The Yak - Confessions of a Repo Man | The Yak 5-10-22

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

auto loan payment or auto loan payment? | SUBSCRIBE here and on YOUTUBEYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I really wish we had that fucking tracking device on KB right now. He's hightailed it for the border. Who knows which one, though? Oh, there he is. Probably the Atlantic Ocean border. We could get a tag on him. Yeah, exactly.

Why don't we just do it? Let's just do it. Hey, KB. Hey, man. Hey, buddy. Did your tag go off? It looked great. Tag go off?

I don't know. Hold on. I'm tweeting out the show. My tag? Sass is sick. Yeah, he's like sick with like bitch assness. Tag dude whips. He's like deeply a bitch.

Your legs look good today, bro. Too late. My legs, tags. Wow. Some goofy ass accents. Shout out dude wipes. I said legs. Legs. I got some goofy ass accents. Shout out dude wipes. I said legs. Legs.

I said legs. That's my bad. Usually I have the tweets out and the Instagram out before we start. You wearing sliding shorts? No, they're just fucking a long sponsored boxer. Oh, you're getting ready for the hanging wedgie. I mean, these would be the perfect garments To get hanging wedgie You have to pre-record it though

Why do you have to pre-record it? So we don't see a little pee pee? Yeah Let's just spin the wheel right now Let's get out of the way We got a lot of stuff to get to I want to get a wedgie Yeah oh my god

Steven's repost I mean Incredible There's no one like Steven Che And I We'll get to it But let's spin the wheel And then let's just get into the real stuff

Spin that shit It's gonna be KB7 drinks Oh shit Please See ya wheel I will See ya wheel On with you bitch

So Steven Yes Yes And where do you want to start? Lick your teeth a little bit. One more. That was nice. I've been hearing that.

I've been hearing that. Stop licking your mouths, everyone. I have a funny side Steven story that happened an hour ago. Frank walked up to Jake Marsh and he goes, I'm the repo man. I'm here to take your glasses. Jake Marsh goes, I'm not Stephen Che. And he's like, uh.

Did he not know? He didn't know. Did he not know the difference between me and Jake or he didn't know what happened this morning? No, he didn't know the difference between you and Jake. He just saw glasses walking towards him. He's like, there's Stephen Che. He was making a Stephen Che joke. He just snapped Stephen Che in front of him.

I'd actually love to hear what Frank's breakdown of all of our, like what's the defining characteristic he knows. Because he saw me on the street yesterday. Frank only gradually unlocks physical traits of a different person. Right. Over time. Depending on what he sees, if he regards you as a human like you or as right uh an accessory to his life it's just everyone else then it's just features it's floating glasses me it's anyone

who sweats for rake and yeah verone it's he's got a camera doing the soda review camera owen he's just doesn't take and steven both have glasses yeah when Owen is a... Do you think Frank knows every name on the show? We tested him once and he laughed and was like, Owen. Yeah. He knows it. He just doesn't want to dig deep into the mental epitaphs to dig that out of... He doesn't keep that in his toolbox every day. I think it's more simple than that.

He knows who Owen is. He doesn't want to say it. He just doesn't acknowledge him as a human being. Fuck Owen. Owen just had a good point, though, that he literally doesn't see race, though. That's true. Pretty fucking sweet. That's true.

Commendable. Very commendable. If we had more Franks in this world, we'd be in a better spot. Let's just think about that for a second. Put that in your head. I can't even comprehend if there were two. There were just Frank's... Oh, man, imagine...

What a storyline it would be if, like, you know when there's a show that does a cheap storyline where they kill one person, and then their twin brother comes back? Yeah. If Frank had a twin brother who just walked in the office one day? Frank's been prestiging this whole time.

And his twin brother looked identical to Frank, but was optimistic. Yeah. And a raging liberal. Huge liberal. A thin-ass liberal. Yeah, he hasn't talked to his brother in 10 years because they got a disagreement over politics. He's a 42-ounce thermos of apple cider vinegar. His brother's at Alito's house right now.

Screaming. Steven, say what Alito's house right now. Screaming. Steven, say what happened this morning from your perspective. Yeah, let's go. Don't lick your lips. Okay. All right. So the timeline is I see it. And I'll give some historical context about why I got to this place.

So we got a new car in September. And we purchased it. What kind of car? Toyota Sienna minivan. How many TVs flipped down? Any bells and whistles? None. What does that cost?

What does that cost? Base model? I mean, it's mid-five figs. Did you get the base model? 28 or 32? Slightly up from the base model. It's like 45? Can we pull it up, TJ?

Get the MSRP. There's the MSRP. Yeah, I'd like to see how much this... There's also the adjusted retail price, which, like, you've got to pay some VIG, so... Kelly Blue Book? Kelly Blue Book it. You've got to pay some VIG. Was there a...

You really are a gambling guy. Yeah, well... So... Straight off the lot, was it new, or...? It was new, yeah. I don't think anyone's used the word VIG to buy a minivan yeah joe sinatra probably like this fucking whip i got so big was bad whatever so we didn't lease it we purchased it we put down a down payment on it and then there's some type of you know monthly payment but i paid a bunch of months up front just to ensure i you know we'd be good

wouldn't have to worry about it for a while so in in mid-December, I had a payment due. So I paid it. And what I thought I did was I scheduled auto payments. Can we pull up the tweet with the language? This is a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. It's like Abbott and Costello. Yeah. So I see this.

Successfully scheduled your auto loan payment. Correct. So this is December 6th. Okay. Okay. And you read this as auto. Automatic. Correct.

Not automobile. Automobile. I mean, they could just attack on a couple of minutes. Wait, wait, wait. Which is like in the English language, both are acceptable abbreviations. Automobile and automatic. I feel like you would see that and be like,

that's talking about the car. Oh, no. That's the kind of loan it is. It's literally an automobile. It's describing the loan. An automatic could also be describing, it could be an automatic loan payment. It could be the loan payment

that's being modified from Steven's perspective. I hate that I'm with Che. I'm not with him, but I hate when they make it even somewhat perspective. I hate that I'm on with Che. I'm not with him but I hate when they make it even somewhat vague. The good news is Stephen when you buy your first boat it will just say you've set up your boat payment.

Yes, exactly. Best of all time payment? That's the show. We'll see you tomorrow. The same day I did this I'm in the thing and i'm like i never want to log into this again i will choose to go paperless so instead of getting mailer reminders i'm supposed to get email reminders now this is december 6th so the next email i have from this third-party affiliate is january 14th and just say your payment is due in a couple days in my mind I'm like I set up auto pam straight good yep I never hear from them again never first red flag

never so I'm like wait okay how much can I ask how much the payment is a couple hundred a month and you just oh yeah people the main takeaway is that you don't check your bank account and notice the money being taken out. So we're having our our house just got fixed with a flood. So like we are making making large payments to people like five fake payments. And yeah, things are fluctuating a lot due to the flood. If this was a normal month, yes, I would have noticed it. But we've had a lot of work going on so this goes all the way back to you thinking you

got a great deal buying a house in a one one out of a hundred year flood zone that's i'm not disagreeing with this deal this deal that you got in this house has just turned so poorly for you yeah until the rescue guy next flood like is like super attractive to your wife so then that's the timeline before the rescue guy literally fucking carries steven like yeah big guy moves out of the water he's like here i got him and he's just looking i'm like oh my god he's got a car with optional monthly payment living the dream, the American dream. He's cheat-coded life. So I'm not as tech-savvy.

