The Yak - Case Race Part 6: The Royal Rumble | The Yak 6-21-24

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

The Drunkest Case Race EverYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, Koozit, hold that up. Hello. There's our ice. There it goes. That was my gluten-removed beer. Oh. Why were there only three of them?

Because they're like 80%. There they go. Oh, I hope those are. I hope they are. Or else I'm going to be sick. Rollback.com. Promo code YAK. Oh, I hope those are. I hope they are. Or else I'm going to be sick. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase.

Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. Boys. First of all, congratulations to Brandon last night winning the Dunn. And finally. Congrats. Oh, man. That's right. He beat Uptown Balls. You guys won what?

14-8? Oh. Wow. God damn, buddy. I know it's been a long time. This has been a... Speech! Speech! You gotta say something. Speech! Speech! Champs champ. I thought

the standing ovation I got last night really meant a lot to me. You cried. I did a little bit. I didn't want to tell everybody, but behind the scenes I did kind of cry. That moment I have with Titus, truly special. Special. I'll remember that the rest of my life. What was the snacks and candy pool you had?

It was about the sour cubed Wonka candy. That's right. Similar to spree what's the answer what you say oh man you know i'll let pft answer that yeah shock tarts yeah it's incredible it was great yeah thank you or fuck god damn it terry pendleton in the first round. That sucked. No, that was a great pull. Oh, you got that. You got that. That was a great pull.

Terry Pendleton. Who the fuck? That was like 30 years ago. Yeah. No, but I was a big Braves fan back then. Flubber? Yeah, crazy. You got Flubber.

Flubber. That's one of Robert Williams' best. Yeah, it's had the box office. I thought it was Patch Adams. Oh, man. You're the man, Brandon. You are. You are the man.

Or, fuck. Yeah. the man, Brandon. You are. You are the man. Or fuck. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it. There's Roan. Hey. Roan, we were just congratulating Brandon on winning the dozen, the championship. Long time coming.

Thank you, Roan. You already did this, though. It means a lot. Huge. Oh. Ride him. Ride him. Oh.

Yay. Okay. Incredible. He smells him. Oh. Yay. Okay. Incredible. He smells good. Incredible. All right, so we're taping this portion in the afternoon, but we're on the precipice of case race six. Case race six.

I would have guessed there were three. Six? It's five. Why did I say six? I think it's five. There's been four. TJ? Six. Six? Six? No. Why did I say six? I think it's five. There's been four. TJ? Six?

Six? Six? No. When was five? I think people count the tank race in their mind sometimes. They get that confused with the case race. That's not a case race. That's a tank race.

That was not a case race. We're due for a tank race. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do the recipe. The tank race was a horrendous experience. We did the tank race live. I just remember throwing up four different times during the tank race. a horrendous experience. We did the tank race live. I just remember throwing up like four different times during the tank race.

Like cool. Yeah. 80,000 calories. Oh, we did do the tank race live. We did. That was very stupid. Better almost, the tank race. I bloat.

You know that. You and me both, brother. You bloat. You know that about me. Wait, so case race three, four? That's when Che and and and gillis fought that might have been give me the bullet points of each one yeah all right so one was awesome joker baby was that i'm the joker one yeah and one was fun two was a downer for everyone

yes what happened that was shane and shay have we had a good one since one? Yeah. The last one we did, no, that was Rico Brandon. Yeah. Damn. And it was also everybody was so conscious of not being a spaz on camera. Three was good. We muted our. No one let loose. No, three was good.

You're right, because three was the redemption arc of Che. Yeah. Shane. Yeah. Cupcakes. And Brandon. Cupcakes was four? I thought that was four.

I thought cupcakes was three. No, cupcakes was three, because Rico and me was four, wasn't it? Cupcakes was three. Rico Brandon. Cupcakes was four? I thought that was four. I thought cupcakes was three. No, cupcakes was three because Rico and me was four, wasn't it? Cupcakes was three. Rico, Brandon was five. I don't know who won really any of them. Hank was four. Actually, are these any good? No.

Uh-oh. I just, every time we have one go, I just, I like will tweet out a bunch bunch of clips and promo, but not look at anything else. No. These almost feel like our premiere episodes. And when people ask me what I do, I'm like, oh, I do a daily show, but the Cornerstone is the case race. And they're like, I should watch it. I was like, no. No.

Please don't. It's the worst one to watch. Please don't. Who's, Titus, your first case race? First case race. Who? Who's first case race? No, Kate's been. No, she was pregnant last first case race? First case race. Who? Yep. Who's first case race? No, Kate's been, no, she was pregnant last time.

Kate, you've been on a case race? She drank like 15 beers. I did the cake race. Cake race. Cake race. And tank race, you were pregnant, but you still didn't stop you from boozing. No, a lot. Yeah, you were really throwing it back.

Yep. Are you, are you good drinkers, you boys? I can booze. Mook can booze. I can booze. I feel like Titus can. Yeah. Oh, Titus is really good, yeah.

I don't know. I can't drink vodka can. Yeah. Oh, Titus is really good. I don't know. You just throw yourself into it, though. One of the special guests is that chick that you went on a fake date with. Great. Yeah, and I fucked her right after this. Oh! No, no, after the case race. Oh, okay.

Talking about future. But did you? No. We'll ask again tonight. We'll ask after one beer. Last time I drank on air here at Barstool was Friday. One of the Friday shows we did and I missed the next

day. Yeah, you did. You missed the Saturday? No, it was... Oh yeah, we obviously recorded it. It was a Hennessy Friday. Yeah. Henny Friday and you went hard. Oh yeah, I remember that. That was as drunk as I've ever been in my life. Was it the Christmas? You missed the Yak too, I think. Was it the Christmas one? Was that the Christmas episode christmas yeah taliban jacket the tongue came out what like

30 minutes in yeah well we were we were everybody was the glass was about you know a quarter gone and you were you were pouring yeah that's the scouting report on me um i will probably drink i will sprint out of the gates uh it is a marathon and by mile one and a half, I will be dying. But you'll never stop sprinting. Yeah, I'll never stop sprinting. That's ideal though. That's what you want. We'll see how it translates tonight.

I'm going to fall hard tonight. I'm just going to go for it. You're going to drink a ton, I think. I don't want to put too much pressure on you, but you should just go be a fucking legend. You should go be a fucking legend every time you tell me to do that i fail dramatically yeah but that works out for us too yeah we want that yeah yeah i could be your doormat that's what i am so we will we'll see what happens i'm nervous but i'm gonna go hard why are you nervous uh i don't know i've never case raced with you guys before,

and I've never been – I guess I was drunk Friday on camera, but tonight I'm going to – I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen. Don't be nervous. So if you're taking Sass's spot, you're going to have to say some words. Yeah. Word. Yeah.

Oh, that one. A lot. Okay. I heard Sass use that as a strategy. Well, yes. He didn't like anything that was being said. He would just carpet bomb slurs. Yeah.

Okay, I'll keep that in my back pocket. He stopped drinking, but he still has a lot of slurs. No carpet bombing. Once you pick that up, it's like heroin. It's the hardest thing to quit. I went to rehab for it, yeah. The withdrawals from slurs are crazy. I have an earache.

I got an earache going on today. I haven't had one ever. You've never had an earache? First earache. What's going on? You've got a worm in your ear. Explain your symptoms. It's like a sharp pain that comes intermittently.

Yeah, real sharp. In the ear or like a lobe? Shake your head real quick. You got fluid? No. Did you do any cannonballs lately? I haven't done any cannonballs. It just came on this morning.

Is it akin to the airplane ear feeling? No. No. There's no wobble wobble. I would take a sinus medication. Are you allergic to us? Definitely not. Okay.

My allergies have cleared up. But the ear, it's all ear now. You're not trying to be a big fat pussy, are you? Ear, nose, throat? Not you. I want to pour something into it or something to try and just flush it all out. Well, one of your beers can be just right into your ear. Ear beers?

Ear beer! You can have one glass of lean. Can I double cup? Yeah. Lean race. A lean race would be amazing. That's a good way to die. I've never heard anybody dislike lean people yeah yeah it's always yeah that's the response every time what do you do when you're drunk like what's the thing like you go dancing or you

uh what's the vibe remain very soft okay um upset fall asleep Fall asleep. Oh, that's fine. Puke. I'll throw something at Nick usually. Yeah, and I'll see it coming, but I'll keep my hands down because I know it'll ruin Roan.

That was actually your fault. He's going to learn today. I forgot that's your fault. Did you get hit while wearing the Ukraine flag on your face? No. Your glasses on that day.

Oh. Which made it way, way worse. Yeah. My glasses. Adam White. Alright, let's do the rules. What do we got? Well, before we do that, game time. Did you know you can get tickets to the Mets at Cubs

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For $20 off your first purchase terms, apply. Download the Game Time app today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Okay, you want the rules? What y'all giggling at? Ron opened up my journal Why do you have your journal? I use it for scrap paper

And it was just a page that says Pontius Pilate and it's an angry ass looking Pontius Pilate flying at two crosses That was your 9-11 Pokemon flying at two crosses. That was your 9-11 Pokemon.

That was personal, man. That's why I put my deepest darkness. He's so angry. He's so pissed. Yeah, he's mad. Like Amelia Earhart playing. Just sticking out the top of it. Like Snoopy. Oh my God.

That wasn't meant for you. That's silly. Very silly. Anyways. Anyways, the rules, the rules, the rules. The rules. Okay, here are the rules. We are going to have the start of the case race. right after this connor griffin will do an intro

video connor griffin will be standing here bruce buffer style brandon walker will be our ref and then we are going to start the royal rumble where we have uh one person from team a one person from team b enter and sit down and then the clock. So they'll, they'll have a two beers that Brandon will pour that will be sitting right there. Team a and TB people come in, they cheers, they drink the beer. As soon as they finish their first beer,

the clock will start for the next person. So five minute clock. And then we will do it again. When the five minutes are up, two people will come in again, start drink the beers, start the next five-minute clock. So we'll do that until we have 8v8. The first eight people in the room will be us eight.

The next eight will be our guests. I love that. And then it will become 8v8, and we will be drinking. Once it's full 8v8, it will be 20 minutes of drinking, and then we start eliminating via the wheel. So the first part is not via wheel. And we will be drinking, once it's full, 8v8, it will be 20 minutes of drinking. And then we start eliminating via the wheel. So the first part is not via wheel, it's coordinated entrance. We have the team set up.

The second part will be completely random. We will be eliminating a member of each team every five minutes from via the wheel until we are down to 1v1 for a final five minutes. But if you get eliminated, you can stay in the room, but your drinks don't count? Yeah, you can stay in the room and cheer. Yes, right, exactly. Okay. Is there a way to... What if one team gets off to a big lead?

Is there a way to curb that or something like that? I'm asking. I'm not suggesting. Yes, there actually is. Shells or something? Like the blue shell. No, we have a wrinkle that we're using. Really?

Oh my God, don't fucking tell me Deutsch. It's Deutsch. No! It's Deutsch. What are we talking about, Deutsch? It's Deutsch. I was so afraid you were going to say Deutsch. What is Deutsch?

It's Ronnie Deutsch. Ronnie Deutsch? Ronnie Deutsch. I was so afraid you were going to say Deutsch. What is Deutsch? It's Ronnie Deutsch. Ronnie Deutsch? Ronnie Deutsch, the fastest chugger. Oh, I've seen this, man. What? Is he here? Ronnie Deutsch is going to be here. Oh, my God.

Didn't he take you down? Yeah, he took me down. This is Ronnie Deutsch. He's amazing. This is the guy from that? Yes. This is Ronnie Deutsch. Is he selling a guy from Matt. Yes This is Ronnie Deutsch Is he selling a quarter with that Zen? Oh

This is Ronnie Deutsch I had no idea the man is That's a blue shell that is a blue shell So here's how it's going to work. That's unbelievable. Oh, no. Ronnie George will be here. What the Ronnie? Break glass in case of need for George.

If either team falls behind by, TJ, we said 10, I think maybe 8. I'm so scared of his power. I think he could put down 10 beers in no time. 10. 10. All right. So if either team falls behind by. The problem is, will a team fall behind by 10?

Right. Well, if you're down by six, why not go down by 10? Go down by 10. Well, because there's a wrinkle on the Deutsch. You have a Deutsch wrinkle? No, by Deutsch. So what do we say? Nine?

Let's say nine. Nine? Nine, 10's say nine. Nine? Nine, ten. Nine beers. If any team falls behind by nine beers, there's a Deutsch wheel that the team that is trailing can spin. And on the Deutsch wheel is two slices of a minute of Deutsch, two slices of two minutes of Deutsch, two slices of three minutes of Deutsch, and then a slice that says minus three beers. Wow.

The Deutsch wheel has been made. The Deutsch wheel has been made. So your team can spin the Deutsch wheel. Now, it is interesting because if you get minus three beers, you can then spin it again. So Deutsch would just have more. Three minutes of Deutsch maybe, I don't even know how much he can do.

Three minutes of Deutsch is just a game over. He could do a case probably. But he has to. He can't. That's like catching the golden snitch. He still has to pour his own beers, so it can't be, you know. Yeah, he has to pour his own beers.

I forgot about that. Yeah. He's got to pour his own beers. I love this. I love this. Deutsch is great. Deutsch will be dressed up. Yeah? Yeah. Of course.. I love this. Deutsch, Deutsch. This is great. Deutsch will be dressed up. Yeah?

Yeah. Of course. Oh, my God. It's Deutsch. I was so afraid when you said there was a wrinkle. I was like, oh, my. This is my worst. He's Deutsch.

It's Deutsch. So that will hopefully keep it that we can have a thrilling ending. Yeah. Because any team that gets down by nine will get Deutsch. Deutsch. Yeah. And then that team will, in theory, be a little bit fresher because they'll have had nine fewer beers. Oh, so you could use Deutsch multiple times.

Anytime you dip below nine, you could use Deutsch. So we don't have to drink at all. But the problem is if you get one minute of Deutsch, I don't know. I would imagine Deutsch could probably, pouring the beers and then drinking the beers. A minute, two, three. I want him like the Hannibal Lecter wheeled in.

We should actually. So Deutsch is on the wheel. Oh my fucking God. And that will be a thrilling thing because we were thinking about it before. It's like I think we've thought of everything. But the one thing that could ruin this is if one team just absolutely gets smashed. Right.

And, like, it's just not fun for the last 20 minutes. But now with Deutsch, I don't think any team... I wonder if both teams will use Deutsch. It might. If it just goes back and forth. We're ping-ponging Deutsch. Deutsch, Deutsch, Deutsch. Passing Deutsch around.

Are we going to black out Deutsch? I think it should be eight beers. I don't think anyone can get down nine beers. You're right. Nine beers is a lot. It depends. I don't know who's in it, but what if there's just this Avengers lineup of beer drinkers that's assembled on one team by happenstance?

The teams are pretty fair. Oh, they're predetermined. Yes. Amazing. And they're fair. Amazing. We made some assumptions predetermined. Yes. Amazing. And they're fair. Amazing. We made some assumptions on some of the guests. Mm-hmm.

No. They can do it. Yeah. I think one of our assumptions is spot on. Yeah. I'll say it when it happens. Yeah, yeah. Damn near chemically dependent on the stuff.

Oh, he 100% is. Yeah. Yes. I think you think... Are we talking about the same person? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Brandon, are you a good beer pourer?

I'm not very experienced, but I'll pour it. How? I'll take the can. I'll put a cup down. I'll tilt it, but only slightly. The can or the cup? I'll tilt the can. No. put a cup down. I'll tilt it, but only slightly. The can or the cup? I'll tilt the can. No.

You're going to want to tilt the cup. You're going to want to tilt the cup. This is important that we're actually having this conversation. We're tilting the cup like this and the can's going in it? Yeah. I'd argue both are tilted at that point. Yes. So the beer's going to be touching the side of the cup, not the bottom of it.

All right. So that way it doesn't pool up on itself. With the foam up. With the frothy head. It doesn't get a big old head like Brandon Walker. That's right. More brain to play trivia with, my guy. Yeah.

Yes. So what's our final number for the Deutsch wheel? I want to be able to use it at some point. Eight. Eight? Eight? Seven? Actually, you know what? Ref's call.

Yeah. Ref's call. If we're going along, I might move it down to five. But what if you see somebody intentionally slowing down their drinking to get Deutsch? No, I like this. There shouldn't be a set number, so you can't do that. It's 100% your call. That's perfect.

