am not involved in this at all. Yeah. He responded two minutes ago asking how to go. I think he's going to be out, but we have the questions. We're good.

Dana did 17 plus. So it's me and Rowan versus KB and Owen for the risers. Yes, yes. It's Nick and Rowan. You just made a horrible mistake. Yes. Versus KB and Owen in trivia. Loser eats 10 Hershey's Sunday pies.

That's right. Yep, yep, yep yep which are in the fridge watch what happens when you get that fresh ass beer in your mouth stop sass you're getting fucking shit all over my water sass there's a happy birthday headdress in there put that on

sass stop please shake your ass where do we pass your water no no stop it sass stop screaming it's fucking gross it smells like past your water. No, no. Stop it. Somebody's got to clean this place, man. It's fucking gross. It smells like shit. Oh, man.

This is going to turn into a sass hate episode. No. What is making you think that, dude? That is not fair to yourself, dude. Be kind to yourself, dude. Why would anybody hate you after this episode? Zoom in on him. It doesn't make sense, sassy.

Zoom in on him. The sad j make sense, Sassy. Zoom in on him. The sad joker. Sassy. This is beautiful. Ate their sympathy by crying. Zoom in on him. This is your chance. Don't give him the finger.

It smells so bad. How much can I eat that? Yeah, yeah. Something about the way. I'm killing myself. Stop spraying it. Metaphorically. It smells so bad.

It smells so bad. Yeah, it is a weird funk. Gross, dude. All right. Stop spraying it. This is your guy's fault. It is trivia. Owen and KB versus me.

I'm going to give Jeff Zelo one chance. What? I'm 16 years old. You fool. I drank 16 beers. No. No. Don't keep upping the number.

You're right. 15. I think it actually doesn't matter. I think you can say 16 because it doesn't matter so little. I drank 10. Big Cat drank 14. There we go. And we're good.

Trey. Who won that wrestling match? Roan did. Fuck yeah, Roan. It's a run, guys. I mean, it was... That's a $10,000 win by Roan. That's badass. That's a big win for me.

Congrats to Ron. You won the slap wheel. I won the wrestling match. The booth won the case race. It feels like it happened seven years ago. And now we need to do this final trivia match, which we don't need Jeff D'Lo for. Do not need Jeff.

All right, Texas Jeff. We don't need it. It's going to be me and Nick against Owen and KB. Correct. And I believe that Owen and KB have a little bit of an upper hand on us. Not quite. Because Owen is sober, which we kind of. I don't think you lose, like, general intelligence.

You do. If it's like a logic trivia, if it's like a. You do. Dana! Whoa! Oh, shit. Mr. Input. There's the riff we've been waiting for.

The trivia is basic. There's one round where you're allowed to phone a friend. Okay, that's the fourth round. Wait, who's squatting over the fucking trash can? Rudy. Rude boy Yunda. Yeah, he's just bored. Rudy had a...

He's just giving his lower back a little bit of... Rudy's lumbar's been going... His lumbar's been going dumb. I bet if we're given the questions, we'll be able to... There's one round where you're allowed to call a friend. You'll know what round it is. Okay. Yeah, you... The phone a friend round? Maybe try to... Yeah, round five is the phone a friend.

Can I have a piece of pizza? By the way, so I... Yeah, we have pizza. Get him some pizza. We have lots of pizza. In the lobby. Rudy, go get them a pizza In the lobby Rudy go get them a pizza Go put your shirt on Yes Can I say one thing Of course

I never say nothing To everyone To everyone that said That I was going to pull our team down And everyone that doubted my ass. He did. No way. Yes, I did.

Fuck all y'all. Fuck all y'all. Fuck all y'all. Right here. Fuck all y'all. Fuck all y'all. Keep talking. We won still.

Yeah, that's a solid team right there. You guys all three did work. These are my brothers. They're laughing from outside the clubs, though. Happy birthday, Sass. Happy birthday to Sass. Say it one more time, Sass.

Happy birthday, Sass. Happy birthday, Harry. I love it, Zah. Happy birthday, Sass Say it one more time, Sass Happy birthday, Harry I love it, Zah Here goes Zah's statement For all those people who said I wouldn't drink 15 And Sass would drink 9 Fuck you I showed up You did

Talk your shit Talk that shit, Zah I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Let's get some trivia. Let's find out who has to eat pie. How does trivia work?