My wife handles the – she has the Toyota app on her phone. So a lot of times, this happened a lot earlier on, she would get a notification that the car is not locked. You're not tech-savvy? Not the most. Remember when Steven produced this show? Yeah. Two days notice for a link. Can we clown him

for his work in that role? Oh, it was bad. He could not Google. The rise of the yak is definitely like you can point to the moment that TJ took over. Yeah. It was gleeful.

Yeah, there it is. Your dad's still a loser. But TJ looks That's annoying. It was Glee. Okay. Yeah, there it is. Shout out to me for also noticing that and telling TJ to do that. But TJ looks something up where, like, he's a prodigy. TJ, when did you – He looks something up online. He Googled something and we're like, oh, my God. TJ, when is your thing announceable? After I sign paperwork, I guess.

Okay. Announce it, dude. Rats, TJ? Announce that shit. I got promoted. Oh! Steel Stevens, I guess. Okay. Announce it, dude. Rats, TJ? Announce that shit. I got promoted. Oh! Steal Steven's shirt. Well done, sir.

Go. Fuck yes, TJ. VP TJ, are you a suit now? Uh, senior producer, whatever it is. Wow. How quickly till they take you off this show? Shit. I don't want, I don't want Fastuli's fucking goofy ass looking at me all day. All he'll do is smile.

Fastuli can't Google because he can't spell. Okay. I'm not joking. No, I know. He can't spell. It's one of those jokes you laugh at, but it's actually sad. He's giving a no pushback. It's like when 50 Cent was clowning Mayweather for not being able to read,

and it was like, oh, that's funny, but also kind of sad. Is it true, Fasoli? He abbreviates indefinite articles, like an and the and a. We're literally telling him he's illiterate. He abbreviated a. He just doesn't type anything.

He's illiterate, and he's smiling right through it. He's like, copy guys. He did a multiple choice test and just skipped the first, if it was the. He abbreviated a scantron bubble.

He just did the edge. Felt it in half way. He couldn't fill it out all the way. He just did the edge. Okay, sorry. Congrats on graduating. Okay, so last night I got my kids, parked the car. 6.48 p.m. We have confirmation that I locked the car in the driveway that is the end of the night we wake up the next morning this morning my wife looks out the window

and goes hey where's our minivan and immediately like uh right in the driveway like i put it every day she's like did you lock it and i'm like oh god so there have been reports of car thefts at homes it happens often in North Jersey. My grandma was a victim twice. Another downside of your house. Because there's a chip shortage. So I'm like, oh, my God. And we have a security system, so I can go back and see.

But it didn't trigger. So whoever, at this point in my mind, I'm like, okay, a professional guy came in and is taking – Steven thought fast enough that Vin Diesel showed up and stole his minivan. No, it was Memphis Rain. They didn't break the window. We would have heard that. Our bedroom is like close enough for you to hear that. Oh, you've gone in 60 seconds, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like SimpliSafe didn't alert us that something had happened in the area. So I'm like, whoever did this was very slick. So your assumption was professional thief like a really good oh yes you thought your your mid-level minivan got targeted do we have the price on that tj what was the year 2021 but wait you say you would have heard him break the glass and that's fine but you you wouldn't have heard him loaded up onto a tow truck so that's the thing so we call the police the police come we make a report and the cops like asking me a bunch of questions and he's like okay

so what kind of car is this and i was like okay it's a you know toyota sienna 2021 he's like okay i was like this has been going on a lot right like i've heard reports of like cars being stolen from people's houses he's like yeah but it's higher-end cars. He's like, not normally minivans. Oh, you got car-shamed by the cops. What they could do is they could be stealing this for a joyride to go put it in a container or go steal other cars. Picking up their kids from soccer practice. Right.

That kind of joyride. I asked him, I was like, okay okay so what do i do next is this like a murder or cold case we're like if it's not found in the first 38 hours did you just did you actually tell the cop is this like a murder yes i said like what happens because like is this if we don't find it in the next two days is it gone is it in idaho like first 48 that's what you that's what you said that is exactly what i said kidnapping what did they say to you you? He said no because with all the camera technology and stuff like that, they should be able to locate it. We have the VIN number of the plates, et cetera.

You got to put an Apple tag on it. Probably. I'm on Steven's side so far. That's crazy to do. What? Repo a car you haven't been in? Repo the car without any indication? That's what they do.

I didn't know that was the game. They don't knock on your door first oh no no no they just want to say if i specifically woke up to that i would be i would be for pain they specifically try to avoid confrontation they don't want you to know they don't actually want to play the video right now calls emails on the lamb dj this is what happens when you do a confrontation is this going to be i have a spectrum a lot of items it's going to be no problem with getting this vehicle. This is what happens.

This is all real, by the way. Completely real. Whose car? What car? No, no, no, no, no, no. Daddy? See? This would have been Steven. Delorean?

Delorean? Are they taking that back to you? Relax. Relax. Relax. No, you relax. He's mic'd up for some reason. Yeah, I'm the owner of this car.

Well, we're here to pick it up. You gonna make a payment? No, I won't make my payment. It's a hard time. You know how it comes. won't make my payment. It's a hard time. You know how it comes. That's kind of sad. Take it down a notch, bro. Just take it down.

Relax. That always works. The guy finally comes out. First of all, I never thought I would belong to a guy that looks like he's 20, maybe 25 the most. I'm trying to keep the situation calm down. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Mom and dad are there.

The woman flying off of the parking garage you know at least somewhat real you just got to handle this a little more delicately than normal i just said he's mic'd up how would he be mic'd up so i kind of just stepped back and i'm glad that matt kind of took it easy because you know he's a little thin water with luke so matt is trying to you know behave and relax and try to do the right thing. Excuse me. Can we make some arrangements? No, no. His audio sounds.

Chill out, Johnny. Johnny. Oh. I told you he was crazy. Don't let him do that. You son of a. Hey, Michael Jackson butt kick there? I turned my back on the guy. That's my favorite part.

That's real. That was amazing. Real. Oh, boom. on the guy. That's my favorite part. That's real. That was amazing. Boom! Between, and I'm going to say this, he got me between my and my tits. You know, right in that area. The taint.

Yeah, the taint. So Matt is trying to behave and relax and try to do the right thing. At the same time, this kid is like jumping everywhere, screaming, and then he starts dancing, and then he starts, you know, I thought he was going to start doing the robot or something. You know what I mean? We'll straighten this out later.

Do they need the sound effect for everyone to cut? No, no, no. We have a solution. We have a solution. He's like scared of them. I have my solution. He's, like, scared of him. I have my camera in my cut. You can get your camera out of that. Now, all I'm asking you is if you take a picture of me in my car

one last time. Okay, are you ready? Are you ready? It's okay, son. We'll get it back. Don't worry. Are you ready? Okay.

Yeah, I'm ready. All right. This is what Steven would have been doing with his mini-point. Yep. They wanted to avoid this. I don't want to think about that. All right. That's it.

We got to get it back. What are my favorite fucking... Where did you see that originally? I used to watch this show. No way. Of course. I love reality television, bad reality television. Isn't the act we got the one today about her?