But I'm not going to suggest that y'all have to say, y'all have to like... No, no, no, no, no. You just go Deutsch. This team gets Deutsch. Because if someone... Get a flag. Throw a flag.

A Deutsch flag. Yeah, because if... Nick is right. Is that just a German flag? Nick is right. If a team was down seven, they would just stop drinking, going for Deutsch. We don't want to have that. My conniving ass would.

I need a Deutsch flag. So you – Deutsch could be at any – You throw the flag to signal that he's eligible. And that way you'll use Deutsch at least once. Can we get like a gate that you open up for bulls and then Brandon will just do that and Deutsch runs out? I like this. So that's a big call you got make yeah i'm on the deutsche i'm on the deutsche call i can do it well that's the most important job tonight deutsche what other responsibilities you have brandon is the ref uh i'm pouring beer okay what you guys just condescendingly told me

how to do i'm getting deutsche and i'm keeping. I'm not keeping score. No, you're two score keepers. I'm monitoring the score keepers. I'm announcing the score to you guys occasionally. Maybe make sure beers are all the way drank or some shit like that. Make sure no one's cheating. Checking mouths. You're bribable.

Oh, God, yeah. Fuck, yeah. And then the last thing we had on this that I keep forgetting. The very big part. The losing team, the case race will not end until the losing team gets a member of their team inside of the pool. How hard was that? Hard.

It was very hard. Very hard. It's a nightmare. We were sober when we did it. And it also took us two months. I'm going to say it right now. This will never happen did it. And it also took us two months. I'm going to say it right now. This will never happen. It took us two months.

Let's get ahead of it. Oh, no. I bought a lot of extra balloons. We have cigs. Ooh. I can get some. Thank you, Kate. Yes, that's your job.

Got the lighter already. Nice. So if you're the losing team, once the case race is complete, the losing team, once the case races complete, the losing team will vacate the studio and start working on getting a member into the balloon, and the winning team will yak. Amazing. Apologies in advance.

I feel it in my bones right now. I'm going to be sentimental tonight. Oh. Nice. With Deutsch? Yeah. I'm going to fuck him. How'd you know it was Deutsch?

You told me. Oh, shit. God damn. Where is he coming from? I don't know. Oh, he's a mystery. Yeah, do you know him at all? No, he's applying for the PMT internship.

And so when Hank told me he was applying, I was like, case race, Deutsch? You have like the hardest decision in the world to make. You have some heavy hitters applying for this job. Yeah. Deutsch. Are they all Whiteman? Funny enough, there was one guy who was like, we're like, why should we hire you? And he's like, well, I'd be your diversity hire.

Want to guess what he was? Italian. Cajun? No. From Canada? No. Portuguese? Palestinian.

Hawaiian. I'm just. He was a 70-year-old white man. Whoa. Tell that guy. he was a 70 year old white man whoa he was like I'd be your diversity we're like yeah I guess kinda, jelly football vibe sure 70 year old? 70 year old white man

you have some heavy hitters I don't want to be in your shoes you'd want to hire them all. I do. I do. All right, so any last thoughts before we go into the abyss? I'm going to split the room in half with Tate.

So what's going to happen right after this? We're going to walk out, and then there's going to be a thunder strike, and we're going to come back in? Yeah, so everyone here, we're going to watch in the gambling cave. When you're told it's your turn to come in, you go behind the Jumbotron, and that's where the entrances will be. Nice. Hell yeah. Smoke, pyrotechnics.

I think everything. Could be everything. What were you going to say, TJ? I'm going to split the room in half with tape, so it'll be obvious what side you should be on. If you enter first, you're on the left be on if you enter first you're on the left if you enter second you're on the right so should there be a rule that Brandon can use

if anyone crosses the line more so for the visual aspect of it I'll guide them where they need to be if you puke you're out if you puke you're out I do have a logistical question of course you do this is going to come up.

If people are eliminated and they have partial beer in their cup, how is that being scored? They're eliminated. Yeah, it doesn't count as a beer. Okay. Do you have any time to finish it or as soon as the wheel heads, you're done? I like time to finish. Oh. If you have like 10 seconds.

10 seconds. A buzzer beater beer? No. Brandon, you can count them off. Five seconds. Shot clock. Five. I think five seconds.

Four, three. Brandon will do it immediately. Che, you rode this. Good question. Great job, Che. Great job. And then TJ, are we having the people eliminated leave the room or they can stay as? I think maybe they can go on to the court and cheer on their remaining teammates from the court.

Can they keep drinking? I like the idea of the last two people being alone in the room. I like that. Yeah, I agree with that. Revision request. Oh, see. This is my fault. I think you're going to like this.

Instead of a standing five count, can Brandon do the one, two, three on the ground? No, a standing five count. You're the ref i know then he has to like bend wrestling do standing five counts yeah they do okay yeah rope break all right rope break rope break beautiful beautiful ropes let's get it on get it on yeah all right brandon do the arena uh club ad read and then we will i'm gonna tell you all about Arena Club. Everyone remembers that special card as a kid that got them into collecting.

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Three beers. Four beers. Five beers. Six beers. Seven beers. Eight beers. Nine beers. We'll be right back. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2024 Case Race Royal Rumble. The following contest is the biggest case race in Yak history.

We will begin with two competitors going mano-a-mano in a beer drinking competition before building our way up all the way to 16 Yak superstars here in this very studio. The stage is set. The stakes are high. So for the dozens of people here in Chicago, Illinois, and for the millions watching at home, let's get ready to case race! Entrant number one, hailing from Brownsburg, Indiana, the man just gets it. It is Mark Titus. Entrant number one, hailing from Brownsburg, Indiana, the man just gets it. It is Mark Titus. Yeah. I've been hearing a lot of talk.

I want to hear it. Mark Titus. I'll hear it from you. I'm Mark Tully. It's not me. You're wrong. All right. We have Mark. Mark. Are we ready to go for entrant number two? Trust the beta. I mean, I like to be pussy.

There's no crime to that. Trust the pussy. There's no crime to that. Trust the beta. Trust the beta. Trust the beta. Giovanni Bernard. I like the pussy. And his arch nemesis, the bully of box, the colossus of clit, it is Stephen Jay. Trust the beta. Giovanni Bernard.

I like the pussy. Hide it. Trust the beta. You're going down, brother. Trust the beta. Trust the beta. Mustache stinks. Mine's fake. All right, gentlemen.

Let's have a clean match right here. 1v1. Are we ready? For the people watching at home, are you ready? Titus, Che, on my mark. On me. It's quicker, Brandon. It's quicker.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Quicker draw. Sorry. Ready, set, case race. Go, go, go, go. And we're off. Go, go, go, go. And we're off. That was fun.

How long we got to wait? Five minutes, ten minutes? Ten minutes? That's two keep them coming we got to keep up the banter too i didn't realize until after i uh picked my costume that i didn't think about it that cm punk is very famously straight edge and does not drink does not drink at all i picked the one wrestler who a part of, come on, ref. Come on,

ref. I picked the one wrestler who's very openly, not a drinker. I mean, we're taping this on Juneteenth. I'm Hollywood Hogan. So that's not the best. Why?

What'd he say? Do you see the video of Hogan at the Hooters slapping a guy in the ass and then throwing him through a table? Stopping a guy in the ass and then throwing him through a table? Slapping a guy in the ass? No. I'd be interested to see that. In Tampa, I assume. Where was that, Brandon?

Tampa? Oh, my God. Keep the same cup. Keep the same cup? I guess you're probably right. You're right, but I'm throwing it for effect. It looks awesome. When am I supposed to start saying the slurs when disaster? Early early yeah early and often yeah, I did not realize I was gonna be close to first

I you got up, and then they were like hey get the fuck out there I I didn't realize until like two seconds before they told us we were going but I guess this is it you're at the door And everybody's like get out there i did not want to be first so i didn't either um what do chay and i talk about beats we both like beats beat gang beat salad what do you also like we both like the color purple we both like the color purple purple. Not the film, but the actual color purple. That's a book, too, I assume, right? Is it not? Is it a book?

By Alex Walker, yes. The color purple? I'm a little nervous. First case race. You're going breakneck speed. I'm going little nervous. First case race. You're going breakneck speed. I'm going breakneck speed. This is what I do. I burst out of the gates.

I only know sprinting when it comes to drinking games. I only know sprinting. I will hit a wall very fast, but... You're at an impossible pace right now. I will get there very fast. Your costume looks awesome. You look like a video game character. I think I have the fourth best costume.

I don't want to spoil what's coming, but I've seen everybody. I think there are better costumes out there, but I do. I picked CM Punk because I felt like I kind of look like him. Or at least he's the one wrestler I look the most like, so I went with Punk. That's true. He's a Chicago guy too, right? He's a Chicago guy who does not drink. That's three for me, Brandon. I picked Hulk Hogan because he's the one wrestler I looked at most like, so I went with Paul. That's true. He's a Chicago guy too, right? He's a Chicago guy who does not drink. That's three for me, Brandon.

I picked Hulk Hogan because he's a Bucs fan. Give me another one. Oh, God. We have some very exciting guests tonight. Yeah, we do. We're not going to reveal any names, but when I heard the roster, I was excited for the show. Why did they make us go first?

This was cruel. Whose idea was this? God damn it, Dan. This was probably justice for me wanting to wrestle on case races in the past. I wanted no banter. I wanted to just drink. And now it's just you and i in here alone um they facetimed shane gillis before this you facetimed shane gillis i i do i did not know i think ron did or big cat did yeah what do you have to say i wasn't there they were telling me

after the fact jesus christ say. That's a great story. How about Brandon last night? Choking on the last question of trivia? That was brutal. Ask me some of your Che questions. Che questions. You love Che questions. You love Che questions. I love Che questions.

So actually, when you started, you complimented me off camera, saying that you... Of course it was off camera. You liked the questions. You thought I was doing a great job. But then I recently found out that you just say that to everybody when you started.

That you thought they were doing a great job. What? No, I didn't. Who told you that? I don't remember, actually. I didn't even lie about that. I didn't say that. Brandon!

Sorry. I showed up to drink beer. That's what I thought my function was going to be. This was a mistake having me go first. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Suck it, Jeff. First one is blue.

First person's always blue. Everybody scream it, Kyle. Hell yes. Hell yes, KB. Hell yes. Fuck yeah Fuck yeah They look great Mickey needs his medicine. Oh God. All right. Three.

Finger. Bigger. Brandon, beer me. Oh, hell yes, Nick. Nick looks fucking awesome. Brandon, that's four for me. What's up, Kyle? Hello. Good to see you, man. It's true.

What's your stand? You got it, got it. All right, boys. Oh, fuck. Three, two, one, go. Oh, oh, come on. Come on, ref. All right, guys. Ref, ref, ref, ref. Take it down. Right here, Kyle. oh, come on. Come on, ref. All right, ref, ref, ref, ref.

Take it down. Right here, cop. Right here, cop. Right here, then. No, you're good. Now you sit down. Now you sit down. Gotcha, gotcha.

God damn it. Ref, hear me. Fuck. What have you guys been talking about oh dude we've been having a great conversation oh yeah Shay you're about to ask some Shay questions and then you got sidetracked

saying I complimented you one time so you guys bonding at all yeah I think me and Titus are pals. Did you hear your intro song, Shay? I didn't, no. It was all about pussy eating. Oh, really? Yeah.

I do love that. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Yep. Did you just make a reference to, you said you're Hulk Hogan on Juneteenth? Yeah, that's not the best. Why? What did Hulk Hogan on Juneteenth? Yeah, that's not the best. Why? What did Hulk Hogan do?

I think he said the N-word on several occasions. Oh, okay. All right, let's bring in the next people. We fucking rock. Now we're fucking in it. We're in it now, boys. We knew. We knew what it was.

What's the count? There's way too many. Why are there so many fucking balloons? I don't understand Balloons are insane I think that's just a case race staple Balloons? We have them every case race

TJ does a great job decorating this place The interns blew it up Shout out to the interns Thanks for blowing it up Yeah, I really appreciate you guys You'll definitely get to the job This is an absolute breakneck pace Do you guys have respective catchphrases? You'll definitely get the job. This is an absolute breakneck pace.

Do you guys have respective catchphrases? It's clobberin' time at CM Punk. I think you alluded to your catchphrase already. What superhero says clobberin' time? The Thing. The Thing? Yeah, not the most creative name. He's like the Hulk, but orange and made of rocks. And his name is The Thing. He's like the Hulk, but orange and made of rocks. And his name is The Thing.

It's not the Hulk? No, the Hulk is Hulk Smash. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's clobbering time. Now, Kurt Angle in the wrestling community, how is he viewed? He is a hero. He's from Mount Lebanon, PA, to Clarion University, D2 across all sports except wrestling, where he won two national titles, then an Olympic gold in Atlanta, then a wrestling superstar, perhaps the best of all time. How is your gold medal so tight?

Is that a kid's gold medal? The bald cap is whatever. My ballage is shrunk since high school You had a bigger dick in high school bigger ballage in high school was your dick bigger in high school. Yes Yes, I believe so What happened? Just get comfortable dress This was like in the iPod days so I have Che

can we get a score that's five for me you have five Titus I have five this is going to be the biggest mistake you've ever made yeah and I've made a lot of mistakes and it's always your fault it's always

you're always right over there every time every time you make a mistake I'm right there just like hey do it every fucking time five five is You're always right over there. Every time. Every time you make a mistake, I'm right there. Do it. Every fucking time. Five? Five is...

We're ten minutes in? Yeah. To borrow a phrase from Hulk Hogan, Yeah, brother. First tongue appearance. Two. Two, and I'm going to do this third one real quick. Uh, Sass is gonna FaceTime in and say the slur for gay.

Love it. Yeah, he promised that. Happy Pride Month. Did you guys pregame this? Uh, we had, Rowan made us do shots of tequila. I drank a lot of liquor. Did you? It's easier to drink when you're drunk. But beer is hard. Next, next.

Who's next? Oh, my God. Oh, you guys have mook. No, this is good. Mook is going to be good. Mook is slug. Mook is going to be scared to talk, and he's just going to fucking hammer beer. Mook can drink beer.

I believe it. Oh. He's scared to talk and he's just gonna fucking hammer beers. Mook can drink beers. I believe it. Thank you. Connor Mook. Oh no! Off to the worst start! They didn't know where to go! Oh god! Oh no!

And mind you, completely sober. We'll take him, we'll take that. Is everybody else standing? That's our short stop. Is everybody else standing? I don't know, we removed chairs from the room. Yeah, you're good. We got rid of chairs for this.

There's a bunch of chairs behind you. I thought for sure we would add chairs. Mook chair? Oh. I forgot you have to drink. I apologize. Kate was talking shit? Is that who you're up against? Oh. Oh, buddy.

Yes! Oh my god. She's a true, true alcoholic woman. I asked for another. Bro, we're down. You're two down? I can't. I'm here for a beer with you. Oh my god! Holy shit.

It's Weird Al! Oh my god. Weird Al Yankovic. Oh, you're the snake. This is Weird Al. Hey! Oh my god! Get out of here. It is Weird Al. Eight. Oh, my God. Get out of here.

I do look like Weird Al. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, wait. Okay, who are you? Four, four. Jake the Snake. Jake the Snake?

Three. Jake the Snake. Shut the fuck up. You're not weird. Two, Four, four. Jake the Snake! Jake the Snake? Jake the Snake! Shut the fuck up! You're not weirdo. Three, two, one, go! Come on, Kate! Hook! Move!

Come on, Kate! Yes! Bury his bitch ass, Kate! Yes! Hook! Chips loose? Come on. Kate.

OK. Yeah, wait. How's this working? We're going to run out of cups. We'll do it like that. OK. Is anybody else here love to play the accordion? Yeah, Kate. Jake the snake. We all have our vices. That's right.

Mine just happens to be gutter skanks. Oh, shit. Brandon, what's that a reference to... That's not a Kurt Angle thing? Brandon, that was a Kurt Angle thing, right? What is Kurt... He said, Kate, we all have our vices.

Mine just happens to be gutter skanks. When did he say that? He said that. Brandon, you don't know? This man's fresh off of Wikipedia. That link is freshly purple. Oh boy. Right in the gullet.

Did I already fuck up my makeup? No, you look great. You look great. Titus, how we feeling? I'm drunk, I think. Yeah, you have five beers. Five beers in ten minutes? Oh, boy. I got five, yeah.

