The Yak - Celebrating Quagmire's 62nd Birthday | The Yak 12-1-22

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Giggity giggityYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Lomo day. The cat will be in here in three minutes. Is that what he said? Three minutes is what he texted us.

So start the countdown clock now. Okay. No KB, no swag today. Nope. Psych. Oh. Damage is already done. The viewers are lost. Nope. Psych. Damage is already done. The viewers are lost.

He's back. A dip from my life. What? Dip from my life. I don't rate you like that. Sass, I was in the soccer stream earlier, and Troops had a joke about your hair that was so either incorrect or just not even close that it was very funny. What did he say?

He said you were sitting there with your Albert Einstein looking ass haircut. And I thought it was just so fucking funny. What is that? Doesn't Albert Einstein have curly hair? He had messy hair. He was messy. Brits are down bad.

Why, did they lose? No. There's been a lot of, they've been taking a lot of heat. That's messy. A little bit. Have you brushed it back? Albert Einstein ass. Am I Albert Einstein ass?

Nobody's ever been called Einstein because of their hair. No. There's Einstein over here. All right, Einstein. Einstein. Having to watch all those games must get pretty exhausting. I would think that's what we would do anyway. Yeah, I think you forget he likes it.

Yeah. He enjoys it. I like how we replaced this mic stand with another broken mic stand. That one's stubby as all hell. Yeah, and it's broken. Is it really? Yeah. I think you might just break your mic stands. I wasn't stubby as all hell. Yeah, and it's broken. Is it really? Yeah. I think you might just break your mic stands.

I wasn't even sitting here yesterday. Sat over there. He does it for the attention. He comes here at night and fucks with them. Breaks it. If I can complain about it on the act.

If it's not one thing, it's another. My water smells so bad in my apartment and I don't know what to do. You have doo-doo water. Yeah, I think so. There's nothing you can do about smelly water.

You just hope it passes. Is there a place you can send it to test it? Like online? He's not going to do that. I'd want to know if I had doo-doo water. There's doo-doo in your water. Still drinking the doo-doo water? I don't drink tap water.

Are you using it, though? Are you using the doo-doo water? Aren't you showering with, like, water bottles? No, I did once when I had the flu really bad, and shit myself and I had to go shower and my water line broke. And so I was just covered in brown everywhere. I don't know what was water, what was me. Oh, Jesus. And I had to do bottled water for like a couple days.

That's got to be tough. Do you heat it up? No. Or just do cold? I just did like room temp. I bought like the gallons. But it was only for like a day. It was like I did a whore's bath.

So armpit and groin. That's about right. Not ass? That's that region. Because you shit yourself, right? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah, but it's clear.

But it stinks. Stinky water. It's not good. Uh-uh. Is it dead rat in the pipes or something maybe? Probably No because they don't have a color I bet right? Shit's crystal

Stinky crystal Bring some in For us to smell tomorrow Scented water would be good I think it would be the worst Like lavender scented water but it just tastes like water How did you pull that off? You couldn't.

Spray it with perfume. That wouldn't have a taste. What's up, Kyle? I feel like it's us against you guys right now. My immune system is in shambles. Why? I don't know. Because of me.

I think I'm getting you sick every day. I'm sick. You're looking sick. I'm sick. There he is. Boys, I'm back. Wow, his voice is loud. I'm getting you sick every day I'm sick You're looking so great I'm sick There he is Boys, I'm back Wow, his voice is loud I'm back I was expecting a little bit of raspiness there

Oh, I fucking missed you guys She too There we go I saw you and I couldn't talk to any of you Yeah, tough And Steven, fuck you, dude Yeah, yeah Steven just

I said to everyone I'm trying to not talk to get my voice back steven would just come to my desk and ask me questions unbelievable i did that three days in a row what was the question like a yes no oh todd bowles that was the first day when i realized it wasn't even work related it was just todd bowles? To be clear, that has not happened since Monday. And I would rather Steven ask me a question than me ask him one because he'll miss it. True. Yeah.

Fair. Point. Guaranteed NBA. Guaranteed NBA. That was a very hard question. It was NBA. Oh, you did a phone-offer and you got it wrong? Yeah.

I was in the mind state. I had a feeling I was going to get a call. I wasn't alerted that I had a potential lifeline. I'd thrown it out at the last show that I could be. And then I was reading a book to my daughter to put her to sleep, and I got a FaceTime from Nick, and I'm like, oh, who was a contract dump for Rashard Lewis in 2010? This at the Orlando Magic traded their aging point guard

for another in a contract dump. I had a reasonable guess. In the same division. What did you guess? Jameer Nelson. What was the answer? Abachi.

Oh. Oh. Why is it? Why am I all the way over here? The chairs have done their own thing. These chairs are always shifting.

They have wheels. I missed you guys a lot. Yeah? Yeah, I couldn't. I saw. I mean, Nick, I literally saw you Monday and Tuesday. I didn't say a word to you. I thought you were just beefing with me.

No, I fucking can't. Me too. That was real. I was responsible this time. It's the first time I've ever done that. No, I'm serious. You definitely went about it the right way. Yeah, what I used to do is I would lose my voice,

and then I'd just have it lost for like 10 days straight and have to have everyone suffer through it. Yesterday, shut it all down. Might have also been a little sick. Yeah. You said you weren't sick. I said I wasn't sick, and then yesterday I slept for six and a half hours during the day.

Oh, damn. Oh, yeah, that's sick. And then I woke up and I was like, was I sick? Yeah. That was the last time you did that. Forever. How good did it feel, though? Incredible.

Damn. Yeah. So what's up, everyone? I don't sleep in the day. Yeah, we're all kind of sick ourselves. Yeah. I ordered $350 worth of Lomo. Oh, let's go.

Oh, hell yeah. That's coming soon. Just fill a kiddie pool with Lomo Sultano in the middle of the room. And where the fuck is Roan's goofy ass? He's just on an island this whole week? Yeah, I think he's there. It's the plot of Lost.

I kind of am pissed at him. Really? He's just having a fun time and we're all sick. I think he's bored. I'm not sick. I just want to point that out. I feel fine. You probably got us sick then.

Although Ben Mintz was sick on the last show and I'm sitting in the chair, so I'm going to not sick. I just want to point that out. I feel fine. You probably got us sick then. Although Ben Mintz was sick in the last show, and I'm sitting in the chair, so I'm going to get sick. Oh, yeah. Ben Mintz has the flu. Yeah. Hopefully he doesn't have to take any time off. He was here. Why did he come in with the flu? I don't know.

It was the flu? Yeah. It was the flu? He had what Billy had. He says it was a little cold. Billy had the flu. God damn it. I wish he didn't do that.

I wish he didn't do that. Yeah. I wish he hadn't done that either. You boys all get your flu shots? No. Fuck that shit. You couldn't wait to get another shot. I got that shit. I got that shit.

How many shots you got in you right now? A lot. Everyone that I'm eligible for pretty much. Everyone that I'm eligible for? Imagine just like being able to get like a Super Mario like invincibility star and then just be like, nah. You've gotten COVID more than anybody here. Yeah. I've gotten it twice.

I've gotten it once. I've had it twice. I've had it four times. I'm basically not even vaccinated anymore. I need to get the booster. What does that mean? I got Johnson & Johnson like over a year ago. Yeah, same. I've only had it four times. Yeah, exactly.

What's your problem, dude? When did I get it? I feel like it was more than over a year ago. How long did the vaccine, how long ago did it come out? Oh boy. Two years, right? I've been two years probably, yeah. Yeah, two years ago. So I got Johnson and Johnson two years ago.

Oh, you're fine. Yeah. You're a healthy man. I'm two years ago. So I got Johnson & Johnson two years ago. You're fine. Yeah. You're a healthy man. I'm not at all. So what's the vibes now? I feel like I was... Well, Kyle's vibes are low. It's pretty much wrecked the whole show. I'm sorry.

Yeah, it's brain and physical. You get the alpha brain? Shit. Dude. Nah. You're not getting it? I can't believe Liver King does steroids. You watched the whole video? Yeah. I You're not getting it? I can't believe Leverking does steroids. You watched the whole video?