You can play that one clip, which is very funny, of Dolores. This is what happens. This is just a... We're telling everyone at home, just be... If you're getting repoed, don't fight it, because bad things can happen. Better be lucky I'm in a good mood. All right, all right. Bro, this is going to clear, man. Just be if you're getting repo don't fight it bad things can happen Go for it a little very wait. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did you do to Bernice?

It was an accident. What did you do to Bernice? Where are you going? Oh, yeah, Bernice is a badass. Yeah. You've seen the last of Bernice. I've never driven a tow truck before, but I can't let him get away. Oh, my God. I used to watch this show all the time They had repo games too

Which was you could play trivia to get your car back Off of repo There was lizard lick towing People love repo shit Uh oh People love repo shit. Uh-oh. Bernice. What a beast. Bernice, you need medical attention. You just fell off the building. Listen, Bernice is fine.

Let's get this Camaro, dog. Bernice, your body is full of adrenaline right now. You could be really hurt and not even know it. Bernice ain't going to no hospital. Hospitals are for rich people. And my Obamacare ain't kicked in yet. You better not tell nobody about this either. Y'all can't take no time off.

And this almost happened to you. Crazy. A lot of people here talking third person just like Bernice. All right, so back to your story. That's just a scared straight for anyone out there. What happens when you get repoed? I thought she was dead. That show was the best.

Bernice was the one repoing, right? Yeah. So it's scared straight from the other end. No, but then she got her window punched in and got her hair pulled. Bernice, I mean, she's fallen off buildings before. She's an action hero. Is that real? Her falling off and flipping off? It's 100%

real. You saw her falling. How could they have even faked that? It's hard to fake that. It's funnier if it's faked. It's 100% fake. Dude, let's act this. That performance? It's funnier. it's faked. Like if they just got, they're like, dude, let's act this. Yes, that performance. It's funnier. It's obviously fake.

All right, go ahead, Steven. So yeah, after I asked the questions of the policeman, he, I closed the door and he was like, oh wait,

hold on. He put on a call and he's like, oh, your car got repoed. And I was like, what does that mean? He was like, well,

they took it. So I can't tell you where it is or anything like that, but I just know that this license plate has been repoed. So I had to put in some calls, and it was actually a pretty easy process to get it, and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to go get it back. So, Steven, not a big deal. Do you need money? No.

Because Brandon – Yeah, and listen, you need money. We can put something together out here. Like that we word. No, we can't. I'm doing okay. Owen, can't we put some money together for Steven? Can we put some money together?

Owen, can we? Yes. Sorry, I was responding. There's quite a lot going on in the office. Sorry. A lot going on today. I was dealing. One of them days.

Sorry, I was out of it. But yeah, no, we're doing okay. It was just a mistake, obviously, but I feel like it could have been worded a little bit better instead of automobile, instead of automatic, but I understand. It didn't say automatic. It said auto. Yeah, but every place sends you an email to be like, enroll in auto pay, not automatic pay.

Am I right? He's right. He's right. He's right. So what every place sends you an email to be like enroll in auto pay, not automatic pay. Am I right? He's right. He's right. He's right. He's typically one word, though. He's right. He just towed your car in the middle of the night.

I guess I have no idea. Between. Wait, you have video. Six forty eight p.m. and seven a.m. this morning. Check the tapes. I must have been a good ass repo guy. It is a really good-ass repo guy because our SimpliSafe is on the front door. It will trigger if there's a very fast car. He deactivated it?

Yes. What? EMP? So what's crazy is that with this Toyota app, you can actually see your car's last parked location. If it's on the move, whatever. That was disabled. Whoa. It smells like your car. Yeah parked location, like if it's on the move, whatever, that was disabled. Whoa. Sounds like your car.

Yeah. Quick side note. So you thought there was apps that are so advanced you could check where your Toyota is, but you thought we were still using apps for a flashlight? Hey, I knew that it exists, but I did not know how to access it. Did you not know this, Pickett? No, I did not know that. Jay uses a flashlight app that has pop-up ads.

There's only so many, like, Che stories that my brain can comprehend at one time. One is a flashlight, and the other is just the color white. Yeah, you could have just Googled white. Tell me that story again in a week. I'm on overload of Che. It is a Che overload. Yeah, right. Ron's saying the boat payment, best of all time.

I'm just racking my brain what would be the best payment. Best payment of all time. Yeah. Refund, or reverse payment, negative payment. I think Jesus dying for your sins. Paying off your mortgage. No. No.

You'd have to get. It'd be like a giant penis fee. Yeah. They come weekly. Alpha of the month fee. You just want it. Just like paying to have your spouse take it. Steven, can we call the repo place?

I already called them. No, I know, but can we call them? Because I want to talk to them about what they did. Let's call them tomorrow after I actually get the car. No, I would like to call them. What are they going to do? Let's call them now. Not even from your perspective.

Today's repo day. I want to know the process of repoing a car, how you deal with it. We're going to have to wait a whole year for another repo day. No, we can do it tomorrow, I promise. We could try today. I have not gotten a car. Let's try today. I think we should call and say you have something in the backseat.

Yeah. Just if they could check it. Child, my child is in the backseat. I have not gotten my kid back there. Is he still alive? I think my kid's back. Can we please do that? It's impounded.

Ask him to check just in case because you don't know where your child is. This is so embarrassing. You've got to be like really chill. Is he back there? Just find a random repo lot and we'll ask about the child. Okay. What kind of car? KB's up for this.

Got it. We're going to ask for the child. KB's up for this. I'm going to ask for the plate immediately. You could probably guess which one he was at, too. If you dug hard enough, KB, you could probably just get it right. With ease. Car repo, ParamusNJ. Hey, have you ever had a custom license plate? No, but I wish I did. Those are cool.

What do you want it to say? TB12. Probably like Bucks fan. Bucks say? TB12. Probably like Bucs fan. Bucs fan. TB12 number one. Number one paid lead analyst. Number one paid lead analyst. 37.5 mil a year.

What if he sucks? I mean, Aikman and Romo combined get 35.5. What if he sucks? He won't. What if he ever sucked up? I think he'll be great, but are you worried? This is just like the opposite. I can't even.

I forget what I was going to say. There's a lot going on. It's an anti-incentive. He's going to want to stop playing now. If he's getting twice as much money. He said he's going to stop playing. You want him to keep playing. He's a buck.

Ideally, yeah, but, I mean, it seems like it's probably going to be a one-year thing, and they'll address it after. Now that he has this, I would assume it's just one year. Well, he wants to play for the Dolphins anyway. He doesn't want to play for the Bucs. So one-year announcement, and then he goes to the Dolphins. I think he goes from the Bucs to the Dolphins and then goes to announcing.

Hello. Oh. I thought they were waiting for Peyton. Well, he's just. Because the Dolphins have two number ones next year. Yeah. Do you do car repos in Bergen County? Yeah.

What's your make and model of the vehicle? Toyota Sienna 2021. It's a 2021 Toyota Sienna. i was just at a question about the process no can you just repossess a car without any contact information or uh warning first yeah yeah generally we don't tell them we're going to try to repossess the vehicle because then they hide it. Let me ask you a couple questions here.