I told you this is what I do. I sprint out of the gates. How do you do? You're so hard and narrow, though. What? I'm going to finish with, like, seven. I'm going to nurse these next two. two yeah but i had a lot of nerves you put me in an empty room with steven chay yeah we almost kissed can i say a caveat whoever wins

the chug their team gets like an extra like quarter of a point did you beat me on the chug yeah yeah it was uh yeah beat by hair oh connor won by a little bit. I think I did. Thank you, K-Bit. Thank you. We'll see. You're welcome. Has anyone brought up Hulk Hogan and Juneteenth yet? Am I right? I think so.

That's pretty crazy. What inspired Amish Paradise? Yeah, now that I see myself. Oh, you look just like Jake the Snake. I ordered all this myself. Who is Jake the Snake? Jake the Snake rules. Jake the Snake. Is he a popular...

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Dead? He would bring a real snake. Alive. He was... He was molested, I think, by his uncle. That's true.

Yeah, Kate, did you get into character? Did you get molested before this Kate? Hey. That was your first fun fact? He comes out with a live snake. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jake the Snake. He's the one with the pedophile uncle.

Jesus Christ. Hey, a fun fact. TJ, TJ, fact check that, please. It was his stepmom. Oh, I don't have my headphones on. TJ. Well, all right. Stepmother.

Thank you. Jesus Christ. Wait, he was molested by his stepmother It's a good note There are tons of porns based on that right now I digress Alright we're having fun Big Cat needs to step in quick I don't even know who's next

Kyle Are the sunglasses your touch Or is that a Kurt Angle thing as well I wanted to just hide my dead eyes. Any life? Oh, shoot. Oh! Oh, bro!

Oh, my God! He's been demon-moving, too. Stop it. Cover it. Okay, next, bro. I gave my old woman the mandible claw then did my kids up like Chris Benoit Problematic let's go that's the iron sheet. Yeah His opponent And his opponent. Yes! Are you horny?

People like Big Cat, you've lost a step. Uh-uh. I'm still drinking. When you say, Big Cat, you're done, you don't know shit, 37, washed up, father of two, never stop. I'll keep going. I'm going to fucking power through this. I am dominating this.

I'm on three. I'm on three. The warrior! I had three. You're done? I'm on three. I'm on three. Give me another one. Let's go. I had three Yeah! Let's go! Oh, fuck! Oh, this is firing!

Wait, I forgot! Hold on! What'd he forget? Shake the ropes! Shake the ropes! Shake the ropes! Oh. What's the price of this? Oh my god.

Give me that six. Blue team, let's go. Finger five. I'm done too. I'm done too. Let's go, Ron. Load me up, load me up. I'm not going. Let's go wrong here. Load me up. Love me up I shouldn't have fucking shook the ropes. God damn it.

By the way, I just want to say we were watching in the gambling cave. The Titus Chase start was exactly what I wanted. That was cruel. It was cruel. Oh, my God, it was imperfect. It was so boring. Sorry. Titus was going hard. Was it like the worst contact. That was pretty close.

Why is there ice in this beer? It's very cold. We got to warm up these beers a little. Take a few out. Yeah, take a few out. Titus, you were a wrestling guy growing up. Who's your favorite wrestler? My favorite wrestler, probably Shawn Michaels.

I like Shawn Michaels. Tell him that mic is not plugged in. There's boom mics on the floor. Is this the biggest group we've ever had on the Yasson side? Yeah. What went into that thinking? We don't know. Here, somebody take my chair.

No, no, no. I need to stand for a second. Okay. I helped move it. I've sat long enough. Is this one going? I'm getting killed, huh? I'm going to stand.

We'll get there. Oh, my God. I feel good. Who wants to do wrestling moves on each other? I do. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? I'm ready for Ric Flair chops.

KB, spladle. Oh, my God. I don't know if I can do that. We need a spl chops. KB, spladle. Oh, my God. I don't know if I can do that. We need a spladle. We need a spladle. We need a spladle. Someone's getting spladdled. I know it's not me.

Someone's getting spladdled. Che gets spladdled. What was that? By the way, Che is concussed. He's concussed. Yeah, he's concussed. He's got brain damage. Che, you've been out of it, dude.

You've been fucked up. You've been something. We started this and we were in the gambling cave and we're like, Che, Che, Che. You're like, what? I didn't hear my name at all. I was very thrown off by that. I didn't think I was going to be the first one.

I was hoping I would have a short stint and maybe do five beers and get a little... Need another two. There we go. Come on. Wait, Brandon, I'll come to you. No, no, no. It's best if I come to you. No, I'll come to you. No, no, no. It's best if I come to you.

No, I'll come to you. Okay, you should come to me. Brandon, I need one too. Wait, Chase, tell that story you were telling again. Yeah, go back to the... You were spinning yarns, my boy. Yeah, who got molested? Go back to the Jake...

Go back to the Jake the Snake molestation. Too fast. You teased? Yes. Your choice. You wanted to say the Adam Ward one is molested.

You put me in an empty room. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Jeez. I had four. Who could sing a song

from Amish Paradise? What other Weird Al songs are... What other Weird Al songs bang like that? Constipated. Fat, constipated. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it.

Extra piece. Extra piece for me. Running with Scissors was the album. Oh, my God. The night Santa went crazy. I was laughing. I was laughing. I can't express how out of breath I am.

Dude, that was fucking worth it. It felt good. It was worth it. But it might have cost me later. By the way, Tidus, Che told that Shane Gillis story where he just wasn't even there and he told it. Yeah. That we FaceTimed Shane. Yeah.

That was the worst telling him the story ever we've facetimed shane ronan and i and he was like what's up and then he saw us and then joe rogan was just looking at us and we're like what joe rogan was watching all of us you got gazed at by joe rogan yeah he just he just tilted the phone towards joe rogan which was was nice of him. Holy shit. And my ultimate warrior in his iron chic. Holy shit. And Joe Rogan's like, dude, I'm so jealous. I wish I was fucking with you brothers.

Well, I got great news, guys. Count it down. Joe Rogan's dead. Yeah! Oh! Oh, shit. All right, we got the countdown. We got the countdown.

Two phones, Brett. I mean, Kyle low-key has... That's what Joe Rogan is. Yeah, these are our guests. We're on to the surprises. We're on to the surprises. I can't believe we booked him. Three for me, three.

Okay, I mean Brandon, can you pour me one? I need you to roll up right now. My God. You might be in trouble. We got him. We could have got him. Is it actually him? DeAndre the Giant? Oh, we got him. We could have got him. Is it actually him?

Is it actually him? Is it actually Andre the Giant? Quite obviously. Is it Macy's Day parade float? Is it actually him? No way. No way we got him. No way. Wait.

A reveal! Oh! My word! just the fan of your oh no it's mold wine make out maniac the bachelor jack no way oh my god let's go hell yes dude has kissed 13 women

in one day he's the make out maniac no make out maniac the makeout maniac. No. The makeout maniac. The makeout maniac. From Lake Travis. Oh, buddy. Hell yeah.

Four. Three, two, one, go. Oh, my God. Marshall, Marshall. South Cross. All right, all right, my God. Marshall. Marshall. South Cross. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. That's our guy. Lock it. Oh.

Holy shit. Three, three. Kate, you have to be so embarrassed looking like this now. I'm dying a little bit. I all wiped the mustache off. Yeah. I swear. I swear. Zach, what's going on? It's great. It'm dying a little bit. I'll wipe the mustache off. I swear, I swear.

Zach, what's going on? It's great. It's fantastic. What an entrance. You liking the chest? Five. Five for Titus, five for Mook. Five for Mook? I'm going. I drink like Keanu Reeves walks.

How does Keanu Reeves walk? He has a dumbass gait. You got to pick it up. Time's to be thought about. Pissing and how you're going to pee in that. I have no idea. Yeah, it's going to be tough. Same, same.

I might just pee myself down my leg. I'm already having a fucking blast. I'm having a great time. It's also chaos. I was in tears watching it in the game. Yeah, it was so funny. And Brandon gets so skittish every time a balloon pops. Yeah, don't pop the balloons for Brandon.

I have intern Jacob warming up my beers between stops. I'm pouring the beers. Nice, nice. Oh, I see it, yeah. Yeah, he's got warm thighs. Gaz told me he didn't check the guy's guys interns thighs, but they're warm. Yeah Next type shit We're getting smoked across the board right now, we're good

Okay, I'm ready for another finally. Oh Kate. Okay. You drank that first one so fast Barstool Barstool, that's true for Barstool Barstool Zach you're at two? Almost three right now. He's at almost three. Holy shit. People forget you used to be fat as fuck. Fat as fuck. And so... Brandon's pouring them shitty. Oh. Making everything bubble.

Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. I'm pouring your goddamn beer. He was six inches above my cup just dumping it in. That's a foamy brew.

That's a foamy... Pardon my luck. All right. That's four. Shall cross. That's a foamy. Okay. All right. That's four. Shawcross. Three. Three for Shawcross. Three for Shawcross.

Shawcross. Oh, shit. He used to be on Offensive Lineman. Shawcross was free gaming with us, too. He was ripping tequila shots with the boys, too. How awesome is it for people to just keep saying, like, you used to be fat? Oh, no. It's like it's just basically implying you're be fat? Yeah, you're good-looking now yeah used to be fat, but now you're awesome

Disgusting Okay, I done Hoff in your uber today you did you found two miles I watched on the map as it drove away Yeah house in the uber driver's is tiring your Uber today. You did. Took you down two miles. I watched on the map as it drove away. You got in Kate's Uber? Yeah. His house? And the Uber driver said, it's tiring.

It's a lot. You know, it's a lot. Are you Kate? And I said, yes. That's the driver was like,

I asked him if his name was Catherine and he said, yes. And he got in the car. That was a nice little connection between us. Catherine,

our note. Kyle, you went to Kate's house? Toured it. Are you going to be able to bring the groceries up the steps? Oh yeah, that's right. Titus, you look exactly like...

Brandon's giving up on pouring. No, I'm not. I just heard a beer crack and it's not... They're helping. You subbed in your sister. How's Brandon drunker? Don't pour too many because they'll all get hot. Don't pour too many. Yeah? Don't pour too many because they'll all get hot. Don't pour too many.

Yeah, don't pour too many. Luke, Luke, Luke. Luke, where are you at? Am I drunk after four? Yeah, I'm drunk after five. This is going to be a real piece of shit. This is a catastrophe. What are you at?

This is my eighth beer. That's another. Bro, what you at? Four. I'm going to hit a wall fast. I'm going to do ten probably. I can't really drink with a mask on, but I look like I'm a member of the LDS without the mask. Door to door.

Oh my god. Get me right, get me right. Careful, careful. You know where the Iron Sheik is from? Let's sit, let's sit. He's from Iran. Careful, careful. You know where the Iron Sheik is from? Let's sit. He's from Iran. I finally made my way to Iran. Pick up this costume.

Which may or may not carry it. We might need Barstool Barstool. Oh, we got ten seconds. Oh shit, the time's kind of going. This is a good race, though. This is tight. No one's really... And there's no limit, right? So we're not going is a good race though, this is tight. Yeah. No one's really... And there's no limit, right? So we're not going for a number, we're just...

Yeah, it's time. That's actually fucked, honestly. That makes it way worse. What? What? What the fuck? Oh no! Is this an error?

Oh no! What is this? Big Daddy. Could it be? What is this? Wait, wait, what? Oh! Oh! Could it be? What is this? Wait? What is he dressed as? Oh he's going hippo mode. Oh my god.

Why does he look like a kabuki theater? Oh no! Oh no! Alright. Who's he taking on? I'm not, I don't want to say it but we're fucked. He's the time zone tiger. Oh!

Oh! Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. Dana Beer, no! No! Let's go, Wonton. Let's go, Wonton. We're not scared. Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! We're drinking micro-brews tonight. Oh my god, his dick is so small. Welcome to the home team! Dana! Oh! Oh my god, child! Go around and around! He knocked over Brandon with a plastic cup. He knocked him over with a plastic cup.

He knocked him over with a plastic cup. Dana Beers! Dana Beers! I'm not worthy. Holy shit. Two for Donnie. Two for Donnie. That's two for Donnie. That's two for my time.

You spilled. My bad, my bad. Didn't mean to. Didn't mean to. I'll suck it up. He can sit in the pool. All right, that's six. Six.. You spilled. My bad. My bad. Didn't mean to. Didn't mean to. I'll suck it up. All right. That's six. Six.

Here, Dana. Please sit. Six for Mook. Six for Mook. Six for Mook. And that's two for Donnie. Six for Mook. We had the Dana explosion.

Why are these beers so cold? Five for the kids. No, KB. No, KB spilled. No. You spilled all that beer. Suck it up. What are you?

That's a myth one. You spilled it. Yeah, he He's stopping it up Three for Donnie. It's three for Donnie. Three for Donnie. That's going to be a difference. And three for Donnie. That's three. How all spilled out?

How many is Barstool Barstool at? Three. He's at three. Three. Where are you getting them? We're whipping ass. It can't be accurate when you're getting your ass whooped. I'm not a chugger, but I'm the fastest zipper this side of the Mississippi.

Dana, what an entrance. Oh, my God. Oh, it's one more for Dana. Oh, my God. Dana came out in his costume. And Nick and I told him that he's going to have to take off his underwear for the continuity of the costume. I said his underwear was too distracting.

Four for Wonton. Four for Wonton, four for Wonton. Four for Wonton Don. Four for Donnie. Let's go, Donnie. Oh! Oh! Oh! Get him!

Oh. Dana's got that pigs in a blanket. What is that? No, but we told Dana, we were like, dude, you can't have the underwear. It's too distracting. It's all bunched up. He's like, yeah, for sure were like, dude, you can't have the underwear. It's too distracting. It's all bunched up. He's like, yeah, for sure. He goes in, walks back out with no underwear.

He had a sock over his cock. Yeah. And then the deepest asshole I've ever seen in my life. I've never seen an asshole deeper. It was so far away from where his butt cheeks were. It's just so deep in the crevice of your pants. It was pitch black. It's just so deep in the crevice of your pants. It was pitch black.

It was like a great canyon. Five for Donnie! Five for Donnie! Five for Donnie! Five! Five! That's the big one. That was the big one? One big one. I could have killed somebody.

PSA! PSA. No. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I'm announcing to the room so everyone knows. We're all on equal standing. The rat trap has been set. The rat trap has been set.

That's all I'm saying. The rat trap is set. That means. Oh, no. It's been set. Already it's been set? It's been set, Dana. The rat trap has been set. It's back in an area where someone could just sit down and forget.

So just nobody forget. Who's it going to get? I hope it gets Zod. This is also the last mousetrap episode I've heard. Oh, is it the last one? Yeah, last mousetrap episode. You deem when it's done. Yeah, last mousetrap episode.

So we got to go out with a bang, Brandon. Dana! Yes! Boys, how are we feeling individually? Six for Donnie. Six for Donnie. Six for Donnie. Six for Juan Don.

Juan Don! Juan Don! I'm getting close to puke territory. Donnie's a problem. Oh, I'm drunk. He's a problem. Oh my god. He's a problem. We should have. Dana was so focused on the entrance, he forgot to.

We forgot to. It's a marathon. Low and steady. Wait, three, two, one. What the fuck? Who's this? It's just me. Moro.

The log in. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Moro! No one's ever scored a shot. He's gonna have to hit a shot. What the fuck? My God. Slaves. I can just take the card out of the phone. You got me.

It's over. Oh, oh. Joe Rogan is here. We have a broken light. Let's go, Mauro. Mauro. Blue team! Blue team! Blue team! Make this pit disappear.

Who is he taking on? Alright, yeah. It's a long game, Donny. It's a long game. Yeah, I have an alien baby in my stomach right now. Oh, he's right. He's right. Yeah. He's right. I'm sure he's right. I'm sure he's right. He ain't looking for a problem. He's the bad joint. Wildin' in the section.

What's up? What's up? Yeah, we got some good stuff. We got a good one. I'm not going to lie to you about it. I'm not going to lie to you about it. You know they shout around. Oh!

Oh, Spider Mysterio! Spider Mysterio! Spider Mysterio! Sure. Yes. Who's he? What team he's on? He's on us. He's on us yeah, I got a rock the phobia then Kyle code switches when I'm ears. What are we at? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, Spyder.

Come on, Spyder. Morrow, let's go, Morrow. Morrow. All right, Morrow, you hero. Yeah. Yeah. You bitch. Finish him, Morrow.

Finish him. Hey. I like how we're celebrating that. Sorry, Gus. Doesn't mean anything different. Doesn't mean a goddamn thing. Work your magic buddy. Oh...