I'm still not behind it. I put it up on the TV. I actually know one of the dudes who was featured in that. What? I know one of the guys

who was like doing the takedown. Oh, really? Yeah. What's the page called? No plates, no... Yeah, no... Oh, he did it?

I don't know him. I know another guy who is part of the takedown. It's an awesome video. It's really good. What does he do now? Liver King? I think he's just trying to tweet through it. He posted on Instagram yesterday,

and it's just him with a giant bird. He's like, bird hunting is an incredible... I don't think anyone was a fan of his for his diet tips. I think they probably were. There's guys out there. They weren't like follow, were people following him? Everybody was on steroids. No, we all knew because we don't work out.

Yeah. I guess people who work out should have known, but it definitely is kind of fucked up that he sold this whole... If you just put your... If you touch a tree every day... The whole thing was like, you can look like this naturally if you follow my nine... Seven tenets.

And take my supplements. Yeah, exactly. I said on the rundown yesterday, he's probably relieved. He can wear deodorant again, he can have Wi-Fi in his house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can drop the charade. He didn't have Wi-Fi?

I don't think so. He pretends that, too? I don't know. Then he does, like, asshole podcasts. You're sending emails. I did reply to a couple people who, when we had him on Pardon My Take, they're like, you're really condescending to him. Like, why are you being mean to him?

I replied to him yesterday being like, want to revisit this? This is just irresponsible. When did he post this? Yesterday, right? Yesterday, yeah. An hour ago. Oh, an hour ago, yeah. Where is this?

I don't know, but it's fucking beautiful there. When he likes. You know what the best part is? He'll tweet through it. He's crushing. He'll be fine. Yeah, no, nothing's going to happen. No.

Uh-uh. What do the comments say? Is he about to dive into the rocks? This is his most recent post. I think the craziest- Lion Brian just continuing on with the charade. he about to dive into those rocks? This is his most recent post. I think the craziest- Lying Brian just continuing on with the charade. If he dives into those rocks and disappears, it's awesome. The craziest part is how much steroids he was taking.

He was taking so much. $12,000 a month. The guy said on the video, he's like, this is way too many steroids. Look at him. Yeah. He might pop. He's going to. He's going to mess with your emotions, right?

Like, he was probably a mess behind the scenes, right? I knew guys in college who took steroids and they were a disaster. Probably why he started eating them. Yeah, but those guys

took steroids and wore deodorant. Deodorant has aluminum in it. There's a lot of people, I mean, I think Joe Rogan does whatever. You think he's on the gear? He talks about HGH. More Plates guy does it.

He does? Yeah. Brock does it. Yeah. More Plates guy does it. He does? Yeah. Brock does it. Yeah. A lot of people do steroids. Like a lot of big bodybuilders. I should. Yeah.

They all should. Should we put steroids on the wheel? Hemsworth. Steroids should be on the wheel. I just like the saying, are you on the wheel? Hemsworth sells like a workout program too. I like saying, are you on the gas? You still have to work out.

Yeah, but it's like you're not like He's got a big Like steroids are a huge advantage Like it would have taken KB To become KB in like Half the time Damn I haven't even considered it If people were wondering

I wish I would get to experience it In my lifetime But I will never do it Why? Just that it's horrible You just want to get to a point Where they wonder If you're doing steroids

That's what you're doing steroids. That's what you're saying? Maybe, but no. I would like to feel what people feel. I feel like that would be cool. Yeah, the feeling of insane strength and power would be awesome. It ages you so poorly and disgustingly. Liver King is 27. Yeah.

What? Yeah. He and Mincy were college roommates. Oh, they were. Yeah. What do you think would happen to Mincy's body if he did steroids? Oh.

What's his ceiling? I don't know. He looked like one of those... I tried him in college. ...inflatable doctor's gloves. Yeah. Didn't do anything because I didn't work out. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Then you get, like, the desire, or did you feel... Just gave me a rash. Oh, yeah, fuck that. Yeah, that sounds awful. Kidding, I already have a rash. I don't even know where to get them. I just bought them online, so they might not even have been good.

They definitely weren't. They weren't steroids at all. They were not from America, though. Or milk duds. Maybe they were good. I know it's, I guess, just for the physical aesthetic of yourself, but what do you do with that strength? It's not like we're working in the boulder fields anymore.

Yeah, true. People do it for vanity purposes. Just for, that's it. That's strictly what they do. There's no point in being that strong. You know what I mean. We're not like. Those people who are into that, they don't care about how strong they are with numbers.

It's purely physical. Yeah, it's just vanity. I never knew there's a war between weightlifters and bodybuilders. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's people that want to lift heavy weights and there's people that want their body to look good and they hate each other. There's the Brandon.

Yeah. The bodybuilders always are talking shit on... The powerlifters are at least competing. They're like serving their... They have goals and they're doing a feat. Yeah, but powerlifters... They die young. They're disgustingly young.

The bodybuilders die young. Powerlifters don't care about how they look. They look gross. They look gross. They look gross. Like some of them will have a gut. Very uneven bodies. They just care about, which I actually respect. They care about lifting heavy weights.

And I lift the most weight. The bodybuilders makes no sense to me because those guys are just like, you just starve yourself. Either of them are good for you, right? I would assume powerlifting is probably better for you. Yeah, it's generally like, it's almost like a very, you know, primal thing, like guy lifts weight. Who's the Ronnie guy, Coleman? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. A disgusting amount of, like, oxycodone a day just to, like, get past the bearable pain he feels. Is he the one that's a cop as well? He was a cop. No, he's in tough shape right now. He's the funniest, though, because he's got a little voice. He's always like, ain't nobody want to be a weightlifter.

Ain't nobody want to lift this heavy-ass weight. Like, you can't be comfortable. Yes, he's in unbearable pain. The better a bodybuilder looks by bodybuilder standards, the worse he looks by human standards. Yeah. Ronnie Coleman would just lift like, if you could find him lifting like when he's squatting, he squats like on the machine like 10,000 pounds. He's just like, lightweight, lightweight.

Yeah, he's always yelling that. And then there was Steve Mihalik. Yeah, RIP. Shot himself. But what about those guys? What are they? Strongmen? Like Thor and Eddie...

What's his name? Eddie Hall? Or is that the same person? Those are powerlifters. Look at that waist. Look at him. Oh, look at his leg. He's 100 pounds.

Holy shit. How do you find pants? Yeah, buddy. The red looks small. Yeah, buddy! Yeah, buddy! I used looks small. Yeah, buddy! I watch these all the time. Buddy, want to be a weightlifter?

It'd be fun to be in the hype crew. Yeah. Probably smack the fuck out of it. That's just a dude. That's a regular ass guy. That's Devlin. Yeah. How much weight is that? Yeah. How much weight is that? 800 pounds. 800 pounds. Oh, man.

He's repping it. You got to make sure you poop before you do something like that. Have you ever seen the videos of people? No. Oh, yeah. Are people shit themselves doing it? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. And throwing up.

Yeah, the throw-ups are awesome. Throwing up ones are hilarious. Hilarious. Can we see some throwing up? I don't want to see some throwing up. No, it's not gross. It's funny. No, those are funny. How can it not be gross?. Hilarious. Can we see some throwing-ups? I don't want to see some throwing-ups. No, it's not gross. It's funny. No, those are funny.

How can it not be gross? It's fraying. I'm going to back Sass up here. I know he's had a little bit of a tough time ciphering funny videos. Video recommendations. But this one, he's right. This person goes down for a squat.

This is the police. Stop your hamburger. It's the good part. Have you guys ever dove into the police audit videos of the guy who goes and films cops and then gets them with legal loopholes? Oh, I hate those people. Oh, yeah. I'm addicted to them, but they're just, yeah, they suck. They're annoying themselves, but it's pretty good entertainment.

Oh, God. That's not gross, Seth. That's not gross. That is funny. That's not gross. I didn't see it. That's not gross. That was like a pimple popping. I don't even know if that's the one I'm talking about.