You said it's a 21 Toyota Sienna. Is it an all-wheel drive or two-wheel drive? It's a two-wheel drive. My only concern is that my son may have been in the back seat. Your son may have been in the backseat. Your son may have been in the backseat, but the vehicle got repossessed?

He's a toddler. I'm not positive that's where he is. I'm just saying there is a chance, and my car did get repossessed. If there is a way for somebody to check in the backseat, maybe under the seat? That's kidnapping. All right. No, my only worry is that you guys didn't know he was in the back when it was repainted. Well, first of all, we didn't repossess the Sienna today.

So you didn't know us. We didn't do it. We haven't repossessed the Sienna. I'm trying to help you out here. Have you called the police department on this yet? No, us, we didn't do it. We haven't repossessed the Sienna. I'm trying to help you out here. Have you called the police department on this yet? Yeah, the police were at my house. I didn't even think, I didn't even know.

I wasn't made aware of his disappearance until after the fact. And now I'm thinking maybe he did spend the night in that car, in the driveway. Who is the finance company that you were supposed to be paying? I mistook auto pay for automatic pay instead of automobile pay. So I thought I was paying online automatically, but I just set up one month of auto pay. Automobile pay and not automatic. That's not my question. My question was, who is the finance company

that you were supposed to be paying? That's where it gets dicey. Yeah. Let me figure out and call you back. I'm fucking... Oh my god. Oh That's good Oh my god Oh my god

Oh my god That was incredible But I think he was scared He was scared Yeah I think he's gonna go Check every possessed horse If he calls back

You're just gonna be like Hey I'm sorry we found him He was in his room He just didn't check In his room Like balloon boy Throwback Oh my god He just didn't check in his room. Like Balloon Boy. Throwback.

Oh, my God. You're a demon on the prank call. That's the most monotone a person's ever been. That was impressive, Kyle. That's kidnapping. Dude, he was shook. I feel like you have a case, Steve. Yeah, now, Steven, we figured out a loophole. Yeah, you just got to have your kids sleep in the car.

You really don't want to pay your payments and just have your kids always be in the car. I'm telling you, if you even bring up the chance that there is a child in the back of one of those cars, they will be shook. Steven, if they brought you a Sienna with a kid, would you take both with open arms? We got a pretty full house right now. Oh, come on, dude.

One more kid. You're just pretty used to sleeping in the van anyway. Put the baby in a basket and shove it down the river? That was a little close to home. Why? Because you have kids? Because you have two-wheel drive? No.

I feel like we should put out a thing for Toyota Sienna that got repoed, which was mine. That's fine. We were already talking about it for 20 Sienna that got repoed, which was mine. That's fine. We were already talking about it for 20 minutes. All right. No, that's fine. I just don't want that guy to call anybody. Steve, you're good. It's on me.

Oh, yeah, he might. It's on me. Are they that connected to the repo community? I don't know. I think it's a rivalry. I didn't even know really what repoing was. Like, I understood the concept of it. It's a scummy business.

I can already tell by the tone of his voice. Yeah, we need to redirect all the landlord hate to repo men. Yeah, no, I'm going to disagree. I think repo men are like the silent heroes. He was like, let me ask you a couple questions. Yeah, they're just out there doing their job. They're just taking stuff. Stealing Siennas in the middle of the night.

Living the fucking dream. Yeah, he scoffed at the idea of giving you any type of warning. He's like, no, we don't want any interaction. We just want to take it. I'm on the record that like probably there's very few jobs I would leave Barstool for. Price is right host. I think repo man. Like high level repo man.

I thought dog the bounty hunter kind of job. Yeah, dog bounty hunter too. That's repoing humans. Yeah, that is. That is repoing humans. That's a high level repo man i don't want to be i don't want to be some grunt day one i want to be like going and getting boats you don't want to be getting want to drive off for fiestas it's nice taking

yachts from rich people it's nice taking minivans from struggling oh recently come to an employee even did not pay he stole that van you know know what's an easy way to have all this avoided? Set up an auto payment. Live outside of a flood zone. I literally thought I did do that. No, you set up an auto payment, not an auto payment. In Steven's defense, the rubber belt. Sass hasn't paid rent yet.

I was about to say. Oh, let's repo his ass. It's hard to repo a person. No, no, no, we don't repo a person. Let's board up the room. We repo his room. Yeah, we should go board it up. Let's go live in his room.

I would argue it's even harder to repo a room. Once we're in, we're in. Should we take all this stuff out of his room and bring it here? Removing a room from an apartment would be difficult, in my opinion. No, you just put a lock on the door. Do you think we could prank Sam? Put a lock on the door and he can't use his room anymore. Sam's in bed right now.

Do you think we could spy cam and just start taking his furniture from his room? I think we should call him from somebody else and just be like, hey, we know about evicted. Vass is in bed right now. Do you think we could spy cam and just start taking his furniture from his room? Yeah. I think we should call him from somebody else and just be like, hey, we know about your rent. You're about to be repoed. You're about to be repoed. Hope you don't have any trips. I am the sickest I've ever been. I am actively dying right now.

I feel better today. I'm just not going to come in. I'm still sicker than any human has ever been. I'm getting actively i'm actually fine but i don't want to risk it i didn't like the way he said it wasn't covid because he was like implying it was way worse he was like this is a hundred times worse than covid he's like i'm sick it's not also his symptoms onset very quickly to just go ahead and dismiss covid that's's it. He was here at 2 o'clock and then by 4 o'clock he knew that it wasn't COVID. I think the boy tested.

Rapid test, bro. Yeah, but COVID has it. That's in, right? Alright, Fauci. Chill, bro. Tell me how it is. What job would you give it all up for? Mine's zookeeper.

Mine's tennis pro. San Diego Zoo, call me right now. Bye-bye. I would say rest on heel manager. Have you seen the movie We Bought a Zoo? Oh, yeah. That should be me one day. I don't want to keep it.

It would be a lot of work. Zookeeper? What about a zoo owner? No, no, no. I want to keep the zoo, not own the zoo. So not let's buy a zoo? We bought a zoo? We bought a zoo. We bought a zoo owner? No, no, no. I want to keep the zoo, not own the zoo. So not let's buy a zoo? We bought a zoo. We bought a zoo.

We bought a zoo. We bought a zoo. I'd like to be the home plate umpire on the secondary field at Williamsport. Little League World Series. Oh, that's nice. The international game. Those umps at Williamsport, they just have the craziest strike zones, and no one says It's insane, yeah.

You could throw it anywhere near the plate, and it's a strike. Yeah. Especially off-land. And those fields are so small. The near the plate and it's a strike. Yeah, especially off-lamity. And those fields are so small. The older I get, the more I realize. Yeah, those dudes should do better. They're getting paid like $100 a year, and they should be fucking busting their asses, I think.

Yeah. You think the international arms get treated with more respect? Less heckling. You can't hear what they're saying. It's a wider strike zone. There's a lot more junk coming out of Southeast Asia. Oh, yeah. They let the kids throw curves earlier.

They're not worried about the wrist. The Japanese team is very respectful. They bow to the fans after the game. They bend the hats in a perfect. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those are our dream jobs. What's your dream job, Ron? Tennis pro.