Let's go. Who I gotta- It's on this face. Seven! Seven! Seven! Five. Kenny!

Oh yeah fuck him! Fuck you! Fuck him! You wanna be one of us? Fuck you. I had to make sure- I had to make sure- I had to make sure-

I had to make sure- I thought you were the Hawkeye. I had to make sure- I had to make sure- I had to make sure- Spider-Royce 17's for the- Seven. Seven. Yes! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! I had to be ballooned. I thought you were a Hawkeye. I had to be shared with Spider-Man on several teams for the- Seven. Seven.

Yes! Oh, no. I had to be ballooned. That was awesome. That was awesome. That made my day. Barshall Barshall's on number five. He's done five.

Oh, the guy can drink. The guy can drink. Seven for Donnie. Oh. Seven for me. Yes! I got it. Seven for Mook.

Oh, no. Seven for Mook. All right, Mook. All they want to do over there is pop balloons! They don't wanna drink beers! They don't wanna drink beers! They're not trying to drink beers on that team! They wanna pop balloons!

They're not trying to drink beers. Would you like pop a balloon? Someone else sit first. I feel like I have to shout. I think it's helpful. Shout cross, get over here. Mmm. He's already...

Fuck, alright. Sit, sit, sit. Oh my god. Oh my god. I got some bloat going on. Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement. Oh, no. I have consumed my ninth beer.

Oh! Go, Mark! Blue team! Blue team, we got a ninth lead. I feel like we got to keep it right at this pace because we go too many beers. Come on, Red. Come on, Red. Wait, that's...

Hey. No, no, no. All right. We get ahead too many. That mic should be like the open mic. Come on, Red. That's it. You can go up and tell a joke on that mic.

Until the end, we're okay. That's five for me. I just made a horrible mistake. Five for Rone. I thought Che was the Hawkeye. I said nice to meet you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Save that thing for the mic.

Wait, we have a big turn of events. Oh, no. I turned around and I thought Stephen Che was the hot guy, and I said nice to meet you. He thought Che was the bachelor. Oh, no. Dana! I fucked up.

Che has an attractive physique. It's when he starts talking that you realize it's Che. Che is super excited because Dana thought he was The Bachelor. If I saw Che in that costume, I would think he was a normal cool guy. What? I'm going to! I'm going to!

All right. Okay. Come on, Red. We're working too much ass right now. They're about to use their secret weapon. Oh, no. Whatever could you mean, Adam? Release the Marathon Reds.

Do not release the Ronnie Twitch. Please don't. I would say chill out a little bit. Chill out a little bit. We'll hit the Nas later. Remember, though, Deutsch is a judgment call. Let's go. Don't talk about Deutsch. Wait, it's-

Don't bring up Deutsch. That is everybody, right? No, we have one more entrance. What? Oh shit! Oh my god. The real handsome one. Oh shit. Spider! Oh shit. I'm on my back again. Oh, take the cash, come in. Oh, take the cash, come in. I need another. I need another.

Keep my sweat wet. I'm on my back again. Spider. Yes, man. Spider has his first one done. Spider finished his first beer. We got James Portnoy. Keep my sweat wet.

I'm on my back again. Keep my sweat wet. I'm on my back again. That's four for me. Four for Marv. Let's go, Marv. Let's go, Marv. Dude.

Back the staff. Dude. Magicians drink, dude. I'm known to come home with one. He's on adult magicians raging alcoholism. He ruined the day. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Play it man. Let's go. Oh shit. I gotta stand and drink. I'm getting like, I gotta stand. Oh shit. I gotta stand and drink. Oh my god.

Cat sick. It's way easier to stand and drink. Oh my god, he looks incredible. Henny, Henny. Henny, Henny. Henny, Henny. Henny, Henny. Henny, Henny my god, he looks incredible. Henny! Henny! Henny! Come on!

Henny Moore! Henny Moore! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Get the fuck back! Get your foot back! Get your foot back! Get your foot back! Get your foot back! Hey, put the beer back up there! Where'd the beer go?

That's one for us! No, no, no! No, no, no! What is it? Yes! Yeah! BFT! Thanks, Larry PFT can do molly, but he can't drink. PFT can only handle his molly. He can't handle his boobs. This isn't bad dog sporting.

Yes! That's right. That's right. Oh! no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! A lot of concern about BFT.

Rugby dudes just like to drink unnecessary amounts of beer. Is that kid right here? Hank, take off the mask. Dude, he knew rugby in college. Those guys, like, I've seen rugby guys drink beer out of, like, each other's ass. Hank! Drink some! Hey, what the fuck? BFT spilled that all over the show.

There's no proof of any spill. That's another one for Rome. That's another one. Let's go. Let's go. I want to be proposed. That's another one. Let's go. Let's go. Here, three. Set me up. I want to be proposed.

15. I'm sorry. I'm not. That was insane. 10. I'm out of breath. Dude. 10.

I want to be guys. Thank you. I'm not. 10. 10. Let's go. 10. Another one.

Another one. 10. Another one for Kyle. 10. Another one for Kyle. I'll take it here? All right. You got one?

Oh, what an edge. You want it. No, no, no. What an edge. Nice. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Do that. You need to see it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take here Almost got fully knocked over by that suck it that suck it almost knock it off my feet That was talking was so fucking hard What is that thing that I threw back at you? That's my dual lightsaber. It started chaos.

We got to get going. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Into the mic, into the mic. Sit down and talk. Sit down and talk. All right. Hey, pour a bunch of beers. We got it. Yeah. All right. We got it. We got it. Pour a bunch of beers. We got it. Yeah. All right.

The score is 45-37. That's an eight-beer difference. Come on, Dan. Tell them who's drank the most. For the red team. Tell them who's drank the most, Brandon. It's time to spin the Deutsch wheel. Ooh, no.

Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Yeah, they need it. Deutsch. Deutsch. They need it. Deutsch.

Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. DJ, spin the Deutsch wheel. Deutsch. They need it with their soft asses. Three minutes of Deutsch. Minus three. Minus three. Minus three. Yeah! Bullshit.

That's fucked up. That's fucked up. Hey, hey. Time to turn up then. Turn up. Let's turn up. You will never recover from this. That's another one for Moshe. fucked up. That's fucked up. Hey, hey. Time to turn up then. Turn up. Let's turn up. You will never recover from this. That's another one for Moshe.

Until he gets in here. Hey. That's number five for Mauro. Blue team. Blue team. Hit turn up mode. Let's go. Number nine for Mook.

Turn up mode. Number two for Hank. Nine for me. Brian, what is it? It's turn up mode. Turn up mode. We turn up now. We turn up now.

Shit, we're getting smoked. Here's Deutch. Pat Summitt. No, he's got to pour his own. They said he's got to pour his own. No, no, no. They said he had to. That was the rules.

That was the rules. He can pour his own, but maybe he has to stop spilling beer. Ice cold beer. Ready? TJ. Not Deutch. I spilled beer. Ready? TJ! Not in your face. George! Start the clock!

George! George! George! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy shit. No, no. He's got to pour his own.

You said he had to pour his own. What is this? No, no, no. Oh, no! George! Oh, no! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George! George no! Deutch! Deutch!

Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Oh, fuck! Deutch! Deutch has a gun!

He has a gun! He has a gun in his pants! Deutch has a gun! You! Hey, Deutch! What is this thing? It's Pat Summitt! It's fucked up! It looks like Jeffrey Dahmer, bro! Deutch, get the fuck out!

Deutch, get him out! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch!

Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Deutch! Get him out of here! Get the fuck out of here! Get him out of here! Get him out! Get him out!

Get him out of here! Get him out! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! how the fuck is dorsetown ladies if you're worried that he's out cheating on you, this is what he's doing.

Don't worry. He does what he's have to when he's not home. Where did you find this guy? Deutsch! Rohn, stop Deutsch! Get him, get him! Get him, Rohn, stop Deutch. What are you doing? Get him. Get him. Get him, Rohn. Get him, Rohn.

Oh, wait. Get on camera. Deutch? Get on camera, Deutch. Deutch, get on camera when you rip it. Over here. Over here. Over here.

Over there. I have no idea. No, over here. Over there. I have no idea. Go another one. Dude, I've never seen anything like this. Deutch just ripped eight. He ripped a clean eight. Deutch ripped a clean eight in one minute. He just went like this.

Ten, ten. Jacob. Ten for Don. Is this real life? Dude, it's not. Holy shit. There he goes again. TJ, three for spider. 10 10 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not on track of being on 19 seconds. Brandon, call time out. Brandon, call silence in the room. Hey, hey, hey. Time out. Go. Fucking Deutsche. Wait. Eight beers and three wins.

Wait, big cat, big cat. He did the 9-9-9 challenge at the Cubs game earlier. He did the 9-9-9 challenge at the Cubs game earlier. I'm not kidding. Look at... This is when I had a moment where we just both looked at each other like... That was the craziest shit I've ever seen. Dude, I can't...

Where's Deutch? Just drank nine beers in ten seconds. Wait, did you add our beers? Our Deutch? Listen... I knew he was gonna drink a lot. Dude, Deutch... He fucking is like dropping an atomic bomb. It's not really fair. That was crazy.

Keep pace, keep pace, keep pace. Deutch is open, Eimer. Oppenheimer is Deutch. What the fuck was that? Run your race. Run your race. Hey, hey, hey. All right.

How much? How much? Big cat. Big cat. Run your race. I. All right. How much? How much? How much? You got to bring two. Big cat. Big cat. You might be. You might be. You might be. Ron, you're raised.

I'll go check. How much time? We're one down, guys. We're one down. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We need a magician. What the fuck? Where did Deutsch go? What the fuck?

What can you do again? I don't think you can go again. Dude. I asked him if he wanted a costume. What was that? I have a Pat Summitt outfit. I don't know if that will work. I said, yeah.

Guys, Deutsch is going to Pat Summitt. I I don't know if that will work. I said, yeah. Guys, Deutsch. I got something to say about Deutsch. We've been Deutsch. Deutsch is the only American that has ever beat Pongzai in a drinking competition. He was the drinking king of China. So, I mean, he's pretty fucking patriotic. He's the intercontinental champion. I fucking hate you, Deutsch, for what you just did.

But, hey, I think he deserves a little golf clap. What is his deal? What a weirdo. Let me be the first to say my career is over. I have three. George!

That was very nice, Donnie. Thank you for that. That was very nice. We should. Thank you for that. That was very nice. We should organize. I'm going to keep talking because I feel like nobody else remembers their microphones. There's a lot of chaos going on.

I don't even know if I can hear. I'm just chatting it out. Alright, announcement. We got three on ten, bro. Clean it up. We got fucking ten on ten. I swear. Okay.

I'm on ten. We are seven minutes from elimination number one. Oh, my God. You got seven minutes as a full team. Seven minutes as a full team. I hope it's me. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Wait, was Morrow just chanting for red? Let's go. I came to Barstool.

Let me be the first to say, I'm Ronnie Deutch. I drink another beer. And in my career. What? Fourth beer! Sixth beer! I'm not done! I'm done!

I smoked him on the jog. I'm struggling now, man. Good track. That was good. Another one for Kyle. Another one for Kyle. I don't know. He is. He is.

Give me that. No, he is. Okay. You don't even know him. No. No. No. You got to move.

Wait. We're trying to see Dana's little dick. Show Dana's little dick. Show it. Show the dick. Wait. Why is it always picking up a thing? It's not like when my book comes out.

It's not like when my book comes out. It's not like when my book comes out. It's not like when my book comes out. It's not like when my book comes out. It's not like when my book comes out. It's not like when my book comes out. No, no you got a move we were trying to see data's little dick show day a little dick show it show the dick Yeah, Joe Hellman your show watch Omega capital right not enough people are talking about him, he has no ass. Who, no? Dude, he has, have you ever seen him? That guy has zero ass. Look at that face. Dana's got plenty of ass. We've never seen this before.

This is an incredible show right now. This dude is crazy. I needed to learn more about him. I'm sitting in the red seat. It's the craziest rabbit hole you've ever seen in your life. Shea's hugging everybody. I'm the one that set it up. I've been following him for a long time.

How many cock shots are we going to have? 70-ounce boots. The biggest boot you've ever seen. All right, hey. Faster than you or I could drink one of you. Can we get a shout out? Can we get a shout out to our referee Brandon over here? Brandon! Brandon! Asshole!

And can we get a shout out tomorrow if you don't show me a magic trick? Let's go. Magic trick. Yeah. Ceasefire. Ceasefire. No magic trick. All right.

Everybody down. Everybody down. Beer's down. Everybody down. Beer's down. Beer's down. Beer's down. Beer's down. Beer's down.

Beer's down. Beer's down. Beer's down. If anyone takes a sip, you are disqualified from the competition. Beer's down. No. Nuh-uh. The stage is yours.

Do you need a mic? Hands up, don't beer. I need a mic. Yes. What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Does that mic work? Oh, she's going to puke.

Oh, God. Oh, shit. No, no, no. Send him out. Send him out. Che, you're good. Che, hold it in for the trick. Che, hold it in for the trick. Che, hold it in for the trick.

If you're going to puke, puke hard. Can you guys hear me? There's a mic right in front of you. Pick a card looking ass. Bury him, Kyle. Abracadabra looking ass. Oddjob looking ass. Top of the morning looking ass.

Look at my hat looking at what's this in my hat type I need a volunteer for the red team all right next up bitch oh all right is that a buddy I have an order your liver right okay we're gonna do something cool into something crazy we're gonna shuffle it up I hope I don't know if the cameras can see this. They got you they got you you're good Do me a favor even if it is my car stop. No, they stop whatever you want stop right here No, they don't look at don't show anyone put it straight in your pocket straight in your pocket. Don't show anyone Nobody's seen that car We're going to put the rest of the record here. All right. Cup's down. Big Cat, can you be involved in this for a second? I don't like your tricks.

We're doing a magic trick. Big Cat. No, no. You're down. Big Cat. I got him. I got him. I got him.

I got him. Big Cat. Big Cat. Big Cat. Big Cat, we're currently in a beers. I had to take a piss and then it became a shit. Big Cat. Announcement. Announcement. We're currently in a beers down situation. I apologize to everyone. I didn't know.

I came back from taking a shit. I didn't know. All right. I have a prediction on my phone about what Big Cat's about to say. No. All right? Oh, no. Big Cat, you don't know what the card he picked is.

Nobody's seen it. No one's seen it. I want you to pick any number from one to 52. Any number. Say it out loud. Say it out loud? Any number you want. One to 52.

37. Are you sure? You said 37? You wanna change it? You can change it if you want. 31. Oh, 31, no, no, no. Final answer, 31? Final answer, 31? 31. it you could change it if you want 31 31 44 change it again do you want what's up Yuri well final answer. 19 final answer?

He's talking about 19. You want to change it? He's talking about 19. I have my phone over here. I don't know where the camera is. You want to change? No change. 19 final answer.

19? All right, can you do me a favor? Hold on. Fuck. No. Don't do it. Don't do it, Dan. He won't do it.

It's crazy. I don't have it. Up to you. It's a free choice. You were paradox, boy. Don't change. Fuck You were paradox boy don't change Final change at this point you gotta change 51 you'll never No! Just kidding! 23 MJ! 23 MJ! 23! 23 MJ! 23? Hell no!

No, you fell for 23 MJ. I need a real answer. Last answer. Yeah. Whatever you say now is going. You fell for 23 MJ. Whatever you say now is going. Final answer.

There's no changing after this. Who said that? One. Really? Number one? Are you sure? Are you sure? All right.

Come over here. Come over here. Don't listen to him, man. I want you to click on my notes on my phone. I'm still crying. See my notes? Click, man. I want you to click all my notes on my phone. See my notes? Click on it. Click on it.

Wait, what's Deutsche? That dude is crazy. Look at him. He's a weirdo. Top note, commonly selected cards. Can you click on it? Can somebody put a mic in front of Mauro? Give him a mic.

Give him a mic. Commonly selected cards. Top note. Click on it. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it.

I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch on it I don't want to touch it what's number one one two done now I could you you see all the cards are different you see that yeah from 1 to 52 I wrote random cards and random orders if you would have picked you picked 23 before it would have been the two of spades. Yep. Had you picked 51, I would have put them in the five of spades. That was one of your numbers, right? Yep.

You picked one. It was two of diamonds. How crazy would it be if the card is already in his pocket before you picked it? No, no. I'll be so fucking mad, moron. Pull it out. Pull it out. Show everyone.