There's one that went viral very recently, and I think he's deadlifting. No, people shit themselves while squatting, too. Working out's not for me. No, it's the worst. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose, KB? What? While lifting? I have from puking too hard.

You know, I've never gotten a bloody nose. Oh! That looks fake. That looked good. And I think we saw the end of Metz's 59 kilo run. That's definitely showing you how much dehydration has affected this young man. Pussy. I've never had a bloody nose.

I think I've said this before. I've never had a bloody nose. I've been hitting the nose very hard. I don't think I... And I've also... Not all the things that would give you a bloody nose. And I've never had a bloody nose. You're always picking boogers.

Such as ever. Yeah. Biggest turn off. I used to get fucking. What is? When like a guy just gets a random bloody nose. Well, because you, like, it gives me the ick. Everybody turns into Tommy Smokes.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tommy definitely has bloody nose. Oh, yeah. From the air. Well, every class had the bloody nose kid. Yeah. And that's, yeah.

Yeah. Gross. I used to get bloody noses from picking. class had the bloody nose kid. Yeah. And that's, yeah. Gross. I used to get bloody noses from picking. I was the bloody nose kid. You were. Of course you were. I got nose bleeds all the time. You're lucky you were big.

Yeah. I wasn't. You can't be a small guy with the bloody nose. I remember what you looked like. Never mind. You were so pale. Yeah. I was small until like 15.

Bloody nose kid. Yeah, I'd never have like 15. Bloody nose, kid. Yeah, I never have had one. And I've been hit hard in my nose. It just doesn't bleed. Bloody nose wheel. Ooh. Got it. Shit.

But it's only for Big Cat. Yeah. For me. We just beat the fuck out of it. You have to do it until I bleed. Yeah. I can't believe you have not won. No boat in the face.

It's about like waking up in the morning. High air. It was sucks. In the face. A lot of partying in the face. Had a mean. Ever. Getting hit in the nose sucks.

It's one of the worst places to get hit in the nose. It hurts so bad. On one of my first dates with Pat here in the city, we ended up going out and we ended up getting really drunk. And he invited me back to his hotel because he was in Austin getting really drunk. And he invited me back to his hotel because he was staying in Austin at the time. So he invited me back to his hotel. You want to tell the story of your onset of your relationship? Onset of it?

Don't have to. The first words I ever said to him was he was doing, because remember they worked here. They had a show here. And PFT came to me behind the scenes and was like, could you hop on halfway through their live show and roast each of the guys so like the first words i ever said to pat were about like how gross he was and just like shitting all over him oh wow and he said that was the moment he was like who is she he was into it yeah i've been meaning to him ever since nice

but like the first he came up and was like uh do you want to come out to dinner with me or whatever? The one time he was here. Solo. Solo, just me and him. So we went out and we were bar hopping. And then we wound up at a dance club. I don't know. We were at a club or whatever.

And he invites me back to his hotel room. And I was like, first, there was a 99-cent pizza place kind of across the street from his hotel. So I was like, let's get pizza. It was like 3 in the morning, end of the night. Did you ask Dave? I did. I i was like what's the ranking on this i go to run across the street and i was wearing these high top keds which i don't know how to go out why did you touch your knee were they that high no but they had the highest kids in the world they

had these like toggles on the side for the thing and the one shoelace got caught on the other halfway across the street and i had a piece of pizza i blogged about it i have my face all fucked up um but i didn't want people to know i was with pat so i said i was just like out in the city whatever i trip and fall and i fall i go to save the pizza so i hold it out and i fell flat on my nose in the street and it broke immediately like to the side you saw saw this? I have the picture somewhere on my eyes. Pat witnessed the whole thing. A cab was coming down the street and stopped like three feet in front of me, face down, blood everywhere.

After the first date? This is like our first real date. And he had just invited me back to his hotel. I would be so pumped. I had blood. There was so much blood. It was literally, well, here's the part. I had blood.

My hair was soaked. My hair was dripping blood. As he takes me into the hotel, he was like, well, you part. I had blood. My hair was soaked. My hair was dripping blood. As he takes me into the hotel, he was like, well, you have to come up now. Yeah, we're still going to the hospital. Oh, yeah. He knew. I refused to go to the hospital because I was so drunk I couldn't feel it yet. And I still had the pizza, like perfectly fine.

In fact, I ended up, whatever. We walk past the lady in the lobby and Pat's like she's fine and i'm like mangled covered in blood i'm like i was my teeth everything was fucked and we get up to the room and it was kind of awkward and i was like i didn't want him to look at me so i was like i was still trying to be like cute i was like do you want a back massage or something oh yeah i tried to offer him like a back rub or something. So he couldn't look. So he couldn't see me.

And he was like. You're pushing so hard. Oh, yeah. Kate, stop. Oh, no. Yeah, it was terrible. He was like, no, thank you. I don't know.

And then I woke up in the morning. I think he was like gone. And he had to fly over or something. And I was like alone with the pizza, with my face just like completely mangled. Wow. Oh, my God just completely mangled. Wow. Oh, my God. Thank you for that story. Yeah, sorry.

On the ride home. Holy shit. I was texting my friends. I was like, I'm never going to hear from this guy again. That was the worst thing that could have happened. Did you ever go to the hospital? No, never. Jesus. I have my nose.

I don't know. If you go like this, my nostrils are completely uneven now. Oh, my God. Yeah. It was bad. Oh, that's how. I don't know how you sleep with all these moments that you know i mean that's such a great story that you can someday tell yourself yeah what yep oh my god so did you think there would be a second date after that no no i thought

that it was so awkward it really was like so awkward up in the hotel but like i mean i was bleeding everywhere um there's blood all over the sheets in the morning yeah it was bad oh my my eyes were like completely black and blue and yellow like i did a blog about it somewhere i have pictures of it somewhere broke my nose saving a slice of pizza but i didn't mention pat in the blog or anything. Oh, I remember. Everyone just assumed you got beat. Yeah, yeah.

That was the time. I remember this. Yeah. So, that was probably like two, three years ago now. It was probably

three years ago now. Oh my God. Yeah. We were all talking about it. Yeah, yeah. Like, I didn't know Pat had that dog in him. That's a real man

right there. He's more patient than I. No cocky shit. I think I could live a thousand lifetimes without falling directly on my face. No cocky shit. I think I could do that. You've never fallen?

Not directly on my face. When you were a kid, you did. I don't think I've fallen on my face. Absolutely when you were a kid, you would. Oh, I fell on my head. Yeah. When was the last time you fell did. I don't think I fell on my face. Absolutely. Oh, I fell on my head. Yeah. When was the last time you fell? I fall every once in a while. I usually take one big fall

during the winter. I last fell. Everyone gets one fall winter. Last January, I fell going into the AEW event. I thought a sidewalk was coming, and it wasn't. Oh, you did one of those? Oh, no. Like a dog with shoes on.

When you do the curb, when you think you're stepping off a curb. Oh, it's horrifying. Hold back. Like, ugh. You definitely fell on your face as a kid. Kids fall. My kids just fall all day.

I had a bad fall. You fell. I fell hiking last year in the winter bad, and I, like, fell down. I, like, slid for, like, 40 feet down the mountain by myself. Oh, shit. Yeah. I remember I was hiking by myself, and I remember stopping and being like, that was fucking nuts.

Just, like, free-falling. Like, I totally lost control. Where were you? In New Hampshire. Oh, shit. Hiking up there is, like, intense, too. Yeah, yeah, the White Mountains. Yes, holy shit. like like free-falling like i totally lost control where were you uh in in new hampshire oh shit that's hiking up there is like intense yeah yeah the white mountains yes oh shit wow that was crazy i fell last week oh yeah not surprised you probably fell this morning no i fell last week because i had cleats on and i was oh yeah i was being cocky and i like took the escalator and stuff like that from penn and i was just like regular walking like

on my phone and I was crossing the street right in front of the deli across the street and there's like a little dip and everything's kind of like smooth and just the cleats didn't get any traction. I like feet flew up in the air, landed on my butt, phone flying headphones out. That's almost worse than face.