Tennis pro? Yeah. So you can fuck all the women? Pro tennis player. Not a tennis pro. Oh, okay. A all the women Pro tennis player Not a tennis pro Oh okay Pro tennis player I think being a tennis pro

Would be pretty sick No that would be Just giving lessons To milfs Yeah That does sound incredible But I mean pro tennis player Like a

That doll I didn't know we were doing things That I would love to be You can't The best NBA player You can't You just said dog the bounty hunter.

Dog the bounty hunter is a higher level than Nadal. You don't think I could manhunt? Dog the bounty hunter is already a guy. You don't think I could manhunt? You could manhunt. I'm with Rowan. Dog the bounty hunter is better at bounty hunting than Nadal at tennis. He is.

He's the best possible. Yeah, actually, that's true. No, wait, but who is that? Dog the bounty hunter is a goat. Imagine choosing manhunting over milf hunting. So that's what your dream job would be? Milf hunting? Fasoli looks way different.

Wait, what the fuck? My dream job would be co-host of the Catfish, the TV show. Co-host Catfish? With Neve? With Neve, yeah. I applied for that. Hold on. Neve used to be on good terms.

I remember that. Wait, I want to hear this, but just as an aside, did you actually? Yeah. Grass is always greener. Just as an aside, I can't think of a job that you'd be less qualified for. What are you talking about? You would never be able to figure out who's catfishing. I can do a Google.

You'd be like, I believe him. Yeah. You're the most gullible person alive. I mean, I believe the relationships are real, but I would do my research. You'd be like, I did all my research checks out. And it's just like a 400-pound black man pretending to be a little, like, 19-year-old girl. You found true love today on the show. Yeah.

Case closed. They just do reverse Google image searches, and I know how to do that, so I would be great on that show. But I don't think you've ever felt the emotion of suspicion. Steven definitely thought he was in the CIA when he figured out reverse Google image search. I don't think he can do it. Yeah, I don't know. I was suspicious this morning when I thought my car was stolen. You were right when you did it. You thought it was a murder.

It was gone. You started to get suspicion. I thought it was like the most high level car thief around. Those cops definitely had a good laugh at your expense afterwards. Oh yeah. i'm loving like this guy didn't pay his fucking auto loans he he thought we were gonna solve this murder they didn't find that out till that because i like had to go back in my email history and be like wait i did schedule this and then that's when i screenshotted the auto yeah no they laughed you

wasted those cops time big time whole can we actually call the precinct i was thinking about it just be like hey how much are you guys still laughing about this fucking idiot? Can we hear about Nick almost being a... Yeah, I want to go back to that. Oh, no, I just applied. Neve used to follow me. You guys used to have a thing. Yeah, we used to have a little thing.

So what happened? I applied for what? Be like when he was looking for his new gray-haired guy. Oh. What happened to that gray-haired guy? I think he just left. They were on the search for the new gray-haired guy. Well, you don't have to talk to him. I was like, I think he just left. They were on the search for the new gray haired guy. I talked to him.

I was like, I'd do it. Just for a minute. What? Were you going to touch a gray? What happened? Did he say yeah? No, he didn't say yeah. He sent me a link for an application.

He was like, I'll put in a word. But that was the end of me and Nev. Damn. Fucking, what's his last name? Shulman? Shulman. Keep him in the office. He's been to our office several the office he actually got in trouble

and then got out of trouble yeah he put his hand over his heart on an elevator and he promised like every woman is safe on an elevator with him

you remember that picture oh yeah he's basically saying every time we get on an elevator with a woman I'm thinking I'm gonna like assault them he vows not to

that's the exact opposite he has the instinct that he yeah right to say oh Dan he would never even think of that. Psycho.

He put out the vow. I just want you guys to know I'm never going to murder any of you. On an elevator. As soon as you step off, it's fair game. Neve just starts assaulting people in the lobbies. He's waiting outside. Who did he pick? I don't know.

I haven't watched a bunch of people. Hey! Hey! What? Yeah, snooping around. Punk ass in there. You've never been

on the Yak? Oh, I haven't. What a pleasure. Dude, your voice is gone. I sat next to a dude on a live stream. It's a joke. Do you believe

Che's full-time content now? Makes me sick. He drives a fucking minivan and he's full-time content now? Makes me sick. He drives a fucking minivan and he's full-time content. Oh, Jesus, dude. He doesn't. He doesn't have a minivan right now. He doesn't even pay the bills. Honestly, I think autopay didn't turn on, though,

because they won't turn on autopay for a minivan. The bank refuses to. You pay it yourself. It's embarrassing for all of us. Congrats, though, Stephen. Thanks. I appreciate it. Nice air Brandon Walker.

It's very cool. Very cool. What? We're in the exact same shoes as Brandon. He's the exact same shoes. We're in the air, Brandon. Sorry, Brandon steals our shoes here. I had to buy shoes that you can't find because that's all he would do.

You're a copycat, Brandon. I've never seen you before. I've never seen your shoes. You saw everyone else wear Jordan's. How would I. Oh, no, I've never seen you before. I've never seen your shoes. You saw everyone else wear Jordans. How would I copycat your shoes? You've never seen him before? You've never seen him with? All the time.

I've never... Everything. No, that's a lie. Brandon, you were in Mississippi. There's no chance you wore Jordans. You moved up here, saw cool people wear them, and you bought them. Admit it.

That's actually exactly how it went. That's true. He told me. He told me. He said, you need to start getting... You didn't even fucking have shoes in Mississippi. I had shoes. Yeah, yeah. I had a pair of Sacon went. That's right. He told me. He told me. He said, you need to start getting... You didn't even fucking have shoes in Mississippi. I had shoes. Yeah, yeah.

A pair of Saconis. They were nice. I had shoes. Running shoes, yard work shoes. Now you don't even have a yard. It sucks. It does. Agreed.

Running shoes with jeans is a hilarious look, though. Oh, it's such a dad look. You know what I'm talking about? Now you're the cool dad at pickup. Yeah, cool dad. It's equivalent to like a suit jacket over a t-shirt. I know. You already came up to me and you're like, dude, my shoes are cooler than you. That's not what I'm talking about? Now you're the cool dad at pick up. Cool dad. It's equivalent to like a suit jacket over a t-shirt. I know. You already came up to me and you're like, dude, my shoes are cooler than yours.

That's not what I said. That probably is what you said. I said they're better. Okay. Fuck off. It's not the better, cooler thing. Do you know everyone here? Yeah.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I've met everyone here. Yeah, what's his name? Yeah, what's his name? Owen. Oh. I just said it. No, I know Owen.

We fucking met before. We've done some streams. We've done a lot of stuff together, actually. KB's my boy. West Virginia. Roan and I. Brandon goes right back. I don't know the guy in the Celtics hat.

That's Big Stank. He cooks naked. Stank. Roan caught him cooking naked at the gambling house in Philadelphia. Walked in the Philly house. This is hog in the eggs. He had an apron on with his ass out fucking making like 12 eggs at once. What was he listening to?

Yeah. Is this legit real? Yeah. I forget what he was listening to. It was like Eve Six or some shit. Yeah, yeah. I would swallow my pride. I would swallow my pride.

I would choke on the rinds. Oh, he was listening to Eagle Eye Cherry, I think. Yeah, that too. Smash. I was fucking shocked. But he offered me eggs. He was calm about it. He didn't cover up.

He just turned around and was like, you want anything? You want some French toast? He only had the, what do people cook in? He only had the apron on. It was, I swear to God, it was just the apron. The sick puppy. The sick puppy.