Do you have to buzz in or something like that? No, no. I think we each have a question for our teams. All right. All right. So we'll give those guys the first. We have to figure out who's team one and team two. They'll be team one.

That's how we'll figure that out. So Owen and KB are team one. That's right. Correct. And Nick and Rowan are team two. No, because if we're team one... We're team one. TJ.

Sass and I just... Wait, Sass had nine beers. Sass did have nine beers. Nine. Yeah, dude, you had nine. You had ten. Look, I don't give a fuck if I had nine or ten. I don't care.

We dominated. It's okay. You have maintained... Nine. Ten. Look, I don't give a fuck if I had nine or ten. I don't care. We dominated. It's okay. You have maintained. Versus 24, we were that. You've been funny. You've been great. You've been a great addition.

Yeah, I got nothing left. No, Dana, you're good. I got nothing left. Some pizza, Dana. I have nothing left. You don't need that anymore. You did great. You did great.

I have nothing left. You were the all-time vibes guy. You don't have to drink anymore. did great. I have nothing left. You were the all-time vibes guy. You don't have to drink anymore. And you were like the pacer. I'm absolutely destroyed. Oh, Dana, don't say that. There's no denying it. Oh, Dana, don't say that.

Timeouts reused. Who is who? Only two. I am fucked up. There is still timeouts if anybody needs to piss. I think our teams are good. Sass and Dana doesn't have to piss. I mean, Sass and Big Cat don't have to piss, and Dana doesn't have to piss.

We're good. We're good. All I smell is Sass' fucking spring. It smells bad. I don't know what I'm doing. You're good, and you've looked good. How long do you think until there's another mental health break that's just completely based on this episode's feedback for Sass?

Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I had a great time. Right now. Bro, I could be Sass' dad. Yeah? That's actually true. Well, no, you couldn't.

Brandon definitely could be. Yeah, I could. I'm 16 years older than him. You could be sassy dad. I love the guy. I love sassy. Which town, though, KB? Which town would it be most?

I love sassy. Which town? I fucking. Chillicothe, Zanesville, Ohio. I love sassy. Can you put it in Pennsylvania? Happy birthday to you. I can, I can.

Happy birthday to you. Where? Bellefonte. Happy birthday to you. Harry. I think it's Bellefonte. Happy birthday. And Chillicothe.

Yeah, that's right. Bellefonte. To you. Happy birthday. Bellefonte in Pennsylvania. Yeah, that's right. Bella Fallon. Who are you? Happy birthday. Bella Fallon in Pennsylvania. Oh, uh-oh. Are you a one? Are you two?

All right, let's get some trivia out of the way. All right. Who's team one? Owen and KB. All right. This is a question for team one. The category is dumb riddles. Dumb riddles. Yeah, yeah. Question one. I think we dumb riddles. Dumb riddles.

Question one. I think we're going to get smoked. What is the one thing that all wise men, regardless of religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth? Wait, wait, wait. You can't answer. You can't answer. You can't answer. That's their question. You can't answer. That's their question.

Sorry. Okay. So, is it like a wordplay? Heaven? You can't answer You can't answer That's their question You can't answer That's their question Sorry Okay So Is it like a word play? Heaven and earth Is the one EA Between heaven and earth Okay

Wise men This part of That's We have to Wise men Five Four Yeah

Fuck Three You guys know this? No Mer Mer Is it mer? Five Four Yeah fuck Three Do you guys know this? No Murr Murr Is that your final answer? Is that your final answer?

Yes For the steal Is it and? Oh my god One nothing Oh no we're fucked That was way too hyper That was way too hyper

One nothing Nick Young Alright our turn This question is for Nick and Ron Sure That was way too hyper. That was way too hyper. Nick Young. All right, our turn. This question is for Nick and Ron. Sure. I didn't like the... Dumb riddles. A cowboy rides into town on Friday.

He stays there three days, then rides out of town on Friday. Horse's name Friday. How? Horse's name Friday. No. Yes. Is that game? 2-0.