The two of diamonds. I love it. No, no, no. That's magic. That's magic. diamonds Drink Hey, hey, hey! Drink! Drink! Drink! Can we drink? Can we drink? You can drink now, boys. Fuck these guys. Eleven! Eleven! Eleven! Eleven for Titus!

Eleven for Titus! Do you feel any... Eleven for Moog! Get him back in here! Yo, respect the Irish! Come in here! Eleven for Hank. Deutch is depressed. Deutch is going to therapy, boys.

Deutch, get in here. I hate that. I don't even want to play the game. Is that your first? I love this guy. Oh, he is the best. TJ, that's four for Spider. All right, we got to squeeze Titus so he pukes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're a penis! You're a penis! You're a guy knocked it out! You're a guy knocked it out! Alright, we're on the scene.

They got like a hockey puck track. Orange trail! Orange trail! I did not expect Moro to be a drinking beast, but he is a drinking beast. Another for Donny! Another! You got Donny? You got Donnie?

Next one. That's all I do. I go out to bars and I drink. Do magic. Fuck. I underestimated you. I'm sorry.

For that, I'm sorry. My goal is nine. My goal is nine. I'm not... No, no, no, no, no, no. Let go, let go, let go. Fuck. Let go, let go.

Sober. Like, it's... You son of a bitch. Yes. Do some magic. He's got a view. He's got a view. Oh, no.

All right, so here's the standing. Nobody is talking into a mic. There's nobody in the room right now talking into a mic. But what's going on is we are still up by a clean three on them, which is enough for us to not be getting smoked. I don't know if the camera can see in the back, but Che is literally dying right now. Che is dying. He's holding his heart.

What's up, J.K.? I think I'm the only one talking to the mic, which people are going to hate. No, this, the audio is so fucked up. The audio is fucked. God bless. God bless. What number are you on? Alright, alright. Alright, let's clean it up.

Holy shit, man. Oh, oh, oh! Donnie threw up! No! Donnie threw up! Oh, what? Oh! Then you better fill it up a little more, Donnie. Oh, wow. That's a negative beer.

All right. What do we got? I don't know. I didn't expect yours. Breaking news. Hey, hey, hey. Focus, focus, focus. What is this?

I was wrong for that. I'm the loser of this whole night. Your favorite YAC members are on the plate. Breaking news. Shut up. Everybody shut up. Wait, wait, wait. Everybody shut up.

A for Morrow. A for Morrow. Shut up! Everybody shut up. Wait, wait, wait. Everybody shut up. A for Mauro. A for Mauro. Shut up. Everybody down. It's elimination time. Get Mauro up to 68. We're breaking news. Elimination!

No, no. You went down to 66 for us. Go up to 68. No. What? Six for Hank. We're about to eliminate one person. Another one for Hank.

Oh, no. Not me. Not me. Hey, hey, listen. We're about to eliminate one person Hey, hey, listen, we're gonna hey Hank. Hey, hey, listen up because this is so chaotic If you get eliminated here, you have to go on the court. Okay, you have to go on the court when you get eliminated Five And how we're going to do it. Stop talking. If you get eliminated, you have five seconds to finish your beer. And how it's going to work is blue team is going to spin,

and then red team. No, no, no. Red team's going to spin, then blue team's going to spin. No, no, no. It's going to sneak draft. So blue team spins, then red team spins, then red team spins, then blue team spins. He's right, Rowan.

He's right, Rowan. You made a fool of yourself. You thought it all out? Yes, I thought it all out. I thought it all out. Listen, roof ball ruined my life. Wait till we introduce the wrinkle. No, but I do.

No, but I do. Let's go, TJ. All right, this is the first person eliminated off Team Blue. I love the guy last but I hope it's Barstool. Bye! Bye! 10 seconds, count it. 4, 3, 2, 1!

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. One second. of here! Get him out of here! One second. I came to Barstool. Yes. What?

I need a what? I came to Barstool. What? I drank a beer. What? I drank another beer. What? I drank a third beer.

What? A fourth beer. What? A fifth beer. What? A sixth beer. What? Seven.

What? Eight. What? Nine. What? And I smoked a joint. Yeah! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. And I'm supposed to join it. Yeah! Oh, Nagila.

Hey, I might actually listen to this as a podcast just to see. It's going to be so, anybody can get one wall time from this. Not just audio wall time. I hope that there's somebody that's working out at the gym while listening to this podcast. Listen, stick with us. It's going to get better. It's going to get less chaotic. Spin the wheel for them.

Spin the wheel. Don't give them extra time. Don't give them extra time. Spin the wheel for their asses. Hug your beard. No spider. No Kate. No spider.

Oh, yes. Fuck you, Hank. Fuck you, Hank. Don't zoom in on his dick. That is so fucked up. Don't do that. Say one last thing into the mic. Show that dick. on his dick. That is so fucked up. Don't do that. Say one last thing into the mic. Into the mic.

Dude, Dana is the ultimate competitor. I love you, Dana. Show that dick. This is fucked up, boys. I came out here. I showed my arm. I have 11 fucking beers in my system with a small dick. And here I am leaving for no reason.

I love you all. I'll see you next time. Yeah! I can't believe I can't believe I can't believe technology is advanced to show Dana's dick on camera they're gonna have to

pixelate that thing I saw how hard you guys went on fucking Will Compton's dick and I was like yeah don't shart your dick on a camera.

Because they will just hammer it. But Dana was publicizing his dick beforehand, though. He was disparaging it with a bracket. He said he's four and a half hard. Dana said four and a half hard. No, he said that on a broadcast. He said public. No, he said that on a broadcast.

Jay, Jay. It's not okay. No, Jay's not okay. Jay, you're the statistician. You're the broadcast. He said public. No, he said on the broadcast. K, K. It's not okay. No, K's not okay. K, you're the statistician. You're mad. Jada, hey, tell them, hey. You know you have to sell them to them more. They don't get out of costume.

They have to stick on them. Jada, stop stripping. No, stop. I got him, I got him, I got him. Don't strip, Dana, don't strip. Hey, if you get eliminated, remember, the losers have to get someone in the blue. Right, right, right.

Of course. Of course. That's the standard rule. That's how we've always done the game. That's what we've always done. That's fucking obvious. You don't need to state that, Dan. We all know that.

Dana just got, he started stripping. I've never seen a dick like that. I started my night talking to Jake. I don't know. I don't want to end my night putting someone in a you. I don't know. I don't want to end my night putting someone in a balloon. I respect that. I have never been going. And then it became a shit.

And it was a diarrhea. Keep drinking. Can you come? You can't come. You cannot come. One more for Wonton. That's 12 for wonton. I don't think we accounted for Donnie.

No. Donnie's a fucking legend. No. Donnie's a fucking legend. Donnie has a stamp. Well, you need a beer in your hand. He has a stamp. Where's my beer?

Beer. Beer. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, don't get up too much. Hey, squad, don't get up too much. Don't let them get Deutsch. Keep it at a five get up too much, they might get Deutch. Alright. Don't let them get Deutch. No, keep it at a five. Keep it at a five.

Keep it at a five. Oh, is Deutch- Hey, is Deutch at an option? Should I be done? Yes, they can Deutch again. No, you're only allowed one Deutch. No, you're not. That's not true.

Listen, listen. I'll call fucking three. I'll call. I'll call. It's only just one Deutch. I wanna see Deutch perform again so bad that I'd be willing to lose some points bring Deutch in

I'll say this bring in Deutch bring in Deutch bring in Deutch I want Deutch he's mesmerizing I want to see Deutch perform but like

each team should only get one do it's three minutes it's a wheel though we might fuck up they might lose I think I think I can I Like Mike Mike Mike into the mic into the mic Hey, I think I can speak for all this No more Deutsch draft right now the executive is in dog. I'm holding Deutsch out. No! I'm holding Deutsch out. Wait, wait, wait. Hey, hold on. What is he doing?

Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Dude, I got to say one thing. PFT just pulled it down. Let's keep it up.

Oh, I'm wrong. I got to say one thing. Say it. The moment that Deutsch drank those eight beers. Deutsch drank eight beers in one second. Titus and I shared a look. Get Deutch back in here. Titus and I shared a look that will be seared in my brain forever. I was on the floor crying laughing.

Crying, dude. Titus looked at me and was like, what are we doing? What is going on? And Deutch was just going like this. He had four beers in 30 seconds. 30 seconds. I've never laughed harder. He already drank nine beers. He had four beers in 30 seconds. 30 seconds. I've never laughed harder.

He already drank nine beers. What is that noise? Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news. Another elimination. 30 seconds before. He's insane. I hadn't seen it in person. Oh, my God.

Well, well, well. Wait, can we just get Deutsch in here to watch? Another elimination. Here we go. Hey, we need Deutsch. It's onutch in here to watch? Another elimination. Here we go. Hey, we need Deutch. It's on our team. It's on our team. It's on them.

It's on them. Hey, you ready to start? You are. I want to see Deutch perform. But everybody. Oh, yeah. Get out of here. This is a disaster. One, two, three.

He didn't even spill a drop. Not a drop spill. He spilled at all. Clean, clean. No spill. No spill. No spill. Not a drop.

Not a drop. Not a spill. Hey, everybody, get with your chugging. How are you using your chug? Are you using your chug? I'm using my chug. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer.ug? Are you using your chug? No beer. No beer. No beer.

No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer.

No beer. No beer. No beer. No beer. That's one. I did not want to lose BFT. Hey, wouldn't it be a shame if we were tied, pussies? Dude.

Let's go. Look at Deutch! He's ready! Jacob, 13! 12! Jacob! Bring him in! And that's 11 for me! 12!

What are you doing? DJ! 12! Hey! What are you doing? Jacob! Alright, there's one more for me! DJ, spin the wheel!

Oh boy. Oh, they got way too much time! I feel bad for them. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for them. Oh boy. Oh, they got way too much time. Oh, yeah. I feel bad.

I'm only seven. You're crushing it. Yes, Kyle! Finish it up, Kyle! You're killing it, too. I ran out the score on some dry and aromatic kids. One, two, three, four. No, no. Beer.

No. Oh, oh. That's your beer. That's done. That's exactly what P.F. is doing. It's going beach mode, baby. Beach mode.

I know. The beaches in Mississippi probably suck. Oh, Lord. I landed. One more. One more. Six beers. You saw Kyle. You saw it. You saw it.

That's five for Spider. 77? No. The chat is going fucking crazy for you right now. W Moo. W Moo. W Moo. W Moo.

W Moo. W Moo. W Moo. It's actually better on the top It was like half a beer! Spider, you still have puke all over your face. Another elimination, TJ! Spider's out! Do another elimination!

Fuck! No, it's every five minutes! Spider was trying to say he didn't puke. He had puke all over his face. I have a question. Fuck! I have a question. I have a question. I'm a clock Have a question

Three more new yes, I have a question how many women did you fuck bachelor's act agree? Titus has a question. What's that sir? How many women you fuck that were on the show? Answer it! One! I'll only answer if we get some beer points. We don't care that much. We don't care that much. We don't care that much. We don't care.

I've never cared less. I fucked one girl. I fucked two girls. I fucked three girls. That's right. Start drinking, Titus. I'm out. We're out.

I love my fiance. Remember that. I have a question for Hank. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Don't do it.

Oh, Nicky. Nick, don't do it. When you were, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, don't do it. Oh, Nicky. Nick, don't do it. When you were in Dallas, Texas. Henry. Miss Gomez. Yeah. Henry. Is this about Miss Gomez?

Tiffany Gomez. Henry, did you at any point in, break the threshold of the pussy? We friends, though. Tiffany Gomez. You should have charged him beers for that. We're up three. You guys missed it, but Spider having just puked down his chin. Spider had more puke on his face than skin.

That's A for Barstool Barstool. Let's go, Barstool Barstool, baby. Hank, Hank's out of time. Let's go, big cat. How are they close? Who's not doing their job? I have a report. They got a bonus. Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry, Ron. Good job? Alright, I have a report! I have a report!

They got a bonus day. Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry, Ron. Good note, Ron. Good note. I have a report. I forgot about Deutsch. I forgot about Deutsch. I forgot about Deutsch. Though he's been eliminated, Kyle Bauer is currently vomiting his guts up in the bathroom. Oh! That's good for the body.

He went out like a fucking soldier. He went out on a shield. Who? Kyle is throwing up. Oh Kyle is a Viking funeral Take it up Kyle has never run wait wait wait wait Spin spin god I started late. I hope it's not. I'm done. I'm done.

I expect Ronnie Deutsch has an action. No. No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. him. Wait, round it. Rowan, where do you go? Sit down? Because this one's going to take me a while. Sure. Can you hit us with, like, a guy from the UAE? No. No, no. No, don't do it.

Don't do it, Rowan. Don't do it. How's he set up? Ask him what's going on with Israel. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait.

That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait.

That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait.

That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait.

That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait. That's bait! That's bait! Relax! Relax! Hey, light 12! Oh, dude, I just farted that stuff.

Hey, light 12! It's a half-case! That's a smelly egg fart. I'm gonna walk away and pretend like it wasn't. Donnie wants to go to a pool party. A pool party? Donnie! Brutal. Party

Donnie brutal get naked. Oh, I will take my boxers off and put my Show piece we can't let Mook die tonight. No, no, no. Can we agree on that? No, I'm puked. I'm puked. Right there. Fuck! No, you didn't. Oh, look at the glass.

No one saw me. Look at the glass. He puked on the glass. He puked. Oh, no. Count that. Count that. That's your elimination.

No, ew. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, you can't. No. No, god damn it. Do it. Unleash the beast. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Ref, that ain't puke! That's a- that's a common- Ref! Ref! That's a common loogie! That's a loogie! That's a loogie, ref! You guys are such pussies.

Ref, that ain't a puke! Oh, I- Fuck you! No. Is he done? Yeah. Normal. Everyone knows that when you do it.

Dude, I feel like fucking... Ridley Scott or Wilbur Foley. Ref, that ain't puke! He can't stop! That ain't the best. Stop. Please stop. Come on. Is he done?

Ray, get him out of here. I'm trying to get him out of here. Your brain is hot. Nick, get his ass out of here. Get him out of here. Get he done? Get him out of here. No, who was the girl?

Oh, shut up. Shut up. Get him out of here. Shut up, guys. Final words, final words final words final words who was the girl shot it down? final words final words Oh, I can't anymore of that loogie He's back down to have yourself a beer, brother. Oh, no. We're going to end with a Barso Barso Zach battle at the top of the line.

Oh, hold on. All right. Come on, Zach. Zach flew here. Hold on, hold on. He literally flew here for this. My parents are staying at my house. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Let me talk, let me talk, let me a.m. tomorrow. Let me talk. Let me talk. I'm fucked. Let me talk. Let me talk. What? Go ahead, boss. I don't think I really puked.

I think I was just me blowing my nose. I was blowing my nose! I was blowing my nose! Smoking dicks! Get him out of here. Get him out! Gone. Oh, fuck. Gone. All right, now we go. I'm falling for those! Smoking dicks! Get him out of here! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out of here! Get him out!

Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out!

Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out!

Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! Get him out! I can't sit in my fucking posture. I don't want to sit. Everybody, what? Kyle, are you okay? Take my seat. What the fuck is Bauer doing? Get him in here. No, he's out.

He's out. He's out. What are you? Get the fuck out of here. Shut it. You got to do your job. Pace it. Dude, I was the last person in.

Get the fuck up. I was the last person in know i know i'm terrible here immediately deutch is thirsty A couple. TJ! For both. Torchwheel! For this team. Torchwheel. Yeah! Good call! Good call, Brandon! Bro, you're in the jumpsuit. Go, go, go!

Go! Right now! Wait a minute. It's eight! It's eight! Whoa! I got this. I won this. No! No! Tony is so poor.

Tony is tanked. Tony is so poor. Oh, yes! Wait. Make it 84. is let's go Get on his ass! He's got to pour his own beer! He's got to pour his own beer! Everybody! He's got to pour his own beer!

Nobody let Mook die tonight, please! I'm not even talking jokes. If they can see it. 30, 40 seconds in. Jacob. Jay is absolutely fucked. Ron is fucked. Where is Jay going?

Nick is fucked. Oh, man. Hey, what is our ball? This went south fast. That's our guy. You're great. Deutsch. All I know is this dude, Deutsch.

Not by me, though. This dude, Deutsch, is one of the best... One of the best one of the best Sour knots were created You are recreating. Deutch. What's the score? Donnie's talking out. We need you back. No, Deutch has got it. I don't know what's going on. I need Deutch to shut up.