He loves movies. What were you guys talking about before I came in? We were literally just talking about the fact that Stephen Chay got his fucking minivan stolen. And then we... And it wasn't stolen. Yeah, KB called a repo lot and told them that they took his minivan and his kids in the backseat. Guy freaked out.

That's kidnapping. He just did that. He's like, that's kidnapping. And that's a loophole. Yeah, it's a loophole. Have your kids sleep in the car. And the one thing... You can say, like, I would feel comfortable checking myself.

I don't want you guys looking for my child. And then you can drive your car. Touching my child, he'd be afraid. He'd bite you. He's autistic. He has pica. He'll eat your fucking, he'll eat your jeans.

He'll eat your jeans. You have to let me. They can eat everything. It's oftentimes paint chips, but sometimes denim. Yeah, they fucking eat the couch and shit. I went to Classic 88, a whole microsuede section. We were all out of couch last night, so we went to the car.

And do not check yourself, because he will eat your clothes. Water's right, it's Pika. Would you be interested in ever doing a case race with us? I'd love to do a case race with you guys. Do you see that? What days do you guys do that on? Tuesdays. Oh, sick.

Let's do it. That's awesome. I'm in. That's today. Perfect. No, you should do it. It would be funny if you and Biz did one with us. What were the teams?

Or is it just like- It was me and Sass. Me and Kyle. Ronan. Ronan, Nick. Who won? The booth won. And then if she did. Are you allowed to puke? The Inca Ronan Ronan Nick Who won? The Booth won And then if she did

If she did Are you allowed to puke Or is it puke No puke Puking Puking Puking And Dana Beers

Drank 20 on his own Oh what a fucking Badass He also That's his whole brand I'd hope he could Drink 20 beers Right before

We did an interview And he was like It's not like I'm gonna Just get drunk And not talk. And then after beer 10, he didn't say a single word. He's a silent blackout. I actually think if you become Dana or one of those giant offensive linemen,

I knew a kid in college, like, I have to drink 30 beers to get drunk. I'm like, I don't want that. That's not ideal. Because you just, yeah, the only way you can get drunk is just be really, really full. Oh, you just have to gain 40 pounds to become legit drunk. I just don't get why people drink 4% beers in that situation. I know, but IPAs I can only do. Like two, three?

If I have five IPAs, I'm crippled. And your mouth just tastes like shit? Oh, your breath's worse. It's like you feel worse. You just feel like creaky. You just feel very creaky. Yeah, it's not creaky. The taste you get after like You feel worse. You feel like creaky. I can feel very creaky. Yeah. The taste you get after like four or five IPAs is just,

but if you're just trying to get fucked up, that's the kid who ate the coach. It's the same thing. Yeah. What a demographic or sect of people are you most surprised to have taken an affinity to Pink Whitney? Who's getting you paid? I would say the African-American. Very much so.

Yeah, they love it. Once I made it, I shouldn't say I, once the Pink Whitney bottle was in a black porno, I was like, holy shit. They fucking love it. We have come. Sell it out. By black porno, do you mean like the humor or penis?

Or like a type of Irish person? A 13-inch hog. Oh, okay. With the empty pink Whitney bottle on it. I don't know if it was like in Bruges or something. Oh, I remember somebody from New Amsterdam said, our two biggest markets in the last month, this was a while back, were like Memphis and Jackson, Mississippi.

I don't know what it is. Fuck. I was like, the only thing we have to do now is make sure that none of those people ever see that I'm the guy. Right. Fuck. It's like Whitney Houston. Yeah. Make a drink called the cotton.

They definitely think it's a black woman named. Fake Jordans on. That guy. You could never let that go, dude. You need to hire a Whitney. Oh, man. Yeah, so that was the surprise.

Little nips are great. That's the answer you were looking for. Yeah, yeah. No, I was surprised too. I guess not really, but it's kind of, you know. Yeah, because we were

trying to buy it somewhere on a trip with Donnie and they were like, you can't get it here. It flies off the shelf. But I forget where, too. I guess not really, but it's kind of, you know. Yeah, because we were trying to buy it somewhere on a trip with Donnie, and they were like, you can't get it here. It flies off the shelf. But I forget where we were. It's everywhere. They said, yeah, the black women love it. Yes. Is that surprising how popular it is?

Not that part, but the fact that it literally sells out. That's crazy. Yeah, it went up to Canada at the beginning. There was lines waiting. We're like, what is happening right now? And then I think at this point it's obviously slowed down, but at the beginning I was like, we cannot have people find out this is me.

That's the only thing that will ruin this. It's like just running and hiding. Have you accommodated your marketing strategy? We don't even really have. No, you don't. It's just good. It's one of those things that just sells itself It looks cool

You get loaded and you don't have to drink Remember drinking Jaeger to get loaded It was horrible It's so funny to actually think about the phases It was Jaeger It was Southern Comfort Then it was Fireball Fireball was dark

The summer of Fireball I don't know 14 It was like we can do shots forever No you can't Then it was Fireball. Fireball was dark. Fireball, the summer of Fireball. I don't know, 14. Soco Lime. It was like, we can do shots forever. No, you can't. It felt like shit every weekend. Soco Lime.

Rumpelmints. Oh, yeah, I remember Rumpelmints. It's like, oh, it makes your breath smell good. Yeah, exactly. I will say, what was the one in Canada they did? It was like Jack Daniels mixed with Johnny Walker mixed with something else, like the Three Cowboys. Three Horsemen or something?

Four Horsemen? Yeah. That's what Biz just used to crush before he just crushed some girl from Calgary. Hey, babe, hey, babe, you want to do some shots? I play in the league. I played two minutes tonight. You want to fuck?

They always did. Does Biz ever get mad that it's not the pink Biz? No, he doesn't give a shit. As long as he's making money, you think he cares? He's probably figuring out a beer or some blue Bissonnette to make, though. Yeah. He's definitely going to come out with some computer.

Oh, 100%. He'll gas me off the podcast and come up with his own drink. Like, all right, nice knowing with some competition. Oh, 100%. He'll probably. Don't. He'll gas me off the podcast and come up with his own drink. Like, all right, nice knowing you, biz. Sweet. Oh, fuck. All right. What else you got today?

I got nothing. I got nothing. We're getting ready for a big stream tonight. All you guys are welcome. I know you guys are probably busy, but if you want to come over, we got hockey. Big Cat might even make an appearance. Hoboken. Thinking about it.

And NHL playoffs are buzzing. So, I know all I see is NFL, NBA, others. It was such a slap in the face. Who makes those? Probably fucking Minivan Boy over there with his stupid glasses on. Stephen Che. Let's pause a little bit there. Stephen, how many?

Pop a minivan, buddy. Let's play a game. Stephen, how many playoff hockey teams can you name right now? All of them, I bet. No. None of them. Oh, I thought you actually had every sport. Colorado.

What are they? Name the team. Avalanche. Okay. Carolina Hurricanes. Okay. I think you'll get 10. How many are left?

No chance. All of them. 14 more. All but two are left. New York Rangers. Shout out Avery. Pittsburgh Penguins. Yeah. Wow. but two are left. New York Rangers. Shout out Avery. Pittsburgh Penguins. Yeah.