Okay, yeah. How many wins, TJ? Do you have an idea? Enjoy your pie, bitches. What did you say? How many wins? At this point, I will. How many does it take to win?

I want some pie, too. You did six questions. Four? It's a good thing we didn't get this. All right. This question is for Owen and KP. Come on, man. In the category easy sports.

Is that Paula Poundstone in the bottom? Yeah, this is all presented by Paula Poundstone. Name the two teams in the American League that don't end in the letter S. In the American League, Red Sox and White Sox. Yeah, those two. Final answer? Yep. Let's go, boys!

2-1. Hell yeah! All we have to do is get all the rest right. This question... S-O-C-K-S. It's for Nick. Sure. Same.

And Ron. Sure, thank you. Easy sports. Name the two teams in the Eastern Conference of the NBA with nicknames that don't end in the letter S. No, no, no. Eastern Conference. They said the Thunder and the Magic.

We didn't say final answer. Final that. It is the Magic and the Heat. Yes. Is that your final answer? Yes. I just stood up for the first time. I'm so fucked up.

We should do more shit together. 3-1? Yeah. Nick and Roan. Sure. This question is for Owen and KB. In the category fucking math. Oh, fuck.

17 minus 6 over 2 minus 4 times 3 equals what? Oh, my God. KB is getting... My brain just exploded. 14 times 12. Owen is sober. Owen is sober, Owen is sober. My brain just exploded.

168. Pindas, come on. Shut up, Zaha. Parentheses first. Shut up, Zaha. I'm not going to be a huge help here. Just tell me your final answer. I'm going to guess 168.

I think it's seven, right? Or no. Conference, you have 10 seconds. Oh, I thought that was a multiplication. Pindas, as the Americans say. Nine. Eight. Seven. I think it Oh, I thought that was a multiplication. 10-10. Shh. 9, 8, 7. I think it's 7. No, it's 1.

It's 1, 4, 3. I thought it was multiple. Hey, say final answer. Final answer. 7. I don't know how to check the final answer. Hold on. 2. 2. All right, first steal. Yeah, 6 to 5. on. Two.

Two. Two. Is that your final answer? That can't work. We heard them say two. Give me the pie. What is it? Four to one? I heard you guys say two.

I thought I did PEMDAS. You guys have a sober guy. For sure I did PEMDAS. You guys have a sober guy. For sure I did PEMDAS. Happy birthday, Sass. Six divided by two first. Four to one. 17 minus three, that's 14. This question is for Nick and Ro.

Sure, thank you. 15 plus eight over four minus nine over three. 17 minus three is 14, right? Yeah, final answer. What? You said 14. 14.

They said 14. They said 14. Oh, my God. Okay. It's 5 to 1. Is there a chance for us to win or is it statistics? Yeah, us getting six and it's over. If it's over, then...

I think if they get six, they clinch. I don't know for sure. I would like to not do like a... Tim's question is for Owen and... I don't want to do a shame walk. No, Owen and KB. In the category spelling but also movies. Harry, final answer.

Spell the name of the actor who is known for saying the phrase. My final answer is Harry. I promise my final answer is Harry. All right. Spell McConaughey. Oh, you just put it. I still can't see it. At least hit Harry.

Spell it. Spell Matthew McConaughey? Yeah. M-A-T-T-H-E-W-M-C-C. I don't know. O-U-G-H-E-Y. O-N-A-U-G-H-C-C I don't know. O-U-G-H O-N A-U-G-H-E-Y

That can't be it. Let's go, boys. Not the answer that flashed on the screen. That's what I said, right? It's such a coincidence that it was the answer. I apologize. I can't read that. Five to two. Spell the name of the actor who is known for being in the popular film series Home Alone.

Wait, they got Matthew as a first name. We have Macaulay. Stop complaining to me. I don't do anything with these guys. What the fuck? Oh, my God. I know it. M-A-C.

It's Paul Poundstone. Hold on. Give me a final answer. It's M-A-C. No. M-A-C. A-U-L-E-Y. It's first and last name.

So, I'm listening. A-U-L-E-Y. C-U-L-K-I-N. I don't know how to answer it. Let's say it again. And if you're not 21... Yep, yep, yep. No.