That's worse than face. Didn't even hurt. Just extremely embarrassing. Multiple people stopped and were like, oh, my God, here's your headphones. Oh, that's rules. That's nice of you to stop. People are going to be like, I saw a guy fall. He was wearing cleats. Probably why.

I'm a big believer in the like, oh, do you need help? But I'm not actually going to help you. What's your move when you get in a public blunder? Do you feign like hot like your lap you scream at the top of my lungs i do an over exaggerated like fuck no i just i hope no one saw yeah and now it's like you hope really no one saw my most like cartoonish fall was i remember it so vividlyly. It was when I used to play hockey when I was a kid and I

got on the ice with my skate guards still on. Oh yeah. I had no idea what was going on. I kept on standing up and falling over again because it's like soft. Yeah. You just keep falling and eventually someone's like, you have your skate guards on. Oh, that's brutal.

You ever fall in the shower? Yes. I fell in the shower last summer and I hit my face, both elbows and both knees at the same time against the ground. A million lifetimes. It's so brutal because you're naked and wet.

Falling naked is the most humiliating thing that can happen. Nobody else saw or even knew it happened except me. Yeah, I fell in the shower a couple years ago, and I just laid there for 20 minutes being like, ugh. That could be dangerous. Yeah. I think I would rather just die than have someone come in

and try and help me in that position. When you're on the floor? Yeah. Ugh, just wet. My asshole's wide open. They just see your asshole. That's the first thing they see when they come in is just your asshole i legit fell downstairs last year and that's a scary fall because it it lasts a little bit it does yeah and you can't you can't no it's you're free falling

it's you have to give in if you can't stop a fall yeah do you roll forward or was it like a butt, butt, butt, butt, butt? No, I – I remember. My two arms – my knees got skinned up and my two arms got skinned up because I got them caught between the rails. And one of the rails, my arm wasn't – shouldn't have fit behind, so my wife had to come help me get my arm out. I remember like – I remember when I was a kid like falling down the stairs all the time and it being like horrifying. Yeah. From like the top of the stairs just like – You, falling down the stairs all the time and it being, like, horrifying. Yeah. From, like, the top of the stairs, just like. You would fall down the stairs?

Yeah. Like, it'd be, like, 15 steps, just, like, banging my head on every step. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that used to happen to me a lot when I was a kid. My dad would always be at the top of the stairs for some reason, looking menacing. I don't know. I actually do remember one time I did it on purpose. Because I used to have to take swimming classes

and I didn't want to go swimming and I threw myself down the staircase. Kids are insane. I was probably like eight. I'll get the limo. Yeah, go get it. Wait, Brandon, your arm got stuck in a railing? And your wife.

What? a railing and your wife what I have a so the whole like Kanye Kyrie thing is not funny obviously because they're actually anti-semitic but I just saw this scrolling through Instagram and it was funny so I I just have to we have to put it up TJ

Kanye West I like Hitler. That's objectively hilarious. Wait a minute. They could have taken this out of context. What an all-time thing to just scroll and just see Kanye West. I like him. At least say it to Alex Jones, so you know it's a good person to talk to. Thank you.

This looks good. Thank you, Big Cat. Yes, of course. I think there's enough for everyone in the booth, too. Holy shit. I like Hitler. That's all it says. It's unbelievable.

No, no, I'll have an empanada. Can we hear the quote? You're not Hitler. You're not a Nazi. You don't deserve to be called that and demonized. Well, I see good things about be called that and demonized. Well, I see good things about Hitler also.

I love everyone, and Jewish people are not going to tell me, you can love... Are they showing American history? I don't want to see that. That's like the most graphic scene. Why would they show that? Why are they showing that? Why would they show that?

Why would they show that on, what the fuck? Just the worst possible That is like the worst scene in any movie. That fucks with me so much. Yeah. I hate it.

Did he say, did he say, I like Hitler? He said, I see good things about Hitler. That's what he said. He said he loves everybody.

He said every human has something of value they brought to the table, especially Hitler. Oh. Oh, especially Hitler. He said every human has something of value they brought to the table especially Hitler. Oh. Oh especially Hitler. He triples down. He triples down

in that one clip. Oh man. Okay. You just don't have to say it. It's so easy not to. It's so easy to not say it. Hitler was a bad guy. Yeah.

That's it. That is one of the safer takes you can have. Yeah. The safest, maybe. Anti-Hitler. I'm anti-AIDS. I'm anti-death.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Anti-cancer. Yeah. Anti-kidnapping. Yep. Well. Yeah.

Yeah. What do you got? We got Armory T. We're going to kidnap Tommy Walker, right? Yeah. I'm taking out my adult braces. That's embarrassing. I think I'd rather watch the curb stomp scene again than Kate take out her braces before I eat.

Oh, it's great because Kate tells us. It's like you don't have to tell us. I feel like I do. It's like when you fall, I look around and I'm like, I have to let people know that I know that it's embarrassing. DJ, pull up American History X. I need to let people know that I know that it's embarrassing. DJ, pull up American History X. I need to distract myself. You guys see the Tyson Foods CFO who got arrested?

Francis' friend. He bit a guy's nose off. Oh. Oh. Wait, what? I thought he just went to a guy's house drunk. Yeah, he fell asleep at someone else's house. What? You're thinking the Beyond Meat guy.

Beyond Meat guy. He bit a nose off? Beyond Meat guy bit a guy's nose off. And then Greer was on TMZ about it. Yeah. What was the Tyson Foods guy? He just got too drunk and fell asleep in the wrong house and got arrested while he was naked in bed. If you haven't done that down the Jersey Shore in time.

He was trying to let them give him a little bit more time to sleep. That's my guy, Rus Russell, who I defend. To him? Yeah. The key card worked, though. That's fucked up. It was at a hotel room? Yeah.

The key card worked. That's not a thing. Way easier to do. A house is insane. Yeah, a house is crazy. Brady walked into the wrong house. KB, didn't you do that? The key card?

Weren't you going around scanning people's- Oh, yeah. You had the master key card for hotel. That's because I could. Yeah. It was in Richmond. My card worked for every room. Yeah. Kyle just sent us a video of him going into every room.

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20% off your first purchase. I've worn Roback to kickbacks, galas, and expos. Whoa. Kickbacks? What's a kickback? It's a chill. Kickback is like, we're having a kickback right now. Yeah.

This is almost a kickback. Kate. This might not be enough people for a kickback. Kate, you're going to Serbia. I think it's location. It's a chill. Six people in an apartment drinking. That's a kickback enough people for a kickback. Kate, you're going to Serbia. I think it's location. It's a challenge. Six people in an apartment drinking. That's a kickback.

That's a kickback. Kate's going to Serbia. Oh, yeah. Oh, can I see the update? Wait, so what needs to happen for her not to? Both my other teams play today, too. Japan and Costa Rica. Oh, you're going to Serbia.

Why are you going to Serbia? They might score. Well, Zaza's in trouble, too, but Brazil is going to keep playing. I'm fine. You're not exactly fine. What if Brazil gets beat 1-0 in their next game? There's a lot of 0s. They're making it to the final.

I'm fine. Brazil scores one goal. Kate loses. So, Kate, yeah, you just need a lot of goals in this Costa Rica-Japan game. Wait, no, Costa Rica's not playing Japan. No. Oh, you're fucked. Yep, I know.

I saw that. Is Serbia a chance to advance or no? I don't think so. Oh. Yikes. Also, UNESCO declared Serbian plum brandy as an intangible cultural heritage item today. Look at my little teams, Morocco, Ecuador, and Senegal just scoring 13 goals. That's impressive.