Wow. He's cooking now. Tampa Bay Lightning. Yep. F-Way. Toronto Maple Leafs. Yep. How many more are there?

Four. To get to 10. Oh, to 10. Yeah. Eight more total. Yeah. Las Vegas Knights. Nope.

No. Not even their name. They exist. Golden Knights. Whatever, dude. No. Not even their name. They exist. Golden Knights, whatever, dude. Why don't you say their name? Whatever. I'm impressed by six. It's not bad.

Yeah. Yeah, the original six. There you go. Las Vegas. Stephen Chay's original six, the Tampa Bay Lightning. Yeah. All right, boys, thanks for having me in. Thanks for having me in.

What a hell of a show you have here. Hell of a show. I love it. Quite something. Case race with us. Yes. That was not a hollow request. Hell of a show. I love it. Quite something. Case race with us. Anytime. You are case racing with us.

Every Tuesday. Yeah, every Tuesday. No, but we're going to start doing case races with guests, which will be very funny. Yeah, exactly. So you'll just... I'm in. I'm in. Pre-record it, too, so you can be yourself. Yeah.

We'll bleep you out. We could cut stairs. Yeah. When he lives a life. Yeah, it's sweet. Literally has the best life ever. We need to come up with a drink so we can live a life. Yeah, it's sweet. He literally has the best life ever. We need to come up with a drink so we can live that life. Well, we probably would need to go to the league first.

I don't think so. It is wild. I'm sure the goal was to have a functioning alcohol brand, and now it's bigger than anything. It's a giant. And the fact that he's very open about the fact that he doesn't want to work more than he wants to work, and he still has the number one hockey podcast. He lives a life.

He golfs. I guess it probably was hard to get into the NHL, so he deserves a little credit for that. But no credit really is deserved. It wasn't that hard either. How many guys can say it? Top three pick or something like that? He was taking second overall. Third overall, yeah.

Third overall pick. And then he's on tomorrow's PMT, and I had to bring up this time of year, he got traded from the Penguins when they won the Cup. Yeah, I didn't get it. Brutal. So he never won a Cup? Never won a Cup.

On a Cup-winning team. What a fucking loser. Walk on on Nova, got kicked off the fall? Never won a cup. He's on a cup-winning team. What a fucking loser. Walk on on Nova. Got kicked off the fall before they won it all. Damn. Tough. That sucks. That probably doesn't bother him at all.

Damn, look at this reconfiguration. Now I'm next to you instead of Brandon being next to you. That's Stanko. Now Brandon's with Nick. Stanko with the ankles. Now Steven's doing his Marine signs. Can we's with me. Stanko with the ankles. This is, now Stephen's doing his marine signs. Can we just show

the marine sign? That wasn't our sign. Don't say anything. Do the marine sign again. Do the marine sign again. Just interrupt and say do it. Say,

is that me? Ad read. Ad read, then I wipe my butt. This is ad read? Then you wiped your butt? Yeah, it's like on the bottom

of the thing. I lick your gums again. I thought we were about to fucking swat someone. Ad read. Yeah. Do the ad read, Brandon. Dudes, we need to have a serious chat about your bathroom habits.

It's time to quit shitty, scratchy toilet paper and switch to dude wipes. Why do you sound nervous? I'm not nervous. Am I nervous? Yeah, you sound nervous. Do I sound nervous, Kyle? Yeah, you do. You take on this demeanor every once in a while. Usually when Big Cat's absent,

but you're still taking it on. I don't have a demeanor. It's my ad voice. I have a bad ad voice. Okay. No, you have a good one. You're nervous. Dude wipes are extra-large flushable wipes made with plant-sourced fibers designed to give your butt a cleaner, more refreshing finish than TP after dropping a deuce. Now you're mad. That was just my normal voice.

You're mad now. That was a spite read. That was a total spite. All right. Let me. Dude wipes will change your life. Your butt will. Nervous again.

Breathe, baby boy. Go southern. Yourself. Go real southern. Look at me. Look at me. Go real southern. Look at me.

You're a star. I'm going southern. You're a star. Dude wipes will change your life. There it is. I don't want your life. Your butt will thank you, and you'll never look at an empty toilet paper roll the same way again. I actually felt bad for you doing Southern.

I felt like we were making you kind of dance a little bit. A little bit. Playing into it. Go back to Southern. They also have other great personal care products. That's pretty good. Like dude powder and dude shower body wipes. Perfect for other sticky situations.

You can find everything at Amazon or Dude Wipes at Walmart and Target nationwide. I think that there's something that people from the South need to know about us Yankees. And it's that just because we enjoy your accent, we're not calling you a hick. And I think that there's some kind of inherent dudes are worried that they're being called a hick or something. I ran into that when I was in Texas. When I was like, we want to interview this guy because he's got an awesome accent. And he's like, well, you think I'm a hick or something like that? It's like, no, your accent is fucking awesome.

Right. Yeah, and I don't think southern accents make you sound less smart. I think it makes you sound kinder. We are calling Brandon a hick, right? Go to dudevibes.com and use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order. We're jankies. We're jankies. Not a janky.

Yeah. The accent is cool. And there's different – I mean – I don't have a cool southern accent. That's the problem. There are people that have cool southern accents. Mine is just – I barely have an accent. You have a twang.

Yeah, a twang is cooler than a twang. A twang is way more powerful. I was interviewing a guy named A.J. Stiles. There's You have a twang. Yeah, a twang is cooler than a twang. Which is way more powerful. I was interviewing a guy named A.J. Stiles. There's a mystery to twang. He has a huge southern accent, much better than mine. And I was, like, jealous. Georgia and Texas have the two kings of southern accent, followed by South Carolina.

Well, I think Alabama's in there, too, because they fuck around. I think that's tertiary. I think it's third tier. They say things like life, and they don't know how to say I sounds. Life. Life and off and all that. So they're weird. Tennessee's also got one.

Mississippi doesn't really have its own accent. It's not fair. It's bullshit, actually. We have other things that we own that's not great. Like you have a twang. It's an accessible, it's the training wheels of voices. Yeah, but when Roan does my impersonation of me, he's not impersonating me. He's doing Hank Hill. No, no, no. He's got you down. Do the dude wipe ad. Do the dude wipe ad when Roan does my impersonation of me, he's not impersonating me. He's doing Hank Hill.

No, no, no. He's got you down. Do the dude wipe ad. Do the dude wipe ad, Roan. Do the dude wipe ad. I've only seen Beavis and Butthead do it. Roan, close your eyes and figure out if this is Brandon. You guys switch back and forth.

We'll close our eyes. I'll guess. Dudes, we need to have a serious conversation. Roan, Roan, start. Roan, start. Is that Roan or Brandon? I can't keep going you want me to start

dudes we need to have a serious chat about your bathroom habits it's time to quit shitty crotchy toilet paper alright Brandon just took over that was Brandon they're talking at the same time he popped on it he went word for word

fuck y'all that was Rone 75% of it. They're talking at the same time. You popcorned it. It went word for word. Fuck y'all. That was wrong. Fuck y'all. Just guttural throat sounds. It's a winning accent. Yeah, they're a lot more disgusting northeast accents. For example, Rhode Island.

That's a bad accent. I would agree. I don't know. How do you deduce them from other New Englands? I don't know. I feel like you just know it when you see one, when you see the words coming out of their mouth. You ever been to Rhode Island?