No, they didn't say A-Y. We did. Give us the pie. I'm hungry. You want the pie? No, they didn't say A-Y. We did. Give us the pie. I'm hungry. Wait, no, Sass, you're not asleep, are you? Yeah, Sass is asleep. Oh, no, little Sass watch.

That's the guy who drank nine beers. Nine beers, sleep. Happy 21st, Sass. Big Cat, I drank as much as you, and you're like 700 pounds bigger than me. What is it, 62? 62? You waking up from a blackout sleep. You're 16 years younger than me. You could still tie Owen and KB.

All right. I love you. I love you. In the category, this is the category you're allowed to call it. Oh, sure. In the category, this is the category you're allowed to call it. Oh, sure. And the category, this is something Riggsie might know. What is the name of the school newspaper on campus at Harvard University for Owen and KB? You're allowed to call during this category.

It's famous. The Harvard Lampoon. Final answer. Harvard Lamp, is it, you think? No, it's Crimson something. No, yeah, yeah. It'samp, is it, you think? No, it's Crimson something. No, no, no. It's, uh. What'd you say?

The Harvard Lampoon. Is that your final answer? The other one. What do you mean, the other one? You said name of publication. Crimson Lampoon? Yeah. Is that your final, what's your final answer?

Crimson Lampoon. You know that? Crimson Lampoon. I don't think, but. Crimson Lampoon. Harvard Lampoon. No. Hey, what the fuck?

Let's say Crimson Lampoon. Harvard Crimson. No, I've heard it before. Let's say the Crimson. It's the Harvard Crimson. Is it? Yes, it's the Harvard Crimson. Yeah.

Rona's like, we're having an engine of a motorbike. All right, it's over. Give us the No no no Let's get our question Question for KB Nick and Roney Oh my god In the category

This is something Riggs you might know Who did Tiger Woods defeat To win his 12th and final major championship Of the 2000s At the 2008 US Open You can call on this category I don't have Riggs' number Let's not call

Call me Call me What's the guy that Acted like Spider-Man on the green? Camillo Villagas. Camillo Villagas. Final answer. Alright, yes.

Good job. I lied. It's two buttons, boys. KB and Owen. Ernie Els, Vijay Singh. Both of them, they tied for this. Call me. I would like to, Vijay Singh. No, no, you can call me. Both of them, they tied for this. Call me. I know the answer. I would like to call Vijay.

Vijay, my dad's favorite goal ever. Your phone-a-friend starts now. I would like to call Vijay. What's a big time? Okay, your phone-a-friend starts now. Say it out loud. We don't have our phones, so I'll go get it. Say it out loud.

Or you could let me just ask. Call me. The answer is Rocco Mediate. It's Rocco Mediate. I know. Give him the points. I knew that. It's Rocco Mediate. It's Rocco Mediate. Oh. I know. Give him the points. Oh. I knew that. It's Rocco Mediate.

Why is it easier for you to say it than Big Cat? He knew it, too. Tiger had a broken leg. There's questions for... I was asking Big Cat. Eight, three. There's questions for KB and Owen. Shout out Revitalite.

There are four states that start with the letter A. And the last three sorted alphabetically. What? And the last three letter A states sorted alphabetically. The last, what does that mean? There are four states that start with the letter A. Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, finally. Yeah, is that what you were saying?

Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, in that order. I thought you were talking about the last three. No, the last three, that's not. That's correct. Last three of the four A states. Oh, I were talking about the last three. The last three? That's not correct. Last three of the four A's. Oh, I thought you meant the last three letters. The first one is Alabama. The next one is Alaska.

Yeah. Eight to four. Those questions for Nick and Ron. Shout out Revitalite. Saved my life. Yep. There are four states that start with the letter W. Name the last three alphabetically.

What are we talking about? Wyoming. If you're not 21, look at your professional. West Virginia. Do not try this at home. West Virginia, Wisconsin. Do not try this trivia question at home. How many did they say? There's four or three?

Three alphabetically. The last four of the four. There's four Wyoming states, the last three alphabetically. Wait, how many Wyoming states are there? There's four W states. West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. There, how many Wyoming states are there? West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. There's four of them, so there's another one.