Look at that. It's out there fucking scoring. You feel good about that, don't you? I feel good. Yeah, that's why I picked them. That's my boys. Is there any underdog team crushing it right now? Well, we really won't find that out until the next round. But there are some, like Morocco

Australia got through. Oh yeah, you're fucked, Keith. I know. I was looking into it this morning. Unless Serbia goes crazy and beats Switzerland. But you're thinking about just moving to Serbia. Oh no, you could actually be okay. If Serbia

beats Switzerland, you would advance. I don't know if they're going to do that. We said you have to go to Serbia. We didn't say you had to come back. If they advance, she's in trouble. She's in trouble even then. Single elimination next round? Yes. No way. Knockout stage. Now it gets good.

Knockout stage. Is Australia at 4am when they scored their goal to win the other night? They're really about it. Oh, shit. Oh, God. What is that? That's just fire.

Yeah, that's war. What? War. Huh. What is good for absolutely nothing? Dude, do me. Good God. We got to do our Christmas special, by the way.

Yeah. Hmm. What about eggnog? Yeah, eggnog and all that. We're going to do that. No, no, we got to do that. It's going to be so much fun. We got to schedule it in the next two weeks.

We do, but when's the 12-hour show? We're going to start to do that in like January or something? Yeah, we got to fucking do that. We have to do that. Go get everyone's availability. I will apply for a job right now. We have to do that. We'll get everyone's availability. I will apply for a job right now. We need to have the

Christmas thing done by Christmas. Yeah, so next three weeks, yeah. Yeah, we gotta do it on a night. We gotta pick a night that everyone comes

back in, do an eggnog. Oh, it's gonna suck. I'll start planning that now. Oh, yeah. I'm around all next week. Tyler O'Day's gonna come back.

Okay. Ghost of Christmas Past. Is of Christmas Past. Is him. Maybe. Okay. Should we do a gift exchange? Gift exchange, yes.

Maybe live animals in a box. Classic Yankee stuff. I want the gift exchange. Why not? A minimum of $500. A minimum of $500 gift exchange. Or it has to have a heartbeat. Deal.

Okay. But it can't have a heartbeat. Deal. Okay. But it can't be an insect. No insects. Well, they don't have... No, that's not a rule you get to make. I wasn't even thinking that. Now that you said it, you're going to get so many bugs.

I'm going to get someone a litter of kittens. I would love that. Nine kittens? That would be amazing. I would take a kittens. I would love that. Nine kittens? That would be amazing. I would take a litter. I would just take one and then leave it. I'd have to take eight to my mom, but I would keep one. You guys want me to bring in a cat?

Yeah, kind of. An episode of the act, though, where just a bunch of kittens are running around would be great. That would be fun. We could spin it as we're helping an adoption cause. We could have him come in for the show and then we kill him afterwards well sure just need him for the thumbnail

isn't like someone doing that what wasn't like something something like something it was telling us about Milo and Otis yeah sorry I remember those guys yeah they had to get a bunch of different Milos right they were just tossing kittens out after every scene, apparently.

Oh, jeez. Yeah, sorry. Don't Google it. I'm gonna Google it, yeah. Don't do it. Don't fuck with cats. You wanna spin the wheel, TJ? Which one was Milo and which one was Otis? Was Otis the dog? Otis was the dog. Right?

They're both kind of dog names. Yeah, they are. Yeah, you're right. Either of them are cat names. They had an incredible journey. Odie was cool with Mondays across the board? Odie was. Odie was, yeah.

Odie loved every day. What was Nermal's thoughts on the days of the week? I don't think Nermal ever really weighed in. She probably didn't like Mondays because Garfield did. Nermal was a cute kitten that would come visit every now and then. Huh. What about Arlene? Did Arlene have a problem with it? Oh, yeah. She's the one that lives with the fucks Garfield did. Nermal was a cute kitten that would come visit every now and then. Huh. What about Arlene? Did Arlene have a problem with it?

Oh, yeah. Because she's the one that lived with the fucks Garfield. And what was Magenta's association with male? What was her opinion on male? Who are these people? Him.

Magenta. I don't know what he's doing now. He's doing Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues. Oh. Why? Who was Magenta? That was the,

ironically or maybe not so, that was the male. And blue was the female. The girl, yeah. Who was a girl? Blue was a girl. That's like Bluey the cartoon's a girl. Hey, girl. I didn't know blue was a girl.

I thought it was a boy. Salt and Pepper had paprika. It really does fuck you up whenever you're pregnant. What? That's the fourth stooge. No, that's... Curly. Shemp.

Shemp. Shep. Oh, Larry Curly Shemp. Yeah. Ida. Shoop was one of Salt-N-Pepa's biggest hits. Ida is the trans woman who Brian had a crush on but refused to act on. And family guy.

Yes. That's right. She ended up dating Lois' ex-boyfriend. It was actually kind of like heartbreak. Wasn't Quagmire's dad a trans woman? That's right. Yeah, yeah. I think it was that.

And a war hero? No. Okay, yeah. You might be right. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Okay, then she didn't date. Maybe she did. Ida, yeah.

Ida was quagmire. Quagmire is 62 now. It's cartoon. He looks good, man. I know. He's really good. Yeah, you wouldn't know. Kyle's been doing this

running bit for a while where he just brings up quagmire. It's not too much of a bit because my TikTok is just all family guy. I'm watching every single one. It's giving me more and more.

The more I watch, the more they give me. It's just the same thing, TJ. It'll be like a Family Guy clip on top. Oh, yeah. It's always this never just Family Guy. It's two videos. A guy from tracks in asphalt on the bottom or something. Yeah.

What a show. Family Guy is made for like 30-second on tiktok the comments are hilarious they're like kids and like the top one is always like stewie carries this show good shit just good great shit Good shit Just good shit Great shit Good shit Stewie does carry He really does No he doesn't

I don't think he carries Stewie-Brian relationship carries it And Brian comes in Peter is the funniest He is Yeah he is I mean Stewie He's the most consistently funny

He's the funniest He's the funniest thing on the show. Yeah, but across the board, Stewie is just not for me. Peter's the funniest. Peter is the funniest. So, Meg, who is? Chris isn't funny. Chris isn't funny.

Meg isn't funny. Meg is funny. Lois is not funny. Lois is eye candy. When Meg does anything and they say, shut up, Meg, that's funny. That's not her. It's Meg-centric? No, but it's Peter eye candy. When Meg does anything and they say, shut up, Meg, that's funny. That's not her. It's Meg-centric? No, but it's Peter that's doing it.

Peter is the funny one. Come on now. Let's be serious. I'm being serious, Peter. You're doing stats like... Joke rate, hit to miss rate, Peter. Peter. Might not have the highest ceiling

But he's definitely the most There probably are some side characters That have the consistency of Peter Right But Man I don't know Who?

It's Peter's show It is It's Pete's Say what you want If you actually break it down Peter Of all the Griffins Peter is like the only

Actually funny one. No. No. Stewie can be, but he's a baby. He's right. He's right. Defend that. He's a baby.

Defend that. You could say like, oh, that was qualified for that. He's a baby. He could be disqualified for that. And it's a baby. Brian? Brian's the least funny in the show. Oh, Brian's so funny.

No, he can be, but... Plus he's a dog. Oh, he is. Oh, my God. We should just be a Family Guy show. I mean, I know he's doing a bit, but he's still... No, I'm on... No, I actually...

It's like half bit, because I'm kind of obsessed with it. How do you think a family guy podcast would do? I know we have like the survivor podcast and then like there's got to be one. There's definitely one. Is there a family guy podcast? There has to be. Really serious analytical breakdown of each episode. Definitely is.

Someone who gets emotionally attached to like the character development. No laughing, no jokes. Yeah. I wanted to have the same tone as, like, a true crime. Fuck. Try it out. I don't know what this could possibly be. The first episode's called Hello, I'm Peter Griffin.

Wait, play it. Play it, play it. All right. Yeah, yeah, hey, buddy. I have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries, and do you sell pants? Is this a clip or something? No, we don't sell pants. Well, excuse me for being retarded.

Would you like to pay? Yes. Is this a soundboard prank? There is an impressionist of Peter who's spot on. Yeah, I've seen that. A lot of people do. Okay, so, card. Yes. All spot on. Yeah, I've seen that. A lot of people do. There's one. Okay, so, card.