I got you for the other three. Look at it. Deutch, three more. Donnie, come on, Donnie. Deutch, three more. I got a minute and a half. This is insane. Donnie, a beer.

I've never seen anything like this. No, no. Deutch is gone. Heutch, three more. KB. KB. KB, he did the nine beers, nine hot dogs challenge in the fourth inning. Today. Today. He's coming.

At the Cubs game? Yes. nine hot dogs challenge in the fourth inning today today no he's coming yes this is his 24th beer there's no way deutsch feels human thoughts look at that man deutsch is not man. Deutsch is not human. All right, all right. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch.

Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch. Deutsch.

No, no, no, no. He quit. What a fucking hero. Deutsch, one more, baby. Please. One more. One more, Deutsch. One more, Deutsch. No, no, no, no. He's done. Done, done.

Round of applause. Still one of the greatest athletes of our time. Goich. What happened to PFT? I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I don't know. Guys, what happened to your teammate? No, I'm gonna drink tea ever. What are we doing? Guys, what happened to your teammate?

Hey, guys, what happened to your teammate PFT, Steven? Hey, hey! Where's PFT? We need a cup. Did he? I got a bounce. I'm drunk. You can't use Deutsch twice.

It's one of the few caveats. You can use Deutsch twice. Finish him! Finish him! Finish Deutsch twice. Worried about his well-being, though. Finish him out! Just all of it! Two, one. You got a few. Get out of here!

You're ready. Be ready. It's empty! It's empty! It's empty! That's a beer! That's a beer for a martial martial! That's a beer! Count it! Oh, fuck. Fucking abuse! I'm gonna puke his brains out. Bro, I'm about to puke my brains out.

Alive and for me! What are you doing? He doesn't count! He's done! He's done! He doesn't count! He does not count! Get out of here! Get out's done! He does not count! Get out of here! Get his ass out! You're supposed to be out!

Hey. Hey. I see seven next to your name. All right, don't lie. I will allow everything except for a double. I think it's me. Thanks. Sorry, Moe. Oh, fuck.

Now we go. Chug! Be a champion. Be a champion. That's a beer.. Be a champion. Be a champ, Boston City champion. That's you. Be a fucking champion, dude. Be a fucking champion. Be a champion, win this shit.

Win this shit. I can't puke, I can't puke. Your teammate asked for it, Donnie. Quit complaining about it. I respect it. I'll be honest, this is the worst case scenario for our team. You got George getting you.

But then you brought him back. You're not allowed to bring him back. One time. One time. I'll try everything I can. Okay, so. You know there's no double Deutch. Look at Deutch here right now.

Your teammate Kyle requested the Deutch. Deutch. Deutch. There's no precedent for a double Deutch. It's never been done before. Oh. Oh. No. Deutch. $40,000.

Paige just made the greatest save of all time because I tripped over the $80,000 camera. She saved it six inches from the ground. Wait, pass me your empty cup. No, no, no, no, no, no. Get him out of the premises. We don't want Deutsch. Get him out of here. No, no, no, no.

No, get Deutsch out of here. No, no, no, no. No, get Deutsch out of here. We don't want Deutsch. No, please, man. We don't want Deutsch. Deutsch, here I am. There was only one time. There's no way. Because your guys get puking.

Deutsch has a blood-borne pathogen in his lungs. I'm trucking along. Deutsch is contagious. Oh, shit. Okay. I'm going to finish. I'm going to get. Oh, shit. I'm going to finish. I'm going to get to 12, and then we go. Get him out. Get him out.

Get him out. Three, five, four, three, two. Yeah! The Cowboys have done it. The Cowboys have done it. I fucked Donnie. I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean it that way.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, This is the thing. This. We're down to three on three. Yes. Yeah. Whip it out.

Whip it out, Steven. Yeah. Whip it out. The cage race started with me and Che. Yeah. And the reason it started with me and Che is because me and Che are adversaries. That's well documented. We're pals too.

But as Che just said, we're kind of pals too. And I think after tonight. Don't listen to him, Che. think after tonight, Che and I have no choice but to be pals. We've been in this fucking thing for, what are we on, like three hours now? Thank you, Che. Donnie, Mook, and Titus deserve an award for fucking how hard they're going. Ronan deserves an award for having a figure. Hank, why is there a seven next to your name? Because I was the last person in in and I'm also a fucking pussy

Yeah, you're right All right, hey Hey, hey, hey, listen listen listen, I know this recorded show right now, but We're airing this live if they're not W's in the chat for Mook right now, fuck you, dude. Mook is a fucking wagon. If there are not W's in the chat for Mook, fuck you.

Fuck all of you. How are you feeling? Mook, you're a hero. I got two more in there. I've been saying this for a while. I got two more in there. Look at the numbers. The numbers speak for themselves.

Zach, let's go. Go hard. Oh, shit, we both got 12. Let's go. I said 10 was my limit. Is Boots going to get divorced someday? Absolutely. Boots on 16.

Probably. Donnie, fucking legend. Let's go, Zach. We're up three. I can't believe we're fucking down. They're left with The Bachelor, Weird Al, and Che. Aren't you so fancy, Titus? Aren't you so fancy?

Aren't you so fancy? We got an elimination. Brandon, is it Brandon? Yes, I just announced that seconds ago. Stephen Che is concussed. I hate Stephen Che. It's been like, I don't know when this is airing. Stephen Che is concussed.

For the love of God, make it me and Jay. No, please be me. Jay! Oh. For what? No, no beer. No beer. No beer.

No beer. No beer. That's a beer. Good luck, man. I love you. Godspeed, Jay. Wait, what? Are you ready?

Jay, I need all the energy. I want to, Kyle. Wait, what? Are you ready? Jay, I need all the energy. I want to join you. Splato! Splato! Come on, Kate! Kate's looking right. It's me and Jay. What are you doing? Splato!

Kate, you're about to get slammed. Splato, Jay. Kate, over here. Splato get slammed. Kate, over here. Kate, over here. Spin the wheel again. I don't feel pain. Kyle's about to put a wrestling move on somebody.

It's got to be me. If it's not me... Oh, fuck you, dude. Why is it not me? Hank! Hank, what are you doing? It's a move. Oh, fuck you, dude. Why is it on me? Why? Hank. Hank. You've had eight beers. Hank, what are you doing? It's mook. It's mook, Hank.

W's in the chat for mook. W's in the chat for mook. Oh, Chase dying. Chase having a hard day. Hank, look at the numbers. Look at the numbers, Hank. You've had half as much as Donna. Zach, this is where we turn it on.

We got it. We got it. We got to catch up, Hank. We got it. I need you to catch up. Here, I'll move seats. Come over here. Hank, I do not want to put fucking KB in a balloon again.

We don't want to see that. Nobody wants to see that. We've already seen it. We need Spider in a balloon. We want spider in the balloon it's on you Hank okay I've done my part and it's 14 I'm gonna get very hurt. Maybe not. 15. Zach, come back. Put it down. You're not pregnant. What was she saying? Zach.

My tubes are in a dumpster somewhere. I'm not pregnant. Okay, talk to me about being a parent. What's that about? I'll tell you. Hold on one second. Oh, shit. Whoa, where's that about? I'll tell you. Hold on one second. Oh, shit. Oh, whoa.

Where's the ref? Where's the ref? Hey, that was fucked. Talk to me about this week. What did your kids do that was super cool? Titus, I ripped my taint to shreds two times. I think I can have a couple beers, bitch. Okay?

Also, Earmuffs, other team. Kate, you had two kids on accident. It's time to do something on purpose. Kate, time to commit to something. Whether it's a man or a baby. Everybody shut up. I'm about to attempt to do something in beer drinking history that's never been done. Zach. Yes. What I need you to do is, something in beer drinking history that's never been done. Zach!

Yes? What I need you to do is, this is going to sound weird, but trust me, you need to put your head down by my crotch. And let me put my legs over your neck. What? Yeah, Zach, be a man. Sorry, what? Zach, it's time to be a man. For a sense of dexterity.

Zach, it's time to oblige. Oh, cute. It's time to climax. And then we're going to spiral while we drink.? Zach, it's time to oblige. Oh, he's trying to climax. And then we're gonna spiral while we drink. Come on, let's go. Spiral? Wait, but Kate... That was 12 for me!

Oh, Brandon! That doesn't count. That doesn't count. I'm just trying to get you to give me a... No beer. No beer. Sir, Pat, look away if you're watching. Doesn't go I'm just trying to get a Me over here Sir Pat look away if you're watching I'm not kidding though. We have two kids But but I'm we're weird people Is that me? Oh?

Last you gotta go crazy I feel like this is the worst case scenario for everyone. Five, four. Not you, Kate. Not you. Let's go. Don't I, Brandon? Is that a trick?

Yeah, Kate. All right. Kate, hold on. Hold on. Kate, you still want to spiral? Yes. Not with you. You still want to spiral?

What is going on? Down one. Hey, hey, work. Put it to work. Put it to work, Blue. Blue, put it to work. Stop this. We're not losing. That's not fucking fair.

Well, that's fine. It's okay. What happens if it goes bad? All right, you got to get rid of one of these red guys. You got to get rid of one of these red guys. Done. Yeah, I'm done. Yeah. Wait, time out. Drinking time out red guys. Done. Yeah. I'm done.

Wait. Time out. Drinking time out. Drinking time out. Drinking time out. Drinking time out. Can I say something? Hank's out. Hank. Five. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

No beer. That's not a beer. That's not a beer. I got something to say. Two, one. No beer. That's not a beer. That's not a beer. I'm done. I'm done. I got something to say. I got something to say. All right, Kate, talk. You may talk.

Put the camera on him. We need to see how beautiful he is for a second. This is important. Is that a guy? I know. Listen. Listen. Wait.

Hold on. Let me get another beer, you dumb bitch. That's a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer.

Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. Get her a beer. That's a beer What was free pregnant like wait, I want to try I want to tell you about something a little bit harder wait wait Put your drink down this important piece. I need you to close your eyes It's important Titus Titus, I need you to close your eyes. This is important. Titus. Titus. I need you to close your eyes. And imagine.

And imagine. Come on, Kate. Come on, Kate. Come on. We love you, Kate. Let's go. Whoa, whoa. Wait, Titus, this is important. I knew you were listening.

Hey, hey, Brandon! Brandon, Titus is pouring beer out! No, I didn't! I knew you were listening! Titus is the best! Come on, Titus! I need you to imagine America, but it's not a church anymore. Titus, you've had 16. That's way too many. Think of how you'll feel tomorrow.

It's called the United States of Afghanistan. And that's... Another for Titus! Another for Titus! That's where you will be living. Biden, go. I got with you. I got to talk.

I got to talk. Four minutes. The five-minute clock. What's going on? The five-minute clock has started. Are you crazy? Wait, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

They're trying shit. They're trying shit. I'm talking about because I have integrity. They're trying shit. I have integrity. Titus. They're trying shit. The United States Marine Corps has integrity.

Finish that. We need to get Titus to puke. I think Morrow's about to fuck him. I'm gonna fuck him. Morrow, what are you doing? This is casting a fucking common spell. Relaxing Titus zombie. He's at 16.

Kate's gonna puke! Kate's gonna puke! No, Kate's not gonna puke. She's never puked. Okay, my most controversial opinion. Pineapples don't belong on pizza. Okay. No, you don't. Okay, go.

We're good, Kate. Boom, boom. Try it now. That was musician. Titus, fight. Titus, fight. Hey, Kate, Kate. We tried that.

We tried that. You have to finish this one. Kate, what's up? Kate, Kate. The? You are a- Kate. The flag still stands for freedom. And I can't take that away. I'm proud to be an American.

Well, at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the ones who died. Who gave their lives to me And I'm glad we stand up And back to you And take her skills today So I know that I'll have a good time God bless the USA.

. . I got you. I got you. I got you. It's almost like minus eight to zero. I got you. Wow. I'll take the lob. Wow. Kate. Wow. Kate, I'm gonna hype you up. I need you to listen to me.

That's a miss. Kate, I need you to listen to me. No, I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you.

I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. I don't wanna hear you. Get the fuck off me. Get the fuck off me.

Hey, hey, hey, watch out! Hey, hey, watch out! Two minutes, bro! One more! One more! Two minutes! One more! Two minutes left!

I wanna stay with you on a mountain I wanna stay with you on a mountain. I want to land you on a sea. She's not drinking it. She's not drinking it. You're full of shit. Come on. Blow. Blow.

Blow. Blow. Blow. Blow. Blow. Blow. Blow. Blow.

Blow. She's not drinking! We're down three, Kate. It's done. It's done. You hold it in. You got this. Let's go! One more for Titus! One more for Titus! Tie it in! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me!

Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me!

Get off me! Get off me! Fuck you, Kate. Fuck you. Tie this. Tie this. Tie this. Tie this. Tie this. Tie this.

Let's go get Spider. Let's get Spider. Call it. 30 seconds left. Call it. Call it. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Sorry, Chet. All right, hold on, hold on, hold on.

The winner of the 2024 Royal Rumble case race. The blue team!. Don't worry. I want to go on for 30. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. I want to go on for 30. . A legend. Dude, you.. Shortest time. I want to go on for 30. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. I'll let you.

No, no, no. Shortest time. I'm good. I can keep going. We did our best. All right. Good work. Good work, Zach.

All right. This is how it's going to work. You're a hero. All right. All right. I'm going to go on for 30. I want to go on for 30. I want to go on for 30.

Bad luck. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. I want to go on for 30. Bad luck. All right, this is how it's going to work. All right, blue team. Blue team, find a chair. Blue team. Blue team. Blue team, find a chair.

Blue team, find a chair. You know what? We won in a way. Let's go, blue team, find a chair. Blue team, find a chair. You know what? We won in a way. Let's go, blue team. Let's go. Blue team, find a chair. We need Titus. We can't do this without Titus. Red team out.

We need Titus. Red team out. We're good. Red team out. All right, I'll sit down. Red team out. Here's what's... Kate, get off. Get the hell out of here. Get off. Red team out.'s what's Kate get off

Get the hell out of here Get off Red team out Blue team in Find a chair The next time you'll see us Spider will walk in here In a balloon

Yeah Hey Run Run W Run W Hey I can't do it. Walk it out. Run. Run. W. Run, W. Hey.

W, blue team. It's easy. What? What are you saying? Type shit. What? Oh, my God. What a night.

Barstool, Barstool. Sir. Booth, you got me? We did it all night? Yo, we fucking... Oh, my God. That was legendary. That was legendary. Legendary, boys.

Let's just say this. Big Cat picked the teams. He picked his losing team. We will go down in history as the most chaotic case race legends. This is a great night regardless. Regardless. Regardless. Let me start giving out MVPs and let me start.

Yeah, give the accolades out. Accolades. And first it has to start with the man who was first in and last out like a goddamn... Titus. Like a goddamn Titus. Yeah, exactly. Titus! Titus!

Titus! Titus! Like a goddamn Titus. Titus in the head. Where the fuck is Titus? And set it off and he finished it out. Titus, come back. We need you.

He done had 17 beers. 21.5 beers. 21? 21. I wish I had that much time. I would have trumped him. Dana's doing it naked. Where is Dana?

So we have to get every girl to leave. What is he doing? He's getting in the balloon naked. Oh, no. No, no. He's on camera. This is great. This is great.

We're getting naked. Oh, my God. Deutsche legend. Deutsche. No, no, he's on campus. This is great. This is great. We're getting naked. Oh, my God. Deutsche legend. Deutsche. A way to win me over pasta. Lots of pasta. Oh, and bottomless marks. Kyle is keen on some Deutsch.

There's one thing I've seen. He's like, he's Deutsch. He is keen. I'm keen on Deutsch. MVP. MVP. It's MVP. Hey. MVP. What? MVP. Adam'm keen on... MVP. It's a MVP. Hey.

MVP. What? MVP. Adam Boyd, come here. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP.

MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP. MVP, he started it and he ended it. They put pressure on him at the jump. Sit your ass down and fucking take your accolades. Take your accolades. 21 and a half years.

Give us your thoughts. I'll say this. Never in case race history has a man been first entrant, last entrant, had 21 and a half beers. Not even close. And then I said, in my first case race appearance ever, I said, I'll do it. I'll do it. We got to check the architecture. We have to check the architecture on this man.

He is truly built different from the start. He said I'll sit in Che awkward silence Hey, I will sit with Kate through the fucking yeah depths of hell. What do you got? He put himself through hell ahead the red team is currently trying to put someone in a balloon The person they are trying to put in the balloon is a naked Dana Beers. He naked? Dude, he's 6'3", 320. Hey, why is Donnie over there? Donnie's with us, bro.