Yeah, that's right. Alright, cool. 9-4, final score. KB and Owen lose. Get the pie. Can we get one of your slices of pie? Yeah.

For competing. Get the pie. Get the pie. Can we get one of your slices of pie? Slice of pie for competing. Thank you. Get the gat. I'm so fucked up. I kind of feel good. I kind of feel like I still have it. Like I haven't overextended myself in a way I didn't want to.

Are we going out? Data Beers hasn't spoken in fucking an hour. I know. Why do you think? Me and Chad are going out? Data Beers hasn't spoken in fucking an hour I know Why do you think? Me and Che are going out He's doing signals He's doing Navy SEAL signals

Che and I are going out Che, where do you want to go? What? Where do you want to go? You guys are going out You have to It's not where you go It's who you're with

You know what I mean? Go out. Yes. I'm down. Wait, Tass, you were just sleeping like one minute ago. Were you? Did you drink nine beers? Did you slumber?

Fuck you. No, you drank. Are we going to karaoke tonight? I love this guy. You guys are. Booty club. I just texted my brother. You guys want to do karaoke right now?

Tass, we low-key did the most impressive job because they had three guys, and we fucking beat them. No one thought I would drink more than two beers. Well, you only did drink two beers. Big Cat drank the rest of them, and you drank two beers. What is that? TJ's got the pie. The pies. It's pie day night.

All right, let it pass. Sunday, Sunday. For each. It's pie day night. All right, little pies. For each. Sunday. For each. Friday night. I want one myself. Something about the pie day. Something about the pie day.

Just give them right to Owen. Owen, you did so good, bro. Owen, give us our grades as far as how we did. Rank our drunks. Shout out to Owen. As far as how manageable they are. Yeah, rank our manageable drunks. I've to Owen. As far as how manageable they are. Yeah, rank our manageable drunks. I've had a

blast, dude. That's so much fun. I love them. That's been great. Did we get a wheel reset? We got a wheel one more time, though. Oh, you're right. We do have to spin after a wheel reset. Oh my god.

Big Cat is right. As fucked up as he is, the wheel is in my hand. You're fucked. You're funny. Dude, I'm so fucked. Okay. Big Cat, you're naughty. You're naughty.

I like this turn. I like this arc. Fellas, I'm shitting my pants and pissing my pants as we speak. Thank you. Thank you. Dana, you're an all-star. Thank you for listening. Dana's an all-star. Why am I now?

I turned it to a mime, and it's not just Dana. You haven't spoken. I was here for one reason, to drink. It hasn't spoken. What did I do? Exactly, you drank. And that's why I said you're a goat. And that's exactly what't spoken. What did I do? Exactly. You drank. And that's why I said you're a goat. And that's exactly what I meant.

It hasn't spoken. We don't want to talk about it. Nothing. It hasn't spoken in an hour. Not a fucking thing. We don't want to talk about it. Not a thing. What's that song?

All right, so we're not leaving until these guys eat four pieces of pie each. But you can hand one off to me and Nick, though, because we want to share one. Yeah, we want to share one. Also, spin that wheel. Shout out to everyone who's watching this. Shout out to the Yak fans. Subscribe. Please no slap.

I feel like there's animosity. I thought my jokes were bad. How about a magic trick? Can I just say something about the magic trick? I just say something about the slap wheel. Oh, they just muted me. I just actively saw Zah muting me. No, no, no. I was upping the volume.

I was trying to figure out who's... Bro, you usually sit where Dana is. So when I hear your voice, I think of Dana. So I need to see the mic. I got you boosted. It's all love, bro. So put it right by the mic. Why so serious?

I saw my jokes for bad. Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off. Now that type of shit. And now maybe one more time for the listeners at home. We're gonna make this pencil. This pie tastes like Burger time for the listeners at home. We're in a dead show, bro. I got one right here. This pie tastes like Burger King meat.

That's because it is Burger King meat. No, it tastes like it was sitting next to Burger King meat. What's that gonna say? You're about to do the beer count. Oh, what I was gonna say was I'm so fucked up I forgot everything about the slap wheel. Are we still staying in your suite?