Yes. All righty. Pull up to the next window. Wait, so this podcast is just... That is a clip. No, it's just... A prank calls? Was that him pranking another guy?

Yeah, it was a role-playing, it sounds like. Yeah. That wasn't actually Peter. Play another one. He doesn't have time to pie. Yeah, hey, buddy. I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries. Wait, go see if that's just the intro.

Oh, it might be. It might be the intro. Oh, it's the same. Welcome to the podcast. Podcast. Let's go. Make a Podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The podcast. Podcasting. Let's go. How to Make a Podcast, the podcast. Podcasting.

Podcasting. It's how to use a microphone. And welcome to How to Make a Podcast, the podcast. The show leads by example. Podcasting. It's the rules. That's the whole 30 minutes. How to Make a Podcast. These guys are like four behind Anus in the rankings.

Let's get to some family guy talk. It literally is the whole episode. It's the whole episode. He's another one person. Everyone is just one person. If you think about it. That rules. They had a 20-minute intro.

Are you thinking about it? Are they talking about Family Guy? Who is this person? Steve Muldoon, who was standing at the top of the stairs. He was getting in the way on the highest floor of the shopping center. Even he was just one person. I feel like we covered the next Netflix murder drama. This guy's been working his ass off and no one ever listened to it.

If Family Guy the podcast isn't about Family Guy, and it's not really... What is this guy doing? Hey, TJ, can you go to the most recent episode? He was on to something. This might be a good yak segment. The next one is called... The Forbidden Word.

Play it right now. Play it right now. Put it up to a vote. No, no. Let's do his voice. No. I want it. I need more of this guy.

Let's play this right now. No, do not. The forbidden word. Why? What could it be? Yeah. Can't wait to listen to that after the show. Oh, shit.

That's recent. Wait, this is recent. Wait, what's the most recent one? Hey, go to the reviews. There's ratings. Oh, look at That's recent. Wait, this is recent. Wait, what's the most recent one? Go to the reviews. There's ratings. Oh, look at all the four- Co-host auditions? Play that.

All right. Family guy. Family guy. What is this? Help me, Flavlin. Please help me. What do you want? I think I am suffering from mental illness.

I feel like we've entered into a dance party. Yeah, this is like a schizophrenic man. 100%. I don't want to go to jail. Oh, wow. Because I ain't paying all of my money right now. Peter, you do not need a business man to buy a lollipop with your money. But he said it was a giant lollipop.

Oh, really? This feels like an art project. Hey, wait. This is dark. What do the ratings say? Can we read some reviews, please? What can they possibly say? Oh, my God.

I mean, that's clearly made himself family guy. Ha ha. Family guy. What does it say? Let's go to a one dot com. Let's go to a one star review. I don't think the podcast is top quality content. It'll make you laugh.

Peter Griffin, family guy? Question mark. What is going on? Do you think that's it's a YouTube version yeah there's great was interesting that was awesome yeah like I think that there will be like we're gonna in like 10 years they're gonna have a Netflix like remember when we uncover that family guy yeah one show I think there was something I was actually killing people in the background hey of the podcast. Was it? Were they using

I think they were using clips from the show and then the guy was pretending to be a part of the show or something? I don't know. It was Let's see if they have social media. Is there a YouTube TJ?

Nope. But they're probably posting shorts somewhere. They have social media. Is there a YouTube TJ? Nope. Oh. But they're probably posting shorts somewhere. They have to be. How do they expect to grow? That's where his good wipes went to them. The only guy on the podcast. Is he on Twitter or something or Instagram?

Try and sign them. I need to know more. Yeah. Is it a person? Was that him talking at first? That weird voice? We do need a genuinely insane person that puts out a nonsensical podcast. Yeah. Family Guy the podcast.

Addition to Minahan or? It's somebody's Spotify top listen. That would be great. You spent 40,000 minutes listening to Family Guy the Podcast. Family Guy the Podcast. It's made by the small dude, and that is a YouTuber with 2,500 subscribers.

Whoa! Whose last name is Peter Griffin, says the N-word. Oh! There he is, though. And then I was in an episode for three seconds until Fox TV channels dropped me on Instagram.

I don't have a television. It feels very Conor O'Malley-ish. So I need to drive to the television store in order to watch new episodes of Family Guy. But I'm banned from the television store for committing crimes. Today I'm going to risk my life by illegally entering the premises

because there's a new episode of Family Guy that I simply got to see. Just your average Family Guy. I don't like it anymore. I ruined it for him. What an enthusiast. I ruined it for me. This guy still might be insane.

I would say that's very much on the table still. Wait, go up to Frank Sinatra family guy. I do not own family guy. What? Oh, so he is. What? The fuck? Holy shit.

Is this Frank Sinatra? You know, this is Frank. Frank Sinatra. Wow. New York. New York. Yeah, that's how he did this one. Wow.

It's a little creepy. It feels like something that would play in a horror movie. Yes. It's like you're in the hole in the basement, and this is what's on repeat above you. Okay. Whoa. Love you. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

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Total game changer. Shout out, Manske. You have one? No, I'm just curious. Can we get me one? Yes. A round of nose hair trimmers for the boys. I do need a nose hair trimmer.

They got the best boxes in the world. Have you ever plucked a nose hair? What a pain. All the time. I kind of like it. It makes me cry. I know. It's going from your brain. It's going. It's going from your brain. Jesus kind of like it. It makes me cry. I know. It's from your brain.

It's going. It's from your brain. Jesus. I like it. It's like smelling salts. It has the same effect. Yeah, where you're like, ugh. Manscaped nose hair trimmer, so the boys all get them.

I need a charger for my Manscaped, if you could make that happen as well. Okay, yeah, we'll get that. I have my Manscaped, but I lost the charger. Oh, sass. You're such a child. I have my Manscaped, but I lost the charger. Oh, sass. You're such a child. Well, it's... I have actually done that for like every razor. I have like four razors in my house, and I have one charger in none of them, and it doesn't

charge any of them. Oh, it sucks. Are you an electric razor guy? I don't shave. Yeah. I use like hair clippers. I use... Are we just beard for life?

Yeah. I was actually thinking about that the other day because I've had a beard now for sometimes do the mustache. But yeah, I've had consistently facial hair for a decade now. I wish I was a senior in college. I don't think I'll ever go away. I don't think I can. Maybe like when you like so bad.

Yeah. Yeah. I want a beard. So I don't know what my face would look like at this point. Probably fine. Remember Goatee? Probably fat is fine. Remember the first time

I had to flop a lot of beer. Can we do Goatee week again? We can do both. Can we do Goatee week again? Yeah. Like sometime in mid-January when we're really feeling down in the dumps?

Super Bowl week. That kind of lifted me up. Yeah, let's do it. Give me a week in mid-January. All right, the middle of January. What's the Monday? Give me a Monday. Let's do right after the last day of the regular season.

No, no, no. 15th. No, I want dates. I'll tell you what I feel off the date. Or the 16th. January 9th. Monday, January 9th. No, no.

Oh. CJ's birthday. That's also the national championship game. No. 16th. 10th. No, it's got to be a Monday. Oh.

16th? 23rd? 16th or 23rd? January 6th, a new memory. Oh, yeah. You can't do goatees then. I think January 16th sounds right. January 16th will be goatee week.

I'm not going to shave until then. Yeah. Huh? Okay. Goatee week. I don't know if shave until then. Yeah. Goatee week. I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull that off, fellas. Start growing now. You're in trouble, Kate.

No. Oh. I think Sasson might be in more trouble than Kate. I get my mustache waxed like once or twice a month. Uh-oh. That's the reverse of a wooga. You just broke everyone in the chat's mind. A wooga's boys. Hormones after you.

Boys lay down their arms. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, nice. I love this about you, Kate. It's all out there. Yep. That's your pinned tweet?

That's the way to do it. Yeah. I went live getting fully waxed, like full Brazilian wax, to get ZBT more followers on YouTube. Oh, yes. Oh, there's Frank. All right. Somebody was in the news, and they only do something on a movie set for if somebody does an awooga. Yeah.