Donnie's brain's naked. Donnie's just chilling. Donnie's brain has been stripped down. Can I go through our fucking? By the way. All right, go ahead. Also, they got a 15 fucking Ronnie Doidge bonus. Let's not forget that. First off, Deutch is another

Deutch is a whole nother argument. One at a time. Listen to this, Titus. Double Deutch has never been done in case race history. Ever. This is my first case race, but I've watched them all. Double Deutch has never been done in case race history. And yet, tonight

they double Deutch. They double Dedoored. We still won. Let's listen to Kate. Kate, what do you got? You came in here hot. I've been kicked over here because they're getting Dana Beers naked, but my defense was I have two little boys.

I've seen it. I understand. Oh, you've seen smaller. You have a snake. You have a snake. I have. Oh, by all means, come here. All right, boys.

I vomited. Who else threw up? I yacked. I have. I need a chair for him. Oh, by all means. Come here. All right, boys. I vomited. Who else threw up? I yacked. I did not. I only vomited like 10 minutes ago. I vomited hard. Marshall vomited. 10 minutes ago.

Remember what feels like hours. Donnie vomited. Hey, Mark. Yo. I vomited. Mark. Honestly, Mark. This was a Titus and Mook.

Can I go? Can I go? Hold up, hold up. No, no, no. You've got to hold it in. You've got to hold it in. Jesus Christ, man. I told you that about seven weeks. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's a Mount Rushmore with three people on it. And it's Mark Titus, Connor Mook, and the wonton dog. Listen, every team needs a good captain. But I'm just saying. I honestly forgot you're on a team because I'm fucked up. I'm needs a good captain. But I'm just saying. I came in here. I'm not a chugger. I'm a sipper. I put down about 10 plus

beers. It was 16, Donnie. Donnie was 16. The numbers are right up there. Second on our team. I'm at 16. And hey, I play the games by the rules. I just came back from a solid puke session. Nice.

You know. Well-deserved. It's bound to happen. But, like, you know, that's when I calm myself out. I love it. Let me run point for a second. Titus, how do you feel? I don't feel good.

I don't feel good. But I was willing tonight to do whatever it took to make my team. I was willing tonight. I didn't sign up to be captain. I didn't sign up to be the leader of this team. I didn't. I didn't. I'm going to be honest with you.

I was told I was entrant number one. And then I was entrant. I was like the last guy eliminated. I did not sign up for that. I didn't know that was going to happen. And yet I didn't ask questions. I just fucking hammered beers. Atta boy.

Atta boy. And it was actually beautiful. And it wasn't about like if everybody in the chat and everybody on Twitter is talking about me, I don't want that to be the case. No, no. I want it to be about the blue team. Blue. It's about us.

Blue team won. Team effort. I can't. I have another announcement. I'm sorry. Okay, go ahead, Brandon. They were trying to get Dana in the balloon, and PFT's hair got caught in the blower.

There's currently an emergency situation with PFT's hair. Oh, no. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Tape it off. Tape it off. If T could use to lose some hair. He doesn't have hair to lose, I'll tell you that. Hey, Titus, I got to shout you out for that because every time I drank a beer, I was like,

does anyone care I'm just guzzling beers? No, Donnie, we care. Can we get some live commentary on what's going on here? We got Donnie with a beer. And just that little shout-out counted so much. Because I, at some point, forgot. I'm like, why am I guzzling beers in this room? But the fact that every time I finished it, you would come over and be like,

yo, Donnie's got another. Donnie's got another. Hey, turn down their audio. We don't want to hear their audio. They're not even fucking close. If they don't they don't have if they don't have the blue Chopper sprays about us all feel you if they were to give me a chance on that aau team with days Had the chance well now we're in that now we're Gang gang, let me let me give out some more flowers.

I want to give out flowers to Moop. Moop came in and he fucking ate them. Let's go, Moop! Thank you, Moop. He dressed the part and he fucking... It wasn't the top of the morning. It wasn't the luck of the Irish. PFT's hair is stuck in the leaf blower.

Dude. Is he going to be scalped? Like, is his... The skin of his skull is out like an inch. Oh, my God. His hair got sucked up by the fan of the leaf blower. So, this happened at an amusement park. Guys, it's the worst thing I've ever seen.

Wait, listen to Don. Yeah, so this happened at an amusement park near my hometown. They were on some, like, space rider roller coaster, and, like, the hair got caught. And, like, yeah, they had their scalp ripped off. So PFT doesn't have much to look forward to here, but I'm sure these technicians can figure it out. Hey, shout out to Barstool Barstool. Thank you. We can show Barstool.

Barstool Barstool. There's gotta be some company guy we gotta call, like a guy that fixes TVs. He definitely can fix hair. No, dude. We need a barber here. We need someone with a pair of scissors. PFT's been looking at shaving his head for a while.

This might be the night. The only tool a magician does not care. The unintentional night. I'm not joking. It looks dire. I thought I was going to have five beers tonight. So someone here has a pair of scissors, right? I thought I was going to have five beers tonight.

What I'm saying, he's been talking about it and kind of alluding to it. My plan was to have five beers tonight. Cutting his hair, shaving it. But it's one of those things where he's joking about it, but dead serious. There's no way you can do that. One at a time. Hold on. One at a time.

Hold on. Henny, Henny, Henny, Henny. He makes jokes about it. Henny, Henny, Henny. Henny, listen. We don't care about their team. I'm going to talk. Go ahead, Titus.

TVP. Let's go, Cap. Let's go, Cap. Listen. If you look at the standings right now, the standings say I had 21 and a half beers. I don't want anybody to focus about that. Do not focus on that. We're off that, yeah.

Do not focus about that. I want attention showing on Donnie. Yeah. Fucking the wonton Don. What? Beers. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey.

They brought him in with Dana Beers. Hey, Mark. They said that Dana Beers was a fucking crazy drinker. His name. Beers. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. They brought him in with Dana Beers. Hey, Mark. They said that Dana Beers was a fucking crazy drinker. His name is Beers. You smoked Dana Beers by fucking five beers. You smoked him. You smoked him. You put his ass to fucking bed.

You smoked him. Oh, no. I want to focus on Connor Mook. Who? Connor Mook. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You couldn't work. This is important. This is important. This is important. Say is important. This is important. Say it to me twice. Day to day gets nothing but L's in the chat. Nothing. Oh, nothing but L's.

Nothing but L's. Oh, it's 100%. I want the history books. Listen, whether the chat respects him or not, I want the history books to show that Connor Mook, 15 fucking beers, which if he was on the red team. Yeah, Mook. He'd be the top dog Connor Mook, 15 fucking beers, which if he was at the Redskins, he'd be the top dog. Hey, ready for this?

They win double deutch. That has never been done in case race history. Double deutch. Go ahead. Double deutch has never been done in case race history. They went double Deutch, still took that L. Shout out to their team. Shout out to Shawcross.

And here comes Big Cat. Oh, yeah, yeah. To set the record. I don't see nobody in a balloon, so I don't know why he's in here. I want – Shut up. Everyone shut up. Everyone shut up.

Look at Che. Look at Che throwing up. We had a little issue. You're all under arrest. Look at Che throwing up. We had a little issue. You're all under arrest. Look at Che throwing up. We had a little issue. Do you guys see the issue? I don't know what I'm planning on.

PFT's hair. We got PFT's hair fully. Oh, no. That's his hair? No, that's it locked right there? I had to cut him out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hell no.

They had to take the hair off. Oh, no. Why does it smell like to take the hair off. Oh, no. Why does it smell like someone vacuumed a belt? They had to cut him out. Did you guys complete the – wait, Big Cat, did you guys get him in the balloon? Ain't nobody in the balloon. We're chill chatting. Did you get him in the balloon?

I mean, his hair is only 12 inches short. We ain't leaving until he's in the balloon. Wait, we have people saying They just saved PFT's life I got a comment I need to have a comment I saved PFT's life Donnie listen to this Oh he's down

Luke is down Donnie listen to Barstool Barstool W is in the chat But I just checked the reddit And Mook is still gay Oh no Look at the beer count W is in the chat, but I just checked the Reddit and Mook is still gay. Oh, no. Look at the beer count.

Look at the beer count. Barstool, Barstool, two! Barstool, Barstool, he drank a whole six-pack more than you did, though. Yeah, you fucking bitch. Dude, Mook, you big-ass bitch. Mook has many things. He's not gay. Fifteen for... Holy shit, dude.

Hey, hey, can I also add one thing? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is important. Mook is not gay. This is important. This is important. Tell it to him. Mook fucked a red-headed girl, bro.

He fucked a red-headed girl. He fucked a red-headed girl. Mook, Mook, Mook, Mook, Mook, Mook, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, Moog, I miss Ronan Sass. I do. I miss having Ron back in the mix the last couple days. Yeah. What a delight.

Am I right? That being said. Am I right? That being said. We got a mermaid jumping in. Finish your thought. Finish your thought. Hey, Ron.

No, I just feel like you guys, like, I don't expect you to move to Chicago. It's just been a wonderful delight, and I love you both. That's all I want to say. And as a guy. That was eloquent. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. I got a rebuttal to that.

We tried to surprise you guys and put Dana in the balloon. And PFT lost half his hair. And Dana didn't get in the balloon. We're going to go to the site. Get your ass back on the fucking horse. Get your ass back on the horse. It's not over. The deal is we don't leave.

Hold on. The deal is we don't leave until they got someone in the balloon. That's right, Morrow. Morrow's locked. And so let me rebuttal what? I didn't want to get another beer. Let me rebuttal what Titus is saying right there. I won't say it.

I'm sorry, Titus. No, no. Let me rebuttal what Titus is saying one time. One time. Shut up. One time. One time. Has PFT lost half of his scalp or not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. saying. One time, one time. Shut up. One time, one time. Has PFT lost half of his scalp?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let Adam Brode speak. He is past. PFT is now scalpless. If you're a fan of the Yak, you're a fan of Titus and Mook. Period. Shut that shit up. You're pussies.

Get on board. You're a fan of Titus and Mook. You're fucking soft, and you're fucking gay. If you're not fucking riding. Also, also, Kate. Also, Kate. He's already on board. You're soft and you're fucking gay. You're side with the fucking future.

This shit is what it is. And we're fucking. Did you see what happened? Titus put the team on his back I did what I could More than everybody else On their fucking team That's so moved

They're gonna put on the table For the act I did what I was capable of He did it all They wanna do Anything that they can To make this show great Road I fucking love you

Shut your bitch asses up These guys are my favorite dudes In the world Low team Low team world. Low team. Low team. Low team. Low team. Blue team.

We won. And now let's also take a second to give credit to our non-YAC combatants that came on. Barstool, Barstool. Barstool. Nine beers. And tell them what you did. Tell them what you did. Tell them what test you passed.

I passed the Illinois bar. Let's go. That boy. Then Morrow. This man made magic tonight. Tell him what you've been up to. I got more in me. I want another beer.

You a magician. Beer him up. Beer him up. Hey, Jacob. Give this man a beer. He won't use a beer. I got another beer. Give this guy a beer.

Then Henny came through with the fucking double lightsaber. It's always Henny. And he played defense. Say it, Titus. Be honest. I mean, listen. I love Hank. I love Hank.

Hank was PFT Big Cat Hank. Those are the first three barstool employees I ever knew. Those are the oldest relationships I have. So I have to be honest with my boy, Hank. I needed more. Well, we won, though. I need one more. I need one more.

I needed one more. Can we chug it? One more. One more. I needed more. One more. There we go. One more.

One more. One more. Hey, go. One more. One more. One more. I'm a bugle. Hey, hey, what would happen if Hank gave more? I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. And then finally, KB, I mean, KB. Shout out to me.

It's always shout out to me. I'm that dude. Always, always, bro. It's always shout out to Crowdy. Always shout out to KB. It's always shout out to Crow always shout out to KB. It's always shout out to Cody KB came through drunk He's not a beer drinker, but somehow he found a way to be the fucking galvanizing force in our group There there is zero. I want to get someone in a fucking balloon. I want to pivot attention away from team blue

Okay, focus it on team red. What are they doing? Trying to get a guy in a balloon. Wait, wait, wait. Let's go. And finally, I got to give this one around the room to the non-Yackers. Donnie, I started with you, cocksucker. I didn't. Donnie, I started with you.

Donnie, we started with you. No, you didn't. Don got no love. You were out with the other team when I was following. All right, that's fair. That's fair. That's because I know international relations. That's fair.

Then let me talk. Donnie the wanton fucking Don. Like I said, he came in against Dana Beers. All right? Like I said, Dana Beers is talked about as this beer drinker. Like I said, he's been in by fucking five beers, and he's not a fucking chugger. He's a sipper.

But it's a sipper with a hard ER. And I'll tell you what, this boy put in fucking work tonight. And nobody will ever be as consistent as a beer drinker at Barstool Sports as the Wanton Don. And I'll say it a fucking million times if I have to. No one will be as consistent. He'll go to China and drink. He'll go to Hong Kong and drink. He'll fucking go head to head with these motherfuckers.

Pengzai. Dude, Pengzai is the only dude to ever lose to Ronnie Deutsch in a drinking competition. That's right. I can't get my head out of it. Ronnie Deutsch is stronger than Pongzai. He went up against elite international

forces. Alright, Nick, what do you got? Yeah, I'll give you guys a recap. First blower, PFT's hair got stuck, broke. PFT has now bald. Big ol' spot, missing of his hair. Second blower, we got Spider's first shoulder in, and then Big Cat's wig got stuck.

And so that blower, broken. And so now we're on our last blower, three leaf blowers, but Spider needs one more shoulder, and then we can inflate the fucking bitch. It's not even close. It looks like a radish over there. It looks like a goddamn field of fire. It looks like a radish over there Can you give a shout cup to the face.

Show up, bro. And a TKO. All right. Nah. We got more hair in the blower. The new blower. Whose hair is that? Is that real hair? Is that real?

Wait. That's got to be wig. Wait. Is that BFT's hair? Is that Blutman's? That's not Blutman's hair. He wouldn't get too close to a blower. Does Blutman have a weave?

All right. Go ahead, Brandon. Brandon did. We're saying, everyone's saying Yeoman's work. Can you tell us about the hit? No, it was a fun time had by all. I enjoyed being with my friends and watching you all have fun. Great time. Dude, you're the dude in class who tells the teacher that tomorrow's homework is due next week.

Come on. That's good, due next week. Come on. That's good, right? What else? Yeah. You're helping the class. Yeah, okay. Cook. What are they?

They got him. They got him, boys. Oh, no. They turned it up. They turned it back on. You guys are going to feel real dumb in a second. Why? Why are we going to feel dumb?

Why would we feel dumb? They got it. They got him in it. Cause we're ready to be done. No way. Alright, they're bringing him. Spider! Spider! Spider!

Spider! Spider! Oh my god! Veggie tails! Veggie tails! veggie tails! Come in studio fami! Yeah! Wait!

What did he just hit the fucking... That's a small window! What up veggie tails? More air, more air, more air. No, Bill, be a no-go. I think we shake the mask off. No, it's filling up. No, no, no. Fill up with more air. Fill up with more air. Air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air.

Right here, right here. Go, go, go. I will always root for more air. While they're filling them up, let's give a shout out to our top five. In fifth place, Stephen Chang. Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop. While they're filling him up, let's give a shout out to our top five. In fifth place, Stephen Chang. In fourth place, The Bachelor's Act, Shawcross. In third place, Spider.

Second place, Donnie. First place, Titus. But here comes Spider. You see him pop. Dude. Pop him. Go on the court. Let him jump on the court. Do some suicides comes Spider. You see him pop. Dude. Pop him. Go on the court. Let him jump on the court. Do some suicides, Spider.

I'll pay you 20 pucks. 20 pucks to pop him. I think it's clear that we won. I'm going to sneak up behind and pop him. Nick, what do you got? How is it getting Spider in the... Oh, no. Honest to God, we caught a snag on his dick.

Dude, I was hearing horrific stories. Are you okay? PFT, hop on mic. Hop on mic. Hop on mic. Or you got one right there. You got one right there. Guys, what were you talking about in here?