All I know is that TJ fucked me up and I fucked Dana up. That's all I know. We have to spin the wheel one more time. That's a fucked me up. I fucked you up? You fucked me up too, to be honest. I feel my left jaw hurts, so I know I got slapped. My jaw hurts as well.

Yeah, Che fucked me up. I know I got slapped, but I don't know by who. I feel like I won. Dana hit me twice in the same cheek. It happens. KB cleaning. It does happen. Might work. You're right, Dana.

I'm going to lay down and fall asleep right here. That's what I'm saying. I also think this might be the most eatable pie. Of all the pies we could have gotten, this is very light. Dude, I'm telling you. You could eat this thing post-surgery. Slaps, huh, TJ? Yes.

Is it best fast food? TJ, spin the wheel. All right. You're going to slap. Spin it twice. No. All right, Sass. Yes.

Stop, Sass. Stop. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Beer bath him. We have, Sass. Yes. Stop, Sass. Stop. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Beer bath him. We have to order food. We have to order food. We have to order food.

Just hit the food wheel. We have to order food. All right, go to the food wheel. We have to order food. Sass, stop fucking spraying. God damn it, boys. Sass, if you spray that again, I will slap you. I can't help myself.

It smells so bad. I'm the joker, baby. Oh, my God. If you had drank 15 beers, you'd feel the same way. Oh, pussycat. We have to order food. God damn it. What can we even order?

You know what's open? It's kettle of fish. Let's head there. Guys. We have to order food. What do you think? Should we do food or should we do three more wheels? We have to order food.

What the hell is that? Get that away from me now. Why? Are you scared to have your third beer of the night? I finished my beers. I don't need another beer. Sass, if you spray that again, I will slap you. I'm not going to spray it again.

That's a warning. Hey, BC. Smells toxic. That's not going to happen. It smells toxic in here. BC. Sass, spray it again. Sass, spray it again.

I'll slap you. Sass, Sass, fuck it's my teammate and my lover. No, fuck that. What the fuck? I didn't get any string on me. We're broke for life. What the fuck? We're broke for life. Sass, you don't fuck? I didn't get any string on me. That one broke for life. What the fuck? Sass, you don't fuck with me, I have no string on me.

Spray it again, Sass. If you spray it again, I'll suck you. You can't even handle the smoke. Sass, dig through that bag. Bro, there's shit in there, bro. There's more shit in there for Sass. There's sunglasses in there for you. There's fucking...

So bad. Yeah, yeah, get in there. Spray that thing, Sass. Oh, my God. Who? Oh, no. Dude. Shit their pants.

Who, KB? KB, you... I have no idea how this show's going to turn out. Fuck y'all. I had four Hershey pies. No, you haven't. There ain't no way you're farting. Did you guys finish?

Oh. What you... It was? Oh, man. What you? You're wet, dude. Yeah, what you want? What y'all want? What you want, boys? Oh, what you want?

What you want? Dude, there's no way you're... What? That's so bad. I'm puke. I'm puke. I'm puke. I'm puke. Four Hershey's.

Yeah. Hershey's. Fuck you guys. I'm puke. Caught it. Caught it. I'm going to throw up. We're done.

We're done. I'm going to throw up. That's off she wrote. That is just horrible. It smells so bad. That was so loud. To be honest, I don't even smell horrible. It smells so bad. That was so loud. To be honest, I don't even smell it. Yeah, it was.

And if I did, I bet it smells. I'm going to puke. Oh, God. So bad. Oh, no. Please end on a. You have to order food or spend three more times. Let's go out.

Hey, we're going to spend three more times. TJ. No. I don't give a fuck. Let's go out. TJ, we're going. Let's fucking go. It's us. Nikki, we got to spin three more times. TJ. No. I don't give a fuck. Let's go out. TJ, we're going out. Let's fucking go, Sass. Nicky.

Look out. Remember when Dave was on the show? That was crazy. That was wild. All right, we spin three more times. No food places are open right now. We're not spinning three more times. No food places are open right now.

We just gave the viewers like a six-hour episode. Spin three more times, TJ. For whatever. Dadass, y'all crazy loyal. It's midnight right now for those that are watching. All right, spin three more times, TJ. It's got to be Quigs, doesn't it? Yep.