I saw that. People were sending it to me. James Cameron. And he doesn't listen unless people do an awooga to him. What? James Cameron only focuses on set. He's always looking out of his submarine. And so they have to sound the submarine awooga alarm.

That's the only time he responds. And then he'll go and work and then he'll leave. That's kind of badass. That's badass. You have your own sound. Does anybody like Avatar? It's not good. I don't think anybody likes Avatar. I enjoyed it in a two hours.

I sat in a movie theater. That was kind of cool. You never wanted to watch it again? I never watched it again. It's the most unre-watched movie of our time. I've never seen it. I would say that's probably not true. Okay.

Avatar 6 and 7? Do we even have two yet? Why is this a bone of contention? Two is coming out. There are halfway through. Why would this be a disagreement? That it's the most unwatched movie of our time? Unrewatched.

Unrewatched. Oh, you're wrong. For what it made, I think it's a very unrewatched movie. I don't know. You're wrong. I feel like people who love that shit love it. Correct. Who loves it? I don't know. Is're wrong. I feel like people who love that shit love it. Correct. Who loves it?

I don't know. Is it love like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter? No, no, no. There are people who got depressed after. After Avatar?

Yeah. Look it up. I guarantee you it's the fetishists of blue girls. You look it up. People wanted to be blue people after.

That is true. I remember that. Yes. Do you remember DeAndre Hopkins' Halloween costume? No. It was horrifying.

He went as a very realistic Avatar. Wow. I once saw. He went as a very realistic Avatar. Wow. I once saw Greg Oden in a bar dressed as an Avatar. I tried to get a picture with him, and he walked so fast I couldn't catch him. He was dressed or you were dressed? He was dressed as Avatar. It was Halloween.

Oh, okay. Avatar depression. That part. I probably should have said that part. People are reporting suicidal feelings after seeing Avatar. Those people watch it a lot. The beauty of its hyper-realistic world. Those people probably watched it a thousand times.

They wanted to live on Pandora. The best is the videos of people just walking around the street, two men on the street asking to name two characters from the movie Avatar. Yeah, you can. Colonel and the Avatar. Colonel Avatar. And Avatar Avatarney Weaver. Colonel Avatar. And Avatar Avatar.

Yeah. Unobtainium guy. Tree of Life. That was the mineral they were trying to get? Unobtainium. Unobtainium. They really hit us over the head with that. It's a clip from Family Guy where Peter Griffin's like, is unobtainium hard to obtain?

It's a funny take on Avatar. Never mind. It all comes back to Family Guy. It does. Everything goes back to Family Guy. Good SNL sketch. That's their mineral, Unobtainium.

A guy realizing that their font is just in papyrus. I think it was Ryan Gosling pissed off because the Avatar font is just typed out in papyrus. Oh, no.

Oh, really? Yeah. That's hilarious. I just saw on Twitter somebody said if you look, it's an exact copy of the movie Pocahontas.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like a biblical story the movie Pocahontas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like a biblical story. A guy falls for a native woman. His comrades want to run the natives out. The native woman is betrothed to a native warrior guy, but she's not into him. They're taking the resources. Yeah, isn't he a tree of life?

Isn't he in a wheelchair? Kicked out of the Garden of Eden? Yeah, he's in a wheelchair. He's living, you know, he's... Well, it's an avatar. John Smith? Yeah. Wait, his name's Sully, right? No, but John Smith is Pocahontas, right? It's the guy into Pocahontas, right?

Yeah. The blonde. John Smith? Dude. Mm-hmm. Let's spin the wheel. John Smith could have got so much pussy. Yeah.

Probably did. The wrestler did. Did he wrestle? The wrestler did. Where'd he wrestle? The wrestler? The coach of Oklahoma State. He was one of the best ever. Man, that's like two ounces. I'm selling it for $1,200.

What the fuck? I thought you were supposed to be a fly. Bitch, you know why? Because I'm saying it to you. Fuck, nigga! Okay. A little pump. A little pump. Thank you. A little pump as an avatar. TJ, can you pull up DeAndre Hopkins as an avatar?

I remember it being haunting. I'm going to make one phone call, and then I'm going to come back. I have time to yak for a long time. Yeah, I have to do the rundown. Oh, what time? I don't know. The rundown's in a row? I wasn't supposed to do yesterday.

I have to make one phone call, and then I'll come back. Is that okay? Yeah. Then we'll spin the wheel. Someone choked me for eating too loud into the mic. Sorry. That is creepy. You went all out.

Whoa. Not quite as all out. Not quite as all out as him. That's pretty funny. That's hilarious. He's a Smurf. Can you name any Smurfs? Oh, yeah.

Oh, Papa, Smurfette, Franny. Sleepy, Grumpy. Okay. No, no. All right. I get it. I get it. I've said this before.

I've spent like $400 on a Smurfs mobile village building app on my phone in college. Why? It was so good. it was called smurfs village and it was just like it was kind of like how farmville was you had your crops and it was just like time-based it was a good you would attract more smurfs to your village what i never understood was and i get the whole smurf things he's the only woman but why they developed an entire language and they spoke english but they never developed cuss words they always had to use smurf as an adjective or an adverb or something like that why but they never developed cuss words they always had to use Smurf as an adjective or an adverb or something like that

why if they developed everything else why did they stop there leave it to you to be insulting somebody else's culture I take pride in it

yes yeah yeah that's your culture yes who do you think Big Cat's talking to um yeah Smurf's Village

oh it was the best! How much did you pay? That much up front? No, each time I would get boosts to have my crops go faster. I bought the fishing hole. I bought vanity Smurfs vanity so I could change their hats. I'm not going to lie to you, that does look fun.

Look at that! You would build more houses so you could get more Smurfs. How many Smurfs did you start with? I don't remember. I was a freshman in college. I played all the way to junior year. Then I you start with? I don't remember. I was a freshman in college. I played all the way to junior year. Then I had to stop because I didn't have money. I might have to re-download it. Yeah, it's time to get back into Smurf Village.

God, I hope that's what my son, when he's in college, I hope that's what he's blowing his money on. Ah, it's going to be drugs. Your son's going to be way cooler than Nick. Yeah, totally. Your son is the product of you and Pat, and you said college? Yeah.

I hope down at the Steamfitters. There we go. He's a cool guy down there. Down at the quarry. Down at the boulder factory. I did get my first stitches in a quarry. You got them in there, Kate? Not in the quarry, but I got my first thing that I needed stitches for. My brother threw a rock.

Hit me in the head. From the quarry? My uncle's quarry. My uncle has a quarry in the Poconos. What? People are always dying in quarries. Yes, we went to a quarry and there was just a death. Oh, and growing in high school, that was like where you went to jump off high things.

Yeah. I went to a quarry once. It was fun it's jumping it was great we were at a limestone quarry and it made your skin feel so good afterwards

there was water in it and you jump in apparently yeah it was great that jump that you guys had to do was nuts Kyle's was way higher

than mine I would never have done the one that Kyle did I don't even think I would have done the one that you did Kyle's arms were all bruised from like hitting

yeah it's not worth how high do you think it was it was 35 feet people always like on the one that Kyle did. I wouldn't have done it. I don't even think I would have done the one that you did. Kyle's arms were all bruised from like hitting it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's not worth it. How high do you think it was? It was 35 feet. People are always like, it's fun. It's no,

like when you're falling for like what, three sec, four seconds? Yeah. It's not fun. Oh no, it's horrifying.

Yeah. That sucks. Sorry you guys had to do that. It's a cool experience. It's a good video though. Where's Kyle? Oh yeah, here we go. This is probably the shorter one.

This is the shorter one we both did. That was like 20. That looks so short. That looks so short. That looks pathetic. Yeah, don't show it. That was like 25 feet. I had to work up the guts to do that shit.

That wasn't 25 feet, was it? One I did was a little bit higher. Go to the other one. The 10 meter high dives at Olympic pools. The other one you did is fucking insane. No, that's the same one. That looks like it's almost a median. 10 feet, yeah.