Yeah, went to school in Providence. I don't know. Rhode Island, they just have sort of all the downsides of Massachusetts with none of, like, the accolades. Or, like, Fisherman-y to me. It's not an island. No. Not a road either. What?

Rhode Island and the Providence. It's also tiny. You could just go furthest tip to furthest tip, 40 minutes. Whoa. It's barely a state. It doesn't need to be a state. Nick, how are you feeling after the Swirly yesterday? It was gross.

And, yeah, I showered a handful of times. The first one didn't take? No, it didn't. Yeah, I felt unclean. Still do a tiny bit. But I used two different shampoos. I thought that would work. Whoa. It did. Oh, the dude wipes didn't do the trick? Yeah, I felt unclean. Still do a tiny bit. But I used two different shampoos. I thought that would work.

Whoa. It did. Oh, the dude wipes didn't do the trick? The dude wipes, it... Back me into a corner here. That's better for the butthole. I didn't have any dude shower. I used them all.

Yeah. On the RV road. Yeah, you did. You're ravenous about the fucking dude wipes. You guys a little nostalgic for the RV? Yeah. It was a simpler life. You get off the road, there's a moment where you're like,

damn, I wish I was just on the road. Wasn't a care in the world. Yeah. I was worried about my next meal. So I guess that's a care. Road. There was one care in the world. Did you guys have any good meals the whole time?

I feel like you guys ate like shit. Yeah. Walker ordered us Greek five times. She loves Greek. She just figured. She likes falafel. She likes falafel. Why is she in charge of picking the food? She did a good job.

She did a great job. Tornado Room. We went to a steakhouse in Madison. Did you guys go to Tornado Room? Yeah, that was our big splurge of the trip. Yeah, because I was like, I don't know if you guys have time. Steak night in Madison. That was the best steak I've ever had.

You went to Tornado Room. You didn't finish your steak at Tornado Room. Actually, that's how I eat steak. I was sick of it. What steak? I've never been disgusted with Ramon except for that night. It depends. No, actually twice that night you were disgusted.

What was the other time? With my jukebox selection. Oh, yeah. I think that was the worst night in our history. Yeah, it probably was. We almost broke up. Did you play Big L or something? I played Bubba Sparks.

Yeah, it was like we were at my favorite dive bar in Madison, and it was not the vibe. Bubba Sparks in the jukebox. Yeah, you didn't finish your steak at Tornado Room. Honestly, I like it. If I'm ever going to have steak at night, I make sure that I exercise during the day. I change my whole eating habits.

I'll never not finish a steak again. I was so shamed and embarrassed. I was very upset at you. What was the cut? It was a fat ass cut and I also had too much French onion beforehand. Yeah, we did. It was a hearty French onion too. I wanted the wedge salad. I got a duck.

You got a duck. I had frog legs. Wasn't that? It was good. Dana got a French onion, then for dinner clam chowder. He double souped. He did double soup. He went to dinner in Vegas, and I went. Hey, you. Put on a show. I did like seven courses.

Hi. Hey, you. You hey you and Joe list? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Wait, did you ever hear the story about Dana ordering, he double souped one time, and he just took the soup from one and put it into the other until they were like a perfect mix of both of the soups. What were they?

I don't despise that. A French onion and I forget what it was. There's some fucking story. Is Dana there, Steven? I need to hear which soups now. I love soup, but I would just never order it, like ever. I go, we went in Vegas, I went soup, salad, and naps. Yeah, that was it.

And ice cream for dinner. That was a deep-ass order. Oh, dude, I went. I felt worse than if I had drank all night. And we left the dinner, and I was like, I can barely walk. That's awesome, though. Yeah. I would be like.

Just to go, like, sit down and just be like, let's go to work. That is my kind of night out in Vegas, though. And I'm not kidding. Just to have, like, a fucking awesome, fat-ass dinner. I was in bed before 10 o'clock that night. Yep. Isn't, like. out in Vegas, though. I'm not kidding. Just to have a fucking awesome, fat-ass dinner. I was in bed before 10 o'clock that night. Yep, yep. Finished my steak, though. Yeah, you did.

I'm growing up. Clean plate club. And growing out. Adam. Just kidding. All right, I mean, this was a great show. Yeah. This is one of the best shows we've done

Where nothing Ever yeah Where we didn't have to do anything stupid Just ever Wow he's nice A little scatrick Maybe we could do that Just like the olden days

Watch yourself If you can't If you can't handle me at just talking You don't deserve me at swirlies We should have a show Where we throw up in each other's mouths Shit like that Be bird.

A projectile, though. Two girls, one cup wheel? Yeah. With throw up, though. Doing hamburger draft Friday? Yes. Everyone in? Yes.

We haven't done a draft in a really long time. So we're adding H-A-N-M to burger meat? Yes. Yeah, so we'll bring in a George Foreman, H-A-M. We're not going to be able to cook them all at once. We're bringing in Chef Donnie to cook, or are we going to let Owen cook? We should bring in Chef Donnie to cook. Chef Donnie.

And we should try to do a whole flat-out skillet so everything can cook at once instead of a George Foreman, which then we won't be able to eat simultaneously. True. Unless we can't do that. Unless we can't. A lot of logistics. What's the bun situation? Is everybody here next week?

Brioche. Weekend. No, I'm not here all next week. No, let's do it on Friday. Friday. Friday. We'll be fine. We'll be fine.

Oh, it's going to be. And is there cheese involved? Yeah. No, I think. One of your letters. Yeah, I think the cheese. I think some people should get cheese and some shouldn't. Some people will have to spell cheeseburger?

No, I think that some people should just, there should be some kind of other side game and like three people can get a slice of cheese. I like that. And is everything getting cooked in or are there any toppings? No, the topping, no, everything's getting cooked in. Okay. Maybe a mystery topping? I think everybody should have one topping. A mystery topping. So H-A-N-M get cooked in the topping. No, everything's getting cooked in. Okay. Maybe a mystery topping? I think everybody should have one topping.

A mystery topping. So H-A-N-M get cooked in mystery topping. And we're going to battle for cheese. A Yankee swap for the mystery topping? I did like the battle for cheese. Yeah. Battle for cheese is just a whole other thing. Oh, Yankee swap for mystery.

Well, no. Is it Yankee swap for the giraffe? No, I can't remember. Yankee swap for mystery topping. Is the ping pong machine going to be needed? Oh, the wheel. The wheel. It's the wheel.

The ping pong machine is dead. The wheel. It's dead. It'll be needed? Oh, the wheel now. It's the wheel. The ping pong machine is dead. The wheel. It'll be back. Oh, we'll use the wheel. All right. Seasonally retired. The wheel. Ping pong went Hollywood.

The wheel now, yeah. For my mystery topping, I would like to just pick wet. So you have to eat it in the shower. So the burger gets wet. Yeah. All over. Why might it just be a wet burger? Yeah, water gets wet.

It's my mystery topping. It's wild that water can be the grossest thing to put on stuff. Dude, on buns? Yeah. There's already water in it. Yeah.

A ton of water. Mainly water. It takes to make a bun. So gross. Okay. Great show, boys. See everyone tomorrow and Friday.

We're going gonna have a draft Extra long show I'm sure Hell yes 10x 10x 10x In the chat

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