Dude, Dana hasn't spoken in a fucking hour. What are you talking about? We're spinning three times instead of the food I know what's going down No food places are open right now It's after midnight So three spins is totally fair I can't believe we haven't done that

Quit it Quit it. Quit it. All right, one more spin. One more spin and we're in the clear. All right. Oh, he farted too. No, no, no, no, no. This is the same. Oh, fuck.

What is it? Can't be done. Don't want to get wet. Can't be done. All right, dry. We're good. We're good. That's three spins.

We'll get food We're good. That's three spins. We'll get food Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also rewatched the Big Cat Dana slap. You slapped him twice. You slapped him once to the left, once to the right. That's correct. That's what I was supposed to do. Are you guys mad that we didn't get wet?

He did the right thing. Wet! Also, shout out to the boys in the booth. Jack Mac's just leaving. They've been watching us all night. Shout out to the boys in the booth. Sorry, guys. No wet wheel today.

That's another win for Sam. I'm down to get wet. Thank you to Quigs, Max, Tyler. Shout out my mom. Spider. Hank. Hank's watching it. Garrett.

Shout out Dave. DeJulio, Emrag sticking around. We got... Shout out Sass for drinking nine beers. Shout out Sass. Shout out Dave. And Sass, it's your birthday. Sign us off.

Yeah. Let's have Dana say something. No, no, no. Sign us off. Dana, give us something. Everyone, shh. Let's have Dana say something. Yeah, I was going to say Dana. No, no, no. Sign us off. Dana, give us something. Are these chicken fingers they've been here the whole time? Hey, everyone, shh. Shh.

All right. Dana. This right here is for my boy, Quigs. Run, get out of the way. Quigs, thank you so much for all you do. Thank you so much for allowing us to do what we got to do. More importantly. Thank you, Sass. Let's fucking go. Yeah. More importantly than you Sass Let's fucking go

More importantly than you boys Let's fucking go Let's fucking yeah One more sign off Go to me Go to me Go to me Happy birthday to you

No no That's not what I want That's not what I want Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Brad Boyd. Happy birthday to you. I'm the Joker, baby. Shout out to Revitalite.

It's the only thing that's going to save me tomorrow. 21 and up. I have to be a parent tomorrow, and I'm going to drink Revitalite, and I'm going to be a parent. So that's shout out Revitalite. We love Revitalite. Wait, go to Dana. Go to Dana.

Shout out Heath Ledger. Revitalite, I fucking love you. Where's the fucking mic, Dana, you idiot? Revitalite, on a scale of 1 to 10. I would bang you when it's a 10 Doesn't even matter yeah, and if you're drunk you'd bang it out a fucking for love you. I love you. I love you I love you. You're the best of the best Let's finish with some karaoke Yeah, oh man Wait, let's finish with some karaoke. Yeah? Yeah. Piano man.

Piano man. Piano man. Piano man. Piano man. Oh, no, no, no. Give me a song. Give me a song. One karaoke.

You heard that song getting bad. This is Sinead O'Connor. Good talk. DJ, get it. What's the song? What's the song? Yeah. Sinead O'Connor.

What's the song? Nothing Compares to You. Nothing. Like, what time is this on Friday? Like, if this started at 1 o'clock. We have to this started at 1 o'clock. We have to air this at 5 o'clock. Yeah, something like that. 5 o'clock on Friday right now.

Everyone sit down. We're doing one fucking karaoke. No, no. Do one headlight. If you're watching this right now, go back and rewatch this. One headlight. One headlight. One headlight.

All right, everyone get in here. Dana! I'm six feet under here, and I'm thinking, maybe now six feet ain't so far. Rowan, catch. It'd be a good look. Shout out Revitalite. Fucking best in the business.

I love them so much They're gonna save my life tomorrow Check it, check it, check it Alright, I see you Alright, here we go Here we go, everyone sit in their seat Austin Alright, here we go Austin!

Alright, here we go. Where was the town? Long ago, I don't remember when When they say I lost my only friend. Well, they said she died easy, broken heart disease. I listened to the cemetery scene. Oh, musical break. Musical break for a minute. I've seen the sun.