So we want to hear what happened to PFT's hair. We want to hear how hard it was to get into that balloon. Dude, the last time I heard of someone getting their hair pulled out by an amusement ride, they died. I think they got scalped and died. I almost died. But you had hair pulled out and you're still okay? Well, the original thought that we had was we were going to try to get Dana Beers into the balloon under the caveat that he was completely naked. He was going to take off his underwear, and when it popped,

you guys would all see that little fucking goose bump up above. Just like an instant pop penis. That R.L. Stine dick. Bro's got a nipple penis. Yeah, it would have been great. And so we tried to get him in. It didn't really work out. So then we were trying to get Spider in, and we all had to, like, hold Spider, grab different parts.

They put the air blower in kind of nearby me. And as they started to blow, I felt my head get yanked to the side violently. And my scalp starting to, like, just hurt real bad. Navajo type vibes. And then it got worse and worse and worse. And then I was like, stop. There's a problem. Stop. Stop. Stop. The air blower's going so you can't hear anything.

Then they stop and then now I've got a big ass air blower. But Hank was a nasty proponent of you going ahead and chopping it all off. Yeah, because Hank's a fucking hater. I had to cut him out. I think that Big Cat deputized himself as like,

we got no more options, let's cut his hair out. Better him than anyone else, though. It did hurt. Can we just have not the drunkest guy have the scissors? And I was like, I got it. Who's that? Ron, what would the Navajos say if the hair got caught in the leaf blower? Bad luck is a nasty cologne to wear

Exactly the whites the white The whites from time to time would Better looks like on the oru kai were born and spider looks like he's in a fit right now As a as a hair was stuck saying, like, hit the reverse button. I don't think that there's a reverse button on a hair blower. Pat Summitt just hit a reverse layup. Pat Summitt just hit a reverse layup. I don't know if leaf blowers do.

But yeah, it's... No, you're good. Wait, all right. Now I've got a great excuse for going bald, though. It's like I wasn't going to go bald. You look great, though. I wasn't going to go bald, but then the hair blower thing just took my hair out. Welcome to the club.

BFT, welcome to the club. Oh, there we go. Welcome to the club. Listen to Big Cat. Okay, let's do one thing. Let's get all the Che and Titus and Brandon. Where's Brandon? He just came in and got his flowers. All right, let's have all the Yak and Titus and Brandon. Where's Brandon? He just came in and got his flowers.

Alright, let's have all the Yak people come in and we'll finish the show with the wheel and then we'll have Mauro try to hit a half-court shot. Hey, Mauro and Big Cat. I meant Mauro and BFT. Alright, hey, Che.

Che, Titus, Brandon, Kate, get in here. I just stuck my fingers down Che's throat. Can you find Che, Titus, Brandon, Kate, get in here. I just stuck my fingers down Che's throat. Can you find Che and Titus? Can you find Che? Did you guys know that Che's never made himself throw up before? All right, let them sit. Tomorrow, yeah.

All right, we got Che. Now we just need Titus. Dude, Che, you're a legend. Good work, Che. Titus had so many beers. That was crazy. Titus, KB, we're going to finish with the Jaguars. PFT, if you and Mauro are in, we're doing a hair transplant trip to Turkey in October.

Hold on, TJ, wait until everyone's in here. It's going to be very cheap. I mean, for you, it would probably be free. Titus is in the bathroom. He's the man. The thing about Titus is when I found out Titus had a huge thing. He's not throwing up. He's not throwing up. The thing about Titus is when I found out Titus had a huge... He's not throwing up. He's not throwing up.

The thing about Titus is when I found out he had a huge thing, I was like, at least he can't drink a lot. And then he came out and did this. I have no idea if this is going to be watchable. He had 21 and a half. That's crazy. That's crazy. I didn't know it was a meme.

Wait, the bachelor is giving out milk. No, I don't want any more beer. Dan Katz, who surprised you? I said, Mom, you don't... the knowest of me. Wait, the bachelor is giving out milk for people as a hangover cure. Dan Katz, who surprised you? As a mom? Never once in my life. Yeah. Che's been puking nonstop. I just peaked for the first

time like 10 minutes ago. Our best drinker was the bachelor. Alright, let's spin the wheel. Brandon, get in here absolutely magical sir oh i want it would have been amazing i would love to get wet right now all right uh where's titus titus come sit down he's still here, too. Donnie, let Titus sit. And then everyone else get on the court. Morrow's going to hit a half-court shot.

Jay, you're walking off with headphones. Jay, you're walking off. Jay, you got headphones on. All right, hold on. Donnie, let Titus sit. Are we going pure yak right now? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Titus.

No, no, sit down, sit down. Hey, Titus. He's going to do it again. Luke is the true. All right. We're going to finish. Morrow's going to hit a half-court No, no, sit down. Sit down. Hey, Titus. He's going to do it again. Luke is the true. All right. We're going to finish. Morrow's going to hit a half-court shot, then we're done. All right, somebody get the ball to Morrow.

Ain't no chance. No, he can hoop. Yo, get Deutsch on this. Deutsch blows my mind. Deutsch is. Deutsch. We just let him come and go. Can I say something not being mean about him

but also concerned a little? Go ahead, Kate. If he killed me, I wouldn't be super shocked. I would. Deutsch is the hardest I've ever laughed. Oh, God. Moro just took one in the face. Moro, you gotta say the line.

You gotta say the line Yeah Yeah, let's go right now first he goes first shot None of that not a see all right We have to kill ourselves. Oh my god. Alright, get comfortable, boys. There's always a second one. Alright.

We'll just edit this out. I'll do this too. Everyone pretend it was the first one. Alright, ready? If he hits this, we all have to pull our big old clitorises out. Titus, go ahead, Titus. We all got to tug our flaps all the way out of our tights.

First one. First one. First one. First shot. Oh, no. Yeah, first shot. They're very big. It's embarrassing.

Unbelievable from Mauro. This might be the most unwatchable. I don't know if there's five minutes that we could. But TJ, back away, dude. FaceTime is sass. I'm FaceTime is sass. Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone shut up.

I need headphones. I need to hear the sass man. If his bitch ass is doing comedy, he's fired from Barstool. Steve, how you feeling? Let's do it. Steve! Fair question.

Where is he? FaceTime unavailable, bitch ass ass Talk to me twice Steve, are you asleep? No, I'm okay Steve, you were in the top five as far as the amount of beers drank tonight You look like you're in fucking hell right now PFT pulled trig on me

What do you mean? I've never I've never done that for real for myself. As a crony? I asked PFT. He did it. I barfed everywhere. In a garbage can. He was on his knees and I thought I was about to be seppuku.

I was waiting for a plane to crash through. He put two fingers up my throat for four seconds? Five seconds? two fingers up my throat for four seconds, five seconds. Let's get everybody in here. I throw up, I feel good. Yeah, let's finish with a song.

Everybody who's drinking, get in here and let's sing. FaceTime Shane's ass. Oh, I gotta get my phone. What are we singing? Che, I'll make you throw up right now. Let's sing the old-fashioned.

You gotta pick an ugly girl to change your world. Wait, that song's too popular, Kate. If you're a bachelor, you gotta pick an ugly girl to change your world around you. Wait, that song's too popular, Kate. If you're a bachelor, you gotta pick an ugly girl. Tackle Morrow's ass, Brandon, if he does that show. Is Mook bleeding? Mook might be. Yeah, Mook's bleeding.

You're bleeding out your knee, boy. All right. Ew, ew. It took me a while to say this. I need to be drunk. Go ahead, go ahead. Mook, since that wound hasn't healed in, like, months, that's leukemia, brother.

Yeah. Get a lighter and heal that shit up, buddy. You're trying to put your hands on the neck and... No. But I also... We had a very important moment earlier. It was the shut the fuck up about Mook and Titus if you're a fan of the hack moment. What about Titus? People have been fucking talking shit and they need to shut the fuck up.

Titus crushed it. Titus crushed it. Titus is the one. Mook and I have talked. Mook is... Get the chick out of here. Get this chick out of here. Your mic's off.

Everybody's talking shit about Mook. One of my best friends. Right. A little gay. Of course, but that's... Tough to look at, but funny and nice and a good heart. And boy, can he drink. Ed, can we measure his thighs versus Kyle's?

Oh, my God. Oh, he's going to beat him. No. Kyle, thigh to thigh. Thigh to thigh, he might have you. You got the dub. We are the champions. Roan, Roan, can I just say, we're going to sing a song,

but I just want to say, Roan, who's like kind of not even on the show anymore. Roan, Roan, can I just say, we're going to sing a song, but I just want to say, Roan, who's like kind of not even on the show anymore. Yeah. He's on the logo, Titus. 12 beers. Did you say that? No, no, no.

12 beers. That's light. 12 is crazy. He's like popping in like, hey, guys, I'll be in town. I'm from New York. I'll just like be in town. That's light and it's soft,

but you know what? He's on the logo. 12 beers. As a fucking, as a unit though blue unreal blue team tell us backwards there's a lot of spilling it was rigged when you got a beer hey hey even without the spillage yeah we look we love the Anna beers father here we lost a new without this village cuz because village was part of without the spillage. We lost Dana Beers first. We lost Dana Beers first. Even without the spillage. Because spillage was part of the strategy.

Let's be honest, gang. Spilled a whole gang. Jay, no, no. Don't say it's Jay Wake. That's racist. That's racist if you say it's Jay Wake. Jay Wake? No, that's racist.

That's racist. He's a gay. TJ, you have to cut this part. Jay's going to rake in a middle finger emoji into his zen garden. Che, there's a fire coming. You got to talk on the mic. Che, what is that tat saying on your right arm, on your right thigh? Talk to us.

Che, you got to talk. For Yak. We'll have subtitles that are delayed. Che, what are you craving right now? And are you Che what are you Craving right now And are you the drunkest you've ever been Honestly maybe I'm craving pizza and I threw up PFT

Fingers down my throat for 5-6 seconds It was brutal I mean Titus is literally fine right now Titus is literally fine right now. Titus is fine and he fucking... I had to put the fingers down there and then I did the come here motion. Wait, can we get Shawcross on the fucking mic a little bit? Shawcross, get on the mic.

Shawcross put on a fucking show today. Shawcross was 14. 14, led the team. Led the Reds. And had multiple shots beforehand. Multiple hard ones beforehand. Chow Cross, get on the mic and ruin your promising career. I got a question for the blue team.

Yeah, talk to us. I got a question for the blue team. Now that it's over and you guys won, can you at least admit that I didn't puke? You did not puke. I did not puke puke that was conjecture that was hearsay i never puked nobody ever saw it that was snot it was that was a lot of astral intestinal you're sneezing that was not i've ever seen but not it was so much i was so much time one time wait did anyone have over 20 beers? No way.

There's no way. That would be impossible. That's never happened in case racing history. If anyone had over 20 beers, they would have to be a Yak legend, right? I think he's Lacky Edgins. I would say. I about say. Lacky Edgins. Where's Dana? Yak legend. Dana. I would have. I about say. Lac Yejian.

Where's Dana? Yeah, legend. Dana. I would have gone for 30. No, no, no, no. You would have gone for 30. It's just Tom about to take on Ledecky. He said he got screwed.

Wait, get Dana a mic. Get Dana a mic. I think the wheel is bullshit. Dana, come up to the mic. Dana got fucked by the wheel. I was going for 33, boys. Larry Bird. 33? You had 11. You had a third of that.

I was going for a hundred. You have as many beers as I have. Oh, yeah. He had half the time. Some of Dana's resentment towards the situation definitely has to do with the fact that he's afraid that he got Wally pipped by Deutsch. He is very scared. My contract is up in 14 days and I am fucked. I am fucked.

Dave, I do more than just drink beers, I promise. Tune in next week for Dana Beers at the Beer Olympics. Yeah, that's right Che, what would you say is the biggest weakness in your arm? Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch!

Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch! Deutsch! Talk to us Get on the mic

That's honorable How many was it total, Deutsch? Take it, take it. Take it. Use your hands. Jeffrey Dahmer looking ass. Boy, does he look like Jeffrey Dahmer. I am afraid. He's a weird bird.

Wait. Show up at your doorway at fucking 3 a.m. looking ass. Because Donnie and Deutsch were having the weirdest conversation. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Deutsch conversation. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Deutch, I knew since the 2020 pandemic. We got to get him in front of the mic. No, Deutch, come here. Wait, Deutch, come here. Come here. Deutch, Deutch, Deutch. Deutch, come here. Come here.

Wait, time out. Here, here, sit down. I couldn't travel in 2020. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down, Cody. I want to do a travel show that is just pretty much just pong 2020. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down, Cody. I want to do a travel show that is just pretty much just pong-sized. Sit down.

Sit your ass. American drinkers. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? But it's like, can you drink faster than pong-sized? And it turns out that Deutsch was the only guy I found that couldn't drink faster than pong-sized. The guy is an absolute weapon. He seems like a nice guy, too. I mean...

He drank eight beers in three minutes. Yes. That is insane. He's a legend. Anybody that doesn't give him his flowers for that... I was crying. He can drink eight beers in three minutes, but he's still a nice guy.

Most of the people I meet that can drink eight beers in three minutes are someone you don't want to be around. But Ronnie Deutsch, you know, he's always been a pleasure. The all-orange does make you look like you're an escaped inmate. It does have a little bit of... I don't think he has a criminal record. Well, well, well.

Let's have a nice evening. Let's have a nice enough evening. Ronnie Deutsch, what crimes have you committed? Say no more. Say no more, my friend. It was incredible. We get Dana Beers on the mic. I'm right here, brother.

All right. Come on, Dana. This was a penis heavy episode for Dana beers Penis light But can I ask something as the only lady here like Like, what, if you are an inspiration to a lot of fellas, what's the inspiration for a lady to date a guy who is known to be able to chug a ton of beers? No woman?

Not really, sort of. Half, half. She's definitely, she's troubled. I have a mustache, but I also have a vagina. Is that a puke? I also have a vagina. Wait, no, no. We need Mook on camera because Mook had fucking 15 beers. On eight.

Titus. Oh, no. He's gone. Titus. He's got a bloody leg. Let Titus sit real quick. I'm past. All right, we're going to end it right now.

We got two things we got to do. We got a song. Roan, we got a song. We got something else. Hold on. Hold on. TJ, let's do the first thing. TJ, before the first thing, who had the most beers? Mark Titus. Oh,

wow. TJ, do it. TJ, who is in the game for the longest? That's the new logo right there. Yo. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Oh! Oh! Mookie Titus on the new logo. Yes. You'll see that logo on Monday. You'll see that logo on Monday. You'll see that logo on Monday.

We did it. Oh, my God. We did it. Yes, buddy. Wow. Come on Monday. You'll see that logo on Monday. We did it. Oh, my God. You did it. Yes, buddy. Wow. Come on now. We did it. I bet when you were on the New York Times bestseller, you were like, there's no way I'd ever be on the Yaks. Look at that logo.

Oh, my God. Look at that logo. What a logo. Yep. I dreamed of this. I did. I dreamed of this. Did they nerf your ginger?

Yeah, I think they might have? I think they might have. I think they might have. I'm Auburn it. I'm Auburn. Hey, this is where the big boys play. All right, TJ, last thing. I want it. Everyone please like and subscribe.

Subscribe, please. If you're not subscribed at this point. Deutsch, what you got going on? Somebody to say it do it come here. What you got? What you got this summer what you got going on? Oh, this is a good one Everybody It's karaoke. It's karaoke. Everybody. Everybody. Today is going to be the day that I'm going to throw it back to you. Bye now. You should have somehow realized what you got to do. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.

Nope. Backbeat, the word on some street that the fire in your heart is out. I'm sure that you've heard it all before, but you never really have it out. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. And all the roads we have to walk are winding. And all the lights that lead us there a blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. George, don't get out of here.

You're the best, man. You're the best. Baby, you're going to be the one that saves me And after all You're my Wonderwall Why? That's it? I'm sure you've heard it before, but you never really had it down. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. And all the roads that you have to walk are blinding And all the lights that light the way are blinding There are big things that I would like to say to you But I don't know how I'm the one that saves me

And after all You're my Wonderwall Baby You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all To my Wonderwall Thank you, Julia! Thank you! Thank you, baby! After all, you're my Wonderwall.

You're my wonderwall. You're my wonderwall. And after all... Thank you, everyone. Please like and subscribe. K-Space 6 in the books. Say a word. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. It's the act It's the act

It's your strong-jack style Let's stay for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee Swap It's the act Yeah it's time to talk shop Or do a Yankee swap It's the act

It's the act Hey guys hey guys drunkest case race ever thanks for watching thanks for subscribing thanks for liking love you guys thanks for 150k see you on monday love you bye