It was high. All right, show the other one. It still doesn't look good. It doesn't look far. You're going to push me. Tell me exactly what you're the most afraid of. Oh, this guy. The height.

Yeah. What's wrong with the height? It's high. Okay. All heights are high. No, I wouldn't want to do that. He just bodied you, Nick. He bodied me.

He was wrong. This guy's awesome. Travis. Yeah, he is. He jumped off one higher than that. Heights don't scare me. What? No, I don't know why.

Look at this. No. Fuck that. I went to the Hoover Dam once, and all I could think was, all I could picture was my body. It doesn't even look, it doesn't even look good. No, that one does. It doesn't even do a justice. No, it doesn't.

No, that one looked impressive. That's crazy. It was freakish. That's crazy, dude. That must have hurt so much. Yeah. I'm waiting for this guy on TikTok, Ryan Bean, to die. Okay.

How? No, I don't want him to, but he does. Is he the guy that's been scaling all the buildings and shit? No, he just jumps off shit. Like into water, Kyle? Stream. I am doing it. Stream jumps.

We'll see him, brother. Keep your arms closed. Arms closed. Those arms were not closed. Not at all. Those arms were wide open. Well, that was a little bit too complex of a rule for Fasoli. I feel like it's pretty hard. Do people actually listen to Tupac?

I hope so. Drinks, top of the mountain. top yeah they should okay okay where'd that come from he just seems like a guy like even I've done this like you just default say he's like one of the top but you don't actually listen to him yeah that is I grew up with him so I can't oh I don't Tupac I do the same thing I never listened to Tupac I always I listen to Biggie Smalls. You've listened to him. But I never go out of my way to... You should go out of your way to listen to him.

I always... I believe you. You pretended to be obsessed with Van Halen in high school. You had a bunch of Van Halen shirts and... Oh, it's the Godfather thing. ...never liked Van Halen. It's the Godfather thing again. Yes.

I've done that one. The Godfather thing was so funny. I don't listen to Tupac. You know who my favorite rapper is? No, I don't. Nas. Pretty good. Yeah, mine too.

I think he's the coolest. Mine's Andre from OutKast. Nas is the coolest rapper. I love him. Andre 3000 is the coolest. Andre 3000 is the coolest rapper. I like the way Nas moved. I do too.

Moved in the shadows. Andre 3000 just walks up to people and plays a flute now. Yeah, he's cool. He's a little disheveled. There's always videos of him playing the flute in like a Dunkin Donuts like sitting down. Yeah. Yeah, that's his big twist. Steven, what happened? Why don't you lean back

excited and do this? Vamos a España. Oh my god. You scored? No, I just started. It's just pure excitement for the game. Steven, you did this. Like Steph Curry just hit a three. I was getting ready for it.

They were in the opposing team's zone, territory, whatever. Close. I don't know. Who are they playing? Japan. They're already through, right? I think so. They won already through, right? Easy. I think so.

They won their first game 7-0, and then they tied. And your goals don't matter. It's a nice treat that there's no commercials during the games. Oh, it's great. But it's just straight through. That is nice. Yeah, it's a nice break. Yeah.

There's Frank again. The games last about two hours. Hey, Frank. Does he have a clipboard? That's a laptop. Oh, okay. Last night, I caught myself, I got annoyed about something. Not actually annoyed, just kind of in distress.

And I mumbled to myself and I went, motherfucker. Yeah. I say it all the time. I say it all the time. To myself. Yeah. I'm starting to have a taste for shirt. Yeah.

And glasses, sided glasses. Oh my God. I played an outrageous amount a taste for shirt. Yeah. And glasses, side of glasses. Oh, my God. I played an outrageous amount of video games yesterday. Six hours. What? What game? New Warzone. But I haven't been able to play video games.

I'm so jealous. I haven't been able to play video games since April because of my air conditioning. Oh. I finally took it out, and now I can play again. Wait, why? One or the other. What? I've explained this before. It's a small room. again. Wait, why? One or the other. What? The outlet? I've explained this before.

It's a small room. Right. It was either the AC or the TV. Because of the outlet? No, because I don't have enough room for both. Oh, my God. That can't be true. Swear to God.

Oh, my God. I have my monitor on the windowsill. That's where the air conditioning had to go. And where do you, so you play in bed? Yes. Lay play in bed? Yes. Laying in bed? No, I take my comforter and I put it up against the back of the bed and then I put all my

pillows on it and I sit on that. Sit against it. And I sit crisscross applesauce on my bed. You really? And the motor's right at your feet? Actually, my legs are sore. How'd you play yesterday? Why couldn't you put it on the wall? There's nowhere to put it. There's a wall, though.

I promise you, there's nowhere to put it. You had to make it short. Between AC and TV? The only place that I would have been able to put it, there would be nowhere to sit. This hurts me to hear. I know, this is tough.

I picked my apartment, not solely, but partially based off of if I could fit a PC setup. Yeah. Yeah. My last apartment, I had a desk where I could play, but this one, my room is really small. It's basically just my bed, and there's a little- Is that a goal? He's got to stop.

What did he do? He's doing every motion that Stephen Shea does. It was the whole this thing. My team just scored a goal. Oh, no. Oh, really? Already? Yeah My team just scored a goal. Oh, no. Oh, really? Already? Yeah.

Just quick. Oh, shit. What? We have to film a video. Okay, so let's do the U-wheel. Oh, shit. I got to run this, sir. All right, let's do a wheel.

I got to go to New Brunswick. Is everyone here tomorrow? Yep. I am, yes. I'll be here tomorrow. I got to go to New Brunswick. Is everyone here tomorrow? Yep. I am, yes. I'll be here tomorrow. I'll be here. D-Rye. I got to get my car serviced tomorrow.

Brandon, probably about time for yours, too. Picking it up at 11. Oh, no. You know what's crazy? The check engine light came on last night, and I was like, fuck, I need to go get it serviced. Who's this? What's going on? KB.

Can I steal KB? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they think they look alike? Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. The check engine light came on, and so I called it. And you wish, Kyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. The check engine light came on, and so I called it. And you wish, Kyle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really hot. And I called, and I was like, I need to make a service appointment. They're like, sir, you have a service appointment tomorrow morning. Just forgot I had made it. Wow. Look at that. Future me looking out for me.

Ask me looking out for future me. Yeah, oh, my God. They're identical in every way. That's. Looking out for me. Ask me. Looking out for future me. Oh my god, they're identical in every way. As Kyle's nose protrudes. Towers over. I mean, for real though. Not really. Not at all. I don't think at all.

There we go. There we go. Two Bizarro twins. In the lobby. Everybody in their doubles. That was so awkward right now. Yeah, he is. You can see it on his face. He wants to get out of this so bad. He doesn't know what he's doing. Look, he's saying hop off.

If he had a backwards look. They don't look alike at all. What is he doing now? He's just like, oh, fuck. Yeah, look. He's like, he's meandering. Oh. Hold her tap.

Oh, man. Awkward. Good shit. Good shit. Good shit. That's awkward. We were watching you just die. That was awkward, but what move could I have made?

Nothing. What other talking points could I have made? He's so pissed that he's like, this is my lookalike. Fran was like, ew, never mind. Is he on The Bachelor? Yeah, one of them. What's his name, Brad? Chad?

No, Dylan. Dylan with an I. Bryce. Cody. What's his name? Brad? Chad? No. Dylan? Dylan with an I. Ethan? Bryce? Cody? Chase? Very nice, yeah.

God damn, dude. This cough sucks. I have it now, too. All right. Well, let's end the show. You guys got to do a video. We got to do the rundown. I'll be here tomorrow.

I'll be here tomorrow. I'll be here tomorrow. I'll be here. Henny? I'll be in New Brunswick tonight. Oh, God damn it. Are we going Henny tomorrow? Oh, fellas. TJ, invite some of your friends.

All right. Not a lot of people are gone. That was tough. I had no jokes about happy birthday to evan underscore ev bar on instagram