Let's all get it going. Let's all get it going. Watch out, Dana. I see the sun coming up at the funeral at dawn. Love alone, broken heart. It was love. It always seems such a way. She's always been brief.

I wonder why she hung up on us. Is this a real Slim Shady? Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go, boys. Yeah! Yeah! Go, go, go!

Try a little. Nothing is forever. It's got to be something better than in the middle. Me and Cinderella, we put it all together, we can drive it home. With one headlight. With one headlight. She said it's cold, it feels like Independence Day And I can't break away from this parade

Let's go, Owen. There's gotta be an opening somewhere In front of me, cause I'm mad You see a sign of pain But this country's not for you to see All is good and nothing is as dead Uh-oh, uh-oh, trouble's coming. Uh-oh. Hey!

Come on, try a little. Nothing is forever. It's got to be something better than in the middle. Not a Cinderella. Put it all together, we can drive it home. One in life. I love you guys. I love you guys. Thank you.

Happy birthday. I'm the Joker, baby. People. Oh, we're not done. This place is all hello. Did you long December County Crows? Can you do Long December County Crows? Can we please do Long December County Crows?

Yeah, do Piano Man. Fucking do Piano Man. This place is always such a mess. Do Piano Man. I never want this night to end. This place is such a mess. It won't help. Maybe the yeomans were cleaning up. on this night to end. This place is such a mess. KB. Wild Hill.

Maybe the yeomans were cleaning up. KB, throw on the TTs. The TT, what? Oh, you know what I mean. Oh, the twin. Tiny temper? Throw on the TTs and then call it.

Throw on the no. Get it. I can't. Do it. No, no, no. I'm going to fucking make the most of it. I paid.

Yeah, no, we're going to do it for a whole episode. You did pay top dollar. Earn it Monday. So come on, little mama. Make me try forever. Yes, you know who you wrote the kettle of fifth. All right, boys. I think that's it, boys.

That's it. No. We done did it. We're singing this. Good work. This is my last birthday wish I'm singing piano man It's five o'clock on a Saturday

KB sit your ass down now Now John at the bar is a friend of mine Oh Che's got it He gets me my drinks Wait wait let Che read the words No no I want to hear it No man sitting next to me Making love to his tonic and gin

Hell yeah Steve Out of the way Che Tell me now He says son can you play me a memory Out of the way, Che. Tell me now. He says, son, can you play me a memory? Out of the way. I'm not really sure how it goes. Proud of you. It's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete.

When I'm wore a younger man's clothes. Ooh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Well, we're all in the mood for a melody. And you got us feeling all right. Sass, you got to clean up all the silly string, buddy. Fuck you. I'll clean it up. Hey. Now John at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke

Or to light up your smoke But there's some place that he'd rather be Yes, sir He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me As a smile ran away from his face well I'm sure that I could be a movie star if I could get out of this place La-di-da. La-da. La-di-da. One more time. Now Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife.

And he's talking with Davey, who's still in the Navy, and probably will be for life Oh la la la la la la And the waitress is practicing politics As the businessmen slowly get stoned Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness. But it's better than drinking alone. Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Where are you boys going?

I'll pick up the spade on my way. Sing us a song, you're the piano man Sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you got us feeling all right. Good crowd for a Saturday. And the manager gives me a smile. Because he knows that it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while it sounds like a carnival and the microphone smells like a beer

and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here? Sing us a song You're the piano man Sing us a song Tonight We're all in the mood For a melody And you got us feeling Alright

Happy fucking birthday, Sass. www.carafun.com Alright, boys. We'll see you out at the pub. Cheers. Subscribe. Bro, still yak on you. I'm the Joker, baby!

Thank you. That's been the Axe Case Race. I hope you had as much fun as we had. Thank you. That's been the Axe Case Race. I hope you had as much fun as we had. And God bless. We trot our ass off. Owen, Stone Cold Sober. We busted our ass.

We did something here tonight. Maybe. Or maybe you hate us all and you'll never watch again. But subscribe to that thing on YouTube. And for now, it's the app We love you all. 10X, one love. Thank you. Damage is Zimba on TikTok if you're still there.

Do it.